1
00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:08,519
Snap dragons. Mister and Missus Scratch. Once upon a time there lived a

2
00:00:08,519 --> 00:00:13,880
certain family of the name of Scratch. It has a Russian or Polish look,

3
00:00:14,199 --> 00:00:19,559
and yet they most certainly lived in
England. They were remarkable for the

4
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:26,839
following peculiarity. They seldom seriously quarreled, but they never agreed about anything.

5
00:00:28,039 --> 00:00:32,200
It is hard to say whether it
were more painful for their friends to hear

6
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:39,200
them constantly contradicting each other, or
gratifying to discover that it meant nothing and

7
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:46,719
was only their way. It began
with the father and mother. They were

8
00:00:46,759 --> 00:00:51,520
a worthy couple and really attached to
each other, but they had a habit

9
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:58,759
of contradicting each other's statements and opposing
each other's opinions, which, though mutually

10
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:03,359
understood and allowed for in private,
was most trying to the bystanders. In

11
00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:10,439
public. If one related an anecdote, the other would break in with half

12
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:15,799
a dozen corrections of trivial details of
no interest or importance to anyone the speakers

13
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:23,079
included. For instance, suppose the
two dining in a strange house, a

14
00:01:23,159 --> 00:01:29,519
Missus Scratch seated by the host and
contributing to the small talk of the dinner

15
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:34,799
table. Thus, Oh, yes, very changeable weather. Indeed, it

16
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,200
looked quite promising yesterday morning in the
town. But it began to rain at

17
00:01:38,239 --> 00:01:45,959
noon a quarter past eleven, My
dear, mister Scratch's voice would be heard

18
00:01:46,079 --> 00:01:49,840
to say from several chairs down,
in the corrective tones of a husband and

19
00:01:49,959 --> 00:01:56,480
father. And really, my dear, so far from being a promising morning,

20
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,959
I must say, it looked about
as threatening as it well could.

21
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:05,079
Good. Your memory is not always
accurate in small matters, my love,

22
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:12,120
But missus Scratch had not been a
wife a mother for fifteen years to be

23
00:02:12,319 --> 00:02:19,400
snuffed out at one snap of the
marital snuffers. As mister Scratch leaned forward

24
00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:25,199
in his chair, she leaned forward
in hers and defended herself across the intervening

25
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:31,240
couples. Why, my dear,
mister Scratch, you said yourself the weather

26
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:37,159
had not been so promising for a
week. What I said, my dear,

27
00:02:37,319 --> 00:02:40,639
pardon me, was that the barometer
was higher than it had been for

28
00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:46,599
a week. But as you might
have observed if these details were in your

29
00:02:46,759 --> 00:02:53,039
line, my love, which they
are not, the rise was extraordinarily rapid,

30
00:02:53,599 --> 00:03:00,919
and there is no surer sign of
unsettled weather. But miss Miss Scratch

31
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:07,439
is apt to forget these unimportant trifles, he added, with a comprehensive smile

32
00:03:07,599 --> 00:03:13,759
round the dinner table. Her thoughts
are very properly absorbed by the more important

33
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:20,319
domestic questions of the nursery. Now, I think that's rather unfair on mister

34
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:25,520
Scratch's part. Missus Scratchwood chirp with
a smile, quite as affable and general

35
00:03:25,719 --> 00:03:32,400
as her husband's. I'm sure he's
quite as forgetful and inaccurate as I am.

36
00:03:32,599 --> 00:03:38,360
And I don't think my memory is
at all a bad one. You

37
00:03:38,599 --> 00:03:43,240
forgot the dinner hour when we were
going out to dine last week, nevertheless,

38
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,639
said mister Scratch. And you couldn't
help me when I asked you,

39
00:03:49,199 --> 00:03:53,479
was the sprightly retort. And I'm
sure it's not like you to forget anything

40
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:59,719
about dinner, my dear. The
letter was addressed to you, said mister

41
00:03:59,759 --> 00:04:04,360
Scrat. I sent it to you
by Jemima, said missus Scratch. I

42
00:04:04,439 --> 00:04:10,599
didn't read it, said mister Scratch. Well you burnt it, said missus

43
00:04:10,599 --> 00:04:15,240
Scratch. And as I always say, there's nothing more foolish than burning a

44
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:20,879
letter of invitation before the day,
for when it's certain to forget. I've

45
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:26,560
no doubt you always do say it, mister Scratch remarked with a smile,

46
00:04:27,319 --> 00:04:30,879
But I certainly never remember to have
heard the observation from your lips, my

47
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:39,399
love, whose memories in fault?
There? Asked Missus Scratch triumphantly, And

48
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:44,480
as at this point the ladies rose, Missus Scratch had the last word.

49
00:04:46,399 --> 00:04:51,199
Indeed, as may be gathered from
this conversation, Missus Scratch was quite able

50
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:57,560
to defend herself. When she was
yet a bride and young and timid,

51
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:03,160
she used to collapse where mister Scratch
contradicted her statements and set her stories straight

52
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:11,600
in public. Then she hardly ever
opened her lips without disappearing under the domestic

53
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:17,879
extinguisher. But in the course of
fifteen years she had learned that mister Scratch's

54
00:05:17,959 --> 00:05:23,319
bark was a great deal worse than
his bite, if indeed he had a

55
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:29,800
bite at all. Thus, snubs
that made other people's ears tingle had no

56
00:05:29,879 --> 00:05:34,639
effect whatever on the lady to whom
they were addressed, for she knew exactly

57
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:41,040
what they were worth, and had
by this time become fairly adept at snapping

58
00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:46,360
in return. In the days when
she succumbed, she was occasionally unhappy,

59
00:05:46,759 --> 00:05:51,879
but now she and her husband understood
each other, and having agreed to differ,

60
00:05:53,439 --> 00:06:00,639
they unfortunately agreed also to differ in
public. Indeed, it was the

61
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:04,879
bystanders who had the worst of it
on these occasions. To the worthy couple

62
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:11,480
themselves. The habit had become second
nature and in no way affected the friendly

63
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:17,759
tenor of their domestic relations. They
would interfere with each other's conversation, contradicting

64
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:25,120
assertions and disputing conclusions for a whole
evening. And then, when all the

65
00:06:25,199 --> 00:06:30,480
world and his wife thought that these
ceaseless sparks of bickering must blaze up into

66
00:06:30,519 --> 00:06:34,399
a flaming quarrel, as soon as
they were alone, they would bowl amiably

67
00:06:34,439 --> 00:06:40,160
home in a cab, criticizing the
friends who were commenting upon them, and

68
00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:45,560
as little agreed about the events of
the evening as about the details of any

69
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:50,839
other events whatsoever. Yes, the
bystanders certainly had the worst of it.

