WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:06.120 Paul check Check and check wall too. This is the two seventeen Recovery Podcast 2 00:00:06.519 --> 00:00:10.560 with Corey Winfield and who knows as soon as he gives a tour he's gonna 3 00:00:10.599 --> 00:00:15.119 give her his heart to her too, and we'll have kids and getting married. 4 00:00:15.919 --> 00:00:23.519 That's too far. It is the twenty eighth of February twenty twenty four, 5 00:00:23.559 --> 00:00:28.719 Mine Sporty Windfield and this is the two seventeen Recovery podcast. North Studio 6 00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:32.399 is where I'm at today and a very special guest in the studio with me, 7 00:00:32.520 --> 00:00:34.600 Jeff Lane. Jeff, how are you today, Hey, Corey, 8 00:00:34.640 --> 00:00:37.280 I'm doing really well. Thanks thanks for having me. People are like Jeff 9 00:00:37.359 --> 00:00:40.320 Lang, is he the guy that plays guitar for Sticks? Just like that? 10 00:00:40.439 --> 00:00:42.200 Yeah? Yeah, sure, yeah that's me. Yep. I don't 11 00:00:42.200 --> 00:00:45.039 even know if there's a guy in Sticks that plays that, But I mean 12 00:00:45.119 --> 00:00:48.560 I don't know here nor there. That's right, you're here in the studio 13 00:00:49.159 --> 00:00:52.640 and there's a big event coming up tomorrow, at least in my eyes, 14 00:00:53.240 --> 00:00:58.640 to seventeen Recoveries event. It's Recovery Stories Message of Hope Part two. Oh 15 00:00:58.719 --> 00:01:02.240 yeah, and we and I asked you to be the headliner. Bro oh 16 00:01:02.399 --> 00:01:04.200 so exciting, Thanks for having me. No pressure whatsoever. Yeah, none, 17 00:01:04.239 --> 00:01:08.319 But I can handle it. It is cool because how we do it 18 00:01:08.400 --> 00:01:11.920 is we start off like four people who tell recovery stories. Now this isn't 19 00:01:11.959 --> 00:01:15.239 your whole life story. These are just like little pieces of it, and 20 00:01:15.239 --> 00:01:18.760 they're usually about three to five minutes long, so it kind of moves along 21 00:01:18.760 --> 00:01:22.159 pretty quick. And it's interesting because you get to hear about people and then 22 00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:26.000 the message of hope part and that's where you come in, Jeff. You 23 00:01:26.040 --> 00:01:27.920 know, Mike is going to get up there and then you're going to follow 24 00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:30.159 him to kind of close it down again. No pressure, man, Yeah 25 00:01:30.280 --> 00:01:33.760 right, Mike's a hard act to follow. Yeah, no pressure, no 26 00:01:33.799 --> 00:01:38.319 pressure whatsoever. So I can bring it. But I think you're pretty pumped. 27 00:01:38.359 --> 00:01:41.079 And you know, it's like one of those things where even if you 28 00:01:41.159 --> 00:01:45.319 mess up, it's your story, your life. You're telling it like there 29 00:01:45.400 --> 00:01:49.799 really should be no pressure. There's not, no and I mean it's just 30 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:53.719 an opportunity to get to tell just a snippet. You know, I think 31 00:01:53.719 --> 00:01:56.480 I can handle it. There's I've got I don't know if you know this 32 00:01:56.560 --> 00:01:57.959 or not, Corey, but I'm kind of a big deal. So yeah, 33 00:01:59.159 --> 00:02:00.519 that's what I mean. That's why we had you headline it for us. 34 00:02:00.560 --> 00:02:07.239 The real challenge is fitting my life into ten or fifteen minutes like we're 35 00:02:07.239 --> 00:02:09.439 hoping you do like thirty thirty five. Oh sweet, well even better like 36 00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:13.479 but still it's there's a lot I've done. I've done a lot, I've 37 00:02:13.479 --> 00:02:16.080 seen some things. Yeah, and that's the tough part about telling the stories. 38 00:02:16.120 --> 00:02:19.199 And we've all the people in recovery, I would say we all, 39 00:02:19.240 --> 00:02:23.680 I would say most of us have been to a place where it's a speaker 40 00:02:23.719 --> 00:02:27.000 meeting. You get up there and these people are asked to fill an hour 41 00:02:27.120 --> 00:02:32.680 sometimes and they've never spoken publicly, you know, and so they're they're telling 42 00:02:32.719 --> 00:02:36.479 stuff and sometimes they call it, you know, speaking out of church. 43 00:02:36.520 --> 00:02:38.280 You know. They're well, my brother and he was like alcohol looking them 44 00:02:38.319 --> 00:02:40.360 my mom and you're like, oh, you know, how about we just 45 00:02:40.520 --> 00:02:44.840 we talk about you, buddy, how about hear your story and okay, 46 00:02:44.840 --> 00:02:46.520 you can say that your family upbringing wasn't the best. Okay, cool, 47 00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:51.680 But like they'll start like call calling people out. And I did the same 48 00:02:51.719 --> 00:02:53.439 thing the first time I told my story, and I had apologized to all 49 00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:58.599 the people that I that I kind of threw under the bus because hey, 50 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:01.520 nobody held alcohol to my face and poured it on my throat. I did 51 00:03:01.560 --> 00:03:05.400 that. So there you go. That's that's who's to blame this guy, 52 00:03:05.840 --> 00:03:07.280 you know, and blame the alcohol, sure, but like I will still 53 00:03:07.360 --> 00:03:10.400 like blame it x's and oh, well she did this and since she drank 54 00:03:12.039 --> 00:03:14.560 alcohol, like there was hard liquor that I had to drink alcohol that was 55 00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:15.840 hard liquor, and that's what really got messed up, you know. And 56 00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:19.280 I'm like listen to it like a year or two later, and I was 57 00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:22.240 like, oh my god, like that is so bad. Like and the 58 00:03:22.280 --> 00:03:25.080 trick is to you know, like also keeping it focused on that message of 59 00:03:25.080 --> 00:03:28.599 hope, like you said, you know, not getting lost. I've heard 60 00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:31.599 a lot of speakers too that that get lost in the like where I was 61 00:03:31.719 --> 00:03:36.400 and just how bad it was. And uh And that's the thing that I 62 00:03:36.400 --> 00:03:38.000 try to remind myself of is that you know, like we all know how 63 00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:43.960 bad it was, like because we lived it, and that doesn't necessarily, 64 00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:47.879 you know, impact how it's affected my life. I mean it does, 65 00:03:47.960 --> 00:03:52.280 but you know, you don't need to know every single detail of what I 66 00:03:52.280 --> 00:03:57.759 did and where I was, and I've had public speaking training like because again 67 00:03:57.840 --> 00:04:00.360 I'm kind of a big deal. When I lived in Sydney, uh in 68 00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:05.719 Australia, like we so, I'm also HIV positive and when I was diagnosed, 69 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:10.520 I went through a training to become a plic public speaker. About that 70 00:04:10.680 --> 00:04:14.159 so nice. It was like a I think it was like a weekend that 71 00:04:14.199 --> 00:04:16.639 we did a Friday, Saturday, Sunday kind of thing and uh and and 72 00:04:16.720 --> 00:04:21.360 it was free and uh, just a way to really practice, you know, 73 00:04:21.439 --> 00:04:26.920 how you speak and what you say and uh, you know, carrying 74 00:04:27.040 --> 00:04:33.879 that theme of a message like and not getting lost. Uh yeah, no, 75 00:04:33.959 --> 00:04:39.000 and and it's easy, It's easy. It's amazing. When I was 76 00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:43.160 in grade school too, uh or middle school, I was in the Gifted 77 00:04:43.160 --> 00:04:47.120 and Talented program and we did public speaking stuff then too, where uh other 78 00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:50.120 students would sit there and you would have to give a speech and they would 79 00:04:50.160 --> 00:04:56.399 count the number of times that you said uh then like and then tell you 80 00:04:56.519 --> 00:05:00.920 later and uh and uh it's you know, like you you don't notice that 81 00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:05.800 you put these sentence and answers into your sentences and then spend more time making 82 00:05:05.839 --> 00:05:11.120 those sounds than actually collecting your thoughts. Yeah. That was a huge crutch 83 00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:14.720 for me back in my early days on the radio, and I don't know 84 00:05:14.759 --> 00:05:16.959 how long it took me to break it, but then you find new ones 85 00:05:17.240 --> 00:05:20.720 and I was like, oh, like like I handed my program director of 86 00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:23.639 my demo or whatever the air check and I'm like, here you go. 87 00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:25.720 And I was all proud. I'm like, I didn't say uh one time, 88 00:05:26.680 --> 00:05:29.399 like you just robust it. Yeah, you're saying butt a lot, 89 00:05:30.319 --> 00:05:32.759 all the butts. Yeah, it's just something I do now, you know. 90 00:05:32.839 --> 00:05:38.240 And I like weird butts. That's It's like I like booties, that's 91 00:05:38.360 --> 00:05:40.959 right, So now you put them into my senses. Yeah, you replace 92 00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:44.600 one crutch with another. It's it's not unlike addiction. Yeah, it's very 93 00:05:44.600 --> 00:05:48.000 similar to that. So tomorrow you're talking and just for people that are going 94 00:05:48.040 --> 00:05:51.000 to be there, it's recovery stories. Much of Hope Part two. It's 95 00:05:51.000 --> 00:05:54.600 at the Traverse City Event Center, which is also known as a Travers City 96 00:05:54.600 --> 00:05:59.600 Comedy Club. Really cool event If it's about one five fifty, I think 97 00:05:59.639 --> 00:06:01.199 it'll be hacked. It's a neat little venue, it really is. You 98 00:06:01.199 --> 00:06:04.639 would never know that it was there if I hadn't been there a couple times. 