Hi everyone, Welcome back to another podcast episode. My name is Alicia Gogin,
the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, where I help you expand your
mind and become more self aware so that you can glow up into the best
version of yourself. Hello, Happy Thursday. If you're listening to this on
a Thursday, I will be touching down in Miami when you're listening to this
episode. So let's just pray that I'm getting some sort of sun because today
in Toronto, right now, as I'm filming zero sun, can't see the
sea in tower even if my life depended on it. I woke up at
freaking four thirty am. What is going on with me? You know what
it is. It's the freaking magnesium sleepy girl mocktails. It will get you
because I went to sleep at like ten, knocked out, then woke up
at like four thirty. I'm not complaining because I got so much done,
but I am a little bit tired. I'm recording this at nine thirty am,
so if I'm all over the place, I'm sorry. I don't know
what to tell you, but I do need to tell you one thing,
one main thing that completely allowed me to embody, main character energy. That's
what the topic is going to be today. We're gonna talk about embodying main
character energy, having confidence. I am going to give you definition. I'm
gonna tell you the one thing that really changed the game for me. And
I'm going to answer a lot of your guys's questions in regards to main character
energy and confidence because you guys had a lot of really good ones and I
think a lot of you guys will relate. We are going to get into
it, but first, my book, The Ultimate Globe Guide. If you're
watching on YouTube, you can see it sitting beside me. It is out
and it is released. Please, if you guys have pre ordered the book
and as soon as you get it, please tag me on Instagram either my
main Instagram Alicia Gogin and or the podcast The Globe Secret Podcast to show me
that you've received it and let me know your feedback. Please let me know
how you like the book, your your favorite parts, whatever it is.
I can't wait to hear the feedback. Hopefully it's good. I've gotten some
really good feedback already from some people who have read my like author's copies that
I've given. But I'm excited for you guys. This is the year of
glowing up. And when I come back from Miami, we are gonna do
some sort of challenge. I'm gonna do it like I said on TikTok,
but I will bring it to the podcast because I know not every single one
of you watch my tiktoks, but we're glowing up, like and I'm coming
back and then it's gonna be February and then March, so basically like summers
here, guys. Okay, I cannot wait. Also one thing though,
next Monday's episode there's not gonna be one because I just didn't have enough time
to record one more episode before I leave for Miami, So you guys will
not see an episode then. But that's fine. You guys can go look
back on the library of podcasts that I do have. So I wanted to
talk about main character energy because I feel like in my comments sections recently,
and probably just the topics I've been talking about, I'm getting this sense of
like we don't know our worth, Like where's the confidence in the girlies who
are listening to the pod? You know? And I think this is just
a good topic and a good reminder and a good, Like, let's get
back on track of what is important, which is us type of energy,
And like we know, having confidence and main character energy gets us the things
that we want in our lives, because we go for what we want in
our lives when we have confidence within ourselves and believe it within ourselves. So
we just need to have a conversation about it. And I feel like there's
so much discourse online regarding main character energy and I'm not even trying to bash
other creators or whoever else is talking about these topics, because I think everyone
has their own little tips on how to embody main character energy. I think
I have my unique tips. I think I've tried other people's tips in terms
of of we're gonna get into it. But even somebody had asked about,
you know, dressing and looking a certain way and like using external things to
make yourself feel like this main character and certain mannerisms and things like that,
but that stuff never really worked for me. The thing that worked for me
is I'm gonna tell you in a second, but I really just want to
read out a definition of what main character energy is if you guys don't know,
and I'm gonna give you my definition. So this is a simple Google
search and I wrote in what is main character energy? And I got Main
character energy is a characteristic that describes how a person prioritized themselves and their own
happiness. Main character energy is typically associated with high confidence, self respect,
and self love, which I feel like we all know that. But my
personal definition of what main character energy is and how I see it is somebody
who is themselves, somebody who is authentically themselves. How do you be authentic
and be yourself? Though? And this was the one thing that really changed
it for me. I had to learn how to love and accept myself for
being a human being with flaws, making mistakes, not making the right decision
all the time, getting out of my own way, dropping perfectionism. In
order for you to really actually like yourself, this, in my personal opinion,
requires you to like the parts of you that aren't picture perfect. I
think that we are so good at loving ourselves on condition meaning I love myself
when I show up for myself. I love myself when I'm hitting all my
goals. I love myself when my skin is good today. I love myself
when I'm on a weight loss journey. But what about the days when you're
not. What about the days when your skin's not good, What about the
days where you messed up? What about X, Y and Z? And
you don't like yourself when you do those things. And that's to me what
gets in the way of you really having main character energy, because the truth
of the matter is is you are human. You are not perfect. Nobody
is perfect. You don't go through life making the right decision every single second
of the day. Okay, that's just the reality of it. And am
I saying, oh, We're just gonna like always go through life and not
care about how we act or be and like self improve No, because the
podcast is all about self improving. But the thing that changed the game for
me in terms of confidence, main character energy improving myself is accepting that I'm
a human being with flaws and I'm gonna make mistakes and I'm not going to
get in my own way and get wrapped up in these mistakes or these flaws
that I have, or trying to change myself so much and try to be
perfect because it just doesn't work. And I think that like when I really
see somebody who is confident they are themselves, and when you think when you
really think about somebody who's really themselves. They're real, Okay, they're not
so primive proper, they make mistakes, there's something about and again like everyone
has their preference in what you like in terms of realness, obviously, but
I think main character energy is about being yourself. And how you be yourself
is you accept the fact that you are a human being and you don't continue
to put everything in your shadow and hate every part of yourself and reject every
single part of yourself, and you realize, like, I don't need to
reject so many parts of me that I maybe learned one day to hate and
reject and deny and disown. Which is the reason why a lot of the
times we struggle with even liking ourselves is because somewhere in our lives, in
our journey you're on earth, we have been taught through society, through parents,
through friends, toxic people, this that you can't act like that,
you can't be like that, you're ugly if you like that, look like
that, X, Y, and Z. And so it's no wonder that
we don't like ourselves because everyone around us is telling us in our ears that
you need to do this, that and the third so it's like a normal
thing because we grow up wanting to have connection in love with other people,
so we do our best to conform. But realistically it's not again about not
working on yourself. But you can only conform so much. And I always
think about this when it comes to my natural hair, Like I was only
able to burn off my hair so much before my hair literally like started falling
out to the point where it was like, I have to embrace my natural
hair or run the risk of not ever having any healthy hair, Like I
had to eventually just decide. And I'm not saying also, if you have
curly hair, you can't get your hair however it is you want it.
