Certain things we don't really talk about on the radio show as much. I
didn't really talk about my colonoscopy and the issues with that this weekend. But
I had like the bad stomach bug and I went home from work on Friday.
You remember Friday. I left it like ten o'clock. Yeah. Yeah,
you were out of here pretty quick because there was like probably halfway through
the show. You sat down and You're like, oh, Johnny, it's
hitting me. And I was like, well, you got to go make
it to ten o'clock. You didn't know you had finished full show, but
it was Thursday. You got to leave around because you couldn't. Yeah,
you can't hold your your stuff in. Well. People said, why in
the world would you do colin oscoby prep and then come into work, And
I said, because I've never really had an issue with it before. And
that was the first time that I've ever really like, you know, struggled
with it. Anyway, I'm not getting into a whole lot of details,
but it was a rough weekend, and on Friday, it did something that
I'd not done that I remember since I was in junior high. And I
call it junior high because that's in Colorado. We call it junior high.
And that was the last time I remember being sick enough that I laid in
bed. Because usually when you're sick, when you're a kid or an adult,
especially when you're a kid, you sit there in your pj's in front
of the TV. Mom brings you popsicles, Dad makes your chicken soup,
and you watch Prices. Right, I didn't want to watch anything. I
didn't want to eat anything. I just laid in bed and just m I
think i'd groaned and I don't remember, but was just miserable. Anyway,
felt a little bit better Saturday, enough to like sit up and watch TV.
Sunday went to the Mall of America. I'm not going to diss the
product that we bought, but there's a new store at Mall of America and
it has to do with something athletic, and I don't want to tell you
exactly what it is. If you write to me and tell me you're write,
I'll tell you what it is. But but it was a bit We
walked by the store, we said, Hey, that looks cool, let's
go in there and check it out. So we walk in. It's a
very boutiquish store. Okay, and they sell something for fits. They basically
sell one thing in different varieties for fitness, and I'll tell you what it
is off the podcast. And so we're like, oh, that sounds really
cool. And so I was proud of myself that I discovered this, and
I was going to talk about it and talk about it maybe like on my
radar. And we went home and tried it and it was not good.
Oh oh no, yeah, it wasn't good. You eliminated most stores.
I kind of figured you weren't talking about like some of the big stores because
you said it was a newer one. Yeah, and you said athletic.
So yeah, I don't know what store it would be and what you would
have bought. I'll ask you after. Yeah, it's anyway. So and
then yesterday I felt good enough to go for a walk. But if you
are only going to wrap it up by saying if you get a colonoscopy,
col anoscopy, most of the time you got nothing to worry about, but
maybe one in twenty times, it's like, oh, that was rough.
All right, let's move on to the emails. You ready, Jenny,
I'm ready, all right, here we go. When you are trying to
fall asleep, says Alison from Minneapolis. Do you imagine anything in your head
to help you sleep? I I have found that if I print I'm sleep,
If I pretend I'm sleeping, I fall asleep faster. Or I also
might pretend I'm in a tent camping by a bonfire. It's weird, but
it works. I asked my dad and he said he thinks of his image
from his childhood. It was an image of a little boy sleeping printed on
the back of a cereal box. My dad doesn't remember why it was on
the cereal box or why he still remembers it from so long ago, but
he claims it helps him go to sleep instantly. Do you guys do this
at all? Or am I just a weirdo? I would love to know
what others think of to help them falling asleep as well. Love you guys.
Hope this email is worth a sticker. That is absolutely Allison. I
will send one to you, so thank you very much. Sometimes I think
that I think of like something pleasant from my past, like a road trip
or a camping trip or something like that, instead of trying to think about
all the things that I got to deal with tomorrow or whatever. Yeah,
I used to. When I was young. I would think about like my
favorite thing that happened in the day or something, or think about like a
family trip to the Wisconsin Dallas and I'd go over like the details of each
day in my head. And now, unfortunately, I just think about every
stupid thing I said throughout the day or everything I need to get done.
Like my brain cannot focus on anything but like a to do list now when
I'm going to sleep, And it's like I'm just people that like can't shut
it off, and I can't, and I've tried. I've tried to be
like, think of something pleasant, think of being on a beach or snowboarding
or something and that you love. It just doesn't happen for me now as
an adult. Yeah, And sometimes those thoughts get in your head and it's
really rough, especially if you had something traumatizing, like if your cat just
died. Good luck falling asleep six hours after your cat died. Yeah,
how are you going to fall asleep? You're gonna lay there and toss and
turn. And that's a hard thought to push from your mind and think about
your trip to Wisconsin Dell. So I usually to answer your question, Alison,
I try to think of something pleasant, like an old trip or memory.
