Weird things happened in the weird Weird Weird. AYO, what's up everybody today?
We have a very very special sequel episode for you today that it's gonna
be like that. Oh, it's gonna be like, yeah, we're acknowledging
it from up front. Uh, a lot of you if like longtime fans
will know uh that like episode six, we did an episode called a Stream
of Consciousness, and as you see by the title, this is the Stream
of Consciousness too. We waited about one hundred and twenty one episodes. We
felt like that was an appropriate time. We always intended to do this,
give it a good break, right, right, It was intentional from the
very beginning. And don't believe it's not. So we're doing another one a
Stream of Consciousness. We're just gonna get in here and chop it up.
We need a break, yeah, honestly, No, it's just like we
always come in here with a topic and it's like it can be a big
undertaking to do like rigorous preparation and do all the study and then like constantly
think of what are we gonna talk about on this one? What are we
gonna talk about this one? And I was just thinking I was like,
bro, what if we just like get in there and just like talk as
friends? Yeah, and so yeah, which is like you know, always
we're the type of friends that'll sit and talk. Honestly, most of our
friends will like sit and talk for hours and hours and just talk and have
a good time. But also there have been like there's at least on for
me, there's like been something kind of like on my mind lately, and
some things like weighing on me that might not like fit into like a structured
Yeah, you know what I'm saying, Like like a structure, it wouldn't
like fit the theme of an episode, but I still want to talk about
Also in addition to that, Yeah, that's a very good point, Like
there are a lot of things that may be on our mind that we want
to talk about or we want to like flesh out. But you know,
when we're doing a topic on gnosticism or or you know, Pinocchio by Garamovitorio
or some random topic, I mean, yeah, we are kind of pointed
to where we just have to talk about things that are outside of like actually
what we're going through. So mm hmm. Yeah, and up front,
real quick, big thank you to one of our patrons, Flag and Slayer,
Flagon Slayer in our discord, he sent us these lovely gifts. He
sent me this. Oh and by the way, I want everybody to know
and Flagon Slayer to know, because I haven't even gotten a chance to thank
him, you know, personally, yet thank you. This is amazing.
The crazy thing about this, I haven't even told you you this, Alex,
this book. When I first pulled it out, I couldn't really tell
what it was. It's kind of vague. It's called The Immortality Key The
Secret History of the Religion with no name, you know, that doesn't necessarily
say exactly what it is after reading the back though. It's about like ancient
Greek Christian mysticism, because you know, like, what do you say,
is that interesting? Yeah, it's it's really wild. But it's particularly wild
because, over like the past few weeks or like a month or so,
I've specifically been thinking about this because you might so, like the modern predominant
religion in Greece and amongst like Greeks around the world is Christian Orthodox. You
know, it's like their own kind of orthodox Christian belief system. But I
was like thinking recently, like Okay, how did we go from a pantheon
of powerful mystical gods to like Christianity just like generally like Greek culture. Yes,
yeah, how it's a big leap. It's strange to me. It's
really strange to me. Another thing that I've been thinking about is like,
did that whole like kind of belief system and thought system of this pantheon of
gods all representing different aspects of nature? Like, did that just dissolve?
Is there no one out there that believes in that kind of you know thing?
Yeah, I've always wondered that too, you know what I'm saying.
Yeah, And this is like getting into exactly that. So you I don't
know how flag in between you're talking about, Yeah, exactly. I imagine
it's like anywhere you go around the world. Man, Like you go to
a place like like I just went to Mexico, right, It's it's very
there's a lot of Catholicism there, but then you see notes of like the
local indigenous beliefs. I mean where I was in Puerto Varta, everywhere you
walk around, it's the shamanism, the peote worship or whatever. It's like,
I imagine it's probably the same in parts of Greece where it's like sure
it's christianized, it's modernized, but they probably have elements of reverence or worship
to some of these like ancient you know practices, Greek specific practices. Yeah.
Like I just like kind of peaked at the Table of Contents and there's
like a whole chapter about how they used ambrosia or like mead, you know,
or like early types of beer and stuff as like a pseudo psychedelic you
know. They yeah, yeah, they would like do these rituals with it
and involved it and everybody would like drink it and whatever, and they had
you know, like the whole Dioneasian rituals and like, yeah, shit like
that. It's like, yeah, they're getting drunk and they're tripping and they're
finding out crazy mystical shit. You know. It's what was that they're getting
drunk? No, I don't have a problem, right, No, But
that just made me realize that people do that today. They just don't think
about it as ritualistic. Like what is going to a club dancing to music
and getting drunk that's a dian Easian ritual? Well, I mean yeah,
kind of or a multiple culture ritual Yeah, and nobody's like, oh,
I'm going to ritualistically get drunk tonight. Yo. You know what though,
when you start listening to the French disco club scene in the nineties, that's
his Gregorian. Yeah, you know, like they get it, Yeah,
they get it. Yeah. Can you imagine like being in the medieval era
and like going to a disco and it's like beats with like Gregorian. That's
what I fantasize about. This is a real kind of music. I listened
to it. Yeah, we know, a right, trying to convince us
they don't know what I mean. I forgot. I forgot that this goes
out to people. Yeah it does. I forgot. You're right, you're
right. Look up. Sadanists by Enigma. That's the one. Yeah,
that's that's a secret deep cut like amongst the Bloods family. That's one of
our favorite, most cherished and and just loved songs in our family. One
more time, Uh Sadanis by Enigma. Let me says say yeah, like
SA d E n E s s Back in the nineties, my dad had
let me find the exact version. There's two versions of that song. Just
play a little bit. Sadanis Prientheses Part one. It came out in nineteen
ninety It's like some French disco song. But no, it's funny because in
the nineties my dad had one of those CDs that you buy off the TV.
It was called the CD off the TV. Remember they used to sell
CDs on the TV. It was called Pure Moods nineteen ninety seven, and
it had a bunch of it had like ya X files remix, just like
a bunch of vibe music. I guess he saw the commercial and he bought
it. And when we would go on road trips, like he'd be playing
the CD over and over and that song was on there, and it's it's
just like a legendary meme in our family. Privately, I recently let you
guys in on it for the first time. Oh yeah, just within the
past few months. It's honestly a bop. It's a bop. It really
is a bop. And when you tried to find it the first time,
it was like impossible. We couldn't find it because there's like a part one,
a part two. There's different versions of it. But yeah, another
thing that I want to talk about real quick is our new server and our
Discord, thank god, because I wanted to talk about that. All right,
Yeah, I've talked about it on full disclosure, but let them know,
bro, it's it's it's you're talking about Aouheim, right, absolutely?
Oh my god, dude. We for the last two weeks, so Nick,
for the last year. Maybe how long have we had the discord about
a year? Right? This year? Last year? Year? Right?
No, it can't be two years. Maybe year and a half. It
was last year, last March. No, we're coming up on two years.
Well this coming March would be too. Dang, that's great. Yeah,
yeah, it flies, it really does. Yeah. So for about
a year now we've Nick has at least had at various points he's had a
Minecraft server, which has done well. I personally am not a Minecraft player,
so I just I can't get into Minecraft. So I've I've never really
been involved with it, you know, but Nick and several of the the
patrons and the discord have played Minecraft off and on for the last year.
So Vaalheim recently came to Xbox and I was just like, dang, like
that'd be really cool, or rather Blake. It was Blake, dude.
It was like right after we started the Minecraft server we started. We do
it in seasons, so we'll put up a server, leave it for a
few months, and then once people get bored of it, we'll take it
down, and then later a couple months after we'll do a new season whatever.
We started this newest season and Blake was like, yo, I've never
played Minecraft, which, by the way, Blake, you're insane. In
two weeks he learned more about the game than I've known in over ten years.
