WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.040 --> 00:00:04.120 It's almost that time of year again, so come on down to Men's Scare 2 00:00:04.160 --> 00:00:10.279 House for back to ghoule savings. I started mids Scare House with one goal 3 00:00:10.439 --> 00:00:15.439 in mind, the worst licking clothing for the best prizes. Are you having 4 00:00:15.439 --> 00:00:18.679 a hard time getting a rise out of the target of your hauntings. The 5 00:00:18.800 --> 00:00:25.280 first step in equality haunting is confidence in one's appearance or disappearance. If you're 6 00:00:25.359 --> 00:00:29.440 not happy with a look of your eternal raiments, then come to Men's Scare 7 00:00:29.480 --> 00:00:34.159 House this weekend. Only two moth eaten overcoats for the price of one forty 8 00:00:34.200 --> 00:00:39.759 percent off all ethereal wedding dresses, and of course everything is coated in spider 9 00:00:39.799 --> 00:00:46.280 webs. A fully formed, free floating, vaporous apparition should inspire terror on 10 00:00:46.560 --> 00:00:53.200 sight before a single mournful moan escapes what used to be its lips, blood 11 00:00:53.240 --> 00:00:58.399 dripping gloves thirty percent off, heavy clumping shoes forty percent off behind and not 12 00:00:58.759 --> 00:01:03.640 seeing it's ninety percent off. Discontinued items like the full babble dress uniform of 13 00:01:03.679 --> 00:01:07.640 will help Kaiser surpriser with Kaiser. So come down to Men's Scare House this 14 00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:12.359 weekend. We'll have games for all the unbaptized kids all at men's scare houses 15 00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:18.319 annual back to Goole sale. You gotta like the way you spoke. I 16 00:01:18.519 --> 00:01:33.319 can't die it. What makes you finish everything? He says with the sound 17 00:01:37.120 --> 00:01:41.599 good. He's dead. Those free cockroaches in the bowl they have. I 18 00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:45.000 have no reason to think this, but for some reason I imagine that he's 19 00:01:45.120 --> 00:01:53.640 just an upper torso sat in a chair. It's still fat. Yeah. 20 00:01:53.640 --> 00:02:00.840 Oh, hello everyone here, everybody. My name is David Flora, and 21 00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:07.719 I'm David Stecco, and I'm baptized child in the afternoon, and welcome to 22 00:02:07.800 --> 00:02:13.199 blurry photos. That's right, oh man. Gather around, y'all. Stick 23 00:02:13.280 --> 00:02:16.879 some sticks, some marshmallows on some sticks and stick them. Stick them on 24 00:02:16.919 --> 00:02:21.840 them sticks, stick them sticks, sharpen them first. Put the marshmallow on 25 00:02:21.879 --> 00:02:28.520 there, and can pile around the campfire because it's time for camp fire ghost 26 00:02:28.919 --> 00:02:38.560 stories, camp fire cost stories. Bum one o'clock. Yeah, you know. 27 00:02:38.840 --> 00:02:43.599 Uh. In Colorado Springs there's this thing halfway upshy Mountain called the will 28 00:02:43.719 --> 00:02:50.080 Rogers Shrine, and it's huge. It's like a spire. I mean, 29 00:02:50.120 --> 00:02:53.319 it's just like a it's like or think it's just a big tower sitting on 30 00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:59.879 the side of the mountain, and it has I I gotta say, though 31 00:03:00.199 --> 00:03:02.520 it's been a long time since I've heard it. They it may not make 32 00:03:02.560 --> 00:03:07.840 the sounds anymore, but all growing up, it would do that every hour 33 00:03:07.919 --> 00:03:15.360 on the hour, ding ding ding ding bong bong, and you could hear 34 00:03:15.360 --> 00:03:21.280 it over the whole city. Wow, that's creepy. Yeah, that's pretty 35 00:03:21.319 --> 00:03:24.319 creepy. Yeah, that was a I can't believe I said, or thank 36 00:03:25.520 --> 00:03:30.960 I do, or thank you, I'm welcome. I don't understand why they 37 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:36.800 make that sound into doorbells. Right, it's too long. It's too long. 38 00:03:37.039 --> 00:03:42.080 Even bing bong can be cut in half. Bang. Yeah, oh 39 00:03:42.759 --> 00:03:46.840 gosh, it's annoying, but at least it wasn't longer, right, dang 40 00:03:46.960 --> 00:03:51.639 dong? Oh, I better get the door long. I'm still gonna get 41 00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:54.120 the dong dong. Who is a dang? No, you're already in. 42 00:03:54.159 --> 00:03:58.120 We've had dinner. We've already had dinner. You've been in, We visited 43 00:03:58.159 --> 00:04:00.240 for a while, we even fired up Mario, the original Mario and played 44 00:04:00.280 --> 00:04:03.680 it. And now you've left. Jesus Christ. Now the doorbells ending this 45 00:04:03.719 --> 00:04:08.319 week on Blurry Photos. Two guys aren't old enough to be this cranky talk 46 00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:19.800 about how much doorbells make them angry? What have we? Yeah? Exactly, 47 00:04:20.879 --> 00:04:27.040 oh man, Well as promised, I hope, I hope you guys 48 00:04:27.040 --> 00:04:30.680 are okay that this this episode is not exactly a fresh show to the oven. 49 00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:34.879 Even as you're hearing this, I am petting, peddling my sweaty, 50 00:04:34.920 --> 00:04:40.959 sweaty body across the fine state of Iowa in search of I don't know, 51 00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:44.560 it's a spirit quest. Maybe I'll bring some payote with me. Oh nice, 52 00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:48.199 nice, I gotta find some payote. That's a that's a field trip. 53 00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:54.959 We could take American Southwest man Pyoti, and then on down to Iowaska 54 00:04:55.040 --> 00:05:00.839 town. Not you or not me, neither of us needs or will benefit 55 00:05:00.920 --> 00:05:05.560 from hallucinogens that would break us. I don't know how. Don't you think 56 00:05:05.680 --> 00:05:11.279 you think it would break I thought it was would was supposed to open your 57 00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:15.319 mind to how one you are with the universe, you know, like, 58 00:05:15.800 --> 00:05:24.480 um, that's just your No. I was just crafting a metaphor in my 59 00:05:24.519 --> 00:05:30.079 head about um, fire hydrants and how maybe you shouldn't open those up all 60 00:05:30.120 --> 00:05:34.439 the way. Oh well, yeah, yeah, my mind's like a fire 61 00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:41.959 hydrant. Eventually a fire will breakout and someone will carefully, in a controlled 62 00:05:42.000 --> 00:05:48.240 manner, increase my perspective just enough to dounce the terror flames and then use 63 00:05:48.279 --> 00:05:54.560 the wrench to shut it back down again. I have this weird sense of 64 00:05:54.920 --> 00:06:00.160 um drug hierarchy. Maybe like I would. I would be totally opposed to 65 00:06:00.199 --> 00:06:04.800 doing heroin, let's say, but I would sort of be like, you 66 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:09.240 know what, payote, Sure, I might try that at some point. 67 00:06:09.680 --> 00:06:13.319 I don't know where that comes from, though, you know what I mean, 68 00:06:13.439 --> 00:06:16.160 It's like crack Noah, I don't think that'd be for me. Ayahuasca, 69 00:06:16.319 --> 00:06:20.399 however, well, I think part of it is like you don't know, 70 00:06:20.680 --> 00:06:26.319 I've never heard of an ayahuasca addict. No, no one's hooked on 71 00:06:26.439 --> 00:06:31.519 acid, you know, no one's try ask do you know an k Ultra 72 00:06:31.600 --> 00:06:39.519 episode? True? No, I'll tell you what. I tried weed pass 73 00:06:40.480 --> 00:06:44.759 it just it did not. None of the effects were what I consider to 74 00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:48.680 be personally pleasant. And all apologies to the YouTube commenter who thinks we just 75 00:06:48.720 --> 00:06:54.600 sit around smoking weed weed and giggling. Right, No, I'm afraid we're 76 00:06:54.680 --> 00:06:59.040 high on our own supply. Bros of you. Yeah, it's a whammy 77 00:06:59.120 --> 00:07:02.920 to you. Yeah, I'm sorry that we sound high, because this is 78 00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:08.600 literally the best we can do. This is us tap dancing on a griddle. 79 00:07:08.680 --> 00:07:15.279 Lucy and doo oh man, that was some fun alright discussion, Um 80 00:07:15.639 --> 00:07:18.279 ready to We'll save it. We'll save it for a different episode, an 81 00:07:18.319 --> 00:07:25.160 episode of a different ilk that that that's cooking up, cooking it hard now, 82 00:07:25.480 --> 00:07:29.639 but like like a meth lab to the subject at hand. Yes, 83 00:07:30.600 --> 00:07:33.160 since it's the middle of the summer, I'm listening. You're getting out there, 84 00:07:33.240 --> 00:07:39.439 You're you're you're transporting your sweaty body across Iowa. I'm biking every day. 85 00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:42.480 This is camping every night. So I mean, I'm I'm gonna use 86 00:07:42.519 --> 00:07:46.279 some of what we learned tonight. I'm gonna be sitting around campfires with strangers. 