70
00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:59,199
Those who were near wished themselves anywhere
else, especially when appealed to Those who

71
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,680
were at a distance did not mind
so much. A domestic squabble at a

72
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:09,800
certain distance is interesting, like an
engagement viewed from a point beyond the range

73
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:15,600
of guns. In such a position
one may some day be placed oneself.

74
00:07:15,199 --> 00:07:20,560
Moreover, it gives a touch of
excitement to a dull evening to be able

75
00:07:20,639 --> 00:07:25,079
to say, sought a vote,
chay to one's neighbor. Do listen,

76
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:30,920
The scratches are at it again.
Their unmarried friends thought a terrible abyss of

77
00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:36,199
tyranny and aggravation must lie beneath it
all, and bless their stars that they

78
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:42,079
were still single and able to tell
a tale their own way. The married

79
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:46,319
ones had more idea of how it
really was, and wished, in the

80
00:07:46,439 --> 00:07:50,800
name of common sense and good taste, that Scratch and his wife would not

81
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:58,079
make fools of themselves. So it
went on, however, and so I

82
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:03,240
suppose it goes on still, for
not many habits are cured in middle Age.

83
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:11,240
On certain questions of comparatives speaking,
their views were never identical, such

84
00:08:11,319 --> 00:08:16,199
as the temperature being hot or cold, things being light or dark, the

85
00:08:16,319 --> 00:08:22,759
apple tarts being sweet or sour.
So one day mister Scratch came into the

86
00:08:22,839 --> 00:08:28,160
room, rubbing his hands and planting
himself at the fire with bitterly cold it

87
00:08:28,279 --> 00:08:33,559
is to day to be sure,
why my dear William said missus scratch,

88
00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:39,200
I'm sure you must have got a
cold. I feel a fire quite oppressive

89
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:45,480
myself. You were wishing you to
seal skin jacket yesterday when it wasn't half

90
00:08:45,519 --> 00:08:50,639
as cold as it is to day, said mister Scratch. My dear William,

91
00:08:50,159 --> 00:08:54,000
Why the children were shivering the whole
day and the wind was in the

92
00:08:54,159 --> 00:09:00,960
north due east, missus Scratch,
I know by the moke, said missus

93
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:07,000
Scratch, softly, but decidedly.
I fancy I can tell an east wind

94
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:11,840
when I feel it, said mister
Scratch, jocosely to the company. I

95
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:18,480
told jermy matter, look at the
weathercock, murmured missus Scratch. I don't

96
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:24,879
care a fig for Jemima, said
her husband. On another occasion, Missus

97
00:09:24,879 --> 00:09:30,080
Scratch and the lady friend were conversing. We met him at the smith's.

98
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:35,840
A gentleman like, agreeable man,
about forty, said missus Scratch, in

99
00:09:35,919 --> 00:09:41,639
reference to some matter interesting to both
ladies. Not a day over thirty five,

100
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:46,840
said mister Scratch from behind his newspaper. Why, my dear William,

101
00:09:48,159 --> 00:09:54,000
his hair's gray, said missus Scratch. Plenty of men are gray at thirty,

102
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:58,159
said mister Scratch. I knew a
man who was gray at twenty five,

103
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:03,519
well, forty or thirty five.
It doesn't much matter, said missus

104
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:09,039
Scratch, about to resume her narration. Five years matter a good deal to

105
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:13,960
most people at thirty five, said
mister Scratch, as he walked towards the

106
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:20,759
door. They would make a remarkable
difference to me, I know, And

107
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:26,440
with a jocular air, mister Scratch
departed, and Missus Scratch had the rest

108
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:35,639
of the anecdote her own way.
The little scratches. The spirit of contradiction

109
00:10:35,879 --> 00:10:41,000
finds a place in most nurseries,
though to a varying degree in different ones.

110
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:48,399
Children snap and snile by nature like
young puppies, and most of us

111
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:54,679
can remember taking part in some such
spirited dialogs as the following, I will

112
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:58,879
you dn't you can't. I dare
you shall? I shall tell them,

113
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:03,759
Ah, you won't. I don't
care if you do. It is the

114
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:11,320
part of wise parents to repress these
squibs and crackers of juvenile contention, and

115
00:11:11,519 --> 00:11:16,960
to enforce that slowly learned lesson that
in this world one must often pass over

116
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:22,960
and put up with things in other
people. Being oneself by no means perfect.

117
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:28,399
Also that it is a kindness and
almost a duty to let people think

118
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:35,919
and say and do things in their
own way occasionally. But even if mister

119
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:41,960
and missus Scratch had ever thought of
teaching all this to their children, it

120
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:46,720
must be confessed that the lesson would
not have come with a good grace from

121
00:11:46,919 --> 00:11:52,240
either of them, since they snapped
and snarled between themselves as much or more

122
00:11:52,399 --> 00:11:58,840
than their children. In the nursery. The two eldest were the leaders in

123
00:11:58,879 --> 00:12:03,200
the nursery squabble. Between these,
a boy and a girl, a ceaseless

124
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:09,679
war of words was waged from morning
to night. And as neither of them

125
00:12:09,759 --> 00:12:15,720
lacked ready wit, and both were
in constant practice, the art of snapping

126
00:12:15,879 --> 00:12:22,039
was cultivated by them to the highest
pitch. It began at breakfast, if

127
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:28,840
not sooner. You've taken my chair. It's not your chair, you know,

128
00:12:28,919 --> 00:12:31,360
it's the one I like, And
it was in my place. How

129
00:12:31,399 --> 00:12:35,600
do you know it was in your
place? Never mind? I do know,

130
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:39,120
No, you don't. Yes,
I do. Suppose I say it

131
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:43,759
was in my place. You can't, for it wasn't. I can if

132
00:12:43,799 --> 00:12:48,039
I like, well, was it? Shan't tell you? Ah? That

133
00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:52,200
shows it wasn't. No, it
doesn't, Yes, it does. Et

134
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:58,080
cetera, et cetera, et cetera. The direction of their daily walks was

135
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:03,840
a fruitful of deference of opinion.
Let's go on the common today, nurse.

