WEBVTT

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Fame. Uh, he'd liked to
be walked on a leash and play really

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dirty, kinky sex games. Is
uh. The guy put the cock in

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the peacock network. Okay, bitch, Hey, everybody aj Benzi here with

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fame is a bitch. This is
your free show for January twenty third,

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twenty twenty four. Oh one two
three two two four. Rainy day today,

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very dreary as I look out my
window onto this beautiful golf course in

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Summerlin, Nevada. Still guys playing
golf in the rain. Unbelievable. Anything

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to stay away from their wife for
farms amazing. The terraining gets pouring.

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The old man is snoring. Remember
that, Remember that nursery rhyme or our

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parents sang to us and we sang
to our kids. Most people think it's

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about not just a wholesome nursery rhyme
about weather and some clumsy guy. No,

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that's not what it's about at all. Sorry to break this news to

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you, but the real meaning behind
this nursery your rhyme is pretty unsettling.

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The old man, in fact,
is suffering a very bad hangover, and

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that led to his untimely death.
Its raining is snoring. The old man

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is The old man is snoring.
He went to bed and bumped his head

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and couldn't get up in the morning
because he was dead. That's the truth.

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Doesn't describe any specific person, but
that is a cautionary tale. It's

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got nothing to do with the weather
at all, even though our parents sang

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it to us and we sang it
to our kids whenever it was Basically,

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this is about an old man who
liked to drink a lot, and raining

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and pouring refers to alcohol being poured
very liberally, as if it's raining and

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pouring cocktails and shots. So the
guy was drunk. He was fucked up,

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and after he drank so much,
he couldn't stay awake, and he

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was nodding off and snoring, and
he figured he'd sleep it off, but

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he was so drunk he probably couldn't
even walk a straight line. So when

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he went to bed, he stumbled, fell, bumped his head and it

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was some bump because he couldn't get
up in the morning because, like I

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said, the guy was dead.
Nursery rhymes, when you really look into

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them, will ruin your childhood memories. I did a show many years ago

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about the hidden drug meaning in all
the Christmas songs, some are about cocaine.

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I mean, it's not true,
it's just what I've come up with.

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You know, chestnuts roasting on an
open fire is about cooking crack cocaine,

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jack frost, nipping at your nose
as a little coke dealer, I'm

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dreaming of a white Christmas is obviously
cocaine. Little drummer boys a dealer,

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they called him. But rump bump, bump, bump, get it pretty

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good show. But it's raining its
poort. That's about alcoholism and also major

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head trauma. Some of you may
I want to hear the rest of what

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I'm gonna say, because some of
these nursery rhymes have a very dark past.

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Remember the muffin man, he's a
pedophile. Ringing around the rosie.

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Oh that's very dark. Ashes ash, we all fall down. The ashes

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what you're referred to in that nursery
rhyme were supposedly a reference to the sound

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which someone makes when they sneeze.
The ring around the rosy part refers to

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a rash like skin reaction, and
the pocket full of posies was something people

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would carry in the hopes of helping
them ward off disease, and the all

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fall down part is an obvious reference
to people dropping like flies ring around the

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rosy people was about the black plague
and the muffin Man, as I just

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said, do you know the muffin
Man, the muffin Man, the muffin

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Man. Do you know the muffin
man who lives on Drury Lane. Oh,

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yes, we know the muffin Man, the muffin Man, the muffin

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Man. Oh yes, we know
the muffin man who lives on Drury Lane.

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Oh we all know the muffin Man, the muffin Man, the ah

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Fong Gol. Sometime in the fifteen
hundreds in England there was a mean old

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pedophile named Frederick Thomas Linwood who lived
on Drury Lane and would lure children to

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his house by tying muffins to a
string, And once the kids grabbed the

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muffins, he'd have his way with
them, and he killed about fifteen of

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those kids. Yeah, nursery rhymes
are terrible. Some of you may have

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nub ones right now. Try to
avoid these nursery rhymes. Even Humpty Dumpty

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is not what you think. Humpty
Dumpty was not a person or an egg

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It was a massive bulbous siege cannon
that exploded at the Siege of Colchester the

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year sixteen forty eight during the English
Civil War. It was placed on a

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wall, and the explosion killed and
named a lot of Royalist soldiers, and

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the gun was completely shattered, so
that all the king's horses and all the

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king's men could never put Humpty back
together again. Yeah. I never really

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understood an egg on a wall anyhow. It didn't make sense even when I

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was five. What's an end doing
on a wall? And how can you

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put an egg back together? It's
kind of sloppy. Other nursery rhymes have

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equally horrifying origins. Bab Bab Black
Sheep dates from the time of Edward.

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He was the prick who imposed a
harsh tax on sheep farmers. One for

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the master. That meant one portion
of the wool for the king, one

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for the dame that was the Virgin
Mary or the church, but none for

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the little boy who cries down the
lane. That was about the farmers who

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were left with no profit. Nice
euh Georgie Porgie pudding in pie. That

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was about the handsome guy. George
Villiers, the first Duke of Buckingham who

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seduced the wives of other men at
court. He also may have been the

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first King James lover. He kissed
the girls and made them cry, but

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ran away when the boys came out
to play. So we're talking about adulterous

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sex, unfair taxes, the brutality
of war. Very unlikely themes for children's

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stories, and some are even more
grim. Oranges and lemons. That's about

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the root of a condemned prisoner on
his way to the gallows, past the

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churches of London, and of course
he would go around the mulberry bush.