But for me personally, it got to a point where I just my values
my everything. I want health and I want nourishment for my body, my
mind, my soul, my everything, and I know personally what's good for
me. And that was learning how to embrace my natural hair. And I
don't always wear my hair natural. I don't always not wear makeup, you
know, but or I don't always whatever it is. But I give myself
flexibility and I allow myself to be who I am as well. And it's
not about oh, when my hair is not straight, I'm like not good
enough. It's just my hair's not straight. Or when I'm not wearing makeup,
I'm not good enough. It's just I'm Alicia without wearing makeup. I'm
very like neutral about it. But I think we've learned okay. Well,
when I'm not wearing makeup, or when my hair's not done a certain way,
or I'm not acting a certain way, or I'm messed up, it's
like you're bad, you're wrong or whatever, and you're not. You're not.
You're just a person who didn't make that decision. Or you're a person
who doesn't wear a makeup today or hasn't been wearing makeup today. You know
what I mean. Now, Another reason why it's so important to accept yourself
for your flaws, your mistakes. You're just being who you are, Like
you didn't have to look at it as flaws or mistakes but whatever we'll use
those terms. Is in order for you to really build confidence in your life,
you have to be willing to try things out in your life because that's
how you're going to get good at things and feel confident within yourself. Right,
you can speak at words of affirmation all day and oh my gosh,
kay, love you like, accept you like flaws? Is that? But
the end of the day, how you build real confidence, though, is
actually going out in the world and trying. If you're not accepting yourself though,
and you leave no room for mistakes, for error, for flaws,
you're not going to try. Why because you can't accept the fact that maybe
you will be cringy at one point when you try something, or you might
mess up, or you might make a mistake whatever. So that's why it's
so important that you need to learn how to accept and love yourself because that
allows you the ability to take that action to go out and try in your
life. And when you try, that's how you build real confidence. People
want to talk about all day, how do I build confidence? What's the
key to confidence? You try, you practice. At the end of the
day, we can tell ourselves all day how amazing and beautiful and da da
dah this that the third that we are. Yes, we need that.
Obviously, that's like the first step, but eventually you have to actually take
the step. The same way when it comes to building anything in your life
goals. You can sit here and make your dream board all day babe.
But at the end of the day, you have to wake up in the
morning and you have to take your feet out of your bed, get up
and go do the thing that you said that you wanted to do. You
have to take the action. It's not just gonna come to you. It's
not just gonna knock on your door. It doesn't have to be hard,
but the end of the day, we have to take the action. So
it's really important to have that mindset of like understanding, I don't have to
be perfect. I don't have to be fallless if I mess up whatever,
who cares? Learning I'm learning, I'm learning. And I even said this
on a TikTok. I said, if you want to win in life,
you have to be willing to try. You do not win in life if
you don't try. Okay, And I even think about this when it comes
to YouTube, podcasting, whatever in my life, I had to try.
I had to be willing to try and be willing to fail, be willing
to practice. So know that when it comes to building confidence in any area
of your life, whether it's relationships, making more money, career, learning
how to even just accept and love yourself, you're gonna have to practice,
You're gonna have to try, and you're gonna have to leave room for Okay,
maybe my first video is not gonna be flawless. And who is making
it at the end of the world and the biggest deal you are at the
end of the day, you are now Listen, you are because maybe in
your past somebody has made it a big deal or somebody has told you that
you know, you have to be perfect. So this is why it's so
important for you to understand where you first picked up this idea that you had
to be perfect. A lot of us had really strict parents. A lot
of us are just trying to keep ourselves safe because maybe we got made fun
of once in school or maybe again we see Like for me, I used
to always see girls who were praised that didn't look like me. So when
I looked in the mirror and I saw myself, I'm like, oh my
God, Like, let me try and hive myself and morph myself so that
people don't like see me. But like, obviously that's not a healthy way
to live now. I did talk a lot about this in my book The
Ultimate Globe Guide. I talk about the cycles that I went through and how
I was always trying to be on this pursuit of glowing up and like loving
myself. But I really struggled with that because I had these deep rooted insecurities
based off of just what I was going through my life. I was in
survival mode. And a lot of you guys ask me this question in regards
to how do you get over the fear of being seen? And I think
that this what all the advice I just gave you is so relevant to this
question if you continue to ask people, which is fine that you asked that,
but it's like, your fear of being seen is really you fearing yourself.
You don't allow yourself the opportunity to fail, to make mistakes, to
be cringey, to be imperfect. You're so afraid to be seen because you're
trying to be this picture perfect you. You have to practice being flawed human
being realistically, the like it's really not about what other people are seeing about
you. It's you're looking at yourself like, oh my god, I have
to be this certain way, and because it's really hard to be pit like
perfect or show up a certain way, I'm just like too afraid and I
can't do it. And like I have imposter syndrome. Da da da.
You have that because you're afraid of seeing yourself for who you are. You
got to go on this self acceptance journey. It changes the game. Like
I used to never want to accept anything about myself because I made meeting out
of it, Like, oh, like I'm not a worthy person if I
make mistakes, I'm not gonna be loved. If I don't have a picture
perfect body, I won't get X, Y and Z in my life,
my wants and my needs met because I am myself, which is wild,
but that's how we operate. But realistically, this is all ingrained beliefs that
are actually not your truth. And when I was thinking about this topic,
I just wanted to say, like, everyone has a right to be confident
and take up space and to be seen in the world. But somewhere along
your lines, you have been taught that you can't. Somebody's taken that away
from you. But you need to understand, and I'm telling you this.
Everyone has the right to take up space and be seen and be feeling confident
in life. But it's going to be up to you, as an adult
now, to remind yourself that to go on that journey to reparent yourself,
to allow yourself to be released from this inner tyrant voice that keeps telling you
you can't be seen, or you have to be perfect, or you can't
do X, Y and Z. But these people can overhear Nope, we're
not doing it. We're not doing it. So the the most important thing
when it comes to main character energy is learning to tap into self acceptance and
self love. And there's definitely a few questions that I will answer in regards
to this, but you know, I think over my years, I just
realized that I'm wasting so much time trying to be perfect and it doesn't even
exist. And like, you can't you can't be everyone's cup of tea.
