WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:15.240 M h, Hello, creep, it's me John can Fear, the voice 2 00:00:15.240 --> 00:01:07.760 of the crypt Keeper and you're listening to Chronicle from the Crypt. Hello, 3 00:01:07.079 --> 00:01:15.920 kiddies, it's me Casualty Chris. Yeah, he's corpsing over there real hard. 4 00:01:15.120 --> 00:01:19.799 I'm trying not to laugh. I was unprepared for the crypt Keeper voice. 5 00:01:19.159 --> 00:01:23.040 I know it's okay. It's not as good as John Cassire, but 6 00:01:23.159 --> 00:01:26.159 then again, as long as he's not doing a Jamaican accent, what is 7 00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:30.680 true. We are the host of Chronicles from the Crypt to twice a month 8 00:01:30.680 --> 00:01:34.640 look at the horror anthology series Tales from the Crypt that aired on HBO from 9 00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:38.760 nineteen eighty nine to nineteen ninety six. Now, in each of our podcast 10 00:01:38.840 --> 00:01:42.920 we do two episodes of the television series Tales from the Crypt, and along 11 00:01:42.920 --> 00:01:48.799 the way, in between seasons we do tales related to Phemera And we've got 12 00:01:49.079 --> 00:01:53.519 one coming up after this and that'll be it's for bonus episodes. And as 13 00:01:53.560 --> 00:01:59.719 for season six is the end. Like Father Malone said, we normally do 14 00:01:59.799 --> 00:02:02.959 two episodes, but because we didn't want to just do one episode on one 15 00:02:04.079 --> 00:02:07.520 episode, we're doing three episodes. So we're rounding out season six with a 16 00:02:07.560 --> 00:02:13.479 look at episode thirteen, fourteen and fifteen, Comes the Dawn, and we'll 17 00:02:13.520 --> 00:02:19.280 get to that fucking title nine and another title. God the titles these first 18 00:02:19.280 --> 00:02:23.960 two titles, the second one is a fucking trash can atrocious ninety nine and 19 00:02:24.120 --> 00:02:32.199 forty four pure horror, and you Murderer. Oh hello, Creets, it's 20 00:02:32.240 --> 00:02:38.960 your old pal, the big Scahouna enjoying a little surf and sand. Hey, 21 00:02:39.039 --> 00:02:46.960 babe, want me to rub a little suntan lution on you? Boy? 22 00:02:47.039 --> 00:02:52.439 Do I love the beach? Hey? Hey, hey, you watch 23 00:02:52.479 --> 00:02:58.719 it? Good boy? I hate getting sand kicked in my face. I'm 24 00:02:58.719 --> 00:03:02.080 not your average ninety pound weakling, you know. But one thing, I 25 00:03:02.159 --> 00:03:07.280 don't wait that much. I tell you, kiddies, I'm going to get 26 00:03:07.319 --> 00:03:12.439 that guy, which brings to mind the two men in Tonight's a Tale. 27 00:03:13.280 --> 00:03:17.919 They're on a little shriek and destroy mission of their own in a nasty undertaking 28 00:03:19.520 --> 00:03:24.039 icle. Comes the Dawn. So, if you're asking yourself, comes the 29 00:03:24.120 --> 00:03:28.560 Dawn? Isn't there an episode of the show called Came the Dawn? Yes? 30 00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:35.439 There is? Um, I don't get it. Um before we talk 31 00:03:35.479 --> 00:03:39.960 about comes it on? Do you understand why there's an episode of the same 32 00:03:40.039 --> 00:03:44.560 name. Came the Dawn was last season? Yeah, well, I suspect 33 00:03:44.639 --> 00:03:47.120 that was that Brookshield episode. I think yeah, oh yeah, yeah, 34 00:03:47.159 --> 00:03:51.800 it certainly was with the Cabin. Oh yeah, where the guys you know 35 00:03:51.800 --> 00:03:55.560 where it's it's the JK Rolling Fever Dream where it's a trans man killing transwoman 36 00:03:55.639 --> 00:04:00.120 killing people. Right, great, what a good one. I suspect to 37 00:04:00.240 --> 00:04:02.560 that. Well. With each of the episodes, and like, no matter 38 00:04:02.599 --> 00:04:06.639 how much they go afield as far as the plot or characters go, they 39 00:04:06.759 --> 00:04:11.039 always retain the title except one time. I guess Revenge is the Nuts, 40 00:04:11.039 --> 00:04:15.240 which was anyway anyway, I'm diagrassing, So I'm assuming because there were so 41 00:04:15.280 --> 00:04:18.120 many titles at EC that came the Dawn was from I think, came the 42 00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:21.879 Domas from Shock Suspense Stories, and comes the Donas from Haunt of Fear. 43 00:04:21.959 --> 00:04:28.959 So they when they were writing them assumed people were getting different issues of different 44 00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:31.120 comics, so it wasn't that big an issue. But it kind of becomes 45 00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:34.839 an issue when you have a straight ahead television series and you kind of keep 46 00:04:34.920 --> 00:04:40.120 naming episodes effectively the same thing, and you know, come on, Eileen 47 00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:46.560 was already taken. So but ump bump that was a thing. So this 48 00:04:46.600 --> 00:04:53.560 episode is directed by John Hertzfeld. It is written by Scott Nimmerfro again he 49 00:04:53.560 --> 00:05:00.279 wrote eleven episodes of the show. Um, he's the MVP. He is, 50 00:05:00.839 --> 00:05:03.680 he has shown up more than anyone else. Yeah, I'm not sure 51 00:05:03.720 --> 00:05:08.839 I would go as far as to say MVP. And this episode has Michael 52 00:05:08.839 --> 00:05:13.160 Ironside in it and Susan Tyrrell, who if you're a fan of Oingo Boengo 53 00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:15.959 like I am, like Father Malone is, you'll recognize her from Oingo Bongos 54 00:05:15.959 --> 00:05:23.319 The Forbidden Zone And it's about vampires I think in Alaska, so you know, 55 00:05:23.879 --> 00:05:27.759 you know Thirty Days of Night. It's like that, but really bad. 56 00:05:28.680 --> 00:05:33.360 And also with a character whose name is Colonel Parker un ironically true, 57 00:05:34.319 --> 00:05:39.839 which is interesting. Yeah, I'm I'm sure that was a choice of Scott 58 00:05:39.879 --> 00:05:44.439 imofros the the comic book come it has to be. Yeah, that comes 59 00:05:44.439 --> 00:05:46.160 to Dawn as a comic. It is from Haunt of Fear twenty six, 60 00:05:46.279 --> 00:05:54.000 written by Auto Binder and drawn by the amazing and impressive and there are not 61 00:05:54.399 --> 00:06:00.360 enough superlatives for Jack Davis. Now here is a freely adapted story in that 62 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:06.879 what we get in. The episode is two former military guys wanting to hunt 63 00:06:08.079 --> 00:06:12.560 bears. Is it just grizzlies right, which is illegal? In the original 64 00:06:12.600 --> 00:06:17.079 comic, it is three gentlemen who have come to Alaska to find uranium. 65 00:06:17.160 --> 00:06:23.720 They are uranium prospectors and they have a guide who takes them out to this 66 00:06:23.759 --> 00:06:26.839 place. They've already flown over the area and the Geiger counter went crazy, 67 00:06:26.879 --> 00:06:29.839 so they know there's a there's a motherload of uranium and they're all going to 68 00:06:29.839 --> 00:06:32.560 be rich beyond belief. When they land. They have an Inuit guide who 69 00:06:32.600 --> 00:06:35.879 takes them there. But before they get in the dog sled to head out 70 00:06:35.920 --> 00:06:43.560 to the cabin. There is a coffin encased in ice near the landing strip 71 00:06:43.639 --> 00:06:46.560 for the for their makeshift airport, and the Inuit guide says, don't don't 72 00:06:46.600 --> 00:06:50.439 touch. Don't touch the coffin. The vampires in there. Every year it 73 00:06:50.480 --> 00:06:55.519 thaws out and it causes havoc. But we've got it frozen and we don't 74 00:06:55.519 --> 00:06:58.680 want it to get out. So they go off to the cabin and then 75 00:06:58.839 --> 00:07:00.720 one guy decides he wants to bump off the other two so he can have 76 00:07:00.759 --> 00:07:04.680 all the money for himself. He goes and releases the vampire, and then 77 00:07:04.839 --> 00:07:09.639 it chases him back to the cabin. He calls the other two out and 78 00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:12.800 says the vampire is coming, and then he runs in the cabin and closes 79 00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:15.839 the door in. The vampire kills those other two guys, and the whole 80 00:07:15.879 --> 00:07:18.879 thing is told in flashback because he's already in the cabin barricaded himself in when 81 00:07:18.879 --> 00:07:23.160 the vampires trying to get in at him, and of course he thinks, 82 00:07:23.160 --> 00:07:25.519 I just have to wait this out till dawn and then I'm a rich man, 83 00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:28.480 and just like thirty Days of Night, just like the episode we see, 84 00:07:28.759 --> 00:07:31.279 he realizes it's winter now and there's not going to be a sunrise for 85 00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:34.120 you know, a month or so. Kind of can we point out for 86 00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:41.480 a second that not remembering the sun doesn't come out in Alaska is like forgetting 87 00:07:41.480 --> 00:07:46.879 that San Francisco is on the coast. Yeah, like what fucking university. 