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Welcome to softcore History. What is
up, guys? Welcome back to soft

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Core History. I am your host, Rob Fox. And as a father,

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I would just like to say it's
an honor to be here just entertaining

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everyone's children. Everyone's a child,
and as a father, I appreciate human

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life more because I made one.
Well. As the real father to your

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child, I appreciate you being here, Thank you. Wow. Yeah,

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and raising my child. I appreciate
you kind father. He wants to dad,

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cut me, that's it, though
you don't want to rear the child.

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Well, he'll teach him sports.
I'm waiting for him to grow to

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the age of probably like seven,
and then yeah, you can like psychologically

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abuse him. He's changing the diapers, he's teaching him how to walk and

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talk, and like when I have
to give him the talk, Dan will

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be in the co owner correcting me. It's like, that's not what you

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do with now. Listen, there's
a father bowl and a son bowl on

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a hill. What elaborate? Okay, I'm not going to It's a Sopranos

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quote. Okay, It's like literally
everyone everyone's uncle takes the Sopranos quote and

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teaches like their nephew about sex.
You don't. I don't remember that point.

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I remember that quote. None.
Yeah, we'll move on, We'll

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power through. That's two niche of
a reference the Sopranos. No, I

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like the Sopranos. I just don't
remember that. Anyway, I'm Jake Goldman,

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gonna be Jake's here, Dan's here. We're having a good time.

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King's been Golden Circle. I'm having
just saying with no context. Now,

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I'm for it. This is the
first like amount, like decent amount of

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alcohol I've had since I've had a
child. So I'm enjoying that for now.

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When I get home, I'm gonna
want to die. But yeah,

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it's cool. How you guys doing
good? Enjoy this weekend of college football.

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If I did, I did nothing
else but watch football. So I

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watched football for twelve hours. Kylie
was out of town. She's like,

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you aren't texting me enough. I'm
like, I'm sorry, I'm just distracted

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beating off and watching college football.
So I did, oh I did?

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I ordered uh like three pounds of
valentinos. Yeah, to two hours past

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the order due, and uh that
was sick. I got to just chill

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whenever you order Valentina is a great
place in Austin right now, Um South

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Boston if you order that barbecue,
but make sure to tack on about an

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hour and a half to that.
Uh, that's the whole time. It

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ruins the whole point of ordering ahead. Yeah. There, all of their

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employee talent goes into smoking the meats
and not getting the smoked meats to you.

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And then like when you ask somebody, because you know there's a few

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older women that are waiting in line, and of course you know, they

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had to let the the employees here
that they're a little uh disgruntled, And

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the employees were just like, oh
yeah, I love that response. Yeah,

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yeah, yeah, No. I
actually prefer it if someone's it's getting

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maufie with an employee and they're like, a, well gets here when it

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gets here, Yeah, they're like
we're in line and I and he's like,

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uh, there's the pile of tickets
you know which Nope, order no,

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no, not the only one here
today to say, you know a

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lot of people ordered fucking brisket today. Get this. Get this. I

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did Saturday morning. First thing,
I woke up at like eight thirty putting

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that put in that order and it's
like, all right, be ready by

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ten twenty one. First off,
if you ordered it the day of,

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even if it was a thirty,
you were probably pretty low on the line.

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I bet there's a lot of Saturday
orders that were made, like probably,

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yeah, right, sure, but
I mean still it is annoying.

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But Valentine is fucking slaps. It's
so good. It's good. But I

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asked about college football because we have
another episode that is it's not college football

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base like Jake's last week, but
it is about rabid fans, about insane

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fans. And usually, you know, when we think of insane sports fans,

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we think of like stabbing in a
Zachsby's parking lot after an Auburn Alabama

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game that was really close. I
think of cricket murders. Okay, yeah,

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that that that's my thing. Now
I'm in a cricket. I know

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you are. I know that's still
your thing. Name two positions in cricket,

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uh, throwey guy and swingy paddle
batter is actually one of the batter

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was one, yeah, and there's
um it's paddle boys. What you're thinking

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paddle boy, paddle boy, paddle
boy and pitch man throwboy, Yeah,

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throw throw sir. Yeah, or
we think of like, you know,

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Philly fans trying to kill Santa,
which I know always gets it was justified.

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It was justified. Why Um well, first off, it was a

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skinny Santa. He was in a
blue suit. Um, those are mistakes.

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Yeah, yeah, it was just
a fan that was in the stands.

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They just because the real Santa didn't
show up. Obviously there's no good

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boys and girls in Philadelphia. Yeah, so it was a fan they took

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out of the stands. It was
also like what in the sixties, So

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my grandfather probably threw snowballs at Santa
probably, Yeah, and they like shoving

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a Duras cell and in the ice
and my dad he threw batteries at Jimmy

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Yeah, okay, yes, that's
awesome. They're throwing batteries at JD.

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Drew two back in the day.
We're a big battery. You are a

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big battery city, which doesn't make
any think it weren't for Philadelphia, Dursall

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would have gone under years ago.
Yeah, that's the only reason they're they're

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unpackaging batteries in there to throw them
at people. I mean, Elon Musk

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only opens battery factories and the hopes
that Philly sports will get relevant again.

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He's really gonna stop making rechargeable ones, Yes, and you're only gonna get

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your ass beat. Um. You
know you're gonna have some battle wounds when

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you go into Philly, but you're
not gonna end up dead like in LA.

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That's true. Yeah, they're not
gonna put you in a coma.

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You're not gonna go to a Dodgers
game. I mean every time you go

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to a Dodgers game, it's a
good chance you might not come back.

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It's that's a stabbing waiting to happen. No, you're right. And a

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Philly game like a drunk, obese
man with like a mustard stain on his

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shirt. Yeah, he'll punch a
lady in the face, right, But

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at a Dodger game. Three like
pretty in shape latino dudes from the bleachers

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will smash your skull into the pavement
in the parking lot. Also with just

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white guys too in La. Yeah, just like kind of tattered up white

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dudes in LA that'll just slit your
throat. Facetuts either way. Um,

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didn't that little robot hitchhiker make it
all the way through Canada and then get

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murdered, and so yeah, he
made he made it all the way through

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most of the United States as well. Um, yeah, it's just a

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fun little societal project of us transporting
this little robot from city to city.

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And he got to Philadelphia and he
ran into the wrong guy at Randall Cunningham,

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Jersey at two o'clock in the morning. So yeah, birds, I'd

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love to know what they gold birds, I would truly love to know what

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they found in that robot's stomach,
Like I want a robot autopsy. The

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wires are just frosted. It was
missing twenty yea. But yeah, sports

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hologanism it goes back further than we
think, actually beyond like soccer or nineteenth

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century boxers or eighteenth century horse racing, whatever the fuck you want to talk

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about. It has. Really it's
not the first, it's for sure not

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the first, but its most famous
routes are in the Eastern Roman Empire sounds

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right, aka the Byzantine Empire,
u Constantinople being its capital where most of

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the chariot racing that these people went
bananas about happened. Chariot racing was actually

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huge in the Roman Empire and then
if you've seen the movie ben Her famous

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chariot race, sne Her barely know
r you went there, it's not afraid

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to go there, guys. I'll
do it. I'll fucking do it.

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I swear to god'll do it again
in too. If you say it,

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please don't, I won't. I'm
sorry, never again. Um. But

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I was big in the Roman Empire, and then when it split, it

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was still big. And then the
Western Roman Empire fell and they didn't necessarily

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have the resources to do that kind
of grand spectacle of games. But the

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Eastern Roman Empire did because it when
the Western Roman Empire fell, the Eastern

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Roman Empire, it was still basically
the world superpower. Um. Just a

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dirty yer version, I would say, in a lot of way, is

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a more competent version. I also
like to think that. I also like

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to say that the best I think
I've said this on the show before,

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the best analogy for the United States
historically is probably the Eastern Roman Empire to

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date. We'll see how it goes. I hope that's not true, because

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Eastern Roman Empire had a very it
was a candle that burned bright and short.

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They weren't here for a long time. They were here for a bad

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time, like orphans. Yeah,
yes, but yeah, the Eastern Roman

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Empire, they were all about chariot
racing. Gladiatorial games went by the wayside,

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but chariot racing was still a thing, and fandom was a big fucking

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deal. There were four factions,
red, White, Green, and blue.

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I love that it's just colors.
Yeah, Joe, Well, you

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know they didn't have to name it
shit like that was the original thing.

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Yeah, I don't see anything after
color. We're in the twenty first century.

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The Cincinnati Reds, Saint Louis Blue
is I want to say, isn't

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Chelsea called the Blues. There's like
a British soccerate yea eplt I think Arsenals,

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the Red the Reds. Yeah,
you can't mention Cleveland though, because

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they're actually named after a group of
people. Yes, they're the family,

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the Brown family. Yes, oh
that's where you went, Okay, the

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Browns, I was I was worried. Oh no, no, no,

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no, I can see how that
could get miss construed. No, the

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Brown Family, Browns. Yeah,
there's a lot um but yeah, so

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there were those were the four like
major factions, and yeah, you just

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wore your color. Uh listen,
hair red, Yeah, you root it

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for your color in blue territory kind
of accurate as we'll get into. I

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feel like it's got to be a
easy way to not get lost. It's

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like, oh oh, honestly,
it's just they're all blue. Yeah,

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it's like sant andrews um when the
Grove gang the was the Ballers, and

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then the map just like or yeah, yeah, pink and green. Do

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you remember there was always that one
little gang territory up in the San Francisco

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area they had to go get that
was in like where Salsalita would be.

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It's like, I'm not protecting that
area. I'm giving that up. That's

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every time. Yeah. Uh well, what's weird about these is they were

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very tribalistic in their fandom, but
they weren't. It wasn't necessarily at any

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point geographic, you know how like
British like the EPL teams, like the

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different parts of London, like Green
Street, hooligan style. So these are

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f one drivers in a way,
and so like chariot drivers, they could

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switch teams and but obviously the fans
stayed the same, and chariot drivers actually

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made a shit ton of money.
These were not like gladiators like they again

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F one drivers, Red Bull these
fucking like. I know, I'm very

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limited on my F one knowledge.
It comes from people that we know that

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turned thirty years old. White guys
on Twitter just really getting into it.

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People root for drivers in F one
race team they go team, They're like

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red root for drivers, right,
yeah, No one's rooting for Hendrix Racing.

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Yeah, it's all it's all about
teams. Okay, I think from

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my understanding the brief interaction I get, like the fifteen minutes or so I

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see on the timeline every week,
you can Yeah, you can have like

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a driver that's your favorite for sure, Like I do like Daniel Ricardo,

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but I once he's gone, I
actively though I do like the Ferrari team.

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It's just a classic okay. Yeah, so yeah, that's how it

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is in this too. And uh, since these are human beings, we're

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talking about hashtag shit, don't change. Their fandom was pretty similar to modern

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sports fandom in a lot of way, a lot of ways, Like you

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could get figurings are the most popular
racers, uh, and like in their

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chariots are just like do you think
they had fungos fungos, Ye mean,

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yeah, probably like a bad situation, but like you have fun where there

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certain chariot racers where if they just
got on the podium, they were super

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pumped. They're like fuck yeah third
place. Yeah, so there were so

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I'll get into that. But essentially
the two main dominant teams were Green and

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Blue, and Red and White were
kind of like second tier. So yeah,

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they're just happy to finish the race
pretty much. Yeah, we'll get

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into that more in a moment um. So they would sell figurines and other

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like merchandise and shit like that,
other trink gets celebrating the teams or like

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famous racers. Archaeologists even have even
found um cursed tablets in which fans would

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ask the gods to make the other
team lose or have an opposing driver be

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maimed or killed in the race.
I am a huge fan of that.

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I have a cursed tablet every time
we played Georgia. Yeah. Well,

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they would also often throws cursed tablets
with nails in them onto the track.

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I also do that every time we
played Georgia. Although I feel like you

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could attribute any success those had more
to the nails. The curse gods.

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Yeah, yeah, gods, you
know, put those nails in the right

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place at the right time. The
gods guided the throw. Yeah. By

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the way, this is the Eastern
Roman Empire, so we're in full blown

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Christian at this point. These people
know, these people just went to the

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old gods because they knew Jesus wasn't
going to do it for a chariot,

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right, Jesus is old god in
the Old Testament would definitely do some stuff

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like no, they were going they
were going polytheists because those gods are pettier.