You're not gonna have everyone like you. If people are even tearing you down
for being who you are, those people are not for you. Like we,
I feel like a lot of us do know this. We just need
to hear it again. But we we need to really practice that in those
moments when we are, you know, trying to be perfect to the point
where we don't end up doing anything in our lives or we feel who freaking
We have to give the energy of who cares, and I know it's so
much more like easier said than done, but I don't know. I just
think like, as I've gotten older, I'm just so sick and tired of
trying to keep myself in this small, little ca tained box because I'm too
afraid to be seen for who I am, which is a actually a either
flawed human being or just maybe people not everyone's cup of tea. Because that's
how I felt really in high school, Like, you know, I didn't
want to be myself because I'm like, oh, well, like these guys
over here are not going to like me, or like these girls over here,
I'm not going to fit in with them. Okay, if those guys
don't like me over there, are they really my guys? No, they're
not. Like at the end of the day, they're not. Or these
friends who I don't fit in over here, Well, why is it that
I don't fit in with them over here? Maybe because I don't look like
Okay, just because you don't look like everyone doesn't mean also you can't fit
in here, And like, who's to say that these people have an issue
with that? But even if they do, then they're not your people.
But also, why am I trying to move into spaces where it's completely opposite
to me. Most likely that's because I'm trying to reject myself so heavily.
This does not mean that you can't move in spaces that are different than you.
You can. You can't pick up inspiration by people and makeup and hair
and this of course not. But like, really getting to the root of
where these beliefs and these thoughts are coming from will be so huge in your
self acceptance journey. But again, my book really does address this, and
it has journal pomps in the book, So if you're interested in The Ultimate
Globe Guide, it'll be linked down below. All right, let's get into
the Q and A because there is a lot of questions. So somebody had
asked how to have main character, energy and confidence but still work on your
flaws? And what I got from this question is basically like, how do
I hope that this is maybe we could just reword this. How do I
love and accept myself while still working on myself? And I think the key
with still like working on yourself thing is accepting and loving yourself through the process
of you not being your dream version yet instead of you being a tyrant on
yourself and hating yourself until you get to the end result, Like I just
never accepted my body on the pursuit of changing my body, and I know
it kind of can be hard because it's like you're changing your body at the
same time, so it's like, naturally, you're not gonna like your body
that you have. But I just would always look in the mirror and be
like, it's fine that I'm a little bit overweight right now. Why is
this the end of the world. It's okay that I don't look like an
Instagram model. Why is it the end of the world. And what I'm
going to focus on is moving my body and eating correctly and taking care of
myself from a place of I deserve it, from a place of this is
what I should be doing in life, you know, not from a place
of, oh my god, you need to work on yourself because you're inherently
wrong, and also you have to fit in it with everyone else that no,
you want to change from a place of self love and nourishment and love
for yourself, and because this is something that you should be doing, like
moving your body and eating correctly. Instead of moving your body eating correctly this
that only because you're trying to get a means to an end. Understand the
natural consequence of you taking care of your mental health and your physical health will
be your beautiful body the way God intended at the end of the day.
Okay, But what we are trying to do is not accept even what God
intended and the natural consequences of taking care of our unique selves. We're trying
to morph ourselves into being somebody who were not even We're not even that person.
We won't be that person. Why are we trying to be someone else
that we're not? Right? And I talk about it in my book At
the beginning of my glove journey, where I was so obsessed with Tumblr and
girls who just didn't look like me, and I was like picking up these
glow up habits and like workouts, dieting to try and morph myself into being
somebody on my Tumblr blog that wasn't me, you know. And once I
started to learn to love myself through the process, understand why even got to
the place of unhealthy relationships with food and not taking care of myself, and
I really started to learn how to love and repairent myself and take care of
myself in a healthy way. I stopped caring about wanting to be the other
girl, and I started caring about being becoming the best version of me.
That's why I have this Glow Up podcast is because I really want to bring
everyone's attention back to their unique self. Going on a globe journey is coming
back home to yourself. It's not changing yourself and becoming someone else that you
are not. So I think, like, how you know the difference is,
you know, the type of habits that you're telling yourself that you need
to do will tend to be like really really strict if it's coming from a
place of self hate versus self love, and coming from a place of self
love looks like not telling yourself to do the same hard, strenuous five am
workout every single day, or you're a failure understanding that there's natural flows of
life for women. I love to cycle, SAYNK. So I give myself
like ease and grace. Also, when I'm not in the best mood,
I don't like get I'm mad at myself for like not having so much energy
during the day, and I allow myself to just be who I am.
I let my emotions out on the days that I feel like I am having
a hard day, I don't beat myself up about something if I didn't come
out with the best quality video, or I mess up my words, or
you know, even if things don't work out in relationships, I'm not sitting
here telling myself how bad of a human being I am. You know,
I look at how I played a role in a relationship. I take ownership,
I take responsibility, and I keep it moving like we know this,
we know this. What's the opposite for you to continue to just beerate yourself
every single day? Why are we doing that? Most likely we've been taught
to do that from somebody in our past, but that's not us anymore.
That doesn't serve us, So we're not doing that. So I hope that
kind of answered the question. I kind of went on a tangent, but
also in terms of like what helps me have main character, energy and like
confidence within myself even as let's say I'm not like where exactly where I want
to be is always just working on myself. Right. The way that you
have confidence in your life is when you show up for yourself. Okay,
So even if I don't feel fully confident in something that I have going for
me in my life. Let's say I walk into a room where someone is
like more successful than me. I tend not to feel like crap about myself
so much when I know that I woke up that day and I was working
on something similar to that, you know what I mean, like going out.
Let's say, Okay, let's bring into like physical expearence. Let's say
you go to the beach and you see these girls and they have amazing bodies,
which, like, let's just okay, people have amazing bodies. It's
great love that, but like, let's it's we're at the beach, like,
let's have fun in the sun, and let's have a great time and
embrace the vitamin D. Like bodies are like the least important thing. But
let's say it's super important for you, and you recognize everyone has a great
body, you tend to feel a little bit better about yourself. Even if
you see somebody who's clearly reflecting a contrast which is different than you, which
is fine. You can remind yourself, Okay, well I went to the
gym today, So how much more am I gonna brate myself when I went
to the gym today? I took care of myself. I'm drinking my water,
I'm having my vitamins, I'm going to sleep at a good time.
I'm having my journal practice, I'm working on my finances. I'm doing the
damn thing right. So at the end of the day, I'm not gonna
say that I just have confidence moving through life without doing anything in my life.
I have confidence in those moments too, by simply reminding myself, well,
I did do everything on my to do list today, So how can
I really like get downe on myself? You know what I mean? Somebody
asked, can you talk about the forgotten girl who always feels unwanted and alone
and how she can start feeling more valued? And then she followed up saying,
and the girl who always gets rejected anywhere because of her skin color.
