WEBVTT 1 00:00:24.399 --> 00:00:29.600 Simple questions for one hundred people. Welcome to our experiment, the one hundred 2 00:00:29.640 --> 00:00:34.159 person Project. I'm Bill Correll, and this is my investigation. This research 3 00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:39.439 project is to gather data from one hundred beautiful human beings to the sole purpose 4 00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:44.320 to see what actually happens across the interviews. The questions are fixed and all 5 00:00:44.359 --> 00:00:50.520 the interviews will remain consistent with the variable being the actual participants themselves. Oh, 6 00:00:50.560 --> 00:00:55.719 and your answers. It's as if I'm having you, Okay, come 7 00:00:55.799 --> 00:00:59.600 sit on my porch to share your thoughts so that I can learn about people 8 00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:07.239 looking forward to what we're going to. It's very interested in the people, 9 00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:11.879 the process, and the particular story. You will get to know our desk 10 00:01:11.959 --> 00:01:18.359 through the interviews. T Then it's my distinct pleasure to have all of us 11 00:01:18.400 --> 00:01:23.959 involved in this podcast, all all the friends in the world. Well, 12 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:27.400 how about you do it for me, Kate? Do you want me to 13 00:01:27.439 --> 00:01:33.359 introduce myself? All right? What is your full name? Kate Molliser? 14 00:01:34.640 --> 00:01:41.000 No middle name. I generally don't give it out because it's not my favorite 15 00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:42.760 thing in the world, So only very select people get to know what my 16 00:01:42.799 --> 00:01:46.920 middle name is. Well, no one's going to hear this. It's just 17 00:01:46.959 --> 00:01:52.719 between you and me. It's only a podcast. My middle name is actually 18 00:01:52.760 --> 00:01:57.680 my mother's maiden name, because she apparently didn't like me very much and wanted 19 00:01:57.719 --> 00:02:00.040 to give the children something to pick on me about. My middle name is 20 00:02:00.280 --> 00:02:05.799 Rondo, the French r O n d e a U. That's a beautiful 21 00:02:05.879 --> 00:02:12.400 name. Not when you're a small child in elementary school and your first name 22 00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:15.599 isn't legally hate and so you get picked on for having two first names and 23 00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:19.680 two last names. I sound like a failed country singer. Stuff, it 24 00:02:19.719 --> 00:02:23.719 looks too like you turned out, Okay, I played to go on TV. 25 00:02:24.800 --> 00:02:28.520 Rondo sounds like it's, uh, you know, some kind of an 26 00:02:28.560 --> 00:02:32.599 action thriller, spy movie sort of thing, right that maybe somebody likes. 27 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:40.960 Sliced alone has to be playing. Yeah, all right, Well, now 28 00:02:40.960 --> 00:02:46.560 that we know your least favorite name, what would you say your favorite nickname 29 00:02:46.639 --> 00:02:50.479 is that most people don't know? Oh so I didn't. I don't really 30 00:02:50.520 --> 00:02:55.199 have a lot of nicknames, but one comes to mind was my dad. 31 00:02:55.319 --> 00:03:00.879 He always calls me teaches because when I was a baby, it's literally the 32 00:03:00.919 --> 00:03:04.080 only thing I would eat. So even to this day, as a thirty 33 00:03:04.080 --> 00:03:06.479 five year old woman. He still got their peaches, and I'm just like, 34 00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:08.840 oh, hey, God, like it's our little thing. So that's 35 00:03:08.879 --> 00:03:14.360 marvelous. That is really really special that you might be the first person that 36 00:03:14.400 --> 00:03:17.039 I've ever known that was called peaches, you know, as a nickname. 37 00:03:17.960 --> 00:03:23.919 Hmmm. I actually know someone with peaches as their legal first name, so 38 00:03:25.280 --> 00:03:32.439 I do too. M yeah, yeah, her peaches Abercrombie. Ooh, 39 00:03:32.680 --> 00:03:38.919 I know Peaches, Finch, Binch. Those are different, Abercrombie and Fitch. 40 00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:40.599 We're close bench. Oh, I know. I was gonna say. 41 00:03:40.599 --> 00:03:43.240 That's why I said it. I was like, oh, that's weird. 42 00:03:45.599 --> 00:03:53.000 So on to the next question. Peaches, when did you first notice what 43 00:03:53.039 --> 00:03:55.039 color hair you had? And I won't do that again unless you want me 44 00:03:55.080 --> 00:04:01.759 to. Ooh, so I amfully aware of my natural hair color because I 45 00:04:01.759 --> 00:04:08.560 am naturally a red head, even more red than this, like a deep 46 00:04:08.759 --> 00:04:12.560 chestnut auburn type of red. And I got picked on a lot as a 47 00:04:12.599 --> 00:04:16.639 little kid for being a redhead. So probably like kindergarten, first grade is 48 00:04:16.680 --> 00:04:20.800 when I really have that like astute of the importance of hair color and my 49 00:04:20.920 --> 00:04:28.480 specific hair color. Wow, that is pretty mean. And so how did 50 00:04:28.519 --> 00:04:32.800 you wear your hair with. I wasn't allowed to cut my hair like at 51 00:04:32.839 --> 00:04:36.079 all, so I didn't cut it for the first time until after I was 52 00:04:36.079 --> 00:04:42.759 eighteen. So my hair was either you know, pigtails or ponytails or fangs 53 00:04:42.879 --> 00:04:46.240 or all that good stuff. But my mom let me start dyeing my hair 54 00:04:46.519 --> 00:04:50.160 in the fifth grade, so I would dye my hair dark brown so I 55 00:04:50.160 --> 00:04:57.560 wouldn't have to be a redhead anymore. So I dated a redhead in high 56 00:04:57.560 --> 00:05:00.560 school, Barbara, and she's sorry, well, no, it was okay, 57 00:05:00.839 --> 00:05:05.279 I'll tell you what it was good for. Red house. We spicy, 58 00:05:06.279 --> 00:05:12.120 she said. She said, redheads, we're the master race. Yep. 59 00:05:13.079 --> 00:05:15.279 Yeah, we're souless apparently. But there is a redhead convention that happens 60 00:05:15.319 --> 00:05:20.319 every year in Scotland. Oh yeah, there's something about the all the gingers 61 00:05:20.319 --> 00:05:25.800 in the world get to get together. Yep. I would love that. 62 00:05:27.639 --> 00:05:30.439 So enough