It's like, it's unbelievable. But by the way, who Blake is?
What do you mean they don't know who Blake is? Oh yeah,
shout out Blake Powers. Uh, this is our buddy from high school.
I mean I think I might have even known him in middle school, but
definitely high school. Uh. There's this infamous story about one of the first
bands that Ryan and I were in and watching the Watchers. You can't even.
You can't even we were in you know, you can't. We created
it and then did nothing with it because we were kids, because yeah,
we were children. Well, we did a couple things. What we did
was we cleaned out a shed to put Ryan's drum set in, and then
we made a design for a t shirt that never came out. Yeah.
You know what's interesting that you might not remember Casey drew the design and then
Blake digitized it. Really yeah, I didn't know that. Yes, he
digitized. He would be the dude to do, like just just because I
know. So there's this there's this like hilarious picture of the day that we
were cleaning out the shed. We're all like standing around Ryan, Ryan as
a cast because you had broken your wrist or I broke my arm. Yeah
yeah my radio bone and Blake is in that picture. So anyway, uh,
Blake, you know, after after high school moved to Florida. I
haven't seen Blake in like thirteen or fourteen years. It's been a long long
time, but I mean we were close with him in high school and dude,
out of the blue a couple months ago, a few months ago or
something, I get a message from him on Facebook out of nowhere. Hey,
man, uh, I just want to let you know I just finished
listening to every single episode of your podcast beginning to end in the last two
weeks and two time speed Yes, he listened on two times, one hundred
plus yeah episodes and he's like it changed my life. I love it so
much. I love what you guys are doing. I'm proud of you,
and like that meant the world already. But then he joined the Discord.
He's like one of the most active people in there. He's the most he's
he's just amazing. You're the best, Blake. Uh. Anyway, we're
doing the Minecraft thing and he's like, hey, man, you play Valheim
and I was like, yeah, totally, I have. Dude. I
was like, dude, I have like two hundred something hours in Valheim.
I've played a lot of Valheim. He's like, sick, I have three
thousand hours in it. It's thirteen fifty oh okay, fourteen thirteen okay,
he showed me on deck. Yeah, so I've played a lot of it.
I have two hundred something hours. He has like six times what I
have. And he's like, if you ever wanted to start a Valheim server,
I'll start it. Yeah. So then next thing you know, I
started talking to Blake. I was like, dude, no, no.
We played Valheim one night and then the next day I was like, Blake,
let's do it, and he was like okay, and we set up
a server. So that's what we've been building the story to say is like,
for the last two weeks we've actually been playing Valheim with Dang, We've
got like ten plus people up in the server. Yeah, massive Viking Lodge.
Like it's a lot of fun. It's one of the funnest times I've
ever had, honestly, just playing with the people who who have our backs
and support us and listen to the show. And it's just like good vibes.
I'm honestly, yes, it is. I'm loving just the like dichotomy
or the you know, just the feeling of like playing chilling in a video
game with a bunch of like people who love the show. Yeah, and
you know they they want to talk to us. We want to talk to
them. This just gives us like a really easy way to do that.
Like we already sit around and play video games for hours, might as well
play it with freaking you know, our our people. I already have thoughts
too, like, you know, because because Valhem won't last forever, Like
where can we go from there? I was thinking, bro, like when
GTA six comes out, we'll have to do a BSS gang online. Oh
and like and like, yeah, we'll make a BSS gang because there's you
know those lobbies can be huge, like fifty players at least on GT five.
I don't know GT six, right, How funny would it be if
we had a BSS gang and we like ran servers and like, no,
no, we we go out there with no weapons and we enlighten everyone.
Oh that's true, Let's do the gang, Blake. Blake even had a
funny idea he's I was talking about, so long story short. I went
to Florida last week to visit my sister and me and my brother in law
Jack, and like we were just saying, you know, it's just total
synchronicity, Like we haven't talked to Blake since high school over ten years ago,
and he happened to like thirty minutes away from my sister, you know,
so I visited him. We hung out one day, like the whole
day, and it was a great time, and I was telling him that.
I was like, dude, I've been having so much fun with Alheim.
And then the GT six trailer came out like the day before, so
you know, we were talking about GK six and I was like, dude,
how funny would that be if we had a gang on GT six?
And Blake made the joke. I did not. I'm not aware of this.
Like, I don't know that much about GTA lore, but apparently there's
like a religious group in there. It's like a meme, but they like
worship the light. And he was like, how funny would it be if
we if we were like, you know, acolytes of that group in the
game. Yo, you know what I mean? If we're gonna do that,
Like it's gonna be two years before that. Oh I know, let's
just started fantasizing. Let's just started in GTA five. Bro, I am
so down. We need to finish the game, Ryan, huh, I
should Hey, like, I've never been in the count of five, never
be either, Bro? How have I heard? I have beat this game
four times, but it's like one of the only games you've ever played though,
Yeah it really is. I probably played a thousand videos, but I
just want to take this moment serious. I have played the game, and
y'all have it? Okay? Hold up? That brings up an interesting question,
Alex. Have you played Red Dead Redemption? Yes? I finished it
finally, the second one. Yes, Red Dead two. I haven't played
one, but I played two. One is old, bro, Yeah,
one's old. But two two is the prequel to one, it is,
right, So uh yeah, I cried at the end of that game.
Oh yeah, dude, it's it's fair. Game is immaculate. I got
to the end. I never beat it, but dude, it's awesome,
awesome. I just the story is amazing. Yeah yeah, and I just
am a sucker for some cowboys stuff. Of course, we know, we
know if they made a red Dead Redemption that was about surfing or something like
that, Like I mean, I'll probably never put it down. All I'm
saying is that if if I had a button to go back to eighteen eighteen
whatever and be a cowboy, like like a blown be a part of that
game. Okay, you play as well. Okay, Okay, this brings
up an interesting question. Now, would you hit that button even if it
means leaving everyone you love behind? Yes? Well, oh my god.
I have a better option though, because, like, literally, me and
you could just like schedule a Saturday coming up where we get together and we
do like intimate Yellowstone role play. Oh that's not where I thought that was
going. When I say no, and when I say intimate, I only
just mean like no one else is inbided sure, that's all. I mean,
we're the only ones in the room, and we role play like we're
characters from Yellowstone, Right. Yeah, sure, I'm not going to say
yes as quickly. You might still say yes, but not as quickly.
You don't like that idea. I like it. It's not that I don't
like the idea. I'm just not going to say yes as quickly. Oh
God, I can get it, yes, listen, I can squeeze it.
Yes, now you're talking about squeezing intimately metaphor. I don't know anyway.
I just picked up GTA five on Steam. It was on sale for
ten bucks. All right, So have you started playing the campaign now?
I haven't even touched it. You've been playing Valheim, brother, Yes,
honestly, we've been playing Valheim, and I don't think I've been playing anything
other than Valheim. I haven't wanted to. I'm not trying to get in
the way of Valheim here, Nick, But I need you to beat the
game before Ryan does, so then we can gang up on Ryan and make
him finish five what GTA? Yeah? How long is a campaign? Like
freaking fifty hours? Like? It's really not that it's a big game.
I'll try to say it's not long. Okay, maybe maybe it got shorter
on my fourth play through. Yeah, yeah, maybe it did. Yeah,
because once you beat a campaign, you know the through line of all
the main quests, you can just rush right through it, like you know,
playing Skyrim twelve years later, you could barrel through the story and be
clear, I'm just talking about the main storyline, and when you get done,
you're like fifty eight per sent done, right, and then there's another
there's another like what wait, so you can just rush through the main storyline.
Yeah, I just do that, and there's like all the side quests
and stuff that add to the percentage, just like just like Red Dead most
games, you get done with Red Dead and you're like seventy eight percent through.