88 00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:51.879 Of all the things in this episode that bug me, the fact that the 89 00:07:53.079 --> 00:07:59.040 entire finale of this episode is predicated on the character being so stupid he forgot 90 00:07:59.079 --> 00:08:01.360 that the sun does come up for like six months in Alaska. Yeah. 91 00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:05.160 No, with the comic, at least it's a bunch of uranium prospectors and 92 00:08:05.199 --> 00:08:09.839 effectively idiots who are you know, aimless people and have gone up there because 93 00:08:09.839 --> 00:08:15.000 they heard about it. But with the episode, we're given a he's a 94 00:08:15.040 --> 00:08:18.480 colonel or a general, and his aid is like a lieutenant, and the 95 00:08:18.680 --> 00:08:24.959 third the guide that they that they procure is also military and they would know, 96 00:08:26.480 --> 00:08:30.720 they would just know. So yeah, it doesn't. It's it's a 97 00:08:30.720 --> 00:08:33.879 payoff that is unearned because it makes the lead character really, really dumb. 98 00:08:35.159 --> 00:08:37.840 Well, I can't even tell who the main character is because at one point 99 00:08:37.879 --> 00:08:43.080 I'm assuming it's Bruce Payne playing Colonel Parker because he's the one who ends up 100 00:08:43.120 --> 00:08:48.639 being the final character to die, but it should be Michael Ironside because he's 101 00:08:48.679 --> 00:08:54.039 the one pushing the narrative along. And then ultimately it's neither of them. 102 00:08:54.039 --> 00:08:58.559 It becomes Jerry Drumbeaterer. Yeah, she is the titular vampire. Although it's 103 00:08:58.600 --> 00:09:07.000 not on the title. It's it's really disappointing to me to see an idea 104 00:09:07.080 --> 00:09:16.399 like this one again, you know, not not talking about the fact that 105 00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:22.399 the movie is essential or this episode that's touching, not touch on the fact 106 00:09:22.399 --> 00:09:26.840 that this episode essentially is Thirty Days of Night, that same concept that would 107 00:09:26.879 --> 00:09:30.200 end up being mined a lot more by Stephen Niles I believe his name is. 108 00:09:31.279 --> 00:09:33.320 It's just not a good episode, no, and well I think it's 109 00:09:33.320 --> 00:09:37.960 I think it's shot pretty well as far as the look of it, but 110 00:09:37.320 --> 00:09:45.720 it doesn't deliver the scares. Which this is a built in, uh scare 111 00:09:45.759 --> 00:09:50.519 factory. It's it's you know the thing, but with vampires in the wilderness 112 00:09:50.799 --> 00:09:56.840 and they're in a erect former military hut out in the middle of nowhere, 113 00:09:58.320 --> 00:10:03.679 like it like all the elements are there for a really good either scary or 114 00:10:03.759 --> 00:10:07.799 gory. I mean, we get some core, but as far as tension 115 00:10:07.039 --> 00:10:11.320 goes, like it's all there and it pays off not at all. And 116 00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:16.039 I gotta say, like in the comic book, at least it was like 117 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:20.000 the guy and the vampires out there like scrabbling around outside trying to force his 118 00:10:20.039 --> 00:10:24.399 way in, and that the comic worked, like I thought, that's a 119 00:10:24.399 --> 00:10:28.559 pretty tense situation, and this they eskew all that, so they can, 120 00:10:28.679 --> 00:10:33.279 you know, have this boring narrative with the you know, their military service. 121 00:10:33.279 --> 00:10:39.399 This is like directly after the Gulf War when they made this episode so 122 00:10:39.440 --> 00:10:41.600 I'm sure Scott was trying to make a comment on that or something, but 123 00:10:43.200 --> 00:10:50.279 where he takes the story is boring and it's it just doesn't I don't know. 124 00:10:50.320 --> 00:10:52.279 It's not the worst one of the season, clearly, but it certainly 125 00:10:52.399 --> 00:10:56.399 isn't the payoff that we were hoping. But yet it feels like to me, 126 00:10:56.799 --> 00:11:03.879 another entry into Scott and Froze middle of the road to bad entries in 127 00:11:03.919 --> 00:11:07.639 this show. And look, Scott nimberfro passed away, you know, unfortunately, 128 00:11:09.039 --> 00:11:13.639 And so you know, I hate to speak ill of the Dead's talents, 129 00:11:13.720 --> 00:11:16.840 but I feel like a lot of the episodes that we've seen that he's 130 00:11:16.840 --> 00:11:20.840 written have been not very good. No, I mean, at least we 131 00:11:20.840 --> 00:11:28.480 were spared the comedy because Scott tended to write the comedic episodes of Tales from 132 00:11:28.519 --> 00:11:31.840 the Crypt. This one is at least straight ahead, which is always preferable. 133 00:11:33.440 --> 00:11:35.600 And but yeah, I mean, his best writing was not done on 134 00:11:35.639 --> 00:11:39.960 this series. Like he wrote a really good episode of the television series Hannibal, 135 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:41.320 which I would recommend to people if they want to see what he can 136 00:11:41.320 --> 00:11:46.519 actually do. This one just feels of a kind with everything else we've been 137 00:11:46.559 --> 00:11:50.879 given this season. Like the idea is solid, but you know, we 138 00:11:50.279 --> 00:11:54.720 don't really care that much. Well, and then again, you have interesting 139 00:11:54.759 --> 00:12:00.399 looking creature design that is essentially just the characters from DAWNA not DNA, the 140 00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:03.840 the characters from the vampires from Dusk Till Dawn. Yeah, like, it's 141 00:12:03.879 --> 00:12:09.120 not even original. Like it's it's so wholly unoriginal that no part of it 142 00:12:09.159 --> 00:12:13.320 works in the absence of the unoriginality. You know, even if this wasn't 143 00:12:13.360 --> 00:12:18.080 an unoriginal, even if this was an original episode, nothing works anyways. 144 00:12:18.399 --> 00:12:24.960 No, because Michael Ironside's criminally wasted. I mean, he gives a typical 145 00:12:26.039 --> 00:12:31.320 Michael Ironside's performance, you know, gruff. Yeah, he's I mean, 146 00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:37.919 Michael Ironside is amazing brain a Starship Trooper see you with the potty Rick the 147 00:12:39.279 --> 00:12:41.600 like, I mean, fuck man, come on, He's been in some 148 00:12:41.639 --> 00:12:50.879 of the greatest sci fi films of all time, Scanners, Starship Troopers. 149 00:12:50.840 --> 00:12:58.200 Wow, he plays um Sam Fisher in splinter Cell. Like, whenever I 150 00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:01.559 hear Michael Ironside, I hear his voice, I think of Sam Fisher and 151 00:13:01.639 --> 00:13:05.200 splinter Cell, I think of his character in Starship Troopers. I'm never going 152 00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:09.360 to think of this and it's a fucking shame because this is for me, 153 00:13:09.480 --> 00:13:13.879 this is the biggest problem with Tales from the Crypt. You have a lot 154 00:13:13.879 --> 00:13:16.679 of really talented actors who are wasted in like every episode they're in. It 155 00:13:16.720 --> 00:13:22.960 seems like it's few and far between now with this show that actors are not 156 00:13:24.120 --> 00:13:28.399 being wasted when they come on and do a guest appearance on this show. 157 00:13:28.039 --> 00:13:31.559 I think, Yeah, I think Susan Terrell. You mentioned her at the 158 00:13:31.559 --> 00:13:33.759 top, like, I think she acquits herself nicely, she gives a perfect 159 00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:41.519 Susan Terrell performance and always good to see her whatever that whatever that means. 