Paul check Check and check wall too. This is the two seventeen Recovery Podcast
with Corey Winfield and who knows as soon as he gives a tour he's gonna
give her his heart to her too, and we'll have kids and getting married.
That's too far. It is the twenty eighth of February twenty twenty four,
Mine Sporty Windfield and this is the two seventeen Recovery podcast. North Studio
is where I'm at today and a very special guest in the studio with me,
Jeff Lane. Jeff, how are you today, Hey, Corey,
I'm doing really well. Thanks thanks for having me. People are like Jeff
Lang, is he the guy that plays guitar for Sticks? Just like that?
Yeah? Yeah, sure, yeah that's me. Yep. I don't
even know if there's a guy in Sticks that plays that, But I mean
I don't know here nor there. That's right, you're here in the studio
and there's a big event coming up tomorrow, at least in my eyes,
to seventeen Recoveries event. It's Recovery Stories Message of Hope Part two. Oh
yeah, and we and I asked you to be the headliner. Bro oh
so exciting, Thanks for having me. No pressure whatsoever. Yeah, none,
But I can handle it. It is cool because how we do it
is we start off like four people who tell recovery stories. Now this isn't
your whole life story. These are just like little pieces of it, and
they're usually about three to five minutes long, so it kind of moves along
pretty quick. And it's interesting because you get to hear about people and then
the message of hope part and that's where you come in, Jeff. You
know, Mike is going to get up there and then you're going to follow
him to kind of close it down again. No pressure, man, Yeah
right, Mike's a hard act to follow. Yeah, no pressure, no
pressure whatsoever. So I can bring it. But I think you're pretty pumped.
And you know, it's like one of those things where even if you
mess up, it's your story, your life. You're telling it like there
really should be no pressure. There's not, no and I mean it's just
an opportunity to get to tell just a snippet. You know, I think
I can handle it. There's I've got I don't know if you know this
or not, Corey, but I'm kind of a big deal. So yeah,
that's what I mean. That's why we had you headline it for us.
The real challenge is fitting my life into ten or fifteen minutes like we're
hoping you do like thirty thirty five. Oh sweet, well even better like
but still it's there's a lot I've done. I've done a lot, I've
seen some things. Yeah, and that's the tough part about telling the stories.
And we've all the people in recovery, I would say we all,
I would say most of us have been to a place where it's a speaker
meeting. You get up there and these people are asked to fill an hour
sometimes and they've never spoken publicly, you know, and so they're they're telling
stuff and sometimes they call it, you know, speaking out of church.
You know. They're well, my brother and he was like alcohol looking them
my mom and you're like, oh, you know, how about we just
we talk about you, buddy, how about hear your story and okay,
you can say that your family upbringing wasn't the best. Okay, cool,
But like they'll start like call calling people out. And I did the same
thing the first time I told my story, and I had apologized to all
the people that I that I kind of threw under the bus because hey,
nobody held alcohol to my face and poured it on my throat. I did
that. So there you go. That's that's who's to blame this guy,
you know, and blame the alcohol, sure, but like I will still
like blame it x's and oh, well she did this and since she drank
alcohol, like there was hard liquor that I had to drink alcohol that was
hard liquor, and that's what really got messed up, you know. And
I'm like listen to it like a year or two later, and I was
like, oh my god, like that is so bad. Like and the
trick is to you know, like also keeping it focused on that message of
hope, like you said, you know, not getting lost. I've heard
a lot of speakers too that that get lost in the like where I was
and just how bad it was. And uh And that's the thing that I
try to remind myself of is that you know, like we all know how
bad it was, like because we lived it, and that doesn't necessarily,
you know, impact how it's affected my life. I mean it does,
but you know, you don't need to know every single detail of what I
did and where I was, and I've had public speaking training like because again
I'm kind of a big deal. When I lived in Sydney, uh in
Australia, like we so, I'm also HIV positive and when I was diagnosed,
I went through a training to become a plic public speaker. About that
so nice. It was like a I think it was like a weekend that
we did a Friday, Saturday, Sunday kind of thing and uh and and
it was free and uh, just a way to really practice, you know,
how you speak and what you say and uh, you know, carrying
that theme of a message like and not getting lost. Uh yeah, no,
and and it's easy, It's easy. It's amazing. When I was
in grade school too, uh or middle school, I was in the Gifted
and Talented program and we did public speaking stuff then too, where uh other
students would sit there and you would have to give a speech and they would
count the number of times that you said uh then like and then tell you
later and uh and uh it's you know, like you you don't notice that
you put these sentence and answers into your sentences and then spend more time making
those sounds than actually collecting your thoughts. Yeah. That was a huge crutch
for me back in my early days on the radio, and I don't know
how long it took me to break it, but then you find new ones
and I was like, oh, like like I handed my program director of
my demo or whatever the air check and I'm like, here you go.
