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Welcome to soft core history. But
yeah, we got a clap. We

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don't have to clap. Come on, just for its our pregame Rachel three

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two one. God damn, that's
so good. Welcome into softcore History.

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I'm your host, Dan Rogester.
And that was a perfect clap. And

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I've joined as always with Jay Goldman. Hi. Um, I believe John

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F. Kennedy actually caught the perfect
clap for Marilyn Monroe. That ass that

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ass, No, it was,
it was the actual clap. It was

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Chamidian. I thought you met the
bullet. Oh shit, there's so many.

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This is such a deep joke.
Yeah, well that was. I

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mean, that was a good shot. That other voice, of course that

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you hear is Rob Fox. Hello. But she didn't really have cheeks either,

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Nah, she was, she was
old. She did. She was

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like she had an ass. First
the ass fell off. She didn't do

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squats. No one did squats back
then. No, there was all baseball

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players smoked cigarettes and lifted like literal
barbells like cartoon barbells. Took greenies.

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But now, I was even before
greenies. Cigarettes were their uppers. Back

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then. That's why everyone hates like
Joe DiMaggio yeah, no one had,

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and Marilyn Monroe was there downer.
Well, he did visit her grave every

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day after she died. That's how
good she was. Yeah, so why

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don't you not question that? Ass? Damn? It sounds like she was

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more of an upper than a downer
swing swing swing. Yeah, and we

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actually have a guest today. Who
is this guess, this wonderful lady mystery.

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Would you describe her the way you
just describe Marilyn Monroe? Would you

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give her a body rundown the way
he just did Marilyn Monroe? Uh,

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you know it's pretty thin. Oh
my god, we don't need all that

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decent rack. Daniel could do more. Doesn't her dad listen to you?

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She said, her dad listens to
this podcast. Fucking psycho. Sorry,

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mister Fuller. Yeah, this is
my girlfriend, Kylie. Oh Jesus Christ,

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what's up? Go ahead and talking
to the microphone. You professional for

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me one time? Kylie is if
you haven't realized yet, the gamest of

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game, girlfriends like the most.
Oh, I mean she's ride or die.

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She started ditting me when I was
up definitely unemployed. Yeah, I

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can say pretty much dead to society. I mean it's a solid investment.

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You're getting bitcoin at zero? Yes, with that kind of Yeah, everything's

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a bit in your life at this
point. Yeah, it's true. You're

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supposed to do stand up. I've
never seen her do it. Covid.

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Oh, I'm gonna gonna go this. COVID did it. That's why I

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can't get my life pregnant. COVID. My penis does work, Covid.

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It's a good excuse. It is. How can I bring a child into

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this world? How can I bring
jokes into this world? There's no time

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for jokes. It's dying. Yeah, there's nothing funny right now. She

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doesn't want to do a set in
front of a zoom. Oh fuck that,

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dude. Well I don't let that. No, Just people are still

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I mean, go outside, man, do a Chapelle show. Yeah,

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people are doing outside, Mike.
There's a bunch there is. Yeah.

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I actually are one of our producers, Georgio, that we work with.

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He runs in open like night at
Whiskey Tango. Oh for real? Yeah,

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so you gotta get in on that, dude, Yeah y'all, Yeah

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for sure. Yeah, let's do
at a place called what the fuck.

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I'll wear a mask so you can't
tell ye, I'll wear a mask so

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you can't tell when I don't laugh. Cool. I don't care if you

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laugh. Actually literally everyone I do. Actually, you know what, I

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would care because you're not a comic. The only laughs I care about are

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not the comics labs, comic las. Yeah. No, you don't want

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laughs from the comedians. They laugh
at the dumbist nothing. Well we talk

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about in the comedian like comedians talking
about comedy. Oh oh, you want

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to puke. It's like a it's
not even a circle jerk. It's like

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everyone lays down on the floor and
Robert and Leggings, Yeah, are like

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sixteen. I mean, like,
we write comedy, but I'm not a

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stand up. Yeah, I don't
understand up. Yeah, that's that type

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of thing. No, but like, yeah, the last thing you want

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to do is have only the comics
laugh at your set or try to write

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to make the comics. That's even
worse. That's the worst part of all

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because then you just have disdain for
your audience. Yeah, Like you just

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like are literally like you don't think
of your audience as people, and you're

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just like, I'm looking like me
and the other people that get on the

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stage. You're gonna laugh at like
the little bitches off, like the little

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just like worthless humans off the stage. Yeah, like you can't even get

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the cerebral masturbition joke. Yeah,
you're not me, man, You're not

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up here. Yeah. Yeah,
anyway, it's my penis. So go

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ahead, Kylie, tell us a
joke. Oh my god, So I

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met this guy Dan our relationships a
joke. I know, shit, you're

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hot about me today because we're actually
covering a topic that's like near and dear

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to my heart because I love Vikings. I think, boy howdy, we've

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talked about this before, but I
think I don't maybe know anyone other than

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the new guy we work with,
dan Uh, the other dan Uh well

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to this podcast, the other dan
Um in our realm now where we work

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on the other day. Yeah,
he's but yeah, you what I'm trying

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to say is that I've met very
few people who would like society to collapse

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to just see how they do more
than you, Because I think you're fairly

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confident, probably in the same way
when you were in eighth grade, that

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you could start varsity quarterback or something
like that. Like you're confident in our

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quarterback that you're confident now that you
could be Greek up, No big deal,

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you could be You're confident now that
you could be at least some sort

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of mid level warlord. You know, I did think that until I got

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until I got this job, and
then I met a lot of these military

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guys, right, and guys like
Tim Kennedy who would just eat me.

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Yeah, like while I was still
alive. They who probably just take a

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bite out of me. Yeah,
And I'm like, yeah, I got

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nothing. Dan. During the first
round of COVID chaos, you were suggesting

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where we should go find like make
shelter. Yeah, when I was working

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a lifetime I was like, I
got you know, we gotta go upstairs,

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we board off the bottom, and
yeah, we just pick off anybody

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that comes in. Which was funny
to me because Rob then suggested, why

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don't we just have shelter in our
homes that are literally built to be shelters

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because we got still work out.
You can probably steal some equipment and then

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just bring it back to your garage. But I still haven't gotten to the

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phase where I'm working out with steel
maces. Oh no, never a weapon.

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Are you talking about the one on
the chain? No? No,

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that's I'm talking about the on it
products. Okay, no, but like

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a mace is widely available now,
I know what you're talking about. The

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ball, the spiky ball in the
chain. Never a real weapon, Yeah,

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no, never a real zero sense
Yeah yeah, Kylie, are you

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ready for me to suggest we all
work out with old school weapons. We

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do jiu jitsu sleeve tats and we
start to swing. This is all an

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elaborate way for you to get a
sleeve tat and justify that's really all this.

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I'm approaching thirty. This is what
every guy in like my demographic approaching

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thirty. It's like your quarter from
It's your midlife christ from Philadelphia, Philadelphia.

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Yeah, just kind of meathead Jim
Rat type deal. This is the

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evolution. Yeah, and this is
a point where you start getting really into

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I assume the way, the same
way a lot of people really be,

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like maybe like my father, you
know, balding, middle aged guys with

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a gut get into like World War
two history. You guys get into Viking

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history. In the Viking history.
Yeah. Unfortunately, it's been kind of

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coming deered recently by maybe a group
of people we don't want to be associated

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with, who who appropriated vikings Um
the alt right. Oh they've been doing

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that for a while. Yeah,
not because yeah, because of their white

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and badasses. Yeah, I want
to get like king tats, but I'm

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like, I also you don't want
to be confused with they get they dig

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deep alt right like right right wing
nationalists digg real deep into uh certain parts

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of like just European history, like
ran like the Battle of Tours Have you

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heard of that? Yeah? Yeah, it's like where it was the battle

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that supposedly stopped the Muslims from taking
over the rest of Europe. Like he

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was in France, Like they already
got in Spain and they're peeking into Europe

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and they were stopped at the Battle
of Tours by by Charles Martel and a

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lot of a lot of alt right, like white nationalists, people who were

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like it was when we saved the
world from brown people, when like it's

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debatable if they were even ever gonna
invade France because the Caliphate was already stretched

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really thin, and it might have
just been a raiding party. It's like

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a vike. It's like every might
have just been like a rating party.

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Get and we're gonna get into like
West Frankie and ye same kingdom about this

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what we're talking about what happened one
hundred years after the Battle of Tours.

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Yeah, I looked it up.
So the Battle of Tours is like seven

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thirty two, I believe. Yeah, okay, yeah, today we're actually

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gonna cover uh Viking Jesus. Yes. Ragnar Sigurdson also known as Ragnar Lothbrook,

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also known as maybe not a person. I know. I think he

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was real. Well, I think
he was. I think he I after

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reading this stuff you sent, perusing
the stuff you said, I think he's

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real. I've talked myself into him
being like there was a Ragnar, and

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I've talked myself into him being Ragnar
Lothbrook and also doing all these cool,

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cool ass things. Yeah, none
of this stuff seems that far fetched.

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Rather than like the first story,
well there was one about a dragon.

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Yeah we'll get to that, but
yeah, that might have been out of

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context. What if he actually did
just like kill a lizard people like a

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komodo dragon, yeah, or something
like like someone it was like, you

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know, like in Florida, how
like people let their fucking pythons out and

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now they took over the state like
some noble got up komodo dragon from another

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noble from another not just you know, silk roaded it across and some guy

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in France ends up with this dragon
and he thinks it's rad and then one

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day the Viking shows up and just
cuts his fucking head off. Yeah,

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like, well this would have happened
in the Danish community either way. Yeah,

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if you've seen a Burmese python before
and then it's in Europe or whatever,

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right, Yeah, you're like,
what the crocodile, it's a fucking

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dragon's dragon. Every lizard over four
feet if you're from northern Europe, it's

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a fucking dragon, right, And
uh so the reason it's kind of up

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to debate, like who was Ragnar? Was he a real and the Norse

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weren't particularly great at taking notes about
their own history. Writing is for fucking

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nerds. I honestly just wanted the
week. Yeah, it's for pussies,

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like you don't fuck if you write
right. Essentially, you gotta either raid

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or you get a fuck. There's
no time to write between those two things.

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No, no, but weirdly,
like so I've been really obviously if

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you've watched the show Vikings, um
it kind of covers, Ragnar whatever,

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mythical person he was his son's Now
the new Assassin's Creed came out Valhalla,

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and uh, big thing in Viking
culture, weirdly was like battle raps.

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Yeah, you were telling you've been
talking about this for days. Actually you're

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very excited about Like they weren't.
They wouldn't ever write anything down, but

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they would straight up dissu with like
a rhyme, sick with like a fleet.

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I think it was called a fleet. Yeah, a fleet yeah kind

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of what Twitter? Yah? Twitter
like a least, that's how we got

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to common deer. That thing you
gotta do. Battle raps. People we

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don't like think straight up disrespect you
with a rhyme and then take out their

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acts and cut off your head.
Damn. Yeah, slander, actionable slander

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was legal grounds to kill someone in
Viking culture. I did some extra reading

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on just like, damn, you'd
be dead, we'd all be dead.

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Yeah. I would have been murdered
as a child. There are Tim Kennedy's

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running around this planet still. Yeah, who should have existed in this world?

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And I mean Tim would have been, well, you're just not dumb

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enough to talk in that world.
That's the difference. Yes, you just

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don't that part of your brain,
the expressive part where you can just like

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burn someone and worst case scenario like
you get told on. That doesn't develop

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in Viking culture when you see like
a fourteen year old be like, oh

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are you shoveling? Hey, it's
because you're gay, and then they get

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a fucking sword through their spine.
So pretty much anything that's covered by the

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Vikings is word of mouth, kind
of can't fire, still, worries and

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everything that is documented about these people
are from the lose inside. Oh that's

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wild. Losing is a bad way
to put it. Yeah, well,

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from the brutally raped and murdered sides
who were left to starve. So the

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English, the French, Irish,
Irish and anybody they infiltrated. Actually,

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one of one of my favorite things
that I learned, uh during this was

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that Dublin was founded as a Viking
town. Yeah, I believe half Dan

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supposedly Ragnar's one of Ragnar's sons.
I read both. I read both Ragnar

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and Ragnar's son was one or the
other, and they don't have a read

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on which per se, what is
it? You are the boneless? All

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right? So if you want to
rat off his sons, he has six.

