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Yeah, I' m going good
afternoon to everyone. How nice to be

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with you guys on a more chayo
show with you. When you' re

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educating, you can realize that you
fall into a trap when the phrase appears

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in your mom' s dad'
s head as if you wanted to say

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no to your son, but as
long as he doesn' t cry anymore,

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he doesn' t give you away, he stays still, he doesn

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' t make you look bad,
you end up saying yes. You just

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gave him permission, you just gave
him the paddle. You ended up allowing

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him what you didn' t want. You' re falling into a trap

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because you' re wanting to get
out of the bad time as long as

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it doesn' t make the moment
difficult for you. That clearly is,

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or does it mean that you thought
you didn' t agree to grant,

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but as long as it' s
still in that sentence, you ended up

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saying yes. That means that,
beyond what we say, others are miseducated

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according to your educational criteria. So
abused when that little phrase appears in your

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thought, notice that when it comes
to partner relationships, one of the great

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temptations that there are, especially at
the beginning of the relationship, is that

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the couple becomes everything. We leave
friends aside, we want to be with

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the couple all the time, because
it is just part of this great emotion

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that the relationship generates and in that
context of that relationship, suddenly we leave

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everything. And couple relationships, in
order to be healthy couple relationships, have

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to contain projects in common, but
also personal projects, that is, the

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couple has to share. Obviously,
if you want to have children, one

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of those projects in common is going
to be the children, but also certain

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activities or tastes where you share common
interests. But it is very important that

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they enrich themselves at the personal level
of certain activities or hobbies where, from

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the personal point of view, they
can gain growth, that it causes them

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to bring wealth to the relationship,
so that they become attractive or remain attractive

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to each other, because this is
causing the admiration that one continues to have

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for the other. So locking up
in each other ends up boring one'

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s relationship. So always try to
generate a personal development that can maintain the

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attraction to your partner when it comes
to crying the cry of children, in

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general terms, is a complicated issue, because it is something that we want

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to diminish, but not that disappears. And that' s kind of confusing

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when it comes to education, because
when we want, when there are inappropriate

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behaviors, what we want is that
proper behavior disappears. But in the case

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of crying, there' s always
going to be a tangled theme there,

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because people don' t want crying
to be in life anymore. We want

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the crying to stay in the life
of a human being so that it has

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the function for which crying is useful. And crying is useful for venting situations

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that we cannot express with words and
that help to somehow repeat the word,

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but vent emotions. So we want
children to learn to use crying when crying

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is really necessary, it is helpful. But we don' t want the

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crying to be disproportionately out of control. Then we want children to know how

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to make use of crying. So
we want the child to have control over

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the crying and not the crying control
over the child. So teaching a child

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how to cry is a complex subject
that we are going to need, to

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learn, to manage, and for
that I am going to give them strategies

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throughout the days, because we don' t want the child to use crying

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as a manipulative scheme, but that
crying is useful in the life of the

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child and remains useful in the life
of the personati. Hello Tari hears notice

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that a person in the audience is
a question that I thought was very important.

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What validity When a problem merits,
a divorce, what a question.

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What a question, because for what
a couple would be, that strong problem,

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which would be infidelity, let'
s say, is enough to divorce

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and separate. For another couple it' s not. Not making a fraud,

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for example, having made a robbery. For some it' s unpublished,

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no, and then I get away
from you and I don' t

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want to know. And for others
it' s good, because there'

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s some kind of contuvernium that'
s going on. So I can'

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t tell you this way with cracked
board that yes and no, because in

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the consultation it' s this same
topic with this couple Luis and Fernando is

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not explosive and it' s over. And for Mary and Joseph it'

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s not going to be something they' re going to work with and they

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' re going to live with.
What I do think it is is to

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question it has to do with violence. Not okay sexual violence that has to

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do with incest constant abuse of these, at these levels, physical violence in

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range and constant beatings. I do
think it' s better to live apart,

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because apart from everyone else, children
live that anguish constantly they don'

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t know what' s going to
happen and being witnesses to violence is the

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same as living violence. We know
that now without people knowing it. That

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is certainly the case. It seems
that reason has to be validated by the

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person himself and sometimes validated by us. Not to say yes, you also

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have the right to break this not
be what it is for you to live

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better, so that there is more
harmony where the best five people can live

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well and one maybe, I will
live sad or isolated. Well, it

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' s a matter of numbers.
If it' s a question, it

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' s about your values, but
I can' t tell you which one.

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But violence. So, uh,
when you exercise the value of fidelity

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in a couple relationship. Notice that
one of the ideas that is always put

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into people' s lives is a
mistaken idea that values are exercised all the

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time, that at all times in
your life you are living in values.

