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Made a decision face sunny, so
I had a vision. Hey, everybody,

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welcome to for crying out loud.
Guess what what that voice is not

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Lynette? Lynette is God. This
bitch went to Florida to like, I

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don't know, celebrate her birthday or
something like I have some me time.

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Whish. That's so not what moms
should be doing. It's so seventies.

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Really, she's on strike. She's
on mom strike. She's walking around picking

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herself. Yeah, yeah, having
some meat to Anyway, we have Robin

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Wazinski. Robin, Hi, everybody
here, I am, and we're still

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gonna make this a great show.
I mean, Robin's gonna try her best

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to bring bring the Lynnette sparkle to
the show. No pressure at all.

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Thank you. You know what,
Robin, you have your own sparkle.

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Thank you, you have your own
likeli, how you doing good? Little

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sweaty but yeah, very hot in
here. See I'm starting to get the

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blow of it. It's like,
you know, when you first get in

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your car in California and it's one
hundred and fifteen degrees in the car,

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Yeah, and you don't feel the
ac at all for a little while,

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but then suddenly you're like, oh, I'm starting to feel human again.

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Yeah, I'm waiting for that.
We can't swap places. No, I'm

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just I'm just complaining. It's what
I do these days. Listen, we're

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in Patrick's garage. Basically, it's
nice. It's really nice. It's really

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nice. Well, there's video,
right, so people have seen his croge.

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Yeah, but it's not like we're
like panic around. That's true.

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You know what we should do,
Kalin, for our video. We should

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put our for Crying Out Loud logo
behind us when we record. That would

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seem so profession it would that would
be that'd be sweet. You don't have

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to do it right the second too, Alight, Alright, let's go.

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You know what. While you do
that, I'm gonna say hi to our

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people and chime in if I remember. I will chime in because you probably

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sometimes skip this part. Not usually, but we'll see. All right.

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How about Elizabeth Williamson know anything about
her? Nope, She's got a lot

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of kids. Okay. And what
does ried to do with Elizabeth Williamson's kids?

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Does she accost them? No?
Start it? How about hero Yamashta

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Yep, his kids love him,
they sure do. And what about Jacob

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Crowley, Well, he's growley.
He is growley, but like the sweetest,

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sweetest, it's like a little part
he and Leslie Acosta. Yep,

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she's at Ikea right now. I
started waiting by the elevator, trying to

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traffic, not kids, though she
doesn't. She tries to. She's trying

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to traffic grandparents, to say,
people's elderly parents who are Yeah, you

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know she does is she kidnaps them
and then she gives them to other families

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who don't have like a working grandparent. Well, I mean that seems charitable.

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That's almost a by working, I
don't mean having a job. I

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mean like actively helping their child with
their kids, loving them, buying them

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stuff to animals, buying them things
like parents would never buy them. Nope.

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Yeah, you know what that reminds
me. And I'm going to tell

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you this little story a little bit
later about going shopping with Xander. But

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there was a woman in line who
was clearly talking to her mom, and

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she was like, mom, well
obviously that's how she was talking to her

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mom. But she was like,
weren't you saying you wanted to buy nice

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things for like whatever her kids is
Amelia because I'm in line right now with

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like a hole we have a haul
and I was thinking, God, that

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must be so nice. What must
that be like to be able to like

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I mean, I see if she
feels like paying like logistically, how does

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that work? Then as a mom
just gonna venmo her whatever the total is.

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Probably she's going to be like,
oh my gosh, I can't we

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just spoil my Amelia? Huh?
I don't know. Yeah, weird anyway.

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Ashley she's so chic, and Nikki
call your girl? And Randy may

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aimes yep, she's got three names
yep. And Rachel's a newcomer. Oh

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she's a newcomer. Not who dies? And Aaron who is? Who does?

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Yeah? And Athena consured she can
dance, she's got the moves,

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uh huh. And Polly she makes
great pancakes. Well it's really the syrup.

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Oh, Polly Pocket, Polly Butterfield
and Valerie, Bubba Fenwick and Katerina

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that Mueller checked. And Gabby and
Missy where are they now? I don't

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know. Have you seen him?
No, no one's seen him. And

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I've seen mug shots, but I
haven't seen them in person. Maybe they

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were accosted by Leslie Ishan vajpay frown. I always wonder if he's offended by

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that, or if his fiance is
or do you think she's flattered? She

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probably loves it because he is super
cute. He is really cute. Kelly

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brand She's she's not your an,
ye Alicia's Gavante from the city of El

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Monte and Leslie Okay, COVID's back, so I understand if you're coughing,

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I guess, but get a cough
drop. It's been too long. Sarah's

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Stafon, Oh she's your Paisanoh,
Jennifer, get up, don't fall,

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Sandrett's Udy's being green, Christa get
this strap? And Stephanie stinker wrinker.

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Oh boom boom. That was the
longest shout out ever. Right, it's

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long because you know why, we
have fans that love us and support us,

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and they deserve it. They do
deserve it. They deserve us to

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take our time. Yeah, what
is happening with you? School has started?

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Rob For those of you who don't
know, Robin is a teacher.

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She teaches first grade. She spent
many, many years teaching kindergarten. Yea,

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and when my when I had that
full year on Zoom with kindergarteners.

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Yeah, I chose to move to
first grade the following year and loop that

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whole class with me so I could
have them in person, And that was

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really amazing and I totally special bond
with those kids because it was such a

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weird couple of years. But I'm
really glad I did that, and I'm

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actually really enjoying first grade. Believe
it or not, that one year makes

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such a difference in just independence.
Like there's I mean in kindergarten. I

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know it's such a silly cliche to
say it's like herding cats, but it

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really is. It's like you tell
one person to do something and they're You're

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only talking to that one person and
the other twenty five are still wandering around.

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It's even with an announcement. They
have to learn watch what other people

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are doing. When I'm talking to
the class, I'm talking to all of

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you, and it's very very hard. Let me ask you this, I've

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always kind of wondered this. I'm
sure we've talked about it at some point.

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But okay, so you start,
let's say you start kindergarten. You've

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got a brand new class, and
you know you're only the first parent teacher

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conference is usually fairly early in the
year. Yeah, what the hell do

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you have to say about all those
kids so their parents, so that you

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sound like you really are getting to
know little Joey well by that time,

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Because we have our conferences the end
of the first trimester. We have three

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grading periods, so on kindergarten,
we don't give a report card the first

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trimester. We actually just sit down
with every parent and talk to them about

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how they're writing. But it's only
you're only like a couple of months into

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school. Yeah, but you get
to know a kid pretty quickly, and

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by then, I've also done formal
assessment, so I know like where they

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are academically with number cents and letter
recognition and blending and some kids are reading.

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And by then also you kind of
just get to know like what their

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preferences are and what they like,
and what their behaviors are like and if

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you need to talk to a parent
about it. But if a kid is

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having behavior issues, the conference would
not be the first time a parent was

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hearing about it. Really. Yeah, Oh my gosh, No, Like

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I just had back to school night
and I said, you will never be

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surprised on a report card. You
will have heard from me if I have

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concerns, either academically or behaviorally.
So so that's that call you really don't

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want to get. M Hi,
this is missus Wazinski, and I just

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wanted to chat with you, if
we could just have a few minutes to

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chat about Jeremiah. And sometimes I'll
say, have you been waiting for me

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to call you? So often you
just know they're seeing the same behaviors at

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home and are just waiting for somebody
to confirm it. Well, confirm it

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or just pray, just wing in
a prayer that things are different at school,

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you know, but a lot of
times they're not. I've actually had

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an experience where I had a little
boy who I knew one hundred percent was

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on the spectrum, but he was
undiagnosed, and so I called her.

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And you can't ever give a label
or a diagnosis to a parent. You

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can only tell what you're observing.
So when I called her, I said,

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I just wanted to talk to you
about some behaviors I've been seeing at

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school, and I wanted to see
if you're seeing the same things at home.