160 00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:46.879 Unfortunately, yeah, well you know it's Susan Terrell. Um. She gets 161 00:13:46.879 --> 00:13:50.919 shot in the first five minutes episode right up until and she's not wasted. 162 00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:52.840 That character does what she needs to do, and she does it well. 163 00:13:52.919 --> 00:13:58.639 So I'll give it that. You know, I can't recommend to the episode 164 00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:01.720 overall, but if I were too, it's because Susan Terrell is in it, 165 00:14:01.720 --> 00:14:05.960 because I just love her tiny bones she is. If if for Dawn 166 00:14:05.960 --> 00:14:11.759 of the Dead fans out there, there was a documentary Roy Frumpkey made back 167 00:14:11.799 --> 00:14:13.519 in the day, like while they were filming Gone in the day. It's 168 00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:16.320 called Document of the Dead, and Susan Terrell is the narrator and what a 169 00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:20.159 voice, man, She's she's spectacular, and you know, she tends to 170 00:14:20.159 --> 00:14:26.799 play really grimy characters and this is no exception, but like I love her 171 00:14:26.840 --> 00:14:31.039 anyway, there you go, her characters. Her characters look in this episode 172 00:14:31.200 --> 00:14:35.120 is buzzare Oh certainly with the blacked out teeth which they're supposed to be broken, 173 00:14:35.159 --> 00:14:39.320 but they didn't bother to go ahead and make dentsures or anything, so 174 00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:41.200 it just looks like the putty you would get in like a novelty shop like 175 00:14:41.679 --> 00:14:43.919 missing. I was about to say, you and I could probably do better 176 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:48.879 makeup on someone. Yeah. It does have a pretty good line though, 177 00:14:48.919 --> 00:14:52.360 which is, yeah, it does have a pretty good line, which is 178 00:14:52.399 --> 00:14:56.519 it's going to take a lot more than a lesbian vampire biker whore to ruin 179 00:14:56.639 --> 00:15:00.519 my day. That's quality. And the only reason it's a good line is 180 00:15:00.519 --> 00:15:07.080 because of how many superlatives there are in that fucking sentence. Lesbian biker vampire 181 00:15:07.159 --> 00:15:11.519 horse excuse me, lesbian vampire biker horror works for me? Yeah, boy, 182 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:16.480 Yeah, this episode un skip skip it, Let skip it skip its 183 00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:20.759 big skip big Skip. Speaking of Big Ski, let's talk about the next 184 00:15:20.840 --> 00:15:26.799 UPO. Yeah, talk about Big Skip. Let's talk about nine Terror. 185 00:15:28.480 --> 00:15:35.440 Yeah. Greetings, Hack and Field fans. I hope you're in the mood 186 00:15:35.480 --> 00:15:41.200 for a little friendly competition. It's that time of fear again, the annual 187 00:15:41.360 --> 00:15:46.159 All crypt Die Catalan. I've been working out like crazy to get ready this 188 00:15:46.240 --> 00:15:50.120 year. I'm really going for the cold, kind of like the woman in 189 00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:56.600 Tonight's tail. It's a putrid portrait of an up and coming young artist that's 190 00:15:56.639 --> 00:16:02.759 sure to leave a nasty taste on your palette. I call it ninety nine 191 00:16:02.759 --> 00:16:10.919 and forty four one pure horror. So it's directed by Rodman Flender. It's 192 00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:15.120 written by Rodman Flender. It stars Bruce Davison. Speaking of Scott and himerfro 193 00:16:15.279 --> 00:16:19.720 An x men, this episode stars Bruce Davison and Christi Conaway. Yeah it 194 00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:23.519 does. They're in it, Yes, Anna and Ricky Dean Logan is in 195 00:16:23.639 --> 00:16:30.360 it. The horror fans out there will recognize him as the character nice hearing 196 00:16:30.440 --> 00:16:34.399 from your Carlos from eight Marion elm Street, the kid who gets his ears 197 00:16:34.399 --> 00:16:38.279 blown up right? Yeah, yeah, absolutely, Yeah, he's in this 198 00:16:38.360 --> 00:16:44.200 for like two seconds. Uh, Christi Conaway plays a gold digging wife who 199 00:16:44.320 --> 00:16:48.480 kills her husband who owns a soap company, and she turns him into soap 200 00:16:48.440 --> 00:16:53.519 and then she melts. And that's literally the entire fucking episode. It is 201 00:16:53.559 --> 00:16:59.799 the fastest episode of this show I have ever seen. It gets in there, 202 00:17:00.200 --> 00:17:03.440 does what it wants, and then it gets out. What it wants 203 00:17:03.440 --> 00:17:07.920 to give us is pure direct though, and it does nothing very well. 204 00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:15.519 Now, I do want to say nine pure Terror is a mouthful, but 205 00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:18.359 I really like it. I mean, clearly it's based on the soap Bad, 206 00:17:18.559 --> 00:17:22.839 but the episode is based on a not talis from the crypt Can you 207 00:17:22.839 --> 00:17:26.400 believe it? It's based on Vault of Horror number twenty three, written by 208 00:17:26.440 --> 00:17:32.319 Al Feldstein and Bill Gaines and again drawn by the amazing Jack Davis. It's 209 00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:37.079 it's similar to what we get and that it involves a soap company and a 210 00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:41.200 murder. But the comic is about a guy who is the assistant to the 211 00:17:41.240 --> 00:17:47.119 general manager of this plant that makes soap, and the guy the boss just 212 00:17:47.480 --> 00:17:51.079 is gives him nothing but a hard time and it's always on him, and 213 00:17:51.119 --> 00:17:55.039 he realizes that if the manager is gone, he'll take his job, so 214 00:17:55.119 --> 00:17:59.279 he he kills him, chops him into pieces, throws him in the vat 215 00:18:00.119 --> 00:18:04.240 of soap. He makes an entire palette of soap of his boss and then 216 00:18:06.039 --> 00:18:07.599 gets the job, moves into his apartment. It's sold in flashback, I 217 00:18:07.640 --> 00:18:12.519 should point out, and one day goes to shower and realize that he doesn't 218 00:18:12.519 --> 00:18:15.680 have any soap, so he uses one of the bars. Now in the 219 00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:18.640 episode, they go full gore and they say that the you know, the 220 00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:26.279 the acid is melting them in this a little more interesting where it's it's the 221 00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:29.079 shower. You know, it's one of these stand up showers with the with 222 00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:33.039 the door that closes and the guys. Let's just say it for what it 223 00:18:33.119 --> 00:18:36.559 is. It's the kind of shower rich people have. Yeah, exactly. 