Hello, I'm Kathy and I play Lavelin crest Our Resident Swan Noble. We
are an independent podcast. Please join us on Patreon, Instagram, and Twitter
at cbhpod. Thanks for listening. Could Have Been Heroes is a role playing
game podcast where six old friends adventure as six total strangers who, after missing
their shots at destiny, now get a second chance to make a mess of
everything. E m it is I low winkle sage of stories. Returned to
my rightful place. And that's all the more We'll say that Rapunzel flinched with
every bone crushing smash from the gigantic serpent's tail. She winced with every splash
of scalding acid that narrowly missed or didn't The Nearly's the heart of Scorn,
dangled tauntingly in the air, its magic gobbling up and suppressing all other magic
besides that of the Nearlies. Dozens of lifetimes stealing her mother's arcane secrets in
long Solitude, all for nothing in the face of the Queen of spites alteration
to the emerald heart of the Tower. Another crunching blow, and Zell Nearly
ran to their aid, driven by sheer instinct, but pulled back, as
if she had been scalded. The aura surrounding the glorious or so toxic,
so consuming that even at this distance she felt the sickening urge to kneel down
and worship the thing. Yet the Nearly stood strong, fought hard. They
didn't fight well exactly. They were plucky. They had that going for them.
Gwen's magic had a lot of amplitude behind it, but Zell could see
her straining for control. Val was fast and sharp, but didn't have a
mind for tactics and was wildly reckless. Maybe everyone whose donned a magical red
cloak fights like that, she thought. Laveline was quick and skilled, but
seemed a million miles away. Zenator was holding back, and Martin was currently
a large trampoline. Zell was so desperately curious about them. Why in the
world did the Guildmaster choose them for the task of carrying the sacred curses?
And how long had he been allowing them to carry them? Every moment in
contact with the sacred curse was a dangerous moment. Zell had worked with the
Guild of Heroes for years among their Arcanum laboratories, and had heard the bandying
about of the idea weaponizing the sacred curses, but it was a very hushed
and taboo notion. However, they had used the combat capabilities of Nectar itself,
so why not the curses. And now the guild master had no checks
and balances. The other leaders were missing, or dead or worse, and
he could do as he pleased. Zell stretched what little of her magic senses
she could manage under the weight of the emerald art and flickered them along the
nearlis. It was foolish she could draw attention to herself, but she had
to know. It took her moments to find the seeds, germinated and rooted
deep in soul and bone, an apple that was the deepest of all curses,
and the greatest of all blessings, fertile soil that was the desperate and
watered by conflict, heroism, love and hate. She of long hair was
flabbergasted at the sheer audacity of the spellcraft he sought to force the White Tree
to bloom. And these strange folk were the seed beds, or maybe more
accurately, they were each a chrysalis for something that was even now becoming all
that, and there was no way they knew no way. He'd told them
no, he couldn't have risked them turning the blessing down, for who would
travel and fight and struggle only to be cast off as a husk when the
deed was done. The nearly have reached the heart of Scorn, the gigantic
enchanted emerald that is the nexus of the briar towers and magical defenses. However,
Ellena Peregrine, the wicked stepmother, has returned, transformed into a glorious
taking the form of a gigantic acid spewing snake, and she swallowed the emerald
heart, which has made the task of blowing it up significantly more difficult.
That's still falling towards a she's falling. Can I get there? All right?
I wanted Yeah, you were nearby. You just pushed someone into it,
right right. I want to turn into like a like a nice little
like trappez net, like right above the acid trampoline and love it trampoline.
It is hell yeah, thank you for the input. All right? All
right, Well with my h sir, unleashed bonus. That's one hundred and
one. You got over one hundred. Now renting the flying valerianas whip is
absolutely insane. Like land on my face again. I mean you pretty much
every every character has been sad. And then as you're falling down towards Martin's
big wide face, you remember the saddle and the bathtub and the ropes,
all the many things he's turned into that you've smashed on top of it.
Ring All right, val you and you land you you have enough downward momentum
that you come very close to dipping into that like pool of acid below you
with that, with that high roll, can I maybe even like shift somebody
to like give her like the right angle. Yep? So you go,
you spring back up, and the little the little clock bomb is like just
now bouncing off the wall, just now sailing over your head. Do you
want You're going for it? Come back to mommy. It's reaching out its
hands for you. I want to explode. Okay, agility, Uh oh
god, this has gotta be really hard. Nine. I'm gonna call it
a nine. Okayis that Parkore? So definitely you're gonna get the tool bonus.
Whatever. Your tool bonus is your your your metamorphosis enhancement. It's it's
really high. Now, what is it it is. I need six to
make this successful, unbelievable powerful shapes tool. Bonus from your mercurial transformations are
now plus six. Is that a new is that sheet? I'm not looking
at It was in the level ups I gave you last session, and we
and everybody remembers what what val just said? Right, come to mommy?
No part? Which part? Lick my butt? I rolled it twenty five?
No, God, Jesus that okay, what the hell is it?
Know how much of a bonus she needed? It's almost like it's does I'm
not on the so mm hmm. Okay, just tell me that this worked.
It did? It does? On the nose stressed? Okay, so
you launched back up, grab the little guy, and are now heading in
a direction of your choice, like while flying through the air to the fissure.
Oh my god, which is also the giant snake move. That's fine,
we'll do with that later. So you into it. By the way,
she is cutting and slicing her throat and neck to swallow this like breaking
emerald blood is spraying out and you so she's swallowing in her Her eyes have
that dictating membrane over them. So Elena doesn't see that Vale and the bomb
just go back onto the side and then she's hanging on like that. And
then did you get swallowed? Do I again again that you're macholus. Yeah,
and Sontor at the start of your turn, you see Vale in the
bomb just inside of Ellens gullet mouth is still like open stended, and the
pink palp like starting to close over it. I yeah, that's fat like
the swallow like happens like really fast. Because I didn't I wanted to make
it really hard to mess with. I don't have a super good idea about
how to help you. I thought you did though. That's what this all
plan is bredegated. It's all Josh, bail me out the situation since episode
one. Don't buck this up. Now, save us, Josh, save
us. All right, I'm gonna this is what I was thinking about doing
anyway, just because I wanted to see if it was gonna happen, and
maybe it helps, but if not, I trust you to find your way
out of the snake mouth. What you do, I'm going to try using
man of sapping touch on the glorious nice, just because I didn't want to
see what will happen. Okay, all of her evil and then you're going
to turn into a glorious all right, So it's what's her what's her defense
on this? It's intellect plus ten? Okay, just your three? Yeah,
I got a three. I mean she's really big. She's not hard
to just touch, like, so you just reach your hand out touch her
side, and and then the eye pops open and you feel like something like
careening into you and your eyes start to glow. And what animal do you
think that Martin or that that xen it'sor most like connects with and what like
single word concept do you think that Xenator most like like embodies in a negative
fashion. He's very prideful. Yeah, I was definitely gonna say pride.
