WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:03.359 Hi everyone, Welcome back to another podcast episode. My name is Alicia Gogin, 2 00:00:03.359 --> 00:00:06.360 the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, where I help you expand your 3 00:00:06.360 --> 00:00:09.519 mind and become more self aware so that you can glow up into the best 4 00:00:09.560 --> 00:00:13.679 version of yourself. Hello, Happy Thursday. If you're listening to this on 5 00:00:13.800 --> 00:00:19.160 a Thursday, I will be touching down in Miami when you're listening to this 6 00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:24.079 episode. So let's just pray that I'm getting some sort of sun because today 7 00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:27.920 in Toronto, right now, as I'm filming zero sun, can't see the 8 00:00:27.960 --> 00:00:31.199 sea in tower even if my life depended on it. I woke up at 9 00:00:31.239 --> 00:00:34.359 freaking four thirty am. What is going on with me? You know what 10 00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:40.000 it is. It's the freaking magnesium sleepy girl mocktails. It will get you 11 00:00:40.520 --> 00:00:44.000 because I went to sleep at like ten, knocked out, then woke up 12 00:00:44.039 --> 00:00:46.640 at like four thirty. I'm not complaining because I got so much done, 13 00:00:46.640 --> 00:00:49.679 but I am a little bit tired. I'm recording this at nine thirty am, 14 00:00:49.799 --> 00:00:52.439 so if I'm all over the place, I'm sorry. I don't know 15 00:00:52.439 --> 00:00:54.960 what to tell you, but I do need to tell you one thing, 16 00:00:55.479 --> 00:01:02.320 one main thing that completely allowed me to embody, main character energy. That's 17 00:01:02.320 --> 00:01:06.760 what the topic is going to be today. We're gonna talk about embodying main 18 00:01:06.840 --> 00:01:11.280 character energy, having confidence. I am going to give you definition. I'm 19 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:15.359 gonna tell you the one thing that really changed the game for me. And 20 00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:19.200 I'm going to answer a lot of your guys's questions in regards to main character 21 00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:22.000 energy and confidence because you guys had a lot of really good ones and I 22 00:01:22.040 --> 00:01:23.400 think a lot of you guys will relate. We are going to get into 23 00:01:23.439 --> 00:01:26.920 it, but first, my book, The Ultimate Globe Guide. If you're 24 00:01:26.920 --> 00:01:30.280 watching on YouTube, you can see it sitting beside me. It is out 25 00:01:30.840 --> 00:01:36.680 and it is released. Please, if you guys have pre ordered the book 26 00:01:36.840 --> 00:01:41.400 and as soon as you get it, please tag me on Instagram either my 27 00:01:41.519 --> 00:01:46.640 main Instagram Alicia Gogin and or the podcast The Globe Secret Podcast to show me 28 00:01:46.719 --> 00:01:49.840 that you've received it and let me know your feedback. Please let me know 29 00:01:49.879 --> 00:01:53.400 how you like the book, your your favorite parts, whatever it is. 30 00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:59.239 I can't wait to hear the feedback. Hopefully it's good. I've gotten some 31 00:01:59.680 --> 00:02:05.200 really good feedback already from some people who have read my like author's copies that 32 00:02:05.239 --> 00:02:08.560 I've given. But I'm excited for you guys. This is the year of 33 00:02:08.599 --> 00:02:14.080 glowing up. And when I come back from Miami, we are gonna do 34 00:02:14.199 --> 00:02:16.039 some sort of challenge. I'm gonna do it like I said on TikTok, 35 00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:20.240 but I will bring it to the podcast because I know not every single one 36 00:02:20.240 --> 00:02:24.479 of you watch my tiktoks, but we're glowing up, like and I'm coming 37 00:02:24.520 --> 00:02:28.319 back and then it's gonna be February and then March, so basically like summers 38 00:02:28.360 --> 00:02:30.680 here, guys. Okay, I cannot wait. Also one thing though, 39 00:02:31.560 --> 00:02:38.159 next Monday's episode there's not gonna be one because I just didn't have enough time 40 00:02:38.199 --> 00:02:42.919 to record one more episode before I leave for Miami, So you guys will 41 00:02:43.199 --> 00:02:47.080 not see an episode then. But that's fine. You guys can go look 42 00:02:47.120 --> 00:02:52.199 back on the library of podcasts that I do have. So I wanted to 43 00:02:52.240 --> 00:02:58.439 talk about main character energy because I feel like in my comments sections recently, 44 00:02:58.960 --> 00:03:05.159 and probably just the topics I've been talking about, I'm getting this sense of 45 00:03:05.280 --> 00:03:10.000 like we don't know our worth, Like where's the confidence in the girlies who 46 00:03:10.039 --> 00:03:14.039 are listening to the pod? You know? And I think this is just 47 00:03:14.080 --> 00:03:15.879 a good topic and a good reminder and a good, Like, let's get 48 00:03:15.960 --> 00:03:20.719 back on track of what is important, which is us type of energy, 49 00:03:20.759 --> 00:03:24.639 And like we know, having confidence and main character energy gets us the things 50 00:03:24.680 --> 00:03:28.080 that we want in our lives, because we go for what we want in 51 00:03:28.120 --> 00:03:30.680 our lives when we have confidence within ourselves and believe it within ourselves. So 52 00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:37.039 we just need to have a conversation about it. And I feel like there's 53 00:03:37.080 --> 00:03:43.319 so much discourse online regarding main character energy and I'm not even trying to bash 54 00:03:43.439 --> 00:03:47.000 other creators or whoever else is talking about these topics, because I think everyone 55 00:03:47.159 --> 00:03:54.520 has their own little tips on how to embody main character energy. I think 56 00:03:54.560 --> 00:03:59.759 I have my unique tips. I think I've tried other people's tips in terms 57 00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:03.000 of of we're gonna get into it. But even somebody had asked about, 58 00:04:03.199 --> 00:04:08.199 you know, dressing and looking a certain way and like using external things to 59 00:04:08.240 --> 00:04:12.560 make yourself feel like this main character and certain mannerisms and things like that, 60 00:04:12.680 --> 00:04:15.879 but that stuff never really worked for me. The thing that worked for me 61 00:04:16.120 --> 00:04:18.120 is I'm gonna tell you in a second, but I really just want to 62 00:04:18.120 --> 00:04:21.000 read out a definition of what main character energy is if you guys don't know, 63 00:04:21.040 --> 00:04:24.839 and I'm gonna give you my definition. So this is a simple Google 64 00:04:24.920 --> 00:04:30.079 search and I wrote in what is main character energy? And I got Main 65 00:04:30.160 --> 00:04:34.639 character energy is a characteristic that describes how a person prioritized themselves and their own 66 00:04:34.800 --> 00:04:41.040 happiness. Main character energy is typically associated with high confidence, self respect, 67 00:04:41.160 --> 00:04:45.199 and self love, which I feel like we all know that. But my 68 00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:50.680 personal definition of what main character energy is and how I see it is somebody 69 00:04:50.759 --> 00:05:00.480 who is themselves, somebody who is authentically themselves. How do you be authentic 70 00:05:00.519 --> 00:05:04.680 and be yourself? Though? And this was the one thing that really changed 71 00:05:04.680 --> 00:05:10.639 it for me. I had to learn how to love and accept myself for 72 00:05:10.800 --> 00:05:15.959 being a human being with flaws, making mistakes, not making the right decision 73 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:20.439 all the time, getting out of my own way, dropping perfectionism. In 74 00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:26.959 order for you to really actually like yourself, this, in my personal opinion, 75 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:30.879 requires you to like the parts of you that aren't picture perfect. I 76 00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:36.240 think that we are so good at loving ourselves on condition meaning I love myself 77 00:05:36.240 --> 00:05:39.680 when I show up for myself. I love myself when I'm hitting all my 78 00:05:39.720 --> 00:05:42.920 goals. I love myself when my skin is good today. I love myself 79 00:05:42.920 --> 00:05:45.360 when I'm on a weight loss journey. But what about the days when you're 80 00:05:45.399 --> 00:05:46.959 not. What about the days when your skin's not good, What about the 81 00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:50.639 days where you messed up? What about X, Y and Z? And 82 00:05:50.680 --> 00:05:55.720 you don't like yourself when you do those things. And that's to me what 83 00:05:55.839 --> 00:05:58.560 gets in the way of you really having main character energy, because the truth 84 00:05:58.839 --> 00:06:02.600 of the matter is is you are human. You are not perfect. Nobody 85 00:06:02.680 --> 00:06:08.800 is perfect. You don't go through life making the right decision every single second 86 00:06:08.920 --> 00:06:12.879 of the day. Okay, that's just the reality of it. And am 87 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:15.040 I saying, oh, We're just gonna like always go through life and not 88 00:06:15.160 --> 00:06:18.399 care about how we act or be and like self improve No, because the 89 00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:23.160 podcast is all about self improving. But the thing that changed the game for 90 00:06:23.279 --> 00:06:29.360 me in terms of confidence, main character energy improving myself is accepting that I'm 91 00:06:29.399 --> 00:06:31.480 a human being with flaws and I'm gonna make mistakes and I'm not going to 92 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:36.920 get in my own way and get wrapped up in these mistakes or these flaws 93 00:06:36.920 --> 00:06:42.600 that I have, or trying to change myself so much and try to be 94 00:06:42.639 --> 00:06:47.480 perfect because it just doesn't work. And I think that like when I really 95 00:06:47.480 --> 00:06:54.639 see somebody who is confident they are themselves, and when you think when you 96 00:06:54.720 --> 00:06:58.519 really think about somebody who's really themselves. They're real, Okay, they're not 97 00:06:59.079 --> 00:07:02.600 so primive proper, they make mistakes, there's something about and again like everyone 98 00:07:02.600 --> 00:07:08.639 has their preference in what you like in terms of realness, obviously, but 99 00:07:08.720 --> 00:07:14.040 I think main character energy is about being yourself. And how you be yourself 100 00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:18.959 is you accept the fact that you are a human being and you don't continue 101 00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:25.040 to put everything in your shadow and hate every part of yourself and reject every 102 00:07:25.079 --> 00:07:27.839 single part of yourself, and you realize, like, I don't need to 103 00:07:27.879 --> 00:07:32.040 reject so many parts of me that I maybe learned one day to hate and 104 00:07:32.079 --> 00:07:35.439 reject and deny and disown. Which is the reason why a lot of the 105 00:07:35.439 --> 00:07:41.560 times we struggle with even liking ourselves is because somewhere in our lives, in 106 00:07:41.639 --> 00:07:46.399 our journey you're on earth, we have been taught through society, through parents, 107 00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:49.240 through friends, toxic people, this that you can't act like that, 108 00:07:49.319 --> 00:07:53.319 you can't be like that, you're ugly if you like that, look like 109 00:07:53.360 --> 00:07:56.120 that, X, Y, and Z. And so it's no wonder that 110 00:07:56.160 --> 00:07:59.839 we don't like ourselves because everyone around us is telling us in our ears that 111 00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:03.160 you need to do this, that and the third so it's like a normal 112 00:08:03.199 --> 00:08:07.240 thing because we grow up wanting to have connection in love with other people, 113 00:08:07.319 --> 00:08:13.199 so we do our best to conform. But realistically it's not again about not 114 00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:16.439 working on yourself. But you can only conform so much. And I always 115 00:08:16.439 --> 00:08:20.279 think about this when it comes to my natural hair, Like I was only 116 00:08:20.279 --> 00:08:24.040 able to burn off my hair so much before my hair literally like started falling 117 00:08:24.040 --> 00:08:26.480 out to the point where it was like, I have to embrace my natural 118 00:08:26.480 --> 00:08:31.240 hair or run the risk of not ever having any healthy hair, Like I 119 00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:33.399 had to eventually just decide. And I'm not saying also, if you have 120 00:08:33.480 --> 00:08:37.159 