This makes me so infuriating when we I'm saying we, but like, really
you, because I haven't really gone through much racism in my life, if
I'm being honest. I'm a mixed girl. And although I did grow up
in literally all white school, I for sure felt different. I for sure
felt different, but it wasn't really a skin color thing too much. And
and I didn't really have. I mean, I definitely had a few people
a few times in my life where they said something about my skin color back
in high school. But my parents were really good at just reminding me,
like people can be very ignorant. But this just inviuriates me because it really
really just sucks, and I hate this that, like you have to move
through life like feeling like you're not enough because your skin color, which by
the way, is so freaking beautiful. And I just think, like,
can we all first and foremost just decide from this this day on to accept
the things that are natural to us, and we can start buy skin color.
Please if you have brown skin, if you have black skin, if
you have white skin, if you have freaking mixed skin like me, just
please can we all embrace it? Please? Please please, Like this is
just you have to look at yourself like beautiful, but also understanding this.
If someone is going to the extent of let's say skin color, they're not
well mentally, they're not well. So what we're not going to do is
move through life feeling unwanted by people who don't even know how to love themselves,
never clearly got taught how to learn them to love themselves or others.
I'm sorry, we're not even going to have these people are so irrelevant to
us, Okay, so we're not eve gonna worry about those type of people.
And in terms of you saying, can you talk about like the forgotten
girl who always feels unwanted and alone? Maybe you have been forgotten in your
life at one point in your life. That's probably why you feel like this
Like this is usually these type of feelings actually come from something like stemmed way
younger than the first experience that you've maybe been aware of feeling like this.
So whatever that is, like understanding maybe where that came from this unlike forgotten
wound, I should say, but you don't have to move through life being
forgotten anymore. But it's gonna be up to you to look at yourself like
you are no longer forgotten. And how you do that is you first look
at yourself like you're unforgettable. Okay, And I know that it can be
hard to look at yourself like you're chosen when there's people literally in front of
your face saying I don't choose you and I don't like youness that, but
I think, like what helps for me at least what helped for me when
I was in high school, especially be somebody who didn't get chosen, didn't
get chosen at all, Like I really just didn't like myself, was realizing
like, Okay, I'm around people who clearly just don't have the capacity to
accept me. So I'm not going to try and even like chase these type
of people. And I'm also not going to wait for them to validate myself
and tell me that I'm amazing and that my skin is great or my hair
is great or whatever. I'm going to decide that for myself first, which
I'm not saying it's fair, right A lot of the times, like life
is not fair? Was it like fair that I had to go to a
school where there was nobody of color and no one was no one even knew
how to praise somebody of color or like whatever. Like it was crappy,
it really was. But I just decided, like, you know what,
this is my life circumstance right now, I am going to decide that I'm
beautiful and worthy, and I'm going to work on myself, not from a
place of changing anything about me, actually racing myself and my uniqueness and I'm
going to continue to move through the world and the world will reflect it back
to me. But guess what, the world is not going to reflect it
back to you right at the beginning. And I think that's where we get
caught up as like, Okay, we're going in this self love journey and
I'm gonna accept myself and I'm gonna like, oh, I love my natural
hair now. And then you go out and like nobody's like commenting on your
natural hair, like nobody's like choosing you or whatever. Do not use that
as evidence to fall back Why because you don't fall back on it accepting and
loving yourself. That's just, in my opinion, in a little bit of
flawed thinking, but in terms when you're saying, and how can she start
feeling more valued? Stop waiting for other people to validate you, to tell
you you're pretty, to tell you you're beautiful, to tell you that you're
successful this, that, and listen, I'm not gonna say that you're not
a human being and you don't want that, and you shouldn't get that in
your life. Of course, this is why we do the things that we
do, is because we want validation and love from other people. And it's
it's so crappy that you didn't get that. It's so crappy that we all
in some sense did not get that. Life is not freaking fair. I
hate it. But all we can do now moving forward is say, whoa,
Okay, this is what it was. I just didn't get this love
that I actually inherently deserved. I deserve it. Now. I am going
to do my best to look at myself as valuable and lovable and do the
things that I need to do, which I mean, I'm going to talk
about a few more things, so maybe this will help you. I don't
know your certain circumstances, other than you said your skin color, which is
very like it's not an easy topic to talk about, but especially coming from
somebody who's just mixed, right, But I think you have to be the
one to decide. You have to be the one to decide that you are
valuable and you have to stop waiting for people to tell you that and stop
surrounding yourself with people who aren't valuing you. At the end of the day,
right, it's not your fault that you feel these ways, and these
things might have happened to you in your life, but it a lot of
the times it is our fault in the sense of where we continue to place
our energy and our attention and our time and our focus. You have the
ability to take your focus off of the people who are not valuing you and
onto people who do. And maybe that will take some time, but you
need to first take that spotlight off of everyone else, everyone else. Stop
searching for everyone else to validate you, and validate yourself. Love yourself,
decide that you are worthy. And this goes with any aspect of things,
and I'll bring it back down to social media. I decided that I wanted
to do social media. I decided that what I had to say was great.
I didn't go out and survey people and to ask people, what do
you guys think? Should I do this? Should I do this? Should
I do this? No? I'm deciding why because everyone has their own personal
opinion and preference anyways, Right, so I could get a bunch of people
that say, yes, amazingly, should go do it, But then there's
going to be half the world that say, no, that's not a good
idea. What do you do you want in your life? Go for it
and stop asking people. And I think as you grow up, you start
to realize there's just no point, like there's not a like, stop asking
people to valuate in whatever, because the end of the day, you're gonna
do. You're gonna do what you really want anyways, and even if people
tell you not to do the thing that you want to do, you're gonna
still have that desire to do it. So there's no point in asking.
And now, obviously it's good to ask for advice and just that, like
we need some direction in our lives, but you know, when you're asking
way too much. Anyways, that was kind of a tangent. I hope
that helps you, know what. I just want to quickly mention, there's
a video that's going live that's so funny. It's ten o'clock right on the
dot. So my video has gone live on my main channel regarding how to
become your Own it Girl, which I will get my editor to link in
the description, and I talk a lot about getting to the root of self
hate. And if you want, I guess more advice on that, then
please go watch that video. Also, I actually was talking about skin color
in that video because I had seen on my YouTube back end that there was
high search terms for people who are looking to whiten and enlighten their skin,
the black and brown community. And this is a like eight point six billion
dollar industry. It is not gone away. I know a lot of you
guys aren't interested in that type of content, but it is still on the
internet and it breaks my heart. And I was talking about that in that
video. So if you want more content on that, please go watch that
video. All Right, somebody said I'm too insecure to go on dates.
What if he rejects me and when he sees me for the first time,
I don't really know. I guess, like what happens when he sees me
for the first time, or I guess what if he rejects me when he
sees me for the first time. This is the energy that you need to
embody. This is a This really helps me when it comes to confidence.