And I was all proud. I'm like, I didn't say uh one time,
like you just robust it. Yeah, you're saying butt a lot,
all the butts. Yeah, it's just something I do now, you know.
And I like weird butts. That's It's like I like booties, that's
right, So now you put them into my senses. Yeah, you replace
one crutch with another. It's it's not unlike addiction. Yeah, it's very
similar to that. So tomorrow you're talking and just for people that are going
to be there, it's recovery stories. Much of Hope Part two. It's
at the Traverse City Event Center, which is also known as a Travers City
Comedy Club. Really cool event If it's about one five fifty, I think
it'll be hacked. It's a neat little venue, it really is. You
would never know that it was there if I hadn't been there a couple times.
Yeah, it's kind of sneaky off to the left off South Garfield.
All the details are at two seventeen recovery dot com. But for those of
you who can't make it, who maybe live in Sydney, Australia, or
in Dallas, Texas, or Fort Smith, Arkansas, or Colomba, Michigan,
or maybe even Grand Rapids. For those of you who can't make it,
we're gonna film it nice and you can see it online as soon as
I put it all together, which usually takes some time because I got other
things going on, but I will have it together. We did last one
last October and I just got it completed, the whole thing like a month
ago, so that's you know, it's progress not perfection. Yeah, because
we have four cameras that are shooting it, so you got to kind of
put it together. And then the last time, and you know, at
the last event, the first event, I wasn't as nervous and I was
even doing a story but talking of people that I actually like that so that
wasn't concerning. But now I have expectations of how this one should go.
Oh because last time, like Mary jumps on the stage because I guess she
didn't know there were stairs, so she like just climbs up on the from
the side. I'm like, what is she doing? And she refuses to
sit in the chair or use the chair, so she pushes the chair away
and then stands off to the side, and the microphone just had this shadow
right on her face. Yeah. It was like is that a microphone shadow?
Like r on her face the whole time, like ah, And I'm
trying to cut cameras and one of our cameras is kind of a long shot
and people keep walking in front of it, so then you have to like
edit it out to where like, okay, that doesn't happen. And then
but then you cut to the other end, there's a big shadow on Mary's
face. I'm like, ah, Now, you know though, like those
are things that you'll be able to do beforehand mentioned to the speakers as you
talk, don't do this, don't do that, by the way, Yeah,
and kind of microphone shadow on your face. The other guy had a
like a life not a life vest. He was up there hoping he wouldn't
drown like a little jacket on. You know what I'm saying. I don't
know the reflective jacket. I don't nobody. He kept moving. Kate came
straight from the construction site, like I don't even know what they're called.
Man that Michael J. Fox used to wear or he wore back to the
future, that's reflection, so that if you are going to get run over,
just in case, you know, cow cars wearing man just people know
the orange one that he wore. I don't know whatever they're called. That's
that's what he was wearing. And we have little mics that we pin on
people, and he kept moving and it was just He's like telling a story
like here. So I'm like, okay, I got a note to self
not to do that. That's you know, tell people you know where something.
Do you know what you're wearing clothes? Okay, cool, so the
clothes that you wear, yeah, not noisy clothes. Yeah. And other
than that, I think it should be pretty good, though I know a
lot of people are going to be there. Expectations are super high for this
one. I'm excited for me, I really am. I think it's it's
I love hearing other people's stories as well and getting to be a part.
You know. One of the best things about getting clean and being in recovery
is like getting more active in the community and meeting these amazing people, Like
we all have so many skills and talents, and you know, and we
were just wasting those away, you know, interactive addiction. Isn't that crazy?
Yeah? And you think, how old are you? Jeff forty one?
Forty one? Okay, So when you look back, do you think,
Man, I could have accomplished so much more. I mean, I
think we all do. But we have to come to terms and accept the
fact that we are where we are today for a reason. It. Yeah,
I mean, you know, there are I could be living in a
foreign country, like I could have potentially pulled that off if I hadn't chosen
drugs instead of spending instead of spending the time that I should have been using
to like to actually actively get a way to stay in that country. So
but you know, like like you just said, like it, everything has
happened the way that it has needed to happen so that I can end up
here today, Like I can make a bigger difference now knowing and experiencing those
things than I could have then. But man, uh, drug users are
some creative people, Like there's some if you think about all the different ways
that we managed to like you know, it's I don't I don't recommend breaking
the law, but all the different ways that we broke the laws and and
got away with the stuff that we got away with, like for so long
before we finally got caught. If we got caught, you know, like
there's there's some skill sets in there that we are finally getting to tap into.
