Can capital by big pit vibes in the bell? Now, what is going
on? Everybody? How? How were you all today? Man? Was
can I get it? Managing? You're right? Ad time? I hate
you really, dude? Look how you feel like life with you allowing you
to be the whoa, that's insane. That's real love. No, it's
not what it is. Man, Man, that's real love. Somebody's gonna
tell you. Just give my brother this. Yeah, it's the last day
of black history, though it's accident every four years. I think it's John
Ru's birthday too. That's the funniest ship. Why do you remember because he
was born on the leaper? How do you not remember that? I don't
care about y'all. I guess that's some It's very unusefulized informations as unuseful as
fun a question jeopardy super random? Who's born on leaper? What is genre
or who is genal? We don't We don't got the right lin. Yeah,
I gotta make sure my defense to take care of you want to get
up and adjust the life of h Yeah, okay, the light coming,
I mean, but your people will be really vain in real life, but
humble on the internet. You oh not, okay, we're not going there.
I'm not. Let me tell you something. I agreed to do this,
but have no, you don't think you have pretty privilege, know what
I'm saying? Thank you please? Ad minute? Do you feel like you
got pretty privilege? Why so you don't think niggas are nice to you because
you're pretty? Like I think there are there are regular human beings who were
just out of the kindness that they are. Like if I saw you,
I would open the door because I'm a nice guy. But then there're some
dudes like, damn, she beautiful and she's thick. Watched me all the
door so I can watch your walk through the door. There niggas that do
that. That just that. Just me and my friends. We was trying
to get this parking spot downtown and we was all dressed up as a car
full of beautiful women. And this dude like, we was going like this
for this parking spot, and I rolled my window down. I said,
come on, brother, it's a car full of beautiful women. You can
let us have this park He's like, y'all, look at y'all Prettytorting this
ship out of the niggas made this night a little bit as a gentleman.
No, he got extorted, he lost, he didn't have no whill power.
Man, you already know how I feel. Our men are protectors.
So in a scenario like that, I think that's what our men should do.
Yeah, let her have the parking, right, I mean, if
they're attractive to you or not, Yes, there you go. You know
my belief system. To me, you're beautiful because you're beautiful on the inside.
Your inside matches your outer. You're right, she is gorgeous, voice,
gorgeous. But I just want to mention John Brews birthday is today,
My birthday tomorrow. Thank you, thank you. I do like I saw
him and him and a curious everybody was a shouting too. She made it
though. I would pay good money. Justicee you cut loose like one time
where I keep saying that, like one good time, like come on,
it's me, how long you been? How long you been knowing me?
Shall it's me, It's Wane, right, it's wan. Just just be
like these niggas one time, just one time, just one time. I'm
saying, like, man, I'm there, right, I used to go
to place I can't play pool, so I'll be are you trying to get
lose all my little you be giving our lesson. You're a baby pool.
You begetting them to because you look innocent. You got you gotta lose.
You walking around with the construa. We're here talking about apparently we're here to
talk about love and what is it? You guys know what love is and
what's the definition of love? Know's gonna start? I tell her, I
don't know why y'all keep asking me to. I'll give because even though the
first the first tour, we gave him a textbook definition. But now that
we're like three years older than we were before, that definition of change.
Okay, what we want what makes us love? Love is different, like
love to me could just be like, hey, when I come home,
shut the fuck up, shut out, I want to be quiet. I
want to talk to me. I want you to know about your dad.
I want to know what was going on. I want to know what's making
you feel the way you feel that way when we go to bed. I
know about you. I'm cool with that. I like that. I'm more
about intimacy, Okay, I'm the kind of person we can sit here and
watch Abvid Elementary while your leg and thrown across my leg and running your feet
while we're watching this ships on as hell even better act of service. I'm
glad you said that because probably were supposed to want off. Yeah we should,
thinking that whatever number one is the only one we supposed to care about
all plus one more right? And I like everything, man like I like
just because gift given from me, it's not my first one, it's this.
I still don't like you, right, I still wants I recently just
told her check I wouldn't dare because she told me she wouldn't buy me a
pair of shoes, your shoes. I don't know if I felt bad,
but I like, that's what I stood on that ship though, like I
meant it like I meant it, by something like you know what you listen
to a degree, that's true. But again, hold on, listen.
I am a shoe kind of shuit. But just because you don't, you
don't gotta buy me the hype ship because that I'm not waiting for. But
if you like, all right, babe, I'm going out of town such
and such a go to Tennessee. There's a mall every fucking work. And
if you in the mall with your homies. You be like damn Bay like
air Max and he don't got this color, or at least I've never seen
him put it on. And you bring me a pair of air Max that's
cool. Now, if you bring me a pair of Migo Mikes, you
gotta put your hands, you have to put yes, and they come back
with some six rings a divorce. You're not married. I would definitely be
mad at you because that mean you're not paying attention. Like like, if
you see what I wear and you've never seen me wear this kind of shoe,
why would you buy it? Budget couldn't afford her money? My money?
She got money? You noting to hand over the credit card if we
if we like, if we liked that, if we locked in, yeah,
credit score with somebody that ain't got a ring on their finger with you.
If we locked in, we locked them. Bro, I'm a nice
guy, that nice guy. But if you, if you really my girl,
if we locked in like that, why wouldn't I Why wouldn't I do
that for you? Ship that mas You just went on the head and the
bucket and so Carolina Jets. She went out and copped you a couple of
shirts and a matchic pair of shorts. Are you cool with that? Then
you should have said I'm not gonna buy your shoes. But I met your
fly up. She wasn't trying to do none of that, just a lack
of effort. But I just didn't know if I should have felt bad because
I was like, you don't buy shoes? I can't. She was just
like, I'm never gonna do that, right. I was like, like,
I asked you for a two hundred dollars pair of shoes? What's that
to a nigga who is willing to give you the fucking world? Because I
just know the type of nigga I am like, what you don't know that?
When I'm she should did she know that it's a lot of variable?
Well, it ain't. It ain't. It ain't for her to know that.
But the man is supposed to lead, so you have to know what
I'm saying, is this chick I said it to like I'm not even interested
in her like that, And she was just you know, asked a general
question, and like from the conversations we had, I see how you talk
about and you you one of them females that like stand up. I ain't
doing it for a nigga, bro, If you gonna be like that,
then what kind of what kind of relationships is gonna do? Right? If
I'm like a two pair of shoes ain't shipped, but you're eventually gonna ask
for a house, and all I wanted was a pair of jays and you
asked me for a house. You asked for my last name, but I
couldn't get a pair of tentiones. So you so far, you're describing the
way someone loves you as someone who considers you, attention to you, and
has a level of trust in you. But of course it's the man.
Y'all have to y'all have to lead the way I'm gonna teach my girlfriend how
I'm gonna teach my girlfriend how to roll. I know that sounds like some
weirdose ship and it sounds wow, that's like I don't know. I said
very clear expectations about and I expect reciprocation. But I make that clear.
I'm a I'm a super communicator because I feel like I know all the words,
so I use them, say these words. I know you big words.
You want the emotional intelligence, niggas, And then it didn't get It
didn't get one may be like I don't, I don't know. This is
what I asked, Bro, I asked all the question are all of y'all
single? H Well, I mean why are y'all single? And I won't
ask no more questions, I promise because the show show I'm just curious y'all,
and we still technically then explain. Yeah, so maybe why you're single
and then your definition of love if you want. I don't think I'm interested
in dating Loky. What got you to that? Like it just like out
here that it got you to that point where you're no longer it's just the
process of doing it, like it get repetitive, like just when you realize
all the small talk you really make with a woman before y'all can get into
them conversations, that's the ship. That is, what's your favorite color?
What you like to do? That shit nasty you do. But it's like,
so in January, I was asking to check what's our favorite because I'm
the type of nigga like if I like you and I give you, you
know, I'm a singular kind of guy. I don't really be like that.
So I'm talking to one person. But then again, when you're doing
it multiple people. That's just crazy. How to ask three people in the
course of a week, what's your favorite color? That's disgusting? Work?
Brother, Like, you can find that out organically. A lot of purple
your house, Right, it's just like the small talking again to know people
that should get on your nerves and tell and then I like and with being
uninterested, you look interest fast. So like we went jamming for a week
and then two days of silence, I was like, all right, I'm
off there. Let me find something else to do. I'd rather play Xbox.
So it's been a pattern. It's been a pattern. I try not
to waste people of time. I try not to stay away from some people.
That's the wisdom. Can you put some the maturity that grows, Like
when I tell people I be chilling, that's what the fuck I mean?
Like I go to work, I come home, play my guy, smoke
with me off to myself. I don't you just want a woman that's in
alignment with you know, I just said, I'm I'm gonna teach my girlfriend
how to roll blots. I'm sure what this little white button right here when
you hit it and make a beat big and then the TV glows I'm gonna
show you how to roll the Dutch so that way when I come over,
when I get here, all of this is ready. Let me have twenty
to thirty minutes of this silence. Anything you want to say, what you
want to do. Ah, you give me thirty minutes. That's fair,
Okay, I'm not asking no questions. Go hand, that's what you So?