Is this energy of or the saying of okay and okay and okay. If
you don't like me and you reject me, okay, and what is it
the end of the world. No, it's not, but we just make
it the end of the world. Right. If he rejects you, okay,
he's not for you. Why do we have to internalize everything, right,
because that's what we do, especially with men. Oh my god,
he doesn't like me. He doesn't want to do that. Listen. I
remember this one time. It was honestly, like, listen, I'm not
a narcissist in any capacity when it comes to like me in character energy,
Like I'm a very humble person. But I don't get rejected with men,
mainly because I don't actually like pursue men very often. But for the most
part, like I don't really have that, but for sure, like even
in high school, I'm sure like there's guys who like didn't like me,
but I just like whatever, who cares. But there was a specific time
where I went on a date and he was cute, Like we were talking
through a dating app and he had known like one of my friends, so
it was like kind of cool. And then we went on a date and
I thought it went pretty good. And then he texted me after and he
was like, hey, like it was so lovely meeting you. Whatever,
I just don't think there's a romantic connection blah blah blah, And I was
like so triggered. I was like what. First of all, I really
didn't I don't know, like I guess I just didn't think about it too
much. But when he said like, oh, there wasn't a romantic connection,
blah bah blah, I was kind of like, Okay. At first
I wanted to internalize it, but then I was thinking, this is not
to throw him under the bus, because maybe it was just me, right,
He couldn't he obviously there's something about me he just didn't like, which
is totally fine, like whatever, but he was like really awkward and like
nervous, and he sat beside me at one point, and I feel like
he wanted to go in for some sort of kiss, but like it just
didn't happen, and it was really awkward, and I just feel like that
moment, I think he realized there was for some reason, there wasn't like
the chemistry, Like we couldn't get it, we couldn't do it. I
don't know. But anyways, I don't know why I even said that part,
but that's just like kind of what I thought. But I didn't go
on in my life and continue to internalize it like, oh my god,
I'm ugly. Oh my god, I'm the worst person. Oh my god,
I'm not gonna get what I want because the end of the day,
it's like, this guy means nothing to me. I don't even know this
guy. And you know what, It's okay if I'm not his cup of
tea? Does it kind of like sting a little bit? Like damn,
Like you don't think that I'm like gonna be your wife, Like you're you
don't want to marry me. But like, at the end of the day,
this is just clearing energy in a room for you to find exactly who
you're meant to be with. So don't take rejection as anything other than redirection.
And honestly, when it happens, if it does, which it probably
won't, like it's really rare, I feel okay, and don't internalize it.
That's all I can say. And at the end of the day,
when it comes to dating specifically, and this is something that I had to
do when I started like dating for the first time, and I was so
insecure, and I was so shy, and I was so nervous to go
on dates when I was young, Like I didn't start dating guys and talking
to guys until like seventeen or eighteen, like genuinely, because I was like
so afraid, because I was so insecure, but I started to realize,
like, the only way I'm going to get good at this is if I
practice. So I have to like have this okay fit energy and just you
know what, go balls to the walls and go on a freaking date.
And if he doesn't like me, he doesn't like me, because at the
end of the day, I'm never going to get to my dream man if
i can't go on this freaking date. You know, like I got to
get through it somehow, some way, And what helps is just accepting that,
you know what, I'm not a perfect human being and I'm perfect for
somebody, but maybe it's not for him. So again, don't internalize it,
go on a date, go do whatever you need to do. Don't
give this guy also or this person like put them on such a huge pedestal
because at the end of the day, you don't even really know them.
And when it comes to main character energy, it's like you kind of want
to look at yourself as the highest form. Although somebody had also asked like
the difference between being a main character and like being a narcissist, which I
totally get. People get turned off with main character energy because they're like,
wow, you're just like being a narcissist. No, people who need to
embody, main character, energy are the people who are people pleasers, anxious,
attached girlies, girls who are insecure. Okay, we're not talking about
the people who are already self absorbed and Realistically, as long as you're still
caring about other people and being respectful and being humble, don't be afraid to
care about yourself and put the spotlight on yourself. You know when you need
to put your spotlights on yourself versus other people. Someone asked how to stop
comparing myself or herself to Instagram models or women in general. Honestly, when
it comes if you like really struggle with social media, I would say take
a break. Unfollow. Unfollow girls who are clearly making you think about body
image all day. I don't care. I don't care if you want to
like Oh, but I need to be I need to be strong, and
I shouldn't I should be able to look at these girls. Yeah you can,
and you will once you work on your self confidence. But right now,
best thing that you could do unfollow Stop looking at the stuff. Why
does it matter to you? It's not really relevant right and I'm saying that
like with love in a way, because like I think about my younger self
of you know, I cared so much about this stuff that wasn't even important
at the end of the day, Like an Instagram model's body is not important
to me, not relevant. And I'm not saying like this person's Instagram model
is like not inherently worthy and like valuable and like important, But I just
mean, in general, especially to somebody on the internet, like across the
world, most likely irrelevant and okay, cool, amazing, like you have
a great body, but like we can continue on with our day. But
if it's consuming you mute, unfollow, get off of social media for a
moment, think about all the other things that are more important than body image,
just for a little bit, and that will help. Also, so
in terms of like women in general, like I get it. I don't
know. I just think, like, you know, not everyone is going
to have a picture perfect body. By the way, also, like with
Instagram or even in real life, if you see people who are flawless,
drop dead gorgeous have amazing bodies, not everyone has that, And it's okay
if people do, like okay, like if somebody has a great body's like,
oh wow, that's amazing, and then you go on with your day.
You know, like, it doesn't have to be this big thing.
I think that we make it a big thing. Right. It's like you're
making meaning out of yourself based off of what you see about another girl.
Another person's beauty should have nothing to do with you. You can look at
them as inspiration. Oh my god, how you do your hair, how
do you do your makeup? Oh my god, I love your outfit.
But when it comes to this point of like, oh my god, I'm
a piece of crap. No, but I think what does help when you
go into the world, especially like women in general, if you're seeing people
who are pretty and beautiful and amazing. When you work on yourself, you
tend to stop again having these ruminating thoughts because when you go out and let's
say you do have a natural thought of, oh my god, she's so
amazing, you can think about yourself and oh my god, I'm so amazing.
Why Because I accept myself for who I am and my flaws don't.
I don't expect myself to be perfect. I don't need to be perfect.
I'm not prioritizing body image over everything. Life is so much more beautiful outside
of this. Also, I show up for myself. I go to the
gym, I take care of myself. I speak to myself kindly. I'm
a great person. I have a great personality. I'm doing this with my
finance. Is this, that and the third? Okay, So build yourself
up as much as possible, and as you do that, just take a
break from Instagram. Like that's all I can say. Someone said, is
it necessary to always be dulled up to show that you have main character energy?
