Well, hello y'all. N Peter cottontail hopping down the body trail? Can
everyone he s don't. I don't know the second verse of that. I
just heard the first one. I just know the first part that I say,
Candy, Candy, tell someone sense shut up? Well, I just
I just thought he went around smacking people. That's that's how I finished.
It is confusing. Hey, y'all, welcome to Candy chel Well. I
am Tabitha Hutchinson. I am Betty eber Saul, and we are ever so
happy to see you. You changed your name into a I sure did.
Oh silly, well spring has sprung again, springy spring spring. Here we
are in the world Series of candy chowds. I mean, where it all
comes down to the line, you just leave it on the fielder you go
home. Oh my goodness, tab I got goose pimples all over my thighs.
I know. I'm sorry. People think that if you're putting up the
number one candy holiday that it's gonna be Halloween or maybe Christmas. Shut up,
Oh for wrong, I didn't say it. I'm you know what.
I apologize. I just I've been fighting with my nephew Danny all morning about
which is the most candy holiday, And since you and I are the ones
with the podcast, I think we can decide that for ourselves. Thank you,
Thank you, Danny. I mean you said it, I don't know,
having it numerous times. You said it time after time that East.
Whatever happens in heat Easter, it happens for the rest of the year.
It follows. Easter is the yearly candy tastemaker, and whatever you see brought
out at Easter, you're just gonna keep rehashing for the rest of the whole
year. That is so true. So welcome to the cutting edge. This
is like an auto show, but for things you can eat. That's how
much fun I have. I'm gonna eat a chocolate impala. Well, without
any further ado from you, let's get to the candy. Sorry, I
was that pitching ado because I didn't think I was. I thought I was
letting you roll a little bit there. But so well, sometimes I can't
tell you're too good. I'm sorry. I feel like I hurt you.
You didn't, you didn't. I'm just kind of caught off guards. Okay,
I'm caught off guards. You know. It'll soothe and he hurt wattle
soothe. Sometimes it chew it up and spit it out on open wounds.
It works great as an antiseptic stings. Well, this year we have quite
a few interesting offerings, not only brand new players, but fun twists on
old favorite Oh well, that's just what the holidays are all about. Fun
and twisting, twisting, fun twisting. Oh yeah, magoos. You know
what, as all our listeners can tell, we're coming out after Easter,
huh, we we already went to pig Ladog and we've found all the candy
that's on sale. Well, i'll tell you what. Once we figured that
this whole scam out day after candy is just dandy, and it's so true.
Oh my gosh, you are her words me a sweet treats are extra
cheap on the day after the holiday. You're beating me over the head with
your ribs and hurts. I like to eat chocolate because well, well you
came back down to earth, thank you. Good know what I was like,
little that Chris. I flew too close to the sound. Sometimes a
god can bleed. Okay, well, not saying your Persian or anything,
but you're right. I'm sorry. I tell you what, Betty my husband
chucked has been watching that three movie. Oh my goodness, I tell you
why I can't watch it, but it can I think I know what you
mean. There's more than one kind of can be. Oh, I feel
so nerted. I've been taking so many baths. I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
but I'm just excited for Easter. Okay, let's try to focus on
candy. Okay, and then we'll focus on church. You okay, Betty?
What do we have this week? Well, this Easter, we have
another load of treasures. This year will start off with an old favorite with
a new twist. Oh yeah, well, I think we've all enjoyed Reese's
many holiday offering, every one of them of different shape. Peanut butter cups,
it's a tree, it's a pumpkin. This time it's an egg.
I love peanut butter, but hold on what it's what chocolate this time?
Say what? Well? I said white chocolate, tan chocolate. Well that's
just gonna be sweeter than than than any chocolate. Jerious peanut butter and sweet
choco. Who can imagine it? Can't wait? Can't stop popping in locking
tap Your moves are too sweet? What from our friends across the pond as
they say, Cadbury bring us many as. Oh wait wait, I've been
working on this. Hello Governor, Hello, good Hello, good day.
