WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.680 --> 00:00:07.400 This is the two seventeen Recovery Podcast with Corey Winfield. I don't know why 2 00:00:07.400 --> 00:00:10.960 would they sit there and watch this talk in two microphones and look at each 3 00:00:11.000 --> 00:00:15.439 other and look at your faces that you give me sometimes and coal holes Marnie 4 00:00:15.560 --> 00:00:20.160 Winfield. In situations like that, if you take the time to weigh the 5 00:00:20.199 --> 00:00:24.199 pros and cons of your involvement in something, I think this is across the 6 00:00:24.239 --> 00:00:26.960 board with a lot of things in life. You know, doesn't make sense 7 00:00:27.039 --> 00:00:37.840 for me in my world. It is the nineteen the morning of the nineteen 8 00:00:38.399 --> 00:00:43.640 Yeah, July. Thanks for the help there. Yeah, it's July nineteenth, 9 00:00:43.640 --> 00:00:46.359 twenty three. My name is Cory Winfield. My name is Marty Winfield. 10 00:00:46.439 --> 00:00:53.079 Welcome to seventeen Recovery podcast. Kind of early sort of apparently the best 11 00:00:53.079 --> 00:00:58.200 part of waking up isn't talking for me, I guess so. Yeah, 12 00:00:58.240 --> 00:01:03.039 but we're here, and we were talking in bed, and we were going 13 00:01:03.079 --> 00:01:04.920 through like where we were and what we did and how we got to where 14 00:01:04.920 --> 00:01:10.040 we were, and you know, our stories are similar but so different in 15 00:01:10.120 --> 00:01:17.200 the way we did things. At the end and for you it was it 16 00:01:17.280 --> 00:01:22.560 was coming back not I mean familiar place, but it's not the place you 17 00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:25.599 grew up, right, you know, but living with you know, your 18 00:01:25.599 --> 00:01:30.680 mother, and taking a job that didn't pay much. But it wasn't a 19 00:01:30.719 --> 00:01:34.400 bar, you know, you weren't bartending, you weren't waitressing, you weren't 20 00:01:34.400 --> 00:01:37.879 doing anything like that. And you know, to take a job that at 21 00:01:37.879 --> 00:01:42.079 the time it was the weekend overnights, you know, something like that at 22 00:01:42.120 --> 00:01:47.439 the treatment center and where you work now and where you have moved up. 23 00:01:48.439 --> 00:01:53.799 And at the time, though it's hard for people to go, I don't 24 00:01:53.840 --> 00:01:59.359 want to take that job doesn't pay enough, you know, it's it's you 25 00:01:59.400 --> 00:02:01.959 gotta do what you don't want to do. Sometimes I said a lot no, 26 00:02:02.159 --> 00:02:05.680 But for you though, you kind of wanted to do that. You 27 00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:12.599 had gone to school for social work, which I'd already started my master's in 28 00:02:12.639 --> 00:02:17.520 social work. My undergrad was in um audiology and speech sciences and minor in 29 00:02:17.599 --> 00:02:25.879 psychology, so I had a bachelor's degree. But you know, but the 30 00:02:25.879 --> 00:02:30.599 thing is is so our cute, little our pillow talk is probably a lot 31 00:02:30.639 --> 00:02:38.280 different than most people in terms of like what we talk about. But no, 32 00:02:38.599 --> 00:02:44.000 but um no, it was about really thinking about the my priorities at 33 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:46.319 the time, and I had you know, had made the decision. And 34 00:02:46.319 --> 00:02:50.560 I talked about this when I talked about my story, is that it was 35 00:02:50.599 --> 00:02:53.560 me, me choosing to go to treatment for me, and it was no 36 00:02:53.639 --> 00:02:59.680 outside influence other than my internal desire to like figure out what the crap was 37 00:02:59.719 --> 00:03:04.719 going on with me and why I kept I couldn't get I couldn't put down 38 00:03:04.759 --> 00:03:08.039 the bottle, you know, And so I had put all that work into 39 00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:13.840 it, and I had, you know, had this investment and in myself, 40 00:03:14.159 --> 00:03:15.400 and I was like, what does this look like for me to keep 41 00:03:15.439 --> 00:03:20.560 this going? Because so many times I had gone and gone and I may 42 00:03:20.560 --> 00:03:24.280 have had like the spark of inspiration and like the possibility of sobriety was like 43 00:03:25.080 --> 00:03:30.199 there, but I never really followed through with all the stuff they tell you 44 00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:36.199 to do after and um and there's a lot of stuff and I didn't do 45 00:03:36.240 --> 00:03:40.080 all of it. But I knew I needed to keep that motivation going by 46 00:03:40.599 --> 00:03:44.919 continuing to invest in myself. And what did that look like for me? 47 00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:50.439 And so when it came to the job situation, I don't know. I 48 00:03:50.560 --> 00:03:53.479 had. I have a ton of experience serving I've served you know, anywhere 49 00:03:53.560 --> 00:03:59.919 from hole in the wall, bars uh to forced our restaurants. And I've 50 00:04:00.039 --> 00:04:02.120 made a lot of money, you know, being in the service industry. 