No? I think sometimes getting ready can help you feel good about yourself
and pick up your energy and your mood. I was even talking about this
on TikTok. How lately, I've just been getting ready the mornings, which
is like putting on some blush and some mascara, even if I'm not planning
on filming, and it just makes me more motivated to film or to do
things, even though I really like I will film and I'll do most things
with no makeup anyways. But there's something about the energy in which you have
a practice of like getting ready and stuff. But I work for myself and
I am a very efficient person, and I don't like to do too much
and spend too much time on my looks anyways, so that's why I kind
of moved away from caring so much about that. But it is nice to
get ready and like feel good, but you do not need to look like
one of those dark feminine energy girlies on YouTube with like in order to have
dark femin and energy that's not or main character energy. That's not gonna be
the thing. You could look freaking flawless and have the worst confidence ever.
Quite frankly, I've met some of the most beautiful, stunning girls in real
life no photoshop needed, okay, and they are very insecure. So no,
you don't. You don't have to spend a lot of money on having
main character energy. Again, it's your essence. And if we're talking about
let's say men are women when they're looking at us, okay, yeah,
maybe like the way you present yourself, yeah okay, like you got your
hair down a little bit, this, that and the third. But at
the end of the day, how do you sound, And I don't mean
the tone of your voice, Okay, like you can I don't know.
I think you can have finesse however you sound, but like, are you
humble? Are you kind. Are you curious about other people? Are you
self accepting? Are you relatable? To me? That is confidence to me,
that is meming character energy. To me, that's attractive. I'm attracted
to a person in a room that is relatable and nice and welcoming and humble,
that somebody who I can aspire to be. But also they don't make
me feel like complete crap about myself. That's how I like to exude a
main character energy in a way of like, Okay, I'm going to respectfully
take my crown because yes, I can accept acknowledgment and love for myself.
I love myself. I can take compliments. That's amazing, but not in
a place of I'm taking a compliment and I'm so good, I'm better than
you. I'm trying to inspire other people to be like me as well,
Like babe, you can have this too. I'm loving myself, but so
can you, you know what I mean. So that's kind of like how
I think about it. Another person said this is like a two parter,
So I'm gonna try and like understand what she's saying. I think she does
or sorry, I think I do. She said the pressure talk about the
pressure to be a bad bee around my black community, and the pressure to
feel pretty around my non black community. And then she said, I'm quiet,
I'm modest and don't break brag about my looks or guys. But I'm
perceiving as insecure. Help. Okay, So I don't know if you're mixed
or you just have black friends and white friends who are like very separate.
I have, like this is my entire life, okay, growing up as
a mixed kid and being yep, too black for the white kids in a
way and too white for the black kids in a way. But I don't
really go through life identifying too much like that, like woe is me,
because it's like not that deep. Like I can still very much so fit
in with black friends and mixed friends, and I can very much so fit
in with my white friends. I feel like I'm a good mix. I
know myself, I know how I want to present in life, and I
don't care what anyone else thinks. I don't care if I'm too white,
I don't care if I'm too black, don't care. So in terms of
like the pressure to be a certain way around like the black community, like
let's say, be a bad bee that that's just what it is. Pressure,
Right, there's people who are always gonna pressure you to be who they
are. You don't have to be it at all. And I mean,
I'm not gonna obviously put a blanket statement in saying all of the black community
want to be these like bad bees, because there are so many people in
the black community who are like, like modest, they're conservative, they're I
don't know, like opposite of that. So like, you can be whoever
you want in this world. And if people are pressuring you to be like
them, just understand there's a level of them not accepting you, in which
why would you want to be around people who don't accept you in a way?
You know, and you're obviously gonna vibe with certain people, like it's
okay that maybe the bad bees don't really vibe with you, but like that's
fine. And then you're saying the pressure to feel pretty around non black communities.
So I don't know if you're talking in the sense of like fitting into
the European like beauty standards or whatever. But again, it's just it's pressure,
and you don't have to give in to that pressure. I understand that
it's hard, but it's like you're a unique human being. I don't know
what you look like, but you gotta embrace what works for you, right,
And what you said here is I'm quiet, I'm modest, I don't
brag about my looks or guys, and I'm perceived as insecure. You're just
perceived as insecure. Who cares people who are perceiving you as insecure because you
are modest and you decide that you don't want to show off everything that's beautiful,
amazing, continue to do you. You don't brag about guys, and
you're not interested in whatever it is oh amazing own that people. You are
just being a mirror to people. If people are trying to tear you down,
you're just reflecting to them what they aren't. And somebody who is really
confident and loves themselves understands that there's going to be a reflection always back to
them. But that doesn't mean that you need to tear that person down or
for you to feel better about yourself, because you just know that you are
you or I am I, and you are you. That's not the way
that it's supposed to come out whatever, And that's that like when I move
through life now, when I see somebody who's different than me. Now,
obviously it's natural to like have different needs and wants and like not to vibe
with certain people. But like, you know, okay, somebody dresses like
not modest, but let's say I do, which I don't really dress.
I don't dress modest, but you know, people want to show girls want
to show their bodies as that. Okay, I personally don't vibe with it.
I wouldn't do it. I've stopped doing it. I should say,
like, I still show my body. I have like bikini photos and stuff
on Instagram, So I'm not like very very modest, but whatever. Like,
there's certain niches in certain like styles that I don't like, Like I
personally like wouldn't do that, But I'm not going to tear you down like
I'm just going to If I'm going to use an example, let's say my
podcast, like I'm going to shed light onto things that I did and what
I learned wasn't going to get me what I wanted. But the end of
the day, it's like, do whatever you want. I'm not gonna you
down and say that you're like a crappy human being. I'm just saying personally.
The reason why I wouldn't, let's say, dress a certain way on
Instagram or this that is because I know or that will lead me in terms
of conversations with men or relationship with things like that. But that's like the
extent that I'm going to and I'm not going to make you feel like crap
about yourself, like I would never do that, So not me making this
about me when I'm answering your guys is a question. But at the end
of the day, you're just being perceived as insecure. You are not insecure
because you want to move through life a certain way and own that. And
the more that you own that, those people will slowly fall off by don't
need you go away and you will find people who are more aligned to you.
You just have to create that space and you have to trust that those
people are coming. Someone said how to slowly rebuild confidence and trust within yourself
after events over the years that made you shy and doubtful of yourself. So
I would say, in terms of let's say you dishonoring yourself at one point
or making mistakes, I'm not sure, like I know she didn't technically say
that it was her that did that. Maybe it was like other situations outside
of her. But let's say, like you made mistakes in the past.