Oh that's good. Have you been working on that? Well? I watched
a whole lot of Downtown Abbey. Yeah, and I've been. I think
I've perfected it. You know, I've heard of that, and I just
I don't. I can't stay up on PBS and watch it. Would you
care for some more? Team? That's so good? I know, Hello,
Governor, fishing chips anybody. I feel like I'm in jolly old London.
Sometimes I just made that last part up. I hadn't worked on it.
Oh, you are talented, Floyd. I could drop you off anywhere
in the world and I think you'd blend in seamlessly. Try it. Give
me, give me a country and I'll blend in seamlessly. Russia. Hello,
Governor, Vodka bears red Yemen Salmon. Let's get back to the candy.
Okay. Sometimes I sit and work on accidents from England and Cadbury comes
many eggs, Many eggs. Now, you might think these are just normal
chocolates with a candy shell. Yawn, yawn, yawn. How can you
yawn at Cadbury Mini eggs, but you'd be wrong, wrong, wrong,
stop it. I'm on flay, guys, I don't know. Maybe you
know what. I have loved Cadbury Mini eggs since I was a little girl.
Oh, me too, and I'm so glad we're finally bringing them onto
the podcast to share them with the world. Oh. I used to steal
them out of other kids, beaster baskets. That's that's a stealing. Sometimes
i'd snap them too, But I think we both worked through that with you
together. And you know what past has pasted in future is super That's right.
That was a little rougher than some other things. That's the end.
Well, I think the wisdom outweighs the rhyme. Well, Oh, goot
and tog from Germany, our friends at Lent have given us chocolate hazelnut carrots.
Hallo kaiser, Oh, Tabitha, You're a treasure. These are little
tiny wrapped up like a carrot. But it's got an umbrella handle it.
I'm hanging off my mic German engineering, I guess, so why does it
have an umbrella handle? Oh, it's so cute. Milk chocolate with hazel
nut sounds delicious, not at all what I would picture to be in a
charrot. It's from Austria. Oh hallo schwartznagger Okay, Tabitha, continuing our
march through tast be fun another familiar maneuver. This is a nestly crunch in
the shape of an egg. I'm sure it tastes can copletely different in the
shape of an egg. Well, what you know what I'm I We'll see
if it's in the shape of an egg. That's what we'll do. Because
remember remember how they're like, oh, this is a wreath. No,
it's just a little circle pilot turd. Oh my goodness. And we swore
that never happened again. But guess what, Tabitha, I can't possibly another
coconut turd just fell off a Russell Stover's maneuver truck. And we're gonna put
it in our mouths because Russell Stover brought us an Easter coconut nest. It's
the same exact thing, but we're gonna call it a nest. Christmas,
it was a wreath. Now it's a nest. It was just like a
desk at a Halloween what they call it flattened pumpkin left in the sun to
bacon the car in an Indian scalp. Because it was Halloween that had to
make it spooky. I don't really remember. I don't either. Maybe they
called it ectoplasm and it, but it was just a brand. Well let
me, hey, Russell, listen up, let me help you out.
Just call him. Let's call him dog Barts. Russell's over. So,
my goodness. So that is quite the cornea copy. And I think it's
time for us to dig in. Where should we start? Tab, I'm
gonna get this nasty old coconut nest out of the way. It brings out
the worst in me. He just spoke in tongues. Here we go,
grief. Tonight we shall dine and hal. You're getting real dark, Tab.
Look at this. This is not a nest. This is not a
nest. It's the wreath betrayal all over again. Oh my gosh. It
doesn't even have an Indian in it, you know. I remember on the
box it had a half a coconut shell, and I thought that'd be interesting.