about hair for a moment. We may come back to it later 63 00:05:30.480 --> 00:05:34.680 on, we might not. You don't know what is the favorite thing for 64 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:43.800 you to do to intentionally waste time. I'm a big visual learner, so 65 00:05:43.839 --> 00:05:47.480 like I spend a lot of time on Pinterest or on TikTok. Usually it's 66 00:05:47.480 --> 00:05:51.839 like self education or like, I'm a fashion nerd and a history nerd, 67 00:05:51.959 --> 00:05:57.879 so I'll look at like fashion throughout the ages, the different videos and stuff 68 00:05:57.920 --> 00:06:04.240 like that. So I'm a big intern web stroller. So maybe if I 69 00:06:04.240 --> 00:06:09.800 wanted to learn more about Pinterest, you could put me through a similar Absolutely 70 00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:15.199 I could. To me, it just occurs like a whole bunch of unrelated 71 00:06:15.399 --> 00:06:18.600 pictures that are all kind of like a collage. But it's an algorithm. 72 00:06:18.720 --> 00:06:20.920 So the more you use it, or the more things you search, or 73 00:06:20.959 --> 00:06:25.680 the more niche you get, the more curated your feed will become similar to 74 00:06:25.720 --> 00:06:29.399 TikTok. What you look at, you get more of. Huh. Okay, 75 00:06:30.079 --> 00:06:35.040 those algorithms are my friend. I mean they're not because they tell me 76 00:06:35.079 --> 00:06:38.720 things I don't want to know, and then I'm like, I feel attacked. 77 00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:43.720 I didn't need the cheesecake recipe, thank you. Well, you know, 78 00:06:44.759 --> 00:06:46.399 TIMU uses that same sort of a thing. You know, I don't 79 00:06:46.439 --> 00:06:49.720 know if you've gone on there, but if you happen to look at something, 80 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:55.120 you'll now see twenty five of those and be getting texts and emails and 81 00:06:55.199 --> 00:06:59.639 every this little age we're living in, you know, algorithms, So Pinterest. 82 00:06:59.680 --> 00:07:03.600 Thank you, you just connected the Dutch. So in addition to that, 83 00:07:03.959 --> 00:07:08.279 you know, and what makes it time wasting for you? Is it 84 00:07:08.360 --> 00:07:12.759 something where you really can just lose yourself or you get anything in particular out 85 00:07:12.759 --> 00:07:16.959 of it. Well, TikTok really is a time sucker. Like I lose 86 00:07:17.079 --> 00:07:20.079 time when I'm on TikTok. I think I'm on it for maybe ten minutes 87 00:07:20.120 --> 00:07:24.040 and I look at the clock, I'm like three hours. Like, but 88 00:07:24.079 --> 00:07:27.800 Pinterest is because I'll end up down round it holes and on tangents, and 89 00:07:27.839 --> 00:07:30.319 you know, I'll start by looking for something or researching something or interested in 90 00:07:30.319 --> 00:07:34.120 something, and then I'll you know, dumptail off into other things and then 91 00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:38.959 I'm like, oh god, I gotta go. So it just becomes like 92 00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:44.879 a like a time warp. Yeah, it sounds like once you discover how 93 00:07:44.920 --> 00:07:46.959 long you've actually been on, there's like a like a maybe a little bit 94 00:07:46.959 --> 00:07:51.879 of happiness slash embarrassment slash oh what the hell? You know? Yeah, 95 00:07:51.959 --> 00:07:55.879 it's more of a like oops, I was supposed to do other things. 96 00:07:55.879 --> 00:08:01.120 Oh well, at least I'm happy like that. I had to literally uninstalled 97 00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:03.600 TikTok from my phone because I was finding like bedtime. I would go and 98 00:08:03.600 --> 00:08:07.639 I would be like, oh, I'll just scroll for like ten minutes and 99 00:08:07.639 --> 00:08:09.920 then it's like one am and I have to be up at five, and 100 00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:16.439 I'm like, nope, uninstalled. So I had to uninstall it at bedtime. 101 00:08:16.519 --> 00:08:20.079 Could be a bad idea, yep, mm hmm. So moving on, 102 00:08:20.560 --> 00:08:28.399 what is your favorite movie to watch alone? Kate Ooh, it's kind 103 00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:31.879 of situational for me. Like there. For me, movies and music are 104 00:08:31.639 --> 00:08:35.759 meant to evoke the motions. So if I'm looking to have a good cry, 105 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:37.840 I have a movie that I like. If I'm looking to have a 106 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:41.120 good laugh, there's a movie that I like. There are some movies that 107 00:08:41.159 --> 00:08:46.480 I just have personal resonance with and I don't share with anybody, so I'll 108 00:08:46.519 --> 00:08:50.159 watch those alone. Like so, it's kind of a hard question to answer, 109 00:08:50.840 --> 00:08:56.679 but I think right now, my favorite movie to watch alone, and 110 00:08:56.720 --> 00:09:01.200 everyone's gonna laugh at me for this, it's Doom that has Dwayne the Rock 111 00:09:01.320 --> 00:09:03.559 Johnson and it it is literally one of my favorite movies. I could watch 112 00:09:03.600 --> 00:09:09.440 it on Luke in perpetuity. It is so bad, it's good. It's 113 00:09:09.480 --> 00:09:13.480 so good it's bad. But I think that's what they were going for. 114 00:09:15.519 --> 00:09:18.879 It's the point of view seen when they do the like the first person Shooter. 115 00:09:18.080 --> 00:09:22.600 Because I played that PC game it was like, ugh, touched my 116 00:09:22.679 --> 00:09:28.360 heart. I love it. So now we know that there's a menu, 117 00:09:28.960 --> 00:09:33.440 but at the top is going to be the Rock always. That's my boyfriend. 