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There's Ivar the Boneless, there's Uba
half Dan, Bjorn Ironside, of

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course, uh, his cerc Seagrid
Snake Eyes, Snake in the Eyes.

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Um, and yeah that's six.
Yeah that's do we want to just take

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wild stabs in the dark at what
those names mean? Yeah? I couldn't

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find anything on Ivar the Boneless,
so well, apparently he was a real

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person. Da Beer and Ironside kind
of mythical as well with his dad,

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right, Uh Seeger Snake in the
eyes kind of the worst character in the

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show vikings on History Channel. Oh, is that he's the only I didn't

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get through that I didn't get through
the first season that it was good show.

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00:14:28,799 --> 00:14:37,840
And I mean obviously Ragnar meets his
demise season four. W if you

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00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:41,519
want to watch just like a much
shittier Game of Thrones. I liked it.

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00:14:41,639 --> 00:14:46,360
I enjoyed it. Dan, I
have a theory, but that's all.

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00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:50,000
Like the entire show is just bullshit. It's not it's not what Ragnar

208
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:54,960
was. No, it's it's it's
combination. It's not like Rome or John

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00:14:56,039 --> 00:15:01,360
Adams or something weird because it's on
the History Channel, right right, maybe

210
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:07,559
be a little bit more. The
History Channel where more responsible for more misinformation

211
00:15:07,879 --> 00:15:11,320
historically at this point the Stars are
you trying to trash Pond Stars? Right

212
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:16,879
now? I won't have you tarnished
the name of Rick. Ancient Aliens First

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00:15:16,879 --> 00:15:20,559
of all, shut the fuck up. What no that shows? I'm curious,

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00:15:20,559 --> 00:15:24,639
what do you think the Aliens built
everything? Dude, watched the show

215
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,720
one time. There's gotta be There's
gotta be at least one episode of Ancient

216
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,519
Aliens with the vikings, right,
Oh, I'm sure I'm gonna I mean,

217
00:15:31,559 --> 00:15:35,600
there's an entire Nordic that. Yeah, we're looking up for like,

218
00:15:35,879 --> 00:15:39,679
everything's just like, how did they
build these boats? Did they learn or

219
00:15:41,039 --> 00:15:45,919
was it Aliens? The CWN for
ten thousand years? The question is always

220
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:52,480
what could have done it? Trial
and error or interstellar travel? You see

221
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:58,399
these pyramids in Egypt. It couldn't
have been Jews. Jews are terrible lap

222
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:02,039
in the face. You people aren't
much lift You aren't lifters. Yeah,

223
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:06,399
yeah, we're creative. We used
tools. Well it's not like we pulled

224
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,320
us out of the sand. We're
talking two ton of rocks. You're not

225
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:14,639
lifting that. You're David, you're
not Goliath tools, Dan, tools?

226
00:16:14,879 --> 00:16:18,080
You know fulcrums, levers alien David. Did he use a tool? He

227
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:22,279
did, He's got that totally on
him. Yeah, he used he used

228
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:26,000
a sling shot or the sling whatever
he was slinging the rock. It's one

229
00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:29,120
used sling shot or no he no, it's multiple us. Yeah, you

230
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:33,120
put another rocket? Do you guys
ever played age Empires? No slingers?

231
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,159
No, because that's my bit.
We're not doing well? Yeah, we

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00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,200
all have a bit. You bring
up the you bring up the kingsman,

233
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:42,039
I just bring you guys are played
my bit o being Jewish? Oh yeah,

234
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:45,720
just getting ripped on for being Jewish? All right? Her bits dating

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00:16:45,799 --> 00:16:51,519
Dan, Yeah, it's a good
bit. It's a talking to the microphone

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00:16:51,519 --> 00:16:53,679
you got dud being married to me. Hasn't gotten Courtney on the podcast yet,

237
00:16:53,759 --> 00:16:57,799
so she's episode Yeah, well her, yeah, we her mouth is

238
00:16:57,799 --> 00:17:06,000
at the beginning of episode. That's
my other bit. So ragnar for sure

239
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:12,160
existed, but it's kind of like
a lot of maybe maybe multiple people took

240
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:17,359
credit, Like it's if Jesus.
You know the story of Jesus. So

241
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:21,920
yeah, Jesus definitely existed, But
what do you do right, right,

242
00:17:22,039 --> 00:17:26,079
Because I mean the story of Jesus
has like nine other very similar stories and

243
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,200
it's all like it's all one cohesive
story through all these different books. It'd

244
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:34,359
be like if they just mashed eighteen
different books about Ragnar and like none of

245
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,599
the authors talk to each other or
just kind of like build off one another.

246
00:17:38,079 --> 00:17:41,880
It's just a fucking mess. Yeah, for sure. I mean I

247
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:45,359
think he's taking the place of a
lot of like you know, typical trope

248
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:49,200
stories too, for like folklore as
well, Like you know, is he

249
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,480
kind of like a Viking Gilgamesh?
Yes, No, I mean exactly.

250
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,440
Yeah. Like so like I mean, Jesus, if you think about it's

251
00:17:56,440 --> 00:18:00,279
like Horace the sun god has the
exact same story as Jesus, or like

252
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:06,119
Cyrus right and Ragnar supposedly you know, the son of Odin right direct descendant

253
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:11,839
of He's he's a son, He's
a god's son yep, myth Mythos.

254
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,480
He takes on that role. He
could very well be a real person though.

255
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:18,119
And they kind of touch on this
in the show Vikings, which I

256
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:22,559
kind of commend them for. Is
like it seems and we'll get into it.

257
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:27,559
He did kind of like question his
religion and question like Christianity. He's

258
00:18:27,599 --> 00:18:32,640
kind of like Christianity really interest him. Was it while he was doing his

259
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:38,920
wife in front of that priest that
he kidnapped Applestan? Ye show Appleston and

260
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:45,519
they were both like looking over at
him, like Apples never crossed paths with

261
00:18:45,799 --> 00:18:49,119
Applestan was a real person. But
then, yeah, you'll realize in the

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00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,960
show they take a lot of historical
characters that never actually didn't care. It

263
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:59,480
wasn't like his brother Rollo in the
show. Yeah, real person actually confirmed.

264
00:18:59,559 --> 00:19:03,960
There's documents on Rollo fifty years after
Ragnar died. Yeah, so they

265
00:19:03,039 --> 00:19:07,559
were not brothers. Oh really?
No, interesting? Yeah, I don't

266
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think anyone's watching the show Vikings on
the History Channel and be like, no,

267
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,359
no, this isn't how it went
at all, Like I think I

268
00:19:15,599 --> 00:19:18,319
don't think that's our demo. No, No, I don't think so either.

269
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,640
Our demo is Like, you know, I'll just get through with this.

270
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I just want to learn about fucking
Viking Jesus King, and less about

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00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:30,799
the show Vikings. Yes, so
everyone seems to agree that he was the

272
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son of Sigurd Ring in the ninth
century, so lived in eighteen hundreds,

273
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which eight hundreds, Yeah, eight
hundreds. I'm doing the same thing Jacob

274
00:19:38,599 --> 00:19:45,599
when he talked about it's like Monty
Python two five three four God damn.

275
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So, but where he was born
is kind of up to debate. Could

276
00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:55,359
have been because sigurd Ring is he
was Some sources to say he was on

277
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Norwegian prince. Others say he was
a king of Sweden, king of Denmark.

278
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,559
It's a little bit of everything.
Yeah, so his real name was

279
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:10,240
rag Guard or yeah, Segretson,
which obviously just he took his dad's name,

280
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right. He was the son of
Ragnar Secretson, son of secret same

281
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:22,799
thing with his sons. They wouldn't
be Lothbrook because Lothbrook actually means harry breeches.

282
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:29,759
Thought meant shaggy breeches, shaggy Harry
fairy breeches. Are we sure it

283
00:20:29,799 --> 00:20:33,559
means pubes or doesn't mean like he
wore bear pants, like he wore bear

284
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,720
pelt pants. Yeah, I thought
that's probably what it is, but we're

285
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:41,799
going pubes. It was. He
apparently thought this would like protect him in

286
00:20:41,839 --> 00:20:45,079
battle, and I guess it did
a pretty good job, because better than

287
00:20:45,319 --> 00:20:48,720
nothing, I suppose. So he
just wear you know, bear skin,

288
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:52,200
bear skin pants. Why not also
back then, back then, like if

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00:20:52,279 --> 00:20:59,880
something looked slightly weird, especially when
you're invading Christian territory in the ninth century,

290
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I think that they just assumed you
were a demon. So if it

291
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looked like you had the legs of
a bear. Also, they were like

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00:21:07,839 --> 00:21:11,279
seven feet tall compared to the Brits, right, Like, imagine if like

293
00:21:11,599 --> 00:21:15,160
we didn't. I'm trying to think
of even an example here. Imagine if

294
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:19,880
somebody came at you attacking, like
you were leaving here and you and Kylie

295
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:25,960
are going to the truck, and
this fucking thing, this guy pops out

296
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:30,680
of the bushes and he has such
advanced technology on him that it looks like

297
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,640
he just has like seven arms,
right, just seven arms, knives in

298
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:38,640
each one. What are you gonna
assume? You're gonna assume that he's like

299
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,799
a demon or something. And look, you can't even tell it's robotic,

300
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,000
Like it just looks natural, but
it's just robotics that are like a one

301
00:21:45,039 --> 00:21:48,559
hundred years down the line. You're
gonnasue it's a demon and leave her to

302
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:52,119
die as you run away. I
mean, just a bunch of NFL linebackers

303
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:56,359
get together and start rating the country. My point is, if he's wearing

304
00:21:56,480 --> 00:22:00,799
bear fur on his legs, I
guarantee like half the people in that time

305
00:22:00,839 --> 00:22:04,680
are gonna be like, that's a
bear man, and they're gonna like lose

306
00:22:04,759 --> 00:22:10,599
the will to fight immediately. Yeah
literally, yeah, yeah, yeah,

307
00:22:11,319 --> 00:22:15,680
like that man, someone like these
psychos have bread with bears and are now

308
00:22:15,799 --> 00:22:22,480
sending their bear children to steal our
wheat and our women and our women,

309
00:22:22,319 --> 00:22:26,359
and we have to give them our
like, I'm sorry, like young nine

310
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:30,880
year old Catlin, you gotta go
with them, because that's a bear person.

311
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,400
You're a bear maid. Now,
he wore these pants when he allegedly

312
00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:41,039
slayed what they said was a dragon
or a giant poison breathing serpent. It

313
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,799
was a snake outside of a tent. It was a giant fucking snake.

314
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:47,960
Yeah, it was. It was
like a it was a six foot snake.

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00:22:48,039 --> 00:22:52,960
So he was already famous when that
story happened, right, probably,

316
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:59,160
yeah, here's he at some point. You know, you're famous, and

317
00:22:59,279 --> 00:23:03,079
I'm sure famous people do this.
Now. I love your opinion on this.

318
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,519
Actually yeah, I'm sure I'm sure
famous people do this. Now,

319
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,920
what if he literally did just walk
out of his tent one day be like,

320
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,160
oh, fuck, stick cut its
head off, And it was like,

321
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,480
it'd be funny if we just told
people I fucking killed a dragon,

322
00:23:15,599 --> 00:23:17,279
or like, oh, look at
that dragon I killed. Guts check it

323
00:23:17,279 --> 00:23:18,400
out, I killed dragon. And
then you know, it'd be funny we

324
00:23:18,519 --> 00:23:22,559
just tell everyone I killed a dragon
just for the shit of it, especially

325
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:27,240
back then. But here's the thing, right, Vikings did things for the

326
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:32,400
Cloud all the time. Yeah,
Like it was all about their legacy,

327
00:23:32,799 --> 00:23:36,160
their hair, it was all about
their hair, the gold they bring back.