87 00:07:46.360 --> 00:07:47.800 Yeah, I'm gonna scare the shit out of them, that's right. 88 00:07:47.959 --> 00:07:53.519 And I'm gonna be sitting at home with my sweaty body and not editing because 89 00:07:53.639 --> 00:07:58.360 because this will be editing taken care of. Yeah, I'll probably be playing 90 00:07:58.759 --> 00:08:03.439 Mountain Blade band or something. It'll be pre edited or will be or preda 91 00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:09.319 wait, wait, wait, I've got a really good predator sign. You're 92 00:08:09.319 --> 00:08:16.199 ready for it? Okay, Oh, that's so much better than mine. 93 00:08:16.480 --> 00:08:18.439 What are these three red dots doing on my chest? Oh my god. 94 00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:24.399 Yeah. It's weird though that I can't just go straight to like the really 95 00:08:24.399 --> 00:08:33.200 good clicking sound. I have to like ease into it. Nope, not 96 00:08:33.320 --> 00:08:35.440 time, It didn't even make it there. Whatever. That's why being a 97 00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:37.600 predator so hard. If it was easy, everyone would be in the trees 98 00:08:37.639 --> 00:08:48.120 and invisible. Wait, turn it into invision. Oh yeah, yeah. 99 00:08:48.240 --> 00:08:54.639 Infrovision also has some problems with a sound filter. Tonight, we're gonna tell 100 00:08:54.720 --> 00:09:01.480 you can't fire ghost stories. Just keep rambling about bullshit. No second annual 101 00:09:01.600 --> 00:09:05.759 campfire ghost stories. Yep, yep, impress and scare your friends. We 102 00:09:05.399 --> 00:09:09.360 like telling ghost stories, um at least twice a year. At least. 103 00:09:09.399 --> 00:09:13.960 Sometimes you get a bonus in there at some point. But sometimes we throw 104 00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:18.960 a little yule log on that fire. Halloween, no brainer today, But 105 00:09:18.159 --> 00:09:22.720 camping when else? I mean, come on, you sit around and you 106 00:09:22.720 --> 00:09:26.480 you you put hot dogs and marshmallows on that fire, and then you scare 107 00:09:26.519 --> 00:09:37.840 the pants off each other. M and then you get into tense. No, 108 00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:39.600 you don't you know what I like? Uh? You know, my 109 00:09:39.600 --> 00:09:43.600 my my favorite uh thing is you know what I like about camping, What 110 00:09:45.039 --> 00:09:52.480 it's intense. See it's a pun because it's like intense, sounds like in 111 00:09:54.039 --> 00:09:58.159 like, how do you what? Is it a joke? Well, I'll 112 00:09:58.240 --> 00:10:01.159 walk you through this, Okay, it's like being you're in a tent. 113 00:10:01.720 --> 00:10:05.759 So we've got a few, uh, few scary stories. Oh so for 114 00:10:05.799 --> 00:10:09.919 you to tell him the dark? Yeah, Dave, you've got a couple. 115 00:10:09.080 --> 00:10:11.840 Oh yeah, I've got a couple. Each of them is an acoustic 116 00:10:11.879 --> 00:10:20.960 lobotomy. Yeah. And this year, this campfire story, I've got an 117 00:10:20.960 --> 00:10:26.279 original O Lord Lord and now I I tried that once, didn't like how 118 00:10:26.279 --> 00:10:31.200 it turned out. It was for our very first Halloween episode. It's it's 119 00:10:31.200 --> 00:10:35.320 in the archives. It's in the secret. Yeah, not the archives that 120 00:10:35.399 --> 00:10:39.120 you can access, but yeah, no, it's it's it's it's in the 121 00:10:39.360 --> 00:10:46.399 U. Whenever Dave Flora needs leverage archive, man, I often go to 122 00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:52.639 that archive and jump in it and swim around Scrooge mcducksky. Weird, you 123 00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:56.360 go swimming in my shame. It's just so big, there's so much in 124 00:10:56.480 --> 00:11:01.720 there, Like that's the iron I say, I have no shame and yet 125 00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:05.720 you get to swit in it. Yeah. Well, so so you didn't 126 00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:09.840 you didn't do it this time, But I took a swing at it because 127 00:11:09.960 --> 00:11:15.360 mostly because I couldn't find many many good ones. I don't I love that. 128 00:11:15.519 --> 00:11:18.600 See that's the roll up your sleeves. None of these you're pleasing. 129 00:11:18.600 --> 00:11:22.000 I'm gonna make my own flannel shirt. I don't know why I would think 130 00:11:22.039 --> 00:11:24.399 mine would be any better than than any of the ones I'm reading, because 131 00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:28.559 getting good at what you do, Flora right right. I never say that 132 00:11:28.600 --> 00:11:33.759 what I did was right. Scary stories though, Um so I've got one 133 00:11:33.759 --> 00:11:37.039 of my own, got a poem for you, keeping that tradition alive. 134 00:11:37.919 --> 00:11:41.159 And uh, and I've got a no look, I've got a no look 135 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:43.759 story. That's what I bring. A look story, no look story. 136 00:11:43.000 --> 00:11:48.399 Uh, got got a bad one, got a you know, a decent 137 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:52.240 one. Hopefully we've accessed from our usual sources. And I've even added this 138 00:11:52.320 --> 00:11:56.320 year creepy pasta. Oh yeah, to pull from You learned that from the 139 00:11:56.399 --> 00:12:03.320 Enderman? Yeah, yeah, Slenderman whatever thing, don't forget. Don't forget 140 00:12:03.360 --> 00:12:07.720 if you ever want to ride a pun in it is a deep water like 141 00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:13.320 Slenderman town. I'm just just it's like a stock pond. You will not 142 00:12:13.360 --> 00:12:18.559 go wrong. Um So my question to you, yeah, is who begins 143 00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:26.320 this cavalcade of creepy campfires cacophony. I think I'm gonna start it off. 144 00:12:26.360 --> 00:12:28.559 Well, if you don't want to, then I think I will. Um, 145 00:12:28.679 --> 00:12:35.960 let's start with Okay, let's start with a creepy pasta story then that 146 00:12:37.080 --> 00:12:46.519 I found called the serene psychistthing with me. No, this is gonna be 147 00:12:46.559 --> 00:12:56.080 for you to use on your fun little ride across Iowa, as the Algonquin 148 00:12:56.159 --> 00:13:01.200 called it whenever they got lost heading back home from Chicago. Are you ready? 149 00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:03.840 Yeah? Well, I mean I hope so should be all right you, 150 00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:09.440 Butterby. I used to live in Cambridge a while back, which is 151 00:13:09.440 --> 00:13:13.879 a small city smack in the middle of England, best known for the university 152 00:13:13.039 --> 00:13:18.919 that is as large as the city itself. Okay, quit bragging, but 153 00:13:20.360 --> 00:13:24.080 I was there for work. Wait a minute, Florid, I don't before 154 00:13:24.200 --> 00:13:26.320 we get to this stuff. I'm sorry, I gotta ask you this. 155 00:13:26.919 --> 00:13:33.159 If the person's from Cambridge, which is in England, all right, okay, 156 00:13:33.320 --> 00:13:39.720 DOOKI and honestly, well, firth Vandyke scale, Let's firth this one 157 00:13:39.039 --> 00:13:43.440 my scale, my rules all right, Firth it That's what I was just 158 00:13:43.480 --> 00:13:48.279 gonna ask. Yeah, full firth my scale so so towards that end. 159 00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:52.600 Not full firth. I mean, I don't Yeah, I guess from Cambridge, 160 00:13:52.639 --> 00:13:56.799 so i'd say, I'd say, like, keep it hard in the 161 00:13:56.799 --> 00:14:03.440 Firth area, all right. I had a few friends around the city, 162 00:14:03.639 --> 00:14:07.600 in Cambridge being a very green city, it is the Cambridge Way to cycle 163 00:14:07.720 --> 00:14:13.159 round to most places. I would mostly visit my friends in the evenings and 164 00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:16.960 we would all stay up till late, not socializing or drinking, but playing 165 00:14:18.039 --> 00:14:24.120 games, musing philosophically, and finding other means of continuing our existence. On 166 00:14:24.159 --> 00:14:30.320 the nights this continued for particularly long. I would have to cycle back halfway 167 00:14:30.320 --> 00:14:35.000 across the city, often in cold. This was usually quite pleasant. Cambridge 168 00:14:35.240 --> 00:14:39.480 is quite a safe city and I generally enjoy being out in the dark alone 169 00:14:39.879 --> 00:14:43.200 under the yellow of the night lights. It was one of those nights, 170 00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:48.679 though, that I met with what felt to me like the devil himself. 