I will never try it. You bought it, and all right,
time to take it by Oh whatever? All right now. I used to
remember that pug. I used to have mister Picklewigglecklewiggle. He that he used
to leave accidents that looked like this. I used to take a little bit
of his accidents home with me, sometimes inadvertently. M you know what,
Russell kind of jumped the shark gun the coconut a little bit. It's actually
not that bad kind of crunchy. Now. I love coconuts, So this
is not a death march for me. I should pitch myself. There's planning
to go. Well, I'll tell you what, tab I'll just shove the
whole thing in my mouth. I do. I black out for just a
few seconds at a time, and when I come to my mouth full of
candy. Now, this is rarely a problem for me, but when it
comes to all eating a candy eating it is an issue. I need to
be like one of those wine tasters with a bucket. I can just hawk
all this chocolate goo into So I'm I'm just a bucket of liquid and liquid
fied chocolate goo. Yep, it'll harden after a while and then it'll look
like Russell Stover. Well. I mean I always do. I feel like
the coconut's toe and the chocolate is rich and smooth, so for if you
like coconut, there's nothing to lose except for your jaded attitudes regarding rehashed holiday
treats. That's true. I tell you what. There's not as much coconuts
as I was afeared there was in there. So if you don't like coconut
like me, you don't have to be too scarred. But I still wouldn't
buy it. So your recommendation is, if you hate coconut, this has
less coconut than other coconut coconuts, right, and don't buy it. Still
moving on? Moving on? Well, I'll tell you what. I can't
resist this white chocolate. Breathe this egg, right, chect It looked like
a real egg. Oh my goodness, I can't wait to open it.
What if you bit into a real egg and it was just full of peanut
butter. I've had that dream several times. Not me. It looks like
an egg. If you had these with your toaster, I just sounded haunted.
Look like an egg? What is this? I mean? You know
what you're gonna get? You know what a for effort. Reese's m m
mmmm well heavy on the peanut butter. Mmmmmm well, Reese's delivers the peanut
butter flavor every time, and I feel like the chocolate is just tied up
with a blindfolding the gag in a trunk of the car. I agree,
And you know this is sliding around in my hand like a like an eel
in a car wash. In a car wash, a more pure representation a
peanut butter flavor a man couldn't have unless he just eat peanut butter, which
is a lot less convenient than buying an egg shaped peanut butter brick. You
know, I was expecting more from that white chocolate but he too. I
thought i'd bring some pizzazz or some much needed class to the operation. Not
sure brought either. No, No, all right, what else? Let's
continue the march of egg shaped treats with the Nestli Crunch Chocolate egg. I'd
like to point out at this point that none of these are truly egg shaped.
They're about half an egg shake. Yeah, I think they'd be too
big. Now here's a fun fact, because the crunch in Nestle's Crunch is
actually just race crispies, So this counts as a breakfast treat. You could
put this in a bowl or give it to a child, and the police
can't do anything about it. I've done it. They can report you all
they want, but the facts do not lie. Sometimes Chuck pours a bunch
of these out, a bunch of crunch bars, and put them a bunch
of milk, and then then he'll turn on three hundred and then what happens.
Well, I pretend to cook pancakes. I'm not cooking pancakes. I
don't understand you. Well, we got a TV in the kitchen. Oh
okay, this chocolate tastes like someone dropped an old cigar in the vat.
Wow, harsh shock. I mean it's it's just like thick crunch bar.
I don't care for the flavor. The chocolate taste like tobacco taste, a
little bit like no heart went into it. Mmmm. This is the flavor
of Soulis Corporate America and their eternal struggle to suck the fun out of every
holiday. I just got that tobacco taste. Oh there it is there.
It is trying to get you addicted to their product. Mmm. Let's light
up another crunch bar and do with a bomb tooke with from it. Oh
goodness, I've been watching Nightline all week terrified commercials. I didn't want to
It's scared me. Well, I'll tell you what. I didn't watch Nightline
this week at all because Chuck had three most of the time. But it
has been a busy week for that DVD player. Sounds like, oh yeah,
all right, I thought it was on Stars. Let's keep on trucking.
It's time for the lent chocolate carrot umbrellas. Oh boy, can't wait
to see what these are. Austrian. I feel like I need to degreed
just how to unwrap it spirits? Dude, Well, I'm afraid I'm gonna
eat the plastic. I live in a pernal terror of plastic and food.