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The mulberry bush, the mulberry bush. That's about a prison in Wakefielding and

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whether the inmates had to exercise around
the mulberry tree in the yard. Nice

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some of those women kill their husbands. Rock a bye baby on the tree

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top, Now what you think it
is? That refers to an event just

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before the Glorious Revolution. The baby
in question is supposed to be the son

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of King James the Second of England, but was widely believed to be another

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man's child. A changeling smuggled into
the birthing room in a bedpen to ensure

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that there'd be a Catholic heir.
And the wind that rocks the cradle is

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the Protestant forces blowing in from the
Netherlands. And they speak of a Protestant

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wind ensuring victory. The cradle was
the house of Stuart. The Glorious Revolution,

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of course, replaced athletic James the
Second with the Dutch King William the

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third. This is what we sing
to our children, and these are the

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things that were sung to us.
Somehow amazingly they put us to sleep.

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I used to do a joke when
my kids were nodding off in bed,

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and I would I would just take
a very familiar cadence, the da da

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da da da da da da da
da da, and I just put crazy

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words in there. And now it's
time to go to sleep. And maybe

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people will steal some sheep, and
when the sheep shit on the lawn,

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the man will take his gun and
kill them all. Them all. The

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kids don't know. They're two three
years old. They sitting there nodding off

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to some horrible song. There was
a man who rate the girl, And

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I mean, you could say anything. My wife's so mad at me,

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so it's funny. But this is
what we do to kids. This is

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what was done with us. Anyhow, Let's talk about an obnoxious ex wife

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of Hugh Hefner having been watching the
Secrets of Playboy on television lately, all

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these girls coming out of the woodwork
getting to say some horrible things about you

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Hefner now that he's dead and can't
protect himself. The latest, of course,

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is Crystal Hefner, who wrote a
book called Only Say Good Things.

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Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself actually comes
out today, and she reveals in this

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memoir that she found little spy holes
at the foot of Hefner's bed, which

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was evidence that he was taping his
central escapades. And she asked him what

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are they for? And he said, I used to do a lot of

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filming VHS. I had hours of
hundreds of sexy tapes. And she asked

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him if his subjects knew they were
being filmed, and she says, he

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said, it's my bedroom, my
house. Whenever you walked into the Playboy

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mansion to go to a party,
there were signs up that said cameras were

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everywhere, basically, so you were
being filmed. Now, I don't think

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it set that up in the bedroom, but once those signs went up on

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the mansion front door. It took
away the allure of going to the Playboy

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mansion. Nobody wanted to be filmed. The whole point of a Playboy mansion

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party was nobody got to know what
you were doing. And I was lucky

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enough to go to those parties before
the cameras were everywhere. Once Hefner got

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the reality TV bug with the E
Channel and had cameras everywhere, then the

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big stars stopped showing up. I
remember one night talking to Jack Nicholson back

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in the corner of the bar,
and he's like, ain't the same thing

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when the cameras are everywhere? And
it's not. That's the new world.

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So Hefterer had a camera or cameras
in his bedroom and he told her that

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he had a list celebrities on tape, as well as videos of wild orgies

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with celebrities and politicians and business leaders, some of whom were married. I

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don't think he had them to use
his blackmail like Jeffrey Epstein did, but

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look I liked Heff I considered him
a friend. I would visit him when

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there were no parties at Dimension.
I would swim in the pool or in

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the grotto, and lunch with him
privately alone. I liked him a lot.

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He was very wise when it came
to women and life and the way

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of the world. If he had
those videos, I don't think he used

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them for blackmail or was about to. But I do know from a good

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source that the days before he died, when it was obvious he was going

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to go, this big trunk of
videotapes that he had of these sexcapades were

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taken on a boat by one of
his bodyguards who I know very well,

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and driven out into the ocean and
dropped into the dark water, never to

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be found and never to be able
to view. But Crystal Hefner thinks the

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cameras are out of commission by the
time she got there, But they were

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in the carved wood panels. She's
got a lot to say. She married

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him back in twenty twelve when she
was twenty six and he was eighty six.

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Anybody with that kind of age difference, come on, if you have

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to own day seven, eleven and
eighty six, you wouldn't have married him.

