I want you have to be famous if you if you, if you're a
content creator. I don't know what I was talking about before we were talking
about I was talking making beats, making beats, creating content. Black and
Black Widow ship hit yeat, that's that ship you make when you hit your
toe on the motherfucking bed. That's probably one top top three pains hitting that
toe. That's because the motherfuckers don't put the bed right in their room.
Manne, your shit bleed instantly one thousand percent. Yeah. Yeah. The
content is probably the same for clothes too, like when you make when you
when you're making something, the thought process is how am I going to sell
this? When am I going to sell this? Where am I going to
sell this? Who's going to buy this? And I don't know if that's
I'm It is smart to think that way because you do have to handle the
marketing. I think that I'm working on a new series of Black Widow and
it's gonna be fire, But I never thought about the marketing first, like
who am I talking to? When are they going to listen to it?
Why are they listening to it? When do I want them to masturbate or
whatever the case may be like I'm thinking about all of that shit. I
never thought about it before, and I don't know if that's good or if
that's bad or if it's necessar because I don't want to create nothing and then
not not and then be mad when people don't receive it. The marketing is
deaf, deaf, the major the main thing, Like I know, that's
my problem with Like with the clothes, like my marketing. I'm not really
good at the marketing, like getting it out there. I post here and
there and the share and share, but like contents, making videos and editing
and all that, I'm just not good with it. Like I'm not good
with coming up with shit to make it, you know what I'm saying to
get people attention? My shit just be plain. And that's why I just
be like, Man, I don't even want to do it because I don't
know. Man, my going to change some of my ways. Though my
issue ain't lazyess. My issue is I don't trust none of you niggas.
That's my biggest issue, bro. I swear to God, like I feel
like I feel like Black Widow could have been or can be to the next
level if I had a little bit more trust. And the problem is is
that too many times I will give somebody the responsibility down what I go to
sleep, wake up, and I was like, yo, so what happened?
And now motherfuckers is either ignore my text or they got some elaborate ass
excuse as to why they couldn't do what they begged me to do. And
now I'm like, all right, you know what, I'm just gonna write.
I'm just gonna write this whole season. I think that I think that's
what it is. They get a motherfucker so shitty is that motherfucker will beg
you to do some shit or just come to you with ship and don't even
be really talking about nothing. Yeah, because I think it sounds fun,
Like the result sounds fun the work, but the work is that is serious
work. It's not no play. Well, when I was with E's and
I did the first one of his shout out to Eric Washington, play stays
play. That ship is not a game. Especially I don't like type ship
like that anyway, you know what I'm saying. So like that ship was
bro nervous, that's like man washed. I'm like, bro, I don't
want to fuck up. You know what I'm saying, it ain't like stage
plays ain't the same as doing movies or you know what I'm saying. Some
ship that you where the cameras on is cut. Stop that ship a wonder
it again, try it again with this ship. And it was so fucked
up because it took us like them there two years, bro like a year
and a half. It was crazy. Nah, we was. We started
doing COVID right, We started right before COVID and COVID came, so boom
the place we had, they kept pushing it back. Okay, boom.
We pushed it this day, push it, this day, pushes this day,
next thing. You know, it's THEMN there twenty twenty two, you
know what I'm saying. But we still but we've still been going hard for
all these years. So it's like damn. It felt like at one point
we kept happening to Louis kept blues people and other people come. We had
to catch them up because shit was happening during them times. It was times
where I felt like, man, fuck it, but I'm like, nah,
this is my nigga, Like I got them, I don't been through
this. I can't just leave them now. But we end up doing it
and it turnt that cool, but it was just like, damn grind.
I'm like, man, I just got to make sure I do fuck up
man, that motherfucking grind. If you watch Maxines Baby on, I seen,
I seen, I started watching it, but I ain't finished watching all
that crazy that motherfucker Tyler Perry Dog, the ship that he went through growing
up. Man, it'd be crazy, man. It be seeming like motherfuckers
go through the craziest ship. Bro. They go through the crazy, but
the work ethic that but but the work, the work ethic is crazy.
But it just seems like sometimes or most of the times, you you gotta
hit like them the rock bottom to like feel like like I can't never hit
that again, you know what I'm saying, Like I can't say that I
being that down and bad and out, you know what I'm saying. I've
never been in this situation to where I felt like I can't never go there
again. Because when he was homeless, like home, being homeless, like
that a change the motherfucker. I feel like it should. But you got
some people who just okay with it, and they just okay, We've been
out there begging, like I just don't like this shit like motherfucker's at the
gas station, but like bro, it is fucking five forty five in the
morning. Why are you out here begging already? Like nigga, Damn,
you ain't even thought about making you'll like even thinking about doing something yourself.
Nigga are asked for change, Nigga like motherfuckers ain't even up yet. You're
you out here asked for fifty from ghosts. Nigga's out here begging. Fuck
Nigga, Im about to be asking for some dollars of early Condamn the fuck
motherfucker's with asking for coffee and shiita. I'm gonna say this and then I'm
gonna start the show and I'm gonna use this and I'm gonna click this up.
