This is pod Populi Podcast for the People, The Great Love Debate. It's
the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Toba.
Hi again, Everyone's Brian Howie. Welcome to the Great Love Debate,
the world's number one dating and relationship podcasts. It's twenty and fifteen. I
am here in the very fine studios of pod Populi Podcasts for the People.
I'm the one in Scottsdale. As you know, I love Scottsdale. Um.
So last week's episode if you're listening to these in order, and if
you're not, hey, so what last week I talked? I The title
of the episode was Forgetting the Familiar. Got a lot of people riled up,
a lot of people didn't agree with me, but I think everybody agrees
with me that the answers to whatever you're looking for ten to lie outside of
your comfort zone. And So I did a podcast about a year ago,
half a year ago, somewhere in twenty twenty two, and it was called
Love Where You Least Expect It. And I had my guest on and I'm
bringing her back in today because we're gonna both get an update and talk about
a lot of things. Her name is Sarah Held. At the time,
she was the co host of the Housewives of Golf podcast. Now she's gone
out on her own and her podcast is called Switching Teams. That's out of
a side note, but it's sort of tangentially related. I want hi,
Sarah. How are you hi? Brian? How are you? I want
you to talk about how the first time? How did this all come about?
You came on the podcast and you sprung something on me. But let's
go back. We met about a year ago and I told you get on
the dating apps. What did I tell you? No? So, you
know, every time my old co host and I would come into the studio,
we would always just start talking about probably my dating life at some point,
because people tend to talk to me about this stuff like yeah, like
that's my thing, and it was really non existent, to be honest.
And you had asked me a few times, do you like the girl or
whatever? And I was like, no, No, I like guys,
like dudes. I like penises, you know, PENI penises that could be
PENI. Yeah. So you said, all of a sudden one day you
go, hey, I want to have you on the pod, And I
said, oh boy, what are we going to talk about? You said,
well, what dating apps are you on? I said none, I'm
not interested. Too busy, did it? You said, get back on
bumble. Let's get you on the podcast. We're gonna swipe live on the
air. And immediately I'm like, okay, I'm into that. I like
that, like real time experiment with somebody who'd been out of the loop.
Yeah, we threw you back in the deep end of the pool, which
I'm I'm all for it. But I couldn't wait. Like, I went
home and I was like, screw it, grabbed bottle of wine, opened
the wine, and I guess my profile from twenty twenty when I was on
for like three days, was still there. I didn't change anything. And
then so I'm swiping, swiping, swiping. Maybe swiped one guy right and
it was like a reach. It really was. I'm like him, like
for him, he was not he was okay. I was solid six.
Yeah. So then all of a sudden, I gotta pop up that says
you've swiped through the whole city, so I know. Yeah, so I
had to broaden my horizons farther away, older, younger, swipe through the
city again, and I'm like this, this is a big city. Did
you get like carpeal tunnels? I went, it was like down to Tucson.
I was in different states. I'm like Jesus, so I um was
like, this is why I'm single. This is the pool of men that
I have to choose from. Now, just back up a second, um,
what was your parameters of what you were looking for? What was the
age? Was it like, because you shouldn't be able to blow through everybody
that quick? The original one, the original probably thirty five to fifty five.
That's a huge pool. Yeah, okay, so it wasn't like so
you went through a twenty year period and the and your geographic parameters twenty miles
to begin with, probably twenty okay, so twenty years and twenty miles and
you found one. Maybe there was maybe three? And now are you traditionally
picky when you're sober? I mean yeah, but not like I'm not picky,
like after the gorgeous men. Usually it has to be a good personality.
Okay, so I mean they still have to be attractive, but right,
but when you're swiping through and saying no, no, no, no,
how are you gauging the personality by reading his okay, there was no
impish humor. Yeah it was bad, Okay, I know I'm not.