curly hair, you can't get your hair however it is you want it. 121 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:41.799 But for me personally, it got to a point where I just my values 122 00:08:43.039 --> 00:08:50.039 my everything. I want health and I want nourishment for my body, my 123 00:08:50.120 --> 00:08:52.240 mind, my soul, my everything, and I know personally what's good for 124 00:08:52.440 --> 00:08:56.600 me. And that was learning how to embrace my natural hair. And I 125 00:08:56.600 --> 00:09:01.759 don't always wear my hair natural. I don't always not wear makeup, you 126 00:09:01.799 --> 00:09:07.600 know, but or I don't always whatever it is. But I give myself 127 00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:11.639 flexibility and I allow myself to be who I am as well. And it's 128 00:09:11.679 --> 00:09:16.320 not about oh, when my hair is not straight, I'm like not good 129 00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:20.720 enough. It's just my hair's not straight. Or when I'm not wearing makeup, 130 00:09:20.759 --> 00:09:24.120 I'm not good enough. It's just I'm Alicia without wearing makeup. I'm 131 00:09:24.200 --> 00:09:28.440 very like neutral about it. But I think we've learned okay. Well, 132 00:09:28.440 --> 00:09:30.879 when I'm not wearing makeup, or when my hair's not done a certain way, 133 00:09:30.960 --> 00:09:33.159 or I'm not acting a certain way, or I'm messed up, it's 134 00:09:33.200 --> 00:09:35.320 like you're bad, you're wrong or whatever, and you're not. You're not. 135 00:09:35.519 --> 00:09:39.159 You're just a person who didn't make that decision. Or you're a person 136 00:09:39.200 --> 00:09:43.320 who doesn't wear a makeup today or hasn't been wearing makeup today. You know 137 00:09:43.320 --> 00:09:48.600 what I mean. Now, Another reason why it's so important to accept yourself 138 00:09:48.679 --> 00:09:52.600 for your flaws, your mistakes. You're just being who you are, Like 139 00:09:52.600 --> 00:09:54.720 you didn't have to look at it as flaws or mistakes but whatever we'll use 140 00:09:54.720 --> 00:10:00.279 those terms. Is in order for you to really build confidence in your life, 141 00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:05.320 you have to be willing to try things out in your life because that's 142 00:10:05.320 --> 00:10:07.399 how you're going to get good at things and feel confident within yourself. Right, 143 00:10:07.600 --> 00:10:09.960 you can speak at words of affirmation all day and oh my gosh, 144 00:10:11.039 --> 00:10:13.440 kay, love you like, accept you like flaws? Is that? But 145 00:10:13.480 --> 00:10:15.600 the end of the day, how you build real confidence, though, is 146 00:10:15.639 --> 00:10:20.840 actually going out in the world and trying. If you're not accepting yourself though, 147 00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:24.639 and you leave no room for mistakes, for error, for flaws, 148 00:10:24.879 --> 00:10:30.600 you're not going to try. Why because you can't accept the fact that maybe 149 00:10:30.639 --> 00:10:33.000 you will be cringy at one point when you try something, or you might 150 00:10:33.039 --> 00:10:37.519 mess up, or you might make a mistake whatever. So that's why it's 151 00:10:37.559 --> 00:10:41.320 so important that you need to learn how to accept and love yourself because that 152 00:10:41.399 --> 00:10:45.960 allows you the ability to take that action to go out and try in your 153 00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:48.519 life. And when you try, that's how you build real confidence. People 154 00:10:48.519 --> 00:10:52.200 want to talk about all day, how do I build confidence? What's the 155 00:10:52.279 --> 00:10:56.200 key to confidence? You try, you practice. At the end of the 156 00:10:56.279 --> 00:10:58.360 day, we can tell ourselves all day how amazing and beautiful and da da 157 00:10:58.519 --> 00:11:01.679 dah this that the third that we are. Yes, we need that. 158 00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:05.159 Obviously, that's like the first step, but eventually you have to actually take 159 00:11:05.200 --> 00:11:07.240 the step. The same way when it comes to building anything in your life 160 00:11:07.279 --> 00:11:11.399 goals. You can sit here and make your dream board all day babe. 161 00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:13.559 But at the end of the day, you have to wake up in the 162 00:11:13.559 --> 00:11:16.399 morning and you have to take your feet out of your bed, get up 163 00:11:16.440 --> 00:11:18.919 and go do the thing that you said that you wanted to do. You 164 00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:20.639 have to take the action. It's not just gonna come to you. It's 165 00:11:20.679 --> 00:11:24.320 not just gonna knock on your door. It doesn't have to be hard, 166 00:11:24.679 --> 00:11:26.480 but the end of the day, we have to take the action. So 167 00:11:26.840 --> 00:11:31.120 it's really important to have that mindset of like understanding, I don't have to 168 00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:33.360 be perfect. I don't have to be fallless if I mess up whatever, 169 00:11:33.360 --> 00:11:35.320 who cares? Learning I'm learning, I'm learning. And I even said this 170 00:11:35.480 --> 00:11:39.919 on a TikTok. I said, if you want to win in life, 171 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:45.759 you have to be willing to try. You do not win in life if 172 00:11:45.799 --> 00:11:48.159 you don't try. Okay, And I even think about this when it comes 173 00:11:48.159 --> 00:11:54.720 to YouTube, podcasting, whatever in my life, I had to try. 174 00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:58.039 I had to be willing to try and be willing to fail, be willing 175 00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:01.879 to practice. So know that when it comes to building confidence in any area 176 00:12:01.879 --> 00:12:07.240 of your life, whether it's relationships, making more money, career, learning 177 00:12:07.279 --> 00:12:09.679 how to even just accept and love yourself, you're gonna have to practice, 178 00:12:09.679 --> 00:12:13.279 You're gonna have to try, and you're gonna have to leave room for Okay, 179 00:12:13.320 --> 00:12:18.519 maybe my first video is not gonna be flawless. And who is making 180 00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:20.519 it at the end of the world and the biggest deal you are at the 181 00:12:20.639 --> 00:12:24.000 end of the day, you are now Listen, you are because maybe in 182 00:12:24.039 --> 00:12:28.840 your past somebody has made it a big deal or somebody has told you that 183 00:12:28.120 --> 00:12:31.679 you know, you have to be perfect. So this is why it's so 184 00:12:31.720 --> 00:12:37.720 important for you to understand where you first picked up this idea that you had 185 00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:39.919 to be perfect. A lot of us had really strict parents. A lot 186 00:12:39.960 --> 00:12:43.840 of us are just trying to keep ourselves safe because maybe we got made fun 187 00:12:43.879 --> 00:12:48.000 of once in school or maybe again we see Like for me, I used 188 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:50.480 to always see girls who were praised that didn't look like me. So when 189 00:12:50.519 --> 00:12:52.720 I looked in the mirror and I saw myself, I'm like, oh my 190 00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:56.639 God, Like, let me try and hive myself and morph myself so that 191 00:12:56.679 --> 00:13:00.919 people don't like see me. But like, obviously that's not a healthy way 192 00:13:00.919 --> 00:13:03.039 to live now. I did talk a lot about this in my book The 193 00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:09.600 Ultimate Globe Guide. I talk about the cycles that I went through and how 194 00:13:09.639 --> 00:13:13.000 I was always trying to be on this pursuit of glowing up and like loving 195 00:13:13.039 --> 00:13:16.919 myself. But I really struggled with that because I had these deep rooted insecurities 196 00:13:16.960 --> 00:13:20.320 based off of just what I was going through my life. I was in 197 00:13:20.320 --> 00:13:24.879 survival mode. And a lot of you guys ask me this question in regards 198 00:13:24.919 --> 00:13:30.919 to how do you get over the fear of being seen? And I think 199 00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:35.000 that this what all the advice I just gave you is so relevant to this 200 00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:37.960 question if you continue to ask people, which is fine that you asked that, 201 00:13:39.320 --> 00:13:45.720 but it's like, your fear of being seen is really you fearing yourself. 202 00:13:46.240 --> 00:13:50.799 You don't allow yourself the opportunity to fail, to make mistakes, to 203 00:13:50.840 --> 00:13:54.559 be cringey, to be imperfect. You're so afraid to be seen because you're 204 00:13:54.559 --> 00:14:00.360 trying to be this picture perfect you. You have to practice being flawed human 205 00:14:00.399 --> 00:14:05.200 being realistically, the like it's really not about what other people are seeing about 206 00:14:05.240 --> 00:14:07.879 you. It's you're looking at yourself like, oh my god, I have 207 00:14:07.960 --> 00:14:11.960 to be this certain way, and because it's really hard to be pit like 208 00:14:13.080 --> 00:14:16.120 perfect or show up a certain way, I'm just like too afraid and I 209 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:18.360 can't do it. And like I have imposter syndrome. Da da da. 210 00:14:18.440 --> 00:14:22.879 You have that because you're afraid of seeing yourself for who you are. You 211 00:14:22.919 --> 00:14:26.919 got to go on this self acceptance journey. It changes the game. Like 212 00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:35.480 I used to never want to accept anything about myself because I made meeting out 213 00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:39.320 of it, Like, oh, like I'm not a worthy person if I 214 00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:43.879 make mistakes, I'm not gonna be loved. If I don't have a picture 215 00:14:43.919 --> 00:14:48.600 perfect body, I won't get X, Y and Z in my life, 216 00:14:48.639 --> 00:14:52.600 my wants and my needs met because I am myself, which is wild, 217 00:14:52.720 --> 00:14:58.279 but that's how we operate. But realistically, this is all ingrained beliefs that 218 00:14:58.320 --> 00:15:05.200 are actually not your truth. And when I was thinking about this topic, 219 00:15:05.559 --> 00:15:09.519 I just wanted to say, like, everyone has a right to be confident 220 00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:16.039 and take up space and to be seen in the world. But somewhere along 221 00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:20.519 your lines, you have been taught that you can't. Somebody's taken that away 222 00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:24.919 from you. But you need to understand, and I'm telling you this. 223 00:15:26.759 --> 00:15:31.320 Everyone has the right to take up space and be seen and be feeling confident 224 00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:33.840 in life. But it's going to be up to you, as an adult 225 00:15:33.960 --> 00:15:39.159 now, to remind yourself that to go on that journey to reparent yourself, 226 00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:46.240 to allow yourself to be released from this inner tyrant voice that keeps telling you 227 00:15:46.240 --> 00:15:52.120 you can't be seen, or you have to be perfect, or you can't 228 00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:56.039 do X, Y and Z. But these people can overhear Nope, we're 229 00:15:56.080 --> 00:16:00.000 not doing it. We're not doing it. So the the most important thing 230 00:16:00.120 --> 00:16:04.519 when it comes to main character energy is learning to tap into self acceptance and 231 00:16:04.519 --> 00:16:08.320 self love. And there's definitely a few questions that I will answer in regards 232 00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:14.320 to this, but you know, I think over my years, I just 233 00:16:14.360 --> 00:16:18.639 realized that I'm wasting so much time trying to be perfect and it doesn't even 234 00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:22.960 exist. And like, you can't you can't be everyone's cup of tea. 235 00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:30.080 You're not gonna have everyone like you. If people are even tearing you down 236 00:16:30.120 --> 00:16:33.279 for being who you are, those people are not for you. Like we, 237 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:36.159 I feel like a lot of us do know this. We just need 238 00:16:36.200 --> 00:16:38.120 to hear it again. But we we need to really practice that in those 239 00:16:38.120 --> 00:16:42.120 moments when we are, you know, trying to be perfect to the point 240 00:16:42.159 --> 00:16:45.919 where we don't end up doing anything in our lives or we feel who freaking 241 00:16:47.360 --> 00:16:48.679 We have to give the energy of who cares, and I know it's so 242 00:16:48.799 --> 00:16:52.639 much more like easier said than done, but I don't know. I just 243 00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:55.759 think like, as I've gotten older, I'm just so sick and tired of 244 00:16:56.679 --> 00:17:00.639 trying to keep myself in this small, little ca tained box because I'm too 245 00:17:00.679 --> 00:17:07.279 afraid to be seen for who I am, which is a actually a either 246 00:17:07.400 --> 00:17:12.359 flawed human being or just maybe people not everyone's cup of tea. Because that's 247 00:17:12.400 --> 00:17:15.960 how I felt really in high school, Like, you know, I didn't 248 00:17:15.960 --> 00:17:18.200 want to be myself because I'm like, oh, well, like these guys 249 00:17:18.200 --> 00:17:19.480 over here are not going to like me, or like these girls over here, 250 00:17:19.519 --> 00:17:22.279 I'm not going to fit in with them. Okay, if those guys 251 00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:26.039 don't like me over there, are they really my guys? No, they're 252 00:17:26.039 --> 00:17:27.680 not. Like at the end of the day, they're not. Or these 253 00:17:27.680 --> 00:17:30.720 friends who I don't fit in over here, Well, why is it that 254 00:17:30.759 --> 00:17:33.319 I don't fit in with them over here? Maybe because I don't look like 255 00:17:33.480 --> 00:17:36.400 Okay, just because you don't look like everyone doesn't mean also you can't fit 256 00:17:36.440 --> 00:17:38.000 in here, And like, who's to say that these people have an issue 257 00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:41.359 with that? But even if they do, then they're not your people. 