Yeah, I caught that. Uh how about h crow? Oh I think
that's good. Yeah. The whole odin like pain and blood for wisdom,
like yeah, oh I forget. It's because he was dead and then they
were like carrying animals. Also, so Xenator's skin at the shoulder pops open
and like straw and dust can be seen from inside. He's a scarecrow.
Eyes, black glossy eyes start to look out from inside the gap and there's
another split and more like black feathers start to produce, and you see a
wing. Xenator is full of crows nesting inside of his body like he is,
like he's a hollow husk that they're they're nesting inside of Okay, so
you have absorbed glorious essence. This is uh, this is wild. So
I think your reckoning goes up by six. Okay, and Aaron need you
to keep it together. Buddy, You now no longer touch the ground.
You kind of levitate and you can so you can move in any direction,
but you lose two speed. Hmmm. I'm just gonna attach a little string
to you like a balloon, and don't you dare call you around like a
little balloon. Holy shit, that's fucking good play stupid games, win super
prizes. Did it distract her or anything? So? Yeah, she's staring
down at you with this like strange shot. All right, Josh, all
right, I'm gonna make rides and streams and Senator finishes his turn. Are
so there's two other No, there's there's one corpse of a monk, right,
yes there is. I'm gonna run over to that. You have to
be over there, Okay, I think that's all I got. Okay,
So, the caked or the splattered and pancaked corpse of the gigantic troll Mounk
lays of the ground before you, and then it is Valeriana's turn pink and
then darkness, soft, wet, undulating, lined with barbs. Why are
you always inside of animals? Those barbs? Are those barbs you realize are
women's fingernails, resting and pulling you down. Some of them are teeth.
They're jewels and diamonds inside of here, and you are being You're being palpated,
You're being contorted down the throat while you know, clutching onto the little
the little dying bomb creature. Does she have like pierced teeth? What you
said, they're like jewels and diamonds and stuff in her mouth throat, embedded
in her throat teeth and fill them with toothchins. Oh my god, that's
so horrific. Okay, So Jile Rihanna has disappeared down the throat of the
snake. No, so, so in here ahead of you, as you're
traveling through this tunnel, you start to see small white, glinting shapes in
the distance, and then more and then more and then more, and you
realize that it's stars, star dust, and ahead of you the green gigantic
emerald is glowing and now it's just sort of like floating in a void.
The so there is like a void like a space like void inside the snake.
Or or maybe you're losing your mind from lack of oxygen and squeezing compression.
All right, what would you like to do? Cut your way out?
Start thrashing. I landed somewhere. Now you're traveling down this tunnel.
Ahead of you, you can see that like the void that the big green
emerald is floating in. I don't want to go there, no, no,
no, no, no can I I want to just cloak swoop up
just like with all of my like might I want out of here? All
right? I don't want to go The diamonds are cool. They're putting me
shining diamond throat, the gem throat. You're going to try to You're just
going to try to like force your way back up its throat against the enjoy.
Yeah, yep. And I would like to also like be gripping my
dagger just as a oh you got to run a line as you go.
Sounds good. Okay, would you cheat make a strength or agility? Agility?
I know no strength for sure against her? Oh dear, this is
going to be very difficult. It is a ten okay, okay, okay,
that's like the sixteen over twelve, a nine er plus your agility seventeen
seventeen ten seven. But I get to call on stuff. Can you get
three? Oh for sure? For sure without even breaking a swing? Brave
obviously wild bold. I think you just get brave. Well that's four,
so all right, holy ship, oh heavens, I would wouldn't. I
couldn't possibly, I wouldn't even know where to begin. Where that is?
It's like on the right side, right are. It's like how the heart
is kind of slightly to the left. Say a password and it comes out
right. That's so good, that easy. We wanted to be that easy
to guys. Do not put in the effort and you have to knock shame
and a haircut on it, and then we queep back to bit bit sweet,
pweet pweet. Okay, So Valiana crawls, squeezes, kicks, writhes
her cloak like an octopus pushing you know, tendrils or tentacles, uh,
aiding and grabbing and grasping, and at the end of all of that work
you make it up to the back of the throat. You can feel acid
dripping on the back of your legs. Uh. You lose three body and
three spirit below zero for body. All right, so bright an X over
your body. Your body broken. And because it was that attack. Uh
uh, you gain a compression fracture defense rolls are rolled twice and you have
to take the lower now and it is trauma three. So your ankle snaps
and breaks inward as the jawn muscles contract around it. Okay, uh,
laveline. That is a full round action to try to Okay, here was
my plan, because I've been absolutely nailing these roles. Yeah, I wanted
to fly up to where Valiana has been eaten. You can just see her
feet like as she's shoving herself back out of it. I wanted to take
my spear and slice from the outside, Yeah, to try to get the
slit and pull her out somebody or she was dragging her blade along the inside,
and I should know exactly where to go and it should be easier.
Plus I should get a bonus because this is her story on the outside.
So she's got the blade on the inside, and now you want to try
and slice from the outside. So interesting. Yeah, maybe you've gotten we
get a little extra. Okay, so it's a cold shot. But the
guard on the body is only five. Okay, so it puts up to
a difficulty nine shot difficulty well guard nine on your accurate versus your accuracy?
Okay, Well I was gonna fly it with my spear. Okay, just
you said shot, and I wanted to make sure you Oh yeah, yeah,
yeah, you shoot an arrow in such precision that it nine. Huh,
she's doing the math ahead of time. Any important? That's fucking nothing?
