WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.280 --> 00:00:05.360 Welcome back to the Black Girl Experience. I'm your host, Jasmine Dan Yale. 2 00:00:17.760 --> 00:00:25.359 I am back. I am back, man. Life is so crazy, 3 00:00:25.600 --> 00:00:34.159 life is so funny. I always want to come on here and drop 4 00:00:34.159 --> 00:00:37.960 an episode. Always, like I have my days where I'm like, dang, 5 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:43.320 I aren't recorded and five six days. It's been a while, But 6 00:00:43.560 --> 00:00:50.000 I always have to remind myself that I feel like I've grown from the space 7 00:00:50.399 --> 00:00:55.560 where I initially started with recording the podcast, Like, and I say this 8 00:00:55.600 --> 00:01:00.159 a lot on here that you know, I started out on here recording five 9 00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:04.079 days a week, dropping content back to back to back, non stop, 10 00:01:04.200 --> 00:01:11.280 giving good quality content, good quality episodes, good quality advice, just good 11 00:01:11.400 --> 00:01:15.760 quality life experience and sharing that with y'all. So I always kind of have 12 00:01:15.840 --> 00:01:21.439 to remind myself that it's okay to take a break, it's okay to fall 13 00:01:21.480 --> 00:01:26.079 back, it's okay to live a little life and experience. And that'd be 14 00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:29.200 the main thing. It's like, you gotta live life a little bit. 15 00:01:29.280 --> 00:01:32.519 J ask me, you gotta let some shit happen so that you can come 16 00:01:32.519 --> 00:01:36.200 back and share that with the world. So that's where I'm at, and 17 00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:38.599 I feel like I've been experiencing life, and I feel like I've really been 18 00:01:42.959 --> 00:01:48.120 living in the moment and just kind of letting whatever happened happen, you know 19 00:01:48.120 --> 00:01:52.159 what I'm saying, Like, I am not gonna lie. I am definitely 20 00:01:52.200 --> 00:01:55.959 a super big control freak when it comes to life, when it comes to 21 00:01:56.079 --> 00:02:00.120 how I want relationships to work out, when it comes to how just I 22 00:02:00.200 --> 00:02:01.799 just want you to pay on out a period, Like I am a fucking 23 00:02:01.799 --> 00:02:07.199 control freak, But you have to surrender to the universe. You gotta live 24 00:02:07.400 --> 00:02:09.800 in the moment, you gotta you know what I'm saying. I don't know 25 00:02:09.840 --> 00:02:12.759 if I came on here and said this, but I had. I was 26 00:02:12.800 --> 00:02:16.639 listening to something one night and it was saying, like, are you here 27 00:02:16.759 --> 00:02:23.039 to experience life or are you here to avoid life? And I think with 28 00:02:23.199 --> 00:02:25.560 me being such a control freak, I feel like I'd be trying to avoid 29 00:02:25.639 --> 00:02:29.159 life a lot of times, you know what I'm saying. But also I 30 00:02:30.639 --> 00:02:36.199 also realized that I'm very in tune with myself. I'm very in tune with 31 00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:38.639 my intuition. So it's also kind of like a lot of the things that 32 00:02:38.680 --> 00:02:44.680 I go through a lot of times can be prevented because I have that that 33 00:02:44.879 --> 00:02:49.159 inner knowing that this ain't for you or you shouldn't go through with this. 34 00:02:50.159 --> 00:02:53.039 But again, obviously there's still a lesson to be learned in certain situations. 35 00:02:53.039 --> 00:02:57.120 But also it's like you're smart enough to know that you don't have to go 36 00:02:57.159 --> 00:03:00.960 through those situations over and over again. So it's just kind of crazy. 37 00:03:01.080 --> 00:03:06.280 But I've definitely been living my life. I've definitely been living my fucking life. 38 00:03:06.439 --> 00:03:08.719 And I think one of the last times I was on here, I 39 00:03:08.800 --> 00:03:12.840 was sharing that, you know, I had some big plans for the weekend 40 00:03:12.960 --> 00:03:15.520 or whatever, and I was like, I'm not gonna tell y'all because if 41 00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:22.120 it don't pan out, I don't want niggas like ha ha big, I 42 00:03:22.159 --> 00:03:25.680 ain't gonna lie of the plans. They changed. The plans did change, 43 00:03:27.199 --> 00:03:31.560 so, um, last weekend, I was actually supposed to go to Dallas, 44 00:03:31.599 --> 00:03:37.240 Texas. I had this whole, big, gass plan for what I 45 00:03:37.319 --> 00:03:42.000 was gonna do. You know, who I was gonna see and everything. 46 00:03:42.039 --> 00:03:45.080 You know what I'm saying, Like, it was a whole thing, And 47 00:03:46.439 --> 00:03:50.400 I had to change the plans because you know, some shit happened. Because 48 00:03:50.439 --> 00:03:53.719 again, life gonna happen, Life gonna happen. Life gonna life, some 49 00:03:53.800 --> 00:03:58.000 real shit gonna happen, you know, and put you on a different path. 50 00:03:58.120 --> 00:04:01.759 So I'm like, well, I'm not doing that anymore. And on 51 00:04:01.800 --> 00:04:05.800 the fly, I just went to Atlanta and I stayed with my cousin and 52 00:04:05.960 --> 00:04:10.280 it was a cool trip. It was a cool trip. I'm not gonna 53 00:04:10.319 --> 00:04:15.360 lie since it was not planned to go there originally, you know what I'm 54 00:04:15.400 --> 00:04:19.000 saying. It was just very last minute, so we didn't really have a 55 00:04:19.040 --> 00:04:24.079 whole plan for the weekend. It wasn't like a whole itinerary said out, 56 00:04:24.079 --> 00:04:26.759 you know what I'm saying, and it was Saint Patrick's Day weekend. But 57 00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:29.439 for what the trip was, it was cool. I feel like he put 58 00:04:29.480 --> 00:04:39.279 a lot of shit into perspective for me because ultimately, like overall, I 59 00:04:39.399 --> 00:04:43.839 enjoyed it. But was it the funnest time of my life? No, 60 00:04:44.120 --> 00:04:46.079 because again it was you know what I'm saying, it was there were never 61 00:04:46.120 --> 00:04:50.120 any plans said place where. It was a very quick switch of where I 62 00:04:50.240 --> 00:04:54.839 was going. And so with there being no plans and just on top of 63 00:04:54.879 --> 00:04:59.199 the fact that that was not where I really wanted to be because I had 64 00:04:59.199 --> 00:05:01.800 a whole plan of out where I wanted to be and who I wanted to 65 00:05:01.800 --> 00:05:06.959 be with. You know, it just it wasn't asked ful feeling. And 66 00:05:08.040 --> 00:05:10.560 so I'm not gonna lie I did. I felt some type of way that 67 00:05:10.639 --> 00:05:15.519 weekend, like dang, I really wanted to be somewhere else. You know 68 00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:16.360 what I'm saying. You know how I feel when you feel like your heart 69 00:05:16.399 --> 00:05:20.399 somewhere else. But I mean, everything happens the way that it's supposed to. 70 00:05:20.920 --> 00:05:26.000 So I ended up going there, hung out with my cousin and her 71 00:05:26.079 --> 00:05:30.560 daughter and her significant other, and you know, we did some little Saint 72 00:05:30.600 --> 00:05:34.000 Patrick's Day shit I had. I told him off top, I'm like, 73 00:05:34.040 --> 00:05:40.160 hey, now I'll take a couple of shots with y'all a couple. I'm 74 00:05:40.199 --> 00:05:44.000 not I'm not indulging in that. I don't drink like that. I don't 75 00:05:44.040 --> 00:05:46.720 like the way that it makes me feel, especially the day after. I 76 00:05:46.720 --> 00:05:49.199 don't want to wake up with a hangover and nigga, I want to wake 77 00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:55.160 up and jump up and just go, you know. And then on top 78 00:05:55.160 --> 00:05:58.560 of the fact that when you drink that don't do shit but make you horny, 79 00:05:58.639 --> 00:06:00.839 and who am I going home to? Nobody? So it was just, 80 00:06:01.120 --> 00:06:03.920 you know, I indulged a little bit. It was cool. I'm 81 00:06:03.920 --> 00:06:09.600 not gonna lie. The weather was really super fucking sucky. It was raining, 82 00:06:09.720 --> 00:06:12.800 real bad, real hard. The first day that I got there, 83 00:06:12.959 --> 00:06:16.560 it was cold as fuck. Um all I packed was fucking yoga clothes in 84 00:06:16.680 --> 00:06:23.879 that bitch. So that's what it was. First night was cool. Second 85 00:06:23.959 --> 00:06:27.439 day, I'm like, y'all know what I came here for. Period. 