136
00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:07,919
Oh, don't let's go there.
We're always going on the Common.

137
00:13:09,519 --> 00:13:13,159
I'm sure we're not. We've not
been there for ever so long. Oh

138
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:18,759
what a story we were there on
Wednesday. Let's go down Gypsy Lane.

139
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:24,840
We never go down Gypsy Lane.
Why we're always going down Gypsy Lane and

140
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:30,240
there's nothing to see there. I
don't care. I won't go on the

141
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:33,879
Common, and I shall go and
get Papa and say we're to go down

142
00:13:33,919 --> 00:13:37,720
gypsy lane. I can run faster
than you. That's very sneaking, But

143
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:43,279
I don't care, Papa, Papa. Polly's called me a sneak. No

144
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:48,320
I didn't, Papa, you did, No, I didn't. I only

145
00:13:48,399 --> 00:13:52,200
said it was sneaking of you to
say you'd run faster than me and get

146
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:56,519
Papa to say we were to go
down gypsy Lane. Then you did call

147
00:13:56,639 --> 00:14:03,120
him sneaking, said mister scratch.
And you're a very naughty, ill manner

148
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:07,080
little girl. You're getting very troublesome, Polly, and I shall have to

149
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:13,080
send you to school where you'll be
kept in order go where your brother wishes

150
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:18,840
at once. For Polly and her
brother had reached an age when it was

151
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:24,519
convenient, if possible, to throw
the blame of all nursery differences on Polly.

152
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:31,720
In families where domestic discipline is rather
fractious than firm, there comes a

153
00:14:31,799 --> 00:14:37,600
stage when the girls almost invariably go
to the wall because they will stand snubbing

154
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:43,039
and the boys will not. Domestic
authority, like some other powers, is

155
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:50,799
apt to be magnified on the weaker
class. But mister Scratch would not always

156
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:54,799
listen, even to Harry. If
you don't give it me back directly,

157
00:14:56,080 --> 00:15:00,159
I'll tell about your eating the two
magnum bonums in the kitchen garden, and

158
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:05,600
on Sunday, said Master Harry,
on one occasion, tell tale, tit.

159
00:15:05,879 --> 00:15:09,320
Your tongue shall be slit, and
every dog in the town shall have

160
00:15:09,399 --> 00:15:13,000
a little bit quoited. His sister. Ah, you've called me a tell

161
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:18,720
tale. Now I'll go and tell
Papa you got into a fine scrape for

162
00:15:18,799 --> 00:15:22,360
calling me names the other day.
Go then, I don't care. You

163
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:26,919
wouldn't like me to go. I
know you dn't. That's what it is.

164
00:15:28,799 --> 00:15:33,039
I dare, then, why don't
you? Oh, I am going,

165
00:15:33,159 --> 00:15:37,279
but you'll see what will be the
end of it. Polly, however,

166
00:15:37,759 --> 00:15:43,320
had her own reasons for remaining stolid, and Harry started, but when

167
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:48,759
he reached the landing, he paused. Mister Scratch had especially announced that morning

168
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:54,000
that he did not wish to be
disturbed, and though he was a favorite,

169
00:15:54,200 --> 00:16:00,279
Harry had no desire to invade the
dining room at this crisis. So

170
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,080
he returned to the nursery and said, with a magnanimous air, I don't

171
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,960
want to get you into a scrape, Polly. If you'll beg my pardon,

172
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:12,360
I won't go. I'm sure I
shan't, said Polly, who was

173
00:16:12,559 --> 00:16:18,679
equally well informed as to the position
of affairs at headquarters. Go if you

174
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:22,759
dare. I won't if you want
me not, said Harry, discreetly,

175
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:30,039
waving the question of apologies. But
I'd rather you went, said the obdurate

176
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,720
Polly. You're always telling tales.
Go and till now if you're not afraid.

177
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:40,840
So Harry went, but at the
bottom of the stairs he lingered again

178
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:45,919
and was meditating how to return with
most credit to his dignity, when Polly's

179
00:16:45,919 --> 00:16:52,399
face appeared through the banisters, and
Polly's sharp tongue goaded him on. Ah,

180
00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:56,600
I see you, you're stopping.
You daren't go, I dare,

181
00:16:56,919 --> 00:17:02,960
said Harry, And at last he
went. As he turned the handle of

182
00:17:03,039 --> 00:17:08,519
the door, mister scratch turned round. Please Papa, Harry began. Get

183
00:17:08,599 --> 00:17:12,759
away with you, cried mister scratch. Didn't I tell you I was not

184
00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:18,119
to be disturbed this morning? What
an extraw? But Harry had shut the

185
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:26,400
door and withdrawn precipitately. Once outside, he returned to the nursery with dignified

186
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,680
steps and an air of apparent satisfaction, saying, you're to give me the

187
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:37,200
bricks? Please? Who says so? Why? Who should say so?

188
00:17:37,519 --> 00:17:41,440
Where have I been, pray?
I don't know, and I don't care.

189
00:17:41,039 --> 00:17:45,519
I've been to Papa there. Did
he say I was to give up

190
00:17:45,519 --> 00:17:51,039
the bricks? I've told you,
No, you've not. I shan't tell

191
00:17:51,039 --> 00:17:55,839
you any more. Then I'll go
to Papa and ask. Go by all

192
00:17:55,920 --> 00:18:00,480
means, I won't if you tell
me, truly, I sh aun't tell

193
00:18:00,519 --> 00:18:03,519
you anything. Go and ask if
you dare, said Harry, only too

194
00:18:03,599 --> 00:18:08,680
glad to have the tables turned.
Polly's expedition met with the same fate,

195
00:18:08,799 --> 00:18:15,079
and she attempted to cover her retreat
in a similar manner. Ah, you

196
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:19,960
didn't tell I don't believe you,
asked Papa, don't you very well?

197
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:26,559
Well? Did you never mind?
Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

198
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:33,599
Meanwhile, mister Scratch scolded Missus Scratch
for not keeping the children in better

199
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:40,880
order, and Missus Scratch said it
was quite impossible to do so when mister

200
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:48,920
Scratch spoiled Harry as he did and
weakened her Missus Scratch's authority by constant interference.

201
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:55,799
Differences of sex gave point to many
of these nursery squabbles, as it

202
00:18:55,920 --> 00:19:00,279
so often does to domestic broils.
Boys will never do what they're asked,

203
00:19:00,799 --> 00:19:07,480
Polly would complain, girls are such
unreasonable things. Was Harry's retort, not

204
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:12,319
half so unreasonable as the things you
ask Ah, that's a different thing.