What I haven't made it so far? How is your accuracy so high?
You gave it to me? I give you you can't do anything,
all right. You jump up into the air, swing your spear, and
then you go as all the air gets knocked out of you, as the
tail snaps and cracks and sends you careening away. I like this gave any
I'm leaving yea okay? Well, next on which she will use swallow,
which means and she will she will eat Valiana and you will know I'm out.
I see her again. How long does my Creckwood strutterer. He's dead.
Well, the top half of him is laying on the ground front.
I still have Todd empowered, Yes you do. And so he's massive and
in the air and powerful. So I am going to target. See.
I don't want to attack her with my magic and then potentially harm and yeah,
you don't want to electrocute. So I want to send Todd to like
claw at that at that gap of neck that everyone's trying to get at.
Okay, olirioda climb towards the light, all right, roller percentage check and
Todd can do slash and ren damage right correct, Pierson Crush would not help
her get out of the throat. Yeah, he has slash, pierce and
crush and rent. So we'll go with slash. All right, Here we
go, Here we go, Here we go, Here we go. All
right. I rolled forty seven, So fifteen damage plus harried and plus two
when attacking already harried characters. I guess gotcha, all right, Tod,
he is she is harried because of the strider fucking hairy rass. So Todd
starts to claw, desperately, slashing with his beak, trying to get through
enough of the scales and tissue. But it is thick and the hide is
hard, and he does not deal enough damage to free Valiriana. All right,
but he weakens the gap. That's true. Yeah, so Gwen,
you are that's a defensive action. I think are many action? Oh yeah,
it is freeebe, that is free empowering him is a defensive action.
Right, You're right, he just acts at the start of your turn.
I feel like my best move right now is to confuse her Elida, And
so instead of casting an attack that's going to harm her physically, I'm going
to cast ghostly mists, gotcha like around her? Right, So there is
a swirl and a contortion of magic around her eyes and mouth and nose,
and miss appear and you're hoping for get some of them illusions, going yeah
they're illusions, Michael, Oh I just need this. Look what could you
show her? Okay, almost real? Seven? So I got it.
Activate strange shapes? So what what are snakes scared of? Mongoose? Can
remember that this is Ellen, one of your oldest enemies. Keep the wicked
stepmother? Maybe I could? Yeah, her daughters. Wait you think she's
scared of her daughters? No, but they'll be very distracting. Yeah,
maybe she is scared of them now maybe so, yeah, you've done to
us. Yes, I'm going to cast exactly mother what you man cunning check
versus Ellie is cunning. Just so you know, there is a plus eighty
percent chance to trick onlookers sorry sight believing they are real and do not appear
shadowing. Roll that she's got a thirty percent resistance, so fifty to fifty
chance roll fifty or lower fifteen. Suck her up, her eyes widen,
That snake serpent like slit of her eye opens up into a human pupil as
she sees images of her own daughters grizzly falling apart, twisted by glorious magic.
We were so what you all right? All right? Elida holds her
turn, staring in transfiction at at at the girls, and delays in shock.
All right, Martin, okay, am I position wise, this is
gonna sound weird. Which elevated so you're related? I see? Maybe is
there like a like a you know, cartoony lump where where you are Because
you're elevated and the snake, the snake's head is up here, you can
actually see into the mouth you can probably see her feet sticking out of the
back of its throat. You could also see the cartoony lump in the throat.
Yes, okay, all right, well then I am going to kind
of like brace myself on one thing, and then I want to turn my
arm into a rope road trick. All right, let's he braces himself and
then the rat Martin hybrid. Well, I don't know if I'm a rat
anymore because that was a trampoline. Well, I think I think maybe you've
still got the few whiskers that haven't gone back in yet. Oh you were
a trampoline only. Shit. The rat trampoline hybrid just sort of goes and
then one of its arms just mister fantastics into the throat in Eli's throat.
So let's get the percentage roll. That'll be uh okay, So so you
get your tool bonus on your strength check trying to pull her out. Eligen's
strength is ten, So you're going to try to beat a strength ten check.
Okay, you can do this. Oh that's a very high role.
That is slightly I don't know, maybe you should have to no talk to
me. Flat days rolled into the side of his like a roll dish.
Now it's flat enough, all right, what do you got? All right?
So and then nineteen can I call on weird? Oh? I think
so? So that'll get you just kind of plant to everything you do because
your character ismic nonsense. Yeah. Effects, So it's twenty three minus ten
is thirteen success, and you feel a and a horrible sort of like give
me the beef what's for dinner song? You're basically whipping his arm around and
you feel something grab onto your ankle, the broken one, and then this
shock of pain as you are pulled into the world, and it's sort of
like a rebirthing you. You've come flying out of her mouth and and uh,
right back into the vat of acid the neck. No, just kidding
you, yank. You're in You're in mid air when you hear goodbye,
and the last thing you hear before the explosion goes off is as Elda saying,
oh I love you, to the to the trauma, to the daughters.
As the bomb goes off, no and sees anything but white. Your
ears ring so hard that you cannot cannot hear. It's just white noise,
ringing, white light. And then as it starts to clear, you can
see the side of the tower has blown out and rocks are crumbling down into
the abyss below. All of this castle's magical defenses are down Xenotor and Gwen.
You feel like as dozens of magical transportation spells like fire off immediately people
are people are fleeing out of the tower into the tower like it is just
open season. Apparently people have been waiting for centuries, Like somewhere in the
bowels of the tower like a magical like thief Ring is like it's open.
And somewhere else someone's like, my daughter has been trapped there for years and
and you know, so venteas doom. The little mining kids are like yeah,
yeah, Like gnome slaves just come pouring out of the side and screaming
freedom. Uh. You start to hear carnival music, explosions, war horns
of the crown Landers in the in the valley in the like in the thorny
valley below, rock dust spraying everywhere. You're buried in snake guts, emerald
chunks, and there is this crunch and contortion as a glorious his heart snaps
in half, and the black hole starts to royal inwards and apple Jack Arberlain
Applejack, where she's been waiting in the back to perform her duty. Come
on, lava Oline, it's time. Do it. Do it now?
Would do? Would you be honor? Wait the Applejack family acts, open
me up. The butterflies are ready to fly again. Do it? I
don't you You're supposed to not hesitate her. You want to say your daughter
or not? Senator yells do it without looking up from the corpse's harvesting it?