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They were they really they really don't
like slander or spite. Yeah yeah,

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yes, and Old Testament god is
petty, but polytheistic gods are real

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00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,919
different, especially the Greek ones.
I mean this is essentially Greco society,

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so uh yeah, um yeah.
So they would, you know, ask

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for curses. They'd bypassed Jesus for
it because they Jesus doesn't get his hands

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dirty on on sports. Like oh
no, angels in the outfield is bullshit.

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It's like, yeah, Monotheisms like
the thing, but it's not because

203
00:13:48,399 --> 00:13:52,480
it's technically still polytheistic. If you
can go to a different set of God's

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00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:56,000
right, well, I mean eventhicism
is fairly polytheistic. You pray to Mary,

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00:13:56,000 --> 00:14:00,600
you pray to the Saints. Yeah, Jesus is essentially raw blow who

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00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:05,639
shows up to an NFL game and
just wears the shield hat. Hey guys,

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00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,840
does everyone have a good time?
But once we all win. What

208
00:14:07,919 --> 00:14:11,360
was funny about these fandoms is that, like you were saying earlier, they

209
00:14:11,399 --> 00:14:16,480
were not really divided geographically or socio
politically. Like it wasn't like rich people

210
00:14:16,519 --> 00:14:20,440
route for green, like blue collar
like workers rooted for red or something like

211
00:14:20,519 --> 00:14:24,559
merchants rooted for white or something like
that. It was kind of random,

212
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:33,519
like it was kind of uh,
there was no clear dividing situation with who

213
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:37,879
rooted for what, Like it was
I assume you're born into it to a

214
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:41,960
certain extent. But also like it
was just fandoms like my father rooted Fared,

215
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,840
and his father ruted Fared, and
the father before him, Yeah,

216
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:50,559
pretty much, the father before him
was a cave person. Even though it's

217
00:14:50,559 --> 00:14:56,279
about how far back yea. Even
though the factions were not so socially politically

218
00:14:56,759 --> 00:15:03,480
divided like that's how they got chosen
or whatever, they essentially became socio political

219
00:15:03,759 --> 00:15:09,159
entities in and of themselves. What
I mean by that is, so the

220
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:13,039
citizen the Eastern Roman citizenry, specifically
in Constant Noble, which was like more

221
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:16,279
or less the most important city in
the world at that time, certainly in

222
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:22,039
the Western world, they didn't really
have any other outlet or like any other

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00:15:22,039 --> 00:15:28,240
outlet that was as organized and passionate
to like express their will collectively. Interesting,

224
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,960
you know what I mean, Like
there was no it was not a

225
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,159
representative democracy, like there's nothing to
cheer for. Yeah. Yeah, and

226
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:41,559
there was no like there weren't unions
or guilds or anything like that. So

227
00:15:41,159 --> 00:15:48,039
just accidentally these unions, we're about
to get into some union busting. Don't

228
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:52,840
worry kind of with these guys.
Good. I hate the fucking weekend.

229
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,440
I agree, it's stupid. The
weekend's dumb, and I hate not working

230
00:15:56,519 --> 00:16:00,879
should work gate days a week?
I hate not working with children. By

231
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,759
the way, Jay, do you
remember that old bodybuilding dot com forum?

232
00:16:04,039 --> 00:16:10,799
In a week? Yeah? Classic
internet? Um literally like not ironic.

233
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:14,120
People were arguing how many days it
were in a week because some guy had

234
00:16:14,159 --> 00:16:17,240
I think he worked out four different
muscle groups. He worked out. He

235
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:21,039
worked out every other day though in
a week okay, but I believe he

236
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,919
was working four. Like the whole
thing was, there's eight days in a

237
00:16:22,919 --> 00:16:29,840
week because I have I work each
muscle twice a week. Okay, so

238
00:16:29,879 --> 00:16:32,559
there's eight days in a week.
And okay, I don't think because because

239
00:16:32,639 --> 00:16:36,200
someone was using it on a fourteen
day scale to try and calculate it,

240
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,360
and someone was using a seven day
scale. He's like, no, you

241
00:16:37,399 --> 00:16:40,399
work out three and a half days
a week. He's like, that's fucking

242
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:41,240
stupid. I don't work out a
half day. I work out a full

243
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:45,240
day, So work out eight days. I work out four days a week.

244
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,039
He's doing it over two weeks.
And so you can see where the

245
00:16:49,679 --> 00:16:55,600
math here starts to fall apart um. You probably should look it up at

246
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,559
another time. We could probably do
a whole episode on this threat. We

247
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:02,840
should. We should because it's we
can times pass like two thousand nine threads,

248
00:17:02,879 --> 00:17:07,319
you could probably do a whole episode
on just body threads from bodybuilding dot

249
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:11,640
com form. Also, whenever you
search something relatively close, anything that's workout

250
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:17,319
related and it's a body building dot
com forum answer, it's from at least

251
00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:19,519
two thousand and eleven. Yeah,
they didn't they get rid of it at

252
00:17:19,559 --> 00:17:22,759
some point. It's still a thing, oh is it? But like every

253
00:17:22,759 --> 00:17:26,359
answer they had, their seo was
fucking killing it back in two thousand and

254
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:30,000
eight. Two still fucking going.
There's some guy named Klein. God like,

255
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:33,039
No, what you need to do
is just drink a quart of milk

256
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:37,160
every single day, never jerk off
and lift five hundred pounds over your head.

257
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,440
Ye as can say. If you
guys need breast milk, yeah,

258
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,440
I got a source. You got
a guy, Yeah, I got a

259
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:48,039
guy. Guy for it. It's
me Tim, It's just kid. Yeah,

260
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:51,799
okay, okay, it's pretty cool. I just pump picking up what

261
00:17:51,839 --> 00:17:56,240
you're putting down. I just put
my kid's stomach and then I blot of

262
00:17:56,319 --> 00:17:59,200
nutrition. Yeah, well I feed
him formula after. But I'm like,

263
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:03,440
daddy needs that gold Yeah. And
I I don't mean, I'm not referring

264
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,319
to myself as daddy, Like,
oh, like I'm his father, and

265
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:10,000
I'm like, your daddy needs that
Gold's You don't wait for your white to

266
00:18:10,279 --> 00:18:12,519
or your wife to just fall asleep
and just milk it out, milk it

267
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:15,880
out. Yeah. You would think
it would be that easy, but it's

268
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:19,359
super not. It actually blows my
mind that human beings are here between watching

269
00:18:21,039 --> 00:18:26,519
her struggle through a birth with twenty
first century medical technology and getting milk out

270
00:18:26,599 --> 00:18:30,640
being a fucking nightmare. Yeah,
it shouldn't be here. It's not as

271
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,680
instinctive as people know. Yeah,
there's process to it. Yeah, it's

272
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,000
fun. It's fucking weird. Fuck
up a lot, But those fuck ups

273
00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:41,839
created things like cheese. So it's
true. That's true. By the way,

274
00:18:41,839 --> 00:18:45,599
you guys needs some breast milk cheese. I know a guy, you

275
00:18:45,599 --> 00:18:48,319
got another guy? Is there a
lactose and breast milk. It's still my

276
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,839
son. It's just I don't get
to the milk as quickly to pump out

277
00:18:52,839 --> 00:18:56,160
of him. So it's a little
curdled. That's that's the part. That's

278
00:18:56,160 --> 00:19:02,640
how the cheese. Yeah, what
is cottage cheese? But vomited. Yeah,

279
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,200
I'm not gonna eat the rest of
the night now, so that's that's

280
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:08,680
cool for me. I guess ted
ted So yeah. Anyway, So these

281
00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:15,039
these fantoms became social political entities in
another themselves. Um so at the end

282
00:19:15,079 --> 00:19:18,400
of the day, the chariot racing
fandom, like fan bases, became like

283
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:23,160
a weird mix of sports fandom like
normal sports fandom, political parties, and

284
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:30,440
street gangs. They were kind of
all three combined. Like imagine. Honestly,

285
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,480
the best way to put this is
like, imagine if Green Street Hooligans

286
00:19:33,519 --> 00:19:37,319
was in the most important city in
the world and they kind of helped decide

287
00:19:37,319 --> 00:19:41,799
how the government was run. Cool. That sounds terrifying, it's not great.

288
00:19:41,839 --> 00:19:45,279
So that's like if the Raiders fans
just, oh, well they're in

289
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,799
Las Vegas. If it'd be like
if the Raiders fans just ran Las Vegas.

290
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:52,960
Hey, man, Packers fans are
owners. Yeah, every Packers fan

291
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,720
is an owner. That's the lamest
shit. Didn't Jared go to school with

292
00:19:55,799 --> 00:20:00,240
that guy who wrote something in like
NFL owner reacts to Colin Kaepernick and it

293
00:20:00,319 --> 00:20:06,279
was just a random Packers season ticket
holder. I think he did. I

294
00:20:06,319 --> 00:20:07,279
think he did because he talks about
it on Twitter, so but he won't

295
00:20:07,279 --> 00:20:11,799
add him. But like that guy's
like the dumbest motherfucker live. He's an

296
00:20:11,839 --> 00:20:15,480
owner, part owner, yeah,
part older, and like the guy knew

297
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,759
that he was full of shit,
and like wrote in the intro, he

298
00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:21,799
was like, well, I just
stort, did you This type of vooter

299
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:27,640
could more reflective if they like every
man how real American stig. That's dumb.

300
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,079
Yeah, it's real dumb. Yeah, so it was calling yourself an

301
00:20:30,079 --> 00:20:33,839
owner, yes, of the Packers, because you hold a season ticket.

302
00:20:34,039 --> 00:20:37,480
Those fucking people, they deserve what
they get with Aaron Rodgers this year.

303
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,519
You mean that guy that's won one
conference championship, super Bowl, he's won

304
00:20:41,559 --> 00:20:45,039
a super Bowl, but he's only
been to one super Bowl too, Right,

305
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,599
he's won one super bowls Um,
now he lost one. No,

306
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:52,119
he's only been the super Bowl once. Do you lose Rogers lose one?

307
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:56,319
He loses the Steelers, No heat
Steelers. Yeah. Okay, so he's

308
00:20:56,319 --> 00:20:59,400
only been one. I don't remember
and I don't care anyway. So they

309
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:00,839
say, you know, you guys
probably heard the saying like bread and games,

310
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,039
Yeah right, like keeps their own
citizens happy, blah blah blahallaway,

311
00:21:04,039 --> 00:21:07,960
like to say it all the time
on our fucking things. That's kind of

312
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:14,759
a misnomer because it's not like emperors
would throw games just to like appease these

313
00:21:14,759 --> 00:21:18,759
people when they're getting pissed off.
Like these are complex societies and economies,

314
00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:22,039
like there were games happening constantly,
hence the fandom. Um, but essentially

315
00:21:22,079 --> 00:21:26,720
like when there was like a bread
and Games situation. Uh it was I

316
00:21:26,759 --> 00:21:29,799
don't know. People were pissed off
or the emperor decided to celebrate something,

317
00:21:29,839 --> 00:21:33,440
so they would just throw like an
extra March Badness. I would love that,

318
00:21:33,519 --> 00:21:36,480
right if like discontent created, like, oh, we're doing the college

319
00:21:36,519 --> 00:21:38,960
football playoff again, right, Like
how do we not do that during COVID.

320
00:21:40,079 --> 00:21:42,359
Yeah, it's like, actually the
college football season is all year now.

321
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,839
Yeah, like, yeah, we're
doing it. More like the Afghanistan

322
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,880
pullout goes bad. Biden just puts
on an extra College World Series, yeah,

323
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:55,119
or something that's not really that number. That's pretty bad. Oh,

324
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,160
this is September madness. Now another
March madness. Just another March madness,

325
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,160
just right then, and it's like, hey, we're having a tournament or

326
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,160
like you get all the NBA players
back just for one quick term whatever.

327
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,440
Yeah, I love that. I
want that. They were lucky in that

328
00:22:06,519 --> 00:22:10,440
way, I'd say the luckiest.
Yes, yeah, it really were.

329
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,079
But yeah. So by the time
of the Eastern Roman Empire, the number

330
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:18,839
one sport was chariot racing by by
a long shot, and it was a

331
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:26,880
humulously integral part of society. Chariot
racing and the fandom was like, that

332
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:27,720
was it. That was a part
of the culture, And it was so

333
00:22:27,799 --> 00:22:30,960
much part of the culture, the
culture, the culture of the Eastern Roman

334
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,599
Empire and the culture. It was
so much part of the culture that you

335
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:37,880
might ask, oh, like the
NFL, like how it's big in America.