258 00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:45.319 But also, why am I trying to move into spaces where it's completely opposite 259 00:17:45.319 --> 00:17:49.160 to me. Most likely that's because I'm trying to reject myself so heavily. 260 00:17:49.440 --> 00:17:53.079 This does not mean that you can't move in spaces that are different than you. 261 00:17:53.079 --> 00:17:59.559 You can. You can't pick up inspiration by people and makeup and hair 262 00:17:59.599 --> 00:18:03.920 and this of course not. But like, really getting to the root of 263 00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:10.720 where these beliefs and these thoughts are coming from will be so huge in your 264 00:18:10.759 --> 00:18:14.640 self acceptance journey. But again, my book really does address this, and 265 00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:18.079 it has journal pomps in the book, So if you're interested in The Ultimate 266 00:18:18.079 --> 00:18:21.640 Globe Guide, it'll be linked down below. All right, let's get into 267 00:18:21.839 --> 00:18:25.839 the Q and A because there is a lot of questions. So somebody had 268 00:18:25.880 --> 00:18:29.599 asked how to have main character, energy and confidence but still work on your 269 00:18:29.599 --> 00:18:33.920 flaws? And what I got from this question is basically like, how do 270 00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:40.480 I hope that this is maybe we could just reword this. How do I 271 00:18:40.519 --> 00:18:45.960 love and accept myself while still working on myself? And I think the key 272 00:18:45.039 --> 00:18:51.839 with still like working on yourself thing is accepting and loving yourself through the process 273 00:18:51.880 --> 00:18:56.359 of you not being your dream version yet instead of you being a tyrant on 274 00:18:56.400 --> 00:19:00.359 yourself and hating yourself until you get to the end result, Like I just 275 00:19:02.000 --> 00:19:07.640 never accepted my body on the pursuit of changing my body, and I know 276 00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:10.759 it kind of can be hard because it's like you're changing your body at the 277 00:19:10.759 --> 00:19:12.039 same time, so it's like, naturally, you're not gonna like your body 278 00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:15.279 that you have. But I just would always look in the mirror and be 279 00:19:15.319 --> 00:19:18.440 like, it's fine that I'm a little bit overweight right now. Why is 280 00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:19.799 this the end of the world. It's okay that I don't look like an 281 00:19:19.839 --> 00:19:22.559 Instagram model. Why is it the end of the world. And what I'm 282 00:19:22.599 --> 00:19:26.920 going to focus on is moving my body and eating correctly and taking care of 283 00:19:26.960 --> 00:19:30.519 myself from a place of I deserve it, from a place of this is 284 00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:33.759 what I should be doing in life, you know, not from a place 285 00:19:33.759 --> 00:19:37.400 of, oh my god, you need to work on yourself because you're inherently 286 00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:41.559 wrong, and also you have to fit in it with everyone else that no, 287 00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:45.440 you want to change from a place of self love and nourishment and love 288 00:19:45.480 --> 00:19:48.559 for yourself, and because this is something that you should be doing, like 289 00:19:48.599 --> 00:19:53.400 moving your body and eating correctly. Instead of moving your body eating correctly this 290 00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:57.799 that only because you're trying to get a means to an end. Understand the 291 00:19:57.920 --> 00:20:03.079 natural consequence of you taking care of your mental health and your physical health will 292 00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:07.480 be your beautiful body the way God intended at the end of the day. 293 00:20:07.599 --> 00:20:11.039 Okay, But what we are trying to do is not accept even what God 294 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:17.119 intended and the natural consequences of taking care of our unique selves. We're trying 295 00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:21.839 to morph ourselves into being somebody who were not even We're not even that person. 296 00:20:21.920 --> 00:20:23.839 We won't be that person. Why are we trying to be someone else 297 00:20:23.880 --> 00:20:27.440 that we're not? Right? And I talk about it in my book At 298 00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:30.720 the beginning of my glove journey, where I was so obsessed with Tumblr and 299 00:20:30.799 --> 00:20:33.960 girls who just didn't look like me, and I was like picking up these 300 00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:41.000 glow up habits and like workouts, dieting to try and morph myself into being 301 00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:47.359 somebody on my Tumblr blog that wasn't me, you know. And once I 302 00:20:47.400 --> 00:20:51.119 started to learn to love myself through the process, understand why even got to 303 00:20:51.400 --> 00:20:55.519 the place of unhealthy relationships with food and not taking care of myself, and 304 00:20:55.559 --> 00:20:57.400 I really started to learn how to love and repairent myself and take care of 305 00:20:57.400 --> 00:21:02.039 myself in a healthy way. I stopped caring about wanting to be the other 306 00:21:02.079 --> 00:21:04.640 girl, and I started caring about being becoming the best version of me. 307 00:21:06.240 --> 00:21:11.519 That's why I have this Glow Up podcast is because I really want to bring 308 00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:17.200 everyone's attention back to their unique self. Going on a globe journey is coming 309 00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:21.440 back home to yourself. It's not changing yourself and becoming someone else that you 310 00:21:21.559 --> 00:21:25.240 are not. So I think, like, how you know the difference is, 311 00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:30.839 you know, the type of habits that you're telling yourself that you need 312 00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:34.119 to do will tend to be like really really strict if it's coming from a 313 00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:38.359 place of self hate versus self love, and coming from a place of self 314 00:21:38.359 --> 00:21:45.000 love looks like not telling yourself to do the same hard, strenuous five am 315 00:21:45.079 --> 00:21:51.799 workout every single day, or you're a failure understanding that there's natural flows of 316 00:21:51.839 --> 00:21:55.400 life for women. I love to cycle, SAYNK. So I give myself 317 00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:57.880 like ease and grace. Also, when I'm not in the best mood, 318 00:21:59.000 --> 00:22:02.920 I don't like get I'm mad at myself for like not having so much energy 319 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:06.000 during the day, and I allow myself to just be who I am. 320 00:22:06.200 --> 00:22:10.039 I let my emotions out on the days that I feel like I am having 321 00:22:10.039 --> 00:22:15.079 a hard day, I don't beat myself up about something if I didn't come 322 00:22:15.119 --> 00:22:21.240 out with the best quality video, or I mess up my words, or 323 00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:26.319 you know, even if things don't work out in relationships, I'm not sitting 324 00:22:26.319 --> 00:22:29.680 here telling myself how bad of a human being I am. You know, 325 00:22:29.960 --> 00:22:33.279 I look at how I played a role in a relationship. I take ownership, 326 00:22:33.279 --> 00:22:36.759 I take responsibility, and I keep it moving like we know this, 327 00:22:37.319 --> 00:22:41.160 we know this. What's the opposite for you to continue to just beerate yourself 328 00:22:42.119 --> 00:22:49.119 every single day? Why are we doing that? Most likely we've been taught 329 00:22:49.119 --> 00:22:53.720 to do that from somebody in our past, but that's not us anymore. 330 00:22:55.119 --> 00:22:57.680 That doesn't serve us, So we're not doing that. So I hope that 331 00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:00.279 kind of answered the question. I kind of went on a tangent, but 332 00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:06.880 also in terms of like what helps me have main character, energy and like 333 00:23:06.920 --> 00:23:11.000 confidence within myself even as let's say I'm not like where exactly where I want 334 00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:14.039 to be is always just working on myself. Right. The way that you 335 00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:18.279 have confidence in your life is when you show up for yourself. Okay, 336 00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:23.799 So even if I don't feel fully confident in something that I have going for 337 00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:27.640 me in my life. Let's say I walk into a room where someone is 338 00:23:27.640 --> 00:23:33.200 like more successful than me. I tend not to feel like crap about myself 339 00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:37.640 so much when I know that I woke up that day and I was working 340 00:23:37.680 --> 00:23:41.839 on something similar to that, you know what I mean, like going out. 341 00:23:41.880 --> 00:23:45.039 Let's say, Okay, let's bring into like physical expearence. Let's say 342 00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:48.720 you go to the beach and you see these girls and they have amazing bodies, 343 00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:52.079 which, like, let's just okay, people have amazing bodies. It's 344 00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:53.880 great love that, but like, let's it's we're at the beach, like, 345 00:23:53.960 --> 00:23:56.559 let's have fun in the sun, and let's have a great time and 346 00:23:57.000 --> 00:24:00.640 embrace the vitamin D. Like bodies are like the least important thing. But 347 00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:04.039 let's say it's super important for you, and you recognize everyone has a great 348 00:24:04.039 --> 00:24:10.000 body, you tend to feel a little bit better about yourself. Even if 349 00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:15.119 you see somebody who's clearly reflecting a contrast which is different than you, which 350 00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:18.599 is fine. You can remind yourself, Okay, well I went to the 351 00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:23.200 gym today, So how much more am I gonna brate myself when I went 352 00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:26.839 to the gym today? I took care of myself. I'm drinking my water, 353 00:24:26.119 --> 00:24:29.799 I'm having my vitamins, I'm going to sleep at a good time. 354 00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:33.160 I'm having my journal practice, I'm working on my finances. I'm doing the 355 00:24:33.279 --> 00:24:37.519 damn thing right. So at the end of the day, I'm not gonna 356 00:24:37.559 --> 00:24:41.519 say that I just have confidence moving through life without doing anything in my life. 357 00:24:41.720 --> 00:24:45.920 I have confidence in those moments too, by simply reminding myself, well, 358 00:24:47.039 --> 00:24:48.440 I did do everything on my to do list today, So how can 359 00:24:48.480 --> 00:24:51.880 I really like get downe on myself? You know what I mean? Somebody 360 00:24:51.920 --> 00:24:56.079 asked, can you talk about the forgotten girl who always feels unwanted and alone 361 00:24:56.599 --> 00:25:00.920 and how she can start feeling more valued? And then she followed up saying, 362 00:25:00.960 --> 00:25:06.160 and the girl who always gets rejected anywhere because of her skin color. 