And that's that's an exciting thing to watch. Like I love watching people
get clean and find like what it is that they're actually good at, what
makes them gives them purpose? Yeah, like you you making the world a
better place, getting these people where they need to go, Like what is
part of it? I was just talking about that with somebody the other day,
like what a what a blessing you are like and this two one seven,
you know, like what you guys are doing because realistically, like that's
the step that you know, like even for me, Like when I wanted
to get clean, I was in South Carolina and I so desperately wanted to
get clean and I wanted to go to a long term recovery facility And there
were two of them in South Carolina and the first one I called in Charleston
wanted two thousand dollars up front to walk in the door. And and the
guy literally said to me, because I was like, well, I'm an
addict, Like I don't have two thousand dollars and he and he literally said,
can't you borrow that from someone? And I was like, do you
know how addiction works? Like if I had two grand right now, we
would not be on the phone. I would have two thousand dollars with the
drugs right here next to me, like. And then the second place I
called, you know, they wanted like fourteen hundred dollars even and I had
health insurance and I was like, what do you mean, Like I have
insurance. You can't even you know, you can't even accommodate that and and
uh and he said, you know, unfortunately not. And it wasn't until
like a week later that he called me back and he said, you know,
like we've got some scholarship money that if you still really want to come,
you can you can do that. And luckily I had a friend that
took me because it was an hour and a half away. This place that
I went to out in the middle of the backwoods of South Carolina. Yeah,
No, it really was. It was in the middle of nowhere.
We were we were, uh, you know, this facility had like two
trailers and uh out on a just on a plot of land, like and
it was that's that was this recovery facility that I went to. Got you
as I worried about. Yes, yeah, well it was you know,
it was a good experience and and uh and it's what led me to Michigan
too, because that's that's where I was getting clean. And uh. I
sat out under the stars one night and said to my higher power, I
said, uh, like right before I went to bed, I was like,
all right, I'm listening, tell me what you want me to do.
I went in and went to bed. In the next day, excuse
me. The next day, I was doing the dishes and we got TV
time in the afternoon and we had something playing on in the background and in
the background in the backwoods of South Carolina an ad for Traverse City, Michigan,
pure Michigan King. No, it was just a pure Michigan ad for
Traverson. Yeah. And friends of mine had already written to me in rehab
and said, we live up here. We think you would love it,
Like this has everything and so I'd already been thinking about it, like and
it. You don't get a clearer sign than that. So I was like,
all right, done deal like you know, and uh it didn't.
I didn't stay clean after that, but I did. That was the deciding
moment right there. I was like all right, because I was actually toying
between here and Baltimore, Maryland, because I've got friends that live there too,
so because I wanted out of South Carolina quite different Traverse City Baltimore,
opposite sides of everything very much. But uh, you know what it I
I think it took I think it took a month and I but I packed
up and I moved up here. And it didn't start out strong, but
it's finishing strong, so that's good. I love it here. It's beautiful.
Yeah. You mentioned earlier being you know, a part of the community
and stuff like that, and you're being a part of the community. You're
the all the things. The president of the fan Traverse City chapter, how
does that work? What is that about Families Against Narcotics which is a name
that we're maybe changing just a fan you know, we're still getting our footing.
So the organization started in twenty eighteen from Judge Cooney saw a need with
a number of drug arrests and cases that were coming in across his desk,
and so they started something to help people struggling with substance use disorder find resources
within the community, and not just the people people struggling with substance use disorder,
but actually their families because realistically, like it takes a village, like
to get these people clean. You know, they've done that that rat study,
like where they gave the rats cocaine, but the rats that had a
village or like had friends and stuff. Yeah, yeah, Rat Park.
You know, like they found that they all they really needed was friends and
family to hang out with, like, and so this is about helping the
families, and you know, it started to build some momentum, and then
COVID happened and like some of the things that you know that we're meeting in
person, everything went virtual and that didn't really necessarily work. So we're trying
to figure out what we're who we are and what we're doing. But we're
getting some momentum again. We just found out that the Opioid Consortium is going
to give us three thousand dollars, So yeah, so now we've got some
money, so we just had to figure out what to do with that money.
So we're we were doing forums every month. We were trying some things,
and we we didn't have a lot of consistency. So this year we're
going to work on that for forums this year, uh, making sure that
those forums have content related to the faimilies. You know that this upcoming one
in April, I believe it's April seventh. We've moved the time to an
earlier time so it's more accommodating to families because I think seven o'clock, you
know, I don't have kids, but were I to, that's like a
time that you want them to be winding down, like not not coming in.