86 00:06:27.600 --> 00:06:30.199 You know I was coming to do yoga. You know I'm coming to do 87 00:06:30.279 --> 00:06:35.519 yoga. Um. I did a little research and I ended up going to 88 00:06:35.720 --> 00:06:43.000 Sacred Thread Yoga in East Atlanta, and it ended up being a very cool 89 00:06:43.079 --> 00:06:47.079 experience. It was a white yoga studio, so y'all know, that's a 90 00:06:47.079 --> 00:06:49.759 little it's a little different from the trap. But I've been I've been the 91 00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:54.199 white yoga studios. But it was cool. I did a hot yoga class. 92 00:06:54.199 --> 00:06:58.240 It was actually a mindful, hot class. I really liked the flow. 93 00:06:58.600 --> 00:07:00.879 I liked the flow that the teacher did. Um. They was kind 94 00:07:00.879 --> 00:07:03.319 of low key, hayte No. They was like, you can't take you 95 00:07:03.319 --> 00:07:05.720 don't need to take your phone in there. It's gonna be a distraction. 96 00:07:06.160 --> 00:07:09.959 And I almost left that shit out. And I'm like, man, funk 97 00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:13.279 all that I came all this way and I need my yoga content, Like 98 00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:15.240 nigga, I'm taking my phone in this bitch like I need. I need 99 00:07:15.240 --> 00:07:18.839 the video period. So I took it in there anyway and got a nice 100 00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:23.279 video. But like I said, the class operall was really nice. I 101 00:07:23.319 --> 00:07:29.319 really liked the flow m and I just love fucking high yoga. So I 102 00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:32.480 really enjoyed myself and it was I felt like, um, even though I 103 00:07:32.519 --> 00:07:38.600 told you, like overall, I felt like that's not really where I wanted 104 00:07:38.680 --> 00:07:42.399 to be and stuff like that. I feel like the yoga brought me back 105 00:07:42.519 --> 00:07:47.160 to just feeling like myself and feeling like it's still a reason why I'm here 106 00:07:47.199 --> 00:07:50.480 and this is still a great experience for me. So that was really good 107 00:07:50.519 --> 00:07:54.319 for me. And then you know, niggas was just chilling and caught up 108 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:58.279 on my shows and shit a little bit. I watched Swarm, that little 109 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:01.199 new show or whatever with Chloe Bay. Well the bitch was only in one 110 00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:05.120 episode getting hit from the back of the opening scene and then died or got 111 00:08:05.199 --> 00:08:09.360 killed or whatever fuck happened. So whatever, just watching shows, you know 112 00:08:09.439 --> 00:08:13.439 what I'm saying, And you know it was on some chill. Shit, 113 00:08:13.560 --> 00:08:16.240 ain't some good food. I finally had Slutty Vegan for the first time. 114 00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:20.279 That was pretty good. Oh my god, that motherfucker banana pudding was so 115 00:08:20.399 --> 00:08:24.000 fucking bomb. Slutty began very good. Um and the burger was good. 116 00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:26.439 It was fired with the hollapinos on it. I got. I got the 117 00:08:26.480 --> 00:08:31.879 sloppy toppy Okay, only the best I had to get what I give you 118 00:08:31.919 --> 00:08:39.919 feel me, but um no, that was cool. And then Sunday I 119 00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:43.799 was back out early as hill on the early flight back to the city. 120 00:08:43.039 --> 00:08:46.480 But when I said that, the trip kind of put stuff in perspective for 121 00:08:46.600 --> 00:08:54.600 me. For one, it puts stuff in perspective for me about making snap 122 00:08:54.679 --> 00:09:01.159 decisions and being in my feelings because although I was a set in the moment, 123 00:09:01.919 --> 00:09:05.440 and you know, there was a reason why I didn't go to Dallas, 124 00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:11.480 me going to Atlanta again, being in my feelings when I was there 125 00:09:11.759 --> 00:09:15.600 and just you know, just the feeling that this is not where I truly 126 00:09:15.639 --> 00:09:20.759 wanted to be. It was a time for me to be like, hey, 127 00:09:20.919 --> 00:09:24.080 you know, sometimes you ain't gotta just oh, I feel like this, 128 00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:26.639 I'm mad, whine, you know what I'm saying, Like you know, 129 00:09:26.679 --> 00:09:28.639 sometimes you need to sit with your emotions or let yourself cool lot for 130 00:09:28.759 --> 00:09:35.159 whatever, because you know, shit ended up getting worked out to a certain 131 00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:39.000 extent, and you know what I'm saying. Whatever, So it just had 132 00:09:39.039 --> 00:09:46.120 a change of heart about the whole situation overall. Another thing that it put 133 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:48.320 in perspective. And again, but everything happened the way that it was supposed 134 00:09:48.320 --> 00:09:54.679 to. But another thing that was just put into perspective for me is to 135 00:10:03.519 --> 00:10:11.120 I've realized a lot about myself, especially in regards to like romantic relationships and 136 00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:16.480 the type of person that I am. And somebody did ask me if I 137 00:10:16.519 --> 00:10:20.639 thought that I was controlling, and I'm like, I don't really think so. 138 00:10:20.879 --> 00:10:22.840 I was like, but if you ask my baby daddy, I feel 139 00:10:22.840 --> 00:10:28.240 like he would take something different because of, you know, just certain situations 140 00:10:28.240 --> 00:10:35.679 when we was in a relationship, and I do I feel like, but 141 00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:37.240 I'm gonna be honest, and I can't speak for other people, even though 142 00:10:37.240 --> 00:10:41.840 I feel like everybody does have a jealous streak or can be controlling. I 143 00:10:41.840 --> 00:10:45.120 feel like everybody has that, but we ain't talking about everybody else. We're 144 00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:48.960 talking about myself, and I'm just being brutally honest right now, Like I 145 00:10:48.039 --> 00:10:52.080 do. I think I do got a little bit a little jealous streak. 