99 00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:09.399 Yeah, it's kind of sneaky off to the left off South Garfield. 100 00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:13.079 All the details are at two seventeen recovery dot com. But for those of 101 00:06:13.079 --> 00:06:15.720 you who can't make it, who maybe live in Sydney, Australia, or 102 00:06:15.879 --> 00:06:19.800 in Dallas, Texas, or Fort Smith, Arkansas, or Colomba, Michigan, 103 00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:23.319 or maybe even Grand Rapids. For those of you who can't make it, 104 00:06:23.680 --> 00:06:28.040 we're gonna film it nice and you can see it online as soon as 105 00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:30.279 I put it all together, which usually takes some time because I got other 106 00:06:30.319 --> 00:06:34.040 things going on, but I will have it together. We did last one 107 00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:42.800 last October and I just got it completed, the whole thing like a month 108 00:06:42.800 --> 00:06:47.160 ago, so that's you know, it's progress not perfection. Yeah, because 109 00:06:47.240 --> 00:06:49.879 we have four cameras that are shooting it, so you got to kind of 110 00:06:49.879 --> 00:06:54.279 put it together. And then the last time, and you know, at 111 00:06:54.279 --> 00:06:57.959 the last event, the first event, I wasn't as nervous and I was 112 00:06:58.040 --> 00:07:01.560 even doing a story but talking of people that I actually like that so that 113 00:07:01.759 --> 00:07:06.839 wasn't concerning. But now I have expectations of how this one should go. 114 00:07:08.120 --> 00:07:13.040 Oh because last time, like Mary jumps on the stage because I guess she 115 00:07:13.079 --> 00:07:15.639 didn't know there were stairs, so she like just climbs up on the from 116 00:07:15.639 --> 00:07:18.079 the side. I'm like, what is she doing? And she refuses to 117 00:07:18.079 --> 00:07:20.480 sit in the chair or use the chair, so she pushes the chair away 118 00:07:20.959 --> 00:07:24.839 and then stands off to the side, and the microphone just had this shadow 119 00:07:24.920 --> 00:07:28.680 right on her face. Yeah. It was like is that a microphone shadow? 120 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:30.879 Like r on her face the whole time, like ah, And I'm 121 00:07:30.920 --> 00:07:34.319 trying to cut cameras and one of our cameras is kind of a long shot 122 00:07:34.360 --> 00:07:38.120 and people keep walking in front of it, so then you have to like 123 00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:40.480 edit it out to where like, okay, that doesn't happen. And then 124 00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:42.959 but then you cut to the other end, there's a big shadow on Mary's 125 00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:45.600 face. I'm like, ah, Now, you know though, like those 126 00:07:45.600 --> 00:07:48.199 are things that you'll be able to do beforehand mentioned to the speakers as you 127 00:07:48.319 --> 00:07:50.879 talk, don't do this, don't do that, by the way, Yeah, 128 00:07:51.079 --> 00:07:56.199 and kind of microphone shadow on your face. The other guy had a 129 00:07:56.399 --> 00:08:01.560 like a life not a life vest. He was up there hoping he wouldn't 130 00:08:01.600 --> 00:08:05.920 drown like a little jacket on. You know what I'm saying. I don't 131 00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:09.519 know the reflective jacket. I don't nobody. He kept moving. Kate came 132 00:08:09.560 --> 00:08:13.079 straight from the construction site, like I don't even know what they're called. 133 00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:16.319 Man that Michael J. Fox used to wear or he wore back to the 134 00:08:16.360 --> 00:08:20.439 future, that's reflection, so that if you are going to get run over, 135 00:08:20.600 --> 00:08:26.079 just in case, you know, cow cars wearing man just people know 136 00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:28.240 the orange one that he wore. I don't know whatever they're called. That's 137 00:08:28.240 --> 00:08:33.240 that's what he was wearing. And we have little mics that we pin on 138 00:08:33.320 --> 00:08:37.519 people, and he kept moving and it was just He's like telling a story 139 00:08:37.600 --> 00:08:41.799 like here. So I'm like, okay, I got a note to self 140 00:08:41.840 --> 00:08:46.240 not to do that. That's you know, tell people you know where something. 141 00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:50.240 Do you know what you're wearing clothes? Okay, cool, so the 142 00:08:50.240 --> 00:08:54.960 clothes that you wear, yeah, not noisy clothes. Yeah. And other 143 00:08:56.039 --> 00:08:58.159 than that, I think it should be pretty good, though I know a 144 00:08:58.200 --> 00:09:01.120 lot of people are going to be there. Expectations are super high for this 145 00:09:01.159 --> 00:09:05.000 one. I'm excited for me, I really am. I think it's it's 146 00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:09.759 I love hearing other people's stories as well and getting to be a part. 147 00:09:09.960 --> 00:09:13.279 You know. One of the best things about getting clean and being in recovery 148 00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:16.559 is like getting more active in the community and meeting these amazing people, Like 149 00:09:16.639 --> 00:09:20.639 we all have so many skills and talents, and you know, and we 150 00:09:20.639 --> 00:09:24.679 were just wasting those away, you know, interactive addiction. Isn't that crazy? 151 00:09:24.799 --> 00:09:30.440 Yeah? And you think, how old are you? Jeff forty one? 152 00:09:30.720 --> 00:09:33.399 Forty one? Okay, So when you look back, do you think, 153 00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:37.879 Man, I could have accomplished so much more. I mean, I 154 00:09:37.879 --> 00:09:41.759 think we all do. But we have to come to terms and accept the 155 00:09:41.759 --> 00:09:46.039 fact that we are where we are today for a reason. It. Yeah, 156 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:48.480 I mean, you know, there are I could be living in a 157 00:09:48.519 --> 00:09:52.799 foreign country, like I could have potentially pulled that off if I hadn't chosen 158 00:09:52.879 --> 00:09:58.320 drugs instead of spending instead of spending the time that I should have been using 159 00:09:58.360 --> 00:10:03.080 to like to actually actively get a way to stay in that country. So 160 00:10:03.240 --> 00:10:07.440 but you know, like like you just said, like it, everything has 161 00:10:07.480 --> 00:10:09.799 happened the way that it has needed to happen so that I can end up 162 00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:13.639 here today, Like I can make a bigger difference now knowing and experiencing those 163 00:10:13.679 --> 00:10:18.960 things than I could have then. But man, uh, drug users are 164 00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:24.519 some creative people, Like there's some if you think about all the different ways 165 00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:28.080 that we managed to like you know, it's I don't I don't recommend breaking 166 00:10:28.159 --> 00:10:31.759 the law, but all the different ways that we broke the laws and and 167 00:10:31.879 --> 00:10:33.559 got away with the stuff that we got away with, like for so long 168 00:10:33.639 --> 00:10:37.600 before we finally got caught. If we got caught, you know, like 169 00:10:37.639 --> 00:10:41.840 there's there's some skill sets in there that we are finally getting to tap into. 170 00:10:41.919 --> 00:10:43.559 And that's that's an exciting thing to watch. Like I love watching people 171 00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:48.080 get clean and find like what it