I want to show you a brand new color away for the Rock Delta training
shoes. This is called Desert Sand. It's a badass color never seen before
on the market and the training shoe. And I just realized you also,
you just saw my big bottle of a pet. Look. I go hardcore
when I train. I don't have time to go to the bathroom. I
find a bottle, I pee in it, and I keep training like a
beast. Hey, look he's it. Hey, look he's it. Hey,
look's ice. Hey, what's up? Welcome to the s arc Tape
podcast. I was gonna go off on a I was gonna go off on
a real diet tribe, and I realized, like, wait a minute,
I can't do that. It's the top of the show. We gotta wait,
at least, we gotta wait at least for the for the AI algorithm
to become disinterested in what we're saying. That way we can go hard on
the paint deeper into the video. I think that's like a real thing,
right, I don't know it is a real thing, But it doesn't matter,
for it's just nothing matters. The algorithm is so against us right now,
it is Oh yeah, we we we have no algorithmic support whatsoever,
to the point where it's like it's a I am consistently astonished that we're successful
at this at all, because the algorithm really does not it if the algorithm,
if the algorithm was a person, it would have put a hit out
on us. I think by by now like there's a there's a deep,
deep disdain. But regardless, Welcome to the Snark Tank podcast. Sweeney is
Gone. Sweeney was unfortunately. He was taking his monthly walk and a van
pulled up to his house and said, hey, I got some comic books
inside and some Funko pops. And uh, the way that it's the way
that it shows up on the security camera footage that I saw was he said,
no fooling and then he bled up to it and then they grabbed him.
And we haven't heard of him since. I'm sure things are gonna be
fine. Like I don't know, I'm not really that worried about him.
Uh, but it was crazy in the surveillance footage how they grabbed him,
like they whisked him away like he was a five year old boy, Like
they like grabbed his hand and he just like got sucked into the van.
It was pretty insane. Yeah, like I don't know who was in the
fact it was such a small hand too, and the fact that it lifted
him with almost no no no effort, no struggle. It was as if
he was completely weightless. It's really disturbing footage. Maybe we'll put that out
for patrons. Yeah, that would be pretty good. Yes, snark Yeah,
Patreon dot com Yeah, Patreon dot com, slash the snark Tank go
there to uh obviously support our show, get early access, all that,
all that jazz ask questions that we will answer on the show. So exciting
news. The merch store snark Tank dot shop is officially it exists and it
is open for at the time that we are recording this. It is open
for patrons. Now there's it's it's five dollars and up. For a reason,
we're doing like pretty heavy discounts on that stuff for early access, and
we just kind of figure like, look, mad, we gotta lock you
guys in to get some of this early access. But there's a lot of
cool designs there. Some of them will be some of them are temporary,
they are limited edition designs. We're testing some stuff out, trying to see
like what people gravitate towards what people want. But snart Tank dot Shop it
is open. There is a password that we will send out to all patrons.
Well by the time you're hearing this, it'll be out on the on
the Patreon already, but there's a password for it, and you guys will
you'll get that and it'll be open for everybody on the seventeenth of May,
and that's when it'll go live for absolutely everybody. And maybe that'll maybe that'll
change, maybe it'll go live earlier. Who knows. We're really kind of
feeling this stuff out first merch operation, so we're we're just trying things little
a little late, a little late. We've been yeah, yeah, we've
been a podcast for like consistently for like four years. Well, we needed
we we we needed the time to build material so that we would have stuff
to put on shirts. Yeah. Yeah, we we did have one little
drop a while ago, but it was just kind of design Like I actually
liked those designs, but like they were just kind of, you know,
they were just interesting designs that were kind of like loosely, loosely associated with
us. We've got some really exciting stuff on the on snark Tank dot shop.
Uh that I'm really pumped about. There's a I threw together. Uh
some quick designs there are obviously some some designs are are are drawn by artists
from the community. I know Beanie Beanie Laninguini has some stuff up there,
and that's that's pretty exciting. But I think the the hoodie with Sweeney's gross
face on it, with the Scumbag Supreme logo underneath it is is probably gonna
be a big one. There's a I love when they came together. I
loved at the credits or something. I think I was like at the end
of the show. Yeah, it was. It was. It was in
my mind so much that I was like, I have to make this.
And so it's up there. We got a logo hoodie, We've got gay
Station three T, we got the the on cap no God hat, We've
got some other stuff, some dumb ship. There's a brill shirt up there
just for my own amusement, but like that'll be gone when it launches for
everybody. Nobody wants that fucking creature. But uh, we're excited about it.
So remember snark Tank dot shot and uh yeah, we'll we'll see you
there. Remember if you want to get early access is five dollars five patronic
complash of Snart tank five dollars up and then you get the password and all
that. But uh yeah, that'll that'll be it. What's what's what's in
the news? The rock? Apparently, yeah, a couple of rock things.
Really, there's a few rock related related incidents. What the heck is
going on with him? Somebody chose I don't know, somebody chose violent,
somebody he woke up and was like, you know what, fuck the rock.
I'm gonna put this out because I feel like this must have been known
for a very long time. But apparently he's somewhat of a menace on set
when he's filming movies. There was one thing that we're talking about him being
late on the set of I think it was called Red Arrow or some bullshit,
some Netflix thing, and it sounds like Sweeney he was. Yeah,
he was so late though that it costs the set, It cost the movie.
It was like tens of millions. I think it was like forty or
fifty million dollars of that is crazy because he was late for like an entire
like more than half a day of filming. Because then you know, they'll
film long days like twelve hours, sometimes even longer, and he was gone.
He was missing for more than half the day. Who knows what the
fuck he was doing. He was probably in his stupid do you know?
This motherfucker flies gyms with him when he goes wherever he's filming. He has
gyms manufactured like a big tent, makeshift tent thing that has air conditioning and
thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of weights that you don't need. That why
you're that's crazy. He's like, he's like, uh, he's like the
Olympics where they like build a stadium for him and then he goes there for
like three minutes and then leaves, and then there's like the leaves stadium that's
ruining the economy of the of the village or the city that it's in.
That's fucking awesome. There's yeah, I don't know, somebody, somebody just
leaked all this information. Apparently he he is late, but apparently he just
like pisses in bottles. I heard it, like it just in front of
people. Saved time somehow, like to save time. When you think about
that, think about that, actually, how much time? I feel the
same way about traffic when you see some pieces of shit like just zipping through
like they can't wait like ten seconds to like make their turn or whatever.
They have to hurry up and turn before you pass, or some shit,
And I'm like, you risking your life? Was that worth the three seconds
you gained going home? Like in this in the same fucking way the fucking
ruck. Yeah, the rug pissing in a bottle? What does that truly
accomplish? I think he just really wants to just show people his penis and
then just pissing up, Like what what what does that really alis? I'm
not stepping away for fucking a few minutes to the bathroom, go piss,
Yeah, I think the Yeah, maybe he's the idea. I don't know
have I ever put I must have pissed a bottle at least once, but
like this is not like a that's not like a common occurrence of anything.
I think I did it once on the trip when I was driving, when
me and Jalen were driving too, like to LA from New York, and
there was just nowhere, there's just nowhere. I think it was like a
traffick and I was like, listen, this is this is this needs to
stop. But the idea that he makes like a habit of this and that
people have like watched him do it is crazy. That's so, that's so
insane. It doesn't I was just trying to think of, like, Okay,
why gamers do it, right, Gamers do it usually because they're in
these long ass sessions or whatever, and they're lazy fucks. Obviously it's all
late. That's crazy too, But that's crazy. It's definitely crazy. But
at least I understand a I'm not condoning it. I'm just saying I understand
a purpose. We're like, say, usually those motherfuckers in a long session
of like fucking star Craft whatever it is, and they're like I can't leave
or I'm gonna die, and so they piss in a bottle. When you're
on a movie that can cut at any moment, at any moment, cut
like take take five, and like it doesn't make any sense. I don't
get that. It doesn't make any sense, especially because he's late to all
this shit. So if he's like always late, but he's like pissing,
like you're not offsetting the time that you like, oh you're five hours late,
You're oh you're five hours late to a shoot, so like, let
me just piss in a bottle. It's like, no, just at the
very least, like take the five take the three minutes to go piss and
not do it in front of like seven interns in a ten No. No,
Like it's so crazy, you know what. I also love about that.
So clearly since he's pissing in a bottle, he's not shaking, well,
he's not, like, you know, you gotta really give your your
your your dick a few good shakes. You gotta, like, if you
don't want to get like a bunch of drip all over yourself, all over
your fucking box, you gotta you gotta ring it out. You gotta give
it a good tug. Yeah, you gotta really, you gotta really get
it out there. And him, he's pissing in a bottle. You know,
there's this piss dripping on his dick, and he puts it right back
into his costume whatever he's wearing, and now he ruined his costume and then
he needs to change anyway, like you rock, you got a little bit
of peepy drip, and he's like, oh sorry, sorry about that.
And then and then he just naked in front of everyone. He changes in
front of everyone, back to wardrobe. He's like, bring wardrobe here.
I know, there's no time, there's no time, and he's he's he's
still pissing as he's changing. Do you think he like it in the hole
of the bottle? Do you think he like, Yeah, he doesn't,
He's fucking I've always dude. Some people surprised me with their just this how
stupid they are. We're like, I don't understand how you piss it,
Like, like you know, the a regular soda bottle has like a small
hole, or like a water bottle or anything intensely small. Yeah, like
like like a ridiculous And motherfuckers are like, I don't understand how you pissing
that thing. I'm like, wait, are you trying to shove your penis
in the hole and not just put your head up to it? You put
the tip of your head up to it, so then you just piss in
the thing. And when people are talking about like it being too small,
I'm like, what are you doing? Are you trying to shove your dick
in the hole? I don't get it. Like people are like, wait,
but then I might spill I guess that's their logic of like they gotta
get to it, because I've heard that a few times and people saying it
was too small, and I'm like, I wait, pissed stream is so
wide like a fire hose, and they just I don't understand. That logical
thing completely escapes me. Oh man, I want to be on. I
want to be I want to be on the Sabbath of the Rock. I
gotta see what that's like. I got to experience. I want to be
a background actor and just see how he operates. I wonder if he's one
of the people that you can't look him in the eye, because I always
thought that was fake. But I've heard enough stories like the whole thing you
can't look people in the eyes, directly in the eyes, like usually the
main talent. I like, I vote, yeah, So I thought that
was just a trope. And but I've heard enough stories Steve Harvey Ellen DeGeneres.
But like you hear this as a trope in movies. They'll be like,
don't look don't look so and so in the eye. And I always
thought like, oh, that's just that's just a trope, you know,
like you can't. But apparently there's been enough people like assistants, extras,
people that have done multiple things pas that are like, oh, you can't
if you're lesser than you can't directly address them, you can't stare at them
them, Like what do you mean? How does how does that even work?
Yeah, apparently somebody fired. Good, Oh, somebody got fired for
a security guard. I got fired on the set. I think it was
a set of fuck. I can't remember which said. I think it was
one of the fuck I'm gonna mess us up, so I'm not even gonna
say what it was. I remember. I just remember a story that a
security guard who is supposed to who's guarding the main star's trailer. The star
was coming back to the trailer and the security guard just said hi, because
it's weird to not look at somebody while they're passing by. It's just like,
unless you're going somewhere, you're not really staying at people, and you're
standing on someone's coming in your direction, you look at them. And so
he did that. Apparently that's a very American thing. Did you know that?
I didn't know that then that was like an American thing to like when
Apparently, like when it's an easy sign, Like it's an easy tell when
Americans are in other countries because like when they walk past people on the street,
they give them like a like a like a like a nod like yeah,
like a nod of yeah, just like acknowledgment. And it's like,
don't do that. Nobody, nobody else does that. I thought it's so
strange. I don't see anything wrong with that, yeah, because it's it's
literally just a second of it's usually literally just a height and then I'm never
gonna see this person again probably, or like I don't have a problem with
that. It's if some motherfucker tries to actually put a sentence out, then
that's when I usually get annoyed, Like if they actually say something like how
you doing or something, and I'm like, I wasn't expecting that, and
I'll usually say something stupid or I'll say the exact same thing because I'm just
caught off guard. How are you doing? I'm like, how you doing?
And I'm just like, oh, fuck, I just asked another question
is question there's like nigga, don't say anything, just yeah. Like I'll
be like, it's like how you doing it? And then I'll be like
you too, absolutely, I've absolutely, I've definitely done that to like Postmates
people or like when I get like food order, it's like all right,
enjoy and I like you too, and I like fuck YouTube Like fuck,
I'm like, yeah, it's your responsibility to not trap me like that say
something. Disagree. I agree, Yeah, yeah, it's it's don't say
that to me. I'm not thinking about this interaction. This is like,
this is a necessity to get to where I need to get, which is
like in possession of my food. But yeah, like I don't know,
like I think that must be like a real thing, like where he was
like, oh yeah, you can't look at town at the very least,
it's a trope for a reason, you know what I mean, because it
exists on some level. I don't know how intense it is. I don't
know, Like I'm sure I doubt that was the case on like the fucking
pop Tart movie that Jerry Seinfeld did, Like I don't think that was a
very serious environment at all, but I would I would wager that, like,
yeah, if you're doing like a Marvel movie or something, it's like,
yeah, don't look at Chris Pratt. It's distracting you. See that
thing about how he tore down like a historic landmark. He did that,
he did so he so he and his wife apparently. Look, I don't
I I could be spreading wise right now, but like whatever, like I
saw, I saw this on TikTok whatever, I'm gonna spread it. If
it's misinformation, let me know. I can't be fucked. But I'm pretty
sure there was a story about like him and his wife buying a buying like
this old mansion and it was apparently like a very historic like it was like
something about it was like very historically significant, like it was the first example
of like modern architecture of like like modern luxury architecture in like the fifties or
something, and they tore it down to build their own mansion, and like
the community is like pissed about it because it's like that was like a relic.