328
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:40,559
Vikings were kind of like SoundCloud rappers. Yeah, the land they take.

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00:23:40,799 --> 00:23:45,119
It's just all about dominating really right, and just like they were always

330
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,640
on that grind. But all these
these kind of like fables and kind of

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00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:55,039
the legend of Ragnar came out hundreds
of years later, like eleven hundred,

332
00:23:55,079 --> 00:23:57,799
twelve hundreds, I read like three
hundred and fifty years later in like Iceland,

333
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,880
And yeah, so that's when they
find they were like, you know

334
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:07,720
what, riding's not gay writings finally
not for queers. By that point had

335
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:12,079
been so passed down from you know, bear Child to bear Child and fire

336
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,680
that you know, yet, what
yet I have to feel like Viking culture

337
00:24:15,839 --> 00:24:25,599
is just every modern academics nightmare.
Yes, in every they're probably solely responsible

338
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:30,039
for, you know, not a
whole lot of documentation during this this time

339
00:24:30,079 --> 00:24:32,920
from Yeah, I think of all
the fucking shit we lost, Like we

340
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,680
must have lost artifact, like important
relics and things like that because they just

341
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:41,519
hulk smashed. Yeah, they were
like, yeah, sick ves there's like

342
00:24:41,599 --> 00:24:47,920
a thirty percent chance the the fuck
what is it? The last what was

343
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:51,000
the last ger said about the Holy
Grail? Yeah, they they they like

344
00:24:51,279 --> 00:24:52,599
they pissed in it. Yeah.
They they took a ship and pissed in

345
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:56,000
the Holy Grail, like they found
it in some English abbey and we're just

346
00:24:56,079 --> 00:25:00,160
like, this is my gold toilet. Their God drank out of it.

347
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,400
It is kind of sick. Those
good comparison to those SoundCloud rappers where it's

348
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:07,160
like they do everything for the cloud. They do, rhyme they do,

349
00:25:07,559 --> 00:25:10,599
and they often kill each other over
those rhymes. Twitter fingers turned with trigger

350
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:17,279
fingers. That's right. So yeah, he had three wives allegedly, Uh

351
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:22,319
that seems not well, not at
once he divorced. There's Lagretha, the

352
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:26,839
shield Maiden who fought side by side
she's in the show. Yeah, that

353
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,200
was the first one, and then
Thora. They kind of skip over,

354
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:34,920
but he gets thora from beheading this
dragon and then a slog which is the

355
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,720
one who gave him like most of
his sons, but also some of these

356
00:25:38,759 --> 00:25:42,480
sons they said could have been adopted, because back then adoption was pretty big

357
00:25:42,519 --> 00:25:45,119
in the Viking community. It was. It wasn't just vikings. There's a

358
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:51,400
lot everywhere, like for example,
the Roman Empire during like the peak of

359
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:56,640
the Empire, not the republic um. There wasn't like the Empire, the

360
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,599
emperors weren't all fathers son, so
a lot of a lot of it was

361
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,680
adopted sons. Like they would just
be like to make them their air.

362
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,480
Essentially, they would be like they
would just adopt a young up and comer

363
00:26:10,599 --> 00:26:14,279
um. It'd be I'm trying to
think of a good example, like if

364
00:26:14,279 --> 00:26:17,759
you want to go like modern politics, like everyone's gonna hate this example,

365
00:26:17,759 --> 00:26:21,400
but if like Bernie Sanders was like
AOC is my adopted daughter, you know

366
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:22,680
what I mean, Like they would
just pick a young rump and comer from

367
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,839
their faction who they thought would be
a good ruler to be like this is

368
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,319
my song, like a mentor.
Yeah, but they would adopt them.

369
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,240
It was to make it legit.
Yeah, they would pass the air it.

370
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:37,119
Essentially it legalized their right to the
throne by adopting them. Yeah.

371
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:41,680
You actually see it a lot in
Japanese culture too, even today, like

372
00:26:41,279 --> 00:26:48,480
CEO's adopt because because any rich person's
actual child, it's worthless. Yeah,

373
00:26:48,599 --> 00:26:49,759
it's like, no, I'm gonna
adopt this guy to run the same song

374
00:26:51,079 --> 00:26:57,599
Dan, I'm a geisha. Yeah. So that's kind of like some background

375
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:03,720
on like the mythical Ragnar. But
there is a guy in the eight hundreds

376
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:10,079
that is confirmed. He's a real
person that a lot of scholars kind of

377
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:17,359
considered to be the real Ragnar Lothbrook
and he goes by Ragan here. He

378
00:27:17,559 --> 00:27:21,359
was translating Latin to Ragnar totally butchered
that. Whatever, it doesn't matter,

379
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:29,359
I'm calling him Ragnar from But he
led a campaign into West Francia with five

380
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:33,039
thousand Viking soldiers in March of eighteen
forty five. So that's documented. Yeah,

381
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,720
well aid siege to Paris. Well, yeah, we're gonna get to

382
00:27:36,759 --> 00:27:41,119
that, but but yeah, a
little background. Vikings started fucking around with

383
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:47,039
Frankia in seven ninety nine, which
is where Charlemagne, who was the King

384
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:51,680
of the Franks and the Emperor of
Rome, started to create a defense system

385
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:55,960
along the north coast. Got that
done in like eighteen ten. Yeah,

386
00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:03,359
dies in eighteen fourteen eight or yeah, eight eight fourteen. Goddamn it's hard,

387
00:28:03,519 --> 00:28:06,559
right, it's not. It's supern
oh, it is, it's super

388
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:11,279
easy. I did put the Vikings
in the eighteen hundreds too. Yeah,

389
00:28:11,319 --> 00:28:14,839
he lived for thousands of yet no, everyone knows where Agnery has been around

390
00:28:14,839 --> 00:28:18,759
for No, No, Charlemagne,
sure, Charlemagne the god. Yeah he's

391
00:28:18,799 --> 00:28:23,440
still alive today. Yeah. No, So Charlemagne dies in eighteen fourteen,

392
00:28:23,519 --> 00:28:34,279
eight fourteen, goddamn it. It's
superto stop go off one of those like

393
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:37,559
murder beats or murder rhimes at the
Vikings do all right, So he dies

394
00:28:37,599 --> 00:28:42,119
in eight fourteen. Uh, Francia
kind of goes into turmoil, has a

395
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,359
lot of civil war. His three
sons kind of like butt heads, try

396
00:28:45,359 --> 00:28:49,240
to fight for power, little power
struggle and uh yeah, for the next

397
00:28:49,279 --> 00:28:55,039
like thirty years, Vikings kind of
keep tabs. Also France, isn't you

398
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,880
know, Francia, Frankie whatever,
France, it's divide, Yeah, France

399
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:02,319
is not France right now. It
is not what you're picturing and and and

400
00:29:02,519 --> 00:29:06,559
Charlemagne like ruled part of France and
the whole Roman Empire, right, so

401
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:10,880
it's not really it's yeah's super divided
up, like Normandy is its own thing,

402
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,319
Burgundy all the stuff, what you
can what you would consider modern France,

403
00:29:15,519 --> 00:29:18,480
all of that. But when he
died, that's when it kind of

404
00:29:18,559 --> 00:29:22,200
fractured. I don't think he wrote
whatever because his sons, his sons went

405
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:26,200
off right from parts. Yeah,
so for the next thirty years, you

406
00:29:26,279 --> 00:29:30,680
know, Ken's kind of kept tabs
and were like they were like weirdly like

407
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:36,880
good at getting their their research on
the really good at scouting, which is

408
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,680
creepy greatest scouting. Yeah, even
though they could just like run, they

409
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,359
could well they they could kick in
the front door, but they decide to

410
00:29:42,599 --> 00:29:48,000
just well, you know, lions, they don't eat the strongest gazelle.

411
00:29:48,319 --> 00:29:53,079
Yeah, right. They they were
like they were like apex predators, like

412
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:57,279
truly on other humans. Like it's
they're smart. Yeah, they're like they

413
00:29:57,279 --> 00:30:00,559
were like spiders that eat other spi
It kind of makes sense because it's like,

414
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:07,519
look at all these idiots worrying about
leaders and mud fucking farmers. Yeah

415
00:30:07,799 --> 00:30:12,519
and yeah, it's like a hundred
farmers with wooden pitchforks being ruled by four

416
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:17,240
people with horses. And then all
these linebackers are like, oh my god,

417
00:30:17,319 --> 00:30:19,039
we can kill all one hundred of
these people and just take their ship.

418
00:30:19,559 --> 00:30:22,759
I mean we were talking even as
early as William Walker for our first

419
00:30:22,799 --> 00:30:27,079
episode We'll Throwback. They took over
all of like Central America with forty guys.

420
00:30:27,319 --> 00:30:30,559
Yeah, yeah, so imagine how
easy it was for five thousand of

421
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:37,799
these just psychos psychopathic Yeah, strong
men. Yeah, even like the European

422
00:30:37,079 --> 00:30:42,319
god is weak compared to the Viking
god. Yes, Jesus compared to Yeah,

423
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:47,160
oh my god, even their gods
are buff. Yeah, Jesus is

424
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:51,359
on a frail Why are they worshiping
a god it's dying like he got fucking

425
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:53,680
what what do you let do to
them? What bitch got? Yeah?

426
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,960
Thorin doing that? No, Thor
is gonna hit you with his hammer.

427
00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:00,519
That's where God comes in. They
just gotta show him the Old Testament.

428
00:31:00,799 --> 00:31:03,720
Yeah, no, so the Old
Testaments for the Father. Yeah, I'm

429
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:07,279
gonna my dad, Papa, don't
play. You don't know who my fucking

430
00:31:07,359 --> 00:31:10,799
dad is man. Yeah, he
once killed a bunch of the call.

431
00:31:11,359 --> 00:31:14,039
Then they call him a rabbi from
the eight hundreds to read from the Torah,

432
00:31:14,079 --> 00:31:17,960
and it's like a little bit.
Yeah, it's not it's not intimidating.

433
00:31:18,039 --> 00:31:22,119
And then everyone's head gets cut off. Yeah, all all Western non

434
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:26,559
Nordic. Yea, we should all
be worshiping Odin right now. Honestly,

435
00:31:26,599 --> 00:31:29,839
I'm all for it. If you
know what the problem is. They were

436
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:33,240
too horny. Vikings were too horny. Yeah, they liked fucking too much.

437
00:31:33,559 --> 00:31:36,599
Well, if they were way more, if they were greedier, if

438
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:41,519
they liked if they like gold more
than feasting on bore meat and pussy.

439
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,400
Well they did like gold, not
as much as bore meat and pussy.

440
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,839
You know. They like to eat
like a bear or a pig and fuck

441
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:53,400
and then just go to sleep in
there like thatched wooden hut. They weren't.

442
00:31:53,519 --> 00:31:57,480
They weren't greedy the way like the
Eastern Roman Empire was greedy or the

443
00:31:57,559 --> 00:32:01,400
Persians were greedy, or was more
decorative the gold and silver they collected where

444
00:32:01,559 --> 00:32:04,799
it was around, Yeah, it
was cloud, it was cloud. It

445
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,240
was like a SoundCloud rapper. They
only had a checking account. They only

446
00:32:07,319 --> 00:32:10,000
had a fucking checking account. They
kept it in the back of the hut.

447
00:32:10,119 --> 00:32:17,839
I only have a checking account.
Come on, what where do you

448
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:22,039
put your holding on for as long
as I can? What do you what

449
00:32:22,119 --> 00:32:27,559
do you put your money into my
checking account? I'm leaving paycheck to paycheck,

450
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,559
my guy that you said I didn't
have a checking No, I only

451
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:32,359
have a checking a. Oh okay, I'm gonna have cashed up my four

452
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:36,720
on one K twice so I don't
have that anymore. I've also done this.