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You know, he's really having a
hard time transitioning from one activity to

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another. He's crying when he gets
frustrated, he takes his shoes off and

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he climbs under the table. I
mean, he was having huge behaviors.

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And I was probably two sentences in
and she broke into tears and she said,

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missus Wazinski, do you think he
has autism? And I said,

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well, I can't diagnose him,
but if you have concerns, we can

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certainly help you find out. And
it all sort of came out that she

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had had concerns for years and the
family was like, you worry too much.

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She's fine, It's just he's just
young. And so I think she

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was so relieved that finally another person
was like, yeah, there's something going

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on, so let's figure it out. So within a couple of months he

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out a one on one aid and
oh wow yeah, And was she like

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grateful. Yeah, She's was just
a lovely, such a neat mom.

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I still see her, and I
still see him. He's in sixth grade

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now and taller than me. And
how's he doing. He's sweet, you

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know, he's still it can tell
he's on the spectrum, but obviously not

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tantruming anymore and really just sweet and
quiet, but he talks, and so

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yeah, he's a really meat kid. Have you had that happened a lot?

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I feel like a lot of kids
are on the spectrum. Yeah,

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and a lot of them come into
kindergarten undiagnosed, because again, I think

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there's just so much denial that can
happen around it that it's like, Okay,

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well that's just I think you probably
keep giving yourself like benchmarks like okay,

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well we'll talk to the pediatrician at
three. Well now let's just do

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preschool. Okay, well let's wait
till kindergarten. And if preschool didn't talk

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to them about it, they've convinced
themselves that there's not an issue. But

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I'm always the one to bring it
up. So, yeah, it's happened

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a lot. Do you think that
there's I mean, I remember I know

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a person who had a kid who
was kicked out of several preschools first for

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behaviors that seemed to indicate some sort
of issue, but she just wouldn't hear

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it. She was just like,
Nope, my kid is just very bright,

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and it's just she doesn't like to
be told what to do, and

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she was reading really really young,
like very very young, taught herself to

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read, which can be a red
flag, right right, But I mean

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she just would not hear it,
kind of still won't even though her kid

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ended up in like a special school
and they were like only I mean,

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she got kicked out of a lot
of schools, but she just wouldn't.

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It's just so interesting to me because
I I feel it, and I know

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I'm sure I've said this on the
podcast before, but everyone is so worried

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about their kid having a label.
But people are going to label your kid

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for their behaviors and either they're going
to be calling them a jerk or rude,

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or they don't want their kid near
them, or they have a label

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of autism. So people can start
being educated and understanding, you know,

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how can we be more flexible with
this kid? How can we help them

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transition and engage with other kids instead
of just having being sort of hostile toward

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them. Sorry, labels are going
to happen, so let's make it the

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actual label that can get them some
help. Have you personally experienced where you've

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called and been like, Okay,
this parent is going to be relieved and

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you're like, are you seeing these
behaviors and the mom goes, Nope,

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it's only happened once and it wasn't. I didn't think it was autism.

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I thought there was a language development
issue, and they were just like,

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no, please find at home.
You know. I offered to have the

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speech therapist just come in and listen
to him and see what she thought,

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and they just refused, so I
had to document it. Super bright kid,

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but I that expressive language, there
was something going on with it.

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So every other time in your many
years of teaching, the parents had been

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open to like, oh thank you
for telling me. Well, they couldn't

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not because behaviors were so outrageous.
Something had to give, you know,

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right, I mean, when you're
having extreme behaviors, then the parents willing

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to listen, especially because the parent
is having issues at home too, so

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they yeah, or kids have come
in diagnosed. But yeah, right,

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every other time that I've had concerns, we've followed through to getting a diagnosis.

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But sometimes is the behavior not egregious, but you're just seeing some stuff

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that maybe you think the parent isn't
seeing, and you feel like you want

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to give them a heads up because
it would be good for them to look

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into some kind of interventions. I
usually don't if a kid is performing academically

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on grade level, if they're kind
of going with the flow socially, even

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if I know that there's probably something
going on, no, I do not

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bring it to their attention, because
because it's so subtle, it's that would

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be a really awkward conversation, especially
if it's not impacting their performance in the

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classroom or in the playground. You
know, that's okay, it would have

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That would be a conversation I could
only have, like with a friend,

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and even then I probably wouldn't.
I remember, you know what, Let's

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take a quick break, and then
I'm going to tell you something I remember,

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Okay, you know what we should
talk about neutrafule. I am so

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curious about neutrofle. So my hair
is pulled back in a ponytail, and

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I'm starting to thin, I get
my temples, so I was really self

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conscious about pulling it back. So
I'm very curious about it. I was

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00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:43,000
having it in the front by my
front part, and I used to think

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00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,759
it was from pulling it back in
a ponytail, but I realized it's just

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00:15:46,919 --> 00:15:50,639
normal aging. Hormones, Like,
it's just what happens to a lot of

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00:15:50,639 --> 00:15:54,720
women. And I realized, Oh, it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

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There's treatment for that, and that
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214
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All right, I am committing to
trying it good and then let us

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00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:22,920
know, okay, how it works
for you. I just remember, I

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know I've I've told you this story. I've told this story on the podcast,

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but it just stands out to me
as I want you to tell me

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whether you think this teacher was being
inappropriate or no. Okay, okay,

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this was second grade Xander, No, first grade, first grade Xander.

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Okay, so you can re late
first grade teacher Xander I was told was

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being fidgety. Uh do you remember
this story? No, But I'm thinking

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of my kids. It's like I'd
be talking to a lot of parents if

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00:17:53,599 --> 00:17:56,680
that was my Well, that's the
thing, Xander was being fidgety, and

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he was. And this is one
of the those things where I know you

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probably think that a lot of parents
are like, oh, my kids just

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bored. That's why they're But but
her complaint to me wasn't that Xander was

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trying to like engage his classmates.
He was being chatty, which, Hi,

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he's my son, so like he
and he was laying down sometimes when

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they're supposed to be like sitting up
or he would put his legs out.

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He wasn't sitting. They were all
supposed to be sitting like Chris Chriss Applesauce,

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00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:32,359
staring at the teacher, and Sander
would like like put his legs out

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00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,839
and he'd have to be reminded a
lot of times by the teacher. And

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00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:40,759
uh, she said he was being
he was getting very distracted. So I

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00:18:40,839 --> 00:18:44,720
said, do you think he could
be bored? Now, I know that

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00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:49,839
that's kind of a thing that parents
probably say, right right, exactly right,

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00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:55,640
yeah, but what happened? So
but in the in the conversation,

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00:18:55,839 --> 00:18:59,519
I was like, well, what
exactly are you saying, like because it

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00:18:59,599 --> 00:19:03,160
seemed to be a big enough issue
for her to take me aside to tell

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me that Xander's fidgety and just easily
distracted. So I was like, well,

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00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:12,680
what are you Is this like code
for d And she said, what

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00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:17,039
you kind of said? She was
like, I can't. I can't diagnose.

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00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,559
But you know, if you wanted
to ask your pediatrician about that,

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I think that would be like a
good idea. HU Xander does not have

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ADHD okay at all. So but
hey, I was like I got upset.

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You know, I was like,
oh, okay, Like if this

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00:19:33,799 --> 00:19:37,599
is obviously a big enough problem,
I really thought that Xander was bored.

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00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:41,920
He's very bright. He's he's I'm
not trying to be one of those parents.

258
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:47,799
He's probably he just has like a
different kind of brightness that he thinks

259
00:19:47,839 --> 00:19:51,319
deeper. He likes to think about
things. He's super curious. He has

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00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:56,559
like oftentimes a lot of questions when
he's interested, he gets everything without he's

261
00:19:56,599 --> 00:19:59,960
so he says stuff to me that's
like way funnier than stuff I could.