What eternal terror? Because well, I I may have, because I told
you I black out for seconds at a time, and we're gonna wake up
my mouthsful. I'm the reason those Kinder eggs are illegal in the United States?
Are you I am? I'm toys. I have a condition. It's
not my fault. I had almost all those vikings they came out with,
and just because they stopped importing them, I wasn't able to get the rest
of the vikings. Well that's I mean, I'll tell you what. If
you go down to the Oak Lapela County Museum of Medical Oddities, you'll find
most of those vikings after they were removed from my lower intestine. I was
laid up for months. But there's a salem because that's a thing. I
don't know. It stem about plastics and camels until those from those when I
was a little girl. Lad and I don't want to get caught. Well,
here we go. I need you to maintain eye contact with me so
I don't black out. Well, all right, well that was close.
Yes, taste like Kinder chocolate. It's kind of chewy chocolate. Way better
than that garbage that the Crunch factory cigar Man soul is crud that they just
spit out. Mm. Well, this is a delicious, rich chocolate.
And I really get that hazelnut flavored. I get it too. I am
a feared I'm going to break a tooth off with this plastic though. Isn't
that dangerous? It goes up about an inch into the chocolate. That's called
Kinder culture. They are a people who are weary even of their own candy.
I mean, my goodness, why would you put an umbrella hook onto
a piece of chocolate. Shove it up in there an inch, a good
inch, a good inch into this chilcolate, and then just leave it there
for people to just sink their teeth on and break the teeth on. The
price of candy treats is eternal vigilance. Well, i'll tell you what it's
all right, The chocolate makes up for the danger. Well, I think
it's spiced up by the danger. I feel like I'm driving in a race
car, but it's just plastic in my mouth. M. That's a good
analogy. Boy. You are on top of your analogies and your rhymes.
Tonight, Betty, Hey, we all right, it's time to round out
this collection with some cadberry many eggs. Hello, govnor Chuck hates it when
I do that full disclosure. So you just get it out of your system
when you're in my house. Well, because it seems like you're getting it
out of your system, here's something for you. Oh I love these.
Come on, don't be shy, all right. Yeah. The pink color
is almost close to the white color. It's very subtle, and away we
go, right, m. This is like a snigger blanket on a rainy
April day. Now, is that a blanket that looks like the wrapper of
a Snickers bar? Is it a blanket made of Snicker bars? It's a
blanket with a picture of Rusty Ball. It's not it. Oh, he
likes to drive that car recklessly fast. Check ordered the blanket. I mean,
it's not like I said no or anything, but we got a rusted
while it's blanket. That's what it feels like in my mouth right now.
You sniggle a bow and then him, Oh, that's adorable. I'll tell
you what. I'm sorry, Eminem, you are very lucky that these are
a seasonal treat, or you would be pushed right out of the market.
Why why do you think that Cadbury only puts out many eggs at Easter.
I think they're prohibitively expensive, and I think that they can only make that
much perfect chocolate a year. You're probably right because the candy shell it's thicker
than an eminem, it's sweeter, but it just gives a fun crunch to
it, and the chocolate is so rich and delicious. Thank you, Cadberry.
Cadberry. I'll tell you what. I'm just I'm not trying to be
in the marketing team or anything, but you could put out some spider eggs.
You could, You could put those out year round. You get your
spider eggs out. They're all sweet, maybe some green ones. Lord knows,
you're not above it with those damned cream eggs. Maybe some purple wounds.
Every every time I swing a dead cat out there's a cadberry cream,
a cat ery cream eg out there. You're right, every time you swing
a dead cat, there's every time when I swing that cat, there's a
cama out there, dead cat there, there's a cabery cream EG. Oh
my goodness, Oh Miami, that is all of that we got for this
week. Well, I tell you what, everybody, I have been Tabatha
Hutcheson. Oh and I have been hold the phone Joan, my name's not
because we have. You might think I've forgotten, but I don't ever forget
to tempt Tabitha. Oh boy. Now your doctor called me and said,
Betty, you better stop doing that to Tabitha because she is borderline. And
I said, uh, no, thank you, doctor, I'll call you
later. And I just went right back to doing whatever I pleased. Why
would you call him later? I thought it was polite in the moment.