Writers who don't write, please leave me alone. Please leave me alone.
Look, I don't I don't want to be mean. I don't want
to I don't want to rub you the wrong way because a lot of writers
are very extremely emotional. I don't want to bother I don't want to be
mean to y'all. But I don't know what y'all praying for. But God
don't work like that. Niggas swear, do you want to write and do
not write. I meet writers and I'd be like, what do you have?
They say nothing? When's the last time you wrote a year ago?
You're not a writer. You think about writing and writer. What you are
is a thinker people who want to act. If you got to get paid
to act, you are not an actor. Not an actor because you're not
getting You're not getting paid like tarajip ain't getting No, they're not getting paid.
That not getting paid now and their own the fact that you're that you
have this, y'all, you got this passion for something. You can swear
you get this passion for something, but you only do it with somebody pay
you. That's a lot of people. That's a lot in this city.
Bro, You're not y'all get a little clout and y'all feel like a motherfucker
got to pay off for y'all time like that. You're not nobody like that.
I'm not even I'm not coming hard like I'm coming like that because I
just don't get it. Like y'all say, y'all want to help somebody,
y'all want to do this and that, but then y'all y'all try to charge
motherfuckers to do to do ship for him like it's weird. The thing for
me is that so say like, uh, DeMarco plays right, shout out
to DP. This motherfucker is doing shows Quarterly and Philly and Dallas everywhere,
right, but he has an audience and he has I ain't gonna say C
list or D list, but he got some. He got some F list,
G lists, you know what I mean, actors on there, maybe
some too be stars or something like that. He got some motherfuckers. I'm
not trying to throw no shade, but if my thing was to be seen,
if my thing was to be seen and to act and to be on
stage and get the opportunity, who am I to go to him and say,
you gotta pay me an absorbing amount of money for me to do this.
The only thing you should be asking for is gas money and maybe some
food. Can you can you? Can you get me here? And can
you feed me when I'm here. I'll make the time, I'll find a
babysitter, I'll do all of these things. I'm not saying that to get
free work out of nobody. But if you are like I know motherfuckers who
are doing shit, they only get like fifty views, and I'd be like,
hey, man, you should come over here, and you know,
fuck with me, I can get you at least a couple more thousand views.
They be like, I'm gonna say. I'm like, Bros, this
is hard. Like gaining an audience and keeping an audience is fucking hard work.
And I think that's probably why I never really wanted to get into like
the skits and shit like that or just certain shit, because it's consistent work
and you're not guaranteed huge like that to be happening to try to make y'all
laugh and shit every day, happen to go dude skits and just yeah,
like it's crazy, like the dedication that I see, Like people will find
a video and just to match the video, they gotta go to Walmart,
or they gotta go to a car wash or you know what I'm saying,
just to master this video. And that's what they do. See a video
and go save it and then hopping a car and go do a skin.
I'm like, no, but I know a lot of people who who who
who have that creative bug and they make every excuse in the motherfucking world creative
bug. Yeah, some people just got it. They make every excuse in
the world to not be consistent with that ship, and that ship is just
extremely troubling, and it's extremely frustrating to me, because why do you think
I give a fuck about? Why do you think I Why do you think
me, Eric, Why do you think I give a fuck about? Why
you can't accomplish your dream? You gotta figure that ship out, bro.
You can't be walking around complaining to motherfuckers about how life is this, and
and life is dad and your mama did this, and your daddy didn't believe
in you. Your boyfriend is this, and your best friend is that.
I don't give a fuck at all. Most people don't I no one,
No one gives a fuck, and neither does your dream. My nigga.
Your dream does not give a fuck, and it does not stop the time
and say, hey, we're gonna wait on you figure it out. Figure
we're gonna wait on you to get the perfect situation. It does not work
like that, my nigga. God damn, they have got to put some
type of work in you, got it. It's just it's just how the
thing about life is. You're not gonna supress. It's hard. It's hard.
It's hard, and I hate it because her life should not be this
hard. I swear to God it should not never be this hard. Like
I don't understand why the fuck will we be born to be put on this
fucking earth and it's so fucking hard like this, like it don't make sense
to me. It should never be this hard. I promise, motherfucker said,
motherfucker suit her parents because she was like I asked to be here and
no, like for real, like I should be able to sue. I
wouldn't suit my parents, but ship I should be able to sue somebody,
because what the fuck? I definitely I definitely thought about so, my mama
a few times. You got me fucked up. I love you, but
I didn't ask to be here. I did not. I did not,
but they didn't. They didn't either. They better get that mother fucking sueing,
Like how much you're suing for it? Though I don't even know.