336
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:42,240
Uh No, not even fucking close. Imagine so reading about all this

337
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:48,240
and how much political weight it had. And I'm not saying this as a

338
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:52,319
as a judgment on his message or
whatever at all, but like, these

339
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:56,039
people make Colin Kaepernick look like amateur
hour. Like whatever Colin Kaepernick did to

340
00:22:56,079 --> 00:23:02,079
the American discourse, it's a drop
in the fucking bucket compared to how much

341
00:23:02,559 --> 00:23:07,640
of the political discourse these chariot fandoms
control. Howso tell me more, I

342
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,599
want to know what the difference is. Oh, I'm gonna get to that.

343
00:23:10,839 --> 00:23:15,440
Okay. Chariot fan groups were such
an important part of Eastern Roman culture

344
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:21,200
and politics that in order to essentially
legitimize themselves, emperors had to choose a

345
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:27,000
team to root for. That's awesome, Like you were, you couldn't not

346
00:23:27,039 --> 00:23:30,200
do it. And it wasn't like
Obama being like, oh, I'm a

347
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,079
white Sox fan they're like Bill Clinton
rooting for Arkansas when they won the tournament

348
00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:37,799
in ninety four, ninety three or
whatever, like they had they had to

349
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,559
pick a side. That doesn't seem
like fair though, right, what do

350
00:23:41,599 --> 00:23:44,720
you mean? I would probably if
that team started to succeed and the emperor

351
00:23:44,799 --> 00:23:48,319
is a fan of that team,
I would have my questions. I'd be

352
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:53,119
like, how's he helping them?
Yeah? Yeah, yes, that happens

353
00:23:53,519 --> 00:24:00,319
to an extent. So Emperor Theodosius
the second was a fan of the Greens.

354
00:24:00,599 --> 00:24:03,920
He's a fan of the green team, so much so that he changed

355
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:08,079
the seating at the Hippodrome, which
was the UH stadium for the racing,

356
00:24:08,559 --> 00:24:12,839
so that the Green fans got the
best seats. So the Green Green fans

357
00:24:12,839 --> 00:24:18,720
had like fucking ringside seats. The
entire first row around the thing was green

358
00:24:18,759 --> 00:24:25,759
fall. I can't imagine fan cheering
has a huge effect on how a chariot

359
00:24:25,079 --> 00:24:29,000
race. Yeah. Absolutely, opposed
to like a football game or a basketball

360
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:33,000
game or something like that. It's
momentum sport. Yeah, I mean,

361
00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:34,880
I guess you could try to spook
to it. Well, I will say

362
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:38,559
this, if you're closer to the
to the track, easier to throw your

363
00:24:38,559 --> 00:24:42,559
curse tablets onto the You mean your
nails, Yeah, your nails. It's

364
00:24:42,559 --> 00:24:45,680
a lot easier to hit a horse
with the nails. Yeah. Um,

365
00:24:45,759 --> 00:24:48,079
so he was a fan of the
Greens, gave the Greens the best seat.

366
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:53,319
His successor, Marstian uh got annoyed
by how green, how cocky the

367
00:24:53,319 --> 00:25:00,200
Greens had gotten under Theodosius, so
he decided to change their seats. Just

368
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,200
kidding, He decided to ban all
Greens from holding public office. They could

369
00:25:03,279 --> 00:25:06,920
do that. Yeah, so if
you're a fan of the Green team,

370
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:11,319
get the fuck out. We're not
a judge anymore. The original death penalty.

371
00:25:11,839 --> 00:25:15,200
What wait, was he like a
blue? Imagine he's a blue guy

372
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,279
then? Uh? Most so,
Green and Blue were the biggest one by

373
00:25:18,319 --> 00:25:21,480
far, so he might have been. He was probably a blue, but

374
00:25:21,519 --> 00:25:25,359
I didn't see that off in my
research. But he did not like the

375
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:32,119
Greens. Um. There's another emperor
after him, Anastasius, who tried to

376
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,839
stay kind of neutral and not piss
off the Blues or the Greens, because

377
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,160
essentially, you would pick one and
then the other one would fucking hate you,

378
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:42,039
and that's like half the city and
they're just dicks about it. Like,

379
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:47,359
I imagine this is a very similar
setup to how if the South had

380
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:51,240
won the Civil War and they're just
electing presidents and it's really just based on

381
00:25:51,319 --> 00:25:53,000
which SEC team they're I was about
to say, it's probably just like running

382
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,519
for governor of Alabama. Yes,
it's like, are you an out are

383
00:25:56,559 --> 00:25:59,960
you a fucking Tide guy? Are
you an Auburn guy? What's going on?

384
00:26:00,079 --> 00:26:02,200
Get the UAB guy the fuck out
of it? Yeah? Wait UAB

385
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:06,440
fuck No? Yeah, like South
Alabama absolutely not. Can't trust that guy

386
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,160
who did uh oh fuck. I
was about to say, Brett Faber.

387
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:12,720
That was Southern myths, not South
Alabama. Clearly Jean Chiswick doesn't Tubberville or

388
00:26:12,759 --> 00:26:18,359
Tuberville. Yeah, Alabama, it's
a disgrace that Tommy Tubberville want a statewide

389
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:22,480
election as an Auburn coach. I
loved the mud slinging commercials. It's like

390
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,200
he quit on his team, and
it talked about how he bailed on Auburn.

391
00:26:25,279 --> 00:26:30,519
It's in Cincinnati, right, an
Texas antech all but the Emperor Anastasius.

392
00:26:30,559 --> 00:26:33,119
He wanted to stay kind of neutral, not pissed off one or the

393
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,680
other. So he was he decided
to be a fan of the Reds,

394
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:40,640
declare himself for the Reds because it's
a shooty so shitty that people, it

395
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,480
wouldn't affect anything. Yeah, yeah, it's like being a Jags fan.

396
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:48,839
Yeah yeah, exactly, harmless um. However, his relative neutrality did not

397
00:26:49,839 --> 00:26:56,119
make the action the factions very chill. The chariot racing, like, these

398
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,240
people were crazy about it, so
they got mad at each other a lot.

399
00:26:59,279 --> 00:27:03,200
They're a lot of rs and rumbles
and things like that. And during

400
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:10,079
Anastasius's rain in five o one,
the Greens uh took to the streets and

401
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:15,480
ambushed the Blues and beat them up
because the guy picked the Reds. No,

402
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,680
just because just because, just oh
for sure them. They didn't like

403
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,599
them. Those guys are dicks,
and I beat them up. I mean

404
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:26,680
they killed three thousand of them.
Three thousand, whoa hold on, Yeah,

405
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,640
wait a minute, that's like an
entire student section in the streets.

406
00:27:29,799 --> 00:27:33,599
Like they just went out and like
if Alabama fans, like if after the

407
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:34,880
kick six, they're like, you
know what, it's a we're gonna kill

408
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,119
all these kids. It's a micro
genoside. Yeah no, yeah, they

409
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:42,480
laid an ambush and killed three thousand
blue fans in the streets of Constantinople.

410
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,839
That's a bit much. I'm gonna
say they took it too far that time.

411
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:52,759
This is some serious shit. You
don't have these people have and poison

412
00:27:52,839 --> 00:27:57,880
the trees. They killed the fans. Yeah, yeah, so that was

413
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,359
pretty big. Wait you say that, but not the biggest. No,

414
00:28:03,559 --> 00:28:08,079
there's more. Oh god, Okay, So the emperor Justinian enter him,

415
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:11,240
he's at he's next. I don't
know if he's immediately next, but he's

416
00:28:11,279 --> 00:28:15,960
like within the next two. He
is, by all accounts, considered the

417
00:28:17,039 --> 00:28:22,200
best emperor in Eastern Roman Empire history. Um, he basically like two famines

418
00:28:22,279 --> 00:28:26,279
under his reign. There was only
one Black Death. We talked about him

419
00:28:26,279 --> 00:28:30,640
before Justinian's plague, during the worst
years to be alive from human history.

420
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,279
Oh, he was. He was
under that, yeah umbrella. He was

421
00:28:33,279 --> 00:28:36,799
in part of that umbrella. Yes, so he's one of the best,

422
00:28:36,839 --> 00:28:41,920
but he's also his worst year is
the worst of all the worst. His

423
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,480
black death doesn't really his fault.
Can't only put that on him. I'm

424
00:28:44,559 --> 00:28:45,680
kind of putting it on with it
on him. Yeah, alright, he

425
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:52,319
didn't react fast enough. It's actually
Prairie dog's faults, varmints. What without

426
00:28:52,319 --> 00:28:55,720
Black Death? It's something it's some
weird animal. It's it's not it's more

427
00:28:55,759 --> 00:28:59,599
so than rats. It's another animal, penguin. It's not a penguin either,

428
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,759
that's us. That's at the penguin. Yeah, it was some sort

429
00:29:03,799 --> 00:29:08,319
of like periodog animal. It's a
marmot. Okay, yeah that they did

430
00:29:08,319 --> 00:29:11,519
the Black Death. They're actually thinking
it's like either marmot or like, uh,

431
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,920
some sort of beaver like but it
just happened to get to rats and

432
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:21,599
rats like blew it up perfect.
Yeah. So like everyone blamed bats,

433
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:25,640
but it was really penguins, was
it. Yeah, penguin's wasn't a lab?

434
00:29:25,759 --> 00:29:27,839
I heard it was a lab?
Oh yeah, yea chocolate lab.

435
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:33,160
Yes, yeah, but yeah.
So the Justinian best emperor in Eastern Roman

436
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:38,680
history. He basically reconquered all of
Western Rome during his reign, like basically

437
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:42,279
reunited the Roman Empire, uh most
of it. He wrote one of the

438
00:29:42,359 --> 00:29:48,359
most comprehensive legal codes in human history. He did lead the Eastern Roman Empire

439
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:49,839
into and out of I mean he
didn't really get him into but led them

440
00:29:49,839 --> 00:29:56,119
out of the Black Death and oversaw
a massive humongous, insane construction projects throughout

441
00:29:56,119 --> 00:29:59,839
the empire that still stand today.
Like did like digging mass graves, Yeah,

442
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:03,599
part of them, beautiful mass graves. The facilities of these fucking graves,

443
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:10,759
the mosais, Yeah, unbelievable,
but all of that was almost derailed

444
00:30:10,799 --> 00:30:15,559
early in his reign. This is
what the historian John Malasis. This is

445
00:30:15,559 --> 00:30:21,160
like a contemporary historians from the time
John Malasis actually wrote about him. This

446
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,559
is how important chariot racing is.
This This is in the first paragraph that

447
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:30,079
John Malassis, a contemporary historian,
John John Mallalyssis, wrote about Justinian,

448
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:36,000
the most important emperor in Eastern Roman
Empire history. In appearance, he was

449
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,440
short, with a good chest,
a good nose, fair skinned, curly

450
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:42,359
haired, round faced, handsome with
receding hair, a florid complexion, with

451
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:47,759
his hair and beard graying. He
was magnanimous and a Christian. He favored

452
00:30:47,799 --> 00:30:52,880
the Blue faction. That was worth
including in the first fucking sentence about Justinian.

