Welcome back to the Black Girl Experience. I'm your host, Jasmine Dan Yale.
I am back. I am back, man. Life is so crazy,
life is so funny. I always want to come on here and drop
an episode. Always, like I have my days where I'm like, dang,
I aren't recorded and five six days. It's been a while, But
I always have to remind myself that I feel like I've grown from the space
where I initially started with recording the podcast, Like, and I say this
a lot on here that you know, I started out on here recording five
days a week, dropping content back to back to back, non stop,
giving good quality content, good quality episodes, good quality advice, just good
quality life experience and sharing that with y'all. So I always kind of have
to remind myself that it's okay to take a break, it's okay to fall
back, it's okay to live a little life and experience. And that'd be
the main thing. It's like, you gotta live life a little bit.
J ask me, you gotta let some shit happen so that you can come
back and share that with the world. So that's where I'm at, and
I feel like I've been experiencing life, and I feel like I've really been
living in the moment and just kind of letting whatever happened happen, you know
what I'm saying, Like, I am not gonna lie. I am definitely
a super big control freak when it comes to life, when it comes to
how I want relationships to work out, when it comes to how just I
just want you to pay on out a period, Like I am a fucking
control freak, But you have to surrender to the universe. You gotta live
in the moment, you gotta you know what I'm saying. I don't know
if I came on here and said this, but I had. I was
listening to something one night and it was saying, like, are you here
to experience life or are you here to avoid life? And I think with
me being such a control freak, I feel like I'd be trying to avoid
life a lot of times, you know what I'm saying. But also I
also realized that I'm very in tune with myself. I'm very in tune with
my intuition. So it's also kind of like a lot of the things that
I go through a lot of times can be prevented because I have that that
inner knowing that this ain't for you or you shouldn't go through with this.
But again, obviously there's still a lesson to be learned in certain situations.
But also it's like you're smart enough to know that you don't have to go
through those situations over and over again. So it's just kind of crazy.
But I've definitely been living my life. I've definitely been living my fucking life.
And I think one of the last times I was on here, I
was sharing that, you know, I had some big plans for the weekend
or whatever, and I was like, I'm not gonna tell y'all because if
it don't pan out, I don't want niggas like ha ha big, I
ain't gonna lie of the plans. They changed. The plans did change,
so, um, last weekend, I was actually supposed to go to Dallas,
Texas. I had this whole, big, gass plan for what I
was gonna do. You know, who I was gonna see and everything.
You know what I'm saying, Like, it was a whole thing, And
I had to change the plans because you know, some shit happened. Because
again, life gonna happen, Life gonna happen. Life gonna life, some
real shit gonna happen, you know, and put you on a different path.
So I'm like, well, I'm not doing that anymore. And on
the fly, I just went to Atlanta and I stayed with my cousin and
it was a cool trip. It was a cool trip. I'm not gonna
lie since it was not planned to go there originally, you know what I'm
saying. It was just very last minute, so we didn't really have a
whole plan for the weekend. It wasn't like a whole itinerary said out,
you know what I'm saying, and it was Saint Patrick's Day weekend. But
for what the trip was, it was cool. I feel like he put
a lot of shit into perspective for me because ultimately, like overall, I
enjoyed it. But was it the funnest time of my life? No,
because again it was you know what I'm saying, it was there were never
any plans said place where. It was a very quick switch of where I
was going. And so with there being no plans and just on top of
the fact that that was not where I really wanted to be because I had
a whole plan of out where I wanted to be and who I wanted to
be with. You know, it just it wasn't asked ful feeling. And
so I'm not gonna lie I did. I felt some type of way that
weekend, like dang, I really wanted to be somewhere else. You know
what I'm saying. You know how I feel when you feel like your heart
somewhere else. But I mean, everything happens the way that it's supposed to.