I didn't know that, yeah yeah yeah. And then honestly, the
whole GTA online thing is really sick. Yeah we make a gang. Yeah,
yeah, we're motorcycle club or that too. Oh my god. The
other day, this is so ridiculous. I can't believe I saw this.
This was maybe yesterday, Yes, it was yesterday. My brother, my
dad and I were driving. We went to go early in the morning before
we started work. We went to pick up a washer form. My grandma
nice and we picked it up. And on the way over there, I
saw a biker church. It's called Freedom Biker Church. I know about that.
Here's the funny. I know people that went there. Really, I
don't want to say sure, sure, yeah. Here's the funny part.
We passed by it one way and we only saw one side of the building,
and I was like, we were losing it. We were like,
that's a biker church's yeah yeah. We were like, what is a biker
church? We're just joking, just cracking up about it or whatever. And
I was joking like, dude, there's no pews or seats or anything.
They just drive up to the altar and whatever. Right, dude, that
would be wait. Wait. On the way back, we saw the other
side of the building. There's no doors into the building. It's only garages.
And dude, the building is not that big and the garage doors are
massive. I'm thinking, yes, I'm thinking they literally drive in park,
turn the bike off, and listen to the sermon. Honestly, I would
do that. But I was also joking like, instead of applause, everybody
just like yeah, yeah, but a biker church, said so Biker Church
is what we're gonna do in GTA. Hell yeah, well we'll just like
we'll just like do episodes of the podcast like yeah, yeah, live for
Nothing but bikers. Do you remember? Dude? That would be a sweet
Patreon thing to do. No, I'm serious, because you wanted to do
uh what was it? No? Virtual reality? This is getting out of
hand. Bss Fest online. This thought of six that's where we're gonna hold
the first bss Fest is inside of grand the thought. I have always wanted
to do some sort of virtual thing, Like remember we were talking about like
Minecraft, what if we did an episode of Minecraft that was just a primitive
idea you wanted to do the what was it called the VR? Yeah,
yeah, yeah, in VR episode. I'm just saying maybe for a Patreon
perk down the road, we could do a virtual episode, don't you do?
You know I thought you had a VR thing. I do. I
thought so, but I don't really have anybody else who has one. To
a quest yeah question to Oculus question, yeah yeah, yeah, Okay,
you can do the whole like meta thing and you could go yeah, but
it's like just me going in by myself. So it's like, you know,
I still want to do something with that in my mind is like nothing's
ever closed, you know, we can always revisit or or we could do
Nintendo Golf episode. Oh my god, Alex, I can only hear you
talk about doing Nintendo Golf so much without you actually going and doing it on
the internet before I get furious. Look at your shirt. Okay, that
actually I stumbled onto the Nintendo Switch sub reddit on accident. Oh bullshit,
on accident. No, the Switch sports, I mean right, and I
was scrolling through the homepage and there's only one guy on there who's better than
me at golf. No, but I also hear that you go online,
it gets harder. Hey, I bet on GTA I could snipe you,
dude. I bet you kid, I bet I could snipe you man.
Oh my god, bro, I'm telling you man like Valheim is, since
playing that game with the omis in the Discord, I have not wanted to
play another game. No, yeah, me too, And I just honestly
am loving the vibe of getting in there and playing games with all the vibe.
Yeah, I want to keep doing it, and honestly, like whenever
the Valheim thing kind of dies down, which hopefully will be a while because
it's a lot of fun right now. Like hopefully we'll just jump right into
another game and we'll just keep doing that and we could even get to a
point someday where we like officially schedule it out and make it. Yeah,
Blake had that idea. He was like, y'all should have some sort of
a schedule. Yeah, you have a yearly schedule, like showing what games
we're gonna be playing what months, or it doesn't have to be the whole
year. I don't know something like I thought about the Lingo Fortnite thing,
but I was like, uh, I don't know, because it's too similar
to Valheim. It's very similar. It's pretty sick though, Like I don't
I don't you know, I don't play Fortnite, but that was awesome.
I saw the trailer and then my nephew Jonah, was like, hey,
let's play it, and I was like, okay, whatever. Basically,
with Jonah, if he tells me he wants to play something with me,
I'll just an I don't care what it is. Even if he told me
like he wanted me to play regular Fortnite with him, I'd be like,
all right, I'll play with it. He's my little nephew. You know,
I'll play whatever he wrote. That kid had me playing row Blocks.
You know that's a VR now really like recently. Yeah, OK, think
about that. Yeah, think about the applications of that. Yeah, it's
pretty insane. It's also kind of scary because like it's mostly children. Yeah,
you know, yeah, I've never actually played. But you know what's
funny is we were playing like a because basically the way that Roadblocks works,
I guess is like there's no like one version of rob there's no like base
version of Roadblocks. It's like people make different games to play within it,
and there was there is currently the most popular, like server in it is
a one piece game really yeah, and I mean, like, dude,
it's Roadblocks, Like, don't get too excited. But for Roadblocks, it
was like kind of cool. Like there's like a hundred different devil fruit powers
that you can get and you have to like find them and you actually have
to sail to all the islands. That's cool. You get to choose to
either be a pirate or a marine, like that's cool. It's kind of
that's cool. Yeah. The gameplay is like obviously like so clunky, and
basic and visually it's a nightmare. It looks like little legos running around.
It looks worse than it looks like if like my you know, four year
old niece made legos out of play though. Bro obviously, our our buddy
Jacob, shout out Jacob. He you know he has a daughter. Obviously.
I'm just saying because the listener is not sure, you know, but
yeah, when she was younger, she she loved roadblocks and it was funny
man, Like anytime you be at Jacob's house, like just staying, you
know, and he'd be like, look at what she's playing, and it's
always horror. It's a horror. Yeah, yeah, that is horror,
specifically always that's a thousand percent Jacob's daughter. It's hilarious just walking in like
seeing it, like, you know, that's funny, man, good memories
walking in on like weird roadblocks games. Yeah. Hey, I wanted to
kind of just catch up with you boys and just see how things have been
lately. I never I've been good. I never got the opportunity to thank
Flagg and Slayer for my book. Oh please, we did your book,
and you never showed your crystal. He also sent us any crystals. I
got a I'm not sure. I think this is amethyst. It didn't say
it was just in there looks like it. Yeah, it looks like it
to me, at least chevron amethyst. But I got an amethyst crystal and
two books. Actually, he sent me a Campo dell Colo meteorite, which
is like a meteorite that fell like four to six thousand years ago. It's
crazy and Campo dell Colo, I guess translates to field of heaven wow,
which is unreal. This is just like a tiny little piece of a six
thousand year old meteor that fell to the earth. I got these two books.
I got The Thinkers of the East by Idri's Shah. It's a book
on Sufi teaching, which is esoteric Islam. I thought that was pretty cool.
And then I got In Search of the Miraculous The Teachings of g I
Gurdjieff. Remember on Armali episode she was talking about gerdiff a little bit back
from the Borderline. Yeah, this is a classic exploration of Eastern religious thinking
and philosophy. So that was cool. Like he handpicked what books and what
crystals and what It was a really thoughtful gift. That's the first thing.
I said, like, this is such a thoughtful gift. It's crazy,
Like it was so thoughtful. He even knew like the specific niche of thing
that I was trying to read about. So thoughtful that I didn't get left
out exactly even the gifts. Yeah, gifts. I got a similar book
to Ryan, The Tales of the Dervishes. So I can't wait to figure
out what would you call me similar gift to Ryan Nook? You said,
Ryan, d you heard that right now, it'll come out, it'll come
out. And then he also, I didn't get a crystal, but he
sent me a ancient Roman coin, Constantine one, so that stoked about that.