171 00:14:48.200 --> 00:14:56.320 It was what I had just had this image of, like this proper English 172 00:14:56.399 --> 00:15:01.960 chap back, very straight, riding his bicycle, and then John Love, 173 00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:09.240 it's in a double costume. Hello, Hello, it's me John Love. 174 00:15:09.320 --> 00:15:15.399 It. It was on another one of those long, quiet, lamp lit 175 00:15:15.519 --> 00:15:22.360 roads on a particularly chilly February evening. I was halfway home and slightly wary 176 00:15:22.399 --> 00:15:26.600 of it. Being three am, this was late even by my standards, 177 00:15:28.039 --> 00:15:31.759 and this put me somewhat on edge. My senses seem to be more alert 178 00:15:31.879 --> 00:15:37.559 than usual, and I was unconsciously keeping an eye on every single shadow on 179 00:15:37.600 --> 00:15:46.320 the street, trying to avoid as many alcohol fueled incidents as I could fashion 180 00:15:46.600 --> 00:15:52.360 jankavnor, oh, no, thank you? You would no, no, 181 00:15:52.440 --> 00:15:56.360 sir, no find a bed? Please? Would you be a cup? 182 00:15:56.399 --> 00:16:06.919 By chance? You're not English? Did I? Boy? Boy? As 183 00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:10.519 I turned into a street that told me I was not very far from where 184 00:16:10.559 --> 00:16:15.639 my apartment was located, I started to feel much more peaceful. It was 185 00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:18.879 halfway across the street, biking at my leisure that I noticed a man in 186 00:16:18.919 --> 00:16:26.200 a dark jacket cycling around twenty feet in front of me. My senses suddenly 187 00:16:26.200 --> 00:16:30.039 sharpened again due to the simple fact of him seeming to appear out of nowhere. 188 00:16:32.279 --> 00:16:34.320 Perhaps I had not been paying as much attention as I thought I was. 189 00:16:36.200 --> 00:16:40.759 The man was cycling quite slowly, and even while barely peddling, I 190 00:16:40.919 --> 00:16:45.600 slowly started to draw near him. It also started to get quieter on the 191 00:16:45.639 --> 00:16:49.159 street. Took me a few moments to realize that I could not hear the 192 00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:56.919 man's bike or the mini mechanical clicking sounds my bike often made. The quiet 193 00:16:56.279 --> 00:17:00.840 was eerie. That should have warned me. But not heeding what now seems 194 00:17:00.879 --> 00:17:06.759 like a very obvious warning, I kept cycling closer to the man. I 195 00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:11.960 found his speed quite peculiar, even more so his dark attire, and so 196 00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:17.119 as I drew nearly level, I glanced at his body. I say his 197 00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:22.599 body, because his face was not very human. It was made of what 198 00:17:22.759 --> 00:17:26.599 can only be described as a shadow, and with eyes that seemed like the 199 00:17:26.759 --> 00:17:33.440 very depths of hell itself. One look left me lifeless, motionless, speechless, 200 00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:37.640 riding down the slope right next to him, too scared to move, 201 00:17:37.960 --> 00:17:44.599 too scared, not entirely motionless, then in motion, motionless, and worst 202 00:17:44.640 --> 00:17:48.759 of all, I was unable to take my eyes off his This wise closed, 203 00:17:49.319 --> 00:17:53.279 he said, in a growling voice that made my hair stand on end. 204 00:17:55.000 --> 00:18:00.240 This wise clothed, go back, That was all he said. With 205 00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:04.279 those words. The hold that his eyes had over me was broken. I 206 00:18:04.400 --> 00:18:07.519 managed to find some life in my hands, and I breaked as hot as 207 00:18:07.559 --> 00:18:11.599 I could, letting him go ahead of me. He continued to cycle ahead 208 00:18:11.640 --> 00:18:18.240 at his eagerly slow pace, and then as mysteriously as he appeared, he 209 00:18:18.359 --> 00:18:22.319 was gone. He simply disappeared, unhurriedly into the shadows at the end of 210 00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:26.640 the street. The rest of the way back home for me was a fight 211 00:18:26.680 --> 00:18:30.200 against my own body. My mind would not stop reeling from the horror it 212 00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:34.880 had just experienced. In my heart, but in my throat, unwilling to 213 00:18:34.920 --> 00:18:40.480 go down, I could not think, I could not rationalize. I had 214 00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:44.319 no refuge. I could hear her again. I could hear the wind in 215 00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:48.039 my ears, the clunking of my petal as I cycled as fast as I 216 00:18:48.039 --> 00:18:52.359 could, and unfortunately for me, I could hear someone riding a bike a 217 00:18:52.359 --> 00:18:57.680 little behind me. When I finally got home, I threw my bike and 218 00:18:57.759 --> 00:19:03.680 rushed into my first for lot, refusing to look at what was surely there. 219 00:19:03.000 --> 00:19:07.279 I could still hear footsteps following me up the stairs, but I refused 220 00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:11.720 to acknowledge them. As I rushed into my room as fast as I could 221 00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:15.240 and into the refuge of my bed, I could still see the shadows under 222 00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:21.440 my front door. As I finally decided to go to bed, they refused 223 00:19:21.720 --> 00:19:32.640 to go away. Uh here's a tip for your life. Sometimes you don't 224 00:19:32.640 --> 00:19:36.480 get to go to bed, and when there's when there's ethereal shadows gathered around 225 00:19:36.559 --> 00:19:38.200 your door, that's one of those times. That's one of the times that 226 00:19:38.319 --> 00:19:41.559 you were like, well, this is happening, it's time to stay up 227 00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:47.480 and freak out all night. I refused to take responsibility for a freak out 228 00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:53.119 for his own. That's the most dangerous. This was um on Creepy Pasta 229 00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:59.880 by Salmon Shahid Khan. I feel like I should say that, so I'm 230 00:19:59.880 --> 00:20:07.920 not like ripping somebody off, so right. So wow, So the spectral 231 00:20:07.960 --> 00:20:15.559 bike ride, that's it up serene cyclists. Also lots of humble brags on 232 00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:18.000 the front end of that story. You know you gotta get You could have 233 00:20:18.039 --> 00:20:25.200 just picked it up. I was riding home one night. That was a 234 00:20:25.200 --> 00:20:29.079 good one though. That was a that's that's a tale of cyclists. Hell 235 00:20:29.480 --> 00:20:33.079 yeah, so uh. One thing I was wondering during that story though, 236 00:20:33.799 --> 00:20:37.559 when he said this way is closed. Do you think the guy like just 237 00:20:37.599 --> 00:20:41.440 disappeared as and he was never there or do you think he liked Platform nine 238 00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:44.559 in three quarters. Like if the guy had kept riding with him, they 239 00:20:44.599 --> 00:20:47.480 both would have gone somewhere. Yeah, they would have ended up in like 240 00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:52.559 Sandworld with the beetlejuice and the sandworms and they got the guy would have just 241 00:20:52.559 --> 00:20:57.319 turned and said, oh yo, ass is mine now. Yeah. It's 242 00:20:57.359 --> 00:21:03.279 what's weird about that is that there's no well we don't know the consequence, 243 00:21:03.559 --> 00:21:07.759 no for for going because he did stop and I guess go the other way. 244 00:21:08.039 --> 00:21:12.119 But then it followed him. Yeah, like yeah, it tried to 245 00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:15.279 warn him off. Then it's like, don't go this way, I'm gonna 246 00:21:15.279 --> 00:21:18.920 follow you. And maybe he would have gone to Cambridge Hell, which is 247 00:21:18.960 --> 00:21:27.759 just like Cambridge but all the tea is cold. No, I don't know. 248 00:21:29.680 --> 00:21:32.640 Wow, all right, I'm ready. I'm ready to throw down though. 