453
00:30:55,400 --> 00:31:00,880
Cherry on top favored the Blue faction
right, all of his entire None

454
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:04,279
of what I just read off would
have happened if it wasn't for the fact

455
00:31:04,279 --> 00:31:10,559
that he favored the Blue faction and
also the favoring the Blue faction almost caused

456
00:31:10,599 --> 00:31:15,519
all of it to happen. So
early in his reign there was oh actually,

457
00:31:15,839 --> 00:31:18,720
let me go back a little bit. First, Justinian was married to

458
00:31:18,839 --> 00:31:22,640
Theodora. That was his wife.
The Eastern Roman Empire didn't They didn't really

459
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:32,079
like him very much because the a
lot of like the aristocracy and who even

460
00:31:32,119 --> 00:31:34,839
the civilians and stuff like that,
because him and Theodora, his wife,

461
00:31:34,839 --> 00:31:40,160
are of low birth, low wish
birth. His uncle was the emperor,

462
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,799
but he's I guess like the poor
gross nephew. Yeah, but came to

463
00:31:42,839 --> 00:31:48,880
the throne somehow. So he married
Theodora, also of low birth, and

464
00:31:49,599 --> 00:31:55,680
she rooted for the Blues as well. However, that was a bit of

465
00:31:56,319 --> 00:32:00,559
a scandal because it felt like a
little bit of a betrayal because her dad

466
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:06,680
was a bear trainer for the Green
faction. Wait, bears, this is

467
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:13,519
a cheriy race, great question,
don't know they have obstacles then track for

468
00:32:14,559 --> 00:32:16,079
I don't know what else these people
were doing. Yeah, when when she

469
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,799
got real bad, they do the
bear games. Yeah, it's all right,

470
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:25,720
but more cherio races a trained bears
for the Greens. Well, modern

471
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:30,400
like Russian circus bears. If you
can raise a bear, you can raise

472
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:36,079
the chariot. Yeah, they're if
they're riding fucking motorcycles through fires like like

473
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,839
hoop fires, I'm sure they can
ride a chariot. You can train these

474
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:43,519
these bears. These bears are probably
part of the team bear races. Yeah,

475
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,480
like you. It's like a you
get a shitty car before you can

476
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,400
get a good one. So before
they give you a horse, you have

477
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:52,319
to use a bear on the chariot. That's should you have a bear at

478
00:32:52,319 --> 00:32:57,160
the front of the horses, or
maybe like a bear. Actually, here's

479
00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:00,400
the better way. The bears behind
the bears behind it, tethered behind the

480
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:05,440
chins. The bears tethered behind the
chariot, and you sick him on the

481
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,359
people behind you. Yeah, right, like the bears. It's like Mario

482
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:12,359
Kart. Yeah, yes, and
a chariot. Yeah, just like Mario

483
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,640
Kart. So Theodora's dad trained bears
for the Greens. Cool, but Theodora

484
00:33:15,799 --> 00:33:21,440
adopted the Blues like her husband.
Uh justin. Justinian's fandom was actually used

485
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:28,720
against him by less sympathetic historians.
The historian Procopius claimed yes, yeah,

486
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:32,279
yeah, uh yeah. Modern historians, also the guy with no less name

487
00:33:32,319 --> 00:33:37,559
Procopius. Yeah. Uh, in
his work Secret History. I guess this

488
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:42,440
was all like the dirty things you
didn't hear about. That's you know,

489
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,319
what's old because it's called secret history, not of anything, just secret secret

490
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:49,240
history. Yeah. There were only
like eight titles of books back then.

491
00:33:50,039 --> 00:33:53,720
Yeah, and five of them were
just variations on Bible. Yeah so truth.

492
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:59,319
Yeah, yeah, exactly. So. He said that Justinian, because

493
00:33:59,359 --> 00:34:02,319
he was a fan of the Blues, let Blues fans kill and rape and

494
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:07,640
steal at will and also molesque children
at will. That's a pretty common smear.

495
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:09,559
It sounds like a bad guy.
Yeah, yeah, sounds like a

496
00:34:09,639 --> 00:34:15,519
real jerk. How good could he
have been? Yeah, black death.

497
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:19,760
Blue fans were also allowed child rape. Yeah this is this is your king,

498
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,559
This is my king. Yeah,
this is my king. I'm backing

499
00:34:22,679 --> 00:34:27,280
him. I don't care what you
say. Uh. Blue fans were also

500
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:32,760
apparently Justinian let them like make women
have sex with their slaves, defile churches,

501
00:34:34,599 --> 00:34:37,800
all kinds of wild shit. The
Blue faction sounds pretty metal, pretty

502
00:34:38,639 --> 00:34:44,000
Yeah. Uh, this is probably
bullshit because Justinian was like obsessed with the

503
00:34:44,079 --> 00:34:45,880
law. Like I said, he
wrote like the one of the most comprehensive

504
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:50,639
legal codes in like human history.
His name is Justinian. That's not surprising

505
00:34:50,679 --> 00:34:53,239
him. Man, yeah right,
it sounds just sounds Justice named after him.

506
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:59,800
Yeah, yes, yeah, why
now I'm pretty sure this historian also

507
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,280
yeah, yeah, what follow the
money? Follow the money, connect the

508
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:07,159
dots, Quibo. Yes, I
still don't remember what that means. You're

509
00:35:07,199 --> 00:35:08,760
gonna have to explain it to me. Every time I asked quibono. Every

510
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:14,960
time someone, some debt collector calls
me, what do you have the game?

511
00:35:15,079 --> 00:35:19,639
Like quibono, they're like, sir, the the people who you owe

512
00:35:19,639 --> 00:35:24,079
the debt too, bono, you
owe the money? You two, and

513
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,960
like qui bono, And then I
just hang up the phone. Anyway,

514
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,639
my house is getting foreclosed. They're
sure pumping out more milk. Man,

515
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,800
Yeah, I know. That's why
I'm trying to sell this milk. Who

516
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,440
needs milk? My baby's got a
stomach and my wife has working bress.

517
00:35:37,639 --> 00:35:39,960
I bet you if you went,
I've got some rubber pipe, you could

518
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:45,079
set up a folding card table outside
of the west Lake Gold's gym. You'll

519
00:35:45,079 --> 00:35:50,800
get a couple cups. It's a
fly that is a pterodactyl um, but

520
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:54,880
yeah, oh so Procopius also his
other thing. He didn't like Theodora either,

521
00:35:54,920 --> 00:36:00,239
didn't like Justindian's wife. So he
said that Theodora, who is of

522
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:05,800
lowish birth middle class. Maybe I
don't know, she got famous in Constantinople

523
00:36:06,519 --> 00:36:10,559
by taking the stage in theaters,
what a bitch and filling her vagina and

524
00:36:10,639 --> 00:36:15,039
asshole with rice and then letting geese
eat the rice out of her pussy and

525
00:36:15,079 --> 00:36:19,079
asshole. I think this guy might
have been lying. I'm gonna I'm here

526
00:36:19,119 --> 00:36:22,159
and say this guy might have had
some personal issues that he's lying about.

527
00:36:22,199 --> 00:36:30,239
What a show though, what they
call it? The aristocratic yea geese of

528
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:35,119
all things? So such a mean
bird. It's like, if we gonna

529
00:36:35,119 --> 00:36:37,000
have any animal eat anything out of
any orifice on my body, it's not

530
00:36:37,039 --> 00:36:42,199
the one that's gonna peck at it. No, No, get a dog

531
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,800
or something like a goose. Do
you think the rice was cooked? Do

532
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:49,360
you think it was dried rice?
I don't know which and which is better

533
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:53,760
to do. You gotta think the
cooked rice is easier to stomach. Stuff

534
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:59,480
in cooked rice is more effort for
you, and it's not like you're benefiting

535
00:36:59,559 --> 00:37:00,920
from it. The geese. The
geese don't need it to be cooked.

536
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:05,280
I know, but it's yeah,
but I don't think England's benefiting from this

537
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:12,559
cat que Queet Booner whoa, Well, Theodora's benefiting. He actually getting paid.

538
00:37:12,679 --> 00:37:16,079
It's her job and she can retain
us original cam she got famous.

539
00:37:16,079 --> 00:37:19,360
I look forward to that on TikTok
if someone wants to get some rice,

540
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:24,840
the Theodora challenge has challenge like whatever, Yeah, whoever wants to hit do

541
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:28,599
the Theodora challenge. Send us that. Please send it to Rob. I

542
00:37:28,639 --> 00:37:30,519
don't want to see it. Yeah, send it to me outside as Jake.

543
00:37:30,559 --> 00:37:32,960
You gotta just be nice to the
goose. We don't want any like

544
00:37:34,079 --> 00:37:37,599
peta complaints, all right, I
mean you gotta run out of content at

545
00:37:37,599 --> 00:37:42,039
some point, right, Like there's
only it's like Godwin's law, but with

546
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:45,840
geese seating rice out of your pussy, at some point everything gets done to

547
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:47,360
death. You know what's funny?
Someone will probably try to do that thinking

548
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:52,440
it's original, and then we'll be
like, actually, fucking idiot tombas well,

549
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:58,679
according to Procopious. Yeah, Procopius, which sounds like a liar,

550
00:37:59,039 --> 00:38:05,519
like the name just south ohs Procopius. Yeah, that Precopious. Come on,

551
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:09,079
he was like, she did this
and this and this bitch, Like

552
00:38:09,119 --> 00:38:14,559
what the fuck? Obviously that's why
there's no way she did that. Yeah,

553
00:38:14,599 --> 00:38:20,599
so that didn't happen. Justinian was
also not letting the blues. He

554
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:24,199
yes, he does. Sounds like
a real green boy. Uh. So

555
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:29,719
the other the aforementioned historian, John
Malasis is uh, he doesn't mention any

556
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,159
of that in his history. In
fact, chariot racing doesn't even really come

557
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:37,599
up in his history so much so
that chariot racing doesn't come up until it

558
00:38:37,639 --> 00:38:42,920
does come up for second. H
but like before that, like none of

559
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:46,079
that comes up, like like he's
talking about other things. Like he mentions,

560
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:50,159
I don't know if this is how
like benign the history was at this

561
00:38:50,159 --> 00:38:52,519
point, and this is before the
Black Death and stuff like that, so

562
00:38:52,559 --> 00:38:54,039
there was like a war with Persia
at the time, but it was relatively

563
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:58,519
I guess, I don't know,
not much going on, because he mentions

564
00:38:58,559 --> 00:39:05,320
an Italian showman who comes to Constantinople
with his psychic dog, like that predicted

565
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:07,559
the games that No, just in
jail, I was gonna say, he's

566
00:39:07,559 --> 00:39:12,800
like the fucking octopus bowl, Like
his dog's just psychic. But what does

567
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,639
he pick? And no, not
about the games, about anything. It's

568
00:39:15,639 --> 00:39:16,920
like, you're gonna are You're gonna
die in the next five years. My

569
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:22,679
dog will tell you how what does
he speak fucking Latin? Look what's going

570
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:27,760
on? Well, first, like
a bar speaking Greek in this area whatever,

571
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,840
it's all the same. Secondly,
I don't know how the psychic dog

572
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:35,760
in five D work. He goes
or treat b Yeah pretty much. Now

573
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,960
that's like a horse like stomping his
yeah, counting, Yeah right, okay,

574
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:43,400
so what about this dog? Tell
me more? Uh? It was

575
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,480
god. Oh wait, you're saying
history was so boring. He just mentions

576
00:39:46,519 --> 00:39:49,599
the psychic dog at some point yea, yeah yeah. He was like,

577
00:39:49,599 --> 00:39:54,440
and there is a psychic dog that
showed up at some point, slow slow

578
00:39:54,480 --> 00:40:02,079
decade decade. Yeah that's hilarious.
Uh but so yeah, but malaisis kind

579
00:40:02,079 --> 00:40:07,599
of Malasis is kind of towed the
imperial line a little bit, so he

580
00:40:07,639 --> 00:40:10,199
was kind of on the other end. There is a good chance that Blue

581
00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:15,360
fans were emboldened by their emperor being
a Blue fan, probably got away with

582
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:21,039
a little more. Also, probably
weren't molesting children at will in the street.

583
00:40:21,159 --> 00:40:22,880
Just genocide. Yeah, well,
I mean, look, sometimes you

584
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:28,119
gotta kill three kill the blues.
Yeah, sometimes you gotta just on the

585
00:40:28,119 --> 00:40:31,199
wrong end of the genocide. To
be fair, there a murderers constantly,

586
00:40:31,199 --> 00:40:36,880
which is how we get into the
biggest problem with the chariot racers. So

587
00:40:37,199 --> 00:40:43,079
the background on this what is known
as the Nika riots pretty simple. This

588
00:40:43,159 --> 00:40:49,079
is when shit exploded with the chariot
racing. There had been some light chariot

589
00:40:49,159 --> 00:40:53,079
racing rioting and some people were murdered. It happens. You go to a

590
00:40:53,159 --> 00:40:58,280
chariot race, it's expected, you
expect to get but you take your life

591
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,400
into your own hands. Let's be
honest. That's the fun. Dodgers stadium

592
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:06,800
bleachers, uh, I don't know
Alabama chief seats if in an Auburn jersey

593
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:10,159
like you, there's or an Astros
fan going to a Dodgers game for the

594
00:41:10,199 --> 00:41:14,519
first like there were videos a couple
of weeks ago. The Astros played at

595
00:41:14,519 --> 00:41:17,280
Dodger Stadium for the first time since
the cheating scandal when they beat the Dodgers

596
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:22,840
in the world. Oh fucking psychos
went to the Dodgers game in their Astros

597
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:28,679
gear. The fight videos were all
out. I mean, they weren't seen

598
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,320
this yet. And but like I
don't like not to victim blame or whatever,

599
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:37,119
but like, what did you expect? What was she wearing? Not

600
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:42,719
to get beat up at a fucking
game in Astro's gear with psycho Dodgers fans.

