WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:11.759 This is pod Populi Podcast for the People, The Great Love Debate. It's 2 00:00:11.800 --> 00:00:18.160 the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Toba. 3 00:00:19.160 --> 00:00:23.640 Hi again, Everyone's Brian Howie. Welcome to the Great Love Debate, 4 00:00:23.679 --> 00:00:27.559 the world's number one dating and relationship podcasts. It's twenty and fifteen. I 5 00:00:27.640 --> 00:00:31.839 am here in the very fine studios of pod Populi Podcasts for the People. 6 00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:36.880 I'm the one in Scottsdale. As you know, I love Scottsdale. Um. 7 00:00:37.719 --> 00:00:40.560 So last week's episode if you're listening to these in order, and if 8 00:00:40.600 --> 00:00:43.920 you're not, hey, so what last week I talked? I The title 9 00:00:43.920 --> 00:00:47.719 of the episode was Forgetting the Familiar. Got a lot of people riled up, 10 00:00:48.159 --> 00:00:50.880 a lot of people didn't agree with me, but I think everybody agrees 11 00:00:50.960 --> 00:00:56.359 with me that the answers to whatever you're looking for ten to lie outside of 12 00:00:56.359 --> 00:01:02.479 your comfort zone. And So I did a podcast about a year ago, 13 00:01:02.840 --> 00:01:06.879 half a year ago, somewhere in twenty twenty two, and it was called 14 00:01:06.959 --> 00:01:10.280 Love Where You Least Expect It. And I had my guest on and I'm 15 00:01:10.280 --> 00:01:12.840 bringing her back in today because we're gonna both get an update and talk about 16 00:01:12.920 --> 00:01:18.000 a lot of things. Her name is Sarah Held. At the time, 17 00:01:18.079 --> 00:01:21.359 she was the co host of the Housewives of Golf podcast. Now she's gone 18 00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:25.280 out on her own and her podcast is called Switching Teams. That's out of 19 00:01:25.319 --> 00:01:29.280 a side note, but it's sort of tangentially related. I want hi, 20 00:01:29.319 --> 00:01:30.719 Sarah. How are you hi? Brian? How are you? I want 21 00:01:30.719 --> 00:01:36.159 you to talk about how the first time? How did this all come about? 22 00:01:37.920 --> 00:01:42.400 You came on the podcast and you sprung something on me. But let's 23 00:01:42.439 --> 00:01:46.560 go back. We met about a year ago and I told you get on 24 00:01:46.599 --> 00:01:49.760 the dating apps. What did I tell you? No? So, you 25 00:01:49.799 --> 00:01:53.400 know, every time my old co host and I would come into the studio, 26 00:01:53.719 --> 00:01:57.959 we would always just start talking about probably my dating life at some point, 27 00:01:57.000 --> 00:02:00.439 because people tend to talk to me about this stuff like yeah, like 28 00:02:00.439 --> 00:02:01.959 that's my thing, and it was really non existent, to be honest. 29 00:02:02.719 --> 00:02:06.079 And you had asked me a few times, do you like the girl or 30 00:02:06.120 --> 00:02:07.439 whatever? And I was like, no, No, I like guys, 31 00:02:07.639 --> 00:02:15.360 like dudes. I like penises, you know, PENI penises that could be 32 00:02:15.400 --> 00:02:19.319 PENI. Yeah. So you said, all of a sudden one day you 33 00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:21.000 go, hey, I want to have you on the pod, And I 34 00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:23.759 said, oh boy, what are we going to talk about? You said, 35 00:02:23.840 --> 00:02:25.199 well, what dating apps are you on? I said none, I'm 36 00:02:25.240 --> 00:02:30.360 not interested. Too busy, did it? You said, get back on 37 00:02:30.520 --> 00:02:32.919 bumble. Let's get you on the podcast. We're gonna swipe live on the 38 00:02:32.960 --> 00:02:36.919 air. And immediately I'm like, okay, I'm into that. I like 39 00:02:37.039 --> 00:02:39.360 that, like real time experiment with somebody who'd been out of the loop. 40 00:02:39.520 --> 00:02:42.919 Yeah, we threw you back in the deep end of the pool, which 41 00:02:42.919 --> 00:02:46.000 I'm I'm all for it. But I couldn't wait. Like, I went 42 00:02:46.039 --> 00:02:49.199 home and I was like, screw it, grabbed bottle of wine, opened 43 00:02:49.199 --> 00:02:53.319 the wine, and I guess my profile from twenty twenty when I was on 44 00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:57.159 for like three days, was still there. I didn't change anything. And 45 00:02:57.199 --> 00:03:00.719 then so I'm swiping, swiping, swiping. Maybe swiped one guy right and 46 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:06.120 it was like a reach. It really was. I'm like him, like 47 00:03:06.319 --> 00:03:08.680 for him, he was not he was okay. I was solid six. 48 00:03:08.840 --> 00:03:12.919 Yeah. So then all of a sudden, I gotta pop up that says 49 00:03:12.919 --> 00:03:15.120 you've swiped through the whole city, so I know. Yeah, so I 50 00:03:15.159 --> 00:03:20.680 had to broaden my horizons farther away, older, younger, swipe through the 51 00:03:20.680 --> 00:03:23.719 city again, and I'm like this, this is a big city. Did 52 00:03:23.719 --> 00:03:28.280 you get like carpeal tunnels? I went, it was like down to Tucson. 53 00:03:28.360 --> 00:03:31.840 I was in different states. I'm like Jesus, so I um was 54 00:03:31.879 --> 00:03:34.840 like, this is why I'm single. This is the pool of men that 55 00:03:34.879 --> 00:03:38.800 I have to choose from. Now, just back up a second, um, 56 00:03:39.919 --> 00:03:43.479 what was your parameters of what you were looking for? What was the 57 00:03:43.520 --> 00:03:46.599 age? Was it like, because you shouldn't be able to blow through everybody 58 00:03:46.599 --> 00:03:52.960 that quick? The original one, the original probably thirty five to fifty five. 59 00:03:53.199 --> 00:03:55.599 That's a huge pool. Yeah, okay, so it wasn't like so 60 00:03:55.719 --> 00:04:00.800 you went through a twenty year period and the and your geographic parameters twenty miles 61 00:04:00.159 --> 00:04:03.919 to begin with, probably twenty okay, so twenty years and twenty miles and 62 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:10.120 you found one. Maybe there was maybe three? And now are you traditionally 63 00:04:10.199 --> 00:04:15.240 picky when you're sober? I mean yeah, but not like I'm not picky, 64 00:04:15.360 --> 00:04:19.399 like after the gorgeous men. Usually it has to be a good personality. 