146 00:10:52.200 --> 00:10:56.399 I do think that I can't be controlling. I'm a pisces. I'm super 147 00:10:56.440 --> 00:10:58.039 emotional. I'm not gonna lie, I'm clingy as fuck, and I'm like, 148 00:11:00.639 --> 00:11:03.960 I'm my man, my man, mom, Like I ain't gonna like 149 00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:09.279 it's it's there, and I feel like, um, you know, I'm 150 00:11:09.480 --> 00:11:15.039 a super emotional person. I get super attached. Um. And again, 151 00:11:15.120 --> 00:11:18.679 I do have I do recognize that I have some type of a control issue. 152 00:11:18.919 --> 00:11:28.919 I don't think that it's very like m I don't think it's very like 153 00:11:30.000 --> 00:11:33.320 an aggressive type thing or very like oh you gotta do like, it's not 154 00:11:33.360 --> 00:11:37.480 like that, but it's there, you know what I'm saying. I feel 155 00:11:37.519 --> 00:11:41.919 like it's it's there in a very subtle type way. UM. I also 156 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:46.879 know that I am emotionally manipulative. I'll be honest, But again I think, 157 00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:52.159 um, I think that people just have to be honest and be accountable 158 00:11:52.240 --> 00:11:58.320 for the roles that they play in relationships or whatever. Um. So that's 159 00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:01.639 just something that I really recognize about myself. I do think that I move 160 00:12:01.799 --> 00:12:05.320 very fast. I think that I should slow down. I think that, 161 00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:13.679 you know, I feel like I just want what I want, And I've 162 00:12:13.720 --> 00:12:18.480 just been having a lot of conversations and really understanding the importance of being open, 163 00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:30.080 being honest it's fifty five right now, but and being vulnerable. I 164 00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:35.559 think that the conversations that I've been having have showed me a lot about other 165 00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:41.960 people and have showed me a lot about myself. I think that. But 166 00:12:41.039 --> 00:12:45.360 I respect the honesty, I respect the openness, you know what I'm saying. 167 00:12:45.360 --> 00:12:50.440 I feel like that creates a deeper bond with a person. I think 168 00:12:50.519 --> 00:12:58.840 that, you know, I think it just shows the like the realness or 169 00:12:58.879 --> 00:13:03.039 the authenticity of a relationship and shit like that. And again that's why you 170 00:13:03.080 --> 00:13:11.559 gotta take shit slow, you know what I'm saying, Like, because niggas 171 00:13:11.559 --> 00:13:15.440 ain't going nowhere. I mean, they could be the word I wanted to 172 00:13:15.440 --> 00:13:16.480 be, Like the world ain't going awhere, you know what I'm saying, 173 00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:20.000 Like, you you got your whole life to live, so you don't have 174 00:13:20.080 --> 00:13:28.600 to, you know, force shit or move too fast with shit or whatever. 175 00:13:28.759 --> 00:13:31.000 So it's just it's been a lot, but I just really appreciate, 176 00:13:31.080 --> 00:13:37.559 like the honesty and the openness um in my current situation. So yeah, 177 00:13:37.559 --> 00:13:43.919 a lot of conversations have been had. Um, and you know, a 178 00:13:43.919 --> 00:13:46.159 trip, A trip is still in the works to where I was originally supposed 179 00:13:46.200 --> 00:13:48.440 to go. We'll see but that but that ain't something else happened. But 180 00:13:48.480 --> 00:13:52.480 so that else happened. So I don't even I don't even know. We're 181 00:13:52.519 --> 00:13:56.399 gonna see all right, go um, but it ain't. It ain't nothing 182 00:13:56.440 --> 00:13:58.360 like what happened last time. It's just you know, life gonna life, 183 00:13:58.360 --> 00:14:07.759 shit gonna have or whatever what else. When I came back, though, 184 00:14:07.799 --> 00:14:11.559 I was happy to get back home, Like I love being at home. 185 00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:15.879 I loved my solitude. When I came back home, I just wanted to 186 00:14:15.960 --> 00:14:20.840 like unpack my bag and put everything away and make sure my space was clean 187 00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:24.720 and all of that. Like and I really oh, I took time to 188 00:14:24.799 --> 00:14:28.679 like journal and write out my affirmations. I took time to like really write 189 00:14:28.679 --> 00:14:33.440 out some goals and stuff. Because one thing that another thing that really was 190 00:14:33.480 --> 00:14:37.759 put in perspective for me on a trip was that this is what I want 191 00:14:37.799 --> 00:14:43.600 to do, Like I aspire to be a traveling yogi, Like I want 192 00:14:43.639 --> 00:14:46.639 to travel with the world, you know, I want to do yoga retreats 193 00:14:46.639 --> 00:14:52.600 and all of that, but you got to start somewhere. So I want 194 00:14:52.639 --> 00:14:56.000 to go city to city if I could do that shit every other weekend or 195 00:14:56.000 --> 00:15:00.159 whatever and go to different yoga studios and you know, a round up my 196 00:15:00.200 --> 00:15:05.840 Black Girl Experience listeners or whatever whoever listens to me in certain CDs and put 197 00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:07.519 on my own yoga events there or whatever. But I'm like, this is 198 00:15:07.559 --> 00:15:11.080 what I want to do. I want to travel and make yoga videos. 199 00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:13.159 I want to eat good food in different CDs. I want to you know 200 00:15:13.279 --> 00:15:16.519 whatever. So I'm like, this is what I want to do. Like 201 00:15:16.600 --> 00:15:22.399 I really enjoy this. And also I just want to continue to create a 202 00:15:22.480 --> 00:15:26.440 space for myself and create a lane for myself with this yoga ship, with 203 00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:31.120 the podcast shit, you know, and just thinking about all the ideas that 204 00:15:31.200 --> 00:15:39.080 I have for the yoga and the podcast like to be intertwined, just so 205 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:43.360 many ideas with that. I had to take time to sit down and think 206 00:15:43.399 --> 00:15:48.240 about how to create more revenue for myself with yoga and just you know, 207 00:15:48.360 --> 00:15:52.919 income period being able to maximize my income with it. Because one thing that 208 00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:56.200 I knew from the jump, one thing that I knew from the jump when 209 00:15:56.200 --> 00:15:58.639 I started yoga teacher training when I was like, this is what I want 210 00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:02.519 to do. What I want to do full time? One thing that I 211 00:16:02.600 --> 00:16:04.159 knew, and I'm like, this gonna be a problem. I just hope 212 00:16:04.200 --> 00:16:07.360 that I don't get down on myself about it. I hope it don't stressing 213 00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:10.399 me, y'all. I hope it don't depress me. Is the fact that 214 00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:15.679 being a yoga teacher is not the same Being a full time yoga teacher is 215 00:16:15.720 --> 00:16:18.600 not the same as having a full time job and working forty hours a week 216 00:16:18.639 --> 00:16:23.840 somewhere. You know what I'm saying. A yoga check is not gonna be 217 00:16:25.039 --> 00:16:30.039 a forty hour or an eighty hour for two weeks check, you know what 218 00:16:30.039 --> 00:16:33.759 I'm saying. So I have to figure out how to maximize my income period. 