118 00:09:33.559 --> 00:09:37.480 Like I even tell my boyfriend, I'm like, listen, he's my 119 00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:41.559 hall pass. So sorry. I have a dear friend who says that she 120 00:09:41.679 --> 00:09:46.720 has a handwritten past that if she ever is in a situation with the Rock 121 00:09:48.120 --> 00:09:52.320 her her husband has said, Okay, it's like if he knocks on the 122 00:09:52.320 --> 00:09:56.080 door, it's like, I'll see you in three days. Yeah, it's 123 00:09:56.120 --> 00:09:58.879 like Vegas, what happens with the rocks? Days with the Rocks? That's 124 00:10:00.360 --> 00:10:03.679 there. You go, Yeah, any which way that lose, right, 125 00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:09.200 I love it. So now here, this is the one I'm very interested 126 00:10:09.240 --> 00:10:11.480 in having a little bit of time with you. So far. If you 127 00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:16.559 were to have an action figure made of you, what super power do you 128 00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:20.919 have and what colors would it's uniform you? Oh well, my favorite color 129 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:24.519 is purple, So I'm going to go with like multiple shades of just the 130 00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:30.600 color purple. I imagine it looking very like Elasta girl from The Incredibles, 131 00:10:30.639 --> 00:10:35.919 but with a cape and purple. And I think I think that I would 132 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:41.200 be a mind reader if I had a superpower. Now, you can have 133 00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:46.559 a super power, but what would I do with that? Just cure my 134 00:10:46.879 --> 00:10:52.960 never ending anxiety around not knowing how people are feeling? Half tag trauma response. 135 00:10:54.279 --> 00:10:58.559 No, there's nothing wrong with a curious mind. Okay, you just 136 00:10:58.600 --> 00:11:03.639 want to realizet yourself on the back at least you're inquisitive, right, Yeah. 137 00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:07.039 I just want to understand people and get to know them, and sometimes 138 00:11:07.039 --> 00:11:11.360 people aren't able to share or be open, and to take that pressure off 139 00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:15.159 of them and still be able to connect with them in the best way for 140 00:11:15.240 --> 00:11:18.159 them is really the philosophy I operate under. So it sounds like it would 141 00:11:18.159 --> 00:11:24.080 be more for a personal connection to better understand or be more related to and 142 00:11:24.120 --> 00:11:30.080 that sort of thing. Yeah. Yeah, you're not out to go for 143 00:11:30.159 --> 00:11:33.559 world peace or anything of that nature. Yet. You're going to start locally 144 00:11:33.559 --> 00:11:37.240 and then you'll think globally. Well, I think if we can all connect 145 00:11:37.240 --> 00:11:39.799 to each other a little bit better and a little bit easier, wouldn't world 146 00:11:39.799 --> 00:11:43.080 piece just kind of become inevitable? Amen, It's a natural progression, isn't 147 00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:46.960 it, you know, the whole Start treating people the way you'd like to 148 00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:52.799 be treated, and don't forget that, okay, and always understand that you 149 00:11:52.879 --> 00:11:58.440 never know where anybody is asked, so always treat them with kindness exactly. 150 00:11:58.600 --> 00:12:03.000 So, Yeah, who did you want to grow up to be? When 151 00:12:03.000 --> 00:12:07.279 you were five years old? A lawyer? I had a briefcase and everything, 152 00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:11.440 Like I took my grandfather's old briefcase. It was his leather one with 153 00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:15.840 like the dial, you know, lock on it. And I kept a 154 00:12:15.879 --> 00:12:20.320 notepad, a yellow legal notepad, and pens and some eminems and some dolls 155 00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:24.320 obviously in there. And I would walk around the neighborhood and offer free legal 156 00:12:24.320 --> 00:12:33.600 advice. At five, I can imagine you were probably have pissed when I 157 00:12:33.679 --> 00:12:37.440 was allowed to be. Yeah, yeah, control chaos. How did you 158 00:12:37.480 --> 00:12:43.600 get that that inspiration? Where did that come from? I'm not really one 159 00:12:43.639 --> 00:12:46.519 hundred percent sure, honestly, Like I I don't even know the first time 160 00:12:46.559 --> 00:12:50.320 I understood what a lawyer was. But once I learned about that, I 161 00:12:50.399 --> 00:12:56.519 kind of hung onto it and that was it until oh gosh, maybe ninth 162 00:12:56.559 --> 00:13:00.240 grade, and things changed from there where I went, you know, whats 163 00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:03.039 get a bad rap? Maybe I want to be a social worker. So 164 00:13:03.159 --> 00:13:07.000 let me see what here was Ali mcbel on. That was the nineties. 165 00:13:07.639 --> 00:13:11.919 Yeah, yeah, that was the early nineties. So I was like little 166 00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:15.080 before five. But I don't think we watched Alley mcbeel in my house. 167 00:13:16.480 --> 00:13:18.519 We're more law and order people, so it might have been, although don't 168 00:13:18.879 --> 00:13:28.799 in the background. I always love that. So now, what is your 169 00:13:28.840 --> 00:13:41.200 greatest accomplishment? Oh gosh, there's so many ways I can answer that, 170 00:13:41.399 --> 00:13:46.320 you know, and I try to dig deeper than the surface. Not that 171 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:48.799 people saying their kids are not an accomplishment, or owning a home isn't an 172 00:13:48.799 --> 00:13:58.000 accomplishment, But really I think for me, it's my self acceptance, myself 173 00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:03.519 love. Like I've really learned to love who I am and how I am 174 00:14:03.240 --> 00:14:09.080 and to live that way authentically and to help teach other people how to be. 175 00:14:09.240 --> 00:14:16.639 That is like such an incredible deviant from from who I was even five 176 00:14:16.720 --> 00:14:20.600 years ago. So I think my greatest accomplishment is is my capacity to love 177 00:14:20.639 --> 00:14:26.559 myself. I really can hear you, and I really get that that was 178 00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:31.639 not something that you arrived at simply or even probably we're all that interested in 179 00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:37.440 putting any energy in it sometimes and probably was very unrewarding at other times. 