249 00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:36.000 All right, all right, it's your turn. Good because I'm about 250 00:21:36.000 --> 00:21:41.160 to scare it up. I'm about to scare the man. I love that 251 00:21:41.240 --> 00:21:45.720 video. That is one of the best videos ever in the history of music 252 00:21:45.799 --> 00:21:51.000 videos. The part where a woman shotgun cocks her hips and then crotch drops 253 00:21:51.079 --> 00:21:56.440 that guy through a floor. Oh man, it's just great. Tartu. 254 00:21:59.200 --> 00:22:02.119 Wow, I didn't think that little John could get me back on board, 255 00:22:02.119 --> 00:22:06.480 But he did it. Did any of you think that? Did you think 256 00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:08.440 you were gonna hear a little John when you turn this podcast on? Study 257 00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:12.880 questions for interested listeners? Did you think little John was gonna come up? 258 00:22:14.759 --> 00:22:22.000 All? Right? This one's called white eyes? Wait wide or white white? 259 00:22:22.440 --> 00:22:29.079 Oh? White eyes? Quite? White eyes? White? Right? 260 00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:33.559 All right? You ready for this? Oh? I can't be now I'm 261 00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:37.200 reading this. Oh really, I wasn't that last one? So memory? 262 00:22:37.319 --> 00:22:42.279 Dude, you see ma'am alrie, have you heard the story of the white 263 00:22:42.279 --> 00:22:47.480 Eyes. No, it's a tale that some say is too terrible to tell. 264 00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:52.359 Don't tell it. Sorry, no, no, no, it's my 265 00:22:52.480 --> 00:22:57.720 job. Dude. You're right, But pull your seat closer to the campfire 266 00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:02.240 and I will reveal the terror fining legend. There's some license where there's an 267 00:23:02.240 --> 00:23:06.519 assumption of a campfire. There's a seat and a seat, yeah, the 268 00:23:06.519 --> 00:23:08.880 one that could be pulled. I don't know. Maybe you're camping with Chuck 269 00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:11.240 Norris. He could pull up a seat if it was still, if it 270 00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:15.519 was a tree stump. Yeah yeah. Oh, and this this story is 271 00:23:15.559 --> 00:23:22.079 from where all terror lives. The San Bernardino Mountains contain a lot of wilderness 272 00:23:22.119 --> 00:23:29.440 regions which saw substantial activity about a hundred years ago. Here miners and laggers, 273 00:23:29.519 --> 00:23:33.519 and by here I mean they're miners and laggers work to bring materials down 274 00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:37.559 to the Los Angeles basin. But like most industries of that time, there 275 00:23:37.599 --> 00:23:41.480 was a high profit motive in workers lives were not as important as they are 276 00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:49.279 now. Just ask the Qatari that are making the soccer stadiums. One day, 277 00:23:49.319 --> 00:23:53.440 a mine tunnel collapsed, trapping a number of men within. But they 278 00:23:53.440 --> 00:23:57.960 were able to survive after a fashion by drinking water which seeped into the tunnels 279 00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:07.240 and eating rap mushrooms. And they're dead coworkers. They worked from within to 280 00:24:07.359 --> 00:24:11.119 dig themselves out, confident that on the other side others were digging from the 281 00:24:11.119 --> 00:24:15.359 outside in. But the mining company was not known for remembering missing miners, 282 00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:22.680 just hiring miners as miners. They were under age, and they had to 283 00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:30.160 work in tunnelsphontes. Well, it took them a while, but they finally 284 00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:36.599 managed to dig themselves out. Then the formerly trapped miners found two surprises. 285 00:24:37.519 --> 00:24:41.039 First, they had lived in darkness for a long period of time and they 286 00:24:41.079 --> 00:24:45.960 could no longer stand the sunlight, and their eyes were pure white, no 287 00:24:47.079 --> 00:24:52.720 color except for their pupils, which were dilated. Second, the mining company 288 00:24:52.759 --> 00:24:56.960 had not bothered to even try and dig them out. It was then they 289 00:24:56.960 --> 00:25:00.759 made a pact these men to take revenge on those who had abandoned them. 290 00:25:00.880 --> 00:25:04.599 Police called to the mind found the owner and all the managers of the mining 291 00:25:04.640 --> 00:25:10.160 company dead. Soon after, the mining company went out of business. No 292 00:25:10.200 --> 00:25:12.599 one was willing to work in those mountains, and even groups of men at 293 00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:17.440 night were at risk. The rumor had it that the white eyes were out 294 00:25:17.519 --> 00:25:22.160 for blood. Mysterious instances of men being killed in the mountains occurred. These 295 00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:29.000 men were usually found mauld bloody and torn. Close examination showed teeth marks all 296 00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:33.119 over their bodies. One man was even beaten by his arm, which had 297 00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:38.920 been torn off at the shoulder. Insult to injury. Yeah, when when 298 00:25:38.920 --> 00:25:44.440 just removing the arm is not enough. Stopped hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. 299 00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:49.720 This isn't funny. And then as he bled out, they pinned him 300 00:25:49.759 --> 00:25:53.880 to the ground and went and just kept dripping a lugie over his face. 301 00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:59.759 Now, since this happened about a hundred years ago, and since only men 302 00:25:59.839 --> 00:26:03.559 were working in the mines, there should be no more white eyes around. 303 00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:08.880 So we're safe, aren't we. No, we're not. For you see, 304 00:26:08.920 --> 00:26:12.880 several years ago, a hiker was found mulled to death on the trail, 305 00:26:14.440 --> 00:26:18.480 and the corner said the teeth marks he found on the body looked curiously 306 00:26:18.759 --> 00:26:33.640 human. Yeah, time to change those pants, motherfucker. Yea be yea 307 00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:45.279 bet Oh he got you got you, you got got, You've done got 308 00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:52.559 Oh man got in him? Oh you got there you go. That's the 309 00:26:52.039 --> 00:26:59.759 white eyes, white eyes, Lazier blanc. That's that's pretty cool. The 310 00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:07.680 for eyes as laser. Yeah, well lazier, well, lazier. The 311 00:27:07.720 --> 00:27:18.480 French prize is laser. Okay, So how about I do the old original? 312 00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:22.640 Oh, bring it back home, bring the pride home. We'll see 313 00:27:22.359 --> 00:27:33.440 see if you can be proud of it? I go indeed? Um, 314 00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:37.160 all right, you're ready for this? I it's only a fool would say 315 00:27:37.240 --> 00:27:42.000 yes, But I'm as prepared as I can be. My story, which 316 00:27:42.039 --> 00:27:55.839 I have pinned with my own fingers, it's called gros well wait wait, 317 00:27:55.880 --> 00:27:59.200 wait, you know it's gonna be great. My knowledge that this is your 318 00:27:59.240 --> 00:28:02.640 story, me dumping on it, just like we do all the other stories. 