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And the reality is, no.
Values are exercised at the time when the

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opportunity to lack value is presented and, instead of lacking value, you exercise

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it, that is, while you
are working, you are not being faithful.

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He is being faithful in the moment
when the opportunity to be unfaithful arises

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and in that moment you decide to
be faithful you are honest in the moment

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when you are expected to be true
and tell it. But if at that

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moment the temptation to steal something or
jain is not involved, you' re

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not being honest. We are what
requires specific moral value when the temptation to

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lack moral value appears. So a
person can say I have been faithful all

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my marriage, not faithful in the
times when the opportunity to be unfaithful presents

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itself and you are not. And
that is what makes it valuable for a

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person to be able, at a
specific time in his life, to abide

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by the different moral values. So
if you haven' t been presented with

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the opportunity to be unfaithful, because
you still don' t know if you

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' re faithful, think about what
moral values are those that have tested you

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in life and, therefore, about
that moral values is what you know if

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you' ve been able to show
what capacity you have to face them.

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I' m very happy when I
receive emails like this one that I'

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m going to share with you.
I' m thirteen years old and I

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' m sending you this email because
this year I suggested cutting my hair.

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I' ve got it pretty long. My mom said yes. But the

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problem came when he saw the cut
that I want to be made, because,

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in his words, it' s
a child' s cut. So

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then he told me not because you' re going to look like a kid.

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I kept insisting. It should be
clarified that this happened a week ago

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and at my insistence he justified himself
saying that your grandmother will not like it

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and your aunts will scold me for
giving you permission. So first ask your

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dad to continue with a series of
homophobic comments and other derogatory comments towards people

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with tattoos painted hair. I feel
like my mom thinks you do that makes

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people less professional that makes them look
like criminals all because of my hair and

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a comment I said I' d
like to paint my hair when I'

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m in high school. Now,
going back to my dad' s situation

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to his argument that I didn'
t cut my hair. It was that

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I never liked how women with short
hair look, and my dad also occupied

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the argument what your grandmother is going
to say and also homophobic comments, to

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which, then, I don'
t know why this situation. My parents

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think I belong to the LGBT community
on the grounds that they label my attitudes

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as unfemale. But I don'
t identify with a sexuality, as I

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' m aware that I don'
t have the maturity to define it and

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my doubt is really wrong and I
should change my attitude and my tastes.

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Oh doctor I hope you read it
look. The reality is that the size

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of your hair cut has absolutely nothing
to do with a preference or sexual orientation,

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nothing you see. However, yes, many times parents feel very generational

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pressures and how suddenly are they good
or bad dads? How they are seen

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according to their own parents and how
they want to receive approval around this.

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It is neither right nor wrong for
parents to want to give a non-

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permission before certain ages to cut or
not to cut their hair. And I

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fully understand your frustration. I think
that if you take a little care of

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the tone in which you propose things
and you can make your parents feel that

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you want to try on this occasion
having short hair and that hair is something

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that will grow, but that you
want to live the experience and that this

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has nothing to do with this and
that, if they allow you to explain

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to your aunts, to your grandmother
that this is something that you like and

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that you want to try this as
part of an experience that you want to

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live and that have nothing to do
with whether they are good or bad parents.

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Well, you probably get permission out
there, but there' s nothing

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wrong with you trying it and,
of course, they have nothing to do

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with sexual orientation or anything related to
this. If we continue with this that

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I had commented a couple of segments
ago on the program about crying, when

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we want to handle the tantrum theme, we will not succeed in making the

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crying go away. In fact,
we don' t have to make the

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crying go away, but we do
have to go looking for that tantrum where

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there' s a lot of behavior. Exaggerated, words, knocks maybe to

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the wall to throw things. First
eye and this is very important. We

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will seek to reduce the frequency and
or intensity of that behavior to know that

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we are on the right track until
then the behavior is reduced only that crying

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appears when it corresponds, in the
corresponding amount and in the manner in which

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it corresponds. But we are not
going to feel completely satisfied only when the

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child no longer cries, if the
number of times he cries is decreasing,

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the intensity with which he cries,
the frequency with which he cries you go

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on the right path, and then
there comes an important element. Recognize your

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son that improvement so he can identify
her as well. It' s time

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to fire today' s show.
I' d just leave them with an

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idea that' s whenever you'
re going to give your teenage son an

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opinion, don' t hide behind
that opinion an order. If you want

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to give him a warrant. Give
him the order in a clear way.

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If you' re going to give
her an opinion, be perfectly clear to

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yourself as your dad, your mom, they may not follow your opinion and

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do things as your son or daughter
prefers them to be flushed. I'

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m looking. This was chayo with
you. Audio Centre