WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.280 --> 00:00:19.039 Andenogy, Cancel so High, Ecstasy, passage cancerge Ham not Sorry, Andogy 2 00:00:19.320 --> 00:00:23.399 what's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you are 3 00:00:23.440 --> 00:00:27.359 hearing this episode, then you are meant to be here, So keep listening 4 00:00:27.879 --> 00:00:32.840 on that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times, baby 5 00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:38.079 Girl, we're gonna cry, but we will always always walk away feeling our 6 00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:44.679 most empowered positive bitch self that is Babe in true connection with herself. On 7 00:00:44.719 --> 00:00:48.200 this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step into 8 00:00:48.399 --> 00:00:53.280 exactly who we came here to be. Today, we are continuing our March 9 00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:58.600 theme, which is lioness energy, because within every positive bitch is a lion 10 00:00:58.759 --> 00:01:03.560 ness. That's right. We are going to be talking about alone time, 11 00:01:03.679 --> 00:01:08.159 how self love is not selfish. We're gonna be dismantling our little ego because 12 00:01:08.239 --> 00:01:14.000 keep your friends close and keep that ego closer. Baby girl, we are 13 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:19.959 going to be diving into lioness energy, which is really magnetic energy because think 14 00:01:19.959 --> 00:01:23.920 of a lioness. She gets what she wants and she is not apologetic about 15 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:30.040 it because she knows her happiness is her responsibility. Did you know lions are 16 00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:37.799 actually the hunters of the Lion community. Yes, I'm so excited to talk 17 00:01:37.799 --> 00:01:42.879 about today's topic. I asked you on Instagram what you want to get answers 18 00:01:42.959 --> 00:01:47.120 about when it comes to alone time self love, and I'm gonna be diving 19 00:01:47.159 --> 00:01:51.560 into those questions as well. Before we get into it, a couple of 20 00:01:51.599 --> 00:01:57.079 announcements. The biggest announcement is Show Up as Her, the book I've been 21 00:01:57.079 --> 00:02:00.319 working on for years now. I'm pretty sure you know me and timing just 22 00:02:00.359 --> 00:02:05.000 don't gell. I'm pretty sure it's in in years, but it's coming out 23 00:02:05.239 --> 00:02:09.039 April thirtieth and you can preorder it now. Show Up as Her is the 24 00:02:09.199 --> 00:02:15.599 official title. We have finally solidified a title, Show Up as Her. 25 00:02:15.080 --> 00:02:22.000 It's all about how to embody magnetic energy, and the book has ten laws 26 00:02:22.280 --> 00:02:28.520 to reclaim your power. Each chapter focuses on a specific area of your life. 27 00:02:28.520 --> 00:02:30.680 So if you need to call your power back from your past, if 28 00:02:30.680 --> 00:02:34.800 you need to call your power back from people, if you need to call 29 00:02:34.840 --> 00:02:38.479 your power back from X's, if you even need to call your power back 30 00:02:38.520 --> 00:02:42.840 from negative thoughts and your ego, there's a chapter for that. You get 31 00:02:42.840 --> 00:02:45.479 a chapter, you get a chapter. You get a chapter that's right by 32 00:02:45.479 --> 00:02:52.039 the end of this book, you will be so hydrated with magnetic energy you 33 00:02:52.120 --> 00:02:57.319 will be quantumly to your desired timeline. You already have the power to do 34 00:02:57.360 --> 00:03:00.759 this. This book is just giving you the tools you actually know how to 35 00:03:00.879 --> 00:03:07.960 quantum leap to that most magnetic timeline. I'm so excited for you to have 36 00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:10.479 this book. I put my sweat, sparkle, tears, and positive energy 37 00:03:10.599 --> 00:03:16.960 into every single word. I'm really happy that as the Positive Bitch community, 38 00:03:17.280 --> 00:03:23.360 we're gonna have an object, a book that's gonna have all the teachings in 39 00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:28.719 one place. You know, I'm on TikTok and Instagram and podcasts, streaming 40 00:03:28.759 --> 00:03:32.840 platforms. The information is all out there, but it's everywhere. We're finally 41 00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:36.719 gonna have a place where I can say, go to page one twenty three 42 00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:38.120 and you can go to page one twenty three and we can be on the 43 00:03:38.159 --> 00:03:44.560 same page about the same concept, and it's just gonna be so much easier 44 00:03:44.680 --> 00:03:51.120 to study these laws and these concepts. The book is focused on positive biology, 45 00:03:51.560 --> 00:03:58.199 which is essentially my own curriculum, and there's ten laws of positive Bigology, 46 00:03:58.280 --> 00:04:01.560 and you will get these ten laws will transform your life like they have 47 00:04:01.680 --> 00:04:06.639 transformed my life, and you are just I know you're gonna love it. 48 00:04:06.719 --> 00:04:12.120 I love it, and I'm so so happy that we can finally share this 49 00:04:12.280 --> 00:04:17.120 creation together. If anything I've ever said has ever moved you or it allowed 50 00:04:17.160 --> 00:04:20.279 you to have a light bulb moment, whether that was on Instagram, TikTok, 51 00:04:20.399 --> 00:04:25.800 or these podcast episodes, please support this launch. It means the world 52 00:04:26.040 --> 00:04:29.199 to me. I'm so excited for you to have it, but I'm excited 53 00:04:29.199 --> 00:04:30.360 for us to share it. I just I don't know. I just have 54 00:04:30.480 --> 00:04:36.680 so many, so many feelings of positive energy around this, and I am 55 00:04:36.800 --> 00:04:43.920 just inviting you along this transformation and positive Bitchology, this new curriculum. And 56 00:04:44.040 --> 00:04:46.759 yeah, you can pre order the book now. Link will be in the 57 00:04:46.759 --> 00:04:48.759 show notes. Of course, if you want to follow me on Instagram, 58 00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:51.240 you can do that at vibe and with CC. Link will be in the 59 00:04:51.240 --> 00:04:55.279 show notes. If you're going through a breakup, join the twenty one day 60 00:04:55.319 --> 00:04:59.360 Breakup Globe Challenge to refocus on you, move on and heal your past and 61 00:04:59.439 --> 00:05:01.519 of course have that glow up. We can't forget about that now. And 62 00:05:01.720 --> 00:05:04.920 if you're dating and you want to learn how to place yourself on the pedestal, 63 00:05:05.240 --> 00:05:10.959 call your power back and date from really this divine feminine energy place, 64 00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:14.639 the pedestal path would be perfect for you. And of course there are also 65 00:05:14.759 --> 00:05:20.040 workbooks that I provide on how to manifest divine feminine energy and also calling your 66 00:05:20.040 --> 00:05:25.279 power back. All those will be in the show notes below. That was 67 00:05:25.319 --> 00:05:30.439 a mouthful without further ado, let's get into today's episode. I was recently 68 00:05:30.480 --> 00:05:35.360 talking with one of my clients and we were talking about how whatever we choose, 69 00:05:35.600 --> 00:05:41.800 there's always going to be some sort of cost. We were talking about 70 00:05:41.800 --> 00:05:48.240 how in life we know that we learn based on our connection with the caregiver. 