You're right because Look who's hopping down the money trail. It's Russell Stover.
Look, it's right shotgun and Russell Stover's maneuver truck. No easter bunny.
It's a solid milk chocolate easter bunny. He stands approximately eight inches high.
He's got a fun look in his eye that says devour me with reckless up
and uh he don't say that, does he? Oh? He do so,
Tabitha. I'm gonna need to see how far you can get through this
this here, uh, solid chocolate easter bunny in let's say one minute.
Well, before you start, I just want to say what a capricious lover
the rest of Stover is. Oh, oh, Betty, I'm either gonna
come back with MA shield or on it. Oh that's a reference to three
hundred. It is it is, Betty. I have something to tick and
fence. What's that I have attempt? Betty? Oh my goodness, Betty's
what I found? It's your key to wonderland. It's one of my darkest
moments. If I if I have a candy nemesis, you have handed it
to me. It's a NERD's rope. It's a nerds rope. It's almost
destroyed me when last we met. It almost destroyed you. But I've been
training. What well, guess what, Tabitha? This he star? This
is madness? Now do I have to eat this in the same amount of
time? Yeah, I had a feeling, you'd say, so, Well,
I tell you what I feel like, that little hunchback fellow right now,
I feel like I just betrayed you. I feel I feel sort of
bad, have some regrets, but I've got I'm showered and golden women.
Well ll let's get to it. Are you Are you going three two one
on Carlier goes your ears? Oh my goodness, do you have an advantage
except the fact that it transports you to the fifth demension? It's makes my
whole mouth hurt? M But who really? Who really? Thirty seven stackers?
Oh? You better haulball the time? You don't even do that Bunns
bow tie? Dang, it makes my jar hets. How bad season?
Oh? I could just melted down port. I played a little trick on
you. We're in a minute seventeen. I just wanted to see you take
another back. Oh ta ath We share you have fun, don't we?
Well? I feel like the biggest failure. Oh, my teeth are screaming
at me. I think I'm on going on a spirit quest or have one
of them Indian visions. Can you ever see that movie where the guy's hanging
from his head from the leather they put through his chest. Nope, I
feel like that guy right now. Wait a minute, was that hundred and
one damasitions? No? No, I think I just saw my spirit animal.
Well, I failed that tempt you didn't. The key was to see
how far you get? And you devoured that bunny's smug little face. I
did. I ate the entire nerds rope. Oh god, I feel like
I failed myself for winning. That was the trick. You are pleasure.
You are a clever little minx. Tabitha. Oh you had it coming.
Oh it's so true. I figured I couldn't dodge that bullet forever. Turn
About is fair play and candy chat for every day. Oh stop it,
It's only made you stronger. I'm a nito burning funny car of glucose and
extra inslin right now. What happened in your brain and in your mouth when
you had that, Well, it's like my brain drew all the shields around
it into one giant dome. And then my tongue shot out the middle like
a single spear thrown by a Spartan warrior. And that's stupid, filthy nerds.
Rope was like Xerxes the Persian, smuggly sitting atop his throne of lies
and q weird creatures. You've been watching stars too, and guilty as char
knew it. I knew it. Now. Don't feel so bad, not
at all, because we're better for the chocolate that I just shoved. Any
face that makes me feel bad, that's gonna make you feel bad, pretty
bad. I mean I call him a document, you're probably gonna call him
later bad for an hour. Oh my goodness. Well, it's time for
us to hippity hop hop down the bunny trails. Right, let's review.
Well we started off with Russell Stover's latest slap in the face. Well,
I tell you what, bet, it is still a chapter from your book.
I am over Russell Stover. Oh my goodness, over Russell Stover.