So I ended up going there, hung out with my cousin and her
daughter and her significant other, and you know, we did some little Saint
Patrick's Day shit I had. I told him off top, I'm like,
hey, now I'll take a couple of shots with y'all a couple. I'm
not I'm not indulging in that. I don't drink like that. I don't
like the way that it makes me feel, especially the day after. I
don't want to wake up with a hangover and nigga, I want to wake
up and jump up and just go, you know. And then on top
of the fact that when you drink that don't do shit but make you horny,
and who am I going home to? Nobody? So it was just,
you know, I indulged a little bit. It was cool. I'm
not gonna lie. The weather was really super fucking sucky. It was raining,
real bad, real hard. The first day that I got there,
it was cold as fuck. Um all I packed was fucking yoga clothes in
that bitch. So that's what it was. First night was cool. Second
day, I'm like, y'all know what I came here for. Period.
You know I was coming to do yoga. You know I'm coming to do
yoga. Um. I did a little research and I ended up going to
Sacred Thread Yoga in East Atlanta, and it ended up being a very cool
experience. It was a white yoga studio, so y'all know, that's a
little it's a little different from the trap. But I've been I've been the
white yoga studios. But it was cool. I did a hot yoga class.
It was actually a mindful, hot class. I really liked the flow.
I liked the flow that the teacher did. Um. They was kind
of low key, hayte No. They was like, you can't take you
don't need to take your phone in there. It's gonna be a distraction.
And I almost left that shit out. And I'm like, man, funk
all that I came all this way and I need my yoga content, Like
nigga, I'm taking my phone in this bitch like I need. I need
the video period. So I took it in there anyway and got a nice
video. But like I said, the class operall was really nice. I
really liked the flow m and I just love fucking high yoga. So I
really enjoyed myself and it was I felt like, um, even though I
told you, like overall, I felt like that's not really where I wanted
to be and stuff like that. I feel like the yoga brought me back
to just feeling like myself and feeling like it's still a reason why I'm here
and this is still a great experience for me. So that was really good
for me. And then you know, niggas was just chilling and caught up
on my shows and shit a little bit. I watched Swarm, that little
new show or whatever with Chloe Bay. Well the bitch was only in one
episode getting hit from the back of the opening scene and then died or got
killed or whatever fuck happened. So whatever, just watching shows, you know
what I'm saying, And you know it was on some chill. Shit,
ain't some good food. I finally had Slutty Vegan for the first time.
That was pretty good. Oh my god, that motherfucker banana pudding was so
fucking bomb. Slutty began very good. Um and the burger was good.
It was fired with the hollapinos on it. I got. I got the
sloppy toppy Okay, only the best I had to get what I give you
feel me, but um no, that was cool. And then Sunday I
was back out early as hill on the early flight back to the city.
But when I said that, the trip kind of put stuff in perspective for
me. For one, it puts stuff in perspective for me about making snap
decisions and being in my feelings because although I was a set in the moment,
and you know, there was a reason why I didn't go to Dallas,
me going to Atlanta again, being in my feelings when I was there
and just you know, just the feeling that this is not where I truly
wanted to be. It was a time for me to be like, hey,
you know, sometimes you ain't gotta just oh, I feel like this,
I'm mad, whine, you know what I'm saying, Like you know,
sometimes you need to sit with your emotions or let yourself cool lot for
whatever, because you know, shit ended up getting worked out to a certain
extent, and you know what I'm saying. Whatever, So it just had
a change of heart about the whole situation overall. Another thing that it put
in perspective. And again, but everything happened the way that it was supposed
to. But another thing that was just put into perspective for me is to
I've realized a lot about myself, especially in regards to like romantic relationships and
the type of person that I am. And somebody did ask me if I
thought that I was controlling, and I'm like, I don't really think so.
I was like, but if you ask my baby daddy, I feel
like he would take something different because of, you know, just certain situations
when we was in a relationship, and I do I feel like, but
I'm gonna be honest, and I can't speak for other people, even though
I feel like everybody does have a jealous streak or can be controlling. I
feel like everybody has that, but we ain't talking about everybody else. We're
talking about myself, and I'm just being brutally honest right now, Like I
do. I think I do got a little bit a little jealous streak.
