Fame. Uh, he'd liked to be walked on a leash and play really
dirty, kinky sex games. Is uh. The guy put the cock in
the peacock network. Okay, bitch, Hey, everybody aj Benzi here with
fame is a bitch. This is your free show for January twenty third,
twenty twenty four. Oh one two three two two four. Rainy day today,
very dreary as I look out my window onto this beautiful golf course in
Summerlin, Nevada. Still guys playing golf in the rain. Unbelievable. Anything
to stay away from their wife for farms amazing. The terraining gets pouring.
The old man is snoring. Remember that, Remember that nursery rhyme or our
parents sang to us and we sang to our kids. Most people think it's
about not just a wholesome nursery rhyme about weather and some clumsy guy. No,
that's not what it's about at all. Sorry to break this news to
you, but the real meaning behind this nursery your rhyme is pretty unsettling.
The old man, in fact, is suffering a very bad hangover, and
that led to his untimely death. Its raining is snoring. The old man
is The old man is snoring. He went to bed and bumped his head
and couldn't get up in the morning because he was dead. That's the truth.
Doesn't describe any specific person, but that is a cautionary tale. It's
got nothing to do with the weather at all, even though our parents sang
it to us and we sang it to our kids whenever it was Basically,
this is about an old man who liked to drink a lot, and raining
and pouring refers to alcohol being poured very liberally, as if it's raining and
pouring cocktails and shots. So the guy was drunk. He was fucked up,
and after he drank so much, he couldn't stay awake, and he
was nodding off and snoring, and he figured he'd sleep it off, but
he was so drunk he probably couldn't even walk a straight line. So when
he went to bed, he stumbled, fell, bumped his head and it
was some bump because he couldn't get up in the morning because, like I
said, the guy was dead. Nursery rhymes, when you really look into
them, will ruin your childhood memories. I did a show many years ago
about the hidden drug meaning in all the Christmas songs, some are about cocaine.
I mean, it's not true, it's just what I've come up with.
You know, chestnuts roasting on an open fire is about cooking crack cocaine,
jack frost, nipping at your nose as a little coke dealer, I'm
dreaming of a white Christmas is obviously cocaine. Little drummer boys a dealer,
they called him. But rump bump, bump, bump, get it pretty
good show. But it's raining its poort. That's about alcoholism and also major
head trauma. Some of you may I want to hear the rest of what
I'm gonna say, because some of these nursery rhymes have a very dark past.
Remember the muffin man, he's a pedophile. Ringing around the rosie.
Oh that's very dark. Ashes ash, we all fall down. The ashes
what you're referred to in that nursery rhyme were supposedly a reference to the sound
which someone makes when they sneeze. The ring around the rosy part refers to
a rash like skin reaction, and the pocket full of posies was something people
would carry in the hopes of helping them ward off disease, and the all
fall down part is an obvious reference to people dropping like flies ring around the
rosy people was about the black plague and the muffin Man, as I just
said, do you know the muffin Man, the muffin Man, the muffin
Man. Do you know the muffin man who lives on Drury Lane. Oh,
yes, we know the muffin Man, the muffin Man, the muffin
Man. Oh yes, we know the muffin man who lives on Drury Lane.
Oh we all know the muffin Man, the muffin Man, the ah
Fong Gol. Sometime in the fifteen hundreds in England there was a mean old
pedophile named Frederick Thomas Linwood who lived on Drury Lane and would lure children to
his house by tying muffins to a string, And once the kids grabbed the
muffins, he'd have his way with them, and he killed about fifteen of
those kids. Yeah, nursery rhymes are terrible. Some of you may have
nub ones right now. Try to avoid these nursery rhymes. Even Humpty Dumpty
is not what you think. Humpty Dumpty was not a person or an egg
It was a massive bulbous siege cannon that exploded at the Siege of Colchester the
year sixteen forty eight during the English Civil War. It was placed on a
wall, and the explosion killed and named a lot of Royalist soldiers, and
the gun was completely shattered, so that all the king's horses and all the
king's men could never put Humpty back together again. Yeah. I never really
understood an egg on a wall anyhow. It didn't make sense even when I
was five. What's an end doing on a wall? And how can you
put an egg back together? It's kind of sloppy. Other nursery rhymes have
equally horrifying origins. Bab Bab Black Sheep dates from the time of Edward.