We are officially feuding Russell. How could you? Yep? It was just
the same old thing and a different rapper, And I mean, with put
some effort into it. You're asleep at the wheel. Rustle of your manure
truck bottom of the list, yep. And then moving on from there was
the very interesting and alluring white chocolate peanut butter egg. Now it was interesting
because it was white man, but where was the white chocolate flavor? It
was not riding in on at dawn on the third day, No it did
not. Then the helm's deep of this particular candy, the orcs of peanut
butter gold Duel one meats back on the menu. Boys, the only dwarf
that got thrown was my taste buds in this one. Let's move on to
the nestly crunch egg, which is clearly just a bad batch or somebody thinks
it's hilarious to put tobacco and chocolate and don't smoke around chocolate manufacturing and taste
like my uncle Kenny's jacket smells. Oh, I've tasted and smelled it,
and you are right. You know what, crunch egg, you're going back
behind white chocolate egg. Uh huh, You're You're lucky. You're lucky that
that Russell Stover's at the bottom to break your fault, crunch egg, because
you'd be hitting the floor rights crunch egg. From there, we took a
flight across the ocean to Germany to try the lent chocolate carrot that you had
no carrot in it whatsoever. It was just a whimsical presentation with a with
a plastic trap in the middle. Maybe maybe lent means plastic in the middle.
Yeah, it's just a simple warning. And we just we don't have
enough German to know the difference. But it's a milk chocolate hazel nut selling
cone. Cone gets the cone with plastic in the middle that you have to
be careful of. You don't destroy your mouth. It's a delicious treat that
should only be enjoyed under a medical supervision. Sure, you need a spotter
for this candy. It's it's good, it's it's not bad, except for
the part that you might die in your mouth. It's right. So if
you have what the blackout eats like I do, get a spot her.
That's just simple safety from your friend Betty ever saw Betty Ever Saw Moving on
down the list, staying over there in Europe. How about cadberries delicious,
many eggs, what a sublime treat and the the Beatles and the only real
standout winner today, that's true, a delicious treat without a thread of chocolate
and palement or choking hazard, spotted dick. I'm sorry what I'm just throwing
out any any and all British terms that I can think of. Okey dokey.
Well, I was gonna say the many eggs. Many eggs are classic
standby and they deliver every time. And that's why the classic And that's right
there to the top of the list, one of my favorite Easter treats that
never disappoints. Thank you, thank you, David Beckham. You've figured it
out and you stayed the course. That's right, Simon cow monty python.
Now I can play your game. Oh finally, while I thought that I
was in control of this tugboat with a tempt Tabitha well, she pulled a
quick one on me, and suddenly I too had to be tempted into doing
something unpleasant with candy boogeaboo. You are a trickster, Tabitha. Sometime and
so we ate the better part of Russell Stover solid Chocolate Easter Bunny, and
I ate my personal nemesis. I faced him on the field of battle and
I inhaled that damn nerds rope at the end of which I said, is
there no one else? Is there no one else? Are you not entertained?
Well, I just mixed like five different movies A sexy man in Kilts.
I think you did, and I'm not gonna complain about it. Mm.
Stars is a heck of a delicious channel to watch. I love it
when they had the free weekends, get it. I understand that, So
thank you Stars. You're like candy for my brain. That's right, speaking
of candy for your brain. What's gonna happen to me next week? Betty?
I want you to prophesy I I think you still got the gift from
the rope. I have looked into the dark madness of the future, brought
in the visions brought on by a candy encrusted nerds rope, and what I
see is darkness, flames and madness looking at our heels, but a single
lot of hope will save us both. And it looked like the sign of
a pigley dog. But I think interpretationally it meant that what we need to
do is focus on savings and candy. Oh okay, okay, you know
I do have some points stored up on my car. Oh you are the
Dickens. Charles dickens Well for this edition of International Candy Chap. I've been
the Queen of England, Betty ever saw I was the Queen of Well.
I guess I'm just Tampatha Hudgson there. And I didn't mean to steal the
good ones. You didn't mean to, I know, but you know what,
I had it coming to me because I've been stealing from kids all my
life. I've been slapping them and I've been stealing and I've been slapping and
slap them and I can't slap them. And I can then I slapped them
after I slap but I can't. I can't slap it. I just can't.
Can't slap them. Bye bye, everybody,