I do think that I can't be controlling. I'm a pisces. I'm super
emotional. I'm not gonna lie, I'm clingy as fuck, and I'm like,
I'm my man, my man, mom, Like I ain't gonna like
it's it's there, and I feel like, um, you know, I'm
a super emotional person. I get super attached. Um. And again,
I do have I do recognize that I have some type of a control issue.
I don't think that it's very like m I don't think it's very like
an aggressive type thing or very like oh you gotta do like, it's not
like that, but it's there, you know what I'm saying. I feel
like it's it's there in a very subtle type way. UM. I also
know that I am emotionally manipulative. I'll be honest, But again I think,
um, I think that people just have to be honest and be accountable
for the roles that they play in relationships or whatever. Um. So that's
just something that I really recognize about myself. I do think that I move
very fast. I think that I should slow down. I think that,
you know, I feel like I just want what I want, And I've
just been having a lot of conversations and really understanding the importance of being open,
being honest it's fifty five right now, but and being vulnerable. I
think that the conversations that I've been having have showed me a lot about other
people and have showed me a lot about myself. I think that. But
I respect the honesty, I respect the openness, you know what I'm saying.
I feel like that creates a deeper bond with a person. I think
that, you know, I think it just shows the like the realness or
the authenticity of a relationship and shit like that. And again that's why you
gotta take shit slow, you know what I'm saying, Like, because niggas
ain't going nowhere. I mean, they could be the word I wanted to
be, Like the world ain't going awhere, you know what I'm saying,
Like, you you got your whole life to live, so you don't have
to, you know, force shit or move too fast with shit or whatever.
So it's just it's been a lot, but I just really appreciate,
like the honesty and the openness um in my current situation. So yeah,
a lot of conversations have been had. Um, and you know, a
trip, A trip is still in the works to where I was originally supposed
to go. We'll see but that but that ain't something else happened. But
so that else happened. So I don't even I don't even know. We're
gonna see all right, go um, but it ain't. It ain't nothing
like what happened last time. It's just you know, life gonna life,
shit gonna have or whatever what else. When I came back, though,
I was happy to get back home, Like I love being at home.
I loved my solitude. When I came back home, I just wanted to
like unpack my bag and put everything away and make sure my space was clean
and all of that. Like and I really oh, I took time to
like journal and write out my affirmations. I took time to like really write
out some goals and stuff. Because one thing that another thing that really was
put in perspective for me on a trip was that this is what I want
to do, Like I aspire to be a traveling yogi, Like I want
to travel with the world, you know, I want to do yoga retreats
and all of that, but you got to start somewhere. So I want
to go city to city if I could do that shit every other weekend or
whatever and go to different yoga studios and you know, a round up my
Black Girl Experience listeners or whatever whoever listens to me in certain CDs and put
on my own yoga events there or whatever. But I'm like, this is
what I want to do. I want to travel and make yoga videos.
I want to eat good food in different CDs. I want to you know
whatever. So I'm like, this is what I want to do. Like
I really enjoy this. And also I just want to continue to create a
space for myself and create a lane for myself with this yoga ship, with
the podcast shit, you know, and just thinking about all the ideas that
I have for the yoga and the podcast like to be intertwined, just so
many ideas with that. I had to take time to sit down and think
about how to create more revenue for myself with yoga and just you know,
income period being able to maximize my income with it. Because one thing that
I knew from the jump, one thing that I knew from the jump when
I started yoga teacher training when I was like, this is what I want
to do. What I want to do full time? One thing that I
knew, and I'm like, this gonna be a problem. I just hope
that I don't get down on myself about it. I hope it don't stressing
me, y'all. I hope it don't depress me. Is the fact that
being a yoga teacher is not the same Being a full time yoga teacher is
not the same as having a full time job and working forty hours a week
somewhere. You know what I'm saying. A yoga check is not gonna be
a forty hour or an eighty hour for two weeks check, you know what
I'm saying. So I have to figure out how to maximize my income period.