180 00:14:37.480 --> 00:14:41.279 But to get through that, you know, there's like an eye of a 181 00:14:41.320 --> 00:14:43.720 needle you have to get through in order to finally get to that. So 182 00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:48.559 I'm okay, you know I can do that. Yeah, I don't know 183 00:14:48.600 --> 00:14:52.879 how. Yeah, I'm the adult and that's okay, and that's enough, 184 00:14:52.919 --> 00:15:00.720 and I'm successful and functional to a decree depending on the definition as far as 185 00:15:00.720 --> 00:15:07.120 far as other people know, right right, I think that's the most awesome 186 00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:09.440 answer to that question that I've heard out of out of thirty some people. 187 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:16.759 Really yeah, And I'll tell you what. It doesn't discount any of the 188 00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:22.759 other accomplishments that people have expressed or or have have actually accomplished. But for 189 00:15:22.919 --> 00:15:30.320 you to kind of open yourself up and basically say, I was work. 190 00:15:31.080 --> 00:15:33.960 You know, I was working and I still am. I'm not done working, 191 00:15:33.960 --> 00:15:37.039 you know, because if we're done working or we're done learning, then 192 00:15:37.039 --> 00:15:41.200 we're dead. Well, it went from being work to being a work in 193 00:15:41.240 --> 00:15:50.639 progress, right, correct? Perfect? Perfect? And so now who is 194 00:15:50.679 --> 00:15:56.799 your favorite person to listen to? My dad? Yeah, my dad, 195 00:15:58.399 --> 00:16:03.360 Yeah, yeah, he he just has a really interesting way of like talking 196 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:10.559 and relating and storytelling in a way when he talks and he sees the world 197 00:16:10.639 --> 00:16:14.639 differently from anybody else that I know, and and the observations or connections that 198 00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:18.399 he makes. Sometimes he's a little rough around the edges, but it's fun 199 00:16:18.440 --> 00:16:22.879 to listen to him share stories of like him being a kid, or his 200 00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:26.639 adolescence or the experiences he's had. He's also a person who I say has 201 00:16:26.639 --> 00:16:30.320 lived ten thousand lives, and you know, I'm just honored and grateful that 202 00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:33.200 he and I have such a relationship where he can open up to me and 203 00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:34.720 share things with me, and I keep telling him we have to either record 204 00:16:34.759 --> 00:16:41.960 it or write it down or something that it's incredible. I think that's neat. 205 00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:47.080 And I love the rough around the edges because that kind of implies authenticity, 206 00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:51.360 like when people are just being real. You know, you get what 207 00:16:51.399 --> 00:16:56.519 you get. Sometimes I can give you is not really all that much, 208 00:16:56.600 --> 00:17:00.399 but it's what I got today. That's what he says, Get what you 209 00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:07.720 get and you don't get upset. I like it. Expect nothing and you'll 210 00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:15.799 always never be disappointed. Yep. Are there any particular topics or is there 211 00:17:15.799 --> 00:17:18.880 any or is it just just being rhythm and hearing what he has to say 212 00:17:18.880 --> 00:17:22.559 about life. And you did mention his childhood, but is there is there 213 00:17:22.599 --> 00:17:26.880 anything else that you kind of like you go to him for if you're in 214 00:17:26.960 --> 00:17:30.599 need of a spark or in need of just a little bit of light or 215 00:17:30.640 --> 00:17:36.400 whatever. I know that he'll always be a straight shooter and he'll always give 216 00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:38.799 me, you know, the truth, even when it's ugly, even when 217 00:17:38.799 --> 00:17:41.839 I don't want to hear it. So if there's a time that I need 218 00:17:41.880 --> 00:17:45.680 to be told the truth about something or someone or a situation, I know 219 00:17:45.720 --> 00:17:48.359 that I can go to him, and he's probably the only person to be 220 00:17:48.359 --> 00:17:51.079 like, I don't want to do this, but I need to take this 221 00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:52.400 to Dad, and I know what the answer is going to be, but 222 00:17:52.440 --> 00:17:56.319 I still need to hear him say it. And he'll always kind of level 223 00:17:56.359 --> 00:18:00.160 set me. So you know, we have a really really good relationship that 224 00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:06.079 he can kind of call me on my stuff and kind of put me back 225 00:18:06.119 --> 00:18:08.680 on a good track. And he never tells me what to do or how 226 00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:12.240 to do it, Like he kind of lets me arrive at things on my 227 00:18:12.319 --> 00:18:18.279 own, and it's more that just conversation. And I think sometimes he doesn't 228 00:18:18.279 --> 00:18:22.240 even realize that that's what he's doing. But so that and then I like 229 00:18:22.279 --> 00:18:23.839 to listen to him. He used to be a commercial long haul truck driver, 230 00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:26.359 and so I like to listen to him. He'll tell me stories about 231 00:18:26.359 --> 00:18:32.400 his various you know halls, Like one time he called caskets. He worked 232 00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:36.599 for a casket company and he drove from Maine to Texas and he stopped at 233 00:18:36.599 --> 00:18:40.759 this particular road rest stop to use the bathroom or something, and this homeless 234 00:18:40.759 --> 00:18:42.799 person came up to him and was like bugging him for a ride. And 235 00:18:42.839 --> 00:18:45.640 he'd been like, nah, dude, Nah dude, no dude, And 236 00:18:45.640 --> 00:18:47.160 then he finally got sick and he's like, all right, yeah, I 237 00:18:47.160 --> 00:18:48.079 got s face for you. Come with me. And he goes around the 238 00:18:48.079 --> 00:18:51.119 back of the trailer and he opens up the date. He's got eighty seven 239 00:18:51.160 --> 00:18:52.920 seats, pick your favorite, and the guy looked at him like oh and 240 00:18:52.920 --> 00:18:56.240 then like ran off. You know, my dad that because it's kind of 241 00:18:56.240 --> 00:18:59.519 person or I was just like, oh, that's hysterical, Like I would 242 00:18:59.519 --> 00:19:03.319 have done the same thing. So I appreciate that, Like, you know, 243 00:19:03.240 --> 00:19:10.599 colony a lot of time alone to think up things to do, and 244 00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:15.400 I'm sure he was like laying for this poor man, like someone someone's going 245 00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:18.200 to get the benefit of my of my sense of humor today, I don't 246 00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:22.920 know who that lucky person is. Let don't even know that he like plots 247 00:19:22.920 --> 00:19:25.720 it. I think sometimes it just bubbles into his mind, you know, 248 00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:30.279 on the spot where he just has that great ability to just capture a thought 249 00:19:30.319 --> 00:19:34.039 in the moment and then acts on it in a really fun way. That's 250 00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:37.680 pretty cool too. It's all again part of what you see is what you 251 00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:41.359 get, and what you get is what you get, and that's it. 252 00:19:41.359 --> 00:19:42.880 Well, he's a big kid, like he really is. He's just a 253 00:19:42.880 --> 00:19:47.519 big kid. So it's fun to like watch him with my kids or like 254 00:19:47.519 --> 00:19:49.319 I remember when we were younger we went to Disney World for the first time, 255 00:19:49.359 --> 00:19:53.960 like watching him skip down Main Street and Disney World as you know, 256 00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:57.519 forty fifty year old man with a knee problem, but he still was like 257 00:19:57.559 --> 00:20:02.400 I don't care like dad, new Balance sneakers and fanny pack and all. 258 00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:07.400 I just took a gallivant down the street in Disney World that didn't care who 259 00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:10.680 saw. And he loves that stuff. And that's what I love about him 260 00:20:10.720 --> 00:20:15.599 is he lives unapologetically himself. I love that. And what you brought to 261 00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:18.640 mind was the first time that we went to Disney with our five year old 262 00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:22.720 and our seven year old, and the younger daughter, who is now forty 263 00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:27.839 two, was five and she did the exact same skipping down the boulevard. 264 00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:33.119 You know. We called it the Becky boogie. Yep, Well my dad 265 00:20:33.160 --> 00:20:40.759 did the Becky boogie. So so now that's really cool, and I really 266 00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:45.400 appreciate all of those insights. And speaking about being a kid, let's put 267 00:20:45.400 --> 00:20:49.799 you in that mindset again here, Please complete this sentence. When I grow 268 00:20:49.880 --> 00:21:00.640 up, I'd like to when I grow up, I would like to yeah, 269 00:21:02.400 --> 00:21:15.680 yeah, hmm, make a difference. When I grow up, I 270 00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:18.920 would like to make a difference. And what would that look like now? 271 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:25.880 I mean, I think for me, it's leaving a legacy, having an 272 00:21:25.880 --> 00:21:32.519 impact, making a change, having some sort of piece of me that that 273 00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:37.359 lives on and inspires people or effects change in some kind of meaningful way. 274 00:21:37.440 --> 00:21:40.119 You know. To have a purpose in my life while I'm alive is great, 275 00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:42.640 But to be grown up and then after I'm gone, to have continue 276 00:21:42.640 --> 00:21:49.200 to have purpose I'm finding as important. It actually gives you a great now 277 00:21:49.319 --> 00:21:55.200 doesn't it thinking in terms of that m hm, yeah, I can. 278 00:21:55.240 --> 00:22:00.759 I can definitely see that in you while you're speaking. Mm or be president 279 00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:03.680 of the universe, you know, whichever one happens first. Well, I 280 00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:07.960 thought you already had that one knocked down. No, that's my four year 281 00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:14.240 old okay, supreme master of time, space and dimension. Yeah, she 282 00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:15.759 really is. She just has to decide if she's going to use her powers 283 00:22:15.759 --> 00:22:25.640 for good or for evil? Are you leaning in any particular? Whatever? 284 00:22:25.720 --> 00:22:29.640 Seems to make the biggest difference in the world. Right. It varies from 285 00:22:29.720 --> 00:22:30.599 day to day with her, But you know, she is only four, 286 00:22:30.759 --> 00:22:38.480 so she's delightfully thoughtful but also incredibly maniacal as she wants to be. And 287 00:22:38.519 --> 00:22:45.480 that's a dangerous combination because there's a lot of like intension and cognition around her 288 00:22:47.119 --> 00:22:52.599 maniacality. And I'm like, oh, that's scary. Does she notice when 289 00:22:52.599 --> 00:22:59.160 she's being how she's being? One hundred percent she's astutely aware of how intelligent 290 00:22:59.200 --> 00:23:03.039 she is, and it's a con choice. Yeah, Okay, I like 291 00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:08.359 it. We're all in trouble and no place to hide, or she'll find 292 00:23:08.359 --> 00:23:11.160 you. I know, I get it, I really do, and she 293 00:23:11.240 --> 00:23:18.240 will never quit. We hope that she never loses that skill. So kind 294 00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:25.119 of standing on that or not, What is the most important thing in life 295 00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:36.079 to you right now? Who the capacity to be present, to be mindful, 296 00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:42.960 to practice, the ability to be comfortable with the uncomfortable and the ambiguous. 