453
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,559
Yeah I've done that too, but
one time when I put it into

454
00:32:38,599 --> 00:32:42,160
my house, so I really just
shifted the savings. So yeah, like

455
00:32:42,279 --> 00:32:45,359
totally normal property. Whoa Rob loves
to do that. He loves to hit

456
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:52,359
that, love to hit that.
It's something to translate the audio. So

457
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,920
we got videos high. Yeah,
if you want to see what Rob just

458
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,640
did to the Americans on YouTube.
Yeah, check us out on YouTube.

459
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:02,000
Please subscribe, man. But anyway, what we're talking about, Oh yeah

460
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:05,519
they didn't. Vikings only had a
checking account. That was Yeah, they

461
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:08,599
were no saving. They weren't like
other empires. I swear if they if

462
00:33:08,759 --> 00:33:16,000
if they have if they used their
ability to navigate both ocean and river,

463
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:22,839
and also their ability to fight,
and you combined that with uh imperial design,

464
00:33:23,039 --> 00:33:29,279
which they never had. Uh really
it could have been a lot different,

465
00:33:29,559 --> 00:33:31,279
like really, but they never had. They never They really just sp

466
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:36,319
They were simple. They really were
simple people. Yeah. They love the

467
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:43,000
sale, they love they love to
raid and rape, and why why establish

468
00:33:43,039 --> 00:33:45,720
anything if you can just take it? It's kind of the exactly. Yeah.

469
00:33:45,759 --> 00:33:49,519
No, they didn't have the same
they didn't have the same desires that

470
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,839
most I want to I mean,
dude, even the fucking Mongolians, who

471
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:58,119
I feel like it's a pretty good
comp even they set up an empire.

472
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:01,440
Yeah, but like I don't know, they're more Nomad's Vikings because like even

473
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:08,079
obviously Lee Rickson and all that,
the people that originally founded I found found

474
00:34:08,079 --> 00:34:12,039
in the New World, the New
World. Yeah, Columbus gets all the

475
00:34:12,039 --> 00:34:16,760
credit though. Yeah, it's because
if Vikns didn't write anything down again idiots.

476
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:20,079
No, they were writing down stuff
by then at that point, but

477
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,280
but no one was reading it.
No, that was a problem. There

478
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:27,559
was still a little They were like
my type of literacy, my level,

479
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:34,760
son, nothing, nothing, what
do you put what grade are you putting?

480
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:38,519
His literacy at third at best.
Okay, that's tiger than I thought

481
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:43,320
she would say. To be fair, they recommend when you write stuff for

482
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,039
online content, unless you're like working
for the New York Times or the Wall

483
00:34:46,039 --> 00:34:50,719
Street Journal or something like that,
it should be at like fifth grade reading

484
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,960
level. Yeah, you got some
work to you. We're almost area.

485
00:34:52,199 --> 00:34:57,840
Yeah, go ahead and speak up
into the microphone, say with your chest.

486
00:34:58,519 --> 00:35:00,280
Damn, dude, I think my
girl's mouth is better than your girl's

487
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:05,960
mouth. I think Barney's mouth is
superior to Kylie's mouth. Wow. I'm

488
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:07,320
gonna tell her that when I get
home, Like, babe, great news.

489
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:12,440
I tested Kylie's mouth out. Years
is better. Yeah. Oh,

490
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:15,880
I don't want to fight your wife. Man, Glad we settled that on

491
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,559
the show. I can't wait to
explain that to my wife. What happened

492
00:35:19,599 --> 00:35:22,840
on the show is Rob compared his
wife's mouth to dance girl. Now we

493
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,239
gotta get your wife's mouth, yeah, yeah, yeah, baby, we're

494
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:27,320
gonna need your mouth. Yeah baby, we gotta test your mouth out.

495
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,119
Yeah. Great. So, Ragnar
kind of pops up eight forty one.

496
00:35:30,599 --> 00:35:37,559
Um kind of establishes a relationship with
Charles the Bold, the Bald the Bald.

497
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:39,320
Yeah, yeah, Charles the Bald, Charles the Bald. Actually a

498
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:45,000
lot of these French kings had some
pretty bummer names for them. There was

499
00:35:45,079 --> 00:35:49,840
Charles the Bald, after that was
Charles the Simple. And we've talked about

500
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:53,119
this. Names for leaders are always
fucking direct. The worst part is you

501
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:59,039
get it. They get it why
while they're a lot like it's not like

502
00:35:59,119 --> 00:36:01,320
they're dead and they're like that,
I was a fucking idiot. He a

503
00:36:01,519 --> 00:36:06,719
dope ass name. Yeah, Charloagne. You know what, Charles Martelban's Charlayne's

504
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,719
grandfather, the guy from the Battle
Doors, right, I think so.

505
00:36:10,039 --> 00:36:15,960
Yeah, Charles Martell means Charles the
Hammer. That's a sick name. Yeah,

506
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:20,880
but I mean there's there's even one
of his sons is like Louis the

507
00:36:21,079 --> 00:36:23,079
German. Yeah, that's because he's
just Chars. They get lazy, some

508
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,519
German, so many fucking kids,
you know, like, yeah, that

509
00:36:25,599 --> 00:36:30,639
came from a German jick, so
he's German. Well, actually that was

510
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:34,119
probably I was talking out of my
ass here. One's brought to me.

511
00:36:34,199 --> 00:36:38,360
That was a bit of a burn
for that time period. Fucking German Germans

512
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:43,920
were kind of wild people back the
hill people they weren't quite that bad because

513
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:45,840
the Holy Roman empires in Germany at
this point, so they were pretty settled,

514
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:50,679
but they were still like relatively new. Like so the Gauls, the

515
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:55,920
Frank Frank's whatever you want to call
him, had had essentially been civilized longer

516
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,159
than the Germans. So it would
be like, I don't know, I'd

517
00:37:00,199 --> 00:37:05,679
be like, it'd be like making
fun of someone I guess now for maybe

518
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:09,440
like being from Montana honestly, like
you know, like from the hills in

519
00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:14,159
Montana. I would honestly from Appalachia, you know, like, yeah,

520
00:37:14,199 --> 00:37:17,280
they're in civilization, but barely of
How the Brits make fun of the Irish

521
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,840
and the Welsh and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, just like can

522
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,679
they treat the Irish like they're just
these like red headed free Yeah, the

523
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:27,840
Scotts and the Welsh and all that, they just treat him as like lower

524
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:32,239
class citizens and like bread. Yeah
yeah, So Charles the Ball doesn't really

525
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:36,920
want that smoke when Ragnar comes in, so he gives him land and money

526
00:37:37,159 --> 00:37:39,239
just to stop being addiction. Can
you give him normandy? Yeah? He

527
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:43,000
did, he gave him. He
gave him Normandy. You give him bunch

528
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,159
of land, give him a bunch
of money. Just be like, hey,

529
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,000
dude, can you stop? How
much silver was it? You need

530
00:37:47,039 --> 00:37:51,079
to say how much silver it was. We're not there yet. Oh on

531
00:37:51,159 --> 00:37:53,320
the on the Siege of Paris.
Oh, I'm sorry, Yeah, I'm

532
00:37:53,360 --> 00:38:00,519
jumping ahead. By the way,
Normandy kind of and not like people.

533
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:06,280
I feel like no one in France
cares about Normandy. Like nobody wants to

534
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,480
live in Normandy. It's only us. It's not that. It's just no

535
00:38:08,519 --> 00:38:12,119
one wants to live in Normandy.
It's not like cool shit in Normandy.

536
00:38:12,519 --> 00:38:19,159
And somehow Normandy just keeps popping up
in history over and over past and oh,

537
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,360
I guess that's true. But because
it was, well, yeah,

538
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:24,920
I was there for obviously, ragnar
you've got um what's his name? The

539
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:30,559
Battle of Hastings William and the Conqueror
comes from Normandy, conquers England, changes

540
00:38:30,639 --> 00:38:32,960
the entire landscape of Western civilization.
Then of course you have d Day,

541
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,840
the you know, invasion of Normandy
in World War two. Uh, don't

542
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,679
worry about it. Don't worry about
It's fine, Okay, Okay, we'll

543
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:45,480
get that. We'll get to that. It's a special Niche episode A niche

544
00:38:45,519 --> 00:38:47,920
episode called D Day. We might
have to do just like a mini episode

545
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:52,760
on that, like a fifteen minute
or just to kind of they were beaches.

546
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:53,760
We would actually just play the opening
of same Private Ryan, and that'll

547
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:59,519
be an episode you on'tly just listen. This is this is what everyone yeah

548
00:38:59,679 --> 00:39:01,239
saw. Yeah, if your your
dad's mete it this far, I'm sure

549
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:08,840
he's super pumped about that joke about
what just their her military dad just like,

550
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,599
what's do you did? Oh?
Yeah it is you. I think

551
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,280
I think so. Are you saying
he doesn't get tongue in cheek humor?

552
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,000
Damn no, he gets. It's
like writing down all the stupid shots.

553
00:39:17,079 --> 00:39:22,360
We had no right to invade Europe. That is not our continent, not

554
00:39:22,519 --> 00:39:27,360
our cause. Yeah, that was
to leave Western Europe to the Western Europeans.

555
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:31,000
That's literally what people were saying,
though they were like, well there's

556
00:39:31,039 --> 00:39:36,320
a lot of like you know Nazis
in America at that time. Charles Lindbeck.

557
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,400
Yeah, so yeah, he pays
him off, but you know,

558
00:39:39,639 --> 00:39:44,719
Viking's gonna viken and he just kept
on plunder. There's no yeah, there's

559
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,239
no amount. And also, but
how does that ever even work? You

560
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:52,800
can't pay someone to not punch you
in the face. He's the mafia.

561
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:58,840
Yeah, that's literally mafia, original
mafia. Yeah, paying protection, except

562
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:00,800
they weren't even paying from from themselves, right, well know, yeah they

563
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:05,360
were. They were paying the Vikings
protection and it's to not kill them.

564
00:40:05,519 --> 00:40:07,599
Yeah right yeah, and so they're
basically what just the one time, right,

565
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,800
just a one time and you got
that's it. My gold is good.

566
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:15,719
It's like, whoa, they just
give us the stuff we wanted in

567
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:17,480
the raid, Like we don't even
have to do anything. This is great.

568
00:40:19,079 --> 00:40:21,559
Let's just keep coming back. This
is what we talked about like a

569
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:24,719
week ago with John Smith, and
you're like, Pirtings hard, No,

570
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:30,239
No, mining gold is hard.
Putting a sword in someone's face and taking

571
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:36,320
and taking their gold is fucking easy. Much smaller men who aren't as good

572
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,480
at fighting. Yeah, I'm that
was that was Ragnar's philosophy. Really.

573
00:40:39,519 --> 00:40:45,360
It was like, let's take the
easy battle. Yeah, most people that

574
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:49,880
succeed over history take those easy swipes, like the low hanging fruit that everyone

575
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,800
turns in their nose up at.
That's just resource man, right, that's

576
00:40:54,079 --> 00:41:00,400
yeah. Oh Dan, they go
and when you kind of like pulled that

577
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,760
rotten apple off apple off the tree
for its seeds. You're gonna plant those

578
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:12,119
seeds in a new tree like a
poor man's Johnny apple seed. That's good.

579
00:41:13,519 --> 00:41:15,480
Wait, Kylie, what are your
thoughts so far? We haven't talked

580
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:16,920
to Kylie. Kylie, what are
you? What are your thoughts on Ragnar

581
00:41:17,079 --> 00:41:22,719
so far and the Viking people in
general? I think they're really progressive in

582
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,119
what way? In every way?
The Vikings in general are really progressive.