Why am I single? Because you didn't want call back? They won't
here for that part they were here for. They like, what is he
sayingext I don't. I don't think I have a singular reason. I just
haven't found anybody that's in alignment. I'm very self I'm a very self aware
person, and I think a lot of men that I encounter can't handle that.
They don't know what to do with that. Maybe I have and I
posted about this. I have no interest in dealing with anyone that has is
not engaging in his healing work. So that eliminates a big pool drop a
ball for you, motherfucker. All right, man, go get some therapy,
Man, go get a hud. But you come talk to me.
That eliminates a lot of the data for me. Because I'm very far in
my healing working in my journey, and I don't think any of us are
gonna come to the table fully healed. That's just not a thing like right,
But I need to know that you that you're at least willing to work
and engage because like we all have been through things, which also then in
turn how you were saying earlier about like just having an emotionally intelligent male.
So I think it's like a culmination of things. While I'm single, I'm
just not willing to settle. I'm not desperate, so I'm not gonna just
take whatever just to say that I have somebody. It's not that deep to
me. I actually enjoy my loan. I enjoyed my solitude. So at
this space, at almost forty year old, trainer who it's hard to say
it's forty, I'm at the face of if your presence doesn't feel as good
as my piece, baby, you can't be here. Yeah, you need
a king, that's simple. You can't be here. Uh So, as
you were, you were saying like that, the small talk, I don't
do with some of that. We could be on the first and I'd be
like, so tell me about your childhood. But that's necessary and if they
can't talk about their childhood. There's no day too. It's a lot,
I could, I could say a lot because also I'm not interested in surface
level. Yeah, I don't want nothing surface level. Shot like I need
depth. And that's hard to that's hard to find. It's hard to get.
So I'm like, I'm not gonna setle them, so I find find
And that's a real beautiful grown woman. The fact that she cares about your
childhood. It's a lot of women out here the only care about your pockets,
only care about where you work and stuff like that. She cares about
your core. And someone that's going to nurture your core. Bring a lot
of these men, anybody got time? A lot of these men out here,
you know, instead of doing the work to heal, they shut down.
And we don't want child to shut down as men. We we we're
you know, good women, real women. We're okay with you not being
all the way there. You know, as long as you're willing to like
like this beautiful plane, said Trina, Ta Trina, as long as you
know, like Trina said, as long as a man is willing to do
the work, you know, and I have run into that will get so
far, or they'll they'll say like, oh, I've gone to therapy,
but did you Okay, you went to therapy, great, but were you
even honest with the therapist, because that be it's like, you can go,
but are you really engaging in the work. What does your shadow work
look like? What does it look like healing your inner child? I actually
just do what he was saying, like he was doing something and I was
like, oh my gosh, your inner child must be so happy. Was
just like what I just don't know about the inner child? You know about
yours? Well, absolutely child, outer child right now that day. I
won't lie to tell you. I won't lie to you my inner child.
We've been working because you got a lot of trauma that we have to unpack.
Were good, we we better? We ain't good? We better?
What's like to hear a man say that, I'm like, okay, good
because you're not going to come to that. And then, especially because a
lot of women, we are further ahead in that journey, let's just call
thing like more man. I'm excited and happy to see them engaging in self
care, self love and therapy and stuff. But y'all just kind of getting
there where some of us have already been doing that, so now we're not
going to be equally yoked in that. But as long as you're willing to
engage in it, then I'm willing to be open. Like, Okay,
I see you, I see you. And I told my oldest son gonna
be twenty one this year. God, damn damn. It's not okay,
y'all. Y'all gotta understand. I have known her for a minute and when
me and her first mate saying was just in middle school, so now for
him to be twenty on men, we had a congress, We had a
conversation. Hits you gotta remember one. It hits me when people who are
my age are starting to celebrate the birthday grandkids. Wow, I'm just I'm
happy that my oldest is going to middle school. Okay. I felt like
I got hit with some old lines night and oh me say, it's also
assessed that how his trauma can affect you. And that's where we are selfish,
you know. No, No, I'm actually proud of a lot of
women right now because a lot of y'all are no longer accepting potential as a
reason to give somebody a chance. Y'all got to not only have potential,
but you gotta at least have the platform or what you plan doing with this
potential to even be considered for a first or second date. And that was
a lot of y'all mistakes to I sit back and I watch it, but
he has this, and he can do this, and he can do that,
and then he's on the couch with a million dollars in gt ah.
That's all definitely definitely try to mold the potential word. I feel like we
can fix him if I love him enough, it'll just you know, But
you can't. You don't, like you said, if they're not they're not
intube the inner child and working on that. You can't fix the house that
got too many holes in it. My house and they're talking about that foundation
in the house. And I hate this term the whole bring what you bring
to the table, but but you do. You have to come like you
gott at least come at at this age because because what kind of because what
kind of though? What kind of table are you? Women? A lot
of women, because I see these things on they just be like hold on,
like they like what you bring to the table. And I'd be like,
that's interesting, But what kind of table are you? You know what
I'm saying, what if? What if? What if you're the table to
table? What if you're the kind of table that you need to be propped
up with a book? So you're asking me what I'm bringing, and what
I'm bringing is heavier than this table that you got. So I need to
bring what I need to put on the table and a book to prop your
unstableiss up. Yeah, check book. You know what I'm saying, Like,
who just want to know where we bring it to the table. We
don't know what kind of table I hate? I hate that person, you
know what I'm saying. As far as like you gotta come, I'm not
here, I'm not dating under I'm gonna keep it going backward. I bring,
I bring Netflix and I'm keeping I got I got snacks to ship.
You got Netflix and snacks and ding dongs and I'm a great cuddler. I
listened to all that sounds great, but at this big old age like I'm
trying to build, So it's like you're gonna come and cast what you want
to watch. You gotta come with a four on one K you gotta be
that's my guy. I'm trying to get primary care doctor. I'm trying to
give list no bullship. I've seen that pop up on my timeline. Was
like, I understand you like this, but do you know who your primary
caregiver is? When I tell you? That was probably the most quietest post
I ever seen, because it's real. Can we log into your my chart?
Yo? But it's real ship though, because like I look at it
like I'm thirty five, and then I look at the questions and the conversations
that I have with women now versus what I was talking to bitches about when
I was like eighteen nineteen. Right, you've got chill, bro. We
don't love to bitches and hoes. I'm trying to get that up well,
like versus I'm just saying so long. My sister said, I'm a marble
table. I'm hard to break and strong and I can hold my own.
That's right, that's a bar that shirt. I think about the because he's
been waiting pay go ahead, she asked the question, I ain't met him
yet, Okay, your turn. I had a it's hard to follow that,
she said, And I ain't met him yet. That's like going to
prices, right, and say two thousand and one because the person before you
said two thousands? Why am I single? I mean, I don't be
doing nothing? Are you actually a good dude? Johnny? You check a
lot of boxes. Crazy. The fact that you got on sweats got on
sweats today threw me the funk off because you he's normally a well dressed,
well kept gentleman. Naturally he comes in suiting, ties, prestige, he
got manners. He's what women want when they create a create a man.
So now I have a question, man, I feel, which is why
Johnny got it like here. So my question I have to ask this for
in that position for you, what type of women are you running into?
Because to me, a man does a man does the choosing. Of course
a woman chooses as well, but I'm all about a man being a leader
in my life. So as a man that would choose his spouse, there's
so many women out here they will look at you as a good man.
What type of women are you running into? So? Okay, So,
like you said, I'm thirty seven, so I'm moving towards for you.
I read thirty seven thirty seven, but you know I'm moving that for me
like you said, you're building out of built, So I don't want somebody
that's building to be too too. I mean that sounds but it's sometimes it's
just really the truth. Like I don't want somebody I have to because generally
if she's building, she wants to use my resources to build. Right,
it ain't nothing wrong with that. But I really like you. And sometimes
they be wanting that ship like the third day you met him. But you
know what I'm saying. Sometimes the third message all to sit between each other.
It'll be like, oh, hey, I help I need can you
help me? Can you? And that's fine, Like and if you ain't
got an operations, you need to comedies. That's what I'm a financial advisor.
That's what I do. But that's part of what I do. Let
me put it like that. But I just tell people all the time,
like there's a lot of important things that we haven't learned. And then you
need to be willing to learn that, right, Like you said, man
to be he has to have gone to therapy. You have to really work
on themselves. I did all that. I did that. I did that
when I was twenty five, so this is a long time. I did
it before the women was doing that. So there's a lot of things that
if you're talking about being equally open and stuff like that, it is hard
to find. And I'm not the ship. It's just and I'm not saying
I'm insali. I don't know, but I'm just saying, like I'm a
regularly dude. But it's just be crazy to me. Sometimes I'd be like,
that's that's not it that some people a lot of people overvalue themselves,
said, I must say, had to really self aware person too, So
like, and I've been through I have some very unique experiences in life and
things I've been through that nobody else has or nobody that I know. So
that's some stuff that it's unique to me. But you gotta work fast,
you gotta work through it. You have to level up yourself. And it's
wild to me how many people are broken and unhealed and fucked up and they
be like, hey, come join in, bring it's a yeah, it's
a paid party. Yeah, stuff like that, Like you're trauma bonding sick.