363 00:25:07.319 --> 00:25:15.039 This makes me so infuriating when we I'm saying we, but like, really 364 00:25:15.160 --> 00:25:18.720 you, because I haven't really gone through much racism in my life, if 365 00:25:18.759 --> 00:25:23.599 I'm being honest. I'm a mixed girl. And although I did grow up 366 00:25:23.640 --> 00:25:30.200 in literally all white school, I for sure felt different. I for sure 367 00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:34.359 felt different, but it wasn't really a skin color thing too much. And 368 00:25:34.359 --> 00:25:37.960 and I didn't really have. I mean, I definitely had a few people 369 00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:41.640 a few times in my life where they said something about my skin color back 370 00:25:41.839 --> 00:25:47.200 in high school. But my parents were really good at just reminding me, 371 00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:49.880 like people can be very ignorant. But this just inviuriates me because it really 372 00:25:49.920 --> 00:25:55.279 really just sucks, and I hate this that, like you have to move 373 00:25:55.319 --> 00:25:59.000 through life like feeling like you're not enough because your skin color, which by 374 00:25:59.039 --> 00:26:03.559 the way, is so freaking beautiful. And I just think, like, 375 00:26:03.240 --> 00:26:10.400 can we all first and foremost just decide from this this day on to accept 376 00:26:10.960 --> 00:26:14.599 the things that are natural to us, and we can start buy skin color. 377 00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:17.640 Please if you have brown skin, if you have black skin, if 378 00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:22.240 you have white skin, if you have freaking mixed skin like me, just 379 00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:26.319 please can we all embrace it? Please? Please please, Like this is 380 00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:32.000 just you have to look at yourself like beautiful, but also understanding this. 381 00:26:32.839 --> 00:26:36.319 If someone is going to the extent of let's say skin color, they're not 382 00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:41.359 well mentally, they're not well. So what we're not going to do is 383 00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:45.880 move through life feeling unwanted by people who don't even know how to love themselves, 384 00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:51.640 never clearly got taught how to learn them to love themselves or others. 385 00:26:52.279 --> 00:26:55.960 I'm sorry, we're not even going to have these people are so irrelevant to 386 00:26:56.079 --> 00:26:59.119 us, Okay, so we're not eve gonna worry about those type of people. 387 00:26:59.480 --> 00:27:03.400 And in terms of you saying, can you talk about like the forgotten 388 00:27:03.400 --> 00:27:11.079 girl who always feels unwanted and alone? Maybe you have been forgotten in your 389 00:27:11.119 --> 00:27:14.880 life at one point in your life. That's probably why you feel like this 390 00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:18.480 Like this is usually these type of feelings actually come from something like stemmed way 391 00:27:18.559 --> 00:27:22.160 younger than the first experience that you've maybe been aware of feeling like this. 392 00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:26.720 So whatever that is, like understanding maybe where that came from this unlike forgotten 393 00:27:29.240 --> 00:27:34.960 wound, I should say, but you don't have to move through life being 394 00:27:36.079 --> 00:27:38.240 forgotten anymore. But it's gonna be up to you to look at yourself like 395 00:27:38.279 --> 00:27:41.680 you are no longer forgotten. And how you do that is you first look 396 00:27:41.720 --> 00:27:47.559 at yourself like you're unforgettable. Okay, And I know that it can be 397 00:27:47.799 --> 00:27:52.279 hard to look at yourself like you're chosen when there's people literally in front of 398 00:27:52.319 --> 00:27:55.599 your face saying I don't choose you and I don't like youness that, but 399 00:27:55.640 --> 00:27:57.119 I think, like what helps for me at least what helped for me when 400 00:27:57.119 --> 00:28:02.440 I was in high school, especially be somebody who didn't get chosen, didn't 401 00:28:02.440 --> 00:28:07.240 get chosen at all, Like I really just didn't like myself, was realizing 402 00:28:07.319 --> 00:28:11.519 like, Okay, I'm around people who clearly just don't have the capacity to 403 00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:17.519 accept me. So I'm not going to try and even like chase these type 404 00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:21.839 of people. And I'm also not going to wait for them to validate myself 405 00:28:21.839 --> 00:28:23.839 and tell me that I'm amazing and that my skin is great or my hair 406 00:28:23.880 --> 00:28:29.440 is great or whatever. I'm going to decide that for myself first, which 407 00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:33.400 I'm not saying it's fair, right A lot of the times, like life 408 00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:37.200 is not fair? Was it like fair that I had to go to a 409 00:28:37.240 --> 00:28:44.480 school where there was nobody of color and no one was no one even knew 410 00:28:44.519 --> 00:28:48.559 how to praise somebody of color or like whatever. Like it was crappy, 411 00:28:48.599 --> 00:28:51.559 it really was. But I just decided, like, you know what, 412 00:28:51.599 --> 00:28:53.759 this is my life circumstance right now, I am going to decide that I'm 413 00:28:53.799 --> 00:28:56.559 beautiful and worthy, and I'm going to work on myself, not from a 414 00:28:56.599 --> 00:29:02.240 place of changing anything about me, actually racing myself and my uniqueness and I'm 415 00:29:02.279 --> 00:29:04.599 going to continue to move through the world and the world will reflect it back 416 00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:07.799 to me. But guess what, the world is not going to reflect it 417 00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:11.559 back to you right at the beginning. And I think that's where we get 418 00:29:11.559 --> 00:29:12.640 caught up as like, Okay, we're going in this self love journey and 419 00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:15.839 I'm gonna accept myself and I'm gonna like, oh, I love my natural 420 00:29:15.880 --> 00:29:19.200 hair now. And then you go out and like nobody's like commenting on your 421 00:29:19.240 --> 00:29:23.160 natural hair, like nobody's like choosing you or whatever. Do not use that 422 00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:27.519 as evidence to fall back Why because you don't fall back on it accepting and 423 00:29:27.559 --> 00:29:32.279 loving yourself. That's just, in my opinion, in a little bit of 424 00:29:32.319 --> 00:29:34.599 flawed thinking, but in terms when you're saying, and how can she start 425 00:29:34.599 --> 00:29:40.920 feeling more valued? Stop waiting for other people to validate you, to tell 426 00:29:40.960 --> 00:29:45.119 you you're pretty, to tell you you're beautiful, to tell you that you're 427 00:29:45.160 --> 00:29:48.000 successful this, that, and listen, I'm not gonna say that you're not 428 00:29:48.039 --> 00:29:52.200 a human being and you don't want that, and you shouldn't get that in 429 00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:55.640 your life. Of course, this is why we do the things that we 430 00:29:55.720 --> 00:29:59.960 do, is because we want validation and love from other people. And it's 431 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.359 it's so crappy that you didn't get that. It's so crappy that we all 432 00:30:03.400 --> 00:30:06.839 in some sense did not get that. Life is not freaking fair. I 433 00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:10.440 hate it. But all we can do now moving forward is say, whoa, 434 00:30:10.519 --> 00:30:11.960 Okay, this is what it was. I just didn't get this love 435 00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:17.079 that I actually inherently deserved. I deserve it. Now. I am going 436 00:30:17.119 --> 00:30:21.359 to do my best to look at myself as valuable and lovable and do the 437 00:30:21.359 --> 00:30:22.640 things that I need to do, which I mean, I'm going to talk 438 00:30:22.640 --> 00:30:25.759 about a few more things, so maybe this will help you. I don't 439 00:30:25.799 --> 00:30:27.759 know your certain circumstances, other than you said your skin color, which is 440 00:30:29.079 --> 00:30:33.920 very like it's not an easy topic to talk about, but especially coming from 441 00:30:33.960 --> 00:30:38.880 somebody who's just mixed, right, But I think you have to be the 442 00:30:38.880 --> 00:30:42.920 one to decide. You have to be the one to decide that you are 443 00:30:44.039 --> 00:30:48.240 valuable and you have to stop waiting for people to tell you that and stop 444 00:30:48.279 --> 00:30:52.039 surrounding yourself with people who aren't valuing you. At the end of the day, 445 00:30:52.119 --> 00:30:56.799 right, it's not your fault that you feel these ways, and these 446 00:30:56.839 --> 00:31:00.920 things might have happened to you in your life, but it a lot of 447 00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:03.839 the times it is our fault in the sense of where we continue to place 448 00:31:03.880 --> 00:31:08.160 our energy and our attention and our time and our focus. You have the 449 00:31:08.200 --> 00:31:11.680 ability to take your focus off of the people who are not valuing you and 450 00:31:11.759 --> 00:31:15.640 onto people who do. And maybe that will take some time, but you 451 00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:19.279 need to first take that spotlight off of everyone else, everyone else. Stop 452 00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:25.319 searching for everyone else to validate you, and validate yourself. Love yourself, 453 00:31:25.359 --> 00:31:29.799 decide that you are worthy. And this goes with any aspect of things, 454 00:31:29.799 --> 00:31:33.519 and I'll bring it back down to social media. I decided that I wanted 455 00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:37.720 to do social media. I decided that what I had to say was great. 456 00:31:37.759 --> 00:31:41.519 I didn't go out and survey people and to ask people, what do 457 00:31:41.559 --> 00:31:42.759 you guys think? Should I do this? Should I do this? Should 458 00:31:42.759 --> 00:31:48.799 I do this? No? I'm deciding why because everyone has their own personal 459 00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:52.759 opinion and preference anyways, Right, so I could get a bunch of people 460 00:31:52.759 --> 00:31:55.960 that say, yes, amazingly, should go do it, But then there's 461 00:31:56.079 --> 00:31:56.920 going to be half the world that say, no, that's not a good 462 00:31:56.920 --> 00:32:01.799 idea. What do you do you want in your life? Go for it 463 00:32:01.880 --> 00:32:06.400 and stop asking people. And I think as you grow up, you start 464 00:32:06.440 --> 00:32:09.279 to realize there's just no point, like there's not a like, stop asking 465 00:32:09.319 --> 00:32:13.039 people to valuate in whatever, because the end of the day, you're gonna 466 00:32:13.039 --> 00:32:15.880 do. You're gonna do what you really want anyways, and even if people 467 00:32:15.960 --> 00:32:19.720 tell you not to do the thing that you want to do, you're gonna 468 00:32:19.759 --> 00:32:22.759 still have that desire to do it. So there's no point in asking. 