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00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,359
I think I have to say.
I'm always like, okay, this kid's

263
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:06,720
ahead of me. So I was
genuinely like, well, maybe because they

264
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were a lot of the kids were
behind, and they were making all the

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00:20:11,039 --> 00:20:15,880
kids read at the same level during
this time. Well then cut to like,

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I don't know, a week or
two weeks later, she's like,

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oh, by the way, Xander, I decided to take my advanced readers

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and put them in a little book
club and give them a harder book to

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read and discuss. And she's like, and yeah, it's totally fine.

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Now he's doing great. Yeah,
And I was like, because because he

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was bored, right, I didn't
say that to her, But do you

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00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,960
think that was well and weird that
she's made it? Tried to make it

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seem like my kid at a Yeah. I mean, especially the whole fidgety

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thing, because it is really hard
to sit on the rug criss cross apple

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sauce, and it's hard to do
it for an extended period of time,

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right, And even if you're totally
fascinated by the curriculum, you know,

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and a lot of it's not that
fascinating, right, So I actually this

278
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:03,000
year I've started, so there are
some kids who just need more space,

279
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so I give them like a square
on the edge. And kids have a

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choice of how they sit, so
criss cross is one of the choices.

281
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:17,720
Sticks is another choice where you you
know what, you can see me right

282
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:22,000
now doing sticks? Sticks, good
sticks. I like you're being very cooperative,

283
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:29,680
Stephanie, and stick and mountain mountain
is this like on your knees but

284
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low on your knees. I mean
I can't like with your feet under you.

285
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:40,200
Oh okay, okay, yeah,
so those are sitting on your shins.

286
00:21:40,279 --> 00:21:44,359
Yeah, like your tushes on your
feet. Yeah yeah, yeah.

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00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:48,640
I just don't like a double you
because that's actually really bad for your hips

288
00:21:48,839 --> 00:21:52,599
on your knees. Yeah, what
about what about this kind of mountain?

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00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,759
I call this double hills? Oh
maybe I'll introduce double hills. Double hills

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00:21:56,839 --> 00:22:00,519
is good because you can kind of
like hold your legs and it's it's strong,

291
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comfortable. Yeah it is. Oh
that's a good one. Okay,

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00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,160
Oh my gosh, more choices.
I know. How fun do you do?

293
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,839
Do you employ the thing with the
kids where they can choose how they

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00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:14,079
greet you, like handshake, high
five, or hug. We do that

295
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,799
on when we go home at the
end of the day, so they can

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00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,000
choose a handshake, a high five, or a hug. And then but

297
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:25,680
somebody implemented the fist bump today too. I said, no, it doesn't

298
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,880
start with an ah. Sorry,
sorry, Charlie. No, not my

299
00:22:30,039 --> 00:22:33,359
idea. I won't do a fist
bump. You sound like a really good

300
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:37,440
teacher because you have really strong back. I mean, I like that.

301
00:22:37,839 --> 00:22:41,319
I didn't actually do that. You
know what I did. I gave her

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00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:48,920
a fist bump. How Like,
I want to know how different is it

303
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:53,079
teaching now than it was like when
early teaching? Because I have seen a

304
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:57,440
lot of like burned out teachers.
How do you keep the fire burning?

305
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:07,680
You have a retirement date. I'm
sorry, I'm being facetious. I don't

306
00:23:07,799 --> 00:23:11,440
you just have to kind of do
new stuff all the time. I don't

307
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:15,680
like completely turn over my curriculum every
year, but I'm always doing something new

308
00:23:15,799 --> 00:23:21,039
or creating something new, because I
mean, if I'm bored, imagine how

309
00:23:21,079 --> 00:23:23,480
bored they would be. So I
actually did a lot of reading this summer.

310
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,839
Well, I shouldn't say a lot. The first two weeks of summer.

311
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:36,160
I took a deep dive into content
and science of reading and just some

312
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:41,839
stuff that's really building now that a
lot of districts aren't even talking about.

313
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:47,000
So really changing a lot of the
way I'm teaching reading, Like high frequency

314
00:23:47,039 --> 00:23:51,160
words are supposed to be memorized,
but actually if the kids know the phonics

315
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,559
rules, they're all decotable. Oh
really, Yeah, Like the word the

316
00:23:55,119 --> 00:24:00,720
is a th, it's a digraph
and a schwa THHG is actually decodable.

317
00:24:00,559 --> 00:24:06,480
So there are just some kids who
can't memorize stuff, but they can decode

318
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:11,799
things. But then don't you feel
like they would be constantly sounding out words

319
00:24:11,839 --> 00:24:14,720
that you just see all the time. Isn't it kind of better to be

320
00:24:14,759 --> 00:24:18,160
like, oh, you just see
the word and you say and eventually they

321
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,599
will, you know, after enough
repetition, they won't have to sound it

322
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:26,440
out. It's more for those times
when they come to an unknown word and

323
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,599
it's a high frequency word. It
doesn't do one bit of good if they

324
00:24:30,599 --> 00:24:34,559
haven't memorized it, But if they
have the skills to decode it, then

325
00:24:34,759 --> 00:24:41,160
they can read anything, right,
So just more of a focus on that

326
00:24:41,559 --> 00:24:48,200
and actually just different spelling rules and
sound rules. Let's talk about my favorite

327
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:52,400
topica, bad parents and bad other
teachers. You know, I like to

328
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:59,400
keep things negative where let's hop onto
the negative bandwich. Yeah. Well,

329
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,720
here's the thing. You are a
teacher, and as long as I've known

330
00:25:02,759 --> 00:25:04,440
you, I've been impressed by the
fact that you go above and beyond.

331
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:10,279
Sometimes you'll hear Lynette and I complain
about a certain teacher. We also,

332
00:25:10,559 --> 00:25:14,960
contrary to popular belief, brag on
teachers that we have that we love.

333
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,839
Right now, I'm just going to
preface this convo, was saying that Sadie

334
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:23,440
and Xander both love every single one
of their teachers. Oh my god,

335
00:25:23,559 --> 00:25:29,039
every single one. And it's incredible. Did I tell you that. Sadie

336
00:25:29,079 --> 00:25:32,640
was telling me mom for the first
time, like she said, I really

337
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:37,039
like my English teacher. They're in
honors English at their school, which Sadie

338
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:42,759
was not able to do honors classes
at that one traumatizing year of middle school.

339
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:48,720
But she's been doing. We have
such good teachers and such interesting curriculum.

340
00:25:48,759 --> 00:25:52,559
Anyway, she told me they're reading
Frankenstein. Oh, but she said

341
00:25:52,559 --> 00:25:56,640
it's the old right, she said
it's the Mary Shelley version, right,

342
00:25:56,680 --> 00:26:00,359
And she said it's like she was
like, it's really really hard. It's

343
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,720
kind of like you know, like
Shakespeare. It's what you thought it was.

344
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,279
No, Yeah, but she said
that the teacher is making it really

345
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:11,599
interesting and like translating it, like
like taking it bit by bit and telling

346
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:17,759
them, you know, helping them
understand the story. And she's like,

347
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:22,240
it's really interesting. I'm actually really
enjoying it. I've heard no complaints.

348
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:25,599
Xander told me he likes every single
one of his teachers a lot. Wow,

349
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:30,279
And that's that's a first, right, that's huge, That is huge.

350
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:36,000
Last year was pretty good. Yeah, last year was pretty good too.