219 00:16:33.919 --> 00:16:38.960 So a nigga gotta get creative. All of that. I have been 220 00:16:41.080 --> 00:16:47.759 making a plan for myself to start teaching at a second location, and I 221 00:16:47.799 --> 00:16:49.159 had and I'm not gonna lie. The whole time that I was in Atlanta, 222 00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:51.919 I was thinking about that. I'm like, I gotta reach out to 223 00:16:51.919 --> 00:16:55.240 the person. I gotta do this. I gotta figure out, you know 224 00:16:55.360 --> 00:16:56.440 what days I'm gonna do it. I gotta figure out how I'm gonna get 225 00:16:56.440 --> 00:17:00.000 a group of people together to make sure everybody come at a certain time, 226 00:17:00.200 --> 00:17:04.200 m or whatever. And really a lot of it was just fear and being 227 00:17:04.240 --> 00:17:07.559 scared. And it's like, first of all, you want to do this, 228 00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:10.759 you know what I'm saying, And you already was about to have a 229 00:17:10.799 --> 00:17:14.960 whole little yoga birthday party. So it's like, and people are coming to 230 00:17:15.039 --> 00:17:17.960 your classes and people are working with your yoga, so people are gonna come. 231 00:17:17.960 --> 00:17:21.720 But it was just me in my head trying to self sabotaged. And 232 00:17:21.759 --> 00:17:25.839 then today I look up, somebody else is gonna be doing yoga classes where 233 00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:27.200 I want to do them at, which is not a problem, you know 234 00:17:27.200 --> 00:17:32.319 what I'm saying, because you are you and I am high nigga, I 235 00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:34.000 am me, So it's not gonna be the same, you know what I'm 236 00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:37.680 saying. Everybody got their own lane, their own style. I don't even 237 00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:40.400 know who the person is, but I was like, dang, see, 238 00:17:40.440 --> 00:17:41.880 if you would have been on your ship, you could be you could have 239 00:17:41.880 --> 00:17:45.240 been the first one dropping off. You know what I'm saying, the yoga 240 00:17:45.279 --> 00:17:48.799 classes in this specific space, but you know that didn't do them but put 241 00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:52.599 a little fire under my ass, as it should. So I reached out 242 00:17:52.640 --> 00:17:55.400 to the person and told them, you know, I'm trying to set my 243 00:17:55.440 --> 00:18:00.599 shit up, so I will drop a flyer for that. Niggare really just 244 00:18:00.599 --> 00:18:04.599 gonna revise the birthday flyer and drop that. But let y'all know about what 245 00:18:04.680 --> 00:18:11.160 I got coming with that, and then trying to think, is there anything 246 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:17.079 else that really push it in perspective from me on the trip. M Oh, 247 00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:21.440 some shit about relationships got put into perspective just looking at another niggas relationship, 248 00:18:21.519 --> 00:18:30.319 looking at another motherfucker relationship. And I mean, ultimately, I'm not 249 00:18:30.359 --> 00:18:36.920 gonna lie. I don't I don't care about I don't care about a lot 250 00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:40.599 of shit that the world cares about, or that society cares about, or 251 00:18:41.079 --> 00:18:45.000 whatever people feel is the picture perfect relationship and stuff like that. And I 252 00:18:45.039 --> 00:18:47.720 feel like a lot of people do shit for the ground. I feel like 253 00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:51.319 a lot of niggas is out here just you know, posting cute pictures and 254 00:18:51.359 --> 00:18:56.279 cute trips and matching clothes and wedding rings and all type of shit, and 255 00:18:56.359 --> 00:19:02.319 a lot of them people don't even be fucking happy. And I really just 256 00:19:02.440 --> 00:19:06.079 want to genuinely, truly be happy in life period, but also in my 257 00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:11.920 relationship. And I want to be with a person that I truly want to 258 00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:14.079 be with. You know what I'm saying. I want to be with a 259 00:19:14.079 --> 00:19:18.599 person that makes me feel good, that makes me my soul feel good, 260 00:19:18.680 --> 00:19:19.799 that feels like you know what I'm saying. I want to be with somebody 261 00:19:19.799 --> 00:19:25.440 that I have a deep soul connection with. I want to be with a 262 00:19:25.480 --> 00:19:29.839 person that I can be intimate with, and not just on a sexual level, 263 00:19:29.880 --> 00:19:33.920 but spiritually intimate, emotionally intimate, you know what I'm saying, mentally 264 00:19:33.960 --> 00:19:37.599 intimate, like I want Like I said, I want to have that deep 265 00:19:37.640 --> 00:19:41.680 soul connection with somebody I want. I want to be with my best friend. 266 00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:45.319 I want to be with a person that I could talk to about anything. 267 00:19:45.519 --> 00:19:48.079 I want to be with. I want to be with somebody that makes 268 00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:52.160 me feel good. I want to be with somebody that has similar goals and 269 00:19:52.319 --> 00:19:56.839 similar you know, aspirations. Is me Like you know they say that opposite 270 00:19:56.920 --> 00:20:02.079 attract, but I don't really know that I would want to be with an 271 00:20:02.119 --> 00:20:06.839 opposite like you know what I'm saying. I'm a very chill person at this 272 00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:11.079 stage in my life. I'm a very chill person, very relax, very 273 00:20:11.160 --> 00:20:14.400 cool, very calm, very collective. I don't know that I don't think 274 00:20:14.400 --> 00:20:15.640 that I would want to be with a Floyd Mayweather asked, nigga. I 275 00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:18.039 don't want to be with an arrogant ass nigga. I don't want to be 276 00:20:18.079 --> 00:20:22.640 with a flashy ass nigga. I don't want to be with a nigga that 277 00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:25.759 gotta be the loudest nigga in the room. That's not That's never been my 278 00:20:25.799 --> 00:20:29.799 steeds. I've always liked the little, mysterious, quiet niggas in the corner. 279 00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:33.319 I'm usually the niggas that's getting money. But like, you know what 280 00:20:33.400 --> 00:20:36.039 I'm saying, I just want to be with somebody that's on the same wavelength 281 00:20:36.119 --> 00:20:38.680 as me. I want to be with somebody that is interested in the same 282 00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:41.799 things as me. I want to you know what I'm saying. So like 283 00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:47.359 I just want to be with somebody that I could genuinely, truly, honestly 284 00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:51.079 be happy with. Again that mate, when I say make me feel good, 285 00:20:51.240 --> 00:20:53.200 like obviously make me feel good, you know what I'm saying, Like 286 00:20:53.359 --> 00:20:57.160 in whatever the way that y'all are thinking about. But I'm just saying, 287 00:20:57.240 --> 00:21:02.559 like, your presence makes me feel good, spending quality time which makes me 288 00:21:02.640 --> 00:21:06.759 feel good, your conversations make me feel good. Like again, I want 289 00:21:06.759 --> 00:21:10.279 to I want to be with my fucking best friend bro. And then I 290 