469 00:32:22.920 --> 00:32:24.759 And now, obviously it's good to ask for advice and just that, like 470 00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:29.799 we need some direction in our lives, but you know, when you're asking 471 00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:31.440 way too much. Anyways, that was kind of a tangent. I hope 472 00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:37.839 that helps you, know what. I just want to quickly mention, there's 473 00:32:37.880 --> 00:32:39.920 a video that's going live that's so funny. It's ten o'clock right on the 474 00:32:39.960 --> 00:32:44.880 dot. So my video has gone live on my main channel regarding how to 475 00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:49.559 become your Own it Girl, which I will get my editor to link in 476 00:32:49.680 --> 00:32:52.079 the description, and I talk a lot about getting to the root of self 477 00:32:52.119 --> 00:32:57.240 hate. And if you want, I guess more advice on that, then 478 00:32:57.279 --> 00:33:00.119 please go watch that video. Also, I actually was talking about skin color 479 00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:05.640 in that video because I had seen on my YouTube back end that there was 480 00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:08.599 high search terms for people who are looking to whiten and enlighten their skin, 481 00:33:09.079 --> 00:33:13.279 the black and brown community. And this is a like eight point six billion 482 00:33:13.319 --> 00:33:16.640 dollar industry. It is not gone away. I know a lot of you 483 00:33:16.720 --> 00:33:20.440 guys aren't interested in that type of content, but it is still on the 484 00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:22.640 internet and it breaks my heart. And I was talking about that in that 485 00:33:22.759 --> 00:33:28.759 video. So if you want more content on that, please go watch that 486 00:33:28.880 --> 00:33:31.440 video. All Right, somebody said I'm too insecure to go on dates. 487 00:33:31.759 --> 00:33:36.720 What if he rejects me and when he sees me for the first time, 488 00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:39.559 I don't really know. I guess, like what happens when he sees me 489 00:33:39.599 --> 00:33:44.200 for the first time, or I guess what if he rejects me when he 490 00:33:44.200 --> 00:33:47.519 sees me for the first time. This is the energy that you need to 491 00:33:47.640 --> 00:33:52.400 embody. This is a This really helps me when it comes to confidence. 492 00:33:52.079 --> 00:34:00.400 Is this energy of or the saying of okay and okay and okay. If 493 00:34:00.400 --> 00:34:05.839 you don't like me and you reject me, okay, and what is it 494 00:34:05.880 --> 00:34:08.159 the end of the world. No, it's not, but we just make 495 00:34:08.199 --> 00:34:12.559 it the end of the world. Right. If he rejects you, okay, 496 00:34:12.599 --> 00:34:16.480 he's not for you. Why do we have to internalize everything, right, 497 00:34:16.519 --> 00:34:19.320 because that's what we do, especially with men. Oh my god, 498 00:34:19.360 --> 00:34:21.840 he doesn't like me. He doesn't want to do that. Listen. I 499 00:34:21.880 --> 00:34:25.039 remember this one time. It was honestly, like, listen, I'm not 500 00:34:25.280 --> 00:34:30.079 a narcissist in any capacity when it comes to like me in character energy, 501 00:34:30.119 --> 00:34:37.119 Like I'm a very humble person. But I don't get rejected with men, 502 00:34:37.320 --> 00:34:43.639 mainly because I don't actually like pursue men very often. But for the most 503 00:34:43.679 --> 00:34:46.400 part, like I don't really have that, but for sure, like even 504 00:34:46.400 --> 00:34:49.760 in high school, I'm sure like there's guys who like didn't like me, 505 00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:52.679 but I just like whatever, who cares. But there was a specific time 506 00:34:52.679 --> 00:34:57.960 where I went on a date and he was cute, Like we were talking 507 00:34:58.039 --> 00:35:00.920 through a dating app and he had known like one of my friends, so 508 00:35:00.960 --> 00:35:02.480 it was like kind of cool. And then we went on a date and 509 00:35:02.639 --> 00:35:07.519 I thought it went pretty good. And then he texted me after and he 510 00:35:07.599 --> 00:35:09.199 was like, hey, like it was so lovely meeting you. Whatever, 511 00:35:09.239 --> 00:35:12.800 I just don't think there's a romantic connection blah blah blah, And I was 512 00:35:12.840 --> 00:35:16.119 like so triggered. I was like what. First of all, I really 513 00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:20.639 didn't I don't know, like I guess I just didn't think about it too 514 00:35:20.719 --> 00:35:23.039 much. But when he said like, oh, there wasn't a romantic connection, 515 00:35:23.079 --> 00:35:30.159 blah bah blah, I was kind of like, Okay. At first 516 00:35:30.199 --> 00:35:32.639 I wanted to internalize it, but then I was thinking, this is not 517 00:35:32.679 --> 00:35:35.760 to throw him under the bus, because maybe it was just me, right, 518 00:35:35.760 --> 00:35:37.360 He couldn't he obviously there's something about me he just didn't like, which 519 00:35:37.400 --> 00:35:42.760 is totally fine, like whatever, but he was like really awkward and like 520 00:35:42.920 --> 00:35:46.320 nervous, and he sat beside me at one point, and I feel like 521 00:35:46.320 --> 00:35:49.920 he wanted to go in for some sort of kiss, but like it just 522 00:35:49.960 --> 00:35:52.039 didn't happen, and it was really awkward, and I just feel like that 523 00:35:52.320 --> 00:35:57.320 moment, I think he realized there was for some reason, there wasn't like 524 00:35:57.360 --> 00:36:00.400 the chemistry, Like we couldn't get it, we couldn't do it. I 525 00:36:00.440 --> 00:36:02.719 don't know. But anyways, I don't know why I even said that part, 526 00:36:02.760 --> 00:36:08.000 but that's just like kind of what I thought. But I didn't go 527 00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:13.199 on in my life and continue to internalize it like, oh my god, 528 00:36:13.480 --> 00:36:15.280 I'm ugly. Oh my god, I'm the worst person. Oh my god, 529 00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:16.880 I'm not gonna get what I want because the end of the day, 530 00:36:16.880 --> 00:36:20.840 it's like, this guy means nothing to me. I don't even know this 531 00:36:20.880 --> 00:36:24.760 guy. And you know what, It's okay if I'm not his cup of 532 00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:28.599 tea? Does it kind of like sting a little bit? Like damn, 533 00:36:28.800 --> 00:36:31.400 Like you don't think that I'm like gonna be your wife, Like you're you 534 00:36:31.440 --> 00:36:35.559 don't want to marry me. But like, at the end of the day, 535 00:36:35.639 --> 00:36:37.920 this is just clearing energy in a room for you to find exactly who 536 00:36:38.559 --> 00:36:45.679 you're meant to be with. So don't take rejection as anything other than redirection. 537 00:36:45.039 --> 00:36:49.840 And honestly, when it happens, if it does, which it probably 538 00:36:49.880 --> 00:36:55.039 won't, like it's really rare, I feel okay, and don't internalize it. 539 00:36:55.119 --> 00:36:59.159 That's all I can say. And at the end of the day, 540 00:36:59.360 --> 00:37:00.679 when it comes to dating specifically, and this is something that I had to 541 00:37:00.679 --> 00:37:04.360 do when I started like dating for the first time, and I was so 542 00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:07.639 insecure, and I was so shy, and I was so nervous to go 543 00:37:07.679 --> 00:37:10.400 on dates when I was young, Like I didn't start dating guys and talking 544 00:37:10.440 --> 00:37:15.800 to guys until like seventeen or eighteen, like genuinely, because I was like 545 00:37:15.800 --> 00:37:17.559 so afraid, because I was so insecure, but I started to realize, 546 00:37:17.559 --> 00:37:20.880 like, the only way I'm going to get good at this is if I 547 00:37:20.920 --> 00:37:24.760 practice. So I have to like have this okay fit energy and just you 548 00:37:24.760 --> 00:37:28.079 know what, go balls to the walls and go on a freaking date. 549 00:37:28.079 --> 00:37:29.719 And if he doesn't like me, he doesn't like me, because at the 550 00:37:29.800 --> 00:37:31.079 end of the day, I'm never going to get to my dream man if 551 00:37:31.079 --> 00:37:35.719 i can't go on this freaking date. You know, like I got to 552 00:37:35.800 --> 00:37:39.599 get through it somehow, some way, And what helps is just accepting that, 553 00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:44.800 you know what, I'm not a perfect human being and I'm perfect for 554 00:37:44.880 --> 00:37:49.480 somebody, but maybe it's not for him. So again, don't internalize it, 555 00:37:49.760 --> 00:37:52.159 go on a date, go do whatever you need to do. Don't 556 00:37:52.159 --> 00:37:57.199 give this guy also or this person like put them on such a huge pedestal 557 00:37:57.199 --> 00:37:59.039 because at the end of the day, you don't even really know them. 558 00:37:59.480 --> 00:38:01.400 And when it comes to main character energy, it's like you kind of want 559 00:38:01.400 --> 00:38:06.440 to look at yourself as the highest form. Although somebody had also asked like 560 00:38:06.559 --> 00:38:09.679 the difference between being a main character and like being a narcissist, which I 561 00:38:09.719 --> 00:38:13.719 totally get. People get turned off with main character energy because they're like, 562 00:38:13.760 --> 00:38:17.960 wow, you're just like being a narcissist. No, people who need to 563 00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:22.280 embody, main character, energy are the people who are people pleasers, anxious, 564 00:38:22.320 --> 00:38:27.960 attached girlies, girls who are insecure. Okay, we're not talking about 565 00:38:27.960 --> 00:38:32.159 the people who are already self absorbed and Realistically, as long as you're still 566 00:38:32.199 --> 00:38:37.000 caring about other people and being respectful and being humble, don't be afraid to 567 00:38:37.400 --> 00:38:40.320 care about yourself and put the spotlight on yourself. You know when you need 568 00:38:40.320 --> 00:38:44.559 to put your spotlights on yourself versus other people. Someone asked how to stop 569 00:38:44.639 --> 00:38:51.920 comparing myself or herself to Instagram models or women in general. Honestly, when 570 00:38:51.960 --> 00:38:53.679 it comes if you like really struggle with social media, I would say take 571 00:38:53.719 --> 00:38:59.719 a break. Unfollow. Unfollow girls who are clearly making you think about body 572 00:38:59.760 --> 00:39:01.679 image all day. I don't care. I don't care if you want to 573 00:39:01.800 --> 00:39:05.119 like Oh, but I need to be I need to be strong, and 574 00:39:05.119 --> 00:39:07.920 I shouldn't I should be able to look at these girls. Yeah you can, 575 00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:12.239 and you will once you work on your self confidence. But right now, 576 00:39:12.719 --> 00:39:16.039 best thing that you could do unfollow Stop looking at the stuff. Why 577 00:39:16.079 --> 00:39:20.760 does it matter to you? It's not really relevant right and I'm saying that 578 00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:22.320 like with love in a way, because like I think about my younger self 579 00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:25.280 of you know, I cared so much about this stuff that wasn't even important 580 00:39:25.280 --> 00:39:29.480 at the end of the day, Like an Instagram model's body is not important 581 00:39:29.480 --> 00:39:34.039 to me, not relevant. And I'm not saying like this person's Instagram model 582 00:39:34.119 --> 00:39:37.360 is like not inherently worthy and like valuable and like important, But I just 583 00:39:37.440 --> 00:39:39.679 mean, in general, especially to somebody on the internet, like across the 584 00:39:39.679 --> 00:39:45.400 world, most likely irrelevant and okay, cool, amazing, like you have 585 00:39:45.440 --> 00:39:47.000 a great body, but like we can continue on with our day. But 586 00:39:47.039 --> 00:39:52.880 if it's consuming you mute, unfollow, get off of social media for a 587 00:39:52.880 --> 00:39:55.360 moment, think about all the other things that are more important than body image, 588 00:39:57.079 --> 00:40:00.079 just for a little bit, and that will help. Also, so 589 00:40:00.159 --> 00:40:01.920 in terms of like women in general, like I get it. I don't 590 00:40:01.920 --> 00:40:07.239 know. I just think, like, you know, not everyone is going 591 00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:08.920 to have a picture perfect body. By the way, also, like with 592 00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:13.320 Instagram or even in real life, if you see people who are flawless, 593 00:40:13.800 --> 00:40:19.000 drop dead gorgeous have amazing bodies, not everyone has that, And it's okay 594 00:40:19.079 --> 00:40:22.480 if people do, like okay, like if somebody has a great body's like, 595 00:40:22.519 --> 00:40:25.480 oh wow, that's amazing, and then you go on with your day. 596 00:40:25.639 --> 00:40:28.440 You know, like, it doesn't have to be this big thing. 597 00:40:28.840 --> 00:40:31.000 I think that we make it a big thing. Right. It's like you're 598 00:40:31.039 --> 00:40:36.119 making meaning out of yourself based off of what you see about another girl. 599 00:40:37.079 --> 00:40:39.039 Another person's beauty should have nothing to do with you. You can look at 600 00:40:39.039 --> 00:40:42.519 them as inspiration. Oh my god, how you do your hair, how 601 00:40:42.519 --> 00:40:44.960 do you do your makeup? Oh my god, I love your outfit. 