601
00:41:43,079 --> 00:41:45,280
See. It's It's the thing that
always blows my mind. It's like,

602
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,239
I'm just so used to like Deep
South like crazy fans. I forget

603
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:51,199
they have crazy fans everywhere like La. Yeah, I'm like, oh yeah,

604
00:41:51,199 --> 00:41:52,880
people used to get stabbed at the
Chargers. Raiders get people all the

605
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:57,320
time. The people. I would
actually say, La might be the second

606
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,880
best baseball town in America. They
go fucking hard for that shit. Um

607
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:06,119
number one in New York for baseball. Yeah all right, whatever, uh

608
00:42:06,639 --> 00:42:08,079
just lying, yeah, sorry,
all right, real quick. Chariots are

609
00:42:08,119 --> 00:42:10,760
cool. But you know what else
is cool? What's that? Rob?

610
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:15,519
Ghost Bed? Ghost is cool?
Ghostbet dot com. We love ghost Bed.

611
00:42:15,519 --> 00:42:17,639
They've been a sponsor with the Drinking
Bros. Network, which we are

612
00:42:17,639 --> 00:42:21,599
on for the last like five years. Everyone loves them, raves abound them,

613
00:42:21,639 --> 00:42:22,760
blah blah blah. I don't know
really what else to tell you.

614
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:28,360
They're fucking great comfortable mattresses. They
last forever. They're made in the USA.

615
00:42:28,679 --> 00:42:30,000
Every mattress has a twenty year warranty. You can try it out for

616
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:31,840
one hundred one nights. If you
don't like it, you can send it

617
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:34,760
back. You're not going to send
it back. Who the fuck mails a

618
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:37,880
mattress? But also you wouldn't need
to anyway, Like I said every time.

619
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,280
I don't know if ghost Bed appreciates
it or not, but I actually

620
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:43,840
don't believe that anyone would mail a
mattress back, Like the mattress can't want

621
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:47,159
to. Yeah, the mattress could
be constructed only of like filthy thongs that

622
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:51,800
your mother is worn, like glued
together with the seamen of the men that

623
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,480
took them off of her. Now
the red is ruined. Yeah, like

624
00:42:54,599 --> 00:42:58,840
you're like that mattress. But this
is a Ghostbed mattress, so you're not.

625
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,000
You're definitely not going to send it
back. I'm just telling you,

626
00:43:00,079 --> 00:43:02,679
like not any of those things that
Rob just listed off, it's actually really

627
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:06,920
great mattress. Tom White's great.
Rob. They got cooling technology or they're

628
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:08,880
comfortable shit, but the cooling technology
is what's great about here in Texas.

629
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:16,159
It's so pillows too adjustable bass.
If Stuart Scott laid on the other side

630
00:43:16,199 --> 00:43:21,719
of this pillow, yeah, his
other eye would probably work. Stewart got

631
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:23,960
to have two working eyes and the
working body because he would be extremely confused

632
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:29,159
though by which side of the pillow
was the coolest. Did Stuart Scott die

633
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:30,880
or did the rest of his body
just become like the same way as his

634
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:37,000
eye. The world will never know. Yeah, anyway, it's real chicken

635
00:43:37,039 --> 00:43:39,360
or egg situation. No, they
have cooling technology, pillows and sheets like,

636
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:44,199
all that stuff is cooling. There
really is no cooler side of the

637
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:45,519
pillow or coolings side of the player
because it's all the same. It's it's

638
00:43:45,519 --> 00:43:50,519
incredible. Right now, ghost bet
is offering a flash sail forty percent off

639
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ghost bed bundles when you get a
mattress in an adjustable bass, So if

640
00:43:52,639 --> 00:43:55,679
you want to throw in the pillows
or sheets or anything else, like you

641
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:59,960
literally like it's almost like it's almost
half off for all that stuff. It's

642
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:04,760
an incredible deal. They're already really
inexpensive mattresses and everything like that, and

643
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,719
then you're getting so much more off
if you just bundle it or if you

644
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,119
want to get everything Oli Cart.
You don't need sheets or don't need a

645
00:44:10,159 --> 00:44:15,480
mattress or whatever, you just need
to get like one thing. Go to

646
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ghostbed dot com, Forward slash Drinking
Bros. And use the promo code Drinking

647
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Bros. And you'll get thirty percent
off everything. Yeah, any item you

648
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,800
want, whether it's just the sheets
or just the pillow, or you just

649
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want pillow and sheets, you know
whatever, like you get third percent off.

650
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:32,920
Still a great deal. And these
mattresses, by the way, they

651
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:36,880
find they do do financing. It's
only like thirty five dollars a month,

652
00:44:37,079 --> 00:44:40,639
zero down, zero percent. And
again that's ghostbed dot com Forward Slash Drinking

653
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Bros. The bundle is forty percent
off. The code Drinking Bros. Will

654
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get you thirty percent off just the
rest of it, Ali Cart or whatever

655
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:53,159
ghostbd Man. I mean, they're
they're awesome. I love them. I

656
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:57,920
love I was actually just laying on
the mattress in the studio. I lay

657
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:00,320
on one every night. I know
you do. It's fantastic. I'm not

658
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:05,159
there yet, but I do want
to get one very badly. Next up,

659
00:45:05,199 --> 00:45:08,719
we have a company I'm currently working
with or in the process of kind

660
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:15,440
of policy Genius. Whoo, polsy
genius, all about policy genius. Summer

661
00:45:15,519 --> 00:45:19,480
is pretty much over. We're about
to be in fall, and mother nature

662
00:45:19,519 --> 00:45:22,400
does everything to prepare prepare for a
new season. And you need to prepare

663
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by getting life insurance quotes. With
policy Genius, they give you all the

664
00:45:27,199 --> 00:45:32,280
quotes you need. They help you, like it's it's a really cool situation,

665
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:36,239
Like they will shop for you.
Essentially, I do the legwork for

666
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:37,719
you. Yeah, they do all
the they do all the shopping for you.

667
00:45:38,039 --> 00:45:43,199
Like if you or someone who if
you have someone who relies on your

668
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financial support, whether it's a child
or an aging parent, even a business

669
00:45:46,199 --> 00:45:52,840
partner, obviously a wife or husband, you need life insurance, like you

670
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,320
need to be protected, like you're
not, especially unless I mean if you're

671
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:58,199
twenty two. I don't know.
If you have a kid, you need

672
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:00,840
levegends regardless, but if you are
that kid needs life insurance too. Yeah,

673
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:04,840
if you are like you never know, if you are like us in

674
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:08,519
our thirties and married or like Dan
has a dog. Do you know my

675
00:46:08,559 --> 00:46:12,480
parents took a life insurance policy out
on me when I was ten. That's

676
00:46:12,639 --> 00:46:16,239
us. You're lucky. You're still
alive. Yeah, a smart business decision,

677
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:20,199
of course. Yeah, especially in
Philly after what we've learned so far.

678
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:22,519
Right, Yeah, but no,
I mean, you need to provide

679
00:46:22,519 --> 00:46:24,840
for your family, and the best
way to do that is getting life insurance

680
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:29,840
through policy Genius getting the quotes through
them. Most people need ten times of

681
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life insurance coverage that then they get
through their employer. Why policy Genius.

682
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They make it easier to compare quotes
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683
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one place. Why should you compare
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684
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life insurance By comparing quotes to policy
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685
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686
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687
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688
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689
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698
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699
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700
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on extra fees. Nope. Yeah, So head to policy genius dot com

701
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policy Enions. When it comes to insurance,

702
00:48:00,639 --> 00:48:05,000
it's nice to get it right.
That it is rob I think I

703
00:48:05,679 --> 00:48:08,000
like getting it right, pertly,
getting it right about pretty much everything.

704
00:48:08,679 --> 00:48:14,400
Parenting I'm fifty fifty on the kid
might be fine anyway even if I don't

705
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:16,679
get it right. Sure, but
my life insurance will not be fine if

706
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:20,440
I don't get it right. No, and that's going to cover you being

707
00:48:20,639 --> 00:48:22,920
right or wrong with the parenting thing
really well, and speaking of it once

708
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:28,599
you die and I take over your
child and the money. It is Dan's

709
00:48:28,639 --> 00:48:32,039
progeny. But you don't want that. You don't want you want Squeeze,

710
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:37,440
guys, what else we got to
talk about today? Um? I mean

711
00:48:37,519 --> 00:48:39,800
speaking of keeping my child safe from
Dan? We from Dan. We got

712
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:45,360
simply Safe. Big news from my
favorite home security company, the home security

713
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company that will keep Dan out of
my home and away from my child.

714
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Simply that good. Yeah, Simply
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715
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716
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717
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718
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719
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720
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keep watching on your whole yard.
Ten adp rez eight times zoom so you

721
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can zoom in see things clearly in
case somebody's being weird. You can even

722
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catch a license plate with a camera
that good to help capture critical evidence.

723
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It's got it built in spotlight with
color night vision, none of that green

724
00:49:25,679 --> 00:49:30,079
shit. Yeah, and I mean
there's people going around stealing packages these days.

725
00:49:30,119 --> 00:49:34,519
Yeah, package these fuck them.
It's almost eight We're getting into the

726
00:49:34,519 --> 00:49:37,719
holiday season here, just our ordered
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727
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robbin season. So you gotta keep
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728
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and simply saves the way to do
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729
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set up, just takes minutes.
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730
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You can go anywhere in your property.

731
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732
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733
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734
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735
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736
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738
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simply Safe dot com slash softcore.
They're dope. You know who could have

739
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:37,519
used simply Safe. Who just Indian's
palace. I probably could have used it.

740
00:50:38,159 --> 00:50:40,920
When the guy drove through my fence, yeah you could. You super

741
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:45,920
could have. Yeah, they caught
him because he drove so far through my

742
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:50,000
fence that he had no choices.
Midday. It was three o'clock in the

743
00:50:50,039 --> 00:50:52,239
afternoon. Sometimes you just junk at
three o'clock on a Tuesday, so you

744
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:55,360
go into a bar and beauty a
play guitar, and you know, sometimes

745
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:59,000
you know you're so fucked, You're
like, I'm just gonna stay parted.

746
00:51:00,159 --> 00:51:02,000
Everyone saw it. Yeah, yeah, I'm fucked. But if it was

747
00:51:02,159 --> 00:51:07,719
nighttime, it could have been helpful. Yeah, simply safe dot com slashed

748
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:13,360
softcore softcore look back to this show. But yeah, so there was some

749
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:17,800
a little bit of murder from some
light chariot rioting and you know, no

750
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:21,960
maig deal whatever, get over it. Most of the murderers were captured and

751
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:25,079
executed, but a Blue supporter and
a Green supporter who had killed people,

752
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:31,519
escaped from jail and took sanctuary in
a church. Why were there riots,

753
00:51:31,559 --> 00:51:35,800
you asked what it might have been
due to At the time, I don't

754
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:37,599
know if this caused these riots.
So there's always riots, but people were

755
00:51:37,599 --> 00:51:44,239
a little extra prickly because Green fans
were being accused of awful things like being

756
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:51,960
blasphemers or Samaritans or Jews. That's
a bad one. Yeah, yeah.

757
00:51:52,079 --> 00:51:54,039
Didn't you get called a Jew at
a Tennessee game? Got called a jew

758
00:51:54,079 --> 00:51:59,599
pretty hard? It was a hard
j jew at a Tennessee game. I

759
00:51:59,679 --> 00:52:01,760
look, if you saw me passing
you on the street, you would not

760
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:05,599
know I was a Jewish person.
I would get pretty waspy. Yeah,

761
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:09,119
like I was boat shoes four inches
seems short, five inches seemed short.

762
00:52:09,119 --> 00:52:15,239
It's like Bricks Brothers Poll twenty eleven. Frash, yeah, fat dipping.

763
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:17,760
I actually bumped into a guy.
You guys watch Jew, and I'm like,

764
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:21,599
whoa are you sure? That wasn't
the accent? Like he was just

765
00:52:21,599 --> 00:52:27,599
like watch it chew like you you
know it was watch qu No, it

766
00:52:27,639 --> 00:52:30,559
was. It was a hard joo. He was like, watch it Jew.

767
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:36,679
The stink in his voice came with
the jew part, not the watch.