319 00:28:07.559 --> 00:28:11.640 No, you're gonna get way more respect than we give to anyone else. 320 00:28:11.400 --> 00:28:18.079 Oh maybe all right. James lived in a modest studio not far from 321 00:28:18.119 --> 00:28:22.720 downtown Chicago. He made a decent living as a data entry clerk. Not 322 00:28:22.920 --> 00:28:26.480 his ideal job, but it put food on the table and allowed him to 323 00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:30.920 save a little extra from time to time. He'd worked hard for four solid 324 00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:36.400 years, never taking what would be considered a real vacation. In fact, 325 00:28:36.440 --> 00:28:40.200 he would only take time off because his place of work made him due to 326 00:28:40.240 --> 00:28:44.720 policy. Even then, he would sit at home and check in remotely from 327 00:28:44.759 --> 00:28:48.720 time to time. One of his co workers finally told him, James, 328 00:28:48.759 --> 00:28:52.519 you work so much, you got to take some time off. Why don't 329 00:28:52.559 --> 00:28:56.079 you get out of the city for a bit. It can really reinvigorate a 330 00:28:56.119 --> 00:29:00.400 person. As James thought about it, he realized he was feeling a run 331 00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:03.640 down, and just the day before he had snapped at a particularly rude bus 332 00:29:03.799 --> 00:29:11.559 driver whoa yeah, cta bro. Perhaps getting away for a bit was a 333 00:29:11.559 --> 00:29:15.759 smart idea, he thought. So he planned a camping trip and budgeted some 334 00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:18.839 money from savings for the gear and such that he would need. He decided 335 00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:22.960 to head up to Wisconsin during the next week to enjoy some of the beautiful 336 00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:26.279 forests the southern part of the state had to offer. It is beautiful in 337 00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:30.240 Wisconsin. Next week came and James had all of his gear packed into a 338 00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:36.680 rental suv and he headed out of the city towards Wisconsin and an area great 339 00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:41.039 for camping, which a co worker had suggested to him. It felt good 340 00:29:41.039 --> 00:29:42.880 to have the windows down and feel the wind and sun. As he drove 341 00:29:42.960 --> 00:29:47.880 up the interstate. He could almost feel himself getting happier with each mile he 342 00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:51.920 drove. He stopped at the famous Cheese Castle on the border of Wisconsin and 343 00:29:52.039 --> 00:29:56.160 Illinois and looked at the selection of cheese cards for a snack. As he 344 00:29:56.200 --> 00:30:00.640 picked up a package of regular cheddar cards, his eyes fell on the halopeno 345 00:30:00.799 --> 00:30:07.079 Kurds not too far away. Oh No. Normally, not very adventurous, 346 00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:11.640 James would have been on his way, but this time he thought to himself, 347 00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:17.200 why not, I'm on vacation, and he switched the packages and bought 348 00:30:17.240 --> 00:30:22.559 the halapeno Kurds, feeling very pleased with himself. While it may have seemed 349 00:30:22.599 --> 00:30:26.920 like a silly thing, it was a big deal for James, who was 350 00:30:26.079 --> 00:30:30.200 starting to come out of his shell a bit As he drove on into the 351 00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:34.359 state, he found the highway his friends suggested, and drove a good piece 352 00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:41.200 down it as the signs of civilization gradually diminished around him. After a while, 353 00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:44.960 he saw something ahead, just off the side of the road, covered 354 00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:48.839 by overgrown trees, but still visible if you were paying attention. It was 355 00:30:48.920 --> 00:30:52.640 a sign. He slowed a little and as he passed he barely made out 356 00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:57.799 the words Brock Camp. James slowed to a stop, put the suv in 357 00:30:57.839 --> 00:31:02.759 reverse, and back up to the sign. Through the tree limbs, he 358 00:31:02.839 --> 00:31:07.000 made out Brock Lake camping in wildlife area. Then he noticed a dirt road 359 00:31:07.319 --> 00:31:11.799 that he hadn't seen as he passed, leading off by the sign. This 360 00:31:11.880 --> 00:31:15.880 wasn't the site his friend had suggested. In fact, that site was almost 361 00:31:15.880 --> 00:31:18.160 ten miles on up the road, and by all accounts, it was a 362 00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:23.359 pretty low maintenance campsite. Some plots were even outfitted with electrical outlets, he 363 00:31:23.400 --> 00:31:27.079 was told. As he stared at the sign, a feeling of adventure came 364 00:31:27.119 --> 00:31:32.119 over him, and he threw the suv into drive and pulled onto the old 365 00:31:32.119 --> 00:31:36.000 dirt road, thinking to himself, I'm on vacation. I'd like that, 366 00:31:36.079 --> 00:31:38.279 he said, it like a crabby old man. I'm on vacation. There's 367 00:31:38.319 --> 00:31:44.200 what I'm doing. One are these pokemon? After driving the bad but navigable 368 00:31:44.279 --> 00:31:48.079 road, he came across a sparse little clearing ringed by huge trees and sitting 369 00:31:48.119 --> 00:31:52.200 off the road a short distance. Perfect, he thought, and he pulled 370 00:31:52.200 --> 00:31:56.640 the suv over, parked and proceeded to unload. He spent the next couple 371 00:31:56.680 --> 00:32:00.599 hours setting up a great little camp site, having watched many you tube videos 372 00:32:00.599 --> 00:32:02.680 the day before on how to do so. By the time he was done, 373 00:32:02.720 --> 00:32:07.319 it was dusk and he felt accomplished and relaxed. Watching the fire he 374 00:32:07.319 --> 00:32:10.960 had made, dance and licked the air. The summer night was full of 375 00:32:12.039 --> 00:32:16.519 sounds and warm, and the night slowly filled the forest. Sitting with a 376 00:32:16.519 --> 00:32:22.440 book by the fire, James felt content, but oddly chilly. He stood 377 00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:25.880 and moved a bit closer to the fire, but he felt goose bumps and 378 00:32:25.960 --> 00:32:30.119 even shivered. Odd, he thought, and he got a rain jacket from 379 00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:35.599 his bag to put on. Feeling better, he resumed reading, but stopped 380 00:32:35.640 --> 00:32:39.559 mid sentence when he realized he couldn't hear anything but the sound of the fire 381 00:32:39.640 --> 00:32:45.720 next to him. No crickets, chirped, no owls hooted. It was 382 00:32:45.759 --> 00:32:50.960 as if the forest had frozen. James looked around the site where the firelight 383 00:32:51.039 --> 00:32:53.839 reached the edge of the woods. He saw nothing but the flicker of light 384 00:32:53.880 --> 00:32:59.480 reflected off the trees and shadows dance here and there. As he turned his 385 00:32:59.519 --> 00:33:04.640 attention back to his book, the thought popped into his mind that there were 386 00:33:04.640 --> 00:33:08.359 two tiny yellow spots by a tree he had just been looking at. So 387 00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:13.559 he looked up once more to see nothing but shadows playing across tree trunks, 388 00:33:14.559 --> 00:33:19.960 diving and ducking. The shadows were weirdly comforting to watch as they moved effortlessly 389 00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:23.359 from tree to tree, almost as if they were working in concert to liquidly 390 00:33:23.480 --> 00:33:28.599 slip behind each tree just at the edge of the fire's light. Frowning, 391 00:33:28.799 --> 00:33:32.279 James could swear he followed a shadow melt like this from where he thought he 392 00:33:32.279 --> 00:33:37.359 saw the yellow spots, almost a complete one hundred and eighty degrees around the 393 00:33:37.359 --> 00:33:42.359 campsite. Feeling uncomfortable, he reached for some small logs and tossed them on 394 00:33:42.400 --> 00:33:46.359 the fire in the hopes the light would grow his little campfire bubble. He 395 00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:52.599 watched the same spot for minutes, then started feeling silly. I've never been 396 00:33:52.640 --> 00:33:57.279 camping. My mind is playing tricks, he thought, But still no sound 397 00:33:57.359 --> 00:34:01.680 around him save the crackle of the fire. He tried reading but couldn't focus. 398 00:34:02.799 --> 00:34:07.519 He scratched an itch on his shoulder and stared at his book, then 399 00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:13.239 an itch on his other shoulder, then an itch on his upper arm, 400 00:34:13.360 --> 00:34:16.400 and an itch by his collar bones. Alarmed, he unzipped his jacket and 401 00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:22.679 lifted his shirt at the place of the irritation to see nothing. His skin 402 00:34:22.960 --> 00:34:28.639 had felt like something was irritating it, not a biting or pricking, or 403 00:34:28.679 --> 00:34:32.519 like a crawling sensation, but there was nothing there, and the itching had 404 00:34:32.559 --> 00:34:38.199 stopped. James got up, grabbed his bag and pulled out a small knife 405 00:34:38.480 --> 00:34:44.199 for comfort's sake, and climbed into his tent, closing it behind him. 406 00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:47.360 He sat for a long time, not thinking, just listening and trying to 407 00:34:47.400 --> 00:34:54.159 figure things out. He awoke to birds chirping and sounds of the forest the 408 00:34:54.199 --> 00:34:58.920 next day. I must have passed out, he thought, hun zipping the 409 00:34:58.960 --> 00:35:01.239 tent. M site was just as he left it, except for the remains 410 00:35:01.239 --> 00:35:06.360 of the fire. He chuckled softly, remembering how startled he had been the 411 00:35:06.440 --> 00:35:10.039 night before. And how it was obviously a tired mind in an unknown environment. 