00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:15.359 want the attraction in the chemistry level to be through the fucking roof. I 291 00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:18.400 want to nigga that like, man, when you look at me, my 292 00:21:18.519 --> 00:21:21.480 dick get hard type shit, Like I want that type of connection with my 293 00:21:21.599 --> 00:21:25.279 name, like for real, Like and that type of connection is out there, 294 00:21:25.480 --> 00:21:29.920 you know what I'm saying. But again, something else that I put 295 00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:36.480 into perspective and then I had to think about It's like you gotta be willing 296 00:21:36.559 --> 00:21:44.799 to build to create that type of connection. You have to create a foundation 297 00:21:44.839 --> 00:21:49.319 with somebody. And I think that I've realized that I really want companionship, 298 00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:52.680 you know what I'm saying a lot of times I say like I don't know 299 00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:56.079 if I want to be married per se or whatever, Like I don't I 300 00:21:56.160 --> 00:21:59.680 don't really know what I see for myself long term, Like I'm still figuring 301 00:21:59.680 --> 00:22:07.559 it out every day, but I do absolutely want companionship. And you can't 302 00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:11.240 just be zooming through life or zooming through relationships or zooming through love, like 303 00:22:11.640 --> 00:22:12.559 you do have to take the time and get to know a person, and 304 00:22:12.599 --> 00:22:19.039 you do have to take the time to build the foundation. However, however, 305 00:22:19.960 --> 00:22:23.839 you do have to stay true to your standards and your boundaries and the 306 00:22:23.920 --> 00:22:29.359 things that you expect and require from a person in a relationship. That's number 307 00:22:29.359 --> 00:22:33.119 one. You know what I'm saying, don't go against what you feel or 308 00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:38.720 don't go against things that you're not cool with or whatever. But also still 309 00:22:38.720 --> 00:22:44.200 just be mindful that jasmine, you are a bit of a control freak and 310 00:22:44.279 --> 00:22:47.240 you do want what you want. You do kind of move fast, you 311 00:22:47.359 --> 00:22:52.000 do, you know what I'm saying, And you gotta respect where other people 312 00:22:52.039 --> 00:22:59.039 are. You gotta respect their experiences and you got to, you know, 313 00:22:59.160 --> 00:23:06.720 just take your time with So that was something else. Another thing, this 314 00:23:06.839 --> 00:23:11.039 is kind of random, but just thinking about it, Like, you know, 315 00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:15.839 I have gotten back some good constructive criticism on my style of teaching and 316 00:23:15.839 --> 00:23:19.599 the way that I teaching all of that, and so I guess the main 317 00:23:19.640 --> 00:23:22.000 thing for me is, like I told a job before, Like I taught 318 00:23:22.039 --> 00:23:26.759 a yend class a couple sundays ago, and the class was amazing, Like 319 00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:33.200 it was perfect, The timing was perfect, the music was perfect. I 320 00:23:33.240 --> 00:23:36.920 was able to actually teach and just do a very good job. However, 321 00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:41.000 when I do my stana class, Astana is very fast paced. It's a 322 00:23:41.119 --> 00:23:44.839 rigorous, ub intense type class. For whatever reason, I feel like I 323 00:23:44.920 --> 00:23:48.839 have to demo the moves to the class and I feel like I have to 324 00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:51.440 be a part of it and stuff. And so I was told that I 325 00:23:51.480 --> 00:23:55.200 have to come off of the mat and teach and walk around and you know, 326 00:23:55.319 --> 00:23:59.480 do adjustments and whatever and speak to whatever is happening. I literally be 327 00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:02.240 trying to do the whole fucking class with niggas and so that's what I have 328 00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:03.680 to work on and improve with that. And I tried to do a better 329 00:24:03.720 --> 00:24:07.960 job today, but I realized, I'm like, I knew I was still 330 00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:11.440 on the mat too much when I was Nigga hot at heil sweating. I'm 331 00:24:11.480 --> 00:24:14.880 like, Nigga, I'm doing a full blown yoga session right now, you 332 00:24:14.920 --> 00:24:15.759 know what I'm saying. But it was still great, Like I was still 333 00:24:15.799 --> 00:24:21.200 definitely going around and engaging with the class and stuff. But that's just one 334 00:24:21.240 --> 00:24:26.559 thing that I need to work on. Um But man, I just really 335 00:24:26.920 --> 00:24:33.799 love yoga. Like that shit really changed my life, and I just see 336 00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:37.680 so much for myself going forward with it. Like and that's another thing. 337 00:24:38.079 --> 00:24:41.960 Um, today I was kind of back and forth in my head about some 338 00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:47.319 stuff. Again, the universe donna throw them. The universe gonna throw them 339 00:24:47.319 --> 00:24:48.640 tests in here. They're gonna throw that shit in there, Like, all 340 00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:51.640 right, let's see, let's see where you at with it. Let's see 341 00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:53.240 if we could throw a distraction in. What you're gonna do? What you're 342 00:24:53.240 --> 00:25:00.599 gonna do? We thought the distraction in and I'm like, is this something 343 00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:06.279 that I want to engage in? And I had to sit with myself and 344 00:25:06.279 --> 00:25:08.079 and this is this is what I'm saying, Like I really sit down and 345 00:25:08.119 --> 00:25:12.039 I have to talk to myself, Like, don't feel crazy if you got 346 00:25:12.039 --> 00:25:17.839 to talk to yourself. First of all, geniuses are the most craziest niggers 347 00:25:17.880 --> 00:25:22.839 on the planet. Geniuses talk to themselves if you think, like, how 348 00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:26.599 do you think you ever gonna be able to walk yourself through a situation or 349 00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:30.279 process? And shit, if you don't console with the realist nigga on your 350 00:25:30.319 --> 00:25:34.759 team, which is yourself. We always looking at other people for advice or 351 00:25:34.839 --> 00:25:40.240 to get a second opinion on something. When again, like nobody else knows 352 00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:44.599 your life but you. Nobody knows what's best for you but you. You 353 00:25:44.680 --> 00:25:48.440 have to console with you. You have to get to a place of confidence 354 00:25:48.640 --> 00:25:52.799 within yourself, Like, man, only y'all know what's best for me. 355 00:25:52.039 --> 00:25:55.640 You know what I'm saying. And so I had to have a moment with 356 00:25:55.720 --> 00:25:59.440 myself today when the universe through a little test in there, a little distraction 357 00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:02.400 in there, and it's like, what do you truly want, Jasmine? 