224 00:18:36.640 --> 00:18:40.359 So he's in it and he's washing with the soap of his boss, and 225 00:18:40.599 --> 00:18:45.480 he blinds himself with it, although he not totally blind, it's just he's 226 00:18:45.599 --> 00:18:48.960 got soap in his eyes. The bar of soap drops to the ground, 227 00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:52.799 he slips on it breaks his leg. The soap covers the drain and he 228 00:18:52.920 --> 00:18:56.200 slowly drowns. It's much better than what we get here. I mean, 229 00:18:56.240 --> 00:19:00.400 I love gore, and anytime I can watch a person melt her. But 230 00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:04.960 this is much more diabolical what they came up with in the comic. I 231 00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:10.119 think I think I would have really liked the alternate version of this if they 232 00:19:10.119 --> 00:19:14.599 had gone with what the comic book had me too, like, that's that. 233 00:19:14.680 --> 00:19:17.680 I mean, we talk about come upances all the time. This one's 234 00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:22.079 pretty brutal. Like he's he's at the bottom of this shower, the water 235 00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:23.559 is slowly filling up. There's nothing he can do. He can't really move. 236 00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:30.039 So bravo Feldstein and Gaines and Jack Davis in the comic, Not so 237 00:19:30.119 --> 00:19:33.640 much in the televisual experience we received based on it. Yeah. No. 238 00:19:34.160 --> 00:19:41.319 The way that this episode concludes is it feels like they're trying to just go 239 00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:44.880 yeah, well look there's gore. Look. Oh and by the way, 240 00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:48.160 we have an actress in this episode. Again similarly to another thing that we're 241 00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:55.160 going to talk about on the next episode, another episode of the show where 242 00:19:55.200 --> 00:19:59.519 you have a character who is not naked but yet they're but they are nude, 243 00:19:59.599 --> 00:20:03.160 and it's like, what are you doing show again We're not. It's 244 00:20:03.200 --> 00:20:07.160 not that I'd want nudity, it's just why are you not showing it? 245 00:20:07.240 --> 00:20:11.480 This is Tales from the crypt. Yeah that, I mean, there's sort 246 00:20:11.480 --> 00:20:18.039 of a pact between viewer and maker that this show is about excess and extremes 247 00:20:18.279 --> 00:20:22.039 and we should delve into those because we're going to go where the comic book 248 00:20:22.039 --> 00:20:27.599 couldn't and and ending up giving us sort of softcore cinemax, which I would 249 00:20:27.640 --> 00:20:30.359 say even with the softcore cinemax, you get more out of it. It 250 00:20:30.680 --> 00:20:36.039 gives you exactly what this is just sort of titillation. But who cares because 251 00:20:36.279 --> 00:20:41.480 I don't like the character or the actress or anyone involved, So I don't 252 00:20:41.480 --> 00:20:47.319 know. Would it have made it better? Probably, but yeah, that's 253 00:20:47.960 --> 00:20:51.720 definitely a failing. We noticed that this season more than any season I think, 254 00:20:51.720 --> 00:20:56.039 where they sort of hint at things but don't actually deliver, and it's 255 00:20:56.079 --> 00:21:00.880 like, are you crazy? This is what we came for. I mean, 256 00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:03.839 you know, I won't go as far as to say it's what I 257 00:21:03.880 --> 00:21:07.480 came for, but it's what I expect from this show. Well, I 258 00:21:07.519 --> 00:21:10.519 just mean, I mean, put up until this season, we had gotten 259 00:21:10.519 --> 00:21:11.799 a lot of it. YEA, yeah, yeah, no exactly, Yeah, 260 00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:15.720 sure, sure, it's you know, it's it's a it's a pup 261 00:21:15.759 --> 00:21:21.240 poor novel, Like if they could have shown nudity when they originally wrote the 262 00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:23.119 comic, they probably would have. They totally would have. Yeah, But 263 00:21:23.200 --> 00:21:29.160 in the show, it's like this is on HBO and like you should be 264 00:21:29.200 --> 00:21:33.079 pushing the boundaries and kind of being edgy, and it's like you're just gonna 265 00:21:33.119 --> 00:21:37.480 show a character in the towel. But she melts at the end. So 266 00:21:37.559 --> 00:21:40.640 maybe that's kind of the happy middle ground, but it's not even happy middle 267 00:21:40.680 --> 00:21:42.079 ground. Yeah, I mean, you know, that could have been a 268 00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:47.119 clever way to go where they they're teasing us the entire time about showing her 269 00:21:47.240 --> 00:21:49.599 nude and then when they do reveal it, it's because she's melting, Like 270 00:21:49.640 --> 00:21:52.839 that could have been a comment or something, but it wasn't that. It 271 00:21:52.920 --> 00:21:57.599 was just another route. It's kind of a love triangle, although the character 272 00:21:57.720 --> 00:22:02.839 doesn't really care about either of the guys, and you know, we get 273 00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:07.319 that, and we get you know, some psychodrama that really goes nowhere, 274 00:22:07.319 --> 00:22:08.960 and we learned a little bit about soap and then she falls to pieces, 275 00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:14.160 so you know, hooray, Well she's dead at the end. So as 276 00:22:14.200 --> 00:22:18.200 the audience member the show thinks that that's all you need to do is kill 277 00:22:18.279 --> 00:22:22.680 the kill the villain and everyone's happy and everyone can go home happy. It's 278 00:22:22.720 --> 00:22:26.079 like, no, I want more from this show than that, and the 279 00:22:26.559 --> 00:22:30.839 show has become complacent at this point. I think we can both agree. 280 00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:37.400 Oh yeah, like the complacency that this show has is just not shocking, 281 00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:41.640 because again, it's been on for six seasons. But you would think with 282 00:22:41.759 --> 00:22:48.119 the names involved Zemeckis, Geyler, Hill, they would be giving a shit 283 00:22:48.279 --> 00:22:51.839 more because their names are still connected to it, right, But at this 284 00:22:51.880 --> 00:22:56.559 point they're just cashing the checks. Although one of the original titans of Tales 285 00:22:56.559 --> 00:23:00.319 from the Crypt is on deck with the with the final episode, yeah, 286 00:23:00.359 --> 00:23:03.559 so it doesn't. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But let's 287 00:23:03.559 --> 00:23:07.480 talk about the final episode of season six, and again, let's just say, 288 00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:12.319 for sake of argument, because season seven's kind of its own thing. 289 00:23:14.119 --> 00:23:17.480 For all intents and purposes, this is technically the end of the show. 290 00:23:17.880 --> 00:23:21.200 Yeah, certainly, I don't think if they had intended, I don't think 291 00:23:21.200 --> 00:23:23.039 anyone's gonna argue with us on that. Now. If they had intended to 292 00:23:23.079 --> 00:23:26.519 do another one, it was not going to be what we got, right, 293 00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:33.400 they did something that was so different with the seventh season by going overseas, 294 00:23:33.480 --> 00:23:37.319 by focusing on you know, an international cast, and you know they 295 00:23:37.559 --> 00:23:41.240 did a lot of the folks that worked on the show before weren't involved. 296 00:23:41.720 --> 00:23:45.039 So this is, for all intents and purposes, the final episode of the 297 00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:48.759 show. We're still going to cover season seven, don't get us wrong, 298 00:23:48.119 --> 00:23:53.039 but to put you in the mindset, You Murderer is technically the final episode 299 00:23:53.039 --> 00:24:03.400 of the show. Hello, Hi you, I'm fierst Goop. Care for 300 00:24:03.640 --> 00:24:11.400 a shock Colette? Mummy always sad. Life is like a box of shockolettes. 301 00:24:12.319 --> 00:24:18.160 You never know what you're gonna get. Know what else mummy said? 302 00:24:19.240 --> 00:24:27.599 She said, scary is as scary does, which brings to mind the man 303 00:24:27.599 --> 00:24:34.440 in Tonight's Terror Tale. He's just dying to get out of the mess he's 304 00:24:34.559 --> 00:24:47.400 in. Literally, it's a little piece of horrid candy. I call you 305 00:24:47.759 --> 00:24:52.480 Murderer. So, like Father Malan mentioned, it's directed by Bob's mecas our 306 00:24:52.519 --> 00:24:56.839 good friend Bob's a friend of the Chronicles from the Crypt podcast Bob's Mecasum. 