is that they're actually good at, what 172 00:10:48.159 --> 00:10:54.480 makes them gives them purpose? Yeah, like you you making the world a 173 00:10:54.480 --> 00:10:58.120 better place, getting these people where they need to go, Like what is 174 00:10:58.159 --> 00:11:01.200 part of it? I was just talking about that with somebody the other day, 175 00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:05.159 like what a what a blessing you are like and this two one seven, 176 00:11:05.919 --> 00:11:09.879 you know, like what you guys are doing because realistically, like that's 177 00:11:09.960 --> 00:11:11.519 the step that you know, like even for me, Like when I wanted 178 00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:18.639 to get clean, I was in South Carolina and I so desperately wanted to 179 00:11:18.639 --> 00:11:22.440 get clean and I wanted to go to a long term recovery facility And there 180 00:11:22.440 --> 00:11:26.639 were two of them in South Carolina and the first one I called in Charleston 181 00:11:28.480 --> 00:11:31.360 wanted two thousand dollars up front to walk in the door. And and the 182 00:11:31.360 --> 00:11:35.320 guy literally said to me, because I was like, well, I'm an 183 00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:37.399 addict, Like I don't have two thousand dollars and he and he literally said, 184 00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:41.039 can't you borrow that from someone? And I was like, do you 185 00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:43.840 know how addiction works? Like if I had two grand right now, we 186 00:11:43.840 --> 00:11:46.759 would not be on the phone. I would have two thousand dollars with the 187 00:11:46.840 --> 00:11:50.240 drugs right here next to me, like. And then the second place I 188 00:11:50.279 --> 00:11:54.840 called, you know, they wanted like fourteen hundred dollars even and I had 189 00:11:54.879 --> 00:11:58.279 health insurance and I was like, what do you mean, Like I have 190 00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:01.960 insurance. You can't even you know, you can't even accommodate that and and 191 00:12:03.080 --> 00:12:05.159 uh and he said, you know, unfortunately not. And it wasn't until 192 00:12:05.200 --> 00:12:07.120 like a week later that he called me back and he said, you know, 193 00:12:07.200 --> 00:12:09.919 like we've got some scholarship money that if you still really want to come, 194 00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:13.960 you can you can do that. And luckily I had a friend that 195 00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:18.159 took me because it was an hour and a half away. This place that 196 00:12:18.200 --> 00:12:22.200 I went to out in the middle of the backwoods of South Carolina. Yeah, 197 00:12:22.279 --> 00:12:24.000 No, it really was. It was in the middle of nowhere. 198 00:12:24.679 --> 00:12:28.039 We were we were, uh, you know, this facility had like two 199 00:12:28.080 --> 00:12:31.240 trailers and uh out on a just on a plot of land, like and 200 00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:35.279 it was that's that was this recovery facility that I went to. Got you 201 00:12:35.399 --> 00:12:39.039 as I worried about. Yes, yeah, well it was you know, 202 00:12:39.480 --> 00:12:43.320 it was a good experience and and uh and it's what led me to Michigan 203 00:12:43.320 --> 00:12:46.960 too, because that's that's where I was getting clean. And uh. I 204 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:50.720 sat out under the stars one night and said to my higher power, I 205 00:12:50.759 --> 00:12:52.679 said, uh, like right before I went to bed, I was like, 206 00:12:52.679 --> 00:12:54.679 all right, I'm listening, tell me what you want me to do. 207 00:12:54.960 --> 00:12:58.960 I went in and went to bed. In the next day, excuse 208 00:12:58.000 --> 00:13:03.639 me. The next day, I was doing the dishes and we got TV 209 00:13:03.720 --> 00:13:07.519 time in the afternoon and we had something playing on in the background and in 210 00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:11.639 the background in the backwoods of South Carolina an ad for Traverse City, Michigan, 211 00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:16.399 pure Michigan King. No, it was just a pure Michigan ad for 212 00:13:16.440 --> 00:13:20.960 Traverson. Yeah. And friends of mine had already written to me in rehab 213 00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:24.279 and said, we live up here. We think you would love it, 214 00:13:24.360 --> 00:13:26.159 Like this has everything and so I'd already been thinking about it, like and 215 00:13:26.200 --> 00:13:28.600 it. You don't get a clearer sign than that. So I was like, 216 00:13:28.639 --> 00:13:33.440 all right, done deal like you know, and uh it didn't. 217 00:13:33.759 --> 00:13:37.360 I didn't stay clean after that, but I did. That was the deciding 218 00:13:37.399 --> 00:13:39.600 moment right there. I was like all right, because I was actually toying 219 00:13:39.759 --> 00:13:43.279 between here and Baltimore, Maryland, because I've got friends that live there too, 220 00:13:43.399 --> 00:13:48.919 so because I wanted out of South Carolina quite different Traverse City Baltimore, 221 00:13:50.519 --> 00:13:56.080 opposite sides of everything very much. But uh, you know what it I 222 00:13:56.399 --> 00:13:58.360 I think it took I think it took a month and I but I packed 223 00:13:58.399 --> 00:14:03.000 up and I moved up here. And it didn't start out strong, but 224 00:14:03.080 --> 00:14:07.320 it's finishing strong, so that's good. I love it here. It's beautiful. 225 00:14:07.679 --> 00:14:11.679 Yeah. You mentioned earlier being you know, a part of the community 226 00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:16.039 and stuff like that, and you're being a part of the community. You're 227 00:14:16.080 --> 00:14:20.840 the all the things. The president of the fan Traverse City chapter, how 228 00:14:20.879 --> 00:14:24.919 does that work? What is that about Families Against Narcotics which is a name 229 00:14:24.960 --> 00:14:31.240 that we're maybe changing just a fan you know, we're still getting our footing. 230 00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:39.279 So the organization started in twenty eighteen from Judge Cooney saw a need with 231 00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:43.039 a number of drug arrests and cases that were coming in across his desk, 232 00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:50.720 and so they started something to help people struggling with substance use disorder find resources 233 00:14:50.759 --> 00:14:54.799 within the community, and not just the people people struggling with substance use disorder, 234 00:14:54.799 --> 00:14:58.200 but actually their families because realistically, like it takes a village, like 235 00:14:58.279 --> 00:15:01.240 to get these people clean. You know, they've done that that rat study, 236 00:15:01.279 --> 00:15:03.519 like where they gave the rats cocaine, but the rats that had a 237 00:15:03.600 --> 00:15:07.519 village or like had friends and stuff. Yeah, yeah, Rat Park. 238 00:15:07.559 --> 00:15:11.360 You know, like they found that they all they really needed was friends and 239 00:15:11.399 --> 00:15:15.679 family to hang out with, like, and so this is about helping the 240 00:15:15.759 --> 00:15:18.759 families, and you know, it started to build some momentum, and then 241 00:15:18.799 --> 00:15:24.639 COVID happened and like some of the things that you know that we're meeting in 242 00:15:24.639 --> 00:15:28.320 person, everything went virtual and that didn't really necessarily work. So we're trying 243 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:33.159 to figure out what we're who we are and what we're doing. But we're 244 00:15:33.399 --> 00:15:39.120 getting some momentum again. We just found out that the Opioid Consortium is going 245 00:15:39.159 --> 00:15:41.000 to give us three thousand dollars, So yeah, so now we've got some 246 00:15:41.080 --> 00:15:45.799 money, so we just had to figure out what to do with that money. 