358 00:26:02.920 --> 00:26:07.440 And as good as you've been doing and is great as a place that you've 359 00:26:07.480 --> 00:26:14.079 been in for yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially, whatever, 360 00:26:14.599 --> 00:26:17.160 do you want to backtrack? Do you want to go back to a 361 00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:19.799 place that didn't make you feel a hundred percent? You know what I'm saying. 362 00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:22.960 Do you want to engage in this? Do you want to deal with 363 00:26:23.000 --> 00:26:26.960 this and have this throw you off? You know what I'm saying? Do 364 00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:30.640 you? So I had to have a moment with myself and likes it's a 365 00:26:30.680 --> 00:26:36.559 really tough thing to or a tough conversation to have with yourself because it's like 366 00:26:38.519 --> 00:26:42.119 I'm looking at my progress, I'm looking at my growth, I'm looking at 367 00:26:42.160 --> 00:26:45.759 the things that I released from my life, that are no longer serving me, 368 00:26:45.880 --> 00:26:49.119 that don't really play a part of my life, that don't bring me 369 00:26:49.160 --> 00:26:53.480 no value, that never upgraded me or benefited me in no type of way. 370 00:26:53.519 --> 00:26:56.599 And it's like when that ship comes back around and you be ready to 371 00:26:57.799 --> 00:27:03.039 give everything up, you know what I'm saying, it just at the drop 372 00:27:03.079 --> 00:27:07.480 of a dime for a time or for whatever. You know what I'm saying. 373 00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:11.160 It's like, is that shit really worth it? Especially when you know 374 00:27:11.519 --> 00:27:17.200 that it's never brought no type of value to you. I had to have 375 00:27:17.240 --> 00:27:23.680 a conversation with somebody today about just our relationship and not that not that it 376 00:27:23.720 --> 00:27:26.680 was ever a romantic relationship or anything, but just a relationship period, and 377 00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:30.839 it was just how I talked about how like, you know, I feel 378 00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:36.440 like I've supported you in X, Y and Z ways, you know what 379 00:27:36.480 --> 00:27:40.119 I'm saying. I was like, I never felt that in return. And 380 00:27:40.240 --> 00:27:45.440 they told me like, oh, I think it's because I think it's because 381 00:27:45.480 --> 00:27:48.680 the people that they associate themselves with it is not on the type of time 382 00:27:48.680 --> 00:27:52.119 that I'm on. They was like, so I don't really feel you know, 383 00:27:52.160 --> 00:27:56.119 I never felt the need to really share with other people and I'm like, 384 00:27:56.240 --> 00:27:57.640 but that's not what it's about. You know what I'm saying. It's 385 00:27:57.680 --> 00:28:03.000 not about because and that's my thing, even with myself, when I share 386 00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:08.359 my experiences or I share shit that I'm reading or shit that I've gone through, 387 00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:12.079 or if I'm sharing my podcast or whatever, it is the stuff that 388 00:28:12.119 --> 00:28:15.279 I'm sharing with people. No, it's not gonna be for everybody. It's 389 00:28:15.319 --> 00:28:18.640 not gonna reach everybody. It might fall on deaf ears, but at the 390 00:28:18.720 --> 00:28:23.440 end of the day, I'm planning seeds for people. So whether you understand 391 00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:29.000 and it resonate for you today or three years from now, nigga, it 392 00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:32.440 did what it was supposed to do. And again for people that are your 393 00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:38.279 friends or whoever. Like, support is not about who was going to receive 394 00:28:38.319 --> 00:28:41.759 it. It's about you just supporting me. So I had to have a 395 00:28:41.759 --> 00:28:45.559 conversation with somebody about that. How you know, I don't feel supported. 396 00:28:45.559 --> 00:28:52.519 I feel like they've never really gave me anything of value or of benefit in 397 00:28:52.519 --> 00:28:59.000 our relationship. And I mean, you know, the person is a very 398 00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:03.200 cool person, a very fun person, a very whatever. But it's just 399 00:29:03.279 --> 00:29:14.079 like I really never feel value from that relationship. So it's like, what 400 00:29:14.200 --> 00:29:18.200 are we doing, you know what I'm saying. So that was just a 401 00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:22.799 conversation that I had to have with myself. Today I'm trying to think anything 402 00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:27.880 else. Two things that I had wrote down a couple of days ago. 403 00:29:29.079 --> 00:29:42.880 One thing was I had said, what did I say something about like damn, 404 00:29:42.880 --> 00:29:45.440 I can't think about what I said exactly. It was something like, 405 00:29:45.759 --> 00:29:59.440 um, I don't know if I said the universe is uh something about gonna 406 00:29:59.440 --> 00:30:04.039 remind you you about why a door was shut in the first place some shit. 407 00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:11.880 So I don't know. I was just in my in my head about 408 00:30:11.880 --> 00:30:18.279 revisiting situations like the universe is always gonna remind you why a door was shut 409 00:30:18.319 --> 00:30:23.799 in the first place. Um, And you know, but that's why you 410 00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:32.480 gotta you gotta use your discernment with situations and um, yeah, you have 411 00:30:32.599 --> 00:30:36.359 to use your discernment with certain situations to know if something is really worth it 412 00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:44.680 to spend the block or you know whatever. But it's a case by case 413 00:30:44.680 --> 00:30:51.480 basis and it's really whatever you want to do. Um. But again, 414 00:30:52.519 --> 00:30:59.000 don't beat yourself up about revisiting situations or just you know what I'm saying, 415 00:30:59.119 --> 00:31:03.200 or being able to fall on your ass or bump your head because again, 416 00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:07.440 like I said a little bit earlier, like are you here to experience life 417 00:31:07.519 --> 00:31:11.160 or are you here to avoid it? You know what I'm saying, And 418 00:31:11.319 --> 00:31:15.960 maybe you do got to have a lesson a couple, go through a lesson 419 00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:19.279 a couple of times to really understand whatever it is that you need to learn. 420 00:31:19.319 --> 00:31:22.680 But again, you got to just be able to use your discernment. 