Yeah, that's sick. Yeah, I'm like, I'm trying to figure
out. I'm like, how can I wear this? Oh, dude,
Actually, I know a guy in Fayetteville who this is no joke. He
has a business turning ancient coins into jewelry. That's cool. I'm not kidding.
Actually, you know Tommy, that's his dad. That might hit my
jeweler if they can do a little. He's made like multiple members of our
family rings out of Greek drachma coins like that'lace. It would be it would
be sick. Yeah, so if you want to like turn that into a
necklace or something, Alex, you could even get that like set into a
ring. That would be crazy, dude, hard, that would get so
hard, like a tiny little kiss my ring. It's constantine. It's just
the energy that you said that with ring. I make you guys do it
when you walk in here. Well, I'm sorry, I said it weird.
I'm just I'm just a little famished of energy after our intimate Yellowstone role
play. Okay that it didn't happen though, Oh it was. It was.
He's been sitting over here thinking about that in the entire time. Because
you think about it so much, it becomes real, right, yeah,
physically, so you're over there physically exhausting yourself, fantasizing about you and Alex
playing Yellowstone role play. Intimate yellow Oh sorry, intimate, Like it just
means we're alone. Yeah, it's just semantics. It just means no one
else is invited. No, no, no, no, no, the
guys are not interested. You're not, dude. The language is so intentional,
and you know it. Don't act like it's no, it's not semantics.
You chose those words specifically and now you're choosing more words specifically, you
say you're exhausted, you're depleted. What did you say? I'm depleted,
famished, famished famish. That means there's a hunger presence. I've basically excreted
all my staminas. Okay, dude, are you for real playing the semantics
game with me right now? And you're using words like excreted, it's it
just means like to shed something you know, shed is not as as wild.
To be fair, you're getting better. You're selling that I've been shedding
my vigor. Okay, all right, all right, dude, you're you're
leaning back into the ship. Okay, I mean you know, it's just
the way it is, and I'm not gonna change. I'm not gonna change
the way he's looking right at me when he said that it's intimate. It's
intimate. You have to look. That's the first rule of intimacy eye contact.
When when role playing as cowboys from a TV show, you do realize,
you do realize that those cowboys are in modern times, and you didn't
even notice that if we're gonna role play as cowboys, it's not gonna be
modern times. So it's not gonna be Yellowstone. No, No, it
would definitely have to be but our DRP. If you want to do it
like an Arthur and Joseia kind of thing, or like Arthur and Dutch thing,
you know, then it wouldn't be as quick of a Yes, I
was thinking more like Jackie and Jimmy. Who's that it's just me and him?
Are cowboy versions? Where did those names? Wait? Wait wait,
I called Jimmy. One of them is named Jackie. Yeah, and Jimmy.
Okay, Jackie and Jimmy are probably the least Yeah, they're probably the
least cowboy names I've ever heard of in my whole entire life. Jackie and
Jimmy. That's like you could have picked like Timothy and Fred what I mean?
Yeah? And those are like that just it just came to me in
that moment, you know, dude, those those are probably just as far
off. Yeah, No, that's what I'm saying. If a cowboy rolled
up to me and said, yo, my name is Timothy, I'd be
like, you're fucking yeah. But if he came up and said Jimmy,
you would feel more convinced. Jimmy, Yeah, I'd say Jimmy and Jackie
you brothers. They're not brothers. Okay, they're not brothers. They're very
close friends. How how close I mean? You know, I don't want
to get into like the privacy of what they do alone, you know.
Okay, Okay, So there just even insinuating that there is privacy, and
there there needs to be the point of the intimate role play session is because
no one else is invited sessions. It's like, why would you that don't
understand what you're doing, right, they would judge? Of course, yeah,
of course, and you and we can't have that in our intimate Yellowstone
roll play. Well, we scrapped Yellowstone Yellowstones out, dude, Yeah,
stick with the r D r P R R D r P. Okay,
I like it, man, You guys look, I want to see you
manifest this into real life. I really I want to. Basically we post
on Instagram we have cowboy hats? Yeah? Do we have cowboy hats in
the building right now? We do? Actually, Christmas, hang on,
because we might could do we might could go ahead and act this out.
We can actually we should You want to act this out? Yeah, you're
gonna have to dig up in there in the prop Ben prop Honestly, dude,
what better episode to to try something like this out? Nobody's watching this?
Well, this is this Nobody is watching this. No, they're watching
then, and this, this is a taste of what is to come.
This is a taste of all get on the green boys. Uh well,
have we announced that? No, and we don't have to. I'm just
saying it's a taste of what's to come. Right by taste taste, let
them, let them, let them give more to the imagination. Okay,
you am I Is there a part for me to play in this or No?
I'm not invited because I don't respect the intimacy. No, you're invited
to this one. I'm the voyeur' the what I'm sorry, I meant to
say viewer, not voyeur. That I don't know what you're talking about there,
man, Yeah, I know, I'm just talking about viewing. Okay,
Okay, bear with us for a second, folks, we're suiting up.
You know this is all for you. Let's just remember this is all
for our lovely viewers. Okay, let me give you guys a setting.
Let me give you guys a little intro. Here. Here we go,
quiet, quiet, quiet on the set. Okay, here we go.
Welcome back, y'all. The day was cold, the night was colder,
and two lone cowboys found each other on one another's path. Could they find
refuge within one another? Let's tune in and find that Pardner. We come
in on our two cowboys, Jackie and Jimmy, passing passing one another on
a crossroads. Jimmy found I found wait, wait, accidentally we have Oh
okay, I found this dazzling crystal that reminds me of the gleam in your
eyes. Why, thank you, Jackie. That's a nice looking crystal right
there. It's nice and thick and round. That looked really nice in my
saddle bag. Here. What do you say? What do you say?
We tie up and hog tie rob this motherfucker. I think that's a great
idea, Jackie. That's taken for all his pennies. You're gonna find that
hard. You thought it was like that. We're actually hard cowboys, bro,
You're hardest. We're hard as nail. You guys are so hard and
intimate guys. You guys are hard as nails and intimate. We're hard as
nails, bro. That's that's is that as far as it goes, I
think that's the and then we rolled into the bank and got shot. And
at the end of the story, that's the legacy of Jackie and Jimmy.
That ballad, the Ballad of Jackie and Jimmy. Wow, honestly, fucking
bravo boys. Yeah that that that took a lot out of me. Thank
you. That took a lot out of me. Yeah. Let's keep the
hats on though, Okay, yeah, sure, keep the hats the shamanic
art of act. No, Alex, put your hat back on, buddy,
Come on, you gotta be you gotta embody. Wait. So I
gathered from that that he is he's Jimmy Jimmy. Yeah, he claimed it.
I'm Jackie, He's Jimmy, You're Jackie, I'm the I'm the ever
present Voyeur. Well, oh no, dude, you're you're you're the voice.
That's my name broke Backy, he wrote, Backy the Cowboy. Yeah,
wow, dude, he said, that's terrible. That's terrible. Okay,
now you just made it really difficult to like get into a serious conversation.
But you know what, I'm glad that it happened. Let's have a
Let's have a real serious conversation with these hats on. Okay, that's my
favorite thing to do is wear funny hats during serious situations. Yeah, because
well, no, just just during life, because I feel like, hang
on, I'm noticing a little Southern drawl coming out of you wearing the hat,
he says, just during live. Yeah, I love wearing a funny
hat because it makes me think of like the Gardenome or the village Wizard or
you know. It's just kind of like cuts through the bs and just establishes
you right there as being in a different plane from anyone else. I feel
that it sends a message. It does. It sends a message. It's
kind of like when you're in the ancient city of Venice and they're throwing a
massacre. Okay, okay, continue, Sorry, sorry, wait, but
what do they do and you get to be your true self because no one
knows who's who. You're talking like that too. What's happening right now?