351
00:26:36,039 --> 00:26:38,920
But you know, coming from that
middle school year where every teacher sounded

352
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:44,160
like a nightmare, mister Zippity Doodop, the math teacher, that was like

353
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:51,519
I've always wondered, why are some
teachers so so bad and like seem like

354
00:26:51,559 --> 00:26:55,240
they just don't like kids and want
to humiliate them, and some teachers are

355
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:59,279
so so good and go out of
their way. I feel like a lot

356
00:26:59,319 --> 00:27:03,319
of it is like a different era, you know, how things have changed,

357
00:27:03,079 --> 00:27:07,759
I mean from even twenty years ago. And I'm going to make a

358
00:27:07,759 --> 00:27:11,319
weird comparison, but like thinking about
the Me Too movement, Okay, there

359
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:17,079
are just certain things that twenty years
ago were totally normal. Getting groped,

360
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:21,359
you know. And I'm not kidding, like, okay, it's just I'm

361
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:26,519
going to totally take a detour right
now. So I had my fortieth class

362
00:27:26,559 --> 00:27:30,839
reunion on Saturday night, and beforehand, a couple of friends and I went

363
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,839
to a bar just because we didn't
want to get dropped in early to the

364
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:37,799
reunion. We just wanted to catch
up with each other. So we walk

365
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:41,440
into this bar, super crowded sports
bar, and this dude at the bar's

366
00:27:41,519 --> 00:27:47,559
probably seventy like locks eyes with me
when I walk in. I'm just wandering

367
00:27:47,599 --> 00:27:51,759
around looking for a table. He
grabs me and like puts his arm around

368
00:27:51,759 --> 00:27:52,960
my waist, and the whole time
he's talking to me, he's like,

369
00:27:53,079 --> 00:27:57,079
keep squeezing my arm, And I
think, are you like, my arm

370
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:02,519
is not as an where you want
to copy feel actually anywhere in my body.

371
00:28:02,559 --> 00:28:07,480
It's like, it's just so weird
about your arms. I don't like

372
00:28:07,599 --> 00:28:11,279
my arms. Just let your arms
get to hide them, relax and let

373
00:28:11,319 --> 00:28:17,799
your arms get groped. Yeah,
except the arm groping, But it was

374
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:22,400
that was from a different time,
right, right, anyone our age or

375
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:26,039
younger would never do that to a
woman, right. So I think back

376
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:32,440
to my high school experience or middle
school experience, that part of the job,

377
00:28:32,599 --> 00:28:37,880
especially a male teachers, was like
to insult kids and tease them and

378
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:42,160
put them on the spot. And
that used to be like acceptable and funny,

379
00:28:42,279 --> 00:28:45,079
and it's like grow a pair,
So it's going to toughen you up.

380
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:51,000
And I feel like the teachers who
are still doing that just haven't evolved,

381
00:28:51,599 --> 00:28:56,119
and they don't think about like what
it does to kids and their feelings

382
00:28:56,119 --> 00:29:00,319
and their self esteem because and some
kids can take it, some kids don't

383
00:29:00,359 --> 00:29:03,240
care. And if a teacher had
done that to me, I wouldn't have

384
00:29:03,319 --> 00:29:06,319
cared. It would have rolled off
my back. If a teacher had done

385
00:29:06,359 --> 00:29:08,440
that to my sister, she would
have been in a heap, you know.

386
00:29:10,359 --> 00:29:15,960
So I kind of think it's almost
generational with teachers. I remember when

387
00:29:15,039 --> 00:29:22,599
I started teaching and being the teacher's
lounge, and the talk was always negative.

388
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:26,480
People would, oh, we and
we are talking thirty five years ago,

389
00:29:27,079 --> 00:29:30,799
you know, kind of talking trash
about kids and about their parents.

390
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:37,160
And at the time this was and
we were a low income school, lots

391
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:41,079
of immigrant families, like, obviously
they're having a hard time, and now

392
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:47,519
we're piling on by talking about them
and having this attitude toward them. And

393
00:29:47,559 --> 00:29:52,480
I remember just making this decision that
I think it's a couple of years in

394
00:29:52,559 --> 00:29:57,599
when I became a mentor teacher and
they talked about that you don't talk about

395
00:29:57,599 --> 00:30:02,799
other teachers, because I would and
observed teachers they would say, you don't

396
00:30:03,279 --> 00:30:07,920
talk about anything you're doing with your
mentees publicly, because then people are going

397
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:12,160
to question, well, you're saying
something positive in public, but what else

398
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:17,079
do you say about me in public? So you just don't talk about other

399
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:21,359
teachers interesting in the lounge. But
I sort of took that nugget and I'm

400
00:30:21,359 --> 00:30:26,680
like, I'm never going to talk
negatively about a kid in the lounge again.

401
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:30,799
And if I need to get advice
about a kid, and if I'm

402
00:30:30,839 --> 00:30:34,440
having challenges with a kid, there's
a way to talk about it that doesn't

403
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:41,599
insult the kid, right, because
I feel like there's just there's a vibe

404
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:45,960
that you're giving off to kids.
If that's how you're talking about them,

405
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:49,720
then that's how you're feeling about them, and it's not fair. So that

406
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:53,599
was just a shift. What if
you have a kid, I mean,

407
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:59,960
and you do have younger kids,
so it's a little it's a little hard

408
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,559
to say, but maybe some of
your co workers have had kids that are

409
00:31:03,599 --> 00:31:07,480
just disasters, like kids that are
maybe a bad seed, kids that have

410
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:11,680
you know, antisocial behaviors. What
do you do? I mean, that's

411
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:17,599
when we get our school psychologists involved
and we ask the family if they're open

412
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:22,920
to counseling. I mean, because
it's there's always something else going on.

413
00:31:22,599 --> 00:31:26,960
You know, it's never just the
kid, right. You know, if

414
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:32,400
it were, then punishment would work
and taking away recess would work. But

415
00:31:33,279 --> 00:31:37,480
it's there's more to it. So
there's probably something going on at home.

416
00:31:37,079 --> 00:31:41,400
There may be something there may be
mental health issues with the kid. But

417
00:31:41,519 --> 00:31:45,480
even then it's not their fault.
They need help, right, So I

418
00:31:45,519 --> 00:31:48,880
mean, I'm I'm like, I'm
not trying to paint myself a hero.

419
00:31:49,039 --> 00:31:55,599
I still get frustrated with kids,
but my goal is for them to come

420
00:31:55,640 --> 00:32:00,759
to school happy and to leave happy, regardless of what behavioral challenges or other

421
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:07,599
challenges they might have. There's always
something good about a kid. There's always

422
00:32:07,599 --> 00:32:12,480
a strength, there's always I mean, the most valuable thing I do is

423
00:32:12,559 --> 00:32:16,119
I have a list, and during
the week I make sure that I talk

424
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:22,920
privately with every kid for at least
three minutes, not about school, just

425
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,240
about how's it going, what'd you
do this weekend, how's your mom?

426
00:32:25,279 --> 00:32:30,440
You know, because that's there's no
pressure with that, and it really it.

427
00:32:31,279 --> 00:32:37,279
That kind of engagement with kids just
changes your connection with your whole class.

428
00:32:37,519 --> 00:32:42,640
Do they ever tell you anything like
really disturbing in that three minutes they

429
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:47,920
haven't. I mean sometimes yeah,
yeah, they call me Robin that kid

430
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:54,440
especially, we're really mature. They
have said things that make me think,

431
00:32:54,839 --> 00:33:00,960
huh. I one of my kids
last year, I asked if his dad

432
00:33:00,039 --> 00:33:05,400
was going to come to open house, and he's like, my dad never

433
00:33:05,799 --> 00:33:08,440
comes to school. My dad would
never be at school. And I thought,

434
00:33:08,759 --> 00:33:13,160
oh, that's so interesting. And
I knew the situation with the family

435
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:19,000
and that you know, gainfully employed, but apparently those lines were very delineated

436
00:33:19,079 --> 00:33:23,839
in that marriage and in parenting that
that was not the dad's job. Okay,

437
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:28,359
kid kind of seemed to accept it, but he was one that had

438
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:35,079
anger issues well, and that mom
was open to counseling, but dad was

439
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:43,480
not for the kid. So yeah, you find out stuff interesting. Yeah

440
00:33:43,759 --> 00:33:49,240
yeah, what about like dud other
teachers? Have you ever dealt with like

441
00:33:49,319 --> 00:33:52,680
and you could think of somebody who's
no longer in the profession, have you

442
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:58,799
ever just felt bad for other kids
because and not not even like your child

443
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:00,920
having a bad teacher, but have
you ever worked around other teachers that you

444
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:07,159
were like my own my own son's
first grade teacher was that teacher just really

445
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:13,199
total hoarder. First of all,
so the classroom was always just a disaster.