So a nigga gotta get creative. All of that. I have been
making a plan for myself to start teaching at a second location, and I
had and I'm not gonna lie. The whole time that I was in Atlanta,
I was thinking about that. I'm like, I gotta reach out to
the person. I gotta do this. I gotta figure out, you know
what days I'm gonna do it. I gotta figure out how I'm gonna get
a group of people together to make sure everybody come at a certain time,
m or whatever. And really a lot of it was just fear and being
scared. And it's like, first of all, you want to do this,
you know what I'm saying, And you already was about to have a
whole little yoga birthday party. So it's like, and people are coming to
your classes and people are working with your yoga, so people are gonna come.
But it was just me in my head trying to self sabotaged. And
then today I look up, somebody else is gonna be doing yoga classes where
I want to do them at, which is not a problem, you know
what I'm saying, because you are you and I am high nigga, I
am me, So it's not gonna be the same, you know what I'm
saying. Everybody got their own lane, their own style. I don't even
know who the person is, but I was like, dang, see,
if you would have been on your ship, you could be you could have
been the first one dropping off. You know what I'm saying, the yoga
classes in this specific space, but you know that didn't do them but put
a little fire under my ass, as it should. So I reached out
to the person and told them, you know, I'm trying to set my
shit up, so I will drop a flyer for that. Niggare really just
gonna revise the birthday flyer and drop that. But let y'all know about what
I got coming with that, and then trying to think, is there anything
else that really push it in perspective from me on the trip. M Oh,
some shit about relationships got put into perspective just looking at another niggas relationship,
looking at another motherfucker relationship. And I mean, ultimately, I'm not
gonna lie. I don't I don't care about I don't care about a lot
of shit that the world cares about, or that society cares about, or
whatever people feel is the picture perfect relationship and stuff like that. And I
feel like a lot of people do shit for the ground. I feel like
a lot of niggas is out here just you know, posting cute pictures and
cute trips and matching clothes and wedding rings and all type of shit, and
a lot of them people don't even be fucking happy. And I really just
want to genuinely, truly be happy in life period, but also in my
relationship. And I want to be with a person that I truly want to
be with. You know what I'm saying. I want to be with a
person that makes me feel good, that makes me my soul feel good,
that feels like you know what I'm saying. I want to be with somebody
that I have a deep soul connection with. I want to be with a
person that I can be intimate with, and not just on a sexual level,
but spiritually intimate, emotionally intimate, you know what I'm saying, mentally
intimate, like I want Like I said, I want to have that deep
soul connection with somebody I want. I want to be with my best friend.
I want to be with a person that I could talk to about anything.
I want to be with. I want to be with somebody that makes
me feel good. I want to be with somebody that has similar goals and
similar you know, aspirations. Is me Like you know they say that opposite
attract, but I don't really know that I would want to be with an
opposite like you know what I'm saying. I'm a very chill person at this
stage in my life. I'm a very chill person, very relax, very
cool, very calm, very collective. I don't know that I don't think
that I would want to be with a Floyd Mayweather asked, nigga. I
don't want to be with an arrogant ass nigga. I don't want to be
with a flashy ass nigga. I don't want to be with a nigga that
gotta be the loudest nigga in the room. That's not That's never been my
steeds. I've always liked the little, mysterious, quiet niggas in the corner.
