WEBVTT

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This is a downbeat. The little
hockey team did something good last night.

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They went again. Are they clinched? They clinched first in the Western Conference

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and they did it in a shootout
against Saint Louis last year. There,

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dude, that was here. And
it was a late game because I saw

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a tweet from Grooves at around nine
to thirty and it said I at hockey

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game. I was like, oh
cool, I wonder it's probably about over

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and they were barely in the first
period. Geez. Really yeah, really

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strange. So that's the last one
of the regular season, right, I

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think it is? Is it?
Is it their final? Or they have

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one more? N that appears to
be it. Yep, and we got

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two seven Let's see we got how
many more MAVs we got? Well,

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we got Clippers that Sunday. Yeah, we've been done. Jesus, play

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off on ABC. I can't wait. Let's start with that in Sports at

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seven, Get job Stars, and
now sports at start with our little Mavericks.

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I guess. And we will watch
the Stars playoff games and be pumped

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and talk about them the day after. But I don't know. I'm locked

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in on MAVs. I'm very fired
up. You're ready for next week because

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you know what next week means.
What, Well, we get the beautiful,

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beautiful two thirty pm tip on Sunday, and then you and I are

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off on Monday, and then you
and I come back on Tuesday well rested

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and fresh, only to have to
probably stay up until midnight to watch a

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nine pm first tip. And I'm
assuming that on Tuesday night the first tip

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will be Okay, yep, So
we've got MAVs clips on TNT. First

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tip scheduled for nine o'clock. In
reality, it'll probably be closer to nine

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thirty. And that's if the Tea
Wolves and Sons finish their game in regulation.

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Sure, that's double ot thriller.
And I don't know how to navigate

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this man, because there's nothing worse
than coming in here and rocking three hours

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of sleep. Yeah, but I'm
not missing. I'm not either, So

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we're just gonna do it. Yep. That's why we are not only the

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comedy first responders or the first responders
of comedy. Yeah, first responders of

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sports. Okay, he's Danny Bayless. It's gonna be Mike Roy Kevin week.

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It's gonna be an awesome week.
It starts Sunday, and we discussed

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this a little yesterday. We need
to we need to lock this down.

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I'm going to Las Vegas and gambling
is legal there, and my MAVs bone

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is full masked and I want to
get down on big action and I invite

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you to do the same with me. And yesterday a bunch of people texting

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they want to get in. No, not doing it. We're not getting

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everybody in on this. This is
just you and I, all right,

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And I think you should send me
three hundred dollars, okay, And if

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you do that, and these odds
could fluctuate a little bit, I don't

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know, but I will get us
bets on. The first one would be

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the MAVs are minus one against the
Clippers this Sunday, Game one in Los

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Angeles. If we think the MAVs
are gonna win the series, I mean

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it is odd their favorite on the
road, but I part of me thinks

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that they are going to handle up
on the Clippers good and that would mean

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winning the first game. Now,
they could lose the first game, so

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win the series, no problem.
But I think if we believe in them

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and they do thump the clips,
you know you would never get a minus

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one again in the series. And
I think first game, I think we

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get down on it, okay,
and that's just basically straight up to one,

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straight up, it'll basically two hundred. I'll cover the big so it'll

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be two twenty to win, to
win two hundred bucks, basically double our

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money. Yeah, so we would, you know, make two hundred bucks

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each if whatever veigs or fees or
whatever included. I don't even know what

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that means. That's the juice you
got to pay the man. Okay.

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So if it's if they're minus one
ten, so you have to pay one

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hundred and ten dollars to win one
hundred dollars and they build a new casino

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in the desert. I mean,
that's how it works. So we'll put

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two twenty to win two hundred.
That's just straight up that game. Then

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it gets more exciting because if you
do believe in them to win the Western

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Conference right now, you can get
them at seven to one. It was

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six to one yesterday. Well that
I again, it might be I don't

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know what it'll be at the sports
book. I'm at right know, and

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I'm probably not going to walk and
shop around all these sports books. So

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whenever they're offering, you definitely want
to get these bets in before they play.

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Oh yeah on Sunday, I'll get
them in tonight. Obviously you'd have

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to write yeah, because that would
change Yeah, yeah, I mean if

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they thumped the Clippers in Game one
on the road, that's going to drop

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that Western Conference thing is going to
drive rather like that. That gives them

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a massive advantage in their first series, and that puts them one step closer.