Next one from Eric. I've looked through Jenny's post about her trip to
Tahiti. I have some questions. I don't know where to send them,
so let's do this. I was wondering if you guys rented a car Jenny,
we did. Yes. I think that that's important unless you are booking
a ton of excursions, then you might not need one, okay. Also,
is mainland Tahiti have enough activities in sights for a full week or do
you really need to go over to another island Morea Morea, Yeahrea to get
the full experience. Absolutely would not recommend spending more than like two to three
days in Tahiti. I would It's only a thirty minute ferry ride to Molrea,
so it's not hard to get there. Bora Bora is very expensive and
it's another flight away, so it adds up a lot if you're trying to
go to other islands and there's other ones you can go, I mean,
the French Polynesia have like one hundred and seventy islands or something. But wow,
But I would recommend only doing a couple of days in Tahiti, and
then we did five days in Molrea, and I think that that was almost
like a day too much, like we could have probably done like four days
or something, so like a week worth of vacation in between the two islands.
How was the faery They said they get sick on faerry rides. Was
it manageable or would I get seasick? Was there a lot of waves?
I will be honest, The ride there was very simple. We sat on
the front, like on the outside deck and watched like the approaching island coming
up. But on the way back Andrew almost like lost it because he gets
he gets e motion sickness. Well he just can't do like roller coasters and
stuff like that anymore. And it was really wavy on the way back,
and we sat inside and I think that that helped, but it didn't really
bother me. But I don't deal with that, so I would say,
pack some dramamines if you can, and it shouldn't be too bad. And
like I said, it's only a half hour, so if you can tough
it out, it really isn't that bad. It just depends on, like
you know, the weather that day. And I actually there was an earthquake
like in the Southeast Asia area, like the day before when we were taking
the ferry. So I think the waves were affected by that and that's why
our ferry ride was real bumby. Uh. That's thing about seasickness. I
never know when it's going to hit me. I went on a gambling boat
one time off of Fort Myers years ago with Susan. Everybody got sick.
It was miserable, but Susan did not. I went snorkeling in the Bahamas
twenty years ago. It was miserable until we got in the water. Once
she got in the water, there was no boat rocking back and forth.
But yeah, seasickness can just know well with your experience. When I see
like these big cruise ships on TikTok or something and they're like going back and
forth even though they're these huge ships, I don't know how people handle that.
Like I've been on the TikTok side where it's all these people going to
Antarctica lately and they have to go through the Drake passage and it's like a
lot of times it gets delayed getting to Antarctica because the drake passage can be
so like treacherous. Oh, Jenny, it's so interesting. Yes, I
don't know how, Like I would love to do what they're doing, but
that would scare me to even be on a boat when they're like, yeah,
it's gonna be okay today, but you're still rocking back. Oh Okay,
I'm going to stop and we're going to talk about the Drake Passage for
a second. Okay. I just read a book called The Wager, and
if we do a What's on your Radar this week, I'm going to talk
about the book The Wager. Yeah, and I picked it up on a
whim on one of the best seller tables at Barnes and Noble. The Wager
is a ship, a British ship from two hundred and fifty years ago,
and it was sailing from England around the tip of South America the Drake Passage,
which are the most violent seas in the world because apparently the Atlantic and
Pacific come crashing against each other and it's cold and it's icebergs and it's awful.
And the fact that cruise ships go through some of the most violent seas
in the world sounds horrible, scary and really exciting at the same time.
If I could do that and not get seasick. I would do it in
a heartbeat. That would be super cool if you want to read a really
good book and you're into that kind of thing. The Wagers about this,
you know, this man o war would sailing ship from two hundred and fifty
years ago that's going after treasure and they're trying to capture a ship. But
then they get sick and the ship gets damaged and they get shipwrecked and it
is called the Wager and some of them survive, and how they survive is
not no, it's not what you think, is not cannibalism. It's just
really such a great story called the Wager. Okay. Next one, ar
Cheeto's at Chip. Sydney writes in we had people come over to play the
games and we got into a debate. Oh, I've never thought about that
one before. Ar Cheeto's a chip. Possible arguments Here we go, They're
a chip because they're in the chip aisle. Rebuttal, so are pretzels and
popcorn? True? If they're not a chip, then what are they?
Rebuttal? Just like a pretzel, they're their own thing. If you need
a classification, I would call them a puff. Further rebuttal well, then
ar Cheetos puffs considered puffy puffs. The answer is yes. So what do
you think our Cheeto's a chip? Sidney? I love you. I don't
know. I did. They're not a chip in anymore. No, they're
not a chip. They are Okay, I don't know. I just I
would put them in the same category. I know that it's a different shape
made differently. But for me, I've always thought Cheetos are chips. They
come in the little snack packs and the variety of chips that you get with
your lunches that you pack for your little cold lunches in high school and stuff.
Yeah, Cheetos have always been chips to me. Okay, what would
you say though? Are you saying that they'd be pussised or their own thing?