446
00:34:14,159 --> 00:34:20,360
And obviously Jack had autism, but
she wanted him not to. And

447
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,599
You're like, yeah, me too, bitch, You and me both bitch.

448
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,519
But I remember and I can't remember. Okay, so you Lenette always

449
00:34:30,519 --> 00:34:32,639
say this. Okay, I've told
this story before, but I'm gonna tell

450
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:37,119
I don't know if I've told this
story before on the podcast. I've been

451
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:40,039
in a long time. I'm telling
it again. I came to school day.

452
00:34:40,039 --> 00:34:44,840
I remember it was the day before
Halloween. And Jack was not an

453
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:52,599
easy kid. He was I think
probably mostly just unfocused, not necessarily disruptive,

454
00:34:52,679 --> 00:34:58,199
but he probably would get mad and
yell out at times. And so

455
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,559
again he was an audiity. Yeah
right, he would call it right,

456
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:10,639
bitch cock sucker, you set cockfin
hell. But he has autism. Yeah,

457
00:35:10,639 --> 00:35:17,280
excuse me, make some room for
my child. He he's bored.

458
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:24,840
And should we take a quick break
before we finished this story? Okay,

459
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:30,480
quick break on that note. Oh, okay, we're back. Yeah.

460
00:35:30,559 --> 00:35:35,800
So he had a few Okay,
they were I mean in fractions, let's

461
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:39,840
say. Yeah, and the big
threat now was you know, Jack Wazinski.

462
00:35:40,039 --> 00:35:45,559
You're going back to kindergarten. I'm
all right whatever. I loved this

463
00:35:45,679 --> 00:35:51,360
kindergarten teacher and it was going to
be like for a day or whatever.

464
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,960
So I don't know what she was
serious though, I was going to send

465
00:35:55,039 --> 00:36:00,360
it back. That was her only
like, that was her tool okay,

466
00:36:00,519 --> 00:36:04,039
was I can't deal with this behavior, so I'm sending you away. It's

467
00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:09,000
like, wow, your toolbox is
empty. So I come in after school.

468
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,440
Wait, how did you find this
out? Did Jack come home and

469
00:36:12,519 --> 00:36:15,280
tell you? No, they must
have called me. I think he got

470
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:19,559
sent to the office, so I
can and actually maybe not, because that

471
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,480
was during the grade where you had
to go pick them up from the classroom.

472
00:36:22,519 --> 00:36:24,079
In first grade, you actually want
to pick them up from the classroom.

473
00:36:24,119 --> 00:36:32,039
Okay. So I'm getting an earload
about this. So and I'm standing

474
00:36:32,039 --> 00:36:37,199
there and this is in the presence
of the teacher of me. The teacher

475
00:36:37,519 --> 00:36:42,599
gets down in Jack's face, and
this is the day before the Halloween carnival.

476
00:36:43,159 --> 00:36:46,840
She said, Jack Wazinski, if
I had my way, you wouldn't

477
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:52,440
be able to come to school tomorrow. And this is how she's talking to

478
00:36:52,559 --> 00:36:57,360
him in front of me. And
I'm standing there and everyone's like, oh

479
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,239
my God, what did you do
to her? I might nothing. I

480
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:06,039
was completely frozen. It seems like, you know, I'm an advocate.

481
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,920
I'm a badass. I know how
to teach. And all I did was

482
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:15,960
tried not to cry. And I
stood there and I said, are you

483
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:21,440
suspending him? No, but he's
been a real handful or whatever. I

484
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:24,880
said, Okay, well he'll be
at school tomorrow. And we left and

485
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:28,760
he said, so, can I
not go to the carnival? I said,

486
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:32,440
no, you could go to the
carnival. Fucking bitch. I didn't

487
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:37,199
say that to him. I stayed
neutral. I never said a negative word

488
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:40,119
about her. He actually loved her. But you know, he was the

489
00:37:40,199 --> 00:37:45,519
kind of kid where we would spend
two hours on homework and he wouldn't turn

490
00:37:45,559 --> 00:37:52,360
it in because like, he's an
executive functioning disaster, and so how hard

491
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:57,159
would it be for you to ask
Jack for his homework? And then I

492
00:37:57,199 --> 00:38:00,880
would go into volunteer and I'm like, Okay, here's the problem, because

493
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:05,719
what I think about a lot in
my classroom is flow and pathways, And

494
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,800
if they're going to be turning in
something, how do you get it?

495
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:14,880
So it's not a bottleneck? Right? So they turned in their homework first

496
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:19,440
thing in the morning, and the
tray was at the door. So there's

497
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,599
this big crowd. It's like a
who concert, you know, pushing in

498
00:38:22,679 --> 00:38:25,760
on each other and kids digging through
their backpacks. And of course what does

499
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:30,079
Jack do. He shuts down.
He's like, this is chaotic. I

500
00:38:30,119 --> 00:38:31,800
don't know how to navigate this.
I'm going to turn my brain off and

501
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:35,880
go to my seat. It's like, why not then just go get his

502
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,679
homework out of his backpack at recess? You know he did it. It

503
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:43,239
was just it was a ridiculous year. Did you complain to the principle?

504
00:38:43,559 --> 00:38:47,119
Oh? Well, the principle is
another story, same principle. One day

505
00:38:47,119 --> 00:38:53,320
I was on campus volunteering and she
finds me and says, you know,

506
00:38:53,559 --> 00:38:58,880
Jack is have I was in the
classroom today and Jack's having a really hard

507
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:05,159
time focusing. I said, I
said, you know he has autism,

508
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,400
right, She said, yeah,
but he's really not, folks. I

509
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:14,639
said, it's in his I ep
like, focus is one of his biggest

510
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:19,400
issues, and he's bored. No, I didn't say that. He probably

511
00:39:19,559 --> 00:39:22,480
was very fin smart. He wasn't
bored. He was just tuned out.

512
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:30,119
Yeah. I think it was a
chaotic classroom. He couldn't navigate that just

513
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:34,400
from a sensory perspective, and I
think he's shut down. And so there

514
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,480
were times so she I would go
in twice a week to volunteer because I

515
00:39:37,519 --> 00:39:43,360
was still working. I was working. I was only working halftime, and

516
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,039
so I would just like do all
her clerical stuff. And then one day

517
00:39:46,119 --> 00:39:51,480
she said, ah, we have
to learn borrowing tomorrow and math. I

518
00:39:51,559 --> 00:39:54,199
hate teaching that. I said,
oh, I love teaching math. I

519
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:58,000
said, do you want me to
come in and do the lesson? Would

520
00:39:58,039 --> 00:40:01,440
you? I'm like sure. All
she could talk about how was how rowdy

521
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:07,840
this classroom was, and they couldn't
They wouldn't focus on any lesson. I

522
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,519
swear to God, Stephanie, you
could have heard a pin drop during my

523
00:40:10,639 --> 00:40:16,320
lesson because I was putting numbers on
kids to represent the digits and what happens

524
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:21,519
when that end They got to use
manipulatives and they were up and talking and

525
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:28,079
it's a lady, you can't teach
borrowing on the chalkboard. It doesn't work.

526
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:34,280
So that was a disaster of a
year. Sadly, hearing these stories

527
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:38,079
just makes me kind of sad because
it takes special teachers to think how do

528
00:40:38,159 --> 00:40:42,639
I engage kids? And I feel
very lucky that we found this school,

529
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,360
even though it's very, very small, and I wish my kids were at

530
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:50,760
a big, slightly bigger school.
But when I went on the tour of

531
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,480
the school, I mean, that's
what they're doing in high school. Like

532
00:40:52,559 --> 00:40:59,800
they were teaching economics, senior year
economics. And I told you what I

533
00:41:00,079 --> 00:41:04,280
toward the school. These kids' faces
were lit up and they're like, do

534
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:07,119
you want us to tell you what
we're working on. We're doing these economics

535
00:41:07,119 --> 00:41:12,159
thing and this person owns a store, and this person is a distributor,

536
00:41:12,199 --> 00:41:15,880
and this person makes the product.
And they had these bags of candy and

537
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,840
they were like, and we're figuring
out how many and these people are consumers.