65 00:04:19.519 --> 00:04:23.879 Okay, so I mean they still have to be attractive, but right, 66 00:04:23.920 --> 00:04:26.199 but when you're swiping through and saying no, no, no, no, 67 00:04:26.279 --> 00:04:30.480 how are you gauging the personality by reading his okay, there was no 68 00:04:30.600 --> 00:04:34.279 impish humor. Yeah it was bad, Okay, I know I'm not. 69 00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:36.279 Just screamed. And then I think we've talked about this. There was a 70 00:04:36.319 --> 00:04:41.000 lot of pictures with small dogs and cats, and that's an immediate swipe left 71 00:04:41.079 --> 00:04:46.839 for me immediately. Okay, cats in general are just small cats, cats 72 00:04:46.839 --> 00:04:49.000 in general and small dogs and small dogs. Yeah, fair enough, You're 73 00:04:49.120 --> 00:04:55.680 you're out, okay, zip bye okay. Um. So I was probably 74 00:04:55.800 --> 00:05:00.279 three glasses of wine in now, and I'm like, Jesus, so you 75 00:05:00.279 --> 00:05:01.519 know what, let's go see what this side has to offer. And I 76 00:05:01.560 --> 00:05:08.319 just clicked the girls and like first four girls on there, I was like, 77 00:05:08.480 --> 00:05:13.000 oh no, I don't think I'm attracted to girls. Then all of 78 00:05:13.040 --> 00:05:15.319 a sudden, like the fifth one, I see this girl and I was 79 00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:20.600 like, whoa, she's hot, and I nervously swiped, and I shut 80 00:05:20.600 --> 00:05:30.079 down the app because you tingling. Yeah, everything was tingling, and so 81 00:05:30.199 --> 00:05:32.480 you thought, what is this weird feeling I'm having? Yeah? Yeah, 82 00:05:32.519 --> 00:05:38.439 so you swiped and then shut down. Oh yeah, and then what And 83 00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:44.040 then in the morning I got a message from her, so she had clearly 84 00:05:44.079 --> 00:05:47.959 swiped. So in the girls in the Girl Girl world, either one can 85 00:05:48.120 --> 00:05:51.800 message, So I I didn't know any of this, right she did? 86 00:05:53.040 --> 00:05:56.319 Apparently, yes, either one can because in the man in the girl guy 87 00:05:56.439 --> 00:05:58.639 world, she yea, she has to make the move. But I did 88 00:05:58.639 --> 00:06:00.800 not know that. Okay, I guess I should have thought about that. 89 00:06:00.839 --> 00:06:04.959 But yeah, I thought if you swiped, you had to wait for them 90 00:06:05.240 --> 00:06:08.920 right to swipe, and then you find out you're a match. Like if 91 00:06:09.480 --> 00:06:11.800 I guess if she would have swiped person, then I would have matched, 92 00:06:11.839 --> 00:06:15.920 right, I probably would have messaged first. So she must have found you 93 00:06:15.959 --> 00:06:25.120 attractive. Apparently she found me attractive. I appeared to be single because apparently 94 00:06:25.160 --> 00:06:30.360 that's an issue on the girl girls side. Apparently there's a lot of girls 95 00:06:30.519 --> 00:06:33.160 that are on there that are in relationships with men that are just looking for 96 00:06:33.199 --> 00:06:36.360 someone to add, either on the side or to add into the relationship. 97 00:06:36.439 --> 00:06:44.759 Oh a third that's like yeah, okay, wow, I feel so out 98 00:06:44.759 --> 00:06:48.600 of the loop. Okay, So she reaches out and says, what uh, 99 00:06:48.639 --> 00:06:51.839 because remember I didn't have my name on there. I didn't have my 100 00:06:51.959 --> 00:06:57.439 name. It was s a oh yeah, and I don't have no idea 101 00:06:57.439 --> 00:07:02.959 what that stands for, but it was okay, yeah, and so I 102 00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:08.879 think she said, what's your name and what's your cute pup's name? Oh, 103 00:07:08.879 --> 00:07:11.920 so you're allowed to have a small dog, big dogs, I've seen 104 00:07:11.920 --> 00:07:15.720 your dogs. Okay, okay, that's a good line that would work either 105 00:07:15.759 --> 00:07:17.560 way. That would work heterosexual or the other. What's your dog's name? 106 00:07:17.800 --> 00:07:20.720 And I was like giddy. I was like, oh my god, she 107 00:07:20.839 --> 00:07:25.480 messaged me. Did you remember her from the night before? Oh a million 108 00:07:25.560 --> 00:07:29.800 percent? Because I woke up like nervous, like I'm gonna be really bombed 109 00:07:29.800 --> 00:07:32.519 if she doesn't. Now was it? What were her pictures and what was 110 00:07:32.560 --> 00:07:36.279 in her profile? Do you remember? Yeah? She had a picture of 111 00:07:36.319 --> 00:07:40.279 her snowboarding, but it was like with a crop every picture is pretty much 112 00:07:40.319 --> 00:07:44.800 crop top, which rightfully, so she deserves to wear one, right Um. 113 00:07:44.839 --> 00:07:47.399 So it's like picture of her snowboarding with a crop top, picture of 114 00:07:47.399 --> 00:07:51.120 her with her dog, which would probably work with dudes too. Oh yeah 115 00:07:51.240 --> 00:07:56.800 yeah, and she I think for a while she was on both okay. 116 00:07:57.160 --> 00:08:01.279 Um. In fact, one of my guy friends up recognized her picture and 117 00:08:01.319 --> 00:08:03.839 said, oh I used to be talking to her on bumble. I'm like, 118 00:08:03.959 --> 00:08:05.000 no way, he's probably going to scared her over there, like go 119 00:08:05.040 --> 00:08:07.560 well, guess who closed the deal and you didn't. Yeah, okay, 120 00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:11.920 so she says, hey, what's your dog's name? And then are you 121 00:08:11.959 --> 00:08:16.120 like I've never done and so to be clear, you have never I have 122 00:08:16.199 --> 00:08:18.160 never dated a woman. I never never slept with a woman. I have 123 00:08:18.240 --> 00:08:22.519 never kissed a girl drunk in a bar, not a random girl. Like 124 00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:24.519 it was like the friends. So you're like, oh, let's do a 125 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:30.759 little pets get these guys going okay, it's so dumb. Yeah, and 126 00:08:30.800 --> 00:08:33.399 then that's it, like never thought about it really, Like, so does 127 00:08:33.480 --> 00:08:37.879 she ask what are you doing here? Do you normally date girls? Do 128 00:08:37.879 --> 00:08:39.240 you know? Like like what is the process here? And not to sound 129 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:43.559 like some naive straight dude here, but I have some questions. So that's 130 00:08:43.559 --> 00:08:46.720 what I meant, and I appreciate that, and I was expecting that at 131 00:08:46.720 --> 00:08:48.720 the gate. It did not come out the gate. That question didn't come 132 00:08:48.759 --> 00:08:54.759 up for I think two days. We It was a religious small talk okay, 133 00:08:54.039 --> 00:08:58.240 like and it was immediate, constant, and then all of a sudden, 134 00:08:58.440 --> 00:09:03.120 I get I know this is going to be a random question and come 135 00:09:03.159 --> 00:09:07.840 off weird because we swiped each other. But you date girls, right, 136 00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:13.080 And my stomach just dropped. I was like, oh god, I have 137 00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:16.399 to be honest with her. But now she's not gonna like me. And 138 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:18.639 now I'm bummed because I'm like, there's the first person that I've liked. 139 00:09:18.840 --> 00:09:22.960 She thought you'd be exposed as a straight girl, which sounds boring. Yeah, 140 00:09:24.480 --> 00:09:28.639 she I think it's a thing like to data straight girl right away? 141 00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:35.720 Is not because generally the um lesbians that I know, they're fighting two battles. 