It was like the own little standing relic of like that time, and
they just tore it the fuck down. But it sounds right, that sounds
totally believable. That's so that totally sounds like some rich fuck that just doesn't
give a shit about history. That that and uh, and from the little
bit that I know about Chris Pratt, extremely religious weirdo. He's in one
of those sets of There was a cull what's it called Hillsong. I think
it was Hillsong Church or hill Crest. I think it's Hillsong. That's crazy,
He'll sounds like a cult. It is. There was this church that
started in Australia called I'm pretty sure it's called Hillsong if I I'm not even
looking up, I'm too lazy, but I'm pretty sure it's Hillsong. And
Hillsong was, you know, of course a cult church, and they obviously
molested their members because of course, because of course. And then so there
was an offshoot that started in America. I can't remember what it's called,
but Chris Pratt that's a part of it. At least he was at the
time I was looking this up, justin Bieber, a bunch of celebrity.
It was like all the celebrities were joining this cult fucking offshoot of that church.
Of the founder who molested one of or straight up raped one of the
members. I think he went to prison for it. And then like the
fucking sun took over and just kind of swept a under the rug because you
know, they're all scompacks, and so you know, it's it's it's pretty
cool. It's pretty cool to I don't really know how you get into cults
nowadays. I've been thinking about that. I've been thinking about like, yeah,
it doesn't really make sense to me. I tried. I was thinking
about maybe he's trying to start one, but I wouldn't even know where to
go about it. But you know what's weird about that though, I feel
like, at the same time, I know what you're saying, where it's
like, where do you even go to get into a cult? But at
the same time, I all, there's part of me that also feels like
it's probably very, very easy to start one. Yeah it is, you
know, I would you and I have enough influence over the internet to start
a cult, even if like some people thought it was a joke at first.
Say, for example, right now, with uh that that the gay
parody ship that I've been leading into more, I could be like, oh,
I'm going to start a fucking gay parody organized something. I could you
know, just say it's something, and then it just gets more serious and
more serious over time, Like uh, my friend we talked about making the
first church of Batman and making a bat Bible and all this stuff, and
then we were talking about like if we did this, I people will literally
join and then we can have them drink poison kool aid at the end,
like it's it's a thing that you could actually do, and it's Yeah,
I think I think between the between you and I and maybe even sweety,
I think we could get at least ten people, you know what I mean,
at least ten, And I'm saying like ten like devout, like like
I'm talking about ten, like devout, like really like like you'll do our
This is my entire Yeah, this is my entire life. And that's really
kind of all you need, really, you know what I mean. Like
if you get like ten people of like even remotely slightly wealthy stufing, like
let's say, you'd be like, all right, this this costs, Like
we're gonna need donations for our church and we need like, uh, you
know, five hundred from each of you every every single month. Even if
you have ten people doing that, that's that's pretty good. That's not bad
money. You know, it really does not take a lot to con or
it doesn't take a lot to get a lot. I guess is what I'm
saying. It doesn't. But man, and I just I guess I understand.
Obviously it made sense back in the day. Colts made sense. How
it happened. You had a lack of information, there's nothing, you didn't
have access to anything, so you just have to trust what people were telling
you. Some charismatic fuck comes along and says they have all the answers,
and you're like, you know what, I trust this person now. It's
like right with with this thing. I feel like it's so easy to just
not I don't understand. The people theorized I want to. I'm gonna get
your take on it. People theorize that humans were engineered, right, like
say, some gay aliens came along at some point and like fuck with some
monkeys or some apes or whatever, and engineered us to be brilliant but also
retarded, like super subservient and like a complete oxymoron, like a thing that
should not exist to where we can build these amazing fucking skyscrapers and do all
this crazy stuff with like architecture, quantum computing and all this stuff, but
then at the same time be like that fucking Colt seems pretty cool or like
this orange fucking douchebag. This guy's gonna save us like this, this is
like yeah, you get to an offset. We're like huh, how is
this possible? Yeah? Because like the most yeah, because like the most
retarded ant is still not that far off from the most intelligent one. You'd
imagine, you know what I mean, Like it's probably like maybe the divide
between the two is so so slim as to mean nothing at all, Like
you would really not be able to be like, oh that that ant is
so much smarter than that other one. It's like what is it really doing
to demonstrate that? But with a person, it's like noticeable where it's like
and even like within the same person because they'll be like, oh, we
talked about it before on the show. Where's like, oh, like Isaac
Newton's like like this brilliant like oh uh invented calculus or whatever. And then
like he's like gargling mercury before he goes to sleep because he thinks he's gonna
become gold or something like he gets fucking inshmee. But like yeah, I
don't I don't know. I've I've talked about like my thought of like how
there's like a limited almost like cloud storage of human intelligence, and the more
people there are, like the less bandwidth it has. But yeah, I
don't know, man, it's all it's all fucking crazy. It is crazy.
I think I feel like I guess when it comes to programming, right,
you're programming a computer even as just like a virtual intelligence or something and
not like fully self aware, and you have to I feel like you program
it one way and it can't hold this type of cognitive dissonance because it's been
programmed. It's like I can't hold these two certain views because they're completely contradictory
and like great, and I feel like people, you know, they are
technically programmed in a way and they've been thinking one way for a very long
time. But I don't understand, Like I was just I was literally thinking
about this this morning for whatever reason. I was thinking. I saw this
interview a while ago and it sticks with me. Where there's this street interviewer
guy. He's interviewing a Midwestern farmer, and this Midwestern farmer is basically saying
how much Trump is like him, He's one of us. And I really
I'm like, I really like, I'm like, hold hold on, a
second, like I really want to examine this because this motherfucker is dirty,
grimy. You know, he's never had a handout, like he's fucking he's
worked all of his life to maintain his farm, and I'm like, how
could you possibly believe this? Like I really, I really like it's one
of those things we almost want to take a shovel and hit the guy because
you're like you're used to you're used to. It's almost like, oh,
but maybe this will be like a factory reset if you think about it in
the terms of computers. I almost look at not even necessarily those people specifically,
but like generally people who I think I think most people hold contradictory beliefs
on some level, like whether they but there's there are people where it's like
it is so fundamental that like it's it's kind of shocking that they can persist.
And I almost look at it as like, you know how like when
a game or like a computer system is coded incorrectly and then two things contradict
with each other and then there's like an error and then the thing crashes and
dies. Yeah, yeah, I feel like what you're looking at. I
feel like what you're looking at is a sentient crash almost because people don't need
to be logical to survive necessarily. All they need is food, water,
and environment, So like they're not they don't need logical consistency to stay alive.
But like when that does happen, when that feedback loop happens and then
the game crashes, the person continues and then they continue to crash. It's
almost like a domino thing where it's like crash, crash, crash, crash,
crash, and then before you know it, it's like, yeah,
yeah, I believe in I believe in the core principles of America and American
exceptionalism. But also, yeah, I don't mind that this guy wants to
be a dictator and that he said it and it's well, you said it,
you know, it's that's you're you're looking at you're looking at you know,
a glitch basically, Yeah, and it's yeah, it's interesting. You
ever see, uh, there's something about Mary. Do you ever see that
movie? I think so like a long time. I've only seen it once.
Yeah, it's super old. I think it's I think it's a fairly
brother movies with Ben Stiller and Keete David Night. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know this nineteen eighth, ninety eight. Yeah, sorry, yeah,
okay, don't if if you if you're like, no, it's definitely
my I would have probably melted because I'm like, there's no way, but
oh my fucking god. Did you see that? By the way, sorry,
did you see that they're making a fucking Sausage Party TV show? Who
asked for that? Yeah? That's exactly what. That's exactly what that.
My first thought was like, who the fuck? What did what did we
do to deserve this? But like, yeah, there's a I I that's
a real thing. It's apparently coming to what is this first pluster for the
Sausage Party sequel series on Prime Video? They can't all be hits. Just
just when I was like giving fucking Amazon so much, so many flowers,
now like the Amazon's been killing it and then they're like, hey, Sausage
Party. Yeah yeah, yeah, well, uh, I ain't watching that,
though. I hope they I hope I hope they continue the tradition of
uh string over their animators that the movie that the movie had. Do you
remember that that whole thing how they like just didn't pay their animators at all.
Yeah, that's that's something that's such a shocker when like, you know,
they have all the money in the world. That's such an abusive thing
too, because it's like, hey, go animate this movie. Yeah,
that is like go do this movie. That sucks, right, you You
have to you have to spend hours and hours watching like hot dogs pretend to
be penises, and then you have to make that a reality. You have
to spend hours texturing this thing and like hooking it up to like a rig,
and then like make it like, oh man, I'm spending hours and
hours and weeks and weeks and days and days animating this fucking hot dog that's
clearly a dick joke the entire time. And then on top of making me
animate this, they're just going to fuck me over financially as well. That
is crazy. It sounds about right, it's it's just it's so disgusting because
like these obviously these studios, the producers that are funding everything, blah blah
blah, they have so much fucking money, like they can't like they they
can, they can shell out the money easily. They just choose not to
because they're absolute fucking dirt bags. And you know, I actually just watched
something this uh popped up on my screen because there's drama with this one YouTuber.
I didn't know what the fuck it was about. I just want to
know about. There's this guy that I like. This guy, his name's
Rich from review Tech USA. I don't have a problem, yeah, but
there's some drama with him and his editor or something, and I'm like,
what the fuck's going on? I try to understand it, and because of
that, algorithmically some stuff about him has popped up on my feed. And
it was this one drama that I loved so much. It was it was
him back in twenty fourteen. It was him versus this guy named Big Cheese.
It just had to do. It had to do with like two hundred
dollars, dude. It's it's a long story short. This guy, there's
a guy in Big Cheese Gaming. He was like, hey, can you
uh, I'll send you. I'll send you a laptop of PC and stuff,
and in exchange is advertise on my channel. Okay, cool, gol
cool. But Rich doesn't go through it, and then it's like, sends
another piece scene and he's like, all right, let's just extend it,
let's actually go through it. And then on top of that, I just
need two hundred dollars And it was just two hundred dollars. And I'll keep
in mind Rich was making a lot of money, his channel was doing very
well. But the whole, the whole thing about this, it was just
like it was astounding me kind of remembering this whole thing where it was this
huge drama over two hundred dollars that I was like, bro, you can
easily pay him, Like please, just pay this fucking man and be done
with this. In the same vein as I think about like, oh,
here's these animators there there. They did their thing. Pay them. You
have the money to do it easily. So much money is gonna be spent
on advertising and all this shit that's gonna cost infinitely more than what you owe
these motherfuckers. And then you just like, nah, I'm good, you
get here, here's some crumbs. There you go, And I'm just like,
what what possesses people to do this when, especially when you have like,
imagine you're fucking rich, dude, imagine you're rich. And thenine like
you mentioned Beanie Linguini, and like, yeah, you know, here's a
here's a free T shirt in your ten bucks for your fucking art. You
know what I mean. You're like, but you can, you can,
I know you can afford it, Please pay me? Nah, all right?
And I'm just like it's it's okay. And I'm like, why are
these people I'm I don't mean this by rich but I'll just say the people,
the stress, the exact Why Why is angry mob justice not more of
a At this point, I'm like, come on, man, yeah,
I don't know. I just want what I want. Yeah, what whatever?
So we got so, we got sauceress party coming, we got pop
tarts coming, which I still am a little disappointed that the pop Tart movie
is not in an animated movie like in the B movie. Like, I'm
still mad about that. I'm still like, what the fuck? Man?
I was looking forward to seeing something like that and not just Jerry Seinfeld standing
around being like pop Tarts, pop Tart, what's the deal? And then
Michael Richards throwing pop tarts at black people. Yeah, yeah, he's He's
throwing them like fucking destructo discs. He's sawing people in half. He's actually
like the final boss of the movie is Michael Richards at the laugh Factory throwing
pop tarts at black people and vivisecting them. Saw. Yeah, that's his
revenge, his revenge aft after having after being humiliate pop tarts at you people
just back in the day, Back in the day, Kellogg's would have had
you on a spike outside of the offices. What's the big deal? You
can't Favis sect black people with pop tarts? What are you doing? No,
it just transitions away. Let's hold on. Yeah, this is all
right. So this is the Seinfeld This is a is a Seinfeld episode.
It opens, it opens right, it's like and then Cramer's just like he's
in the middle of it. He's already like killing he's he's throwing these pop
tarts with such insane like they're breaking the sound barrier. There's like there's pockets
of light emanating behind them. At just an audio, he's in Atlanta and
he's doing a set in Atlanta, and he's just throwing he's throwing pop tarts
of black people, and he's he's shutting every word out of his mind.
There's no coherent sentence out of his mouth that isn't laden with slurs. And
it's like really old school, like it's not even just the end word.
It's like, yeah, he's all boon crickets and like all this crazy old
ship. Yeah, and he's just like he has he has. He has
a big, like the fallout Duffel bag full of them. He's like rolling
them, he's throwing them. And Jerry Seinfeld is in the back like,
Cramer, no, stop it, You're we gotta protect our syndication. What
are you doing? And it cuts to George Yeah in the audience, and
he's like, Jerry, get me out of here, Jerry, get me
out here. Jerry. It's dark. You might think I'm black. Get
me out of here, Jerry. You might get me out of here.
Flack. He's scared. He's like the only white person in the room,
but he does. But it's dark, so it doesn't matter. He's just
he's Kramer's aiming indiscriminately because that's that's his m O. And George is scared.
He's panicking. He's pissing his pants. His pants are soaked. He's
like, help me, Jerry, help me get me out here. Jerry,
Okay, I help you. I'm scared. Is the lane there?
What is she doing? No? She was She's smart enough to cut with
these years ago she's too smart for that. But yeah, I don't know,
man, I'm curious about that. That movie so that pops our movie
so strange because like it's got like Megan Melissa McCarthy and like Amy Schumer in
it, and I don't really like them at all. But the idea that
they even made this movie in the first place is so like, I don't
know if the movie is going to be funny, but it's funny that that
movie exists because apparently Kelloggs didn't even know that they were doing it. Like
Jerry Seimer was just like, yeah, well, they like they like forged
the legal letter from their lawyer saying that like, yeah, it's probably fine,
and then they just made the movie and then like at some point and
then at some point they were like, oh you're making this movie, and
it's like, oh, okay, I mean I guess it's like I guess
it's free advertising, so I guess we'll, like, I guess we'll help
you promote it. But like, what the fuck? You don't want to
take Sionfield either, Yeah you might, he might. He might have the
sick Michael Riches on them. You know, just fucking clean some shit up.