51 00:04:02.919 --> 00:04:06.319 But I'm going to tell you right now, and please don't be offended. 52 00:04:06.360 --> 00:04:10.680 For those of you that are on the service industry, it's a culture that 53 00:04:10.879 --> 00:04:15.519 really caters to drinking and drugs. And I mean, in my experience, 54 00:04:15.839 --> 00:04:20.639 I'm sure definitely not all. But it's just for me. You know, 55 00:04:20.639 --> 00:04:25.480 I don't think you offended anybody. I think they know. And yeah, 56 00:04:24.560 --> 00:04:29.639 and so I knew what I knew what I couldn't do. I knew where 57 00:04:29.639 --> 00:04:31.439 I couldn't work, even if it was a place that didn't serve alcohol, 58 00:04:31.560 --> 00:04:35.839 which that does help. But I just knew I needed to change things up 59 00:04:35.959 --> 00:04:40.399 and I needed to keep my focus on my recovery and what did that look 60 00:04:40.439 --> 00:04:46.360 like? And you know, there was an opportunity for me too. And 61 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:48.240 it wasn't even like I was took the job like I'm going to get my 62 00:04:48.279 --> 00:04:51.560 foot in the door and then I'm going to like grow within this company. 63 00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:57.319 I was just like, what's a safe job for me right now? Like 64 00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:01.480 for right now, what's a job where I know that when I go in, 65 00:05:01.959 --> 00:05:04.959 I'm not going to have any sort of fear of having a drink put 66 00:05:04.959 --> 00:05:09.560 in front of me, and I'm not gonna you know, if I hear 67 00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:14.000 anything about alcohol or drugs, it's about staying away from alcohol drugs. It 68 00:05:14.120 --> 00:05:19.480 was very simple, very elementary, very kind of cut and dry reasons behind 69 00:05:19.560 --> 00:05:24.720 why I chose to take an entry level position where all you really needed was 70 00:05:25.680 --> 00:05:30.720 a GED and that's finding good. You can get great jobs with a GED 71 00:05:30.879 --> 00:05:35.360 and having that education is great. But that's where I was at. And 72 00:05:35.399 --> 00:05:40.439 I was just like I and I did the get through today, like I 73 00:05:40.480 --> 00:05:42.879 just need to get through today? What is I need? To keep things 74 00:05:42.920 --> 00:05:47.160 freaking simple? And you know, I was lucky enough, and I shared 75 00:05:47.160 --> 00:05:50.480 this with you this morning. I was lucky enough to have the support of 76 00:05:50.519 --> 00:05:56.720 my mom, who welcomed me back into her home after a very serious conversation 77 00:05:56.759 --> 00:06:02.759 about what expectations were because I had made promises many a time about my behaviors 78 00:06:02.759 --> 00:06:09.240 while I was living under her roof, which I did not abide by for 79 00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:12.720 you know, multiple times. So she was taking a chance on me again, 80 00:06:15.279 --> 00:06:18.040 you know, and it got and then after a minute, and I 81 00:06:18.120 --> 00:06:23.279 had chosen this job, she felt comfortable enough to let me use her vehicle 82 00:06:24.240 --> 00:06:30.519 to get to that job, and I literally was kind of on autopilot, 83 00:06:30.839 --> 00:06:35.399 like I went to work. I helped her with, you know, simple 84 00:06:35.480 --> 00:06:43.360 jobs around her home. I really had a very very small circle of people 85 00:06:43.399 --> 00:06:47.000 that I interacted with, and it was essentially my mom, my, stepdad, 86 00:06:47.040 --> 00:06:56.600 Woody, and her friends and then meetings in Sutton's Bay and came to 87 00:06:56.600 --> 00:07:00.639 Traverse City for some meeting sometimes. But I kept myself busy. I did. 88 00:07:00.920 --> 00:07:03.120 I started baking and stuff for her, and I was responsible for like 89 00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:08.560 making meals and you know, helped around best I could to kind of earn 90 00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:14.279 my keep. There one thing that you you said, I'm going to back 91 00:07:14.319 --> 00:07:19.319 it up to the industry, and you're like, oh, sorry if I 92 00:07:19.319 --> 00:07:23.000 don't. No people know, people that are working in the service industry they 93 00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:26.839 know and some people I think, and you probably did this a time or 94 00:07:26.839 --> 00:07:30.439 two. Oh I'm strong enough. I can work there and just not drink 95 00:07:30.439 --> 00:07:31.680 because yeah, I remember what Alcoll did to me. So I'm yeah, 96 00:07:31.720 --> 00:07:35.680 I'm just not. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine serving people like her 97 00:07:35.720 --> 00:07:39.800 all day. I'm cool with that until the day you're not. You know, 98 00:07:39.920 --> 00:07:42.720 and maybe there are some people that can do that, sure, but 99 00:07:42.839 --> 00:07:45.519 it's it's a risk that you take, and is it worth it, you 100 00:07:45.519 --> 00:07:47.160 know, at the end of the day, like, oh, I'm gonna 101 00:07:47.199 --> 00:07:51.519 make eighty dollars more a week if I work here, but there's a seventy 102 00:07:51.560 --> 00:07:57.240 percent chance that I will go back out very soon or within six months. 103 00:07:57.600 --> 00:08:00.480 Is it worth it? Right? I don't know, So they have to 104 00:08:00.560 --> 00:08:01.720 kind of weigh that out. And then you said you were talking about your 105 00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:05.920 mom letting you use your car her car, and it's it's not the fact 106 00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:09.360 that you're a bad driver. It's just that she knows and she has seen 107 00:08:09.399 --> 00:08:15.120 it. It takes that in your off you could have bad day at work, 108 00:08:15.199 --> 00:08:16.959 driving home, you know what, I'm gonna hit the liquor store. 109 00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:20.560 And I mean, so it's not just a hey, here's the keys, 110 00:08:20.560 --> 00:08:22.160 you know, Oh, Marnie, she's a bad right, No, it's 111 00:08:22.199 --> 00:08:24.720 not that, you know, there's more into it for people listening and they're 112 00:08:24.759 --> 00:08:28.879 thinking like, oh, well, why would she worry about Well, it's 113 00:08:28.959 --> 00:08:33.000 because like they can turn on a dime and it's not even like, oh, 114 00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:35.679 this is a possibility that this could happen, which that is true, 115 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:41.720 but literally she was going on experience like that hat like she sparrowed my car 116 00:08:41.759 --> 00:08:45.919 and said she was going to a meeting, and like disappeared for what would 117 00:08:45.919 --> 00:08:48.600 have been the amount of time for a meeting. She doesn't know that I 118 00:08:48.639 --> 00:08:52.960 didn't go there, and you know, came home and had you know, 119 00:08:52.080 --> 00:08:56.120 booze and went straight to my room and was like, and I have a 120 00:08:56.159 --> 00:08:58.480 good night. And then you know, that was all put together after the 121 00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:01.679 facts, so she knows, she knows, and I can and I came 122 00:09:01.679 --> 00:09:05.840 out about all of that and it was like, you don't have any reason 123 00:09:05.879 --> 00:09:11.960 to trust me, but I'm telling you, I'm asking me too, and 124 00:09:11.600 --> 00:09:16.399 you know, and that this was my hail Mary for sure, with with 125 00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:20.080 her and living in her home. But you know, she had been like 126 00:09:20.080 --> 00:09:22.960 are you coming back from treatment? Like when are you planning on discharging? 127 00:09:24.039 --> 00:09:26.519 I'm like, I don't know yet. I'm sticking it out until I feel 128 00:09:26.519 --> 00:09:31.399 like it's time for me to go, you know. So, um, 129 00:09:33.720 --> 00:09:37.639 she saw the effort that I was putting in. It's just it's I had 130 00:09:37.720 --> 00:09:43.080 to keep that motivation. I had to keep that momentum going for it to 131 00:09:43.120 --> 00:09:46.080 be successful, you know, And I still to this day, I need 132 00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:52.279 to keep the momentum going. It just looks different. It's all but it's 133 00:09:54.120 --> 00:09:58.279 it's amazing and it's kind of funny. How are the conversation in the bedroom 134 00:10:00.039 --> 00:10:03.960 that started? We were playing wordle and today's word which I'm not gonna say, 135 00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:09.759 but it's a band name. And that's also something that you I think 136 