71 00:05:48.399 --> 00:05:53.439 We crave love from the most, we learn how to connect to others. 72 00:05:54.560 --> 00:05:59.560 And if we've learned that the way we get connection is to dole our 73 00:05:59.639 --> 00:06:03.279 own life light. If we've learned that we have to be the nice girl, 74 00:06:03.480 --> 00:06:08.240 the shy girl, we have to be a people pleaser in order to 75 00:06:08.279 --> 00:06:16.519 gain connection, well that's what we become. We can either continuously engage in 76 00:06:16.639 --> 00:06:25.399 this role we created out of survival. We can continuously act as this people 77 00:06:25.439 --> 00:06:30.920 pleaser, as the nice girl, and we can preserve the relationships that we 78 00:06:30.120 --> 00:06:40.040 have when we're being this role that will cost us ourselves though, or we 79 00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:45.199 can decide differently. We can realize that our power is in our present moment, 80 00:06:45.319 --> 00:06:48.160 and we can say, actually, even if being the nice girl has 81 00:06:48.199 --> 00:06:50.720 gotten me here, it's not going to get me to where I want to 82 00:06:50.800 --> 00:06:56.360 go. This ego, this identity, this role may have allowed me to 83 00:06:56.439 --> 00:07:00.279 survive, but it's not allowing me to thrive. And it's my prerogative. 84 00:07:00.399 --> 00:07:03.680 Every single day, I'm being invited to choose who I want to show up 85 00:07:03.759 --> 00:07:10.240 as. I can choose to say I'm not gonna do this anymore, and 86 00:07:10.360 --> 00:07:15.680 instead I'm going to show up as my authentic self, which means putting up 87 00:07:15.720 --> 00:07:19.279 boundaries, which means saying no, which means deciding who I don't want to 88 00:07:19.319 --> 00:07:25.680 be and not engaging with those behaviors anymore. And the cost to that decision 89 00:07:25.959 --> 00:07:32.720 is we might lose some relationships. I think a lot of us have fear 90 00:07:33.480 --> 00:07:39.160 around losing the relationships that we know, even if we don't really like those 91 00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:44.720 relationships. It's kind of like the saying we prefer the devil we know rather 92 00:07:44.759 --> 00:07:50.920 than the angel we don't know. But at what cost? Is it really 93 00:07:51.120 --> 00:07:58.920 worth it to continuously be a role you created out of survival and preserve these 94 00:07:58.959 --> 00:08:05.079 relationships that you have, or maybe is it time that we say this doesn't 95 00:08:05.319 --> 00:08:09.399 work for me anymore, and if it cost me these relationships, then these 96 00:08:09.399 --> 00:08:16.839 are relationships I don't want to have. Whatever life you want, it's gonna 97 00:08:16.839 --> 00:08:20.240 cost you the current set of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors you currently have. 98 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:26.160 If you want a different life, okay, pay up, You're gonna 99 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:28.759 have to start changing how you think, how you act, how you behave, 100 00:08:28.879 --> 00:08:33.519 what you say to yourself and others. You're gonna have to incorporate new 101 00:08:33.559 --> 00:08:41.639 boundaries with yourself and others. What is the definition of insanity but doing the 102 00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:46.840 same thing and expecting a different result. How much longer do you really think 103 00:08:46.879 --> 00:08:52.559 you can engage with the behaviors that you're engaging with Ten years down the line, 104 00:08:52.600 --> 00:08:56.759 do you still just want to be known as the people pleasing nice girl 105 00:08:56.759 --> 00:08:58.960 who doesn't get what she wants? Twenty years down the line, do you 106 00:09:00.279 --> 00:09:03.600 still want to be the people pleasing nice girl who gets stepped all over? 107 00:09:03.039 --> 00:09:07.600 Thirty years down the line, do you still want to be the little nice 108 00:09:07.639 --> 00:09:11.799 girl who doesn't get her way, who never feels fulfilled, and who feels 109 00:09:11.840 --> 00:09:18.240 completely like an empty cup at the end of the day, it's your choice. 110 00:09:18.840 --> 00:09:22.679 What do you want to choose, And yes, everything will have a 111 00:09:22.759 --> 00:09:31.240 cost. The thing is, if we keep trying to stay around people who 112 00:09:31.320 --> 00:09:37.480 are wanting us to stay the same, we are just stunting our own growth. 113 00:09:39.159 --> 00:09:43.159 And I get it that it can be uncomfortable to say I'm no longer 114 00:09:43.200 --> 00:09:45.639 going to hang out with these people or they no longer want to hang out 115 00:09:45.639 --> 00:09:50.360 with me, because we're stepping into the unknown. But the unknown is a 116 00:09:50.600 --> 00:09:58.000 much more successful, higher vibrational place than staying in the same place forever. 117 00:09:58.799 --> 00:10:03.320 That's not natural. We are energy. Down to our smallest atom, we 118 00:10:03.360 --> 00:10:07.440 are vibrating particles. We are energy. And what's the natural state of energy 119 00:10:07.759 --> 00:10:11.879 but movement. If we had to eat the same thing, dressed the same 120 00:10:11.919 --> 00:10:16.080 way, to have the same conversations every single day, we would go out 121 00:10:16.120 --> 00:10:22.639 of our minds because that is not natural. Change is natural, Shifting is 122 00:10:22.759 --> 00:10:28.000 natural. And while you're in a season of a dark night of the soul 123 00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:33.399 or isolation or alone time, don't cling to these external attachments, cling to 124 00:10:33.879 --> 00:10:39.480 God, cling to yourself, cling to the things that are always going to 125 00:10:39.519 --> 00:10:45.919 be there regardless of the external changes. I had to realize that I was 126 00:10:46.039 --> 00:10:50.600 growing in different directions than my friends were. I couldn't cling to the friendships 127 00:10:50.639 --> 00:10:54.480 I had since kindergarten. I had a cling to God. I had a 128 00:10:54.559 --> 00:10:58.440 cling to my future self because she was the one who was going to get 129 00:10:58.440 --> 00:11:01.000 me out of that mess. And God is really the only constant in our 130 00:11:01.039 --> 00:11:05.519 life. They say change is the only constant, but really it's God because 131 00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:09.519 the way we change is different. Sometimes we change for the worst, sometimes 132 00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:13.120 we change for the better. Sometimes we change in this direction or that direction. 