602 00:40:45.320 --> 00:40:47.480 But when it comes to this point of like, oh my god, I'm 603 00:40:47.920 --> 00:40:52.159 a piece of crap. No, but I think what does help when you 604 00:40:52.239 --> 00:40:54.039 go into the world, especially like women in general, if you're seeing people 605 00:40:54.079 --> 00:40:59.800 who are pretty and beautiful and amazing. When you work on yourself, you 606 00:41:00.079 --> 00:41:04.599 tend to stop again having these ruminating thoughts because when you go out and let's 607 00:41:04.599 --> 00:41:06.880 say you do have a natural thought of, oh my god, she's so 608 00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:09.880 amazing, you can think about yourself and oh my god, I'm so amazing. 609 00:41:10.079 --> 00:41:15.039 Why Because I accept myself for who I am and my flaws don't. 610 00:41:15.239 --> 00:41:17.960 I don't expect myself to be perfect. I don't need to be perfect. 611 00:41:19.000 --> 00:41:22.679 I'm not prioritizing body image over everything. Life is so much more beautiful outside 612 00:41:22.719 --> 00:41:24.800 of this. Also, I show up for myself. I go to the 613 00:41:24.840 --> 00:41:28.320 gym, I take care of myself. I speak to myself kindly. I'm 614 00:41:28.360 --> 00:41:30.800 a great person. I have a great personality. I'm doing this with my 615 00:41:30.800 --> 00:41:34.320 finance. Is this, that and the third? Okay, So build yourself 616 00:41:34.400 --> 00:41:37.960 up as much as possible, and as you do that, just take a 617 00:41:37.960 --> 00:41:42.440 break from Instagram. Like that's all I can say. Someone said, is 618 00:41:42.440 --> 00:41:45.920 it necessary to always be dulled up to show that you have main character energy? 619 00:41:46.119 --> 00:41:53.199 No? I think sometimes getting ready can help you feel good about yourself 620 00:41:53.280 --> 00:41:57.320 and pick up your energy and your mood. I was even talking about this 621 00:41:57.360 --> 00:42:00.800 on TikTok. How lately, I've just been getting ready the mornings, which 622 00:42:00.840 --> 00:42:05.119 is like putting on some blush and some mascara, even if I'm not planning 623 00:42:05.159 --> 00:42:08.480 on filming, and it just makes me more motivated to film or to do 624 00:42:08.639 --> 00:42:14.280 things, even though I really like I will film and I'll do most things 625 00:42:14.320 --> 00:42:19.000 with no makeup anyways. But there's something about the energy in which you have 626 00:42:19.079 --> 00:42:22.280 a practice of like getting ready and stuff. But I work for myself and 627 00:42:22.320 --> 00:42:25.559 I am a very efficient person, and I don't like to do too much 628 00:42:25.599 --> 00:42:30.199 and spend too much time on my looks anyways, so that's why I kind 629 00:42:30.239 --> 00:42:32.400 of moved away from caring so much about that. But it is nice to 630 00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:37.519 get ready and like feel good, but you do not need to look like 631 00:42:37.559 --> 00:42:43.119 one of those dark feminine energy girlies on YouTube with like in order to have 632 00:42:43.199 --> 00:42:45.679 dark femin and energy that's not or main character energy. That's not gonna be 633 00:42:45.719 --> 00:42:51.239 the thing. You could look freaking flawless and have the worst confidence ever. 634 00:42:51.480 --> 00:42:57.760 Quite frankly, I've met some of the most beautiful, stunning girls in real 635 00:42:57.840 --> 00:43:05.000 life no photoshop needed, okay, and they are very insecure. So no, 636 00:43:05.519 --> 00:43:07.559 you don't. You don't have to spend a lot of money on having 637 00:43:07.639 --> 00:43:10.440 main character energy. Again, it's your essence. And if we're talking about 638 00:43:10.519 --> 00:43:16.079 let's say men are women when they're looking at us, okay, yeah, 639 00:43:16.159 --> 00:43:19.960 maybe like the way you present yourself, yeah okay, like you got your 640 00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:21.440 hair down a little bit, this, that and the third. But at 641 00:43:21.440 --> 00:43:23.960 the end of the day, how do you sound, And I don't mean 642 00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:28.000 the tone of your voice, Okay, like you can I don't know. 643 00:43:28.039 --> 00:43:30.639 I think you can have finesse however you sound, but like, are you 644 00:43:30.719 --> 00:43:36.960 humble? Are you kind. Are you curious about other people? Are you 645 00:43:37.440 --> 00:43:40.960 self accepting? Are you relatable? To me? That is confidence to me, 646 00:43:42.519 --> 00:43:46.239 that is meming character energy. To me, that's attractive. I'm attracted 647 00:43:46.239 --> 00:43:52.480 to a person in a room that is relatable and nice and welcoming and humble, 648 00:43:52.039 --> 00:43:55.800 that somebody who I can aspire to be. But also they don't make 649 00:43:55.880 --> 00:44:02.480 me feel like complete crap about myself. That's how I like to exude a 650 00:44:02.559 --> 00:44:07.679 main character energy in a way of like, Okay, I'm going to respectfully 651 00:44:07.480 --> 00:44:13.159 take my crown because yes, I can accept acknowledgment and love for myself. 652 00:44:13.199 --> 00:44:15.880 I love myself. I can take compliments. That's amazing, but not in 653 00:44:15.920 --> 00:44:20.079 a place of I'm taking a compliment and I'm so good, I'm better than 654 00:44:20.119 --> 00:44:23.440 you. I'm trying to inspire other people to be like me as well, 655 00:44:23.679 --> 00:44:27.840 Like babe, you can have this too. I'm loving myself, but so 656 00:44:27.920 --> 00:44:30.199 can you, you know what I mean. So that's kind of like how 657 00:44:30.239 --> 00:44:34.559 I think about it. Another person said this is like a two parter, 658 00:44:34.679 --> 00:44:37.320 So I'm gonna try and like understand what she's saying. I think she does 659 00:44:37.639 --> 00:44:43.079 or sorry, I think I do. She said the pressure talk about the 660 00:44:43.119 --> 00:44:47.519 pressure to be a bad bee around my black community, and the pressure to 661 00:44:47.599 --> 00:44:53.480 feel pretty around my non black community. And then she said, I'm quiet, 662 00:44:53.639 --> 00:44:59.440 I'm modest and don't break brag about my looks or guys. But I'm 663 00:44:59.480 --> 00:45:07.400 perceiving as insecure. Help. Okay, So I don't know if you're mixed 664 00:45:07.559 --> 00:45:12.679 or you just have black friends and white friends who are like very separate. 665 00:45:13.159 --> 00:45:17.440 I have, like this is my entire life, okay, growing up as 666 00:45:17.440 --> 00:45:23.559 a mixed kid and being yep, too black for the white kids in a 667 00:45:23.559 --> 00:45:29.199 way and too white for the black kids in a way. But I don't 668 00:45:29.239 --> 00:45:30.800 really go through life identifying too much like that, like woe is me, 669 00:45:30.840 --> 00:45:35.599 because it's like not that deep. Like I can still very much so fit 670 00:45:35.639 --> 00:45:37.840 in with black friends and mixed friends, and I can very much so fit 671 00:45:37.880 --> 00:45:40.199 in with my white friends. I feel like I'm a good mix. I 672 00:45:40.280 --> 00:45:45.440 know myself, I know how I want to present in life, and I 673 00:45:45.440 --> 00:45:47.400 don't care what anyone else thinks. I don't care if I'm too white, 674 00:45:47.639 --> 00:45:52.280 I don't care if I'm too black, don't care. So in terms of 675 00:45:52.280 --> 00:45:55.519 like the pressure to be a certain way around like the black community, like 676 00:45:55.559 --> 00:46:00.440 let's say, be a bad bee that that's just what it is. Pressure, 677 00:46:00.519 --> 00:46:04.840 Right, there's people who are always gonna pressure you to be who they 678 00:46:04.880 --> 00:46:07.119 are. You don't have to be it at all. And I mean, 679 00:46:07.159 --> 00:46:10.400 I'm not gonna obviously put a blanket statement in saying all of the black community 680 00:46:10.400 --> 00:46:15.480 want to be these like bad bees, because there are so many people in 681 00:46:15.519 --> 00:46:22.079 the black community who are like, like modest, they're conservative, they're I 682 00:46:22.119 --> 00:46:27.039 don't know, like opposite of that. So like, you can be whoever 683 00:46:27.079 --> 00:46:31.519 you want in this world. And if people are pressuring you to be like 684 00:46:31.639 --> 00:46:38.519 them, just understand there's a level of them not accepting you, in which 685 00:46:38.519 --> 00:46:42.079 why would you want to be around people who don't accept you in a way? 686 00:46:42.199 --> 00:46:44.599 You know, and you're obviously gonna vibe with certain people, like it's 687 00:46:44.639 --> 00:46:47.199 okay that maybe the bad bees don't really vibe with you, but like that's 688 00:46:47.239 --> 00:46:52.400 fine. And then you're saying the pressure to feel pretty around non black communities. 689 00:46:52.440 --> 00:46:55.119 So I don't know if you're talking in the sense of like fitting into 690 00:46:55.119 --> 00:47:01.800 the European like beauty standards or whatever. But again, it's just it's pressure, 691 00:47:02.559 --> 00:47:06.639 and you don't have to give in to that pressure. I understand that 692 00:47:06.679 --> 00:47:09.159 it's hard, but it's like you're a unique human being. I don't know 693 00:47:09.159 --> 00:47:15.400 what you look like, but you gotta embrace what works for you, right, 694 00:47:15.679 --> 00:47:19.519 And what you said here is I'm quiet, I'm modest, I don't 695 00:47:19.519 --> 00:47:22.800 brag about my looks or guys, and I'm perceived as insecure. You're just 696 00:47:22.880 --> 00:47:28.239 perceived as insecure. Who cares people who are perceiving you as insecure because you 697 00:47:28.559 --> 00:47:32.480 are modest and you decide that you don't want to show off everything that's beautiful, 698 00:47:32.559 --> 00:47:37.400 amazing, continue to do you. You don't brag about guys, and 699 00:47:37.440 --> 00:47:43.800 you're not interested in whatever it is oh amazing own that people. You are 700 00:47:43.880 --> 00:47:49.760 just being a mirror to people. If people are trying to tear you down, 701 00:47:49.800 --> 00:47:52.559 you're just reflecting to them what they aren't. And somebody who is really 702 00:47:52.599 --> 00:47:57.920 confident and loves themselves understands that there's going to be a reflection always back to 703 00:47:57.960 --> 00:48:01.559 them. But that doesn't mean that you need to tear that person down or 704 00:48:01.599 --> 00:48:04.920 for you to feel better about yourself, because you just know that you are 705 00:48:04.960 --> 00:48:07.360 you or I am I, and you are you. That's not the way 706 00:48:07.360 --> 00:48:10.280 that it's supposed to come out whatever, And that's that like when I move 707 00:48:10.320 --> 00:48:14.639 through life now, when I see somebody who's different than me. Now, 708 00:48:14.719 --> 00:48:17.000 obviously it's natural to like have different needs and wants and like not to vibe 709 00:48:17.000 --> 00:48:22.360 with certain people. But like, you know, okay, somebody dresses like 710 00:48:22.440 --> 00:48:24.119 not modest, but let's say I do, which I don't really dress. 711 00:48:24.239 --> 00:48:28.639 I don't dress modest, but you know, people want to show girls want 712 00:48:28.639 --> 00:48:31.599 to show their bodies as that. Okay, I personally don't vibe with it. 713 00:48:31.920 --> 00:48:35.920 I wouldn't do it. I've stopped doing it. I should say, 714 00:48:35.960 --> 00:48:37.199 like, I still show my body. I have like bikini photos and stuff 715 00:48:37.199 --> 00:48:40.679 on Instagram, So I'm not like very very modest, but whatever. Like, 716 00:48:40.719 --> 00:48:44.840 there's certain niches in certain like styles that I don't like, Like I 717 00:48:44.880 --> 00:48:47.320 personally like wouldn't do that, But I'm not going to tear you down like 718 00:48:47.400 --> 00:48:51.159 I'm just going to If I'm going to use an example, let's say my 719 00:48:51.199 --> 00:48:54.079 podcast, like I'm going to shed light onto things that I did and what 720 00:48:54.159 --> 00:48:58.079 I learned wasn't going to get me what I wanted. But the end of 721 00:48:58.079 --> 00:49:00.199 the day, it's like, do whatever you want. I'm not gonna you 722 00:49:00.280 --> 00:49:02.719 down and say that you're like a crappy human being. I'm just saying personally. 