The two of you are literally like becoming cowboys in front of my eyes.
Hey, I'll always be in one partner, all right, Okay, you're
a surfing cowboy. Hang ten, brother, and we have a whole surfing
thing going on that you. Hey, it's weird that you brought up Venice.
Though. That's kind of a synchronicity because like two nights ago, Casey
and I were watching One Piece and we just got to uh because I went
back and I'm watching it with her. I'm currently in dress Rosa, but
I'm watching with Casey right now. Water seven. She just started Water seven
And if you guys have seen it out there, Water seven, the actual
island is based on Venice. It's based on Venice, Italy. Like it's
all the water canals and the waterfalls and all that, like it's they be
honest with you. Yeah, in my humble opinion of being there one time,
you went overrated. Okay please, Actually I'm curious because this is what
happened. We're watching and I told Casey, I was like, this is
based off of Venice, Italy, and she was like, hang on,
She's I'm not kidding. She said this. She said, Venice is a
real place. No way, I swear. She said, Venice is real.
You don't have to do Casey like that on air. Dude, is
facts. I'm sorry, I love you, baby, but she's straight up
and said, I don't think that Venice is a real place. And then
I looked it up and I found did you know that Venice was built in
like the four hundreds? Well, I'll tell you, yeah, wailed.
So people are concerned about Venice's foundation. But Venice's foundation is built out of
wood, and so all of the buildings and the streets and everything underneath,
all of that is like ancient wood. And what's crazy is when the wood
and the salt from the salt water combined, it like fortifies and makes the
wood strong. Whoa yeah, So anyway, wait a minute, floods.
You're telling me, I'm telling you what the guide told me. Okay,
don't come at me. Okay, I'm just learning. I wouldn't want to
learn. No, I'm open to questions. I'll concuse a question. All
right, So let me tell you a Venice story. I think Green Boys
is gonna be great. So all right, so we pull up the Venice,
We get off the train, and we have okay, set the scene,
me, my now fiance, her mother, and her father. So
we're all there. We're gonna be there for like two weeks. We got
a ton of luggage. Okay, We've got to find where our hotel is
and we get off the train and immediately we're getting haggled, like attacked,
like let me take your luggage, let me put you in my gondola,
like and blah blah blah, fifty dollars, one hundred dollars whatever, And
the guy would not get out of my father in law's face. And he's
like, dude, we just got off the train, give me a minute.
And the guy kept pressing them. So my father in law was like,
all right, fuck you. And we're carrying all of our luggage,
and what he meant was Alex is carrying all over So all these canals and
stuff, there's bridges, and the bridges go up over and down, and
it's not like it's not like a long, slow bridge, it's like vertical
up then vertical down stairs. Okay, So I've got everybody's suitcase and it's
ninety eight degrees a humid. So we get off the train and we're two
miles from our place and like fourteen fifteen bridges. What time of year was
this? This summer? Okay, So yeah, I'm carrying all of these
suitcases up and down, not complaining, up and down, up and down,
complaining. I'm drenched in sweat. Everybody's taking their time for somehow,
I'm walking fast than everybody else, and I'm like, dude, like where's
this hotel? So up and down, up and down, up and down,
pouring sweat. We get to the thing, We get to the hotel,
we get checked in, get up to our room. No power they
do like cycling power outages. So I had no air conditioning. A lot
of Europe's like that too. Yeah, so first of all, you taste
in my mouth, then go downstairs, have a couple of beers in the
air conditioning. We're back to normal. So other than that, I just
had a couple of bad entrees. Why you say like that, dude?
Like what what do you eat? Like the squid ink and polenta? It's
it's like black squid ink? Right, and like a rice cake wasn't No,
it wasn't the best. And I'm not gonna hate on anybody. Okay,
Now this is something I really need to know. Does it actually stink
venice? Yeah? In general, notoriously is supposed to smell awful. I
mean I don't he does. I'm sure it smells bad. I don't remember
being like, right, did you take any of Like I'm also gross.
Did you take any of like the gondola rides or anything? Uh? Yeah,
actually did take one. That's cool too. What I learned about gondola
pilots, captains, whatever is You can't you can't just like show up and
be like I want to be a gondola driver. You have to be born
into it. Literally, it is only a certain lineage that is allowed to
pilot gondolas. Huh so you were basically born your dad does it, and
then you're trained how to do it from like age twelve or thirteen and then
off you go. That's wild, bro. Yeah, that's kind of really
like special. Which is interesting because the Italy is famous for their glass exports,
so they have like very decorative class work. I thought they were famous
for The Godfather. I mean that too. Yeah, that's the Yeah,
that's the second and third highest export for the glass work. And they're having
a lot of trouble because no young people want to learn glass work, so
it's a dying market. It's a dying breed. They can't find young people
who want to come and be apprenticed glass workers. So we sat there this
whole thing, and then they tried to sell us like fifteen thousand dollars chandeliers
and shit, oh we'll ship been home with shippen home. Like yeah,
I mean, if I had a place to put a fifteen thousand dollars chandelier,
I'd probably get it, but I don't so bro. When you get
off the plane in Mexico, no one warned us of this. Of all
the people that recommended we go vacation at this specific place, no one warned
us that the moment you touch down on land and you get off the plane,
they pressure you into going to presentations for time shares. Oh no,
yeah, and I got scammed out of fifty bucks. No, dude.
It was like it was like, you know, fourteen hours of flight,
you're exhausted. You get there, you're like, yeah, I'm finally in
Mexico. They have like trays of tequila and they're like softening you up,
giving you like little shots of margaritas and jack, and they're so friendly and
they go through like yes, jimmy, oh my god, what do you
say we wrangle up these stallions and go get your fifty dollars back below the
border. It's a lot of money. I think that sounds mighty fine as
long as I could ride behind and stare at your hair in the wind.
You drive a hard bargain, Jackie. The curls make it all worth it.
Sorry to cut you off. Do you use that shampoo? That that
shampoo because it's just been invented. Yeah, right, it's just been invented.
I don't use any of that new family stuff. What do you wash
your hair with? Then? Grease? Horse? Grease a horse, grease
and manure. I was outside tending my carrots the other day and I sitting
on a dinosaur bone. Because we're in the West, right. Of course,
dinosaurs ain't real. Could you imagine someone like dinosaurs weren't real? I
ain't no dinosaurs in the Bible. They ain't nothing. I wonder if cowboys
had the Bible. I'm sure they did. They had the Cowboy. Yeah,
they they definitely had the Bible. I'm sure they had the Bible.
I never have thought about that, like the cowboys have the Bible. You
know, I cannot keep this thing on the Bible. I think they definitely
had the Bible. That's actually a revolutionary thought process. I've never considered it.
You don't see it in the games. You don't see it in the
movies. You definitely see it in the movies. I don't really watch.
I've seen a lot of them. I've seen a lot of them. Shout
out to my grandpa ever since I was little. He'll be like, come
over, we're watching Western movies, and like, I've done it as recently
as maybe well before. It would have been before COVID, because you know,
he he has an he has an autoimmune disorder, and so he can't
he can't be around people too much. Especially when that was going on,
he was like, everybody stay away from me, you know. Uh.
But I mean right before then, I had I went over there and we
watched three Tender Yuma. I've heard of it, never seen it. It's
fantastic. I mean it's awesome. There was a really old one, and
then we watched the newer one too. We've always yeah, he's always been
my Western buddy. Yeah, Nick, you asked me how we are doing.
I want to know how you're doing. I'm doing all right, I'm
doing well. I kind of I wanted to hear from y'all first, but
that's okay. I'll tell you. I'll go first. I'll tell you tell
me. I'm not feeling good. You're no okay? Why I'm a bit
under the weather, but I just got back from Maryland. You're feeling sick.