So moving the meeting to an earlier time. We have a speaker that's
coming who is going to talk about her experience as the parent of someone who
is struggling with substance use disorder and how that has affected her and where she's
going. And then we're going to try to get another speaker who is someone
who is recovering from substance use disorder and has a family and the dynamic that
that's created and how they've become successful you know, after addiction or as they're
starting to get re acclimated into life. So I'm really hopeful. Like I
think there's a lot that we can do for this community, and I think
that there's a lot of people competing for resources too, and I want to
try to work away from that and get us to work together, like we're
all working for the same cause. I'd say ninety eight percent of us work
together. Yeah good. And you know, like I'm on the advisory board,
a fan, and I'm there just to say we need to do stuff
together. Like the Mitch is like, are you on the advisory board.
I'm like, I'm just gonna advise them to do stuff with us, that's
right, because we're about doing things and we have a staff of five,
Like we can't do it all, you know. The family there's not like
hundreds of members, you know. So it's like when you need other people,
you know, rea reach out, come together, do it together,
you know, Like why not. It's the same cause we're trying to help
people. Families or the people that are struggling. They all need help.
And that's kind of like what you said about the family members, Like people
don't realize that they're going through it too. You know, I don't have
kids either. I do have one on the way though, that's right.
But when he gets here, you know, like I'm gonna have a whole
different life. My whole life as it is now will not exist. I
will not care what I listen to in them. I will not care when
I listen to on the way home. It'll probably be like da da Da
Da da da. And I'll be one hundred percent happy with that. But
things will change in my view on things will change, and I will be
more protective, and you know, if if something happens, I want to
make sure that he has the best options available. And there's no book on
that, you know, well there's there are tons of books on it,
but there are so many people that are absolutely different, and what works for
one person is not going to work for another. And how one mother or
father reacts isn't going to be the right way for another one to react,
you know, And it's just it's such a it's such a tricky thing.
And then the whole line that I see a lot of people have problems with
is the am I enabling? You know? But they're going to die if
I don't help them, you know. So I need to do this,
and I tried this, and I tried that, and it's so frustrating and
to be able to talk to other parents, to listen and hear others some
other ways people have tried it and it didn't or did work, you know,
and maybe they can take that in and do it as they see fit
for their situation and their family. But it's it's tough, but to know
that their support out there and we don't have to hide in the basement of
churches anymore. And there are some people that still like, no, I
don't want anyone to know, and that's cool whatever, man. But the
whole recovery out loud thing, I think is a huge thing to let people
know, like, hey, I'm in recovery and there's nothing wrong with me
changing my life for the better. That's right. I'm not ashamed of that,
you know. That was one of my biggest fears too, getting clean,
especially in South Carolina. I so, I have a brother who also
struggles with substance use disorder. He's actually incarcerated right now in South Carolina.
I'm trying to get him up here because they're just are there just are no
resources down there, and they don't protect people's rights in the South. So
but I, you know, I did was afraid to go to anything like
Narcotics Synonymous because I didn't want people to see me as an addict, because
I was afraid they were gonna lump me in the same category as him.
And while we both struggle with since you disorder, our struggle is different.
And you know, he has stolen from the family and and burned all the
bridges and really had a tough time go of it. And and not that
I didn't towards the end, but I didn't want those assumptions to be associated
with me initially, like and you know, and and there's a lot of
my drive as well to learn how to be a better brother and a more
supportive family member, you know, because I've also got parents who I love,
but I also love that they live in South Carolina, you know,
and I live up here, and and and as wonderful and supportive as they
have been, like they too could benefit from learning more about this disease and
more about how to be better parents and and for the people that want those
resources, like that's kind of what I want Fan to become you know,
is a place where you can, uh, you know, find the resources
and navigate that system, because there are a lot of things out there like
that can help you know people and families, and but how do you know
like where to begin, Like what do you know unless unless you have a
guide who's like walking you through these things. And that's kind of one of
the things we're going to work on this year too. It's one of our
goals is to create these kind of welcome packets like that have a bunch of
those resources in there, and and it tells you, like, you know,
if if this is what you need for you know, if your family
member is struggling kind of with these specific things, like this is who you
can go to, Like you can go to ATS or you can call to
one seven and they'll come get you and they'll take you to a facility like
But you know, even even as a person struggling with substance use disorder,
like, navigating recovery resources like is challenging, Like you're you know, in
the midst of using drugs and doing all the things that addicts do, like,
uh, it's it can be a really daunting system to approach, and
I think you know in my mind, I'm hoping that this can become a
way to better navigate that that system, find all these resources that we have
here in the community that are working together, and help link them to each
other, like so that we have a you know, a guide if you
will, on like how to get how to be a supportive family member,
like how to be what that even looks like, you know, and the
family member sometimes you mentioned similar something to what I'm about to say, is
they feel like they fail as parents almost and they don't want to let everybody
know, like, hey, little Jimmy's struggling, because that makes me look
like a bad parent. And I didn't know what I was doing. So
let's just not show up to that because I can't because if they see my
car there, then give me some questions and I don't want to answer them.