205
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:17,319
Women have got to do what men
tell them, whether it's reasonable or not.

206
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:22,839
No, they've not, said Polly. At least that's only husbands and

207
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:29,839
wives. All women are inferior animals, said Harry. Try ordering mamma to

208
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:33,799
do what you want and see,
said Polly. Men have got to give

209
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:38,319
orders and women have to obey,
said Harry, falling back on the general

210
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:42,680
principle. And when I get a
wife, I'll take care, I make

211
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:47,960
her do what I tell her.
But you'll have to obey your husband.

212
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,400
When you get one. I won't
have a husband. Then I can do

213
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:56,880
as I like. Oh won't you? You'll try to get one. I

214
00:19:56,039 --> 00:20:02,119
know girls always want to be married. I'm sure. I don't know why,

215
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,559
said Polly. They must have had
enough of men if they have brothers.

216
00:20:06,599 --> 00:20:11,039
And so they went on add in
for nitum, with ceaseless arguments that

217
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:17,880
proved nothing and convinced nobody, and
a continual stream of contradiction that just fell

218
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:23,640
short of downright quarreling. Indeed,
there was a kind of snapping even less

219
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:29,599
near to a dispute than in the
cases just mentioned. The little Scratches,

220
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:34,480
like some other children, were under
the unfortunate delusion that it sounds clever to

221
00:20:34,559 --> 00:20:41,319
hear little boys and girls snap each
other up with smart sayings and old and

222
00:20:41,519 --> 00:20:47,160
rather vulgar plays upon words as these. I'll give you a Christmas box,

223
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:52,759
which ear will you have it on? I won't stand it, pray,

224
00:20:52,799 --> 00:20:56,039
take a chair. You shall have
it to morrow? To morrow, never

225
00:20:56,119 --> 00:21:00,799
comes, and so if a visitor
kindly began to talked to one of the

226
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,960
children, another was sure to draw
near and take up all the first child's

227
00:21:06,039 --> 00:21:11,640
answers with smart comments and catches that
sounded as silly as they were. Tiresome

228
00:21:11,759 --> 00:21:18,880
and impertinent and ill mannered as this
was, Mister and Missus Scratch never put

229
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,960
a stop to it. Indeed,
it was only a caricature of what they

230
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:27,359
did themselves. But they often said, we can't think how it is that

231
00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:36,680
children are always squabbling, the Scratch's
dog and the hot tempered gentleman. It

232
00:21:36,839 --> 00:21:41,799
is wonderful how the state of mind
of a whole household is influenced by the

233
00:21:41,839 --> 00:21:47,119
heads of it. Mister Scratch was
a very kind master, and Missus Scratch

234
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:52,839
was a very kind mistress, And
yet their servants lived in a perpetual fever

235
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:57,799
of irritability that just fell short of
discontent. They jostled each other on the

236
00:21:57,839 --> 00:22:03,039
back stairs, said sharp things in
the pantry, and kept up a perennial

237
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:07,519
warfare on the subject of the duty
of the sexes. With the general manservant.

238
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:15,759
They gave warning on the slightest provocation. The very dog was infected by

239
00:22:15,799 --> 00:22:19,039
the snapping mania. He was not
a brave dog, he was not a

240
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:26,680
vicious dog, and no high breeding
sanctioned his pretensions to arrogance. But like

241
00:22:26,759 --> 00:22:32,079
his owners, he had contracted a
bad habit, a trick which made him

242
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:37,400
the pest of all timid visitors,
and indeed of all visitors whatsoever. The

243
00:22:37,559 --> 00:22:42,519
moment anyone approached the house. On
certain occasions, when he was spoken to,

244
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:48,359
and often in no traceable connection with
any cause at all, Snap the

245
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:55,119
mongrel would rush out and bark in
his sharp little voice, Yap, yap

246
00:22:55,240 --> 00:23:00,240
yap. If the visitor made a
stand, he would bound away sideways on

247
00:23:00,279 --> 00:23:03,599
his four little legs. But the
moment the visitor went on his way again,

248
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:10,039
Snap was at his heels. Yap, yap, yap. He barked

249
00:23:10,039 --> 00:23:14,039
at the milkman, the butcher's boy, and the baker, though he saw

250
00:23:14,079 --> 00:23:18,599
them every day. He never got
used to the washerwoman, and she never

251
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:22,319
got used to him. She said, he put her in mind of that

252
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:29,000
there black dog in the pilgrim's progress. He sat at the gate in summer

253
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,000
and yapped at every vehicle and every
pedestrian who ventured to pass on the high

254
00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:37,880
road. He never but once had
the chance of barking at burglars, and

255
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:42,720
then though he barked long and loud, nobody got up, for they said

256
00:23:44,039 --> 00:23:49,720
it's only Snap's way. The Scratches
lost a silver teapot, a Stilton cheese,

257
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:56,200
and two electro christening mugs on this
occasion, and mister and Missus Scratch

258
00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:03,240
dispute who it was who discouraged reliance
on Snap's warning to the present day.

259
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:10,440
One Christmas time, a certain hot
tempered gentleman came to visit the Scratches,

260
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:15,119
a tall, sandy, energetic young
man who carried his own bag from the

261
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:22,319
railway. The bag had been crammed
rather than packed after the wont of bachelor's

262
00:24:22,839 --> 00:24:26,200
and you could see where the heel
of a boot distended the leather, and

263
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:30,839
where the bottle of shaving cream lay. As he came up to the house,

264
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:37,640
out came Snap, as usual,
Yap, Yap, yap. Now

265
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:41,640
the gentleman was very fond of dogs, and he had borne this greeting some

266
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:47,799
dozen of times from Snap, who, for his part, knew the visitor

267
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:52,279
quite as well as the washerwoman,
and rather better than the butcher's boy.

268
00:24:52,559 --> 00:24:56,799
The gentleman had good, sensible,
well behaved dogs, of his own,

269
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:03,960
and was greatly discussed with Snap's conduct. Nevertheless, he spoke friendly to him,

270
00:25:04,559 --> 00:25:10,039
and Snap, who had had many
a bit from his plate, could

271
00:25:10,039 --> 00:25:14,599
not help stopping for a minute to
lick his hand. But no sooner did

272
00:25:14,599 --> 00:25:18,480
the gentleman proceed on his way than
Snap flew at his heels in the usual

273
00:25:18,599 --> 00:25:26,319
fashion yup, yup, yup,
on which the gentleman, being hot tempered,

274
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:30,000
and one of those people with whom
it is as they say, a

275
00:25:30,079 --> 00:25:33,400
word and a blow, and the
blow first made a dash at Snap,

276
00:25:33,799 --> 00:25:38,960
and Snap, taking to his heels, the gentleman flung his carpet bag after

277
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:44,480
him. The bottle of shaving cream
hit upon a stone and was smashed.