247 00:15:45.840 --> 00:15:50.960 So we're we were doing forums every month. We were trying some things, 248 00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:52.320 and we we didn't have a lot of consistency. So this year we're 249 00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:56.360 going to work on that for forums this year, uh, making sure that 250 00:15:56.399 --> 00:16:02.000 those forums have content related to the faimilies. You know that this upcoming one 251 00:16:02.039 --> 00:16:06.480 in April, I believe it's April seventh. We've moved the time to an 252 00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:11.000 earlier time so it's more accommodating to families because I think seven o'clock, you 253 00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:14.200 know, I don't have kids, but were I to, that's like a 254 00:16:14.240 --> 00:16:17.480 time that you want them to be winding down, like not not coming in. 255 00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:22.360 So moving the meeting to an earlier time. We have a speaker that's 256 00:16:22.399 --> 00:16:27.159 coming who is going to talk about her experience as the parent of someone who 257 00:16:27.320 --> 00:16:33.000 is struggling with substance use disorder and how that has affected her and where she's 258 00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:36.320 going. And then we're going to try to get another speaker who is someone 259 00:16:36.320 --> 00:16:41.240 who is recovering from substance use disorder and has a family and the dynamic that 260 00:16:41.240 --> 00:16:48.200 that's created and how they've become successful you know, after addiction or as they're 261 00:16:48.200 --> 00:16:52.679 starting to get re acclimated into life. So I'm really hopeful. Like I 262 00:16:52.679 --> 00:16:56.360 think there's a lot that we can do for this community, and I think 263 00:16:56.399 --> 00:17:00.759 that there's a lot of people competing for resources too, and I want to 264 00:17:00.759 --> 00:17:03.360 try to work away from that and get us to work together, like we're 265 00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:07.000 all working for the same cause. I'd say ninety eight percent of us work 266 00:17:07.039 --> 00:17:11.319 together. Yeah good. And you know, like I'm on the advisory board, 267 00:17:11.000 --> 00:17:14.559 a fan, and I'm there just to say we need to do stuff 268 00:17:14.559 --> 00:17:18.160 together. Like the Mitch is like, are you on the advisory board. 269 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:19.359 I'm like, I'm just gonna advise them to do stuff with us, that's 270 00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:22.880 right, because we're about doing things and we have a staff of five, 271 00:17:23.079 --> 00:17:26.880 Like we can't do it all, you know. The family there's not like 272 00:17:26.960 --> 00:17:30.319 hundreds of members, you know. So it's like when you need other people, 273 00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:32.640 you know, rea reach out, come together, do it together, 274 00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:34.599 you know, Like why not. It's the same cause we're trying to help 275 00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:38.119 people. Families or the people that are struggling. They all need help. 276 00:17:38.559 --> 00:17:42.119 And that's kind of like what you said about the family members, Like people 277 00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:47.039 don't realize that they're going through it too. You know, I don't have 278 00:17:47.160 --> 00:17:48.799 kids either. I do have one on the way though, that's right. 279 00:17:49.519 --> 00:17:52.720 But when he gets here, you know, like I'm gonna have a whole 280 00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:57.640 different life. My whole life as it is now will not exist. I 281 00:17:57.680 --> 00:18:00.039 will not care what I listen to in them. I will not care when 282 00:18:00.039 --> 00:18:03.559 I listen to on the way home. It'll probably be like da da Da 283 00:18:03.799 --> 00:18:06.880 Da da da. And I'll be one hundred percent happy with that. But 284 00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:11.519 things will change in my view on things will change, and I will be 285 00:18:11.559 --> 00:18:17.559 more protective, and you know, if if something happens, I want to 286 00:18:17.559 --> 00:18:22.920 make sure that he has the best options available. And there's no book on 287 00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:25.359 that, you know, well there's there are tons of books on it, 288 00:18:25.640 --> 00:18:29.279 but there are so many people that are absolutely different, and what works for 289 00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:32.640 one person is not going to work for another. And how one mother or 290 00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:34.960 father reacts isn't going to be the right way for another one to react, 291 00:18:36.039 --> 00:18:38.839 you know, And it's just it's such a it's such a tricky thing. 292 00:18:38.880 --> 00:18:41.759 And then the whole line that I see a lot of people have problems with 293 00:18:41.960 --> 00:18:45.720 is the am I enabling? You know? But they're going to die if 294 00:18:45.720 --> 00:18:48.680 I don't help them, you know. So I need to do this, 295 00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:51.759 and I tried this, and I tried that, and it's so frustrating and 296 00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:53.559 to be able to talk to other parents, to listen and hear others some 297 00:18:55.400 --> 00:18:59.480 other ways people have tried it and it didn't or did work, you know, 298 00:18:59.559 --> 00:19:03.079 and maybe they can take that in and do it as they see fit 299 00:19:03.440 --> 00:19:07.079 for their situation and their family. But it's it's tough, but to know 300 00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:08.960 that their support out there and we don't have to hide in the basement of 301 00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:11.319 churches anymore. And there are some people that still like, no, I 302 00:19:11.359 --> 00:19:14.839 don't want anyone to know, and that's cool whatever, man. But the 303 00:19:14.839 --> 00:19:18.160 whole recovery out loud thing, I think is a huge thing to let people 304 00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:19.720 know, like, hey, I'm in recovery and there's nothing wrong with me 305 00:19:19.799 --> 00:19:22.440 changing my life for the better. That's right. I'm not ashamed of that, 306 00:19:22.559 --> 00:19:26.200 you know. That was one of my biggest fears too, getting clean, 307 00:19:26.759 --> 00:19:30.000 especially in South Carolina. I so, I have a brother who also 308 00:19:30.039 --> 00:19:33.359 struggles with substance use disorder. He's actually incarcerated right now in South Carolina. 309 00:19:33.400 --> 00:19:37.960 I'm trying to get him up here because they're just are there just are no 310 00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:44.680 resources down there, and they don't protect people's rights in the South. So 311 00:19:45.240 --> 00:19:51.319 but I, you know, I did was afraid to go to anything like 312 00:19:51.400 --> 00:19:55.039 Narcotics Synonymous because I didn't want people to see me as an addict, because 313 00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:56.359 I was afraid they were gonna lump me in the same category as him. 314 00:19:56.480 --> 00:20:03.720 And while we both struggle with since you disorder, our struggle is different. 315 00:20:03.880 --> 00:20:07.960 And you know, he has stolen from the family and and burned all the 316 00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:11.200 bridges and really had a tough time go of it. And and not that 317 00:20:11.319 --> 00:20:15.559 I didn't towards the end, but I didn't want those assumptions to be associated 318 00:20:15.559 --> 00:20:18.839 with me initially, like and you know, and and there's a lot of 319 00:20:18.839 --> 00:20:22.599 my drive as well to learn how to be a better brother and a more 320 00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:29.039 supportive family member, you know, because I've also got parents who I love, 321 00:20:29.559 --> 00:20:30.640 but I also love that they live in South Carolina, you know, 322 00:20:30.680 --> 00:20:36.000 and I live up here, and and and as wonderful and supportive as they 323 00:20:36.000 --> 00:20:41.279 have been, like they too could benefit from learning more about this disease and 324 00:20:41.359 --> 00:20:44.680 more about how to be better parents and and for the people that want those 325 00:20:44.759 --> 00:20:47.720 resources, like that's kind of what I want Fan to become you know, 326 00:20:47.880 --> 00:20:52.000 is a place where you can, uh, you know, find the resources 327 00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:55.079 and navigate that system, because there are a lot of things out there like 328 00:20:55.119 --> 00:20:59.240 that can help you know people and families, and but how do you know 329 00:20:59.559 --> 00:21:03.440 like where to begin, Like what do you know unless unless you have a 330 00:21:03.799 --> 00:21:06.640 guide who's like walking you through these things. And that's kind of one of 331 00:21:06.680 --> 00:21:07.960 the things we're going to work on this year too. It's one of our 332 00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:11.000 goals is to create these kind of welcome packets like that have a bunch of 333 00:21:11.039 --> 00:21:15.519 those resources in there, and and it tells you, like, you know, 334 00:21:15.599 --> 00:21:19.039 if if this is what you need for you know, if your family 335 00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:22.640 member is struggling kind of with these specific things, like this is who you 336 00:21:22.640 --> 00:21:23.839 can go to, Like