I always like to look at it from a standpoint of Okay, I did
certain things in my past based off of what I knew, based off of
being in survival. At the end of the day, we do everything essentially
based out of survival. Now, this is not to accept and condone all
of the mistakes or all the stupid, stupid things that we did. I'm
not saying that because people always say, oh, who, you're gonna accept
when people like do these crappy things or like whatever. No, I'm just
saying, like, it doesn't help you when you can't let go of the
fact that you made a mistake. Right, So I think you just have
to forgive yourself for the things that you did in survival mode, but also
like understand when things didn't work out or like events over the years that might
have made you shy or whatever, understand that a lot of these things are
really just learning lessons. Don't ever look at any sort of loss or mistake
as anything other than a learning lesson. And maybe it's taken you years for
you to actually learn the lesson. Which then forgive yourself for not learning the
lesson for whatever reason, because there's a reason why you didn't end up learning
the lesson. Now that you're learning the lesson, you're seeing whatever's going on,
learn from it, and continue to do better. That's all you can
do. But also, when it comes to rebuilding confidence and trust within yourself,
I've been saying this, the way you are going to build trust within
yourself and real confidence is if you try. Okay, So even if you're
trying to do something again for the first time and you lost self respect,
you lost trust, you lost whatever, there is going to be a level
of you being able to tell yourself okay, like forgive myself this that.
But the only way you're really going to build trust within yourself is if you
practice and you do it. When you do something, now you have one
piece of evidence to show yourself that you actually did it right, versus no
evidence or the crappy evidence that you once had. So you got to take
baby steps with everything when you are trying to practice something. Someone said how
to feel confident when aging. I hate the feeling of getting older. Well,
I'm twenty eight and I feel like turning twenty eight was the year for
me that I really like, actually looked I know this is kind of morbid,
but like looked death in the eye in a way of really realizing,
like I'm getting older. But I was looking at it in the sense of
genuinely like wow, like I want to live, like I have so much
life to live, so many relationships to build, like children, family,
everything, Like oh my god, I don't want to die. I don't
want to leave. So I don't know if you're thinking about it in this
or you're thinking about it in terms of like self image, which I guess
can tie in together, but I just think like it's a normal process of
life. So this is not to always like rid the feeling of that,
like it's it's happening. We're all getting older, which we can just use
this as fuel to really live more present in our lives. But the way
I look at it, and I'm only twenty eight, and I know it's
young, even though right now I do definitely feel the oldest I've ever felt,
obviously because I'm twenty eight or sorry, did I say twenty nine?
I don't even know, Oh my god, whatever. In my head,
I'm basically thirty, but I just think every year gets better, Like there's
so many and there's so many more chapters of our lives. Like, Okay,
we can mourn the loss of our twenties, we can mourn the loss
of our teens and this that, but it's like, okay, our teens
where our teens or twenties where our twenties and in our thirties are gonna be
your thirties and our freaking you know, like there's so many chapters of life.
We were not here to relive the same like twenties, you know,
like we're literally not. Life is cyclical on a monthly freaking scale. We
are cyclical as women for our cycles. So like, let's just be what
it is, and there's gonna be so much beauty that comes out of every
year of your life. Every year of your life is like a chapter right
in a book. But you know, your thirties are going to be so
much different your twenties. You're gonna be like most likely, and who knows,
because everyone's on a different path. But this is how I look at
it. At least, you know, I'm building more of my career and
who I am, and I'm getting more clear with who I want us to
be surrounded by and my boundaries and my needs and my wants and more healing
work and self improvement and better finances, and then I'm gonna be you know,
a relationship, a husband, children, all of those phases to come.
I'm not afraid, I'm really not I'm really excited. I'm good like
here, like too, like I'm chilling. But like you have to have
that mindset switch. Someone said how to have main character energy in the workplace
When you work with competitive people, just use them as motivation. You don't
need to be looking at people who are being successful as in your as you're
in a competition in the sense of there's not enough, That's what I mean.
Like, yes, we're technically in competition with certain people in some aspects,
but tap into the abundance mindsets and not scarcity and being like, oh
my god, there's only one of this thing, and like this person's gonna
get it energy even if logically or like practically there is tap into abundance.
There's enough going where everything's going to work out exactly the way that you need
it too. The universe, God has your back, whatever it is,
and just use them as motivation. Just use them as inspiration. Just use
them even if they get something that you have. Okay, great, that
shows me that I can get it too. When I see people who are
blowing up on YouTube, or I've watched influencers blow up, or this person
got a brand deal over here, or my friend's killing it in this industry
over here, Great, that's just more evidence for me to remind myself and
to continue to move in the direction of abundance. That is the only thing
that I'm looking at things as I I'm no longer looking at things that people
have as oh my god, I can't get that. When I see people
have beautiful, healthy relationships husbands, especially on TikTok, because I we see
this in the comment section, you know, like beautiful relationships. I tend
to not romanticize other people relationships online because you just never know, and I
just don't really I don't really like that. But when I see that stuff,
the only thing I think now is Wow, I cannot wait for my
husband and how great he's going to treat me just like this or even better.
It's going to be different, not going to be just like this,
but like like that. But I do see some comments being like wow,
Like it's very much so like wow, like I wish I could have that,
and like I'm not going to get that, and why why aren't more
men like that, and like where do you find them? And oh my
god, like no, we're not doing that. Someone said how to have
confidence speaking in larger groups. I would just say, start with baby steps.
Like the way I got more confident with speaking on camera is getting on
camera and speaking and not being comfortable and trying and trying again. But do
everything with baby steps instead of like putting yourself like too much in like social
anxiety or like whatever you have to do, but also practicing indifference in the
sense of not putting the people who you're speaking to on this huge pedestal like
they're like telling you that you're gonna be super wrong or judging you whatever.
Like people are here to listen to you. People are also normal human beings
who are actually just craving relatability, So like you can look at it like
that as well, like you know, come up with a certain like mindset
of these people are just like me, like friend vibes. I don't know.
That's how I think about when it comes to like speaking on a podcast
like at the end of the day, like, you guys are just my
friends, Like we're just keykying. If I met you in real life,
I would be having these same conversations. Yes, maybe I am helping you
guys out and guiding, but you do that in friendships, so it's not
like the end of the world. But also tapping into self acceptance. You
don't have to be perfect. Like when I'm speaking on the podcast, I
mess up my words and that's fine. I usually edit it out. But
even if I'm saying something that maybe in my head, I'm like, oh,
I should have probably said it that way, I don't. It's fine
that I got it out and people will understand it. And people don't.
It's fine. You know, I'll have another chance to say it again.
I don't have to say it the most perfect way like everyone else. Like
again, you got to tap into self acceptance. Someone said how to have
confidence around men? And would you have the confidence to ask somebody out.