723 00:49:02.760 --> 00:49:06.719 The reason why I wouldn't, let's say, dress a certain way on 724 00:49:06.760 --> 00:49:09.360 Instagram or this that is because I know or that will lead me in terms 725 00:49:09.360 --> 00:49:14.679 of conversations with men or relationship with things like that. But that's like the 726 00:49:14.719 --> 00:49:17.000 extent that I'm going to and I'm not going to make you feel like crap 727 00:49:17.039 --> 00:49:22.760 about yourself, like I would never do that, So not me making this 728 00:49:22.800 --> 00:49:25.320 about me when I'm answering your guys is a question. But at the end 729 00:49:25.320 --> 00:49:29.079 of the day, you're just being perceived as insecure. You are not insecure 730 00:49:29.599 --> 00:49:32.519 because you want to move through life a certain way and own that. And 731 00:49:32.559 --> 00:49:37.280 the more that you own that, those people will slowly fall off by don't 732 00:49:37.320 --> 00:49:42.599 need you go away and you will find people who are more aligned to you. 733 00:49:42.599 --> 00:49:45.119 You just have to create that space and you have to trust that those 734 00:49:45.119 --> 00:49:50.159 people are coming. Someone said how to slowly rebuild confidence and trust within yourself 735 00:49:50.280 --> 00:49:54.440 after events over the years that made you shy and doubtful of yourself. So 736 00:49:55.000 --> 00:50:02.320 I would say, in terms of let's say you dishonoring yourself at one point 737 00:50:02.360 --> 00:50:06.119 or making mistakes, I'm not sure, like I know she didn't technically say 738 00:50:06.119 --> 00:50:07.719 that it was her that did that. Maybe it was like other situations outside 739 00:50:07.719 --> 00:50:10.199 of her. But let's say, like you made mistakes in the past. 740 00:50:12.119 --> 00:50:16.159 I always like to look at it from a standpoint of Okay, I did 741 00:50:16.199 --> 00:50:21.199 certain things in my past based off of what I knew, based off of 742 00:50:21.239 --> 00:50:23.559 being in survival. At the end of the day, we do everything essentially 743 00:50:23.599 --> 00:50:28.880 based out of survival. Now, this is not to accept and condone all 744 00:50:28.920 --> 00:50:31.159 of the mistakes or all the stupid, stupid things that we did. I'm 745 00:50:31.199 --> 00:50:35.280 not saying that because people always say, oh, who, you're gonna accept 746 00:50:35.280 --> 00:50:37.760 when people like do these crappy things or like whatever. No, I'm just 747 00:50:37.800 --> 00:50:40.760 saying, like, it doesn't help you when you can't let go of the 748 00:50:40.760 --> 00:50:44.639 fact that you made a mistake. Right, So I think you just have 749 00:50:44.719 --> 00:50:47.239 to forgive yourself for the things that you did in survival mode, but also 750 00:50:47.800 --> 00:50:53.760 like understand when things didn't work out or like events over the years that might 751 00:50:53.800 --> 00:50:59.159 have made you shy or whatever, understand that a lot of these things are 752 00:50:59.159 --> 00:51:02.800 really just learning lessons. Don't ever look at any sort of loss or mistake 753 00:51:02.960 --> 00:51:07.679 as anything other than a learning lesson. And maybe it's taken you years for 754 00:51:07.719 --> 00:51:10.760 you to actually learn the lesson. Which then forgive yourself for not learning the 755 00:51:10.840 --> 00:51:15.840 lesson for whatever reason, because there's a reason why you didn't end up learning 756 00:51:15.920 --> 00:51:19.840 the lesson. Now that you're learning the lesson, you're seeing whatever's going on, 757 00:51:20.400 --> 00:51:22.000 learn from it, and continue to do better. That's all you can 758 00:51:22.039 --> 00:51:25.360 do. But also, when it comes to rebuilding confidence and trust within yourself, 759 00:51:25.719 --> 00:51:30.280 I've been saying this, the way you are going to build trust within 760 00:51:30.320 --> 00:51:35.320 yourself and real confidence is if you try. Okay, So even if you're 761 00:51:35.360 --> 00:51:37.559 trying to do something again for the first time and you lost self respect, 762 00:51:37.679 --> 00:51:42.280 you lost trust, you lost whatever, there is going to be a level 763 00:51:42.280 --> 00:51:45.440 of you being able to tell yourself okay, like forgive myself this that. 764 00:51:45.880 --> 00:51:50.440 But the only way you're really going to build trust within yourself is if you 765 00:51:50.480 --> 00:51:54.119 practice and you do it. When you do something, now you have one 766 00:51:54.239 --> 00:51:59.400 piece of evidence to show yourself that you actually did it right, versus no 767 00:51:59.599 --> 00:52:04.360 evidence or the crappy evidence that you once had. So you got to take 768 00:52:04.400 --> 00:52:07.400 baby steps with everything when you are trying to practice something. Someone said how 769 00:52:07.400 --> 00:52:12.679 to feel confident when aging. I hate the feeling of getting older. Well, 770 00:52:13.039 --> 00:52:16.800 I'm twenty eight and I feel like turning twenty eight was the year for 771 00:52:16.880 --> 00:52:23.639 me that I really like, actually looked I know this is kind of morbid, 772 00:52:23.719 --> 00:52:28.840 but like looked death in the eye in a way of really realizing, 773 00:52:28.880 --> 00:52:31.840 like I'm getting older. But I was looking at it in the sense of 774 00:52:31.920 --> 00:52:36.719 genuinely like wow, like I want to live, like I have so much 775 00:52:36.880 --> 00:52:40.559 life to live, so many relationships to build, like children, family, 776 00:52:40.639 --> 00:52:44.480 everything, Like oh my god, I don't want to die. I don't 777 00:52:44.480 --> 00:52:47.039 want to leave. So I don't know if you're thinking about it in this 778 00:52:47.360 --> 00:52:51.960 or you're thinking about it in terms of like self image, which I guess 779 00:52:51.960 --> 00:52:58.639 can tie in together, but I just think like it's a normal process of 780 00:52:58.639 --> 00:53:01.880 life. So this is not to always like rid the feeling of that, 781 00:53:01.960 --> 00:53:07.920 like it's it's happening. We're all getting older, which we can just use 782 00:53:07.000 --> 00:53:12.719 this as fuel to really live more present in our lives. But the way 783 00:53:12.760 --> 00:53:15.199 I look at it, and I'm only twenty eight, and I know it's 784 00:53:15.239 --> 00:53:17.039 young, even though right now I do definitely feel the oldest I've ever felt, 785 00:53:17.039 --> 00:53:20.599 obviously because I'm twenty eight or sorry, did I say twenty nine? 786 00:53:20.639 --> 00:53:22.639 I don't even know, Oh my god, whatever. In my head, 787 00:53:22.679 --> 00:53:29.719 I'm basically thirty, but I just think every year gets better, Like there's 788 00:53:29.760 --> 00:53:32.480 so many and there's so many more chapters of our lives. Like, Okay, 789 00:53:32.679 --> 00:53:36.119 we can mourn the loss of our twenties, we can mourn the loss 790 00:53:36.159 --> 00:53:38.079 of our teens and this that, but it's like, okay, our teens 791 00:53:38.079 --> 00:53:42.239 where our teens or twenties where our twenties and in our thirties are gonna be 792 00:53:42.239 --> 00:53:45.480 your thirties and our freaking you know, like there's so many chapters of life. 793 00:53:45.480 --> 00:53:49.639 We were not here to relive the same like twenties, you know, 794 00:53:50.159 --> 00:53:53.880 like we're literally not. Life is cyclical on a monthly freaking scale. We 795 00:53:53.920 --> 00:53:59.480 are cyclical as women for our cycles. So like, let's just be what 796 00:53:59.559 --> 00:54:04.360 it is, and there's gonna be so much beauty that comes out of every 797 00:54:04.519 --> 00:54:07.280 year of your life. Every year of your life is like a chapter right 798 00:54:07.360 --> 00:54:09.960 in a book. But you know, your thirties are going to be so 799 00:54:10.039 --> 00:54:14.760 much different your twenties. You're gonna be like most likely, and who knows, 800 00:54:14.760 --> 00:54:16.719 because everyone's on a different path. But this is how I look at 801 00:54:16.760 --> 00:54:21.559 it. At least, you know, I'm building more of my career and 802 00:54:21.599 --> 00:54:25.840 who I am, and I'm getting more clear with who I want us to 803 00:54:25.880 --> 00:54:30.719 be surrounded by and my boundaries and my needs and my wants and more healing 804 00:54:30.760 --> 00:54:35.719 work and self improvement and better finances, and then I'm gonna be you know, 805 00:54:35.880 --> 00:54:38.800 a relationship, a husband, children, all of those phases to come. 806 00:54:39.280 --> 00:54:44.239 I'm not afraid, I'm really not I'm really excited. I'm good like 807 00:54:44.320 --> 00:54:45.920 here, like too, like I'm chilling. But like you have to have 808 00:54:45.960 --> 00:54:51.840 that mindset switch. Someone said how to have main character energy in the workplace 809 00:54:51.880 --> 00:54:55.960 When you work with competitive people, just use them as motivation. You don't 810 00:54:57.079 --> 00:55:00.480 need to be looking at people who are being successful as in your as you're 811 00:55:00.519 --> 00:55:05.239 in a competition in the sense of there's not enough, That's what I mean. 812 00:55:05.320 --> 00:55:08.039 Like, yes, we're technically in competition with certain people in some aspects, 813 00:55:08.039 --> 00:55:15.440 but tap into the abundance mindsets and not scarcity and being like, oh 814 00:55:15.480 --> 00:55:17.880 my god, there's only one of this thing, and like this person's gonna 815 00:55:17.880 --> 00:55:23.639 get it energy even if logically or like practically there is tap into abundance. 816 00:55:23.679 --> 00:55:27.880 There's enough going where everything's going to work out exactly the way that you need 817 00:55:27.960 --> 00:55:30.920 it too. The universe, God has your back, whatever it is, 818 00:55:30.280 --> 00:55:35.559 and just use them as motivation. Just use them as inspiration. Just use 819 00:55:35.599 --> 00:55:38.159 them even if they get something that you have. Okay, great, that 820 00:55:38.239 --> 00:55:42.079 shows me that I can get it too. When I see people who are 821 00:55:42.119 --> 00:55:45.400 blowing up on YouTube, or I've watched influencers blow up, or this person 822 00:55:45.440 --> 00:55:49.719 got a brand deal over here, or my friend's killing it in this industry 823 00:55:49.719 --> 00:55:53.639 over here, Great, that's just more evidence for me to remind myself and 824 00:55:53.679 --> 00:55:58.719 to continue to move in the direction of abundance. That is the only thing 825 00:55:58.719 --> 00:56:01.280 that I'm looking at things as I I'm no longer looking at things that people 826 00:56:01.320 --> 00:56:05.599 have as oh my god, I can't get that. When I see people 827 00:56:05.719 --> 00:56:08.639 have beautiful, healthy relationships husbands, especially on TikTok, because I we see 828 00:56:08.639 --> 00:56:13.960 this in the comment section, you know, like beautiful relationships. I tend 829 00:56:13.960 --> 00:56:16.239 to not romanticize other people relationships online because you just never know, and I 830 00:56:16.320 --> 00:56:22.719 just don't really I don't really like that. But when I see that stuff, 831 00:56:22.840 --> 00:56:24.119 the only thing I think now is Wow, I cannot wait for my 832 00:56:24.199 --> 00:56:27.719 husband and how great he's going to treat me just like this or even better. 833 00:56:27.800 --> 00:56:29.599 It's going to be different, not going to be just like this, 834 00:56:29.679 --> 00:56:32.519 but like like that. But I do see some comments being like wow, 835 00:56:32.639 --> 00:56:37.599 Like it's very much so like wow, like I wish I could have that, 836 00:56:37.719 --> 00:56:39.559 and like I'm not going to get that, and why why aren't more 837 00:56:39.639 --> 00:56:42.960 men like that, and like where do you find them? And oh my 838 00:56:43.000 --> 00:56:45.119 god, like no, we're not doing that. Someone said how to have 839 00:56:45.199 --> 00:56:49.599 confidence speaking in larger groups. I would just say, start with baby steps. 840 00:56:49.760 --> 00:56:52.480 Like the way I got more confident with speaking on camera is getting on 841 00:56:52.519 --> 00:56:58.519 camera and speaking and not being comfortable and trying and trying again. But do 842 00:56:58.599 --> 00:57:02.000 everything with baby steps instead of like putting yourself like too much in like social 843 00:57:02.039 --> 00:57:07.840 anxiety or like whatever you have to do, but also practicing indifference in the 844 00:57:07.920 --> 00:57:12.719 sense of not putting the people who you're speaking to on this huge pedestal like 845 00:57:12.760 --> 00:57:15.559 they're like telling you that you're gonna be super wrong or judging you whatever. 846 00:57:15.800 --> 00:57:21.280 Like people are here to listen to you. People are also normal human beings 847 00:57:21.320 --> 00:57:24.119 who are actually just craving relatability, So like you can look at it like 848 00:57:24.159 --> 00:57:29.639 that as well, like you know, come up with a certain like mindset 849 00:57:29.880 --> 00:57:35.079 of these people are just like me, like friend vibes. I don't know. 850 00:57:35.119 --> 00:57:37.239 That's how I think about when it comes to like speaking on a podcast 851 00:57:37.239 --> 00:57:37.559 like at the end of the day, like, you guys are just my 852 00:57:37.599 --> 00:57:40.760 friends, Like we're just keykying. If I met you in real life, 853 00:57:40.760 --> 00:57:45.119 I would be having these same conversations. Yes, maybe I am helping you 854 00:57:45.159 --> 00:57:50.960 guys out and guiding, but you do that in friendships, so it's not 855 00:57:51.000 --> 00:57:53.719 like the end of the world. But also tapping into self acceptance. You 856 00:57:53.760 --> 00:57:58.840 don't have to be perfect. Like when I'm speaking on the podcast, I 857 00:57:58.920 --> 00:58:00.760 mess up my words and that's fine. I usually edit it out. But 858 00:58:01.079 --> 00:58:07.599 even if I'm saying something that maybe in my head, I'm like, oh, 859 00:58:07.679 --> 00:58:09.159 I should have probably said it that way, I don't. It's fine 860 00:58:09.440 --> 00:58:13.519 that I got it out and people will understand it. And people don't. 861 00:58:13.519 --> 00:58:15.199 It's fine. You know, I'll have another chance to say it again. 