Just screamed. And then I think we've talked about this. There was a
lot of pictures with small dogs and cats, and that's an immediate swipe left
for me immediately. Okay, cats in general are just small cats, cats
in general and small dogs and small dogs. Yeah, fair enough, You're
you're out, okay, zip bye okay. Um. So I was probably
three glasses of wine in now, and I'm like, Jesus, so you
know what, let's go see what this side has to offer. And I
just clicked the girls and like first four girls on there, I was like,
oh no, I don't think I'm attracted to girls. Then all of
a sudden, like the fifth one, I see this girl and I was
like, whoa, she's hot, and I nervously swiped, and I shut
down the app because you tingling. Yeah, everything was tingling, and so
you thought, what is this weird feeling I'm having? Yeah? Yeah,
so you swiped and then shut down. Oh yeah, and then what And
then in the morning I got a message from her, so she had clearly
swiped. So in the girls in the Girl Girl world, either one can
message, So I I didn't know any of this, right she did?
Apparently, yes, either one can because in the man in the girl guy
world, she yea, she has to make the move. But I did
not know that. Okay, I guess I should have thought about that.
But yeah, I thought if you swiped, you had to wait for them
right to swipe, and then you find out you're a match. Like if
I guess if she would have swiped person, then I would have matched,
right, I probably would have messaged first. So she must have found you
attractive. Apparently she found me attractive. I appeared to be single because apparently
that's an issue on the girl girls side. Apparently there's a lot of girls
that are on there that are in relationships with men that are just looking for
someone to add, either on the side or to add into the relationship.
Oh a third that's like yeah, okay, wow, I feel so out
of the loop. Okay, So she reaches out and says, what uh,
because remember I didn't have my name on there. I didn't have my
name. It was s a oh yeah, and I don't have no idea
what that stands for, but it was okay, yeah, and so I
think she said, what's your name and what's your cute pup's name? Oh,
so you're allowed to have a small dog, big dogs, I've seen
your dogs. Okay, okay, that's a good line that would work either
way. That would work heterosexual or the other. What's your dog's name?
And I was like giddy. I was like, oh my god, she
messaged me. Did you remember her from the night before? Oh a million
percent? Because I woke up like nervous, like I'm gonna be really bombed
if she doesn't. Now was it? What were her pictures and what was
in her profile? Do you remember? Yeah? She had a picture of
her snowboarding, but it was like with a crop every picture is pretty much
crop top, which rightfully, so she deserves to wear one, right Um.
So it's like picture of her snowboarding with a crop top, picture of
her with her dog, which would probably work with dudes too. Oh yeah
yeah, and she I think for a while she was on both okay.
Um. In fact, one of my guy friends up recognized her picture and
said, oh I used to be talking to her on bumble. I'm like,
no way, he's probably going to scared her over there, like go
well, guess who closed the deal and you didn't. Yeah, okay,
so she says, hey, what's your dog's name? And then are you
like I've never done and so to be clear, you have never I have
never dated a woman. I never never slept with a woman. I have
never kissed a girl drunk in a bar, not a random girl. Like
it was like the friends. So you're like, oh, let's do a
little pets get these guys going okay, it's so dumb. Yeah, and
then that's it, like never thought about it really, Like, so does
she ask what are you doing here? Do you normally date girls? Do
you know? Like like what is the process here? And not to sound
like some naive straight dude here, but I have some questions. So that's
what I meant, and I appreciate that, and I was expecting that at
the gate. It did not come out the gate. That question didn't come
up for I think two days. We It was a religious small talk okay,
like and it was immediate, constant, and then all of a sudden,
I get I know this is going to be a random question and come
off weird because we swiped each other. But you date girls, right,
And my stomach just dropped. I was like, oh god, I have
to be honest with her. But now she's not gonna like me. And
now I'm bummed because I'm like, there's the first person that I've liked.
She thought you'd be exposed as a straight girl, which sounds boring. Yeah,
she I think it's a thing like to data straight girl right away?
Is not because generally the um lesbians that I know, they're fighting two battles.
They're fighting the do we like each other? And will she go back?
Is this just a plaything? Is this an experience? This experiment?
Is this fun? And then that's got to be equally scary or painful.
Possibly it's like you're not even committed to the lifestyle, right, So that's
the that's the boogeyman around the corner. Yeah, you said, I don't
know, maybe I like it and maybe I I'm into this. Yeah.
So while right when she messaged me that in my stomach drop, I knew
that I really liked her. Right then I was like, this isn't good.