307 00:24:57.039 --> 00:25:02.119 It stars Humphrey Bogart and no, you didn't misshear me say that. But 308 00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:04.279 there's no way. There's no way if you watch the show, you don't 309 00:25:04.359 --> 00:25:07.119 know about this episode, because this an episode for me, is kind of 310 00:25:07.160 --> 00:25:14.559 notorious. Um, certainly good and bad. Also starts John lyfco Isabella Rosselini 311 00:25:14.680 --> 00:25:19.640 and uh, you know Sherilyn Fenn Fenn, I mean, come on, 312 00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:25.359 give her her ad, Yeah, give her a wide berth because Twin Peaks 313 00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:32.680 Rylyn Fenn, I think, and uh, fuck you? I mean, 314 00:25:32.839 --> 00:25:36.240 is Sherilyn Fenn known for a lot of things other than Twin Peaks. When 315 00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:38.960 I think of her, I think of her very brief but super powerful and 316 00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:42.359 amazing performance in Wild at Heart. Yeah, but what about Twin Peaks? 317 00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:45.480 Oh yeah, no, I built Look, man, I think, Okay, 318 00:25:45.559 --> 00:25:48.599 of course she's spectacular. I think if you point, if you hold 319 00:25:48.640 --> 00:25:51.799 up a picture of her, everyone's gonna say Twin Peaks, no question. 320 00:25:51.880 --> 00:25:55.359 Yeah, they're not gonna say this episode. No, Why would they? 321 00:25:56.359 --> 00:26:00.960 Right? I mean, so this so this, this episode's so you have 322 00:26:00.200 --> 00:26:07.680 a It kind of reminds me of a noir film that I watched earlier this 323 00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:12.400 year, featuring Humphrey Bogart. It's very close, actually, right down to 324 00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:17.599 the first person perspective. What's the name of that film? Again? The 325 00:26:17.720 --> 00:26:22.200 desperate hours, the what the desperate hours? No, it's not. I 326 00:26:22.200 --> 00:26:29.359 can't actually remember what it's not. It's called Dark Passage. Dark is that 327 00:26:29.400 --> 00:26:33.920 what it is? Yeah, he's trying to escape. So this episode reminds 328 00:26:33.920 --> 00:26:37.839 me of a film that I watched earlier this year called Dark Passage that we 329 00:26:37.880 --> 00:26:42.839 did on another podcast that I do when we're talking about noir films. And 330 00:26:45.319 --> 00:26:48.759 it's a film in first person perspective part of it where you have Humphrey Bogart 331 00:26:48.839 --> 00:26:55.240 changing his face too. Humphrey Bogart's face in that film as well, and 332 00:26:55.400 --> 00:27:02.559 this is very similar. But the whole crux of this episode is pulling out 333 00:27:02.559 --> 00:27:07.119 your CGI wiener and slapping it on the screen. I mean, that's what 334 00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:10.319 it feels like. I mean, it kind of does. I mean, 335 00:27:10.839 --> 00:27:12.880 I mean, look, that's I have no problem saying that. That's what 336 00:27:12.960 --> 00:27:18.319 James Cameron has been trafficking in recently in his career. Look at my seat. 337 00:27:18.359 --> 00:27:21.799 Look how big I can make my CGI penis me slap it against you 338 00:27:21.799 --> 00:27:23.680 a couple of times for you to understand how big and girthy it is. 339 00:27:23.720 --> 00:27:29.680 Like what the This episode's not that bad. There are good parts in this 340 00:27:29.720 --> 00:27:33.279 episode, but anytime they cut to Humphrey Bogart, CGI, what a night 341 00:27:33.799 --> 00:27:38.000 boy. Run, don't walk, Run for the exits, because that thing 342 00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:41.480 is going to come out of the screen and haunt your dreams. They you 343 00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:45.480 know, they may in a lot of the shots that they may as well 344 00:27:45.519 --> 00:27:48.200 have just had a cardboard cutout of him on the set, like it would 345 00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:51.519 have been. They should have just had Robert Zacki. They had him on 346 00:27:51.559 --> 00:27:55.400 there anyways, and already looks like Humphrey fucking Bogart. Yeah, I mean, 347 00:27:55.799 --> 00:27:59.920 look, clearly Zemeckis is high off of Forrest Gump and what you can 348 00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:03.599 do with a computer, and you can manipulate that. Clearly Zemeckis is high. 349 00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:08.640 Yeah, well this is I think this episode actually marks his slow descent 350 00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:12.359 into CG everything, because they were for a while there he was only making 351 00:28:12.440 --> 00:28:17.599 CG movies and had sort of, you know, not officially announced, but 352 00:28:17.680 --> 00:28:19.319 certainly said that that's the only way he wanted to make movies from now on, 353 00:28:19.440 --> 00:28:23.880 and that has now reversed itself years later. But this was the first 354 00:28:23.960 --> 00:28:29.480 kind of attempt to take it further and see what they could do, and 355 00:28:29.799 --> 00:28:34.599 what they could do is garbage. It's the technology was not there for this 356 00:28:36.680 --> 00:28:41.519 and you know, having just the I don't know, the voice is not 357 00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:47.359 spot on, and the certainly the visuals are absolute and nightmare. Just it 358 00:28:47.440 --> 00:28:51.880 really seems like you could have just like green screened in a shot from any 359 00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:53.799 of the movies and it was going to look better somehow, somehow, it 360 00:28:53.920 --> 00:29:02.279 always looks like just the tone of the image doesn't match. And you know, 361 00:29:02.359 --> 00:29:07.880 it's just eye. It's yeah, it's he's dead eyes like adult eye. 362 00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:11.640 It's a very good This is an odd experience watching this. It was 363 00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:15.079 super cool. I gotta say, like back in the day when this episode 364 00:29:15.079 --> 00:29:18.160 first aired and the credits come up and it says starring harm Frey Bogart, 365 00:29:18.200 --> 00:29:22.640 it was like, oh, that's cool. And forty years man, forty 366 00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:26.400 years since he had been building anything. Yeah, so it was kind of, 367 00:29:27.200 --> 00:29:30.440 you know, a bit of giddiness when when you saw that. But 368 00:29:30.519 --> 00:29:37.759 then what we end up getting it's just so bad lifeless ghoul, the lifeless 369 00:29:37.839 --> 00:29:41.039 ghoul of Humphrey Bogard is stinking up the screen. And you know, to 370 00:29:41.160 --> 00:29:45.640 that end, like why not make it a horror thing because you know, 371 00:29:45.799 --> 00:29:51.039 look, this is as one might expect given the subject matter you mentioned, 372 00:29:51.079 --> 00:29:55.240 it's very noir, and it is very noir. You Murder is from Shock 373 00:29:55.359 --> 00:29:59.880 Suspense Stories Shock Suspense Stories fourteen, written by Auto Binder, who also wrote 374 00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:04.200 Comes the Dawn, And this was actually drawn by Bernie Kriegstein, who's not 375 00:30:04.319 --> 00:30:08.519 my favorite. His style is a little bit wacky, but I will point 376 00:30:08.519 --> 00:30:12.799 out that in this particular comic he chose to credit himself as doctor Caligary Kriegstein. 