583
00:41:25,519 --> 00:41:30,760
What was it? The rape or
the theft the women? The women fought

584
00:41:31,039 --> 00:41:36,039
two women. They could own property, they could leave their husbands, they

585
00:41:36,079 --> 00:41:40,519
were tired. They did actually divorced
this first one adoption. I think it's

586
00:41:40,559 --> 00:41:45,440
only progressive when the woman divorces the
man. I don't know how much power

587
00:41:45,599 --> 00:41:46,719
the woman had in that way.
He was just like, I want to

588
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:51,559
fuck. She was a shield something
else. Yeah, she had power he

589
00:41:51,679 --> 00:41:54,440
had. He that's not good.
He's he started with the girl next door,

590
00:41:55,519 --> 00:41:58,880
you know, like, oh,
they played sports together, they killed

591
00:41:59,199 --> 00:42:01,480
British and together, you know,
like it was like a crush in high

592
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:07,920
school. And then he like some
smoke show royalty comes along and he's like,

593
00:42:07,079 --> 00:42:12,760
hey, third whatever. He kills
a serpent outside of someone's lady was

594
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:14,960
the second wife? Yeah, I
didn't getting a woman as a gift.

595
00:42:15,039 --> 00:42:17,519
What a shitty gift. Yeah,
thanks for killing that dragon. Here's my

596
00:42:17,679 --> 00:42:25,760
daughter. Yeah so you Shrek kind
of strength, Ragnar. There's there the

597
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:30,280
parallels, are there? One questioned? Yeah, yeah, so you're a

598
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:35,039
fan of the Viking though I'm a
fan. They look duchy. They don't

599
00:42:35,119 --> 00:42:37,760
dress very well, but they I
mean they have tats. They're all tatted

600
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:39,400
up. They are tatted up.
They were bear pants at least they're using

601
00:42:39,519 --> 00:42:44,400
more of the animal. And they
saved the side of their heads and stuff,

602
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:49,119
and so whacked did they all the
time? They have that basically just

603
00:42:49,519 --> 00:42:58,039
Google Google they have that but with
like braids braids. Yeah yeah, yeah,

604
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:04,199
that's cool. I'll let that slid
cool. No, the ship too,

605
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:08,800
You're own record, not canceled cut
that. Yeah, see you under

606
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:15,880
the overpast than any Jew out there
are bench Shapiro. Oh god, that's

607
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:20,079
right. He definitely owns that niche. That's a fucking niche. God,

608
00:43:20,119 --> 00:43:24,480
our country sucks. Yeah. Neo
Jews, Jews that were Yamakas that love

609
00:43:24,639 --> 00:43:29,840
neo Nazis. That's a guy that
makes money for that. What fucking cuck.

610
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:35,800
Who's the biggest cuck on earth?
Most people, I feel like,

611
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:37,960
just most people in the media cut
themselves essentially. I mean you kind of

612
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:42,960
have to. Yeah, you just
cut yourself. So you know, Charles

613
00:43:43,039 --> 00:43:45,760
the Baald did not say kindly to
this strip them of the land and title

614
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:52,159
that he had of Normandy. Normandy
okay, and told him to leave.

615
00:43:52,679 --> 00:43:54,440
Of course, you know, Ragnar, being the reasonable man he was,

616
00:43:55,079 --> 00:44:00,280
he left. But then he came
back. Well he didn't. I feel

617
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:02,679
like he actually was like forcedly,
like there was actually an army it kind

618
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:06,320
of push. Yeah, like he
did. He just didn't have the manpower

619
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:08,119
that he was like all right,
I know one's battles. Yeah, Well,

620
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:12,880
like I said, the Vikings are
predators, they're not they need yeah,

621
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:16,079
they know when to strike. Yeah. Yeah. So he kind of

622
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:22,960
regroups, goes back and uh it
comes back with five thousand warriors, yes,

623
00:44:23,639 --> 00:44:29,199
one hundred and twenty ships ships.
Yeah. Down the river. Yeah,

624
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:32,239
he coasted down the river. C
N s C. Come on,

625
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:37,280
I'm putting it's French, so it's
kind of like a little accent. Here's

626
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:39,679
the trick. Here's here's the trick
to French. You only pronounce half the

627
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:45,000
letters no matter what it is.
Yeah, so it could be sa,

628
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:49,559
could be sen, could be C
whatever it is. But this and then

629
00:44:49,599 --> 00:44:52,960
on balls while you say it too, it's sent. It's just sen this

630
00:44:53,079 --> 00:44:55,719
time. By the way, I
read today a little off topic but about

631
00:44:55,719 --> 00:45:00,840
the French and about Paris. So
uh red random article today that like Paris

632
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:07,159
is big sandwich is making a comeback
but up kind of uh And it's like

633
00:45:07,199 --> 00:45:13,599
they're like signature of sandwich. It's
literally just ham and butter. Yeah,

634
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:15,559
no, that is for a while. You know what was usurped by what?

635
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:20,760
The cheeseburger? Really? Yeah,
the cheeseburger had gotten so popular that

636
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:23,519
it had outpaced sales of the ham
and butter bag. What a royale with

637
00:45:23,679 --> 00:45:29,360
cheese pretty much? Yeah, royal
with cheese instead of the giambombe. Yes.

638
00:45:30,599 --> 00:45:32,519
I don't know why I know that
already, but yeah, I read

639
00:45:32,559 --> 00:45:35,800
that a while ago there. Yeah, oh, man, cheeseburger, that

640
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:37,599
was a big wind. But the
ham, the ham and butter sandwiches back.

641
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,400
How are they not? Opeat It's
because they smoke cigarettes and drink red

642
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:44,719
wine and walk everywhere. They walk
everywhere, all right, that's fair and

643
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:47,159
they're sleep half the time, so
like they're not eating. Yeah, that's

644
00:45:47,199 --> 00:45:52,880
true. It pays to be lazy
man, as long as you're not shoveling

645
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:55,280
food down your goalet. It's actually
known that if you drink a glass of

646
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:59,920
red wine for every cigarette you smoke, it cancels. Yeah, it's good,

647
00:46:00,079 --> 00:46:02,599
and it's actually behind his ten calories, so it's negative ten calories.

648
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:05,679
Well, I mean, and the
more out of shape you are, the

649
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:08,280
harder it is to get somewhere,
so your body probably burns more calories,

650
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:13,440
right, science, science, we
mapped it out. Yes, So he

651
00:46:13,559 --> 00:46:16,000
starts to pick off these little towns. As he's sailing down the river,

652
00:46:17,559 --> 00:46:22,559
charlesons on his way to Paris.
Paris, Charles sends two forces on each

653
00:46:22,639 --> 00:46:27,480
side of the river. Yea,
and rather than fight both sides and get

654
00:46:27,559 --> 00:46:30,559
surrounded, he just went after the
smaller force, right as one does.

655
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:34,760
By the way, at this point, at this point, if you're familiar

656
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:38,400
with Paris, like the city,
I think the city only exists pretty much

657
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:42,199
on the island in the sun.
Yeah yeah, so like now, obviously

658
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:45,679
it's fucking huge. It's a fortress, it's basically, but yeah, at

659
00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:49,800
this point in time, Paris is
just the island on the Sun River,

660
00:46:50,199 --> 00:46:54,159
and it's supposedly like an impenetrable for
pretty good spot. That's why it was

661
00:46:54,159 --> 00:46:57,760
built there. Because it's on a
river. Yeah, I mean it's on

662
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,760
an island. It's really hard to
get in there. You have to lay

663
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:05,239
siege. Yeah, and siege they
did. But first he met these two

664
00:47:05,559 --> 00:47:08,679
these two forces on each side of
the river, went after the smaller wrecked,

665
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:13,800
wrecked them, uh, just fucking
smoked them. Took one hundred and

666
00:47:14,039 --> 00:47:19,280
eleven hostages. It's my favorite part. And while the other part of the

667
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,800
Charles Armies on the other side of
the river, he sees Ragnar hang all

668
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:29,400
one hundred and eleven soldiers that he
took captive on this little island in between

669
00:47:29,559 --> 00:47:34,480
that, and they he sacrifice them
to Odin. Yeah, he's one hundred

670
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,800
and eleven. He hanged him to
se by one to sacrifice to Odin and

671
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,840
to scare the shit out of the
other side. But one and they the

672
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:44,480
other side quickly just they bail.
Yeah, we're good. They're like,

673
00:47:44,679 --> 00:47:49,079
no, we're not check please yeah
yeah yeah, they're out. Um,

674
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:55,400
So coast is clear for Paris.
Peterie, so he sails in the Paris,

675
00:47:57,039 --> 00:47:59,480
not even sail. It's not that
about long, It's not that much.

676
00:48:00,119 --> 00:48:01,760
You know. It's kind of like
if you went if we went from

677
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:06,320
the parking lot outside, It's like
we went from the parking lot outside of

678
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:09,840
our studio to like the parking lot
outside the subway next to the studio.

679
00:48:12,159 --> 00:48:14,599
Yeah, if we went to the
pizzas from here, right, that's exactly.

680
00:48:14,599 --> 00:48:16,280
That's pretty much what they didn't go
to the pe terries after this kicking

681
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:21,719
the door and just start beating everyone
since oh there's a hang them on the

682
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:24,760
street, so that everyone knows that
this is our p terries and that's it.

683
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:28,440
That's the last we'll hear from anyone. Yeah, yeah, like,

684
00:48:28,519 --> 00:48:32,920
well that's Dan's p terries now,
and this is Easter Sunday. I noticed

685
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:36,519
that. Man, a lot of
fucked up shit happens on Easter, isn't

686
00:48:36,519 --> 00:48:39,079
that March March twenty nine, eight
forty five? I got it that time?

687
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:45,599
Um, yeah, Easter Sunday again. Ragnar's he's very familiar with Christianity

688
00:48:45,639 --> 00:48:49,239
at this point. He needless needless
to say the Easter bunnies stayed away from

689
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:52,039
Paris, though he knows what this
day means to like a city of like

690
00:48:52,199 --> 00:48:55,679
Paris and Charles right Christian like Christianity
folks. So he's like, yeah,

691
00:48:55,679 --> 00:49:00,719
it's a perfect time to fucking storm
then, and yeah they take a pretty

692
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:04,400
fucking easily. Um, yeah,
they take Paris. They sacked Paris,

693
00:49:04,519 --> 00:49:07,119
They sack Paris. It's amazing how
many times all the cities of Europe have

694
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:14,480
been sacked. Sacking is such a
horrifying thought, like just being at a

695
00:49:14,559 --> 00:49:17,239
place where it's like it's oh,
they're gonna just like brutalizing, and they

696
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:21,840
also stay there for like an extended
period of time. Yeah, it's so

697
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:25,960
just like a one day thing,
foreign shilling that you don't realize how fucked

698
00:49:27,039 --> 00:49:30,320
up it is. But probably the
last actually a city's probably been sacked within

699
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:34,760
the last twenty thirty years for me, totally honest. But oh like sure,

700
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:39,800
I mean like in Libya or something. Christmas, Sorry, sacking reminds

701
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:44,800
you of Christmas. Yeah, it's
not as happy as that. Yeah,

702
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:49,320
there's not's not shoving toys into a
bag, yeah, skulls. Maybe it's

703
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:54,039
a shoving people. I suppose actually
no, I suppose they are shoving gifts

704
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:58,039
into it. Sack. There you
go. Yeah, the skulls of their

705
00:49:58,119 --> 00:50:02,480
enemies for their wife that can legally
divorce them. Yeah. Yeah, very

706
00:50:02,519 --> 00:50:07,480
progressive from the victor's side. If
they wrote stuff down, they would sound

707
00:50:07,559 --> 00:50:13,320
like a utopian like socialist. Yeah, like anarcho socialism or whatever. Yeah.

708
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:16,119
So here's the thing though. While
they're in Paris, a plague breaks

709
00:50:16,119 --> 00:50:22,159
out. Yeah, diarrha plage,
diarrhea plague. A lot of Vikings just

710
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:24,880
kind of get wiped out by this
this plague. Oh. So they're all

711
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:30,039
big and burly, but they have
say, little Tom Toms tam shirts.