If they didn't if they didn't get their way, So maybe that was
a threat. No matter what that was, that was a threat. It's
like, listen, you can let us make this movie or we'll have Michael
Richards got on the lack Factory again with a pop tart and shout the most
It's almost like you remember, like how do you remember Kanye West with you
who? It's like it's like it's like that where it's like, we're going
to if you don't let us do this, we're gonna give you, like
some of the worst brand recognition you've ever had in your entire life. So
just it's it's best for you to just comply with us here, please,
for the good of everything. You don't want to you don't want what's coming.
You don't want this promise you. I mean I would, I would,
I would agree. I would be like, oh yeah, I really
don't want that. I fucking do it. Make a stupid, fucking pop
tart movie. It was the last time you had a pop tart, like
genuinely maybe two three years ago. I bought fake pop tarts, uh,
like Walmart brand. You know, it's just value pop tarts, you know
what I mean? Because I just wanted some I'm not really a breakfast person,
but I was like, I only breakfast when I needed it. I
used to I used to old job I had. I used to ride my
bike eighteen miles round trip, and I needed, you know, calories to
work and to say myself. So I would eat usually cliff bars or whatever.
But I was just kind of yeah, I was like, you know
what, dude, I miss I missed that bullshit. And I didn't want
to spend the money for pop tarts, so I just got the fake shit.
But all right, it's just first of all, I don't did you
ever warm them up? Did you ever put them in the uh? Like
yeah, yeah, I actually I would put them in the I would put
them in the toaster, but sometimes I wouldn't. But like sometimes if I
felt like I just kind of wanted, like yeah, I kind of want
like a hot thing today or like right now, like I'll put them in
the I never had a toaster. We always had a toaster oven. But
like, oh, is there like a toaster is so big? I think
maybe like when I was like like really like maybe when I was like five,
But I think at a certain point they were like a toaster is so
big and so specific in its utility that like, it just makes more sense
to have a toaster reven that like does the same thing but does more taking
up that same amount of counter space, you know what I mean. That's
kind of how I felt when I was like furnishing my own apartment, where
I was like, I'm not gonna get a toaster. It's gonna take up
like a sizeable amount of counter space. When I get a toaster oven that
does like everything a toaster does, end like everything else. Also, you
know what I mean. I mean, there's some pretty small toasters man that
just like cause you really only put it's more about the toasters, but I
get it, it does the same. It's more about the out it does
the same. It's more about the outlet space because there's only like a limited
amount of because I'm not gonna pull the stove out, you know what I
mean. So there's only like there's only like one I have one outlet in
my kitchen or like well two, I guess specifically, but like one little
section, I know what you mean, right, So it's like I'm not
gonna I'm not gonna waste one of these on a on a wasted with the
toaster. I mean, you can't just you can't just unplug it. I
guess I could, but that's the thing. It's like I have a limited
like I'm already doing that as it is, because I have the toaster of
it, and then I have my coffee maker, and then I have like,
uh, what is it? Well, I guess I bring certain things
out like rice cookers when I need it or whatever, and it's just like
it's another appliance and I'm like, I don't, I don't, I don't
know, man, I don't need this. Yeah, dude, I'm fucking
speaking of that. I'm this is the amount of man California, bro.
So I've been in. I've been in. I've been in. I've been
in Vegas for since twenty twenty one, Sincember were twenty twenty one, and
I made the mistake. I don't know if I said this on the podcast
or I've just said this off talking to other people, but I've been looking
for apartments, uh, trying to move back by June Jojo. She's gonna
go fuck off back or a country for a while and go hang out while
I figured all this bullshit out, Like oh, really, And yeah,
so it's because really, because the thing might drive her to work and I
need to leave. I need to go to California and I need to go
be there to My main concern is not getting fucked a place. And I
think I might have said this on the podcast before, just I just can't
deal with some roach infested apartment. I need to scope it out and see
if there's any signs of that shit. Anyway, So I've been like,
rap, there isn't that many apartments available that are reasonably priced, and reasonably
prices in fucking quotations already, because I I just out of curiosity started looking
at apartments over in Vegas, and I was so upset. The first day
I did that, I actually got dizzy because there was a brand new,
like just whole brand new apartments three bedroom fucking seventeen hundred just seventeen hundred,
three bedrooms, fucking gym every I was just like it made it And then
there's houses for similar prices too like that, and I was just like it
just made me busy, it really is, I was. I was,
so there's a part of me that I'm like, all right, I have
to make like twice as much to justify moving back to California really, right,
So basically meaning I have to grind because otherwise it just pissed me off
so much, and I'm like, what am I doing to myself? I
know, the whole point or the whole purpose is like, oh, let's
do it. Let's get the podcast. Uh, we're recording a person.
Let's let's try to vamp things up. But I'm also like, all right,
I'm four there. You can barely find you can barely, like for
seventeen hundred you can. There's a couple of one bedroom apartments, but it's
mostly you. That's studio numbers. That's studio apartment, right, you know,
And I'm just like that, It's crazy, God, that makes no
goddamn sense. Like the good thing, I mean, the good thing about
because of like where we like what our job is, we write off we
can write off a lot of that rent, thankfully, but like it's still
used to have to pay it, you know. It's it's like, yeah,
it's it's it's truly, I'm really astounded that things have not collapsed because
they keep they keep building new apartment buildings, right, but they're all like
luxury apartment buildings, but they're not also you know what I mean, Like
they say they're luxury apartments, but they're really just like what you would expect
at a standard building. Like the luxury apartments that exist that are being built
up right now are really the same but like ostensibly no different than the apartment
that my parents had growing up, and that was not a luxury apartment.
It's just like they marketed as luxury because it's like ooh, there's a lobby
or like oh they're it's like air conditioning, and it's like, yeah,
this is not like what do you think, what do you like? What
do you think luxury is? That? It is so crazy? That is
this fucking bullshit? Man, I I truly do by these apartments. Who
the fuck is left for like, oh, one bedroom, five thousand dollars
apartment? It's like, who the fuck is buying? Who is doing well
enough to justify this? Are you crazy? Bro? And I'll look at
uh this is funny there there's some of those higher end apartments I'm looking at
and they're like and they're not that good, right, like you're saying.
I was like, all right, these y this is nice, but it's
not. And then You'll look at the requirements and they're like you you have
to make three times monthly? What the what the what the monthly rent is?
And they'll verify it through a paste of And I'm like, what piece
of shit making that much money would live there? If someone's making upwards of
ten thousand dollars a month, who's gonna like you would prop live in a
much better place. You would probably live in a better place than like this
fucking sardine fucking area with the Yeah, you've got like a nice apartment,
but I'm like, bro, bro, you gotta make fifty dollars a day,
sorry to afford this three thousand dollars bedroom, like with some one better
apartment. It's like you think I'm looking for this? Are you stupid?
I'm in a penthouse somewhere if I'm making that money, like it's so it
is embarrassing, and quite frankly, I was gonna like, I don't know,
man. I was raised to be almost like honest to a fault with
this stuff, where like I would tell like I would, I would be
like really like straight, like like really accurate about my resume and like really
accurate about applications and really accurate about that stuff, and then at a certain
point I just started lying because like, yeah, none of this shit is
fair anyway. So like honestly, like I'm I remember when I got this
apartment because we had split the podcast up. It was easy. It was
easy before when I was like all the money was coming into my account and
then I would pay everybody, so like on paper, like I looked really
good, you know, to people when I was like leaving pro apartments,
It's like, oh my god, he's making like a shit ton of money
for like you know, and on top of sacred it was just like,
oh, obviously, yeah, this guy can afford this, right, But
it wasn't accurate because I was paying all that money out, like like the
majority of that money was going to you and Sweeney. So it was like
so I remember being like when I moved here, we weren't doing that,
so I couldn't do that, and I just remember being like, I'm gonna
I'm gonna fake these bank statements because like what the fuck, what are they
gonna do? Like really, like truthfully speaking, do they give a shit.
No, they just want somebody in there that's going to pay on time,
and I will Sorry, like I don't. I really don't care anymore
about that stuff, Like I will, I will like tooth and like through
a fucking through my fucking soul to these people. Specifically, you have to
I could give a fuck less. You have to, Yeah, you have
to. You have to. You have to, like especially for a lot
of things to get like the best credit limits and all that, just say
you make infinitely more than you actually do. I fucking I'll say that I
make like four times what I actually make, and then so you can just
get a much larger limit because like they don't, y, yeah, they
don't. I try to be careful with that stuff, but like when it's
interpersonal and it's like in exchange for like a for a physical utility, but
like your arbit like the gatekeeping of that is so arbitrary, like objectively where
it's like yeah, no, I no, sorry, Like what the fuck
you're not gonna give me this apartment that I can obviously afford, because like
you're waiting for a who are you waiting for to get this apartment? Tony
Stark. Tony Starks is not looking at your bro. There's no fucking in
unit washer. You think like a fucking but who do you think is moving
in here that you've got the goal to be this exersive about it. Jesus
Christ, it's so stupid. I've written off some places because of stupid shit
like that, where I like, I don't understand your requirements are so astronomically
stupid. And uh again, there's an apartment where right up the street from
where I grew up, and I thought it was I was like, oh,
they must have revamped this whole place, because from my understanding, that's
where a bunch of pieces of shit always lived. But yeah, it looked
nice inside, so I guess they just redid everything but the asking price and
then the three times the thing, and like the skimping that they do too.
Like I remember, like the the the apartment that we started the podcast
in, uh, the one that I was living in, I believe,
on olive in Burbank. That apartment I remember behind like there was a mold
issue because Sweeney had cracked the tub because of course he like he's a six
foot he's because he's six foot and like you know, however big he is,
he's a big guy. So like I don't know, he was doing
jumping Jackson the tub I guess, and then he cracked the tub and somehow
didn't notice, somehow didn't notice and was taking showers and then like that got
into the wall and there was like water damage and I was like, hey,
there's fucking water damage in the thing, and they're like, okay,
we'll come fix it. They came in at nine am. I left the
apartment for about like three hours. I came back and it was all fixed,
and I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And
I checked and they just painted over. They just painted over the black fucking
wall, like they painted over the mall. And I was like, are
you fucking for real? And I was like that was when I was like,
we gotta get the fuck out of here. Like I don't trust these
people even slightly. That is wild that that these I swear to you.
I swear to you a lot of these buildings are gonna collapse one day because
all of them are water damage in some way, like and like it's just
gonna be like rusted pipes and they're all just gonna like fall fall in on
themselves. And that's my hope, quite frankly, because oh my god,
the payout for that is gonna be so sick of like if I survive from
something like that, like, oh dude, see, that's what I'm set.
That's what makes me want to be on the top floor. I want
to be on the top floor because of that, to where like, oh
shit collapses, I have a good chance of surviving because I'm collapsing on someone
instead of being collapsed on and uh so, man, there's the inconvenience of
bringing stuff upstairs, like ah, fuck, I gotta bring all my ship
upstairs. But then, you know, inevitably, when when the foundation crumbles
because of all this shit fucking construction and poor maintenance, then yeah, there
you go. Yeah, because because fifty percent of the foundation is water damaged
pipes, rusted metal, and roach roaches just masturbating all over each other in
the fucking crevices of your apartment. Yeah, it's a fuck. It's a
rough world. It's a rough world out there. Hopefully at some point we
get enough sense. I don't know, man, I do have this fantasy
of just like maybe I hope that I live to see at some point people
just finally have enough. But like, I don't know if that's ever really
going. I don't know if it's not already there. Like, I really
I struggle to imagine, like what could possibly be the thing that tips people
over, because I really don't understand what more they could do to you.
I don't know how much more basic, basic necessities they could keep you out
of before you're before you get furious enough to like do something crazy. I
don't know, right, you've heard of the boiling frog theory. I feel
like the frog has been thoroughly fucking cooked. Man. I think I think
they've already done everything they It's so like I was just talking to Jojo about
this the other day, saying, Hey, all of those gun loving Second
Amendment people, for example, that talk about having these guns to do something
about the terror turannical government blah blah blah blah blah. And every day in
the fucking media they're hearing that the government are tyrants and they're doing all this
horrible shit and blah blah blah. And I'm like, well, yeah,
well, I was meaning that that was the storm of the Capitol thing.
I just remember being like, wow, this is like the worst reason for
that, Like this is a this is something that probably should be happening,
but what a terrible reason for it and then like for the even yeah,
like it's just such a wild And then even though they were like completely even
though they were pushed to that brink to do that the first place, it
didn't they it didn't matter anyway, you know, they got because they they
stormed it. And then they were like, all right, let's take a
selfie on that fucking Pelosi's desk, and it's like, really, yeah,
man, only a handful of people there, you know. The craziest ones
took it seriously in a way that they brought weapons and they brought things that
they thought this was once, like this is the real thing, this is
the thing that we've all been talking about doing. Oh and most of them
were just a little bit angry and then trespassed in a way that I'm like,
you, you guys, you're all talking here, and this is the
thing. I was like, in a real if if the fucking National Guard
came, it was those people versus the National Guard, they would surrender immediately,
immediately, they would surrender. And that's why I'm just like these anything
could be done, anything can be done. We're thoroughly cooked. I think
propaganda is too. I don't think propaganda should work nowadays, but it works
extremely well anytime I'm reading the news, like the protests that are going on
right now in the college campuses. If you look at say a lot of
right wing media and left wing for a lot of it, because a lot
of them are kind of doing the same thing. They're saying these demonstrations are
pro Hamas. They're saying pro Hamas, and I'm like, this is this
somebody should be sued for this, this should be You can't say that,
you can't. These are the clearly not pro Hamas demonstrations. It's so fucking
stupid a say, but they can get away with it. They just they
just do. You know what's crazy. You know what's crazy too, is
that like we're we're we're entering this point in time where there are there's already
the first logged crime of AI used to frame somebody for something like that's that's
there's like an official like log like in like it's like, okay, this
is the first, and like laws are starting to be passed because like some
I can't remember the finer g tales of this will be wrong, but like
the the general point of it is is accurate and true. But like there
was like some principle at like some school district somewhere who uh there was a
recording going around of him saying like something about Jews or something about like,
uh, you know black students, not if one of the if more African
students fail, or like I don't I don't know how much I could deal
with these fucking people. And like this recording going around and it was like
spread from like an employee to like a student, and then from the student
through the school and then from the school to social media generally. And this
dude just got like harassed endlessly and it was all It turns out it was
all AI from like an employee that got fired, like some guy just like
made it in like a fucking AI studio. And then now they're like they're
drafting laws up for it. So like we're entering a really fucking crazy,
a wild wild at time. Yeah that uh, we don't know, it's
crazy. Let's see, it's gonna be weird. We're getting we're goet,
We're getting into the realities of the world, which is not fun. So
let's move on to some of our questions from our patrons over at patreon dot
com. Slashes narctank. Remember five dollars up and you can. You can
ask us a question and more likely than not, we'll read it. Try
to obviously, keep it, keep it pithy, make it a good question.
