Good morning, Metroplex. How are we doing. Let's get out there,
let's get it going. Big one today. Well, here's you up.
Cowboys win, MAVs win, Appenheimer wins, so much stuff. Big Show
Todays, including We'll talk some Cowboys and NFL playoffs for you at seven at
eight o'clock, eight thirty Golden Globes review at nine. We just need to
get rid of a ward shows in general and a host of fens Taylor Swift,
Well MAVs for you in thirty minutes. We also have the big story
about the gaping hole inside the plane and the cannon ball heard around the world
when the guy with an absent penis jumped into the aquarium at Best Pro Shops
at Alabama. It was a wild weekend. Not how cold are those tanks?
They have to be so crazy. I mean from the far away shot,
you couldn't even tell that he had a male appendage that counts the micro
Oh yeah, is micro pe affliction? Like is that a medical thing or
is it just there's some sort of cutoff where you're like, all right,
I'm in the club. We would have to get someone on who would know
something about that, and we had so much luck. Last week someone on
who had a medical penis extension. But I'm sure the micro peen lines are
going to just blow up. One guy called in. She just said he
couldn't hold through the break. So but we're gonna we would have to get
an expert on you know, that type of thing, because we know anything
about that world. Nah, I think that guy had I don't think it
was micro. I think micro is when it's like a basically it never develops
beyond five years old. Shake that tiny d one seemed like it was just
you know, I don't know. Did you see the close up shot when
they had him arrested. I mean it it had for the hills and the
hills were inside his body, and then did you zoom in further like KT
did, had a little smiley face on it. Maybe he's what do they
say as a grower, not a shower. Okay, and that's fine.
Actually that's an interesting discussion. But even those that are growers are not showers.
You don't spend a day looking like that. Yeah, I mean when
you when you're getting arrested and you jumped out of a cold pool, maybe
you look like you know, an eighth or a an eight year old,
but when it's business time, maybe he turns into Danny D. Yeah,
okay, Danny D. Is that what you call it? No, that's
not even him, Danny D. Is that a star? Yeah, it's
a star a brit How do you go, Britt, How do you know
that that's gonna be y'all's era? No? No, he's squarely in the
game right now. Yeah, google him, ladies. It's like Jordi is
a little Latin kid. Okay, Jordy just like Danny D. An idiot,
but that he looks like, you know, a little buffalo nickel holding
it between his thighs. It's weird. Is the birthday of Tyler Quinn today?
She's twenty six? You guys in on that not really a legend?
No, no, it doesn't matter. I know the dudes, dudes,
candid Cam slam, those are the ones I keep up with you guys,
keep tracking the guys in the world of Adultlam. But we're tracking all of
our heroes. Yeah, right, absolutely we are. Nothing makes me happier
than seeing Mikey's reaction to the referencing of the random throwing out for him looking
right at me and knowing I can't hide that I know exactly who he's talking
about. Soap micro penis can't occur on its own, but it often accompanies
other health problems due to hormonal disorders that could have been birth conditions as well.
And it is a penis that measures three point six seven inches or less
when gently stretched gently. That's the definition a little hand ruler in here.
This comes out a lot when just keep guessing with our fingers. Jeez,
I don't know what to say. Treatments. We'll shout out to that guy
that's a there's not a cure. Three point seven inches is like that.
I've said it for years that it's a common joke in pop culture, and
it's almost like making fun of someone for being tall, or making someone for
being short, like they had no say in the matter. They popped out
and this is what they were going to be. M okay, And you
were making little jokes because you tend to be an advocate for the man with
the defender. Yes, I'm a defendant person if that person right now a
vocal defender. So I'm saying it's no different than racism. The fact that
you would make fun of someone's skin color, you know how stupid, that
is. I bet it's a lot different than racism. No, it's not
that different. It's quite different. Well, he's right in that it's because
of in front of someone for something they had no control over, and it's
just a physical aspect of there being I agree with that. I think yes,
and you racism with underwearing pants. You know, there's a deeper discussion
for sure, But not for FM. That's for HF. It's for AM
and Color TV that debate. Do you guys believe in curses? What is
he talking about? I don't believe in curses. No one, man,
no no. So I told you guys. I've watched a little bit of
the show on Showtime called The Curse, which is about a real event that
happened in Nathan Fielder's life. The actor Nathan Fielder, and he had this
concept and it is about a girl, like a little kid, a girl
who said I curse you, and then his life had events in the next
couple of months that did okay, and then he was trying to right the
wrong and all that stuff. I was kind of thinking with this with the
Cowboys, So if the Curse happened, the Jimmy Johnson thing. If that's
real and there was legit sold my soul to the I would sell my soul
to the devil. For Super Bowl things, you kind of do have to
beat the Packers first, right to lift the curse, like you got the
game against the Lions, which is a fluke right after Jimmy goes into the
Ring of Honor, and then you get the Packers. And then for all
you non believers out there, you would get the Lions again and then beat
them fair and square. And then who's the other franchise that you would have
to beat for the curse? It would be the forty nine Ers. And
then your front runner in the AFC to the Super Bowl, in my estimation,
is not the Ravens. It's the Bills. I know the Ravens haven't
buy whatever. The nineties Cowboys who beat the Bills what twice? Twice?
Yeah, but they did lose four in a row. Then you go beat
the Bills again just as a commemoration of thirty years ago. I kind of
think there's something here. Do you think if it was a curse though,
and it was being excised exercise Hampster, it would be the Bills to beat
the Cowboys wouldn't that be the the real curse that's gonna would be getting blasted?
Well? Yeah, are the bills the ones that are cursed? Well,
nobody's cursed. Jerry Jones cursed. No, no one's cursed. He
lifted the curse by putting Jimmy in the ring. Would your mind change on
curses if it played out in this fation? Why the Lions involved in the
curse? Like it's a it's all flimsy, everything's flims things. You say,
everything's flimsy. There are no hard answers to anything. So because the
Packers beat up on the Cowboys a few times in the last decade or whatever,
uh huh, that's curse level one. Yeah, and then Chris level
two would be the Lions beating them fair and square even a a week.
Associate ciation with the head coach too. If you think about that McCarthy getting
revenge on Green but just playing into that because it was Jimmy and finally getting
rid of this petty thing that you had forever. This is almost as flimsy,
of not more flimsy than the whole Jeff Epstein eleven letters thing. Yeah,
last week, like you can find you can find a cursor, a
conspiracy and anything hard enough, right, and just throw the Lions in there
like that's some sort of that fits the your narrative. Then well then you
just say and then the Lions. What about the Lions? Look it up,
do your own research. That's that's that's froyd. That's the easiest one.
The Lions is for all the non believers. You have to beat them
fair and square, not you just had a ref or some Vegas conspiracy.
But it's my timeline is flooded with that that Michael Parsons is still the league
has it out for Michael Parsons because he didn't get called for holding again yesterday.
Watch every game in the NFL, people, every pass rusher gets held.
I'm sorry, you're not the only one, Mike, go oh my
god. But it's not like you're guaranteed. Even if. I mean,
it could be the Bucks or Philly, right, could be fit your curse
thing a little bit better, because at least it's a divisional deal. Yeah,
but beating the Lions for real, for real, not after a ref
gave you the game, there's something. Maybe it wouldn't be Philly because likely
the way this would play out as Philly would go play San Francisco and get
destroyed by them. Not the Rams beat the Lions. Not the Rams beat
the Lions, and then the Rams take San Francisco, so you could get
Philly. You're right, see, so if you want it to be that
way, that's fine. Hey they're loose. Nothing's firm ever for me.
So it's like when I was playing at yesterday, like the number one thing
I did not want was Packers and Cowboys because I'm a lifelong Packers fan who
wants the Cowboys to do well. Okay, and this happens. I mean,
dude, I had It's the only time I've ever like been like nearly
assaulted. I had a Cowboys fan launch a and now I remember it very
vividly. It was the number twelve striped pool ball like in Billiards. Threw
it at me one time because I said I was a Packers fan on the
air. Now, people are nuts. Okay, did he just hoss it
at you or no, he threw it overhund uh. You know that's it's
kind of a blur where it was back to say he was at the Omni.
It was at the Omni. It was in the press box bar.
Okay, they're doing a show there, and I was we were just like
on Friday, like, what do you thing's gonna happen in the game.
It's before the twenty sixteen game Packers thirty four Cowboys thirty one. I predicted
Packers thirty four Cowboys thirty one would be the game again, launched a pool
ball at me. Is he what kind of a submarine delivery? I don't
know. Again, I don't remember. You think you just tossed it and
landing on the table loudly in front of you. No, no, because
that's a soul. It's like if he really threw it at you, that's
serious. So in front of us is a bunch of cowboys fans, okay,
And it was kind of running through the generic thing on the Friday broadcast
what is gonna happen? You know, and the crowd's kind of getting into
oh oh, the time has where we've been in skin of course, been
and skinned with cowboys, And I was like, to be honest, man,
like you had the crowd and the palmier hand Aaron Rodgers. I did,
like the tremendous actor you are now, I did go full heel turned
as I stood up in the chair, it started getting them all revved up
and calling Benn and skin Homers and all that stuff, and said, I
just think it would be thirty one guy. He probably just Tim wakefielded a
knuckler that harmlessly landed on Kevin's live spot. Copyes, fast, did it
touch your body? It did touch your body? No, I caught it
O nice catch, but it wouldn't have killed the Randy Johnson bird flying across
if there was one. But it was not soft and it was uncalled for,
and the guy was escorted out like it was like a very tense thing,
like what the You had him thrown out? You had him escort it
out. I think everyone saw it was like what the hell like, dude,
it was a shocking thing. Point is what happened in that game.
Packers won thirty four to thirty one. And if you guys are just listened
to me for a second, I'm right all the e f in time,
never wrong. I tried to like I offered my advice all the time,
and no one takes me seriously. And you know why, It's because I'm
a little bit shorter than the rest of you. And all these things that
I can't control. Yeah, back to the penis thing again. Yes,
the penis and you sit here and we do this and we think we know
everything until you start to listen. And that's all I'm asking for people to
do right now, to listen. Are we still talking about the curse.
We're all kind of asking people to listen. Tweet from a guy today,
Guys, you guys go do the Miami Mall story. We did it Friday.
I need you all to listen. Need it, like need it,
not want it, need it. Listen to Kevin, everybody that you're too.
I curse could all with the climb this opportunity to listen to you regularly,
and now what do we do? I accept, but there's no such
thing as curses. Kevin. Okay, you just said you're always right.
Then you talk about a curse and the lions were involved somehow could be We'll
see. Hey, if you ever get assaulted in public and I'm around,
that is that will not happen. He's going to catch hands. Let me
just tell you, unless the dude is bigger than me, or it looks
super scary in any way, you know, or like crazy eye. Yeah,
I remember one of those three scenarios, I have your back and showing
allegiance with Mikey, I will quickly notify and quietly notify the manager and have
them thrown out, so much so that Daniel will lock himself in the manager's
office the facility just to make sure that the manager is not in the office
and is actually out they're doing his job. And then you're in there covering
the management part total of this business until this guy's gone. Till this scum
is gone, it won't happen, Kevin. On my watch, this dude
is jacked, then I'm out. I'm totally can't be really nice. And
we haven't done downbeat remotes in the morning, really, And I'm told that's
because I'm too toxic. There's too much potential for violence taking me to the
streets. Yeah, I doesn't have anything to do with nothing's open at six
in the morning. Yeah, it's largely due to that. Yeah, we're
in a broadcast of the one guy Starbucks about to go run around the lake.
Well, Kevin, Yeah, I don't transition Dolphin's bills. What last
night didn't go well for you, Mikey, that sucks it for you.
You know, I was thinking I don't know if it's like maybe it's how
Ranger fans felt until a couple months ago. You know, it just feels
like the good things never happen. You know, the good thing never happens.
Do you ever roll your eyes at Cowboys fans too bitch about yeahing?
It deput playoff run in because you're looking at three straight twelve one seasons.
And I guarantee if you if the Cowboys lose to uh Green Bay, it
is fire Mike McCarthy one week from today. It should be. No,
it shouldn't be. But but I mean, I don't know if it should
or shouldn't. But it's not definitive one way or the other. Three straight
twelve one seasons. They're not very good multiple division championships. Dolphins haven't wont
a division championships since eight oh and that was an outlier. And you're also
lucky there was a nineteen straight non repeat NFC East champions Yeah, nineteen.
And all I do as a fan of that idiot team is watch the Patriots
win it for about twenty years and now the Bills win him five in a
row or whatever it is. Garbage man, it's the opposite of the NFC
East, and I would much rather be a division where yeah, sure it
rotates and you win sometimes, so yes, No, it's frustrating to be
at home. And it's so cyclical because this happened in what nineteen ninety two,
when the Dolphins had home field advantage of the playoffs and the Bills are
coming to town. I'm like, screw it, here we go. Let's
whoop the Bills ass and make and show, you know, exercise these demons.
And they Kenneth Davis ran one hundred screenplays, wasn't even Thurman Thomas,
and they whipped us. And now thirty years later, it's like, all
right, Bills. The only saving grace is that both teams will The Dolphins
were locked in the playoffs. Before the game, It's like, I don't
know, you rather play Buffalo in Miami or at KC. And I'm like,
I think they're better. Dolphins are a better team than Kansas City.
I'm not sure we're a better team than the Bills. So losing wasn't the
end of the world, because you're still in the damn playoffs. Do you
have peacock? I do. That's good because we're exclusive on peacock Saturday Night
that's wild, the Dolphins at the Chiefs and Outside exclusive exclusively on Peacock only
on I think if you're in Kansas City or Miami, I think you get
regional. You've got to be kidding me, but yeah, for us,
this is the first playoff game that's ever not been on widespread Yeah, easily
available TV. You gotta download the damn app. You gotta pay for it,
but you're gonna free trial it or whatever. Now. They tried to
warm me up for this two weeks ago and they did Bills and Arger's Saturday
Night Peacock Exclusive. They're promoting the crap out of it. It's genius.
It's genius by a business and what a play You really want to watch the
NFL playoff game? The only thing people watch live? As we saw,
like, go get the Peacock app, which I have because you know what,
I like a lot of things that I can see on there. I
watched the very first episode of Saturday Night Live last week from nineteen seventy five,
George Carlin, Billy Preston. Probably not you know, not really,
you know, but it's very it was cool to see just to look at
how it all worked. Out. I'm split on this because I, on
some surface level, think it's crazy that there's a NFL playoff game that you
can't easily watch. But for all the NFL's done for me and us,
and if it is five bucks whatever, like, would you just hand someone
five dollars so I can watch this for the next three hours? For sure
I would pay five dollars to watch the Dolphins and Chiefs playoff game, right,
just that. Yeah, that's exactly kind of what I mean. One
game for sure. You told me I get all of parks and rec with
it. Great, you get poker face too, No, I got that
many. Now I wonder how the politics of how that not not the decision
to air that game on Peacock, but how it all shook out on who
gets what games, because I was assuming Peacock would get the crap game of
the weekend, which would be the what Texans? And who are they playing?
Texans? Browns? They lot Texans like, you know, you're the
new guy, Yeah, ten year seniority, you know, pecking order,
you're getting whatever the worst. Fine, we'll give you a game, but
you're getting the worst one. But not I mean Dolphins Chiefs? Is I
mean, how Tata is going to be there. That is like, it's
a it's a no joke. I could ever judge how the Dolphins are viewed.
But I mean it's a Chiefs home game in Arawhead. That automatically makes
it not the worst game of the weekend. I really am surprised. I
had no idea until today. Yeah, because like NBA will do that in
the playoffs. Baseball does it where you. The difference is, though,
the networks that they typically show those games on are like USA TBS, ESPN,
NBA TV, those channels, Yeah, T and T there you go.
But those channels are usually part of an expanded cable package or a basic
cable package that you get when you go with I say, the more traditional
streaming platforms like Hulu Live and YouTube TV. This is a standalone app,
yeah, that you have to download onto your smart TV sub sign in with
an email and a credit card, and subscribe to it just to watch a
football game, like Amazon what you would have to do for Thursday night football
all year long. So yeah, that's that's true. But that's a huge
difference between a Thursday night football game and an NFL playoff game. How is
the League reconciled with this. They cannot be happy about not having their product
a little more widespread. But it's NBC, So it's NBC throwing their elbows
out a little bit. I think it's one small step for the direction the
NFL wants to go. Is what not user friendly? Well it's nothing.
That's kind of what makes the NFL great. We talked about this last week
is that their games, regardless of where they occur, they're not regionalized to
some specific network that makes them unavailable in other markets. Well, I mean
it's weird to me though, because like you would think Dolphins Chiefs is the
headliner AFC game, That's what you would want. And so I don't know
if they the networks rotate in their bidding. Obviously Fox gets the NFC,
CBSABC, We've known this forever. But the Cowboys is what anyone would want.
So if you're NBC, you'd probably be going, I want if I
get the first pick, I want Packers Cowboys on Saturday night on Peacock and
we said, well we get in at the Fox. It's funny as a
Monday night game on Super wild Card weekend, they do the Monday night game
too. Now they're two three one dumb, but they do it. I
remember last year Joe and Troy doing Eagles and Bucks round one of the playoffs
two years ago, and I remember Troy bitching about that game, and I
was like, all right, well, it'll be way better for you on
Monday night football. And there they go, they have the Eagles and Bucks
on Monday Night. I mean, Troe was just like, ah, this
is terrible football, you know, And he was mad because he didn't get
a Cowboys game probably or a good game. So if we were getting the
worst game on Monday night? Was that the game also where there was like
a giant tray of fajidas next to him that they what was that that they
were trying to eat a meatball? It was a meet beat ball. Yeah,
the meat balls are over here getting cold. They gotta do something about
this officiating. The gaves are going on too long, and Joe calls him
out for having food. It's just getting cold in front of him. I
don't know, it's uh, it's gonna be Brown's. Texans is the Deshaun
Watson Massage Bowl. You got the Peacock game, which is great. Dolphins
Chiefs zero degree kickoff Saturday night. Yeah, that's great, I mean not
great for your team the way they like to play, right, Yeah,
because every single player on the Dolphins team was just born and raised in Aruba.
They're just used to hundred degree tempts in humidity. I think that's weird.
Yeah, I mean he's warm boy. Steelers at Steelers, Bills at
noon Sunday, pack Cowboys three point thirty Sunday, Iconic Rams, Lions Sunday
night the golf and Stafford Bowl. That's pretty juicy, although very juicy,
you know, or the Cowboys Packers would be the first draft pick. Yeah,
if you were all the networks, and do you think Sunday night is
the most premier spot? It is now, it has been for fifteen years,
but for Super wild Card weekend, which I think now it's that midday
yeah, because they usually rotate whether it's the whether it's the Fox game or
the CBS game is the big one. It was last year, but it
was like, I'm hype for this, but it just seems so spare Eagles
Bucks is like the Monday night. Yeah, like, all right, I
won't be excited, I'll watch it, won't be hype for that a few
games, they are kind of all right, let's get through this whatever.
Yeah, now I'm with you, but okay, we'll have more on this
all throughout the day because a lot of stuff to talk about when it comes
to your cowboys. They won in Washington yesterday, but another team won last
night as well, and it might have all been covered up by all of
the football happening. Us a special gift if you worked here next time.
Ninety seven won the free