I'm feeling a little sick. But it's okay. I'm here, and
uh, I don't like Maryland too much. Wow, it's just cold man.
Oh was it brick? Yeah? I didn't go outside much. It's
probably why I was still not feeling good. Oh dude, that sucks,
but it's okay. I got some cool things done. I went to school
and stuff. But if you live in Maryland and you like it, that's
cool. Yeah, Alex just went to boating school, dude. Yeah,
missus puff man, you's looking good. You got miss Puff's number. Let's
just say I puffed it. If only you know, people would literally kill
people would sell their soul for a chance to rise up. Missus Puff,
that's really honestly true. And well I did it. You did it.
You did it. I need picks, I need proof you did her up.
Damn. I mean, if anybody could do it right, you would
be the one for sure. If anybody could do this to you, What
about your like emotional spiritual state, how has that been lately? I don't
know, really, I mean I've been doing good, like feeling good.
Haven't really been paying a lot of attention to that, just kind of been
duck down, just just going hard, Yeah, grinding through life, not
in like a bad way, just like things gotta get done, you know,
really just wishing I was a cowboy and you know, but you decided
to read this book that our only goddess. I am too. I'm actually
really pumped to read this and this is gonna be the next thing I read.
I'm I'm currently rereading Rick Rubin's book The The Creative Act, A Way
of Life, and it's a quick read. So when I'm done with that,
I'm gonna read this. It's be lit about you, Ryan. I've
been pretty good. I mean, it's just like you know, same old,
same old. And there's been stuff that it's always getting more and more
intense. There's there's stuff behind the scenes that we've been working on the family.
Stuff that's a little too soon to talk about. But that stuff is
really well otherwise generally, I mean, can't really complain. Just been trying
to focus on like my health and like my wellness and things like that,
and just trying to keep like a positive attitude and sometimes it's easier than other
times, just like with stressful stuff going on and a lot of really cool
stuff's happening, you know, Like Dad just went on this huge podcast Jones.
Yeah, and it's it's already got like I mean, I can see
what it's got, but it's it's it's a lot. I mean, it's
Yeah, we look last night and it was like six hundred thousand or something,
which is which is huge. I mean, I think that's got to
be the biggest podcast numbers as far as him being on somebody else's podcast.
It's a six hundred and fifteen thousand. And then Danny personally told me that
the podcast app was at when I saw him over a week. It was
almost two weeks ago. I saw him week and a half. It was
at seventy or eighty. So we're looking at close to close to seven hundred
thousand views. Yeah, that's that one episode Dad did, and like we've
seen a big difference from it, you know, And that's exciting. It's
always exciting when that kind of stuff happens, When when we get these big
surges and these big spikes and we get to get the story out there and
let's just say that like, we're working behind the scenes really hard to get
it out there even more so. And for anybody out there who's curious about
something we may be working on, just go to Amazon dot com and take
a look at the cover of Dad's book and you might see there's a change
to the cover. So that's facts. Yep, that's an interesting change to
the cover. How about you. I've been feeling all right. I don't
know. I just the reason I asked is because the past I feel like
the past few weeks, like all of my friends are stressed. Yeah,
like you know what I mean. Like I think it's just that holiday counch
time. It might be. I mean, it's gonna sound funny, but
mercury is in retrograde. Yeah, that doesn't sound funny, though it is.
I mean it is. And and particularly lately, people have been like
super stressed out. I have. I definitely have. I don't know.
I feel like the past like month or two for me, has just been
stressful. It's it's dealing with like the day to day stuff. Yeah,
you know what I mean, just like trying to Like we come to Wilmington
and it's always like the vibe is on ten. We have so much fun.
We're around our people where you know, we get to do this show,
which is like so amazing. I feel like this show really like does
like revitalize my spirit just doing it, you know, yeah, for whatever
reason it is, I just I love it and it's amazing. And then
getting back home and you know, just getting back to the mundane day to
day stuff. It's it's just tough, like just trying to like survive.
I feel like I don't know, I'm I'm currently and I'm very I'm very
thankful to to Blake. He's actually helping me try to find a new job
right now. It's a it's a lot of that kind of stuff, like
I feel like I don't know, I feel like a lot of my previous
jobs, I'll get them, and then after like a year and a half
two years, I'm like, a, I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm done with it, and I'll just hop to another thing. And
it's like the money is never grey, and that's just like perpetuates the stress
because when you like can't meet your bare minimums, it's like, you know,
I could be I could be ten out of ten mood and super happy
and then whatever, and then I get a notification that my bank is overdrafted,
and I'm like, my entire world comes crumbling down. Yeah, you
know what I'm saying. It's it's like little things like that, and I
think I'm just finally realizing that I have to, like, in order for
my inner self to be able to be uninterruptedly like positive and charged and flow
naturally, my physical body has to step up and take care of like meeting
my minimums and meeting my needs. And like, you know, I don't
know, I feel like a lot of times my head is up in the
clouds. I'm not thinking about the world like around me. I'm thinking about
I'm thinking about that. That's a good point, crazy, spiritual, cosmic,
you know stuff. I want to add to that because I've struggled really
bad, just generally for the last year two years we've been on the podcast,
and we've known collectively that this is what we want to do, like
you know, forever, and the stress there that we have have you know,
internalized, is like, how can we get this off the ground to
be a successful stream of financial abundance so that we can do this and live
in our dream and and you know, It's like we do this because we
want to help people. We want to entertain people in rich people's lives,
but really teach them, you know, really really cool stuff and really out
there spiritual stuff that they're not finding anywhere else. Let's just be honest,
you know, with with what we've been through and all that. But my
point is like I've struggled really bad with like how do we do that the
right way, the pure way, the humble way, you know. And
for a while, I mean I felt like, man, we don't deserve
money. Yeah, but I've come to realize, like I think every human
being on the planet deserves money, and I think like from the perspective of
higher forces, like you know, we're so conditioned to to live in a
state of scarcity or in a state of lack. But I feel like I
feel like you can't truly be happy or thriving or joyful until those basic needs
are fulfilled, you know what I mean. And like this, yeah,
I get exactly what you're saying, Like the stress of giving our all to
this but then having to suffer to do the mundane stuff to actually pay the
material bills exactly, well, why couldn't we do this and it provides some
source of you know, sustenance for us, and we have more to give,
and and then and then it's like in the meantime, because we've been
doing this almost three years now, Yeah, in the meantime, the whole
that whole three years, my mentality has basically just been like I don't care
about money, money stupid, I don't need it. It's like everything I'm
reading is all about like anti materialistic, like let everything go and all this
stuff. So in my mind, I'm like, who needs money, That's
lame. Whatever. I'm just gonna go keep doing the podcast, keep doing
the podcast, and I know that eventually, like that's gonna be the thing
that takes care of me, which I still know that it will. But
now that we're three years in and I'm like still stressed out of my mind,
I'm having this internal battle now of like I need money. It's the
system we're in, it's the world we're born into. It is yeah,
you have to it. Just Yeah, It's been this internal battle thing where
I'm like, should I be like chasing more money? Should I should I
go and chase more money or should I just be happy with what I have?
And like, you know, just make it through until the universe brings
something to me, you know, or whatever. But specifically, over this
past week or two, I've been thinking about it a lot, and I
think, yeah, I think this is like a kind of like a test
where my physical body needs to intervene in order to help nurture because, like
I said, every time one little slip up happens, which happens a lot
when you don't have a lot of money, anytime one little slip up happens,
it's like my whole spiritual world everything crumbles down. Yeah, And I'll
even say, you know, over three years of this happening, it's a
lot of build up. It's like every time it happens, it feels a
little worse, and it feels a little worse up to the point to where
these past like maybe three to six months, like I've just had a really
hard time, like believing in myself. I've even had a hard time like
believing in any sort of higher power. And I have this like I've had
to fight like every day battling like dark internal thoughts and dark internal dialogue.