297 00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:48.200 Like we as people get so caught up in needing to know what the 298 00:23:48.200 --> 00:23:51.559 future has in store for us and what is next or what's behind the next 299 00:23:51.559 --> 00:23:55.920 door or next opportunity or missed opportunities. And that's something that I found myself 300 00:23:55.960 --> 00:23:59.160 getting caught up in a lot. But I think on the same vein as 301 00:23:59.240 --> 00:24:06.599 being comfortable and loving myself. With that discovery came the discovery of the importance 302 00:24:06.759 --> 00:24:11.440 of just being present, experiencing the now. Not to say, don't worry 303 00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:15.079 about the leader, because you have to kind of do some planning for the 304 00:24:15.160 --> 00:24:19.000 lad but plan for it, but then let it go because you can't continue 305 00:24:19.039 --> 00:24:23.920 to reinvent that wheel, right. I heard that eloquently said earlier today that 306 00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:29.400 so many people are constantly planning about the next thing and the next thing. 307 00:24:29.880 --> 00:24:33.960 They almost never get when they get to that point. They never get to 308 00:24:33.119 --> 00:24:37.160 enjoy the now of it because you're always thinking about what's coming next. So 309 00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:41.720 I really love what you're saying, the whole mindfulness and being able to embrace 310 00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:49.000 what's going on on even like right this moment, the world is full of 311 00:24:49.039 --> 00:24:53.519 it. Now, the world. Whenever you say I'd like to do something, 312 00:24:53.559 --> 00:24:56.680 you know what, his first response is, well, we'll just see 313 00:24:56.720 --> 00:25:03.799 about that. Yep, you know like that. It's like you have a 314 00:25:03.799 --> 00:25:08.640 plan and you think it's this linear line, but it's like that's the technical 315 00:25:08.880 --> 00:25:15.440 in case you didn't know, or an approximation of that. Right. Sure, 316 00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:22.039 when this gets transcribed, I'm not quite exactly how that's going to be 317 00:25:22.039 --> 00:25:30.759 spelled, but I'll come up with something. So would that being the most 318 00:25:30.759 --> 00:25:34.160 important time of life? What would you like to leave in the world after 319 00:25:34.240 --> 00:25:38.160 you've let your life is done. You started talking in terms of making a 320 00:25:38.200 --> 00:25:45.960 difference, and what in particular difference you see that you could articulate or be 321 00:25:45.119 --> 00:25:49.319 very specific about it, or maybe in this moment, give yourself at least 322 00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:53.680 something that's a target that maybe you haven't haven't thought about or if you have. 323 00:25:56.279 --> 00:26:02.279 So I think right now my goal is to affect change around grief and 324 00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:07.319 bereavement. It's literally become my life's purpose. My life's mission, and I 325 00:26:07.359 --> 00:26:14.079 would like to educate people on grieving and its processes and the science behind it 326 00:26:14.119 --> 00:26:17.440 and the experience with it. But I would also like to change the legislation 327 00:26:17.640 --> 00:26:22.400 around bereavement and bereavement leave and bereavement care and death care in the United States. 328 00:26:22.440 --> 00:26:26.960 I think that that would be an incredible gift and a legacy to leave 329 00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:33.680 behind. I agree with you, And it's not something that is talked about 330 00:26:33.720 --> 00:26:37.279 regularly, is it. No, And that's why I chose the work that 331 00:26:37.319 --> 00:26:41.359 I do and started the business that I did, was so I could do 332 00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:44.519 that and give that to people, to foster that dialogue. You know, 333 00:26:44.599 --> 00:26:48.160 talking about death doesn't have to kill you. It really is a part of 334 00:26:48.200 --> 00:26:52.759 life and we can't avoid it. So why avoid it? Well, that's 335 00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:57.759 a courageous thing to take on because it's not like you just go out and 336 00:26:57.799 --> 00:27:02.559 you go to work. You have to teach people language first. You have 337 00:27:02.599 --> 00:27:06.440 to get inside of their understanding of what they think it is and that it 338 00:27:06.480 --> 00:27:11.720 isn't because they're not present while they're in a grief state and all the other 339 00:27:11.759 --> 00:27:14.680 things that go along with it. It's not like you can hand them something. 340 00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:18.079 Now it's all better you know, you take this now pill or blueprint 341 00:27:18.279 --> 00:27:23.880 or book or roadmap or anything. And grief is so personal and individualize that 342 00:27:23.920 --> 00:27:29.039 there's no blanket statement or scripts or anything that I can say, So you 343 00:27:29.079 --> 00:27:33.839 really have to continually reinvent the conversation every time you talk to someone new about 344 00:27:33.839 --> 00:27:37.519 it. And that's a challenge, but it's also a pleasure for me to 345 00:27:37.640 --> 00:27:42.119 get the honor of doing that work well kind of hearing it in my words, 346 00:27:42.160 --> 00:27:47.119 you know, as a business and life coach, what I actually hear 347 00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:55.359 is the whole notion of giving people something, you know, to kind of 348 00:27:55.640 --> 00:27:59.920 deal with the noise going on in their head and all the thought to store, 349 00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:04.200 not thinking that they're true and real and need to be acted on or 350 00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:08.880 to be avoided. But they're just like the air that's going on around you, 351 00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:12.559 and a leaf falling through the air, and all the other million things 352 00:28:12.599 --> 00:28:18.119 that happen every moment that you don't notice, except for some of them hook 353 00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:22.920 you and trigger you correct And it's how do you not brace for impact and 354 00:28:22.079 --> 00:28:27.160 breathe through those moments and accept the inevitables and the ambiguous and the scary and 355 00:28:27.200 --> 00:28:32.599 the uncomfortable. How do we get comfortable, being uncomfortable cool, And it's 356 00:28:32.640 --> 00:28:36.119 all about, you know, having it take less and less away from your 357 00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:40.279 day instead of spoiling your whole day or your whole week. You know, 358 00:28:40.440 --> 00:28:45.079 it comes back to maybe it's only an hour, maybe it's only a minute. 