142 00:09:35.759 --> 00:09:39.480 They're fighting the do we like each other? And will she go back? 143 00:09:39.639 --> 00:09:43.679 Is this just a plaything? Is this an experience? This experiment? 144 00:09:43.840 --> 00:09:48.919 Is this fun? And then that's got to be equally scary or painful. 145 00:09:48.039 --> 00:09:52.200 Possibly it's like you're not even committed to the lifestyle, right, So that's 146 00:09:52.200 --> 00:09:56.440 the that's the boogeyman around the corner. Yeah, you said, I don't 147 00:09:56.480 --> 00:09:58.519 know, maybe I like it and maybe I I'm into this. Yeah. 148 00:10:00.120 --> 00:10:03.159 So while right when she messaged me that in my stomach drop, I knew 149 00:10:03.159 --> 00:10:07.000 that I really liked her. Right then I was like, this isn't good. 150 00:10:07.279 --> 00:10:09.799 But I knew I had to be honest with her, and so I 151 00:10:09.120 --> 00:10:13.679 said, well, there's the long and short answer is no, I've never 152 00:10:13.759 --> 00:10:18.639 dated a woman long answer is I'm sure there'll be people in my life that 153 00:10:18.679 --> 00:10:22.559 won't be surprised. And I kind of went into this long thing explaining it, 154 00:10:22.639 --> 00:10:26.600 like because you hang out in the golf circles. Well that and I 155 00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:30.480 think hanging out in the specific golf circles I've been in the last few years 156 00:10:30.519 --> 00:10:35.440 helped me feel more comfortable exploring this. Now, women had, Um, 157 00:10:35.279 --> 00:10:39.200 you've been around a lot of women who liked women, and they had come 158 00:10:39.200 --> 00:10:41.960 on to you, or they'd ask you questions. Never no, huh never. 159 00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:46.720 You don't give off that. No, I don't know. I've had 160 00:10:46.759 --> 00:10:50.519 like random ones come up to me, but never like in my golf circle. 161 00:10:50.600 --> 00:10:52.840 Never. No. See, I've had gay men hit on me, 162 00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:56.519 and I'm always flattered by it. I'm not mad, I'm like it, 163 00:10:56.519 --> 00:11:00.120 does that mean I've been good style? Everyone should be flattered by a like 164 00:11:00.159 --> 00:11:01.240 okay, good Yeah, No, I'm not gay, sorry, but thank 165 00:11:01.240 --> 00:11:03.919 you? Is that I'm not one of those at bs West every night just 166 00:11:03.960 --> 00:11:07.759 to get hit on, maybe like me and my friend Sean from college when 167 00:11:07.799 --> 00:11:11.279 we were in LA we would go to like the gayest bar and see if 168 00:11:11.279 --> 00:11:13.720 we got any leads. We would not, but and it made us feel 169 00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:18.919 really bad. But I was always to get confidence. Laugh, right, 170 00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:20.240 we want to go in there to be like, ken are we getting? 171 00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:24.600 And we go once a year and he's a big, fat guy and I'm 172 00:11:24.759 --> 00:11:28.159 not the stylish guy. We would go into the Abbey, the gayest place 173 00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:31.919 in West Hollywood, and we would sit there and see if anybody would And 174 00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:35.240 the worst compliment you can get to me is, oh my god, you're 175 00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:39.960 so clearly straight. And that just mean it was boring. It was that 176 00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:43.639 everyone knew. Terrible. I feel like I have that look though too. 177 00:11:43.840 --> 00:11:48.240 Yeah, I definitely don't have the look of although I will say one of 178 00:11:48.279 --> 00:11:50.200 the last guys I dated, when I first met him and his friends, 179 00:11:52.519 --> 00:11:54.759 his friend came up to me on like the fourteenth hole. We were playing 180 00:11:54.799 --> 00:11:58.480 golf and he turns around to me and he says, hey, Sarah, 181 00:11:58.480 --> 00:12:01.519 do you like to suck d yeah, really randomly, and I go, 182 00:12:01.720 --> 00:12:05.480 huh oh yeah. He goes, hey, guys, she's not gay, 183 00:12:05.480 --> 00:12:07.600 And I was like, wait, time out. You guys thought I was 184 00:12:07.679 --> 00:12:09.480 gay. They're like, oh, yeah, for sure, you're way too 185 00:12:09.480 --> 00:12:13.440 cool. You play softball, you play golf, you had to be Gayay, 186 00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:18.320 no offense to anybody out there softball players. So anyway back to your 187 00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:22.679 initial so she's basically feeling you out, or she's seeing if she just likes 188 00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:26.639 you. What was her looking back? I'm sure you had the conversation, 189 00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:31.600 since looking back, I think she was just confirming or trying to confirm, 190 00:12:33.080 --> 00:12:37.159 which in turn she wouldn't be wasting her time on this right. So my 191 00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:41.039 long explanation basically at the end said, I totally understand if now this freaks 192 00:12:41.080 --> 00:12:45.720 you out, I will be disappointed, because I do feel like there's a 193 00:12:45.759 --> 00:12:52.080 connection and I would hope that maybe you would be open to seeing if this 194 00:12:52.120 --> 00:12:56.519 connection is real and seeing what's going on. And then what felt like eight 195 00:12:56.559 --> 00:13:00.919 hours for her to respond, which was probably like twenty minutes, she was 196 00:13:00.960 --> 00:13:03.960 like, you know what, you seem different. It does kind of scare 197 00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:07.879 me, but I'm willing to see where this goes. Okay, I have 198 00:13:07.879 --> 00:13:11.679 a million questions. I'm here with Sarah held we're exploring her not so new 199 00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:16.279 relationship anymore, but we gotta pay the bills around here, so I got 200 00:13:16.279 --> 00:13:24.639 to take a quick break and we will be back right after this. And 201 00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:30.679 we are back so early on in this relationship. What feels different about that 202 00:13:30.840 --> 00:13:35.080 sort of nervous, awkward first couple dates and encounters with a woman versus of 203 00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:37.960 guys, or anything different in the way you behavior is. It just seemed 204 00:13:37.000 --> 00:13:43.679 exactly the same, other than the guy's not making moves constantly up until we 205 00:13:43.759 --> 00:13:46.519 met, So like the first week, it felt exactly the same. There 206 00:13:46.559 --> 00:13:50.720 was nothing different, okay, nothing like we were facetiming for hours because I 207 00:13:50.799 --> 00:13:54.399 was out of town, so we didn't we couldn't meet right away. Now, 208 00:13:54.440 --> 00:13:56.960 the first time we met, I would say it was a little nervous 209 00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:01.320 in a different way, just because I'm like, oh my goddause, you 210 00:14:01.320 --> 00:14:03.759 don't know how to get that right, Like and by the dude, is 211 00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:07.399 she the dude? Right? Do I have to kiss her? What if 212 00:14:07.399 --> 00:14:11.679 we do kiss each other? Like? What did you google anything before? 