Swing away? Queen's myke hard choices? Isn't there a way to do
it without? Don't worry about that right now? Just kill her? I
mean, are I still have to do it? God? Damn I asked
you to do this. Are you gonna do it or not? But when
I run up and grab the axe out of her hand and just do it
myself? Yes, all right? Roll that percentage check? Oh good,
she's good at those sixty that's better than a seven. I so thought you
were about to say six. No, and I was going to shit my
pants because you have rolled like what a fourteen and eleven like a nine.
You these have been so nightmarish from a plot perspective, that killing off major
characters that I did not expect to die sixty you slam into the side of
her trunk, and a swarm of b butterflies appears, swirling, pirouetting.
But these have little green leaves at the bottom of their tails, like the
swallowtail, and they swarm around and it's just soft and quiet and beautiful.
I feel like I hold out one of my tree hands and one lands and
then like poofs away and I am crying, okay, and ladies and gentlemen,
that's it. Ella is gone, finally fucking gone, collapses in on
herself, nothing, no glorious and just a dark, smoldering ingut is left
on the ground where she went, crackled with cut through with emerald, and
everything like flies into wild action. Around around where you are, the staircase
are destroyed, the lift to the next level is destroyed. There is how
an enormous hole in the side of the tower, and you can see rooftops
and buttresses outside. There might be a way up through there. Well well
well, so Zelle pads into the room, looking like around the corner.
Ah. So, from the copious amount of dead snake and mysterious bones and
tissue, I assumed that was that used to be the glorious there there it
is. Do you mind if I take that for safe keeping? Or do
any of you have a containment sphere that you can create? And she starts
waving her hands. Oh my magic is coming back, Oh my power is
returning. This is really good. Thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you. I've been to the top
floor before, which means that I can go there again. It's divided into
dimensions if we flew. If I flew you outside and to the top of
the tower, you would find nothing up there because it's phased, So you
have to go up through the tower to reach tower top. Once you've done
that, then you can reach the towertop that's in the usable phase again.
I'm going to go up there, and I am going to do my very
best to kill my mother. I've done it a bunch of times, but
she's killed me a bunch of times before too, in other iterations, in
other lives. I've gotten away before, I've killed her before, she's killed
me before. If I can't kill her, I will do my very best
to slow the ritual. Whatever it is that's happening happening up there, I
will do my very best to slow it down. Thank you for saving me.
If I don't see you again, love you, Love you too,
love your work, big fan. Bye. Best of luck. Is that
you can't bring us with you, that's what you're saying. I could bring
you up there, but there would be nothing up there for you because you'd
be in a different phase. You have to travel up through the membranes of
the tower to reach there. It's a safety mechanism to avoid flying assaults on
the tower. This is stupid, but okay, fine, nothing will walk,
all right, We'll see you up there. Best of luck. And
then in a flash of light, she disappears. Wait, arbor is holding
her side. Wait you guys came all the way up here to save her,
right, No, we're here to save your daughter or both both.
Well, she just ran off, goddamn it. Well we also want to
stop the ritual. She's got stuff. Yeah, that's more important than than
the guild stuff. We yes, we're breaking her out so that she can
join the fight, which is exactly what she did the moment she had the
opportunity to do. So this is working. How can we help you?
Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm regrowing I'm just
gonna be a little week for a while. Okay, why don't you?
Yeah, I'm sorry. I do not know how my internal circular system work,
but I think it runs on blood of flies. Super glad you survived
though, Oh me too, thank you for uh for picking it picking up
the slack. Well. But I know that was a lot to ask.
I was just trying to I was going for like a hey, you know
it wasn't your fault. See like you did it again and nothing bad happened,
Like you didn't do anything wrong. But uh, but you were cowardly.
I suppose it would be the Yeah, a little bit cool. That's
why we're a team. I had your bag. I can't with you anymore.
I can't sorry you, mom, all right. I don't think we
have a lot of time. The ship's going crazy. The tower is starting
to shake a lot more than it was. I at least have time to
eat the last of my My man of flowers can regenerate short rest. You
can eat, You can eat consumables. You can also recover an amount of
anima equal to your vitality. Okay, does anyone have like a health potion
or like a granola bar? Some of my apples. Yeah, that'd be
great. Are you broken? Yeah? Your body broken? Oh yeah,
anything to help spirit? Yeah yeah, yeah, here you go. So,
uh, it's a giving tree. She's using her giving. She's using
her giving. Very clear that I have not taken anything. She's giving her
giving tree. You need to use your giving tree powers. So each of
you can heal up to four essence of any combination. Uh. This can
restore our body one break. So if you have an X somewhere, you
can return that to a zero and then increase it. Yeah, and then
I can increase it to four. So you you return it to zero and
then increase it. This does not remove afflictions, however, So your your
ankle is still busted there, Valeriana, at least you're not dying anymore.
True small winds. We need to get it, can you. Oh yeah,
I could bandage myself, right, Can I do that? Yeah?
It got empowered too, it's superior. So I think it can up to
trauma three. Oh yeah, target recovers four body or for spirit. Nice.
So you wrap up your your ankle, pull it tight. You feel
the bone pop back into place. Four body or for spirit three trauma or
less with the laceration, gory or bloody. Oh so you can't get rid
of that because that is a bone affliction, but you can get your spirit
back. That's good. Yeah, so spirit's back to walk it off right,
well, literally, don't walk it up. Literally means okay. So
the trauma of trauma is still three. Trauma still three. Okay. To
the buttresses, flying buttresses, all right outside the open wound that is in
the side of the tower, you can see the armies of Bevel and Kingdom
battling the forces of the fee If. From this height you can see the
black iron Femory and sweeping mighty sword right and left, howling as he cleaves
through dozens of men, And you can see the giants that serve Queen Bevel
barreling forward, crushing face soldiers under their feet. The dragon wheels overhead,
looking down with approval, but not intervening any further, as this is the
extent of its its favorite promised to get them to reach the tower, but
is just watching now. But it still fills just its presence is a dark
shape up in the clouds, filling the cloud or the sky with heat and
red light. You can see the silver knights of kingdom on a charge with
their They ride on these like three horned beasts, you know, like horses
that have long sharp teeth and talons instead of hooves, and charging into the
fey line, and I mean it is it is carnage. Also, the
tower is most powerful with the briar itself, which is like a gigantic living
thing, is still you know, killing dozens of soldiers with volleys of thorns,
but for the most part it is occupied wrestling with a gigantic molten roiling
circus that it's like made out of tents and lines and trapezes and games,
but they're sort of compressed into a like a giant coiled octopus like thing.