00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:11.759 probably you did. I did maybe a few times. You mix it with 137 00:10:11.799 --> 00:10:16.960 a certain kind of drink or something. And then I said, hey, 138 00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:18.480 honey, I'm gonna give you a hint, and I started playing a song. 139 00:10:20.120 --> 00:10:24.240 If you kild on this, see you're like, yeah, I've heard 140 00:10:24.279 --> 00:10:26.440 that song. I don't know who that is. And then you got it. 141 00:10:26.519 --> 00:10:28.240 And then you were like, oh, why didn't you just say blank 142 00:10:28.279 --> 00:10:31.679 and blank? Then I would have really got it. And that's how we 143 00:10:31.759 --> 00:10:35.759 kind of started our conversation this morning. And we just were like, man, 144 00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:39.679 and of course we're very thankful and you know that we met each other 145 00:10:39.960 --> 00:10:45.360 and that is a huge piece. But we both got tired of settling. 146 00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:50.399 We got tired of just and I'm not going to call xes like trash because 147 00:10:50.679 --> 00:10:54.919 my exes really weren't. There's a couple okay that probably were, but like 148 00:10:54.000 --> 00:11:00.159 it wasn't like some of your situations, which were just horrible. Um, 149 00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:05.720 but to stop settling, you know, and if I if I saw something 150 00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:07.320 I didn't like, I didn't I didn't have to just run down that road 151 00:11:07.320 --> 00:11:11.960 because oh someone says my eyes are pretty, you know, or anything like 152 00:11:13.000 --> 00:11:15.799 that. And so I was like, hell bent, I'm not settling, 153 00:11:15.919 --> 00:11:20.360 Like I wanted to find someone who loved me like I love them, and 154 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:24.840 you know, that was kind of huge. And you know, to fall 155 00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:30.120 for the wrong person sometimes you know, we'll really trip you up. And 156 00:11:30.480 --> 00:11:33.720 that's why they tell people early on old stale relationships, but you never really 157 00:11:33.720 --> 00:11:35.960 know, right, you know, if you don't listen, we wouldn't be 158 00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:45.000 together. That's very true mist away from from like un thought through relationships like 159 00:11:45.600 --> 00:11:52.799 the quick fix kind of like I'm just gonna dat somebody for the pure fact 160 00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:56.600 of of dating somebody, or you know, you have to be selective and 161 00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:01.240 careful and protective of your recovery. That needs to be your number one, 162 00:12:01.799 --> 00:12:07.200 you know, so so just be careful with all that. And the way 163 00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:11.240 I did it was was like I said, totally different, Um, you 164 00:12:11.240 --> 00:12:15.480 cool. I don't think that place she went to treatment last time, they 165 00:12:15.480 --> 00:12:18.000 didn't have outpatient at the time. I don't think so obla. So it's 166 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:22.000 not like you could continue of course you did you continue back in Traverse City 167 00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:28.240 like outpatient or anything like that. Mmm, that's a good question. No, 168 00:12:28.480 --> 00:12:31.440 I didn't because you couldn't because you were couldn't because I was working for 169 00:12:31.559 --> 00:12:41.320 them. Um, No, I had not. My aftercare plan was was? 170 00:12:41.399 --> 00:12:45.519 I think I was just I think I might have like had the number 171 00:12:45.600 --> 00:12:48.919 for like Catholic Human Services or something that I was going to follow through with. 172 00:12:48.559 --> 00:12:52.720 But then, um, you know, I was just I got kind 173 00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:58.360 of engrossed in like the going to meetings and then just working at the treatment 174 00:12:58.440 --> 00:13:05.279 center and staying busy with you know, healthy activities with my family. So 175 00:13:05.559 --> 00:13:07.960 that was my program. And you learn that from other times. I'm sure. 176 00:13:09.279 --> 00:13:11.279 Yeah, I tried outpatient. I've done outpatient so many times. And 177 00:13:11.639 --> 00:13:16.360 this is why that's why I don't. I don't look at people that say 178 00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:20.360 I've you know, I've tried that, it doesn't work or whatever. It's 179 00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:24.639 like, it's not the program, right, it's not the freaking program. 