213 00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:18.679 I did? Not handbook? There's no handbook of your a lesbian friend. 214 00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:22.759 Yes I did, and I knew there was a common theme. Okay, 215 00:14:22.840 --> 00:14:30.159 what you will never ever go back after tonight? Go back to dudes all 216 00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:33.039 of them were like, really, are you ready for this? Because why 217 00:14:33.039 --> 00:14:35.759 why were they said you were about to have the best sex of your life? 218 00:14:37.320 --> 00:14:39.679 Really? Yeah? Huh? And I was like, whoa these are 219 00:14:39.720 --> 00:14:45.000 bold statements. They are and these are from these are from gold Star lists. 220 00:14:46.039 --> 00:14:48.320 They need to know gold stars is a woman who's never been with a 221 00:14:48.360 --> 00:14:50.399 man. No, these are women one who's tried both yep sides of the 222 00:14:50.440 --> 00:14:54.000 buffet yep okay, And they literally all of them were like, you're never 223 00:14:54.039 --> 00:15:01.320 going back. Oh man, we are so obsolete. Okay, So okay, 224 00:15:00.919 --> 00:15:05.519 So did that excite you? Of course? Okay? Or were you 225 00:15:05.639 --> 00:15:09.120 like this? I mean, I'm still nervous at this point, just because 226 00:15:09.159 --> 00:15:13.159 now I'm hey. I wanted it to be just as great in person as 227 00:15:13.159 --> 00:15:16.240 it's been. Are you telling her along because you must have asked her like 228 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:20.279 how she's not exclusively with girls either her whole life? Right were you? 229 00:15:20.399 --> 00:15:24.440 Were you asking her questions like and telling her you were nervous? Or did 230 00:15:24.440 --> 00:15:26.720 you try and play cool like I got totally cool. I tried to play 231 00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:31.720 totally No. I did not lead on to believe that I was nervous, 232 00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:35.519 Okay, I no, I needed to play cool. And then she walked 233 00:15:35.519 --> 00:15:37.559 in. I make fun of it now because she came from work, so 234 00:15:37.639 --> 00:15:41.279 she was wearing scrubs. But I joke, I said, you walked in 235 00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:45.000 with such like a lesbian stride, like I'm here and I mean business and 236 00:15:45.080 --> 00:15:52.519 I'm sitting down like a boss. Now does she handle things differently like you're 237 00:15:52.600 --> 00:15:54.279 you're sort of a young chicken and she doesn't want to scare you out of 238 00:15:54.320 --> 00:15:58.120 the nest before you know, she must have had to handle that differently too, 239 00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:02.720 right, or she like, I'm taking this down. No, it's 240 00:16:02.720 --> 00:16:07.039 really weird because she has said from the beginning numerous times like I swear to 241 00:16:07.039 --> 00:16:10.679 god, you were a lesbian in your past life or you were always meant 242 00:16:10.679 --> 00:16:15.720 to be, so you're a natural list apparently Wow, apparently because you figure 243 00:16:15.720 --> 00:16:18.080 from her pointy, But she doesn't want to scare you off as somebody who 244 00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:21.200 likes her, and then she doesn't want to scare you off from the lifestyle 245 00:16:21.279 --> 00:16:25.600 the possibilities. Yeah, and like obviously all the sexual things was so new 246 00:16:25.639 --> 00:16:29.440 to me that and not new to her. So what are the We'll get 247 00:16:29.440 --> 00:16:32.200 to the sex in a second, but what are the did you tell her 248 00:16:32.200 --> 00:16:33.039 honestly like, I don't, I don't really know how to do this. 249 00:16:33.080 --> 00:16:37.240 Can you lead, for lack of a better term, I did for this 250 00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:41.480 second, I did. I think for the sex part, I did. 251 00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:42.600 I was like just so you know, like there's I think I said, 252 00:16:42.639 --> 00:16:45.159 just you know, there's gonna be a learning curve. Well, so back 253 00:16:45.200 --> 00:16:48.200 up for the sex. So you you're out where where's the first date? 254 00:16:48.399 --> 00:16:56.200 Um? At Kashmere's an old town Scottsdale, Okay, And um you're like, 255 00:16:56.320 --> 00:17:00.159 at some point somebody's gonna kiss somebody. So we have a great I 256 00:17:00.440 --> 00:17:03.279 we just talk as you would on any date. It's not about our sexuality 257 00:17:03.319 --> 00:17:06.960 at all, is never brought up. It's just like a couple. But 258 00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:10.079 how's that differ from like a couple of girlfriends? What makes it differently? 259 00:17:10.640 --> 00:17:14.319 Where's the sexual chemist? Because I'm attracted, Like, I get that, 260 00:17:14.440 --> 00:17:18.200 But so you've never even been attracted to a girl before, not like this? 261 00:17:18.839 --> 00:17:22.079 And I've seen her she's smoking hot, Yeah not I'm a guy, 262 00:17:22.200 --> 00:17:25.519 so I don't know if it's the same kind of smoking hot. I don't 263 00:17:25.519 --> 00:17:26.960 know. It's weird. Okay. So you're with her and it's nervous the 264 00:17:26.960 --> 00:17:30.319 way you are sitting at a bar with a guy. Is that the same 265 00:17:30.359 --> 00:17:33.599 nervous energy or or you're like when you're out with a guy, at some 266 00:17:33.640 --> 00:17:36.759 point, this jackass is gonna try and kiss me, and you kind of 267 00:17:36.759 --> 00:17:40.680 know. It's more nervous in the sense that I really like this girl or 268 00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:44.880 let's just say person, because if if there hasn't been very many guys I've 269 00:17:44.920 --> 00:17:48.200 really liked and got butterflies, but it and what did you like about it? 270 00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:52.000 The lack of bullshit, the lack of pretense, the yeah, she 271 00:17:52.200 --> 00:17:56.599 was very just we were a lot alike in the way we communicated on face 272 00:17:56.640 --> 00:18:00.480 time and text and everything. Very but we had a same age, a 273 00:18:00.480 --> 00:18:04.000 lot in common. So you weren't attracted in like a forbidden fruit kind of 274 00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:07.960 way. You were attracted like you would be attracted anybody. Correct, Okay, 275 00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:11.960 I just I went with it. I tried not to think about it 276 00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:14.960 too much and how much is your brain going at the same time, like 277 00:18:14.960 --> 00:18:17.599 what does this mean? How do I how I explain this? How do 278 00:18:17.640 --> 00:18:21.440 I explain it to myself? It was doing that for five days, so 279 00:18:21.480 --> 00:18:23.079 I just had to like try to tell as many people as I could. 