Apparently the tower was just on Martin's mind, so when it got loose,
it came here and the prior attacked it, and now it's just sort of
playfully defending itself. So the base of the tower is a thorny carnival with
bright lights, spotlights careening up in the air, which has drawn dozens hundred
thousands of monsters, just random monsters and creatures and creek woods and sentient trees
and emerald drakes crawling out of the forests that have just joined the carnage.
It is berserk, it is chaos. It is one of those paintings of
hell from the Renaissance period, just in its insanity. I love it.
A picture one of those like spinning rides, like the teacups or whatever,
and they just like a wapping Yeah, I think if if I don't want
to spend too much time on it, because we'd be here all day.
But I think definitely the carnival fights like the end of the Beauty and the
Beast film, like just like rides, and yeah, like the like the
fire eater just breathing flames out of his mouth, and tents just enveloping creatures
dissolving them inside of the tent, like there's some sort of huge black and
white striped jellyfish and then just fluttering away, and yeah, just crazy,
crazy shit. Maya sad was eaten by a circus tent? Like that's quite
a fucked up thing to my adult son, my adult not my adult son.
Why is that expression so weird? Love it? Yeah, adult daughter
does not hit the way. I think it's because of all the stories where
yeah, his adult mother boy, his adult son was the one who perpetrated
the crime. Officer like, I think that's it, okay, creepy.
So as you are gazing down, you start out over the the the buttresses
and top and tops of these towers that interconnect, and you can see a
huge window that has been blown out on the next floor up, and you
are angling up towards it when you hear soft, gentle flaps of very large
wings, and then from behind you, right behind Gwynn specifically, you hear,
do you see what you've done, Greeny? Look at what you've done,
Guinny, Look at this cottage. My baby's a carnage baby. Look
what you've done. My adun't my adult granddaughter. This is your last chance,
Squinny. So you turn around and graham Nin doesn't look so good.
Her eyes are sunken, big clumps of her hair have fallen out. Her
cheeks that were once beautiful, proud and plump, are sallow and hang down
on either side, empty of nuts and treats. Her little claws are broken,
and her fingers the skin on the end of her fingers is rolled back
enough that you can see the bone, and there's something moving around underneath her
skin. It's not crows, but her shadow where the fire from the dragon
light above stretches out over the rooftops and buttresses. You can see that her
shadow is huge, with its wings outspread and gigantic crown of horns up on
top of its brow. There's something like hiding inside of her. Whinny,
what have you done? It's done, and she opens her hand and something
comes flying out of it. Everyone make a grit difficulty seven. Check you
sake seven twenty twenty two vow Ducks Steves Dodges fail. I rolled it two,
all right, I didn't quit fail, but I failed. Did you
mean roll a crip? Yeah? I got it. Twenty You rolled an
actually yeah? I also like, oh, it's like right here. So
if you roll a critical hit you both rolled twenties. What the fuck is
happening today? Okay? If you roll a twenty you can save somebody else
from the needles, So pick someone to Senator is already did save up.
We are the more I wet whatever, he'll be fine, all right,
Martin, who do you say? From the needles? Okay? With with
a stretchy gumby arms grabs Lovlis out of the way as a spray like a
porcupine spray of needles. Thousands of them fly out of this contraption that she
has built, each one tipped with some kind of virulent poison. Gwen,
you could see two people because my cloak absolutely not, absolutely not. Do
you want to save pick one? All right? The cloak flashes out,
knocking the needles aside, and xenator like spins the staff around. Knocks hundreds
of the needles out of the way, but a few nin prick the side
of his neck. Oh no gain, five reckoning? What is your reckoning?
You're you're a full ball. Glorious. We're gonna have to kill you.
What the fucking The crows are starting to beg for food inside of your
body. What does it go up to? Okay, alright, you're still
no more effects the crowds, the crow. The crows just start talking this
This could make sneaking around difficult in the future. If one of them arrantly,
he's coming behind you slowly start levitating towards GRAVI Oh my god, dragging
your toes like Nancy in the craft. Very good. If you want to
save your friend, you will give him and you will come home with me.
I have an antidote on my person. It is not mixed. I
will craft the antidote and and I will administer it to your stupid friend if
you come with me. I don't even know who you are. I am
your mother. You are not my grandmother. I am your grandmother. No
mother, I am your shade mother. No, that woman died a long
time ago. Whinny. I'm not playing around with you. I'm not playing
around either. All right, enough time has passed. You need to roll
one D six gain that much reckoning? Well? Can I can anyone else
take action against? No? You do everyone? Can I shoot her into
another realm? What? Well? Don't? What do you mean? Don't
do that? Yeah? My humanity is slipping away after that? Yet twives
CHECKI okay, okay, twenty five, twenty five, twenty seven can be
hypothetically your next your next trigger As a Jesus Christ, I have inflicted him
with dire poison. His humanity will slip away. The curse will eat him
alive, and you will never see him again, and no one will ever
see him again, and the world will be better for it. But you
have some obsession with these crazy people. You have some sort of obsession with
them. Come back with me, Grayton, Come back with me right now
to save your friend. You think I'll just disappear if the curse takes over.
That's her terrible plan. You're cursing all become a horrible monster, probably
bent on taking revenge on you, Gramma. Very fine, very well,
you will. You will do what you didn't happen athy you far her on
the head with think think I doubt came. What happens to you or this
arm me or anyone else? Quid relent? It's time to relent. Where's
the antidote on on my person? But you're no here, gwenton. You're
a murderer. Your murdered your mother. You have murdered people. You made
me kill those men and women from our village. Look what you've gotten,
guin, and look what you've gotten. Well, she's let her prove it.
If she's no healer, then she won't be able to administer the antidote.
And if you look down and you see her belts and pouches and globes.