There's their own thing. I think if you call them a chip,
it's not a huge sin. But they're just really not a chip. They're
a cheeto. It's kind of like I'm trying to think of, you know,
she said, popcorn is not a chip, Pretzels are not a chip,
Fredo's are a chip. Bugles are bugles at chip or our bugles?
Bugles I would say a chip, they're chip. Okay, interesting debate,
let us know what you think. Thank you, Sidney. Next one,
I've got my Dave Ryan staff writer sticker and my other sticker, so thank
you so much. They are proudly on display on my Stanley water bottle.
But I wanted to email and start the random topic of the day, duo
lingo. I believe Dave tried babbel at one point to learn another language.
I did, and it didn't work. It just was not in any way
clicking in my mind at all. I don't remember a bit of it from
day to day. I just finally gave up Spanish right learning Spanish. Yeah,
and I think I got to cancel my subscription because I'm still a member
over a year ago. Oh, I was so excited to remember. If
you want to try to learn again, try Duo Lingo. It is very
interactive and takes on the approach of a gaming style of learning. Highly recommend
Plus it's more motivating with streaks and unlocking chess for points. That's all for
now, have a great week, Kendra. Thank you. I think I
will try that one because I think it'd be really cool to learn enough Spanish
to at least say a few phrases. And you know, if I ever
meet some who is I told you about the time. This was so stupid
and embarrassing, and it's me being a stupid white guy. So I get
out of the car one day and there's some guys doing yard work in my
garage and there they look like they're Mexican. So I walk up and I
go ola, because I want to be like friendly, and some of them
don't you know. I thought they would appreciate me speaking Spanish, so I
said hola, and one of them goes, hey, how are you,
And I'm like, ah, fuck. He had the whitest Minnesota accent.
Ever he's Mexican. I mean, I guess he was Mexican. And I
thought, what a dumb white guy thing to do. But at the same
time, my intentions were good. Yeah, I believe him. My mom
started speaking Spanish to the Taco Bell drive through person one time because she I've
never seen my mom. I've seen my mom drunk like maybe three times in
my entire life, and this was the night where she was drunk, and
we went through the Taco Bell drive through and she started speaking Spanish and I
had to shout at her, and I said, mom, like, this
isn't an authentic mexicanstot where everyone there might be of like the Spanish or Mexican
descent or something, so you better shut it. And she just kept screaming
olaf to the person working that drive through, and I apologize to them.
Oh my god, that is so funny. All right, I got time
for one more. Then we're gonna take a quick break and then do a
little edit here. I want to say thank you from Danielle for the staff
rider sticker. I fall into the group of still not picking a place to
stick it because I'm afraid I will gret. I will regret where I put
it. Anyway. She tells a story about how somebody she's got two kids,
and somebody went by the flashing school bus stop sign an arm that goes
out. They went racing by without even stopping. God, and she's like,
oh my god, and she tried to chase and yell and whatever,
and the bus driver was able to get video footage. They caught the driver.
They have a fine of up to one thousand dollars, ninety days in
jail and or community service. It's gratifying to know that the person got what
was coming to them. I hope they learned a lesson as well. I
wanted to share this and ask if any of you or people listening have any
good stories of people in the wrong getting what they deserve. Thanks for reading
from Danielle. I do. And one of my favorite is one of the
DJs that was here in town that was basically he was an asshole and he
eventually ruined his career by being an asshole. And one of the funniest parts
was when he got fired from his job. He called KATIEWB and said,
hey, yeah, I'm calling to ask if there's any openings, and my
boss said, are you fucking crazy? Won't ever fucking call us again?
So I was very happy to see that karma finally bit this guy in the
ass. Yeah. Mine is just like literally a car was racing through everyone
in standstill traffic on ninety four and then a cop saw them. Actually they
were on what the side one and then the cops saw them and they got
pulled over with him second. So that was karma right there. If you've
got one, would love to hear it, Send that in to Ryan Show
at KTIWB dot com. All right, on to the next email. Here
we go. There's a little seamless edit in there, so let me hit
the delete button on Danielle's email and we'll move on to this one. Here
we go from Marie, can you give my cousin Katie Joe a shout out
on the Minnesota Goodbye for her birthday? We've both written in two or three
times, two or three years now to do this for each other. Our
birthdays are both in February, only ten days apart. She will have turned
twenty eight by the time they read this, since her birthdays on February nineteenth.
Cheers to now being in our late twenties. Here's something to chat about.
Katie and I have have a new baby, her niece, my cousin
in the family, who was born Valentine's Day. We both commented on how
that is going to suck. Getting Valentine's Day theme gives her entire life.