421 00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:26.400 What else did I write down? I wrote down? And again you got 422 00:31:26.400 --> 00:31:33.759 those two And this is so funny. You got those situations where so say 423 00:31:33.799 --> 00:31:41.160 you do keep reliving a certain situation or keep going through a certain cycle or 424 00:31:41.200 --> 00:31:45.920 whatever, it's gonna get to a point where the universe is going to force 425 00:31:45.960 --> 00:31:49.920 you to walk away from a situation. And you don't want to have to 426 00:31:49.960 --> 00:31:52.880 get to that point. I've been in that point. I've been at that 427 00:31:52.920 --> 00:31:56.799 point many times in my life, and I've seen other people get to that 428 00:31:56.880 --> 00:32:00.680 point. And you know what I'm saying. One thing that I'm not here 429 00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:05.640 to be on though I told you type shit with nobody ever. I'm just 430 00:32:05.720 --> 00:32:08.519 here to be a supportive friend. But also I'm gonna speak that real shit 431 00:32:08.599 --> 00:32:14.480 to you about a situation, so you know, and again it's only sometimes 432 00:32:14.519 --> 00:32:16.960 it's only so much that you could say or tell a person from the outside 433 00:32:17.000 --> 00:32:21.079 looking in. You know people that and that's the thing. You got to 434 00:32:21.119 --> 00:32:24.160 experience life on your own. You got to experience your own battles, You 435 00:32:24.200 --> 00:32:29.359 got to experience and deal with your own karma. Sometimes you can't step in 436 00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:34.319 on that for other people. But the universe, the universe is gonna force 437 00:32:34.400 --> 00:32:38.799 you to walk away from certain situations. But you have to be in tune 438 00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:43.000 enough to know when you're supposed to walk away. You know what I'm saying. 439 00:32:43.519 --> 00:32:46.640 You gotta look at how many times you'ven't been in this situation, how 440 00:32:46.720 --> 00:32:50.759 much you've been dealt with whatever, And then at the end of the day, 441 00:32:50.799 --> 00:32:54.960 another thing is life. For me, I'm like I said, Nigga, 442 00:32:55.039 --> 00:32:58.599 I'm cooler than the other side of the pillow. I'm a very cool, 443 00:32:59.039 --> 00:33:02.599 calm, collective person, Like I really really value and enjoy my peace 444 00:33:02.640 --> 00:33:09.400 and my solitude. So anything that disturbs that has to go. I'm not 445 00:33:09.400 --> 00:33:15.079 gonna lie. Sometimes I do be hanging onto shit. But ultimately, what 446 00:33:15.160 --> 00:33:19.079 I've learned, especially now with being very intune my body and very intune my 447 00:33:19.119 --> 00:33:22.920 intuition, is like jazzmine. How long are you going to hold onto something 448 00:33:22.960 --> 00:33:29.359 when it's literally disturbing your peace, is disturbing your your energy, you know 449 00:33:29.400 --> 00:33:35.079 what I'm saying. Like it's almost like and this is why I don't know 450 00:33:35.119 --> 00:33:39.799 why people engage in toxicity or glorify toxicity and be like, oh, I 451 00:33:40.039 --> 00:33:44.480 like, you know, I love toxic relationships, like all that shit to 452 00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:46.519 be talking about that shit is not cute to me. But second of all, 453 00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:51.920 it's like I don't know how it feels for other people, but where 454 00:33:51.960 --> 00:33:57.920 I'm at currently today, the space that I'm in today, like I can't 455 00:33:58.000 --> 00:34:05.000 deal with that shit and it will literally start to tear me apart energetically, 456 00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:10.000 even if it's something that I say I am engaging in something or I'm in 457 00:34:10.079 --> 00:34:15.480 some type of relationship or whatever, and it's like my intuition gonna keep telling 458 00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:17.400 me like every day and it'd be so strong, like you need to walk 459 00:34:17.400 --> 00:34:21.599 away, you need to lead us alone. And the more that I hang 460 00:34:21.679 --> 00:34:24.079 onto it or the more that I deal with it, I just feel like 461 00:34:24.840 --> 00:34:28.119 what it does to my energy, what it does to my peace, And 462 00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:30.239 it's like it and it shows up in your life, It's like why deal 463 00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:34.920 with a situation or why I deal with a person, or why I continue 464 00:34:34.920 --> 00:34:40.760 to engage with whatever if it's literally causing friction or chaos. See your life. 465 00:34:42.079 --> 00:34:44.760 When I tell y'all, I'm a very simple person, I'm a very 466 00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:49.239 bro very simple, very chill, very calm. I want a life of 467 00:34:49.320 --> 00:34:52.679 peace. And my thing is this, life is not peaceful, nigga. 468 00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:57.079 You don't have problems. You're gonna have a broke down car, your tire 469 00:34:57.119 --> 00:35:00.679 gonna go flat. Somebody gonna break in your house. Somebody gonna break in 470 00:35:00.719 --> 00:35:02.960 your car. You might fight a bit on the street over a parking spot. 471 00:35:04.159 --> 00:35:07.280 You might have baby daddy or baby mama drama. You might have you 472 00:35:07.280 --> 00:35:12.199 know what I'm saying. You might be neck fucking squaring up with your sister, 473 00:35:12.280 --> 00:35:17.119 with your mama. Like, life is gonna happen, period. It's 474 00:35:17.159 --> 00:35:22.679 always gonna be inconvenience. It's always something's always gonna happen. You might fucking 475 00:35:22.719 --> 00:35:27.480 slip on some ice nigga today and break your fucking neck. You might get 476 00:35:27.519 --> 00:35:30.960 diagnosed with cancer. Life is going to fucking life. Life is gonna happen, 477 00:35:31.079 --> 00:35:39.960 right, We know this. So when I have relationships and just everything 478 00:35:39.960 --> 00:35:44.199 in my life, I want to be super intentional. Why because life is 479 00:35:44.199 --> 00:35:46.559 already gonna happen, So why be in a relationship? Why deal with somebody 480 00:35:46.599 --> 00:35:52.079 that disturbs my piece? Why deal with somebody that brings me drama and chaos? 481 00:35:52.519 --> 00:35:55.079 Why deal with somebody that's toxic. Why deal with somebody that's gonna break 482 00:35:55.079 --> 00:35:59.559 my heart? Why deal with somebody that's gonna make me feel bad? Why 483 00:35:59.639 --> 00:36:01.320 deal with body that's gonna disrespect me? Why deal with you know what I'm 484 00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:06.599 saying, It's like, why white shoose to deal with bullshit when the bullshit 485 00:36:06.679 --> 00:36:12.239 gonna come regardless. And I feel like, if you know me personally, 486 00:36:12.599 --> 00:36:15.400 you know what type of person I am. You know how I carry myself, 487 00:36:15.599 --> 00:36:16.559 you know how I'm move in the world, so you know I'm not 488 00:36:16.679 --> 00:36:24.519 lying. So that's why it's very important for me to be intentional with every 489 00:36:24.559 --> 00:36:30.119 aspect of my life because life is gonna life. Life gonna come with the 490 00:36:30.159 --> 00:36:34.280 bullshit, So whatever surprise, bullshit gonna pop out the jack in the box 491 00:36:34.280 --> 00:36:37.880 with life, like, oh this is happening today, Nigga, I'm gonna 492 00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:43.960 need my just everyday immediate life to be very very smooth, very free flowing, 493 00:36:44.199 --> 00:36:45.880 very you know what I'm saying, very chill, very calm, very 494 00:36:46.000 --> 00:36:50.760 zin, because the bullshit that life is gonna throw at you, it's gonna 495 00:36:50.760 --> 00:36:53.599 be nigga, a motherfucking wild car, It's gonna be a wild uno car. 496 00:36:53.719 --> 00:36:59.440 It's gonna be a draw for motherfucking skip you, skip you reverse back 497 00:36:59.480 --> 00:37:01.800 to me? Fuck you bitch. The color is red and all you got 498 00:37:01.880 --> 00:37:06.280 is green. So if I know that life is going to be like that, 499 00:37:06.920 --> 00:37:09.880 why do I want to be unintentional with my relationships? Why do I 500 00:37:09.920 --> 00:37:15.400 want to be unintentional with the things that I'm doing? Why do I want 501 00:37:15.400 --> 00:37:17.360 to be unintentional with my day? Why do I want to be unintentional with 502 00:37:17.400 --> 00:37:21.480 my habits? Why do I want to be unintentional with my behaviors? Why 503 00:37:21.480 --> 00:37:23.079 would I want to be toxic? Why would you know what I'm saying? 