But if you can do it, you're wrong. This is a terrible
You can do it. Yeah, I'll try. I'm I was just gonna
try to kill her. If you kill her or leave her alive, You'll
still have to figure out the potion. Right. If I kill her,
I'll grab the antidote off of her belt. You have an opportunity to do
something. Yeah, you have to. That was her whole plan. Fine,
yes, I accept the challenge that we have in the position of accepting
give me the ingredients of the antidote, grandmother, prove your teachings to me.
No chance. And then she drops to her left and spreads her flying
squirrel wings and disappears on a glide down towards one of the other buttresses.
All right, everyone roll initiative? Should we go after her? Yes,
I want to cast mass, v says, and VAL's ear only there was
something someone could do, Yeah, if only, what are you saying?
Clop scoop clop boo coo coo cookoo twelve twelve nine, oh ship my speed?
Yeah? Six the caboose forever, the caboose slowly over ring around.
You're like a skinny barren hearkening, just floating around behind everybody. All right,
Gwen, uh, then who's next? Val? I got ten?
I got nine? Right, Val Martin's end that it's our usual. Okay.
So, at the beginning of this encounter, Gramma in has a slight
concussion from a staff strike to her forehead. She is gliding through the air
between two of the buttresses like she's trying to escape to like a lower level,
and then you're in a cluster. Xenator is going to gain reckoning every
round and we'll see what happens with that and then great, So Laveline,
you're up. I want to go after her. I know, do you?
I would you like to do that with my wings? Yeah? I
gave it. Let you have a character with wings. Yeah, all right,
so you dive after How exactly do you want to do it? She's
in mid air right, Yeah? Well, if Senator used bottled time,
would that delay the reckoning effects or would that do the opposite? Yeah,
let's it lets him experience lots of time in a short amount. So we
want the opposite of that, unless we want to see how much reckoning I
could wreck. We all use bottle time, except so I think you would
have to like invert the bottle time to put him in stasis. All right,
I already have way too much on my plate in terms of alchemy,
So can we just go get that bitch? And then I guess I'll try
and make this fucking potion so that you nominated me to make. I don't
drink it all, drink it allator, so I'll be awesome If that's the
solution, is just drink every everything. Nim's Belton. It's the mister Burns
level cure where it's just you have to poison him with everything else. So
that all right, Laveline, what do you want to do? You want
to tackle her in the air. You want to snatch her with squirrel combat
agility versus agility? All right? So her agility is seven, so difficulty
seven. This is not attacking the agility. Take squirrels, I bet,
yeah, scroll nine times out of ten always apologies, I forgot to add
her facets nine check. Geese are terrifying. So I think she should still
want vengeful. That'll work, That's all I need, alright. So in
mid air there's a there's a shank as Loveling grabs onto her shoulders. Let
call of me. You should understand. Well then, anyone you want to
protect your child, I am protecting my child and you're getting in the way,
bitch, all right, And then the two of them crash into the
nocktiles loose off of a lower roof and are wrestling around on the ground.
All right, Gwen, Okay, well, I guess first I have to
run up and grab to leap down, all right, leap down difficulty five,
or you take some damage when you drop down onto the lower level.
That's the part where the audience like like, yeah, it's her, Yeah,
Captain America getting up with doors hammer, Yeah, iron man moment.
Okay, difficulty five. You're so agile, I know, but you knocked
me down a pet. You've got creaky bones, ruthless, fearsome, sure,
hunter, plumpulent. I think, uh two, I think the second
two. I'm not sure how ruthless. I guess you're after your grandma.
Yeah, all of them are. Okay, so that's after the difficulty.
I hit fourteen. All right, that's a pass. You drop onto the
ground, crushing the tiles under your feet, roll forward, grabbing Grahma Nin's
belt up off of her and looking at all of these liquids, all of
these liquids, none of them labeled, Nana. You have to do it
all by sense field taste, okay, intellect difficulty fourteen Are you fucking kidding
me? Hard? Sorry? Still believe in me xenator. Yes, all
right, I am calling on naturalists, do no harm and once again brave.
All right, so this does absolutely nothing for me. Do I get
all of them? Yep? So that's starting me off at an eleven?
Okay, but that puts me at a negative two. I can't I cannot
beat this. Check on a twelve. Can't you get a twelve? I
guess I have to roll at twelve to beat it. Fuck me, roll
the twelve, roll at twelve, roll at twelve? Yes, what were
you going to say? Now you're concerned? No, I think it's finally
go through with this role. But then it will go it already did you
can't do it? Maybe I can't do it? Bringing the ingredients back up
and we can all help you. Okay? So yeah, I rolled a
six. I fail, but I am going to try to pocket the ingredients
and run away. All right. Well, well, first though, we
need to see what happens with your failed concoction. Roll a percentage check please
sixty three? Okay, so you create some sort of syrup? Are useless
and delicious? Syrup appears in a belch sound in front of you. It's
not maple though, it's like log cabin. Yeah, it's not ground,
but okay, down your turn. Okay, how far away is Nin?
At this point she's still down into your right. Not that far. She's
on like one one drop down like twenty feet or so. Oh not that
far, not that far for our heroes. Yeah, so can I just
take a quick jump down agility difficulty five to not take damage? It's a
little harder because it's slap, it's sloped and there's pass right. Yeah,
I want to. I need to touch Nin. I need to be able
to touch her. What you doing there, honey, I'm just gonna take
over her mind, body, and spirit forever, Noriana. If only there
was something someone could do and you can hear me like, fine, I'll
do it, and you're like, who the fuck is she talking to?
That's weird? Okay, what do you find? You'll do? What?
Huh? Val reaches out and touches touches grammingdon's mind. Please please don't shut
the fuck up. Please please don't woman. This isn't that bad of a
thing. It's fine, please all right. It's you're making this harder fast
the abode of reckoning you're collectively gaining as a group. Right, So uh
make an attack role against Gwen's warning of eleven, sorry, against Ninn's warning
against Nin's warning eleven. But then something something happened? Wait what happened to
her her mighty guardian warning? Did it just drop from eleven down to one?
Because someone possessing her has betrayed her horribly and dropped her warning to a
pittance of a number. So Grandma in mind, all the walls are down
and it's presented like a flower to Valleriana's dominating touch. Everything that is graham
Nin evaporates in her mind, her memories, her will, her thoughts.