133 00:11:13.559 --> 00:11:18.000 Really the only constant is our connection to the divine. If you were 134 00:11:18.039 --> 00:11:26.039 having trouble during this season, cling to your connection to the higher power that 135 00:11:26.200 --> 00:11:30.519 is always with us. Twenty four to seven. I wanted to answer some 136 00:11:30.639 --> 00:11:37.120 of your questions about stepping into your most magnetic self. But this might require 137 00:11:37.240 --> 00:11:39.879 alone time. This might require saying no to some friendships. That might require 138 00:11:39.919 --> 00:11:45.200 saying no to people you love. Let's talk about how to set boundaries and 139 00:11:45.240 --> 00:11:50.519 how to really relax into this alone time that is so necessary for us all. 140 00:11:50.159 --> 00:11:56.720 So let's get the questions up here. So the first question is I've 141 00:11:56.799 --> 00:12:03.000 never put myself first. I don't know how I've tried everything. I feel 142 00:12:03.039 --> 00:12:07.919 so lost. Any time you hear yourself saying I tried everything, you didn't. 143 00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:13.360 You may have tried many things, but you didn't try everything, or 144 00:12:13.360 --> 00:12:16.399 else you wouldn't be in the same position that you're currently in. Telling yourself 145 00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:22.120 I tried everything is a limiting belief that your ego wants you to believe, 146 00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:26.320 so you stay stuck. Remember, your ego wants you to stay in the 147 00:12:26.360 --> 00:12:30.240 familiar place that you're currently at. So it's going to try to convince you 148 00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:35.480 you've done everything. You've tried everything. It's a lie. So let's take 149 00:12:35.559 --> 00:12:39.360 that lie off of our pedestal and let's place ourselves back on a right full 150 00:12:39.519 --> 00:12:45.639 throne and remember who we are in the power that we have. Chances are 151 00:12:46.559 --> 00:12:50.519 you haven't tried everything, or things would be different. Okay, if you've 152 00:12:50.559 --> 00:12:56.480 never put yourself first. The first way to start putting yourself first simply engaging 153 00:12:56.679 --> 00:13:01.399 with non negotiables. This is something we talk about a lot on this podcast. 154 00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:09.039 Non Negotiables are things, habits, activities, even certain lifestyles that no 155 00:13:09.039 --> 00:13:13.720 matter who comes in and out of your life, you will do these hobbies, 156 00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:16.159 you will do that exercise, you will keep up with your career because 157 00:13:16.200 --> 00:13:20.039 these are the things that are important to you and they make you you. 158 00:13:20.840 --> 00:13:28.600 Examples of non negotiables are yoga, your work or school, meditation, your 159 00:13:28.799 --> 00:13:33.440 eating habits, whatever they may be, they are boundaries, not for other 160 00:13:33.480 --> 00:13:37.000 people, but for you. When I was dealing with anxious attachment and codependency, 161 00:13:37.399 --> 00:13:41.600 I needed non negotiables, not for other people. I needed them so 162 00:13:41.679 --> 00:13:46.480 I could stay focused on me. Where focus goes, energy flows. If 163 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:50.559 I'm constantly focused on the other, then I'm sending them all of my energy. 164 00:13:50.879 --> 00:13:54.960 And just like we can get depleted in vitamins, we get depleted in 165 00:13:56.159 --> 00:14:01.200 our magnetic energy. If you're not focused on you, you're not giving yourself 166 00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:03.960 that daily phil of your own energy, and you will feel like an empty 167 00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:11.279 cup. What I want you to try is non negotiables. You need daily 168 00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:16.720 non negotiables. This can be your morning routine, It can be your affirmations, 169 00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:20.200 it can be your yoga that regardless of who comes in and out of 170 00:14:20.200 --> 00:14:24.679 your life, you do something for you every single day. It does not 171 00:14:24.840 --> 00:14:28.600 matter what else is going on. You're committing to yourself because when you commit 172 00:14:28.679 --> 00:14:31.960 to yourself, you start to build up self trust. When you commit to 173 00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:37.879 yourself and do something for yourself. You're infusing yourself, You're hydrating yourself with 174 00:14:37.919 --> 00:14:41.879 your own magnetic energy. And when you commit to yourself, you're giving yourself 175 00:14:41.919 --> 00:14:46.120 focus, which gives you your own energy instead of depleting it, depleting it, 176 00:14:46.240 --> 00:14:50.240 depleting it. I also recommend that you work with my Calling your Power 177 00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:54.840 Back meditation. This is a free meditation that's on YouTube. The link is 178 00:14:54.840 --> 00:14:58.919 always in the show notes. It will help you call your power back and 179 00:14:58.960 --> 00:15:03.679 it's a twenty minute metaale, so it's very, very grounding. Okay, 180 00:15:03.919 --> 00:15:11.080 let's go to the next question. What's the line between healthy, divine self 181 00:15:11.159 --> 00:15:16.559 obsession and narcissism. This is a great question because a lot of people love 182 00:15:16.639 --> 00:15:22.320 to just say that self love is selfish, and it's not. Self love 183 00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:28.039 will never be selfish because you are the foundation of your life. And if 184 00:15:28.080 --> 00:15:31.720 you're not okay, guess what, Your whole life will crumble. Career, 185 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:37.639 friends, relationship, goodbye, goodbye. It will all crumble because who's the 186 00:15:37.679 --> 00:15:43.080 person who's holding all of these things together. That's right, it's you. 187 00:15:43.720 --> 00:15:48.200 If you're not okay, your external three D reality will reflect that back to 188 00:15:48.279 --> 00:15:52.960 you, baby girl. Okay, self love is not selfish. What's the 189 00:15:52.159 --> 00:15:58.399 difference between this healthy self focus and narcissism, I'm gonna tell you it's all 