180 00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:28.080 Man. Like I get I hear what you're saying, and I get that 181 00:13:28.159 --> 00:13:33.000 the materials that they cover, like let's talk about relapse prevention let's talk about 182 00:13:33.039 --> 00:13:35.720 life skills. Like, but when you heard those words, when you were 183 00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:41.919 listening to those those that those materials, were you processing that information with a 184 00:13:41.960 --> 00:13:45.480 brain of somebody that wants to go out into the world and stay sober? 185 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:50.120 You know? Like I know I wasn't, But how much of it that 186 00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:56.519 you know, I was learning and hearing because like you trying to break a 187 00:13:56.879 --> 00:14:05.399 world record for outpatient meetings and stuff and appointments and groups. So I don't 188 00:14:05.399 --> 00:14:09.960 know if I was listening at the time, but I heard it. That 189 00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:13.320 makes sense. Like there's a lot of things and a lot of conversations I 190 00:14:13.360 --> 00:14:18.320 had with people along the way that at the time I wasn't ready to hear 191 00:14:18.360 --> 00:14:22.840 it or listen or whatever. But when I finally would start adding those pieces 192 00:14:22.879 --> 00:14:26.440 up. And that's why I like when I talk to people today, I 193 00:14:26.440 --> 00:14:28.360 don't expect them all to get it, but in three years, two years, 194 00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:31.320 six months, if they could think back, oh man, maybe I 195 00:14:31.320 --> 00:14:37.600 should do it like that. Yeah, I think that you're right. And 196 00:14:37.879 --> 00:14:41.840 I've also been the facilitator of groups where I'm looking around the room and you 197 00:14:41.879 --> 00:14:46.759 probably can can speak to this where you're speaking to a group of people and 198 00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:52.120 you almost like can look amongst them and be like, this person has no 199 00:14:52.159 --> 00:14:56.120 intentions whatsoever. I'm following through with anything that we're talking about. You know, 200 00:14:56.200 --> 00:14:58.720 it's I don't know if it's like an aura or if it's like a 201 00:15:00.200 --> 00:15:05.120 you know, their body language, you know, or whatever it is. 202 00:15:05.360 --> 00:15:09.360 But it's just like and then there's people and like the when you leave, 203 00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:13.240 when you leave treatment is when the real challenge starts. You know. We 204 00:15:13.320 --> 00:15:18.840 know people that have gone through treatment one time and they get out there and 205 00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:22.759 then they just kill it. They're doing great, you know, and other 206 00:15:22.799 --> 00:15:26.639 people keep going and going and going, and they'll walk out the doors of 207 00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:33.080 the facility and right walk straight to the liquor store. Yeah, it happens 208 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:37.919 both ways. Just because you have a Wednesday at two outpatient meeting, it's 209 00:15:37.919 --> 00:15:43.080 not going to keep you sober, right. You know, there's there's that 210 00:15:43.159 --> 00:15:46.799 want you gotta want it. There's that you gotta have that desire. I 211 00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:50.159 was sorry to a guy yesterday. He came to the office. He was 212 00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:52.639 there for the Dharma meeting, and he walked in. He's like, what's 213 00:15:52.720 --> 00:15:54.440 up, Corey's been a minute, you know. I was like, hey, 214 00:15:54.519 --> 00:15:56.840 dude, what's up? And he was telling me, you know, 215 00:15:56.879 --> 00:16:00.000 he got a job and he's doing construction. He's doing great. And he 216 00:16:00.559 --> 00:16:03.600 started telling me his plans, you know, and he's like, this is 217 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:07.279 what I want to do. And you know, I love doing construction, 218 00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:10.840 about building things, love being outside. Like he's like, this is great. 