So I'm just gonna not do it, and I'll listen to my cousin
Barb who had a kid who died already or whatever, you know, Like
they'll listen to somebody who doesn't really have the best advice for them in their
situation either, and they'll just keep going along their way, and then bad
things will happen. For them, that is that is a real thing.
And even with us. We have the two seventeen Recovery Center here and we
had a gambler's anonymous meeting here, or not a gambler's anonymous meeting because they
were like, we're already to give us money and I was like, hey,
we're not trying to do that. So we had like a gambling support
meeting and some people came, but they didn't want to be lumped in with
the drunks and the junkies, right, so it was like, like for
real that it. I remember I sat in a meeting at rehab where someone
sat across the table for me and was like, well, at least I
don't stick needles in my arms, and I was like, yeah, but
I have all my teeth, like you know, pick your battles, mister
man like, and detoxing from alcohol is way worse than detoxing from some other
drugs, like you know, or can be like and deadly, but it
but those barriers existed. It's funny how people cling onto their like, well
I go to AA not NA, like I'm not at least I'm not a
gambler. Yeah, it's so crazy and I was talking to a woman downstate
over the weekend and she was telling me it was it was comical because I
did call the eight hundred number on the gambling thing, and it's like the
little bitty, tiny little number you see at the bottom of commercials and call
this a big gambu problem. And Michigan, boy, we're all on that,
man. We're all about helping people. Yo. As. Yeah,
so you call that number here in Michigan and it takes you to a place
where if you want help immediately, you're not gonna get it. They're going
to tell you that they're going to hook you up with a counselor and they're
going to call you back. How long does it got your ass? How
long does that take? Do they call you back? Yeah? I don't
know, it could take a while. So I said, well, I
need help now the issues and she's like, okay, well hold on,
let me put you through. Okay, well, we're gonna get you.
And I had to kind of come clean to SOID like, look, lady,
I'm there's just a crying out there and we're trying to apply for it.
I'm just calling this number because they keep saying we have to have this
number in there, and I want to know what happens when I call the
number. Yeah, he's like, well, this is what happens. I
said, okay, so what if I want to go to impatient treatment And
she's like, oh, well in Michigan. She's like, there is one
one place. I said, okay, there's one place in Michigan. Yep,
it's for men only. Iaid oh, okay fifty five and older.
Oh oh but okay, Wow, I have a game of problem though.
Yeah, we'll get someone to call you back. Oh what you know,
how many jeff millions and billions? Fires? Like the state profited like took
home like you know when you get your check and then they take out all
money and then send it to wherever. One point three billion. Wow.
And out of that they already gave the schools a million dollars. I was
like, oh shit, really a million? Whoo yeah, And they're like
proud about that's the most we've ever given back to schools. Like wait,
out of one point three billion, you gave a million. That's that's uh,
that's so generous. Wow, that's freaking sweet. Thanks. There's there's
a lot of room for improvement in a lot of areas. Yeah, and
that's uh, you know, like, how do you it's hard to quantify
gambling, you know, Like I mean, I guess it's not because when
you don't have anything left because you've gambled it all away, like that's what
addiction feels like, Yes, but you're right, it's so similar. And
one therapist who went to school for a bunch of years or whatever, he
explained to me the same. He's like, look, when someone hears those
danding or when they pull into the parking lot of a casino, or when
they get their phone and they see, oh, here's a parlay for Brett
Farves. Is he gonna prett fire? I'm dating myself. Now, who's
Patrick Mahomes? You know? Is he gonna throw three touchdowns and run for
ten yards? You know? Bet this now? And oh, they get
that same Like when I would hear that receipt printing out at the liquor store.
Yeah, like I would get that like that. It was the beginning
before I even took the drink, you know. So it's the same thing
for them. The same triggers are going through their mind and it takes it
over the same way. You know, we use the substance, and that
in some way makes it easier for us because we can blame the alcohol,
we can blame the drugs, you know. For them, it's just like
you're bad people. You gamble, You're horrible, you bad person, You
lost the house. Piece of shit. Yeah, why do you do that?