He was the prick who imposed a harsh tax on sheep farmers. One for
the master. That meant one portion of the wool for the king, one
for the dame that was the Virgin Mary or the church, but none for
the little boy who cries down the lane. That was about the farmers who
were left with no profit. Nice euh Georgie Porgie pudding in pie. That
was about the handsome guy. George Villiers, the first Duke of Buckingham who
seduced the wives of other men at court. He also may have been the
first King James lover. He kissed the girls and made them cry, but
ran away when the boys came out to play. So we're talking about adulterous
sex, unfair taxes, the brutality of war. Very unlikely themes for children's
stories, and some are even more grim. Oranges and lemons. That's about
the root of a condemned prisoner on his way to the gallows, past the
churches of London, and of course he would go around the mulberry bush.
The mulberry bush, the mulberry bush. That's about a prison in Wakefielding and
whether the inmates had to exercise around the mulberry tree in the yard. Nice
some of those women kill their husbands. Rock a bye baby on the tree
top, Now what you think it is? That refers to an event just
before the Glorious Revolution. The baby in question is supposed to be the son
of King James the Second of England, but was widely believed to be another
man's child. A changeling smuggled into the birthing room in a bedpen to ensure
that there'd be a Catholic heir. And the wind that rocks the cradle is
the Protestant forces blowing in from the Netherlands. And they speak of a Protestant
wind ensuring victory. The cradle was the house of Stuart. The Glorious Revolution,
of course, replaced athletic James the Second with the Dutch King William the
third. This is what we sing to our children, and these are the
things that were sung to us. Somehow amazingly they put us to sleep.
I used to do a joke when my kids were nodding off in bed,
and I would I would just take a very familiar cadence, the da da
da da da da da da da da da, and I just put crazy
words in there. And now it's time to go to sleep. And maybe
people will steal some sheep, and when the sheep shit on the lawn,
the man will take his gun and kill them all. Them all. The
kids don't know. They're two three years old. They sitting there nodding off
to some horrible song. There was a man who rate the girl, And
I mean, you could say anything. My wife's so mad at me,
so it's funny. But this is what we do to kids. This is
what was done with us. Anyhow, Let's talk about an obnoxious ex wife
of Hugh Hefner having been watching the Secrets of Playboy on television lately, all
these girls coming out of the woodwork getting to say some horrible things about you
Hefner now that he's dead and can't protect himself. The latest, of course,
is Crystal Hefner, who wrote a book called Only Say Good Things.
Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself actually comes out today, and she reveals in this
memoir that she found little spy holes at the foot of Hefner's bed, which
was evidence that he was taping his central escapades. And she asked him what
are they for? And he said, I used to do a lot of
filming VHS. I had hours of hundreds of sexy tapes. And she asked
him if his subjects knew they were being filmed, and she says, he
said, it's my bedroom, my house. Whenever you walked into the Playboy
mansion to go to a party, there were signs up that said cameras were
everywhere, basically, so you were being filmed. Now, I don't think
it set that up in the bedroom, but once those signs went up on
the mansion front door. It took away the allure of going to the Playboy
mansion. Nobody wanted to be filmed. The whole point of a Playboy mansion
party was nobody got to know what you were doing. And I was lucky
enough to go to those parties before the cameras were everywhere. Once Hefner got
the reality TV bug with the E Channel and had cameras everywhere, then the
big stars stopped showing up. I remember one night talking to Jack Nicholson back
in the corner of the bar, and he's like, ain't the same thing
when the cameras are everywhere? And it's not. That's the new world.
So Hefterer had a camera or cameras in his bedroom and he told her that
he had a list celebrities on tape, as well as videos of wild orgies
with celebrities and politicians and business leaders, some of whom were married. I
don't think he had them to use his blackmail like Jeffrey Epstein did, but
look I liked Heff I considered him a friend. I would visit him when
there were no parties at Dimension. I would swim in the pool or in
the grotto, and lunch with him privately alone. I liked him a lot.
He was very wise when it came to women and life and the way
of the world. If he had those videos, I don't think he used
them for blackmail or was about to. But I do know from a good
source that the days before he died, when it was obvious he was going
to go, this big trunk of videotapes that he had of these sexcapades were
taken on a boat by one of his bodyguards who I know very well,
and driven out into the ocean and dropped into the dark water, never to
be found and never to be able to view. But Crystal Hefner thinks the
cameras are out of commission by the time she got there, But they were
in the carved wood panels. She's got a lot to say. She married
him back in twenty twelve when she was twenty six and he was eighty six.
Anybody with that kind of age difference, come on, if you have
to own day seven, eleven and eighty six, you wouldn't have married him.