504 00:37:24.079 --> 00:37:28.639 So make it make sense? And that may not make sense to you, 505 00:37:28.800 --> 00:37:34.519 or maybe it does, but That's where I'm at with it, so you 506 00:37:34.599 --> 00:37:38.719 know. But again, you got to understand that life is different for everybody. 507 00:37:38.840 --> 00:37:43.679 Your path is different from mine, your life is different from mine, 508 00:37:43.719 --> 00:37:47.079 Your experiences are different from mine, your upbringing is different from mine, your 509 00:37:47.119 --> 00:37:52.320 trauma is different from mine, nigga. Your behaviors are different from mine, 510 00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:55.199 Your habits are different from mine, your emotions are different than mine. The 511 00:37:55.280 --> 00:38:00.800 way that you handle situations are different from mine. So you gotta look at 512 00:38:00.800 --> 00:38:04.880 your own life and you know, and figure out what all of that means 513 00:38:04.920 --> 00:38:07.360 to you and for you. And so again, this is something that you 514 00:38:07.400 --> 00:38:10.239 figure out every day. And I feel like you just really got to take 515 00:38:10.239 --> 00:38:13.920 life a day at a time. I do think it's very important to a 516 00:38:13.960 --> 00:38:17.360 certain extent to plan your life and to make goals and all of that, 517 00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:22.039 but ultimately, I think like every day you gotta take this shit a day 518 00:38:22.039 --> 00:38:24.119 at a time. One thing that I will say, I don't know if 519 00:38:24.119 --> 00:38:27.119 I shared this on here. Somebody has said to me, like, I 520 00:38:27.159 --> 00:38:30.920 really just love how you really just living your life in the moment right now 521 00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:32.920 and doing whatever you want to do. And you know what I'm saying, 522 00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:39.840 it just being like really free, because I feel like that's what life is 523 00:38:39.840 --> 00:38:43.280 about. Like I said, to a certain extent, you want to plan 524 00:38:43.480 --> 00:38:46.159 and all of that and prepare, but for the most part, you just 525 00:38:46.199 --> 00:38:49.719 gotta let this life shit happen. You know what I'm saying. You might 526 00:38:49.760 --> 00:38:52.239 wake up tomorrow and fall in love on some random shit you never fucking like, 527 00:38:52.519 --> 00:38:55.639 you never know, and that's another thing. But niggas be trying to 528 00:38:55.639 --> 00:39:00.119 plan how shit gonna go or I want this to happen. I want my 529 00:39:00.199 --> 00:39:02.440 relationship to be like this. I'm like, you might meet that and they 530 00:39:02.599 --> 00:39:06.199 at the gas station, or you might meet that nigg on Instagram. You 531 00:39:06.280 --> 00:39:12.480 don't fucking know, so like you know, but um, yeah, so 532 00:39:12.519 --> 00:39:15.079 I just kind of wanted to come on there and share that. I don't 533 00:39:15.079 --> 00:39:19.280 think I had anything else to really share right now. It's nothing that I 534 00:39:19.280 --> 00:39:23.239 could think of, but yeah, so I'm gonna get back to it. 535 00:39:23.280 --> 00:39:27.119 I think that I do need to be a lot more productive. I think, 536 00:39:27.320 --> 00:39:30.880 um, I think that I can be productive, but I just always 537 00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:32.239 I know that I can approve. I know that I can do more, 538 00:39:34.280 --> 00:39:36.599 and I'm really just trying to get on that. And I'm really trying to 539 00:39:36.639 --> 00:39:39.480 really focus in and really start to meditate more so that I can get more 540 00:39:39.519 --> 00:39:43.480 answers. I already feel like I receive a lot of answers. I feel 541 00:39:43.480 --> 00:39:46.840 like my intuition just be on motherfucking a thousand, But I think meditation will 542 00:39:46.920 --> 00:39:52.679 really help and just getting a more concrete routine, getting getting a little bit 543 00:39:52.679 --> 00:39:59.639 more discipline and stuff like that, and again just constantly reflecting on where I 544 00:39:59.679 --> 00:40:04.159 am and what I'm doing, and just you know, taking the time to 545 00:40:04.199 --> 00:40:07.239 give myself constructive criticism but also not be too hard on myself and understand that 546 00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:10.239 at the end of the day, I'm human as fuck, but I'm just 547 00:40:10.519 --> 00:40:15.440 you know, I'm constantly proud of myself and my growth and my progress. 548 00:40:15.719 --> 00:40:20.000 And I love the fact that I'm such a reflective individual, and I love 549 00:40:20.039 --> 00:40:22.119 that I could be honest with myself, especially like earlier in the episode when 550 00:40:22.119 --> 00:40:27.039 I'm talking about like my emotions and that I am a control freak and I 551 00:40:27.079 --> 00:40:30.599 am clingy, and I am like, I gotta be real with myself and 552 00:40:30.639 --> 00:40:32.800 I gotta really tep in with my I really need to go to therapy. 553 00:40:32.920 --> 00:40:37.480 I really do, because I want to know more about my childhood wounds and 554 00:40:37.559 --> 00:40:42.480 trauma and why I do a lot of the things that I do, and 555 00:40:42.599 --> 00:40:45.679 like just the psychology behind it. And it's so crazy because y'all know, 556 00:40:45.719 --> 00:40:47.760 when I went to college, y'all know, I am a college drop off. 557 00:40:47.800 --> 00:40:52.400 Shout out to Kanye West. But originally my major was psychology, and 558 00:40:52.400 --> 00:40:55.199 that's why Nigga's love to come to me and talk to me and all of 559 00:40:55.199 --> 00:40:59.239 that shit, because all I was going to be a psychologist and then I 560 00:40:59.360 --> 00:41:04.079 changed my shit to journalism and then took communications. But I really want to 561 00:41:04.079 --> 00:41:07.840 get to the bottom of a lot of shit with me. Yeah, you 562 00:41:07.880 --> 00:41:09.599 know, I think a part of that is just me, but a part 563 00:41:09.639 --> 00:41:12.960 of me getting to the bottom of it is a part of me being honest 564 00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:16.519 with myself. And I'm just glad that I can do that. So that 565 00:41:16.760 --> 00:41:20.559 is that's it. I think that's really y'all have for y'all. Hope y'all 566 00:41:20.679 --> 00:41:23.480 enjoyed this episode. I hope that y'all took something from this. I'll be 567 00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:29.559 back on here to you know, share more about you know, the more 568 00:41:30.159 --> 00:41:34.639 opportunities to come do yoga with me. But for the most part, y'all 569 00:41:34.639 --> 00:41:37.480 know, Monday, Wednesday Friday at nine forty five on a Monday, I'm 570 00:41:37.559 --> 00:41:43.719 nine forty five on Mondays, I'm at the trap Monday Wednesday Friday, and 571 00:41:43.760 --> 00:41:45.119 then you know, I'll let y'all know more details, but make sure that 572 00:41:45.199 --> 00:41:49.199 y'all follow me on all platforms. They healing my homies, Black Girl experience 573 00:41:49.199 --> 00:41:52.920 on TikTok Um and that's all I have for y'all, niggas. I'm out.