412 00:35:10.920 --> 00:35:15.320 He spent the day hiking and enjoying being outside on a warm, sunny 413 00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:19.079 summer day. As the sun was going down, he was headed back to 414 00:35:19.159 --> 00:35:23.920 camp and he started feeling a chill. Must be a cold wind blowing through, 415 00:35:23.960 --> 00:35:28.639 he thought, and continued on, thinking of a nice fire he would 416 00:35:28.639 --> 00:35:34.199 get started back at camp. As he stepped on a twig, the sound 417 00:35:34.320 --> 00:35:37.840 echoed through the woods, and once again he realized there was no other sounds. 418 00:35:39.159 --> 00:35:44.920 Standing still, he started feeling uneasy, the thoughts of the previous night 419 00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:49.800 rushing back to him. This time there was no fire to cast shadows, 420 00:35:49.960 --> 00:35:53.679 but the waning light of day gave form to some anyway. He scanned the 421 00:35:53.719 --> 00:35:59.199 trees around him, seeing no movement or anything odd. He decided to keep 422 00:35:59.239 --> 00:36:02.880 walking as he was only fifty yards or so from camp, Wincing at every 423 00:36:02.920 --> 00:36:07.840 twig snapped and every crunch underfoot. He wished he could just float along and 424 00:36:07.920 --> 00:36:15.760 become small to not draw attention, but attention from what passing a heavy bit 425 00:36:15.840 --> 00:36:20.719 of underbrush. He stopped again, knowing he had seen something in there, 426 00:36:21.280 --> 00:36:29.719 two small yellow points orbs eyes. He looked at the brush, scanning all 427 00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:35.760 around it, but seeing nothing. Thoroughly troubled, he tried to rationalize what 428 00:36:35.920 --> 00:36:39.159 he knew. He had just seen an animal looking at him, maybe a 429 00:36:39.280 --> 00:36:45.159 badger. He was Wisconsin, after all, but somehow that didn't seem right. 430 00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:54.400 I could think it was Wisconsin. He started walking again, faster and 431 00:36:54.519 --> 00:36:59.639 faster, and then felt a crawling sensation on his shoulders. He brushed his 432 00:36:59.639 --> 00:37:02.719 shoulders, but still felt it on his arm. He thought maybe he had 433 00:37:02.960 --> 00:37:07.920 hit a bees' nest as he started running through the darkening woods, but he 434 00:37:07.960 --> 00:37:12.639 saw nothing on his arms as they itched and crawled like many small feet, 435 00:37:12.719 --> 00:37:16.920 making their way down to his wrists, down his chest. He burst through 436 00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:22.440 to his campsite and tripped over his backpack, falling painfully beside the fire pit 437 00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:25.800 he'd made. Scrambling around to his bag, he fished out his flashlight, 438 00:37:27.119 --> 00:37:30.519 dropping it as he fumbled to turn it on. He picked it up and 439 00:37:30.559 --> 00:37:32.639 switched it on, aiming it at the trees where he had just emerged. 440 00:37:34.679 --> 00:37:38.440 The small spotlight showed nothing but dark woods as he slowly began to regain his 441 00:37:38.480 --> 00:37:45.599 composure, Then he noticed his body didn't feel irritated anymore, no feeling of 442 00:37:45.679 --> 00:37:50.119 insect legs or itching. He sat for a minute, catching his breath, 443 00:37:50.519 --> 00:37:55.360 staring at the trees. Then a quick, almost imperceptible flash came from just 444 00:37:55.480 --> 00:38:01.360 beside the spotlight, A reflective flash, A flash, he realized as he 445 00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:07.719 moved his light over that came from two yellow, deadened eyes in the darkness, 446 00:38:07.840 --> 00:38:13.440 and then they blinked. James shot up, dropping the light and grabbing 447 00:38:13.480 --> 00:38:16.599 his bag and running straight to the suv. Fumbling his keys, he jumped 448 00:38:16.639 --> 00:38:21.559 in, got the key in the ignition, and started the engine. Then 449 00:38:21.599 --> 00:38:25.519 the itching began again, crawling across his shoulders, quickly down his arms and 450 00:38:25.679 --> 00:38:30.199 chest. He put the suv in, reversed and looked in the rear view 451 00:38:30.199 --> 00:38:35.159 mirror, only to see two yellow, deadened eyes staring from the backseat as 452 00:38:35.199 --> 00:38:50.000 his body itched and crawled with what felt like a thousand flies. Buzz buzz. 453 00:38:51.800 --> 00:38:54.760 Oh. I like that. That guy was not a competent camper. 454 00:38:57.239 --> 00:39:00.760 I think he did all the camping right, He just had a bad He 455 00:39:00.920 --> 00:39:06.400 picked the wrong thought. Yeah, that's that picked him, Poor James. 456 00:39:06.719 --> 00:39:10.360 Sorry, Jade, that sucks. It's like it's like Atlantis Morrisett. You 457 00:39:10.400 --> 00:39:14.199 know, he waited his whole damn life to take a vacation and then he 458 00:39:14.280 --> 00:39:27.519 got spectrally murdered. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think rack rack boom? 459 00:39:27.960 --> 00:39:30.400 Well done? That's well done, sir, that's that one. I applaud 460 00:39:30.480 --> 00:39:37.280 your literary talent. What do you could have used? More? Snarling badger 461 00:39:37.400 --> 00:39:43.440 sounds? All? Right, here we go, here's my no luck. 462 00:39:43.920 --> 00:39:46.039 Are you ready for this? I don't know if I gave me mean neither. 463 00:39:46.199 --> 00:39:50.840 Anyone who says they are as a liar a liar remember to start it 464 00:39:50.840 --> 00:39:53.159 out like a porno. Oh yeah, that's right. If I got the 465 00:39:53.199 --> 00:40:04.039 porno rule, this works out great. There was an old farmer in Arizona 466 00:40:04.159 --> 00:40:09.800 who owned the best farm in the area. Everybody says his crops were the 467 00:40:09.880 --> 00:40:15.360 best. People came from all over to buy their goods from. They came 468 00:40:15.559 --> 00:40:20.440 from all around. Whenever people asked him how he was able to grow such 469 00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:30.920 good quality crops, the old farmer would say, twist ending, terrifying story. 470 00:40:31.079 --> 00:40:40.639 Good night, the whole story. Jeez, Honestly, jess could be 471 00:40:40.679 --> 00:40:47.239 the end of a lot of terrifying stories. The old farmer would say it 472 00:40:47.320 --> 00:40:52.280 was all down to his scarecrow. That old scarecrow is the one I have 473 00:40:52.400 --> 00:40:57.519 to thank said the farmer. He makes sure no crows or critters or pests 474 00:40:57.559 --> 00:41:00.400 come near my crops. The old farmer had built the scarecrow himself, and 475 00:41:00.440 --> 00:41:04.840 it was a fearsome sight. He spent months working on it to make it 476 00:41:04.880 --> 00:41:07.760 as scary as possible. He knew how important it was to keep pests away 477 00:41:07.760 --> 00:41:12.280 from his crop, so he gave an enormous straw arms that stretched about six 478 00:41:12.360 --> 00:41:15.320 feet, and big long legs that made it as tall as a tree. 479 00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:20.960 But the scariest thing about his scarecrow was its head. The farmer carved it 480 00:41:21.039 --> 00:41:24.519 himself out of a huge pumpkin. He spent countless days and nights perfecting his 481 00:41:24.599 --> 00:41:32.000 design until it was perfect Redundantly, the scarecrow's face and head was so grotesque 482 00:41:32.039 --> 00:41:36.320 and ugly that even he was sometimes scared to look at it, but it 483 00:41:36.400 --> 00:41:39.920 was very effective, scaring away every rodent and bird that ventured near. If 484 00:41:39.920 --> 00:41:45.800 it was so scary, Like as he's carving it, he's like, no, 485 00:41:46.119 --> 00:41:52.760 no, I can't believe I'm doing this. I shouldn't finish. The 486 00:41:52.760 --> 00:41:58.480 neighboring farm was owned by two young men who were brothers named Josh and Harold. 