I do wanna. So there's this one thing here where wait, what
is this? What the fuck is Okay, mister hot Salsa wrote and says,
question what dragon ball ability would you like to obtain? For me?
It's instant transmission, that is the obvious answer. But yeah, I would,
I would go for I would go for solar flare. I like the
idea that at any moment in time I could blind someone with just my form
hole. Yeah, just the idea of just like because you I think you
could get away with pretty much anything if you if you had solar flare.
Instant transmission too, But it's almost like so overpowered that it's the obvious answer,
you know what I mean? And I don't want to be like obvious,
Like, yeah, clearly, instant transmission is like the best. Oh,
I don't have to pay for travel, I never have to like spend
time going anywhere. I could just be where I want to go. Obviously
that's the most useful one. But sworarflair is pretty wild. Just being able
to eclipse people crazy, just straight up blind them. Then they're probably probably
worse than an actual flash bang. It'd probably really just they're forever disoriented and
fucked. Oh yeah, if it's enough to disorient like sell, I feel
like probably it's probably worse than a flashbag by like orders of magnitude. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, that's pretty good. I think I would like to
I would like to do that fucking uh, that's probably too evil. Just
that death ray that fucking Freezer has. We're just you know, just pierces
people's hearts and shit, just like quick little point and then it just killed
people. A lively video of that that would be Yeah, it's just kind
of chilly. I feel like it's I would what, I don't know,
I guess if I want to keep it more silly. I've been thinking about
the spirit bomb because I think the spirit bomb could work in the way that
if you're gathering the energy, especially if it's like if it's high noon and
you're gathering the spearit bomb, people may not notice it. They may just
think like, oh, suns, you know, something's fucking out. It's
so they're not looking up, they're just there and then you can just throw
it when it's ready and catch people off guard. Probably I probably, like
I probably, Yeah, the spirit bomb is a wild I like the idea
that you can build it over time too. That was even in the games
too, like you could, like, if you got enough key, you
could like charge it, but then it would like sit in the sky and
then you could you would only like throw it when you're ready. That was
that was fucking cool. I The other ability that I would like is the
ability to just I like what Chaotsu and the cybermen do in the sense that
like if I'm really if I'm really just done with it and I'm really having
a bad day, I can just choose to explode. That would be a
pretty amazing ability. Really like that. To be able to suicide in that
way is crazy, like just to not even yeah, I like it.
I like that a lot. I've thought about that's actually the way that I
want to die, Like if I meaning like say, if I live to
be an old person and like I feel like my time's up, like I
would like to explode and in the most fantastical way too, like you're hopefully
I'm in a position where I can give a speech somewhere for some reason,
we're invited to like some alumni or some valedictorian thing, I get to take
their spot or some shit at USC and I just I say, I just
do, like, you know, just clear my throat and then I explode,
and then that would be. That would be amazing. I would love
to do with something like that where people are like, I need a huge
audience, I need a lot of people to see it. And I love
that. So yeah, it'd be great. You could stream it. Let's
go with that. Yeah, yeah, you get whatever it's gonna be.
Whatever streaming is gonna be. At some point, I wanted to be like,
it's streight, what's gonna be? People? Are people actually gonna implant
fucking phones in their body or something like some type of bullshit that were and
you're gonna project things? Yeah, that's uh, that's interesting. That's interesting.
I know some neurlink guy is playing Sieve five or Sieve six or something,
some guy that like can't use his limbs or whatever, and he's controlling
it with his brain or something. What a fucking nerd? What a nerd?
What a weeb fucking crippled little nerd Oh big deal. Oh, I
can fucking control things with my mind. Cool, somebody beat him up,
especially with that guy up. So you'd be the guy up and take his
brain, take his brain and sell it on. Beat his brain on the
black market, beat his yeah, yeah, yeah, or the white market.
Whatever you want. You can put it in like a like a what
is the world market? In the world market, what is the is the
white market just like what we use is that just the market? The white
market? Yeah, the white market is like target. Yeah, like that's
the white market to me. You take the brain, you put it on
the shelf and label it. You put a fucking label yourself for five bucks.
I used to do that when I worked at Sears. I would I
would put like labels on like like whenever there was like something empty, whenever
there was like an empty stock, like something was out and they weren't going
to be stocked in for a while, I would put like some ridiculous label
with some ridiculous price and with some ridiculous item like I think I remember at
the time, I was playing a lot of Skyrim, and so like I
labeled like sweet roll and like the price, the price would say, like,
I don't know, like two hundred gold, because you could write that,
like you could write like whatever you wanted on the labeling, and I
would. I would. I would fuck around constantly. I had to find
like some way to amuse myself. And I like to imagine that Skyrim was
so big at the time that at least like some customers like maybe saw that
and smiled. But also but it was Sears, so like there's kind of
there's no way, there's no way, like a there's no way. College
students were shopping at Sears and the hardware is actually there's no shot. So
it was just a bunch of old people being like sweet roll acts of acts
of what is acts of vamporism for fucking seven hundred gold? What the fuck
is this? Why is this at a stuck? Yeah, I don't know,
but uh, anyway, Yeah, I think I think I'd go with
the solar flare. But the obvious answer is instant transmission. So hot,
mister hot salsa, you had you had the correct instinct. I would be
a menace with that thing. You could not contain me. I would.
I would be a perfect person because I would have I would have all I
would have all the money I want because I would steal all the money.
I would oh, yeah, I can actually go to the gym easily because
well, I guess I would just have a gym in my house because I
stole all the money. Really, that would solve everything. I'd be It
would be perfect. Yeah, I'd have everything I want. I would go
in a bank, I would teleport the money. I wouldn't even do that.
What I would do is I would teleport to every home in America and
steal exactly one dollar enough that they would never notice. You know, it's
like, oh, a dollar's missing. But there's like how many people,
like three hundred million people, and at least you have to figure at least
like half of them have a dollar, so it's like one hundred fifty million
dollars. Uh. I mean, that's one way to do it. So
I'm like that you could just, yeah, appear in people's houses and unfortunately,
you're probably gonna enter and transmit into like their daughter's bedroom, and then
you're gonna you know, they're gonna think you're a pedophile and all that stuff.
Well, that's why I wear a mask. That's why I wear a
mask. I'm not there for a nefarious reasons. I'm not there friending the
I'm simply going to take a dollar. You're not even gonna notice. You're
not gonna notice, and you'll notice me appearing in my in my scary get
up, but I will quickly, I'll say, where's your give me a
dollar, and I'll leave. That's what I'll That's what i'll do. I'll
dress up like a demon, and I'll be like, give me a dollar,
and I'll leave, and everyone will pay that money because I'm teleporting and
there's no shot. Like if someone if someone teleported into my apartment right now,
like behind me, right now, like dressed up like a demon,
and like clearly obviously teleport, I could not deny that and ask for a
dollar. I think I might give it to him. If he's like,
give me a dollar and I'll leave, I'll be like, yeah, I
think, so, okay, that's worth it. I don't sure. I
have questions. Yeah, yeah, but you can't come back though, that's
it. That's the one condition, Like all right, yeah, yeah,
sure, but you can't come back. Yeah, you can't come back.
And also like I I yeah, yeah, I guess that would be the
problem. Is that you would run into people who are too intellectually curious,
so you'd be you'd have somebody's like, yeah, i'll give you the dollar
if you can explain what this, what what is going on? And then
you'd be like, it's not worth my time, not worth my time,
and then teleport, teleport over to the next one. I think you should
not be go ahead, let's let's not explode it. You should not be
wet. What are you saying? I was just gonna say the demon thing.
I maybe if you if you came in as like a mascot, I
think you would be able to one percent clear that money from everybody because uh,
like you just appear as uh crash bandicoot or something like. You know,
you're just a goofy as fuck you just you just show and you're like,
hey, let me kee a dollar. I think more people will be
like, I don't know what's happening here than being you know, frightened and
shitty themselves. The idea of you have a guy like am I taking the
form of like a realistic interpretation of like who would look like or is it
the mascot guy who's in like the commercials, like the guy and the commercials.
Yeah, but that the guy. Yeah, and he's I'm doing my
twirls and I'm saying I'll leave if you give me a dollar. He's fuck
up there fucking living room real quick and then leave. Yeah, eat all
their fruit and then leave. Yeah. Are they there? Wump of fruits?
They're made up for the for the game. They're wump of fruits.
But there. I think they're like a cross between an apple and a peach.
I'm pretty sure it's like that's that's kind of the vibe that I was
got from them, which in theory sounds kind of gross. But whatever.
Dort Snort wrote in, he says. And by the way, dort Snout
and Gay wrote in with the exact same question. I don't know if you're
the same person paying for two accounts that would be really confusing, or if
the second guy is intentionally trying to troll you in the sense that like he
hopes that we read your question about his submission. Like, I don't know
exactly what's going on, but I'll read them anyway, so both of you
get your question answered. It's two birds with one stone, I guess.
Dor dort Snort wrote in with Gay's copy. What's up, Brothers and Chris,
I guess white parentheses, white devil. How do you feel about the
state of media criticism, especially in the realm of gaming. Some of my
favorite games have been killed due to the internet dogpile, yet complain that nothing
is innovative cursed clash. I don't know what curse clash means, but media,
I don't know. Man, Twitter's fucked. First of all, Like
there's no meaningful discourse happening on Twitter. I don't think there ever really was,
to be fair, but like it's especially obvious now that like I know
that. I don't know if you've kept up with this at all, but
like the Stellar Blade. Did you see that there's like a petition about Stellar
Blade where people are signing it to like uncensor it, and there's video submissions
as a part of this brother petition, and it's people it's I cannot I
for a good five minutes, I thought I have to be this must be
trolling. There's I know, I saw a couple of troll actual videotrol videos,
but the real ones, the greasy fucks, the ones that do There's
some dudes there that were so slow that I was like, I can't accept
this as reality, like they're liked being being back the uh uh the Stellar
Blade censorship wrong. I'm like, I was like did I was like,
I was like, dude, I can't. My brain was it was malfunctioning.
Yeah, how dude, dude, like, come on, did you
did you? Did you see how we got like some of the some of
the video petitions or some of the video submissions on that petition site because apparently
changed you like sign with video. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't.
I can't fucking believe this. I looked through the videos and I'm like,
I cannot believe it was. This is how fucking like mel I wasn't
even going to bring it up because of how like I was like, I
can't believe that this is where we're at right now, Like what was it?
What was it? The the this mainly the the cameltoe was one of
the big ones. That was the big gripe that I saw, Like the
Spell of Blade had like a suit and then they removed a cameltoe in one
of the parts. Because there was multiple things, I saw the compilation of
things that were censor. One of the things was a cameltoe, right and
I'm like, are you really like this really does play into what this question
says, like the like, oh, the media criticisms discourse. To me,
it's fucking it. I can't I can't believe it, dude, Like,
do you remember she fot or five They censored Rainbow Mika's ass because like
she slaps it, she slaps her ass. Yeah, she does. I
think one of her ultra fucking super arts or whatever the fuck that's called,
she slaps her ass. They just pan the camera up so you can't see
her slapping her ass. And people were slightly annoyed, you know, even
me. I was like, Oh, it's stupid. I was like,
she fucking has her ass out. Who gives? Like, look in PG
Wrestling, they have the right exactly. PG w make no mistake, dude.
Do I think it's cool that like they're just like arbitrarily like making things
like slightly less sexy than they are, like for for obvious censoring reasons.
No, I think it's really lame. I don't really understand. I think
it's like treating the audience with kid gloves for sure. Like I think it's
lame and I don't think it's I don't think it makes any sense. I
think it's treating the audience as if they're like too immature to handle this stuff.
I don't think it's it's really it's it's dumb. But like the way
that some of these people talk about it, this is like I said this
in a video a long time ago, where when we would talk about like
social justice warriors to me, to me, it was never necessarily the social
justice part of it that necessarily bothered me, because like I have all sorts
of politics that align with that. It's it's more like this LARPing as if
you're like a soldier on a battlefield somewhere and you're fighting, like a good
fight, and like you're really putting yourself out there, like oh, you're
like this this role that you're playing, that you're more important than you actually
are, that you're like on a battlefield somewhere and you're you're you're fighting.