you can go to ATS or you can call to 337 00:21:23.920 --> 00:21:27.319 one seven and they'll come get you and they'll take you to a facility like 338 00:21:27.359 --> 00:21:33.279 But you know, even even as a person struggling with substance use disorder, 339 00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:38.079 like, navigating recovery resources like is challenging, Like you're you know, in 340 00:21:38.119 --> 00:21:41.319 the midst of using drugs and doing all the things that addicts do, like, 341 00:21:41.880 --> 00:21:48.359 uh, it's it can be a really daunting system to approach, and 342 00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:53.640 I think you know in my mind, I'm hoping that this can become a 343 00:21:53.640 --> 00:21:59.279 way to better navigate that that system, find all these resources that we have 344 00:21:59.319 --> 00:22:02.720 here in the community that are working together, and help link them to each 345 00:22:02.759 --> 00:22:04.920 other, like so that we have a you know, a guide if you 346 00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:10.839 will, on like how to get how to be a supportive family member, 347 00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:15.160 like how to be what that even looks like, you know, and the 348 00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:19.160 family member sometimes you mentioned similar something to what I'm about to say, is 349 00:22:19.200 --> 00:22:23.599 they feel like they fail as parents almost and they don't want to let everybody 350 00:22:23.640 --> 00:22:27.160 know, like, hey, little Jimmy's struggling, because that makes me look 351 00:22:27.200 --> 00:22:29.799 like a bad parent. And I didn't know what I was doing. So 352 00:22:29.880 --> 00:22:32.240 let's just not show up to that because I can't because if they see my 353 00:22:32.279 --> 00:22:36.240 car there, then give me some questions and I don't want to answer them. 354 00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:38.519 So I'm just gonna not do it, and I'll listen to my cousin 355 00:22:38.559 --> 00:22:41.720 Barb who had a kid who died already or whatever, you know, Like 356 00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:45.720 they'll listen to somebody who doesn't really have the best advice for them in their 357 00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:48.759 situation either, and they'll just keep going along their way, and then bad 358 00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:52.160 things will happen. For them, that is that is a real thing. 359 00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:56.000 And even with us. We have the two seventeen Recovery Center here and we 360 00:22:56.119 --> 00:22:59.839 had a gambler's anonymous meeting here, or not a gambler's anonymous meeting because they 361 00:22:59.839 --> 00:23:00.720 were like, we're already to give us money and I was like, hey, 362 00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:04.319 we're not trying to do that. So we had like a gambling support 363 00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:10.119 meeting and some people came, but they didn't want to be lumped in with 364 00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:12.920 the drunks and the junkies, right, so it was like, like for 365 00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:18.279 real that it. I remember I sat in a meeting at rehab where someone 366 00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:22.799 sat across the table for me and was like, well, at least I 367 00:23:22.799 --> 00:23:26.039 don't stick needles in my arms, and I was like, yeah, but 368 00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:29.839 I have all my teeth, like you know, pick your battles, mister 369 00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:33.839 man like, and detoxing from alcohol is way worse than detoxing from some other 370 00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:38.160 drugs, like you know, or can be like and deadly, but it 371 00:23:38.480 --> 00:23:42.240 but those barriers existed. It's funny how people cling onto their like, well 372 00:23:42.279 --> 00:23:45.400 I go to AA not NA, like I'm not at least I'm not a 373 00:23:45.400 --> 00:23:49.519 gambler. Yeah, it's so crazy and I was talking to a woman downstate 374 00:23:49.559 --> 00:23:53.880 over the weekend and she was telling me it was it was comical because I 375 00:23:53.920 --> 00:23:57.079 did call the eight hundred number on the gambling thing, and it's like the 376 00:23:57.160 --> 00:24:00.160 little bitty, tiny little number you see at the bottom of commercials and call 377 00:24:00.200 --> 00:24:03.960 this a big gambu problem. And Michigan, boy, we're all on that, 378 00:24:04.039 --> 00:24:11.920 man. We're all about helping people. Yo. As. Yeah, 379 00:24:11.119 --> 00:24:15.519 so you call that number here in Michigan and it takes you to a place 380 00:24:15.519 --> 00:24:17.960 where if you want help immediately, you're not gonna get it. They're going 381 00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:19.000 to tell you that they're going to hook you up with a counselor and they're 382 00:24:19.000 --> 00:24:25.359 going to call you back. How long does it got your ass? How 383 00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:27.200 long does that take? Do they call you back? Yeah? I don't 384 00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:29.799 know, it could take a while. So I said, well, I 385 00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:32.480 need help now the issues and she's like, okay, well hold on, 386 00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:34.200 let me put you through. Okay, well, we're gonna get you. 387 00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:37.519 And I had to kind of come clean to SOID like, look, lady, 388 00:24:37.559 --> 00:24:41.119 I'm there's just a crying out there and we're trying to apply for it. 389 00:24:41.279 --> 00:24:42.359 I'm just calling this number because they keep saying we have to have this 390 00:24:42.440 --> 00:24:45.240 number in there, and I want to know what happens when I call the 391 00:24:45.319 --> 00:24:47.119 number. Yeah, he's like, well, this is what happens. I 392 00:24:47.160 --> 00:24:48.759 said, okay, so what if I want to go to impatient treatment And 393 00:24:48.839 --> 00:24:52.480 she's like, oh, well in Michigan. She's like, there is one 394 00:24:52.519 --> 00:24:56.319 one place. I said, okay, there's one place in Michigan. Yep, 395 00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:00.160 it's for men only. Iaid oh, okay fifty five and older. 396 00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:06.400 Oh oh but okay, Wow, I have a game of problem though. 397 00:25:06.599 --> 00:25:10.480 Yeah, we'll get someone to call you back. Oh what you know, 398 00:25:10.519 --> 00:25:15.839 how many jeff millions and billions? Fires? Like the state profited like took 399 00:25:15.880 --> 00:25:18.559 home like you know when you get your check and then they take out all 400 00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:22.400 money and then send it to wherever. One point three billion. Wow. 401 00:25:22.440 --> 00:25:25.839 And out of that they already gave the schools a million dollars. I was 402 00:25:25.839 --> 00:25:29.200 like, oh shit, really a million? Whoo yeah, And they're like 403 00:25:29.200 --> 00:25:32.599 proud about that's the most we've ever given back to schools. Like wait, 404 00:25:32.680 --> 00:25:37.279 out of one point three billion, you gave a million. That's that's uh, 405 00:25:37.319 --> 00:25:41.480 that's so generous. Wow, that's freaking sweet. Thanks. There's there's 406 00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:44.960 a lot of room for improvement in a lot of areas. Yeah, and 407 00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:48.920 that's uh, you know, like, how do you it's hard to quantify 408 00:25:48.200 --> 00:25:52.559 gambling, you know, Like I mean, I guess it's not because when 409 00:25:52.599 --> 00:25:56.799 you don't have anything left because you've gambled it all away, like that's what 410 00:25:56.839 --> 00:26:02.000 addiction feels like, Yes, but you're right, it's so similar. And 411 00:26:02.519 --> 00:26:04.839 one therapist who went to school for a bunch of years or whatever, he 412 00:26:04.880 --> 00:26:08.839 explained to me the same. He's like, look, when someone hears those 413 00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:15.440 danding or when they pull into the parking lot of a casino, or when 414 00:26:15.480 --> 00:26:18.599 they get their phone and they see, oh, here's a parlay for Brett 415 00:26:18.599 --> 00:26:22.160 Farves. Is he gonna prett fire? I'm dating myself. Now, who's 416 00:26:22.680 --> 00:26:26.279 Patrick Mahomes? You know? Is he gonna throw three touchdowns and run for 417 00:26:26.359 --> 00:26:29.000 ten yards? You know? Bet this now? And oh, they get 418 00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:32.640 that same Like when I would hear that receipt printing out at the liquor store. 