But I knew I had to be honest with her, and so I
said, well, there's the long and short answer is no, I've never
dated a woman long answer is I'm sure there'll be people in my life that
won't be surprised. And I kind of went into this long thing explaining it,
like because you hang out in the golf circles. Well that and I
think hanging out in the specific golf circles I've been in the last few years
helped me feel more comfortable exploring this. Now, women had, Um,
you've been around a lot of women who liked women, and they had come
on to you, or they'd ask you questions. Never no, huh never.
You don't give off that. No, I don't know. I've had
like random ones come up to me, but never like in my golf circle.
Never. No. See, I've had gay men hit on me,
and I'm always flattered by it. I'm not mad, I'm like it,
does that mean I've been good style? Everyone should be flattered by a like
okay, good Yeah, No, I'm not gay, sorry, but thank
you? Is that I'm not one of those at bs West every night just
to get hit on, maybe like me and my friend Sean from college when
we were in LA we would go to like the gayest bar and see if
we got any leads. We would not, but and it made us feel
really bad. But I was always to get confidence. Laugh, right,
we want to go in there to be like, ken are we getting?
And we go once a year and he's a big, fat guy and I'm
not the stylish guy. We would go into the Abbey, the gayest place
in West Hollywood, and we would sit there and see if anybody would And
the worst compliment you can get to me is, oh my god, you're
so clearly straight. And that just mean it was boring. It was that
everyone knew. Terrible. I feel like I have that look though too.
Yeah, I definitely don't have the look of although I will say one of
the last guys I dated, when I first met him and his friends,
his friend came up to me on like the fourteenth hole. We were playing
golf and he turns around to me and he says, hey, Sarah,
do you like to suck d yeah, really randomly, and I go,
huh oh yeah. He goes, hey, guys, she's not gay,
And I was like, wait, time out. You guys thought I was
gay. They're like, oh, yeah, for sure, you're way too
cool. You play softball, you play golf, you had to be Gayay,
no offense to anybody out there softball players. So anyway back to your
initial so she's basically feeling you out, or she's seeing if she just likes
you. What was her looking back? I'm sure you had the conversation,
since looking back, I think she was just confirming or trying to confirm,
which in turn she wouldn't be wasting her time on this right. So my
long explanation basically at the end said, I totally understand if now this freaks
you out, I will be disappointed, because I do feel like there's a
connection and I would hope that maybe you would be open to seeing if this
connection is real and seeing what's going on. And then what felt like eight
hours for her to respond, which was probably like twenty minutes, she was
like, you know what, you seem different. It does kind of scare
me, but I'm willing to see where this goes. Okay, I have
a million questions. I'm here with Sarah held we're exploring her not so new
relationship anymore, but we gotta pay the bills around here, so I got
to take a quick break and we will be back right after this. And
we are back so early on in this relationship. What feels different about that
sort of nervous, awkward first couple dates and encounters with a woman versus of
guys, or anything different in the way you behavior is. It just seemed
exactly the same, other than the guy's not making moves constantly up until we
met, So like the first week, it felt exactly the same. There
was nothing different, okay, nothing like we were facetiming for hours because I
was out of town, so we didn't we couldn't meet right away. Now,
the first time we met, I would say it was a little nervous
in a different way, just because I'm like, oh my goddause, you
don't know how to get that right, Like and by the dude, is
she the dude? Right? Do I have to kiss her? What if
we do kiss each other? Like? What did you google anything before?
I did? Not handbook? There's no handbook of your a lesbian friend.
Yes I did, and I knew there was a common theme. Okay,
what you will never ever go back after tonight? Go back to dudes all
of them were like, really, are you ready for this? Because why
why were they said you were about to have the best sex of your life?
Really? Yeah? Huh? And I was like, whoa these are
bold statements. They are and these are from these are from gold Star lists.
They need to know gold stars is a woman who's never been with a
man. No, these are women one who's tried both yep sides of the
buffet yep okay, And they literally all of them were like, you're never
going back. Oh man, we are so obsolete. Okay, So okay,
So did that excite you? Of course? Okay? Or were you
like this? I mean, I'm still nervous at this point, just because
now I'm hey. I wanted it to be just as great in person as
it's been. Are you telling her along because you must have asked her like
how she's not exclusively with girls either her whole life? Right were you?