359 00:28:45.359 --> 00:28:49.559 Maybe it's something you can learn to chuckle with afterwards about your response to 360 00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:53.039 whatever it was. And then you for a moment you feel compu and you 361 00:28:53.079 --> 00:28:56.599 say, we'll bring on the next one. And then when it comes to 362 00:28:56.319 --> 00:29:00.240 you got what I wish for, so we are. It's like learning to 363 00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:03.759 swim in the ocean. You know, you get dropped in the middle of 364 00:29:03.759 --> 00:29:07.279 this and you have to learn how to like surf these waves about any experience, 365 00:29:07.359 --> 00:29:11.480 and eventually, over time you learn how to tread water and ride the 366 00:29:11.559 --> 00:29:17.400 wave. But it's a really stiff and steep learning curve that no one can 367 00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:22.599 prepare you for until you experienced it. Yeah, and the alternative to getting 368 00:29:22.599 --> 00:29:27.640 good at it is to drown and die correct quite literally, some people choose 369 00:29:27.640 --> 00:29:30.559 to do that. They don't do anything else the rest of their lives. 370 00:29:32.359 --> 00:29:36.279 They don't choose to do it. They don't choose to do anything. And 371 00:29:36.279 --> 00:29:41.359 that's really the success to you know, the key to successful grief is choosing 372 00:29:41.559 --> 00:29:48.359 to be open to the opportunities to experience joy and exactly as opposed to having 373 00:29:48.400 --> 00:29:52.119 something that's either this or that. Maybe there's by being mindful, there's other 374 00:29:52.200 --> 00:29:56.480 opportunities and things that can present themselves that will buy you a piece of a 375 00:29:56.559 --> 00:30:03.599 cookie right now, if not a whole one being present exactly. So that's 376 00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:07.480 really great. And I love your take on life. I love your take 377 00:30:07.519 --> 00:30:12.759 on you know, answering these questions. And I got a baker's question for 378 00:30:12.839 --> 00:30:17.200 you. You know, do you go to a baker much? No, 379 00:30:17.319 --> 00:30:22.680 not particularly, but the one I go to is really beautiful. So if 380 00:30:22.680 --> 00:30:30.039 I get five a dozen Muttons muffins, I get a thirteenth one for free. 381 00:30:30.359 --> 00:30:34.599 Uh huh, I've never bought Yeah, exactly, I've never So this 382 00:30:34.680 --> 00:30:40.079 is the baker's question. Okay, So, hey, what is the thing 383 00:30:40.200 --> 00:30:48.240 that most people misunderstand about you? Oh? Oh gosh, that my personality. 384 00:30:48.400 --> 00:30:52.640 I am. I am loud, and I take up a lot of 385 00:30:52.720 --> 00:31:00.440 space, and I am excitable and like a puppy sometimes. But really that 386 00:31:00.599 --> 00:31:08.400 is because I have ADHD and OCD and chronic PTSD and all of those fun 387 00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:14.559 neurospicy things culminate into this really great personality that I just don't apologize for anymore, 388 00:31:14.559 --> 00:31:15.680 and go, you know what, I am who I am, and 389 00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:18.839 this is how I am, and this is how I navigate the world. 390 00:31:18.839 --> 00:31:22.039 And I'm not always great at it, but I do my best and I 391 00:31:22.119 --> 00:31:26.519 mean well. But a lot of people take the big personality or the loudness 392 00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:32.799 as aggressive or bossy or too much or so I think. You know, 393 00:31:32.839 --> 00:31:37.279 once people get to know me and they understand how my mind works and how 394 00:31:37.359 --> 00:31:40.680 I navigate the world, then they go, oh yeah, like yeah, 395 00:31:40.680 --> 00:31:42.519 I hear so many times like oh I really thought you were the B word 396 00:31:42.519 --> 00:31:45.279 when I first met you, or oh I thought you were like super aggressive 397 00:31:45.319 --> 00:31:48.400 and like a lot when I first met you, And I'm like, yeah, 398 00:31:48.440 --> 00:31:52.839 I know, and I try not to be, but then I run 399 00:31:52.880 --> 00:31:56.519 into the risk of stifling myself, and so I usually forewarn people, be 400 00:31:56.599 --> 00:31:59.640 like, hey, if you're gonna hang out with me, just understand I 401 00:31:59.680 --> 00:32:01.400 take a a lot of space, So sorry ahead of time if that's a 402 00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:07.519 problem, but let me know, and there's the door. I'll tell you 403 00:32:07.559 --> 00:32:10.119 what just for the moment. Imagine a fish trying not to be a fish, 404 00:32:10.200 --> 00:32:19.559 right unless it's called Wanda exactly. I wonder if Wanda really knew her 405 00:32:19.640 --> 00:32:23.440 name was Wanda maybe, And that was a great movie, one of my 406 00:32:23.480 --> 00:32:29.559 all time one of my favorites. Yeah, well maybe we have a future 407 00:32:29.599 --> 00:32:34.839 watching some all time favorites together. I love that Love it double feature with 408 00:32:34.960 --> 00:32:38.759 Doom and no fish called Wanda. There you go, absolutely great great casts 409 00:32:38.759 --> 00:32:44.119 in both. I love it. So that's it for the scripting questions. 