I'm usually the niggas that's getting money. But like, you know what
I'm saying, I just want to be with somebody that's on the same wavelength
as me. I want to be with somebody that is interested in the same
things as me. I want to you know what I'm saying. So like
I just want to be with somebody that I could genuinely, truly, honestly
be happy with. Again that mate, when I say make me feel good,
like obviously make me feel good, you know what I'm saying, Like
in whatever the way that y'all are thinking about. But I'm just saying,
like, your presence makes me feel good, spending quality time which makes me
feel good, your conversations make me feel good. Like again, I want
to I want to be with my fucking best friend bro. And then I
want the attraction in the chemistry level to be through the fucking roof. I
want to nigga that like, man, when you look at me, my
dick get hard type shit, Like I want that type of connection with my
name, like for real, Like and that type of connection is out there,
you know what I'm saying. But again, something else that I put
into perspective and then I had to think about It's like you gotta be willing
to build to create that type of connection. You have to create a foundation
with somebody. And I think that I've realized that I really want companionship,
you know what I'm saying a lot of times I say like I don't know
if I want to be married per se or whatever, Like I don't I
don't really know what I see for myself long term, Like I'm still figuring
it out every day, but I do absolutely want companionship. And you can't
just be zooming through life or zooming through relationships or zooming through love, like
you do have to take the time and get to know a person, and
you do have to take the time to build the foundation. However, however,
you do have to stay true to your standards and your boundaries and the
things that you expect and require from a person in a relationship. That's number
one. You know what I'm saying, don't go against what you feel or
don't go against things that you're not cool with or whatever. But also still
just be mindful that jasmine, you are a bit of a control freak and
you do want what you want. You do kind of move fast, you
do, you know what I'm saying, And you gotta respect where other people
are. You gotta respect their experiences and you got to, you know,
just take your time with So that was something else. Another thing, this
is kind of random, but just thinking about it, Like, you know,
I have gotten back some good constructive criticism on my style of teaching and
the way that I teaching all of that, and so I guess the main
thing for me is, like I told a job before, Like I taught
a yend class a couple sundays ago, and the class was amazing, Like
it was perfect, The timing was perfect, the music was perfect. I
was able to actually teach and just do a very good job. However,
when I do my stana class, Astana is very fast paced. It's a
rigorous, ub intense type class. For whatever reason, I feel like I
have to demo the moves to the class and I feel like I have to
be a part of it and stuff. And so I was told that I
have to come off of the mat and teach and walk around and you know,
do adjustments and whatever and speak to whatever is happening. I literally be
trying to do the whole fucking class with niggas and so that's what I have
to work on and improve with that. And I tried to do a better
job today, but I realized, I'm like, I knew I was still
on the mat too much when I was Nigga hot at heil sweating. I'm
like, Nigga, I'm doing a full blown yoga session right now, you
know what I'm saying. But it was still great, Like I was still
definitely going around and engaging with the class and stuff. But that's just one
thing that I need to work on. Um But man, I just really
love yoga. Like that shit really changed my life, and I just see
so much for myself going forward with it. Like and that's another thing.
Um, today I was kind of back and forth in my head about some
stuff. Again, the universe donna throw them. The universe gonna throw them
tests in here. They're gonna throw that shit in there, Like, all
right, let's see, let's see where you at with it. Let's see
if we could throw a distraction in. What you're gonna do? What you're
gonna do? We thought the distraction in and I'm like, is this something
that I want to engage in? And I had to sit with myself and
and this is this is what I'm saying, Like I really sit down and
I have to talk to myself, Like, don't feel crazy if you got
to talk to yourself. First of all, geniuses are the most craziest niggers
on the planet. Geniuses talk to themselves if you think, like, how
do you think you ever gonna be able to walk yourself through a situation or
process? And shit, if you don't console with the realist nigga on your
team, which is yourself. We always looking at other people for advice or
to get a second opinion on something. When again, like nobody else knows
your life but you. Nobody knows what's best for you but you. You
have to console with you. You have to get to a place of confidence
within yourself, Like, man, only y'all know what's best for me.
You know what I'm saying. And so I had to have a moment with
myself today when the universe through a little test in there, a little distraction
in there, and it's like, what do you truly want, Jasmine?