419 00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:37.519 Yeah, like I would get that like that. It was the beginning 420 00:26:37.680 --> 00:26:38.920 before I even took the drink, you know. So it's the same thing 421 00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:42.039 for them. The same triggers are going through their mind and it takes it 422 00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:45.599 over the same way. You know, we use the substance, and that 423 00:26:45.720 --> 00:26:48.319 in some way makes it easier for us because we can blame the alcohol, 424 00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:51.400 we can blame the drugs, you know. For them, it's just like 425 00:26:51.519 --> 00:26:55.480 you're bad people. You gamble, You're horrible, you bad person, You 426 00:26:55.559 --> 00:26:57.880 lost the house. Piece of shit. Yeah, why do you do that? 427 00:26:57.960 --> 00:27:02.759 Don't do that well? And I went to the conference last year and 428 00:27:02.799 --> 00:27:06.200 the guy was explaining it, like those people find it even harder when they 429 00:27:06.200 --> 00:27:07.680 do lose because they want to win it all back for the family. They 430 00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:10.960 don't want to win it for themselves. They want to win it to buy 431 00:27:10.960 --> 00:27:12.400 their husband. I want to buy the house. I want to pay it 432 00:27:12.440 --> 00:27:15.519 off, right, I want to I'm going to put my son through college. 433 00:27:15.519 --> 00:27:17.160 I want to buy them a new car. I want to give them 434 00:27:17.160 --> 00:27:19.000 those things. It's not even for them, They're not like I want to 435 00:27:19.039 --> 00:27:22.559 win it so I can take a cruise. No, it's it's so I 436 00:27:22.599 --> 00:27:25.079 can take my husband to hear or I can do this for other people. 437 00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:27.359 And that's that's the crazy part about it. And they're the ones getting all 438 00:27:27.400 --> 00:27:30.799 the blame of being bad people, and then they reach out for help and 439 00:27:30.119 --> 00:27:33.880 well, maybe they'll call me back today or tomorrow if you're fifty five and 440 00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:36.799 older and mail, then you can go to impatient. Yeah for women, 441 00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:41.200 nap, Sorry for you, Thanks to governor, my mom's governor. I 442 00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:45.839 always say that, not mine's who is she about done anyway. That's not 443 00:27:45.839 --> 00:27:48.480 to get political or anything. I'm just saying, these are the facts of 444 00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:52.599 what happens here with with people in gambling addiction. And I was talking to 445 00:27:52.640 --> 00:27:56.720 somebody over the weekend which started this whole thing here, and she said that 446 00:27:56.799 --> 00:28:03.640 the reason why it makes a special license to be able to be therapy or 447 00:28:03.920 --> 00:28:10.039 therapist or whatever people with gambling disorder, and the suicide rate is so high 448 00:28:10.920 --> 00:28:15.880 that and the insurance rate on that is jacked up because the suicide rate is 449 00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:19.039 so high that people don't touch it. And so like up here, I 450 00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:23.400 think there's two all all northern Michigan. There's two people that will handle it. 451 00:28:23.400 --> 00:28:26.559 Down I guess state downstate where she said there's none. Wow, So 452 00:28:26.640 --> 00:28:30.559 you call that number, you'll be waiting for a long ass time. That's 453 00:28:30.759 --> 00:28:34.039 insane and that's unfortunate, is what that is. Yeah, gambling scares me 454 00:28:34.279 --> 00:28:40.160 like it have only been to a casino, Like I can count it on 455 00:28:40.160 --> 00:28:41.640 one hand. And we're just just like the other guy that was across the 456 00:28:41.680 --> 00:28:45.799 table from you, going, we'll lose no noodles, right, you know, 457 00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:51.240 at least we didn't. It's just an opportunity away from us. You 458 00:28:51.240 --> 00:28:52.839 know, at least we didn't have that, because if you would have wanted 459 00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:56.160 the casino that one time or two times, and you would have won ten 460 00:28:56.240 --> 00:29:00.319 grand, bing bing bing bing. That's all it takes. And I think 461 00:29:00.359 --> 00:29:03.519 they think, God that that never happened to me, and hours lost money 462 00:29:03.920 --> 00:29:04.920 and I don't really find it all. I have fun to lose money, 463 00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:08.160 especially when I had to buy alcohol. Right, Yes, it's like one 464 00:29:08.200 --> 00:29:11.200 am I I wouldn't know. I can't lose money. But for those people 465 00:29:11.240 --> 00:29:15.480 that they get tricked into it, and it's just a fun game and it's 466 00:29:15.519 --> 00:29:18.319 acceptable. It sounds real familiar, doesn't it. Drink up, that's right. 467 00:29:18.440 --> 00:29:22.519 Just drink responsibly. Cheer fault cheerfaul, gamble responsibly. They've they've even 468 00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:26.680 stole from the alcohol little scam that they have going out, drink responsibly, 469 00:29:26.759 --> 00:29:32.759 gamble responsibly. Have you noticed, uff me. Have you you watched TV? 470 00:29:32.839 --> 00:29:38.240 I'm sure Netflix, whatever, have you noticed the increase in smoking in 471 00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.079 TV shows? Watch it? Look at what every show that I watch now 472 00:29:44.920 --> 00:29:48.079 cigarettes and you know why, because vaping is so popular right now. Like 473 00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:52.440 I think that they have really amped up every show that I watch, like 474 00:29:52.519 --> 00:29:55.400 and now that I'm paying attention to it, like it is literally we're watching 475 00:29:55.440 --> 00:29:59.480 Tokyo Vice right now, like, which is really good. H Every single 476 00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:03.519 scene there is someone with a cigarette in their hand smoking like smoke. I 477 00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:07.400 used to for a little while, off and on. I smoked for I 478 00:30:07.400 --> 00:30:12.240 don't know, fifteen years maybe more, And even to this day. If 479 00:30:12.279 --> 00:30:15.680 I'm watching a movie and like you just said, here they are smoking, 480 00:30:15.799 --> 00:30:18.240 I get the urge to smoke. Oh yeah. If they're drinking, I 481 00:30:18.319 --> 00:30:21.920 don't, I have no like, no I want to go drink that. 482 00:30:22.160 --> 00:30:23.799 But when they smoke, when they light up, I always find myself grabbing 483 00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:26.440 my vapes. I'm like, mm, yeah, I need smoke a cigarette, 484 00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:30.720 even though I know it tastes like shit. Yes, And I always 485 00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:33.000 ask myself, like, how did you don't how did you smoke for all 486 00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:36.680 those years? Man? Like you smell like that? Yeah, well, 487 00:30:36.799 --> 00:30:40.359 because you can't smell it when you're in it, like you really your nose 488 00:30:40.400 --> 00:30:42.519 doesn't smell it and it you know, like and I get that same thing 489 00:30:42.519 --> 00:30:45.799 too, which is what they want. Like that's exactly why I think. 490 00:30:45.240 --> 00:30:48.759 And so I was doing some research to read a little bit about it, 491 00:30:48.759 --> 00:30:52.680 and it says said and what I read was that big tobacco isn't as regulated 492 00:30:52.839 --> 00:30:56.359 in streaming services, like it's a lot harder to regulate that. And so 493 00:30:56.599 --> 00:31:00.680 now that we're all watching streaming services, like that's why it's back in and 494 00:31:00.720 --> 00:31:03.359 I keep making excisis I'm like, oh, yeah, well this is said 495 00:31:03.359 --> 00:31:08.079 in Japan, like there's a huge smoking culture in Asian countries, or this 496 00:31:08.119 --> 00:31:11.799 show is said in the nineteen forties, like everyone smoked back then. But 497 00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:17.160 one of the articles that I was reading actually said that there were less people 498 00:31:17.160 --> 00:31:21.960 smoking in those time periods, like early nineteen hundreds, where we all assumed 499 00:31:21.960 --> 00:31:26.640 that they were all smoking like then they actually are today or were a couple 500 00:31:26.599 --> 00:31:30.119 of years ago. It's not as popular as it was. But get ready 501 00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:36.000 here comes do you believe our grandparents used to go into restaurants and eat their 502 00:31:36.039 --> 00:31:41.279 meal with a cigarette there? My great uncle died of lung cancer, but 503 00:31:41.440 --> 00:31:48.039 he had so many Marborough points that he could fly around the long Yeah like 504 00:31:48.279 --> 00:31:52.440 he right, but he that's one of the things that's one of the only 505 00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:56.960 things I know about him is that he had this insane amount of marble points. 