190 00:15:58.440 --> 00:16:07.039 about intention. Narcissism is not someone who actually loves themselves. I just society 191 00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:11.240 is so wrong about so many things, and it boggles my mind. Okay, 192 00:16:11.559 --> 00:16:15.840 okay, here we go. So narcissism is actually when you're deeply insecure, 193 00:16:17.039 --> 00:16:21.720 so you have to puff yourself up or try to bring someone else down 194 00:16:21.759 --> 00:16:26.480 in order to make yourself feel okay. Narcissism, The intention there is I'm 195 00:16:26.480 --> 00:16:29.960 insecure, so I have to fake that I'm better than you, or I 196 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:33.759 have to be unkind to you to bring you down. That's not self love. 197 00:16:33.840 --> 00:16:41.039 That's insecurity self love. The intention is I'm not even worried about what 198 00:16:41.080 --> 00:16:45.559 you're doing because I love myself and I feel good in my own skin. 199 00:16:45.039 --> 00:16:49.759 If I was a narcissist walking into a room, I'm scanning everyone. I'm 200 00:16:49.799 --> 00:16:52.759 sending out my energy to everyone. What are they doing? What are they 201 00:16:52.759 --> 00:16:55.519 doing? Are they better than me? I have to put them down. 202 00:16:55.600 --> 00:16:57.399 I puff myself up. I have to pretend to be someone I'm not. 203 00:16:57.960 --> 00:17:04.759 Being a narcissist is extremely, extremely tiring, and it rains you of all 204 00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:08.440 your magnetic energy. That's why they're a narcissist. Hello, and that's why 205 00:17:08.440 --> 00:17:11.519 they try to bring other people down. Misery loved company. It's not lonely 206 00:17:11.519 --> 00:17:15.680 at the top, it's lonely at the bottom, and hence why people try 207 00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:18.519 to bring you down with them. But self love is I'm walking into a 208 00:17:18.599 --> 00:17:22.279 room and I feel so good in my own skin that I'm not sizing anyone 209 00:17:22.519 --> 00:17:27.359 up or down. I'm not concerned about everyone because I know that my fun 210 00:17:27.400 --> 00:17:36.759 in my life is my own responsibility. And that's the difference. Next question, 211 00:17:37.559 --> 00:17:42.599 how do you choose yourself with certainty and without guilt or regret. So 212 00:17:42.759 --> 00:17:47.880 a lot of us have marter mothers. Okay, yeah we do, Hi 213 00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:52.000 boomers. If you're a boomer listening to this, uh, you're most likely 214 00:17:52.039 --> 00:17:55.400 a martyr. That's what you've learned. And that's okay. Me and my 215 00:17:55.480 --> 00:17:59.960 mom always joke because I always call her martyr mother and she calls me deva 216 00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:06.680 daughter because I have so revolted against all the ideas of martyrdom, because it's 217 00:18:06.880 --> 00:18:08.519 the worst thing you can possibly do to yourself. I see what it did 218 00:18:08.519 --> 00:18:12.160 to my grandma and my mother. No think I'm good, I'm good over 219 00:18:12.200 --> 00:18:15.319 here being the diva daughter. I like my life much better. Okay, 220 00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:21.960 anyway, So how can we choose ourselves without feeling regret or guilt? So 221 00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:26.599 as you're changing for the better. Disclaimer, there are going to be people 222 00:18:26.640 --> 00:18:30.680 in your life who they do love you. They may love you, but 223 00:18:30.759 --> 00:18:37.839 they're not gonna like that you're changing for the better. It's really uncomfortable for 224 00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:41.359 people when they realize that you're coming from the same place, but you ain't 225 00:18:41.359 --> 00:18:45.319 going in the same directions. You're going up, up, up, You're 226 00:18:45.359 --> 00:18:48.759 getting better, You're improving your health, your fitness, your career, your 227 00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:52.680 relationships, and they're still in the same cycle they've had for ten years. 228 00:18:52.720 --> 00:18:59.799 Now. When we are becoming better, we are a mirror for those other 229 00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:03.279 people in our life, and they're being faced with the fact that they were 230 00:19:03.319 --> 00:19:07.200 given a similar circumstance. They're coming from pretty much the same place, but 231 00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:12.720 they didn't use their power like you did. And they're really actually upset at 232 00:19:12.759 --> 00:19:17.440 themselves. They're mad that they didn't learn sooner or do what you were doing. 233 00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:19.720 But what do they do? They project that anger onto you. But 234 00:19:19.880 --> 00:19:26.039 as positive bitches, we don't let other people's projections become our predictions, this 235 00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:32.240 anger towards you. It's not personal, it's vibrational. Look at the end 236 00:19:32.240 --> 00:19:36.559 of the day, you weren't born to make everybody like you and everybody happy. 237 00:19:37.039 --> 00:19:41.039 You can't make everyone believe in you. Not even God can do that. 238 00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:47.279 So don't waste your time trying to manipulate yourself and get everyone on board 239 00:19:47.400 --> 00:19:55.440 with your vision. You can't. It will never work. So instead of 240 00:19:55.480 --> 00:20:00.480 being concerned of does everyone agree with me? Is everyone okay with what I'm 241 00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:03.519 doing? You have to say how do I feel? How do I feel 242 00:20:03.599 --> 00:20:08.039 about what I'm doing? I keep allowing Brad into my life and Brad keeps 243 00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:14.480 ruining my life and making me feel absolutely freaking miserable, and maybe I'm giving 244 00:20:14.519 --> 00:20:18.960 my power away. But maybe I need to set some boundaries here. And 245 00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:22.279 then Brad a week later is going to be like Ceci, but I love 246 00:20:22.359 --> 00:20:25.759 you and I missed you, and I want to give you the flowers and 247 00:20:25.799 --> 00:20:30.119 the chocolate, And I would have to say, Brad, absolutely not. 248 00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:36.240 And it's not always going to be comfortable. But remember the cost. What 249 00:20:36.519 --> 00:20:41.559 is at cost here is it yourself? Because you should never be the person 250 00:20:41.000 --> 00:20:45.759 who's constantly being sacrificed Remember, you are not the sacrifice. You are your 251 00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:52.279 own alter. You are your own temple. So you need to respect yourself 252 00:20:52.559 --> 00:20:56.440 as that temple, our bodies, our spirit, This incarnation is God given. 