Don't do that well? And I went to the conference last year and
the guy was explaining it, like those people find it even harder when they
do lose because they want to win it all back for the family. They
don't want to win it for themselves. They want to win it to buy
their husband. I want to buy the house. I want to pay it
off, right, I want to I'm going to put my son through college.
I want to buy them a new car. I want to give them
those things. It's not even for them, They're not like I want to
win it so I can take a cruise. No, it's it's so I
can take my husband to hear or I can do this for other people.
And that's that's the crazy part about it. And they're the ones getting all
the blame of being bad people, and then they reach out for help and
well, maybe they'll call me back today or tomorrow if you're fifty five and
older and mail, then you can go to impatient. Yeah for women,
nap, Sorry for you, Thanks to governor, my mom's governor. I
always say that, not mine's who is she about done anyway. That's not
to get political or anything. I'm just saying, these are the facts of
what happens here with with people in gambling addiction. And I was talking to
somebody over the weekend which started this whole thing here, and she said that
the reason why it makes a special license to be able to be therapy or
therapist or whatever people with gambling disorder, and the suicide rate is so high
that and the insurance rate on that is jacked up because the suicide rate is
so high that people don't touch it. And so like up here, I
think there's two all all northern Michigan. There's two people that will handle it.
Down I guess state downstate where she said there's none. Wow, So
you call that number, you'll be waiting for a long ass time. That's
insane and that's unfortunate, is what that is. Yeah, gambling scares me
like it have only been to a casino, Like I can count it on
one hand. And we're just just like the other guy that was across the
table from you, going, we'll lose no noodles, right, you know,
at least we didn't. It's just an opportunity away from us. You
know, at least we didn't have that, because if you would have wanted
the casino that one time or two times, and you would have won ten
grand, bing bing bing bing. That's all it takes. And I think
they think, God that that never happened to me, and hours lost money
and I don't really find it all. I have fun to lose money,
especially when I had to buy alcohol. Right, Yes, it's like one
am I I wouldn't know. I can't lose money. But for those people
that they get tricked into it, and it's just a fun game and it's
acceptable. It sounds real familiar, doesn't it. Drink up, that's right.
Just drink responsibly. Cheer fault cheerfaul, gamble responsibly. They've they've even
stole from the alcohol little scam that they have going out, drink responsibly,
gamble responsibly. Have you noticed, uff me. Have you you watched TV?
I'm sure Netflix, whatever, have you noticed the increase in smoking in
TV shows? Watch it? Look at what every show that I watch now
cigarettes and you know why, because vaping is so popular right now. Like
I think that they have really amped up every show that I watch, like
and now that I'm paying attention to it, like it is literally we're watching
Tokyo Vice right now, like, which is really good. H Every single
scene there is someone with a cigarette in their hand smoking like smoke. I
used to for a little while, off and on. I smoked for I
don't know, fifteen years maybe more, And even to this day. If
I'm watching a movie and like you just said, here they are smoking,
I get the urge to smoke. Oh yeah. If they're drinking, I
don't, I have no like, no I want to go drink that.
But when they smoke, when they light up, I always find myself grabbing
my vapes. I'm like, mm, yeah, I need smoke a cigarette,
even though I know it tastes like shit. Yes, And I always
ask myself, like, how did you don't how did you smoke for all
those years? Man? Like you smell like that? Yeah, well,
because you can't smell it when you're in it, like you really your nose
doesn't smell it and it you know, like and I get that same thing
too, which is what they want. Like that's exactly why I think.
And so I was doing some research to read a little bit about it,
and it says said and what I read was that big tobacco isn't as regulated
in streaming services, like it's a lot harder to regulate that. And so
now that we're all watching streaming services, like that's why it's back in and
I keep making excisis I'm like, oh, yeah, well this is said
in Japan, like there's a huge smoking culture in Asian countries, or this
show is said in the nineteen forties, like everyone smoked back then. But
one of the articles that I was reading actually said that there were less people
smoking in those time periods, like early nineteen hundreds, where we all assumed
that they were all smoking like then they actually are today or were a couple
of years ago. It's not as popular as it was. But get ready
here comes do you believe our grandparents used to go into restaurants and eat their
meal with a cigarette there? My great uncle died of lung cancer, but
he had so many Marborough points that he could fly around the long Yeah like
he right, but he that's one of the things that's one of the only
things I know about him is that he had this insane amount of marble points.