No, it's the warrior part of social justice warrior that always bothered me,
Like this LARPing of like making everything so much more serious than it actually is,
so much more life or death than it actually is, implying that like
you're in danger for speaking out about it. I saw some guys it's like
they I saw some guy literally saying like they want me dead for for for
sharing my opinion on this, and I'm like, dude, no one,
I promise you, no one cares to that degree it. I think generally,
like artists should be able to make whatever art they want, and if
they want to make like a really explicit, like hyper sexual game, I
think they should be able to do it. And I think censorship in that
regard is is lame, but it is also so ubiquitous to the point where
it's like they're these decisions are being made behind the scenes for everything that we
consume, and they have been. They've been that's been the case for a
really really long time. Like Stellar Blade isn't unique to this, It's not
even necessarily I don't even I don't even think it's like uniquely political, because
both sides have done this for a very very long time. If you go
back long enough, you know, not even really that far back, you
see like all sorts of re Like I think originally in two thousand and eight,
the Six Days in Fallujah video game that they were making was like really
controversial because it was it was a military game about like a recent military conflict,
and usually that doesn't happen. Usually it's like, oh, we're gonna
make a World War two game like forty years after the fact, or like
we're gonna make a video about a video game about World War one something in
the distant past. And right wingers were freaking the fuck out about it because
it was like, that's really disrespectful to the people who are still alive and
and and it's just like, well, what the fuck, what do you
That's that's dumb, And they ended up not making all the game they don't
care about yeah, of course not, but like they didn't. They ended
up not making the game because of that. And and then obviously that happened
again later on because now that it's been a long enough time now, it's
like it became like a oh, you're a grand doze. And then it
became like a left wing criticism because it's like, oh, you're aggrandizing the
military and you're making a game out of out of a you know, uh,
an imperialist occupation, and it's like all right, well listen, like
let's just fucking relax, Like, let's all of us relax. It is
lame that stellar Blade got a little bit less sexy, but it is still
so hyper. I'm playing it right now. It is still so fucking it's
extremely It's it's extremely still like there's a nude suit in that game. That's
like, fucking you. Yeah, it is wild, like what you're saying,
And so I don't know. I I yeah, I've talked, I've
talked at length. It's no, I I like acknowledging just how first of
all, Yeah, when you start off with the social justice thing, I
think that's and then it's all the important to point out. I remember somebody
pointed that out to me one time. Wait, back in the day,
because I got lazy. Instead of saying social justice warrior, I said social
justice and somebody said, well, there's nothing wrong with that, and I'm
like, yeah, no, you're right. I should be careful with my
words because of that. People, Yeah, that will twist things because I'm
like, obviously social justice is fucking important, you know, like like historical
things and movements have happened. It's like, yeah, the Civil War,
Yeah, the Civiloan, the civil rights movement is technically with justice if you
if you really like but yeah, yeah, it really is. These people
who like get on the internet, and it was even the same back then,
where like it was like you know, oh, you know, everybody's
like sexist and racist, and they're like they're they're trying to fight, they're
trying to fight against women and all like people who are criticizing you need a
sarkisan. It was you were labeled as like, you know, you just
hated women in the workplace and I'm or you hated women or something. It's
like, well, fucking let's relax. Let's have a real conversation about how
lame this video critique series is because it really has to do with the fact
that she's I'm sure like and granted it was all tainted because a lot of
people were just in that for that reason, but pieces, yeah, for
sure, But like, I don't know, man, I think to get
to get upset about this to the degree that you were getting upset about it
to the point where like you're making videos about how like you're fighting the good
fight and you're like on the front lines and using this terminology where like you're
LARPing as a tough person and you're not, and it's okay that you're not.
You don't have to pretend to be like not, you don't have to
be like, oh, I need to be Marcus Aurelius. In order for
my opinion to have weight on anything, I have to be on like I
have to be like a like a central figure in some kind of fight.
And it's like, that's not what this is. And if you're fighting censorship,
it goes way deeper than Cellar Blade. Man, Like there's like or
even just like the concept of like network notes or just like I talked about
it on another episode where it's like a Laye on Seinfeld was a network note,
Like that's the whole reason she's on the show is the network was like,
you need a female character in this, and that was like a good
thing for the show. Like it's not necessarily that all of these are bad.
I agree that it's dumb that it's happening to Stellar Blade, but it's
like, yo, you can't possibly feel noticing these people have They have no
consistency. And that's the biggest problem that I've had with especially when there was
the whole anti SGW movement. When I realized pretty quickly, pretty much at
the height of it twenty sixteen into twenty seventeen, they started to realizing within
the tail end of twenty seventeen, I was like, oh, I understand
what's happening now. There's a lot of people that are here that are here
to griff, and they're here to be upset. And in the same way
that, like, say, the difference between the sgw's, they weren't there
to griff. They were there to complain about things that they thought was important
to them. And then it was like, I disagree with you trying to
censor this thing. And then in the same vein like you had a lot
of those same people that are mad about Stellar Blade, for example, and
mad at the censorship of Stellar Blade, they absolutely wanted Starfield to into the
pronoun thing like it has nothing to do a censorship for me. With them,
it has to do with I want things my way, and that's how
it's always. I started to realize that, oh, a lot of these
people aren't here to protect art. A lot of these people are here to
complain about I want things the way that they used to be. I want
always this. I want you to not and so oh, you're you're including
things, you're adding inclusion in the game. This is bad. And I'm
like, so now you want this censored. They ate they made a conscious
decision this studio to add this into the game, and you're fucking upset about
it, And I'm like, fuck you, you want censorship, You're a
fuck You've been exposed. And these people you can only get. You can
only talk to them about this one on one collectively. They they'll just be
like, oh no, no, no, you don't understand, or they'll
listen to one of their dumb ass, fucking you know whatever YouTubers that are
making all these videos crying about it, like that fucking fat idiot that was
screaming about star Field like that. Don't listen to these people and think they're
justified. And I'm like, no, you're asking for fucking censorship, asshole.
So be consistent if you actually care about this shit. And so the
Stellar Blade thing, it's not a big deal. It's like, we can
all agree that it's stupid, just like I was bringing up Rainbow Meca for
example. Rainbow Meka and the censorship was stupid, but it's not a big
deal. It's just annoying. It's like, oh, it's dumb, and
then you move on. What was more stupid was how fucking Street fight or
five launched. That was it was abysmal, right, like that was actually
a problem. Yeah, but like say the censorship part of it, it
was just fucking annoying. Yeah, I just don't like people. Yeah,
you need your reactions appropriately, you know, like you're not on a battlefield
somewhere, you're not in danger. You're not like trudging through blood and bones
and the trenches, you know, like and that's how they that's how they
talk like their revolutionaries. And it's like, listen, you can raise convictions
about this, and I even think that there's a way to talk about this,
a way that's like completely reasonable, where it's like, this is really
dumb that you're sensoring this game that's already so sexual, Like why even bother
going through the effort to even like why like why are you doing that?
But it's all like this it's ratched up to like eleven where where it really
doesn't need to be and it actually hinders your argument because it makes you all
seem fucking crazy. Uh so it does. It was it was in the
same it was in the same vein as like that was the whole reason why
we made fun of sj W's when oh, here's the Nicie Sarkisian, this
fucking grifter or dumb bitch, right, Like she's not She's not a dumb
bitch because she was making like she was a dumb bitch because she was a
fraud. Like that's the whole thing was. Yes, I've seen people say
ooh in Hinds, I didn't need a Starkisian was right. I'm like,
n don't listen to fucking Charlotte Tins. Fuck this broad. Like there are
other people in the Progressive spear that have made some criticism about anti sj W,
some of the freaks, and yeah, I'm like they're right about certain
issues and certain aspects of it, where like you can see what's happening with
Cellar Blade. They're like those were some of the same people. They're like
freaking out about this dumb shit. And it's like here's you and I,
here's Sweeney, and here's plenty of other normal people that enjoy art, and
we just think, oh, that's stupid, but that's where our criticism ends.
We're like, that's fucking stupid that I don't even see because who does
it benefit really, At the end of the day, the mildly censoring the
Stellar Blade. Who does that benefit at the end of the day. So
it's like, yeah, that's stupid. We can talk about this and have
a normal discussion and not pretend, like you say, we're in the fucking
trenches. This is some gaass culture war, like you get out of here
articular, it's all. It's all optics and it's and I do think like
the everything trying to be catchy and trying to catch your eye and like the
outrage bait has ruined a lot of media criticism in general, where like you
just say, I remember, actually that was a big thing with the Fallout
show, where people like the just misinformation spread about like what they were doing,
like oh, they're reckconning New Vegas, and it's like they didn't do
that at all, but like enough people leaved it for a long time that
they wrote off the show or they had like opinions about it that like did
not match what the actual thing about, and then people people were talking really
confidently about it. And I see this a lot. I see this a
lot, and it's really annoying. I don't know what happened to make this
okay, But people will talk about a movie or a game and talk really
authoritatively about it, and then when asked about like what they thought of it,
like on a deeper level, they go like, oh, well,
I haven't played it yet, I don't know what the fuck happened. Like
that was the whole thing with Suicide Squad. Do you remember that whole thing
with Suicide Sqoe where I was like, I think I'm gonna play this kind
of want to know firsthand, like what this is and maybe Nona say Suicide
Squad was a mess and it was bad from for many many reasons, but
like and people were like actively like they had a problem with me actually looking
into it, like it was viewed as like a negative thing for me to
go in and actually research it on my own, Like it's like why why
did you do that? Like that it was a problem, And I'm like,
what the fuck are we talking about? This is like bare minimum,
Like you have to know what you're fucking talking about if you're going to criticize
how they are you serious? That's right? So that is so crazy.
I don't know when that became okay, But like that was like that hit
me like a truck where I was like, you gotta be joking that this
is like a controversial thing that I'm doing that I'm choosing. Oh do you
what is that? I want to show you something? Yeah, so this
so so you might have seen this, Chris right, there's a I've never
heard of this creator named Josiah Rises And yeah, so Josiah put this tweet
out about Fallout. This Fallout series says, finish Fallout this morning. I
was completely engrossed with the story and surprisingly invests in all three main characters throughout.
Lots of fun, twist and turns, good character development. I truly
felt like I was in the Fallout world once again nine out of ten.
And somebody replied with delete this then, and it's a fucking screenshot of him
putting out a video three weeks ago to prior to that tweet saying Fallout is
a disaster already woke Hollywood ruins another franchise, and I'm like, the fuck
is wrong with you? And the fact that you didn't even delete it.
He didn't even fucking delete the fucking thing. It's like the goal of these
fucking people to just keep his bullshit and feel no responsibility to take it down
is fucked, man. Yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, that's one
of the ones where it's like, I do feel like it's all it's a
good example of how like how unserious a lot of this is. But you
know, at the very least, like there, I understand the impulse to
when you say that before like, let's let's assume you've made a value judgment
on something before you've you've taken part in it, right, which I'm sure
everybody's done on some level. Right, let's assume that's the case, and
then you see it and then it's good. There is technically a content incentive
to just kind of double down and stick to what you already said, just
because it's like you don't want to look like a hypocrite. So what minimal
credit there is to give you? That guy at least he was like he
actually turned around me like actually I was, ah, maybe I was wrong
or whatever, Like it's actually really good. It is still crazy to me
he didn't say that you then you didn't say that, Well, you're giving
him manufactured credit. Brother, I'm maybe he actually did that. I would
give him credit. I wouldn't give The problem is he acted like that shit
did not exist, because that's what they do with content all the fucking time.
As soon as something's exposed that they're completely demonstrably wrong, they ignore whatever
the fuck they said and jump on the new wave. And I'm like,
no, no, no, no, I'm not giving this guy an ounce
of fucking credit because he would say in that fucking response right there, damn,
I was fucking wrong. This show is amazing. It's actually I would
like all he would have to say is those words like I was comprised dead
wrong about this shit, and I'd be like, all right, kudos,
man, but also, yeah, delete your fucking video. But like,
and there are people that do that. I have done that, I have
done, I have made prejudgments. Of course, I have also done it
in the opposite way where I thought something was gonna be awesome and it turned
out to be dog shit, you know what I mean, Like it's it's
right right, then you just say its album's wrong. There is nothing wrong
with being wrong. We're fucking humans, and these people won't do the most
human, basic fucking thing and just be like, oh, yeah, I
was wrong, because for some reason, there's been a culture of like making
fun of people for getting things wrong when it's like, what are you talking
about? You can't get things right all the time. It's impossible. Yeah,
that's that is also and to be fair, like I think that is
the fault of I think that is the fault of I don't like using these
terminologies because I find it like so pointless, but I do think on some
level that is a culture that has been fostered by and I say this loosely
the left, the American like just understanding of what that even means, which
is like already kind of like fucking nebulous and dumb and vague, but like,
yeah, the idea that like you can't you cannot be forgiven for anything,
or like you must, Like the idea of cancel culture when it first
started was like I think about like James Gunn when he got fired for those
joke tweets, you know what I mean, When he got fired for those
joke tweets from Marvel and then they immediately rehired and because they realized how stupid
it was. That's an example of cancel culture. I think that's different than
like, oh, somebody got outed for genuine sexual misconduct and then they're facing
like public backlash for it. That's just like consequences for like your actions.
That's not that's not what cancel culture is. But I do think that that
idea of like, oh well, you know, you can't be like there's
no path to redemption, and if there is no path to redemption, people
are just gonna go where the love is and that's what the grift is.
That's just like, oh well, I've already fucked up. That's Gina Carano,
you know what I mean. Where it's like, oh well, I
already fucked up. I have no incentive to change because the people over there
will never accept me. As if I change, I'm going to go to
people who already who are encouraging my current behavior and love and will clearly support
me no matter what. And that's its own kind of problem. In Uh,
you're definitely right about that. That is that is very important. I'm
glad you even brought that up, because I there was a reason an anti
SGW community, whatever you want to call it, sprung up, Like some
people on the left refuse to acknowledge their part in it. When there's an
anti of anything crazy, you have to remember it it came up because something
exists prior even like say, when you talk about something you know, I'm
not gonna get into it. But when you talk about terrorism or terrorist,
they're not just movie villains that sprung up out of nowhere. Something happened to
create this. And what I'm saying is this whole movement and I'm not comparing
to tear. Like there's gonna be some dumb idiots that are gonna say,
are you comparing anti terrorists? Now? I'm just giving no example. It
has to be one to one. I know we talked about this before,
but I know there's people that are neurodivisions that are gonna fucking type it and
I'm like, I have to nip it in the butter right now. But
it's just it's there. It was a reaction to how intolerant some of these
fucking people were being. And it was like, Yo, this is crazy
because me growing up in California with my progressive friends, some of my punk
friends and stuff, they were not like this. And it was like,
what is this new wave of you cannot be redeemed? The whole idea was
you wanted people to better themselves and you would accept them. You wanted a
racist to renounce their racism and join normies and be a part of society.