487 00:41:59.039 --> 00:42:01.079 They were lazy and never did much work around the farm, which resulted 488 00:42:01.079 --> 00:42:06.039 in their crops being bad. They were jealous of the old farmer's success and 489 00:42:06.079 --> 00:42:09.119 were plotting against him. If they could drive him out of business, they 490 00:42:09.119 --> 00:42:15.679 could take over his farm and make more money. You dumb, few stupid 491 00:42:15.719 --> 00:42:19.800 bastards. So one night the brothers decided to sneak under the old farmer's land. 492 00:42:20.119 --> 00:42:22.159 They stole his prize scarecrow and brought it back to their own house, 493 00:42:22.159 --> 00:42:25.320 where they stuffed it into an old closet so no one would ever find it. 494 00:42:27.239 --> 00:42:30.320 The next day, the farmer woke up to find his hideous scarecrow missing 495 00:42:30.360 --> 00:42:34.079 and all of his crops being eaten by rats and crows. Now I'm we're 496 00:42:34.159 --> 00:42:39.599 so unafraid. Yeah, it's on. It's on, guys, Scarecrow's going 497 00:42:39.719 --> 00:42:44.360 come out. He fell to his knees and cried, knowing that his farm 498 00:42:44.400 --> 00:42:46.880 would soon be out of business. Meanwhile, the brothers, Josh and Harold 499 00:42:46.960 --> 00:42:51.920 were watching from their own property and couldn't help laughing out loud when they saw 500 00:42:51.960 --> 00:42:55.119 the old man's tears of grief. Hearing the laughter, the old farmer came 501 00:42:55.119 --> 00:42:59.480 over and asked them if they knew what happened to his scarecrow. The brothers 502 00:42:59.480 --> 00:43:02.320 looked him right in the eye and said they had no idea where his precious 503 00:43:02.360 --> 00:43:12.719 scarecrow might be. Of bitches, right, damn, I but you know 504 00:43:12.800 --> 00:43:15.840 I'll go out of business and have to sell my farm if I can't find 505 00:43:15.880 --> 00:43:20.199 my scarecrow, said the farmer. Josh just laughed in his face, saying, 506 00:43:20.639 --> 00:43:25.679 that's just your tough luck, Isn't it sucks to be you? Giggled 507 00:43:25.719 --> 00:43:34.960 Harold. The old farmer walked away slowly back to his house, his head 508 00:43:35.039 --> 00:43:38.440 hanging down in defeat and depression. That night, Josh and Harold had trouble 509 00:43:38.480 --> 00:43:43.280 sleeping, not because they felt any remorse, but because they couldn't get the 510 00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:46.519 image of the scarecrow's horrible, twisted face out of their minds. They decided 511 00:43:46.519 --> 00:43:50.679 they would never be able to sleep as long as that ugly pumpkinhead was in 512 00:43:50.719 --> 00:43:53.079 their house, so they got up and dragged the scarecrow out of the closet. 513 00:43:53.639 --> 00:43:58.239 Harold took a baseball bat and smashed the scarecrow's head to pieces until all 514 00:43:58.239 --> 00:44:04.119 that was left was little bits of pumpkins strewn around the floor. Delicious the 515 00:44:04.199 --> 00:44:07.920 brothers swept up the pumpkinheadpieces and threw them in the trash. Then they went 516 00:44:07.960 --> 00:44:10.480 back to bed and were soon fast asleep, having put all thoughts of the 517 00:44:10.519 --> 00:44:15.639 disgusting scarecrow face out of their heads. Sometime after midnight, Josh and Harold 518 00:44:15.639 --> 00:44:20.639 were awoken by the sounds of scratching and clung at their bedroom door. One 519 00:44:20.639 --> 00:44:24.679 of the dim was countin magers Ah, did you forget to put the dog 520 00:44:24.719 --> 00:44:30.800 out, asked Harold sleepily. Woo woo woo. We don't have a dog, 521 00:44:31.480 --> 00:44:38.119 stammered Josh from the same bed they were both sleeping. I think their 522 00:44:38.159 --> 00:44:43.320 last name was mcpoile. Suddenly the bedroom door burst open. An old, 523 00:44:43.440 --> 00:44:46.880 solitary, long straw arms snaked in through the opening. Then a second arm 524 00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:52.119 thrashed around, followed by two long stick legs. The two brothers were frozen 525 00:44:52.159 --> 00:44:55.360 in fear and could only look with horror as the headless scarecrow's body rose up 526 00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:59.679 on its long stick legs and its long arms reached out for them from the 527 00:44:59.760 --> 00:45:05.480 dark. Harold felt a cold, sinewy straw clothes around his ankle and screamed 528 00:45:05.480 --> 00:45:07.480 as loud as he could. He begged his brother Josh to help him, 529 00:45:07.559 --> 00:45:12.039 but Josh was already running out of the bedroom. Fleeing in terror. He 530 00:45:12.119 --> 00:45:14.880 ran down the hallway, crashed to the front door, and out into the 531 00:45:14.920 --> 00:45:17.639 moonlit road. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, puffing 532 00:45:17.639 --> 00:45:21.880 and panting and screaming at the top of his voice. As he passed his 533 00:45:21.920 --> 00:45:24.079 neighbor's house, he saw the old farmer standing at his gate. In the 534 00:45:24.119 --> 00:45:28.320 moonlight, he could see the farmer just staring at him, with a strange 535 00:45:28.360 --> 00:45:31.320 smile on his face. Josh kept running, his bare feet slapping against the 536 00:45:31.400 --> 00:45:36.320 rough gravel road. He glanced back over his shoulder and saw something that scared 537 00:45:36.360 --> 00:45:39.599 him to his very soul. He saw the scarecrow running along the road close 538 00:45:39.639 --> 00:45:45.000 behind him. It was gaining on him, coming closer and closer. And 539 00:45:45.119 --> 00:45:49.239 that wasn't all he saw. He noticed that the scarecrow had a brand new 540 00:45:49.320 --> 00:45:53.199 head, and it looked a lot like Harold. Was it Harold? Thankfully? 541 00:45:53.280 --> 00:46:00.480 No, the scarecrow had been very busy until midnight making a hair, 542 00:46:00.840 --> 00:46:08.800 a fake head out of macromay and plaster Paris Harold the scarecrow. Yeah, 543 00:46:08.840 --> 00:46:15.159 so that's the that's why, that's why you don't with American farmers. Yep, 544 00:46:15.480 --> 00:46:22.960 you hear that, mon Santo. You and your brother Jeff is Jeff 545 00:46:22.960 --> 00:46:30.079 and Harold mon Santo. Oh goodness, that's pretty good for no. Look 546 00:46:30.119 --> 00:46:32.639 though, I mean like the image of like running and then you just see 547 00:46:32.639 --> 00:46:38.559 this thing loping up behind you with his brother's head on there. I don't 548 00:46:38.559 --> 00:46:43.480 want to do it. No, you know what the worst part of that's 549 00:46:43.599 --> 00:46:53.440 the whole story is Glorie photos now with more unwanted snarling yep, shock value 550 00:46:53.719 --> 00:46:59.039 episode. All right, I am going to round us out here, oh, 551 00:46:59.199 --> 00:47:19.719 round us with a poem. Sometimes I do it. I'm run out 552 00:47:19.719 --> 00:47:22.280 of breath. I know, I completely run out because you need a lot 553 00:47:22.280 --> 00:47:27.119 of breath for that. Yeah, you do for you all you guys practicing 554 00:47:27.119 --> 00:47:32.719 at home, get your breath ready. This this pame is called the Scary 555 00:47:32.760 --> 00:47:45.079 Man. Oh yeah, the scary Man. Hell call me scary. In 556 00:47:45.119 --> 00:47:51.239 the desolate depth of a perilous place, the scary Man lurks with a snarl 557 00:47:51.280 --> 00:47:54.880 on his face. Never dare, never dare to approach his dark lair, 558 00:47:55.320 --> 00:48:00.719 for he's waiting, just waiting to get you. He skulks in the shadows, 559 00:48:00.840 --> 00:48:07.960 relentless and wild in his search for a tinder and edible child with his 560 00:48:07.119 --> 00:48:13.360 razor sharp claws and his slavering jaws, and he's waiting, just waiting to 561 00:48:13.400 --> 00:48:19.639 get you. Many have entered his dreary domain, but not even one has 562 00:48:19.679 --> 00:48:24.000 been heard from a game. They made a fine feast for this butchering beast, 563 00:48:24.440 --> 00:48:30.400 and he's waiting, just waiting to get you. In that sulfurous, 564 00:48:30.480 --> 00:48:37.440 sunless and sinister place, he'll crumple your bones in his scary embrace. Never 565 00:48:37.519 --> 00:48:42.360 never go near. If you hold your life dear, now you know what 566 00:48:42.480 --> 00:48:50.639 he'll do when he gets you. Ha ha, I like that. That's 567 00:48:50.639 --> 00:49:04.159 a poem for you and another thing for We're just good. We're big old 568 00:49:04.159 --> 00:49:15.119 dicks this episode. Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, very scary. I 569 00:49:15.159 --> 00:49:19.760 like that. So uh so take those take them out into the great outdoors 570 00:49:21.000 --> 00:49:25.119 memories and by heart, and then um regale your friends from wide Eyes to 571 00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:36.920 a thousand flies, from Scary Man Harold Scare Scarecrows to scarem Scaremons square. 572 00:49:37.159 --> 00:49:44.199 Yeah there you go. Pretty pretty good selection of double dog. Dare you 573 00:49:44.840 --> 00:49:50.280 triple double dog? All six dogs. That's a lot of dogs to dare, 574 00:49:51.039 --> 00:49:53.000 But one thing we do dare? What do you dare? We do? 575 00:49:53.159 --> 00:49:57.960 Dare to pun. Yeah, we're about to enter the true horror. 576 00:49:58.320 --> 00:50:02.480 Oh my gosh, the evening my first pun. Everyone smelled that one coming. 