862 00:58:15.920 --> 00:58:21.159 I don't have to say it the most perfect way like everyone else. Like 863 00:58:21.880 --> 00:58:24.519 again, you got to tap into self acceptance. Someone said how to have 864 00:58:24.599 --> 00:58:30.480 confidence around men? And would you have the confidence to ask somebody out. 865 00:58:30.400 --> 00:58:36.599 I think how you have confidence around men is to stop trying to have confidence 866 00:58:36.719 --> 00:58:44.400 around men and just be yourself. And this is my personal experience. I 867 00:58:44.480 --> 00:58:47.159 see it all around me, and I have to still remind myself of this 868 00:58:47.639 --> 00:58:51.800 but the best thing that you can do, especially with men. I find, 869 00:58:52.800 --> 00:58:57.679 especially with men, they actually just want you to be yourself. And 870 00:58:57.719 --> 00:59:00.679 it's so wild because we do the complete opposite. We are trying so hard 871 00:59:00.760 --> 00:59:05.719 to not be ourselves. We are trying to use makeup and outfits and act 872 00:59:05.760 --> 00:59:09.079 a certain way and say the right thing at the right time and respond a 873 00:59:09.119 --> 00:59:15.360 certain way. Just be your freaking self, Oh my god. And it's 874 00:59:15.360 --> 00:59:17.119 so funny because I used to, like when I first started to realize this 875 00:59:17.320 --> 00:59:22.880 was I would always tend to be myself around men who I didn't want, 876 00:59:22.280 --> 00:59:25.960 and they would be obsessed with me, and I would realize, oh my 877 00:59:27.079 --> 00:59:30.239 god, it's because I'm being myself. And anytime that I really wanted a 878 00:59:30.280 --> 00:59:35.199 man who like I was just like obsessed with and like they were my type, 879 00:59:35.239 --> 00:59:39.239 I would always find myself trying to put a mask on. And I 880 00:59:39.239 --> 00:59:43.239 think as you get older and accept yourself, you realize, like, first 881 00:59:43.239 --> 00:59:45.320 of all, men don't want the mask anyways, the good men. But 882 00:59:45.519 --> 00:59:49.639 it's just there's no point because you have to be yourself. Right. Why 883 00:59:49.679 --> 00:59:52.599 am I putting on a filter on myself? I just mean an actual, 884 00:59:52.679 --> 00:59:57.039 like physical life like filter on myself when that's not even me. At the 885 00:59:57.119 --> 01:00:00.119 end of the day, if I'm going to be with this man, I 886 01:00:00.159 --> 01:00:02.360 have to be myself. So start trying to be yourself. Take off the 887 01:00:02.360 --> 01:00:06.679 mask, be very aware when you you know you're trying to like morph yourself 888 01:00:06.679 --> 01:00:08.760 into being this. And the third even I even give this example, and 889 01:00:08.800 --> 01:00:14.239 this is like just like a physical example, and it's whatever. Some people 890 01:00:14.320 --> 01:00:16.760 might not like to do this, but when I go on dates with men, 891 01:00:17.480 --> 01:00:23.760 I do not get myself all done up to the damn nines. I 892 01:00:23.840 --> 01:00:29.280 just don't do it because this there's a few reasons, one being I just 893 01:00:29.320 --> 01:00:31.679 don't really move like that, Like it's very rare that I get myself up 894 01:00:32.000 --> 01:00:36.480 like done to the nines. And I also just want to present myself in 895 01:00:36.519 --> 01:00:39.320 a way that's just actually me. And I also just don't want to train 896 01:00:39.360 --> 01:00:44.039 a man to like always be expecting that to be honest if I'm being honest. 897 01:00:44.079 --> 01:00:45.679 But and like also it's just like a treat for them whatever. So 898 01:00:45.679 --> 01:00:49.199 I don't know, you just got to be yourself. Though. Also in 899 01:00:49.239 --> 01:00:52.320 regards to would you have the confidence to ask somebody out, it's not that 900 01:00:52.400 --> 01:00:58.159 I don't have the confidence, but I personally wouldn't ask a man out. 901 01:00:58.320 --> 01:01:02.000 Maybe if it depends on the certain circumstances. This doesn't mean that I wouldn't 902 01:01:02.039 --> 01:01:07.360 make myself known or available or open have my energy open to a man, 903 01:01:07.440 --> 01:01:10.719 because a man really does need to know that you are interested in some sense. 904 01:01:10.760 --> 01:01:13.800 But it's not in the sense of you walking up to him and being 905 01:01:13.800 --> 01:01:14.920 like, Hey, do you want to go on a date with me? 906 01:01:15.519 --> 01:01:19.280 It's not really that you don't really need to do that. It depends on 907 01:01:19.320 --> 01:01:22.119 the situation at hand, and we can have a whole separate conversation about that. 908 01:01:22.400 --> 01:01:23.800 So let me know in the comments if you want that, or on 909 01:01:24.039 --> 01:01:29.239 the podcast regarding men and dating. But being yourself, for one, when 910 01:01:29.239 --> 01:01:32.559 you're yourself, your energy is open, you're curious, you aren't in your 911 01:01:32.599 --> 01:01:37.880 head, You're focused on you know, out here, and that signals to 912 01:01:37.920 --> 01:01:40.599 a man that he can walk up to you. That signals to a man. 913 01:01:40.760 --> 01:01:44.920 Oh, she seems inviting. Let me go see. That signals to 914 01:01:45.000 --> 01:01:47.840 a man. Okay, maybe I'll get rejected, but she's allowing me to 915 01:01:49.519 --> 01:01:53.039 come to her with something. So in my personal opinion, it's not about 916 01:01:53.239 --> 01:01:59.639 not having confidence. I just would rather a man come to me and you 917 01:01:59.679 --> 01:02:02.559 know, kind of court me in that sense. But I do make it 918 01:02:02.679 --> 01:02:07.360 known, and I do have a warmth, and I do have an openness 919 01:02:07.519 --> 01:02:10.239 energy to a man so that he knows he can come. But there's still 920 01:02:10.239 --> 01:02:15.239 men who will come up to me and just try and whatever. But they'll 921 01:02:15.280 --> 01:02:17.960 get the hints. They will get the hints respectfully, not rude, not 922 01:02:19.000 --> 01:02:22.880 in a rude way, but they'll get the hint. Last question, somebody 923 01:02:22.920 --> 01:02:24.599 said, at home, I always feel confident, but when I go out, 924 01:02:24.800 --> 01:02:30.119 I get insecure. What can I do? I think what you need 925 01:02:30.159 --> 01:02:34.199 to do is practice and baby steps being more yourself. I don't know what 926 01:02:34.239 --> 01:02:39.360 it is that you're completely like insecure about, but let's say it has something 927 01:02:39.480 --> 01:02:45.719 to do. Let's say you're insecure about your arms, and you're not insecure 928 01:02:45.760 --> 01:02:47.559 at all at home because nobody sees you. But when you go out, 929 01:02:47.880 --> 01:02:52.199 first obviously it's you have to give the energy of like okay, and like 930 01:02:52.239 --> 01:02:54.079 if somebody ever like made fun of your arms, like didn't light your arms, 931 01:02:54.079 --> 01:03:00.480 like okay, and those people are not for you, but also tapping 932 01:03:00.480 --> 01:03:05.280 into the acceptance of okay, I have these arms, so like what am 933 01:03:05.280 --> 01:03:09.039 I gonna do about that? But also stop hiding yourself so much, because 934 01:03:09.039 --> 01:03:12.239 I just remember, like when I was in high school, I was so 935 01:03:12.280 --> 01:03:14.920 insecure about certain parts of my body, and then I would just continue to 936 01:03:14.960 --> 01:03:19.480 make it worse by hiding myself when I would go to school, like wearing 937 01:03:19.519 --> 01:03:22.719 like long hoodie, big hoodies and stuff, and like not giving myself the 938 01:03:22.760 --> 01:03:28.360 opportunity to practice being myself. And the way you practice being yourself is maybe 939 01:03:28.440 --> 01:03:31.679 maybe you're just gonna take off your your sweater around your closest friends and you're 940 01:03:31.719 --> 01:03:37.039 gonna start to show yourself subconsciously. Hmm, nobody's saying anything about my arms 941 01:03:37.480 --> 01:03:43.159 actually, and I actually feel really good not having a freaking sweater on in 942 01:03:43.199 --> 01:03:46.159 the middle of summer. So yeah, I'm gonna continue to do this. 943 01:03:46.239 --> 01:03:49.440 And what you find is usually you start to be more in the present. 944 01:03:49.480 --> 01:03:52.239 You start to not focus on your arms because you're you're in a safe space, 945 01:03:52.840 --> 01:03:57.800 and then you tend to oh, okay, you want to go like 946 01:03:57.840 --> 01:04:00.119 to the store. Yeah, let's go to the store. US three, 947 01:04:00.360 --> 01:04:03.039 no sweater needed. Walking to the store and you run into some kids at 948 01:04:03.039 --> 01:04:08.199 first, Maybe you'll have that insecurity. Depending on how much you're like really 949 01:04:08.199 --> 01:04:11.920 focusing on it. But the more times that you're present, you forget that 950 01:04:12.039 --> 01:04:15.559 you even have the sweater on. And guess what, these kids over here 951 01:04:15.599 --> 01:04:17.159 didn't even say anything but your arms and they don't care. And now you've 952 01:04:17.159 --> 01:04:19.559 shown yourself. Oh my god, it's not even that big of a deal, 953 01:04:20.000 --> 01:04:25.440 right, So it's like baby steps with things, even when it comes 954 01:04:25.480 --> 01:04:31.719 to like another example with like physical appearance. I didn't like how I looked 955 01:04:31.719 --> 01:04:34.119 in bathing suits, so I would always hide myself. But I would even 956 01:04:34.199 --> 01:04:40.360 hide myself at home. So I started walking around in my bathing suits and 957 01:04:40.400 --> 01:04:45.800 like started looking at myself in the mirror and not telling myself, oh my 958 01:04:45.800 --> 01:04:48.079 god, you have the hottest body, because like I just like couldn't believe 959 01:04:48.119 --> 01:04:51.039 that. But I would go in the mirror, look at myself and be 960 01:04:51.079 --> 01:04:54.360 like, okay, it's fine, Like, yes, this is my body. 961 01:04:54.400 --> 01:04:56.880 Can I look in the mirror and just accept the fact that this is 962 01:04:56.880 --> 01:04:59.400 my body? Like that is the first step, right, And the more 963 01:04:59.400 --> 01:05:03.480 times it got used to seeing my body in a sense of seeing my body 964 01:05:03.519 --> 01:05:08.000 and not telling myself I'm wrong for how my body looks, and more times 965 01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:10.880 I did that again, then I'd be able to have a little bit more 966 01:05:11.800 --> 01:05:15.000 confidence to go out and safer spaces around friends and realize, Okay, I 967 01:05:15.079 --> 01:05:20.679 accept my body. When you accept yourself, other people will accept yourself more. 968 01:05:20.719 --> 01:05:25.239 Because you are showing up in that energy. People will conform to you. 969 01:05:25.360 --> 01:05:28.320 And now you're probably saying no, but people do still say this, 970 01:05:28.400 --> 01:05:30.880 that, and the third. If that's the case, they're not for you. 971 01:05:31.119 --> 01:05:35.239 Stop moving around people who do not accept you one of two things. 972 01:05:35.280 --> 01:05:40.800 They either conform or they either don't like who you are, and those people 973 01:05:40.960 --> 01:05:44.800 are not for you. That's really just what it is. So with that 974 01:05:44.920 --> 01:05:48.159 said, that's going to be everything. I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. 975 01:05:48.880 --> 01:05:53.119 There is a lot of confidence talk in this episode, but I love 976 01:05:53.159 --> 01:05:56.039 talking about confidence because I feel like over the years, I've really built it 977 01:05:56.079 --> 01:05:59.719 and I'm still working on myself. I'll just put out a disclaimer. Not 978 01:05:59.800 --> 01:06:02.719 every single day I'm feeling myself, but the days that I don't feel myself, 979 01:06:02.760 --> 01:06:05.440 I tap right into self acceptance. It's fine, you don't have to 980 01:06:05.480 --> 01:06:10.079 be perfect. Who said? Who said? Okay, I don't need to 981 01:06:10.079 --> 01:06:13.559 be flawless. Okay, my skin's breaking out right now, which I don't 982 01:06:13.559 --> 01:06:16.320 know if you guys can see on camera, okay, and it's gonna go 983 01:06:16.320 --> 01:06:19.320 away. And the more you detach and the more you like focus on other 984 01:06:19.360 --> 01:06:24.079 things in your life, the skin gets back to normal whatever. You know 985 01:06:24.119 --> 01:06:28.079 what I mean. So anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed again. Monday. 986 01:06:28.079 --> 01:06:30.400 There's gonna be no episode, but just go binge watch some other stuff. 987 01:06:30.440 --> 01:06:33.159 Everything that I will have that I mentioned will be linked down below, 988 01:06:33.199 --> 01:06:36.199 including my book, The Ultimate Globe Guide. Can't wait for you guys to 989 01:06:36.239 --> 01:06:40.119 get it. And I'll see you guys in the next one. Bye.