And not hate people. Instead of being like, no, you were once
a Nazi. Fuck you forever. It's like, what are you talking about?
He did he wanted them to do right, Yeah, exactly, And
I'll joke about that too. It's like sometimes I will make fun of people
who have like who are like, oh, yeah, I used to be
a Nazi and now I'm not. Like there is Look, it's funny on
some level to me, but there is like yeah, dude, like I
it's a it's a inherently left yeah, of course, but like there's inherently
it's such an inherently left left leaning principle to believe in the concept of that's
the entire point of like the the left wing perspective on the prison system is
that like, oh, it's a rehabilitation. It's it's a system for rehabilitation,
not just for like abject punishment, but like the way that we the
way that it's almost like a complete flip of ideologies where it's like the Republicans
apparently, you know, there's like oh man, well, what the hell,
like come on, like let like I mean, it's all pretend,
let's be real, but like it's like, oh yeah, let's look let
people what people can't change, People can't make mistakes anymore. But then they'll
be like, oh, you you're in prison, you're you're a slave and
you deserve it. Uh. And the left people are like, oh no,
everybody should you know, have the ability to change and be better in
prison. But in culture it's like, oh, you said a racist thing
in high school like twenty years ago on Twitter or whatever, and it's like
no, sorry, and it's just like it's it's so backwards and insane.
Yeah, I don't know. I will say politics are inherent, say we'll
move on tradictory. Of course there are. Yeah, I gotta say there's
been will move on at the very least right now, there is as far
as like the left goes and left movements for politics that less insane people are
sticking around and that are more prominent, and they're they're really been preaching what
exactly what you've been talking about You and I have been saying. They've been
like, hey, that crazy not accepting and this so and so and oh
old tweets this and that shit. That's not helping knock that shit off.
That has been a thing that a lot of people like, let's talk about
some important let's talk about real progressivism, and you know, let's not pretend
like fucking the writer. You know, they're fucking anti censorship and they're all
welcoming arms and everything, like, let's let's just put things in a perspective
and not cater to the insane fucking people. And I've been appreciating that because
they're like I've had many cops. Somebody actually jumped into my DMS recently apologizing
for saying, like I thought you were a chud. I just want to
apologize, and I said, you have nothing you apologize about. There were
people that I was associating with that were chuds, and so I was adjacent
to it. And so you not watching and consuming that content, you made
a judgment and you just assumed things and I can't. I wish you wouldn't,
but I also humans are gonna human, So I totally understand why you
thought this. But then when you actually start hearing me speak and you start
hearing my thoughts on my takes, and you're like, oh, that's all
you can really ask of anybody, and I'm seeing more of that acceptance of
and realizing that, oh, it wasn't just this binary shit like you made
fun of people like crazy progressives. That must mean you're conservative. People are
kind of being a little bit more charitable and more understanding that it's more complex
than just right up hard left versus right, and uh, I think technically
things are overall in a better place. I think there's more grifters, but
I think that there's I think that it's it's less this worry gay culture ship
now it's more mainstream politics right now, it's more fucking we're gonna go back
to talking about spooky gay people and trans people on the right or you know,
we're gonna instead of pretending like we're we're I don't know, fucking arbiters
of anti censorship or something. Yeah, I don't know. You gotta and
maybe it's because I, I don't know, maybe you can relate to this,
but I come from like a more of a comedy oriented background anyway.
Like I didn't start you. I didn't do YouTube to be didactic or to
preach. Really, I think I definitely did it early on when I felt
like I had something to share, but like that that went away pretty quick
because I was just like I just kind of want to make people laugh for
entertain people, and so I don't know. I just kind of always felt
like my place is not here on like some fucking cultural battleground. I remember
we talked about this before, but like people were like, oh, you're
like a voice for us, and it's like, don't make me a voice.
I don't. I do not want to be a voice. I speak
for myself, right, and I'm totally fine to do that, but I'm
not going to speak for anybody. Like what the fuck? It's insane.
Yeah, I think I drink I drank bleach entertaining you. I drank bleach
in Central Park, Like, don't what are you doing? Please higher your
standards, dude, really like really really do and and and it's like,
hey, maybe nobody should be that for you, Like maybe it should be
a collective of like thoughts and stuff. I'm like, there shouldn't be this
like oh, this guy's the person that's speaking for me or that's leading the
charge of Like I don't think people like that should exist. I don't think
the idea of like you know that, I think those as champion, I
think those people we should kill them. We should killo people. I don't
think they should exist. Probably actually I think anyone who like who accepts that
role, I'm like, they probably shouldn't be a lie. They shouldn't be
here, dude, They're not They're they're not doing it for good. Nobody
wants to be anyone who deserves to be a champion, you know what I
mean, doesn't want to be a champion. Like it's it's clean cut,
simple, Yeah, Like nobody wants to be like any Yeah, it's just
like straight up. Yeah, we've been going on for a while. Yeah,
well we should get some more. I'll be honest. This is I
guess like this is more of a yeah, this is more of like a
chill episode. Uh yeah, well whatever, it got a little it got
weird. Before there was just this little segment of like seriousness, but there
was a lot of uh, pissed stuff, and there's it's it's a normal
snark tank episode. I'd say it's it's more restrained, but it's good.
Papa, what is this? What the fuck is this? I haven't read
this one yet, but it's it's long and I'm curious about it. I'll
go magic molesting Tom Sweeney at the ripe age of thirty at his own birthday
party that's fucking crazy, he wrote in says Evening Dei Cast. Recently,
a lost song was found as a seventeen second clip called everyone Knows that was
posted vaguely and not much information was given before the original poster disappeared. After
three years of searching for what this song was, it was discovered that the
song came from a nineteen eighties pornal called Angels of Passion. He led the
internet on a wild goose chase because he was too ashamed to admit he was
jerking it. That's awesome. Now, my question is how far would you
let a guy? How far would you let a lie go go on to
hide something you did or something you know? I feel like that would depend
on the severity of what I would what I would have done right, Like,
wouldn't it like I wouldn't go that far to hide the fact that I,
like stole a fucking candy bar from a Walmart once, you know,
Like I could give a fuck less about that. But if I was like
a demon, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know how
far I would go. I wouldn't go very far at all, I did,
I am. I'm so against it's mainly out of laziness. I I
don't lie because I don't care enough to keep up the lie. It's work.
Yeah, I have to often care. Yeah, I often have to
like immediately correct myself sometimes because like in conversation, if I'm in a flow
state of a conversation, especially with people I don't know that well or like
people like that I only kind of know, they will ask me things and
I will my brain will default to whatever I think is the most entertaining thing
to say, whether it's true or not, and then I have to,
like I have to backpedal sometimes where it's like nah, but nah, yeah,
but I actually I'm doing this or whatever. It's like a problem.
So like I like I go back often to correct those things. But there's
sometimes where I just I completely forget, Like I completely forget, like,
oh, yeah, I told I told that guy that I was at like
a fucking that I went. I went to a clown college. And I
don't know why I said that. I don't know why I said that to
that guy, And that guy's walking around thinking I go to a clown card
and I'm I'm sorry to strangers who know me because they were walking around with
like complete fucking I feel like I'm to people who don't know me very well.
I feel like I'm like a joker like figure where like they don't.
He tells a different story, he tells a different origin story to like everybody
about like where everybody that I know in real life know exactly, like where
I'm from and what I've done, and like where my you know, and
where I went to school and where I grew up and like when I moved
and all this stuff. But like there are people that I've met, like
maybe twice, who think I've I I went to Clown College. There I
told a guy that I was forty six, and then I've just been getting
stem cell treatment for a while. I don't know. I don't know why.
I don't know because part of part of the two is just the entertainment
factor of just seeing how much people will believe, no matter how absurd it
because I told you, I remember, I just pretended to be really ignorant
at a party once. It was actually at Some people might some people listening
might know the show Hell of a Boss and has been Hotel. It's on
Amazon. I think it's on Amazon. I think I'm pretty sure Viseypop is
the showrunner. She I hesitated to call her a friend of mine because I
haven't seen her in a long time and we only kind of like passingly know
each other, but like we're friendly. And I was at a party at
her house like a couple of years ago now, and I remember talking to
some people and I tried to convince them that I thought Mount Rushmore just kind
of formed like that, Like I tried, I tried. I I made
the conversation in such a way that I was like, yeah, I just
think it's kind of amazing, like like the coincidence of that, Like how
like this mountain just like how could this mountain shape in such a way that
it it resembles for not just four separate real people, but four separate real
people that are important to the country that it's in. Like That's that's a
staggering miracle of nature. And I'm like, I'm constantly blown away by it
every time I think about it. And there are some people who clearly knew
that I was joking, but I could tell there were two people who weren't
super sure and that maybe so happy but they because like I got so much
energy out of that and I don't know why. I don't know, I
don't know what it is about that that it's so it's really I I really
that's concerned learning that anybody would ever the fact that you could, you could
treat this is what I'm talking about, man, Like it's that should be
impossible to trick anybody unless ah, you know, you're talking to a fucking
ten year old or something. They just don't know which ways up. They're
like, oh yeah, and maybe they even questioned it themselves, like oh,
maybe it was for him that way, but like growing ass adults should
immediately be like, oh, this guy's fucking with me, Like clearly he's
with me, Like yeah, like oh, like this guy fuck with me.
It's cool. Some people are like, oh yeah, good for you,
bro, and they walked around thinking you're a dumb moron. I loved
but I loved that because because every time I would be every time I would
be around them, I would make a point to like I remember I was
in the kitchen trying to get water and like that, one of those guys
walked into the room who I think believed me, and I was like looking
at the water machine like I had no idea how to use it. I
was like, I don't understand. Is there like a button that I have
to Like I'm holding it under it, but it's not. Usually it's like
automatic. I've seen them be automatic. But like looking at this thing and
I can't figure it out, and I like, I just I pretended to
fumble with it for like a minute straight and then I was like, oh,
I got it, Okay, Cool, I don't I don't know.
I really I am not a I'm not a party person really, so like
I really need to find ways to entertain myself at parties. And usually it's
exactly it's it's that kind of right now. Yeah, I was like this,
you you do not want to You don't really give a shit about being
here, so now you gotta you getta entertain yourself. Well, yeah,
I don't care what strangers thinking, Like if some guys are walking around there
thinking that I'm a fucking complete idiot, like that's that's funnier to me than
it is insulting. It doesn't matter. I totally feel you. If you're
a stranger, your opinion on me doesn't fucking matter. And so yeah,
I think I think about stuff like that all the time. Like especially,
uh, dressing a specific way, like maybe like I've worn some I've warned
some stuff that I probably should throw away because there's just like a giant hole
in the shirt and it's completely it's fun. It's like, I don't care
who am I trying to. I don't give a fuck about these people,
like you know, in the way that I need to impress you. It's
just like fucking whatever, dude, And uh, yeah, that's funny though,
that's that's cool. Though, that's cool. Yeah, I don't really
do that ship, but I have bullshitted just some strangers, for sure.
We're talking about war. Yeah, oh yeah, obviously you're just you're you're
You're in a different town the very next fucking day, Like what do you
care? Yeah? Okay, what is this? Ben Backledge wrote in he
says, I would like your opinion on this. Me and my friend had
this debate since high school. Is there a difference between alligators and crocodiles?
I say there isn't, but my friend says there is, Yes, there
is. Of course, they're different. They're different. There, they're different
animals. What do you yeah, the pigeon, Yes, of course,
they're both a type of animal. But right, I understand the spirit.
I understand the spirit of what you're asking, which is like, ostensibly,
is there a difference to which my answer would be no, not really.
If I'm in a room with a crocodile or an alligator, I'm probably going
to treat that situation identically. I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna get out
of here. I'm not gonna be I don't want to be around this thing,
right, this is an unpredictable, fucking animal that I just no longer.
I don't I don't wish to be around. But on like a fundamental
level, yeah, they're fucking they're they're even just like from a looks perspective,
I get them mixed up. I don't know which one is which,
but I could tell that they're different. If you if you put an alligator
or a crocodile next to each other, I can tell you that they're different
animals, like for sure, And I could tell you that like one is
one thing and one is the other. I forget which one is which.
I think the alligators are like the wider snouts and the crocodiles are thinner,
right, yes, I think yes, like the gate like just think of
American gators many like, yeah, Florida, just think of Florida and just
gaiters and they they they're not if you if you know what they look like
there, then it's like all right, that's that's that. And then anything
that looks slightly different, you're most likely dealing with the crocodile. Like you're
most likely like, oh, that looks a little weird. That looks a
little different. But I and i's had a dream about an alligator. Recently,
I had a dream that I was I have I don't know about you,
but I have like really mundane dreams for the most part, Like my
like my dreams, even like when they're like even when they're like nightmares,
it's usually like a realistic nightmare scenario like someone passes away or like I received
like really horrifying information or something. But I'm still like in my apartment.
Generally, I'm not in like some weird like Willy Wonka fucking fever dream where
I'm like, you know, I'm moving through non like it's very rare that
that happens. It does, but like very rarely. And I had a
dream where like I was making coffee and I walked into my office and there
was an alligator barrowing towards me, like my real office, and it's It
was such a frightening core experience because it was so believable in the moment because
nothing was weird. It wasn't like, oh, my house at my apartments
like bigger than it normally is, you know what I mean, those like
weird telltale signs that you're dreaming, or like, oh I can't read any
of the signs weird. None of that. It was just making coffee.
Walk into my office and an alligator is barrowing towards me. I'm like,
what the fuck? I'm not even like afraid of alligators particularly, and I
guess I would be if if someone dropped one on it, if there was
in front of me. Yeah, I would be scared for sure. Yeah.