410 00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:47.480 Do you have anything, any of any questions or anything that you'd like to 411 00:32:47.519 --> 00:32:52.119 say about the questions or this experience. I love this, like, I 412 00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:54.640 really think that this is an important dialogue. I'm not going to lie. 413 00:32:54.680 --> 00:32:58.240 You sent me a list of questions and I was like super overwhelmed and at 414 00:32:58.279 --> 00:33:01.400 ADHD neurodivergency. Like I read the first five questions and I had to close 415 00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:05.480 the email and then I forgot it existed because out of site, out of 416 00:33:05.480 --> 00:33:07.359 mind. And then I went back and looked at it today and then I 417 00:33:07.359 --> 00:33:09.400 had like not a panic attack, but I like about it. And then 418 00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:12.839 I, you know, I was like okay with it, you know, 419 00:33:12.880 --> 00:33:16.200 so here we go talking about that neurospicy but but no, like anybody else 420 00:33:16.240 --> 00:33:19.680 who does this like, don't get overwhelmed by the list of questions. Just 421 00:33:19.759 --> 00:33:25.359 understand it's a it's a conversation and and just the opportunity to talk about myself 422 00:33:25.720 --> 00:33:30.640 is new for me. Nobody really asks about me and the opportunity to share 423 00:33:31.000 --> 00:33:35.119 my passion for my work. And if it's okay, I'd love to share 424 00:33:35.200 --> 00:33:37.920 you know, my website and if we could include that, that would be 425 00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:40.640 great. So for people who are looking for grief and bereavement support for resources 426 00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:46.519 I own on Tuesdays we wear Black and I can be found on www dot 427 00:33:46.559 --> 00:33:52.720 ot WWB dot com or on Tuesdays we Wear Black dot com, where I 428 00:33:52.759 --> 00:33:58.759 host a free educational blog and naturally have credited resources for grief. Member well 429 00:33:58.839 --> 00:34:04.559 said, thank you now before we before we part, do you have any 430 00:34:04.599 --> 00:34:09.679 questions for me? Oh? What was your favorite cartoon as a kid? 431 00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:20.800 My favorite cartoon as a kid, there were so many. So being a 432 00:34:20.800 --> 00:34:27.400 freshman in college and having done up all for off Riday night and hearing that 433 00:34:27.599 --> 00:34:31.760 Warner Brothers intro to that Oscar winning rabbit on Saturday morning, mm hmm, 434 00:34:34.039 --> 00:34:43.679 never miss sirih is so beautiful. So when I was a kid, I 435 00:34:43.679 --> 00:34:47.920 would have to say, my very favorite, my my very favorite one was 436 00:34:47.920 --> 00:34:59.559 probably Deputy Domo because they were all misfits mm hmm. They weren't better than 437 00:34:59.559 --> 00:35:05.280 anybody, and they all had these really quirky personalities and really strange way of 438 00:35:05.320 --> 00:35:12.480 speaking, very distinctive. And then probably close behind that would be all the 439 00:35:12.559 --> 00:35:19.360 Popeye episodes. Oh but I really I really felt let down when I ate 440 00:35:19.400 --> 00:35:23.679 spinach. Yeah you know, I hear that a lot. That's because you're 441 00:35:23.679 --> 00:35:28.719 eating it out of a can, so you gotta eat it fresh. So 442 00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:34.039 thank you for asking that probing question. Now you know my deepest darkness about 443 00:35:34.360 --> 00:35:40.599 Popeye. The real question is do you like spinch spinach? So you gained 444 00:35:40.639 --> 00:35:45.480 something from Popeye? Then a matter of fact, I got spinach in my 445 00:35:45.719 --> 00:35:51.079 refrigerator right now. I love having it on salads rarely until it's starting to 446 00:35:51.079 --> 00:35:52.800 get a little bit long in the tooth, thud while I while I boil 447 00:35:52.840 --> 00:35:59.000 it, But it's usually just another grain. I like it on pizza. 448 00:36:00.199 --> 00:36:09.000 Excellent spinach pizza. You spinach and chicken on pizza. We've got a future. 449 00:36:09.039 --> 00:36:13.519 I can see that. So actually, because I don't eat a lot 450 00:36:13.559 --> 00:36:16.280 of bread, I actually take shredded chicken and I turn it into like a 451 00:36:16.320 --> 00:36:20.960 pizza crust, like I have a recipe for like baked shredded chicken, and 452 00:36:21.000 --> 00:36:23.679 it turns that into the pizza crust. And then I'll put either like a 453 00:36:23.760 --> 00:36:27.840 cheese sauce or something on it, or an Alfrido sauce, and then I'll 454 00:36:27.880 --> 00:36:30.760 do my shredded cheese and my spinach and like bacon or something. And so 455 00:36:30.800 --> 00:36:37.320 you got chicken, bacon, pizza. We have covered the beach in terms 456 00:36:37.360 --> 00:36:42.000 of topics. I love it. We've managed to get into food of them 457 00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:47.079 we both have in the same lane with regard to protein and green well and 458 00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:50.280 you'll get a little bit of everything with me when you talk to me. 459 00:36:50.360 --> 00:36:53.639 So we don't want to thank you for you know, opening yourself up and 460 00:36:53.679 --> 00:36:59.039 spending this time. And we really did get an opportunity to experience what the 461 00:36:59.079 --> 00:37:01.920 world looks like while you trying to do something. And it'll be very interesting 462 00:37:01.960 --> 00:37:07.559 to see or enjoys what we've gotten done here. I enjoyed this AMENSI I 463 00:37:07.599 --> 00:37:14.039 appreciate the opportunity for it absolutely. Before we say goodbye, I just want 464 00:37:14.079 --> 00:37:19.960 to reach out and invite all of you, my listeners to call somebody you 465 00:37:20.079 --> 00:37:27.960 know or text them or email them, or let know your world works because 466 00:37:27.960 --> 00:37:31.280 they're in it. Let them know that you that you love them and that 467 00:37:31.360 --> 00:37:36.679 you're looking forward to seeing them again soon. With that said, everything else, 468 00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:42.280 cake, that's it all right, y'all, Bye bye. For now 469 00:37:44.199 --> 00:37:47.280 you've been listening to Simple Questions for one hundred people, part of the x 470 00:37:47.360 --> 00:37:52.639 Audio podcast Network. You can find every episode at xvadio dot com, slash 471 00:37:52.679 --> 00:37:59.360 podcasts, the Apple podcast app, Google Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, and 472 00:37:59.440 --> 00:38:07.119 wherever you find podcasts m