And as good as you've been doing and is great as a place that you've
been in for yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially, whatever,
do you want to backtrack? Do you want to go back to a
place that didn't make you feel a hundred percent? You know what I'm saying.
Do you want to engage in this? Do you want to deal with
this and have this throw you off? You know what I'm saying? Do
you? So I had to have a moment with myself and likes it's a
really tough thing to or a tough conversation to have with yourself because it's like
I'm looking at my progress, I'm looking at my growth, I'm looking at
the things that I released from my life, that are no longer serving me,
that don't really play a part of my life, that don't bring me
no value, that never upgraded me or benefited me in no type of way.
And it's like when that ship comes back around and you be ready to
give everything up, you know what I'm saying, it just at the drop
of a dime for a time or for whatever. You know what I'm saying.
It's like, is that shit really worth it? Especially when you know
that it's never brought no type of value to you. I had to have
a conversation with somebody today about just our relationship and not that not that it
was ever a romantic relationship or anything, but just a relationship period, and
it was just how I talked about how like, you know, I feel
like I've supported you in X, Y and Z ways, you know what
I'm saying. I was like, I never felt that in return. And
they told me like, oh, I think it's because I think it's because
the people that they associate themselves with it is not on the type of time
that I'm on. They was like, so I don't really feel you know,
I never felt the need to really share with other people and I'm like,
but that's not what it's about. You know what I'm saying. It's
not about because and that's my thing, even with myself, when I share
my experiences or I share shit that I'm reading or shit that I've gone through,
or if I'm sharing my podcast or whatever, it is the stuff that
I'm sharing with people. No, it's not gonna be for everybody. It's
not gonna reach everybody. It might fall on deaf ears, but at the
end of the day, I'm planning seeds for people. So whether you understand
and it resonate for you today or three years from now, nigga, it
did what it was supposed to do. And again for people that are your
friends or whoever. Like, support is not about who was going to receive
it. It's about you just supporting me. So I had to have a
conversation with somebody about that. How you know, I don't feel supported.
I feel like they've never really gave me anything of value or of benefit in
our relationship. And I mean, you know, the person is a very
cool person, a very fun person, a very whatever. But it's just
like I really never feel value from that relationship. So it's like, what
are we doing, you know what I'm saying. So that was just a
conversation that I had to have with myself. Today I'm trying to think anything
else. Two things that I had wrote down a couple of days ago.
One thing was I had said, what did I say something about like damn,
I can't think about what I said exactly. It was something like,
um, I don't know if I said the universe is uh something about gonna
remind you you about why a door was shut in the first place some shit.
So I don't know. I was just in my in my head about
revisiting situations like the universe is always gonna remind you why a door was shut
in the first place. Um, And you know, but that's why you
gotta you gotta use your discernment with situations and um, yeah, you have
to use your discernment with certain situations to know if something is really worth it
to spend the block or you know whatever. But it's a case by case
basis and it's really whatever you want to do. Um. But again,
don't beat yourself up about revisiting situations or just you know what I'm saying,
or being able to fall on your ass or bump your head because again,
like I said a little bit earlier, like are you here to experience life
or are you here to avoid it? You know what I'm saying, And
maybe you do got to have a lesson a couple, go through a lesson
a couple of times to really understand whatever it is that you need to learn.
But again, you got to just be able to use your discernment.
What else did I write down? I wrote down? And again you got
those two And this is so funny. You got those situations where so say
you do keep reliving a certain situation or keep going through a certain cycle or
whatever, it's gonna get to a point where the universe is going to force
you to walk away from a situation. And you don't want to have to
get to that point. I've been in that point. I've been at that
point many times in my life, and I've seen other people get to that
point. And you know what I'm saying. One thing that I'm not here
to be on though I told you type shit with nobody ever. I'm just
here to be a supportive friend. But also I'm gonna speak that real shit
to you about a situation, so you know, and again it's only sometimes
it's only so much that you could say or tell a person from the outside
looking in. You know people that and that's the thing. You got to
experience life on your own. You got to experience your own battles, You
got to experience and deal with your own karma. Sometimes you can't step in
on that for other people. But the universe, the universe is gonna force
you to walk away from certain situations. But you have to be in tune
enough to know when you're supposed to walk away. You know what I'm saying.