712
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:37,400
Is this is this your I am
ready? You are? I have I

713
00:50:37,519 --> 00:50:42,239
have diarrhea. I'm jacked and cool. My chick's gonna leave me at any

714
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:46,199
point and she's legally allowed to do
it. Bro. Yeah, I love

715
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:51,880
this SPI design. This is a
shave your head JUSTI yeah. But then

716
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:53,360
brat you gotta you're gonna to start
braking his hair. That braid his hair,

717
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:59,920
bro the beard back if it braid
his beard is dirty beard here too.

718
00:51:00,159 --> 00:51:02,039
But yea. So Ragnar says to
see that his forces are kind of

719
00:51:02,079 --> 00:51:06,440
going down. But for whatever reason, Charles the Ball does is like,

720
00:51:07,119 --> 00:51:12,239
please please just leave, So he
offers him a first payment, one of

721
00:51:12,559 --> 00:51:20,519
thirteen payments, of seven thousand French
pounds. Uh levers. I believe it

722
00:51:20,599 --> 00:51:23,039
was equivalent. I just I looked
this up. I did, I did

723
00:51:23,079 --> 00:51:25,599
do that. Oh my gosh,
it's a two and a half tons of

724
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:30,000
silver, which is and two and
a half tons of and two it was

725
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:35,679
two point twenty five hundred pounds of
gold and twenty five hundred pounds of silver.

726
00:51:36,159 --> 00:51:37,239
Yeah, so two and a half
tons, yeah, two and a

727
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:43,039
half tons, the first of thirteen
payments. Right, So if just the

728
00:51:43,119 --> 00:51:46,960
silver alone was worth like today,
one point seven million dollars, the gold

729
00:51:47,039 --> 00:51:51,320
was over five million. Yeah,
so do you know what the buying power

730
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:53,920
of that ship like, it's it's
it's just it doesn't make sense. Yeah,

731
00:51:54,079 --> 00:51:57,679
there's no way they could have ever
used that for anything other than to

732
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,199
just make like giant gold ships some
shit, right, I don't know if

733
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:05,440
Jeff Bezos of Vikings, oh no, like ten of them. Yeah,

734
00:52:05,599 --> 00:52:07,800
it makes they were paid. Yeah, so the goal the silver was what

735
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,599
you said, one point seven million, the gold was worth a little over

736
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:16,679
five million. That's insane, like
people made like in today in today's dollars.

737
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:21,760
Right. Oh, but Charles,
this was kind of like five million

738
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,559
and eight hundred would be like,
I don't know, it'd be like if

739
00:52:24,599 --> 00:52:29,400
Jeff Bezos landed on the moon and
figured out that under like eight feet of

740
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:37,960
dust was just a moon sized diamond, that would be Bases would take that.

741
00:52:37,159 --> 00:52:42,199
Yea, the moon, the space
is my bank. Yeah, He's

742
00:52:42,199 --> 00:52:45,480
like, I just swept off the
dust. It's all diamonds now built an

743
00:52:45,639 --> 00:52:49,119
Amazon warehouse for film and center around
the moon. Yeah, to keep it.

744
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:52,320
So Charles gives them this just under
the pretense that like, get the

745
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:55,000
fuck out, Like I had to
deal with my own country going in the

746
00:52:55,079 --> 00:53:00,239
Civil War, Yeah, I can't
deal with a bunch of Like does these

747
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:05,960
ridden Vikings in mice get you and
your Viking diarrhea for the Like, first

748
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,599
they ran the river sun red with
blood, ye, and then they ran

749
00:53:08,679 --> 00:53:14,079
it brown with Viking diarrhea. All
the fucking monasteries and yeah, took all

750
00:53:14,119 --> 00:53:19,280
that shite. A classic, a
classic Scandinavian move Burning probably did some pretty

751
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:25,440
progressive stuff with the female natives of
Paris. Yeah yeah, uh so he

752
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:30,920
ragnar agrees, but pillages France every
stop he can on the way out,

753
00:53:31,039 --> 00:53:35,960
because you know, why not Yeah, that was the best part, why

754
00:53:36,039 --> 00:53:38,320
not of the whole story was it's
like if you got kicked out of someone's

755
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:44,719
house after you made your point and
they like got you to leave and you

756
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,320
agreed to it, and just on
the way out, you like kicked over

757
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:52,280
the table in their foyer and we're
just like fuck you, and then or

758
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,119
just like put their fucking car on
blocks. Yeah. Yeah, Like you're

759
00:53:55,159 --> 00:54:00,440
walking down the driveway and you just
like like break out their car windows just

760
00:54:00,559 --> 00:54:02,960
for the shit of it, and
like take a fucking iPhone or iPod or

761
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,559
whatever out of the car. Like
you just take the radio out of the

762
00:54:06,639 --> 00:54:08,599
fucking car on the way out.
It's still mafia shit, Like it is

763
00:54:08,639 --> 00:54:12,320
so such a mafia move. Like
after they come rough you up for your

764
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:14,880
money, they take it and they're
like thanks, then they spit in your

765
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:17,440
face and like, Dad, you
gotta think the mafia took a lot of

766
00:54:17,679 --> 00:54:23,000
like notes from Vikings in history,
Yeah, for sure. Or maybe just

767
00:54:23,079 --> 00:54:27,360
all of humanity is just a bunch
of scumbags. That might be more it

768
00:54:27,559 --> 00:54:31,360
just what we've learned his history.
Mankind, we're all just fucking savages.

769
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:36,559
What's funny is you can't just blame
men for this, because there's open progressive

770
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:43,519
women can blame here, laying waste
these French folk. Yeah. Do you

771
00:54:43,559 --> 00:54:51,679
think the wind the Viking women raped? Ye? Absolutely not. What progressive?

772
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:53,920
Do you think that they're going to
touch some skinny French dude when they

773
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:59,639
have these vikings? Probably chick probably
checks Yeah, yeah, obviously no,

774
00:55:00,119 --> 00:55:04,320
any no skinny frenchman is gonna get
a boner? Yeah, well, or

775
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:07,960
satisfy them at all? Maybe they
yeah, for sure? By yeah,

776
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:10,360
yeah. Progress. That's like asking
like, do you think like if NBA,

777
00:55:12,039 --> 00:55:15,800
like NBA groupies can't find an NBA
player that go like get a circle

778
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:24,280
performance? Look at how he twirls
up there? Uh? Well, I

779
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:30,559
feel like there's a time and a
place for the really bad. Really Yeah,

780
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:36,360
keep going for Lucky Pierry. Yeah, Lucky Perry. Yeah, callack

781
00:55:37,159 --> 00:55:40,880
Lucky. We're so good at callbacks. Listen to every episode, Kylie,

782
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:44,639
Do you know what Lucky Pierres do? I want to know? Yeah,

783
00:55:44,639 --> 00:55:47,320
you do, and you should listen
to the episode. Listen to that one.

784
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:50,760
I feel like you should have listened
to that episode. Was it done

785
00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:52,800
here? Yes? Ye? How
to explain to I think it might?

786
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:59,000
I was I was using. I
was really camp us cavalierly using the term

787
00:55:59,119 --> 00:56:01,159
lucky pierres of everyone knew it,
like no one knows, but no one

788
00:56:01,239 --> 00:56:07,039
knew it. The lucky Pierre cavalier, Yeah, cavalier, cavaliers the word

789
00:56:07,199 --> 00:56:09,920
cavalier. Yeah, it's a good
word. I was. Yeah, my

790
00:56:10,199 --> 00:56:14,559
use of lucky Pierre was quite cavalier, considering I thought everyone knew it.

791
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:19,920
It's uh ignorance. When three people
to to do at least two dudes of

792
00:56:20,039 --> 00:56:23,360
the three are involved. Could be
three dudes but two girls. Oh yeah,

793
00:56:23,519 --> 00:56:28,360
are you describing porn? What are
we doing? That's a position.

794
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:30,119
I don't think. I don't think
it counts for the girls. I mean,

795
00:56:30,159 --> 00:56:32,599
I guess you can, just like
you can get Yeah, right,

796
00:56:32,679 --> 00:56:37,000
I'll say it counts with the girl, because I'm sure women get pleasure fucking

797
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:39,840
a guy or a guy or a
girl without just with the strap on,

798
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:42,880
even though I feel like you probably
don't get much back. But whatever,

799
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:44,760
I don't know. I don't know. I'm sure there's a dominator. I

800
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:45,719
don't know. Yeah, I don't
know what I'm talking about. Anyway,

801
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:50,960
A lucky Pierre is in the middle
of a threesome and they're getting fucked and

802
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:54,440
fucking. So there's a there,
there's a caboose, there's the middle who's

803
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:58,719
getting fucked by the caboose, and
then the middle person is also fucking the

804
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:02,000
front person. And that middle person
that is called Lucky Pierre. Yeah,

805
00:57:02,599 --> 00:57:07,320
so like Dan's behind me. Okay, so human you just described the plot

806
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:12,599
to human sent kind of but genitali
instead of mouths. Yeah, not as

807
00:57:12,679 --> 00:57:17,280
cool, not as cool. I
mean sewing someone's genitalia to another's sewing.

808
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:22,519
It's just putting. Yeah, no, take it out. It's the joyful

809
00:57:22,639 --> 00:57:25,639
human centipede. Yeah, okay,
yeah, it's a progressional, it's consensual

810
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:32,519
human sence. Yes, yeah,
typically show up. So Ragnar returns to

811
00:57:32,679 --> 00:57:37,119
King Horric, ruler of the Danes, with all of his lute, all

812
00:57:37,159 --> 00:57:40,400
this fucking silver and gold. But
fearing that the Ragnar and his men were

813
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:45,800
cursed by Saint Germain and the plague, he ordered the Christian captives they took

814
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:49,559
to be freed and to kill all
the Norsemen who returned with him. No.

815
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:52,760
Yeah, because they thought that the
that Saint Germain cursed them with the

816
00:57:53,239 --> 00:57:59,400
dysentery. Yes, and I want
to say even Ragnar fell before the king

817
00:58:00,119 --> 00:58:02,880
and was like, the only the
only opposition I met going into Paris broke

818
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:06,519
down. He's like, taking Paris
was the easiest thing I've ever done,

819
00:58:06,639 --> 00:58:13,039
except this dead ghost saint. Yes, So he ordered all those soldiers came

820
00:58:13,079 --> 00:58:16,039
back with him to common thing in
Christianity. By the way, in early

821
00:58:16,159 --> 00:58:20,840
Christianity, that happened too with Attila. The hun as legend has it,

822
00:58:21,559 --> 00:58:24,119
um fuck, I will look it
up real quick. The pope came out,

823
00:58:24,239 --> 00:58:31,280
Attila was gunna sack. Rome didn't
um and Attila came out and uh

824
00:58:32,119 --> 00:58:36,639
fuck, just said with belief in
yourself, don't I want to say.

