WEBVTT

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This week, we are talking to
Things with Blaze, a multipotentialite whose life

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exemplifies the beauty of intersectionality and the
power of transformation. If you've ever found

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yourself laughing at his viral social media
videos that perfectly capture the essence of Caribbean

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culture, you understand how his unique
blend of humor and insight resonates with a

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wide audience. Blaze embodies the essence
of intersectionality and what it means to be

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a multipotentialite. He is a source
of inspiration and joy to his family and

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friends, a musical artist and dancer, a member of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity,

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and a therapist. In this episode, Blaze explains how his life took

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a transformative turn when he left his
Long Island neighborhood for Delaware State University,

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an environment where he thrived and realized
his full potential. There, he completed

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his bachelor's and master's degree and formed
lasting bonds with men from diverse backgrounds who

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would become his fraternity brothers. Much
like his distinguished Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity brothers,

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civil rights leader Martin Luther King Junior
and Norman Many, a Rhodes scholar

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Jamaica statesman and fellow Manchester native.
Blaze's story is a testament to how intersecting

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identities and experiences shape are paths and
potentials. Blaze's story underscores significance of the

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mother son relationship, particularly in childhood, the importance of brotherhood, and how

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a change in environment can be crucial
to personal and professional growth. This episode

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is inspiring, hilarious, and a
remer that we are not our circumstances and

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with hard work and perseverance, we
can achieve anything. Blaize has so many

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videos that just absolutely crack me up. But I would have to say my

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favorite of his is when he's talking
about going to parties or going to a

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dance and them not playing those traditional
like old school soulful reggae songs, you

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know, in the beginning of a
dance to kind of get the vibes going,

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and he sang do experience and stab
take in forestal to experience for some

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one to rocking around and him singing
you know. At one point I literally

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had tears in my eyes from laughing. So do not say that I did

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not warn you. Grab your tea, coffee, or a glass of wine

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and let's talk to things. I
mean respectfully and I want to say I

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feel like I'm saying this unbiasedly.
Like Alpha Phi Alpha Incorporate, it has

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the most notable members of any of
the male behind Yeah Things today, Yo,

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Martin Luther King, I don't have
to say nothing else. After that

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dropped the mic, not more meaning
to say, yo, not talk,

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don't talk. Hello everyone, Welcome
back to another episode of Let's Talk the

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Things, where we discuss the importance
of personal growth, travel, music,

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and wellness while encouraging you to live
fearlessly and fabulously. I am your host,

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ash and this week we are talking
the Things with a man known on

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social media for his hilarious takes on
Caribbean culture and his creative musical talent,

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Plase Hi Blaze. Hell good good, Oh my god, please don't call

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me miss. You're gonna make the
people think I'm older. You know,

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you have to start over, you
have to come again. You can the

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people thinking I'm an old woman.
Oh my god, We're sorry. Sorry,

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all right, Ashley, how you
doing? Thank you for having me.

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I'm well, thank you, thanks
for being here. And you know

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what's so funny. Every time I
see your name, I think of that

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Champau song, Ever Blazing, Ever
Blazing. Yo, yeah, I turned

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into a dance artist for like five
minutes. How did you come up with

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that name? By the way,
actually it was like an old nickname back

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home in the neighborhood from originally from
Long Island, so it was like a

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big get, like crazed back in
the days. And my my dancing name

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was Blaze Kid Blaze, and then
they just stuck. Everybody back home knows

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me as Blaze seen twelve years old. So wait, you just reviewed that.

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This is a bit of information I
did not know. You're also a

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dancer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, big. You know the man said

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big dancing, you know, not
little dancer, but big. Yeah.

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Yeah, I used to. I
used to be the dance group back when

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I was like like eight years old. All my older cousins, my dad

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dancers. Anybody from Long Island to
the county, National County know about my

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but I was I was junior high
look ahead. So well, we're gonna

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have to unpack that later. I'm
getting sidetracked because you're telling me all these

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exciting things. I didn't even know
whoa that's amazing. So when we have

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guests, I like to begin in
each episode with our listeners and mine's favorite

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episode or favorite episode listen to me
favorite segment called that no sound safe?

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And so basically what it is is, I'm going to read social media posts

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that listeners sent in, and if
you think it sounds crazy or a little

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bit concerning, you would respond that
no sound safe and explain why. And

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if you agree, you can say
that sound safe or you can just say

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you agree and then explain why makes
sense. So the first one, this

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one's a little rough, but it's
kind of true. So the person said,

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ladies, please stop editing your photos. What if you go missing?

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How do you expect us to find
you if you look like Beyonce on Instagram

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but look like Ninja man in person? Oh my god. Okay, I

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want to answer this very careful.
That's good, Okay, careful, yes,

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very careful. I think you know, whatever makes whatever makes women feel,

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you know, feel good about themselves, you know, whatever makes anybody

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feel good about themselves, it's a
little edits, you know, giving it,

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give a little edit, but you
shouldn't do it too drastic because you

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know, yeah, you got to
put up missing photos, you know.

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But I'm sure somebody has a photo
without any other edits of you. So

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at the end your Instagram photos are
fine, you want to edit them,

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You're fine because at the end of
the day, your family has polaroid pictures

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of you or something that they can
use that has no ed So you're good.

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Ladies people making sure. I say, you know, but like you

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said, I think this person is
trying to say if you want to edit

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here, and they're cool, but
you should not look so drastically different that

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in the event that God forbid you
go missing, the person that you really

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look like is not the person in
the picture that everybody is, you know,

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being shown right. You know,
sometimes I feel really badly for men

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because as women, we can alter
our appearance with makeup. All you guys

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have is hats. All you can
do. So you got a little bit

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of enhancements at the barber, that's
it. A beard, that is it.

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And I'm just like, man,
you know what if you see a

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woman out somewhere and you're like,
wow, she's beautiful, and then she

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washes her face and it's just like
a whole different person. Oh yeah,

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I'm pretty sure most men have run
into that before. Yeah, it's a

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common occurrence. My mom always told
me makeup is supposed to enhance your beauty,

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it's not supposed to completely change your
appearance. So yeah, just putting

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that out there. Okay. So
the next one is sometimes people ask you

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to open up so they can get
a front row seat to your trauma.

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They don't actually care, they just
want to know what you've been through so

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they can feel better about their life
by seeing the worst parts of yours.

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True. No, that sound right, yep? Okay, Okay. Have

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you ever had a situation like that
where you felt like somebody was asking you

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things or being inquisitive? Yeah?
I think probably in my younger years I

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experienced, you know, people trying
to really just hear what you've been through

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or you know, like a traumatic
experience and kind of just trying to hear

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about it just for entertainment. Yeah, and stuff like that. But you

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know, as I grew, I
kind of got better discernment of people,

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and I just kind of always,
you know, been able to read vibes

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kind of quick. So I just
keep those kind of people away from me

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very early on, so didn't even
get a chance to do that. Nice.

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That's good, that's good learning.
Discernment early is very important. So

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the next one, imagine burning stage
and you pass out because you're the evil

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spirits. Clean your heart too bad
mine? Yeah, that one cracked me

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up. Nothing passing out that assault
safe at all? Okay? And the

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final one for this segment, somebody
said, one of my students today was

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crying and I told him to wipe
his face because he's a big boy.

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He replied, I'm allowed to have
feelings, and honestly, I couldn't even

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say anything because he was right,
that's right, that's right, that's all

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good, you know, I will
say. I think it's more there's more

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of an appetite to allow little boys
and young men and men in general just

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to be able to express their emotions. And I think that that's going to

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do a great deal for like the
next generation. Oh yeah, because I

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think so many men are violent because
in their childhood they weren't allowed to express

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their emotions, you know, so
therefore they didn't really know as they got

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older, like how to deal with
certain things. You know. I hear

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on the news all the time young
women getting killed just because they rejected giving

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someone their phone number. Like that's
crazy to me, right, you know,

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and so like it makes you wonder, like how many little boys didn't

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have a teacher like this guy that's
saying it's okay to cry, right right?

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And I think you know a lot
of the you know, a lot

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of the issues kind of like what
you were saying, Like a lot of

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issues come from repressed emotions, you
know, saying, and a lot of

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men and them not even knowing how
to how to kind of let it out.

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So all they know is like violence
or men are supposed to just be

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tough, rugged, you know what
I mean, So when they feel something,

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all they know is blowing up.
And you know how we have these

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situations where you know, men are
just crashing out, never even you know,

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not even they understand why right,
Yes, Oh my god, that's

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so true because if that's all they
know, or maybe even all they've seen,

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they're trying to figure out what's wrong
with everybody else exactly exact. A

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lot of the people I work with, like a lot of my clients,

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I don't know if you you know, but I'm actually a therapist, so

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like I never knew that. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of my life

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is a lot of my professional life
is low key, but yeah, actually

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my master's and social work. So
yeah, work as associated therapist. God

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line this right up, because you're
the perfect person to talk to about mental

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health. That's amazing. Yeah,
yeah, that's what I experienced. You

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know, a lot of the male
clients, they just never had a comfortable

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environment to you know, really expect
them and their feelings, and you know,

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they're finally stepping in the therapy now
because you know, in our community,

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now therapy is becoming you know,
more of a thing, a lot

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more understanding. So you know,
now they're finally being able to let it

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out and then so it's a beautiful
thing. Okay, well that was a

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perfect segue, and that segment was
hilarious. It always is. But no,

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we're really going to talk to things
right. So, as I said,

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June is Men's Mental Health Month and
it's also Caribbean American Heritage Month,

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so you can celebrate twice. That's
amazing. So our listeners love when I

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have male guests. I think they
really enjoy the conversation just because this podcast

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in general is you know, not
salicious, not about gossip. It's really

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just a safe space for people to
come and like talk about life and you

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know, just how all getting through
life, and it's everyone from everyday people

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to celebrities. But when you listen
to the episodes and you listen to people

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talk like we're all experiencing the same
thing, you know, So I think

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that I shouldn't say. I think
the feedback that I've gotten is it's good

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to have men come on and kind
of speak for themselves. And I love

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that because in my private life,
I always say, you know, I

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don't really subscribe to women speaking on
behalf of men, right, because I've

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could have done a whole episode or
a whole month worth of episodes talking about

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how I think men feel, and
you know what, I've interpreted in my

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own dealings with men in my life. But to me, that's not as

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impactful because again, I'm not a
man, you know. So I think

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this is always good to have these
kind of conversations just to create dialogue,

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because it makes other people have dialogue
with their friends, you know, right.

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You know what, before we actually
really start, since you shocked me

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with Whole Dancer and all these other
things, Therapist that I didn't know about,

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tell me who is Blaze? And
I want you to answer without stating

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your name. What you do or
where you're from. So who are you

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like to your core, I am, I am loved. I feel like

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that's one of the main things that
I trying to radiate all at all times

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with anybody, you know, making
them feel love and you know, like

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leaving whatever interaction with me and they
just feel good, like their heart is

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filled in some type of way,
whether I left them with something or you

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know, something just something that resonated
with them, or they just felt like,

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you know, that energy was just
good. Like I always want to

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radiate love because you know the world
is so crazy nowadays, and you know

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what I'm saying, everybody's going through
something. So if I could just let

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you feel loved in your interaction with
me, and I left my mark,

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you know in the world, I'm
doing God's work in some type of way.

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I am a family that is one
of the most I have a huge

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family like as many Jamaicans do,
but but very big on a family.

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I try to make it a point
to make it to anything I can make

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it to support in any type of
way I can, and you know,

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just kind of show love and work
to my family, let them know that

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up here, and you know,
I could see that it resonates with them

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like yo, you know, of
course it comes with you know, it

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comes to some weight sometimes like wait
where are you at? You not?

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He not coming? Like you know
what I mean, It comes to something

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that sometimes or like when you're dad, we just stop partly start already.

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I'm like, you know, I'm
on my way, like it's one hundred

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people there. Why am I so
important? But you know it, it

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feels good to know that, you
know, I'm a staple to to my

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to my tribe, you know what
I mean? Right? Right? So

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yeah, that I am. I
am. I don't want to say I

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am. I want to say I'm
trying to be I'm trying to be an

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ally right and an ally to people
who need or don't have as much of

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a voice. Right. And as
a black man, you know, we

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don't have as much of a voice, but black women even less of a

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voice than us. And you know, I try to do a lot of

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work to be an ally you know, seeing a black woman, try to

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protect black women as much as I
can, try to speaking for a black

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women as much as I can,
you know, And I feel like a

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lot of that, yeah, a
lot of that was in part because my

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mom, you know what I mean, My mom, that's my best friend.

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She really, you know, poured
into me the importance of disrespecting women

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and protecting women, you know what
I'm saying. So I try to I

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try to do a lot of work
to do that. You know, those

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people that do know me, they
they can attest to the fact that I'm

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not capping. But yeah, I
think, and I'm sorry for those of

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you that are of a different generation
or don't quite understand the slang capping.

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Capping means he is not lying,
like but yeah, and then uh,

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I think what else? What I
want to end with? I am determination

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no matter what. If I have
a goal, I'm going to I'm want

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to reach it, you know what
I mean. I've I've had numerous moments

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in my life where like things gotten
dark and I don't know how I'm about

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to continue, you know, my
mental health all messed up, or finances

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might be messed up, or you
know what I mean. I'm just kind

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of all over the place. But
I've always made away. And it's not

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just me, it's God, you
know what I mean. So I just

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let God worked with me a lot
of times, and you know it always

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works out for the best. So
yeah, I love that. I'm really

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glad you brought up your mom because
I always like to bring it back to

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women in some way, particularly you
know, a mom or a grandmother or

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aunt or anything like that, because
I truly do believe that affects how boys

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become certain type of men, you
know, And you said on your own

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something so key that your mom poured
into you, and she more than likely

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showed you through through actions, you
know, the importance of respecting women and

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taking up for them and things of
that nature. And so that is probably

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that probably has a lot to do
with why you are the way you are

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and why you know you are so
sought after, you know, in your

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family, because you do make people
feel that way and such a gift because

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some people, you know, you
leave them and you feel drained. So

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yeah, you never know what sense
of joy you're bringing to anyone, even

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in your family, because sometimes I
think you can take that for granted,

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right, like you can think,
oh, you know, it's just my

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family, Like that's just my cousin
or my brother or my aunt or whoever.

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But you never know what they're dealing
with and how just being around you

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can kind of like help them cope
with whatever they're dealing with, right,

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you know, absolutely, and I
take pride in that. Do you brought

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up you know, mental health?
Obviously that's perfect because that's what we're talking

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about. But I also want to
how do I say, like intertwine it

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with growing up as a Jamaican person
in America, right, a Jamaican man

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at that I should say, do
you feel like there are certain expectations of

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you as a Jamaican man so on
top of like being a man, a

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black man, and then your culture, do you think there's certain expectations as

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far as like how you express emotion, like how you deal with certain things,

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or do you feel that even though
there are those cultural expectations, your

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mom or your parents or your family
set up an environment where you could still

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feel safe to express those emotions.
Oh yeah, definitely. I think you

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know culturally of course, right,
you know, you know, toughing up

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yourself, you know, you know, all all of those things that it's

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just like manly man stuff, and
you know a lot of it really boils

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down to, you know, unfortunately
toxic masculinity sometimes. Absolutely, but you

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know, my mom and you know
even my dad, like, you know,

264
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but like really, really really my
mom is you know, of course

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they like the nurture and all of
that stuff. My dad Country Country,

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Manchester. But at the end of
the day, he had a lot of

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unlearning to do too. But you
know, great, great God nonetheless loving

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his death. But my mom really, you know, really made it a

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point to you know, let me
know that I could tell her anything,

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you know, I could, I
could open up and I could feel whatever.

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I could cry, you know what
I'm saying. Something hurt, I

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could say it hurt. That's great, you know what I mean. And

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you know, as much as yeah, I still was getting entrenched in,

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you know, maybe toxic masculinity through
you know, just environment and growing up

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and you know, just being outside
on my own, I still held onto

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a lot of those you know a
lot of those teachings from my mom and

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you know a lot of those things
that she kind of parted on me.

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So when it was time for me
to unlearn a lot of things, it

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was a lot easier because I kind
of had a head start. That makes

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perfect sense, big old mommy one. Yeah, So speaking of masculinity,

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right, have you ever encountered examples
of positive masculinity that kind of challenge the

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traditional stereotype like of what it is
to be quote unquote a man. I

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think, uh, I think the
first thing that comes to mind. I'm

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sure, I'm sure it's a bunch, but I think the first thing that

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comes to mind is men is showing
each other love, like male friends showing

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each other love and even even sneaking
it, right, Like I got I

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got a friend group, like we
actually verbally say, which I feel like

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this is a new thing nowadays,
right, it's not. It's not something

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I was going on back in the
day. But like we we really say

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like, oh I love you,
bro, or like love you, you

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know what I mean? And like
that wasn't a thing, especially not even

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for Jamaican men, you know what
I mean? Too much? You know,

293
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Yeah, I might I say oh
I love you to their to their

294
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friends. But yeah, that's so
true. Yeah, a bunch of why

295
00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:48.720
exactly exactly, But it's a real
thing because you never know when you know,

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you never know what can happen,
you know what I mean? And

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if you genuinely do feel that for
your friends, you know, either my

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group of my best friends, you
know what I'm saying. I genuinely love

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these guys, so I want them
to know because I never know, you

300
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know, what can happen tomorrow or
if there's going to be a tomorrow.

301
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So yeah, absolutely, no,
that's that's such an important point, and

302
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you know, it makes me wonder
I should I guess I should say I

303
00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:15.000
should ask you why do you think
there's that like reluctance among men to express

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emotions or vulnerability. I mean,
of course, I guess. You know,

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societally, men are just supposed to
be tough and hold it, you

306
00:24:26.640 --> 00:24:29.759
know what I mean. And you
know, boy, the whole even the

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00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:34.559
whole concept that everybody boys don't cry
and all of that stuff, like we've

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all heard these things and these things
have been you know, kind of seared

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into our brains from young you know
what I mean. So I think we

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00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:45.839
just hold on to a lot of
those concepts, a lot of those schemas,

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and we get older and we never
let go of it, and yeah,

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00:24:52.519 --> 00:24:55.599
that's kind of how it boils down. Yeah, no, that's so

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true. And you know, I
think it says a lot that you have

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a group of friends that are okay
with that, because I think every now

315
00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:07.200
and then you'll find like one and
two men that you know say what you

316
00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:11.079
just said. But it's usually like
one guy in the group is like that

317
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and you're like, oh, you
know, he's like the emotional one or

318
00:25:14.599 --> 00:25:18.160
whatever he'll get labeled as. But
the fact that you have a group of

319
00:25:18.200 --> 00:25:22.400
friends like that, I mean,
they must have been raised similarly to you

320
00:25:22.680 --> 00:25:26.119
because they're comfortable with that. No, right, right, exactly. Yeah,

321
00:25:26.200 --> 00:25:29.640
all all good guys. All you
know, all dudes, you know,

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00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:33.279
different upbringings, but all of us
have you know, the utmost I

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00:25:33.279 --> 00:25:36.960
can I can attach to this because
these the type of dudes that I have

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00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:40.799
around all have the highest respect for
women, and you know what I mean,

325
00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:44.160
are just okay with being vulnerable and
you know, showing their emotions when

326
00:25:44.400 --> 00:25:47.599
when need be. Not saying we
all walk around crying every day. But

327
00:25:47.720 --> 00:25:51.559
you know what I mean, if
you have a moment and somethings going on,

328
00:25:51.640 --> 00:25:55.119
you know what I'm saying. Because
among the group, some some you

329
00:25:55.160 --> 00:25:56.839
know, deep things have gone on, Like you know I'm saying, family

330
00:25:56.839 --> 00:26:00.599
wise, losses and all that stuff. We've been there for each other and

331
00:26:00.640 --> 00:26:04.079
really have been that shoulder, saying
that shoulder a lean for one another.

332
00:26:04.160 --> 00:26:10.279
So yeah, yeah, good guys, man, And you know not just

333
00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:14.559
because I know when people think of
emotions, they think of like the Michael

334
00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:18.720
Jordan crying face, right, But
emotions could be anger. Emotions could be

335
00:26:18.920 --> 00:26:22.519
just like despair, you know,
not necessarily crying. But you're just like

336
00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:27.440
in a funk. Maybe you're depressed, you know, or maybe And I

337
00:26:27.480 --> 00:26:33.160
think this is a great example,
like you're having issues with your girlfriend or

338
00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:37.880
your wife or whatever the case may
be. I always wonder if men are

339
00:26:37.960 --> 00:26:41.559
holding their friends accountable for their behavior. And I'll give you an example.

340
00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:47.880
So let's say you go out and
you stay out very late and it brings

341
00:26:47.960 --> 00:26:49.920
up an argument with you and your
partner. Right, are you going to

342
00:26:49.960 --> 00:26:53.440
your friends group and telling them that
and they're saying like, yeah, man,

343
00:26:53.519 --> 00:26:56.960
like you shouldn't do that because you
know that she doesn't like that,

344
00:26:56.119 --> 00:26:59.839
and da da da, she's a
nice woman. Or are they more of

345
00:26:59.839 --> 00:27:02.480
the friends that are like, man, it's no big deal, Like you're

346
00:27:02.559 --> 00:27:04.880
young, you should be outside.
Yeah. See that's the thing, right.

347
00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:11.160
I thank God every day for my
friend group, right, one best

348
00:27:11.160 --> 00:27:12.839
friend back home, you know what
I'm saying, Stanley, And then I

349
00:27:12.880 --> 00:27:17.680
got my friend group that came from
college and all of them similar. That's

350
00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:22.519
why I kind of like made all
of them kind of blended together. But

351
00:27:22.839 --> 00:27:26.559
yeah, like the fact that we
hold each other accountable, that's so important.

352
00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:30.759
Like I've had moments where you know, like you know, my wan

353
00:27:30.839 --> 00:27:33.000
get dark, you know, saying
all this girl, you know did this,

354
00:27:33.119 --> 00:27:36.680
and all right, I'm about to
go out here and talk to this

355
00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:38.079
girl, that girl, and they're
like, yo, you know you love

356
00:27:38.119 --> 00:27:41.599
her, Like why are you even
gonna why are you gonna do that?

357
00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:42.720
For what? What are you gonna
get out of that? You know what

358
00:27:42.720 --> 00:27:45.079
I mean? I love it.
I mean it might it might piss me

359
00:27:45.079 --> 00:27:49.759
off in a moment, but right
in the moment, But but for real,

360
00:27:49.839 --> 00:27:56.000
like I appreciate that because it's really
it's really like a space to really

361
00:27:56.039 --> 00:27:57.920
be like transparent and real one another, like we do it all over,

362
00:27:59.359 --> 00:28:04.039
we do it FaceTime in person,
really do check ins and with each other.

363
00:28:04.119 --> 00:28:12.880
Yeah, definitely real. So switching
gears a little bit. I find

364
00:28:14.279 --> 00:28:18.200
your videos so hilarious. When I
tell you hilarious, I mean like tears

365
00:28:18.200 --> 00:28:22.119
in my eyes because I'm thinking,
like, how does he know? It's

366
00:28:22.119 --> 00:28:25.920
the same thing I say when I
watch Dale Elliott's video videos. I'm like,

367
00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:29.720
how do these people know my life? Like, how do they know

368
00:28:29.839 --> 00:28:33.480
what we all deal with? Right? It just tells me all of our

369
00:28:33.480 --> 00:28:37.599
parents get like this one handbook,
right, and they all do the same

370
00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:42.079
thing. I feel like Jamaica and
children out there, Caribbean children in general.

371
00:28:42.119 --> 00:28:45.519
But obviously we're Jamaica and so that's
what we know. Are entitled to

372
00:28:45.599 --> 00:28:51.279
compensation. Okay for this particular thing. Yes, you had a video where

373
00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:59.400
you talked about your mom's name and
it being completely different. Yep. And

374
00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:03.799
although that hasn't happened with my parents, it happened with one of my aunts.

375
00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:07.640
I have an aunt. I've known
her as one name my entire life,

376
00:29:07.640 --> 00:29:12.119
and I was literally in my mid
twenties when I said, wait,

377
00:29:12.279 --> 00:29:18.759
why is everyone calling her that name? When she like, what telling me?

378
00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:22.000
I'm telling you? So, can
you explain just in general, like

379
00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:26.799
how you come up with these videos
because they're so funny, you know,

380
00:29:26.119 --> 00:29:30.960
just the nuances of being Jamaican,
and just explain that to the people that

381
00:29:32.119 --> 00:29:34.559
may not have seen your content,
so they're not really familiar with what I'm

382
00:29:34.599 --> 00:29:37.319
talking about, right, I mean, yeah, a lot of my videos

383
00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:41.680
just coming from the experiences you know, of course I have, like you

384
00:29:41.720 --> 00:29:45.119
know, a way of making it
comedic and you know, like the comedic

385
00:29:45.119 --> 00:29:51.359
comedic timing, little you know,
punchlines here and there. Really just really

386
00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:53.720
just blows down to my experiences that
I've had, you know what I mean,

387
00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:57.960
whether it's growing up or just being
you know, Jamaican, and of

388
00:29:59.000 --> 00:30:02.599
course Jamaican's are the these people on
the earth anyway, So you know,

389
00:30:03.039 --> 00:30:06.720
imagine just talking about our life and
our upbringing and all that stuff. There's

390
00:30:06.759 --> 00:30:11.880
so many jokes to make about it
at the end of the day. I

391
00:30:11.920 --> 00:30:15.359
love to, you know, at
least make sure that it's still positive at

392
00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:17.480
the end of the day. If
you like, anybody that goes on my

393
00:30:17.519 --> 00:30:18.839
page, if you you know now
that I'm saying, if you take a

394
00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:23.039
look all my videos, you know, have some type of positivity to it,

395
00:30:23.799 --> 00:30:27.200
especially if I'm talking about somebody else's
culture, like I've done videos about

396
00:30:27.799 --> 00:30:33.599
you know, African culture and Haitian
Haitian culture, and you know, Soka

397
00:30:33.680 --> 00:30:37.359
culture, you know, Trinidad grenade
and all that stuff. And as much

398
00:30:37.359 --> 00:30:40.799
as you know, I could throw
my little jokes and punchlines in there,

399
00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:44.880
I always try to make sure it
has like an underlying tone of unity in

400
00:30:44.920 --> 00:30:48.240
there. So yeah, you know, jokes but jokes, but love.

401
00:30:48.440 --> 00:30:51.759
You know what I'm saying. Love
love jokes. That's what I like to

402
00:30:51.799 --> 00:30:55.920
call it. So yeah, So
what happened with your mom? That really

403
00:30:55.960 --> 00:30:57.920
happened? That was like a true
story, Yes, a true story like

404
00:30:59.000 --> 00:31:03.079
I you please tell it like in
summary please, yes, yes, yes.

405
00:31:03.359 --> 00:31:08.519
So my mom's name is to this
day, my mom's name is jid

406
00:31:08.640 --> 00:31:12.640
It. Okay, nobody don't know
her. As a matter of fact,

407
00:31:12.680 --> 00:31:17.440
some of the family found out that
she had an actual government name outside of

408
00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:21.160
it from the TikTok. People were
saying, my mom the TikTok like we

409
00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:26.880
had like yeah, I real,
I really think this. So yeah,

410
00:31:27.039 --> 00:31:32.200
like my mom name is Jidit like
it's from from from young her name is

411
00:31:32.279 --> 00:31:36.960
j and people just remember being young, you know, I get it to

412
00:31:36.960 --> 00:31:38.039
age where I can enter the house
phone, you know what I mean and

413
00:31:38.160 --> 00:31:41.880
kind of tell whoever that you know, whoever's not here. I remember answering

414
00:31:41.880 --> 00:31:45.920
the house phone and I'm keeping a
let's see you, like listen, let's

415
00:31:45.920 --> 00:31:51.000
see you, let's see you.
Who's who's Lisa, Let's see I'm like,

416
00:31:51.039 --> 00:31:52.519
who is this? I then it. He didn't come and say,

417
00:31:52.599 --> 00:31:56.759
yo, all I heard that my
dad was, you know, a gallus

418
00:31:56.799 --> 00:32:00.759
back in the day. It's how
she can tell knew this, like what

419
00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:06.920
is going on? So free let
me say, yo. I have to

420
00:32:06.960 --> 00:32:08.359
my mom, like I'm about to
break my family apart. I have to

421
00:32:08.400 --> 00:32:13.279
tell my mom that there's a Lisa
out here, Lisa Rose, that my

422
00:32:13.359 --> 00:32:19.920
dad has two wives. I mean, but you know, as a little

423
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:22.039
kid, like you can't really I
can't really understand what's going on. I'm

424
00:32:22.079 --> 00:32:25.759
just, however, I feel that's
what happened and how I felt once my

425
00:32:25.839 --> 00:32:29.000
dad had two wives, and I'm
about to break my family apart. Have

426
00:32:29.039 --> 00:32:32.880
to break the news to my mom. So so I went to my mom

427
00:32:32.920 --> 00:32:37.359
and I'm like, well, I
gotta tell you something. I'm literally on

428
00:32:37.359 --> 00:32:38.720
the verge of crying because I'm like, I can't believe this has to be

429
00:32:38.799 --> 00:32:45.039
me as a pickny. Somebody has
to do it because they keep calling,

430
00:32:45.200 --> 00:32:46.839
and I don't want you to find
out any other way. Yeah, to

431
00:32:46.920 --> 00:32:53.279
go around like mummy, like there
is there is no collect the calling the

432
00:32:53.359 --> 00:33:01.960
house. They keep asking for Lisa. She's like, we had what a

433
00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:07.319
myxphone? Like Alisa Rose mommy a
Lisa Rose and she's like I call you

434
00:33:07.440 --> 00:33:12.440
no, no, oh god,
oh, She's like, no, I

435
00:33:12.440 --> 00:33:15.759
saw mena, that's my name.
My name is Lucilla, you know,

436
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:21.880
I know. I'm like, no, I never know who is see you?

437
00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:25.920
She's like, you never heard nobody
calls no mommy? Your name is

438
00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:30.680
Juded. Who's listea? Like what
to me? I got two moms?

439
00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:37.440
But yeah, man, true story
that my grandma name not Pazzi, her

440
00:33:37.559 --> 00:33:44.559
name Eli, and all types of
family member's name and not cousins not Angie.

441
00:33:44.559 --> 00:33:46.759
I didn't me and Dane, I'm
like, what is happening? Are

442
00:33:46.839 --> 00:33:52.799
any of you real? Like?
Who am I? But you know first

443
00:33:52.839 --> 00:33:54.920
of all that I don't. I'm
literally in tears, like I've never heard

444
00:33:54.960 --> 00:34:00.640
the story before because it's so hilarious
to me, because I feel like everybody

445
00:34:00.680 --> 00:34:05.079
has a story, like we are
entitled to paint And sorry, I'm I

446
00:34:05.200 --> 00:34:08.280
found out some of my family member's
name at funerals, Like who is am

447
00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:14.239
I at the right funeral? Like
what what is doing on? Like at

448
00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:19.599
what town hall meeting? Did y'all
make this a thing? Every Jamaican has

449
00:34:19.639 --> 00:34:27.679
to have another name? Why is
it so common? Oh? My gosh,

450
00:34:27.840 --> 00:34:30.119
no, man, m M,
I should not be in terrorist This

451
00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:37.679
is hilarious. Things too confusing,
like what how am I supposed to how

452
00:34:37.679 --> 00:34:39.480
are you supposed to be identified?
Like what? Oh my god? And

453
00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:46.079
it's the fact that they think it's
so normal. They don't understand why we're

454
00:34:46.119 --> 00:34:50.480
so confused. We're looking at us
like, yeah, she has a different

455
00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:52.960
name, like so you know,
like, what's the big deal that's that's

456
00:34:53.039 --> 00:34:57.159
different. I don't think other cultures
do this thing much, is us,

457
00:34:57.199 --> 00:35:00.800
And like you said, it would
be a completely different name, not even

458
00:35:00.840 --> 00:35:04.400
like a shortened version of the same
name, not even like a nickname where

459
00:35:04.440 --> 00:35:07.400
it's like my name is this,
but okay, my nick you know my

460
00:35:07.480 --> 00:35:09.119
nickname is Blazed. No no,
no, no, no, my name

461
00:35:09.159 --> 00:35:14.440
is Rayquon. You're gonna call me
Robert? Where did you get roberts old

462
00:35:14.440 --> 00:35:21.840
Tariaquan, which how there's no correlation
whatsoever? My mom name is her government

463
00:35:21.880 --> 00:35:27.519
is listening, Where did you get
from this? It's insane, It's insane,

464
00:35:27.519 --> 00:35:30.440
and it won't even be I remember
asking my dad like, well,

465
00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:37.239
is it her middle name or He's
like no, what we decided that this

466
00:35:37.400 --> 00:35:40.920
was gonna be her name. I
just don't understand all Jamaicans listening on a

467
00:35:42.000 --> 00:35:47.800
tool confusing stop it? No,
please, yes, we need to make

468
00:35:47.920 --> 00:35:52.559
like a p s A or a
billboard or something like. Please stop it

469
00:35:52.599 --> 00:35:59.079
with this generation. Let's end this
now, you please please? Oh my

470
00:35:59.199 --> 00:36:02.119
gosh, well okay, who I
mean? I knew I was gonna laugh,

471
00:36:02.199 --> 00:36:07.159
but my goodness, it's even funnier
hear you tell it? Okay.

472
00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:13.360
So obviously your content creation brings joy
to many persons. I am one of

473
00:36:13.400 --> 00:36:19.679
them. But do you use the
content creation as a form of even helping

474
00:36:19.679 --> 00:36:22.199
with your mental health or do you
solely do it just for you know,

475
00:36:22.280 --> 00:36:25.199
the joy of others, like just
to share and as you said earlier,

476
00:36:25.239 --> 00:36:29.880
to bring joy to others. So
for me, it's kind of merged,

477
00:36:29.960 --> 00:36:34.840
right me bringing joy to others makes
me feel good, right, me making

478
00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:37.840
other people smile or make other people
laugh, It makes me feel good,

479
00:36:37.880 --> 00:36:42.519
and you know, it brings me
like I don't know, like euphoria,

480
00:36:42.920 --> 00:36:46.599
right, brings me happiness. So
when I post my content, you know,

481
00:36:46.639 --> 00:36:51.880
when I see so many like laughing
emojis and everything and all the comments

482
00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:54.119
and stuff, and I'm like,
you know, it just it gives me

483
00:36:54.159 --> 00:36:58.559
like a warm feeling. So yeah, it definitely helps my mental health as

484
00:36:58.599 --> 00:37:04.119
well. Nice. Nice, And
you are also a musician, yes,

485
00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:10.159
And I know that many persons that
are artists, they talk about music being

486
00:37:12.920 --> 00:37:15.599
like an outlet for them, you
know, whether it's to express their emotions

487
00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:19.760
or what you just said, you
know, to bring joy to other people,

488
00:37:19.880 --> 00:37:22.320
or to tell a story in hopes
of helping other people. When did

489
00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:28.360
you first discover your love for music. I was very young. I was

490
00:37:28.400 --> 00:37:36.039
probably around five six. I was
rapping, like writing raps from then,

491
00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:40.039
standing how to play instruments, learn
how to play the drums. I played

492
00:37:40.039 --> 00:37:45.239
a drum set in church. Yeah, I learned how to play the trumpet,

493
00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:52.480
xylophone. Yeah, you know,
just reading music overall. Oh wow,

494
00:37:52.679 --> 00:37:54.199
so you kind of read music as
well. Yeah yeah, yeah,

495
00:37:54.239 --> 00:38:00.559
definitely nice. Nice And did you
use it as like as an outlet or

496
00:38:00.719 --> 00:38:02.679
was it just more like, oh, you know, I'm good at this

497
00:38:02.960 --> 00:38:07.360
and so you kind of just stuck
with it. It was both, you

498
00:38:07.400 --> 00:38:12.280
know, I was pretty good at
it from you know, from even them

499
00:38:12.320 --> 00:38:14.920
days, so you know, I
definitely stuck with it. But it was

500
00:38:14.920 --> 00:38:16.400
definitely an outlet for me too.
Even in my lyrics, I would talk

501
00:38:16.400 --> 00:38:21.920
about you know, stuff that was
like bothering me or something that you know

502
00:38:22.199 --> 00:38:25.280
I witnessed or or saw or you
know, anything like that, and you

503
00:38:25.320 --> 00:38:30.159
know, I always put it in
my music. But it was just also

504
00:38:30.239 --> 00:38:36.440
outlet for me too. It was
almost just like, uh, just a

505
00:38:36.599 --> 00:38:39.199
general outlet, like it was my
getaway, right, it was me.

506
00:38:39.719 --> 00:38:45.239
Yeah, it was just me feeling
like like I'm doing what makes me the

507
00:38:45.320 --> 00:38:49.480
happiest in the world. Nothing,
you know, nothing that I can do

508
00:38:49.639 --> 00:38:52.360
makes me happier than doing music.
So that's been the same, and that's

509
00:38:52.360 --> 00:38:58.920
been the thing since I was a
kid. So oh wow, very nice,

510
00:38:59.079 --> 00:39:04.039
very nice. And what would you
say inspires most of your music?

511
00:39:04.360 --> 00:39:07.559
No? And does that differ from
what inspired you to write music or play

512
00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:15.440
music? Maybe like ten years ago? I think what maybe when I was

513
00:39:15.440 --> 00:39:20.360
when I was a kid, I
didn't live as much life, so a

514
00:39:20.400 --> 00:39:23.320
lot of my raps were just you
know, just you know, stuff that

515
00:39:24.119 --> 00:39:30.199
I guess sounded cool or whatever.
But as I got older, experienced a

516
00:39:30.280 --> 00:39:37.039
lot more you know, things that
I can put into music. You know,

517
00:39:37.199 --> 00:39:40.519
I guess that is kind of my
inspiration now more so like life experiences

518
00:39:40.599 --> 00:39:45.280
and you know, my feelings about
things. Sometimes even things that are going

519
00:39:45.320 --> 00:39:49.920
on in the world. I've done
that as well. That's to do a

520
00:39:49.920 --> 00:39:52.199
lot of poetry too. I used
to do spoken word, and I actually

521
00:39:52.239 --> 00:39:57.719
went a couple of days a couple
of spoken word competitions that my teenage yeers

522
00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:01.800
nice you know, say I've a
voice for spoken word. I'm not surprised

523
00:40:04.480 --> 00:40:09.119
on your two times. So it's
a lot more lifely inspired now and love

524
00:40:09.239 --> 00:40:15.440
inspire now. Yeah, no,
that makes perfect sense because obviously the older

525
00:40:15.480 --> 00:40:19.039
you get, the more life experiences
you have, so you know you'll be

526
00:40:19.079 --> 00:40:22.320
able to talk about more. There's
been some discussion and it's funny, it's

527
00:40:22.320 --> 00:40:30.119
like a full circle moment because I've
had this discussion with a friend of mine

528
00:40:30.239 --> 00:40:34.519
on this podcast, Donald and I
believe also Matthew, who I told you.

529
00:40:34.559 --> 00:40:37.400
We did the episode Growing Up Jamaica, and we talked about the effect

530
00:40:37.559 --> 00:40:44.519
of music on violence in Jamaica and
throughout the diaspora. So while I was

531
00:40:44.559 --> 00:40:50.840
at Harvard, I did a project
about violence against women and girls throughout the

532
00:40:50.960 --> 00:40:54.719
Jamaica and diaspora. Right at the
time, there just seemed to be it

533
00:40:54.800 --> 00:40:59.480
just seemed to be like every time
I went online, I was seeing another

534
00:40:59.519 --> 00:41:02.079
young girl killed or another woman,
you know, beaten to death by our

535
00:41:02.119 --> 00:41:07.440
boyfriend or something. And I started
to see a lot of talk about how

536
00:41:07.719 --> 00:41:10.360
certain persons were saying, you know, they blame dancehall or they blame the

537
00:41:10.440 --> 00:41:16.239
music, and they and we kind
of had a discussion of basically, I

538
00:41:16.599 --> 00:41:21.280
felt like, it can't be just
the music, right because I listened to

539
00:41:21.280 --> 00:41:23.000
the music too, and I don't
want to do anything. You don't want

540
00:41:23.039 --> 00:41:28.400
to you know, commit crimes or
anything like that. So I would love

541
00:41:28.440 --> 00:41:32.800
to know your thoughts on how you
feel that music affects, you know,

542
00:41:34.039 --> 00:41:38.400
violence anywhere, but particularly since we're
talking about our community, violence against women

543
00:41:38.599 --> 00:41:46.360
and girls within our culture or within
our community. I think, you know,

544
00:41:46.480 --> 00:41:52.119
maybe for people like us that are
strong willed or you know, just

545
00:41:52.199 --> 00:41:59.199
kind of have our own perspectives or
personalities, were not as impressionable. We

546
00:41:59.239 --> 00:42:04.000
could listen to you know, music
and just be a tune that we're playing,

547
00:42:04.039 --> 00:42:06.039
and that's fine, you know what
I'm saying. It doesn't do anything

548
00:42:06.079 --> 00:42:10.239
to our mental makers want to do
anything. But there are some people out

549
00:42:10.280 --> 00:42:15.800
there, right, especially some young
people, that they are very impressionable when

550
00:42:15.800 --> 00:42:20.599
it comes to pop culture. Right. They're looking at whoever they think is

551
00:42:20.639 --> 00:42:23.960
the coolest, and that's who they
literally want to be to the team,

552
00:42:24.400 --> 00:42:28.679
you know what I mean. One
of my favorite artists of all time is

553
00:42:28.840 --> 00:42:32.400
Vibes Cartel, right, and I
don't want to be Vibes Cartel, you

554
00:42:32.440 --> 00:42:37.480
know what I mean. Like I
can sing his songs verbatim for anybody,

555
00:42:37.519 --> 00:42:40.480
but I don't want to be him. I live like him. But some

556
00:42:40.679 --> 00:42:44.800
you know, some young people out
there, you know, they're listening to

557
00:42:45.039 --> 00:42:47.079
these artists and they literally want to
be them. They're so impressionable. That's

558
00:42:47.079 --> 00:42:51.199
the coolest thing in the world,
is to emulate everything that they're doing and

559
00:42:51.280 --> 00:42:54.000
saying, or you know, or
worse so, I think you know,

560
00:42:54.320 --> 00:42:58.719
there are there are a lot of
people out there that are making their moves

561
00:42:58.760 --> 00:43:01.440
based off of what they're hearing music
because you know, they just want to

562
00:43:01.480 --> 00:43:07.760
be or they want to literally embody
what these artists are talking about their music.

563
00:43:07.840 --> 00:43:10.760
Unfortunately, right a lot of these
artists are not even doing what they're

564
00:43:10.760 --> 00:43:15.760
saying, you know what I mean. Like it's that part that really bothers

565
00:43:15.800 --> 00:43:20.679
me. And but it's like you
said, because they're so impressionable, they

566
00:43:20.679 --> 00:43:24.760
don't even know that exactly exactly they
want to make it reality as they want

567
00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:30.079
to make it as real as possible. So like I you know some I

568
00:43:30.079 --> 00:43:32.679
guess using the artists that's not from
Jamaica, But like Future, you know

569
00:43:32.719 --> 00:43:35.840
what I mean. Future says he
don't do none of the drugs that he

570
00:43:35.880 --> 00:43:39.760
talks about in his music, But
there's somebody out there that is listening in

571
00:43:39.760 --> 00:43:45.320
the future but wants to make that
as real as that character. He wants

572
00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:50.280
to make that as real as possible, or wants to embody that character as

573
00:43:50.360 --> 00:43:52.480
much as possible, and they're going
to actually take it as far as actually

574
00:43:52.599 --> 00:43:57.960
living that. And here you are
now drug addicts, you know what I

575
00:43:58.000 --> 00:44:01.519
mean. So yeah, I think, yeah, no, that is Oh

576
00:44:01.559 --> 00:44:05.840
that's so true. Well what do
you think, I guess would be my

577
00:44:05.960 --> 00:44:12.559
next question. How do you think
actually we as a community can help to

578
00:44:14.239 --> 00:44:16.840
mitigate the violence against women and girls
because we can't stop it. I mean,

579
00:44:17.159 --> 00:44:22.119
there's a lot of factors that go
into why this type of violence happens.

580
00:44:22.519 --> 00:44:24.599
But I also think it has to
do with what we spoke about in

581
00:44:24.639 --> 00:44:30.280
the beginning of the podcast, which
was relationships between mother and son. Right,

582
00:44:31.159 --> 00:44:36.000
you have a lot of young boys
that their mothers were very mean to

583
00:44:36.039 --> 00:44:38.320
them, or didn't treat them very
nicely, or maybe treated them the way

584
00:44:38.360 --> 00:44:43.480
they felt about their fathers, or
just things like that that make them that

585
00:44:43.920 --> 00:44:46.800
create a disdain for women in these
little boys that then become men, and

586
00:44:46.840 --> 00:44:50.480
then you know, feel like,
Okay, I'm a man now, so

587
00:44:50.559 --> 00:44:52.400
now i can talk to women any
kind of way. And I'm not gonna

588
00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:55.400
take this because my mom used to
tell me I was this and I was

589
00:44:55.400 --> 00:44:58.760
that, and call me names and
all kinds of things. You know,

590
00:44:59.400 --> 00:45:05.320
So I'm just curious from a man's
perspective, and because you said you actually

591
00:45:05.360 --> 00:45:07.559
had the total opposite experience. You
had a mother that poured into you.

592
00:45:08.039 --> 00:45:15.480
Have you witnessed anyone have certain behaviors
and recognize Oh, while you know,

593
00:45:15.719 --> 00:45:17.360
it probably has a lot to do
with like how they were spoken to her,

594
00:45:17.400 --> 00:45:22.039
You can kind of tell they came
from a tumultuous environment. Oh yeah,

595
00:45:22.079 --> 00:45:30.320
absolutely. I think I think a
lot of it was down to maybe

596
00:45:30.360 --> 00:45:34.480
your relationship with your mother, maybe
the environment that you grew up in where

597
00:45:35.559 --> 00:45:38.320
in your community or in your neighborhood, Like you know, you saw people

598
00:45:39.079 --> 00:45:43.760
treat women like they were lesserman,
you know what I mean, And then

599
00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:47.519
you just kind of adopted that perspective
that Okay, women are lesson then I'm

600
00:45:47.519 --> 00:45:52.000
gonna talk to them like this.
They're you know, uh, they're for

601
00:45:52.679 --> 00:45:54.880
you know, good for nothing,
but like you know, sexual interactions and

602
00:45:54.880 --> 00:45:58.119
stuff like that, and after that, you know, get out, get

603
00:45:58.119 --> 00:46:00.480
out of my face. And you
know a lot of people are coming from

604
00:46:00.519 --> 00:46:04.599
these type of backgrounds or you know, witnessing maybe like you know, it

605
00:46:04.679 --> 00:46:07.159
could be like domestic violence in the
household and stuff like that, and they're

606
00:46:07.239 --> 00:46:12.599
just using this as modeling and leaving
the house and you know, going into

607
00:46:12.639 --> 00:46:17.159
the world with these same perspectives about
women and then you know, the cycle

608
00:46:17.199 --> 00:46:22.039
continues. So yeah, I think
I think I think that's what it kind

609
00:46:22.039 --> 00:46:27.840
of that's that's kind of what's been
happening without without seen at least as a

610
00:46:27.840 --> 00:46:31.760
community. What do you think that
we can do to Just like I said,

611
00:46:31.760 --> 00:46:37.159
we can't decrease it because we're only
two people in our case as we're

612
00:46:37.199 --> 00:46:43.360
talking here, right, But what
can we do to mitigate the violence against

613
00:46:43.400 --> 00:46:45.920
women and girls? So for example, not telling you what to say,

614
00:46:45.960 --> 00:46:47.239
but just kind of giving you an
idea of what I mean. So for

615
00:46:47.320 --> 00:46:53.400
example, maybe you have it being
a therapist and maybe some of your clients

616
00:46:53.400 --> 00:46:59.760
being Caribbean men, you know,
you're helping to minimize those chances of this

617
00:46:59.800 --> 00:47:04.679
person being a violent man towards a
woman because you're there talking things through with

618
00:47:04.760 --> 00:47:07.599
them and helping them express their emotions
something like that, right, right,

619
00:47:09.000 --> 00:47:15.800
So, of course, one kind
of highlighting mental health for for men to

620
00:47:15.960 --> 00:47:22.000
kind of have emotional regulation, you
know, something that I think is a

621
00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:27.519
lot newer or you know, for
the mental health community from black men working

622
00:47:27.559 --> 00:47:32.239
through that, because you know,
it's a recipe for disaster if you're you

623
00:47:32.280 --> 00:47:37.039
know, you see women as lesser
than and then you have trouble with emotional

624
00:47:37.079 --> 00:47:38.920
regulation. You know what I mean, those two things put together, it's

625
00:47:38.960 --> 00:47:43.039
gonna equal. You know, it's
gonna equal a disaster, you know what

626
00:47:43.039 --> 00:47:45.480
I mean. You're gonna get mad, you're gonna you're gonna blow up,

627
00:47:45.519 --> 00:47:50.000
and it's gonna you're gonna blow up
with your girlfriend or your wife or whoever,

628
00:47:50.039 --> 00:47:53.360
and it's gonna turn into, you
know, uh, a traumatic situation.

629
00:47:54.199 --> 00:48:00.920
So I think one is highlighting emotional
regulation amongst you know, black men

630
00:48:00.360 --> 00:48:06.840
so that they can understand how to
control themselves when they get upset or you

631
00:48:06.840 --> 00:48:08.639
know, when something maybe throws them
off a little bit and not just you

632
00:48:08.679 --> 00:48:15.920
know, resulting in anger and violence
and all of that in any in any

633
00:48:15.239 --> 00:48:19.360
you know, any aspect, but
mainly of course, you know, when

634
00:48:19.400 --> 00:48:24.679
dealing with women. That's why I
think maybe for the people who are the

635
00:48:24.760 --> 00:48:30.519
leaders in our community, which of
course usually was either being like rappers and

636
00:48:30.599 --> 00:48:35.079
you know, athletes and stuff,
you know, breaking character a little bit,

637
00:48:35.159 --> 00:48:37.159
right, I mean, for the
ones who don't you don't speak that,

638
00:48:37.719 --> 00:48:39.920
you know, continue doing what you're
doing. But for the ones that,

639
00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:44.519
you know, maybe make music about
you know, or you know,

640
00:48:44.599 --> 00:48:49.079
say some stuff that kind of sound
a little bit of meaning to women,

641
00:48:50.559 --> 00:48:52.719
break characters sometimes, you know what
I mean, break character and then you

642
00:48:52.840 --> 00:48:54.719
say, you know, big up
all they get them, you know what

643
00:48:54.719 --> 00:48:59.159
I mean, and just you know, all don't mind them, respectable mind

644
00:49:00.199 --> 00:49:01.840
you know whatever, whatever you've got
to do, just kind of like because

645
00:49:01.840 --> 00:49:05.559
these kids are literally eating at the
palm in your hands, so just like

646
00:49:06.000 --> 00:49:08.280
show them sometimes yo, we're not
a music on music, but we're not.

647
00:49:08.360 --> 00:49:12.360
We're not, we're not, you
know what I mean, and just

648
00:49:12.440 --> 00:49:17.159
kind of make these kids or leave
that type of impression on them sometimes.

649
00:49:19.840 --> 00:49:22.440
And then overall I think, you
know, just having conversations like these where

650
00:49:23.039 --> 00:49:27.159
we are, you know, we're
able to have this kind of dialogue and

651
00:49:27.239 --> 00:49:30.400
you know, influence others these type
of dialogues and you know, maybe we

652
00:49:30.480 --> 00:49:35.199
can touch our network and then other
people get their network and you know,

653
00:49:35.280 --> 00:49:38.280
just keep it going so on and
so forth. So yeah, I love

654
00:49:38.400 --> 00:49:43.320
that perfect, perfect perfect. I
think you know, like I said,

655
00:49:43.360 --> 00:49:47.199
I think these conversations help a lot. One of the things that one of

656
00:49:47.239 --> 00:49:53.159
my aunts and my parents even said
is sometimes it's just helpful to hear a

657
00:49:53.199 --> 00:50:00.119
man and a woman having a conversation
that is not riddled in like GOSSI for

658
00:50:00.199 --> 00:50:04.519
a man versus woman, or you
know, it's just like wow, okay,

659
00:50:04.599 --> 00:50:07.480
so we can have conversations and not
be at each other's throats or you

660
00:50:07.519 --> 00:50:13.119
know, trying to say this gender
doesn't understand this gender and because the reality

661
00:50:13.199 --> 00:50:15.480
is we'll never like you're always going
to be a man, I'm always going

662
00:50:15.559 --> 00:50:20.000
to be a woman, right,
So it's how can we have conversations to

663
00:50:20.119 --> 00:50:24.039
more so understand each other than to
put each other down or to put penny

664
00:50:24.039 --> 00:50:29.199
each other against each other. You
know, like to me, that doesn't

665
00:50:29.360 --> 00:50:34.199
that doesn't really help anyone. So
hopefully this is a safe space for everybody

666
00:50:34.320 --> 00:50:42.480
you know to come and listen to
us talk the things right absolutely segueing into

667
00:50:42.519 --> 00:50:45.280
something a little different but related to
brotherhood, which we talked about with you

668
00:50:45.320 --> 00:50:52.239
and your friends. You are also
a member of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity.

669
00:50:52.280 --> 00:50:54.440
Can you tell us where you went
to school? And I think you mentioned

670
00:50:54.440 --> 00:50:58.440
it a little bit earlier, but
maybe for just in case it didn't come

671
00:50:58.440 --> 00:51:01.039
out clear, can you tell us
where you went to school? What made

672
00:51:01.079 --> 00:51:07.679
you want to join a fraternity and
then Alpha obviously, and how being part

673
00:51:07.800 --> 00:51:15.079
of a brotherhood would you say helps
you and could help maybe young men listening

674
00:51:15.119 --> 00:51:19.840
that are considering joining right, So, yeah, I went to Delaware State

675
00:51:19.960 --> 00:51:28.519
University. I got my bachelor's in
twenty eighteen and my master's in twenty twenty

676
00:51:28.559 --> 00:51:34.159
two. But yeah, I crossed
to the Gama Sigma Chapter five Trinity Incorporated

677
00:51:34.519 --> 00:51:43.559
in fall eighteen, and yeah like
it. It has been one of the

678
00:51:43.599 --> 00:51:50.360
most fulfilling, one of the Yeah, one of the most fulfilling experiences of

679
00:51:50.400 --> 00:51:54.199
my life. You know, I
grew up in Amityville, Long Island.

680
00:51:54.480 --> 00:51:59.280
For anybody who knows about Long Island, you know it's a lot of people,

681
00:51:59.360 --> 00:52:00.239
know, like the mob. Why
this type of area, you know,

682
00:52:00.280 --> 00:52:05.199
the areas with money and stuff like
that. Oh is that where they're

683
00:52:05.199 --> 00:52:07.079
from? Yeah? Like yeah,
a lot of people you know, from

684
00:52:07.079 --> 00:52:10.039
the my bods are like dumble tamp
of areas. But you know, among

685
00:52:10.320 --> 00:52:16.039
among that is the little pockets where
are like it's completely overlooked because it's the

686
00:52:16.039 --> 00:52:21.360
hood, you know what I mean. And you know the cops, you

687
00:52:21.400 --> 00:52:23.480
know, the police and all of
that. They just focused on what's good

688
00:52:23.599 --> 00:52:28.039
because if we can keep the good
good, we'll be fine. Forget about

689
00:52:28.079 --> 00:52:30.880
this area over here. Who you
know, it's in turmoil, ten shootings

690
00:52:30.920 --> 00:52:32.840
a week and all that stuff,
you know what I mean, forget about

691
00:52:32.880 --> 00:52:37.320
it. Yeah. So I grew
up in you know, one of those

692
00:52:37.320 --> 00:52:42.280
type of areas and you know,
brotherhood, you know, it really just

693
00:52:42.400 --> 00:52:47.760
didn't have the best Like I didn't
have the best experiences of brotherhood, you

694
00:52:47.760 --> 00:52:52.199
know what I mean. A lot
of it was people bonding over like negativity,

695
00:52:52.199 --> 00:52:53.480
you know what I mean. It's
some of that I fell into as

696
00:52:53.480 --> 00:52:58.480
well, you know, unfortunately,
but you know that was my experience,

697
00:52:58.679 --> 00:53:01.320
and you know my way out was
went to college, right, you know,

698
00:53:01.360 --> 00:53:06.159
I had some experiences back home that
you know, it was it was

699
00:53:06.199 --> 00:53:07.800
a lot, you know, and
you know, me being able to me

700
00:53:07.880 --> 00:53:12.280
being able to go away. But
that was my ticket to you know,

701
00:53:12.360 --> 00:53:17.360
save myself, save my life.
So with me going away, I was

702
00:53:17.440 --> 00:53:21.280
exposed to, you know, fraternities. I'm like, what's all lit?

703
00:53:21.320 --> 00:53:24.039
Everybody wearing the same color? And
you know, right because being Jamaica and

704
00:53:24.079 --> 00:53:28.400
you know, you don't get exposed
to that. Move on after talking about

705
00:53:28.400 --> 00:53:31.679
that, you don't really have that
exposure exactly exactly. So I'm like,

706
00:53:32.119 --> 00:53:36.159
what they like, Let's see what
am I doing? Everybody? You know,

707
00:53:36.159 --> 00:53:37.719
everybody doing they stepping and strolling.
I'm like, you know, I

708
00:53:37.800 --> 00:53:42.800
see the see the other fraternities,
and I'm like, okay, they seem

709
00:53:42.880 --> 00:53:45.480
like they really like each other.
You know, they watch each other all

710
00:53:45.519 --> 00:53:47.480
the time. But I don't really
know what's what, what's what's what?

711
00:53:47.920 --> 00:53:54.280
What's it all about? Yeah,
but might not do together? I didn't

712
00:53:54.280 --> 00:53:59.719
think that, but nah, but
no, I uh, you know,

713
00:54:00.079 --> 00:54:04.280
after a little while, I you
know, started to get to know some

714
00:54:04.440 --> 00:54:07.599
of the some of the bros that
was that that was around, you know,

715
00:54:08.719 --> 00:54:12.000
dibbling, dabbling, telling the different
fraternities and stuff, and none of

716
00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:15.199
them really resonated with me until I
was speaking to you know, the alphas

717
00:54:16.039 --> 00:54:21.239
that are around, and you know, they kind of more resonated with me,

718
00:54:22.239 --> 00:54:25.320
just as men, right, They
genuinely cared about me, you know,

719
00:54:25.440 --> 00:54:30.639
a young eighteen nineteen year old at
the time, just bettering his life

720
00:54:30.719 --> 00:54:35.599
and getting anything he needed, getting
advice and you know, just kind of

721
00:54:35.679 --> 00:54:38.079
understanding the ropes of college and my
future and stuff like that. And whether

722
00:54:38.159 --> 00:54:42.599
I joined their fraternity or not,
they still wanted to see me succeed,

723
00:54:42.760 --> 00:54:45.480
you know what I mean. So
like, you know, that kind of

724
00:54:45.559 --> 00:54:47.639
resonated with me. And then I
you know, I started doing my own

725
00:54:47.760 --> 00:54:50.519
research and stuff. I'm like,
you know what, let me see what

726
00:54:50.599 --> 00:54:53.679
this black and gold stuff is about. I don't mean, not too annoy

727
00:54:53.760 --> 00:54:57.760
it and might do button. Let
me just read up something. So,

728
00:54:58.559 --> 00:55:00.119
you know, I started doing my
research stuff and I'm like, you know,

729
00:55:00.519 --> 00:55:04.280
everybody, everybody you know, checking
notable members and stuff like that,

730
00:55:04.440 --> 00:55:07.960
but like I mean respectfully, and
I want to say I feel like I'm

731
00:55:07.960 --> 00:55:15.239
saying this unbiasedly, Like Alpha PI
Alpha Turning Incorporated has the most notable members

732
00:55:15.480 --> 00:55:25.239
of any of the male organizations we
have things today, Yo, Martin Luther

733
00:55:25.440 --> 00:55:29.519
King. Come on now, I
don't have to say nothing else. After

734
00:55:29.639 --> 00:55:35.119
that dropped the mic and nothing more
meaning to say, Martin Luther King.

735
00:55:36.000 --> 00:55:42.440
Everybody yo, not talking, but
none talk but no Martin Luther King.

736
00:55:42.599 --> 00:55:45.559
You know what I'm saying. W
boys, like it's it's you know what

737
00:55:45.559 --> 00:55:49.440
I'm saying. Thirdgood Marshall. And
then something that resonated with me also was

738
00:55:50.519 --> 00:55:53.519
you know our our airport, you
know, kingsty Airport, Norman Manly Norman

739
00:55:53.559 --> 00:56:00.400
mainly was actually a member of people
knowing that that, you know, I'm

740
00:56:00.440 --> 00:56:05.880
like, oh, like the whole
you know, politician from you know,

741
00:56:06.000 --> 00:56:08.800
Jamaica is you know in this fraternity, you know what I mean, I'm

742
00:56:08.880 --> 00:56:12.760
like, wow, and one of
the most prominent of all time. I

743
00:56:12.840 --> 00:56:16.559
was like, you know what,
let me look into this and from from

744
00:56:16.679 --> 00:56:23.320
there, you know, as you
yeah, kind of like this. But

745
00:56:24.559 --> 00:56:27.719
yeah, man, it was one
of the best traces I've ever made.

746
00:56:27.760 --> 00:56:30.920
I don't regret it a bit.
I met, you know, great brothers,

747
00:56:30.760 --> 00:56:35.679
some of lifelong friends along the way, you know, great men like

748
00:56:35.800 --> 00:56:38.280
mutual you know what I mean.
Like, as you can see, it's

749
00:56:38.400 --> 00:56:44.239
just a network of really stand up
dudes, you know. Yeah, it's

750
00:56:44.320 --> 00:56:46.360
been great. I love that.
I love that. And what would you

751
00:56:46.480 --> 00:56:53.719
say, was or is something that
you learned from an alpha that has significantly

752
00:56:53.800 --> 00:57:04.800
impacted your life. I think I've
learned. One of the main things I've

753
00:57:04.880 --> 00:57:13.880
learned is being able to vulnerable,
Like be vulnerable with like if you're like

754
00:57:13.960 --> 00:57:17.719
if you're hurt, or you know
you're you're you're sad, or you know

755
00:57:17.880 --> 00:57:22.320
you need help with something. Being
able to just be transparent and real with

756
00:57:22.719 --> 00:57:25.719
the brothers around you, you know
what I mean. Like a lot of

757
00:57:25.800 --> 00:57:28.960
times, of course, as man, we want to hold it. We

758
00:57:29.079 --> 00:57:31.519
just want to be like I got
this, so I'll push through it whatever.

759
00:57:31.719 --> 00:57:36.119
But you know, through my you
know, through my journey and becoming

760
00:57:36.119 --> 00:57:38.000
an alpha and being around alphas and
all that stuff, and ever since,

761
00:57:38.480 --> 00:57:43.400
I've had moments where I wasn't okay. I've had moments where I needed help.

762
00:57:43.519 --> 00:57:45.679
You know. I have moments where
you know, like, yo,

763
00:57:45.719 --> 00:57:47.039
I don't got it today, Like
you know what I'm saying, Like today

764
00:57:47.199 --> 00:57:50.760
ain't my day. It needs to
be your day, you know what I

765
00:57:50.840 --> 00:57:53.159
mean. And in those moments,
you know, you know you got a

766
00:57:53.239 --> 00:57:55.840
brother that's friendly to like step up
and be like I got you to that,

767
00:57:55.960 --> 00:57:58.760
you know what I mean, or
you know, you know, don't

768
00:57:58.800 --> 00:58:00.400
worry about it today, you know, or tell me what's going on with

769
00:58:00.519 --> 00:58:02.840
you. You could talk to me. And you know, I learned that

770
00:58:04.039 --> 00:58:07.599
from you know, numerous bros,
but you know, a couple in particular.

771
00:58:07.159 --> 00:58:10.320
So yeah, yeah, I think
that's that's been one of the main

772
00:58:10.679 --> 00:58:15.360
important things that I was taught through
my journey. That's really beautiful. I

773
00:58:15.440 --> 00:58:20.880
think, like I said, you
were earlier talking about your friends, you

774
00:58:20.960 --> 00:58:24.400
know, but as you're talking about
the brotherhood and what you were able to

775
00:58:24.440 --> 00:58:29.800
get from that too, I think
that kind of resonates with the idea that

776
00:58:30.320 --> 00:58:35.280
it's really important for men. It
sounds like to me to have a group

777
00:58:35.679 --> 00:58:39.960
of friends or brothers or whoever,
just other men that they can rely on

778
00:58:40.159 --> 00:58:45.320
and that they can speak to and
as you said, they can be vulnerable

779
00:58:45.400 --> 00:58:50.320
with, because I don't think there
are a lot of spaces for men to

780
00:58:50.400 --> 00:58:53.559
be vulnerable, you know. And
I think it's very good that you did

781
00:58:53.639 --> 00:58:59.079
your own research and you didn't just
join so you can get the woman then

782
00:58:59.360 --> 00:59:04.880
you know, you really joined because
you saw you know, you mentioned certain

783
00:59:04.960 --> 00:59:08.840
prominent persons were part of this organization, which to me as you, as

784
00:59:08.920 --> 00:59:14.960
you surmise, would say a lot
about the organization, right, So I

785
00:59:15.079 --> 00:59:17.519
think I think you know as you're
talking, it's like, I don't know

786
00:59:17.559 --> 00:59:22.519
if you notice, but it's almost
like your whole life aligned. I know

787
00:59:22.599 --> 00:59:24.760
you're the therapist here, but you
know, in my mind, I'm a

788
00:59:24.840 --> 00:59:30.920
therapist. Therapists sometimes I'm telling you, so, yeah, keep talking to

789
00:59:30.039 --> 00:59:37.880
things. No, But it's like, you know from you saying that your

790
00:59:37.280 --> 00:59:42.159
mom created this environment, and I'm
sure your dad did too, but I'm

791
00:59:42.199 --> 00:59:46.119
focusing on mom because I think the
mother and son relationship is very important in

792
00:59:46.239 --> 00:59:49.760
who a man becomes. That's just
my thoughts. I don't know if that's

793
00:59:49.760 --> 00:59:53.320
a fact, but that's just my
opinion, right. And yeah, and

794
00:59:53.480 --> 00:59:58.559
so the fact that she created that, you know, that didn't absolve you

795
00:59:58.840 --> 01:00:01.920
of maybe getting into situations that you
look back and say, man, you

796
01:00:01.960 --> 01:00:05.880
know what was I doing? Because
those are all lessons, right, nothing

797
01:00:06.000 --> 01:00:08.440
is a mistake at least. I
believe everything happens for a reason. And

798
01:00:09.159 --> 01:00:14.000
as you said, thank god you
were afforded the opportunity to go to a

799
01:00:14.079 --> 01:00:19.280
different environment, right, And it
also shows that you know your environment can

800
01:00:19.400 --> 01:00:22.440
really change the trajectory of your life, because think of who you would have

801
01:00:22.519 --> 01:00:25.880
been had you stayed in that environment. You know, all the things I

802
01:00:25.960 --> 01:00:30.679
think we would be here, No, because it's a real thing. Although

803
01:00:30.760 --> 01:00:34.320
your mom did all that she did, she can't be around you twenty four

804
01:00:34.320 --> 01:00:37.000
to seven, you know what I
mean. Like, I've not been a

805
01:00:37.079 --> 01:00:39.360
mom yet and I don't know what
that's like. But I just think,

806
01:00:39.480 --> 01:00:43.320
wow, how did my parents like
let us even out of their sight?

807
01:00:43.639 --> 01:00:47.320
Because the world is so crazy and
as children, we were all to the

808
01:00:47.360 --> 01:00:52.400
host the majority of the day.
Like you spent maybe hours with your parents

809
01:00:52.440 --> 01:00:54.880
because you're at school, maybe you're
in extracurricular activities. You know, you

810
01:00:55.000 --> 01:00:59.840
have your friends, Especially as you
get older, you spend less and less

811
01:01:00.039 --> 01:01:04.599
time around your parents. So a
lot of times children aren't really who they

812
01:01:04.679 --> 01:01:14.039
are with their friends as they are
with their parents. You know, you

813
01:01:14.039 --> 01:01:15.079
said, that's all little strong,
you know, make sure you know that

814
01:01:15.239 --> 01:01:22.719
mommy is listening. Confession is good
for the soul. I'll be all type

815
01:01:22.719 --> 01:01:30.079
of souff know, mommy. No, but seriously, you know, having

816
01:01:30.920 --> 01:01:36.280
had that opportunity to go to this
new environment and you see this one bag

817
01:01:36.320 --> 01:01:39.039
of man and then up up and
down and you know, say a chant

818
01:01:39.199 --> 01:01:43.320
and you know you're thinking, like, what is this the fact that you

819
01:01:43.440 --> 01:01:49.079
looked into it and then you were
able to find a space that provided you

820
01:01:49.239 --> 01:01:52.119
with that brotherhood that you obviously needed. You know, maybe you didn't know

821
01:01:52.199 --> 01:01:55.199
you needed it because, like you
said, you're surrounded by like this is

822
01:01:55.239 --> 01:01:59.400
what life is, but you saw
like, oh, wow, you know

823
01:01:59.519 --> 01:02:02.440
I can have these persons, these
men around me that are there for me,

824
01:02:02.599 --> 01:02:07.519
that I can trust that will help
me. I think that's like such

825
01:02:07.599 --> 01:02:13.000
a full circle moment because to me, that probably contributed to your ability to

826
01:02:13.119 --> 01:02:15.559
then be that for other people,
right, like to show up for other

827
01:02:15.679 --> 01:02:20.480
people and you know, just to
be that safe space for others, because

828
01:02:20.480 --> 01:02:24.800
I firmly believe that you can't be
to others what you're not to yourself,

829
01:02:27.079 --> 01:02:35.159
absolutely right, you know. So
I just think that, yeah, I

830
01:02:35.360 --> 01:02:38.639
just think that you know you as
a former Miss Black and Gold. I

831
01:02:38.679 --> 01:02:43.800
guess not former because I'm always Miss
Black people. I have to say you

832
01:02:43.880 --> 01:02:52.719
made the right choice, as did
you, as did you? So for

833
01:02:52.000 --> 01:02:59.400
our final segment, I am going
to ask you seven rapid fire questions,

834
01:03:00.280 --> 01:03:02.119
and I want you to answer with
the first thing that comes to your mind.

835
01:03:02.199 --> 01:03:07.679
It could be a word or a
sentence. Okay, ready mm hmm,

836
01:03:07.159 --> 01:03:09.960
all right, you stretch your back
and everything like you're ready to answer

837
01:03:10.079 --> 01:03:16.719
fast. I don't have a buzzer, but yeah. First question, what

838
01:03:17.159 --> 01:03:28.079
is your favorite childhood memory? Favorite
childhood memory? M hm. Favorite childhood

839
01:03:28.079 --> 01:03:34.039
memory is my aunt used to have
these parties every year for my cousin cousin's

840
01:03:34.079 --> 01:03:37.320
birthday. My Auntie Angie and I
used to love those parties because it was

841
01:03:37.519 --> 01:03:42.159
like it was just all the family
was there, well be around each other

842
01:03:42.239 --> 01:03:45.800
and run up on So I think, yeah, I think that was my

843
01:03:45.920 --> 01:03:53.239
favorite. Very nice. What is
your favorite and least favorite zodiac sign?

844
01:03:54.039 --> 01:04:00.000
Favorite capricord, least favorite, the
rest of them? Nah, we see

845
01:04:02.480 --> 01:04:11.800
ut. Least favorite probably Sagittarius or
Geminiica and to it, I really that's

846
01:04:11.880 --> 01:04:14.559
that sounds like a story time guys. We'll have to bring him back for

847
01:04:14.639 --> 01:04:17.960
that. That sounds like a storytelling
whole another episode. I got a whole

848
01:04:18.039 --> 01:04:23.599
hour for that. Ready for that? Yet? Oh my god? Well,

849
01:04:23.679 --> 01:04:25.760
let me guess. Are you a
Capricorn? Is that why you said

850
01:04:25.760 --> 01:04:30.079
they're your favorite? Yep? Yep, definitely. Okay, okay, that

851
01:04:30.280 --> 01:04:34.480
makes sense, that makes sense.
All right. Next question, what is

852
01:04:34.599 --> 01:04:41.119
the most important piece of advice your
mother and or grandmother has given you.

853
01:04:41.800 --> 01:04:48.480
Favorite piece of advice forgiveness, I
think, yeah, I think forgiveness being

854
01:04:48.559 --> 01:04:54.559
able to let bygones, be by
guards. Being able to just kind of

855
01:04:54.599 --> 01:04:57.760
put things behind you, even if
somebody, you know, they hurt you,

856
01:04:58.039 --> 01:05:00.760
not saying to you know, let
them back in your life to the

857
01:05:00.840 --> 01:05:04.119
same degree, but for your heart
and your soul, you know, just

858
01:05:04.199 --> 01:05:08.760
kind of to clean your clean your
heart, I say, you know,

859
01:05:08.880 --> 01:05:11.800
just kind of forgiving and moving on. You know, don't hold no hatred,

860
01:05:11.840 --> 01:05:15.400
don't hold no grudge. And that's
from my mom and my my great

861
01:05:15.440 --> 01:05:20.199
grandma. Big up yourself, big
up herself. She just survived a stroke

862
01:05:20.920 --> 01:05:26.559
last week, you know, about
to get out the hospital. No,

863
01:05:26.800 --> 01:05:29.719
no, she's been recovering, man, but she'll warrior eighty eight years old,

864
01:05:29.800 --> 01:05:31.320
about to get out the high school
in the next few days. Oh

865
01:05:31.400 --> 01:05:36.360
that's great, that's great, Thank
you God for that. Oh my goodness,

866
01:05:36.880 --> 01:05:43.840
Well that is excellent advice. Nobody
is worth your health, and you

867
01:05:43.920 --> 01:05:46.239
know, forgiveness has a lot to
do with that. And plus stress ages

868
01:05:46.280 --> 01:05:49.199
you and we're trying to look young
and fresh. We're not trying to get

869
01:05:49.239 --> 01:05:56.599
any exactly exactly. You know,
that's very good advice. Okay, next

870
01:05:56.719 --> 01:06:00.599
question. If you could travel anywhere
in the world, all expenses paid,

871
01:06:01.519 --> 01:06:09.320
where would you go and what five
people would you take? Uh it's probably

872
01:06:09.519 --> 01:06:13.840
cliche, but I would definitely just
go to Jamaica, even though I know

873
01:06:13.960 --> 01:06:21.360
there like all the time. But
it's just like I I like feeling comfortable.

874
01:06:21.880 --> 01:06:26.800
I like feeling comfortable. I like
like being around what I know,

875
01:06:27.760 --> 01:06:30.440
and you know, just being able
to navigate, like how to navigate.

876
01:06:30.760 --> 01:06:34.079
So if I if I had like
one like imagine me saying like, oh,

877
01:06:34.119 --> 01:06:36.360
I want to go to Greece,
and Greece, I'm gonna like it,

878
01:06:36.840 --> 01:06:40.440
Like you know what I'm saying,
like, oh, I know for

879
01:06:40.760 --> 01:06:43.400
you, oh my gosh, you
really are a Capricorn. You have to

880
01:06:43.480 --> 01:06:46.719
know like every single details. Yes, yes, absolutely goodness. It would

881
01:06:46.719 --> 01:06:50.239
definitely just you know, I mean
even if it's like, all right,

882
01:06:50.280 --> 01:06:53.440
I'm going to a resort or something, but I get to go, you

883
01:06:53.519 --> 01:06:58.159
know, right to Manchester, Tor
Frindly and stuff. But you know,

884
01:06:58.280 --> 01:07:02.400
beyond that, definitely Jamaica. Well, honestly, I wasn't saying that like

885
01:07:02.599 --> 01:07:06.039
it's a bad thing. I was
because typically people are like, oh,

886
01:07:06.079 --> 01:07:10.480
I want to go to the Maldives
or something crazy. But I get what

887
01:07:10.559 --> 01:07:12.920
you're saying. You want to go
where you know you're gonna like it,

888
01:07:13.639 --> 01:07:16.079
and it's all expensive paid, so
now you're gonna charge the good food.

889
01:07:16.239 --> 01:07:18.320
I'm gonna have a blast. I
know what music is gonna play, I

890
01:07:18.400 --> 01:07:21.320
know what dances we can dance.
I know the rules out there. Like

891
01:07:23.360 --> 01:07:29.559
okay, and then which five people
would you take with you? I would

892
01:07:29.719 --> 01:07:40.239
take my two cousins, Rochelle Amanda, I would take uh my mom.

893
01:07:41.639 --> 01:07:45.440
You know she goes all the time
too, so I don't want a party

894
01:07:45.480 --> 01:07:53.760
like how me and party? But
yeah, definitely definitely take her. Take

895
01:07:53.800 --> 01:07:57.800
miss back because she loved she loved
going down to Jamaica too. Okay,

896
01:07:59.280 --> 01:08:03.880
last weep? What I take?
Last? Probably my h my best friend

897
01:08:03.960 --> 01:08:06.599
Stanley. Take him. I don't
think he's ever been in Jamaica. I

898
01:08:06.639 --> 01:08:11.360
think all the rest of my best
friends been to Jamaica. My best friend

899
01:08:11.360 --> 01:08:14.360
from back home hasn't been, So
I take him. Oh nice, I

900
01:08:14.480 --> 01:08:20.000
love that. Okay, And next
question, what brings you the most joy?

901
01:08:21.760 --> 01:08:27.760
Making people? Making people happy or
making people smile, making people feel

902
01:08:27.800 --> 01:08:30.920
loved or warmth, and then family
I love that, and then and then

903
01:08:31.000 --> 01:08:40.319
music. Music is third music.
Okay, Oh, how about what is

904
01:08:40.399 --> 01:08:48.359
a deal breaker for you in a
relationship? I think a deal breaker is

905
01:08:49.279 --> 01:09:00.560
somebody who somebody who is like uh, I guess, disrespectful, somebody who

906
01:09:00.720 --> 01:09:04.079
you know, you know, they
get upset whatever and they just show no

907
01:09:04.960 --> 01:09:08.680
respect to me, you know what
I mean, just cursing me out and

908
01:09:08.720 --> 01:09:10.920
called me out my name, or
like you know, I bring you home

909
01:09:10.960 --> 01:09:14.199
and you could walk past my mom
and just walk inside and you know,

910
01:09:14.359 --> 01:09:17.520
must say evening or not and like
you know, stuff like that, you

911
01:09:17.600 --> 01:09:23.039
know where it's just like you just
don't understand the basic concepts of respect for

912
01:09:23.239 --> 01:09:29.560
people. That's definitely a deal break. Definitely. Okay. So ladies,

913
01:09:29.600 --> 01:09:32.159
you heard it here. First,
you must have brought up see yes when

914
01:09:32.439 --> 01:09:36.720
you know pursuing mister Blaze. Okay, have your brought up Sea in your

915
01:09:36.800 --> 01:09:45.079
purse because it is needed. Keep
on that, okay. And the final

916
01:09:45.239 --> 01:09:49.800
question, if you could tell your
sixteen year old self one thing, what

917
01:09:49.920 --> 01:09:59.680
would you say? I would tell
myself be yourself. The things that you

918
01:09:59.800 --> 01:10:02.960
think you have to engage in,
you don't have to engage in because you're

919
01:10:03.039 --> 01:10:08.239
cool. You're cool all by yourself. You're cool enough to just do what

920
01:10:08.840 --> 01:10:12.079
makes you happy and to express yourself
in the way you want to express yourself.

921
01:10:12.119 --> 01:10:14.720
You have to follow by a friend. You don't got to be Gangstan

922
01:10:14.880 --> 01:10:17.640
or tough guy or nothing. Do
what you're interested in, do what you

923
01:10:17.760 --> 01:10:20.640
love to do, and everybody else
will follow because it's a cool guys.

924
01:10:20.880 --> 01:10:25.119
Just be a cool guy, man. I love that. Yes, so

925
01:10:25.399 --> 01:10:29.720
that's a perfect answer that you're giving, all the perfect answers. I love

926
01:10:29.800 --> 01:10:32.159
that, and it's you know,
all jokes have said. It's important,

927
01:10:32.319 --> 01:10:38.920
right because I feel like there's so
much pressure on kids nowadays, like with

928
01:10:39.119 --> 01:10:43.279
social media and like you said in
the music, them really thinking that these

929
01:10:43.399 --> 01:10:46.520
rappers are doing what they're saying and
feeling that they have to be that way,

930
01:10:47.319 --> 01:10:50.880
whether it's to get friends or girls
or whatever. And I think that's

931
01:10:51.000 --> 01:10:57.079
just such an important message, you
know, just be yourself right. Absolutely

932
01:10:57.920 --> 01:11:04.920
love that. Well, Blaze.
Sadly, this concludes episode, but I

933
01:11:05.079 --> 01:11:09.680
want to thank you so much for
coming to talk the things with me and

934
01:11:10.039 --> 01:11:15.720
for sharing your story. And I'm
certain that your story will help so many

935
01:11:15.880 --> 01:11:20.159
young women, young women and men
feel seen and before we go, I

936
01:11:20.239 --> 01:11:25.680
would love it if you could tell
everyone where they can find you so they

937
01:11:25.760 --> 01:11:31.600
can laugh like me and anything anything
else that you want to share. So

938
01:11:31.960 --> 01:11:39.119
I'm dope like Blade on all platforms, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, everything,

939
01:11:39.720 --> 01:11:45.880
Instagram. Don't like Blazes on Apple
Music and Spotify. Just blaze.

940
01:11:45.920 --> 01:11:48.439
You know, I dropped the song
a little bit. Yeah, a little

941
01:11:48.479 --> 01:11:51.119
bit, real, real good tune. But uh, you know it's a

942
01:11:51.159 --> 01:11:58.239
little explicit, So if you're not
into that, skip down one. But

943
01:11:58.399 --> 01:12:01.079
yeah, Blazes a little bit,
you know out now all platforms, And

944
01:12:01.239 --> 01:12:05.119
yeah, man, it's definitely an
honor, you know that you reached out

945
01:12:05.159 --> 01:12:10.840
and compact the things. It's been
a pleasure talking to Thank you so much,

946
01:12:11.000 --> 01:12:14.720
of course, of course not It
was really fun and I think,

947
01:12:14.840 --> 01:12:17.319
you know, like we said,
this conversation is definitely going to be helpful

948
01:12:17.439 --> 01:12:21.880
to somebody out there, you know, at whatever stage of life they're in,

949
01:12:23.720 --> 01:12:27.720
because we covered so many things right, And I think it's so amazing

950
01:12:27.880 --> 01:12:30.640
that I found out during this episode
that you are a therapist and that you're

951
01:12:30.680 --> 01:12:35.680
able to provide kind of just I
don't know, like a sense that it's

952
01:12:35.760 --> 01:12:40.520
okay to express emotion, whether that's
to your friends or you know, in

953
01:12:40.640 --> 01:12:44.279
your brotherhood, or just showing up
for your family, you know what I

954
01:12:44.399 --> 01:12:48.600
mean, Like, you're not just
what people probably know you as on the

955
01:12:48.800 --> 01:12:57.479
surface, which is like artists and
comedian, right, you have the layers.

956
01:12:57.600 --> 01:13:00.359
You know, it's important to show
that, especially as a man.

957
01:13:00.479 --> 01:13:04.119
So yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed this
episode and thank you again for coming,

958
01:13:04.399 --> 01:13:06.520
thank you for having me. It's
amazing.