538
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:22,440
They're there to buy it and this
is the money. And it was

539
00:41:22,519 --> 00:41:25,119
like a whole lesson on, like
a real life lesson on economics. And

540
00:41:25,119 --> 00:41:30,519
these kids looked so happy right where
they got to actually do something. Yeah.

541
00:41:30,599 --> 00:41:34,920
Yeah, as opposed to I've I've
as you know, my kids have

542
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:38,360
school hopped a little bit, so
I have been to and before Elbie started

543
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:43,960
high school, I toured a bunch
of different high schools, and you know,

544
00:41:44,039 --> 00:41:47,760
I watched I went into classrooms where
kids just looked like so bored.

545
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:51,480
They looked like they were about to
fall into a coma, you know,

546
00:41:51,639 --> 00:41:54,800
just staring at the teacher just droning
and like a textbook in front of them.

547
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:59,320
And I was like, I just
it's triggering to me from my high

548
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:04,159
school because I could not focus.
Yes, I'm sure I had undiagnosed ADHD.

549
00:42:04,679 --> 00:42:07,800
I don't know if med's would have
helped me. I just think I

550
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:12,639
was just bored. I didn't care. I didn't care, and no teachers

551
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:15,559
really made me care, except for
my one teacher who taught teenagers in the

552
00:42:15,639 --> 00:42:21,400
law and it made everything really fun. And he was had a sparkly personality.

553
00:42:21,599 --> 00:42:23,719
All the kids hated him. They
all hated him, mister Steckelstein.

554
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:30,559
It was quirky and he wore like
a polyester colorful polyester suits and he was

555
00:42:30,599 --> 00:42:34,719
weird. And I with a drumstick
and would hit the drum on people's desks

556
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:37,880
if they were looking like they're sleepy. And I was interested in the law.

557
00:42:37,199 --> 00:42:40,119
I like true crime, like before
it was hipped to like true crime,

558
00:42:40,559 --> 00:42:45,000
so I was like I loved hearing
about like how traffic tickets and like

559
00:42:45,119 --> 00:42:49,519
how to avoid in shoplifting and where
are the charges? It was teachers,

560
00:42:49,639 --> 00:42:54,280
interesting stuff, fascinating to me.
But I also I think also teachers have

561
00:42:54,400 --> 00:43:00,440
to tell kids that they're glad they're
there, you know. Yeah, it's

562
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:04,320
if you just need to be happy
to see kids, and if you're not,

563
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,800
you shouldn't be teaching anymore. So
I do think. I think about

564
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:14,079
my school and there's not one teacher
that I would label as a bad apple.

565
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:20,480
Honestly, they're also into it and
if something's going awry, they try

566
00:43:20,519 --> 00:43:23,679
to get help, and we meet
together and we mentor each other. I

567
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:30,280
mean, it really is a dynamic
school. But are you just saying that

568
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:31,800
because you think they're all going to
listen to the show? No, no

569
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:36,880
one, if I did not tell
anyone I'm on this show. No,

570
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:43,400
I'm actually saying that I love them
all. I feel that good teachers can

571
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,559
make such a huge impact. I'm
so proud to be your friend and like

572
00:43:46,639 --> 00:43:51,000
for what you do. And I
know we told this story before too,

573
00:43:51,039 --> 00:43:58,599
but like your students and their parents
remember you years later, like when you're

574
00:43:58,599 --> 00:44:01,880
an impactful teacher. You know we
told this story before, but We were

575
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:07,159
at this fundraiser years a few years
ago, many years ago, because pre

576
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:14,280
twenty twenty, right to sixteen,
probably eighteen because it was yeah, mid

577
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:17,760
terms. Anyway, we were at
this Democratic fundraiser and the woman came over

578
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:22,400
to you starts crying, are you
missus Wazinski? No, she didn't say

579
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:25,360
was Inski. Yeah, it was
that long ago. Yeah, And I

580
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:30,280
was like, what is happening here? What's this lady all emotional about Angel's

581
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:32,599
mom? His name was Angel?
I mean, how perfect is that?

582
00:44:32,599 --> 00:44:37,480
That kid was so sweet? Yeah, that was fun, and they're sure.

583
00:44:37,519 --> 00:44:42,320
I have another kid whose mom was
my student. Oh my gosh.

584
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:46,000
And ninety one did she remember you? Oh yeah, And I totally remembered

585
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:50,800
her. I remember that class like
the back of my hand. Yeah,

586
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:57,159
because that was and eighty nine was
when we got the big influx of the

587
00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:02,559
Armenian immigrants because of the earthquake.
Oh. So all those kids are just

588
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:07,039
you know, they were my first
kids, and they were all learning English

589
00:45:07,079 --> 00:45:13,840
and figuring out how to find friends
and just the sweetest little girl. And

590
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:16,599
she still looks exactly the same,
really, and her little boy is so

591
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:22,800
cute, Oh my gosh, but
he like he's all boy. He fidgets.

592
00:45:22,039 --> 00:45:27,199
He has a hard time, but
he's funny and he likes learning,

593
00:45:27,519 --> 00:45:31,760
and so fidgeting is not an indicator
of like a learning disability. It's an

594
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:36,880
indicator of needing to move your body. Yeah, I just you know,

595
00:45:37,079 --> 00:45:42,639
I wish that more teachers that I
knew of. I mean, because like

596
00:45:42,679 --> 00:45:45,119
I said, the good ones are
so good. The bad ones have been

597
00:45:45,199 --> 00:45:51,760
so bad. They just seem to
dislike kids and not see kids as anything

598
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:55,719
but something that gets in the way
of teaching if they at all have any

599
00:45:57,119 --> 00:46:00,320
individuality or if you know, to
me, I feel like a lot of

600
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:05,199
kids want to socialize. They're at
school. A big part of being at

601
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:07,199
school, right, kids talk about
it. The most important thing to kids

602
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:13,079
at school is not like learning math, it's making friends, saying your friends,

603
00:46:13,159 --> 00:46:15,760
being with other kids. And then
you get these teachers that like,

604
00:46:15,079 --> 00:46:20,280
you're not allowed to say one word
to your neighbor. First of all,

605
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,280
it's not really your neighbor. I
wish we need to stop saying neighbor,

606
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:29,880
next door, seat mate, your
friend, your classmate, whatever. Anyway,

607
00:46:30,159 --> 00:46:32,159
I'm just saying, it's like,
it's not it's not so abnormal or

608
00:46:32,199 --> 00:46:37,400
they're not doing something against you,
Like I understand that it gets disrespectful if

609
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:42,039
they keep chatting and chatting and chatting
and you're trying to teach during direct instruction,

610
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:45,039
it would be tough. But or
then they should allow some time for

611
00:46:45,159 --> 00:46:51,000
kids to work with a partner or
chit chat a little bit or you know,

612
00:46:51,159 --> 00:46:55,639
I've just or something. I've known
of teachers Elbe had this where if

613
00:46:55,639 --> 00:47:00,039
they were done. A lot of
teachers nowadays let kids go on their phones

614
00:47:00,119 --> 00:47:05,199
when they're not doing anything else.
Yeah, there are certain teachers that do

615
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:07,800
not and collect phones at the beginning
of class. But a lot of teachers

616
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:12,000
have kind of adjusted to, like, listen, if this is our world,

617
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:14,800
rather than pull out a book because
they're not going to do that,

618
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:19,079
go ahead and pull out your phone
on have earbuds if you want to watch