825
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:42,159
Jesus showed up over his shoulder word
Jesus was and I was like, get

826
00:58:42,199 --> 00:58:45,639
the fuck out, And Attila was
like, whoa a ken Ragnar had a

827
00:58:45,679 --> 00:58:49,440
really complicated relationship Jesus, I like, I like Jesus just rolling down to

828
00:58:49,519 --> 00:58:52,840
Attila and him being like, Yo, bounce get out of here. I'm

829
00:58:52,840 --> 00:59:00,280
sorry. Uh, here's what we
have dubbed flagellum d I. Attila invaded

830
00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:02,960
North Italy in four fifty two,
so what four hundred years before this,

831
00:59:04,239 --> 00:59:07,559
but spared the city of Rome due
to the diplomacy of Pope Leo the first

832
00:59:07,599 --> 00:59:10,360
and the rough shape of his own
troops. Legend has it that Saint Peter

833
00:59:10,519 --> 00:59:15,760
and Saint Paul appeared to Attila,
threatening to strike him dead if he did

834
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:21,039
not settle with Pope Leo. Interesting, so Saint Germain saved, so Pope

835
00:59:21,119 --> 00:59:24,639
Leo came out. I think what
I had seen and this this was in

836
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:28,960
I actually learned this and um Age
of Vampires too. Did you guys play

837
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:35,519
that? Yeah, yeah, it's
great. Anyboys have a land party soon

838
00:59:35,599 --> 00:59:37,920
and play together. Yeah, it
was in that in that game anyway,

839
00:59:38,039 --> 00:59:43,280
Like they appeared over his shoulders,
so over each of the Pope's shoulders was

840
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:45,480
Saint Paul, Saint Peter, and
they're like, we'll kill you. Yeah,

841
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:54,119
and until it was like whoa.
So the Annals of Zanton have an

842
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:59,360
entry in ety for the year a
forty five, because it wasn't written until

843
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:01,719
eight seventy three, but their entry
for the year eight forty five. So

844
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:07,800
again take it with whatever you want. Say that a Ragnar died in eight

845
01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:14,000
forty five. I like to think
he uh, he gotta wait, he

846
01:00:14,039 --> 01:00:17,280
didn't. He didn't get murdered by
the king. Was sas no no,

847
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:22,880
no, So this is so the
Pitto snakes that that's the whole legend of

848
01:00:23,159 --> 01:00:28,719
Ragnar. So like this, at
this point, we only know this Ragnar

849
01:00:29,039 --> 01:00:31,719
for France, for Frankia, for
Paris. He goes back, his men

850
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:36,039
get slaughtered by the king he served
and gets gold and silver too. Yeah,

851
01:00:36,119 --> 01:00:42,960
because of the plague and this thing. The chronicles that were written like

852
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:50,599
forty fifty years later say that a
Ragnar died in eighty five. Okay,

853
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:58,719
but there there there is documentation of
a Ragnar in the Anglo Saxon Chronicle,

854
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:01,880
which was compiled in eight ninety,
which is England. It's English history,

855
01:01:02,079 --> 01:01:07,719
right, So my faught process is, or what I like to believe is

856
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:13,920
he obviously doesn't get executed and he
moves on to England because there is there

857
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,800
is an invasion of Ragnar's sons in
England. Was that the Heathen Army?

858
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:22,639
Yeah, the Heathen Army, which
is a fucking great name for like the

859
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:28,159
eight seventies, was that that was
eight sixty five of them? Okay?

860
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:31,000
Yeah, So I believe and I
read this like the whole story of the

861
01:01:31,079 --> 01:01:37,159
Heathen Army, the great Heathen Army. My apologies, the great respect on

862
01:01:37,239 --> 01:01:39,000
that name. Yeah, God,
I don't want the ghost of Ragnar coming

863
01:01:39,079 --> 01:01:43,800
to get me or I are the
bumbless. That doesn't sound like a spooky

864
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,920
guy. That sounds like a guy. No, that sounds worse. Imagine

865
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:50,519
a ghost just slopping over to you. Yeah, it's not intimidating, it's

866
01:01:50,559 --> 01:01:52,920
creepy. Yeah, but he used
the blood eagal people. You know what

867
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:54,079
that is? No? Tell me, okay, do you want me to

868
01:01:54,119 --> 01:01:57,440
look up the actual term? Yeah? Yeah, tell me what you don't

869
01:01:57,480 --> 01:01:58,840
even know? You're like, do
we tell you what it is? I

870
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:00,800
know what it is. We'll tell
us what I want. I want it

871
01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:04,320
to be as like accurate as possible. You want to put some precision?

872
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:07,440
Is this? Yeah? Is this
like the lucky Pierre of murder? It's

873
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:15,960
a ritual method of execution detailed in
Skaldic poetry, where you place in a

874
01:02:16,079 --> 01:02:21,960
pro position, the ribs are severed
through the spine with a sharp tool and

875
01:02:22,079 --> 01:02:24,760
their lungs pulled through the open end
to create a pair of wings. Oh,

876
01:02:24,920 --> 01:02:28,920
man, have you seen midsomer romantic? It's also in vikings. Have

877
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:30,440
you ever seen midsommer? Though they
do it a midsommer to do a kid

878
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:35,159
yeah, spoiler. Yeah, I've
never seen that. So they've ripped pretty

879
01:02:35,239 --> 01:02:38,320
much your inners out to wings out
of your bag. Yeah, do you

880
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:40,519
get to watch it? This is
you know what, This is the flip

881
01:02:40,559 --> 01:02:45,000
side show you in the movie.
I'm not going to tell you. This

882
01:02:45,159 --> 01:02:51,199
is the flip side of us bitching
about like social media and phones and stuff

883
01:02:51,239 --> 01:02:53,360
as people who had way too much
time on their hands back then. Can

884
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:58,920
you imagine if to just get creative
with with torture and yes, execution Seriously,

885
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:00,800
though, how many how many rabbits
did that? Did some sick kid

886
01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:06,480
have to try that on before he
eventually rose to like some low lower middle

887
01:03:06,519 --> 01:03:09,079
class level like executioner position, and
then was like what do you do?

888
01:03:09,280 --> 01:03:14,280
Like, uh, he stole like
twenty apples? Do we care about him?

889
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:16,639
No, nobody cares about him.
Can I try something? And he

890
01:03:16,719 --> 01:03:20,199
became an employee of the month.
Yeah, that's it. They're like,

891
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:24,599
oh my god, there you are. They're so progressive. A serial killers?

892
01:03:24,599 --> 01:03:29,159
A serial killer? Well, I
mean the next all executioners are serial

893
01:03:29,239 --> 01:03:32,920
killer? Yeah, technically experimenting on
human bodies as science. Science is progressive.

894
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:37,280
They were progressive full stop. Yeah. Goebel's huge progressive. Yes,

895
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:42,440
yes, sons of Ragnar invade England
in eight sixty five to avenge their father's

896
01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:46,079
death. So there's a twenty year
gap between where he supposedly died at the

897
01:03:46,159 --> 01:03:50,840
hands of the Danish king in eight
forty five, which was documented thirty years

898
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:53,880
later, and when the sons of
Ragnar avenge his death in a completely different

899
01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:59,159
country. So you had to think
he got away and did his thing in

900
01:03:59,239 --> 01:04:02,079
England. Yeah, scy Dan,
Well, yeah, a little conspiracy,

901
01:04:02,159 --> 01:04:08,360
a little mythology and aliens. Well
like every did it? Every like?

902
01:04:09,679 --> 01:04:13,519
Uh? Story told of Ragnar ends
with him dying in a snake pit in

903
01:04:13,679 --> 01:04:17,679
England. Okay, question for the
Catholics here um, which is kind of

904
01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:23,760
a poetic because he obviously beheaded that
serpent. Yeah, if you get a

905
01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:26,639
second wife, and then killed a
dumb little snake and was like, that's

906
01:04:26,679 --> 01:04:29,679
a dragon. Tell everyone, it's
the dragon. What were the snakes of

907
01:04:30,239 --> 01:04:33,559
that the guy Saint Patrick got out
of Ireland? What were they and what

908
01:04:33,639 --> 01:04:35,800
time are they around? It was
all snakes, so it was more than

909
01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:39,599
one He chased all of the snakes. It was more than one species.

910
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:43,920
No, but like, what what
was the snakes referring to like what faction.

911
01:04:45,519 --> 01:04:47,679
No, they weren't actual snakes.
I know they weren't snakes. The

912
01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:53,000
Bible says snakes. No, weren't
they like people that shouldn't like that.

913
01:04:53,119 --> 01:04:56,039
Were there snakes in the grass something
like that? What is the actual snakes

914
01:04:56,079 --> 01:04:58,760
in the grass? There was just
regular snakes. He did not get snakes

915
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,639
out of it out of Ireland.
If you're trying to compare people to a

916
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:08,159
lizard, I hate that you're keeping
this. It's not some big Catholic mystery.

917
01:05:08,239 --> 01:05:12,239
Now I have to look it up. You know when people call Jews

918
01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:16,880
lizards on the internet, I always
defend you. I'm one saint. Patrick

919
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:20,840
was one of your boys. Yeah, he fought the snakes. You weren't

920
01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:24,679
a snakes. I'm a confirmation name, Patrick. I just I just don't

921
01:05:24,679 --> 01:05:29,039
think anyone should be called a reptile. People are people you don't like confirmation

922
01:05:29,159 --> 01:05:31,760
names. You didn't have a confirmation
name. I've we don't do that in

923
01:05:31,920 --> 01:05:35,559
my religion. What are you?
Oh we're non denominational. Oh yeah,

924
01:05:35,679 --> 01:05:41,880
so you take the snakes coward the
church? Like, if it doesn't bite

925
01:05:41,960 --> 01:05:45,239
me, the Lord exists, so
yeah, and if it but if it

926
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:48,000
does bite me the Lord wanted it
to. I like to think there's a

927
01:05:48,039 --> 01:05:54,400
little truth to him. Obviously,
pillage in England and all those stories that

928
01:05:54,639 --> 01:05:58,880
kind of came about a few hundred
years later. He probably did, probably

929
01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:00,440
did. There was a lot,
I mean a lot of people's theory,

930
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:06,320
but also people could steal the name. It's just multiple people. It really

931
01:06:06,440 --> 01:06:10,719
was just snakes, wasn't it.
Yeah, I thought it was like snakes

932
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:15,440
was like a term. I really
thought m for like the black can.

933
01:06:15,639 --> 01:06:17,760
You know, in like World War
One, it was just snakes. But

934
01:06:18,119 --> 01:06:23,159
me and Rob know that we can
run with it. With Jake. Yeah,

935
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:26,880
he's gonna go nuts. You're gonna
have to recall the Book of Genesis,

936
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:30,880
chapter one or whatever. The snake
shows up the first name. People

937
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:35,320
just fucking hate snakes. Genesis chapter
one. Let I believe it was Snake

938
01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:40,440
starts with Heaven in the Europe.
Yeah, it's like chapter or whatever.

939
01:06:40,599 --> 01:06:43,519
Whenever the serpent shows up gives you
an apple. I don't know why you

940
01:06:43,519 --> 01:06:46,199
would ever take an apple from snake. I don't know, man, I

941
01:06:46,199 --> 01:06:50,440
don't want that apple. You can't. Don't people their experiences. That's true.

942
01:06:50,480 --> 01:06:54,719
It's because it was mushrooms. Bro, don't king it was actually mushrooms.

943
01:06:55,039 --> 01:06:57,639
Yeah, it wasn't an apple at
all. Honestly, there's a fucking

944
01:06:57,719 --> 01:07:01,599
like fifty percent chance if I gave
you enough LSD and set it up so

945
01:07:01,639 --> 01:07:04,360
it looked like a snake was offering
you an apple, you'd fucking take it.

946
01:07:04,440 --> 01:07:08,400
Think it's a real snake offering it. I'll take an apple from any

947
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:11,960
animal, but a snake, any
animal, snake. If a talking animal

948
01:07:12,079 --> 01:07:14,679
came up to you and offer you
an apple, you would take it like

949
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,400
just a full pass, except for
from a snake. I don't like snakes.

950
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:24,039
The bigger problem here is that you
should not take fruit from any talking

951
01:07:24,079 --> 01:07:28,440
animal. Why wouldn't you. I
would most certainly take a piece of fruit

952
01:07:28,519 --> 01:07:32,960
from a talking animal that's not a
snake. Snakes are distrustful what any reptile,

953
01:07:34,199 --> 01:07:38,360
So now you probably can't trust a
reptile in general, cold blooded.

954
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:43,039
But like if a monkey came up
to you, I would take an apple

955
01:07:43,079 --> 01:07:45,800
from an iguana. Really, they
seem pretty chill for lizard. Yeah,

956
01:07:45,960 --> 01:07:50,119
yeah, well you still get salmonella? Do they have that chameleon? Yeah?