I think how you have confidence around men is to stop trying to have confidence
around men and just be yourself. And this is my personal experience. I
see it all around me, and I have to still remind myself of this
but the best thing that you can do, especially with men. I find,
especially with men, they actually just want you to be yourself. And
it's so wild because we do the complete opposite. We are trying so hard
to not be ourselves. We are trying to use makeup and outfits and act
a certain way and say the right thing at the right time and respond a
certain way. Just be your freaking self, Oh my god. And it's
so funny because I used to, like when I first started to realize this
was I would always tend to be myself around men who I didn't want,
and they would be obsessed with me, and I would realize, oh my
god, it's because I'm being myself. And anytime that I really wanted a
man who like I was just like obsessed with and like they were my type,
I would always find myself trying to put a mask on. And I
think as you get older and accept yourself, you realize, like, first
of all, men don't want the mask anyways, the good men. But
it's just there's no point because you have to be yourself. Right. Why
am I putting on a filter on myself? I just mean an actual,
like physical life like filter on myself when that's not even me. At the
end of the day, if I'm going to be with this man, I
have to be myself. So start trying to be yourself. Take off the
mask, be very aware when you you know you're trying to like morph yourself
into being this. And the third even I even give this example, and
this is like just like a physical example, and it's whatever. Some people
might not like to do this, but when I go on dates with men,
I do not get myself all done up to the damn nines. I
just don't do it because this there's a few reasons, one being I just
don't really move like that, Like it's very rare that I get myself up
like done to the nines. And I also just want to present myself in
a way that's just actually me. And I also just don't want to train
a man to like always be expecting that to be honest if I'm being honest.
But and like also it's just like a treat for them whatever. So
I don't know, you just got to be yourself. Though. Also in
regards to would you have the confidence to ask somebody out, it's not that
I don't have the confidence, but I personally wouldn't ask a man out.
Maybe if it depends on the certain circumstances. This doesn't mean that I wouldn't
make myself known or available or open have my energy open to a man,
because a man really does need to know that you are interested in some sense.
But it's not in the sense of you walking up to him and being
like, Hey, do you want to go on a date with me?
It's not really that you don't really need to do that. It depends on
the situation at hand, and we can have a whole separate conversation about that.
So let me know in the comments if you want that, or on
the podcast regarding men and dating. But being yourself, for one, when
you're yourself, your energy is open, you're curious, you aren't in your
head, You're focused on you know, out here, and that signals to
a man that he can walk up to you. That signals to a man.
Oh, she seems inviting. Let me go see. That signals to
a man. Okay, maybe I'll get rejected, but she's allowing me to
come to her with something. So in my personal opinion, it's not about
not having confidence. I just would rather a man come to me and you
know, kind of court me in that sense. But I do make it
known, and I do have a warmth, and I do have an openness
energy to a man so that he knows he can come. But there's still
men who will come up to me and just try and whatever. But they'll
get the hints. They will get the hints respectfully, not rude, not
in a rude way, but they'll get the hint. Last question, somebody
said, at home, I always feel confident, but when I go out,
I get insecure. What can I do? I think what you need
to do is practice and baby steps being more yourself. I don't know what
it is that you're completely like insecure about, but let's say it has something
to do. Let's say you're insecure about your arms, and you're not insecure
at all at home because nobody sees you. But when you go out,
first obviously it's you have to give the energy of like okay, and like
if somebody ever like made fun of your arms, like didn't light your arms,
like okay, and those people are not for you, but also tapping
into the acceptance of okay, I have these arms, so like what am
I gonna do about that? But also stop hiding yourself so much, because
I just remember, like when I was in high school, I was so
insecure about certain parts of my body, and then I would just continue to
make it worse by hiding myself when I would go to school, like wearing
like long hoodie, big hoodies and stuff, and like not giving myself the
opportunity to practice being myself. And the way you practice being yourself is maybe
maybe you're just gonna take off your your sweater around your closest friends and you're
gonna start to show yourself subconsciously. Hmm, nobody's saying anything about my arms
actually, and I actually feel really good not having a freaking sweater on in
the middle of summer. So yeah, I'm gonna continue to do this.
And what you find is usually you start to be more in the present.
You start to not focus on your arms because you're you're in a safe space,
and then you tend to oh, okay, you want to go like
to the store. Yeah, let's go to the store. US three,
no sweater needed. Walking to the store and you run into some kids at
first, Maybe you'll have that insecurity. Depending on how much you're like really
focusing on it. But the more times that you're present, you forget that
you even have the sweater on. And guess what, these kids over here
didn't even say anything but your arms and they don't care. And now you've
shown yourself. Oh my god, it's not even that big of a deal,
right, So it's like baby steps with things, even when it comes
to like another example with like physical appearance. I didn't like how I looked
in bathing suits, so I would always hide myself. But I would even
hide myself at home. So I started walking around in my bathing suits and
like started looking at myself in the mirror and not telling myself, oh my
god, you have the hottest body, because like I just like couldn't believe
that. But I would go in the mirror, look at myself and be
like, okay, it's fine, Like, yes, this is my body.
Can I look in the mirror and just accept the fact that this is
my body? Like that is the first step, right, And the more
times it got used to seeing my body in a sense of seeing my body
and not telling myself I'm wrong for how my body looks, and more times
I did that again, then I'd be able to have a little bit more
confidence to go out and safer spaces around friends and realize, Okay, I
accept my body. When you accept yourself, other people will accept yourself more.
Because you are showing up in that energy. People will conform to you.
And now you're probably saying no, but people do still say this,
that, and the third. If that's the case, they're not for you.
Stop moving around people who do not accept you one of two things.
They either conform or they either don't like who you are, and those people
are not for you. That's really just what it is. So with that
said, that's going to be everything. I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode.
There is a lot of confidence talk in this episode, but I love
talking about confidence because I feel like over the years, I've really built it
and I'm still working on myself. I'll just put out a disclaimer. Not
every single day I'm feeling myself, but the days that I don't feel myself,
I tap right into self acceptance. It's fine, you don't have to
be perfect. Who said? Who said? Okay, I don't need to
be flawless. Okay, my skin's breaking out right now, which I don't
know if you guys can see on camera, okay, and it's gonna go
away. And the more you detach and the more you like focus on other
things in your life, the skin gets back to normal whatever. You know
what I mean. So anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed again. Monday.
There's gonna be no episode, but just go binge watch some other stuff.
Everything that I will have that I mentioned will be linked down below,
including my book, The Ultimate Globe Guide. Can't wait for you guys to
get it. And I'll see you guys in the next one. Bye.