768
00:52:36,679 --> 00:52:38,480
It's really upsetic that he could sniff
you out. It's like, do

769
00:52:38,519 --> 00:52:42,559
I smell like Montza again? Like
what's going on? That's just like that's

770
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:45,800
that's such as just finally honed.
I was impressed. I was impressed by

771
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:49,239
his prejudice, honestly, I was
like that that's pretty. He could sniff

772
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:52,559
it out. He got it,
knows like a bloodholmet, Like goddamn dude.

773
00:52:52,639 --> 00:52:57,440
Yeah, but can we start referring
to people the Jewish background as greens?

774
00:52:58,519 --> 00:53:00,880
Oh? Because yeah, because they
root, because the Greens are Jewish?

775
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:07,000
No, because they love money?
A classic yeah, Daniel, good

776
00:53:07,039 --> 00:53:14,039
one. And they were, they
were being accused, they were. It

777
00:53:14,079 --> 00:53:17,840
didn't help that they were being accused
of these things by um people in Justinian's

778
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:22,800
camp, right, not Justinian himself
that I'm aware of, but it's people

779
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:28,039
close to in his court or whatever
you want to call it. Did that

780
00:53:28,079 --> 00:53:30,519
purp out bud, Yeah, you
got it. There we go. So

781
00:53:30,559 --> 00:53:34,920
the Blues and Greens um, despite
you know, they murdered each other,

782
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:37,639
so they were kind of like they
wanted their boys to be spared execution.

783
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:39,679
Sure, they were like fuck this, you know, like we always murder

784
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,960
each other, Like, get over
it, Come on, guys, is

785
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:45,440
it that big a deal? So
at the next chariot race, they shouted

786
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:50,599
in unison, which was uncommon for
two fan bases to shout something in Unison

787
00:53:50,920 --> 00:54:00,519
at Justinian for the definitely confirmed murderers
to be spared because reasons like really,

788
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:02,639
it's like, we can kill each
other, but we don't like the government

789
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:06,679
killing us for killing each And as
a small government guy, I agree with

790
00:54:06,679 --> 00:54:08,400
that. Yeah, absolutely, let
people murder each other. The government has

791
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:14,400
no place in what kind of bullets
I put into anyone else's bodies as long

792
00:54:14,440 --> 00:54:16,119
as they're trying to put bullets into
me, and I'm trying to put bullets

793
00:54:16,119 --> 00:54:20,239
into them. If you shouldn't put
bullets in If we're consentually trying to put

794
00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:22,239
bullets into each other, what say
does the government, right, I don't

795
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:28,519
need the government to hand out bullets, yeah, or implement them into other

796
00:54:28,559 --> 00:54:31,159
people. Yeah. Yeah, I'm
just sick of it, right, sick

797
00:54:31,159 --> 00:54:36,119
of the government getting into that or
I guess in this time frame, arrows,

798
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:39,519
arrows or knives, spears, daggers, it's big days. Vinegar sponges,

799
00:54:40,079 --> 00:54:44,360
Well, that's for different things.
That was five years prior. They

800
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:47,599
were still using those other thing.
Okay, technology was a little slower back

801
00:54:47,639 --> 00:54:53,239
then, except for on the cherry
it's probably yeah, cherry technology is incredible.

802
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:57,880
Yeah, chers just looked like a
fucking Ford Fiesta back then, just

803
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:00,480
like they were just going dude.
They were much like f one where they're

804
00:55:00,519 --> 00:55:05,079
just putting all this money into their
cars. Yeah and nothing and nothing else,

805
00:55:05,119 --> 00:55:08,559
nothing else. Yeah. Um.
So this was actually pretty common for

806
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:14,719
chariot factions to chant demands at the
emperor between races, but it was usually

807
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:15,840
like a faction, So you know, I was going to be like,

808
00:55:16,599 --> 00:55:19,559
I don't know if tom I had
just bad at the apple, like lower

809
00:55:19,599 --> 00:55:23,840
taxes or someone else would be like
lift this embargo or like free this prisoner

810
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:28,039
or whatever the fuck. They would
they would shout their political or like free

811
00:55:28,039 --> 00:55:30,519
hat yeah, like free hat yeah, like they would lower They would shout

812
00:55:30,519 --> 00:55:34,719
those things. It was rare.
They would chant in unison though, like

813
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:37,440
teams together. So at this point, Justinian was still like a really young

814
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:42,400
emperor and people didn't necessarily like him
because a he had raised the shit out

815
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:46,559
of taxes be uh those that tax
raising hurt the influence and wealth of rich

816
00:55:46,559 --> 00:55:51,920
families. He also kind of cleaned
house on like lower levels civil servant stuff,

817
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:54,880
so people who were like corrupt and
making money on corruption couldn't do that

818
00:55:54,960 --> 00:56:00,400
anymore. And also people were just
assholes to new emperors. Yeah you should

819
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:05,440
be. Yeah. Um, so
Justinian kind of caves to the mob and

820
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:10,599
spares these two guys of execution,
just execution. Then the mob immediately starts

821
00:56:10,599 --> 00:56:15,400
demanding that these two guys also be
pardoned of the murders. They definitely committed.

822
00:56:15,679 --> 00:56:19,800
They already had their execution stayed.
So I don't know what else you

823
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:22,880
would need, but weird that an
angry you couldn't appease an angry mob.

824
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:24,760
You give an angry mob a cookie. Yeah, they're gonna ask for some

825
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:34,280
milk. That's crazy, crazy that
the angry mob free. So uh,

826
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:37,719
this massive chariot race. The crowd
goes from chanting, um, their favorite

827
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:42,199
color, like the greens will be
like green, green, green, really

828
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:45,000
really inspiring. Chance, these are
the first fans ever, you know,

829
00:56:45,679 --> 00:56:52,239
let's go blue. Lower taxes,
Yeah, pardon the killers. Yeah,

830
00:56:52,519 --> 00:57:00,199
of self defense. Consensual stabbing.
I don't want to go to these now.

831
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:06,840
Yeah, a consensual stabbing. Well
even a chariot game. Yeah,

832
00:57:06,519 --> 00:57:08,719
that the same thing. This is
on my bucket list of time travel.

833
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:12,920
Should show up and yellow. Everyone's
like, fuck this guy. Actually,

834
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:15,960
I'll bring my I'm gonna wear my
Saint Louis blues Jersey to the They wouldn't

835
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:19,239
know what it said, I know, but they'd be blue on it.

836
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:22,800
Yeah. Uh so that's fine.
Um So anyway, the chariot race crowd

837
00:57:24,039 --> 00:57:29,639
after they already got their guys off
but not pardoned. So Justiniane was already

838
00:57:29,639 --> 00:57:31,079
like, all right, I won't
I won't execute them for the murders.

839
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:37,760
And now they were like, say
they didn't do it a bitch. Yeah,

840
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:43,400
you won't. You bend at anyone's
will, don't you, Justinian?

841
00:57:43,559 --> 00:57:46,360
Yeah, he was like no.
So they started chanting nick gun gut,

842
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:50,639
nique gut, which means victory or
to conquer yea, be careful there,

843
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:53,920
Yeah, yeah, that's something you
want to be Nu Greek for victory or

844
00:57:54,119 --> 00:57:59,559
I don't tell you. Then uh, pretty much they were like fuck it,

845
00:57:59,599 --> 00:58:01,920
and they started assaulting the palace,
which overlooked the hipodrome. So the

846
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:07,480
Eastern Room Empire Imperial Palace basically had
like a box overlook It was next to

847
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:09,079
the stadium, next to the hippodrome, had a box overlooking it, so

848
00:58:09,199 --> 00:58:14,559
Justinian could preside over the races or
whatever just from his palace didn't have to

849
00:58:14,679 --> 00:58:17,079
leave. So they just were like, fuck it, we're going to burn

850
00:58:17,119 --> 00:58:22,320
this bitch down. For the next
five days, the Imperial Palace was under

851
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:25,960
siege. They were trying to light
it on fire. The entire city went

852
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:30,320
into full riot mode. They were
burning everything down. They burned down the

853
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:34,960
Hagia Sophia, which was like arguably
the most beautiful church in the world at

854
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:37,599
the time. These are Christians,
by the way, we were just like

855
00:58:37,639 --> 00:58:40,559
fuck it. Yeah, best emper
to ever do it. Huh. This

856
00:58:40,639 --> 00:58:44,719
is early on, all right,
he learned after this. This was his

857
00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:51,719
nine to eleven. This is like
fucking this is Philly whenever they win anything.

858
00:58:52,079 --> 00:58:55,239
No, this is more Vancouver after
they lost Stanley Cup. Yeah,

859
00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:59,880
or La after they win anything.
La, this actually gets a bad date.

860
00:59:00,559 --> 00:59:04,599
Or Dayton. Yeah, but Dayton's
more controlled. LA would just fuck

861
00:59:04,599 --> 00:59:07,800
shit up? Was Dayton ConTroll?
Like Penn State after I got after the

862
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:12,199
coach gets fired for covering up boy
rape. Or Morgantown and now on a

863
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:15,239
Tuesday. Yeah, but you just
have to be angry about living in Morgantown.

864
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:21,719
Yeah, burn the couch, just
do it. Might couches there.

865
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:23,880
So yeah, they're they're they're essentially
and these are all the fans combined.

866
00:59:24,079 --> 00:59:28,760
The Reds the Blues, the Greens, the whites, they are all they

867
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:32,960
united to destroy their entire city and
depose the emperor because they wanted the killers

868
00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:38,639
to be free because two murderers weren't
pardoned enough. I love sports, It's

869
00:59:38,679 --> 00:59:44,159
my favorite thing about humans. So
it was like just every NFL team come

870
00:59:44,239 --> 00:59:46,639
together against Roger Goodell. Literally,
yeah, pretty much. And so for

871
00:59:46,679 --> 00:59:51,119
the next five days, the imperial
palaces underseas the city was being ransacked.

872
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:59,440
Senators and other aristocrats who hated Justinian
and his taxes and reforms started funding and

873
00:59:59,599 --> 01:00:04,599
leading the different factions of chariot racing
fans to try to like finish the job,

874
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:08,079
and yet Justin even the fuck out
um. At one point they even

875
01:00:08,079 --> 01:00:13,320
declared a new emperor, Hypatius,
who was the nephew of Anastasius, the

876
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:15,719
first, who was the guy who
chose the reds to not rock the boat

877
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:22,840
too much. Man, Yeah,
Anastasius was yeah. So Justinian was like,

878
01:00:23,199 --> 01:00:27,239
I thought about fleeing. He was
like, fuck this, I gotta

879
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:29,400
get the funk out of here.
They're gonna murder me. But his wife

880
01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:30,880
was like, there's no way I'm
going back to getting on the stage.

881
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:36,559
So I'm not doing the old go
again. I'm not letting geese rise out

882
01:00:36,559 --> 01:00:39,280
of my vagina anymore. I'm an
empress now, God damn it. I'd

883
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:43,960
serve my name made it. Yeah. Uh. Theodora was actually like,

884
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:45,920
fuck this, I'm empress and I
will die in empress like I'm not gonna

885
01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:50,440
be ever and I respect that.
Yeah. I think her direct quote was,

886
01:00:50,519 --> 01:00:53,360
purple makes a fine burial shroud because
purple is the imperial color. Yeah.

887
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:57,519
That's pretty boss. That's a that's
a good I love that. It's

888
01:00:57,559 --> 01:00:59,920
like, I'm not being poor again, yeah, or not even poor.

889
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:02,320
I'm not being middle class again.
I'm rich now fuck out. You know

890
01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:07,320
all good being riches. People are
willing to die before not being rich.

891
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:10,719
It's that good. Yeah. Yeah, that's a that's a historically accurate statement,

892
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:16,880
like that's throughout time. So Justinian
decides to stay in the palace,

893
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:22,559
hold up in the palace as the
city of city's a chariot racing fans are

894
01:01:22,559 --> 01:01:25,159
pretty much all hanging out in the
Hippodrome, which is next door. That's

895
01:01:25,239 --> 01:01:29,119
kind of like their base of operations
as they go out into the city and

896
01:01:29,239 --> 01:01:32,199
just murder and loot and everything that
they were accused of doing before. They

897
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:39,440
just do. Now much of the
city was destroyed. Like it was bad.

898
01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:45,079
It was not as bad as when
the Crusaders sat Constantinople in the twelve

899
01:01:45,159 --> 01:01:49,320
hundreds, but this is probably the
worst until then. And then the only

900
01:01:49,320 --> 01:01:53,760
one after that that was bad was
the Turks taking it overall. Like I

901
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:58,280
said, they destroyed the Hegia Sophia
and a bunch of other churches. Finally,

902
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:05,039
Justinian and some of his advisors,
including Belisarius, who is arguably one

903
01:02:05,039 --> 01:02:08,480
of the greatest generals of all time, come up with a plan to figure

904
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:13,920
out how to not have the palace
burned down and be deposed, etc.