957
01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:54,679
You don't want it from that?
Yeah, I'd take it from I

958
01:07:54,719 --> 01:07:57,639
would take an apple from a chimp, but I wouldn't take it from a

959
01:07:57,719 --> 01:08:02,480
smaller, trickier monkey. Nothing with
a tail, yeah, exactly. The

960
01:08:02,559 --> 01:08:08,840
tailed monkeys are the mischievous water sneaks. Yeah, Grilla, for whatever reason

961
01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:11,679
with with a with apes and monkeys. The bigger they get, the more

962
01:08:11,719 --> 01:08:15,239
I trust them, except for baboons, except in a fight, because they'll

963
01:08:15,280 --> 01:08:18,039
just break. Planet of the Apes
is based on a true story set in

964
01:08:18,079 --> 01:08:23,039
the future. Yes. Yeah,
well I'll die on this hill. It

965
01:08:23,199 --> 01:08:27,399
was set on a true set.
Wait, it's based on a true story

966
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:31,159
that's set in the future. Yeah, so someone essentially time traveled back to

967
01:08:31,239 --> 01:08:34,560
write Planet of the Apes. Yeah? Is that? Are you just winging

968
01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:39,680
it? No? I don't.
You don't fuck with monkeys apes. No,

969
01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:44,159
all apes and monkeys are bad.
Yes, sorry, one last decide

970
01:08:44,159 --> 01:08:46,560
and I'll let that keep going.
I saw this thing done anyway, Okay,

971
01:08:47,279 --> 01:08:51,000
I can't tell you about things that
happened that aren't confirmed. He died

972
01:08:51,039 --> 01:08:54,920
in eight forty five, allegedly in
a pit snake. The fuck up the

973
01:08:55,199 --> 01:08:57,520
Pitto Snakes real quick, by the
way, he died in the Pitis Snakes

974
01:08:57,560 --> 01:09:01,800
in like eighteen sixties. The eighteen
six, Like they're not avenge or yeah,

975
01:09:01,840 --> 01:09:09,159
the eight sixty five sixty five,
so he probably dies somewhere in eight

976
01:09:09,319 --> 01:09:14,560
sixty Yeah, a few a few
years to avenge your dad. It was

977
01:09:14,600 --> 01:09:17,079
hard to make it out of the
sixties. Man. You don't wait twenty

978
01:09:17,199 --> 01:09:23,279
years to go to a completely different
country to avenge your dad. I don't

979
01:09:23,319 --> 01:09:29,239
think you wait maybe twenty years.
But they don't look at time the same

980
01:09:29,319 --> 01:09:31,680
way we look at times. I
mean, so essentially, once that first

981
01:09:31,920 --> 01:09:35,199
snow or whatever hits, like,
you're just stuck, you know what I

982
01:09:35,239 --> 01:09:40,399
mean, Like the seasons means it's
we have a different I would I would

983
01:09:40,479 --> 01:09:44,960
venture that we barely have the same
comprehension of time. Yeah. True,

984
01:09:45,279 --> 01:09:48,520
I mean they probably go by just
like one winter to winter, right,

985
01:09:48,640 --> 01:09:54,399
it's like Game of THRONESZ. Yeah, oh that makes sense. No,

986
01:09:55,359 --> 01:10:00,399
But going back to the apes real
quick. I saw this thing where they

987
01:10:00,840 --> 01:10:04,920
used like crisper to like make a
chimp or something like that. It's like

988
01:10:05,039 --> 01:10:14,319
brain developed better. What it's genetic
it's gene modification technology. Yeah, it's

989
01:10:14,359 --> 01:10:15,880
like this is really how this movie
starts, you know that? Right?

990
01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:19,119
Like literally yeah, like why would
you do that? So? Oh,

991
01:10:19,199 --> 01:10:21,840
let's make them. Let's make him
as smart as people. So are you

992
01:10:21,880 --> 01:10:26,920
against making apes smarter? Yes,
that's not very progressive. I didn't say

993
01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:30,399
I was progressive. I said the
Vikings were progressive. That's fair, that's

994
01:10:30,479 --> 01:10:35,279
fair. Yeah, she's a hardcore
conservative. We reached She's right a fashion

995
01:10:35,399 --> 01:10:42,359
How dare you not give apes our
brains? Anyway? Yeah, So that's

996
01:10:42,399 --> 01:10:47,399
the story of Ragnar Lothbrook, Regnar
Seagards, Viking, Jesus Viking Jesus.

997
01:10:47,720 --> 01:10:51,880
Yeah, I looked him up on
Twitter. Oh yeah, Twitter, he's

998
01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:58,720
verified. Ragnar Lothbrook's verified. No, I believe there's a Ragnar Sigurdson that

999
01:10:58,840 --> 01:11:01,239
was like a soccer player. Oh
true, No, which is no Google.

1000
01:11:01,279 --> 01:11:06,039
Look, he's verified. He tweets
super talking to the mic relatable things

1001
01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:15,560
like what olind it it's not just
the USAF. Yeah there's a verified guy.

1002
01:11:16,159 --> 01:11:20,359
No, this is the fucking guy. He's got the his avatar or

1003
01:11:20,359 --> 01:11:25,880
whatever. His picture is the dude
from the show. Yeah, it's just

1004
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:28,079
the guy. It's just a guy
from the show. Yeah, it's the

1005
01:11:28,119 --> 01:11:33,680
guy from the show. No,
it's not it's not fucking is red he

1006
01:11:33,960 --> 01:11:40,319
Well he got crazy? Then the
grind of what acting he's playing video game.

1007
01:11:41,399 --> 01:11:44,399
I guess I'll bless my fans with
this amazing clutch. No need to

1008
01:11:44,479 --> 01:11:46,279
think. I don't know what that
fucking you know heart stage combat classes,

1009
01:11:46,920 --> 01:11:50,279
you know hard, that is the
grind of stage combat. Describe it.

1010
01:11:50,960 --> 01:11:54,119
I've never the Vikings. Actually,
that kid, I can't stomach it.

1011
01:11:54,479 --> 01:11:58,760
Man Regnar loth Brock is a total
millennial too. He's a tweet I make

1012
01:11:58,840 --> 01:12:06,279
my bed to trick my cell into
thinking I'm not a degenerate, huhatable grind

1013
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:12,560
about what the grind fucking god tweet
someone with the bowls here? Well,

1014
01:12:12,720 --> 01:12:15,479
dude, we like we said the
Vikings were about Cloud. Yeah, they

1015
01:12:15,520 --> 01:12:18,399
would. They would really actually,
if they were about Cloud, they would

1016
01:12:18,479 --> 01:12:21,960
love Twitter and Instagram. They would
just be like yo, just blood eagled

1017
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:27,159
this dude, But they hate.
They'd be really good at captions too.

1018
01:12:28,319 --> 01:12:30,880
I get them. Yeah, always
on that grind, like they just take

1019
01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:32,640
it. They take a selfie on
the boat in the middle of the ocean,

1020
01:12:32,880 --> 01:12:35,199
like always on that grind. They'd
be like them in the on Twitter,

1021
01:12:35,319 --> 01:12:43,039
there's no there. They're tiktoker's yet
no written word, just like action

1022
01:12:43,239 --> 01:12:47,880
all action. Yeah, it's like
like there's just someone's like someone's blown into

1023
01:12:47,920 --> 01:12:51,920
a horn while they're just like pulling
the guy's rib cage open. Yeah,

1024
01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:58,039
and then they'd like shoot a flaming
arrow into Ragnar's coffin. Viking funerals.

1025
01:12:58,239 --> 01:13:01,640
Yeah, he actually in the show
they have when they invade Paris, they

1026
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:05,039
fake Ragnar's death, they have a
funeral for him, and then he pops

1027
01:13:05,039 --> 01:13:09,640
out of the coffin. No way. So spoiler looking, rad that's sick.

1028
01:13:09,800 --> 01:13:13,079
This whole episode has been nothing but
spoiler alert. I know. Um,

1029
01:13:13,399 --> 01:13:16,960
so just really grotesque deaths. I
sent Robin Dan after my John Smith

1030
01:13:17,039 --> 01:13:20,039
episode a little fun factoid I want
to read for an audience real quick.

1031
01:13:20,199 --> 01:13:25,279
Yeah, it's a guy, so, um, the guy that was there

1032
01:13:25,399 --> 01:13:30,159
after John Smith. The guy that
was there after John Smith left it because

1033
01:13:30,239 --> 01:13:34,800
John Smith had a good relationship with
the Peloton tribe. That guy didn't give

1034
01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:39,880
a shit about the Peloton tribe.
So they captured him and they skinned him

1035
01:13:40,039 --> 01:13:45,359
alive with muscle shells and they saved
his face for last Yeah, so he

1036
01:13:45,399 --> 01:13:48,399
could be he could bear witness to
the whole thing and feeling John Smith would

1037
01:13:48,399 --> 01:13:53,640
have been good Viking. Oh,
he basically was a Viking. He was

1038
01:13:53,880 --> 01:13:56,920
he was a pirate and a warrior. Yeah, he was a Viking except

1039
01:13:57,039 --> 01:14:02,079
trade raping and bore me and pillaging
for killing turks? Are pirate and Viking

1040
01:14:02,159 --> 01:14:09,000
interchangeable? Kind of or what the
word pirate and viking? They have the

1041
01:14:09,039 --> 01:14:13,520
same meaning, um, different time
frames, same thing. They were pretty

1042
01:14:13,560 --> 01:14:18,520
mus raid and they like attack land. They had very They had almost no

1043
01:14:18,640 --> 01:14:24,159
sea engagements. They didn't they didn't
fight it, but they would still.

1044
01:14:24,199 --> 01:14:27,760
I guarantee you like pull ships over, you know what I mean, like

1045
01:14:27,920 --> 01:14:31,439
follow them until they got to land, which which a lot of pirates did

1046
01:14:31,479 --> 01:14:34,279
as well and said they would.
Essentially, they would still take ships,

1047
01:14:34,520 --> 01:14:38,560
they would just have to wait longer
sometimes, whereas like you know, a

1048
01:14:38,600 --> 01:14:43,199
pirate ship can just do it at
sea. And that's the difference. And

1049
01:14:43,399 --> 01:14:46,960
that is softcore history. Make sure
to ray subscribe, so give us a

1050
01:14:47,039 --> 01:14:51,720
like, give us some follows.
Whatever about the podcast. Subscribe on YouTube,

1051
01:14:51,880 --> 01:14:56,840
Subscribe on YouTube. Listen it's available
wherever podcasts are found. It's all

1052
01:14:56,840 --> 01:15:00,800
your friends, even if they have
androids, they can listen to this Spotify

1053
01:15:00,199 --> 01:15:04,119
iTunes. I can't tell my friends
because you objectified me within five minutes of

1054
01:15:04,199 --> 01:15:08,960
it, so barely are your friends
gonna shame you for dating them, because

1055
01:15:09,079 --> 01:15:14,319
I already do. Like this is
the worst thing about me. That's true.

1056
01:15:14,520 --> 01:15:17,840
Yeah, the podcasters kind of fire
up there, But what's wrong with

1057
01:15:17,960 --> 01:15:23,840
three white, uh straight white men
in their thirties podcasting thirty. I'm not

1058
01:15:23,920 --> 01:15:27,920
thirty yet either, just me.
Yeah, we're in or late twenties.

1059
01:15:28,159 --> 01:15:30,359
Wow, we got six months,
we got six months. We gotta we

1060
01:15:30,479 --> 01:15:33,239
gotta die, dude, we gotta
die. Gary V says we're allowed to

1061
01:15:33,319 --> 01:15:39,520
fuck up these last six months.
And so we're thirty, you can get

1062
01:15:39,520 --> 01:15:45,479
a savings account. Maybe when you're
thirty. I won't go there anyway.

1063
01:15:46,159 --> 01:15:50,079
Thank you for tuning in for Rob
Fox, Jake Oldman, Kylie Fuller,

1064
01:15:51,279 --> 01:15:55,800
Well, thanks for showing up.
I am damage yester, and you just

1065
01:15:55,960 --> 01:15:57,199
got sauce served.