506 00:31:56.359 --> 00:31:59.279 I just got an idea, and I'm just gonna tell you my other 507 00:31:59.359 --> 00:32:02.279 ideas of people have used them that they've come true. But what if we 508 00:32:02.440 --> 00:32:09.079 started selling cigarettes that ruins people's lungs. But but we'll have some really smart 509 00:32:09.079 --> 00:32:16.599 people make like lungs And so with ten thousand packs you get free long. 510 00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:22.480 Don't think that's not happening already, like because I mean, how long is 511 00:32:22.519 --> 00:32:28.200 how much is it? Especially with the three D printers? Right, man, 512 00:32:28.279 --> 00:32:30.720 Just get some smart people figured out for us, and we'll pay them 513 00:32:30.759 --> 00:32:37.920 handsomely. But like, there you go. You're welcome America. Jeff Today, 514 00:32:37.960 --> 00:32:42.319 Governor and Lieutenant Governor Michigan next election, vote for us making lungs. 515 00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:45.119 I've been looking for another person. And we'll just take turns, which like 516 00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:47.559 one week you'll be governor, next week I'll be governor, and we'll just 517 00:32:47.559 --> 00:32:50.920 flip back and forth. We'll really confuse them, like there you go. 518 00:32:51.039 --> 00:32:53.720 Nothing says we can't do that, you know, because we're addicts former addicts, 519 00:32:53.720 --> 00:32:57.640 and you know, we we know the loopholes and We'll push it right 520 00:32:57.680 --> 00:33:01.680 to the edge and just keep going with it. So true. So now 521 00:33:01.720 --> 00:33:05.440 that we're rich, what do you want to do with it? Buy some 522 00:33:05.519 --> 00:33:08.720 lungs? What even these rich today? Yeah? Seriously No. Now we 523 00:33:08.720 --> 00:33:14.880 can start buying like other stuff. I guess yes, because that's what America 524 00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:17.920 is all about, is buying stuff, buy consumerism. What I like about 525 00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:21.960 now is I can live comfortable and I don't have to look at my bank 526 00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:28.519 acount every day. I'm almost there. I've got one more year, have 527 00:33:28.519 --> 00:33:31.079 some debt to pay off for my active edition, and I've done it twice 528 00:33:31.119 --> 00:33:37.200 now. Like you know, when I was in my early twenties, I 529 00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:40.759 had thirteen thousand dollars in credit card debt. Oh damn. Yeah. They 530 00:33:40.880 --> 00:33:45.240 just kept giving me credit cards and I just kept using them. I love 531 00:33:45.319 --> 00:33:47.160 how this game works, I know. And yeah, except then they wanted 532 00:33:47.160 --> 00:33:52.759 their money back. And that was before I was I was thinking about this 533 00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:57.440 the other day, like, because that was before they've passed some legislation where 534 00:33:57.480 --> 00:34:00.839 those credit card companies can't harass you like they used to and tell me that 535 00:34:00.839 --> 00:34:02.599 they were going to come to my house and arrest me if I didn't pay 536 00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:06.400 my debts. Like and I was, and I was just you know, 537 00:34:06.519 --> 00:34:08.000 like early twenties, and I was. I was terrified. I was like, 538 00:34:08.039 --> 00:34:10.599 oh my god, these people are gonna come to my house and arrest 539 00:34:10.639 --> 00:34:15.519 me, Like can they do that? And no they can't. But uh 540 00:34:15.960 --> 00:34:22.360 it took I think four years and I zeroed out that debt, like because 541 00:34:22.400 --> 00:34:24.800 you can do it. Uh. And that's kind of where I'm at now, 542 00:34:24.840 --> 00:34:29.440 like I'm rebuilding and trying to I racked up some credit card debt, 543 00:34:29.519 --> 00:34:31.599 did some shady things to get some money really quick. Uh, and now 544 00:34:31.639 --> 00:34:35.039 I'm trying to pay all those debts off. So I got one more year, 545 00:34:35.559 --> 00:34:38.559 but I'm getting a lot closer to that, you know. Uh, 546 00:34:38.639 --> 00:34:43.039 if the cost of things would just stop going up like then you know, 547 00:34:43.960 --> 00:34:47.639 but it'll feel so good it already does you get to that point like you 548 00:34:47.679 --> 00:34:52.840 can see the being this close where I can Yeah, I can see an 549 00:34:52.000 --> 00:34:59.079 end. Ah. Yes, it's such a such a relief to know that, 550 00:34:59.559 --> 00:35:01.320 you know, like that, I and an accomplishment like I feel. 551 00:35:01.360 --> 00:35:06.159 I feel really good about myself that I was able to do that, especially 552 00:35:06.199 --> 00:35:07.440 because I'm not in a relationship, like so I have to do it all 553 00:35:07.480 --> 00:35:12.079 at all by myself, like, which isn't propped up as often as it 554 00:35:12.119 --> 00:35:15.639 needs to be. Like this society is built on having two people. A 555 00:35:15.719 --> 00:35:20.199 dual income is definitely preferred. I would like to sign up for those you 556 00:35:20.199 --> 00:35:22.920 know, where do I sign up for a dual income? Like? I 557 00:35:22.960 --> 00:35:25.480 don't necessarily need a partner, but I would love to have someone else's income 558 00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:30.760 in my life, please and uh and and I've been fortunate enough to have 559 00:35:30.760 --> 00:35:35.440 a roommate, Luily that that's I'm as close as I've ever been to having 560 00:35:35.480 --> 00:35:37.280 a dual income, which is which is probably why life is getting a little 561 00:35:37.280 --> 00:35:42.159 bit easier, like someone to share the cost with, but accomplishing all that 562 00:35:42.159 --> 00:35:45.079 stuff, like it's it's huge. It could be on a dating game, 563 00:35:45.320 --> 00:35:52.480 Yeah I could. Yes, you probably haven't had a date at this age 564 00:35:52.559 --> 00:35:57.159 yet, Correy correyo. It's uh, it's an extra special experience out there 565 00:35:57.400 --> 00:36:00.480 in northern Michigan. Let me tell you, you just got to deny the 566 00:36:00.519 --> 00:36:05.000 ones that you really want. It's like, no, and those dating apps 567 00:36:05.039 --> 00:36:08.119 are just as like their problem for me, just as much as going to 568 00:36:08.199 --> 00:36:12.800 the to the game, constantly checking to see if they are new people. 569 00:36:12.920 --> 00:36:17.679 Yeah, like to to get messages I redownloaded Grinder this past like I hadn't 570 00:36:17.679 --> 00:36:21.599 had it since I got clean, because a large part of my addiction was 571 00:36:22.079 --> 00:36:24.480 spending time on there. And it is this thing like where you're constantly like 572 00:36:24.519 --> 00:36:30.039 scrolling to see new faces and then someone messages you. And my roommate went 573 00:36:30.079 --> 00:36:32.519 away for the weekend and I downloaded it, and I spent my entire weekend 574 00:36:32.599 --> 00:36:36.440 on this stupid app. I didn't do anything else, like, I just 575 00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:37.679 sat there and every time I was like, all right, well I'm gonna 576 00:36:37.840 --> 00:36:39.920 get away from this. I'll go away, and then someone messages you, 577 00:36:39.960 --> 00:36:43.719 and so then you're back in it like and it I was like, oh, 578 00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:46.119 so I deleted it. I got rid of it again because it was 579 00:36:46.159 --> 00:36:49.679 an in and talk to my I called my sponsor too. I was like, 580 00:36:49.880 --> 00:36:53.519 ah, we need to talk. So you didn't meet anybody interesting or 581 00:36:54.159 --> 00:36:59.880 not really. There were a couple of conversations that that were okay, but 582 00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:06.920 but you know, it's one of the challenges with grinders, specifically in my 583 00:37:06.960 --> 00:37:09.559 personal opinion, is especially when you get into a smaller community like this, 584 00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:14.960 there are a lot of people on there for different reasons, and generally speaking, 585 00:37:14.960 --> 00:37:16.639 in a large city, when I used it in Sydney, Like you've 586 00:37:16.679 --> 00:37:20.159 got all these people within a thousand feet of you, like it, which 587 00:37:20.199 --> 00:37:22.639 is super close, and