905
01:02:15,039 --> 01:02:22,360
Did they release the green bears?
The Green bears released the green best I

906
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:27,280
kind of wish they did. Yeah, Theodora's father or Theodosia's father just comes

907
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:31,159
in with a legion of bears,
just handles everything. No, not quite,

908
01:02:31,239 --> 01:02:37,880
unfortunately, So Justinian sends one of
his advisors, a eunuch by the

909
01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:43,360
name of Narsis, into the hippodrome, which is where all the murderers are,

910
01:02:43,599 --> 01:02:45,239
with a sack of gold. So
essentially a time put a ball less

911
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:52,559
man with a sack of gold somewhere
and historians. Historians noted that he was

912
01:02:52,639 --> 01:03:00,239
of slight build So essentially, Justinian
sent a tiny man with no testicles dressing

913
01:03:00,360 --> 01:03:07,480
a bag of gold into an arena
full of murderers. That's the best thing

914
01:03:07,519 --> 01:03:10,880
I've ever heard in my life.
And I can't imagine it went well.

915
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:17,880
You'd be surprised what he just started
spinning with the gold, so round housing

916
01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:22,519
everyone. The tiny, ballless man
with his sack of gold. He went

917
01:03:22,639 --> 01:03:28,159
up to the blue fans and he
was like, hey, this is in

918
01:03:28,159 --> 01:03:32,000
case you forgot like Justinian, he
roots for the blues too, you know,

919
01:03:32,079 --> 01:03:34,960
like he's with you, Like he's
with you guys, like he roots

920
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:37,360
for the Blues. And also,
in case you didn't know, the guy

921
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:42,119
that the new guy that the senators
and everyone want to be crowned emperor,

922
01:03:42,559 --> 01:03:45,519
he roots for green. Yeah,
so here's a whole bunch of gold.

923
01:03:46,159 --> 01:03:51,440
Think about everything I just said.
Sly. It's a sly move. So

924
01:03:51,519 --> 01:03:52,360
the Blue fans. So he didn't
go up to the blue fans as a

925
01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:55,440
whole. He wasn't like, hey, I've got like there's like elite blue

926
01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:59,519
fans. He told them the boosters. Yeah, he went to the boot

927
01:03:59,519 --> 01:04:02,079
the Blue boosters, yeah, right, and then the Blue boosters talk amongst

928
01:04:02,079 --> 01:04:05,760
themselves and then turned around and talked
to the rest of the Blue fans.

929
01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:11,920
And then in the middle of Hipacius's
coronation, the Blue fans stormed out of

930
01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:15,679
the hippodrome, no longer supporting any
of it. And the General Belisarius,

931
01:04:15,719 --> 01:04:23,119
who is essentially like on par with
like Patton Napoleon, Like this guy is

932
01:04:23,159 --> 01:04:27,679
a goat in terms of the pantheon
of generals throughout history. Him and a

933
01:04:27,679 --> 01:04:30,440
bunch of troops roll in and kill
thirty thousand people in the hippodrome. That's

934
01:04:30,480 --> 01:04:35,119
awesome, Just fucking slaughter everyone.
That's all the fans. So there are

935
01:04:35,119 --> 01:04:40,400
no fans left. Oh, there's
Blue fans except Blue yeah left. At

936
01:04:40,400 --> 01:04:44,000
that point they won. That's how
you win chariot racing. Yeah, and

937
01:04:44,039 --> 01:04:48,400
that's chariot racing, right, podcast
racing joke. The Blues were playing the

938
01:04:48,440 --> 01:04:54,599
long game past, so that was
the Nika riots, which was kind of

939
01:04:54,639 --> 01:04:59,360
the main thing, and chariot racing
still um existed throughout the only other thing

940
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:01,760
I that that's like really of like
hilarious interesting. I mean, like these

941
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:04,559
people were a problem back in the
day when you could slaughter people for having

942
01:05:04,559 --> 01:05:11,719
a coup. Jesus fucking shit.
That was like pretty much the only I

943
01:05:11,719 --> 01:05:14,639
mean, like that's like the most
famous example. These people are a problem

944
01:05:14,679 --> 01:05:18,280
throughout Eastern Roman obviously, just constant
riots stuff like that, Like they're a

945
01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:21,320
problem. Where they're a problem,
they're a little bit of a little bit

946
01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:28,079
of ba it depends. What's funny
though, is during Constantinople's last stand a

947
01:05:28,119 --> 01:05:31,079
good like eight hundred years later,
at this point, the Eastern Roman Empire

948
01:05:31,239 --> 01:05:35,039
is essentially just a city state.
They've lost all their territory to the Turks,

949
01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:41,039
to Christian other Western nations, everything. It's pretty much just the city.

950
01:05:41,039 --> 01:05:45,039
And they still own the city because
it's a really well defended city.

951
01:05:45,079 --> 01:05:48,679
Just the walls alone are incredible.
So I'm sorry. This is like nine

952
01:05:49,079 --> 01:05:56,119
years later, So the Turks are
approaching and the fourteen hundreds, and you

953
01:05:56,159 --> 01:05:59,719
know, they're ready to take the
city. They've got everything else around it,

954
01:06:00,559 --> 01:06:03,000
and you know, the Byzantine Empire, the East from an empire whatever

955
01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:05,199
it is like, well, yeah, the West is going to come to

956
01:06:05,239 --> 01:06:08,400
help us, but we have to
defend it in the meantime, and they

957
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:12,320
don't really have that many troops or
anything like that. So they actually arm

958
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:16,679
chariot teams chariot fans. Okay,
so this is where the Green Bears come

959
01:06:16,679 --> 01:06:18,480
in the play. I was about
to say, now we get to the

960
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:21,360
Green Bears. Now we release the
Green Bears. Yeah, no, they're

961
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:26,280
no Green Bears. Release damn it. They are. They are mcguffin.

962
01:06:26,639 --> 01:06:30,360
The Green Bears Are mcguffin in this
entire play? Are Yeah? Am I

963
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:33,199
right on that? No? Red
Herring, red Herring, Yes, mcguffin

964
01:06:33,239 --> 01:06:38,039
is the thing that's the plot.
But is red Herring is erroneous? Yeah

965
01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:40,800
right, Okay, can't stop thinking
about the Green Bears. I know,

966
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:44,039
I know. I don't know why
they're training bears. I couldn't find it.

967
01:06:44,679 --> 01:06:46,719
I want to know how they were
involved with the chario' racing. Yeah,

968
01:06:46,760 --> 01:06:51,079
I have no idea, damn it. It's the The Eastern Roman Empire

969
01:06:51,159 --> 01:06:54,760
has these chariot fans man the walls, like, oh, you guys kill

970
01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:58,840
each other all the time. You'll
either kill some Turks, but Turkish soldiers

971
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:04,360
with cannons and guns pretty easy to
beat. They would have rocked. Yeah,

972
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:06,920
they would have gotten rocked if they
had John Smith I'm just gonna say

973
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:11,239
that. Yeah, john Smith would
be headed all those Turks one by one.

974
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:14,800
This is roughly the same time frame. I think john Smith was maybe

975
01:07:14,840 --> 01:07:17,119
born but young. Anyway, you
said fourteen hundreds, right, late Foe

976
01:07:17,639 --> 01:07:21,199
would be mid to late fourteen.
Was was he a hundred years later?

977
01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:25,199
Oh? No, he was like
sixteen. Okay, yeah, okay,

978
01:07:25,280 --> 01:07:28,599
not soon Tiver then anyway, Yeah, the chariot fans were much better at

979
01:07:28,679 --> 01:07:31,239
killing each other than they were at
killing well armed and trained Turkish soldiers with

980
01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:34,400
cannons. Get out of here.
Yeah. So, um, that didn't

981
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:42,079
work out so well. Constantinople fell
and thus ended the chariot racist chariot racing

982
01:07:42,199 --> 01:07:45,840
once and for all. They've been
in decline since at that point. But

983
01:07:45,320 --> 01:07:48,440
yeah, that was their last stand. They didn't do a great job.

984
01:07:48,719 --> 01:07:51,639
No, the city fell. So
what team would have you been on?

985
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:56,800
What's your faction? Uh? You
know, I'm going with Blues, Like

986
01:07:57,480 --> 01:08:01,320
I already a route for a team
called the Blues, well as a former

987
01:08:01,400 --> 01:08:08,039
charot racer myself during a UCF Greek
week. Yeah, I'm a purple guy.

988
01:08:08,639 --> 01:08:12,199
There was no purple team right then. I'm closest to purple blue and

989
01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:15,840
red. I'm in between purple and
red. That's the easiest. Yeah,

990
01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:19,359
you're getting you're murdered first. You
can't ride. You can't fucking switch hit

991
01:08:19,439 --> 01:08:25,840
teams. Dude, just did I'll
see in the parking lot. All right,

992
01:08:26,479 --> 01:08:28,760
perfect, Yeah, you have to
come with me. We're both blue.

993
01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:31,520
Yeah, we're blue. It was
the fourth team White white. That

994
01:08:31,680 --> 01:08:34,840
was a white team. Yeah,
I can't be. I can't be.

995
01:08:34,880 --> 01:08:38,399
The guy's like, I'm the white
team. White pride. White have that.

996
01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:42,399
Yeah, white pride work out doesn't
usually work out well for a while.

997
01:08:42,560 --> 01:08:46,239
Says that it is all the colors
to actually know, yes, you're

998
01:08:46,279 --> 01:08:55,399
right back. I didn't hear anything
about the whites, so yeah, quite

999
01:08:55,399 --> 01:09:00,640
a bit throughout history, yet I've
never heard about the white sneaky sneaky whole

1000
01:09:00,680 --> 01:09:05,399
time, who was left after everything
else was done. Yeah, No,

1001
01:09:05,520 --> 01:09:11,239
the whites and reds were pretty like
B tier. It would be like this,

1002
01:09:11,560 --> 01:09:14,399
Yeah, the whites, the whites
and reds were pretty be tier teams.

1003
01:09:14,439 --> 01:09:16,800
They didn't really get much. And
it's type of thing like so you

1004
01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:20,720
could switch teams right like writers were
like or racers were like free agents.

1005
01:09:20,760 --> 01:09:26,039
So if a red or a white
racer got pretty good chances are blue or

1006
01:09:26,079 --> 01:09:30,560
greens. And by the way,
another huge thing is so like I'm you

1007
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:39,319
know, yeah, go whites,
that's our show. Well another thing,

1008
01:09:39,319 --> 01:09:41,880
it was interesting. I didn't read
too much into this, but part of

1009
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:47,680
the economy around cherry racing was not
It was gambling, huge, huge gambling.

1010
01:09:47,760 --> 01:09:53,239
And obviously this is uh pre any
sort of regulatory anything. I mean,

1011
01:09:53,239 --> 01:09:56,359
there was regulatory a little bit,
but as you can imagine, fair

1012
01:09:56,359 --> 01:10:00,399
amount of corruption. I say the
fix was probably always in yes, well

1013
01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:05,880
only to an extent, because you
couldn't fully fix something because thousands of people

1014
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:12,000
would start committing murders right like they
had there sounds like that. That's exactly

1015
01:10:12,079 --> 01:10:14,199
what happened. I don't have to
be on the up and up to an

1016
01:10:14,199 --> 01:10:15,920
extent. Well, a lot of
times people would be accused other people of

1017
01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:20,479
fixing it. Everybody. It was
always a riot, always until you send

1018
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:25,720
in the National Guard and pull a
Kent state. That's right. Yeah,

1019
01:10:25,720 --> 01:10:29,239
they did a bit of a Kent
state for sure. Thirty thousand deaths.

1020
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:31,720
By the way, I believe that
was like ten percent of the city that

1021
01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:35,800
the army just murked in the hippodrome. Really, yeah, that's awesome.