You gotta look at how many times you'ven't been in this situation, how
much you've been dealt with whatever, And then at the end of the day,
another thing is life. For me, I'm like I said, Nigga,
I'm cooler than the other side of the pillow. I'm a very cool,
calm, collective person, Like I really really value and enjoy my peace
and my solitude. So anything that disturbs that has to go. I'm not
gonna lie. Sometimes I do be hanging onto shit. But ultimately, what
I've learned, especially now with being very intune my body and very intune my
intuition, is like jazzmine. How long are you going to hold onto something
when it's literally disturbing your peace, is disturbing your your energy, you know
what I'm saying. Like it's almost like and this is why I don't know
why people engage in toxicity or glorify toxicity and be like, oh, I
like, you know, I love toxic relationships, like all that shit to
be talking about that shit is not cute to me. But second of all,
it's like I don't know how it feels for other people, but where
I'm at currently today, the space that I'm in today, like I can't
deal with that shit and it will literally start to tear me apart energetically,
even if it's something that I say I am engaging in something or I'm in
some type of relationship or whatever, and it's like my intuition gonna keep telling
me like every day and it'd be so strong, like you need to walk
away, you need to lead us alone. And the more that I hang
onto it or the more that I deal with it, I just feel like
what it does to my energy, what it does to my peace, And
it's like it and it shows up in your life, It's like why deal
with a situation or why I deal with a person, or why I continue
to engage with whatever if it's literally causing friction or chaos. See your life.
When I tell y'all, I'm a very simple person, I'm a very
bro very simple, very chill, very calm. I want a life of
peace. And my thing is this, life is not peaceful, nigga.
You don't have problems. You're gonna have a broke down car, your tire
gonna go flat. Somebody gonna break in your house. Somebody gonna break in
your car. You might fight a bit on the street over a parking spot.
You might have baby daddy or baby mama drama. You might have you
know what I'm saying. You might be neck fucking squaring up with your sister,
with your mama. Like, life is gonna happen, period. It's
always gonna be inconvenience. It's always something's always gonna happen. You might fucking
slip on some ice nigga today and break your fucking neck. You might get
diagnosed with cancer. Life is going to fucking life. Life is gonna happen,
right, We know this. So when I have relationships and just everything
in my life, I want to be super intentional. Why because life is
already gonna happen, So why be in a relationship? Why deal with somebody
that disturbs my piece? Why deal with somebody that brings me drama and chaos?
Why deal with somebody that's toxic. Why deal with somebody that's gonna break
my heart? Why deal with somebody that's gonna make me feel bad? Why
deal with body that's gonna disrespect me? Why deal with you know what I'm
saying, It's like, why white shoose to deal with bullshit when the bullshit
gonna come regardless. And I feel like, if you know me personally,
you know what type of person I am. You know how I carry myself,
you know how I'm move in the world, so you know I'm not
lying. So that's why it's very important for me to be intentional with every
aspect of my life because life is gonna life. Life gonna come with the
bullshit, So whatever surprise, bullshit gonna pop out the jack in the box
with life, like, oh this is happening today, Nigga, I'm gonna
need my just everyday immediate life to be very very smooth, very free flowing,
very you know what I'm saying, very chill, very calm, very
zin, because the bullshit that life is gonna throw at you, it's gonna
be nigga, a motherfucking wild car, It's gonna be a wild uno car.
It's gonna be a draw for motherfucking skip you, skip you reverse back
to me? Fuck you bitch. The color is red and all you got
is green. So if I know that life is going to be like that,
why do I want to be unintentional with my relationships? Why do I
want to be unintentional with the things that I'm doing? Why do I want
to be unintentional with my day? Why do I want to be unintentional with
my habits? Why do I want to be unintentional with my behaviors? Why
would I want to be toxic? Why would you know what I'm saying?