That's so sick. People got marble tabletops and rotted wood legs, you
know what I'm I mean? Looking like you look good up here, right?
You like like you just gotta I feel like a lot of people don't
have all their bases covered, and then what you are you trying to get
in to it and all mine ain't even cover. But when you try to
get into it, they're not even willing to have the conversation, particularly with
women. You're looking like women that's willing to learn what she doesn't know.
Yeah, a lot of us struggle and I'm not and I'm not I'm not
a the way I can communicate and talk to people. I'm never you know,
I don't talk down to anybody. I don't degrade anybody. I don't
disrespect anybody. But it's really hard. It's really hard to challenge somebody's self
image hmm, particularly when it's a woman, because it becomes an emotional thing.
They're not a logical thing. This this is tangible. This is and
how you feel about it as a relevant Like I told the woman I was
dating for like six months, I said, you need to get your credit
score up because if you you talk about marriage and you're not gonna bring my
ship down. I'm not for I've worked hard for a long time and there's
people got all my ass about that that's that's crazy. Why would you just
like because I have earned out my seven seventy that's crazy. Man, Man
together, if I'm not quite there and you and you, I can learn
from you, that's very attractive about you. I love a man I can
learn from see me. I believe a man is supposed to lift a woman
up. Absolutely. I want to look up to my man. So for
me, that's what's going to happen for me. But clearly there was something
else lacking where you didn't feel the desire to continue to pour into that woman,
or you didn't see the potential because at the end of the day,
you don't have to do it there. Vulnerability is very attractive, and pride
is not to be like, hey, we needed this is what you want.
You told me you want to do this. Yeah, this is how
you get there, get there. I'm not doing none of that. Ship
okay, marriage, So a lot of us not just a lot of us
moving, and it's like and that gets in the way of a lot of
things. I had a man called me. He said that he was like,
he was like, you moved so much your egos But I was like,
oh wait a minute, he might be right. Yeah, probably not
what he said. I was like, can I can kind of see how
you say? That's sure you're going on thirty wouldn't have said the same thing
though, right see, you know what I'm saying. So there's a lot
of shitty time. I'm trying to ask them question because you said ego.
He was talking about your ego? Was it your ego? Was it a
protective mechanism? You know what? Did you really examine that and identify what
it was? I can't even remember what happened. I just remember being I
was a lot of time for a woman. Indeed, like a lot of
times for a woman. It's just our protective mechanism. I'm very guarded,
and a lot of a lot of men move around with that. I'll be
like, I see through it, like because I am a man too,
Like I know, I know the fasage you're putting up. I mean,
you do need it, you do need your a little bit. I'm not
abandon it, but you know, but like my guard is up very high.
That's another thing, Like I'm not willing to let it come down too
far. So this is my thing. We talked about this two years ago
when I was here last time, My other thing is like people and I
I say men, but I feel like people women do this too. People
show up as they representative and that's my other thing. While that guard don't
come down to fact, I literally be like, hm, this is cute,
and I like all the things in it's first like three months, I
need to see who you let it starts to unravel in like three months.
That's who I want to meet and see and talk to and like, because
it's like you're trying to impress each other and like people just don't show up
as their true, authentic selves and I think that's where that's where people struggle.
So like I'm self aware and like I'm like, I'm not I'm not
going to show up as anything other than training. Like who what you see
is what you get. I'm not seeing. You're like trying to be something
that I'm not. Like, I've been through a lot of ship. This
is where I'm at. Either meet me where I'm at, or you can
keep it moving. It's really a solution to that because there's so many people
in the world, you know, we definitely want to date. What's the
solution to that? My answer would be time, Like we just you just
have to give a time, like letting the guard down, to get to
know that person, see who that person really is. When they're wag,
don't got money, you know, whatever it is, it's gonna come out
in those different scenarios. And that's what I always say that though. I'm
like, I need to see you in all seasons. Yeah, yes,
so all that that cute. Okay, it's cute. Yeah, I like
you and all that, but it's like, I want to see you when
you're mad, when you sad, when you broke, but when you gotta
see when I don't want, I don't want you got and they just yeah,
yeah, I can't. I need to see all that before, you
know. And also I'm one to probably rare. I don't want to get
married. I have no desire for marriage. It's very rare. And and
a lot of men don't like, yeah, do I look like a white?
I don't know why you don't want to be a white? I don't
want to be. Okay, So here's my thing. I'm not I'm not
totally opposed to it, right, I'm leaving a door open. I absolutely
don't want to do this. I just don't have a desire to do it
because from Number one, I haven't seen enough healthy examples of it that makes
me want to do it. Everything that I've seen, I'm like, y'all
keep that I'm good. Number two for women particularly, I feel like marriage
and motherhood is very self sacrificial. I've already I've been helping take care of
people since i was ten years old. I'm the oldest of my family,
so I have younger siblings. Then I messed around and had a baby when
I was eighteen, moved out when I was nineteen with their dad. We
have more kids, so I've kind of done a lot of that area taking
care of other people. So now I'm in a space my kids are older
that I'm like, dang, what does it look like for Trina to just
do training? I don't know what that looks or feels like, so I
don't really have a desire to do that. I have a desire for partnership.
I just don't think it has to look like what everybody else is.
But that that's the one thing about marriage, and a lot of people get
confused. Marriage doesn't look the same for everybody either, because you you might
get prime example, you hear about people who've been married two, three,
four times, and we're like, Bro, you don't seem to get it
right. Why do you keep getting married? Because every single marriage is different
for him. So you in the greatest age of the forties right now,
you may fit me the man to be like, you know what, I
want partnership with you. But because I got these as when I'm out of
here, I don't want you to be without. Yeah, so that marriage
could be more so long term stability, you know, because at the end
of the day, marriage is really more financial. It's a business. So
if you're already doing the partnership, the love we're together, let's just go
ahead and slap the business. And I'm open to that. I just I'm
not in a rush to do it. I don't really have a desire to
do it, but I'm not totally closed off to it. It just has
it would have to look and feel good for us. Like my biggest thing,
I always say, do what feels good to your spirit and yourself.
I'm not really interested. I've never I'm a very free spirited, out the
box type of person. I'm not interested in being in anybody's boxy just be
free. So basically, what you're saying is four years and then he ain't
popped. Question, you ain't tripping. It depends on what we've discussed and
what we've talked about. I always said, if I did get married,
I'm probably going to be an older bride. It probably would be when my
kids are older, just because like then, also, I don't want to
do the Brady Bunch thing. I don't want to. Yeah, I don't
want to now because my kids again, I have twenty year old, fifteen
and a ten year old, Like, I just have no interest in doing
all like I don't want to do. Okay, I got a question.
So when you understand some of the ship that you not gonna be like,
this is what I'm not into. I ain't doing that to do, Like,
are you self aware enough to know that? Like the dating pool kind
of shrinks when you start to pick and choose at what you will want,
you know, deal with, and I think a lot of people will be
I don't want this. But then you get in the regular sized pool looking
for what you want, Like that's not gonna work. You're gonna be subjected
to everybody because you didn't shrink your data. You gotta go, you gotta
I feel like there's nothing wrong what you want right, No, it's not
wrong. I just people don't understand that when you start putting your standards and
boundaries out here, the dating pool shrinks. You're not wrong, for one,
and what you won't. You just gotta understand that your resources get,
you know, very limited when you start being like, all right, six
feet tall. Not everybody in the world is six feet talk. You gotta
make this kind of money. Not everybody got that kind of bad. So,
like, you know, like you went from eighty people to twenty people,
twenty people to ten. Now you only'all five and you don't even like
these vibes. Yeah, I mean, that's that's fair. That's okay.
I just got too perspective, sir. You know what I'm saying. I'm
very stern on what I want. Yeah, you know that's and that's cool.
That's probably because if you're supposed to you figure. I've been dating since
I was fifty sixteen years old. It's like that's gonna come with time.
I'm like, yeah, I'm not gonna deal with this again. I don't
want to do this. It's all experience. Every every encounter to me is
just an experience, and you got to learn from each experience. So these
experiences have gotten me here. I have no desire to do these things.
However, I'm gonna never say never type of person. So if it's a
man that comes in into my life, my biggest thing is safety. I've
never felt safe. I don't even I was just gonna say, I think
for you, it's going to take a man to really convince you and show
you what he can be for you to want those things. Go ahead safe.
No, Yeah, one of my biggest things is safety because and it's
worked out with my therapist that I didn't even realize. She's like, so
I got I keep you say you have not felt safe since you were three
years old. Oh and then no encounter with any man in my life have
I ever felt safe? You know? It's crazy about that, So like
I might in this psychology, right, So these are things Jesus, keep
it in your pains. But these are the things I pick up in conversation.