I just got an idea, and I'm just gonna tell you my other
ideas of people have used them that they've come true. But what if we
started selling cigarettes that ruins people's lungs. But but we'll have some really smart
people make like lungs And so with ten thousand packs you get free long.
Don't think that's not happening already, like because I mean, how long is
how much is it? Especially with the three D printers? Right, man,
Just get some smart people figured out for us, and we'll pay them
handsomely. But like, there you go. You're welcome America. Jeff Today,
Governor and Lieutenant Governor Michigan next election, vote for us making lungs.
I've been looking for another person. And we'll just take turns, which like
one week you'll be governor, next week I'll be governor, and we'll just
flip back and forth. We'll really confuse them, like there you go.
Nothing says we can't do that, you know, because we're addicts former addicts,
and you know, we we know the loopholes and We'll push it right
to the edge and just keep going with it. So true. So now
that we're rich, what do you want to do with it? Buy some
lungs? What even these rich today? Yeah? Seriously No. Now we
can start buying like other stuff. I guess yes, because that's what America
is all about, is buying stuff, buy consumerism. What I like about
now is I can live comfortable and I don't have to look at my bank
acount every day. I'm almost there. I've got one more year, have
some debt to pay off for my active edition, and I've done it twice
now. Like you know, when I was in my early twenties, I
had thirteen thousand dollars in credit card debt. Oh damn. Yeah. They
just kept giving me credit cards and I just kept using them. I love
how this game works, I know. And yeah, except then they wanted
their money back. And that was before I was I was thinking about this
the other day, like, because that was before they've passed some legislation where
those credit card companies can't harass you like they used to and tell me that
they were going to come to my house and arrest me if I didn't pay
my debts. Like and I was, and I was just you know,
like early twenties, and I was. I was terrified. I was like,
oh my god, these people are gonna come to my house and arrest
me, Like can they do that? And no they can't. But uh
it took I think four years and I zeroed out that debt, like because
you can do it. Uh. And that's kind of where I'm at now,
like I'm rebuilding and trying to I racked up some credit card debt,
did some shady things to get some money really quick. Uh, and now
I'm trying to pay all those debts off. So I got one more year,
but I'm getting a lot closer to that, you know. Uh,
if the cost of things would just stop going up like then you know,
but it'll feel so good it already does you get to that point like you
can see the being this close where I can Yeah, I can see an
end. Ah. Yes, it's such a such a relief to know that,
you know, like that, I and an accomplishment like I feel.
I feel really good about myself that I was able to do that, especially
because I'm not in a relationship, like so I have to do it all
at all by myself, like, which isn't propped up as often as it
needs to be. Like this society is built on having two people. A
dual income is definitely preferred. I would like to sign up for those you
know, where do I sign up for a dual income? Like? I
don't necessarily need a partner, but I would love to have someone else's income
in my life, please and uh and and I've been fortunate enough to have
a roommate, Luily that that's I'm as close as I've ever been to having
a dual income, which is which is probably why life is getting a little
bit easier, like someone to share the cost with, but accomplishing all that
stuff, like it's it's huge. It could be on a dating game,
Yeah I could. Yes, you probably haven't had a date at this age
yet, Correy correyo. It's uh, it's an extra special experience out there
in northern Michigan. Let me tell you, you just got to deny the
ones that you really want. It's like, no, and those dating apps
are just as like their problem for me, just as much as going to
the to the game, constantly checking to see if they are new people.
Yeah, like to to get messages I redownloaded Grinder this past like I hadn't
had it since I got clean, because a large part of my addiction was
spending time on there. And it is this thing like where you're constantly like
scrolling to see new faces and then someone messages you. And my roommate went
away for the weekend and I downloaded it, and I spent my entire weekend
on this stupid app. I didn't do anything else, like, I just
sat there and every time I was like, all right, well I'm gonna
get away from this. I'll go away, and then someone messages you,
and so then you're back in it like and it I was like, oh,
so I deleted it. I got rid of it again because it was
an in and talk to my I called my sponsor too. I was like,
ah, we need to talk. So you didn't meet anybody interesting or
not really. There were a couple of conversations that that were okay, but
but you know, it's one of the challenges with grinders, specifically in my
personal opinion, is especially when you get into a smaller community like this,
there are a lot of people on there for different reasons, and generally speaking,
in a large city, when I used it in Sydney, Like you've
got all these people within a thousand feet of you, like it, which
is super close, and everybody's there to hook up, like, but when
you get out here, like you've got people who are trying to like explore
their sexuality or who don't know, you know, like what they even want
to do, like, and so there's these blank profiles you don't even know
who you're talking to, Like there are people on there who just want to
you know, Like for me, I've gotten clean, there's only one place
in town to meet queer people, like, and it's at Sidetracks, which
is a bar, you know, And when I was in drug court,
I couldn't even go there for three years. So it's like how do you
even meet other people to potentially date? And so you've got all these people
on there for all these different reasons, like and it's really it's a lot
of muddy water to navigate through to try to just have like a decent conversation
or to have, you know, like whatever it is that you want to
do. Like there's too many things and not enough people on there to make
it all one place. But there's not a perfect there's no perfect app for
that. Yeah, even if you create when I was just thinking, like
it's farmer you know, because there's farmers or whatever, farmers only or whatever.