So make it make sense? And that may not make sense to you,
or maybe it does, but That's where I'm at with it, so you
know. But again, you got to understand that life is different for everybody.
Your path is different from mine, your life is different from mine,
Your experiences are different from mine, your upbringing is different from mine, your
trauma is different from mine, nigga. Your behaviors are different from mine,
Your habits are different from mine, your emotions are different than mine. The
way that you handle situations are different from mine. So you gotta look at
your own life and you know, and figure out what all of that means
to you and for you. And so again, this is something that you
figure out every day. And I feel like you just really got to take
life a day at a time. I do think it's very important to a
certain extent to plan your life and to make goals and all of that,
but ultimately, I think like every day you gotta take this shit a day
at a time. One thing that I will say, I don't know if
I shared this on here. Somebody has said to me, like, I
really just love how you really just living your life in the moment right now
and doing whatever you want to do. And you know what I'm saying,
it just being like really free, because I feel like that's what life is
about. Like I said, to a certain extent, you want to plan
and all of that and prepare, but for the most part, you just
gotta let this life shit happen. You know what I'm saying. You might
wake up tomorrow and fall in love on some random shit you never fucking like,
you never know, and that's another thing. But niggas be trying to
plan how shit gonna go or I want this to happen. I want my
relationship to be like this. I'm like, you might meet that and they
at the gas station, or you might meet that nigg on Instagram. You
don't fucking know, so like you know, but um, yeah, so
I just kind of wanted to come on there and share that. I don't
think I had anything else to really share right now. It's nothing that I
could think of, but yeah, so I'm gonna get back to it.
I think that I do need to be a lot more productive. I think,
um, I think that I can be productive, but I just always
I know that I can approve. I know that I can do more,
and I'm really just trying to get on that. And I'm really trying to
really focus in and really start to meditate more so that I can get more
answers. I already feel like I receive a lot of answers. I feel
like my intuition just be on motherfucking a thousand, But I think meditation will
really help and just getting a more concrete routine, getting getting a little bit
more discipline and stuff like that, and again just constantly reflecting on where I
am and what I'm doing, and just you know, taking the time to
give myself constructive criticism but also not be too hard on myself and understand that
at the end of the day, I'm human as fuck, but I'm just
you know, I'm constantly proud of myself and my growth and my progress.
And I love the fact that I'm such a reflective individual, and I love
that I could be honest with myself, especially like earlier in the episode when
I'm talking about like my emotions and that I am a control freak and I
am clingy, and I am like, I gotta be real with myself and
I gotta really tep in with my I really need to go to therapy.
I really do, because I want to know more about my childhood wounds and
trauma and why I do a lot of the things that I do, and
like just the psychology behind it. And it's so crazy because y'all know,
when I went to college, y'all know, I am a college drop off.
Shout out to Kanye West. But originally my major was psychology, and
that's why Nigga's love to come to me and talk to me and all of
that shit, because all I was going to be a psychologist and then I
changed my shit to journalism and then took communications. But I really want to
get to the bottom of a lot of shit with me. Yeah, you
know, I think a part of that is just me, but a part
of me getting to the bottom of it is a part of me being honest
with myself. And I'm just glad that I can do that. So that
is that's it. I think that's really y'all have for y'all. Hope y'all
enjoyed this episode. I hope that y'all took something from this. I'll be
back on here to you know, share more about you know, the more
opportunities to come do yoga with me. But for the most part, y'all
know, Monday, Wednesday Friday at nine forty five on a Monday, I'm
nine forty five on Mondays, I'm at the trap Monday Wednesday Friday, and
then you know, I'll let y'all know more details, but make sure that
y'all follow me on all platforms. They healing my homies, Black Girl experience
on TikTok Um and that's all I have for y'all, niggas. I'm out.