If I was like jerking off and then like an alligator barreled through my
window, I would absolutely not come you know, like that would interrupt me,
try to come on it, try to shit one on it, try
to disrupt its charge, something like that. Just yeah, do you think
that that would acturate? Do you think that that would disrupt its charge or
do you think that it would it would detect an additional scent and therefore find
you more appetizing. I don't know, man, I feel like it probably
was not expecting to be came on, and it might it might take a
minute to try to process what just happened, because that's, yeah, it's
a little different. I don't think anybody normally does that to it, and
it's like, hey, what just happened to me? Yeah you think,
yeah, you think it's having the conversation in its head where it's like,
this is a new experience. I've never experienced this before. I've never I've
never been I've never been seen an allator. I have never experienced this,
yeah me an alligator? Yeah, uh, all right, that's a question
for Sweeney. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna answer that. Derek Michael Vick
Blackman rode in what that is a specific reference? By the way, that
is that is there's no chance that people under the age of twenty five know
what that means, Like I don't think that that's like a probably that is
such a that is a palpable moment in time. That reference is from like
a very specific flash. I don't know. But he writes that he says,
Hey Eded, Nettie, Hey ed Ed, and Spetty. I don't
know. I don't know if that's implying. Since Derek thinks he could easily
fight off a wolf and most dog breeds, how many aggressive German shepherds do
you think each of you could fight at once before you lose? Oh,
aggressive German shepherds? I'm I think honestly two is probably like those those things
are like really fucking Once there's two of those things, I might the chances
go down significantly because while you're dealing with one, the other one can just
go for the kill. Like that's why it's so hard to deal with a
pack of wolves, because they'll fucking they'll eventually get you, because there's so
many that are doing the distracting bitings and then trying to drag you down so
then they can tear your fucking throat apart and shit. Ye, and when
you're dealing with one wolf or one dog, which I've dealt, like I've
even dealt with, like say, a very aggressive dog before that busted through
a fence and grabbed my you know, step cousin whatever you want to call
Like, yeah, fucking miraculously did not chomp her but got her what do
you call a spandex? What do you call those things again? Uh?
Call now, don't call them spandex anymore? Uh like jeggings or whatever,
but like whatever, but just got what like it just happened instead of chomping
her. It like she got lucky that it just chomped her clothes and like
that thing was like and like, I just fucking I'm younger and I fucking
tossed this thing and I was a lot like now, I am infinitely stronger
than I was when I was. When I was, however fucking old I
was. I don't remember exactly what year that was, but I was probably
like a teenager or something thirteen, like barely And now I'm I will crush
that it was a It was a I can't remember the breed of it,
but it was a bigger dog. And I would rough house with my friends
and shepherd all the time. Uh. There was a labrador that was huge
my step my stepsister had, and that motherfucker love to rough like would charge
at me full speed and I would fucking try to be like, all right,
let me brace myself, and I could I could toss it and uh,
I will toss a fucking wolf too, Like I maybe not initially if
it catches me off guard, but the idea and I feel like maybe maybe
people are really weak on average or something, and I'm like, maybe go
to the gym. I want to see you put up some numbers and maybe
gauge and see how like how strong or weak you are, and then maybe
you want to just get to like work. Oh, here's a better gauge.
Do tim push ups? All right, if you can't do ten push
ups, get to that level at least where you can do ten fucking push
ups. And if you can't, that means that maybe a wolf would absolutely
maul you and you'd have no fucking hope because I would kill you if you
push you can't do ten push ups? A terriers taking you to the pound
like you're you're you're in the grave at that point, like I actually like
they're look two dogs is like way worse, especially the German shepherds, which
are like those are military dogs. They're trained for that reason. So like
I don't know, I think because like my uncle Santiago, like he had
like a fucking he got into a running with two German shepherds and one of
them, like one of them was fine, but then the other one went
up behind him and ripped his spine out of his asshole, like it burrowed
its its nose up his asshole and grabbed his spine and pulled it out like
a fucking almost like like deboning a chicken. And he had to limp home
like all like limp and gross and like an accordion. And he survived.
It was yeah, he was fine, Yeah, because like it was crazy.
It was crazy because like all the nerve ending wires were like still attached.
It was almost like a it was almost like a puppet with like dragging
its marionette, the wooden marionette thing with the strings behind it. It was
fucking scary. And he showed up to our doorstep. He slip it up
to our doorstep, and we took him to the er and then he went
bankrupt because that's a really expensive. It's really expensive to get it. Turns
out it's really expensive to get your spine reinserted. But it was a one
in a million chance. Man, he got really fucked. Oh so he
was. He was able to get the recover the spine that the dog didn't
like eat it or whatever. Yeah, you know, it just it pulled
it out, and then it pulled it out and stood up, pointed and
laughed and then ran away with the other dog, is how he described it.
But he was also in like a he was in a I don't know
how accurate. I don't know how accurate that story is, because like he
was in clearly a fugue state. But I did see his spine dangling out
of his asshole, and it was really scary. See, I know,
yeah, because your it was your uncle, right, it was your uncle,
right, yeah, my uncle uncle uncle Santiago. Yeah, yes,
so I know I know a little bit that, or at least you're misremembory
because your aunt your your uncle Santiago. Actually he told me the story and
oh yeah, everything was right, like he definitely got the spine pull out
of his assh on everything. But when the dog stood up, he wasn't
laughing. He actually said bark, bark, fatality, and then he got
back on his hind legs and then walked away, right right. I think
the one thing, yeah, well maybe yeah, I think he maybe interpreted
it as like, uh, you're probably right. I think it was probably
more like the action that he that the dog took was interpreted as basically laughing
in his face. But that's that's sounds laughing. That was kind of like
a very insult to injury. Yeah, but you don't you don't. You
don't know what it's like. Man, like two dogs, they'll fuck you
up and it's it's pretty bad. So don't funk with don't fuck with that
last uh, the last one. It's so dumb, what a fucking stupid
It's all real, by the way, Uh, come to uncle butt wrote
in he says, Chris, Hey, this is the last one. Hey,
yeah, hey, Chris sween and and it's just like an empty space,
just there's nothing written there. Uh. Been listening since that? Yeah,
what the fuck? So he's not even here, So joke's on you,
idiot bitch. Been listening since the start and finally bit the Patreon bullet
for the merch You won't be disappointed. Oh maybe. My question is if
something were to happen that would immediately turn you into a raging bigot with no
chance of rehabilitation, what would that thing have to be? I think I'm
only like one bad day away. Really, I think, ultimately, what
at the end of the day. I think like maybe I'm like I'm one
minor inconvenience away from just becoming a truly, truly diabolical individual. I think
if I were, if I were to guess, or if I were to
gauge, it wouldn't take much. If I could cut off in traffic and
I notice, if I notice anything that I can pinpoint, then it's it's
over. But it is going to be distinctly is it is distinctly going to
be only related to to whatever group the next person to inconvenience me is a
part of you know I I it's it really is like the straw that broke
the Campbell's back type deal, where it's like it could be a million different
inconveniences from a million different places. But the next guy if he's if look,
man, if the next guy is Armenian, it's over. It's over
for the Armenians. It's for the Armenians then, and if it's attribute to
the yeah, and if the if the next guy is if the next guy
is Hawaiian, then it's over for it's over for so it's over for those
people. Set another island on fire. Yeah, like I did the first
time. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I feel you on that.
Man. I'm I'm I'm very I'm on the I'm on the cusp of
just being anti Semitic. Bro, I'm almost like that. I'm at the
point. I'm at the point where just my my entire feed is just littered
with you know, news in that region from that and then and then there's
like protests and all this stuff going on right here in America, And I'm
just like, man, if I if I were if I were a lesser
being, like, if I if I were the person that that, uh
that this question suggests, I would just yeah, man, it would be
it'd be over right. But you know what, fuck it, I'm gonna
I'm gonna start me and me and fucking neo Nazis are holding hands now,
I'm gonna go hang out with Kanye. I'm gonna hang out with Kanye and
be like, hey, you know what, dude, you know what.
It's it's funny. It's funny enough that he kind of disappeared where he would
probably gather a ton of sympathy. Now, oh now it's it's yeah,
it's obvious that the Israeli people have nothing to do with what's happening, right,
it is. It is the it's all the government, but it's it's
all, it's all the people in power. Every people suck and then all
of a sudden they would just be like fucking anti Semitic powers activate and then
started just becoming the fucking worst people. It is crazy to me, yeah,
kind of that people can't make that distinction. By the way, it
is wild that people like still can't figure out the difference between like criticizing a
government and its people. I don't know, very weird. Yeah, it's
it sucks. It sucks ass. But yeah, so that that's my answer.
That's my answer. I would fucking I have all that. You know,
there's somebody actually drew I don't remember if this was tongue in cheek or
if this was when the alt right were coming after me, but there is
a what is that the covetous the greedy jew drawing? You know that?
You know that drawing? Right? Oh? Yeah, I like the hunch
back and then like the somebody drew that of me, a version of me
like that. And I can't remember if someone did it as a joke or
if it was when when those guys were fucking with me, Hey, I
can't remember, but I have it, and I'm being honest, I love
it. It's it's it's great. I was like, I can't believe someone
did this. It's crazy. Yeah, the effort. That's that. I
still have people sending me that picture of do you remember that that ridiculous image
of it's like me and Lacey in the middle, and then it's the two
like sides, and it's this big drawing. It's this big drawing of like
every side and it's like Steve shives on one side and like me and Lacier
in the middle. Yes, dude, that drawing so weird. Forgot about
that. I forgot about that, dude. I still see it. It
gets brought. I see it every now and again, like people tag me
in and I'm like, it's man, it's so weird that that was like
a thing at that time. There you see it this like you were you
guys were the you guys were fucking literally Romeo and Juliet, like you know,
there was the Montagues and the Capulets or whatever the fuck. Yes,
it's so dumb and it's so crazy that somebody did that, even, right,
is it the monag use in the capulates. That's the money. No,
you're right, yeah, it's it's the money using the capults. Okay,
okay, all right. I didn't want to like, I was like,
wait, I don't want to sound confident that it's like the wrong fucking
yeah like that. It's like the monitor the mono using the silver steins.
This alright, let's get the fuck out of here. Uh A little bit,
a little bit more of a in depth episode. I think we have
been doing. Oh, by the way, while we're at it, we've
been doing this advice column on Extra Ammo lately and it's been people really like
it, and that's kind of cool. It's a it's a more subdued,
it's less uh, less jokey. I guess there are some there's some bits
in there, for sure, but uh, it's interesting. People seem to
be like in that. We're gonna keep doing that. We got a lot
of questions and a lot of them are really, really fucking interesting, So
we're gonna keep keep that up. We're gonna be doing our elections for our
dictatorships very very soon as well. When Sweeney's back from being ravenous and ravenously
touched on by whoever whoever, whoever kidnapped him. We'll get him in the
booth and hopefully he's not traumatized enough he doesn't have that thousand yard stare.
Yeah, you know that's dangerous. You don't want to come back. You
don't want to come out of that with like resting molested face. You know,
you think, you think he is a possibility that he's not gonna return
with his own face. Like somebody actually like replaced his face with somebody else's,
Like they had like, yeah, skin mask and then and then they
put like like a ten year old girl's face. They put it on.
I could not do a show with Kingston with it with his body and a
ten year old girl's face on. I could. We would have to end
the show at at that point. But oh god, that's so gross,
that's so vivid. All right, Yeah, we're gonna get out of here.
Check out Extra Amo if you want. We have a dictatorship election coming
on. We each pitched our dictatorships and you guys get to vote on that.
We're doing advice columns. We're gonna be starting up some movie screw uh
sometime soon as well. Merch snark Tank, dot shot absolutely Patreon dot Com
slash the snark Tank and uh yeah, we'll uh, we'll catch you.
Uh you want to count me? Count me down. I got to open
this first. I forgot to set this up beforehand. But it's a quick
little oh my paid, oh my god paid active you go, oh parents,
black guy. I totally forgot about this. Oh we forgot about Yeah,
we forgot about the Woke fairly. I had it open, I know
it open. We got sidetracked. Well, we'll bring you know, we'll
bring it up when Sweeney's when Sweeney is on the show, because I think
i'll yeah, because he already tweeted about it, right, so like he's
got yeah he did, he's gonna yeah yeah, so we'll uh, we'll
bring him in next time. We'll talk about the woke Fairly Hot Parents reboot.
I can't believe they're doing this again. I can't believe because they just
rebooted The Fairly Od Parents for a live action show a couple like a couple
years ago when the Halo show came out on Paramount Plus and it was fucking
terrible, soly doing it again, Yeah, I don't I don't know,
man, But and this is like, stop this there's got to be something
to it. Man, let them die. It would be just please please
yes, three two one Benya Benya been all up, Inya wrote, not
rode in. We're not asking, we're not answering questions. Still, yeah,
that is. Do you know what Benya Binie is? No? What
is that that is? Unless it's I'm assuming it's the reference Gola Gola Island.
There was a kid's show called Go Go Island where it had had Kingston's
people. It was it was basically a show about Kingston's family and there was
this giant yellow frog named Benya Binya, and it creeped me the funk out,
dude, because it was just it was giant. It was like,
it's almost as big as a big bird, but like you know, frog
size. Benya bing a polywog. It was a polywog. Ew Oh,
yeah, that's upsetting. Whoa, that's huge. I'm saying it to the
frog, not that it's a black family. By the way, I want
to it freaked out. That is it's so humid. Yeah, I don't
like its eyes are like its eyes are droopy, and it's got like a
it's got like an expression that seems to indicate like, I guess I'm here,
Like every picture of him seems like he's he's like it does look like
that. Yeah, let's go man. But anyway, the song is dope.
Though it's dope, you alshould hear it. It actually kind of slaps.
I feel like I've only seen this image like once in my life,
and I blocked it out. But yeah, benya been you have been all
up in you mcg epic rap Battles of History Chris is Dad versus a sickly
Vietnamese boy. Begin well spoiler alert, I'm alive. I love this so
I love this. I think my dad might have won. I wonder if
my dad would I wonder if my dad would come on the show. I
wonder if he I feel like he's too much. Uh hot hot ones,
hot ones, but the wings are covered and increasingly increasingly thick levels of ropey,
dripping, scorching com that makes you gag and burp. It makes you
burp cum bubbles. Yeah just hot, is that what you mean? Yeah?