377 00:30:14.400 --> 00:30:22.839 Interesting the comic is, it's right, yeah, The comic is as 378 00:30:22.920 --> 00:30:26.559 the episode is first person, which is interesting, and it's this guy just 379 00:30:26.680 --> 00:30:36.559 walking home and he ends up running into a mesmerist who hypnotizes him and convinces 380 00:30:36.640 --> 00:30:40.599 him that he has to go kill his wife's lover in front of her. 381 00:30:40.839 --> 00:30:42.720 If there's any sort of drama in the episode, it's that the guy is 382 00:30:44.559 --> 00:30:48.559 morally incapable of committing murder, so he refuses, even under the sway of 383 00:30:48.640 --> 00:30:55.759 hypnotism, and the mesmerist ends up convincing him that the guy is a Fifth 384 00:30:55.759 --> 00:31:02.240 Columnist here to set off a nuclear bomb and he has to and this all 385 00:31:02.279 --> 00:31:03.640 pays out. He goes and he does it. He beats the guy to 386 00:31:03.640 --> 00:31:07.799 death with a chain, which is pretty brutal. I think he I don't 387 00:31:07.839 --> 00:31:10.920 know if he kills the wife as well, but she doesn't seem well when 388 00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:14.440 he leaves them. And then the last couple of panels are him waking up 389 00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:18.480 and the mesmerist is in the guy's apartment and he's saying, haven't you read 390 00:31:18.519 --> 00:31:22.000 the paper? You killed two people and they have your fingerprints on the chain 391 00:31:22.039 --> 00:31:25.119 and they're coming to get you now, and then that's the end. Imagine 392 00:31:25.119 --> 00:31:29.039 if that was their plan for the end of a Tales from the Crypt season 393 00:31:29.079 --> 00:31:33.200 and potentially the whole series. There's like, it's so beyond the pale sort 394 00:31:33.240 --> 00:31:37.440 of morally. This poor guy just gets roped into this scheme and then he 395 00:31:37.480 --> 00:31:41.440 has to pay for it at the end. That could have been much more 396 00:31:41.519 --> 00:31:45.960 interesting. Not that I wanted them to do another hypnosis or you know, 397 00:31:45.039 --> 00:31:49.319 a failed showman like committing murder on his wife or whatever, but it would 398 00:31:49.319 --> 00:31:53.559 have been better than what we got, because we got just kind of boilerplate 399 00:31:55.000 --> 00:32:01.240 noir tropes and attempts at said it, and you know, some of the 400 00:32:01.279 --> 00:32:06.200 look Isabella Rossellini's fucking great, she's always good. John Lythgo, what can 401 00:32:06.240 --> 00:32:09.119 you say? It's John Lythgo, and even Cherylyn Fenn holds her own in 402 00:32:09.119 --> 00:32:13.359 the mousey kind of way, and then they do the stupidest thing ever with 403 00:32:13.400 --> 00:32:15.359 her character at the end, where she basically just walks up and hands them 404 00:32:15.400 --> 00:32:22.000 the gun. It's I don't know, this episode is a huge failure. 405 00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:27.559 Like Across the Park, It's got some things to recommend it. I just 406 00:32:27.640 --> 00:32:31.519 mentioned there the actor's names. But and I guess it's skillfully shot. I 407 00:32:31.519 --> 00:32:36.039 mean, you can't say Robert Semeckis doesn't know how to move a camera around. 408 00:32:36.480 --> 00:32:40.920 But anytime we have to join it up with the horrible living corpse of 409 00:32:42.079 --> 00:32:45.839 Humphrey Bogart, it just knows dives. Yet again, like you end up 410 00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:47.559 wondering what the hell we're doing here? Why are we doing this other than 411 00:32:47.680 --> 00:32:52.519 as an experiment, that's all it is. I mean it is a literal 412 00:32:52.640 --> 00:33:02.839 experiment in it is experimental filmmaking because this, this level of repurposing the dead, 413 00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:09.960 would not really become a thing until like five years ago. True, 414 00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:14.480 I mean this is when they did when they did Rogue one, right, 415 00:33:15.119 --> 00:33:19.960 Yeah, where they actually sort of having the cars. I mean there had 416 00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:22.680 been little gasps of it here and there where they were cgiing, like you 417 00:33:22.720 --> 00:33:28.599 know, Fred Astaire dancing with a with a vacuum cleaner back. Wasn't there 418 00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:32.000 a Humphrey Bogart commercial where he was like in a Zales ad. No, 419 00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:37.519 he was in a Coca Cola ad where they I think they repurposed a shot 420 00:33:37.559 --> 00:33:39.319 from Casablanca with him sitting at the bar and they put a coke in front 421 00:33:39.319 --> 00:33:44.559 of him. So it's not like it was completely unknown at the time that 422 00:33:44.599 --> 00:33:46.960 they did this, And certainly Zamagas had just done it with Forrest Gump where 423 00:33:46.960 --> 00:33:52.880 he has Tom Hanks interacting with John Kennedy, uh and John Lennon and you 424 00:33:52.960 --> 00:33:58.839 know, so this is sort of the birthing ground of this kind of thing. 425 00:33:58.920 --> 00:34:01.359 And it's how many years later, twenty five years later, it's still 426 00:34:02.440 --> 00:34:07.400 the uncanny valley is undeniable. You know, Well, I don't even think 427 00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:12.880 there's anything uncanny about it. It's just the ghoulish visage of Humphrey Bogart with 428 00:34:13.280 --> 00:34:16.400 dead, soulless eyes and a mouth that moves like a puppet's mouth. Yeah, 429 00:34:16.440 --> 00:34:21.559 you can see they tried to find lines where they didn't have to manipulate 430 00:34:21.599 --> 00:34:22.679 the mouth at all, like so it would fit into the plot. But 431 00:34:22.760 --> 00:34:25.519 it's always the most generic thing. It's not like he looks at the camera 432 00:34:25.519 --> 00:34:30.519 and gives us a speech. It's always someone asks a question, the camera 433 00:34:30.599 --> 00:34:34.760 pans to a mirror, and he says like one thing, and then back 434 00:34:34.800 --> 00:34:38.559 to the horrible narration and glimpses of him in mirrors for the rest of the 435 00:34:38.599 --> 00:34:43.800 episode. It's I've never seen so many I've never seen a character look into 436 00:34:43.800 --> 00:34:47.280 a fucking reflective surface so many times. Yea, I have in this episode. 437 00:34:49.400 --> 00:34:52.840 It's real bad. If this is the way this show ended, Okay, 438 00:34:52.920 --> 00:34:58.119 Let's let's play a theoretical thought experiment here, right, Let's say this 439 00:34:58.159 --> 00:35:01.880 is how the show ended. Okay, this show would have been an abject 440 00:35:01.880 --> 00:35:05.320 failure as a show. Yeah, I mean, look, we can't you 441 00:35:05.360 --> 00:35:08.440 know, I haven't seen how the series actually ends yet, but this would 442 00:35:08.559 --> 00:35:13.800 be an ignominious way to go out no matter how you slice it, considering 443 00:35:13.800 --> 00:35:16.760 how one of the episodes of the show is still one of my favorite twenty 444 00:35:16.760 --> 00:35:21.960 three minutes of television, The first episode of the show, Yeah there you 445 00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:25.280 go. I mean, look from that to this, like all the potential, 446 00:35:25.719 --> 00:35:32.800 all of the every sort of element that can make the show great and 447 00:35:34.280 --> 00:35:36.800 right in the first episode and then by the time we get here, it's 448 00:35:36.840 --> 00:35:39.679 just like, oh boy, what the fuck are you guys doing? Like, 449 00:35:39.920 --> 00:35:44.760 yeah, we go from a William Sadler episode where he plays an executioner 450 00:35:44.800 --> 00:35:49.840 who gets executed because he's taking the law into his own hands too cgi Humphrey 451 00:35:49.840 --> 00:35:54.599 Bogart, how far we've fallen? Yeah, precipitous drop at best. It's 452 00:35:55.280 --> 00:36:00.119 yeah, shocking, you know. And the thing is, when you look 453 00:36:00.119 --> 00:36:02.920 at, say, the first season of the show, you can say that, 454 00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:07.440 you know, these guys are just playing around, these filmmakers, like, 455 00:36:07.599 --> 00:36:12.079 you know, this is a chance to explore and experiment and things, 456 00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:15.320 so like, it's not an unprecedented move that one of these filmmakers would use 457 00:36:15.400 --> 00:36:22.079 this smaller format to do that, but it seemed to be serving the material. 