everybody's there to hook up, like, but when 588 00:37:22.679 --> 00:37:24.519 you get out here, like you've got people who are trying to like explore 589 00:37:24.559 --> 00:37:29.880 their sexuality or who don't know, you know, like what they even want 590 00:37:29.920 --> 00:37:31.440 to do, like, and so there's these blank profiles you don't even know 591 00:37:31.440 --> 00:37:36.480 who you're talking to, Like there are people on there who just want to 592 00:37:36.800 --> 00:37:38.480 you know, Like for me, I've gotten clean, there's only one place 593 00:37:38.480 --> 00:37:43.079 in town to meet queer people, like, and it's at Sidetracks, which 594 00:37:43.119 --> 00:37:45.559 is a bar, you know, And when I was in drug court, 595 00:37:45.559 --> 00:37:47.679 I couldn't even go there for three years. So it's like how do you 596 00:37:47.719 --> 00:37:53.440 even meet other people to potentially date? And so you've got all these people 597 00:37:53.519 --> 00:37:58.159 on there for all these different reasons, like and it's really it's a lot 598 00:37:58.199 --> 00:38:01.559 of muddy water to navigate through to try to just have like a decent conversation 599 00:38:01.719 --> 00:38:05.000 or to have, you know, like whatever it is that you want to 600 00:38:05.039 --> 00:38:08.800 do. Like there's too many things and not enough people on there to make 601 00:38:08.840 --> 00:38:14.880 it all one place. But there's not a perfect there's no perfect app for 602 00:38:14.920 --> 00:38:16.159 that. Yeah, even if you create when I was just thinking, like 603 00:38:17.920 --> 00:38:23.280 it's farmer you know, because there's farmers or whatever, farmers only or whatever. 604 00:38:23.719 --> 00:38:28.840 They're just don't enough people up here to be on it. And even 605 00:38:28.880 --> 00:38:31.199 if you did, somebody asshole will get on there and screw it all up. 606 00:38:31.239 --> 00:38:34.880 And people playing games, like you said, those people that don't know 607 00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:37.000 nothing. They're playing games, but well some of them are, but some 608 00:38:37.039 --> 00:38:38.440 of them they don't know what they want. And you're like, look, 609 00:38:39.000 --> 00:38:42.079 I'm not trying to waste my time. I just want to find someone I 610 00:38:42.079 --> 00:38:44.280 can hang out with, someone I like, so when I can fall in 611 00:38:44.280 --> 00:38:47.159 love with, that's it, you know, Like to not even be able 612 00:38:47.159 --> 00:38:50.440 to hit the ground running with that, it's got to be tough. And 613 00:38:50.559 --> 00:38:52.599 to go to a bar to meet them, like come on now, Like 614 00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:59.159 that's right, And I'm really good at attracting a few things. Someone who 615 00:38:59.400 --> 00:39:02.840 is already in a relationship, which no shade on that, like is fine, 616 00:39:02.880 --> 00:39:06.719 but I don't want to be someone's third I want to be someone's only. 617 00:39:07.159 --> 00:39:12.679 And also people who are going to move away like thousands of miles within 618 00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:16.719 like a week. The number of people that I've met that have been attracted 619 00:39:16.800 --> 00:39:21.320 to. They're like, oh, but I'm moving to California tomorrow, like 620 00:39:22.199 --> 00:39:24.880 wamp wamp But you know, and we're a tourist town, so a lot 621 00:39:24.880 --> 00:39:28.320 of the people that are on those apps, especially in the summertime, like, 622 00:39:28.559 --> 00:39:32.480 are just here for a weekend or a week and and I'm not good 623 00:39:32.480 --> 00:39:36.320 at long distance, Like I don't even want to go to Walmart sometimes because 624 00:39:36.320 --> 00:39:40.159 I'm afraid it's too far away. Like you know, I was just gonna 625 00:39:40.159 --> 00:39:43.119 say, have you looked at other cities, because you never know? But 626 00:39:43.159 --> 00:39:45.719 yeah, that's not a thing. And I'm not moving. I've done. 627 00:39:46.679 --> 00:39:51.199 I've moved across the world. I've moved across the country because I lived in 628 00:39:51.239 --> 00:39:53.360 California. I moved from South Carolina to California. I moved back from California 629 00:39:53.360 --> 00:39:58.119 to South Carolina. I moved to Michigan. I'm not interested in moving anymore. 630 00:39:58.199 --> 00:40:00.440 I'll just be single forever if I need to. But I'm staying here. 631 00:40:00.559 --> 00:40:05.599 Everything happens to me, that's right. For a reason. Everything happens 632 00:40:05.679 --> 00:40:08.360 at the time it's supposed to, that's right, you know. Like when 633 00:40:08.360 --> 00:40:12.400 I met Marnie, it was and I tried to push her away and then 634 00:40:12.519 --> 00:40:16.480 she was like no, but and Marnie was everything I was asking God for. 635 00:40:16.559 --> 00:40:19.199 I was like, God, I want a woman that's gonna love me 636 00:40:19.239 --> 00:40:20.920 like I love how I want this. I wanted to be good, you 637 00:40:20.920 --> 00:40:24.079 know. And then Marnie falls in my lap pretty much, well not like 638 00:40:25.960 --> 00:40:30.639 that. I'm just saying, you know, like yeah, but and then 639 00:40:30.639 --> 00:40:34.480 I'm like no, no, no, And then like God, I was 640 00:40:34.519 --> 00:40:37.800 like no, Like that's what you've been praying for. I here you go. 641 00:40:37.039 --> 00:40:40.159 And then you deny it because what you're going to screw it up? 642 00:40:40.199 --> 00:40:43.599 You know, Like come on, man, you gotta have faith. But 643 00:40:44.599 --> 00:40:47.199 sometimes he'll put people in it, write it in your life right when they 644 00:40:47.239 --> 00:40:52.239 need to be. I'm better for society when I'm single. I've already decided 645 00:40:52.239 --> 00:40:57.360 that I've done some really amazing stuff. And it's funny because that story that 646 00:40:57.400 --> 00:41:00.039 you tell. I met my best friend in Sydney that uh, that same 647 00:41:00.039 --> 00:41:05.480 way, she said a prayer, made a list of how she wanted this 648 00:41:05.559 --> 00:41:08.840 perfect guy, and the next night she met me on the dance floor at 649 00:41:08.880 --> 00:41:13.079 a bar and and we have been best friends ever since. I was just 650 00:41:13.119 --> 00:41:16.199 back in Australia last last this time last year, and I love her dearly. 651 00:41:16.280 --> 00:41:20.000 Her name is Mara, but she may and she told me like she 652 00:41:20.039 --> 00:41:22.079 cause she told me this a couple of weeks later, like after we started 653 00:41:22.079 --> 00:41:24.039 getting really close. She's like, oh my god, Like I asked for 654 00:41:24.079 --> 00:41:28.320 the perfect man. I just forgot to specify that I needed him to be 655 00:41:28.400 --> 00:41:31.800 straight, and so instead she got me, you know, like and and 656 00:41:31.840 --> 00:41:36.559 we are soulmates. Like she's just so amazing, like and so you're right 657 00:41:36.639 --> 00:41:39.480 like it it does, you know, and I have I am certainly not 658 00:41:39.519 --> 00:41:45.000 complaining, like because even though I have been single most of my life, 659 00:41:45.079 --> 00:41:47.519 I have done and seen that someday I need to write a book, Like 660 00:41:47.599 --> 00:41:51.159 I just need someone to come in and do that for me, because that's 661 00:41:51.199 --> 00:41:53.519 not that's not going to be me. But I have some stories to sell, 662 00:41:53.639 --> 00:41:57.639 like and again I'm excited to share some of that tomorrow night. Yes, 663 00:41:57.880 --> 00:41:59.960 I'm excited as well. And of course, if you can't make it 664 00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:02.800 tomorrow, look for the video. Maybe by Christmas. No, it'll be 665 00:42:02.840 --> 00:42:05.719 done before. I don't know. I got a baby on the way May, 666 00:42:05.719 --> 00:42:07.480 so I should probably get it done quick. Yeah you better, yeah, 667 00:42:07.639 --> 00:42:12.639 get that done quick. But Jeff, I appreciate you coming in today. 668 00:42:12.679 --> 00:42:15.119 To our studio, to our office slash studio. I don't know to 669 00:42:15.119 --> 00:42:19.280 even call it, but yeah, I appreciate you coming in and being on 670 00:42:19.320 --> 00:42:21.679 the podcast today, and I really look forward to what you have to say 671 00:42:21.719 --> 00:42:24.079 tomorrow. Man, it's going to be a great event. I'm really excited. 672 00:42:24.119 --> 00:42:27.519 Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, you have to come 673 00:42:27.559 --> 00:42:30.000 back and do a recap someday. Heck, I'm available. We don't have 674 00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:32.760 to pay you because you're kind of a big deal, that's right. Yeah, 675 00:42:32.760 --> 00:42:37.360 I am. Thanks for your listeners. Thank you please, dude, 676 00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:44.159 thanks for listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. Win a bunch of free 677 00:42:44.679 --> 00:42:52.840 from TO seventeen Recovery. Go to the all the website to seventeen Recovery dot com.