1022
01:10:36,079 --> 01:10:39,680
Between that and the Black Death,
I feel like, uh, you know,

1023
01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:43,119
they did a little population control,
that was right, This was all

1024
01:10:43,159 --> 01:10:45,800
pre Black Death. Yeah yeah,
yeah, they really probably regretted taking out

1025
01:10:45,800 --> 01:10:50,399
ten percent of anything before. Really
Justinian came into his own after this and

1026
01:10:50,439 --> 01:10:56,840
became one of the best emperors in
Roman history East or West. It's a

1027
01:10:56,840 --> 01:11:00,680
bit of a heat check and then
he kind of came back and stronger than

1028
01:11:00,720 --> 01:11:02,199
ever. Yeah. You know,
it's like you kind of have an awkward

1029
01:11:02,199 --> 01:11:06,319
first swing, awkward first shot,
and then breakfast ball. Yeah yeah,

1030
01:11:06,680 --> 01:11:10,279
for sure, then you get going. But that's all I got for the

1031
01:11:10,359 --> 01:11:14,319
cherry race and a just so you
know, insane fandom. It's been around

1032
01:11:14,319 --> 01:11:24,600
forever, a lot older than you
think. Um Um. I learned that

1033
01:11:25,640 --> 01:11:29,600
I'm right when I'm angry about sports, and that my ancestors were probably just

1034
01:11:30,199 --> 01:11:32,960
that my ancestors were just as dumb. Yeah yeah, yeah. In fact,

1035
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:39,399
we're dumber because these people had so
much less to define themselves with.

1036
01:11:40,720 --> 01:11:46,279
I yeah, like, there's so
many options for us to ours. I

1037
01:11:46,279 --> 01:11:50,000
think I'm dumber for not being mad
about more sports. Oh you want,

1038
01:11:50,039 --> 01:11:56,000
so you want like twenty four seven
calendar, like twelve months That's why I

1039
01:11:56,079 --> 01:12:00,520
would say that we're not even real
sports fans with how little we care if

1040
01:12:00,520 --> 01:12:02,560
we're not going to kill somebody over
it. I'm just saying, man,

1041
01:12:02,640 --> 01:12:08,079
if you know Alabama comes through Gainesville
next week, they're gonna embarrass us,

1042
01:12:08,159 --> 01:12:11,479
and then I'm going I should be
able to just come murder them. I

1043
01:12:11,479 --> 01:12:15,199
mean, I have watched you yell
at your wife during a Florida Alabama game,

1044
01:12:15,239 --> 01:12:18,720
actually during a Florida Albama game and
target parking lot. It's a classic

1045
01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:23,600
Jake Goleman joke. I've never seen
my Yeah, if you've ever seen my

1046
01:12:23,600 --> 01:12:26,239
stand up, you know that's a
throwback from Dan um. No. Yeah,

1047
01:12:26,359 --> 01:12:30,479
I uh my wife went to the
bathroom when we threw an interception.

1048
01:12:30,640 --> 01:12:31,359
Yeah, and then she came out
and said what happened. I was like,

1049
01:12:31,399 --> 01:12:33,439
what do you mean? What happened? Why do I have to live

1050
01:12:33,520 --> 01:12:39,640
this again? Why why are you
making me explain it? There's a replay.

1051
01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:43,600
He's like, what happened? You
just like leave me a lot Like

1052
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:45,800
I was pretty much the thing.
You're like, oh, I ask someone

1053
01:12:45,840 --> 01:12:48,880
else. Fuck. Yeah. I've
calmed down quite a bit since then.

1054
01:12:50,119 --> 01:12:55,920
Sometimes sometimes, yeah, you guys
to do abandon all hope. You just

1055
01:12:55,960 --> 01:12:59,119
abandoned all hope. Oh I was
you. You can ask Katie. I

1056
01:12:59,119 --> 01:13:01,079
actually gave up on us thirty seconds
into the game because we had a bad

1057
01:13:01,119 --> 01:13:03,880
first drive. And she's like,
you're it's fourteen minutes in and as like

1058
01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:10,520
you're classic one whites. Yeah,
classic whites, you know, Uh,

1059
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:14,680
but yeah, damn would you learn
I mean we just went back and forth

1060
01:13:14,720 --> 01:13:15,920
home what we learned. It's just
that, oh, yeah, you're right.

1061
01:13:16,039 --> 01:13:23,039
Sports fandom. Sports fandom has been
and always will be stupid as hell.

1062
01:13:23,920 --> 01:13:29,319
Yeah, I love it, but
like we're predisposed to essentially, it's

1063
01:13:29,359 --> 01:13:32,680
kind of like tribalism. It's just
like you crazy, you're you're naturally geared

1064
01:13:32,720 --> 01:13:36,439
to go towards one side or the
other. Um, And yeah, there's

1065
01:13:36,439 --> 01:13:43,079
no hope for humanity because we're fucking
cheering for colors at this point. Like

1066
01:13:44,399 --> 01:13:49,680
you just assigned your self esteem to
a piece of laundry, Yes, like

1067
01:13:50,840 --> 01:13:55,159
a piece of laundry that you have
no control over. Yes, you do.

1068
01:13:55,279 --> 01:13:58,479
If you do the same thing,
if you realize, if you if

1069
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:00,920
your team wins and you follow that
same routine every time, your team will

1070
01:14:00,920 --> 01:14:04,439
always win. Everyone knows that it's
fair. Yeah, that's what I do,

1071
01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:09,359
and that sports gambling has been around
since you could gamble in anything.

1072
01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:14,399
Oh, sports gambling predates this by
dollars. Yeah, I'm sure like you

1073
01:14:15,199 --> 01:14:17,640
you could see like two turtles racing
or just like kind of walking on the

1074
01:14:17,720 --> 01:14:20,880
beach, probably been on that.
Yeah, I mean there's ancient Egyptian board

1075
01:14:20,880 --> 01:14:25,800
games that were like gambling related,
so like a sports gambling is much older

1076
01:14:25,800 --> 01:14:28,239
than this. I bet you we
were betting on when the sun would go

1077
01:14:28,279 --> 01:14:30,680
down before we understood how the sun
worked. Wouldn't surprise me. Yeah,

1078
01:14:30,760 --> 01:14:34,840
I bet it happens in four clicks
or whatever we were using though, it's

1079
01:14:34,840 --> 01:14:39,840
clicks measure time, clicks, not
like distance, but like you just click.

1080
01:14:40,239 --> 01:14:43,119
There's like there's like a thing that
happens, yeah, or a Dirk

1081
01:14:43,680 --> 01:14:46,680
yeah, derk whatever. Yeah,
Yeah, it's uh, it's pretty fun

1082
01:14:46,840 --> 01:14:50,319
too. I like days are the
type of things that make me feel good

1083
01:14:50,880 --> 01:14:55,840
about humanity when I like like him, like, dude, what are we

1084
01:14:55,880 --> 01:14:59,079
doing or whatever? Like the same
ship we have always been always yeah,

1085
01:14:59,199 --> 01:15:03,119
same ship we always have done getting
ratty about sports. These people are people

1086
01:15:03,640 --> 01:15:09,479
like people don't and honestly, if
anything, it makes me happy because I

1087
01:15:09,640 --> 01:15:14,319
think how much better things are.
How often are three thousand sports fans ambushed

1088
01:15:14,319 --> 01:15:16,520
and murdered I don't know, in
the streets by other sports fan. I'd

1089
01:15:16,560 --> 01:15:19,520
argue we have too many options now, so like it would have been cool

1090
01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:24,399
if there's only four teams in existence. That's why the SEC is going to

1091
01:15:24,439 --> 01:15:28,800
take over all sports. Yeah,
everybody merges together. Yeah, yeah,

1092
01:15:28,840 --> 01:15:32,399
we are the not the what is
another anomaly? The we're the entity.

1093
01:15:32,520 --> 01:15:35,000
We just take over everything. What
is the entity? I don't know,

1094
01:15:35,640 --> 01:15:38,960
but we just take It's not the
alliance, I'll tell you that. Yeah,

1095
01:15:39,199 --> 01:15:41,399
that's the Mega Blocks. Are you
part of the alliance? You're not.

1096
01:15:41,520 --> 01:15:44,560
We're Big twelve. So um,
we are now in an alliance with

1097
01:15:44,600 --> 01:15:46,880
the SEC because you guys have no
other choice because you can't play out of

1098
01:15:46,880 --> 01:15:49,560
conference games against the alliance team.
You don't need to play out of conference

1099
01:15:49,600 --> 01:15:53,319
games. Yeah, we're gonna play
us. It's kind of part of the

1100
01:15:53,319 --> 01:15:59,439
deal for Texas and Oklahoma going to
the SEC. I'm excited from missoo UCF.

1101
01:16:00,199 --> 01:16:01,880
I'm excited for already two and l
whatever. Hey, we got a

1102
01:16:01,880 --> 01:16:06,159
Florida UCF game coming up to two. Two of them in home at home

1103
01:16:06,199 --> 01:16:10,560
ten years. Yep, let's go
dumb. All right, that's all I

1104
01:16:10,600 --> 01:16:14,279
got for this week. Uh yeah, make sure to rate and subscribe obviously

1105
01:16:14,359 --> 01:16:17,359
on iTunes. Um tell a friend
about the podcast. Help us grow be

1106
01:16:17,640 --> 01:16:20,640
you know, we've got got some
mads right now. But it'd be sick

1107
01:16:20,680 --> 01:16:26,600
to continue getting Paige paid to do
this podcast. Buy our swag software history

1108
01:16:26,640 --> 01:16:29,960
dot com. Yeah, software history
dot com. From merch we'll get some.

1109
01:16:30,279 --> 01:16:32,520
Maybe we get some some chariot racing
shirts. Go get Oh, we'll

1110
01:16:32,520 --> 01:16:35,680
start making it's just gonna sit.
It's just gonna be green shirt or just

1111
01:16:35,720 --> 01:16:44,239
go a blue shirt white. That's
the shirt. No, and it's and

1112
01:16:44,560 --> 01:16:46,319
the back of the shirt will just
be a long explanation of why it says

1113
01:16:47,279 --> 01:16:50,319
no listen here back in the room. Back in the Eastern Roman Empire,

1114
01:16:50,319 --> 01:16:54,800
there were four factions of teams,
and it's just a very long textbook explaining

1115
01:16:54,800 --> 01:16:57,439
why it's on a racist shirt.
We'll make that. Yes, so go

1116
01:16:57,520 --> 01:17:00,439
white will be the shirt on the
front. Yeah, the back, well,

1117
01:17:00,520 --> 01:17:03,560
keep you from being paragraph explaining No, it's gonna be it will run

1118
01:17:03,560 --> 01:17:06,079
out of the room. Yeah,
well it's explaining it. We're doing that

1119
01:17:06,079 --> 01:17:11,199
show that's probably antar Wars intro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all

1120
01:17:11,199 --> 01:17:13,800
I gotta check out. Please buy
our merchandise, and yeah, rate rate

1121
01:17:13,880 --> 01:17:15,760
review. Tell a friend about the
podcast. Yeah, I mean that's the

1122
01:17:15,760 --> 01:17:19,159
best way to kind of grow this
podcast. Just you know, go take

1123
01:17:19,199 --> 01:17:23,239
your friends phone, take your dates
phone, you go on tender Day,

1124
01:17:23,279 --> 01:17:26,760
take their phone, subscribe to our
podcast without them knowing. Also, if

1125
01:17:26,800 --> 01:17:30,119
you don't like even listening to podcasts, or you've a friend who doesn't like

1126
01:17:30,119 --> 01:17:31,640
listening to podcasts, be like,
hey do this. Do you have like

1127
01:17:31,720 --> 01:17:36,239
an Alexa or something like that,
just have them play the podcast for the

1128
01:17:36,319 --> 01:17:40,439
dog. Yeah. Yeah, we
don't have to actually listen though, Let's

1129
01:17:40,439 --> 01:17:44,239
just play it. Let us make
money from this so we don't have to

1130
01:17:44,239 --> 01:17:45,319
do normal jobs. That's what I'm
saying. And if you do like this

1131
01:17:45,359 --> 01:17:48,279
podcast, keep listening, tell more
people about it, and then we grow

1132
01:17:48,520 --> 01:17:51,560
and we could do more shows every
week. I could do if I could

1133
01:17:51,600 --> 01:17:54,960
do this every day of my life. If you guys listened hard enough,

1134
01:17:55,039 --> 01:17:57,359
is all I'm trying to say.
You guys need to listen harder. You're

1135
01:17:57,439 --> 01:18:00,119
letting Jake down. Yeah, no, I have to you hard work.

1136
01:18:00,199 --> 01:18:04,279
I have to actually work stupid,
all right, See you guys next time.

1137
01:18:04,439 --> 01:18:10,600
For Jake Goldman and Dan Rojester,
I am Rob Fox and you just

1138
01:18:10,640 --> 01:18:11,479
got soft served.