458 00:36:22.840 --> 00:36:25.840 No matter how masturbatory some of those episodes ended up being. This one 459 00:36:27.119 --> 00:36:30.639 is pure masturbation. It's just like, I have a budget because it's an 460 00:36:30.639 --> 00:36:34.679 episode of the show, and there's something I want to try, and let's 461 00:36:34.760 --> 00:36:37.320 let's go ahead and do that, and you know, find me a story 462 00:36:37.360 --> 00:36:40.880 that that you know can make that happen. And then they did. It's 463 00:36:40.920 --> 00:36:45.239 not even laziness, it's it's it's more of an affront because it's, like 464 00:36:45.239 --> 00:36:52.679 I said, it's just a filmmaker, like having no regard whatever other than 465 00:36:52.719 --> 00:36:54.039 he wanted to do this. Well, he didn't want to do anything other 466 00:36:54.079 --> 00:37:00.960 than show you something quote unquote cool. And that was my whole analogy or 467 00:37:00.039 --> 00:37:05.039 kind of my you know, gibe my jab at the beginning of this talking 468 00:37:05.039 --> 00:37:08.000 about this episode was it's just him. It's Zamaca's flaunting his CGI penis, 469 00:37:08.559 --> 00:37:13.199 Like look how much money I can look how much money and time I can 470 00:37:13.199 --> 00:37:17.000 get people to throw at something, like someone spent time and effort making a 471 00:37:17.039 --> 00:37:22.039 CGI. Humphrey Bogart move his mouth like a sock puppet Like if I put 472 00:37:22.079 --> 00:37:25.119 my if I put my thumb underneath my fingers and move my thumb, my 473 00:37:25.159 --> 00:37:30.920 thumb moves more like a human mouth. Yeah, it's just it's it's just 474 00:37:30.079 --> 00:37:37.800 it's bizarre because you could have done this episode without showing Humphrey Bogart's fucking face. 475 00:37:37.880 --> 00:37:44.480 You could have done like nose up or just his eyes in the mirror 476 00:37:44.519 --> 00:37:46.239 of the car. You didn't have to show his entire face, and you 477 00:37:46.239 --> 00:37:51.639 could have had the final shot of the episode be his face. But he's 478 00:37:51.679 --> 00:37:55.519 not talking anyways. So it doesn't matter, right, I mean, they 479 00:37:55.559 --> 00:38:00.760 if they could have spent all their budget on one le fantastic shot instead of 480 00:38:00.800 --> 00:38:05.079 trying to give us all of these, yeah, I mean, you know, 481 00:38:05.519 --> 00:38:09.480 just just just realistically, you know, does this guy look at himself 482 00:38:09.559 --> 00:38:16.039 this much? It's a lot. He must. And you know, it 483 00:38:16.039 --> 00:38:21.519 goes into any sort of first person point of view when you when you choose 484 00:38:21.599 --> 00:38:27.039 that as your format for your film or television series whatever, it always ends 485 00:38:27.119 --> 00:38:30.679 up feeling wildly unnatural, like where the camera just always pans down to what 486 00:38:30.719 --> 00:38:35.719 they're doing, you know, like I'm getting my keys out of my pocket, 487 00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:37.039 so the camera pans down, looks at the pocket in the hand going 488 00:38:37.039 --> 00:38:40.599 in and whatever, and it's just like for that, who does that? 489 00:38:40.719 --> 00:38:47.159 It's insane. Well, Humphrey Bogart does in this episode. He sure does 490 00:38:47.199 --> 00:38:54.440 and will forever and always as this is the capstone, the headstone for the 491 00:38:54.480 --> 00:39:00.519 American involvement with Tales from the Crypt. What a Danum was It was just 492 00:39:00.599 --> 00:39:06.760 the final just the kiss of shit on top of an otherwise uneven show. 493 00:39:07.199 --> 00:39:10.480 Have I said skip it because skip this one, skip this one and don't 494 00:39:10.519 --> 00:39:15.199 look back, Yeah, or no, look back back to the first season. 495 00:39:15.039 --> 00:39:22.000 Yeah right, yeah it um yeah, what an ignominious way to go 496 00:39:22.039 --> 00:39:27.840 out. Really, just what a shame. There's like, there's so few 497 00:39:27.960 --> 00:39:30.440 things that this episode does write that for me, it is the total skip. 498 00:39:30.559 --> 00:39:37.519 It is just a bizarre exercise in flaunting your CGI in your budget, 499 00:39:37.079 --> 00:39:42.880 and it hasn't aged well in twenty twenty because now we have CGI so good 500 00:39:42.880 --> 00:39:46.199 that they can make fur look realistic, and even even taking that out of 501 00:39:46.199 --> 00:39:50.920 it, it's still not a good episode because it doesn't do anything, because 502 00:39:50.960 --> 00:39:54.719 it's so worried about showing you Humphrey Bogart's face over and over again that it 503 00:39:54.719 --> 00:40:00.239 doesn't even do anything else. As clumsy in episode as comes to Dawn is 504 00:40:00.880 --> 00:40:02.840 I know it's tales from the cript while I'm watching it. This one, 505 00:40:04.360 --> 00:40:06.960 it's tails in a crip because of the people involved, because they got the 506 00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:12.719 banner title on it, but doesn't feel like anything of a piece with everything 507 00:40:12.760 --> 00:40:15.800 that we've gotten before, and it's a skip for me. Give it hard. 508 00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:20.679 So that's the end of season six, folks. So you know what 509 00:40:20.719 --> 00:40:23.000 we do at the end of every season, We give our favorite and our 510 00:40:23.079 --> 00:40:28.400 least favorite episode. Yes, indeed, so Father Malone, which episode in 511 00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:34.320 season six stuck out to you as your least favorite episode. Oh, not 512 00:40:34.360 --> 00:40:38.440 the worst, just your least favorite. Probably. I'm gonna say it's kind 513 00:40:38.440 --> 00:40:45.320 of a tie between The Pit and Revenges the Nuts. It might be Revenges 514 00:40:45.360 --> 00:40:49.280 the Nuts just comparatively, which we do a lot here, given that we 515 00:40:49.480 --> 00:40:53.679 already received a film version of that particular story, and it is harrowing and 516 00:40:53.960 --> 00:40:59.960 wonderful, and what we got here is let's say not so I'll say Revenge 517 00:41:00.079 --> 00:41:02.400 is the Nuts is the worst of this for me. It is also a 518 00:41:02.440 --> 00:41:10.960 tie. It is a tie between Operation Friendship featuring Peter Dobson, who is 519 00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:15.519 a terrible actor and I'm not going to change my opinion on that until I 520 00:41:15.559 --> 00:41:19.119 see something that he's in that's good, and another episode that is just as 521 00:41:19.159 --> 00:41:27.239 bizarre as it is tone deaf The Assassin featuring a sex changed CIA agent. 522 00:41:27.679 --> 00:41:32.199 Yeah, that's almost fucks Carrot Corey. Oh he almost, he being Corey 523 00:41:32.320 --> 00:41:38.559 Feldman almost fucks the person he's trying to kill. It's just fucking weird. 524 00:41:38.920 --> 00:41:44.679 I also believe that it's another Scott number fro episode. It is so great. 