Because when you're in these like dark states, your psyche can want to just
like attack everything around you, Yeah, to make you feel better, you
know what I mean. And I hate being in that state because it's completely
unproductive. It's all lies, that's just your internal like whatever you want to
call it, your dark side, whatever you want to call it, it's
it's just bullshit. It's trying to distract you, it's trying to misguide your
anger and your feelings. And so after all this time, it's like I've
been really struggling with that. And then another thing is like the you know,
growing up like religiously traumatized, which I feel like I was and kind
of still I'm realizing when you're in that really really low place and you like
need somebody or something to turn to, and the only thing that you have
known your whole life is you know, one specific iteration or image of quote
unquote God, and like that version is not necessarily something that like feels good
to you. I mean, we we've talked about it many times on the
show. It's like some weird, some weird stuff going on with that.
It makes it difficult to believe in, not believe in, but to connect
with. Yes, I know, I know exactly what you're describing. Yeah,
And like you know, that's also been hard not not having that to
connect with. I get that way too. I think it's natural. It's
like when you're when you're suffering really hard, it's it's kind of hard to
you know, see the positivity or the hope too. But like, the
only thing I can say is, like, you know this logically, just
like you were telling me last night about the drum thing. You know,
we were talking about recording, and I've hit a hurdle or whatever, and
it's the same thing. It's a test from the universe. It's like,
is it going to be one of those things where you are beaten by it
or you you know, you rise up and overcome. But I think it's
deeper than that too. I don't think the burden is necessarily on you to
like to I don't know, Like I guess the way I could say it
is it's also about surrendering, like just just completely letting go and realizing,
like, really, everything that's happening to me is divinely written to happen to
me, for me to suffer in this moment, because on the other side
is going to be something greater, you know what I mean? For sure?
Yeah, And that's it's I just started reading that book again a few
days ago, and that's like one of the first things that it talks about,
the Rick rubn m oh, it's one of the first things that talks
about that, Like you just have to constantly remind yourself that like everything happens
for an exact reason. Yeah, you're exactly where you're supposed to be,
even the bad stuff, even the bad stuff, because it's a lesson.
It's some sort of lesson. And do you think it feels good to the
earth when tectonic plates are shifting crumbling into each other, and you know,
you have quakes under that. I mean sometimes in nature things are just uncomfortable.
Yeah, what I mean. And that's that's the same with life.
And then it creates beautiful mountains. True. Yeah, that's a that's a
really cool analogy, erosion. Bro, you have mountains that are being shaped
by beautiful thousands of years. It's just it's like it's there's an order to
things that we don't understand. And that's the thing that was hard for me
that I wanted to share. The thing that was hard for me was to
accept like sometimes it just has it has to be bad sometimes it's just the
way that it is. What's the nature of the universe. There, there
cannot exist good without bad, there can't. It would just everything would just
be gray. That's that's the whole point of this whole you know, this
whole thing that we're doing. It's like there, if you don't have bad,
you can't have good. And I will say, like specifically, this
past week, I have really been putting in like the work to try to
break a lot of these negative thought patterns, and I've been moving in a
more positive direction. And also like I'm trying to you know, I'm trying
to remember that just because the bearded guy from the Bible, like the bearded
God from the Bible, did a real number on me, that doesn't that
that's not the real See, it wasn't the bearded guy. It was the
suited guy. No, of course, that's what I mean. It's it's
the people. The people made that evil Constantine, that guy on that coin
that Alex had, that motherfucker, that motherfucker started a lot of it and
he changed the ship and and you know, and so the picture that they
created of that bearded guy is not that's not like the actual God that I
believe in. It's dude, I saw this. Pete Holmes, he was
talking about God the other day and he said, like, God is the
blanket that we put over the mystery of the universe to give it shape.
Hmm. Yeah that wait till we do the Kabale episode and you'll hear how
like even they were talking about God. Yeah, I can't, I can't.
I can't. Like that's a very that's God is ineffable. God.
God is the mystery, right, you know what I mean, Like it's
it's it's this perfect, pure thing that we just can't grasp. And that's
what I mean when I say surrender, Like we just have to surrender and
let go and say, Okay, whatever force is, that's that's really up
there. It is good. It knows what I need. I probably had
a part in picking this when I was a part of that force, you
know, in the realm between lives, you know, your higher self or
whatever, if you believe that, and whatever is happening to me is my
destiny that I created with that force, and I just have to weather the
storm. It's like you're selling across the seat. You just you know your
weather in the waves, like it's the journey. Yeah. You know,
another thing that I've been wondering about is, you know, as I've come
to think of God as more the collective energy of all things, removing,
I stop using the word God because I thought like that word describes a singular
like entity. I used to think that too, you know what I'm saying.
So I stopped even using the word God entirely and just kind of thought
about it as the collective consciousness or the collective universe, like all of us,
every living thing is God, you know, that kind of thing.
But I wasn't using that God language, and I wonder if the disconnect was
exacerbated by not using that term. It's because it's like when you give it
something a name, you give it power. Not having a name to something
you it's harder to connect with it exactly. So I wonder if you know,
so, since then, I've been like reintroducing that word and trying to
separate the trauma that I have from that word. You know, you'll notice
even Hindus say the word God lots of cultures around the world. Yeah,
they say the word God to me. To me, God is the ineffable
highest force that's above all above the Bible, above Krishna, above Buddha,
above Jesus. It's a force that no human has ever physically been face to
face with because it's impossible, right, yes, and it created us.
It's way far beyond our understanding. And for the last you know, several
millennia, we've just been trying really hard to figure it out. You take
it out, Yeah, and we never will until we die and we pass
on through the veil, we'll ever truly know. But what we do know
is that it is good. We come from it. It created us,
and life is this great allegory or mystery. Dude, Like, let me,
let me just give you one quote from from the Kabala Apisod, which
we're gonna do next, you know, but check this out. Here's here's
part of the doctrine of Kabbala. Keep in mind Kabala. I'm not gonna
get too deep into it because we're going to do an entire episode, but
Cabala is crazy. I used to think, like, you know, when
you first hear about esotericism, you know, coming from a Christian perspective,
you think it's all evil rights. It's like step one, it's step one.
We talk about that all the time, and I was there was no
exception, Like I thought Kabbala was an evil thinking back then, the more
I read it, I'm like, wow, this is some of the most
profound stuff I've ever read. And like, part of the essential doctrine of
Kabala is the entire purpose of creation the manifested world is to just make an
abode for the Divine in the material world. Like the whole point of life
is to become an abode or a vessel for the Divine. That's the collective
conscious, that's all of us little sparks of God. But yeah, yeah,
it's it's like it's like becoming the illumined spark. Yeah, Like I
believe that. I believe that, like we are, we are God giving
it self bodies to experience everything. Right, I believe that, like I
really do. That's crazy. So I mean, okay, we got to
save it for the Yeah, we have to. But yeah, that's that's
that's my point too. It's like I totally understand man, Like I feel
that way a lot too. I just don't talk about it. Yeah.
Yeah, And and I don't talk about it a ton either, because I
mean, it takes a long time for me to like reckon with my internal
dialogue anyway and be able to identify it enough to be able to vocalize it.
And so it's like, you know, I might have been feeling this
way a really long time and I'm just now coming face to face with it.
But I will say things are looking up. I'm feeling better and I'm
feeling hopeful. You know, when I get in those places, the best,
the the the counter to it is gratitude. It is gratitude. Yeah,
that Like anytime I get in that place, I just remember everything that
I'm grateful for, what a lucky life I'm living, How happy I am
to have the people around me, the things around me. How you know,
how grateful I am for this show and the people that it helps and
the community it brings together. You know, so that that has helped tremendously.