219 00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:12.799 And you know, I got a car already, I'm gonna get a 220 00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:18.320 house and blah blah blah. And he had goals and you know, and 221 00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:22.360 he was talking about the cherry fast and his family wanting to come around and 222 00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:26.519 you know, him to go back out with him, and he's like now. 223 00:16:26.600 --> 00:16:30.519 He said his cousin was over the next day or something and he was 224 00:16:30.559 --> 00:16:33.159 like dry heathen because he was like hung over, and he's like, man, 225 00:16:33.320 --> 00:16:36.159 he's like, that's why I'm not doing that, you know. And 226 00:16:36.200 --> 00:16:38.600 then he said his girlfriend was kind of getting messed up too, and he's 227 00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:42.039 like, why are you gonna drink? You know, But hopefully he can 228 00:16:42.080 --> 00:16:45.320 figure out that you can't change other people. And you know, it's the 229 00:16:45.320 --> 00:16:48.879 people that you do hang around. Like, nobody likes being around drunks, 230 00:16:49.440 --> 00:16:52.639 especially if you're sober and you're hanging around a drunk guy or drunk girl. 231 00:16:55.600 --> 00:17:02.960 It's a beating it like sucks life out of you. So it does, 232 00:17:03.159 --> 00:17:07.920 and he's going to realize that. I would hope and and hopefully he's on 233 00:17:07.960 --> 00:17:10.480 the right path, but just to see that desire that he has in it. 234 00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:12.480 And I asked him aout outpatient, He's like, oh, no, 235 00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:15.319 I've been done with that. You know, Like I don't know if there's 236 00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:19.559 a set program that people complete or what, but he just said they had 237 00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:23.880 to go to work and you know, get get his get rolling on on 238 00:17:23.960 --> 00:17:27.240 his desires and dreams. And you know, if if you're holding back from 239 00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:30.400 starting something because you gotta go to a meeting once a week or something, 240 00:17:30.440 --> 00:17:33.880 I don't know, you know, you have to kind of wait, what's 241 00:17:33.119 --> 00:17:37.400 what's best for you? And you're you're not gonna be clean by going to 242 00:17:37.839 --> 00:17:44.319 like an outpatient meeting, but you're not going to be sober by not I 243 00:17:44.319 --> 00:17:49.680 don't know, it makes sense. It's it's what you put in your programs, 244 00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:52.160 what you put in your life. If you're going to this stupid meeting 245 00:17:52.359 --> 00:17:57.400 as some people call it, and you're just sitting there looking outside la la 246 00:17:57.480 --> 00:18:00.480 la, playing on your phone, I'm even given a ship. Why are 247 00:18:00.480 --> 00:18:03.160 you there? Well, because they say, have to be here, it's 248 00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:07.279 part of the program. Why don't you work it? Bro You know, 249 00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:11.920 someone was saying that to see'd listen to a like sober living house or something. 250 00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:14.759 He's like, yeah, some of the guys, man, there's a 251 00:18:14.839 --> 00:18:18.119 bitching about how many meetings they gotta go to and they say they hate going 252 00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:18.960 to meetings. And I'm like, well, that's not a good sign. 253 00:18:21.480 --> 00:18:25.400 And I used to be like that, not want to go to meetings, 254 00:18:26.039 --> 00:18:30.440 but then when I got to sober living, I wanted to go to meetings. 