253 00:20:56.480 --> 00:21:00.640 You better respect it. Okay. So if so other people are uncomfortable 254 00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:04.400 with your positive changes, it has more to do with them than it has 255 00:21:04.480 --> 00:21:08.640 to do with you. And if you have to sacrifice yourself in order to 256 00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:12.319 get them to stay in your life and preserve the relationship, no, not 257 00:21:12.440 --> 00:21:15.119 worth it. Not worth it. I think I said this last time. 258 00:21:15.119 --> 00:21:19.680 But there are people I have to block because I can't love them up close. 259 00:21:19.799 --> 00:21:23.319 I can only love them from afar. There are people I had to 260 00:21:23.400 --> 00:21:29.400 remove from my life, and it's uncomfortable because you know, you're not making 261 00:21:29.440 --> 00:21:34.119 everybody happy. Just like your happiness is your responsibility, their happiness is their 262 00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:40.200 responsibility too. Now a lot of us have learned that it is our responsibility 263 00:21:40.519 --> 00:21:44.960 to be the mediator for everybody in the room. It's our responsibility to make 264 00:21:44.960 --> 00:21:48.359 sure Martha's okay, and Brad's okay and Oprah's okay. I don't know why 265 00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:52.440 that name came to my brain, but it did. We've learned that our 266 00:21:52.519 --> 00:21:56.599 sole purpose is to make sure everyone feels good and everyone feels comfortable, but 267 00:21:56.759 --> 00:22:03.839 at the cost of us self sacrificing co instantly, it's now in your power 268 00:22:03.960 --> 00:22:07.720 to say, I'm no longer going to self sacrifice. Maybe I might feel 269 00:22:07.720 --> 00:22:11.559 a little guilty. Maybe I will because this has been my pattern for so 270 00:22:11.720 --> 00:22:15.960 long. Maybe I will feel a little bit uncertain. Guess what feelings are 271 00:22:17.000 --> 00:22:22.200 not fact and the feelings will fade. You know what won't fade though constantly 272 00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:26.039 depleting yourself, you'll feel that one forever. You know what won't fade, 273 00:22:26.440 --> 00:22:30.000 you never feeling like you have energy for anything. You know what won't fade? 274 00:22:30.119 --> 00:22:33.279 Autoimmune? Should we go down that path? Do you want to talk 275 00:22:33.319 --> 00:22:38.200 about that? And this is coming from someone who did this to themselves already. 276 00:22:38.359 --> 00:22:41.799 I've already been there, Chicas, Okay, I've already been there. 277 00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:48.359 I've done this to myself and it was terrible. Hence why I then revolted 278 00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:52.640 against all of these ideals and ideas and concepts. They don't work. If 279 00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:56.799 people pleasing and placing other people on your pedestal worked, I would tell you 280 00:22:56.839 --> 00:23:00.680 to do it. It does not work. You deplete yourself a magnetic energy. 281 00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:03.279 You feel terrible you resent them, they end up ghosting you anyway, 282 00:23:03.319 --> 00:23:08.279 So it doesn't work, It doesn't do anything. You have power. I 283 00:23:08.359 --> 00:23:11.279 have power, but a lot of the time we're not using our power in 284 00:23:11.319 --> 00:23:15.960 a way that's conducive to our desires. So yeah, maybe it's gonna be 285 00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:21.759 uncomfortable for a season, But wouldn't you rather be uncomfortable for one season learn 286 00:23:21.799 --> 00:23:23.680 a new way of being, then being uncomfortable for the rest of your life? 287 00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:33.039 I mean, is it even a question anymore? So let the feelings 288 00:23:33.079 --> 00:23:36.720 be there. Reflect Why am I feeling guilty? Is it because I've never 289 00:23:36.759 --> 00:23:40.680 been allowed to focus on myself? Is it because my mom never focused on 290 00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:44.759 herself? And I internalize that's what it means to be a woman. That 291 00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:48.480 is what I learned. My grandmother and my mother did everything for everybody else 292 00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:52.400 and didn't have two seconds to think about themselves. So I learned, Oh, 293 00:23:52.519 --> 00:23:56.839 that's what it is to be a woman. Sacrifice everything, ha ha, 294 00:23:56.960 --> 00:24:02.440 never have time to focus on yourself, feel completely depleted, and then 295 00:24:02.559 --> 00:24:04.440 feel like an empty cup for the rest of your life. I don't think 296 00:24:04.519 --> 00:24:10.079 so. So why don't you redefine what being a woman means to you? 297 00:24:10.599 --> 00:24:15.599 Redefine what selfishness is to you because choosing yourself is not selfish, and just 298 00:24:15.640 --> 00:24:21.079 because you think it might be doesn't mean it's even true. Again, what 299 00:24:21.279 --> 00:24:25.359 is a belief but something we practice thinking? We have to realize that most 300 00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:27.400 of what we think is true, most of what we believe is true, 301 00:24:27.440 --> 00:24:33.920 Most of what we think is fact is faulty programming that someone told someone else 302 00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:40.720 who told us, and then we believed it. It's time to take responsibility 303 00:24:40.759 --> 00:24:45.480 over your beliefs, your thought patterns, and the person you currently are. 304 00:24:47.359 --> 00:24:51.440 Another person asks, why does it feel like I'm being selfish? Sometimes? 305 00:24:52.279 --> 00:24:55.319 Again, this kind of goes right in line with the question I just answered. 