619
00:47:19,159 --> 00:47:22,920
tiktoks or whatever. But there are
certain teachers. Albi has told me that,

620
00:47:23,039 --> 00:47:25,880
like, let's say you're doing a
test, this happened, I don't

621
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:30,039
know, and you're all done.
You cannot chat with a friend, you

622
00:47:30,079 --> 00:47:32,840
cannot look at your phone, you
cannot do anything. You have to sit

623
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:37,079
and stare into space. Oh my
god, you can do more in prison,

624
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:43,559
I know. That's why. I
don't why that's punishment, that's an

625
00:47:43,599 --> 00:47:50,360
actual punishment. That's so weird.
Yeah, yeah, I mean I hopefully

626
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:54,119
they're close to retirement. You know, I don't know why all I want

627
00:47:54,159 --> 00:47:59,719
to talk to you about is teacher
teachering teacher. Right, Wait, there's

628
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:02,239
more to us and our friendship.
He just wanted to see queen. Yeah,

629
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:07,360
that was so fun. I had
such a sore throat the next day

630
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:12,719
because I was screaming and singing every
song, especially kay Tell. The kay

631
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,880
Tell was amazing. Yeah, and
we made friends with that lady who never

632
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:21,800
contacted either of us all about getting
us a T shirt. She was friends

633
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:25,000
with the band, yeah supposedly,
yeah, like good friends with them.

634
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,719
And she was like, listen,
I'm going to hook you up. They

635
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,119
didn't have they didn't have their own
merch table, but she was going to

636
00:48:30,159 --> 00:48:34,320
hook us up with a Raglan shirt. Yeah. And we were so excited.

637
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:37,199
And she took our email addresses and
no liar blew us off. Yeah.

638
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:42,239
See, if we ever go see
your friends back again, we will,

639
00:48:42,519 --> 00:48:45,079
and we will. And we went
with lyle Le Crock. Oh.

640
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:50,400
They had so much fun. He's
the sweetest, Yeah he is, and

641
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:52,320
he totally talked more this time,
did he. Yeah? Remember, and

642
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:57,039
they drive home he was actually chiming
in and kind of having fun, like,

643
00:48:57,119 --> 00:48:59,880
yeah, he seems like he's coming
out of his shellow a little bit,

644
00:49:00,079 --> 00:49:01,239
a little bit. I had to
ask Xander a couple of times.

645
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:05,800
I was like, is Lyle having
fun? And Xander's like, yes,

646
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:10,800
I promise, Like, well,
he needs to tell his face. His

647
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:16,159
face missed the memo. He just
always looks very intense, like he's really

648
00:49:16,199 --> 00:49:21,440
like but apparently he was. He
went home and told his mom like how

649
00:49:21,519 --> 00:49:24,039
much fun he had, and he's
he'd never been to a real concert.

650
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:28,159
Yeah, well, because it was
the first time Xander had been to like

651
00:49:28,159 --> 00:49:31,239
an actual venue, outdoor venue,
real venue. Yeah, that was fun.

652
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:36,320
And you took we took them to
their first music show. Yeah.

653
00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:40,519
I remember. We ran into one
of my students at Queen remember, yes,

654
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:45,360
I think that's what I was thinking. So funny. I was excited

655
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:50,199
to see my student kid. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and I have

656
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:54,159
his little brother this year, so
we got some generations going. That's so

657
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:58,239
cute. That was cute, Kaylin. Do you feel like you get stuff

658
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:01,320
out of hearing teacher talk now that
you of kids. Yeah, I mean,

659
00:50:01,559 --> 00:50:06,039
I think they need to be a
little bit older still. I think

660
00:50:06,039 --> 00:50:09,159
they're just still a little too young
for you to care about, for you

661
00:50:09,199 --> 00:50:15,880
to give a shit. I just
think it's wow, the fact that you

662
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:21,840
had that terrible teacher but didn't complain
to anybody, because you know me,

663
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:25,400
what can I do? You know
they would have one and my kid moved

664
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:30,400
out of a classroom with somebody who's
being mean. Well, here's here's the

665
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:34,639
other side of the story. Jack
loved her, right, he thought she

666
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,880
was great. But I can think
of another person from Jack's life that he

667
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:44,400
loved. It was pretty mean.
Yeah, that's true me, you know

668
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:49,800
who I'm talking about. Yeah,
it was another big, big interest of

669
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:55,159
Jack's, something he loves to do. Oh my god, how come I'm

670
00:50:55,199 --> 00:51:00,360
not remembering this being shows? Oh
yeah, yeah, yeah, yes,

671
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:05,760
and was very tolerant of somebody who
could be pretty mean. Yeah. It

672
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:13,440
was different though, And I think
people who have kids in theater would vouch

673
00:51:13,519 --> 00:51:19,320
for me that those directors are as
hard on them as they are loving on

674
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:25,679
them. I think it's a delicate
balance, and so I cut some slack

675
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:30,880
there, especially because it's a relationship
that he really needed. You know there

676
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:37,960
was he needed that, so I
cut slack. I'm sensitive to like people

677
00:51:38,039 --> 00:51:42,000
don't need to be mean to kids. On the other hand, let's talk

678
00:51:42,039 --> 00:51:46,920
about asshole parents. Okay, I'm
sure I have been one obviously, Yeah,

679
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:51,719
But I mean I really try,
and I've been doing better. I

680
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:57,559
really do try to like check my
entitlement, you know, I have,

681
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:01,119
I can tend to. I think
this has to do with my upbringing.

682
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:07,360
Get very defensive of my kids,
of myself. They need to be nicer,

683
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:08,320
you know. It's hard for me
to see, like, oh,

684
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:13,440
maybe my kid was doing something wrong, you know, but I really do

685
00:52:13,599 --> 00:52:19,320
try to take a beat and understand
from the teacher's perspective, Like I can't

686
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:22,599
expect every freaking teacher to be Mary
Poppins and like loving on my kids and

687
00:52:22,639 --> 00:52:29,320
making everything magical. It's fascinating.
I get that. So I do have

688
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:34,480
to take a step back sometimes,
I know I do. With orthodonics offices

689
00:52:34,559 --> 00:52:37,159
and blah blah blah. I am
learning, I'm trying. Some of it

690
00:52:37,199 --> 00:52:45,000
is is exaggerated for humor, but
some parents, I do think. I

691
00:52:45,039 --> 00:52:49,559
think I at least have the ability
to look back on when I've been a

692
00:52:49,599 --> 00:52:55,119
little too HASTI or impulsive or gotten
upset and check myself, but are their

693
00:52:55,239 --> 00:53:00,400
parents? You know, what do
you do about the really entitled parent like

694
00:53:00,559 --> 00:53:06,599
me? Times ten? I think
I have a really strong personality and a

695
00:53:06,679 --> 00:53:14,840
big voice, so parents rarely mistreat
me. And if they are upset about

696
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:17,280
something, I do the same thing
you do. I take a beat and

697
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:21,840
try to figure out where they're coming
from, because it's their kid, so

698
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:24,480
clearly they think something's going on or
they have an issue that needs to be

699
00:53:24,559 --> 00:53:30,480
resolved. So there have only been
I mean, I can only think of

700
00:53:30,039 --> 00:53:37,079
two offhand that were really inappropriate.
And it wasn't even to me. It

701
00:53:37,159 --> 00:53:45,079
was with other parents and the parent
was approaching other parents about their kid's behavior.

702
00:53:45,119 --> 00:53:51,599
Oh yeah, and so that's when
I stepped in. And they didn't

703
00:53:52,079 --> 00:53:55,960
they apologize. They it was a
father. Was the other kid's behavior pretty

704
00:53:55,960 --> 00:54:02,239
bad? No, it was typical
and his kid was participating in it too,

705
00:54:04,599 --> 00:54:07,840
like bullying. It wasn't bullying,
it was Are we too quick to

706
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:13,719
say the word? Absolutely? I
am so tired of saying the word bullying

707
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:22,360
because and bullying is targeted repetitive towards
someone who's at a lower step than you.