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So yes, the odds would change
significantly. Well, I'll get these

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in this afternoon. Okay, seven
to one to win the West. Okay,

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now that is a seven hundred dollars
payout. Yes, so it's two

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hundred, fourteen hundred dollars. Are
we still at sixteen to one for the

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to win to win it all,
win the whole shebang? Sixteen to one,

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So that's one hundred bucks to win
sixteen hundred collectively are two hundred to

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win thirty two hundred bucks. But
yes, if you send me the three

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hundred, we'll have three bets.
You win a hundred bucks essentially if they

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beat the Clippers someday, Okay,
if they win, then we'll just be

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holding our tickets and they got to
win the West and that'll be seven hundred

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bucks, and then sixteen hundred bucks
if you win twenty three. This is

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the fun part is where you add
up all your winnings like, okay,

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god, that'll be a lot of
money to do that twent It won't be

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us just ripping tickets. About ten
days from now, the Clippers close them

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out for one after taking them in
the the series opener. Of course they

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lose the game one, and you
know, just tear them all up.

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I'll tell you what I feel like. My odds are much better doing that

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then refunding my whatever it's called lotto
pocket app three. Yeah, jack pocket

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app for three hundred. Oh I'm
put in twenty and I did win seven.

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Okay, that's pretty solid seven bucks
off of a jackpocket. But I'm

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down to a dollar. You have
a dollar in my account? Oh well,

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one scratchy. I haven't got any
emails from jackpocket either. I got

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that one. You're a winner.
I was like, what did I win

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the power ball? No? You
click on your email because that would be

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how you found out. I know. Yeah, yeah, I wonder if

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you win the whole m effort?
Yeah, how it's different. If they

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send you that email and it just
tells you like you would have contact your

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local you'd have an effing heart attack. If you were you wouldn't believe it.

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Number One, if you clicked on
your jackpocket app Jackpocket email it said

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or just the app and the balance
was twenty dollars and now it's one point

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two billion, like refresh. I
don't think that's how it works. I

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wonder if they say, yeah,
you need to call you need to call

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a human Yeah, and a lawyer. Yeah. Well look, that's a

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fool's air. And when you bet
with throwing industries, you bet to win,

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all right. This is the man
that is admitted on these airwaves that

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he's lost in excess of one hundred
thousand dollars gambling in his life excess.

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Right, Yes, that's a guess. But yeah, okay, I'm a

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terrible gambler. I do not feel
like my money is safe with you in

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pretty much any aspect, especially this
one. But I'm still going to do

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this. You're in the right headspace, Yeah, you're in the right where

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I need you. Now. The
problem is what an idiot if we win?

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Yeah, I fear the I fear
the wild ass ploy to reinvestt to

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just let me hang on to it. He's also going to win. Yeah,

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Rangers, now reinvest. No,
this is a one These are a

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one off or a three off bet. We're putting one hundred bucks each.

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You know what idiot Italian boy would
want in on this? I don't even

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have to ask him. And you
know we will find out if he has

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an ear button his ear on Lake
Como, because they'll be texting us in

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just a second. That says I'm
in. But when we should include him,

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she wouldn't. I don't think he
would admit to that that he's listening

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to us while he's on an Italian
lake. He doesn't want to miss out

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on action. He's hot. Plays
who likes action more? You or him?

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I think him. I think he
does too. I think just because

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he's younger. I'm I'm a little
older, and I know that I'm just

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paying for entertainment. I think he
still clings to hope that riches await I

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know it, they won't. I
mean that's why I play slots, dude,

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you do or don't? I do
because it's the because it's my only

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chance to make it all back in
one second. You know, it's the

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only thing you do in there that
you could make ten thousand dollars in ten

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seconds. And I know it's just
less odds and longer shot and suckers bet.

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And it's ninety seven or ninety three
percent of a casino's income is via

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the slot machine. Yeah, that's
crazy. That's why they're everywhere. Like

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those table games are the a work
as well. I did a big deep

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dive on this years ago when we
were going to Vegas on percentages and what

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your actual best bet in Vegas was, and I don't really remember all of

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that. I'm pretty sure your literal
best bet in Vegas is craps to back

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up the point number, you know, if you put ten bucks on the

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on the pass line and then the
numbers set at six, and to back

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that up with maximum, which I
think is forty dollars if you put ten,

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I think backing up that bet is
your best odds in Las Vegas.

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But the bad odds roulette is not
great odds, but it's fun. Christina

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likes it. And if you just
get kind of lucky, you can tread

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water and spend some time at the
table, get a bunch of drinks.

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I played Roulette for three hours before
broken even had ten drinks. Had an

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absolute blast of a time, Tendrey, Yeah, I can only imagine.

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Yes, I think the first time
I've only been to Vegas once, and

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the first night there, I spent
the entire night until the sun came up

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playing video poker. Yeah, it
just straight up Texas hold'em, playing against

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the computer. And I think I
actually came out a little bit ahead,

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and I would have come out more
ahead because I was trying to be strategic

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and when to do max betting.
And I remember I went on this really

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bad run of betting all of my
credits because I think you could go up

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to like at the time, this
was a long time ago, that you

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could bet five credits. Essentially you're
playing a quarter or whatever. I remember

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at one point it was I got
a little bit down and I'm looking at

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my bankroll and I'm thinking, man, I probably need to back off for

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a little bit and try to rebuild
this back up. And the first time

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I pulled back max credits to betting
a single credit, I hit a straight

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flush. Really yeah, oh,
betting a single credit. Yeah. I

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dropped from from max credits to single
credits, and I popped a straight flush

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which at the it paid like five
hundred bucks, but it should have paid

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about twenty five hundred bucks. And
I would have just walked away at that

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point. And that fuels you think
the whole thing is rigged. It is

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rigged. I feel like it can't
be that random that the one time that

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you back off, ease up on
your on your juice that they give you,

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they reward you. I don't know. I mean, I don't know

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how that works legislation and oversight for
these things that I don't know. I

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mean, look, I don't think
though it's rigged like that. Yeah,

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I mean it's rigged to a percentage
to pay out less than it takes in

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over a long period of time.
But I don't think it's right. Like

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my nightmare is to play max bets
on a slot for an hour and then

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you know, you get down to
the credit, your credits get below the

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minimum them out for max bets,
you have to lower your bet and then

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you lower it like you said,
the lowest one, and then you hit

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the progressive and you're not eligible for
it, you know, because you didn't

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bet bet max or that you get
up after two hours at the slot,

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and as you're walking away, the
grandma sits down with their oxygen tanking and

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hits yep. And don't you know
what if you get off off a slot,

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just get it away from that thing
as quick as possible. You don't

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don't want to know. I don't
want to see that. I don't want

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to see the balloons drop and the
glitter and the sparkler girls come out and

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them with the giant check for gam
gam as. I'm open back to the

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bar I had to. I mean, like, I played video poker back

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when it was like it's kind of
legal in Texas, or playing it online,

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not video poker, online poker,
and until they kind of shut that

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down. But I felt I could
tell that whether it was being prone to

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an addicted personality or whatever, I
knew how I felt playing those games and

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gambling, and I knew that I
probably needed to not do that anymore because

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it wasn't something that I could afford
to be an addict to. No exactly,

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Well, we talked about we're talking
about the Otani thing and the amount

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you bet, and there's some sort
of gauge inside of every human of what

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you you know, you, Well, I don't know. Some people are

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just smart and hell, I think
women are just in general smarter than men,

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and women in my life don't really
gamble. Like Christina is going this

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week and I think it is her
first time in Vegas, and I think

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she has budgeted for gambling on the
entire trip one hundred dollars. That's so

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smart. And she's like nervous about
it. She's like, what am I

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gonna play? And I'm like,
a hundred bucks that's I mean, Christina,

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this has happened where Christina's like,
I have to go to the bathroom,

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like cool, of course, help
her find a bathroom, and I

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sit down at a slot to wait
while she's in the bathroom, and I

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torch one hundred bucks. Yeah,
in the slot machine, because you play

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max bets, and some of these
fan slot machines, you hit max bet

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and forty five dollars just jumped out
of your account, like they make it

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confusing. I don't know what the
max bet was, right, like I'd

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like to put I mean fifteen bucks
per bet, you know, five,

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ten, fifteen, three times play, And there's a reason like that.

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There's a reason why those damn machines
are everywhere in that city, right.

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I remember leaving Vegas to come back
to Dallas in the airport and there's slot

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machines all over the airport, or
at least there were back then. Oh

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there are. Did they have the
Did they still have the cigarette atrium at

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Mcarran? Yeah? I think they
do. My god. I mean,

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if you've never been to Vegas,
there's this little uh class figurette there's this

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plastic cube that's inside the airport that
you walk by, and it's just this

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big like a room that it's clear
glass and you can go inside and smoke

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with cigarette in this little thing in
the inside the airport, and inside there

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are slot machines. So you're I've
got this addiction to this, this tobacco.

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I've got to go feed this.
Well what have we here? For?

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One? I don't mess aroun at
the airport because I usually leave depressed

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and broke, broke, and I
just don't. But I love it.

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I don't care. It's fun,
man, but it is fun. And

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I love that feeling that that I
guess it's adrenaline or dopamine or whatever it

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is, and you keep chasing it
because you want that that feeling to keep

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going, but I always found myself
at the end of it. And maybe

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this is what a good A good
night of cocaine feels like. Is he

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keep chasing it all night and then
you realize it's like, Okay, this

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just isn't gonna work out for me. And then the come down off of

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that that dopamine, it's just a
bummer. I remember feeling depressed the next

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day. Yeah. Now, granted
the time that I realized that that gambling

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is not for me unless it's something
fun like we're doing up here with the

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masters, or I'm throwing you venmowing
you three hundred bucks to bet on my

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favorite basketball team. But I knew
that it was wrong for me when I've

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told you the guys this story before. When we did the hey, let's

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go to Shreveport tonight. Sure,
Me and three of my friends drove to

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Shreveport. Two of the friends were
degenerate gamblers that loved blackjack, and we're

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gonna sit at a table all night
long. Me and the girlfriend of one

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of these dudes found our way to
the cheap slots and we sat there for

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about two hours and played cheap slots. And I'll be damned to play in

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those slots. I got up like
five hundred and six hundred dollars, took

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the money, went back and found
the dudes playing blackjack and sat with and

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one of the guys that's kind of
an expert at it told me how to

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bet. I lost all of that
money in about ten minutes doing just following

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his instruction, like we were colluding
at the table, which I don't know

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if that's legal or not. It's
fine, it's fine. And he's like

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telling me exactly what to do,
and he's kind of bait, figuring out

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how he's going to play based on
what he knows I'm going to play.

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And I lost every bit of that
money in about ten or fifteen minutes.

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And I was blasted out of my
brain on free alcohol and woke up the

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next day in a hotel room bed
and had three receipts in my pocket from

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the ATM for one hundred dollars each
with fifteen dollars ATM fees. And not

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only did I lose that six hundred
bucks, I went in the hole another

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three hundred and felt like crap.
I was hungover and just felt shame and

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to come down off of that whole
evening, like I'm never doing this again

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because I'm not mature enough to handle
it. And you do it again and

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I didn't. Never went back.
Well, that's never been to a casino

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since. Okay, Well that's how
I've lost. What I've lost is because

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yes, I feel that same thing, and then you get kind of an

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itch, like, all right,
let's get back to it, let's fix

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all this, let's make it all
right. I like our odds with the

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MAVs, though I do too.
I feel good too if they just win

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Sunday. I mean, you've doubled
your money, yeah, and that chips

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away at the bet that you made
on the West or on the NBA Finals,

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you should be good. The other
reason, I don't know if slots

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are rigged, but I always see
in commercials, for you know, even

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our you know, the greatness of
chalk taw. In the commercial, they

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can show the slot machine hitting like
the ultimate progressive thing, and then the

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beautiful woman in the sequin dress goes
yes and they cheers their martini glasses.

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So I'm like, well, you
can do it in the commercial, so

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I know you're at least capable.
Commercials don't lie you're at least capable of

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making that machine hit what you want
at the head. It's true. I

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love it, dude. I don't
know. You're gonna have great time to

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have a blast. And we had
enough fun stuff planned going to concerts and

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uh dinners and stuff. And plus
it's Christina's first time in Vegas, which

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I'm almost more excited about than anything. That's one of the cool things about

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And she's such so open minded and
fun about these She's so good to go

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with stuff. She just wants to
go and have a good time. I

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mean, maybe foolishly, but she
trusts that I tend to know what the

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hell is going on. I mean, I've been in Vegas a lot,

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so I'm I know all these directionally
where we're headed and all that, and

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I just want to see her see
it, you know. I mean,

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it's something to see. Man.
You don't realize how massive that strip is

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until you walk out of your hotel
room and see how wide that damn street

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is and how long. And it's
just in cool as far as you can

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see, it's as far as you
can see, brightest lights and all this

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stuff. And she wants to see
the Fountain of belage, you know,

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like yeah, and I like teristy
stuff. When I went, I stayed

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at the Venetian and it was pretty
new. Yeah, it was like damn

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near brand new. I think it
opened that you and just you can just

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stay in your hotel at some of
those places and never leave and not be

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bored. Yeah, you know.
And the restaurants are incredible. It's so

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good. Back in my buffet days, you know about probably in my twenties,

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late twenties when I went, what
you get to eat all of it?

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Boy, they crank the prices up
on those now though, I think

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you're fifty bucks? Oh yeah,
they were, They were twenty five thirty

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bucks, you know, twenty thirty
years ago. So if they are really

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fifty sixty bucks for the Venetian Buffet, and I guess they're like, oh,

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it's all King crab leg and stuff. Thank King. I think I

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could go now, rab Leg.
I think I could go now and handle

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myself. I do. But yeah, at twenty nine, oh good,

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I'll be there in eight hours.
All right, I'll get you that cash.

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Let's bet on some MAVs. We's
bet on the MAVs. This has

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been sports at seven. Uh we
should have done that during the scuttle butt.

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Instead of that, we screwed things
up, so I actually do probably

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in the scuttle butt, Let's get
to the dude was banned for life in

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the damn NBA. I want to
get to Mark Cuban's Texas, Yes,

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and we never got that yesterday.
We'll discuss next right here on ninety seven

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one. The freak