But when you put that mirror up to a woman and it's it's great
because you're taking from your therapist, But if you took it from the nigga
sitting on the couch with you. It's a problem. Right, What I'm
saying you being sent on the cops together. But I'm just saying like a
lot of women can take that advice or that guidance from an outside source.
If it comes from inside the relationship, though, it's that woman is not
ready for a relationship if she can't take that type of advice because you know
why, she just saw a video or you can't tell me what I can
and came where there's this there's a lot of influence out there called influencers,
right, So like there's a lot of just static and it's hard to see
through, particularly when somebody is standing next to you. You you can't,
they can't. You can't see. What they can see is weird. Like
it comes from outside and you can accept it, but if it comes from
inside, you can't. Are you attracted to a woman that wouldn't see you
as a leader in her, in in the relationship or physically, yes,
everything else, Because there's women that think are pretty. I'd be like,
I like her, and then you get to talking to I'd be like,
she doesn't see you as a leader. That I means she doesn't trust you.
So that's not that's not a relationship. Okay, I'm gonna earn her
trust you be like, okay, I'm trying to try. Yeah, yeah,
because she hasn't done her work and her three year oaming like I can't
trust you, I can't treat you because I've never been able to do that.
And so safety and security stability, like those are main things. So
if somebody comes in. I actually had an experience with a man who said
he's like, I don't think I'm gonna be able to convince you. And
I'm like, oh, okay, did he say it was too much?
He didn't. I've heard that much. I've heard that too, but no,
he didn't say that. But he's like, I'm not here. He's
like, I'm not here to force you. I don't think I'm being able
to convince you. But what I was trying to explain to him, I'm
like, naturally, organically, if things just keep flowing the way, it'll
flow that way. Like once I see that I can trust you and I
can feel safe with you, and I could be myself and I could be
vulnerable, let the guard down. Baby, it's gonna just naturally organically happen.
But people don't like you gotta eliminate themselves. They do. Oh,
I was talking to you with this big ass D sign above your head that
says not saying, not saying. I can see it every time you look
me in my eyes. It just ain't not saying, not saying. No
matter how much I'm showing you that I got you, You're not going nowhere.
I got a grip on this. It just keeps saying, not saying,
not saying. So I'm saying, but that's that's the thing that's got
to be worked out between those two people. I feel I feel like a
lot of people really forget that. It's the only two people in the relationship
is those two people in the relationship, and they have so many again,
they have so many outside forces. Their friend group, their family group,
their social media groups that are all these pieces of input that are skewing their
their outlook on what's going on. I got a friend who's married to his
wife, right, I don't know his wife like that, but I said,
bro, you have to you have to show her security, and you've
got to do it all the goddamn time. So I told him, when
you pay a bill, send her the receipt for a notification because as she's
never felt safe for secure, like because she had to move a lot when
she was a kid. I was like, you told me this, you
don't even really he's not connected and that's cool. Lot a lot of people
can't connect that. This is that's all I do. So like they be
talking, and she she said, like, you know, we used to
move on when I was a kid and all this. I said, so
every every time where you pay the rent, just say a little okay.
So she could say, okay, we're cool for but and eventually hopefully you
don't have to keep doing that. But if you do, just keeping it
it's a minor inconvenience for a major advantage in the relationship. A lot of
people ain't really willing to even make that. A lot of women need reassurance.
A lot of people keep I told her. I told her, I
told her, you got to tell him you love him a lot. You
gotta say it all the time. You can't just you know, I love
him, you know what I'm saying, Like you have to you have to
find out what's joe partner security blanket and provide that to that And a lot
of people miss that because they say they should he should already know already,
or she should know how I feel, or he should have felt it,
or he knew that I. It starts to move into that, and a
lot of people I see people argue all the time, and I'd be like,
man, y'all arguing each other, y'all not even trying to resolve the
issue. Yeah, a lot of people don't realize that it's not me versus
you, it's us versus the problem because everybody got the mentality that I'm the
prize, right, everybody got a lot of people have the bars going on.
It's a bar fest. Like I had to think to tell me,
like, bro, you really the prized? I said, No, I'm
not. The union is the prize that has been needed to be said,
because I am so sick and tired of I'm the prize. I'm the catch.
No, this fucking successful union is that's how you get the fifty year
marriage. And I get old the motherfucking die and I'd be like, oh
what my wife said? Not fuck that bitch, Like it's just it's crazy
to me. And I'd be like, and to me, it's so clear,
like I feel like it's self evident. People don't they don't see that
she walking around like I'm the ship. I'm fine. I get my own
money. I got my own ship going on. My kids is well dressed
and taken care of. I'm the prize and the dude walk around, Yeah,
I got it, bag my nigg I gotta fly the motherfuckers. My
niggas love me. I'm the prize. And it's like, no, neither
one of y'all are. You need to get the fuck out of each other's
way, because y'all you in your own way and then he get it your
way and she get in his way, and y'all gotta get out of the
way and really realize that being together is a prize, that relationship, that
union is the prize. That it's not you the individual, it's y'all as
the human. Yeah. I agree. Yeah, damn, I can't tell
you this check on the prize. That's right said because it sounds good.
I said, That's what I'm saying, just so good. It sounds good
what I'm the pro just you should feel that way. I feel like the
eyes on the prize. A brother, don't don't discount my confidence, sir.
But I was saying too earlier, like a lot of people need reassurance,
and I actually hadn't counted this one guy. He said, he was
like, it's not my He's like, I'm never going to sit here and
give keep giving women reassurance. I was like, what, he's tired.
All of a giant they get thrown at them. That don't mean that they
fulfilled. Like you can smash and dadds when you go home. Trust me,
you still be at home feeling lonely, hold your blanket like yeah,
I'm telling you from personal experience, how much you get. Really, it's
just you go home at the end of the night or whatever and be like
getting done and you're going in the bathroom. You look at yourself in the
mirror like I could, right, I could. I could have played the
game. But there's so many other things like in the moment though, there's
nothing you want more rights, nothing like when when the vibe is vibing and
she's like you're about to get this, I won't that ship. Don't get
me wrong, it's not like I'm here. We go again to have sex,
but it's not like that I want this is what I was here for
when I showed up for tonight. But afterwards you know you thing she or
you know that you go home. I'll be in the car sometimes like damn
could have watched like I just be like this this is it don't feel great
because you know, like you know, you have no intention, don't do
what like you know link situation and it gets olf. I'm like, yeah,
yeah, get tired quickly. I don't don't. I don't want to
do this. People think, oh, that means the sex one good.
That's not the I'm empty inside. I'm right because no matter how much Gucci
you but you can't feel that, you can't feel that whole. That's why
you keep going. I can't this person for they don't they don't care about
me as a person. Like it's just purely I'm like, I'm at work
starting you can't bring me food lunch when you get like, no, I'm
not doing that, but you have a question. So I'm a very like
rigid person. I'm very you know, kind of narrow vision. I'm not
always on a social scene and things like that. I go to work,
I take care of my son. You know what I'm saying. I could
clean all that all that stuff. So I'm not around, I'm not in
these like places to like meet different men. So my therapist recommended to me
to do so. I created a dating I know, right, I created
a dating profile. I'm on day four and I'm ready to be active in
They got it, I don't know. They tell people you do it,
say now get her. My cousin been on and off the story. My
data website is Facebook. I ain't gonna lie to you. So my question
but that that's the best man. I want to know everything, and you're
gonna give me to your life your Facebook profile exactly. So that's the best
way to go to your Facebook profile absolutely and see how you talk all that
good stuff. If I want to continue with you, you gotta stop pretending
that for me. Yeah, I just I don't know. I don't know.
Question to well both of y'all. But for you first, it sounds
like you run into a lot of women who don't listen and you entertain it
because of maybe physical attributes. I'm just are you just say you're running?
Are you running into good women? Are you meeting I've definitely up some good
women or man. Because you're a woman with a good court. Girl,
you're a woman with a good cord, and you're a man, So where
are the Where can the people with the good course like take you? She's
saying all the right thing, but no, both of them. All I'm
hearing is both of y'all got good hairs on y'all shoulders, y'all got good
course, but y'all meet the opposite. This is a tractor. I don't
know for what for my experience, Like I be honest, like half the
time when I end up dating a woman, it's not even intentional. Like
most of the time, I just be like, I want to eat,
but eat the loan. So you want to go with me? Yeah,
okay? And I want to go to the movies. You're trying to go
see a movie? We go together like that. That's That's just how I
am. Like, I don't I would rather do something with someone else than
do it. I feel like I have run into some decent guys, but
they don't be ready. I've definitely I don't want to date you, Okay,
I'm definitely. I'm definitely just because I wasn't always good, you know
what I'm saying. So like there's and I have moment sometimes sometimes sometimes I'll
be like I'm a well rounded scumback I do tend to attract narcissistant, well
round scumback sometimes a trophy. Yeah I got her, And me and my
friends just have this conversation that those men that try to humble you. So
the things that was attractive, Oh she she pretty? Then it was like,
you be doing too much? Why you be posting that? Why are
you posting meself? Like whoa bro? What? Like that's the same stuff
I was doing prior. And then because you're his now, I tend to
attract. And then they also say sometimes you tend to date or track men
like your father, And I'm like, oh I have there's one in particular.