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If he owned an autobody, you
wouldn't have married him. This is

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ridiculous sixty year age difference. And
she was with him until he died in

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ninety one years old in twenty seventeen, and she says she spent the night

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in his spectacular and crowded bedroom,
where she and Christina and Carissa Shannon,

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a pair of twins who were also
his girlfriends at the time, and some

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of the girl named Amber, took
turns pleasing Hefner. There was no kiss

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seeing, no romance, no intimacy, she says, and even that first

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night, she said, even on
cloud nine, it all felt odd and

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robotic, like hef was just going
through the motions of something that had once

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been fun and sexier. Maybe he
was never fun or sexy. She also

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says in her book that their marriage
didn't stop him from bringing other women into

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their bed, but she preferred it
that way. She says he still wanted

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sex to be a group activity,
and while that was distasteful, it was

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better than the alternative. She says, the handful of times he tried to

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be romantic with me, it was
just awkward. It was clear he had

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no idea how to do it.
And when she and other girls would travel

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with hef in his limousine to go
to nightclubs, he would bring a disposable

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camera, and he wanted to have
the girl's flow ash the camera, pull

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up their skirts, spread their legs, show everything, she says, and

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a lot of girls did this,
and she watched as those cameras filled up

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with incriminating images, and she says
she happened upon thousands of those photos in

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shoe boxes in the mansion's attic.
She says there were about seventy staff members

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and they could open any draws at
any time, So I don't think he

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really cared about people's privacy. But
she thought that this was me in these

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photos. What would I have done
with them? So she ripped them all

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up by hand and threw them out. These people who married half for dayd

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half have really decided to open their
mouths now because it's time to write books

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and make some money. It's not
a ton of money. It'll just be

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in advance of fifty thousand to sell
and then they'll get nothing else. She's

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keeping the Heffner last name, although
she wants to drop it eventually because she's

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done with that part of her story. What makes me sick is all these

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girls who were talking, whether it's
Kendra Wilkinson or Holly whatever, the fuck

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Madison and this one Krystal Hefner,
who was actually a very beautiful girl.

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Why didn't you just leave? You
had so many chances to leave, but

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you stayed. Why? And I
have a theory that was given to me

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by somebody who was at the mansion. A lot that Crystal, Now,

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that was a tunnel from the Playboy
Mansion to another home in Holmby Hills that

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was owned by this Greek multi millionaire
who eventually bought the Playboy mansion, and

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she was having an affair with him, and they would meet in the tunnel

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underneath the two massive homes, and
they'd go on dates, they travel together.

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And whether or not you Hefner knew, I don't know, but I

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know for a fact she definitely was
fucking around on Heffner while she was with

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him. I also heard, again
unsubstantiated, but I heard from playmates who

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are very protective of Hefner, who
only say good things about him, that

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there were rooms in that mansion that
had black mold and they weren't repaired.

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In that Crystal Hefner and her mother, who moved into the mansion, by

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the way, used to rub his
toothbrush on that black mold the night before,

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he brush his teeth in the morning. Whether or not that's true,

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I don't really know, but that's
what I've been told. I mean,

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they gotta live till he lived a
long, good life. But I don't

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know how much brushing your teeth with
black mold affects your lifespan. Put it

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that way. I'm giving you guys
a lot. I'm giving you guys a

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00:19:15.039 --> 00:19:22.200
lot. Listen. Go to patreon
dot com slash Famous a Bitch to hear

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my inside takes on Alec Bowin's manslaughter
charge. I got the inside scoop on

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00:19:27.759 --> 00:19:33.920
why Madonna's concerts are always two hours
late. I also have the inside first

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on why Bruno Mars plays Las Vegas
so often, and what Justin Timberlake is

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getting paid to sing for one night
at the Las Vegas hotel and casino Fountain

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Blue. And a huge source of
mind reveals whether Michelle Obama is going to

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run in twenty twenty four or not. And also not for nothing, I

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00:19:56.119 --> 00:20:02.480
gave a very moving tribute to the
death of Sports illustrated. These are the

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00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:07.279
things you're missing by not spending five
bucks free birds, and I know you

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00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:15.160
like me. You spend monthly dollars
on Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu,

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00:20:15.480 --> 00:20:19.759
Mas Paramount or Peacock to see you
a few football games, and I guarantee

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00:20:19.799 --> 00:20:23.960
you you don't use those services on
a daily basis. I know you don't

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00:20:25.480 --> 00:20:30.119
because I don't, and you're just
like me. But if there's one podcast

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00:20:30.279 --> 00:20:34.799
you need to pay for for five
bucks, it's going to entertain you and

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00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:40.680
enlighten you every single day, and
that's Fame as a Bitch. So,

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00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:45.680
like many of you have done the
last two months, which I'm very grateful

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00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:49.440
for, go to patreon dot com
slash Fame as a Bitch and hear me

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00:20:49.599 --> 00:20:53.839
every day. Start your day with
me, or go to bed with me,

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00:20:55.720 --> 00:21:00.119
whatever makes you happy. I'm aj
Benzo. That was your free show

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00:21:00.240 --> 00:21:04.680
for January twenty fourth or twenty third, I should say, twenty twenty four.

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00:21:04.920 --> 00:21:11.799
Chirp, chirp. Come off your
perch, the windows open. Talk

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00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:22.200
to you soon. Thank you for
listening. Fame as a Bitch is an

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00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:26.920
aj Benza Workhouse Connect production featuring the
endless wisdom, insightful commentary, and sometimes

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00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:32.680
fucked up perspective of aj Benza executive
producer Mike Agavino