278
00:25:45,279 --> 00:25:48,920
The heel of the boot caught Snap
on the back and sent him squealing to

279
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:56,279
the kitchen. And he never barked
at that gentleman again. If the gentleman

280
00:25:56,359 --> 00:26:03,160
disapproved of Snap's conduct, he still
like less the continual snapping of the Scratch

281
00:26:03,279 --> 00:26:07,960
family themselves. He was an old
friend of mister and missus Scratch, however,

282
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:12,519
and knew that they were really happy
together, and it was only a

283
00:26:12,559 --> 00:26:18,119
bad habit which made them constantly contradict
each other. It was in allusion to

284
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:23,920
their real affection for each other and
their perpetual disputing that he called them the

285
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:30,759
snapping turtles. When the war of
words waxed hottest at the dinner table between

286
00:26:30,799 --> 00:26:36,799
his host and hostess, he would
drive his hands through his shock of sandy

287
00:26:36,839 --> 00:26:41,599
hair and say, with a comical
glance out of his umber eyes, don't

288
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:47,160
flirt, my friends. It makes
a bachelor feel awkward, and neither mister

289
00:26:47,599 --> 00:26:52,799
nor missus scratch could help laughing with
the little scratches. His measures were more

290
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:57,519
vigorous. He was very fond of
children and a good friend to them.

291
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:03,279
He grudged no time or trouble to
help them in their games and projects,

292
00:27:03,039 --> 00:27:07,519
but he would not tolerate their snapping
up each other's words in his presence.

293
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:14,240
He was much more truly kind than
many visitors, who think it polite to

294
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:21,119
smile at the sauciness and forwardness which
ignorant vanity leads children so often to show

295
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:29,200
off before strangers. The civil acquaintances
only abuse both children and parents behind their

296
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:34,720
backs for the very bad habits which
they helped to encourage. The hot tempered

297
00:27:34,759 --> 00:27:41,640
gentleman's treatment of his young friends was
very different. One day, he was

298
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:47,559
talking to Polly and making some kind
inquiries about her lessons, to which she

299
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:53,000
was replying in a quiet and sensible
fashion, when up came Master Harry and

300
00:27:53,079 --> 00:27:59,759
began to display his wit by comments
on the conversation and by snapping at and

301
00:28:00,079 --> 00:28:06,920
contradicting his sister's remarks, to which
she retorted, and the usual snap dialog

302
00:28:07,319 --> 00:28:11,319
went on as usual. Then you
like music, said the hot tempered gentleman.

303
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:15,400
Yes, I like it very much, said Polly. Oh, do

304
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:19,799
you Harry broke In? Then what
are you always crying over it? For

305
00:28:21,759 --> 00:28:25,519
I'm not always crying over it?
Yes you are, No, I'm not.

306
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:30,799
I only cry sometimes when I stick
fast. Your music must be very

307
00:28:30,839 --> 00:28:34,759
sticky, for you're always stuck fast. Hold your tongue, said the hot

308
00:28:34,759 --> 00:28:41,640
tempered gentleman, with what he imagined
to be a very waggish air. Harry

309
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,559
put out his tongue and held it
with his finger and thumb. It was

310
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:51,519
unfortunate that he had not time to
draw it in again before the hot tempered

311
00:28:51,559 --> 00:28:56,920
gentleman gave him a stinging box on
the ear, which brought his teeth rather

312
00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:03,079
sharply together on the tip of his
tongue, which was in consequence. It's

313
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:07,400
no use speaking, said the hot
temper gentleman, driving his hand through his

314
00:29:07,519 --> 00:29:12,799
hair. Children are like dogs,
They are very good judges of their real

315
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:18,200
friends. Harry did not like the
hot temper gentleman a bit the less,

316
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:23,440
because he was obliged to respect and
obey him, and all the children welcomed

317
00:29:23,519 --> 00:29:29,359
him boisterously when he arrived that Christmas, which we have spoken of in connection

318
00:29:29,519 --> 00:29:34,480
with his attack on Snap. It
was on the morning of Christmas Eve that

319
00:29:34,599 --> 00:29:41,799
the China punch bowl was broken.
Mister Scratch had a warm dispute with Missus

320
00:29:41,839 --> 00:29:47,200
Scratch as to whether it had been
kept in a safe place, after which

321
00:29:47,519 --> 00:29:51,960
both had a brisk encounter with the
housemaid, who did not know how it

322
00:29:52,039 --> 00:29:56,440
happened, and she, flouncing down
the back passage, kicked Snap, who

323
00:29:56,519 --> 00:30:00,920
forthwith flew at the gardener as he
wasinging in the horseradish for the beef,

324
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:07,880
who stepped backwards trod upon the cat, who spat and swore and went up

325
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:12,359
the pump with her tail as big
as a fox's brush. To avoid this

326
00:30:12,519 --> 00:30:18,440
domestic scene, the hot tempered gentleman
withdrew to the breakfast room and took up

327
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:23,559
a newspaper. By and by,
Harry and Polly came in, and they

328
00:30:23,599 --> 00:30:30,680
were soon snapping comfortably over their own
affairs in a corner. The hot tempered

329
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,640
gentleman's umber eyes had been looking over
the top of his newspaper at them for

330
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:41,039
some time before he called Harry,
my boy, and Harry came up to

331
00:30:41,119 --> 00:30:48,039
him. Show me your tongue.
Harry said he what for? Said Harry,

332
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:52,319
You're not a doctor. Do as
I tell you, said the hot

333
00:30:52,359 --> 00:30:57,279
tempered gentleman, and as Harry saw
his hand moving, he put his tongue

334
00:30:57,319 --> 00:31:04,200
out with all possible haste. The
hot temper gentleman sighed, ah, he

335
00:31:04,279 --> 00:31:11,200
said, in depressed tones, I
thought, so, Polly, come and

336
00:31:11,279 --> 00:31:15,960
let me look at yours. Polly, who had crept up during this process,