Valeriana steals them all away and burns them to ash, and the foundry of
her heart. Brahminin's eyes go white. What do you wish? She says
to her new master. Mix the antidote quickly? She quickly mixes the antidote,
looking at Gwen with the same dispassionate gaze that she looks at everything else.
Uh. Can I hand you the antidote and put Nin in my pocket,
you know, to pick her up? Well, she's she's pretty big,
stuffy. If you guys are anywhere near me at this point, right,
didn't you all fly off the side of the I dive bombs, so
I don't know why they're like twenty feet down to the right. Uh,
you can toss it up to him if you dared, if you dare,
do that with something. So you let him over here, he'll be here
like. Well, actually it's Martin's turns enotour is not going to gain more
reckoning until his turn. Well, I guess in that case, I'm gonna
have you have the antidote right now. Qu right, Well, she's handing
it to whoever he wants it. I have it, toss it here.
What's your focus? My fucks? Five? That gets you? Yep,
that gets you twenty five feet of accurate toss. So's and you need four
to get to you. So tosses it up into Martin's hands. Martin administers
the antidote. Open, Oh, turn around, open open, put your
knees to your chest. Off and and then and and then the soul rot
poison disappears. My god, Okay, we all go home. Now this
has been We have a daughter to say it still right God, and a
king to kill tastes and richly strange given lunch, Grahama Nin's mind burned away,
but something else that was attached to grahamon Nin also burned away. I
don't know why I'm looking at me. It was a beaver some some sort
of like a spirit of a like a woman, but also a little beaver
Gwen's mom. It's called the haunting of light. So out of Grammondon's shadow,
something is like rising up. Now I'm haunted by Gwen's mother, just
for the rest of your life. No big deal. It's mother, so
is she? So the horns on this on this young like boy's head are
sort of disappearing as he rises up out of out of Gwen, out of
a Nin's uh now you know, just now still shadow and uh v like
takes a few steps up Chris's neck a few times. Sister, it's been
so long. I I am so glad to find they see you in the
flesh again. I don't know you. I never looked at it's me,
it's V. You saying it's me it's V doesn't mean anything. I see
we're being a little coy about our previous communic case. I see. Apologies,
your majesty, don't take that tone with me. I'm just happy to
see you finally, using your power. I just did what had to be
done. I didn't want to do it, but did you see how easy
it was? Think of all the problems that you could solve. Now everyone
will do whatever you want all the time forever. It doesn't just have to
be little animals beasts. Humans are animals. Can I make you shut up?
Because I'm over it? I have shipped to do. Get out of
my face. I see you just don't understand how powerful this is. Yeah,
it's horrifying. It is. I'm a monster and I'm gonna become like
a wolf thing like now every definitely made it worse. Whatever you want,
which honestly is fine. I'm just gonna like wolf out of here or what
this is done? Like, I'm a major liability? Reality can be what
was to play with? Just watch grammar nin barn and she sets up step.
What is the rest of us seeing everything? You see this happening in
front of you? So we see this shadow talking as the too Okay,
gremm nin spontaneously combust Jesus Christ. I I'll start putting it out with my
cape. Okay, so you start patting it out like big you know,
chunks of her like have already disappeared into carbon. She doesn't even flinch where
she stands. I'm sorry, this has been really fun. I mean I
almost killed her myself, but I wouldn't have done it like that. That
was a little brutal. Listen, I'll do whatever, like world dominating stuff
you want to do if you help us get our mission figured out. Okay,
I don't care. Down the brakes here, val don't we need a
demon you? Oh? Is this guy introduced himself? Oh? My god?
Well how do you? I don't know. I don't know. I
really don't is he Is he an inside? He's been changing after me too?
For whatever? However many weeks we've been together, did you? Hundreds
of years ago, the Pscythians began to try to craft another who could control
the will of the world, who could manifest their destiny within the minds of
others, take whatever they wanted, as their ancestor had been able to.
I have been crafting Valirianas for years before I was able to finally make one
that had the power. Wait, how many Valerianas have there been? Thirteen?
Lucky thirteen? I don't know them. Well. I reabsorbed their parts
back into you. I broke them down back for resources, nutrients, and
and it wasn't all bad. Wait I wasn't. I was just I wasn't
even born. I was like made out of a pile of goo and nightmares.
Well not goo. I kept most of the parts still cold. Don't
worry, Valeriana. They're still there, girls, and you hear you,
hear what. We're here. We're still here, and you can see parts
of Loriana moving around independently. Instance schizophrenia. Awesome. So it's in my
head or in your body. You're like a giant terratoma made up of multiples
together. Martin sympathetically welcome. You're right, all the stuff that we can
deal with later. What do you want to have happened next? Bargain with
me, shake my hand and I will help you do whatever you need.
What do we need, guys, I don't even know what the cost is.
Yeah, this we need to not go. My cost is that she
returned FORSYTHEA and rule it. Yeah, I can't do that. Sorry,
I'm not sorry. Then your dreams will go unfulfilled. My dreams very clearly,
your dreams, oh val, I don't want to have to make a
fourteenth You're so close to perfect, You're so close to the dark eyed queen.
I dream no, wellie, though, this is the best you could
do with thirteen iterations perfect. You think of nothing but your self, your
pleasure, and your right to be in control of others. Please accept your
destiny and my servitude. That's not true. You know that's not true.
Yeah, you care about us, right, right, So, Gwen,
Gwen has been staring at Nin for a while, this hollow shell that is
Nin, and so you, not anyone else. She's wearing Zenator's robes right
now, right, Notice that as V is speaking, poor little Nin's little
chipmunk mouth is moving just ever so slightly. He's still hooked to her,
He's still anchored to her body. Without her body, he couldn't be here.