Were you asking her questions like and telling her you were nervous? Or did
you try and play cool like I got totally cool. I tried to play
totally No. I did not lead on to believe that I was nervous,
Okay, I no, I needed to play cool. And then she walked
in. I make fun of it now because she came from work, so
she was wearing scrubs. But I joke, I said, you walked in
with such like a lesbian stride, like I'm here and I mean business and
I'm sitting down like a boss. Now does she handle things differently like you're
you're sort of a young chicken and she doesn't want to scare you out of
the nest before you know, she must have had to handle that differently too,
right, or she like, I'm taking this down. No, it's
really weird because she has said from the beginning numerous times like I swear to
god, you were a lesbian in your past life or you were always meant
to be, so you're a natural list apparently Wow, apparently because you figure
from her pointy, But she doesn't want to scare you off as somebody who
likes her, and then she doesn't want to scare you off from the lifestyle
the possibilities. Yeah, and like obviously all the sexual things was so new
to me that and not new to her. So what are the We'll get
to the sex in a second, but what are the did you tell her
honestly like, I don't, I don't really know how to do this.
Can you lead, for lack of a better term, I did for this
second, I did. I think for the sex part, I did.
I was like just so you know, like there's I think I said,
just you know, there's gonna be a learning curve. Well, so back
up for the sex. So you you're out where where's the first date?
Um? At Kashmere's an old town Scottsdale, Okay, And um you're like,
at some point somebody's gonna kiss somebody. So we have a great I
we just talk as you would on any date. It's not about our sexuality
at all, is never brought up. It's just like a couple. But
how's that differ from like a couple of girlfriends? What makes it differently?
Where's the sexual chemist? Because I'm attracted, Like, I get that,
But so you've never even been attracted to a girl before, not like this?
And I've seen her she's smoking hot, Yeah not I'm a guy,
so I don't know if it's the same kind of smoking hot. I don't
know. It's weird. Okay. So you're with her and it's nervous the
way you are sitting at a bar with a guy. Is that the same
nervous energy or or you're like when you're out with a guy, at some
point, this jackass is gonna try and kiss me, and you kind of
know. It's more nervous in the sense that I really like this girl or
let's just say person, because if if there hasn't been very many guys I've
really liked and got butterflies, but it and what did you like about it?
The lack of bullshit, the lack of pretense, the yeah, she
was very just we were a lot alike in the way we communicated on face
time and text and everything. Very but we had a same age, a
lot in common. So you weren't attracted in like a forbidden fruit kind of
way. You were attracted like you would be attracted anybody. Correct, Okay,
I just I went with it. I tried not to think about it
too much and how much is your brain going at the same time, like
what does this mean? How do I how I explain this? How do
I explain it to myself? It was doing that for five days, so
I just had to like try to tell as many people as I could.
I think I like a girl because it was helping me like understand it in
my mind and mostly probably like, oh yeah, cool, my best friend
almost drove off the side of the road. She's like because I like sent
her a picture She's like, who is it? Is it someone from the
past? Who is he? Do I know him? And I sent the
picture. She's like, no, you're lying. You were lying, But
everyone else was like okay. My dad's like I'm not surprised. Oh yeah,
so I don't. Okay. So you're at this date, you're and
then when the when does the kiss happen? At the bar? So we
leave and I didn't know how this all goes. So I'm like, I'm
I guess I'll just flex here. Let's start out the gate. So I
threw down my credit card. I'm like, I got this, oh yeah,
And then we left and I actually had said it, why don't you
just take a cab. I will I will come get you in the morning
and bring you to your car. That way, you don't have to drive,
okay, And she finally agreed to it. So she kind of walked
towards my car and then she just went in. Oh like a dude,
she made the move. She made the move. Were you taken off guard
or were you like? I knew this was happening because when the guy you
walk out, you leave the bar with the guy, you know he's going
to make the move. Well, I was hoping as we were walking out
right, also still slightly nervous, but not as nervous because I had wine.
Were you how much wine? Oh? We probably had three or four
glasses, so you were fine to drive home, but she wasn't. Yeah,
I know. I look back at it, and I'm like, I
totally made you take a cab. I get her body weights lower than mine?
Yeah, probably, Yeah, she's a little thing. Yeah, okay.
And then so that kiss is did it feel like you crossed a threshold?
Then of the biggest point then for you is probably the kiss. Oh
yeah. And then I was like, oh, oh boy, I'm in
trouble. This is what they're talking about, right, And then I go
home and of course it's all you can think about. So she's like,
so that's so it ends. She still gets in the cab. Yeah,
it's just a quick makeout in the street. It was a pretty good makeout.
So there's probably security footage of this somewhere in old Absolutely. Absolutely.
Okay, So you go home nervous. What does this mean? I've never
done that? Can I do this? Not nervous at all? Now?
That felt normal? Yep, huh abnormally normal? Yeah, like that actually
got in my head a little more. I'm like, white, why is
this so normal? And should this have been what I should have been doing.
So you go backwards and you're like, oh my god, I waste
all this time with dude right penises? Yeah, I'm like, was I
just trying to make everything else work? Yeah? Okay. So the next
day, the next day, we're texting, or I think I started texting
her like do they get home? Did you get home? Okay? Yeah,
of course, like the dude, so you're the dude totally, and
she did and we I think we talked about how much fun we had and
blah blah blah. But then she um kind of went quiet. Oh she
called in sick to work that day because she drank too much or because she
wanted to see you. I think maybe about both. Okay, she was
a little hungover. Yeah, And so she finally wakes up after sleeping,
and then I went and got her and I pulled this move. I go
since that because her car was an old town I said, why don't I
come get you bring in your car, and then why don't you come out
to my house and we can watch a movie. My house is right down
the street. That's the kind of thing that a dude would do. Uhh
okay, And she was like, yeah, okay, okay, And I
don't want to get into the nitty gritty, so to speak of it.
But you did you ask questions before the sexual encounter? Did you like,
what do you do? Is you just like tell me what to do?
And I'm no good. I never even said tell me what to do?
So you just went along with I went with what felt. I don't know.
And still no googling, no googling. I mean, I've watched plenty
of porn in my life. Yeah, but as always, porn is never
an example of what people do. True. So you're like, I think
I know, and then you're like, oh, I kind of like that.
And then I just went for it, and I was nervous, prettier,
like yeah, I smell better. Oh everything is better. Sorry,
dude, I don't know. Dah. If I would girl, i'd be
a lesbian too. It's just better. Yeah, I mean yeah, so
when do you start telling people? Oh, well, I told my close
friends right before we even met that I think I like a girl. Oh
yeah. I was like, I'm in trouble, like I knew right away
that I was like, I kissed a girl and I think I like it.
Yeah, Cherry Chapstick. And then once we kissed, because my best
friend back home, she called me next day, she go, Okay,
how was it? Because I knew that was gonna be the determining factor,
like if it felt normal, and so the kiss was bigger than the other
stuff. Yeah, because if I didn't, if that didn't feel good to
me, then yeah, well just like with a dude. Yeah, okay,
so it did. And I told my best friend. She goes,
oh my god. And then so my best friend was asking about her,
and I told her, my bet, she's like, I like her better
than all the dudes you've dated so far? Probably yeah. Yeah. So
at what point do you guys have a conversation like is this something? Because
she has to be wondering are you ready to go in to put your chips
on the table in a girl girl relationship? Is this what you want?
Can you do this? Like? She has to be asking too many questions
as you are. Yeah, she didn't ask a lot. I do remember
her asking me at one point, do you see yourself in a long term
relationship with a girl? He said, well, I see myself in a
long term relationship with this girl right in front of me, Like, yes,
right, So it's not like you cross some rubicon and you're like,
oh now I like girls, you like this person's person. Yeah. There's
a lot of people who are like that, and it's like they're not gay,
that's straight. They're just like I'm looking for somebody to love and it
happens to be yeah that Yeah, and she, for the most part,
is the same way. Heaven't forbid if we ever broke up, which not
come what I hope doesn't happen, but I don't. I don't know that
I would. Now her social circle are they mostly straight? Mostly gay?
We actually just joked about this on her birthday. I brought my best friend
and she was the only straight girl, and Janet goes, I need to
like brought in my friend group. She's like, all of a sudden,
it's closed in and it's like all lesbians, right, So are they skeptical
of your commitment to her? And this I think maybe in the beginning,
like first few weeks and stuff back because they're probably protective of her, like,
oh, she's just right. I couldn't find anybody that night, right,
she's gonna go back, right, But now I don't. I don't
think there's any question, do you, um, at what point do you
she's met the family? She met my parents, So I told my parents
probably I told my brother three weeks in from the first time we spoke ever,
and then I told my parents probably a month, four to five weeks
him and then they met her. And most people in your life were probably
like. I could see that a lot of people were like and I and
I ask why, And a lot of the answers I get are because you're
just fun and really easygoing and not like judgmental, right, and so it
doesn't surprise me that you would be open to something like this. How many
people um or how many? So you again, you're a big golf person.
Now that you are UM and eligible lesbian? Are they coming out of
the woodwork? They're they're not, They're not they're not not yet. I
mean, I haven't but you can't even conside what do you consider yourself now?
Just somebody who likes somebody and no labels. I consider myself dating a
girl, okay, and that's how like? Now, are you attracted to
other girls like has that turned on anything? And you're walking down the street
and like, oh, she's hot, not any different. I don't think
so you used to think that. I used to look at a girl and
go out she's really pretty, but you didn't want to kiss her. I
always I thought cuddling sounded really weird, like I couldn't with another girl,
calling with another girl. I'm like, like braiding each other's hair and nails?
Is that my lesbian thing? That's really a thing? I mean we
have done it? Oh you have? Okay, So you don't look at
do you look at manity differently? No? Because I've been around you since
this, I feel like you are more easy going around the dudes because I
feel like you don't realize. You don't think like, oh I don't have
to date them. No, I've always been like that with the guys,
just indifferent until you were drunk. No, I just didn't date. It
took a certain one for me to date certain like does okay? So I
know this woman who wrote a book called Everything I Learned About Dating a Man
I learned from dating a woman. And when she went back to dating,
I'm not saying that's going to happen men she saw a lot of herself in
the lesbian relationship that were bad habits and the way she behaved with men,
and she became a lot better as a girlfriend and eventually a wife. Are
there things now that you're learning this relationship that you're like, oh, yeah,
I see what the guys were talking about. I must have been difficult,
like what and not difficult, but just like the emotional part. You
know, women are really emotional and needy. Like sometimes I like or she
will do it and it's something I would have done in my past relationships.
I'm like, oh my god, that's what I used to do, right,
because we're the same we're girls, right, right, So she's going
to do the same things I probably would, And I find myself going out.
I wonder he was so annoyed by that, Like this is annoying.
Yeah, you can is a good experiment even if no matter which it does,
Yes, it does which definitely, which is the whole point of this
here, Like getting out of your comfort zone can let you see everything in
a new light, and especially your own behavior, and I think it lets
you see other people around you that are close to you their true colors as
well. That's one thing I've learned the biggest difference between this and a serious
relationship you had prior. What is the biggest difference in this relationship? Is
it the easier communication because you're both women? I don't know it was for
a while. I mean we just are still in a relationship. So relationships
are hard. And what is the hardest thing, like anything else? I
mean sometimes it is communication, But we're an issue because that happens in a
Yeah, and I think you have two emotions, two periods too, you
know, like this is a lot, right, And we're not even SYNCD
up yet, so we're dealing with my PMS for one week, her pms
for the next week's half the month. Yeah, I give up. It's
that part's hard. Um. Did you have a talk about exclusivity? Yeah,
that was pretty quick. She got off the app and then I was
like, okay, good And I wasn't ever. I didn't go back on
the app once week exchange cell phone numbers. I didn't go back on.
Was she constantly taking your temperature on? Do you like this or you only
once? Only once? And what did she say? And I said,
ye, that feel No. That was when she said, could do you
see this UM with you having a long thing with a girl and I said,
yeah, I said, this feels good. I yes, And she
never asked again. How is it UM manifest itself or helped itself in other
aspects of her life? Do you? Are you more relaxed? Are you
calmer? Are you don't worry about stuff as it trickled into your business life
or anything else that you know it has? There are certain things you don't
think about, like UM. I was going to meet some clients of mine
and I was telling her about it, and I was like, I think
I'm gonna tell him that night. And I told her I'm like, they're
really strong Republicans. She was like, are you prepared to lose business?
Oh? Really, because you have to think about those things. Republicans would
be mad that you're with it. Well, I mean there is no and
you I'm Republicans, um, but there's a lot of more faith based like
Republican. Yeah, I get it. So that's put there. Yeah,
that's where it comes from it besides, and I told her right up,
I said, I don't care if somebody doesn't want to do business with me
because of that. But it is weird that we have to think about that.
Do you hold hands? Yeah? I think it was a little nerve
racking. Well, it was fine in the beginning, it was like all
hands on deck. Then I got a little like sometimes uncomfortable. But then
when we went to California pretty early together, and once I was there,
I didn't give a shit. I don't know anyone there, and be it's
I felt comfortable. And then ever since then it's fine. Besides the touchy
feely stuff. Is there anything that you that she has gotten you to think
or do radically differently? So you can say, like she changed your personality?
No, what about her? Is there anything that you're she's like,
oh, you know what, I've never No, I don't think. So.
You guys are just being yourselves. We're being totally ourselves. We are
opposite enough where we kind of balance each other out in certain ways. So
getting out of your comfort zone help? Do you find comfort? It did?
Look at that and a hot girl and a hot girl. Yeah,
and she's smart too, which is a bad bonus. Yeah, so does
this? So does this mean you're willing to step out of your comfort zone?
And no, not that far out of my comfort zone. I'm good,
But um, but I was. I was not somebody. You know,
I can see the frustration. I know a lot of women who who've
done this. Men are less likely to do this probably, but well,
when we women joke about it a lot, like if we're not dating someone
by this age, we're just going to be together. Yeah, because it
just makes sense. Yeah, No, I know a lot of um but
the way, I know a lot of women who have done that and found
happiness. And it doesn't mean that it's happily arrest doesn't mean you're never dated
a guy again. It doesn't mean anything. I mean, it just thinks,
like right now, in this moment, this works for you. There
are little things that you didn't think, you don't think about like that I
had to learn. Like when she would go out with her girlfriends, I'd
be like why. I'd feel like, why aren't you inviting me? Yeah,
but she's like, remember, Sarah, you're still my partner. Like
imagine if it's guy's night essentially, yeah, yeah, and those kind of
things you don't think about. How much of a kick do you get out
of it that guys think she's hot? I love it. I love it.
That's what it's like. Wait, what ah, my guy friends.
I know if you if you go back and listen to that episode, it's
like three fifty eight or something like that, and you hurt my reaction because
you just brought into like I dropped it out without you even have you brought
her to the golf course yet? I brought her a golf course like three
times and she's good, of course. Really yeah, it's annoying. She's
an athlete, you know. Yeah, everyone knows. Um, I shouldn't
say that because all of a sudden, I've been getting messages on my Instagram
because of my new name of my new podcasts, and they go, wait
a minute, I'm kind of putting two and two together. Are you dating
a girl? Now? Yeah? Yeah, I am all right. Lesson
learned great love listeners, get out there across the crossom or the other side,
if that's what works. Um, all right, tell everybody where you
can find this aforementioned podcast, and what's called? So I thought it was
appropriate to name it Switching Teams? I think, So, has she been
on your podcast? She hasn't. We haven't got there yet. Yeah,
Well, in a relationship, if she wants, I feel like you've been
on here like two or three times. Yeah, but she's she prefers to
be a little more private. So I don't know. You're on this podcast
wants as a straight girl, wants in transition and now here on the other
side. On the other side, Yeah, sticking your toe under the water.
Um, it's called switching teams. And you can find it everywhere you
find your podcast. Correct, yep, And we talk about a lot of
golf, but we're gonna dive into everything, so to speak. Yeah,
right when I came out of my mouth and Mis're like, okay, it's
gonna jump on this all right. I'm proud of you. I read you
and your happiness at the end of the day, it's about funny your happiness
as far as us, not just Switching Teams, but Great Love Debate,
Like, share, follow, Please review this podcast or reviews mean a lot
in the podcasting ecosystem. Shoot us an email Great Love Debate at gmail dot
com and I will send you a picture of Sarah's girlfriend. Um, and
go to Great Love Debate dot com. I don't know. We just did
a show, a live show. We kicked off our tenth season of the
tour. I'm probably gonna do one right here. In Phoenix. I have
not done a Great Love Debate show in Phoenix in about six years, which
is weird because I get asked to do them and I think I'm going to
do it. Um so look at the look at the dates for that and
all the rest because, as always at the Great Love Debate, we never
stopped making love. See you next time. The Greatest Love Debate, it's
the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate.