WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.800 --> 00:00:06.240 In this episode, going back to my dad's funeral because the last episode we 2 00:00:06.280 --> 00:00:11.960 didn't quite get there all the way, so back at it got my co 3 00:00:12.080 --> 00:00:18.519 host Jennifer here, don't go away, We'll be right back. Hello there, 4 00:00:18.559 --> 00:00:23.239 and welcome to the Latter Day Lesbian podcast podcast about an next Mormon gay 5 00:00:23.280 --> 00:00:27.800 girl just trying to figure out her life. I'm Shelly, and again I 6 00:00:27.839 --> 00:00:32.119 have special guest hosts Jennifer with me today. Jennifer, say, hi, 7 00:00:32.600 --> 00:00:40.960 Hi, oh there you are. So last episode, if you remember, 8 00:00:41.200 --> 00:00:45.119 we were talking about my dad's funeral and I was thinking, gosh, I 9 00:00:45.119 --> 00:00:47.840 hope I can fill enough time, but we had to cut it short. 10 00:00:48.200 --> 00:00:50.759 It was over an hour long. It was all said and done, but 11 00:00:50.799 --> 00:00:55.119 I basically got to the point where me and my kids and my girlfriend Donna 12 00:00:55.200 --> 00:01:03.040 had like landed in Utah. Yeah it's yeah. Who says I'm long winded? 13 00:01:03.120 --> 00:01:08.879 Nobody, but I am. Oh oh yes everybody. Uh so, 14 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:14.799 Jennifer, reintroduce yourself to people who might not be following the rules and are 15 00:01:15.079 --> 00:01:19.120 just jumping into this episode. First. Okay, I'm Jennifer Waters, and 16 00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:25.799 I am an OG listener and kind of a partial contributor at times. Exmo 17 00:01:26.040 --> 00:01:30.599 Lesbo on TikTok, you just really want to go wild with it? Mom 18 00:01:30.599 --> 00:01:34.280 of four kids, live in Utah, left the church twenty sixteen, caught 19 00:01:34.280 --> 00:01:38.480 the gay, been with the ladies ever since. That gay, you'll get 20 00:01:38.519 --> 00:01:42.879 you and it's I know, you know one person pleases I was gonna say, 21 00:01:42.879 --> 00:01:46.200 it doesn't just clear up on his own either. It's like, you 22 00:01:46.319 --> 00:01:49.599 catch the gay, you've got the gay. It's it's it's a terminal illness, 23 00:01:49.719 --> 00:01:56.719 rigorous treatment. That's what I'm talking about. Okay. So when you 24 00:01:56.760 --> 00:02:00.799 call through yourself an OG listener or o G podcast listener, podcast fan, 25 00:02:00.879 --> 00:02:06.519 whatever you said, who's listening to the episode that we recorded last with Donna 26 00:02:07.359 --> 00:02:10.080 my girlfriend? And she's like, what does OG mean? It was so 27 00:02:10.199 --> 00:02:14.840 cute. I know that means she grew up with dollars and not y. 28 00:02:17.680 --> 00:02:23.199 Yes. I'm like, so it means original gangster. That's what it means, 29 00:02:23.240 --> 00:02:25.080 right, yeah? Yeah, I'm like wait, I had to pause. 30 00:02:25.120 --> 00:02:28.680 I'm like, no, that's okay, and then she goes, what 31 00:02:28.960 --> 00:02:30.719 like, yeah, like the OG the original. She had no clue. 32 00:02:30.759 --> 00:02:36.560 It was very cute how clueless she was. Tot's presh as we say here, 33 00:02:37.520 --> 00:02:40.520 Diane, how is how is Zion doing these days? How's the old 34 00:02:40.599 --> 00:02:44.960 Utah? You know what? It's fucking winter here and everybody's sick of it. 35 00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:46.479 So somebody really does need to step up and go with the eleven percent 36 00:02:46.800 --> 00:02:51.520 at this point because I am tired of it. Well, it's not gonna 37 00:02:51.560 --> 00:02:54.120 be me. Hey, I don't live there and be here in Virginia. 38 00:02:54.159 --> 00:02:58.560 We've got some It's it's nice out, a little bit rainy, but most 39 00:02:58.680 --> 00:03:01.879 mostly warm. Happy for you, well, thank you. Okay, life 40 00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:09.439 update for me. Donna and I are moving in together in little less than 41 00:03:09.479 --> 00:03:13.919 a month. So everyone who's like, what the fuck you and Mary just 42 00:03:13.960 --> 00:03:16.439 broke up? No, it's been like a long time now. I can't 43 00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:22.599 believe how much time has passed. Mary and I broke up roughly the end 44 00:03:22.639 --> 00:03:27.280 of July of twenty twenty three. But in all honesty, it was kind 45 00:03:27.319 --> 00:03:30.639 of looking back now, it was kind of swirling the bowl for a little 46 00:03:30.639 --> 00:03:35.520 while there. Anyway. Yeah, and as of today this recording, we're 47 00:03:35.520 --> 00:03:39.919 in the first week of May. So recovery's going well. Mary and I 48 00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:46.439 don't really talk much except for things concerning the Airbnb. God, that's about 49 00:03:46.479 --> 00:03:51.960 it. It's such an everybody's going their own way. It's such a strange 50 00:03:53.039 --> 00:03:57.000 thing. Yeah, God, looking back, I'm like, you know, 51 00:03:57.039 --> 00:03:59.439 when the breakup first happened, it was like, how am I going to 52 00:03:59.479 --> 00:04:03.080 ever get through this? This is the worst thing ever? And now it's 53 00:04:03.280 --> 00:04:09.199 just not really even in my head anymore. Does that make me sound cold 54 00:04:09.280 --> 00:04:12.479 or callous or just that I've moved forward? No, because what you said 55 00:04:12.639 --> 00:04:16.120 was true at the time, Like when that happened, your reality was that 56 00:04:16.240 --> 00:04:20.439 it was devastating and consuming and all that stuff. You don't have to live 57 00:04:20.480 --> 00:04:25.839 in that reality for the next five years, Like there's not a formula you 58 00:04:25.839 --> 00:04:30.160 have to follow for healthy recovery. Well, that's that's good. So that 59 00:04:30.480 --> 00:04:38.519 is an update. It will be we are moving from our own homes. 60 00:04:38.680 --> 00:04:43.959 Like she lives in Gaithersburg, I live in Vienna. We are moving to 61 00:04:44.120 --> 00:04:48.600 McLain, which is about fifteen minutes from me, so that I can be 62 00:04:48.759 --> 00:04:55.279 still close to my kids because there's still ten thousand of them. And her 63 00:04:55.319 --> 00:04:59.839 two kids she has an adult child and a sixteen year old child, will 64 00:04:59.879 --> 00:05:04.879 be will stay living in her house in Gaithersburg and her and Donna's ex wife 65 00:05:04.920 --> 00:05:09.399 will be moving into that house. Yeah, it's a whole ass shit show, 66 00:05:09.759 --> 00:05:14.439 believe you me? Mm hm, So that Donna's kids can stay in 67 00:05:14.519 --> 00:05:16.759 their same school, or so her one child who's still in school can still 68 00:05:16.759 --> 00:05:24.040 be in school there, but that child will come and stay with us during 69 00:05:24.079 --> 00:05:27.079 the custody weeks, as will mine. So it's gonna be a big ass 70 00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:30.040 shit show. Just there will be lots to say there are like thirty seven 71 00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:32.399 rooms in the house or how does that work? There are a lot of 72 00:05:32.480 --> 00:05:39.120 rooms in the house that yep, every child has their own room. But 73 00:05:39.160 --> 00:05:42.759 again, I like my old older kids. They are they're fucking doing their 74 00:05:42.759 --> 00:05:46.480 own thing. Although my oldest daughter's moving back in so she can save money 75 00:05:46.639 --> 00:05:50.439 and go to college. So who fucking knows that this is life? Can 76 00:05:50.480 --> 00:05:54.839 we just say, yeah, whatever works for you, this is life. 77 00:05:55.759 --> 00:06:00.560 Okay, So that's my most recent life update. Now everyone's like, we 78 00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:06.240 really want to know what happened actually at your dad's funeral, And I just 79 00:06:06.279 --> 00:06:12.759 have to say too. As I was listening to the first Funeral episode and 80 00:06:12.759 --> 00:06:15.600 again I've said this before, like I don't remember what I talked about. 81 00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:20.040 Right after I stopped recording listening to it was it was weird to just like 82 00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:24.920 go through it again. I don't know, it's like to relive in again. 83 00:06:25.360 --> 00:06:28.800 Yeah, it's kind of like I for I forgot that my parents are 84 00:06:28.800 --> 00:06:30.480 dead, and then I get reminded because there I am talking about it, 85 00:06:30.519 --> 00:06:34.279 and I'm listening to myself talk about it. So just with just weird emotions, 86 00:06:34.319 --> 00:06:36.759 I mean, I'm yeah, I don't know. I guess those of 87 00:06:36.759 --> 00:06:42.600 you who have lost parents, loved ones, whatever, there's just a lot 88 00:06:42.600 --> 00:06:45.920 of emotions that you don't expect that you're you know, you're just not ready 89 00:06:45.959 --> 00:06:48.680 for that. It feels good to sit and analyze and be like wow, 90 00:06:48.759 --> 00:06:53.560 okay. And that's what I did yesterday, a lot of wow okay. 91 00:06:53.759 --> 00:06:59.920 Huh. So the end of the episode, part one was a lot of 92 00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:05.040 about Donna being so helpful with the kids, and she's still just freaking amazing 93 00:07:05.399 --> 00:07:10.720 with helping out with things, and I'm so appreciative of that. Let's just 94 00:07:11.240 --> 00:07:17.600 jump in to where the plane lands and my brothers come and pick us up 95 00:07:17.600 --> 00:07:23.639 from the airport. And it's awesome because my brothers have met Donna before, 96 00:07:23.680 --> 00:07:27.240 and Donna has met them, and they're friendly and they're happy and they hug 97 00:07:27.319 --> 00:07:31.319 and it's just times it just feels right, you know, it just feels 98 00:07:31.439 --> 00:07:38.160 like, oh, she's always been in my family familiarity. Absolutely. It's 99 00:07:38.199 --> 00:07:42.360 interesting too because her daughter, her sixe year old daughter, told me that 100 00:07:42.439 --> 00:07:44.399 about a month ago. She's like, yeah, it just feels like you've 101 00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:47.040 always been there, which is such a sweet thing to hear from a kid. 102 00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:53.639 And my kids adore Donna like they hug her, they talk to her. 103 00:07:53.839 --> 00:07:58.160 They it just is really cute. It's nice to not feel like a 104 00:07:58.199 --> 00:08:01.800 single lass and change. Oh my god, yeah, yeah, huge. 105 00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:07.560 All right, the funerals. So we get to the airbnb that was rented 106 00:08:07.600 --> 00:08:13.839 for everyone to stay at, and again this is there's my oldest brother David. 107 00:08:13.879 --> 00:08:18.199 Let's let's set the stage again. Oldest brother David asshole, can't stand 108 00:08:18.279 --> 00:08:22.240 him. Narcissist, not that I am placing a label, but yeah, 109 00:08:22.279 --> 00:08:28.160 I would say yeah, but it's it's super there, selfish, liar, 110 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:37.360 just not a good person, abusive to people anyway. That's David. Oldest. 111 00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:43.960 Next is Mike. Mike is the more I mean, he's funny, 112 00:08:43.960 --> 00:08:48.799 but he's also more serious. He's a he's a doctor, lives in Florida. 113 00:08:48.200 --> 00:08:52.519 His wife is Elise. His three daughters have all basically left the church. 114 00:08:54.600 --> 00:09:01.120 They have one adopted son who is severely autistic. He is my youngest 115 00:09:01.240 --> 00:09:05.440 age and Mike and I get along great. He's more of the I hate 116 00:09:05.440 --> 00:09:07.559 to say trumper, but yeah, he's just kind of a trumper. And 117 00:09:09.039 --> 00:09:11.039 this I know. I know I make that face too. And I was 118 00:09:11.080 --> 00:09:15.440 listening to myself talk about this in the last episode, where you're just kind 119 00:09:15.519 --> 00:09:18.639 of like, here's my family, how do they treat me? They have 120 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:20.600 some fucked up views on things. Yeah, they have some fucked up views 121 00:09:20.600 --> 00:09:26.799 on things, because that's that's there. That's the news channel that they watch. 122 00:09:26.960 --> 00:09:30.360 How about that? Yeah? And so yes, I have to stomach 123 00:09:30.440 --> 00:09:33.840 some things that he says. I you know, I shouldn't call him the 124 00:09:33.879 --> 00:09:37.200 trumper. Honestly, I don't even know if he voted for Trump. All 125 00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:43.399 I'm saying is he's conservative and he can't stand Biden because you can't like both 126 00:09:43.440 --> 00:09:46.759 sides. That's just how it is. And then there's Mark. Mark is 127 00:09:48.080 --> 00:09:50.919 the one just older than me by three years. His wife is Heidi. 128 00:09:50.200 --> 00:09:56.000 They are freaking awesome. All of their kids are still Mormon, and all 129 00:09:56.039 --> 00:10:00.159 of their kids and my kids are like super tight, which makes it so 130 00:10:00.240 --> 00:10:05.279 fun. Oh and David's kids forgot about them. David has three living kids 131 00:10:05.320 --> 00:10:13.080 from his second marriage and their kids. His kids can't stand him. They 132 00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:16.000 don't want to be anywhere near him. I don't blame them. They hate 133 00:10:16.039 --> 00:10:20.440 him. There you go. Did you say three living kids for a reason 134 00:10:20.519 --> 00:10:22.320 or why did you say it like that? Oh? Yeah, so had 135 00:10:22.519 --> 00:10:31.000 their first child died was born with What they think happened was that the baby 136 00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:35.879 had a stroke in utero sometime after twenty weeks and the brain stopped growing and 137 00:10:35.960 --> 00:10:39.120 just kind of shrunk down. And yeah, Isaac lived fourteen months, which 138 00:10:39.200 --> 00:10:43.799 was wow. Yeah. I mean he had lots of surgeries and things, 139 00:10:43.840 --> 00:10:46.240 but he was basically non like he had to have medicine to wake up, 140 00:10:46.279 --> 00:10:52.159 medicine to fall asleep, feeding to blind. I'm not sure he could hear, 141 00:10:52.399 --> 00:10:54.960 club feet, just a lot, like a whole list of everything was 142 00:10:56.000 --> 00:11:01.360 wrong. Okay, so there's the fan there they are. But there is 143 00:11:01.440 --> 00:11:07.840 something again, so great when I get all of my kids and my nieces 144 00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:13.320 and nephews together because no one gives a shit about what anyone believes. Everyone 145 00:11:13.559 --> 00:11:18.960 is just out for the party. They just have fun. They will all 146 00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:24.159 play the same games. There's the kids like mine that really swear a lot, 147 00:11:24.320 --> 00:11:28.799 which is wonderful. But no one judges anyone. I don't know. 148 00:11:28.879 --> 00:11:37.240 It's just kids, yes, and I yeah, And I feel like the 149 00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:39.919 next generation Mormons, the ones who stick in it, who stick around, 150 00:11:39.960 --> 00:11:43.960 I think most of them will leave anyway. But if the next generation of 151 00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:52.919 Mormons are like markn Heidi's Mormon kids, I have hope that they will be 152 00:11:52.120 --> 00:11:56.320 okay. Whether that means they can live the religion in a way that doesn't 153 00:11:56.399 --> 00:12:03.639 hurt them, meaning they ignore ninety nine percent of the shit right and start 154 00:12:03.679 --> 00:12:07.759 to question things, or they just flat out leave, which I think flat 155 00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:09.200 out leave will probably be the case for some of them. I don't. 156 00:12:09.240 --> 00:12:13.279 I don't know so well. And the church isn't the same for them as 157 00:12:13.279 --> 00:12:16.960 it is as it was for us. The church that kids are growing up 158 00:12:16.960 --> 00:12:20.000 in today has no resemblance to the church that you and I grew up in. 159 00:12:20.279 --> 00:12:24.159 Oh God, no, God no, which makes me think of there's 160 00:12:24.440 --> 00:12:26.559 an article came out. Hold on, let me yell at my dog. 161 00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:31.120 Yeah no, no, I'll tell you who's intruder. Domino is intruding on 162 00:12:31.200 --> 00:12:35.440 my piece. What he likes to do is he goes and he gets socks 163 00:12:35.480 --> 00:12:39.360 out of my kids rooms. He brings them down and he walks in front 164 00:12:39.399 --> 00:12:41.480 of Eddie, drops it in front of Eddie and then growls and barks at 165 00:12:41.559 --> 00:12:45.360 Eddie, like, don't you fucking take my sock. That's what's happening. 166 00:12:45.759 --> 00:12:48.000 That's what I went out to check on. Really, Yes, it's some 167 00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:52.840 bullshit going on out there. Do you have I was gonna ask you, 168 00:12:52.879 --> 00:12:58.279 do you have like Mormon cousins and whatever that are? Like? Cool? 169 00:13:00.519 --> 00:13:03.519 Yeah, So I have three siblings. My oldest brother lives in Vegas. 170 00:13:03.600 --> 00:13:09.320 He just got divorced as well, and he's always been an outside Mormon. 171 00:13:09.320 --> 00:13:11.240 We were also raised outside of Utah, so our Mormon is different too, 172 00:13:11.399 --> 00:13:15.840 like my siblings and I. My youngest brother left the church before I did 173 00:13:15.879 --> 00:13:20.639 because he's always got to be better than me. And then my sister is 174 00:13:20.879 --> 00:13:22.559 very, very active. She lives here in the same town as me, 175 00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:28.399 and they're like the checklist Mormons, like they do everything they're supposed to do, 176 00:13:28.919 --> 00:13:31.600 still have scripture study, they do everything. All three of her kids 177 00:13:31.639 --> 00:13:35.759 have gone on missions, but somehow she makes both of them work. Like 178 00:13:35.840 --> 00:13:41.080 she when I was going through my horrible divorce, she was at every court 179 00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:45.000 hearing with me, and she's a fierce defender. She would probably cut somebody 180 00:13:45.039 --> 00:13:48.000 if they ever said anything bad about me or me not being Mormon, or 181 00:13:48.039 --> 00:13:52.240 gay or anything. She's never said a thing like I showed up full tattoos 182 00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:56.279 out for her daughter's graduation from college last week, and nobody says anything like 183 00:13:56.679 --> 00:14:01.159 that. So she is the exception to like every Mormon rule. And I 184 00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:05.399 think a majority of that is that we grew up outside of Utah. So 185 00:14:05.440 --> 00:14:07.919 are you Like I said, our mormon is different, and plus we're sisters 186 00:14:07.960 --> 00:14:13.240 and we're fairly close to each other. But the people that are kind in 187 00:14:13.279 --> 00:14:16.480 Mormonism to me are my age or lower. Yeah, I have not found 188 00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:24.279 anybody my age are higher other than my dad, who is open at all. 189 00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:26.000 It's just very black and white. Like when I move to Utah, 190 00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:30.759 that's when I learned that Mormonism and the culture here was very very black and 191 00:14:30.759 --> 00:14:33.279 white, despite there being like probably more jack Mormons as they used to call 192 00:14:33.320 --> 00:14:39.200 them. Right now they're progressive Mormons, right, But like when I grew 193 00:14:39.279 --> 00:14:43.559 up, you just didn't do the things you weren't supposed to do. There 194 00:14:43.559 --> 00:14:48.279 wasn't a question mark or a consideration that you could you absolutely did not do 195 00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:52.600 the things three piercings. You were a whore, oh for sure, nobody. 196 00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:54.759 And now you can be like, oh my name's Bercakesley and I have 197 00:14:56.080 --> 00:15:01.240 nineteen piercings and I have a tattoo of Jesus, and like it wasn't the 198 00:15:01.360 --> 00:15:05.919 cherry picking religion that it is. Now you can't be a TikTok mom influencer 199 00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:11.240 Mormon lady and still actually sit in a pew and go through the temple and 200 00:15:11.279 --> 00:15:16.759 take the sacrament, Like you couldn't take the sacrament if you were caught schmast 201 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:20.360 bating. Right now you can literally full on have like a public thresome on 202 00:15:20.399 --> 00:15:26.039 TikTok and you can still just stay because you have a lot of tithing money, 203 00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:28.960 right Like, we'll make exceptions if you pay a lot of tithing. 204 00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:33.279 I know, sometimes I think the kids these days were Mormon. It's like, 205 00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:37.720 you don't know what the fuck we went through. No, like you're 206 00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:41.679 not even a Mormon, like like you you now, you in the eighties 207 00:15:41.720 --> 00:15:48.080 and nineties would have been cast the fuck off and humiliated and scorned consequences. 208 00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:52.960 Oh yeah, yeah, yes, yeah. There was chastisement for everything and 209 00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:58.120 punishment for everything. I mean even like not going to Young Women's ninety percent 210 00:15:58.120 --> 00:16:00.960 of the time in a year, like you have a reviews and shit like 211 00:16:00.080 --> 00:16:06.639 yeah, like there was so much punishment and shame, and especially like in 212 00:16:06.679 --> 00:16:10.399 your ward or the social circle of your church, people like it was all 213 00:16:10.440 --> 00:16:14.320 about using you as example, making you the good person or the bad person. 214 00:16:14.360 --> 00:16:17.120 It was very, very divisive. And now they're like, did you 215 00:16:17.240 --> 00:16:19.720 murder anyone today? No, okay, sure have a seat and here's your 216 00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:23.559 recommend and that shit would never happen before. I kind of hate it. 217 00:16:23.720 --> 00:16:30.440 No, No, I think it's probably because so many people are leaving that 218 00:16:30.519 --> 00:16:32.440 the church is like, well, how are we going to get him to 219 00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:36.679 stay? Well, you stop being so damn rulesy. So I think that's 220 00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:40.279 what they're doing. But I hope that even with that that people will just 221 00:16:40.320 --> 00:16:42.120 be like, I don't I don't need this. Yeah, this isn't for 222 00:16:42.200 --> 00:16:45.159 me. For me, yeah yeah, but you know, some people staying 223 00:16:45.279 --> 00:16:53.240 and whatever, they just leave it in Dan whatever. Exactly cool. So 224 00:16:55.159 --> 00:17:02.840 Airbnb getting checked in seeing everyone super ship were fun. Now there's the situation 225 00:17:03.159 --> 00:17:10.480 of my parents when we moved them from their I don't know, thirty five 226 00:17:10.559 --> 00:17:15.079 hundred four thousand whatever square foot home and Eagle Mountain and kind of in an 227 00:17:15.079 --> 00:17:18.960 emergency to get him out of that house and into a place where they could 228 00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:22.799 get some help, like a senior living center, we had to sell the 229 00:17:22.839 --> 00:17:27.799 house. And so my parents, my mom specifically, get rid of nothing, 230 00:17:29.039 --> 00:17:32.200 got rid of nothing. Oh like, it was like a hoarder house. 231 00:17:32.279 --> 00:17:34.680 Not hoarder house like catshit everywhere, like you'd see on that show Hoarders, 232 00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:38.519 but a hoarderhouse and like boxes and papers and yeah, they kept all 233 00:17:38.559 --> 00:17:42.240 their stuff, yes, everything, and they have traveled the world, so 234 00:17:42.279 --> 00:17:48.480 they always had like trinkets and shit, which great good for them. That 235 00:17:48.519 --> 00:17:52.279 all ended up in the biggest storage unit you can imagine, fucking huge. 236 00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:55.319 And some of you listeners, by the way, came and helped out with 237 00:17:55.400 --> 00:17:59.200 that moving thing a few years ago, and good God, thank you so 238 00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:07.799 much. So storage unit. There's stuff in there that we have talked about. 239 00:18:07.839 --> 00:18:12.079 Well who gets it? And honestly, I don't have This is every 240 00:18:12.079 --> 00:18:21.039 Mormon funeral of old people shit. God, So I don't have any for 241 00:18:21.039 --> 00:18:25.880 some reason, like personal connection to their stuff. I know that probably sounds 242 00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:29.839 weird, Maybe it doesn't, I don't know. I mean, yeah, 243 00:18:30.200 --> 00:18:33.160 there's nothing like, oh I really want moms blah blah blah. I I 244 00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:36.279 don't. And that doesn't mean I don't like her love her. I just 245 00:18:36.319 --> 00:18:40.200 there was not this connection of something that I used every day or that I 246 00:18:40.279 --> 00:18:42.799 you know, the things that I brought back with me in a suitcase were 247 00:18:42.880 --> 00:18:48.759 some nutcrackers from Germany and just like some little figurines I remember playing with when 248 00:18:48.759 --> 00:18:53.480 I was a kid, But like the furniture, don't care, I don't 249 00:18:53.519 --> 00:18:57.680 know. I just that's for some reason, my parents' stuff never had I 250 00:18:57.720 --> 00:19:03.000 didn't connect with it. My grandpa parents things, my dad's parents. Yes, 251 00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:06.000 absolutely I connected with a lot of their stuff. But yeah, my 252 00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:10.720 parents meh. But my other brothers they connected with some things. And my 253 00:19:10.759 --> 00:19:12.640 other brothers meaning Mike and Mark, now David, the oldest brother. Here's 254 00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:18.759 a reminder. We involve David in zero things on purpose, like all of 255 00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:25.559 you have the game plan on purpose? Yes, because he ruins everything everything. 256 00:19:26.039 --> 00:19:29.480 He was the one And I probably talked about this before as my mom 257 00:19:29.519 --> 00:19:33.480 was getting sicker and sicker because you know, Alzheimer's and Parkinson's and old as 258 00:19:33.519 --> 00:19:38.160 fuck. You know, your body needs less calories. You don't feel like 259 00:19:38.200 --> 00:19:42.279 eating you sleep more, you eat less, you eat less. Your appetite 260 00:19:42.440 --> 00:19:45.039 dwindles, so you sleep more, you eat less. Like this is how 261 00:19:45.079 --> 00:19:48.160 you die, right, this is the same reaction. Yeah, unless you 262 00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:53.519 get hit by something or like cancer takes you, you basically die by not 263 00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:57.119 taking in the calories that is needed to support your organs. My Mom's not 264 00:19:57.160 --> 00:20:00.240 going to recover from this, and my dad was not going to rea cover 265 00:20:00.359 --> 00:20:03.359 from being old either. This was this was the way of things. She 266 00:20:03.519 --> 00:20:07.039 was ready to go. She couldn't remember shit anymore, she was constantly shaking, 267 00:20:07.599 --> 00:20:15.559 she would have anxiety attacks. But douchebag David would wanted Mike, who 268 00:20:15.960 --> 00:20:19.599 was power of attorney as far as all things medical for my parents, wanted 269 00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:25.759 Mike to have my mom get a stomach feeding tube, no, to keep 270 00:20:25.799 --> 00:20:32.640 her alive longer. Like why, that's fucking insane. And I think the 271 00:20:32.680 --> 00:20:34.559 only reason why was because David's just a piece of shit and he wants to 272 00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:37.039 have an idea. We should do this and have all of us go, 273 00:20:37.079 --> 00:20:41.039 oh, yeah, great idea, David. So the last few months of 274 00:20:41.079 --> 00:20:45.720 my mom's life were basically David telling her, I'm so sorry they're starving you 275 00:20:45.759 --> 00:20:48.519 to death. Mom, Oh my god, Yeah, that kind of shit. 276 00:20:48.599 --> 00:20:49.839 This is why I hate him. It's not just like he's a mean 277 00:20:49.880 --> 00:20:53.960 brother. No, he's a cruel person. Okay. And then he would 278 00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:56.400 tell my dad the same thing. Dad, I'm so sorry that. You 279 00:20:56.400 --> 00:21:00.960 know, I'm trying so hard to help Mom recover from this, but you 280 00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:03.880 know, Mike and Mark and Shelley just want to pull the plug, like 281 00:21:03.960 --> 00:21:07.279 he said these words. So then my dad's having panic attacks because he also 282 00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:11.920 had dimensions so couldn't quite understand things. So that's just a surface that's David, 283 00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:15.440 right. This is why we don't involve him in things. And he 284 00:21:15.519 --> 00:21:19.559 has he had no right on for any involvement anyway, because he's like nowhere 285 00:21:19.599 --> 00:21:25.519 on any of the paperwork. When my dad was still lucid, he took 286 00:21:25.680 --> 00:21:29.960 David off of anything as far as decision making because he knew, like David's 287 00:21:29.960 --> 00:21:34.319 a fucker, all right. The storage unit. There's so much shit in 288 00:21:34.359 --> 00:21:41.200 the storage unit. And Mark and Mike and I have spent hundreds of hours 289 00:21:41.240 --> 00:21:48.119 of like work with the storage unit, from packing it up, organizing shit, 290 00:21:48.359 --> 00:21:52.839 going through pictures, going through boxes, going like we would fly out, 291 00:21:52.920 --> 00:21:59.279 and spend hours almost on a monthly basis to try to pare down their 292 00:21:59.319 --> 00:22:03.680 shit. Yeah right, And David did nothing, didn't even lift a finger. 293 00:22:03.480 --> 00:22:08.799 We pulled, oh fuck, I don't know how many enormous boxes of 294 00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:12.920 photos I'm sure out of there. It was insane because my mom took put 295 00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:17.480 pictures all the time. She was that annoying grandma and that now you appreciate 296 00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:18.240 because you're like, oh my god, look at this cute picture of my 297 00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:25.079 kid. So we brought all those boxes to the Airbnb and all of the 298 00:22:25.119 --> 00:22:30.559 grandkids, so we're talking like nineteen people plus the grown ups. We spent 299 00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:34.359 like two solid days going through pictures and throwing away ones where we're like, 300 00:22:34.440 --> 00:22:38.640 nobody knows who that is, Like I don't that's a picture of the inside 301 00:22:38.680 --> 00:22:41.759 of my mom's purse, right, Like, just all this shit. And 302 00:22:41.799 --> 00:22:45.960 again David did not help it all. But because we are nice, we 303 00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:49.680 made a pile of pictures that had David in them so that he could have 304 00:22:49.759 --> 00:22:56.000 those. Why because we're nice and I'm kind of over being nice. Then 305 00:22:56.000 --> 00:23:00.160 I took pictures of furniture that was in the storage unit, sent some of 306 00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:03.119 the pictures to David, saying, are you interested in this? Are you 307 00:23:03.160 --> 00:23:04.000 interested that. Oh yeah, yeah, i'll take that. I'll take that, 308 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:06.319 I'll to that. Blah blah, I'll take that. Like all this 309 00:23:06.319 --> 00:23:08.279 stuff, he's gonnake. He's gonna take cool, bro when you're gonna come 310 00:23:08.319 --> 00:23:11.559 get it. Oh well yeah, I'm real busy blah blah blah. Just 311 00:23:12.720 --> 00:23:18.880 of course, this has always been david slight side story here. So David 312 00:23:18.279 --> 00:23:26.319 claimed that one of his employees at his shop stole a bunch of money, 313 00:23:26.519 --> 00:23:29.519 right, and he called like the news station and did all this shit. 314 00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:33.759 Anyway, we knew that he that this was something that David did, not 315 00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:40.079 the employee, because it's he's done this in the past. My brother Mark 316 00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:44.359 actually got a hold of the guy who was accused of it and got the 317 00:23:44.359 --> 00:23:45.519 whole story, and it was like, yeah, of course this is of 318 00:23:45.559 --> 00:23:51.839 course, this is all David. And that guy asked Mark if Mark would 319 00:23:52.559 --> 00:23:56.440 be a character witness against David if this ghost at court, and Mark said 320 00:23:56.599 --> 00:24:02.319 fuck yeah absolutely, because by now Mark just wants to just kill David because 321 00:24:02.359 --> 00:24:06.359 David has caused so many problems and so all this would be was him saying 322 00:24:06.400 --> 00:24:11.079 to a court I know David to have lied about blah blah blah, to 323 00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:14.400 have treated my parents in such a way. You know nothing to do with 324 00:24:14.440 --> 00:24:17.279 the actual case, because Mark doesn't know anything about the case except for what 325 00:24:17.319 --> 00:24:19.960 the news said just about him as a person exactly, And somehow that got 326 00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:25.759 back to David. Now and this is what we're leading into here. We 327 00:24:25.799 --> 00:24:29.279 get the stuff in the storage unit paared down as much as we can, 328 00:24:29.480 --> 00:24:33.039 and we were like, let's just take the big furniture items that David wants. 329 00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:34.720 We'll just put it in the damn U haul. We will drive it 330 00:24:34.759 --> 00:24:38.759 out to his house in Eagle Mountains. We're looking like forty five minutes each 331 00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:44.599 way. We will unload it for him in his garage. Like we're being 332 00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:48.359 nice. May I pause you for a second. Yes, all of you 333 00:24:48.440 --> 00:24:52.000 live out of state and you're coming in state to do all of this. 334 00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:55.759 And he's the one person that lives in state and doesn't lift a finger but 335 00:24:55.880 --> 00:24:59.680 expects you to hand deliver his shit to him. Correct. Oh my god, 336 00:25:00.319 --> 00:25:03.119 he's one of those. Yeah, forever, has been one of those. 337 00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:07.960 So we get it all loaded up and at this time, I think 338 00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:11.599 I texted David and I was like, Hey, we're gonna drop your stuff 339 00:25:11.640 --> 00:25:15.519 off. Between this time and this time. Just make sure we can get 340 00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:18.039 into the garage. We'll put it in your garage. He's like, okay, 341 00:25:18.039 --> 00:25:21.720 well just text me when you're on your way. I'm go' fine. 342 00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:25.799 So the funeral has not even happened yet. By the way, this is 343 00:25:26.359 --> 00:25:27.640 a long drawn as this is like the day before. We'll be fine. 344 00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:33.839 We drive all the way the fuck out there, and I start texting David. 345 00:25:33.880 --> 00:25:37.920 No answer, no answer, no answer, Like seriously, dude, 346 00:25:37.960 --> 00:25:41.000 because I told him between this time and this time. So annoying because he 347 00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:45.400 had said that his step son would be there to open the garage for us 348 00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:48.480 and knock on the door. No one answers, Text, no one's answers, 349 00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:51.000 call, no one answers. I'm telling my brother, and Donna, 350 00:25:51.119 --> 00:25:52.680 by the way, is with us. She's of course, of course, 351 00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:57.599 Donna is helping to move shit that she has no business having to help with. 352 00:25:57.640 --> 00:26:03.960 But she's a fucking amazing human and being, and she's helping move my 353 00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:08.319 parents' shit to my shitty brother's house. Now it's starting to rain, and 354 00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:11.680 so we're like, well, what do we do. We can't get into 355 00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:18.039 the garage, and I'm getting impatient. Mark's getting pissed. Mike's getting like, 356 00:26:18.079 --> 00:26:21.400 we're just all getting pissed. And then David calls me back. He's 357 00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:23.519 like, oh hey, I go hey, we're here, Like, can 358 00:26:23.559 --> 00:26:26.000 you unlock the door? Like, oh, well, I'm not there, 359 00:26:26.640 --> 00:26:30.400 but listen, my wife trying to leave her name out of it, even 360 00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:33.799 though I hate her. My wife's right around the corner. She'll be there, 361 00:26:33.839 --> 00:26:37.279 like in five minutes. I'm like, great, cool, we can. 362 00:26:37.400 --> 00:26:38.359 We'll just start moving stuff for five minutes. He goes, well, 363 00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:42.839 yeah, when she gets there, I'm gonna need you guys to all go 364 00:26:42.920 --> 00:26:49.000 sit in your car. What the fuck exactly? I go, no, 365 00:26:49.000 --> 00:26:53.039 no, uh huh no, Well, she doesn't feel safe having you guys 366 00:26:53.079 --> 00:26:57.480 around. And believe me, this ex wife has caused as much trouble as 367 00:26:57.519 --> 00:27:03.079 David has with my parents and all the lies and all the bullshit. And 368 00:27:03.119 --> 00:27:04.799 I'm like, no, David, no, we're not. No, we 369 00:27:04.839 --> 00:27:11.359 are not. We are dropping your shit off dude at your house. We're 370 00:27:11.400 --> 00:27:18.000 not gonna go sit in the car because your fucking wife has issue with us, 371 00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:21.079 Okay, and it's she has issue with us because of the ship that 372 00:27:21.119 --> 00:27:22.799 he told her, which is not true, and also because she's a lying, 373 00:27:22.839 --> 00:27:26.759 scheming bitch. So David's like, oh, give me a second. 374 00:27:26.759 --> 00:27:29.759 He gets off the phone, and then I tell Mike and Mark and they're 375 00:27:29.799 --> 00:27:32.799 like, oh, you can just say. Esteam starting to come out, 376 00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:37.319 and Donna's just like, dip to do helping push this down here, lift 377 00:27:37.359 --> 00:27:42.519 with my legs. And then David calls back, and now I'm inside of 378 00:27:42.559 --> 00:27:48.920 the truck and Donna's and they're moving stuff and h David's like, okay, 379 00:27:48.039 --> 00:27:51.119 right, well, she's just around the corner, should be right there. 380 00:27:51.799 --> 00:27:53.640 And I go, you know, cool, and he's like, but yeah, 381 00:27:53.680 --> 00:27:57.079 you're gonna have to go sit in the I go, no, this 382 00:27:57.240 --> 00:28:00.880 is fucking crazy. We're not gonna go sit in the car. What is 383 00:28:00.920 --> 00:28:03.319 she afraid of? What? Like? No, what we don't even like 384 00:28:03.359 --> 00:28:07.480 her? Why would we say anything? Well, you know, because Mark 385 00:28:07.599 --> 00:28:11.599 is gonna be a witness against a known felon and just like or a witness 386 00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:18.880 for whatever he said. And I lost my shit. I cannot stand when 387 00:28:18.960 --> 00:28:22.279 David starts spewing his lies. And I'm so protective of especially Mark at this 388 00:28:22.279 --> 00:28:26.119 point, because David has really been a dick to him. And David start 389 00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:33.160 saying this, and I just yell, shot the fuck up like loud, 390 00:28:33.400 --> 00:28:36.759 and everyone kind of stops, and Donna walks past me. She just like 391 00:28:36.799 --> 00:28:40.759 puts her hand on my shoulder and then just keeps moving furniture. Like I 392 00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:45.559 fucking snapped, like are you kidding me? This? So this is the 393 00:28:45.640 --> 00:28:51.759 kind of person that David is is like, doesn't help, can't even bother 394 00:28:51.839 --> 00:28:55.599 to have someone there to open the garage so we can deliver his free furniture, 395 00:28:55.880 --> 00:28:57.519 right fully expects you to do all the work, yeah, and then 396 00:28:57.559 --> 00:29:00.920 wants us to all go sit in the car are I was like, no, 397 00:29:02.119 --> 00:29:03.599 we're just gonna put your stuff out in the rain. Bye. Hang 398 00:29:03.680 --> 00:29:07.000 up. Yeah. He kept trying to call back. I didn't answer. 399 00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:10.200 I'm like fuck you ye. A few minutes later, his step son showed 400 00:29:10.279 --> 00:29:11.279 up, and his step son, I feel bad for him. He just 401 00:29:11.359 --> 00:29:15.480 has a shitty step dad and the shitty mom. And he knew the garage 402 00:29:15.480 --> 00:29:19.000 code and was able to let us in. But so that's like the day 403 00:29:19.039 --> 00:29:22.920 before the funeral. So here we are with this, like, motherfucker. 404 00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:26.240 Wait, did the wife ever show up? Now? Okay, I wish 405 00:29:26.279 --> 00:29:33.799 she would have. She's that one, that one. So that's day. 406 00:29:33.880 --> 00:29:40.119 That's day one of family, you know, in Utah. Next day is 407 00:29:40.759 --> 00:29:47.200 the funeral, and we get there. We get there on time. The 408 00:29:47.240 --> 00:29:49.599 boys are all wearing they're all they've all picked out one of my dad's ties. 409 00:29:49.640 --> 00:29:52.279 He had lots of ties. He was really sweet. I mean, 410 00:29:52.279 --> 00:29:55.799 they all loved my dad, you know, he was he was my dad, 411 00:29:55.799 --> 00:29:59.839 but he was also a grandpa Jay. So I mean, I understand 412 00:29:59.880 --> 00:30:03.079 how that can be. I'm in there and I say hi to David because 413 00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:06.920 I'm nice, you know, I'm like, Hey, what's up? Blah 414 00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:10.839 blah blah. Then I see his wife and I'm gonna be nice because I'm 415 00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:12.359 nice and it's a funeral, and so I go over and I'm like, 416 00:30:12.400 --> 00:30:15.039 hey, how's it going? And I'm just kind of chatting with her and 417 00:30:15.119 --> 00:30:19.319 her mom, who's heir. Mom is so weird too. The whole thing 418 00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:26.960 is just just cea church building, right Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure 419 00:30:26.119 --> 00:30:30.279 is. And then probably, I don't know, fifteen minutes later or so, 420 00:30:30.440 --> 00:30:33.839 I guess, Donna comes up to me. She's like, oh my 421 00:30:33.920 --> 00:30:37.759 god, what what she goes. I just had to practically break up a 422 00:30:37.759 --> 00:30:41.000 fight between Mark and David, Like what are you talking about? You? 423 00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:45.039 I didn't hear any of this, No, I missed the best part. 424 00:30:45.240 --> 00:30:47.680 No, I didn't. The best part's coming, don't you worry. So 425 00:30:47.759 --> 00:30:53.440 apparently what happened was Mark was like trying to fix the VCR that was gonna 426 00:30:53.440 --> 00:30:56.640 play, or a CD player, whatever's gonna play, like pictures of my 427 00:30:56.720 --> 00:31:00.559 dad, and David came over there and just started hounding him about this court 428 00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:03.759 case. Oh can't believe you're gonna stab me in the blah blah blah, 429 00:31:03.839 --> 00:31:06.759 and Mark kept saying, not here, David, not here, David, 430 00:31:06.920 --> 00:31:11.680 not right now, David, And then Donna says, she looks and she 431 00:31:11.720 --> 00:31:17.559 sees Mark and David standing like toe to toe, like belly's touching, red 432 00:31:17.599 --> 00:31:21.599 faced, like about to go at it. Oh shit, and she's yeah, 433 00:31:21.599 --> 00:31:23.480 and she's like, oh shit, what do I do? So her 434 00:31:23.519 --> 00:31:27.000 first thought was I'll go get Shelley, and then quickly she's like, no, 435 00:31:29.079 --> 00:31:32.279 not gonna go get Shelly, because Shelley will be the first to swing 436 00:31:32.359 --> 00:31:37.079 on someone did not go get me. Looked like panic eyed and caught eyes 437 00:31:37.160 --> 00:31:41.480 with Heidi's Mark's wife, and she came over was like, hey, Mark, 438 00:31:41.480 --> 00:31:42.720 come on's go for a walk. Let's let's let's and you know too, 439 00:31:42.759 --> 00:31:47.160 goo away. Bit that's David. He doesn't care that he's at his 440 00:31:47.240 --> 00:31:51.519 dad's funeral in a church. He's just like gonna do what he's gonna do. 441 00:31:52.839 --> 00:31:57.640 Here comes the better part. So there's the open casket viewing, which 442 00:31:57.680 --> 00:32:01.640 was fine, and again I just didn't have like that overwhelming emotion like I 443 00:32:01.680 --> 00:32:05.759 did with my with my mom. You know, I kind of said goodbye 444 00:32:05.799 --> 00:32:08.319 to my dad and that was that. It just and I keep kind of 445 00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:12.920 like waiting for the emotion. But it's been a couple months now and it 446 00:32:13.039 --> 00:32:15.440 just isn't just a different kind of goodbye with him. Yeah, yeah, 447 00:32:15.440 --> 00:32:19.160 I think so. But it kind of sounds like it matched your relationship, 448 00:32:19.240 --> 00:32:22.440 Like your goodbye with your mom matches what your connection with her was, and 449 00:32:22.440 --> 00:32:24.640 you're goodbye with your dad was like, h just this surface. It's a 450 00:32:24.680 --> 00:32:29.559 person who had something to do with your life, but like you didn't have 451 00:32:29.599 --> 00:32:34.279 the same emotional connection to your dad. Yeah, for sure. Of course, 452 00:32:34.319 --> 00:32:37.400 the grandkids were all in tears, and it was again sweet to see 453 00:32:37.400 --> 00:32:40.720 all of my kids comforting each other and the cousins comforting each other. I 454 00:32:40.839 --> 00:32:44.519 talked about in the last episode that I had decided not to speak at my 455 00:32:44.559 --> 00:32:46.720 dad's funeral because I just couldn't come up with what I would say. Yeah, 456 00:32:46.960 --> 00:32:51.759 and that I'm glad that that was the case, because I didn't feel 457 00:32:51.759 --> 00:32:57.559 like really preparing anything. Another thing with planning for the funeral is that Mike 458 00:32:57.559 --> 00:33:00.079 and Mark and I agreed that no, David will not be speaking at this 459 00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:04.200 funeral either, just like we didn't let him speak at my mom's because he's 460 00:33:04.640 --> 00:33:07.839 he's a fucking train wreck. You you just wouldn't know what would happen, 461 00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:13.720 no idea. So Mike told David, hey, uh, you know, 462 00:33:13.759 --> 00:33:15.480 before Dad passed, he mentioned that he would love to have you do the 463 00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:23.119 family prayer there in the family room just after the viewing, which was a 464 00:33:23.119 --> 00:33:24.960 lot And Mike told me, He's like, well, that's a lie. 465 00:33:25.039 --> 00:33:28.400 Dad didn't say anything, but there's no way that we are going to let 466 00:33:28.519 --> 00:33:31.079 him have the pulpit do anything else. Yeah. No, Well, and 467 00:33:31.160 --> 00:33:34.720 isn't the family prayer. It's been a minute since I've been to a Mormon 468 00:33:34.799 --> 00:33:38.799 funeral, but the family prayer is just your family with the casket before you 469 00:33:38.839 --> 00:33:43.319 close it to like bless him in the dirt so you can rise up again. 470 00:33:43.480 --> 00:33:45.759 Isn't that kind of what that's about? Like, that's not an everybody 471 00:33:45.400 --> 00:33:49.559 thing, is it. Yeah, well there were plenty of people there that 472 00:33:49.599 --> 00:33:52.319 I didn't recognize. They don't like kick people out. Okay, I think 473 00:33:52.359 --> 00:33:54.640 the bishop had invited people to leave if they wanted. But yeah, it's 474 00:33:55.160 --> 00:33:59.000 not like you know, but like the purpose of the family prayer is like 475 00:33:59.319 --> 00:34:01.440 a goodbye prayer to the dead person, right literally, yes, right, 476 00:34:01.599 --> 00:34:07.039 Okay, it's time for David to have the microphone and do the goodbye prayer. 477 00:34:07.880 --> 00:34:12.519 Yes, oh my god, Oh my fucking god. So he did 478 00:34:12.559 --> 00:34:16.519 the goodbye prayer for my mom and it was weird, but it was okay. 479 00:34:16.559 --> 00:34:20.360 I mean, it wasn't more weird than what we had expected. You 480 00:34:20.400 --> 00:34:22.440 know. At the end of the prayer, he was like, thank you, 481 00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:25.239 mother, thank you, thank you. It was just like what the 482 00:34:25.239 --> 00:34:30.599 fuck are you doing? Dude? Anyway, but that was nothing compared to 483 00:34:30.760 --> 00:34:32.880 what I'm about to explain to you all. Wait, do we all need 484 00:34:32.920 --> 00:34:35.880 to take a shot before we hear this story. I feel like this is 485 00:34:36.079 --> 00:34:40.519 it's so fucking good. It's it's it's like fucking wow, like you got 486 00:34:40.599 --> 00:34:47.159 some malls, dude. So he has the microphone and there's a dear little 487 00:34:47.239 --> 00:34:52.519 church guy holding the like a speaker so that everyone can hear, and David 488 00:34:52.519 --> 00:34:55.079 starts the prayer, and he starts it off relatively normal with your whole Mormon 489 00:34:55.199 --> 00:34:58.559 like the way you're supposed to because his Mormons, you're supposed to pray to 490 00:34:58.559 --> 00:35:02.400 heavenly Father. That's it, right. But then after saying you know, 491 00:35:02.840 --> 00:35:07.400 thank you Father, blah blah lah shit, he starts like he's talking to 492 00:35:07.480 --> 00:35:10.920 my dad, which gets really weird because you know, we don't pray to 493 00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:16.519 people. But he's like, Dad, I'll never this is the middle of 494 00:35:16.559 --> 00:35:22.639 prayer. I'll never forget the times we spent fishing and how I learned how 495 00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:30.199 to And we're thinking you made everything miserable, bro, Like all these good 496 00:35:30.239 --> 00:35:35.519 times you're claiming you had with Dad, you caused fights between everyone your whole 497 00:35:35.559 --> 00:35:39.760 fucking life. None of my family vacations were good because of you, dude, 498 00:35:40.239 --> 00:35:44.400 and Mark will see the exact same thing, and so will Mike, 499 00:35:44.519 --> 00:35:50.880 because you ruined everything. So imagine David, He's standing up there next to 500 00:35:50.920 --> 00:35:54.840 my dead dad praying and saying weird shit. And then there's all of the 501 00:35:54.880 --> 00:35:59.360 grandkids, both Mormon and not Mormon, like in this big group in the 502 00:35:59.360 --> 00:36:01.760 middle, and then Donna and I are kind of sitting on the side in 503 00:36:01.880 --> 00:36:07.239 front, but we can see all of the grandkids and I watched them slowly, 504 00:36:07.760 --> 00:36:12.639 like one a time, like open their eyes and start looking at each 505 00:36:12.679 --> 00:36:17.280 other of like holy shit. And Mark is like sitting right in the front 506 00:36:17.360 --> 00:36:20.480 of the kids. He's like right, and I can see Mark just like 507 00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:24.400 turning red, like he wants to kill people. Because David's just he's using 508 00:36:24.440 --> 00:36:30.719 his prayer as a platform to say things. Well, he's like creating this 509 00:36:30.840 --> 00:36:32.840 narrative on the way out the door that he gets to have like the last 510 00:36:32.840 --> 00:36:37.159 word on what their relationship was, and he can like totally be in charge 511 00:36:37.199 --> 00:36:40.320 of creating that picture. That is exactly what he's doing. And he's trying 512 00:36:40.320 --> 00:36:44.800 to make it look like he was this great son. And you know, 513 00:36:45.320 --> 00:36:50.599 it was so like frustrating that we couldn't just throw shit at him. But 514 00:36:50.760 --> 00:36:52.079 it gets better. Don't worry. Don't worry. If he'd ended it with 515 00:36:52.199 --> 00:36:55.239 that, it had been like, you know, there's David again. Then 516 00:36:55.320 --> 00:37:00.679 he starts saying because a lot of it was a lot of the hardship between 517 00:37:00.679 --> 00:37:05.360 the family. There at the end was David, David's wife Mandy, whatever 518 00:37:05.400 --> 00:37:07.480 it's for a fucking name, Mandy. She's not a good person. Okay, 519 00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:15.000 Yeah, he starts saying in this prayer to my dad somehow I don't 520 00:37:15.079 --> 00:37:20.920 know, and or he'll say and Heavenly Father. We knowest he's trying to 521 00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:25.159 use like his church words. We know it's that my dad loved Mandy and 522 00:37:25.320 --> 00:37:34.599 blessed our marriage. Like what the fuck you want to know? It was 523 00:37:35.039 --> 00:37:40.039 so bizarre, And again we're looking at each other, and then he starts 524 00:37:40.079 --> 00:37:47.559 talking shit about like how it's important to be kind, just trying to act 525 00:37:47.679 --> 00:37:54.960 like he's the most amazing, righteous, wonderful person and he's like a father. 526 00:37:55.119 --> 00:37:59.519 I am sorry I couldn't help you more in your last days because of 527 00:37:59.559 --> 00:38:02.480 things that I wasn't permitted to do. Just throwing all the shit out there 528 00:38:02.519 --> 00:38:07.079 in a fucking prayer, in a fucking prayer, and I see Mark's face 529 00:38:07.119 --> 00:38:13.360 getting more and more red. I'm like, dude, the throwdown might not 530 00:38:13.440 --> 00:38:15.320 have happened out in the foyer, but this shit might go down in front 531 00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:20.800 of my dad. Again, the cousins are just kind of looking at each 532 00:38:20.800 --> 00:38:23.559 other and sort of shrugging. David finishes up and the names he just christ 533 00:38:23.639 --> 00:38:28.559 him. Man, everyone's relieved, right, dude tries to take the microphone 534 00:38:28.559 --> 00:38:34.320 back. David says, I'm not done. Oh shit. He gets out 535 00:38:34.360 --> 00:38:38.440 his phone and he pushes play on it, holds the phone up to the 536 00:38:38.480 --> 00:38:46.679 microphone, and a commercial starts to play. And the best part it's a 537 00:38:46.840 --> 00:38:55.679 fucking coffee commercial. So he's trying to play a song from Spotify, but 538 00:38:55.719 --> 00:39:06.079 he's too fucking cheap. He's too fucking cheap to pay for premium service or 539 00:39:06.119 --> 00:39:10.000 to make a recording to play whatever song he has in mind. So commercial 540 00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:17.800 comes on first and it's for fucking coffee, and I am dying. I'm 541 00:39:17.840 --> 00:39:24.360 like, oh my god, because I'm realizing now what's happening. And then 542 00:39:24.559 --> 00:39:27.960 the commercial is done, and of course I have to whisper to Donna real 543 00:39:28.039 --> 00:39:30.199 quick, like I have to tell you why this is so horrible, like 544 00:39:30.320 --> 00:39:32.280 afterwards, because she's like, that's weird. I'm like, no, it's 545 00:39:32.360 --> 00:39:37.679 not just weird, it's fucking amazing. Actually it's ironic. Yes, yeah, 546 00:39:37.760 --> 00:39:42.480 yeah. So coffee commercial stops and David's like, oh, you know, 547 00:39:42.679 --> 00:39:45.199 I've got it, paid it not have commercials. He's just like it's 548 00:39:45.320 --> 00:39:51.880 like he's on a fair sage. Yes, yes, thank you yes, 549 00:39:52.159 --> 00:39:58.440 So this song starts playing and hits. He's playing this song by Tim McGraw. 550 00:40:00.119 --> 00:40:02.719 By the way, can I just say my dad would have been horrified 551 00:40:02.760 --> 00:40:08.599 if anyone played anything but like religious type music at his funeral. Yeah, 552 00:40:08.679 --> 00:40:13.679 because Mormons don't do that. They don't, especially not my dad's type of 553 00:40:13.679 --> 00:40:17.719 Mormon. So he starts playing the call the song Humble and Kind by Tim 554 00:40:17.760 --> 00:40:22.119 McGrath. The music comes on and we're just all thinking what the fuck? 555 00:40:22.280 --> 00:40:27.960 And even Mandy the wife has looked like. He gets her by the hand 556 00:40:28.320 --> 00:40:32.559 and forces her to stand up and kind of sway dance with him. No, 557 00:40:32.760 --> 00:40:36.639 okay, my dead dad is still there in front of the cast. 558 00:40:36.920 --> 00:40:44.880 Yes, we're all in this relief society room. It's so bad, I'm 559 00:40:44.920 --> 00:40:52.639 excommunicating him right now. What oh like Mormon or not? Nobody does nobody 560 00:40:52.719 --> 00:40:58.119 dances in front of a fucking casket. Dude, No, noah, noah. 561 00:40:58.199 --> 00:41:02.239 It was so uncomfortable. But it gets worse when it gets to the 562 00:41:02.320 --> 00:41:07.119 part where it says, always stay humble and kind. I'm looking at the 563 00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:13.280 lyrics here. He sings those words out loud into the microphone while he's sway 564 00:41:13.519 --> 00:41:17.480 and by now it's like the cousins can't hold it in. These kids, 565 00:41:17.480 --> 00:41:22.280 all of my nieces and nephews. Oh god, I don't remember who it 566 00:41:22.480 --> 00:41:27.480 was. I think it was Donna. Donna was worried because she saw Courtney 567 00:41:27.880 --> 00:41:30.760 and Jenny. Jenny's my daughter, Courtney's her bestie, Courtney's super Mormon, 568 00:41:31.039 --> 00:41:35.559 Jenny not Mormon at all. They had turned their back toward the back row, 569 00:41:35.639 --> 00:41:38.559 and Donna felt so bad for them because she saw like like their their 570 00:41:38.559 --> 00:41:42.079 shoulders were shaking, like they were bawling, and she's like, oh, 571 00:41:42.159 --> 00:41:45.960 poor them. But then she sees them turn around. They are laughing so 572 00:41:45.119 --> 00:41:52.039 hard and like trying not to make sounds, like all all nineteen grandkids are 573 00:41:52.239 --> 00:42:00.719 like huddled up almost together to protect themselves from this wacky ass shit that's going 574 00:42:00.760 --> 00:42:06.360 on. There's the part in the song that says don't steal, don't cheat, 575 00:42:06.400 --> 00:42:09.800 and don't lie, and you know, because David is hit a thief 576 00:42:09.880 --> 00:42:15.119 in all of those things, he says them out loud with the nut now 577 00:42:15.119 --> 00:42:20.000 he's not with the singing voice. He just says, don't steal, don't 578 00:42:20.079 --> 00:42:25.719 cheat, don't lie, Like what the fuck? Because he's fucking nuts. 579 00:42:28.039 --> 00:42:32.039 He is fucking nuts and everybody that's in the funeral thing, like not just 580 00:42:32.079 --> 00:42:36.000 your family, but all the people who stayed are watching this whole show. 581 00:42:36.119 --> 00:42:39.000 Yeah, this shit show, which I love because he was trying to make 582 00:42:39.119 --> 00:42:44.800 himself look like like great, but he was just and it's crazy. He 583 00:42:44.800 --> 00:42:50.280 came no, it came running, running, and screaming. Yeah. And 584 00:42:50.320 --> 00:42:53.679 by the way, this song is like so fucking long. It seemed like 585 00:42:53.719 --> 00:42:58.960 it was easily a seven minute song. It kept going yeah and going, 586 00:42:59.239 --> 00:43:01.559 and then you think it was done and it wasn't, and there was more 587 00:43:01.599 --> 00:43:07.119 singing. And now Donna's trying not to laugh because because Donna telling me, 588 00:43:07.119 --> 00:43:09.119 she's like, every time I look at your kids and all the grandkids, 589 00:43:09.119 --> 00:43:13.039 they're laughing, and so I'm trying not to laugh. But like if anyone 590 00:43:13.039 --> 00:43:15.480 here should not be laughing, it's me, Like I'm the newest I should 591 00:43:15.519 --> 00:43:20.360 not be laughing, and like we were all fucking laughing. It was just 592 00:43:21.239 --> 00:43:25.079 like it was unbelievable. It was it was like you could you didn't even 593 00:43:25.159 --> 00:43:28.159 know how to react, like, well, you don't want to go take 594 00:43:28.159 --> 00:43:30.639 the microphone from him, but you kind of do, but you kind of 595 00:43:30.679 --> 00:43:35.400 don't what's appropriate. You just have to let it ride. You just have 596 00:43:35.480 --> 00:43:37.199 to let it, like was the bishop in there and everything, because I 597 00:43:37.199 --> 00:43:40.800 feel like that's something that normally, like back in our day, if you 598 00:43:42.079 --> 00:43:44.880 said something wrong for the pulpit, or if you want off I stop it, 599 00:43:45.280 --> 00:43:47.119 or you gave wrong answers in class, they would literally turn off the 600 00:43:47.119 --> 00:43:51.400 microphone or like put their hand on you and like pull you away or whatever. 601 00:43:51.639 --> 00:43:54.960 Like they didn't just let the crazy fly. It feels like something especially 602 00:43:55.000 --> 00:43:59.400 in a funeral setting, they'd be like, maybe this isn't the time for 603 00:43:59.440 --> 00:44:04.920 this is uh, I think everybody, that's how you know the church isn't 604 00:44:04.920 --> 00:44:07.719 true because he didn't do it. That's right. No lightning came down and 605 00:44:07.760 --> 00:44:12.840 like zapp the fuck out of him spirit a discernment. Oh God, so 606 00:44:13.079 --> 00:44:17.719 fucking bad this. And by the way that I would like to thank my 607 00:44:17.760 --> 00:44:22.079 brother David for really bonding all of my nieces and nephews and kids together because 608 00:44:22.119 --> 00:44:27.320 this is something that they still talk about. There's so many inside jokes now 609 00:44:27.360 --> 00:44:32.519 about this shit. It's so great. Anyway, So the song finally ends 610 00:44:32.559 --> 00:44:37.840 and he says like thank you or whatever and kisses his wife. I'm like, 611 00:44:37.840 --> 00:44:42.840 he's just so nasty, and the dude takes the microphone, takes the 612 00:44:42.840 --> 00:44:45.360 thing, goes and sits down. So now it's time that everyone who go 613 00:44:45.400 --> 00:44:47.400 back up and say their last goodbyes before they close the casket. But now 614 00:44:47.519 --> 00:44:52.960 the feeling is so weird. So the grandkids are going up to say goodbye 615 00:44:52.960 --> 00:44:55.320 to Grandpa, but they're kind of looking at each other like what's going on, 616 00:44:55.519 --> 00:44:59.960 Like I don't know how to feel right now, So they kind of 617 00:45:00.079 --> 00:45:04.480 calm down and they're saying good bye to Grandpa. And then David gets up 618 00:45:04.519 --> 00:45:07.679 again and goes to the middle of the room and it's like, excuse me, 619 00:45:07.719 --> 00:45:10.679 sorry, I forgot to say something like the kids are now crying about 620 00:45:10.719 --> 00:45:15.480 Grandpa and you are now saying I forgot to say something like what the fuck, 621 00:45:15.599 --> 00:45:20.800 dude, be done? And he says, my dad would want you 622 00:45:20.840 --> 00:45:24.320 all to know that your wife is the most special person and you should hold 623 00:45:24.360 --> 00:45:34.480 your wife dear and always put them first. So fucking weird. So he's 624 00:45:34.639 --> 00:45:37.400 just weird. He's not okay up here. He's not right. And I 625 00:45:37.400 --> 00:45:40.280 don't mean that as a disrespect to people who suffer from mental illness, but 626 00:45:40.360 --> 00:45:45.320 he's he's he's just he's a motherfucker, like he's just not a good person. 627 00:45:45.679 --> 00:45:50.719 Yeah, so yeah, all of that happened. Then we had the 628 00:45:50.760 --> 00:45:53.800 regular Ask funeral. It was beautiful. It was nice that I just would 629 00:45:53.840 --> 00:45:58.480 sit there. My brothers did a great job talking well, Mike and Mark, 630 00:45:58.519 --> 00:46:00.679 great job talking to my dad was good. The music was fantastic. 631 00:46:01.079 --> 00:46:07.559 The lesbian sisters I was going to ask it was. It was amazing. 632 00:46:07.599 --> 00:46:13.880 And afterward, actually Mark and Mike both went up and found Kirsten and Ann 633 00:46:13.960 --> 00:46:15.719 and gave him hugs and said, thank you so much. Do you want 634 00:46:15.760 --> 00:46:19.239 to do? You want to come to the Airbnb later and hang out like 635 00:46:19.280 --> 00:46:22.880 they they're they're good people, they really are. But let me back up 636 00:46:22.920 --> 00:46:29.960 just a little bit really quickly. One of my happiest moments was when I 637 00:46:30.119 --> 00:46:34.079 was just buzzing around, you know, greeting people and stuff, and Donna 638 00:46:34.519 --> 00:46:37.559 was sitting or Donna said she saw Cassidy just kind of sitting there in one 639 00:46:37.599 --> 00:46:39.400 of the rows, and so she sat down next. He was just kind 640 00:46:39.400 --> 00:46:45.039 of chatting with Cassidy, and then this older couple comes in and starts talking 641 00:46:45.039 --> 00:46:47.159 to Cassidy was like, oh hi, Cassy, how are you? And 642 00:46:47.199 --> 00:46:52.840 they hugged and and this is Donna relaying this this story to me, and 643 00:46:52.880 --> 00:46:57.400 then the woman asked Cassie, so, so who is this you got sitting 644 00:46:57.480 --> 00:47:00.440 next to you? And Cassie's like, this is my mom's girl friend, 645 00:47:00.559 --> 00:47:10.559 Donna that that couple was Brent's parents, my ex husband's parents. Nope, 646 00:47:12.880 --> 00:47:14.840 you know what, I think the church is true. Now I think it 647 00:47:14.960 --> 00:47:19.719 is. I think it is. I think it is. I love that. 648 00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:22.760 It wouldn't even have crossed my daughter's mind to be like, oh, 649 00:47:23.199 --> 00:47:27.880 that should be weird. No, she was like all proud and happy. 650 00:47:27.920 --> 00:47:32.599 Oh, this is my mom's girlfriend. Donna like yay, So I love 651 00:47:32.679 --> 00:47:37.320 that. Yay. I'm so happy. You don't have to hide your light 652 00:47:37.400 --> 00:47:43.800 under a bushel anymore. Right, all right, let's wrap up this funeral. 653 00:47:43.840 --> 00:47:50.840 So funeral happened, then the eating portion happened, and then was the 654 00:47:50.880 --> 00:47:55.159 gravesite service. So I was in one car with Donna and a handful of 655 00:47:55.239 --> 00:48:00.840 kids, and we were headed toward the grave site. And I had forgotten 656 00:48:00.880 --> 00:48:04.000 to bring stickers to bling out my dad's casket because we decided, well, 657 00:48:04.039 --> 00:48:07.559 let's put let's let the grandkids decorate his casket too, because we did that 658 00:48:07.559 --> 00:48:09.400 for Grandma. Yeah, why not? So it took me a minute to 659 00:48:09.400 --> 00:48:14.199 find him, so now I'm running slightly late. And when I got there, 660 00:48:14.880 --> 00:48:16.719 it was like it was about to start and I literally just like like 661 00:48:17.079 --> 00:48:22.800 slit in on the lawn. I might have landed on someone's graystone. I 662 00:48:22.840 --> 00:48:24.239 don't know, but everyone was like kind of looking like, oh my gosh, 663 00:48:24.320 --> 00:48:28.599 well Shelley's here, which cracked me up. We get out and the 664 00:48:28.599 --> 00:48:32.000 bagpipe start playing, so we'd hired a bagpipe player, and it was amazing 665 00:48:32.159 --> 00:48:42.360 for your Scottish heritage, yes, my Scottish reminder of those of you who 666 00:48:42.360 --> 00:48:45.440 don't remember. In the last episode, I talked about how my dad was 667 00:48:45.480 --> 00:48:50.239 so proud of our Scottish heritage, and then when I did a DNA test, 668 00:48:50.280 --> 00:48:52.599 we were not Scottish at all, and I didn't have the heart to 669 00:48:52.679 --> 00:48:57.159 tell him because it's so proud. So fuck. Yeah. They were bagpipes. 670 00:48:59.079 --> 00:49:04.039 Yeah, paperback, but that was beautiful. And he's as a military 671 00:49:04.159 --> 00:49:08.079 veteran and so they did like the what's it called the twenty one gun salute 672 00:49:08.159 --> 00:49:10.400 or what have you. I mean, the whole thing was beautiful. It 673 00:49:10.440 --> 00:49:16.000 really was just very moving, very touching. I'd never been to a military 674 00:49:16.000 --> 00:49:20.920 funeral and regardless of how you feel about the military, it doesn't matter that. 675 00:49:21.119 --> 00:49:23.880 For me, there was just something I don't know, just seeing like 676 00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:29.880 these old ass veterans shaking hands and just the whole because my dad would have 677 00:49:29.920 --> 00:49:31.280 loved that. You know, I would not want that shit at mine, 678 00:49:31.280 --> 00:49:35.239 of course, but my dad would have loved that. The bagpipes was just 679 00:49:35.280 --> 00:49:39.960 amazing. One thing that David managed to fuck up was all of the kids. 680 00:49:42.079 --> 00:49:45.199 So myself, David, Mike, and Mark, we all received a 681 00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:50.880 flag, an American flag. It was a yeah, and David was pissed 682 00:49:50.960 --> 00:49:55.880 because he wasn't handed the flag first. I'm like, are you like? 683 00:49:55.960 --> 00:50:01.800 He was visibly angry. And so after after the twenty one gun salute thing, 684 00:50:01.840 --> 00:50:07.760 and they bring you like spent shells, well just to keep spent rifle 685 00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:10.360 shells, and they come back with like a handful of just like I don't 686 00:50:10.400 --> 00:50:13.400 know, seven or eight of them, I don't know, and David grabs 687 00:50:13.440 --> 00:50:17.440 all of them, all of them. Yeah, And so Mark whispers to 688 00:50:17.519 --> 00:50:21.239 me, He's like, oh, I'm gonna I'm getting those damn bullets back. 689 00:50:21.280 --> 00:50:24.920 I'm like, David just just causes problems, constantly causing problems. And 690 00:50:24.920 --> 00:50:30.480 then the part that I didn't see was that afterward, whenever it was all 691 00:50:30.519 --> 00:50:34.559 said and done, and people were just kind of like talking, David starts 692 00:50:34.639 --> 00:50:37.119 following Mark around and trying to start shit with him about this court case, 693 00:50:38.039 --> 00:50:43.760 and Mark's like, not here, not now, not here, not now. 694 00:50:44.079 --> 00:50:45.039 To the point where I think it was Mike finally had to go over 695 00:50:45.079 --> 00:50:49.920 and was like, dude, just leave, just go leave, And so 696 00:50:50.000 --> 00:50:52.880 he left with this Dave. Yeah, like ask him to leave the cemetery. 697 00:50:53.199 --> 00:50:59.000 Yes, yeah, yeah, that's that's my sibling. But the kids 698 00:50:59.039 --> 00:51:01.920 did a great job. They decorated the casket. I'll throw some pictures up 699 00:51:01.920 --> 00:51:07.239 on Patreon of that. I mean, all in all, it was just 700 00:51:07.599 --> 00:51:10.639 it really was a good funeral, with of course the great story to tell 701 00:51:10.639 --> 00:51:20.159 about freaking David taking over the family prayer. Yeah, can you believe? 702 00:51:20.159 --> 00:51:22.239 I mean I can't, I can, and I can't believe it, but 703 00:51:22.280 --> 00:51:27.119 I also can because I know David, and it's just like honestly, Well, 704 00:51:27.159 --> 00:51:29.440 then and then after the funeral, when we all got back, it 705 00:51:29.559 --> 00:51:32.159 was like we had to all sit there and decompress and like talk about what 706 00:51:32.400 --> 00:51:39.360 had just happened, yeah, which was like insane. Well, and the 707 00:51:39.400 --> 00:51:45.960 fact that that like shadowed over everything, like managing his behavior and like watching 708 00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:49.719 him to see what he was going to do next, like the trauma response 709 00:51:49.760 --> 00:51:53.119 of doing all that kind of stuff. That's and he I'm sure believes that 710 00:51:53.599 --> 00:51:59.360 he did the right thing. He was righteous in his choices because he's super 711 00:51:59.400 --> 00:52:01.920 Mormon, right, well, he pretends to be when he needs to. 712 00:52:02.079 --> 00:52:07.519 That's I still gotcha. But like, even not being Mormon for so long, 713 00:52:07.639 --> 00:52:09.559 how what year did you leave the church? I don't remember this. 714 00:52:10.639 --> 00:52:15.159 I was forty and I'm forty nine now I was like forty one, so 715 00:52:15.159 --> 00:52:19.719 I don't know, eight eight years. So even though roughly you haven't been 716 00:52:19.760 --> 00:52:22.519 a member and you don't do this stuff, you still know what the like 717 00:52:22.679 --> 00:52:27.880 criteria are, Like you still know what the expected behaviors are in places even 718 00:52:27.880 --> 00:52:30.679 if you were Mormon, you don't do shit like that at a funeral, 719 00:52:30.920 --> 00:52:35.679 But the fact that you were all raised Mormon and he's Mormon quotation marks and 720 00:52:35.679 --> 00:52:38.920 then still chose to do those behaviors in those spaces, Like I would not 721 00:52:39.000 --> 00:52:42.880 even do that, and I don't care for anything about Mormonism, but I 722 00:52:42.880 --> 00:52:47.159 would never like overtly disrespect an entire environment. That's meant for somebody else like 723 00:52:47.199 --> 00:52:51.639 that. But that's been David's entire life. I damn always about him, 724 00:52:52.079 --> 00:52:54.639 always about him. But yeah, again, I have to say that this 725 00:52:54.679 --> 00:53:00.559 has given us more inside jokes as a family than could ever ever wish for. 726 00:53:01.679 --> 00:53:06.320 Like literally, in twenty years, your your nieces and nephews with your 727 00:53:06.400 --> 00:53:09.119 kids are just gonna be like you remember that one fucking time? Oh yeah, 728 00:53:09.159 --> 00:53:14.320 Oh well, I saw Mark and Heidi's kids just last weekend in Las 729 00:53:14.400 --> 00:53:17.039 Vegas for a wedding and we were we were joking about it. We're like, 730 00:53:17.079 --> 00:53:21.800 who's gonna Who's gonna play the Tim mcgrass song at the wedding? Like 731 00:53:21.960 --> 00:53:23.760 of course we're you know how like when you would leave and I don't know 732 00:53:23.760 --> 00:53:27.440 if this is a Mormon culture thing or whatever, you would also say like 733 00:53:27.800 --> 00:53:30.039 remember who you are and what you stand for or whatever. Now you just 734 00:53:30.079 --> 00:53:34.480 gotta be like I always be humble and kind. That just has to be, 735 00:53:34.960 --> 00:53:37.679 Like your Christmas card needs to have that, Like you guys got to 736 00:53:37.760 --> 00:53:39.480 use this for a hot minute, just to like y put it to the 737 00:53:39.480 --> 00:53:44.119 other side of wackado, like the funny, appreciative side instead of like the 738 00:53:44.360 --> 00:53:46.800 traumatic. I can't believe they did that at a funeral. Old side this 739 00:53:46.880 --> 00:53:52.079 big don't forget to hold your wives, make them number one. Mm hmmm, 740 00:53:52.440 --> 00:53:55.280 fucking as. I was really hoping, I'm not gonna lie, I'm 741 00:53:55.280 --> 00:53:59.920 gonna give you a confessional. I was really hoping there was an actual fist 742 00:54:00.079 --> 00:54:02.920 fight, and I imagine Donna like in the middle, like using her arms 743 00:54:02.920 --> 00:54:07.320 to like separate these big men and being like not today, and they were 744 00:54:07.320 --> 00:54:08.920 just like going at it with each other. Because the cliffhanger, I was 745 00:54:08.920 --> 00:54:12.559 like, Oh, there's gonna be there's some physicality. There's got to be 746 00:54:12.559 --> 00:54:17.679 an actual fight happening. Well, sorry to disappoint that there wasn't a fight 747 00:54:17.719 --> 00:54:22.039 at my dad's funeral. Yeah no, but there was some creepy ass weird 748 00:54:22.039 --> 00:54:27.880 song singing. And you know, gentle David did his best. He did 749 00:54:27.880 --> 00:54:32.400 his best to ruin everything without shit. I know, I know I have 750 00:54:32.519 --> 00:54:38.239 not heard a word from him since, so yay, I will maybe a 751 00:54:39.039 --> 00:54:42.719 yeah, we can we can help. Well, and you guys don't really 752 00:54:42.719 --> 00:54:47.519 have any reason to keep connection to him or his family. Nope, nope, 753 00:54:47.559 --> 00:54:54.599 not a one. Right, I'll find it. I'm trying to think. 754 00:54:54.719 --> 00:54:57.559 I mean, I guess that was about it for the funeral. The 755 00:54:57.599 --> 00:55:00.480 rest of the time was just hanging out and the kids playing, and you 756 00:55:00.480 --> 00:55:04.440 know, it was good, It was really really good. But yeah, 757 00:55:04.559 --> 00:55:07.239 that's it. Wrap it up. Parents are gone. Fucking weird, oh 758 00:55:07.320 --> 00:55:10.320 weird. Well, and you probably have the same thing like you did with 759 00:55:10.360 --> 00:55:15.360 the last one, where when you listen to this one, like even though 760 00:55:15.360 --> 00:55:17.639 this one's more on the side of the you won't fucking believe this part, 761 00:55:17.960 --> 00:55:23.280 like right, the reminder of it being what your new reality is. Yeah, 762 00:55:23.679 --> 00:55:29.400 yeah, it's definitely interesting. Yeah, so there was again, So 763 00:55:29.440 --> 00:55:31.360 that was my mom had passed, and then it was I think six months 764 00:55:31.440 --> 00:55:36.840 later my uncle, and then my dad like a few days later. Yeah, 765 00:55:36.920 --> 00:55:39.639 right, because that whole thing. And then my dad's sister died a 766 00:55:39.679 --> 00:55:49.119 few weeks after he passed, and then his uh stepsister just passed away last 767 00:55:49.199 --> 00:55:54.639 week, and his step stepsister's husband just passed away today. So basically everyone's 768 00:55:54.760 --> 00:55:58.719 dying. I know. It's fucking crazy. It's fucking crazy. It's like 769 00:55:58.760 --> 00:56:01.480 all your aunts and uncles are dying. Yeah, there's one left, my 770 00:56:01.519 --> 00:56:06.880 God and the one that's left, uncle Mike. He actually spoke at the 771 00:56:06.920 --> 00:56:09.440 funeral and we were worried because dude, like you just don't know because he's 772 00:56:09.480 --> 00:56:14.679 super old. But he was awesome. He was Oh good, Let's keep 773 00:56:14.760 --> 00:56:20.400 him around for a while. Then let's do let's let's let's do that shit. 774 00:56:21.000 --> 00:56:25.880 That's it, they're dead. Yeah, that's a lot though, Like 775 00:56:25.960 --> 00:56:30.239 that's a whole chapter of your life that is just closed. Yeah. I'll 776 00:56:30.280 --> 00:56:34.239 probably sit and think about this for a while after we're after we're done with 777 00:56:34.280 --> 00:56:37.639 the recording. Yeah, it's big. I'm glad you share with everybody. 778 00:56:37.639 --> 00:56:40.960 It normalizes all the weird shit. I mean, not normalizing weird things, 779 00:56:40.960 --> 00:56:45.679 but like talking about hard conversations and grief and stuff, because that's one of 780 00:56:45.679 --> 00:56:52.119 the other things about in my opinion, leaving Mormonism is we talked about this 781 00:56:52.159 --> 00:56:53.920 at the last podcast, like you're never allowed to have bad feelings. You're 782 00:56:53.920 --> 00:56:58.800 not supposed to express anger, everything like that is satan and bad, and 783 00:56:58.840 --> 00:57:02.280 so you're never taught how to manage grief at that level or like the feelings 784 00:57:02.320 --> 00:57:08.039 that you have with your siblings, and so like having conversations about uncomfortable emotional 785 00:57:08.079 --> 00:57:13.079 things or big things like that was I don't ever feel like that was allowed 786 00:57:13.559 --> 00:57:17.800 or something like a skill set you were taught in church of how to manage 787 00:57:17.840 --> 00:57:22.760 those relationships and emotions. So I love talking about the weird shit and just 788 00:57:22.760 --> 00:57:24.440 saying things and being like, hey, we're just gonna put this shit out 789 00:57:24.440 --> 00:57:29.559 there, and I think it's on to talk about it. Yeah. Yeah, 790 00:57:30.360 --> 00:57:34.639 I feel like in Mormonism, like emotions aren't even talked about, Like 791 00:57:34.719 --> 00:57:38.559 there's there's just not a platform, you know, there's no I wasn't taught 792 00:57:38.559 --> 00:57:43.840 how to process any kind of emotions, and you know, rais being raised 793 00:57:43.880 --> 00:57:50.039 a very patriarchal family. Emotions were bad, they were weak. Yeah, 794 00:57:50.159 --> 00:57:53.960 so I was not prepared for an emotional life, yeah, to kind of 795 00:57:54.360 --> 00:57:58.800 jump into that shit. Well, and even with funerals, like you're only 796 00:57:58.840 --> 00:58:02.119 supposed to be sad for like this much time because they're in a better place 797 00:58:02.360 --> 00:58:07.280 or they're you know, they're with God now, Like you're not even allowed 798 00:58:07.280 --> 00:58:13.760 to be sad about somebody dying. And that even happens with Like there's this 799 00:58:13.880 --> 00:58:19.360 thing going around for a while on TikTok about like emotions and Mormonism and women 800 00:58:19.400 --> 00:58:22.000 who had suffered the loss of a child in any capacity or families who had 801 00:58:22.000 --> 00:58:27.480 suffered that, and how they literally don't let you grieve because you must be 802 00:58:27.599 --> 00:58:30.559 so righteous that you were given this baby that didn't even have to be born 803 00:58:30.800 --> 00:58:36.800 or whatever. Like processing grief is not allowed or taught, and you're just 804 00:58:36.840 --> 00:58:40.920 supposed to be really grateful that they're within heaven now instead of on this terrible 805 00:58:40.920 --> 00:58:45.559 earth with you. It's so fucking weird. It is weird. Yeah, 806 00:58:45.559 --> 00:58:52.119 it's it's so it's And maybe people think that they're cheering the person up by 807 00:58:52.119 --> 00:58:54.480 saying, well, they're in a better place, but let me be sad, 808 00:58:54.679 --> 00:58:58.000 you know. Yeah, do you remember the story that went around in 809 00:58:58.039 --> 00:59:01.679 the early nineties, I want to say, and it was told over the 810 00:59:01.679 --> 00:59:07.440 pulpit numerous times. I'm sure it's a lie about how there was a kid 811 00:59:07.519 --> 00:59:12.960 whose face was deformed and he was always like so sad about having a deformed 812 00:59:13.000 --> 00:59:15.559 face and it made his life difficult, and then when he got his patriarchal 813 00:59:15.679 --> 00:59:19.880 blessing, he was told that the reason he was born with a deformed face 814 00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:25.159 is because he fought so hard in the pre existence against Satan that God made 815 00:59:25.199 --> 00:59:30.400 his face so that Satan couldn't Satan couldn't recognize him and tempt him on earth. 816 00:59:30.639 --> 00:59:34.519 And so what a great powerful thing, Like, what the fuck is 817 00:59:34.599 --> 00:59:37.679 that? I hate shit like that? I hate it? Can I go 818 00:59:37.719 --> 00:59:43.239 on a tiny rant really fast? Do it? Okay? So let's pretend 819 00:59:43.239 --> 00:59:45.480 that I did some uber driving for a hot minute, which I really loved 820 00:59:45.480 --> 00:59:49.679 because I got to meet the weirdest damn people in Cash Valley and I love 821 00:59:49.719 --> 00:59:52.559 it because Mormon Zone Uber, so it was like all the outsider people. 822 00:59:52.559 --> 00:59:58.079 Anyway, I pick up this kid that's disabled and he's going he's going to 823 00:59:58.119 --> 01:00:01.079 a shift at di I and he's mentally disabled. And he gets in the 824 01:00:01.079 --> 01:00:04.679 car right away and he's telling me how things are going to be, and 825 01:00:04.679 --> 01:00:06.079 I'm like, oh, I'm here for this. I love it, he 826 01:00:06.079 --> 01:00:07.719 says, right in the front seat, and he's like, I'm putting my 827 01:00:07.760 --> 01:00:12.079 cup here, I've got my shift at DI And I'm like great. And 828 01:00:12.119 --> 01:00:15.920 he goes into this like recitation that he's been taught to say to people, 829 01:00:16.519 --> 01:00:22.760 this story that he gives about how he had stage three cancer for something and 830 01:00:22.800 --> 01:00:28.519 he almost died of something else, but his parents have taught him that God 831 01:00:28.559 --> 01:00:31.320 saved him for a purpose, and he's the only person who have survived this 832 01:00:31.440 --> 01:00:36.199 type of cancer. And I mean, and he's probably forty to fifty years 833 01:00:36.239 --> 01:00:42.000 old and very obviously disabled mentally. But he's been told this thing to say 834 01:00:42.039 --> 01:00:45.159 to people about how he knows that he's important to God and that he has 835 01:00:45.199 --> 01:00:49.159 a message, and there's something he's supposed to be telling. And the asshole 836 01:00:49.199 --> 01:00:51.760 in me the entire time, while I appreciate his story and he was the 837 01:00:51.800 --> 01:00:54.239 sweetest kid ever, I was just thinking, what do you tell the mom 838 01:00:54.280 --> 01:00:59.000 of the four year old kid who didn't survive the cancer thing that she didn't 839 01:00:59.039 --> 01:01:01.239 have a story to tell and she wasn't worth keeping around and whatever. But 840 01:01:01.559 --> 01:01:05.639 it was like this whole campaign type thing. Like I said earlier, like 841 01:01:06.280 --> 01:01:10.480 here's why you should join this church is because we have disabled people who uh 842 01:01:10.679 --> 01:01:15.119 survived cancer, because we have the power. He got priestood blessings all the 843 01:01:15.159 --> 01:01:17.840 time, and one time somebody who gave him a blessing had been blessed by 844 01:01:17.840 --> 01:01:22.679 somebody who touched a prophet once or something. It was this whole thing, 845 01:01:22.719 --> 01:01:25.760 and I was like, God, the manipulation of this person to tell a 846 01:01:25.880 --> 01:01:30.400 story, And while it was supposed to be something sweet that he was sharing 847 01:01:30.400 --> 01:01:32.880 about, like his survival, I was just mad the whole fucking time. 848 01:01:34.000 --> 01:01:37.280 I was so mad. No, I feel that. Yeah, I hate 849 01:01:37.280 --> 01:01:40.119 that shit, I know it. Oh, we could do a whole last 850 01:01:40.159 --> 01:01:45.559 episode about that, right, the whole being like grateful when people die because 851 01:01:45.760 --> 01:01:49.719 like I can't, I can't get it. I can't get I can't. 852 01:01:50.639 --> 01:01:53.880 Yeah. Yeah, and the whole field well, and the whole thing about 853 01:01:53.920 --> 01:02:00.320 God deciding who dies and who doesn't. Yeah, like that noise. No, 854 01:02:00.719 --> 01:02:05.199 yeah, it's just it's not that's not good because that means there's that 855 01:02:05.320 --> 01:02:07.639 means that there are some people that God doesn't give a shit about, right, 856 01:02:07.840 --> 01:02:10.559 and some of the people that he's keeping alive. We might need to 857 01:02:10.599 --> 01:02:13.880 check on his own mental health, because what the fuck are you doing? 858 01:02:13.920 --> 01:02:16.400 God? Yeah? Yeah, why is that person still around? Yeah? 859 01:02:16.519 --> 01:02:21.199 No, I agree, I agree. Dropping names all right, Jennifer, 860 01:02:21.559 --> 01:02:28.599 we fucking did it. We got through the funerals. Oh, now it's 861 01:02:28.639 --> 01:02:32.880 time to move forward. I feel like like the like almost all of my 862 01:02:34.039 --> 01:02:39.840 podcasts since Segment solo, they've all been like sad and death, had a 863 01:02:39.880 --> 01:02:44.719 lot of shit happening, though, I know, can I do a happy 864 01:02:44.760 --> 01:02:46.239 one for once? Let's do it like we're on the first to June or 865 01:02:46.239 --> 01:02:52.280 something. Yes, Yes, let's get let's start to brainstorming, and yeah, 866 01:02:52.360 --> 01:02:53.679 Dan, leave this in. We're letting the people know what's up. 867 01:02:53.800 --> 01:02:59.400 So we're we're gonna. I've got some ideas, and people been sending in 868 01:02:59.440 --> 01:03:04.519 some ideas and Jennifer even did a poll in one of the Facebook pages to 869 01:03:04.519 --> 01:03:07.000 get some ideas of what people want out talk about. So let's do it. 870 01:03:07.000 --> 01:03:09.840 What do you say? Leave it in? Dan? Yeah? And 871 01:03:09.960 --> 01:03:14.559 yes, by the way, Dan from Extension Audio, thank you for leaving 872 01:03:14.599 --> 01:03:17.039 it in. And I guess that's it for now. Steer clear of cults 873 01:03:17.039 --> 01:03:22.000 because they are no joke, no joke at all. There it is all 874 01:03:22.119 --> 01:03:32.400 right bye everybody. Bye. Let me start that over in nipp Fuck me, 875 01:03:34.039 --> 01:03:35.719 sorry Dan, Okay, here we go.