337
00:31:17,079 --> 00:31:22,160
now put out hers. But the
hot tempered gentleman looked gloomier still and

338
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:27,000
shook his head. What is it? Cried both the children, what do

339
00:31:27,039 --> 00:31:32,920
you mean? And they seized the
tips of their tongues in their fingers to

340
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:37,920
feel for themselves. But the hot
tempered gentleman went slowly out of the room

341
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:45,559
without answering, passing his hands through
his hair and saying ah hum, and

342
00:31:45,799 --> 00:31:51,960
nodding with an air of grave foreboding. Just as he crossed the threshold,

343
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:56,279
he turned back and put his head
into the room. Have you ever noticed

344
00:31:56,319 --> 00:32:01,400
that your tongues are growing pointed?
He asked? No, cried the children

345
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:07,200
in alarm. Are they if ever
you find them becoming forked? Said the

346
00:32:07,279 --> 00:32:15,160
gentleman in solemn tones, let me
know, with which he departed, gravely,

347
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:21,480
shaking his head. In the afternoon, the children attacked him again.

348
00:32:22,319 --> 00:32:27,559
Do tell us what's the matter with
our tongues. You were snapping and squabbling

349
00:32:27,799 --> 00:32:34,400
just as usual this morning, said
the hot tempered gentleman. Well we forgot,

350
00:32:34,519 --> 00:32:37,200
said Polly. We don't mean anything, you know, But never mind

351
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,359
that. Now, please tell us
about our tongues. What is going to

352
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:46,279
happen to them? I am very
much afraid, said the hot tempered gentleman,

353
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:52,319
in solemn, measured tones. That
you are both of you fast going

354
00:32:52,440 --> 00:33:00,400
to the dogs, suggested Harry,
who was learned in cant expressions. Dogs,

355
00:33:00,599 --> 00:33:05,160
said the hot temper gentleman, driving
his hands through his hair. Bless

356
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:09,880
your life. No nursing half so
pleasant, that is, unless all dogs

357
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:16,200
were like snap, which mercifully they
are not. No my sad fear is

358
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:24,359
that you are both of you rapidly
going to the snap dragons. And not

359
00:33:24,519 --> 00:33:31,079
another word would the hot tempered gentleman
say on the subject. Christmas Eve,

360
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:38,160
in the course of a few hours, mister and missus Scratch recovered their equanimity.

361
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:44,400
The punch was brewed in a jug
and tasted quite as good as usual.

362
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:50,359
The evening was very lively. There
were a Christmas tree, Yule cakes,

363
00:33:50,559 --> 00:33:55,319
log and candles, firmity and snap
dragon. After supper, when the

364
00:33:55,359 --> 00:34:00,799
company was tired of the tree and
had gained an appetite by the hard exercise

365
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:07,960
of stretching to high branches, blowing
out dangerous tapers, and cutting ribbon and

366
00:34:07,039 --> 00:34:14,599
pack thread in all directions, supper
came with its welcome cakes and firmity in

367
00:34:14,679 --> 00:34:20,400
punch. And when firmity somewhat palled
upon the taste, it must be admitted

368
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:24,800
to boast more sentiment than flavor.
As a Christmas dish, the Yule candles

369
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:30,400
were blown out, and both the
spirits and the paletts of the party were

370
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:37,559
stimulated by the mysterious and pungent pleasures
of snap dragon. Then, as the

371
00:34:37,599 --> 00:34:44,000
hot temper gentleman warmed his coat tails
at the eulog A grim smile stole over

372
00:34:44,079 --> 00:34:49,199
his features as he listened to the
sounds in the room. In the darkness,

373
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:54,239
the blue flames leaped and danced.
The raisins were snapped and snatched from

374
00:34:54,320 --> 00:35:00,639
hand to hand, scattering fragments of
flame hither and thither. The children shouted

375
00:35:00,679 --> 00:35:07,920
as the fiery sweetmeats burnt away the
mawkish taste of the firmity. Mister Scratch

376
00:35:07,039 --> 00:35:13,159
cried that they were spoiling the carpet. Missus Scratch complained that he had spilt

377
00:35:13,199 --> 00:35:19,239
some brandy on her dress. Mister
Scratch retorted that she should not wear dresses

378
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:23,920
so susceptible of damage. In the
family circle, Missus Scratch recalled an old

379
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:29,920
speech of mister Scratch on the subject
of wearing one's nice things for the benefit

380
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:35,880
of one's family, and not reserving
them for visitors. Miss Scratch remembered that

381
00:35:36,039 --> 00:35:42,280
Missus Scratch's excuse for buying that particular
dress when she did not need it was

382
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:47,039
her intention of keeping it for the
next year. The children disputed as to

383
00:35:47,119 --> 00:35:53,800
the credit for courage and the amount
of raisins due to each snap barked furiously

384
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:59,199
at the flames, and the maids
hustled each other for good places in the

385
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:02,960
doorway, and would not have allowed
the manservant to see at all. But

386
00:36:04,119 --> 00:36:08,719
he looked over their heads. Stu
stu at it at it chuckled the hot

387
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:15,360
tempered gentleman in undertones. When he
said this, it seemed as if the

388
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:22,840
voices of mister and missus scratch rose
higher in matrimonial repartee, and the children's

389
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:27,679
squabbles became louder, and the dog
yelped as if he were mad, and

390
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:32,400
the maid's contest was sharper, while
the snap dragon flames leaped up and up,

391
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:38,400
and blue fire flew about the room
like foam. At last, the

392
00:36:38,559 --> 00:36:44,760
raisins were finished, and the flames
were all but out, and the company

393
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:50,639
withdrew to the drawing room. Only
Harry lingered. Come along, Harry,

394
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:54,320
said the hot temper gentleman. Wait
a minute, said Harry. You had

395
00:36:54,400 --> 00:37:00,920
better come, said the gentleman.
Why, said Harry. There's nothing to

396
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:06,519
stop for The raisins are eaten,
the brandy is burnt out. No it's

397
00:37:06,559 --> 00:37:10,880
not, said Harry. Well almost, it would be better if it were

398
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:15,360
quite out. Now come, it's
dangerous for a boy like you to be

399
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:22,559
alone. With the snap dragons to
night Fiddlesticks, said Harry, go your

400
00:37:22,559 --> 00:37:28,320
own way. Then said the hot
temper gentleman, and he bounced out of

401
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:32,599
the room, and Harry was left
alone. He crept up to the table

402
00:37:34,199 --> 00:37:39,840
where one little pale blue flame flickered
in the snap dragon dish. What a

403
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:46,159
pity it should go out, said
Harry. At this moment the brandy bottle

404
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:52,559
on the sideboard caught his eye.
Just a little war murmured Harry to himself,

405
00:37:53,079 --> 00:37:58,760
and he uncorked the bottle and poured
a little brandy onto the flame.

406
00:38:00,199 --> 00:38:04,440
Now, of course, as soon
as the brandy touched the fire, all

407
00:38:04,559 --> 00:38:07,760
the brandy and the bottle blazed up
at once, and the bottle split to

408
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:13,519
pieces. And it was very fortunate
for Harry that he did not get seriously

409
00:38:13,639 --> 00:38:17,000
hurt. A little of the hot
brandy did get into his eyes and made

410
00:38:17,039 --> 00:38:21,880
them smart, so that he had
to shut them for a few seconds.

411
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:28,199
But when he opened them again,
what a sight he saw. All over

412
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,920
the room the blue flames leaped and
danced as they had leaped and danced in

413
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:38,480
the soup plate with the raisins,
and Harry saw that each successive flame was

414
00:38:38,559 --> 00:38:45,199
the fold in the long body of
a bright blue dragon, which moved like

415
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:49,800
the body of a snake. And
the room was full of these dragons.

416
00:38:51,039 --> 00:38:53,679
In the face, they were like
the dragons one seas, made of very

417
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:59,840
old blue and white china, and
they had forked tongues like the tongues of

418
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:06,719
serpents. They were most beautiful in
color, being sky blue. Lobsters who

419
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:12,119
have just changed their coats are very
handsome, But the violet and indigo of

420
00:39:12,159 --> 00:39:16,800
a lobster's coat is nothing to the
brilliant sky blue of a snap dragon.

421
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:23,639
How they leaped about, they were
forever leaping over each other, like seals

422
00:39:23,639 --> 00:39:29,119
in play. But if it was
play at all with them, it was

423
00:39:29,159 --> 00:39:34,840
of a very rough kind. For
as they jumped, they snapped and barked

424
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:38,119
at each other, and their barking
was like that of the barking canoe in

425
00:39:38,159 --> 00:39:44,320
the zoological gardens. And from time
to time they tore the hair out of

426
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,960
each other's heads with their claws and
scattered it about the floor, and as

427
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:53,039
it dropped it was like the flecks
of flame people shake from their fingers when

428
00:39:53,079 --> 00:40:00,719
they are eating snap dragon raisins.
Harry stood aghast, What fun, said

429
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:06,079
a voice close by him, and
he saw that one of the dragons was

430
00:40:06,159 --> 00:40:10,639
lying near not joining in the game. He had lost one of the forks

431
00:40:10,639 --> 00:40:15,880
of his tongue by accident and could
not bark for a while. I'm glad

432
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:20,079
you think it funny, said Harry. I don't, that's right, snap

433
00:40:20,119 --> 00:40:23,880
away, sneered the dragon. You're
a perfect treasure. They'll take you in

434
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:30,199
with them the third round. Not
those creatures, cried Harry. Yes,

435
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:35,079
those creatures, And if I hadn't
lost my bark, i'd be the first

436
00:40:35,079 --> 00:40:38,480
to lead you off, said the
dragon. Oh, the game will exactly

437
00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:45,079
suit you. What is it,
please, Harry asked. You better not

438
00:40:45,199 --> 00:40:49,079
say please to the others, said
the dragon, if you don't want to

439
00:40:49,159 --> 00:40:54,119
have all your hair pulled out.
The game is this. You have always

440
00:40:54,159 --> 00:40:59,960
to be jumping over somebody else,
and you must either talk or bark.

441
00:41:00,039 --> 00:41:06,119
If anybody speaks to you, you
must snap in return. I need not

442
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:12,639
explain what snapping is. You know, if any one, by accident gives

443
00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:16,360
a civil answer, a claw full
of hair is torn out of his head

444
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:22,960
to stimulate his brain. Nothing can
be funnier. I daresay it suits you

445
00:41:23,119 --> 00:41:28,320
capitally, said Harry. But I'm
sure, we shouldn't like it. I

446
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:31,119
mean, men and women and children. It wouldn't do for us at all,

447
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:37,440
wouldn't it, said the dragon.
You don't know how many human beings

448
00:41:37,519 --> 00:41:43,400
dance with dragons on Christmas Eve.
If we are kept going in a house

449
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:47,280
till after midnight, we can pull
people out of their beds and take them

450
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:54,039
to dance in Vesuvius, vesuvious,
cried Harry, Yes, Vesuvius. We

451
00:41:54,159 --> 00:42:00,320
came from Italy originally. You know. Our skins are the color of the

452
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:07,039
Bay of Naples. We live on
dried grapes and ardent spirits. We have

453
00:42:07,159 --> 00:42:14,800
glorious fun in the mountains sometimes,
oh what snapping and scratching and tearing delicious.

454
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:20,400
There are times when the scrobbling becomes
too great. A mother mountain won't

455
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:25,039
stand it and spits us all out
and throws cinders after us. But this

456
00:42:25,199 --> 00:42:31,079
is only at times. We had
a charming meeting last year, So many

457
00:42:31,199 --> 00:42:37,679
human beings and how they can snap. It was a choice party, so

458
00:42:38,119 --> 00:42:45,559
very select. We always have plenty
of saucy children and servants, husbands and

459
00:42:45,599 --> 00:42:51,679
wives too, and quite as many
of the former as the latter, if

460
00:42:51,679 --> 00:42:58,280
not more. But besides these,
we had two vestrymen, a country postmaster

461
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:05,079
who devoted his time talents to insulting
the public instead of learning the postal regulations.

462
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:10,519
Three cabmen and two fairs. Two
young shop girls from a Berlin wool

463
00:43:10,599 --> 00:43:16,719
shop in a town where there was
no competition, four commercial travelers, six

464
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:24,960
landladies, six old bailey lawyers,
several widows from almshouses, seven single gentlemen,

465
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:32,199
and nine cats who swore at everything. A dozen sulfur colored screaming cockatoos,

466
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:37,519
a lot of street children from a
town, a pack of mongrel curs

467
00:43:37,519 --> 00:43:44,760
from the colonies who snapped at the
human being's heels. And five elderly ladies

468
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:49,920
in their Sunday bonnets with prayer books
who have been fighting for good seats in

469
00:43:50,079 --> 00:43:54,880
church. Dear me, said Harry. If you can find nothing sharper to

470
00:43:54,960 --> 00:44:00,199
say than dear me said the dragon, you will fare badly. I can

471
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:06,320
tell you why. I thought you'd
a sharp tongue, but it's not forked

472
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:09,039
yet. I see here. They
are, however, off with you,

473
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:16,280
and if you value your curls,
snap, And before Harry could reply,

474
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:22,599
the snap dragons came on with their
third round, and as they passed,

475
00:44:22,639 --> 00:44:28,320
they swept Harry with them. He
shuddered as he looked at his companions.

476
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:35,039
They were as transparent as shrimps,
but of this lovely ceruleum blue. And

477
00:44:35,119 --> 00:44:40,000
as they leaped they barked half half, like barking gnoos. And when they

478
00:44:40,079 --> 00:44:45,000
leaped, Harry had to leap with
them. Besides barking, they snapped and

479
00:44:45,159 --> 00:44:52,400
wrangled with each other, and in
this Harry must join. Also pleasant,

480
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:55,880
isn't it? Said one of the
blue dragons. Not at all, snapped

481
00:44:55,880 --> 00:45:01,679
Harry. At your bad taste,
snapped the blue No, it's not snapped

482
00:45:01,679 --> 00:45:07,239
Harry. Then it's pride and perverseness. You want your hair combing? Oh

483
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:14,760
please don't, shrieked Harry forgetting himself
on which the dragon clawed a handful of

484
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:19,440
hair out of his head, and
Harry screamed, and the blue dragons barked

485
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:23,880
and danced. That major hair curled, isn't it, asked another dragon,

486
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:30,119
leaping over Harry. That's no business
of yours. Harry snapped as well as

487
00:45:30,119 --> 00:45:37,039
he could for crying. It's more
my pleasure than business, retorted the dragon.

488
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:42,920
Keep it to yourself, then snapped
Harry, I mean to share it

489
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,920
with you when I get hold of
your hair, snapped the dragon. Wait

490
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:51,440
till you get the chance, Harry
snapped, with desperate presence of mind.

491
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:57,840
Do you know whom you're talking to? Roared the dragon, and he opened

492
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:02,000
his mouth from ear to ear and
shot out his forked tongue in Harry's face.

493
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:07,000
And the boy was so frightened that
he forgot to snap, and cried,

494
00:46:07,039 --> 00:46:13,840
piteously, Oh, I beg your
pardon, please don't, On which

495
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:19,239
the blue dragon clawed another handful of
hair out of his head, and all

496
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:24,440
the dragons barked as before. How
long the dreadful game went on. Harry

497
00:46:24,559 --> 00:46:30,880
never exactly knew well practiced as he
was in snapping in the nursery. He

498
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:36,639
often failed to think of a retort, and paid for his unreadiness by the

499
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:42,320
loss of his hair. Oh,
how foolish and wearisome. All this rudeness

500
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:46,039
and snapping now seemed to him.
But on he had to go, wondering

501
00:46:46,159 --> 00:46:51,159
all the time how near it was
to twelve o'clock, and whether the snap

502
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:57,840
dragons would stay till midnight and take
him with them to Vesuvius. At last,

503
00:46:58,079 --> 00:47:01,239
to his joy, it became evident
that the brandy was coming to an

504
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:07,559
end. The dragons moved slower,
they could not leap so high, and

505
00:47:07,679 --> 00:47:13,679
at last, one after another they
began to go out. Oh if they

506
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:19,239
only all of them get away before
twelve, thought poor Harry. At last

507
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:23,480
there was only one. He and
Harry jumped about and snapped and barked,

508
00:47:24,159 --> 00:47:29,800
and Harry was thinking with joy that
he was the last, when the clock

509
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:34,480
in the hall gave that whirring sound
which some clocks do before they strike,

510
00:47:35,199 --> 00:47:40,199
as if it was clearing its throat. Oh please go, screamed Harry in

511
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:46,639
despair. The blue dragon leaped up
and took such a claw full of hair

512
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:51,679
out of the boy's head that it
seemed as if part of the skin went

513
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:57,360
too. But that leap was his
last. He went out at once,

514
00:47:58,039 --> 00:48:04,119
vanishing before the first of twelve,
and Harry was left on his face on

515
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:09,960
the floor in the darkness conclusion.
When his friends found him, there was

516
00:48:10,079 --> 00:48:15,000
blood on his forehead. Harry thought
it was where the dragon applawed him,

517
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:21,480
but they said it was a cut
from a fragment of the broken brandy bottle.

518
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:28,599
The dragons had disappeared as completely as
the brandy. Harry was cured of

519
00:48:28,679 --> 00:48:32,760
snapping. He had had quite enough
of it for a lifetime, and the

520
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:39,440
catch contradictions of the household now made
him shudder. Polly had not had the

521
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:45,679
benefit of his experiences, yet she
improved also. In the first place,

522
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:52,840
snapping, like other kinds of quarreling, requires two parties to it, and

523
00:48:52,079 --> 00:48:58,320
Harry would never be a party to
snapping any more. And when he gave

524
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:04,719
civil and kind answers to Polly's smart
speeches, she felt ashamed of herself and

525
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:09,519
did not repeat them. In the
second place, she heard about the snap

526
00:49:09,599 --> 00:49:15,519
dragons. Harry told her all about
it, and to the hot tempered gentleman.

527
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:22,039
Now do you think it's true,
Polly asked the hot tempered gentleman.

528
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:30,320
Umh said, he driving his hands
through his hair. You know I warned

529
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:38,119
you you were going to the snap
dragons. Harry and Polly snubbed the little

530
00:49:38,159 --> 00:49:45,800
ones when they snapped, and utterly
discountenanced snapping in the nursery. The example

531
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:52,599
and admonitions of elder children are a
powerful instrument of nursery discipline, and before

532
00:49:52,639 --> 00:49:59,239
long there was not a sharp tongue
amongst all the little scratches. But I

533
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:02,800
doubt of the parents were ever cured. I don't know if they heard the

534
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:07,960
story. Besides, old habits are
not easily cured when one is old.

535
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:15,719
I fear mister and Missus Scratch have
yet got to dance with the dragons.

536
00:50:17,119 --> 00:50:21,760
End of Snap Dragons by J.
H. Ewing