525 00:41:45.440 --> 00:41:49.800 Um, which episode of season six stuck out to you as your favorite, 526 00:41:49.800 --> 00:41:53.960 though that would be only skin deep. That one. Uh. I 527 00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:57.519 don't know how, I don't know how great it is, but it uh 528 00:41:57.719 --> 00:42:02.079 it uh I. If I think about any of the episode of the season, 529 00:42:02.440 --> 00:42:06.039 that one sticks out of my mind. I liked it sort of visually 530 00:42:06.280 --> 00:42:09.039 and it had this weirdo kind of you know, we talk a lot about 531 00:42:09.719 --> 00:42:15.719 the show not pushing boundaries and taboos, and I think that one felt like 532 00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:19.559 I want to tales from the Crypt episode to be I'm not saying it's great, 533 00:42:20.440 --> 00:42:23.079 but of this season, that's the one I'm actually going even farther back 534 00:42:23.079 --> 00:42:28.599 in season six, I'm going to talk about the first episode. My favorite 535 00:42:28.599 --> 00:42:31.360 episode of this season is let the Punishment Fit the Crime because it has Catherine 536 00:42:31.400 --> 00:42:36.320 O'Hara in it, and it has Peter nichol in it. Peter McNichol in 537 00:42:36.360 --> 00:42:38.320 it. Yeah, that I agree that. I mean, it's it's it's 538 00:42:38.320 --> 00:42:44.119 a bad It has bad moments, namely the ending is just bogus to say 539 00:42:44.159 --> 00:42:46.960 the least. Yeah, but Catherine O'Hara is always great and Peter McNichol, 540 00:42:47.039 --> 00:42:52.000 I mean, we await the word of vegle like Peter McNichol. Yeah, 541 00:42:52.039 --> 00:42:58.599 Peter McNichol is always good in anything. So you know, here's the thing, 542 00:42:59.440 --> 00:43:06.280 there's like only two or three good episodes this season. Yeah, hard 543 00:43:06.320 --> 00:43:07.960 one race to figure out what was really good here. It's they're only a 544 00:43:07.960 --> 00:43:12.920 handful. Yeah, And I feel like if you hadn't said only skin deep, 545 00:43:12.920 --> 00:43:15.000 you would have said let the punishment fit the crime. I might have 546 00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:19.079 said Doctor of Horror because I like that one. Really. Yeah, I 547 00:43:19.119 --> 00:43:24.199 like that one. Yeah, what can I tell you? It's okay? 548 00:43:24.480 --> 00:43:29.960 Yeah, I mean again, it's better than these last three, certainly better 549 00:43:29.960 --> 00:43:31.840 than most of them. Like, like I said, it's maybe two or 550 00:43:31.920 --> 00:43:37.760 three episodes this season, I really enjoyed. It's it's a real shame to 551 00:43:37.800 --> 00:43:42.119 me because thinking about season five, season five had some really good episodes in 552 00:43:42.199 --> 00:43:47.800 it. Yeah, death of some salesman forever ambergreed, well cooked Hams has 553 00:43:47.800 --> 00:43:53.840 its moments. But like, man, this season, even the episode I 554 00:43:53.880 --> 00:43:57.920 like from this season, the episodes that I would go to bat for, 555 00:43:59.440 --> 00:44:01.679 are nowhere near as good as anything we saw in season one, two or 556 00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:07.039 three. No, like, not even close. And it's just a damn 557 00:44:07.039 --> 00:44:10.599 shame because the show has fallen off so hard by this point. Yes, 558 00:44:12.519 --> 00:44:15.360 this is why I'm I'm actually hopeful for season seven. I mean, it 559 00:44:15.400 --> 00:44:20.480 can't be worse, right, I couldn't tell you, Yeah exactly, I 560 00:44:21.360 --> 00:44:27.840 legit can't tell you it could it could be worse. But I feel like 561 00:44:27.880 --> 00:44:30.840 that bar Is set solo. There's not a whole lot that they have to 562 00:44:30.840 --> 00:44:34.000 do to be better, you know, I would I would like to just 563 00:44:34.360 --> 00:44:37.400 remember back to the days of season four with you know, Christopher Reeve, 564 00:44:38.119 --> 00:44:45.800 Joe Peshi, anything but where we are now, David Warner getting a David 565 00:44:45.840 --> 00:44:50.840 Warner getting a dummy throat at. Yeah, Like that's the thing. Like 566 00:44:51.440 --> 00:44:55.199 it's not like the series got too self serious or something, but there was 567 00:44:55.239 --> 00:45:00.880 a level of play at work in previous seasons even if it wasn't the best 568 00:45:01.199 --> 00:45:07.480 plotted or shot, like you could still have a bit of fun with it. 569 00:45:07.559 --> 00:45:10.400 And this season in particularly, didn't feel that way, like even when 570 00:45:10.400 --> 00:45:14.559 they were shooting, in fact, especially when they were shooting for sort of 571 00:45:14.719 --> 00:45:17.280 a lighthearted episode. Not that any of the ones I'm mentioning necessarily were, 572 00:45:17.599 --> 00:45:25.639 but I'm just saying there seemed to be an attempt at entertainment in some way. 573 00:45:25.920 --> 00:45:29.840 Well, and again, it also feels like in the previous seasons at 574 00:45:29.920 --> 00:45:34.039 least one through four or five. To some extent, it also felt like 575 00:45:34.079 --> 00:45:38.360 there was a lot more oversight when it came to the scripts and the quality 576 00:45:38.400 --> 00:45:42.599 of the show that was being put out, because those first five seasons are 577 00:45:42.639 --> 00:45:47.199 pretty damn good television from a scripts quality standpoint, and then as soon as 578 00:45:47.199 --> 00:45:52.559 you get to season six and later parts of season five, boy, it 579 00:45:52.679 --> 00:45:58.320 just starts nosediving. That's you know, I don't think that's an uncommon problem 580 00:45:58.360 --> 00:46:00.960 with any television series. You start off and you've got to know, most 581 00:46:00.960 --> 00:46:04.280 of the time, they just get too big for their britches. That's not 582 00:46:04.280 --> 00:46:07.800 even what happened. Here's always like a corps of writers, and as the 583 00:46:07.800 --> 00:46:09.559 show gets more popular, they go off to do their own thing, as 584 00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:14.519 anyone would, and you're left with the people they hired, as you know, 585 00:46:14.559 --> 00:46:16.719 assistants and stuff, and they kind of take over the ship, and 586 00:46:17.079 --> 00:46:22.599 their vision isn't necessarily what the original guys who kind of came to it to 587 00:46:22.760 --> 00:46:27.599 deliver what it's supposed to be. You have people who are just like involved 588 00:46:27.639 --> 00:46:30.679 and they know the formula, and so they keep churning them out. And 589 00:46:30.719 --> 00:46:36.320 that's what the past couple of seasons it felt like I can't agree more so. 590 00:46:36.400 --> 00:46:38.519 On that note, on the next episode of Chronicles from the Crypt, 591 00:46:38.519 --> 00:46:44.360 we're gonna be taking a look at the final Tales from the Crypt film, 592 00:46:44.440 --> 00:46:46.960 though it's an official Tales from the Crypt film, but technically the name has 593 00:46:47.000 --> 00:46:51.480 just slapped on Thereafter the fact, we're gonna be talking about two thousand and 594 00:46:51.480 --> 00:46:55.639 sixes Tales from the Crypt presents ritual. So if you haven't seen it, 595 00:46:55.800 --> 00:47:00.800 don't don't, but listen to us talk about it and you'll get a pretty 596 00:47:00.840 --> 00:47:05.480 good idea as to why you shouldn't watch it. There's a lot of things 597 00:47:05.519 --> 00:47:07.360 in that movie that are not great, and the way the film ends is 598 00:47:07.480 --> 00:47:15.760 kind of the that's the worst bit of them all. Until then, Okay, 599 00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:19.360 I don't even want to bring it up again. So until then, 600 00:47:19.400 --> 00:47:22.880 where can people find you? Father Malone? Find me over on father Malone 601 00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:27.280 dot com. I have a new podcast up called Dark Destinations. It's a 602 00:47:27.360 --> 00:47:31.800 travelogue of frightening fictional towns. You can also check out my YouTube channel Ought 603 00:47:31.840 --> 00:47:36.280 five Films O U G H T F I V E f I l MS 604 00:47:36.400 --> 00:47:39.320 for a bunch of content there, and you can also hear me over on 605 00:47:39.440 --> 00:47:43.960 Dreams for sale. The Twilight Zone eighty five podcasts, which I do with 606 00:47:44.320 --> 00:47:47.960 Casualty Chris here and our friend, our man in Detroit, mister Mike White. 607 00:47:49.280 --> 00:47:52.320 As for me, you can find me on Twitter at Casualty Underscore Chris. 608 00:47:52.360 --> 00:47:57.400 You can find the podcast on Twitter at Chronicles FTC. I do a 609 00:47:57.440 --> 00:48:02.440 movie podcast called The Culture Cast and a spooky paranormal true crime podcast called Scary 610 00:48:02.440 --> 00:48:06.679 Stories We Tell if you want to check those out. We are also on 611 00:48:06.719 --> 00:48:12.000 the internet at Chronicles ftc dot com. Big thanks to you, our listener, 612 00:48:12.000 --> 00:48:15.159 and to John because here for doing the intro for the podcast, and 613 00:48:15.199 --> 00:48:30.400 we'll catch you in the next episode.