280 00:18:23.359 --> 00:18:26.680 I think I like a girl because it was helping me like understand it in 281 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:30.119 my mind and mostly probably like, oh yeah, cool, my best friend 282 00:18:30.160 --> 00:18:33.680 almost drove off the side of the road. She's like because I like sent 283 00:18:33.759 --> 00:18:36.960 her a picture She's like, who is it? Is it someone from the 284 00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:38.079 past? Who is he? Do I know him? And I sent the 285 00:18:38.079 --> 00:18:41.000 picture. She's like, no, you're lying. You were lying, But 286 00:18:41.079 --> 00:18:48.279 everyone else was like okay. My dad's like I'm not surprised. Oh yeah, 287 00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:51.640 so I don't. Okay. So you're at this date, you're and 288 00:18:51.680 --> 00:18:53.599 then when the when does the kiss happen? At the bar? So we 289 00:18:55.119 --> 00:18:57.119 leave and I didn't know how this all goes. So I'm like, I'm 290 00:18:57.160 --> 00:19:00.200 I guess I'll just flex here. Let's start out the gate. So I 291 00:19:00.240 --> 00:19:03.279 threw down my credit card. I'm like, I got this, oh yeah, 292 00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:10.400 And then we left and I actually had said it, why don't you 293 00:19:10.400 --> 00:19:15.480 just take a cab. I will I will come get you in the morning 294 00:19:15.720 --> 00:19:18.039 and bring you to your car. That way, you don't have to drive, 295 00:19:18.359 --> 00:19:22.720 okay, And she finally agreed to it. So she kind of walked 296 00:19:22.720 --> 00:19:27.880 towards my car and then she just went in. Oh like a dude, 297 00:19:29.519 --> 00:19:33.720 she made the move. She made the move. Were you taken off guard 298 00:19:33.799 --> 00:19:37.039 or were you like? I knew this was happening because when the guy you 299 00:19:37.279 --> 00:19:37.920 walk out, you leave the bar with the guy, you know he's going 300 00:19:37.960 --> 00:19:41.680 to make the move. Well, I was hoping as we were walking out 301 00:19:41.839 --> 00:19:45.160 right, also still slightly nervous, but not as nervous because I had wine. 302 00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:48.559 Were you how much wine? Oh? We probably had three or four 303 00:19:48.599 --> 00:19:51.759 glasses, so you were fine to drive home, but she wasn't. Yeah, 304 00:19:51.799 --> 00:19:52.640 I know. I look back at it, and I'm like, I 305 00:19:52.680 --> 00:19:56.480 totally made you take a cab. I get her body weights lower than mine? 306 00:19:56.559 --> 00:20:00.880 Yeah, probably, Yeah, she's a little thing. Yeah, okay. 307 00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:03.640 And then so that kiss is did it feel like you crossed a threshold? 308 00:20:03.720 --> 00:20:08.200 Then of the biggest point then for you is probably the kiss. Oh 309 00:20:08.279 --> 00:20:12.720 yeah. And then I was like, oh, oh boy, I'm in 310 00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:18.000 trouble. This is what they're talking about, right, And then I go 311 00:20:18.079 --> 00:20:22.279 home and of course it's all you can think about. So she's like, 312 00:20:22.839 --> 00:20:23.960 so that's so it ends. She still gets in the cab. Yeah, 313 00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:27.480 it's just a quick makeout in the street. It was a pretty good makeout. 314 00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:33.480 So there's probably security footage of this somewhere in old Absolutely. Absolutely. 315 00:20:33.519 --> 00:20:37.599 Okay, So you go home nervous. What does this mean? I've never 316 00:20:37.640 --> 00:20:40.519 done that? Can I do this? Not nervous at all? Now? 317 00:20:40.880 --> 00:20:47.039 That felt normal? Yep, huh abnormally normal? Yeah, like that actually 318 00:20:47.880 --> 00:20:49.559 got in my head a little more. I'm like, white, why is 319 00:20:49.559 --> 00:20:53.559 this so normal? And should this have been what I should have been doing. 320 00:20:53.880 --> 00:20:56.039 So you go backwards and you're like, oh my god, I waste 321 00:20:56.079 --> 00:21:00.839 all this time with dude right penises? Yeah, I'm like, was I 322 00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:04.319 just trying to make everything else work? Yeah? Okay. So the next 323 00:21:04.359 --> 00:21:08.759 day, the next day, we're texting, or I think I started texting 324 00:21:08.839 --> 00:21:11.119 her like do they get home? Did you get home? Okay? Yeah, 325 00:21:11.240 --> 00:21:15.359 of course, like the dude, so you're the dude totally, and 326 00:21:15.559 --> 00:21:18.200 she did and we I think we talked about how much fun we had and 327 00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:22.680 blah blah blah. But then she um kind of went quiet. Oh she 328 00:21:22.759 --> 00:21:26.759 called in sick to work that day because she drank too much or because she 329 00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:30.000 wanted to see you. I think maybe about both. Okay, she was 330 00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:34.640 a little hungover. Yeah, And so she finally wakes up after sleeping, 331 00:21:34.680 --> 00:21:37.839 and then I went and got her and I pulled this move. I go 332 00:21:38.640 --> 00:21:41.319 since that because her car was an old town I said, why don't I 333 00:21:41.359 --> 00:21:44.319 come get you bring in your car, and then why don't you come out 334 00:21:44.319 --> 00:21:47.240 to my house and we can watch a movie. My house is right down 335 00:21:47.319 --> 00:21:48.680 the street. That's the kind of thing that a dude would do. Uhh 336 00:21:48.759 --> 00:21:53.720 okay, And she was like, yeah, okay, okay, And I 337 00:21:53.720 --> 00:21:56.200 don't want to get into the nitty gritty, so to speak of it. 338 00:21:57.640 --> 00:22:03.279 But you did you ask questions before the sexual encounter? Did you like, 339 00:22:03.319 --> 00:22:06.039 what do you do? Is you just like tell me what to do? 340 00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:07.319 And I'm no good. I never even said tell me what to do? 341 00:22:07.799 --> 00:22:11.480 So you just went along with I went with what felt. I don't know. 342 00:22:11.599 --> 00:22:17.240 And still no googling, no googling. I mean, I've watched plenty 343 00:22:17.240 --> 00:22:19.240 of porn in my life. Yeah, but as always, porn is never 344 