255 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:32.880 You know. I wanted to get out there, and I wanted to 256 00:18:32.920 --> 00:18:34.400 have fun at the meetings, and I wanted to say silly things, and 257 00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:38.279 I wanted to have conversations with the guys that were going to meetings with me. 258 00:18:38.279 --> 00:18:41.559 And that was the beauty of sober living, as I got to be 259 00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:45.400 around other people and we got to talk and reflect, and a lot of 260 00:18:45.400 --> 00:18:48.680 those people didn't stay sober, but I did. You know, again, 261 00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:52.160 I used it for what I needed, you know, I went to those 262 00:18:52.200 --> 00:18:53.200 meetings news it for what I needed, you know. For the people that 263 00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:56.359 are like, oh, I don't go to a or an a or anything 264 00:18:56.400 --> 00:18:59.759 like that, I don't do that. Why why it's a chance for you 265 00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:03.519 to get some shit off your chest. I didn't work the stops. I 266 00:19:03.559 --> 00:19:06.680 mean I did at one point, but that wasn't my program. But what 267 00:19:06.799 --> 00:19:10.400 my program was was being around other people that are like me. And that's 268 00:19:10.440 --> 00:19:12.880 what really made the difference. And you know, that's what's so great about 269 00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:17.720 the Recovery Center. We have a two seventeen recovery. It's that people can 270 00:19:17.720 --> 00:19:19.920 come in. There's multiple, multiple pathways that they can do. You know, 271 00:19:19.960 --> 00:19:26.079 there's dharma and living in recovery. There's Recovery Dads, which I think 272 00:19:26.279 --> 00:19:30.920 is a pretty awesome group. He's made a couple of T shirts yesterday for 273 00:19:30.920 --> 00:19:34.039 for Adam. Adam made his own. Yeah, yeah, and I think 274 00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:38.279 I made him mad. Why Well, because Adam's like a little buff dude, 275 00:19:38.279 --> 00:19:41.920 you know, and he's got but he put it like way up by 276 00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:45.200 the neck the logo, and I guess that's what he was going for. 277 00:19:45.519 --> 00:19:48.480 Well that's his shirt though, But then Tyrone came in and it was like 278 00:19:51.160 --> 00:19:52.559 you said that, He's like, maybe you should just put that just a 279 00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:56.480 little bit lower. He was. He was like Tyrone's thirty ironed on. 280 00:19:56.640 --> 00:20:00.640 So yeah, we can't do anything about that it is, but I was 281 00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:03.519 like, nope, so I would like it, but the logo is cool. 282 00:20:03.640 --> 00:20:04.599 And I was talking to him and Justin I was like, look, 283 00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:08.160 yeah, has to start your own Facebook pages, you know, and promote 284 00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:12.599 it, you know, promote your meeting and you know, get people to 285 00:20:12.640 --> 00:20:17.400 come. And hell, everybody that comes to your meetings on zoom soun of 286 00:20:17.480 --> 00:20:22.279 a T shirt, you know, why not not a big deal. And 287 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:26.759 we're trying to start an art group anyway. And I mean, there's so 288 00:20:26.759 --> 00:20:30.039 many different things. Podcasting is an art, is taking pictures, art, 289 00:20:30.599 --> 00:20:37.119 video art. It's all art, making shirts, art, painting things, 290 00:20:37.319 --> 00:20:42.839 art, beads not those kind of beads talking about like beads for like there's 291 00:20:42.839 --> 00:20:49.519 somebody listening thinking something dirty but probably not probably now, probably now, but 292 00:20:49.599 --> 00:20:52.200 no, like you can make a little necklaces and bracelets something like that. 293 00:20:52.279 --> 00:20:56.079 But there's there's so many different things that we could do. Um, making 294 00:20:56.079 --> 00:21:02.359 Papa airplanes is art. You know, how have a crocheting class, we 295 00:21:02.440 --> 00:21:07.799 could there's like so many people that pick that up. Dan males and females, 296 00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:11.200 remember Dan. Yeah. Yeah, there's a couple of people that are 297 00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:15.440 in recovery housing and I'm like, dude, they're like making me hats and 298 00:21:15.720 --> 00:21:18.559 like blankets and stuff. Like one of the girls was like, oh, 299 00:21:18.680 --> 00:21:22.480 I just I'm just gonna leave this blanket here for people that come. I'm 300 00:21:22.519 --> 00:21:26.880 like, you just rocked out a just a big, huge crochet blanket. 301 00:21:27.559 --> 00:21:32.200 Yeah. I just thought I have a great idea too for recovery Dad's meeting. 