Hey, Hey, I'm bad with something for you to think about. So
today I want to talk about something that is obviously a touchy subject for men
and women, some men and women. I have told you so many times,
all of these referencing women and referencing men, you're not talking about all
men or all women. You cannot put all women in the same category.
You cannot put all men in the same category. But people continue to do
it. You know why people continue to do it because they are immature too.
The people that they're talking about, they're immature. But the people who
are putting people in the same category all women, all men, they are
immature too, because a mature person would know better. That's just fact.
So what am I talking about today? Keep listening. There have been an
awful lot of talk about men not opening the door for women. There's been
a lot of talk about men not paying for dates or meals on dates.
There's been a lot of talk about women taking care of men. Listen.
I don't care what you believe. I don't care how you feel or what
you do. How you choose to live your life is on you. I
don't care what other people think in reference to how they live their life.
I just don't. Everybody is entitled to believe what they believe. I will
knock you for how you believe, and I hope you don't knock me for
how I believe. That's just how it is. But too many people in
this world are too invested. I mean, you take things way too seriously
when they don't even pertain to you. You spend so much time minding other
people's business, minding other people relationships. Will you need to be tending to
your own. It's not the end of the world. If a man don't
open the door for you, would it be nice for him to do so.
Yes, Personally, I wouldn't consider it as a terrible thing if he
did it. You have two arms, you can open the door for yourself.
That's just how I feel. It would be nice if a man did,
but I wouldn't count it against him if he didn't. Now, if
he stood there waiting for me to open the door, that would be a
different story. But if I'm opening the door, If I'm going to the
door first and I open the door and he grabs the door and come in
behind me, I'm cool with that. If he opens the door, I'm
cool with that. I'm not that penny. It does not mean that much
to me. I don't put that much stake in that. I really don't.
Maybe it's me I'm the different one, but I just it's not that
serious. It's just not that serious. Some of you are just thinking about
the wrong things. You need to put more time and energy into other things
and leave the petty things along. If you don't open the door for you
and you don't like it, just say something instead of going off, say
I like for men to open the door for me, but be prepared because
it may say, well, you could open the door for me. I'm
just saying he may. I don't think that would be the correct answer,
But I'm just never know. I'm just saying women are putting too much on
things that really it's not that important. It really isn't. What gets me
is when men don't open the door for their women, but they are eagerly
glad, they're very glad to open the door for other women. Now I
will have a problem with that, definitely, but those are two different situations.
But sometimes men do that. They don't open the door for their own
women, but they'll open the door for someone else, another woman, I've
seen it with my own two eyes. But if you have an issue with
that, be an adult and talk about it. He may not know it
means something to you, so talk about it. Don't go off on him,
because that's a very ingrature way to handle any situation. Okay, enough
about that. The next topic is go it out to dinner. I believe
if a guy asks you out to dinner, if he asked you out,
he should be willing to pay for the meal. But in casey don't always
be prepared to pay for your own. Don't get upset about it. He's
not obligated to pay for your meal, so don't get upset about it.
Pay for your own meal, and don't go out again with him. That's
how you handle it. You don't get crazy because he didn't pay for your
meal. After all, it's his money. He can do whatever you want
to do with it. If you don't pay for your meal, pay for
your own meal and be done with it. Don't go out on another date
with him if it bothers you that much, but finish that particular moment like
an adult. How do it like an adult? Some women just go off
or they're just running their minds, and the guy said, well, you
pay for your own meal. Now she really really married. Always always be
prepared to pay for your own meal. Be prepared because you never know what
may happen. Stop automatically thinking, oh, he's gonna pay for my meal.
He got me. Although, as I said, if he invites you
out to dinner, he should pay for the meal. That's just courtesy.
But be prepared to pay for your own just in case. You should always
now if you both decide together to go out. I don't see nothing wrong
with splitting a bill show me anywhere. What it says is show me anybody
where. It says a man must pay for the meal. That's not written
in any book. That's not a law. That's just what society make people
think. That's what that is. Society make people think, oh, he
has to pay for the meal. I just don't. It would be nice,
and I think a good and butture man wen'll pay for the meal.
But they're not obligated. The right thing to do will be paid for the
meal if he invited the woman out. That's just curtesy and coming sense.
But a lot of people aren't courteous and have no common sense. So that's
why we always seeing people arguing about it on these social media platforms. Always
be prepared to pay for your own meal. If you don't have money in
your own pocket. Let me say it again, if you don't have money
in your own pocket, in your pocket, your own pocket, if you
don't have money to pay for your meal, how in the heck you're gonna
get mad if he don't pay for your meal? If he say, I
don't have any money to pay for your meal, how are you gonna get
mad when you don't have money to pay for your meal? Think about that?
Think about it. That's what you do. Think about it. A
lot of women, and I'm gonna say, immature women they get on this
how horse for some reason don't have two pennies to work together some of them.
But they think the man is supposed to do all of this and that
for them, society have bamboothed you. A real grown and mature woman,
she knows the deer, She absolutely knows the deal, and she definitely is
not going to get out of character. She's gonna pay for her meal and
keep it moving. That's what a real adult, mature woman will do.
So putting all women in the same category is just wrong, It's absolutely wrong.