Since her birthday is February fourteenth, poor girl will never escape pink and red
hearts. That being said, if your birthday had to fall on a holiday,
which holiday would you choose for it to fall on? And in contrast,
which would be the worst holiday to have your birthday on Oh good we
love listen to you guys. Would love a staff Rider sticker if there's any
left and Dave has the time, of course, Marie, I will.
I'll send one to you and one to your cousin. So just go back
shout out Katie Joe one day late on your birthday, Okay. I would
say July fourth would be a good day to have your birthday because it's the
only big summer holiday, right and I want to sell my birthday. I
wasn't saying it's summertime. Also, see I thought that at first, but
then I think I'm going Halloween. My girlfriend was born really close to Halloween
and she has a party every year for it, and so it's kind of
like there's a built in celebration with Halloween and or the fourth of July.
So I feel like that's nice to have your birthday around the time, but
it's not like a present celebration. You're not expected to bring presents, so
you're not being forgotten about in the present department. So obviously the worst one
would be Christmas time. I think if you celebrate Christmas, that would be
the worst holiday to have your birthday around. I don't think there's the worst
one that I can think of than Christmas. I was going to actually say
one of the worst ones I think would be how Halloween. My birthday's a
week exactly before Halloween. I never suffered for it. But if you want
to have a birthday party, you're going to have to move it away from
Halloween because nobody's coming to your birthday party on Halloween. Yeah, because they've
got to go trick or treating or they got a Halloween party. That's true.
But if they're into Halloween, then you just host the Halloween party every
year and then it's also your birthday party, like my girlfriend does. So
it works out great, you know what I mean? I guess. But
that's for more of an adult, right true. As a child, You're
right, it would have to be a little bit different. But they could
still throw a Halloween themed birthday party if they wanted to. I mean,
I guess they could. Yeah, all right, are you into Halloween?
Because I feel like a lot of October people are really into that holl not
really into Halloween. I try to enjoy it. I do enjoy handing out
the candy. I turn on my fog machine. Yeah, I bought the
giant ukulele plane skeleton last year. No, you forgot about it. You
got two years ago. I got two years ago. I forgot to put
it out this past year. Okay, all right, this is I'm going
to read that one on the air. It's actually kind of funny, so
I'm gonna save that one for on the radio. Here we go. Last
week, a gen X boomer man wrote and asked for a millennial for millennial
sex advice. Jenny had some great advice, but one more tip. You
and your partner should read smutty books. I'm not talking straight up poor nothing
wrong with that, of course, but I'm talking about books that have a
plot hot sex scenes. I've also learned so much about but desires and my
partner and I have learned so much from these books. I would share more,
but even though I feel like you are my BFFs, I'm shy.
I recommend Sarah Kate, Kennedy, Ryan and a Huong hu Ang, Nikki
Sloan and Sierra Simona's authors to try again. They are spicy. Don't read
them if you're a prude. You guys are the best. Dart lick.
Dart lick, anonymous reader I think the problem with that would be getting your
partner to read a smutty book with you if they have no desire to have
sex with you. Yeah, I think this smutty book would be a great
aid with somebody who you're already have a great sex life with. Yeah.
I've never read books that are just like smutty books. It's been more of
like the ones I'm reading right now, where it's mythical and fairies and stuff,
and then there's like sex infiltrated into it. So I've never read just
like straight smuddy books besides your Fifty Shades of Gray. But that was a
little I don't know, I guess extreme if you're into like BDSM kind of
stuff. But yeah, I think that what Dave said is, yeah,
if you're both reading it at the same time, it might work. Yeah,
if one's reading it and the other one and then you tell the other
person to read it, it's like, does that work out? And there
hasn't been another Fifty Shades of Gray porn book out? Remember how big that
was twelve years ago. Sure someone will email us in and tell us that
there has been. It just probably wasn't as mainstream. But no, I
agree there hasn't been really except for now everyone's into these fairy books and they
all call it the fairy porn. What is tell me again with this?
That was the Aqatar series that I'm reading, but there's a lot of other
ones too. But it's a Court of Thorns and Roses, and it's just
got a lot of really seductive scenes. Attention. There's a lot of tension
built up to like these big sex scenes, so you're just like waiting for
it and stuff, and then you know, there's some weird things that happen.
They are fairies. Yeah, Okay, you ever heard of giant test
porn? Okay, only because I think you bought it up before. I
never heard a giant test porn, but I'm very happy to bring it up
here on the podcast. I didn't know what giant test porn was, but
it was like, what is There was an article four or five months ago
something like what is the number one searched porn in the fifty different states,
and so you got like, you know, by porn, lesbian porn,
straight porn, multi racial porn, whatever, and then several of the states
had giant test porn. So I looked it up. Yeah, and from
what I could tell from doing a little bit of research, it is animated,
computer generated giant women making love to tiny women, like by insertions and
things like that, and it was just really weird. Hey, quickly running
out of time. Send your emails to ryanshow at KDIWB dot com.