302 00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:34.680 Okay, and I'm gonna suggest it to Adam, but I'll just say 303 00:21:34.720 --> 00:21:40.680 it's going to happen someday kind of the boss guy. Okay, but what 304 00:21:40.799 --> 00:21:45.359 if they started, like what with on Sunday they watch videos on how to 305 00:21:45.400 --> 00:21:51.519 make like dinosaurs or something with paper mache or something like crafty crafts, maybe 306 00:21:51.559 --> 00:21:55.440 princesses or how to draw a dinosaur, like something that they could do with 307 00:21:56.680 --> 00:21:59.240 their kids. You know. Yeah, because Adam has a little daughter, 308 00:21:59.359 --> 00:22:02.279 Like what would she like that Daddy could just fold into a here's a ring, 309 00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:07.000 Like kids love that stuff, you know. But that just stuff like 310 00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:11.519 that, the stuff that people don't really think about that could really change the 311 00:22:11.559 --> 00:22:14.000 game for you and how you feel with your with your kid, you know, 312 00:22:14.039 --> 00:22:17.119 if you but they can share things that they know how to do and 313 00:22:17.160 --> 00:22:19.400 that their kids love with the other people on group. Yeah, that's that's 314 00:22:19.440 --> 00:22:23.960 the beauty of that. And if a woman shows up, we're not they're 315 00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:27.000 not gonna make you leave. Oh, absolutely out there. No, no, 316 00:22:27.000 --> 00:22:30.240 no, it's not like a men's only meeting. It's just recovery dads. 317 00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:33.519 And it might sound weird, but we're not gonna make anybody. Well, 318 00:22:33.519 --> 00:22:37.440 there's one person I would not come into the place, but there's that's 319 00:22:37.480 --> 00:22:41.559 besides the point. But that's not you trust me. Um. Yeah, 320 00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:44.680 you can show up to any meeting and no one's gonna say, hey, 321 00:22:44.759 --> 00:22:47.119 get out of here. This is that only that only you know, unless 322 00:22:47.119 --> 00:22:51.559 it says women's only. If it's called women's only meeting, probably not, 323 00:22:51.720 --> 00:22:56.119 or if it's called men's only meeting. Probably. I've been to women's meetings 324 00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:59.640 where dudes have strolled in and they throw them right out. No. Actually, 325 00:22:59.640 --> 00:23:00.759 the ones that I was had, they never heard of that. It 326 00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:04.440 must have been falling. No, they were just like, no, you're 327 00:23:04.440 --> 00:23:08.000 won't get what I'm saying. You're welcome to join today, just just so 328 00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:12.039 you know, for the future, it's women's only. But yeah, I 329 00:23:12.079 --> 00:23:17.359 got the It was in Charlotte. Boy, it was like a movie. 330 00:23:17.839 --> 00:23:21.200 You opened the door and there was like church, all the heads turning, 331 00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:25.359 probably because you showed up fifteen minutes late, had nothing to do with the 332 00:23:25.359 --> 00:23:27.920 fact you were a mail It was two minutes late or on time. It's 333 00:23:27.960 --> 00:23:33.039 not call it. And yeah, they're like, ah, this is women's 334 00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:34.559 only meeting. Get out of here. And I was like, okay, 335 00:23:34.640 --> 00:23:38.359 and everybody else that I've ever talked to that have walked into a women's meeting, 336 00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:41.400 we're told to leave immediately. So that's just I mean, that dude 337 00:23:41.480 --> 00:23:48.160 must have been hot. Ye dude, nothing wrong with old dudes, but 338 00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:56.559 whoa man? Okay, well, Martie's into old dudes and we gotta go. 339 00:23:56.000 --> 00:24:00.480 I hate to wrap it up on that one son trail. If you're 340 00:24:00.519 --> 00:24:04.160 over seventy, Marnie at two seventeen recovery dot com she is married, because 341 00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:08.480 if you got money, that's what sucks. You know what I'm saying terrible, 342 00:24:08.599 --> 00:24:11.240 I know, y my moments. Talk to you later. All right, 343 00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:15.440 bye, everybody, have a great day. Thanks for listening to another 344 00:24:15.640 --> 00:24:22.079 episode of the two seventeen Recovery podcast. Listen on the two seventeen Recovery app. 345 00:24:22.279 --> 00:24:23.960 Download the app and read us in your app store.