306 00:24:55.839 --> 00:25:00.400 Sometimes I would make a decision early on in becoming my most magnetic self, 307 00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:03.559 and I'll always be evolving, of course, But in this journey, 308 00:25:04.079 --> 00:25:11.720 I would feel selfish for not staying on the phone with maybe a family member 309 00:25:11.799 --> 00:25:15.519 after they're talking about the same thing that happened for the fiftieth time. I 310 00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:19.680 would feel guilty that I had work to do. I'd feel guilty that I 311 00:25:19.759 --> 00:25:23.880 wasn't being the mediator for everyone. And then I realized, well, who's 312 00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:30.319 constantly getting the short end of the stick. Oh, it's me. I'm 313 00:25:30.359 --> 00:25:34.079 depleting my energy trying to make everyone else happy, and they're not even doing 314 00:25:34.119 --> 00:25:38.079 the same thing for me. I'm depleting my own energy trying to save all 315 00:25:38.119 --> 00:25:42.279 these other people who don't want to be saved. They're married to their past, 316 00:25:42.720 --> 00:25:48.839 They're married to their own miserable stories. The people you want to save. 317 00:25:48.039 --> 00:25:52.079 If you could have saved them, they would be saved. You can't 318 00:25:52.119 --> 00:25:57.519 save them because they care more about their addiction to the same chemicals they've been 319 00:25:57.519 --> 00:26:02.799 feeling for their whole entire life life. They care more about reaffirming their own 320 00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:07.240 miserable story. They care more about replaying the same scenarios, getting the same 321 00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:11.640 emotional outcomes. They're married to their ego more than they want to be saved. 322 00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:17.480 This isn't about you saving them anymore. You have to save yourself. 323 00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:22.680 They're not even asking to be saved. Most of the time, it's us 324 00:26:22.759 --> 00:26:26.920 who thinks we have to be the savior, because that's the way we think 325 00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:30.039 we have to get love and connection. You're not Jesus Christ, Okay, 326 00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:37.359 that's not who you are. You're somebody else. You are not sent here 327 00:26:37.559 --> 00:26:40.680 to save us all of our sins. You are not sent here to save 328 00:26:40.720 --> 00:26:44.000 your mother and your father and all these other people. You were meant to 329 00:26:44.119 --> 00:26:51.119 save yourself. Now, if you inspire others through saving yourself, then let 330 00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:56.119 it be. I mean, ring the damn bell hellojah Anne. I love 331 00:26:56.200 --> 00:27:00.440 that for you and them and everybody. But you can't force someone to be 332 00:27:00.519 --> 00:27:04.880 saved. And if you keep coming against the same problems, listen up, 333 00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:08.240 Listen to me right now. Listen to me. They don't want to be 334 00:27:08.319 --> 00:27:12.400 saved, You want to save them. And there's a difference. The person 335 00:27:12.440 --> 00:27:18.359 who actually needs your attention is you. The way your energy will be used 336 00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:22.880 to your advantage is if you use it instead of just depleting it over and 337 00:27:22.920 --> 00:27:29.039 over and over again. I understand that there are people we love, our 338 00:27:29.119 --> 00:27:33.200 family members, our friends, and we so easily see how they can just 339 00:27:33.319 --> 00:27:37.480 break out of the habit that they're in. But guess what, that's not 340 00:27:37.519 --> 00:27:41.119 what they want from you or else. That information would have already set them 341 00:27:41.160 --> 00:27:45.960 free. You can't save them, but you can save yourself. If they 342 00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:51.079 come to you and they ask you for an actionable helping step, then of 343 00:27:51.160 --> 00:27:56.519 course we can be helpful. But if they're not even asking us what are 344 00:27:56.559 --> 00:28:00.440 we doing, it's more about us replaying our own trauma, that it is 345 00:28:00.559 --> 00:28:07.279 about even saving somebody else. What if I am shamed and called selfish and 346 00:28:07.359 --> 00:28:17.480 egotistical for choosing myself, let them call you that. Honestly, they're jealous. 347 00:28:15.880 --> 00:28:21.640 I know, I know, I know. I know. That sounds 348 00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:25.240 so almost like a cop out, like, oh, they're just jealous, 349 00:28:25.519 --> 00:28:30.480 but they are. You think that people don't want to be able to focus 350 00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:33.759 on themselves. You think that people don't want to be able to give to 351 00:28:33.799 --> 00:28:37.839 themselves. Of course they do, but their beliefs and their egos and what 352 00:28:37.880 --> 00:28:41.000 they have learned is stopping them from doing that. So what do they want 353 00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:45.000 to do? Misery love company? Well, well I don't get to take 354 00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:48.000 care of myself, so you shouldn't be able to take care of yourself either. 355 00:28:48.279 --> 00:28:51.799 Well I don't get to focus on myself, so you shouldn't be able 356 00:28:51.839 --> 00:28:55.480 to focus on yourself either. What we push down in ourselves is what we 357 00:28:55.599 --> 00:29:00.400 hate in others. Remember this really isn't personal, it's vibrational. This person, 358 00:29:00.759 --> 00:29:06.079 what they're being faced with is their own wounds. They can't fathom that 359 00:29:06.119 --> 00:29:08.799 it's possible to choose themselves, and they wish they could, but their own 360 00:29:08.880 --> 00:29:12.599 inner world, their own wounds and their own trauma is stopping them from doing 361 00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:17.799 so. The best thing you can do for others and yourself is to do 362 00:29:17.880 --> 00:29:21.119 what you want to do, find your own happiness, and if that inspires 363 00:29:21.160 --> 00:29:25.200 them, they'll follow suit and find their own happiness too. Another question was, 364 00:29:25.519 --> 00:29:29.079 can you tell us how to set boundaries in a healthier, not passive 365 00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:33.279 aggressive way. Yeah, So instead of saying you're doing this wrong, you're 366 00:29:33.319 --> 00:29:40.400 annoying me, you wanna use self language, So this behavior, this dynamic 367 00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:45.839 is no longer serving me. I no longer wish to engage with this behavior 368 00:29:45.960 --> 00:29:49.119 because it's not affecting me in a positive way. You can just be straight 369 00:29:49.119 --> 00:29:52.559 to the point. The reason I say you self language like I and me 370 00:29:52.680 --> 00:29:56.759 instead of you're doing this, you're wrong, is because when you start saying 371 00:29:56.799 --> 00:30:00.200 you you, you, you're just gonna trigger their ego and then we kind 372 00:30:00.200 --> 00:30:03.319 of get away from the point we're trying to make. So just say this 373 00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:07.039 doesn't work