00:22:19.279 --> 00:22:23.119 an example of what people do. True. So you're like, I think 345 00:22:23.160 --> 00:22:26.359 I know, and then you're like, oh, I kind of like that. 346 00:22:26.440 --> 00:22:27.759 And then I just went for it, and I was nervous, prettier, 347 00:22:27.880 --> 00:22:33.559 like yeah, I smell better. Oh everything is better. Sorry, 348 00:22:33.640 --> 00:22:34.720 dude, I don't know. Dah. If I would girl, i'd be 349 00:22:34.759 --> 00:22:40.119 a lesbian too. It's just better. Yeah, I mean yeah, so 350 00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:42.680 when do you start telling people? Oh, well, I told my close 351 00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:47.759 friends right before we even met that I think I like a girl. Oh 352 00:22:47.839 --> 00:22:51.799 yeah. I was like, I'm in trouble, like I knew right away 353 00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:53.559 that I was like, I kissed a girl and I think I like it. 354 00:22:53.680 --> 00:22:57.200 Yeah, Cherry Chapstick. And then once we kissed, because my best 355 00:22:57.240 --> 00:23:00.720 friend back home, she called me next day, she go, Okay, 356 00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:03.640 how was it? Because I knew that was gonna be the determining factor, 357 00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:07.160 like if it felt normal, and so the kiss was bigger than the other 358 00:23:07.240 --> 00:23:11.480 stuff. Yeah, because if I didn't, if that didn't feel good to 359 00:23:11.519 --> 00:23:14.960 me, then yeah, well just like with a dude. Yeah, okay, 360 00:23:15.160 --> 00:23:17.480 so it did. And I told my best friend. She goes, 361 00:23:17.519 --> 00:23:19.079 oh my god. And then so my best friend was asking about her, 362 00:23:19.079 --> 00:23:22.720 and I told her, my bet, she's like, I like her better 363 00:23:22.759 --> 00:23:26.279 than all the dudes you've dated so far? Probably yeah. Yeah. So 364 00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:30.599 at what point do you guys have a conversation like is this something? Because 365 00:23:30.839 --> 00:23:36.920 she has to be wondering are you ready to go in to put your chips 366 00:23:36.920 --> 00:23:40.279 on the table in a girl girl relationship? Is this what you want? 367 00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:41.480 Can you do this? Like? She has to be asking too many questions 368 00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:45.960 as you are. Yeah, she didn't ask a lot. I do remember 369 00:23:45.960 --> 00:23:51.759 her asking me at one point, do you see yourself in a long term 370 00:23:51.759 --> 00:23:55.000 relationship with a girl? He said, well, I see myself in a 371 00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:57.480 long term relationship with this girl right in front of me, Like, yes, 372 00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:00.880 right, So it's not like you cross some rubicon and you're like, 373 00:24:02.079 --> 00:24:04.720 oh now I like girls, you like this person's person. Yeah. There's 374 00:24:04.720 --> 00:24:08.559 a lot of people who are like that, and it's like they're not gay, 375 00:24:08.599 --> 00:24:11.400 that's straight. They're just like I'm looking for somebody to love and it 376 00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:15.759 happens to be yeah that Yeah, and she, for the most part, 377 00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:21.119 is the same way. Heaven't forbid if we ever broke up, which not 378 00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:25.279 come what I hope doesn't happen, but I don't. I don't know that 379 00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:30.119 I would. Now her social circle are they mostly straight? Mostly gay? 380 00:24:30.319 --> 00:24:33.799 We actually just joked about this on her birthday. I brought my best friend 381 00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:37.519 and she was the only straight girl, and Janet goes, I need to 382 00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:41.160 like brought in my friend group. She's like, all of a sudden, 383 00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:45.279 it's closed in and it's like all lesbians, right, So are they skeptical 384 00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:48.440 of your commitment to her? And this I think maybe in the beginning, 385 00:24:48.519 --> 00:24:52.759 like first few weeks and stuff back because they're probably protective of her, like, 386 00:24:52.079 --> 00:24:56.640 oh, she's just right. I couldn't find anybody that night, right, 387 00:24:56.680 --> 00:24:59.279 she's gonna go back, right, But now I don't. I don't 388 00:24:59.319 --> 00:25:03.720 think there's any question, do you, um, at what point do you 389 00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:11.000 she's met the family? She met my parents, So I told my parents 390 00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:15.759 probably I told my brother three weeks in from the first time we spoke ever, 391 00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:19.720 and then I told my parents probably a month, four to five weeks 392 00:25:19.759 --> 00:25:23.559 him and then they met her. And most people in your life were probably 393 00:25:23.599 --> 00:25:26.480 like. I could see that a lot of people were like and I and 394 00:25:26.519 --> 00:25:30.240 I ask why, And a lot of the answers I get are because you're 395 00:25:30.279 --> 00:25:36.480 just fun and really easygoing and not like judgmental, right, and so it 396 00:25:36.519 --> 00:25:40.759 doesn't surprise me that you would be open to something like this. How many 397 00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:47.359 people um or how many? So you again, you're a big golf person. 398 00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:52.039 Now that you are UM and eligible lesbian? Are they coming out of 399 00:25:52.039 --> 00:25:56.799 the woodwork? They're they're not, They're not they're not not yet. I 400 00:25:56.839 --> 00:26:00.960 mean, I haven't but you can't even conside what do you consider yourself now? 401 00:26:00.440 --> 00:26:04.240 Just somebody who likes somebody and no labels. I consider myself dating a 402 00:26:04.279 --> 00:26:07.680 girl, okay, and that's how like? Now, are you attracted to 403 00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:11.240 other girls like has that turned on anything? And you're walking down the street 404 00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:15.599 and like, oh, she's hot, not any different. I don't think 405 00:26:15.720 --> 00:26:17.759 so you used to think that. I used to look at a girl and 406 00:26:17.799 --> 00:26:19.720 go out she's really pretty, but you didn't want to kiss her. I 407 00:26:19.759 --> 00:26:25.480 always I thought cuddling sounded really weird, like I couldn't with another girl, 408 00:26:25.480 --> 00:26:29.799 calling with another girl. I'm like, like braiding each other's hair and nails? 