So let's move on. A lot of people are also talking about women
who are fitting the bill for everything. Who's taking care of a man?
Now, listen on that scenario. Count me all the way out because I
don't believe in taking care of a man. I don't believe in carrying a
man like you would carry a child. What I need for? What do
you need a man for who takes from you and does not enhance your life?
You don't need that kind of man. You do not need that kind
of man. And I will say a man don't need that kind of woman.
If all she's doing is taken taking, she needs this, she needs
that all the time. You don't need that kind of woman. You need
a woman who enhance your life as well. That goes both ways. And
betore people understand that. I've heard so many women say, oh, I
want a man with this and that and blah blah blah, but they don't
have anything themselves. Make it make sense, as they say, because it
does not. It simply does not. There are many women who take care
of men and then they get to the point of resentment and regret. They
can't stand them because now they see he's slothful, They see how lazy he
is, they see how he's draining them in every way possible. They see
it, and now they're sick and tired of it. But that's what you
chose, that's what you've signed up for. But oh, you couldn't see
past the looks. You cann't see past fine he was. You can see
past those words sweet like a honeycomb. You just had to have him,
You just had to have him. And now you're miserable because you're stuck with
a bomb. You're stuck with a slowful bomb. That's not a mature man,
and you are not a mature woman because you would have never chosen him,
you would have never allowed him into your life. Now you're stuck with
someone who you can't get rid of because now he's spoiled by all the things
you have done for him. You created that monster. You we are the
ones who create the monsters in our lives. We are we are the ones
who open the door and allow people in. We are the ones who do
that. You're the one who allow and accept things that you should have.
So a lot of people find themselves in relationships unhappy because you can't keep anything
because you're always given, given, given, given, given, whether it's
the male to the female or the female to the male, you're always given.
And now you see how much you've been given, and now you're resentful
and regretful. That's why I tell you all all of the time, you
have to go into relationships with your eyes wide open. Not why shut,
why shut? Mean your eyes are open, but you can't see nothing because
you're too caught up in you. You're too caught up in what you want,
what you feel, what you desire in your thoughts, but you can't
see past it to the truth. I've told you several times. Most people
get into a relationship based on how they feel. When I say they,
I'm talking about you self, the individual. You get into relationships based on
how you feel, but you don't look at what's actually going on. You
don't look at what you're actually getting me. You only look at how you
feel. You base everything on how you feel because he or she gives you
enough nuggets and nibblets to make you want to be in a relationship. Even
though they don't want to be in a relationship with you. They just like
what you do for bending and specially those who don't have their own laying under
your room see under your table. You know, it seems like it's great
in the beginning because they're making sure they're rilling you in or they rilled you
in. Oh, they make sure they please you enough to want them around.
But they're not bringing anything to the table. They're just sexing you up
or filling your valley with the food that you could buy if they're not really
bringing anything to the table. So a lot of people fall from these types
of individuals. Then you have people on social media putting all women in the
same category, all men in the same category because they made bad decisions and
choices. Now you're generalizing things over all population of women or men because you
chose bad. Now you feel that every woman is the same or you feel
that every man is the same. That's an immature mindset, because anyone with
any kind of sense know that all women are not the same and all men
are not the same. But when you're talking from a bitter heart, when
you're talking from negative experience, when you're talking from trauma, then that's the
mindset that you have. You think everyone is the same and they are not.
So I wanted to talk about it because I've been hearing so much about
it on social media. I mean, it's appalling, absolutely appalling, the
things men are saying about women, especially black men, about black women.
It's appalling that men will say those things about women, and some men just
about women in general. It's appalling. It's really really frightening really that men
think so harshly of women. But again, those are immature men who are
speaking from a place of hurt, a place of bad experiences. That's what
that is. Because an adult, grown, mature man, he knows better.
A grown, adult, mature woman she knows better. And there is
a difference between the mature and the immature, definitely a difference. But all
I'm hearing is this negativity lay and it's really terrible, it really is.
So I wanted to talk about it again. If you get in a relationship
with someone who has nothing to bring to the table, that's on you.
That is totally on you. But believe me, you will suffer the consequences
of your choices. If you go out on a date, make sure you
talk about are you paying or do you expect for me to pay? Are
we splitting the bill? Talk about it. Don't eat the food first and
then have the dilemma. Talk about it. Listen, you asking me out
on a date. Are you paying? Are we splitting the bill, or
are you paying for yours and I'm paying for mine? Talk about it.
Don't be embarrassed. You're not embarrassed to go off, So just talk about
it. Get it out the way before you get to the restaurant. That
way, when you eat your meal and you're finished, you don't have to
worry about any drama. You'll already know how it's supposed to go down.
You're all ready no communicate it could say so much drama from a current if
you really really can. And lastly, if you want the man, ladies,
that does not open the door for you. It is not the end
of the world. I don't care what your mama said, or your daddy
said, or your grandmother or grandfather said. It is not the end of
the world. If he does, great, But if he doesn't, that
should not be a game changer. And it does not dictate that he's gonna
be a terrible guy. It don't. But if it's that important to you,
express it that simple. That's all I'm saying. I hope you get
it. Thank you so much for listening. Much love to each and every
one of you. Please check out Relatable Life Chronicles and share Share this episode
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