You gagine Conan O'Brien on on hot ones burping cum bubbles. I don't.
I don't know how I feel about that. I'd be like dude,
you don't need to degrade yourself that much, do you. Damn? Yeah,
just like I love everywhere that would be that would be a bridge too
far, I think for him. Yeah, yeah, the Home Depot,
he's like one of those. He's like one of those few like I don't
want to sounds disparaging, but I don't really mean it because I don't I
don't know who else I would apply to either, But like he's one of
those like examples of like a like a very white person that I have like
unyielding respect for, Like there aren't really many, you know what I mean?
Like I like him a lot. Yeah, Like he seems like like
a genuinely he seems like one of those like Jack Black type people where it's
like I would be really disappointed to find out like really negative things. They're
like weird howl where it's like, man, it would really be disheartening if
I found out that you were like, yeah, I don't know one of
those is nothing sacred anymore? Kind of kind of moment, Yeah, like
for sure, do you think that? Yeah? Protect him? Uh?
The home Depot day laborers who touched my son. The owner of Derek's foreskin
me yellow hair is trans mask pussy. I fucking touched your son. Damn.
I hope that's not true. Hey man, you know I think you're
laughing at somebody, the idea of somebody owning your foreskin. Oh no,
I just I'm just thinking of these poor begskin dudes that are just trying to
grind in for some reason, just grabs this dude's son. Just fucking molesting
though, Molesto, Molesto, you'll give me back your son fifty bucks or
something. I don't know. I guess it go. I don't know.
Yeah, turning and pussy in this life for the next Elon Musk inviting eight
wild Ram Ranch cowboys and Sean Mendes on a spacecraft to Mars. It's a
prank, bro as he places semen in his paint in his penis, wipe
me down because I'm covered in com little Boozy Jack Jack the World's fastest Maori.
Bethesda Fallout is to og fall Ott what the Halo Show is to the
og Halo trilogy? Chris, what's your favorite hell Diver's stratagem? I don't
know. I haven't played in a while. Actually, like I think it's
I don't know man, probably uh, I think that that that that that
five hundred k mega ton bomb is pretty fucking It's pretty rad. Big meaty
stink Andy, the man whose handies are stre and dandy coming in a hot
pocket. Now I'm boiling milk. Uh if you if you take Timpoole's beanie
off, he looks like cuphead? Stupid? What does that mean? Does
you have like an empty space in his head that like, do you imagine
having a concave can you? Can you imagine having a concave skull to the
point where it's like, man, you look like Cuphead. It's just yeah,
he's like a bread bull. Oh oh man, I need that drawn.
I need a cuphead version of Timpoole, and then I will print it
out and make it a personal shirt for me. I will I will wear
that just for me. I gotta make personal shirts again. It was fun
making dumb because I would make dumb. I would make merch that like I
know no one else would make. Like when I used a lot, I
would just like put up a design on there. I would order one and
then take the design off because it was so I thought it was Yeah.
I did a couple of the like that I have. I did a couple
of those for there's a there's a specific shirt in the merch shop Snark Tank
dot shop that is uh, that is very clearly a design that it could
be used to say a lot of things. It's the it's it's a it's
the gay Station three shirt in the in the original PS three font where like,
I feel like I want a lot of shirts of this just saying different
things, and so I ordered like a bunch of dumb fucking it is so
dumb, but yeah, I don't know. Yeah, big meaty things,
Heath Smoker, Gigs, Lagriticus, corn Bread, what the fuck t secret
white gay lover s'more move home? Was transfernd who comes? Kendrick raped Drake?
Not the Nickelodeon one. Oh yeah, that that was I was saving
saving that, like I wanted to talk about that with Kingston. Also,
yeah, yeah, I did hear it. I don't know. I don't
know what's going on. So it's fine. I saw people. I saw
some people were disappointed just because they wanted it to be like a push a
tea push a Tea dumped a lot of fucking like you know tea. When
it came to like, oh, firing back at Drake and shit, and
Kendrick was kind of like, now, let's not go that deep. And
some people are like, oh, man and so, but we can talk
about it. I'm Kingston, uh, you know, returns with his child
face or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. The thing about Kendrick is like,
I like Kendrick, but sometimes I'll listen to I'll listen to his music and
I'll feel like he's doing an impersonation of somebody who's rapping and it's like disrespect.
Like he sounds I don't know, I don't know. I was like,
he just has many different I know what you mean. Though I do
know what you mean. He has an inflection that sounds like he's worse at
it than he is, and it always, it always leaves to me kind
of confused because it's I don't know whatever. I'm sure, sweet Sweeny,
you will have a lot to say. Uh, Tommy, Tommy Pickles.
Like there's a part in the song where it's like, uh, where he
goes be be Be Be, and like you're just looking at the lyrics where
it's ooh bbbbb, I'm like, what the fuck is what is going on?
Tommy? Pickles found suffocated from crib bumper. Jesus, I'm too medically
and profoundly horny for racism. That makes sense. I get that. I
understand that, Like if you if you're just a derelict gooner, then like
you're probably gonna be attracted to everybody in racism doesn't make much sense to you.
I respect that on some level. You know, listen to swords drawn
by Army of the Pharaohs and see if you recognize the sample. They're like
Jedi mind tricks. One of my lecturers got cucked by the lead singer of
the Pixies, Gayote generous Genesis be like, I'm in love with the Homo
SpongeBob piss pants, mister pants, I have a separate patron account for the
stark Tank. Okay, that makes sense. Nice, that is so funny.
Uh yeah, I understand why Baller of the First Sin spumb offutters.
What if instead of I Love Lucy, the show was I Love was called
I Love Pussy and it was about me? Jolly old dipshit poop stain McClain
may thy load, drip and splatter ciphergraph fiberglass flashlight prank. Jesus Ao Philly
looking way better than New York right now, Gay butcher Pete be like he's
whacking and jacket and packing a hunter Dubois out of spells, not shells,
housing the homeless with oh hoosing the homeless with dirty brown water. You could
never fuck a guy like I spread twelve feet wide with thick ass thighs.
I could didn't even feel you inside. Come only in guys. I don't
know. I don't know what it is. Who's that? I don't know?
And I'll never have you never have a friend like me. I don't
know. I don't get it. Yeah, I don't know. I don't
know. Back to tank of piss, Caucasian container, the cracker belt for
gays, disgruntled Donald Trump burping on Dom's clit. Super Earth is just regular
Earth without Israel. Uh? Page two, Come on, Max Silhouette.
Two cheers for my bestie for coming out of the closet. Hip hip,
your gay hip, hip, your gay Uh? She pipkin on my Pippa
Rosa Mulano. We are rebranding the stark Tank to the spank Tank. Maybe
slightly above average clit energy. How can I be homophobic? I blew a
fucking brains out. Just the hard r star coffee ripped the digital hookah,
now I'm getting molested on the set of Embryonic Sheldon Uh the MCU should cast
the Hound from Game of Thrones as Sabertooth. My son froze to death in
the waste of Ohio by going homeless to pay you Fox. This is his
memorial rip John transferm Gremlin exposing lactose in tolerance people to ninety million rogins of
ionizing radiation. USh Craig the Canadian and icy hand job from a frosty Edmonton
hooker. It's your boy, Shawne d Gilbert Godfried voice, I hit it
from the back play whack a mole with her tapeworm. Jesus uh ah man,
Holy fuck uh three XO and the boundless nostalgia resulting from the site of
old game and Former covers and game Former actually came back recently, or like
they came back, but they separated that they separated from Game Stop, so
now you don't have to fucking go to game Stop to be subscribed to them,
which is I immediately I was like, yes, yeah, that's cool.
I love those magazines. I need necessarily read them. The Homeless Cat.
Do you I would like flip through them, you know what I mean?
I would. I used to flip through them. I read them mixt
but that was also I was also you know, I'm a little bit older,
so that was kind of like, that's truly the best way to get
in for me. I should clarify, I should clarify. I used to
read them like I have, like the ones like when I was a kid.
I would read them like when I was a teenager. I would be
like I would skim them, and I just liked They're just they were just
genuinely good magazines actually, but yeah, uh and I just I subscribed to
them again because I kind of miss I kind of miss having physical media in
some way. I don't know. There's something about that, like every time
I go home, I see my stack, I see my stack of gaming
four US whenever I go home, and I'm like, this is nice.
I don't know, but yeah, I totally agree. Actually, I I
resubscribed to I used to subscribe to all to a Revolver. It was a
metal magazine. And then I realized that, oh they're still around, So
I was like, fuck it, why not for that very reason, though
yeah, I miss kind of thumbing through that shit. Part of me is
also just wondering how long they have left before they go away, So I'm
like, let me get into this, this last wave before this goes away
for good. Uh. The homeless cat that Shane Dawson impregnated, slurping's stroke
and smoke and joking. Emoticon's going like this, drip mh Lord of homeless
drip so lester s alone spinning piss into Lily's mouth like a motherbird feeding her
baby's obi want you blow me? Jackson Vernon, Norwegian game dev developing spanks
the quest Kremlin to Gremlin Dib Membrane is our only light skin Hispanic rep Oh,
that's true, that's that is true. I forgot that that was true.
That did true from Invader zim Is Mexican. I did. I did
forget that. Oh it's easy to forget when their last name is fucking Membrane
and not fucking Membrano or something membrano. I'm gonna, I'm gonna steal your
bones. She as a wrath on my metrio inn till I zinthos. That's
awesome. One two fish gay fish swenfish is Zoo by Denzel Fury. I
am gay by Ice Ice Baby what I'm gabby? What is this? I'm
gabye, I'm ice ized baby by Vanilla Ice. You're gonna have to clarify
that a little bit more. Wage Slate five eighty three a sad guy from
Michigan telling the boys, Uh, it isn't gay to be gagging on goggins
because we appreciate the performance. But I'm secretly crossing my fimbers. The b
Peni Brothers present Master Roschi Flow, drank Master corns sacred water and got straight
to pop and launches send Zubean, there's a new Dracula flow. By the
way, there's some gold in there. Oh really, uh doctor, yeah
there's one where is like that. The fentanyl got me moving like a claymation
figure. That was my favorite one because it's very I can visualize it very
easily. Doc Doncerson Dagoba these nuts in your mouth, installing a faulty new
ual linko Chris's head that plays thunder on a repeat. You gotta pay the
troll tolls again to boys whole Gaye six is afraid of Gate seven because seven
gaped nine multiple genders is a scam made up by Big Toilet to sell more
bathrooms. Stupid. Oh my god, I love Big Blank that. Yeah,
Big Big Black is a good joke. But like more than that,
I love the idea that you can sell a bathroom. So like the idea
that you would go to a store and be like, I want this bathroom
instead of just the components that make it up. Oh God, you stand
at the edge of a precipice, not a prefaces Chris and Natasha bent Bent
bedding Field pat pocketful of semen. Oh I got a pocketfull of pocketfull of
semen. Oh I get a Yeah, I think that's who that is.
Ah, help, fuck the dumbest lesbian. I'll carpet bomb the Gaza strip
for a quarter. Oh Eddie, John Strickland chronic herpes by Come forty Come
by the way, Come forty one is an obvious Yeah, obvious one.
Every when I hear comfort those songs, are you talking about, oh,
come forty one? So like fat Dick or something I was thinking about.
I was thinking about fat Lip. I think that song to do that's a
hard They're hard to sing, like they've got like a I don't know,
there's something about that guy's voice that's like really hard to emulate in a way.
That's I don't I feel like even Pearl Jam is easier, you know
what I mean? Yeah, Pearl Jam wasn't that hard. Actually it was.
No. There are definitely something like say, Chester Bennington very hard.
Uh, Derek from A from fucking some forty one, he has a pretty
difficult voice. There's some that like they're like, oh, that guy from
A Three Days Grace is a hard fucking because he has like he has like
a unique whatever he does with his vocal chords almost makes him sound by himself,
like he's like he's a layered It's impressive. Yeah, I don't know
how he does it. I don't know how he does it. It's looking
crazy, it's it is really crazy. Like yeah, he's yeah, he's
got a unique one. Yeah, I don't know. That'd be difficult.
Merk eighteen eighty nine. She worshiped my balls, call her sacrilegious. The
First Church to Key David presents a massive orgy, but only the dude showed
up. Second Church to Key David featuring You Better than the First Church to
Keep David pre Roz Blake eight nine and six. I got to hit up
that bitch Delphine. Need to get myself some elf man ass at the thallmore
embussy, m fow more embussy, stupid, so dumb, that's so dumb.
That only works in writing. Happy belated sween Ah, Happy belated birthday,
sween Oh, I think I get analogies again. Uh. Also you're
gay plays enter Sandman, nice Chris trying to read like Papa Pa. Papa.
Jeffrey Epstein was killed by the kids from Code named Kids next Door Alaskan
oilfield trash, Texas tater salad last name Bleach, first name, drink like
a failed abortion. I drowned, should have drowned in the sink, su
Hulk, take on my ass here as Nikki Ziggy Wicket nine O nine Sorry,
Miss Jackson, badly brave Hugger, Derek duck Hunt the vegan necromancer,
I got consent etherean BROCHERI and Punter and Melpis went Finally he rehabilitated, back
in the saddle with two functioning hands and running out our list as always the
King of Haphazard. Thank you all, yeah for your support. Remember Snark
Tank doc shop uh patroon dot com sas a snark tank all sorts of it
over there, and uh, yeah, we'll we'll we'll see you. Yeah,
go send Uh. I know it's belated birthday, but go, sends
Sweeney. Uh, buff dudes holding birthday cakes like naked buff dudes holding birthday
cakes, send them that in his feed. All right, we'll know you're
real. We'll know you a real listener if you do that, like if
we see that in the wild, we'll know that you're a true because you
stayed to the very end. And that's how we'll know. And guess what
I'll I'll send I will. I am gonna in that thread and in the
pinned comment on our on our Twitter, I'm gonna post the naked birthcake cake
guys, so you guys don't have to search it up and fuck up your
search engine. I will post it there. You know what to do,
and we will know you're a real one. Right, all right, let's
get the fuck out of here. I got a meeting with my uncle, Santiago