708
00:54:22,599 --> 00:54:27,960
For lack of a better word.
So someone pushing a kid once on

709
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:34,559
the playground isn't bullying. It's being
physical and probably needing a time out.

710
00:54:35,079 --> 00:54:37,760
If that keeps happening over and over
again, if they keep finding that same

711
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:43,920
kid to do it, then that's
bullying. But it has to be targeted

712
00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:51,360
and repetitive. So yeah, a
lot of kind of typical behavior is labeled

713
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:58,119
bullying. So when a parent emails
me about a bullying situation, I'll generally

714
00:54:58,159 --> 00:55:02,599
ignore the word bullying and just addressed
the behavior. So it's because I'm not

715
00:55:02,639 --> 00:55:07,119
going to be able to educate them
on what the word actually means or they

716
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:13,960
use it for any kind of aggression
towards their kid. Yeah, but you

717
00:55:15,199 --> 00:55:19,920
you get some Karen's yeah right,
for lack of a better Okay, So

718
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,519
I was using the word. Yeah, I had a total Karen mom.

719
00:55:22,679 --> 00:55:30,280
It's probably ten years ago when I
was still partner teaching, and so this

720
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:36,719
mom had daughters who were driving and
a little girl in my class, and

721
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:40,679
she was always on time to pick
her up. And one day she was

722
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:45,280
in the office waiting and waiting,
and I was getting worried because this was

723
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:49,920
really unusual. So I tried calling
the mom's phone and the dad's phone.

724
00:55:50,239 --> 00:55:52,199
I didn't know that the sister was
the one who would be coming and picking

725
00:55:52,199 --> 00:55:58,480
her up. And when she finally
got there, I said, oh,

726
00:55:58,599 --> 00:56:04,360
I was really getting worried because your
mom's usually on time. She said,

727
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:07,400
oh, there was traffic on Glendale
Bulvard. I said, Okay, in

728
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:12,000
the future, if you have a
way to call me safely, please call

729
00:56:12,079 --> 00:56:17,679
the school and let them know.
Okay. The next day I got a

730
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:24,880
two page letter tearing me a new
one for attacking her daughter in the office,

731
00:56:25,679 --> 00:56:30,519
talking to her like a kindergartener.
And I was there must have been

732
00:56:30,559 --> 00:56:36,159
ten witnesses to that conversation where I
talked to her exactly like I just talked

733
00:56:36,199 --> 00:56:37,960
to you. And I almost had
to laugh at it, because it's like,

734
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:43,639
I don't talk to kindergarteners like kindergarteners, so why would I. Sweetie,

735
00:56:44,199 --> 00:56:47,599
you should have caught if you're gonna
be you know, It's it was

736
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:52,920
the weirdest sort of strike out against
me. And I just looked at my

737
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:55,760
partner and teacher and I said,
I'm never dealing with that mom again.

738
00:56:55,920 --> 00:57:00,239
She's yours. You're going to do
the conferences, You're gonna swert. I

739
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:05,320
got it. That was the same
year that the dad was confronting other parents

740
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:07,440
and she's like and he's yours.
It's like, okay, fair enough.

741
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:12,639
Oh my god, that's hilarious.
So I can't pass people off now,

742
00:57:12,719 --> 00:57:15,920
so I have to be really diplomatic. Okay, well this reminds me.

743
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:20,519
Will you remind me for Friday's show. I have a something that I've been

744
00:57:20,559 --> 00:57:23,840
really interested in that I've been watching. Just say it's something you've been watching.

745
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:28,920
Okay, Kaylin, are you sick
a little bit? O? Jeff

746
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:32,320
Covid No, I don't know what
it is. Oh boy, all right,

747
00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:36,880
listen, this has been so fun. I have you for Friday because

748
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:39,039
Lynette is out for the week,
so we have we have more time to

749
00:57:39,079 --> 00:57:43,480
tell more stories. But before we
go, let's do a shout out for

750
00:57:43,559 --> 00:57:46,840
Kelly from Wilma and Freda. You've
been there. Oh it was so good.

751
00:57:47,039 --> 00:57:53,360
You had the salmon too, did
right with that? The sauce oh

752
00:57:53,519 --> 00:57:58,800
so so good. So they make
the best brunch. But obviously they also

753
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:04,239
have like dinner food when they do
little shows, and they have cilantro Haulapenia

754
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:07,599
wings and yes, the Seven Spice
sugar and crusted salmon. Anyway, go

755
00:58:07,719 --> 00:58:12,679
there, palm springs or a palm
desert. Willman frieda also basic. Becky

756
00:58:12,719 --> 00:58:16,039
could hook you up with a T
shirt or a mug or a mouse pad.

757
00:58:16,239 --> 00:58:21,440
I have to get another Scott Bayo
mouse pad because mine is wearing.

758
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:24,440
You guys say, here's his worn
out Scott Bayo blocked me so lucky?

759
00:58:24,519 --> 00:58:28,880
Or I need to stop using mouse
pads. I wonder the other like my

760
00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:31,000
brain is trying to process how you
use a mass mouse? You still use

761
00:58:31,039 --> 00:58:35,039
a mouse? Yeah? Do you
use a mouse klin on my desktop?

762
00:58:35,119 --> 00:58:37,239
Yeah? Yeah, well wade to
use as a mouse, but it's a

763
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:40,800
stationary kind. Have you seen those? And it doesn't hurt your wrist?

764
00:58:42,079 --> 00:58:45,400
Oh? I don't know. I
didn't care about that all right. Also,

765
00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:50,199
my guy, Adam Lerner, Ye, he's a car broker. He's

766
00:58:50,239 --> 00:58:52,800
so good. He's been helping a
lot of her crying out loud people get

767
00:58:53,039 --> 00:58:57,360
sure. So he tells me he
gets calls all the time, so he's

768
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:00,360
happy to just chat with you.
If you're like, I don't understand exactly

769
00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:04,119
what a car broker does, he
will educate you and help you figure out

770
00:59:04,119 --> 00:59:07,119
if if he can be of help
to you. He will save you money.

771
00:59:07,159 --> 00:59:10,199
His number is three one zero nine
nine eight seven zero four eight,

772
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:15,559
or you can go to his website
Adams got Acar dot com. And let's

773
00:59:15,599 --> 00:59:19,800
just do one more. The Family's
Skeptical. It's a podcast. This is

774
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:22,719
an interesting line. Yeah, where
it's about. It's a mom who started

775
00:59:22,719 --> 00:59:28,840
a podcast about raising her kids without
religion, and I love that. I

776
00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:31,320
think that is really cool. And
you know, she can't even she feels

777
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:35,159
like she can't say her name because
she doesn't want anybody giving your show,

778
00:59:35,239 --> 00:59:37,519
which is interesting. I guess I
understand that, but it's like, that's

779
00:59:37,599 --> 00:59:43,159
why it's such an interesting podcast,
because you can't just talk about yep.

780
00:59:43,239 --> 00:59:45,840
It's called The Family Skeptical. And
also, if you guys are looking for

781
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:52,679
a podcast, I have another podcast
called board af that is really funny,

782
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:59,559
so funny, and it's just we
talk about whatever and it's weird coverage of

783
01:00:00,119 --> 01:00:04,599
just like that. Oh that's Pricks, Rose Rose Pricks. I have three

784
01:00:04,639 --> 01:00:07,199
podcasts, this one bourd a f
which is a podcast about nothing but it's

785
01:00:07,199 --> 01:00:12,280
funny, and Rose Pricks, which
Cecily and I've been covering. We've this

786
01:00:12,320 --> 01:00:15,280
season of and just like that,
and we are hate watching it and reporting

787
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:19,760
back so good, check it out
so bad anyway, Thank you, Kaitlin.

788
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:27,519
You're a part now, don't I
put up letting go.