I'm like, this is my dad reincarnated. Holy but I like mamauld
have been marry her. If I met a woman like I could absolutely,
But I feel like it was it was a lesson in that MoMA like wholesome
and ship. I'm just saying, like, are you Mama's boy? I
love my mama. I'm not mam woman with the same value the values that
my oldest son. Actually, I was like because when he said, like
the type of girls that he like, like you like girls like your mama,
But he was like, I want a girl I mean, he's getting
into the dat and stuff which is wild grown. He's grown now, and
he's like I was, he don't my son, He don't do too much
of a kicking in and all that. He by his business. He drives
dump truck. He like he about his business and he like, I don't
want the girl that's our He was like the girls that's for the streets.
Mind He's like, I want to girl that's on her stuff. Like I
am, you want a girl like that? But then I'm glad that's what
he saw and what I couldn't. Still looking for a home, but also
so me and my oldest son was having a similar conversation and I told him,
I said, I'm trying so hard and him I might be a little
because he's already in his twenties, but at least with my little boys,
I'm like, I'm trying so hard to raise young men that women are not
gonna need healing from. Like that's one of my main goals. So I
try to like be open up with emotions. And I never was the type
of mom like boys don't cry. No, you could cry about it,
We're not gonna sit here and keep crying about it. But It's okay to
feel your feelings. Get that out, let's talk about it. My kids,
we just recently had some just major stuff happening in our lives, and
I've been very intentional about checking in with my boys about how they're feeling about
things so that when they do start to get into, you know, dating
and stuff, that they're just aware. That's my biggest concern With my oldest
son. I'm like, I wasn't even I didn't have a capacity as he
we kind of grew up together, right, So I'm like, dang,
like, so now I'm trying to talk through this stuff with him, Like,
I just don't want you to like shut down or not be able to
express yourself. For that's important because a lot of our marmos, especially in
our age, a lot of dopeians holes like literal like prostitution ship. So
there's mama one home and daddy went home at a lot of and even that's
the strength. A lot of our parents worked. So their love, they
their way of showing they loved us materialistic stuff in the n yeah, like
these other responsibilities. This is how I show you love you, And they
never verbally expressed it. So a lot of men did not know what love
looked like even from home. Oh, and don't look like your daddy,
okay, because if your daddy wasn't ship and you look like your daddy,
reminder, And a lot of times you got that, you kind of got
unnecessary backlash at time like here here your mind is struggling trying to keep the
lights on, and you come walk in the house asking like, hey,
can I get a PB and Jay, And she's fast on you because her
actual aim is the fact that your dad decided to go be a fuck nigga
and you just look like him. So a lot of times we didn't have
that opportunity to have that connection with our moms. To really figure out what
love looked like, we had to take it from our grandma. And Grandma
was spread thing as is because by that point in time she was sick of
Granddad' shit, so she's not showing. Then it kind of goes back to
my point earlier when I said about me really not wanting to get married,
because that's what so many of us have seen. I'm like, what about
this? I want to do this, but I what I tend to find
out, But what you tend to find out later on down in life,
and for some a lot of people, they've already made up their mind,
so they don't understand that real happy married people ain't got time to show you
that they really married and happy. So a lot of representations of marriages are
usually either the back end of all the bad shit because social media is notorious,
were just putting negativity out there, Like two days ago, y'all we
happy, loving each other, pillow fighting, having laser tag. But then
today he's forgot to take the trash out and that's what you put on the
internet about him, even though he did everything you needed him to do,
But that one moment is what you decided to tell the world about. So
now those people who looked up to you as that's a relationship that I've seen
grow, Oh yeah, that's why I can't get married all because they only
shows you the negative side of it. Then you get a lot of people
who get divorced and they'll show the victim side of it, but nobody sits
back and take accountability. You what did you also do to get here?
Because yes he cheated on you, and yes some men will do what men
don't do, but some men do what they do because you not doing what
you're doing. So where does your accountability come at in regards to it?
Yes, So I want to go back to what you're saying about the mom
stuff. So another thing is I feel like a lot of moms toddle their
sons, so then we run can and I don't. I try not to
do that. And then also I feel like we run into like men that
can't receive affection because it goes back to their mom, like if they never
seen it or felt it, and a lot of it. I think,
well, I can say for women who might be mad at their dads before
my experience with men like I'm like, bro, you mad at your mom?
I didn't do it. And that's why I do ask about their relationship.
I'll ask you when I said them first day questions, first couple,
I want to know your childhood, what's your relationship with your mom? Like,
I want to see how you handle your mom and the and someone like
man, my mom she is. I'm like, so then because if you're
really mad at her, and then you're gonna and I trigger you in some
way. Yeah. With women, Yeah, and I why some women are
super materialistic because you gotta spoil me, and so much stuff relates back to
our childhood. And but that's where again, where come we're doing that work
comes in because it's like you won't even recognize those things about yourself have if
you're not trying to do some of the work. So I figured out I'm
like because I did end up my kids father is a lot like my dad
in the streets, came out the streets. My dad was a pure gangster
like, so I end up kind of gravitating towards man like my father.
And then I was like, hold on waiting, a little narcissistic running around,
got playing fifty eleven kids, all the kind of goofy yeah, because
you sometimes you don't. You go after what you are familiar with. Lot
to you got eleven or you got fifty. But I'm the oldest of twelve.
But it might be believe pretty much less. It's more than eleven,
but it's less of fifty. It's a lot that's a good man out here.
So I pray that one of those good men good women out here.
So I paid that one of those. I'm thirty seven, I got no
kids. That's why I thought that kids, because I refuse to be he
the unicorns. I refused to remember when Barack Obama was running for president.
Yeah, no tattoos and no baby mama is just yeah, how do you
define I definitely nobody mama, but yeah, I don't want to be young.
But I didn't go into it as the baby mama. I didn't you
see that? And I think that's the difference. There's those situations where like
him, you lay down with him, but you know in the back,
this is not gonna be. That's gonna be long term. And then you
pregnant. I was. I mean I was sixteen, seventeen, you know,
I wasn't thinking about that. But you still you stayed with him.
You know I had more, so you wasn't a baby mama. There was
hope. What it was for me, I was twelve and I decided I'm
not gonna be a baby. I was twelve, and I remember, I
remember the exact direction I say it. When it was between a family member
and his baby mama. That's it doing this, I remember. And then
when I turned old enough to start fucking, I was like, yeah,
I'm not going I'm not getting trapped like this. It's not gonna beat me.
And also then when I got older, I was like, I refuse
to another man raised my child, my children, my child or whatever,
because the nigga's dumb and you cannot. I can't. I can't be trying
to unprogram my child from what this thing was talking about, because like,
I'll be frustrated sometimes, be like I got friends who got kids. I'll
be like, your father is terrible. At least you trying. Were all
like learning as we're going. And what's crazy is a lot of us are
reparenting ourselves or we're reparenting our parents because as we are on a journey and
kind of stopping these generational curses and trauma. Now, I'll be trying to
bring them along to like, hey, this is not what doing. Ain't
nobody gonna ever get it right now? No nobody. You just gotta get
it the best you can because they know ain't no right way to pay it.
You know what I'm saying, Like, is your child? Yeah,
them sales are different. My two kids are polar opposite, so the way
I parent one most the other one, So they different, and all you
can do is hope that you did. I got two girls, so all
I can do is hope that they don't fall in love with a natty headed
ass nigga. Yeah, okay, that's crazy. Me and my oldest and
already have we. I mean, we talk a lot so and I'm glad
that me and my two big boys like we able to have a type of
conversation that they come for to come talk to me because I say this,
like already talking to my oldest son, I was like, listen, you
come around here and talk about baby. I'm not the grandma you. That's
not what you're gonna want to do. I'm not doing it because I just
got this saying I've been taking care of people my whole life. I'm ready
to do me Like, I'm not about take that kid up to her grandma
her mama house. But that's unique to too, because y'all, like I've
talked to a lot of women about like losing their identity they become a mama,
but losing the identity once they become a wife. That is very unique
to women. Men do not go through that ship. Yeah, that's just
the one thing I'm as I'm getting older than from man that that are be
selfish. And I just said that man and not in not saying in a
bad way. But y'all gonna always think about y'all like we don't do that.
We think about everybody else before that. Most men, you're gonna think
about yourself first. You know why though, Right, there's there's there's a
history behind that too. Because if I fall all fall right, I can
see that. But if mama fall, y'all ship fall apart too. Don't
get me wrong, but it's it's just a different type of like if it's
a nigga kicking the door. I got to be defense number one, period,
No questions, ask no nothing, none of that ship. So that's
why you think of That's why I hear you. But billion years we've been,
we've been the number one. We are we are? You said what
we talking about? Two different things. I hear what you're saying, but
I'm saying just in dream man like he's not going too much or just anything
he got going on leadership. Yeah. Selfish, Yeah, But they go
ahead and end though, because he is selfish because the way his mind is
already programmed and wired and what society expects of him, and like that,
it's they it's an underlying cause. Right, Most men are selfish because they
have to be in the position to win. That's that's what the world's gonna
keep telling you forever and ever and ever. To a certainty, he has
tothing I'm not. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about just in
general. Every day men aren't really thinking about himself. You're thinking about himself.
He's not considering for himself, for the family. But every I'm telling
you what you're saying, he's really a family man. I agree with her.
I'm lost. I ain't even gonna lie to you. Your selfish period
regardless. You ain't got nobody to worry about. Definitely be selfish. You
ain't got nothing to worry about, so you are to be self I was
like, is this kind of like I forgot you? Wow? That's that's
that's the kind of that type of learn from y'all. No, I agree
with you, But I agree with you because I had to tell somebody the
other day that being selfish is not a bad thing. You have to be
because a lot of times, and especially women, y'all get put in the
role that you have to be. You gotta take care like kids gotta be
fed, I gotta have this done. You got to take care of something
that your job because you in some time of some type of support status in
regards to it. Not time to tell. Your family leans on you because
you're the strong one out all the kids. You know what I'm saying.
Your friends might come to you because you the only one with common sense in
regards to group. So you will have so much that comes at you every
single day that when you stop and say this is my time. Fuck y'all,
people got to respect it because you need that in order to be able
to continue to deal with all that over there. Now, see what you're
saying, what I would like it to be, No, but we get
with you like it. That's a whole. That's a whole another episode.
What I would like it to be is more so of a competition to please
each other. And that's that's one of my requirements in a relationship because I
know I'm a giver. I know if there's an issue, I'm going to
solve that problem, you know, whatever it is. So I can't be
with the person to partner with a person that's going to take advantage of that.
I cannot do that. Even if I see that you you know,
are willing to take and not give and see that's that's the same thing I
keep working right because I am a problem solving like you come to me like
I don't know how I'm gonna do this. I'm a bastardize some ship,
fix it and really fix it. I just be like you as that man
should be more so looking for women who are like you and kind of like
why you said at the beginning, he expected that woman to just kind of
buy him the shoes and know that he's going to give her the world without
actually showing her that he's going to give it a world. But at the
same time, you've been in a position knowing what you can give, you
really kind of should be in the shadows looking at what she's going to do.
That's almost you shouldn't test a person, but that's kind of what you
should be looking for. You know, how is she going to operate with
me? And then instead of showing her what you can get, watch what
she does first, and then that's your standard operator, like you know,
like change it because it's like changing yourself. I got a question for you.
How much is I am coming to ask no question today? How much
questions? How much is too much changed? Like a lot of change yourself.
I think changing that can be the start of changing yourself. Like,
not everybody user tactics, not yourself. For a man, especially a man
that is able to provide, Like y'all have to protect yourselves, so you
shouldn't be displaying certain things to a woman. Yeah, I'm not a sucker,
of course, I'm saying, watch how she Just watch how she operates.
Just watch how she operates. First, because that's why y'all wanted to
because a lot of them that's what they bring. And listen, I ain't
saying all, but a lot of like that's all they have. They leave
with that because that's all they have. But now you want to get into
some like really intelligent conversation, it's like, bro, and then it was
just gold. That's all you, that's all you. Because this is America.
There's very few problems you can that you can't solve without throwing money.
But these are two women right here that don't look for necessarily a man.
I'm not talking about that. I'm someking about There's very few problems you can't
solve by throwing money at it. If you are about to get put out
your place, I can go pay the rent money solves that problem. If
you are struggling at work and you want to quit your job, go ahead
and quick because money can solve that problem. That's so there's another skill set
that you need to have. And I feel like a lot of like you
said, a lot of men lead with that because they know that's the easiest
way to solve any problem. Is it the easy way to solve a problem
or the easiest way to get a woman? Because that's track Both finances are
never going to Yeah, question why am I here? Is yo? You're
not paying rent? Yeah? Why you're talking to me? That's the thing.
That's that's the question I asked. I'm yeah, exactly like you get
this situation. I'm out. That's somebody texts me that say, no food
my house. How do you get here to judge? Because I'm not in
the best situation like that just better yesterday if you I ain't gonna neither do
I I'm like, what is that me? I probably do need to get
out more Jesus because niggas looking for hand downs. You don't want that kind
of smoke, but you really are. This niggas is poor. I can
tell my good man the money people, So what you're entertaining that that that
would be my entertain just waiting for your king. You you're waiting for your
bow ass to show up to show what to be married. Okay, I
just only know that because my mama, Minister Bro. That's the only reason
I know that I know the whole story because O patiently wait and I'm okay
with that Bible Bibles over there. No, I can't say that if I'm
walking. No, I'm patiently wait. And that's the thing it's like,
because I am patient and I'm okay with being alone, and I've done enough
work on myself that I'm not going to settle. I'm not just this is
question because I know Michelle is comfortable with being alone. You know, Trina
is comfortable with being alone. One just got comfortable with being alone. Johnny
is probably comfortable with being alone. Since you guys are comfortable in your loan
space, does that make it more difficult for anybody to even approach you today?
Absolutely? What did I say before? If your presence don't feel as
good as my piece, you cannot be here and I can say I'll be
do y'all give people fair opportunities. I feel like I don't up a girl
yesterday for not liking the song, because like when you said, you like,
you said, you don't want them to disrupt your peace. But in
order for you to be able to find your mate, you have to allow
them the opportunity. I think when people are long alone for such a long
time, they find anything to be like, it's not gonna work. So
you don't give people a fair chance. Johnny said she didn't like a song
he liked, and now he kissed it to the curve. Maybe that person.
I'm not that like strict about it. Like, but if it's somebody,
it's just I'm just such a thing. You just have to be a
natural, organic thing. It just has to flow. If it's not.
I'm a you know me, I'm an energy person all day. So it's
like if I'm feeling your energy, we catching a vibe, let's just organically,
let's see where I'm fine, Like, let's see where it goes.
I'm not in a rush. And I think that's where a lot of women
come on this timeline, right because I already have kids, I already own
my house. I don't I'm not honest. Timeline of like my clock,
not ticket I'm not looking for it, like I don't need like to do
like I'm so, I'm really in a space of like, no, I
really jenuinely want to get to know you. I'm not looking to feel.
No imaginary timeline that's important, tho, because you know, like some people
like, look, I'm to be thirty, I gotta get married. I
supposed to be married before I thirty. I'm not putting that already. I
was supposed to have my first kid by now. Yeah, I don't have
this imaginary timeline. I don't have that pressure. I'm very much. We
keep hearing about this soft life. I'm creating that for myself. I'm putting
myself in a position to have that like with or without somebody, period.
And I know I haven't had it in so longs. My sister said,
you Baddy for a song. She said, you Saddy, So what was
the song? You wasn't feeling her? He was. You know, It's
like she asked for a ride. I'm like, all right, for a
right where you mean it? They need a ride. They ain't got no
food in I just talk to people not interesting and I'm not interested. Yeah,
that's what it really is. How many women am bad, but think
because they got a pussy, they gonna win me over. Sh That's crazy.
When you really sit back and looking at the life, you're like you
fu Yeah you're not. And I'm work in a bar and the dudes that
be in here doing the most be happy. I'd be like, bro,
come on now, like be all on the I actually had an experience with
this, this dude forty some here. This was a couple of years ago,
so forty something years old. I'm scoring on this Instagram. I'm like,
okay, tell me why we get in it? And this man asked
me. First of all, I was counting my pocket, said, uh,
I know, it's like text time. First of all, already right
there, like oh what actually the hell up and buy a car? I
ain't s I'm like, first of all, baby, I don't know what
type of women you used to do, but I am not Jersey. These
niggas out here asking for my car. Law, you are not aiming high
enough. You're supposed to shoot for the car. And then when you say
no the car, bay, I can't even swim, but can we go
get some k I was like, buy me a parachute? So yeah,
it's man out here today you're bum trying to be on. And then another
thing with me working in the bar, I see a lot of fun.
Bet oh yeah, that'd be my other thing today. And I'm like,
I'm cool on your because hm, well with shout out to the Lord.
Definitely, I definitely I just like them dragson my business. Let me tell
you I might my business. One thing about say the upstairs figures that we
have we have fun allowed each other. So what would y'all say? Some
good places for you to meet people that are more like y'all you know that
are like comic con work, w w S, sneaker Con. I'm asking
for myself because I don't know they're not working and I don't want to come,
but you you gotta catch me. Go meet man at church? But
that might be, but I think that might be. Why not, but
I'm in tears the brother. Do you you think you think you're gonna meet
your mister right inside of the nightclub? And that's point exact. Yeah,
they don't mean but one being funny, but truthfully, for you, Lachelle,
you need to meet you. You need to look for me orient hated
things because one of your biggest wire manumber one is to be in one with
God, so you can't go to places where God is not present. I'm
not going to trust him to leave me, so you need more orientated,
right, I can't take you to ain't your heart? Let me say something.
I like a lot. Tell what you'll see about her time is not
who's not before her? I just like the heart the pictures. I definitely
will one anyway. I just like the heart. We call you. You
don't like I never? I've never. I am a lot because it's therapy.
But like you know, best parties are like I don't enjoy I don't.
I don't like you. A lot of be saying I don't. It's
just it's weird. Let's go ahead a lot to the strip because it's be
honest. It's just like how you're saying I like to go see you,
but you was like I want to go see a movie. I just don't
want to go see a movie alone. I want to eat and then I
just want to I want neative women around. I want neative women around what
I want beautiful women who talk and you know, I don't know, I'm
not my wings. I like do that and enjoy that. Yeah, whatever
you enjoy my girlfriend? Are you really my girlfriend? But that's just you
like, But that's what I'm saying though, Like if I can't, if
I can't take you somewhere that I find to be pleasurable for do we vibe
because you're gonna take me to this bullshit you like as your boyfriend. I
gotta pretend like I like it, that's true. I've been the strawberry fast.
I'm like, I was gonna say probably, I don't know. See
for me, I'm not, Yeah, so I don't. I'm very like
when I keep saying natural organic, I'm very fine with like it just being
like, you gotta put yourself out there so they're not gonna find you if
you want to be found. You like the like networking. I feel like
like like networking even stuff like that, Like listen, y'all attracted to be
very everywhere. Yeah, because some of the biggest at the at the work
that connection niggas at the network. It was funny somebody like, do you
our looks a big You are very visual? You feel like, look like
looks are men are visual beings for me, even women. The way that
I look at someone being attractive is how they treat people about their inner coord
So I mean, I agree, but I'm I'm shallow you listen. I'm
like, look, I'm like you if a little bit when I say,
maybe you're not listen, I'm nothing wrong, There's nothing I want to hear
this. I feel like people always think about I understand that you are a
person that likes to get to know people. Hear me, though, to
hear me, hear me, hear me, king, I don't know how
good your inside is. Whatever your preferences are are your preferences. My preferences
are going to be that in the court. My preferences are going to be
your relationship with God. My preferences are gonna be how you treat me and
how you treat the people around you. Okay, so let me ask you.
So when you're on that app, you not gonna know that so like
you see the picture? I mean no, some I'm saying, so,
like is that so? What would yeah? What would make you like like
like Jesus? And every time they give me their name, I go to
their social media. I see how they listen, and I stop responding on
social media, like to play around. That's what I said. I don't
want people to joine me by my social media because I be on there on
some pure shenanigans. But but I hope that somebody would. I hope somebody
would be that and be like, she likes it, she funny because I'm
hilarious, Like I will hope I like that, have fund I will help
somebody people. But I be on like I don't like that. I just
like that. I just like the pictures. You can't put me in a
box. Bro, there's no box to that. I am a I am.
I'm shallow that I ain't gonna hold you in the box. They're done.
People like you definitely jacket a box. I'm popping out. You should.
People be like, oh, he's so like button up and serious.
I'm returning. But the R word sorry. I really want you to be
able to go one. I'm goofball, bro, like I find like sorry,
and you are in a space. It feels like you're in a very
like heel space, a very mature space. Leave I leave people alone,
cut off. I'm very aware enough to know that right now I'm not none
of that. You gotta catch we chilling now if you want to be in
my space. Cool, but these are the rules and regulations, and this
is good. We're about to wrap this up. I'm gonna hit you out
with one final question. What would it take I got twenty two of them
for that person to get you out your comfort zone, to give them a
chance. I give everybody a chance. Man, that's your problem. That's
you. You can't give everybody chance. How to separate the women from the
whole woman. We have a good heart, you can't love again. I'm
such an energy person that you know, I gotta I gotta like, you
gotta have good energy, good vibe for me. Yeah, that's you.
Gotta have good good, good health. PROP know that, but that he
take care of So that's important to me too. So especially yes, So
I feel like I feel like I am open. I'm not really like looking
right now, but I'm open. So it's like if somebody comes across and
I'm like, okay, I see what you're doing. Like it's hard.
It's hard to answer that because it's like, it's not that I'm closed off
and not willing to give people a chance, but I just have I'm at
where I'm at. So what you're doing this Saturday, let's hop out.
It depends on it. I gotta examine that. Let's go that's your problem.
You can't just keep hopping out with just anybody. Ain't popping out with
just anybody. Let's let's be clear, because a good woman is gonna look
at that and not take you seriously. So because you're just going with anybody,
I'm just once she gets to know your heart, then she might be
like, Okay, if you just here, I don't be I kind of
just want to be on that type of time. I don't that's finely a
serious dat I am. I'm not. I don't know. That's wild as
a dude to be a serial dater because the expectation is for every day.
You are a financial provider for that because a lot of a lot of men
can't be alone. I'm not saying him, but a lot of men can't
be experience I learned from ship. But you gotta if you can make it
to five days, you can have me. You can make it to five
days, because five days it's hard to get to because I can't get two
days. Time. I went on a trick by myself. That's ye.
People keep saying that, right, we walked around this more for the day
by ourself. I want to know by myself and twenty and halfw want to
be around here too long. You don't know about you go down to Atlanta
and I went to Miami. I went to Miami by myself. Anything I
ever heard about Atlanta, it's purely but it is but for me, I
don't like trouble alone A lot of if you want to go, don't be
mistaken as a drug mule. Why you put that on that answer? What
was love? Because we we we come to the realization love move a target
that's not going to be the same for anybody. And it looks like a
lot of women, what's love to you today may not be love to you.
You could have loved kindness. I want a man that's kind You know
what my therapist asked me what I wanted. I want to sit you on
a blind day. But go ahead, keep going. She was like,
I want to blind. Yeah, I want to see a Johnny Tree today.
We got that looks like right now, I'm just saying like a little
hard to get. Actually I got somebody. Actually we just spent the time.
Oh my thing, My thing is this bro Like I don't have a
problem spending time with somebody. Now, I'm not gonna have sextion. No,
but it's just like, you gotta get to five days, and it's
hard to get to five day. You're gonna do for the love of john
you know what I'm saying, it's hard to get to We're gonna do for
the love of Johnny. It's hard to get the five days, That's all
I'm saying. So then she get the five I really like her, and
I found out that I really like her. That first day is just because
he wants Yeah, it'd be that. The second one was like, Okay,
she didn't fuck it up on the first time, Let's see that she
is who she said she was. That third one is like yeah, the
fourth one is like, all right, let's go ahead, feel this deal
real quickly. Five town. Never mind, I don't go He's not definitely
gonna but you might want to funk out. He's just saying if he won't,
he's willing to give it up because five days probably the course of two
months, two days a week. Yeah, it all depends on how so
it might be six months before we get to the second date. I don't
even know. You're not intentional dating, man, Yeah, you want to
go to I ain't never that we just go. That's a whole new level
of border for me to call you gonna volunteer my pockets to you. It's
thirty dollars. I think. I think people are intentional because they don't know
what the difference between dating and they just throw it all the one big bag.
I know the levels of different. It's like if I like you,
though, you're gonna know that. Yeah, I'm gonna be alright once wrap
this up? All right? So you still got a question? Do you
have a question? Because I want to know what you get out? You
know, what when when? When we hit the anybody you can ask Johnny
whatever you want. But let's get let's get through this right, let's get
through this now. What was you saying? Tom? It's time to go
home? All right? So well, what we're gonna do before we go
home? So, like I like to do like random ship in my personal
time. So sometimes I like to sit on my phone and create notes.
So I got like twenty five random questions. I'm right, yeah, what
is? The list is kind of short, so I can only take twenty
two. That's if you guys want to play, you're gonna play a rapid
go ahead, of course, I'm here. You can ask him to.
Usually when I write these my female go ahead. If you feel like there's
a male question you can ask. I said, Oh yeah, I think
my life has disappeared? Are you an only child? All right? What's
your favorite comfort? Snack? Comfort? Like me? I like high fries,
plain las with chips and dips with chips and dip with a PEPSI no
pickle, that's right? Cheese was plain cheesecake? Nope, put no chill
on the one from one A tame Rachel conversation like my skills eight solid.
I'm a digger bro. I can talk about anything. Do you prefer looks
or personality? Personality? I mean personality, but the looks gotta draw me
in. I ain't always I'm a little shallow in that way. You look
good. You look good. It's a pretty thing. We got pretty privilege
ups around track. Bringing the proper personality is attracted to me, then I'll
be attracted to Yeah, what about your personal You said personality first? But
I'm like, you got you got you gotta look at you gotta because then
if we get in it, like you could be attractive in the handout,
no personality. It's like right, and it's like, bro, you have
what if you gonna laugh about the corny joke? I can't funk with you.
You don't laugh on my what's the shoe? You? Thirtee? Grand
gestures are small thoughtful, small thought mm hmmm, oh grand gester TII what's
in your whole bank? My hop like I don't have my makeup, white,
my makeup. I can't care Regie all right, caveat to that same
question. Spend all my stuff that I would need at home. A Jason
question? Jason question, how long until he sees you without your makeup?
How many dates before he's able to see you without your mak oh bare face,
bare face, swimt pants, hand time chilling with no makeup? That's
very Yeah, I don't know. I don't have like a like I'm not
just type like, oh my god, he can't see me. It's just
like when I when we get ready to go out and have my makeup phone.
But then if it's just like a casual like we just sworn to.
Yeah, I don't got no spend of that. You all gotta go.
You don't got to spend the night back, She'll just say she don't got
no place to spend the night at you. You don't keep the Bible in
that moment. Don't got a travel sized Bible? Yes, and a bottle
water with a two friends? You only have new Testaments? Or do you
have the full thing? I respect? All right? You got big parties
or a small gathers? Like a kickback? Kickbacks, kickback a crowd?
Do you know your body count? Yeah? If you don't as favoring fruit,
fruit, fruit, pineapples? Do we just come fast and the grass?
I do? I don't think I care about you, like if you
want to, I like water. But you're a nigga for have you ever
been out of the country. I went to Curesle. What the hell is
that Russia? It's the island and the Caribbean. You want to I've heard,
oh some bad ones in the standard, That's what I saw. A
sh I was at the music Okay you left the country. No, we
didn't know they was there. We were just down there and it was just
like, oh the music festivals, like they're here. It's like a bea
would you day outside your race? I mean I'm mixed. I can't outside.
I would you will know I haven't not anymore. Yes, Tom,
we know why, we know what what happened, the whole story. That's
not for this episode. Do you have a kink? Yes, that's all
we need. That's that's just the questionn't ask you what is your king?
Yeah, you're not having enough sex? Find out I'm not having anything when
you we will come back year old sons. No, no, you had,
But I ask you, are you having enough now to know if you
have a kink? I don't know. I think he just doesn't realize that
you like to be praised. What next question? Off the Yeah, what's
your non sexual attraction to people? Confidence? I like, I guess it's
on the lines of confidence too. Like I'm gonna track it to a man
that speaks well, like a speaker, eloquence, confident, but not arrogant.
I feel like my job in life is to humble arrogant, and that
is why niggas come at you, because you challenges all humble, the humblers.
I'm a humble So it's like a good skin, you good skin?
That's this definitely. I don't know why. I just like maybe I can
see or bad boy hybrid. I would love a hybrid? Can you really
be yes, a nice bad boy? Yes, just like you can do
yes, I like retired, yes exactly. So you like gang members but
they love their mama. No, I like it. I like the man,
like if you a little, I don't mind rough around the edges.
I like street smarts. I ain't saying I want I don't want no gang
like still in the streets type of dude. But like if you if you
yeah, I don't, I don't. I'm not like a judgmental type of
person, so whatever, Like if you that was your past, I'm not
tripping. It depends what you did, though, Like hold on, but
like a little I don't know, I'm a little rough around edges. I
don't mind a little rough round. But how have you grown? Like I
don't want you steal forty in the streets, bro, Like what did you
learn? Did you take that money and flip ft into some legal Like I
wanted to be street smart, but also you know, be able to go
to opened up seven barber shops. But he flipped it and he make us
a legit money. Now, I was all right, that's called criminal enterprise.
That's a fella it is, you know, like I would stay like
you know who I love and y'all you look like her. I love Nixy
Hussey like everyone just like he life what he was doing before. He like,
oh my god, that was that's to me? Like that yeah,
all that good stuff. Who That's what they asked. One next question,
I'll just ask a questions. You're trying to go home. Do you have
a toxic trade yes, the yeah, everybody has the toxic t Yes.
I mean I'll have a nicknamed t T talk to. I think I just
need to be open. I need to be more open. I be distant
sometimes. It was really a yes enough question. I had to get into
depth, but I appreciate it. Damn man said, your real life crazy.
You're sitting there to mother before. Don't have you started learning about fun
here though? You don't make sure he has fun. He's enjoy life.
You're going to be the right. You're like a Christian like it's like the
human embodiment of Christian mingle you are. I am not. Do you prefer
a shower or a bye? That's a good both, he said. You
the bath girls, we met bad bombs and now relaxation. I have taken
a bad years. You living yourself life time. I'm not touching you like
I'm a if you out here with the bath bomb bro, you just shout
off taking myself, might have candles, set the moved, read yourself a
book. You be in the tub like run like the speaker on the window.
And I don't know who the fuck y'all are. That's why when she
said house could be you don't wear e lotion. I don't need to.
I am comfortable. Do you have a type? Yeah? She just really
said it a lot of times. Okay, just like looks like a personal
like you have. I feel like we don't have everybody. Everybody? Yeah,
can you write in curses? Can you write my ship? Kind of
like a blame between Frank and Curse at science time? And I gave up
Ronie or a T shirt and a Bondet T shirt, You too, T
shirt and scarfs. You out here giving away big T shirt, pussy.
I am almost sporting, I too, man, give me something given that
niggas and I'm almost you get it out. This is how we wrap it
up tonight. A question. Just don't wear my boy. I like his
T shirt. She came. She came to the room. Now you're talking
about T shirt. It's not like last question that we can't go. You
guys believe you guys believe in gender. Do you believe in gender roles in
some ways? But not like I don't think. I don't think it's up
to the woman to cook and clean, but you know they do have there's
just some ship. I can't do that. She can, she can't do
that. I don't. I think I don't believe I'm a traditional I'm not
a traditional type of person. That's hard to answer. Now, I want
you to just be a regular human being, Like do what needs to be
done. Yeah, Like nigga, if you were leaving the house before you
left me sleeping, you say that the coverage needs to be taking dropping on
the lay out. If you don't walk past it, don't do what you
gotta do. Come home and be like take the coverage out you left before
me. Now your next to the garage. But but do you wash the
dishes because woke up. If I was in the kitchen and I was cooking,
I'm gonna watch the dishes if you want to cook. What if she
cook last right with the bed, got up on the way out, took
the trash out you woke up later on the Microwaves go on an episode of
Raw See. I feel like as I get older, ship like that.
It was just because to me, that's a childhood trump because you're gonna come
in the house and you're gonna see something ain't done. You gonna yeah,
ship, my mama would do you come in the house and you see something
done, you start yell. You're growing bro, so so so this is
what I'll be trying to explain to you, know, my little bro.
I'm like, look, man, we all still live here with moms,
so let's make life as easy as possible. Because it's three of us in
here. We're all grown as adults. And I feel like, if you
don't want nobody talking to you, and you know what they're gonna talk about
doing about talking to me. So I know if I'm finna go downstairs for
my evening activities, I'm in the kitchen. So if I'm here, let's
wash the dish get out. So once I'm done with everything and I'm sitting
on the couch on my vibe, you can't you can't say, hey,
bro, you didn't do it, peace right. I just I don't want
you talking to me, So whatever you want to talk about, I'm gonna
get it out of the ways, and you don't speak to me. But
I like, thank everybody for coming around with me on this episode of all
right, wait, what more thing before we get out of here. Last
night I had a moment of damn, you might be getting old. My
sister turned twenty seven on the twenty second we are Now, I'm not oblivious.
I know my little sister day tonight or whatever the fuck you do with
niggas, that's what you do. I'm not oblivious. You're twenty seven.
You're doing something. But she ain't never brought the work to the house.
So last night I was downstairs getting knocking the ship out. I'm like,
I'm from the road. It's blowing washing this and I'm gonna stand outside smoking.
Now, I forgot my sister wasn't in the house. Or usually when
she's not in the house, I leave on the doors on the lot.
Because I'm downstairs, I forgot she wasn't home. So I had to get
up and go open the door for us. All the doors a lot so
and she walk in the nigga bop being with his head down. I'm like
I want to say, but look for in my eyes, nigga, what
what bro in this room? Man? How old he right? It don't
matter how old you get me like a motherfucking man. Bro, I'm not
on your I'm not on your ne I know your ass about ship. Bro.
I understand what's going on. But that was funny saying to me.
Got his head down. But whatever bro too, Bro, I would have.
I would have because he didn't come in there just stiff arm that nigga
like greeting me like a real nigga. Hold your head and look me on
my eyes. Man, you yeah, just because I ain't never met the
action. That's like when your sister like bump into the bitches bring. I
sat at the house nigging out of here last night. Thank y'all for tuning
into this first episode on this long tour. Thanks for having We got several
dates and I thought myself, like life skinned nigga, Okay, I know
my little sister. I learned something new every day. We like to thank
Johnny and Lachelle for popping in with us. Make sure you check us out
of all streaming platform that Spreaker, Spotify, iHeart Radio wherever it is looking
at the show. The Death Fresh Show will eventually be back to normal in
the spring. We don't know yet, but make sure you build a lookout
for where I come from and kickboxing somewhere in between. All that. With
that being said, we ought to hear people peace, Peace,