for me anymore, this is no longer serving me. In my 374 00:30:07.119 --> 00:30:11.480 Divine Feminine Workbook, I have a whole entire script of how to set boundaries 375 00:30:11.839 --> 00:30:18.200 with a significant other or anybody else because it's really about the language you use. 376 00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:22.400 A really good tip is don't try to set boundaries when that other person 377 00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:26.920 is busy or hungry. They did a whole entire study where judges at the 378 00:30:26.960 --> 00:30:32.359 beginning of the day gave a more lenient sentence than when it was closer to 379 00:30:32.440 --> 00:30:36.759 lunchtime, literally just because they were hungrier. So their subconscious mind was like 380 00:30:36.799 --> 00:30:38.799 get out of here, and they got meaner. So, if you're gonna 381 00:30:38.799 --> 00:30:44.119 set a boundary, literally tell that person we need some time and space to 382 00:30:44.200 --> 00:30:45.799 talk. Don't do it when they're watching a movie. Don't do it when 383 00:30:45.839 --> 00:30:52.279 they're doing something with work. Set and carve out time and space where both 384 00:30:52.319 --> 00:30:55.200 of you know you're going into a conversation. It's going to be a more 385 00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:59.720 serious conversation. And while you're in it, say look, this just isn't 386 00:30:59.759 --> 00:31:03.440 working for me. This dynamic isn't serving me. It doesn't feel good to 387 00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:07.640 me. And then say what it is you do want. Don't leave it 388 00:31:07.960 --> 00:31:11.319 like a run on open weirdo sentence. Say this isn't working for me, 389 00:31:11.440 --> 00:31:14.519 but this is what does work for me. And if you don't know what 390 00:31:14.519 --> 00:31:17.079 your boundaries are and you don't know what your needs are, you need to 391 00:31:17.119 --> 00:31:19.680 reflect on that first before you bring up a conversation with someone else, because 392 00:31:19.720 --> 00:31:25.200 you want to be clear as day what you're even speaking about. And once 393 00:31:25.319 --> 00:31:30.039 you talk that you speak it, you transfer that to them, ask them, 394 00:31:30.519 --> 00:31:33.319 what do you think I'm getting at here? What do you think I'm 395 00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:38.160 trying to tell? You? Make sure that after you transfer the information it 396 00:31:38.319 --> 00:31:42.319 translated over correctly, because there have been times in my past where I was 397 00:31:42.359 --> 00:31:47.200 setting a boundary with my partner and he thought I meant something completely different. 398 00:31:47.519 --> 00:31:52.599 So after you set up the meeting, you you self talk and you express 399 00:31:52.640 --> 00:31:55.119 yourself. Then you're going to say and what do you think I mean by 400 00:31:55.119 --> 00:31:57.039 this? And allow them to parrot it back to you so you know you're 401 00:31:57.039 --> 00:32:00.319 on the same page. Someone asked, I do love being alone, but 402 00:32:00.400 --> 00:32:05.960 is there some solutions for feeling lonely? When you're feeling lonely, I do 403 00:32:06.119 --> 00:32:10.240 suggest to lean into it, let yourself cry, let yourself feel. Now, 404 00:32:10.279 --> 00:32:15.319 if you think you've had enough time of feeling lonely, why not find 405 00:32:15.319 --> 00:32:20.960 a new creative endeavor or passion project. When I was going through my breakup, 406 00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:25.039 I would have a lot of these spouts of just intense loneliness, energy, 407 00:32:25.079 --> 00:32:30.039 is energy, whether it's loneliness energy, or happiness energy, or sadness 408 00:32:30.119 --> 00:32:35.400 energy, or anxious energy. Energy is energy, and you can channel anxious 409 00:32:35.519 --> 00:32:39.920 energy into creative energy. You can channel sad energy into creative energy. You 410 00:32:39.960 --> 00:32:46.519 can channel happy energy into creative energy. Think of Olivia Rodrigo, Taylor Swift, 411 00:32:46.599 --> 00:32:52.680 really, any artists anywhere, they use their energy and they create beauty. 412 00:32:52.720 --> 00:32:58.759 They create art from it. Find a creative endeavor and start doing it. 413 00:32:59.279 --> 00:33:02.160 Learn about it, understand it, practice it, get good at it. 414 00:33:02.559 --> 00:33:07.000 You don't know what loneliness might open the door up to. When I 415 00:33:07.079 --> 00:33:13.160 was lonely, I turned to TikTok, I started creating content and that opened 416 00:33:13.240 --> 00:33:16.279 a whole entire new world for me. It led me to finding my purpose, 417 00:33:16.400 --> 00:33:22.160 to start becoming a life coach, to reading self help books, to 418 00:33:22.359 --> 00:33:24.200 sharing more of my life on the internet, to this podcast. So this 419 00:33:24.240 --> 00:33:29.960 book deal to my whole entire career. You don't know what loneliness is going 420 00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.559 to invite you to do. You don't know where loneliness is going to take 421 00:33:34.599 --> 00:33:37.839 you. This is why I say loneliness has taken me places that no other 422 00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:43.880 emotion, circumstance, or person could have taken me it pushed me to be 423 00:33:43.920 --> 00:33:46.359 so uncomfortable that I was like, I have to do something with this energy. 424 00:33:46.599 --> 00:33:51.319 So I used it. I channeled it into creative energy. I found 425 00:33:51.319 --> 00:33:53.839 my voice, I found my purpose, I found fun, and I would 426 00:33:53.839 --> 00:33:57.960 get into such a flow state that hours and hours would go by. I 427 00:33:58.000 --> 00:34:00.000 would forget to even use the bathroom or get a of water, which isn't 428 00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:05.000 the healthiest. But when you're such in a flow state, time doesn't exist 429 00:34:05.079 --> 00:34:09.280 as time because you're so present and you're so enjoying what you're doing that it 430 00:34:09.480 --> 00:34:16.039 flies by. So my biggest takeaway is find a creative endeavor. What is 431 00:34:16.119 --> 00:34:21.119 something you used to like to do, whether it's coloring or dancing or editing, 432 00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:24.280 or what's something that might be interesting to you today maybe it's painting, 433 00:34:24.760 --> 00:34:30.159 and start doing it. Invest in the supplies, because investing in the supplies 434 00:34:30.760 --> 00:34:37.800 is you investing in your self, which is the best investment that you can 435 00:34:38.119 --> 00:34:45.320 make. How do you choose yourself when you're used to putting someone else above 436 00:34:45.360 --> 00:34:52.639 you. It's really about awareness, interruption, and making a new decision and 437 00:34:52.679 --> 00:34:58.199 then practicing that. So I highly recommend you join the pedestal path because in 438 00:34:58.239 --> 00:35:01.679 the pedestal path. I teach you why you're energetically chasing, why you place 439 00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:07.679 others on the pedestal. You'll also learn not only how to have awareness around 440 00:35:07.760 --> 00:35:12.360 these behaviors, but you'll remove the energetic roots so you stop engaging in these 441 00:35:12.400 --> 00:35:16.639 behaviors. And then it give you tips and tricks and tools to practice staying 442 00:35:16.639 --> 00:35:21.840 on your own pedestal. So if you're having trouble with taking someone off your 443 00:35:21.840 --> 00:35:25.039 pedestal, or you're too used to putting someone on your pedestal, don't worry. 