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Hey, Hey, I'm bad with
something for you to think about. So

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today I want to talk about something
that is obviously a touchy subject for men

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and women, some men and women. I have told you so many times,

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all of these referencing women and referencing
men, you're not talking about all

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men or all women. You cannot
put all women in the same category.

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You cannot put all men in the
same category. But people continue to do

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it. You know why people continue
to do it because they are immature too.

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The people that they're talking about,
they're immature. But the people who

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are putting people in the same category
all women, all men, they are

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immature too, because a mature person
would know better. That's just fact.

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So what am I talking about today? Keep listening. There have been an

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awful lot of talk about men not
opening the door for women. There's been

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a lot of talk about men not
paying for dates or meals on dates.

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There's been a lot of talk about
women taking care of men. Listen.

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I don't care what you believe.
I don't care how you feel or what

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you do. How you choose to
live your life is on you. I

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don't care what other people think in
reference to how they live their life.

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I just don't. Everybody is entitled
to believe what they believe. I will

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knock you for how you believe,
and I hope you don't knock me for

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how I believe. That's just how
it is. But too many people in

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this world are too invested. I
mean, you take things way too seriously

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when they don't even pertain to you. You spend so much time minding other

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people's business, minding other people relationships. Will you need to be tending to

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your own. It's not the end
of the world. If a man don't

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open the door for you, would
it be nice for him to do so.

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Yes, Personally, I wouldn't consider
it as a terrible thing if he

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did it. You have two arms, you can open the door for yourself.

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That's just how I feel. It
would be nice if a man did,

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but I wouldn't count it against him
if he didn't. Now, if

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he stood there waiting for me to
open the door, that would be a

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different story. But if I'm opening
the door, If I'm going to the

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door first and I open the door
and he grabs the door and come in

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behind me, I'm cool with that. If he opens the door, I'm

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cool with that. I'm not that
penny. It does not mean that much

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to me. I don't put that
much stake in that. I really don't.

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Maybe it's me I'm the different one, but I just it's not that

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serious. It's just not that serious. Some of you are just thinking about

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the wrong things. You need to
put more time and energy into other things

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and leave the petty things along.
If you don't open the door for you

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and you don't like it, just
say something instead of going off, say

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I like for men to open the
door for me, but be prepared because

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it may say, well, you
could open the door for me. I'm

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just saying he may. I don't
think that would be the correct answer,

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But I'm just never know. I'm
just saying women are putting too much on

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things that really it's not that important. It really isn't. What gets me

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is when men don't open the door
for their women, but they are eagerly

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glad, they're very glad to open
the door for other women. Now I

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will have a problem with that,
definitely, but those are two different situations.

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But sometimes men do that. They
don't open the door for their own

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women, but they'll open the door
for someone else, another woman, I've

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seen it with my own two eyes. But if you have an issue with

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that, be an adult and talk
about it. He may not know it

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means something to you, so talk
about it. Don't go off on him,

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because that's a very ingrature way to
handle any situation. Okay, enough

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about that. The next topic is
go it out to dinner. I believe

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if a guy asks you out to
dinner, if he asked you out,

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he should be willing to pay for
the meal. But in casey don't always

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be prepared to pay for your own. Don't get upset about it. He's

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not obligated to pay for your meal, so don't get upset about it.

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Pay for your own meal, and
don't go out again with him. That's

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how you handle it. You don't
get crazy because he didn't pay for your

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meal. After all, it's his
money. He can do whatever you want

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to do with it. If you
don't pay for your meal, pay for

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your own meal and be done with
it. Don't go out on another date

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with him if it bothers you that
much, but finish that particular moment like

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an adult. How do it like
an adult? Some women just go off

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or they're just running their minds,
and the guy said, well, you

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pay for your own meal. Now
she really really married. Always always be

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prepared to pay for your own meal. Be prepared because you never know what

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may happen. Stop automatically thinking,
oh, he's gonna pay for my meal.

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He got me. Although, as
I said, if he invites you

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out to dinner, he should pay
for the meal. That's just courtesy.

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But be prepared to pay for your
own just in case. You should always

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now if you both decide together to
go out. I don't see nothing wrong

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with splitting a bill show me anywhere. What it says is show me anybody

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where. It says a man must
pay for the meal. That's not written

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in any book. That's not a
law. That's just what society make people

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think. That's what that is.
Society make people think, oh, he

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has to pay for the meal.
I just don't. It would be nice,

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and I think a good and butture
man wen'll pay for the meal.

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But they're not obligated. The right
thing to do will be paid for the

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meal if he invited the woman out. That's just curtesy and coming sense.

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But a lot of people aren't courteous
and have no common sense. So that's

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why we always seeing people arguing about
it on these social media platforms. Always

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be prepared to pay for your own
meal. If you don't have money in

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your own pocket. Let me say
it again, if you don't have money

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in your own pocket, in your
pocket, your own pocket, if you

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don't have money to pay for your
meal, how in the heck you're gonna

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get mad if he don't pay for
your meal? If he say, I

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don't have any money to pay for
your meal, how are you gonna get

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mad when you don't have money to
pay for your meal? Think about that?

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Think about it. That's what you
do. Think about it. A

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lot of women, and I'm gonna
say, immature women they get on this

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how horse for some reason don't have
two pennies to work together some of them.

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But they think the man is supposed
to do all of this and that

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for them, society have bamboothed you. A real grown and mature woman,

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she knows the deer, She absolutely
knows the deal, and she definitely is

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not going to get out of character. She's gonna pay for her meal and

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keep it moving. That's what a
real adult, mature woman will do.

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So putting all women in the same
category is just wrong, It's absolutely wrong.

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So let's move on. A lot
of people are also talking about women

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who are fitting the bill for everything. Who's taking care of a man?

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Now, listen on that scenario.
Count me all the way out because I

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don't believe in taking care of a
man. I don't believe in carrying a

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man like you would carry a child. What I need for? What do

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you need a man for who takes
from you and does not enhance your life?

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You don't need that kind of man. You do not need that kind

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of man. And I will say
a man don't need that kind of woman.

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If all she's doing is taken taking, she needs this, she needs

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that all the time. You don't
need that kind of woman. You need

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a woman who enhance your life as
well. That goes both ways. And

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betore people understand that. I've heard
so many women say, oh, I

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want a man with this and that
and blah blah blah, but they don't

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have anything themselves. Make it make
sense, as they say, because it

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does not. It simply does not. There are many women who take care

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of men and then they get to
the point of resentment and regret. They

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can't stand them because now they see
he's slothful, They see how lazy he

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is, they see how he's draining
them in every way possible. They see

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it, and now they're sick and
tired of it. But that's what you

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chose, that's what you've signed up
for. But oh, you couldn't see

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past the looks. You cann't see
past fine he was. You can see

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past those words sweet like a honeycomb. You just had to have him,

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You just had to have him.
And now you're miserable because you're stuck with

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a bomb. You're stuck with a
slowful bomb. That's not a mature man,

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and you are not a mature woman
because you would have never chosen him,

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you would have never allowed him into
your life. Now you're stuck with

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someone who you can't get rid of
because now he's spoiled by all the things

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you have done for him. You
created that monster. You we are the

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ones who create the monsters in our
lives. We are we are the ones

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who open the door and allow people
in. We are the ones who do

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that. You're the one who allow
and accept things that you should have.

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So a lot of people find themselves
in relationships unhappy because you can't keep anything

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because you're always given, given,
given, given, given, whether it's

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the male to the female or the
female to the male, you're always given.

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And now you see how much you've
been given, and now you're resentful

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and regretful. That's why I tell
you all all of the time, you

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have to go into relationships with your
eyes wide open. Not why shut,

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why shut? Mean your eyes are
open, but you can't see nothing because

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you're too caught up in you.
You're too caught up in what you want,

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what you feel, what you desire
in your thoughts, but you can't

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see past it to the truth.
I've told you several times. Most people

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get into a relationship based on how
they feel. When I say they,

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I'm talking about you self, the
individual. You get into relationships based on

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how you feel, but you don't
look at what's actually going on. You

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don't look at what you're actually getting
me. You only look at how you

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feel. You base everything on how
you feel because he or she gives you

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enough nuggets and nibblets to make you
want to be in a relationship. Even

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though they don't want to be in
a relationship with you. They just like

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what you do for bending and specially
those who don't have their own laying under

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your room see under your table.
You know, it seems like it's great

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in the beginning because they're making sure
they're rilling you in or they rilled you

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in. Oh, they make sure
they please you enough to want them around.

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But they're not bringing anything to the
table. They're just sexing you up

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or filling your valley with the food
that you could buy if they're not really

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bringing anything to the table. So
a lot of people fall from these types

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of individuals. Then you have people
on social media putting all women in the

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same category, all men in the
same category because they made bad decisions and

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choices. Now you're generalizing things over
all population of women or men because you

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chose bad. Now you feel that
every woman is the same or you feel

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that every man is the same.
That's an immature mindset, because anyone with

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any kind of sense know that all
women are not the same and all men

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are not the same. But when
you're talking from a bitter heart, when

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you're talking from negative experience, when
you're talking from trauma, then that's the

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mindset that you have. You think
everyone is the same and they are not.

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So I wanted to talk about it
because I've been hearing so much about

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it on social media. I mean, it's appalling, absolutely appalling, the

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things men are saying about women,
especially black men, about black women.

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It's appalling that men will say those
things about women, and some men just

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about women in general. It's appalling. It's really really frightening really that men

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think so harshly of women. But
again, those are immature men who are

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speaking from a place of hurt,
a place of bad experiences. That's what

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that is. Because an adult,
grown, mature man, he knows better.

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A grown, adult, mature woman
she knows better. And there is

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a difference between the mature and the
immature, definitely a difference. But all

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I'm hearing is this negativity lay and
it's really terrible, it really is.

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So I wanted to talk about it
again. If you get in a relationship

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with someone who has nothing to bring
to the table, that's on you.

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That is totally on you. But
believe me, you will suffer the consequences

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of your choices. If you go
out on a date, make sure you

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talk about are you paying or do
you expect for me to pay? Are

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we splitting the bill? Talk about
it. Don't eat the food first and

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then have the dilemma. Talk about
it. Listen, you asking me out

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on a date. Are you paying? Are we splitting the bill, or

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are you paying for yours and I'm
paying for mine? Talk about it.

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Don't be embarrassed. You're not embarrassed
to go off, So just talk about

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it. Get it out the way
before you get to the restaurant. That

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way, when you eat your meal
and you're finished, you don't have to

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worry about any drama. You'll already
know how it's supposed to go down.

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You're all ready no communicate it could
say so much drama from a current if

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you really really can. And lastly, if you want the man, ladies,

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that does not open the door for
you. It is not the end

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of the world. I don't care
what your mama said, or your daddy

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said, or your grandmother or grandfather
said. It is not the end of

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the world. If he does,
great, But if he doesn't, that

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should not be a game changer.
And it does not dictate that he's gonna

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be a terrible guy. It don't. But if it's that important to you,

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express it that simple. That's all
I'm saying. I hope you get

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it. Thank you so much for
listening. Much love to each and every

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one of you. Please check out
Relatable Life Chronicles and share Share this episode

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00:23:32.119 --> 00:23:40.400
of Relationship Chronicles. In every episode
the same and I heard you do it.

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You really really need to do it. Thank God, it