409 00:26:29.880 --> 00:26:33.079 Is that my lesbian thing? That's really a thing? I mean we 410 00:26:33.160 --> 00:26:36.400 have done it? Oh you have? Okay, So you don't look at 411 00:26:36.519 --> 00:26:40.400 do you look at manity differently? No? Because I've been around you since 412 00:26:40.440 --> 00:26:45.759 this, I feel like you are more easy going around the dudes because I 413 00:26:45.799 --> 00:26:48.319 feel like you don't realize. You don't think like, oh I don't have 414 00:26:48.359 --> 00:26:51.240 to date them. No, I've always been like that with the guys, 415 00:26:51.240 --> 00:26:56.200 just indifferent until you were drunk. No, I just didn't date. It 416 00:26:56.240 --> 00:27:03.039 took a certain one for me to date certain like does okay? So I 417 00:27:03.359 --> 00:27:06.319 know this woman who wrote a book called Everything I Learned About Dating a Man 418 00:27:06.359 --> 00:27:08.359 I learned from dating a woman. And when she went back to dating, 419 00:27:08.400 --> 00:27:11.519 I'm not saying that's going to happen men she saw a lot of herself in 420 00:27:11.559 --> 00:27:17.799 the lesbian relationship that were bad habits and the way she behaved with men, 421 00:27:17.880 --> 00:27:22.599 and she became a lot better as a girlfriend and eventually a wife. Are 422 00:27:22.599 --> 00:27:25.960 there things now that you're learning this relationship that you're like, oh, yeah, 423 00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:29.160 I see what the guys were talking about. I must have been difficult, 424 00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:33.519 like what and not difficult, but just like the emotional part. You 425 00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:37.960 know, women are really emotional and needy. Like sometimes I like or she 426 00:27:37.079 --> 00:27:41.000 will do it and it's something I would have done in my past relationships. 427 00:27:41.160 --> 00:27:44.920 I'm like, oh my god, that's what I used to do, right, 428 00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:47.680 because we're the same we're girls, right, right, So she's going 429 00:27:47.720 --> 00:27:49.880 to do the same things I probably would, And I find myself going out. 430 00:27:51.039 --> 00:27:53.599 I wonder he was so annoyed by that, Like this is annoying. 431 00:27:55.119 --> 00:27:59.799 Yeah, you can is a good experiment even if no matter which it does, 432 00:28:00.359 --> 00:28:02.799 Yes, it does which definitely, which is the whole point of this 433 00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:04.680 here, Like getting out of your comfort zone can let you see everything in 434 00:28:04.720 --> 00:28:10.480 a new light, and especially your own behavior, and I think it lets 435 00:28:10.519 --> 00:28:15.039 you see other people around you that are close to you their true colors as 436 00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:21.279 well. That's one thing I've learned the biggest difference between this and a serious 437 00:28:22.440 --> 00:28:26.880 relationship you had prior. What is the biggest difference in this relationship? Is 438 00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:32.680 it the easier communication because you're both women? I don't know it was for 439 00:28:32.720 --> 00:28:37.240 a while. I mean we just are still in a relationship. So relationships 440 00:28:37.240 --> 00:28:40.359 are hard. And what is the hardest thing, like anything else? I 441 00:28:40.359 --> 00:28:44.799 mean sometimes it is communication, But we're an issue because that happens in a 442 00:28:45.079 --> 00:28:49.519 Yeah, and I think you have two emotions, two periods too, you 443 00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:52.799 know, like this is a lot, right, And we're not even SYNCD 444 00:28:52.839 --> 00:28:57.119 up yet, so we're dealing with my PMS for one week, her pms 445 00:28:57.160 --> 00:29:02.160 for the next week's half the month. Yeah, I give up. It's 446 00:29:02.160 --> 00:29:07.759 that part's hard. Um. Did you have a talk about exclusivity? Yeah, 447 00:29:07.759 --> 00:29:11.359 that was pretty quick. She got off the app and then I was 448 00:29:11.400 --> 00:29:14.319 like, okay, good And I wasn't ever. I didn't go back on 449 00:29:14.359 --> 00:29:17.000 the app once week exchange cell phone numbers. I didn't go back on. 450 00:29:17.240 --> 00:29:19.799 Was she constantly taking your temperature on? Do you like this or you only 451 00:29:19.839 --> 00:29:22.720 once? Only once? And what did she say? And I said, 452 00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:26.200 ye, that feel No. That was when she said, could do you 453 00:29:26.279 --> 00:29:30.920 see this UM with you having a long thing with a girl and I said, 454 00:29:30.960 --> 00:29:33.079 yeah, I said, this feels good. I yes, And she 455 00:29:33.240 --> 00:29:38.200 never asked again. How is it UM manifest itself or helped itself in other 456 00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:41.079 aspects of her life? Do you? Are you more relaxed? Are you 457 00:29:41.160 --> 00:29:47.640 calmer? Are you don't worry about stuff as it trickled into your business life 458 00:29:47.720 --> 00:29:51.960 or anything else that you know it has? There are certain things you don't 459 00:29:52.079 --> 00:29:56.599 think about, like UM. I was going to meet some clients of mine 460 00:29:56.039 --> 00:29:59.200 and I was telling her about it, and I was like, I think 461 00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:00.599 I'm gonna tell him that night. And I told her I'm like, they're 462 00:30:00.599 --> 00:30:04.160 really strong Republicans. She was like, are you prepared to lose business? 463 00:30:06.599 --> 00:30:10.920 Oh? Really, because you have to think about those things. Republicans would 464 00:30:10.960 --> 00:30:12.839 be mad that you're with it. Well, I mean there is no and 465 00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:22.000 you I'm Republicans, um, but there's a lot of more faith based like 466 00:30:22.599 --> 00:30:25.440 Republican. Yeah, I get it. So that's put there. Yeah, 467 00:30:25.480 --> 00:30:27.880 that's where it comes from it besides, and I told her right up, 468 00:30:27.960 --> 00:30:30.839 I said, I don't care if somebody doesn't want to do business with me 469 00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:33.039 because of that. But it is weird that we have to think about that. 470 00:30:33.160 --> 00:30:37.680 Do you hold hands? Yeah? I think it was a little nerve 471 00:30:37.759 --> 00:30:40.400 racking. Well, it was fine in the beginning, it was like all 472 00:30:40.440 --> 00:30:45.279 hands on deck. Then I got a little like sometimes uncomfortable. But then 473 00:30:45.319 --> 00:30:48.319 when we went to California pretty early together, and once I was there, 474 00:30:48.119 --> 00:30:51.480 I didn't give a shit. I don't know anyone there, and be it's 475 00:30:51.640 --> 00:30:56.000 I felt comfortable. And then ever since then it's fine. Besides the touchy 476 00:30:56.079 --> 00:30:59.559 feely stuff. Is there anything that you that she has gotten you to think 477 00:30:59.680 --> 00:31:04.079 or do radically differently? So you can say, like she changed your personality? 