And I'm I'm I already feel I'm on a better path, and I'm
you know, I think good, really good things are coming. I do
too, like for all of us, for all of us, absolutely,
for all of us. Yeah, I feel a lot of pressure, Like
in my mind, I just if we're just speaking candid here, I mean,
you know, whatever I always feel a lot of pressure in my mind
to give the most and the best that I can to this one hundred percent,
to you know, ensure that this is successful. Because something I just
talked about recently Full Disclosure. Obviously you weren't there for that, but like
one of the biggest stresses in my mind is like, you know, you
and Alex have basically devoted your lives to helping me tell my story all the
stuff you're telling me about last night, that you're so grateful you got to
play a part in helping me heal all all this stuff. I talked about
that recently on Full Disclosure, and I was like, you know, it's
just pressure because I feel like there's a lot riding on my shoulders because of
you know, the image of the bloods of family, what we're going through,
having this pressure to say a certain thing to not you know, like
throw a wrench in our image or whatever, and like tread this fine,
careful line of you know, not only being okay with my family, but
also being okay with the public and this getting successful so that we can all
live a life from this where I in. This is something I've never really
told Nick Alex, but in my heart that I feel you guys are fairly
rewarded or compensated or whatever for the simple notion of devoting your lives to helping
me tell my story. You see what I'm saying. I've never said that
before, haven't. I mean? Yeah, but that that's a stress that
I constantly have felt. Well, let let me let me offer you a
counter to that. I I can't speak for Alex, but I know it's
this. I know it's the same for him. And I told you this
last night I started. I chose to be involved in this project for one
reason and one reason alone, and that was you're my best friend. Your
family, they're all my best friends, like you're you know, we're like
family. And there was healing that needed to be happy, that that needed
to happen, and that could only happen by being open and candid and telling
your story to as many people as possible to get it out there. Stop
bottling it up, just get it out there. You know, it's always
been like, is there going to be a book, is there going to
be a movie, is there going to be a show? Who knows?
Whatever? We were like, finally, let's just take it into our own
hands do a podcast and it's been three years, dude, and look at
us now, yeah, look at your It actually has been three We started
December three years ago to look at you and your family now and in what
a better place you guys are in now? And I think the podcast had
a ton to do with that. Yeah, and so it did. So
you should pop the bubble of stress in your mind because dude, we're we
already did it. Yeah, we already accomplished the mission. That doesn't mean
we're done that that like we now as a new mission. Yes, and
it's take all of our energy into you know, as opposed to you know,
being about me healing or whatever whatever. It's about enriching the lives of
everyone listening. Yes, yes, you know exactly exactly. But the initial
mission was to do that, you know. I'm we wanted to bring healing
for you and your family and we did it. Yeah, we did it.
That was our mission. I know Alex is that he signed on for
the same reason we did it, dude, and we are still doing it
and we're going to keep doing it. So like everything else that comes,
it's just icing on the cake. That's not that shouldn't be a point of
stress that should not be a point of stress like you worrying about if we're
going to be taken care of from We devoted all of our time and energy
to this, not for money. We did it for you. I know
that. I know that. I'm just saying me. I'm like, you
know, I just have this this mind that's like want to make sure everybody's
taken care of. We're taking you know, like like like for life.
That's all I'm saying, Like, like we we get into a position to
where we we that this you know, this is all do this. This
is yeah, like we can do this together. I mean, we're gonna
get there. Life feels like it's being lived when we're doing this absolutely,
you know what I mean, that's a great way to put it. It's
we're gonna get there in no time to We'll be there before we know it.
And I want to say, you know, for the listener, this
is just a cannon conversation. This isn't anything that we plan to talk about.
We've actually never had that specific conversation ever. That's the first time I've
ever brought that that specific thought up. And I want to say, like
for anybody out there, listening. I'm not here on a soapbox trying to
get you know, like spend money or you know, to to to to
force you to feel like you got to contribute. I mean, honestly,
what we need is we need listenership. Yeah, that's more support. We
need listener that that's really what we need. We create merchandise, We create
Patreon because the idea is, well, if we're going to take any money
from anybody, we at least want to put like passion into it, and
it'd be something that we feel has a very sturdy value. And it's like
we wear our own merch we love it. No donations. We want to
create value exactly. Yeah, we want we want to create value. I
mean what we need is listenership. Really, the big pie in the sky
that would help us take off is just it's just more listeners that that's it.
I mean, you know, we're we're eternally grateful for anybody who has
given some sort of financial amount, but I'm not, I'm not. That's
all bonus. We really don't need you to do that. If you feel
you know, if you feel moved to control, tribute or in whatever way,
thank you, that's amazing. But it's just listeners. We just we
need more listeners. And uh but I mean, yeah, it's it's it's
growing. It's it's growing as much as it ever has, and it's yeah,
honestly, we're going to be there. We're going to be there in
no time, and we're just going to keep helping as many people as we
possibly can for as long as we can do it. Yeah. I have
no clue the dms we get, like the people that listen to this show
and just like how moved they are, and you know, like sending us
books and in crystals. I mean, this isn't often. I don't think
many people know we have a po box, right, which we do.
You can find on our website. But you just have no clue and like,
what the energy behind this thing? And I think sometimes we lose sight
of that. Oh yeah, I think because we get in here and it's
it's so routine and then we get back to our day to day lives and
the stress and all the sorry about bills from our other jobs. Dude,
when I get a DM or a comment or something from somebody telling me how
much the show has helped them, like that's just injecting me with just life
force. That's like reviving me like nothing else matters in the world. In
that moment, I'm like, oh my god, Like my dumb ass sitting
on a couch yapping into a microphone helped somebody. Right, It's unreal.
It's it's more they don't call yourself a dumb ass, but way what a
dumbass? You know? With that being said, though, with all that
being said, I do think that I owe it to the group to mention
this that we do have a pretty sick shirt about it. Come out pretty
sick shirt. But I think I think it's reasonable to say this. This
is a very soft announcement. This is not official. It's very soft.
It's something we're working on. But we've had a lot of things that we've
been working on in the last few months. We do have some adjustments coming
to our Patreon in the new year TBD, So the Green Boys have been
working. Yes. Also, I just looked this is the last episode of
twenty twenty three, oh for real, And we wore the cram. We
wore their Christmas out. Yeah, Jenny wanted us to wear the twenty seven.
This was not planned last night. The night was planned at all.
I just walked into the closet. No, bro. Jenny literally like yesterday
the day before told me before y'all all got here. I think it was
yesterday early in the day. She was like, oh my god, you
guys need to think about what episode's going to come out around Christmas before the
New Year. You need to wear the hats. And I was like,
nah, it just happened. Wow, that's amazing. So happy New Year,
Oh, Merry Christmas, Happy holidays. Yeah, this is literally two
days after Christmas. We love y'all very much and we'll see you in twenty
twenty four. We check us out on blosoesid so dot com. We do
have the Patreon, you know again, it's like I know, I said
what we need as listeners, but at the end of the day, like
if if, if you're the kind of person who wants to support content creators,
I do think we have pretty good Patreon. We have super super high
value. It's literally one tier five dollars and you get so much you get
to show you to discord, like I said, d yeah, for now,
for now, we have some adjustments coming. We did. I don't
think we've recorded since doing all the news we did just drop a whole new
line of merch. Yeah, really really cool stuff and the new shirt coming
and otherwise I think that's it for the year. Yep, you know what
it is. Three two one, Bye go cowboy. Role play your next
year. Okay, weird things happened in the backyard of les House. Sit
so weird, coming closer to like smirreing on inside. No one knows that.
Wow, let's come for I've ever talked Sid not yet getting happy