577 00:50:04.079 --> 00:50:07.159 Not everyone, do you hear the There's a ghost story about a guy 578 00:50:08.079 --> 00:50:13.800 from the Midwest, maybe maybe even Chicago, which one. His name was 579 00:50:14.440 --> 00:50:22.280 John, Oh, John, And he went camping in Iowa, and um, 580 00:50:22.400 --> 00:50:24.440 he thought that it wasn't abandon he thought it was far from civilization. 581 00:50:24.559 --> 00:50:29.400 But it turns out he was wrong. When the first night he was there, 582 00:50:29.480 --> 00:50:32.239 he would he would get these these kind of pangs, these feelings in 583 00:50:32.320 --> 00:50:36.440 his gut, and then you know, he would just kind of calm down, 584 00:50:36.559 --> 00:50:39.440 drink some water, and they'd go away. The next morning he went 585 00:50:39.440 --> 00:50:45.679 out for a hike, and this feeling came back. And he came back 586 00:50:45.679 --> 00:50:49.119 and he realized that he wasn't alone in the woods. Well, no, 587 00:50:50.079 --> 00:50:52.840 because there was some kindly people from Iowa there. And when he got back 588 00:50:52.840 --> 00:50:59.320 to the campsite, there was a thousand pies to eat, one thousand pies, 589 00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:07.199 and then he was all eating them rudely in the manner of a Chicago 590 00:51:07.280 --> 00:51:09.119 And I thought you were gonna I thought you were gonna say. Since he 591 00:51:09.159 --> 00:51:14.599 was in Iowa, there was a thousand Hawkeyes. Oh maybe you don't know, 592 00:51:15.480 --> 00:51:22.360 Okay, scary, this is getting scarier by the minute. Well I 593 00:51:22.440 --> 00:51:27.760 heard this, U, I heard. I heard tale of a group of 594 00:51:27.800 --> 00:51:34.320 miners out in California who after a hard day's work, they like to come 595 00:51:34.360 --> 00:51:39.760 home and uh, and then they'd switch on the old Netflix. Who wouldn't 596 00:51:39.800 --> 00:51:47.760 and they just binge on Breaking Bad nice ye, But the thing is they 597 00:51:47.840 --> 00:51:52.440 stayed watching that show for so long. People people couldn't find him for a 598 00:51:52.440 --> 00:51:57.079 while, oh jeu. And then they found him. They found him in 599 00:51:57.119 --> 00:52:01.400 their homes and they looked at him and they realized they had Walter White eyes. 600 00:52:01.599 --> 00:52:05.800 Yeah, I smelled that one. I smelled that one coming down the 601 00:52:05.800 --> 00:52:10.039 pike. I think we've all been there with a breaking back at one point 602 00:52:10.119 --> 00:52:17.760 or another. Did you ever hear the story um of an agricultural bend. 603 00:52:19.079 --> 00:52:24.840 Okay, seems a farmer needed to make a device to keep everything, keep 604 00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:31.760 the critters and crows and and everything away. And he thought, well, 605 00:52:31.800 --> 00:52:37.159 the best way to keep these wild animals away is to to put something in 606 00:52:37.199 --> 00:52:43.320 his in his fields, like well, something so terrifying, I mean, 607 00:52:43.400 --> 00:52:46.440 like something that only an animal could could truly feel like like a beast, 608 00:52:47.400 --> 00:52:55.280 maybe even the beast, which is why he um made a Scarecrowley, Well 609 00:52:55.360 --> 00:53:00.880 done. Yeah care Curley, did you notice that we did those puns like 610 00:53:01.079 --> 00:53:08.960 NPR style and um a farmer who was beacon to the agriculture business for the 611 00:53:09.199 --> 00:53:14.199 sustain county that he was. He was working in sorghum, which is also 612 00:53:14.320 --> 00:53:19.519 has a lot of applications in the plastics industry. Next week, able to 613 00:53:19.599 --> 00:53:25.199 make an adhesive from there? Jesus, Oh, all right, I'll round 614 00:53:25.320 --> 00:53:30.239 us out here, take us home, Flora. There was a there was 615 00:53:30.280 --> 00:53:37.360 a young British gentleman who liked going out for rides late at night after he'd 616 00:53:37.400 --> 00:53:40.840 been hanging out with his friends. But he was kind of a dick because 617 00:53:42.480 --> 00:53:47.840 he would be he would be on his bike going going down the street and 618 00:53:47.960 --> 00:53:53.480 he would make the signal that he was going to turn ride huh, and 619 00:53:53.599 --> 00:53:59.199 then he would suddenly turn left and just laugh and laugh. What a horrible 620 00:53:59.280 --> 00:54:09.519 person man, he was. The Serene Spike list. Oh man, Yeah, 621 00:54:09.559 --> 00:54:15.400 the truth, the true terror is puns. Just sit down the campfire 622 00:54:15.440 --> 00:54:19.199 and say, well, I've got a whole bunch of puns and I've got 623 00:54:19.360 --> 00:54:27.880 I've got to sleep tonight man food. Okay, that was a weird noise 624 00:54:27.920 --> 00:54:35.880 you mean, oh man, so as previously promised. Ye, no, 625 00:54:36.480 --> 00:54:39.400 no, the mailbag shall remain shut this week. That's right. Sorry. 626 00:54:39.840 --> 00:54:45.159 Yeah, we've got him, We've got him. Please don't stop writing them, 627 00:54:45.199 --> 00:54:49.119 because we will get to them all because he loves them. Things to 628 00:54:49.239 --> 00:54:52.840 keep in mind, we love puns, we do. We love mundane superpowers, 629 00:54:53.000 --> 00:54:57.079 that's true. And then you know, we just love whatever the helse 630 00:54:57.159 --> 00:55:00.280 you feel like, love you he love of it. When Flora goes to 631 00:55:00.360 --> 00:55:07.159 the penalty box. Not true. But in the meantime, with us not 632 00:55:07.559 --> 00:55:12.079 giving you listener mail, take time to go and rate us on iTunes the 633 00:55:12.159 --> 00:55:15.840 Stars stars five of them. Go and like us on Facebook if you haven't 634 00:55:15.880 --> 00:55:20.480 already. Really really, it doesn't take that long. You got a Facebook, 635 00:55:20.599 --> 00:55:28.679 I can't click it. Just searching for photos podcast click click? Yeah, 636 00:55:28.840 --> 00:55:31.480 click YouTube, We're on there, blurry photos podcasts as well. I'll 637 00:55:31.480 --> 00:55:37.079 be getting more store stubble ponds there. Blurry underscore photos are Twitter handle. 638 00:55:37.280 --> 00:55:40.559 Yeah. Let let's get to one hundred followers on that. Oh yeah, 639 00:55:40.800 --> 00:55:45.039 man, We've got almost three times as many likes as followers. I mean, 640 00:55:45.079 --> 00:55:47.159 it's hard to create a digital empire. You know what's silly. I 641 00:55:47.320 --> 00:55:53.920 just I have friends who perform in the city that are just themselves on Twitter. 642 00:55:54.119 --> 00:56:00.599 It's just like you know at John Underscore Smith and they have like nine 643 00:56:00.719 --> 00:56:04.000 hundred followers. Oh I know. And then here we are, you know, 644 00:56:04.360 --> 00:56:09.400 doing a service to the world. There were Morning and our road join 645 00:56:09.480 --> 00:56:15.440 a spotty and we've got ninety four followers four. Well, I mean, 646 00:56:15.679 --> 00:56:19.039 I'll tell you what. I there's a part of the work. There's a 647 00:56:19.119 --> 00:56:21.400 part of me that gets upset by that. But then there's a part of 648 00:56:21.440 --> 00:56:22.599 me that goes, oh, yeah, I don't give a about Twinter. 649 00:56:22.760 --> 00:56:28.119 I don't even so I don't either. I just it's it's preposterous and weird, 650 00:56:28.599 --> 00:56:30.880 and that's why I don't do much with it. It's ridiculous, and 651 00:56:31.159 --> 00:56:37.559 it's after it's died. It's preposthumous. Yes, I did that Flory photos 652 00:56:38.039 --> 00:56:45.559 proposthumous. All right, well shite, that's that. Yeah, we got 653 00:56:45.679 --> 00:56:47.320 to donate button. We really love it when you use that, and we're 654 00:56:47.360 --> 00:56:52.000 gonna use it for punching good. But with your wallet, bop it, 655 00:56:52.360 --> 00:56:57.000 twist it, bop it again, now hold it, now tell it you 656 00:56:57.159 --> 00:57:07.199 love it? Now never let it go. Now watch it drown bopp. 657 00:57:07.199 --> 00:57:14.400 It gets real for this episode, though, of blurry photos. I have 658 00:57:14.559 --> 00:57:31.199 been David Scaryman Flora and I have been David Stacko boo boom. Seriously, 659 00:57:31.280 --> 00:57:46.000 Pie always always get you. Yeah that literally good one, because you you 660 00:57:46.079 --> 00:57:49.920 bring the volume to it. That's that's it, that's all it is. 661 00:57:50.440 --> 00:58:30.000 Sorry to your ears. A fully formed, free floating, vaporous apparition should 662 00:58:30.079 --> 00:58:36.800 inspire terror on site before a single mournful moan escapes what used to be its 663 00:58:36.880 --> 00:58:44.360 lips? What used to be its lips? Ye really got deep on that, 664 00:58:45.519 --> 00:58:55.880 trying to trail it a little. What used to be as Jesus free 665 00:58:55.960 --> 00:58:58.440 cockroaches with every purchase