478 00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:07.480 No, what about her? Is there anything that you're she's like, 479 00:31:07.480 --> 00:31:11.319 oh, you know what, I've never No, I don't think. So. 480 00:31:11.880 --> 00:31:15.359 You guys are just being yourselves. We're being totally ourselves. We are 481 00:31:15.880 --> 00:31:21.839 opposite enough where we kind of balance each other out in certain ways. So 482 00:31:21.880 --> 00:31:25.480 getting out of your comfort zone help? Do you find comfort? It did? 483 00:31:25.880 --> 00:31:29.039 Look at that and a hot girl and a hot girl. Yeah, 484 00:31:29.319 --> 00:31:33.519 and she's smart too, which is a bad bonus. Yeah, so does 485 00:31:33.559 --> 00:31:37.920 this? So does this mean you're willing to step out of your comfort zone? 486 00:31:37.960 --> 00:31:38.960 And no, not that far out of my comfort zone. I'm good, 487 00:31:40.079 --> 00:31:41.799 But um, but I was. I was not somebody. You know, 488 00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:45.279 I can see the frustration. I know a lot of women who who've 489 00:31:45.400 --> 00:31:49.920 done this. Men are less likely to do this probably, but well, 490 00:31:49.920 --> 00:31:53.680 when we women joke about it a lot, like if we're not dating someone 491 00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:57.279 by this age, we're just going to be together. Yeah, because it 492 00:31:57.359 --> 00:32:01.960 just makes sense. Yeah, No, I know a lot of um but 493 00:32:02.079 --> 00:32:06.039 the way, I know a lot of women who have done that and found 494 00:32:06.079 --> 00:32:10.759 happiness. And it doesn't mean that it's happily arrest doesn't mean you're never dated 495 00:32:10.759 --> 00:32:14.079 a guy again. It doesn't mean anything. I mean, it just thinks, 496 00:32:14.079 --> 00:32:15.720 like right now, in this moment, this works for you. There 497 00:32:15.759 --> 00:32:19.640 are little things that you didn't think, you don't think about like that I 498 00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:22.880 had to learn. Like when she would go out with her girlfriends, I'd 499 00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:27.599 be like why. I'd feel like, why aren't you inviting me? Yeah, 500 00:32:27.680 --> 00:32:30.039 but she's like, remember, Sarah, you're still my partner. Like 501 00:32:31.160 --> 00:32:36.920 imagine if it's guy's night essentially, yeah, yeah, and those kind of 502 00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:39.319 things you don't think about. How much of a kick do you get out 503 00:32:39.319 --> 00:32:45.200 of it that guys think she's hot? I love it. I love it. 504 00:32:45.480 --> 00:32:47.559 That's what it's like. Wait, what ah, my guy friends. 505 00:32:49.079 --> 00:32:52.119 I know if you if you go back and listen to that episode, it's 506 00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:54.599 like three fifty eight or something like that, and you hurt my reaction because 507 00:32:54.759 --> 00:32:59.880 you just brought into like I dropped it out without you even have you brought 508 00:32:59.880 --> 00:33:01.559 her to the golf course yet? I brought her a golf course like three 509 00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:06.480 times and she's good, of course. Really yeah, it's annoying. She's 510 00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:10.519 an athlete, you know. Yeah, everyone knows. Um, I shouldn't 511 00:33:10.519 --> 00:33:14.640 say that because all of a sudden, I've been getting messages on my Instagram 512 00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:17.640 because of my new name of my new podcasts, and they go, wait 513 00:33:17.680 --> 00:33:22.160 a minute, I'm kind of putting two and two together. Are you dating 514 00:33:22.240 --> 00:33:24.720 a girl? Now? Yeah? Yeah, I am all right. Lesson 515 00:33:24.839 --> 00:33:30.440 learned great love listeners, get out there across the crossom or the other side, 516 00:33:30.440 --> 00:33:31.920 if that's what works. Um, all right, tell everybody where you 517 00:33:31.920 --> 00:33:36.640 can find this aforementioned podcast, and what's called? So I thought it was 518 00:33:36.680 --> 00:33:40.519 appropriate to name it Switching Teams? I think, So, has she been 519 00:33:40.519 --> 00:33:44.599 on your podcast? She hasn't. We haven't got there yet. Yeah, 520 00:33:44.640 --> 00:33:46.799 Well, in a relationship, if she wants, I feel like you've been 521 00:33:46.799 --> 00:33:50.920 on here like two or three times. Yeah, but she's she prefers to 522 00:33:50.920 --> 00:33:53.039 be a little more private. So I don't know. You're on this podcast 523 00:33:53.119 --> 00:33:58.079 wants as a straight girl, wants in transition and now here on the other 524 00:33:58.079 --> 00:34:00.559 side. On the other side, Yeah, sticking your toe under the water. 525 00:34:00.720 --> 00:34:04.200 Um, it's called switching teams. And you can find it everywhere you 526 00:34:04.200 --> 00:34:07.200 find your podcast. Correct, yep, And we talk about a lot of 527 00:34:07.240 --> 00:34:09.920 golf, but we're gonna dive into everything, so to speak. Yeah, 528 00:34:10.320 --> 00:34:13.519 right when I came out of my mouth and Mis're like, okay, it's 529 00:34:13.559 --> 00:34:16.000 gonna jump on this all right. I'm proud of you. I read you 530 00:34:16.440 --> 00:34:20.480 and your happiness at the end of the day, it's about funny your happiness 531 00:34:21.239 --> 00:34:23.880 as far as us, not just Switching Teams, but Great Love Debate, 532 00:34:24.079 --> 00:34:27.920 Like, share, follow, Please review this podcast or reviews mean a lot 533 00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:30.960 in the podcasting ecosystem. Shoot us an email Great Love Debate at gmail dot 534 00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:36.599 com and I will send you a picture of Sarah's girlfriend. Um, and 535 00:34:37.519 --> 00:34:39.519 go to Great Love Debate dot com. I don't know. We just did 536 00:34:39.559 --> 00:34:43.000 a show, a live show. We kicked off our tenth season of the 537 00:34:43.039 --> 00:34:45.760 tour. I'm probably gonna do one right here. In Phoenix. I have 538 00:34:45.840 --> 00:34:49.599 not done a Great Love Debate show in Phoenix in about six years, which 539 00:34:49.679 --> 00:34:52.079 is weird because I get asked to do them and I think I'm going to 540 00:34:52.159 --> 00:34:54.760 do it. Um so look at the look at the dates for that and 541 00:34:54.880 --> 00:35:00.639 all the rest because, as always at the Great Love Debate, we never 542 00:35:00.639 --> 00:35:09.119 stopped making love. See you next time. The Greatest Love Debate, it's 543 00:35:09.159 --> 00:35:15.639 the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate.