Once in a while on the radio, I'll come up with an idea and
then it comes time to do it, and I'm like, oh god.
I think one of the worst was fifteen, probably close to twenty years ago.
I decided to broadcast from the Toys r Us down in Bloomington on a
lift, like an outdoor construction lift, and I set up a tent up
there and I would broadcast from there all day. Every day. I lived
up there. I slept in a tent, and I remember I got there
on a Monday morning and I was gonna be there until Friday afternoon, raising
toys for Toys for tot So it was around this time of the year and
it was cold, but you know, I'm a camper and I know how
to be like outdoors and stay warm and whatever, so I was fine.
It was just long and boring, and I remember that Monday morning going,
what have you done? You're gonna be here all week on this fucking scissors
lift and you're gonna be broadcasting live. Big of a mistake was this?
Did you so you had to do it till Friday? Yeah, That's what
I decided to do, and I'd be like, bring by your toys,
and I remember I was right across from the Best By corporate office and they
hung a big sign in their window that said go Dave or something like that,
which was cool and people would honk as they drove by. But it
was just the long thing that I decided that was nutted. Was I didn't
like it? Well, yeah, and like, I know you said that
you camp and whatever, but it's still like not fun to be outside in
the cold. And were you able to get off a lift and go like
enjoy your day in machine? Okay? God, yeah, I had to
go to the bathroom and I could walk inside of Toys r Us and you
know whatever, and you know, people would come by, so I didn't
have to stay on the lift the entire time. But that was one.
There was another one where and I've done this several times. When I was
twenty two, I lived in Las Vegas, and I decided to raise money
for some charity by sitting in every single seat at the Thomas and Mack Center,
which is basically their version of the Excel Energy Center. It's still there,
and I sat in every single seat while I was twenty one or twenty
two. Wasn't that hard then? I did it when I lived in Columbus.
I sat in every seat at the Ohio State Stadium, the Horseshoe.
Huh. And that's like one hundred thousand seats. That was a bad idea.
That took a week. I was going to say, was it a
matter of you getting up and then moving immediately to the next seat and then
keep going. Yeah, his knees up and down, and then you would
bang your hips on the side of the arm rest as you did it,
so you had to give it up enough you couldn't just slide over. Then
I did it in Arizona, and then I did it here at the Excel
Energy Center. And by the time I did it here, I was like,
way too old to do that. I was probably like, I don't
know, thirty five or something, and was like, this is a terrible
idea. A friend of mine who was pretty heavy, he called me a
couple of years ago and he's like, hey, I'm thinking about doing your
sit in the seat marathon. And he lived in Indianapolis, and I said,
Okay, yeah, do it, but before you commit to doing it,
go down to the stadium, have him let you in and do a
couple of sections to see what it feels like, because you might be surprised
at how fucking exhausting it is. And so he did, and he called
me back later that day or next day or whatever, and he said,
I am so glad I talked to you because I had no idea how hard
that was, and I am not going to do it. Yeah. So
the reason I bring it up is because I'm doing the whale joke later on
today. Yes, the whale jokethon and it sounds like fun, but an
hour of telling the whale joke could be a lot. I think it'll be
a lot. You've been drinking some coffee this morning, so that's probably good.
Like the heat on your throat, I feel like you should probably sit
on some tea from the kitchen up over here. Yeah, I sit on
some tea beforehand, just because I think that, Like, I don't know,
I'm speaking from perspective of I just hosted a game at the Timberwolves and
my voice was hurting from like screaming on the microphone. And I only screamed
every like five minutes. It wasn't like a consistent and hour of going.
And so I'm concerned, not that you can not do it, but that
your throat is going to start to hurt to the point where you get like
coffee, and like you your coffee and you can keep going. We'll have
some water. The hot tea is a good idea. The good news with
the whale joke is I can take long pauses. I can be like so
I can take long pauses in there, but I might regret doing it.
But we're raising money for Christmas wish. I hope you'll come through. By
the time you hear this, the whale joke on will probably be over because
we're recording right now. Before the whale joke, all right, let us
move on to this is somebody requested this. I think they requested Jenny's Christmas
song? Is that the story? They did? Yeah last week and so
sorry, we're just getting to it, but we finally remember to do it
on the Minnesota Goodbye because we're not allowed to play it on the radio.
They did request it on the radio, and it is inappropriate and cannot be
played on the radio. Okay, I don't re remember it well enough to
remember why, but now I'm curious to find out what it is. So
here's Jenny's It's called Last Christmas. Is that right? Yep? Here it
is Jenny's Christmas song on kW parody song what's it called? You want to
get? Called Last Christmas? Oh? Wow? Original title? I love
that. Yes, Now, hopefully when I push this button, it'll all
work and we'll find it here we go try it once I've left and twice
right. Yeah, Christmas Day was lonely, but then we match that night
you said, baby, do you want to wow? Wow, Well it's
been a year. I'll like some month. Wow Jesus Christmas. You whispered
as you pumped it, then lefting out the same. So much fun,
but half split. Now I know I won't see you again. You played
me real good and I'll cry. And last Christmas we humped in the sect
and the very next day you ran away. This to save me from tears.
I'm giving up men in the boot until one week they want to get
you. In the next week they can go see you, and then you
talk again. And these two dumb about meeting their mommy go to vacation together,
but you've never even been to their place. So oh you know they're
married, but you're crazy one and they do then okay, wow, so
many girls can relate. That's funny. I can see why Steve said no
the first the second bleep. I think the second was the problem. The
fact that you got eight seconds into the song and said what you wanted to
do, and that you wanted a blank and blank and blank. So no,
very clever, good job, Jenny. I had forgotten about that song.
So that goes back to like the Steve days. Yeah, at least
a couple of three years ago. It probably it would have been at least
like probably four to five Christmases ago because I was single at the time.
So that's why I was talking about swiping on Tinder. But the best part
of that was seeing that you have some of the same reactions at the same
time as you did originally. No, all these years later, that was
my organic reaction. That's kind of crazy. It is the basically the Minnesota
Goodbye, and I think that's what they're referring to on this one. Drake
and heeds dnswering the phone. Drake is. We love Drake, but a
lot of the time he sits in the other room and all the phones are
ringing and blazing, and Drake is on his phone and we don't know what
he's doing on his phone. Don't know, but he's probably swiping left and
right on Tinder. That's probably what he's doing, and he might be.
But I just hate it when people call it because this is how radio stations
work. They give out their request line number and then they never answer the
fucking request line, and it's just it really annoys me because I think one
of the reasons that I love radio so much and that I've acquired some moderate
skill in it, is because I know what it's like to be a listener,
and so I know what it's like when you call the radio station and
they don't answer the request line. Yeah, it's like you're either right there
and you don't care, or you're not there, but you ask me to
come and support your party, but you're not answering the calls. So when
people call, we like to answer the phone. All right, next one,
And I'm originally from Minneapolis but relocated to London about five years ago.
I listen to your podcast every day to help keep me connected to the cities.
It's been a hectic year with my one year old breaking his leg and
being in a half body cast. Wow a one year old. Wow.
So I wanted to say thank you to the Dave Ryan Show to help provide
a little bit of normalcy and connection to family back home over the past year.
That is from Sonia, Sonia, thank you very much for listening.
Next one, echoing what a lot of emails say. Thankful for your show
and for you all. It'll be our first Christmas morning where we will actually
be at home. Normally we're all out of town visiting extended family. I'm
thrilled to be home with just my crew, but now I'm a loss for
what we should do. Please share any Christmas morning or day traditions that you
have that you do currently or from your childhood, or any ideas that you
have heard of. That is from Kelly. I didn't have any from our
childhood. Really nothing unusual. We go to church on Christmas Night. We're
going to the Vikings game this year on Christmas Eve, so Christmas Eve we
usually go to church. We come home and we make oyster stew and crab
legs. We sometimes will open one present, and then the next morning we
get up and we open presents. We take our time, one person at
a time, so you go around the room instead of like just a big
jumble. And then Susan makes egg bake and then we watch the fireplace the
ulogue and then that's kind of our morning. What about you, Sice,
I don't really have traditions ours. Our Christmases are all over the place between
my family in Wisconsin and Andrews's family here, so we travel a lot between
the Christmas time. But when I was growing up, my favorite thing was
we always did church and Christmas Eve service was always fun because you basically just
sang Christmas songs and there wasn't much of like a sermon, you know,
so that was always super fun. And then afterwards we would go and look
at all the Christmas lights around my hometown. And there's one park called Lakeside
Park that had Santa was there before he went off and did all of his
present delivery, and then it just was really decked out in decorations. So
that was our big tradition, was doing the Christmas lights on Christmas Eve.
That's pretty cool. I like that. It's funny because in our neighborhood there
is an over the top Christmas display. The guy starts working on it like
by Halloween, and is it like the one that's sank to his music.
It is synked to music on the radio. He does such a great job,
and people are like, on most weekend nights there's a couple of cars
parked in front of their house, and it's just so cool that he does
such a great job. Aye, all right. Next one, totally different
topic, and I love this one all the way from Greenville, Ohio.
This is Kaylee, and Kaylee says, I'm curious. Jenny has said in
the past that she has paid her student loans off. How I owe sixty
five thousand. I paid seventeen thousand so far, and only fifty dollars total
has gone to principle. Wow, Jenny, anything about paying off your student
loans? Okay, I don't know at what point you started paying your loans.
So mine have already been paid off for like six or seven years.
But when I got out of college, I was a server, and I
actually, like, I think there's this misconception that servers don't make good money.
You can make pretty good money as a server. So I was paying
and increments of like three or four thousand dollars at a time once I reached
that amount in my savings, and so I was paying off so quickly that
my interest wasn't building up, so I only I did not have that much.
I had thirty six thousand dollars in student loans, which is a lot
still, but I was paying them off. And I also am just very
good at saving money. I was not traveling when I was younger. That's
why I try to travel now because I did not have a lot of fun
in my twenties, my early to mid to early late twenties, I did
not have a lot of fun because I was spending all my money putting it
towards student loans. So you're very disciplined that way, and I think that's
the way to do it, because you know, we did that with our
homes. And yes, we've got two homes. We had the one in
Colorado and we've got the one in Minnesota, and they are they're both paid
off. We've been very lucky because we were very, very very disciplined and
we would pay extra so they got paid off a little bit sooner, and
that we did not. We got a boat, but we got a seventeen
foot boat that was way too small. And here I am bitching about my
boat's too small. But we were very, very very disciplined, and that's
just the way we were so we could pay extra on our house payment and
get them paid off sooner. So plus we're older, so we've had a
lifetime of been able to you know, to pay off houses and that type
of thing. So but yeah, I mean, the more disciplined you are,
it's kind of like this. It's like I was telling Chase last night,
my son, Chase is doing so well at his TV station in Arizona
that a couple of times they've his stories have gone national. For example,
there was a prom posal story that Chase did that went national to all the
NBC affiliates, and so after his competition saw that it went national, they
went and did the same promposal story one day later, but it was Chase's
story, And I said, Chase, the secret to success is working hard
and having talent. Those two are the magic bullet to success, working hard.
And so it's kind of like financially, the secret financially is be disciplined
and don't blow your money on shit that you don't need. Yeah, I
mean it also trusts me, I get it. An important part of that
is making enough money, and a lot of people don't make enough. Right,
I was gonna say it depends on how much money you make. But
I think that there are people who start off making fifty thousand dollars and then
they make one hundred thousand dollars and they're still not saving any more money because
they are just like, oh, this is more money that I can spend.
And I have been very lucky to have the quality of I want to
save money. There are other people in my family who are the exact opposite
of me. So I get it that it's hard for some people to save
money. I get that it is, But there's also a little mental thing
that you fool yourself with where if you get a raise, you think,
oh my god, now I'm making eighty two thousand dollars a year. Fucking
great money, you tell yourself, And it is. But now you think
you've got a lot of disposable income. Well you really don't still. I
mean, you don't have a whole lot more disposable income. But it's like
if somebody all of a sudden makes one hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year
and now they think they're rich. Don't get me wrong, You're making really
good fucking money, but you're not a millionaire. That means you can't afford
all the things that you want. Don't listen to me. I have no
idea what I'm talking about, all right? Next one, I got an
email from to my grad school account from a Marine recruiters from the same person,
trying to recruit me to be an officer for seventy thousand dollars starting.
Have any of your listeners ever heard of this or is it a scam?
Dave? I know you're an Air Force family, so I don't know if
you had any information. If it's real, it might be something to look
into, as I'm currently a public school teacher and not making a lot of
The recruiters said I'd move up to one hundred and twenty five thousand and four
years and cover grad school tuition and beyond. The easiest thing to do is
to call your local Marine recruiting office and ask whether it's real. Yeah,
that's the easiest way to do it. Don't take their word for it.
It sounds like a scam to become a Marine officer. They do want a
college graduate and Marine and all military branches are having trouble recruiting right now.
But I don't know if you'd move up to one hundred and twenty five thousand
and four years. I don't know easiest way to do it, very simple,
go online, look up the phone number of your marine recruiter and they
will be able to tell you. But it might be worth something to check
into. I signed a devoted Ohio listener Kaylee ps Dave. The way you
tell jokes is reminiscent of my late grandfather. It sometimes brings tears to my
eyes listening to you tell jokes because because practically no one tells jokes like that.
Now I wish I knew what she meant, but I'll take that as
a compliment. Oh and if you're feeling generous, I would love to have
a listener sticker. Kayleie, you got it. I will send you one
out. Also shout out to Chris who put our sticker on his garage fridge,
the one that I accidentally called the garbage fridge, and he sent a
picture of the Dave Ryan Show sticker in the Minnesota Goodbye staff writer. So
thank you, Chris. I appreciate that. And that is going to do
it for today. Tomorrow is Naughty Tuesday on the Minnesota Goodbye. So if
you want to send in something Naughty a funny love making story that went awry,
or advice or something about something to do with anything sexual. Then send
it in to Ryan Show at ktwbat dot com for Naughty Tuesday