They're just don't enough people up here to be on it. And even
if you did, somebody asshole will get on there and screw it all up.
And people playing games, like you said, those people that don't know
nothing. They're playing games, but well some of them are, but some
of them they don't know what they want. And you're like, look,
I'm not trying to waste my time. I just want to find someone I
can hang out with, someone I like, so when I can fall in
love with, that's it, you know, Like to not even be able
to hit the ground running with that, it's got to be tough. And
to go to a bar to meet them, like come on now, Like
that's right, And I'm really good at attracting a few things. Someone who
is already in a relationship, which no shade on that, like is fine,
but I don't want to be someone's third I want to be someone's only.
And also people who are going to move away like thousands of miles within
like a week. The number of people that I've met that have been attracted
to. They're like, oh, but I'm moving to California tomorrow, like
wamp wamp But you know, and we're a tourist town, so a lot
of the people that are on those apps, especially in the summertime, like,
are just here for a weekend or a week and and I'm not good
at long distance, Like I don't even want to go to Walmart sometimes because
I'm afraid it's too far away. Like you know, I was just gonna
say, have you looked at other cities, because you never know? But
yeah, that's not a thing. And I'm not moving. I've done.
I've moved across the world. I've moved across the country because I lived in
California. I moved from South Carolina to California. I moved back from California
to South Carolina. I moved to Michigan. I'm not interested in moving anymore.
I'll just be single forever if I need to. But I'm staying here.
Everything happens to me, that's right. For a reason. Everything happens
at the time it's supposed to, that's right, you know. Like when
I met Marnie, it was and I tried to push her away and then
she was like no, but and Marnie was everything I was asking God for.
I was like, God, I want a woman that's gonna love me
like I love how I want this. I wanted to be good, you
know. And then Marnie falls in my lap pretty much, well not like
that. I'm just saying, you know, like yeah, but and then
I'm like no, no, no, And then like God, I was
like no, Like that's what you've been praying for. I here you go.
And then you deny it because what you're going to screw it up?
You know, Like come on, man, you gotta have faith. But
sometimes he'll put people in it, write it in your life right when they
need to be. I'm better for society when I'm single. I've already decided
that I've done some really amazing stuff. And it's funny because that story that
you tell. I met my best friend in Sydney that uh, that same
way, she said a prayer, made a list of how she wanted this
perfect guy, and the next night she met me on the dance floor at
a bar and and we have been best friends ever since. I was just
back in Australia last last this time last year, and I love her dearly.
Her name is Mara, but she may and she told me like she
cause she told me this a couple of weeks later, like after we started
getting really close. She's like, oh my god, Like I asked for
the perfect man. I just forgot to specify that I needed him to be
straight, and so instead she got me, you know, like and and
we are soulmates. Like she's just so amazing, like and so you're right
like it it does, you know, and I have I am certainly not
complaining, like because even though I have been single most of my life,
I have done and seen that someday I need to write a book, Like
I just need someone to come in and do that for me, because that's
not that's not going to be me. But I have some stories to sell,
like and again I'm excited to share some of that tomorrow night. Yes,
I'm excited as well. And of course, if you can't make it
tomorrow, look for the video. Maybe by Christmas. No, it'll be
done before. I don't know. I got a baby on the way May,
so I should probably get it done quick. Yeah you better, yeah,
get that done quick. But Jeff, I appreciate you coming in today.
To our studio, to our office slash studio. I don't know to
even call it, but yeah, I appreciate you coming in and being on
the podcast today, and I really look forward to what you have to say
tomorrow. Man, it's going to be a great event. I'm really excited.
Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, you have to come
back and do a recap someday. Heck, I'm available. We don't have
to pay you because you're kind of a big deal, that's right. Yeah,
I am. Thanks for your listeners. Thank you please, dude,
thanks for listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. Win a bunch of free
from TO seventeen Recovery. Go to the all the website to seventeen Recovery dot com.