444 00:35:25.079 --> 00:35:29.599 It's just a bad habit, and habits can be broken. You're not 445 00:35:29.880 --> 00:35:34.519 stuck. You just need to learn a new way of perceiving and being, 446 00:35:34.880 --> 00:35:38.000 and it's possible with the Pedestal Path course. That link will be in the 447 00:35:38.039 --> 00:35:43.639 show notes. I do want to give you some tip, however, in 448 00:35:43.679 --> 00:35:47.840 this podcast episode. So my greatest tip, if you're used to putting someone 449 00:35:47.840 --> 00:35:52.760 else on your pedestal and you're trying to put yourself on the pedestal, definitely 450 00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:55.719 engage with non negotiables. As I stated at the top of this podcast, 451 00:35:57.199 --> 00:36:00.960 work on that self focus. Also, you know, give yourself grace. 452 00:36:02.039 --> 00:36:07.320 A lot of us are on this healing journey and it's four four four on 453 00:36:07.519 --> 00:36:10.679 my clock. A lot of us are on this healing journey and we're just 454 00:36:10.800 --> 00:36:16.400 trying our best, and it's not always easy to learn these new ways of 455 00:36:16.440 --> 00:36:21.599 being and these new behaviors. But don't get frustrated with yourself. You have 456 00:36:21.719 --> 00:36:23.880 been this way for your whole entire life. So it might take more than 457 00:36:23.920 --> 00:36:29.440 I don't know a week to completely embody a new sense of self. We 458 00:36:29.599 --> 00:36:32.519 think that overnight, I should just be better after one sixty second video, 459 00:36:32.519 --> 00:36:37.880 I should be healed. That is ridiculous. That is ridiculous. You need 460 00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:43.719 to give yourself time and space and energy in order to really become a new 461 00:36:43.840 --> 00:36:47.679 version of you. So it's not just having awareness, but it's now giving 462 00:36:47.719 --> 00:36:54.559 yourself time and energy to practice being someone new and not creating meaning or setting 463 00:36:54.599 --> 00:36:59.480 time limits around this phase of your life. A lot of us, when 464 00:36:59.480 --> 00:37:01.760 we're going through breakups, we think it's three months I should be over him. 465 00:37:02.119 --> 00:37:06.719 Why are you telling yourself what you should and should not be doing that? 466 00:37:06.719 --> 00:37:09.719 That doesn't make any sense. You don't know what needs to be released, 467 00:37:10.119 --> 00:37:14.480 and if you've been one way your whole entire life, it's going to 468 00:37:14.519 --> 00:37:17.400 take more than one week. In order to release all of those energies. 469 00:37:17.599 --> 00:37:24.000 So please have grace with yourself, have patience with yourself. I know that 470 00:37:24.119 --> 00:37:28.960 you would extend that grace and that patience to someone else in your reality. 471 00:37:29.400 --> 00:37:34.159 It's time that you now extend that grace and that patience to yourself. That's 472 00:37:34.159 --> 00:37:38.239 putting yourself on the pedestal. That's giving yourself leeway to grow and change. 473 00:37:38.360 --> 00:37:42.800 And by the way, when you're on this journey, you might trip up. 474 00:37:42.840 --> 00:37:45.079 Sometimes, you might go back into old ways of being, and that's 475 00:37:45.119 --> 00:37:50.519 okay. That is part of the transformation process. Is we're not perfect. 476 00:37:50.639 --> 00:37:55.039 We're just going for We're just going for progress here. It's not about perfection. 477 00:37:55.159 --> 00:37:59.320 It's about am I getting a little bit better today and a little bit 478 00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:00.960 better tomorrow? Oh? Did I trip up? Okay, tomorrow will be 479 00:38:01.000 --> 00:38:08.480 a better day. Be patient with your self and remember that if the cost 480 00:38:09.119 --> 00:38:15.840 is you self sacrificing, that cost is too high and nothing is worth you 481 00:38:15.960 --> 00:38:22.760 self sacrificing yourself Trying to preserve friendships and things that are outdated in your life 482 00:38:22.079 --> 00:38:29.880 are not worth stunting your own growth and missing your blessings. Choosing yourself is 483 00:38:30.079 --> 00:38:36.920 never the wrong answer. That is what a lioness does the lioness in their 484 00:38:36.960 --> 00:38:43.639 little tribes. Lioness are actually the hunters. Liing Ess know what they want 485 00:38:44.199 --> 00:38:46.840 and how to get it and how to hunt it down. You know what 486 00:38:46.880 --> 00:38:51.239 you want. You want to be in this magnetic energy. Now, it's 487 00:38:51.280 --> 00:38:57.000 about hunting that magnetic energy down by giving your self space to engage with these 488 00:38:57.000 --> 00:39:00.760 behaviors, to really allow yourself to grow into this new version of yourself, 489 00:39:01.119 --> 00:39:05.760 to really allowing yourself to feel what it feels to fill up your own cup. 490 00:39:06.360 --> 00:39:09.119 We're not fighting our way through this process. We're flowing with it. 491 00:39:10.239 --> 00:39:14.599 As always, the sparkle in me honors the sparkle in you. I hope 492 00:39:14.639 --> 00:39:17.440 this podcast has allowed you to have some light bulb moments and has shed light 493 00:39:17.679 --> 00:39:22.800 on things that will help you grow towards your most magnetic self. If this 494 00:39:22.880 --> 00:39:25.920 podcast episode resonated with you, please leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts and 495 00:39:25.960 --> 00:39:30.800 Spotify. It helps the podcast grow and it also means the world for me. 496 00:39:30.239 --> 00:39:35.119 If not for me, do it for you because good karma. Don't 497 00:39:35.119 --> 00:39:38.960 forget to pre order your special copy of Show Up as Her. The link 498 00:39:39.000 --> 00:39:43.559 will be in the show notes, and when you order, send me a 499 00:39:43.599 --> 00:39:45.719 screenshot so I can repost. I love sharing. It makes me so happy 500 00:39:45.960 --> 00:40:00.599 and I will see you in the next one. Cancer, how come? 501 00:40:01.400 --> 00:40:19.119 How can the jogy don't specien serp Kansas fact cancers, fat