If he owned an autobody, you wouldn't have married him. This is
ridiculous sixty year age difference. And she was with him until he died in
ninety one years old in twenty seventeen, and she says she spent the night
in his spectacular and crowded bedroom, where she and Christina and Carissa Shannon,
a pair of twins who were also his girlfriends at the time, and some
of the girl named Amber, took turns pleasing Hefner. There was no kiss
seeing, no romance, no intimacy, she says, and even that first
night, she said, even on cloud nine, it all felt odd and
robotic, like hef was just going through the motions of something that had once
been fun and sexier. Maybe he was never fun or sexy. She also
says in her book that their marriage didn't stop him from bringing other women into
their bed, but she preferred it that way. She says he still wanted
sex to be a group activity, and while that was distasteful, it was
better than the alternative. She says, the handful of times he tried to
be romantic with me, it was just awkward. It was clear he had
no idea how to do it. And when she and other girls would travel
with hef in his limousine to go to nightclubs, he would bring a disposable
camera, and he wanted to have the girl's flow ash the camera, pull
up their skirts, spread their legs, show everything, she says, and
a lot of girls did this, and she watched as those cameras filled up
with incriminating images, and she says she happened upon thousands of those photos in
shoe boxes in the mansion's attic. She says there were about seventy staff members
and they could open any draws at any time, So I don't think he
really cared about people's privacy. But she thought that this was me in these
photos. What would I have done with them? So she ripped them all
up by hand and threw them out. These people who married half for dayd
half have really decided to open their mouths now because it's time to write books
and make some money. It's not a ton of money. It'll just be
in advance of fifty thousand to sell and then they'll get nothing else. She's
keeping the Heffner last name, although she wants to drop it eventually because she's
done with that part of her story. What makes me sick is all these
girls who were talking, whether it's Kendra Wilkinson or Holly whatever, the fuck
Madison and this one Krystal Hefner, who was actually a very beautiful girl.
Why didn't you just leave? You had so many chances to leave, but
you stayed. Why? And I have a theory that was given to me
by somebody who was at the mansion. A lot that Crystal, Now,
that was a tunnel from the Playboy Mansion to another home in Holmby Hills that
was owned by this Greek multi millionaire who eventually bought the Playboy mansion, and
she was having an affair with him, and they would meet in the tunnel
underneath the two massive homes, and they'd go on dates, they travel together.
And whether or not you Hefner knew, I don't know, but I
know for a fact she definitely was fucking around on Heffner while she was with
him. I also heard, again unsubstantiated, but I heard from playmates who
are very protective of Hefner, who only say good things about him, that
there were rooms in that mansion that had black mold and they weren't repaired.
In that Crystal Hefner and her mother, who moved into the mansion, by
the way, used to rub his toothbrush on that black mold the night before,
he brush his teeth in the morning. Whether or not that's true,
I don't really know, but that's what I've been told. I mean,
they gotta live till he lived a long, good life. But I don't
know how much brushing your teeth with black mold affects your lifespan. Put it
that way. I'm giving you guys a lot. I'm giving you guys a
lot. Listen. Go to patreon dot com slash Famous a Bitch to hear
my inside takes on Alec Bowin's manslaughter charge. I got the inside scoop on
why Madonna's concerts are always two hours late. I also have the inside first
on why Bruno Mars plays Las Vegas so often, and what Justin Timberlake is
getting paid to sing for one night at the Las Vegas hotel and casino Fountain
Blue. And a huge source of mind reveals whether Michelle Obama is going to
run in twenty twenty four or not. And also not for nothing, I
gave a very moving tribute to the death of Sports illustrated. These are the
things you're missing by not spending five bucks free birds, and I know you
like me. You spend monthly dollars on Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu,
Mas Paramount or Peacock to see you a few football games, and I guarantee
you you don't use those services on a daily basis. I know you don't
because I don't, and you're just like me. But if there's one podcast
you need to pay for for five bucks, it's going to entertain you and
enlighten you every single day, and that's Fame as a Bitch. So,
like many of you have done the last two months, which I'm very grateful
for, go to patreon dot com slash Fame as a Bitch and hear me
every day. Start your day with me, or go to bed with me,
whatever makes you happy. I'm aj Benzo. That was your free show
for January twenty fourth or twenty third, I should say, twenty twenty four.
Chirp, chirp. Come off your perch, the windows open. Talk
to you soon. Thank you for listening. Fame as a Bitch is an
aj Benza Workhouse Connect production featuring the endless wisdom, insightful commentary, and sometimes
fucked up perspective of aj Benza executive producer Mike Agavino