A few little tears run down her chipmunk cheeks, squeak. Well,
I don't get to use the spell, and I want her to use on
her then, but I guess I'll do something else's Amanda really wants to use
her bail full transformation, but it turns her, this is written saying,
turning them into a mundane animal. So her body would still exist, it
would be changed, does like him for him to exist, does it need
to be like sentient in a humanoid way or is that the risk I'm gonna
have to have you make a an intellectual check to see if so. What
I want to know is does she need to be Nin for him to remain
like fully Nin, for him to remain attached to her? Because if I
can keep her alive but strip her of what makes her grandma Nin, just
sever her. Yeah. Basically, so, okay, I'm gonna roll an
intellect check to see if I can figure this out or if I know anything
Yep, information at ten, fifteen and twenty Uh, okay, do no
harm inquisitive and naturalist? Yeah, okay, all great, and I rolled
a twelve hey twenty five. Damn. So this demon uses Nin like a
like a puppet cast magic out of her. It uses her brain, it
uses her body. That was why it was so keen on getting Valiriiana to
hollow her out, because now I can just do whatever it wants with her
willless like, without her fighting back at all. If you turned this into
a little animal, he would now be operating with the brain of a little
animal, and it'd certainly weaken him. Yeah, would certainly put a fucking
make a make a bad day for him. Okay, then this is what
I have been working toward doing. So what would be poetic? It has
for it to be permanent. The transformation has to be super poetic, like
perfect. So she's been hollowed out, she's controlled, she's manipulated, she
was clinging. She now it's a mercy. What could possibly work? Nin
I'm sorry, I love you, grandmother. I know you can't hear me.
Just a few tears roll out of her eyes though she doesn't have any
expression. I realize what she's about to do, just in time to take
my cloak off. Okay, val, shake my hand, and I will
help you win the day and all the days that come from here. A
twist of form exchange for sin mayor outsize match you're in? Yes, all
right? You touch her on the forehead, what do you turn her into?
Now you'll see things through my perspective. And she pops into a manatee,
A mundane manatee, flopping, roiling, looking for water, and the
shape of her form twists and changes and swells and becomes gray, and she
slams into the rooftop on her belly and her eyes become big, and she
goes, ah, I see I do. And then v holds perfectly still,
and his jaw starts to undulate left and right like he's chewing God because
his mind is now that of a manatees. He just stands there and starts
to disappear. What happened? Then he just sort of fades away, and
I have to roll my mutation on Gwinn or nin uh. If this is
a tough way for her to go, I hit wild confusion. The target
is muddled for two rounds deep. Okay. So Nin was laying there kind
of with this totally new perspective on as her mortal mind fades away in the
mind of a gentleman and Tee appears, and then suddenly she panics. She
bucks, she flips, her tail flops up, and then the slope of
the butt of the roof catches up with her her weight pulls. She rolls
left and then airborne, plummeting, and she disappears, rushes to the edge,
looks down and sees an enormous gray creature, and for the first time
in her whole clutching life, Gramma Nin is free and weightless, and a
little smile appears on her face just as she disappears into the thorns and splats
on the rocks, flow like worm like a tremor's worm. Uh you're good
or yeah great, I'm great? Oh? Where what shit? Holy shit?
Holy shit? You wrote down the rolls man. The confusion role was
so perfect because then she bucks and is that guy gone now though? I
think? And then the sounds of the battle kind of like careen back into
your ears, and there are more explosions. The open window, like the
broken in window ahead of you like calls, it calls your name. All
right, Okay, we'll unpack that later. We'll unpack that later. Moment.
I've now killing my grandma and my mother. Okay, let's go,
let's go two things. VAL's reckoning goes up fifteen Oh word, Oh what
is it at now? Oh you're short of okay, but you reckoning?
You do get you do get teeth, so your teeth are now long sharp
when you talk, you have like go forward to a little bit like you're
wearing fake teeth or something. So you you lose you, uh, you
lose one persona because just why do I gain a persona for dominating something?
Now it's the teeth. I'm this is just the reckoning track thing. You
gain it by attack, so you have a natural weapon bite attack. If
you want to bite something, you can heal stuff by biting it. You
can heal, you can heal essence by biting mothers their children from you.
And also you now have the light born haunting. What was your daffodil,
wasn't it? Or dandelion your grant? Your mother's name is dandy lion.
So and you aren't paying attention because your your teeth have grown in really sharp.
But one of your hands, without you even realizing it, reaches out
and comfortingly lands on Gwen's shoulder and without and before you look, you could
swear your mother is right behind you, touching you and patting your shoulder.
And you turn and look and it's vow VAL's hand is on your shoulder,
and you realize she doesn't know she's doing it. Oh sorry, sorry,
mother, Sorry personal space. Jeez, mother, mother, Gwen, you're
scaring me. No, it's me. It's foul, God damn it.
Arbor just like grabs her and hugs her. It's all right, it's okay.
Cry into the leaves, crying bows into the house, grinding the house.
I'm gary, I'm drying. Oh fuck, I'll try to hoist her
up as hard as you can, and takes her into the next chamber,
which is a cathedral with stained glass windows everywhere, and in the center of
the room, with a furious, boiling expression, stands the Queen of Spite.
My editor is telling me that I'm supposed to explain how I came back
here, but this isn't my story, and I don't have to explain myself.
I'm a wizard for Criminy's sake. Mm hmm. Grandmother ninian Clute fell.
The demon velsker Off, trapped within her frozen mind, fell with her,
then scattered to astral and umbrel fragments as his vessel shattered. There are
those who love us as only mothers and demons can love us, who see
for us a complete and shining future. They plot this path by midnight firelight
and scout its every twist and turn. They lay this path with hard won
bricks of their blood, and cross gaps with bridges of bone and pain.
They pull themselves apart to pave our way and make it easy. And then
we come along. Take a single passing glance at this path through life that
is their dream for us and wander off into the woods. Only love can
make such a fool as this, For to set someone else's way through life
is truly a mad endeavor, as the world is simply too wide, time
too short, and we all must walk. Those who are carried are dead
inside or out. We are the ones who have to walk the road,
have to live the life charted upon its length. It is love, true
love. They feel the love of parent, for child, master mind,
for manipulated, it is love. Poison love ah love, a potent poison
can be love. Control and care are hand in glove, though you must
fight to find a cure to sting is the scorpion's nature. Still, you
must learn to let them go. They'll sting you dead. They love you,
so thanks for listening to Could Have Been Heroes. Production and editing by
Aaron schoenrock theme song by Bo Hoover and cover art by me Robert Knutson.
Could Have Been Heroes as an entirely independent podcast, so if you like the
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