I don't even know, bro, I don't even at this, Like I
was thinking, like you, how much money would a motherfucker need give me
for me to jump so far ahead for you to just be comfortable for me
to be able to grind until that money runs out, And then I was
thinking, like what ship everybody, every actor in all these these motherfuckers complaining
that they broke What I do? Would I take that money and and go
to fucking medical school or something like? Would I just get out of this
field completely? Like what I I don't even know. That's what some people
say, Like I uh bees used to say. They was like, but
if I want to a lottery a lottery and I had this money, Bro,
I'm telling all this shit, fuck this shit. I'm like why though,
they like cause I got bread, like I don't have to work ever
again. But I'm like that ship, that ship gonna it can man,
Like this ship is not as much money as you think. Motherfuckers be like,
I would definitely try to invest something like That's why I'm saying he got
good things going. I'm like, why wouldn't you to invest in it?
A gym all that type ship? Like he like, I wouldn't want to
do it. I don't want to have to do it. I'm like we
was like, bro, you're crazy. I'm feeling though I feel him,
but I feeling I feel him. Man, Look, you can at least
get a gym, like you can get something. I'm not getting nothing.
So about doing nothing to bring more money in. Nope, if I if
I win the lottery, if I win, let's say I win for a
million. By the time I pay off my wife student loans, my student
loans off, the car that she got, they already taken. They already
taking. Yeah, the money that I'm left with, I think, I
think. I think the I think the relief from student loans being gone and
then owning a house and the cars, I think that would make getting up
and going to work that much easier. I'm not I'm not opposed to going
to work, and neither is my wife. The problem is is that if
you go to work and you and they talk to you, and you and
you want to punch them in they ship, and you can't because you need
that motherfucker. It's a completely different thing from when you own your car in
your house and a motherfucker say something slick to you. Your back what I'm
saying, But that's just that's just the same as only your business. No,
it's not. You don't have to be there. No, no,
no, it's not the same because I don't have to do I don't have
to do nothing. Don't go to do none of the operating. I don't
want to. I just want to show up to a place and they pay
me to be here, and then I go home and then I eat,
and I'm happy because I know that all of the things that used to stress
me out, car notes, insurance that this that is gone, It's alleviated.
I don't mind working, I actually don't want to. I don't want
a large number of something. I don't mind working either, as long as
long as it's something I want to do right. But I think, I
think, I think a lot of people don't know what they want to do,
and winning a large lump sum of money is going to make you have
to figure that ship out expeditiously. And I think I think, I think
just having a job like what I do now, I just drive. If
it paid better, I will be okay, you know what I'm saying.
Like or even when I was doing landscaping, if it would have paid more,
I would have been okay. Like those are the job like jobs where
I I got a boss, but they're not over me, right, I'm
not working around too many people. Really, I'm working by myself, you
know what I'm saying? And I do what I want to do, and
when I'm done, I'm done. But other than that, I don't want
to work in no building with a bunch of people where people over my back
and I got it, like, no, I'm cool. I think for
me in twenty twenty four, I do want to be the lead audio editor
at a company. The problem is is when motherfuckers say something crazy. That's
what I'm saying, because like jobs feel like they can talk and it don't
even be the job, be like the supervisors and shit like that's you think
you don't own me? Yeah, yeah, And I should be able to
tell the motherfucker watch your watch your mouth. I'm a grown ass man.
As a matter of fact, I'm older than you. Watch your mon like
that was another thing, like working at these warehouses you got motherfuckers that's twenty
two twenty three, that's your fucking boss, like, and I feel sorry
for people that got their degrees and shit and you gotta come get a job.
And this motherfucker that's younger than you telling you what to tell you what
to do, like oh hey, shit like that. It's just I ain't
even introduced the pot man. We've been talking this thirty minutes. What's going
on? Everybody? I am Eric Dizzy And this is a combination episode of
Black Widow and Egnan Philosophy because it's Christmas. Yeah, yeah, my nigga
dropped by the day, So we're gonna give y'all a episode about a bunch
of shit that is on our hearts. To my this side is my brother,
my cousin, keenan, mister, who the fuck are you? Come
and tell you? I'm usop stoos, don't don't don't boom who woom boom,
don't do may mo cokain may a moo boom boom boom boom may mon
kein mayamo okay even maya mon amy amy eing may may may ammo cokini mem
don't don't to me. That's what the guy wrote. I can rap like
out there in Spanish because if you can wrap in Spanish, you really can
just say some ship and it'll sound good because a postuph a thousand times like
Twist Boy Twist said, not me. If you want to get flee why
niggas, Why I freak you right? I will I freak you right,
I will I freak you like no one I freak you right, I will
I freak you right, I will I free if you letting them? What
ever? Major few, Yeah, that's what did. He was saying that
that motherfucker what they call him? Uh uh, what's the fun? They
called a bottom power a power bottom power bottom. Wow, that's an old
thick nigga. Pause, that's a big nigga. Bro. They gotta chill
up these allegations, Yeah, especially if y'all don't know if they true.
My thing is this at some point, if a lot of motherfuckers coming out
saying that I did, I'm like, look, you ain't even my tight
Oh God, like stop. I wouldn't even fuck with nobody like you.
I wouldn't even take it from nobody like you. Like, if I'm gonna
take something, I'm gonna take it from the train. I'm not taking it
from you. You are not my And I think that I don't think.
I don't think you can do that because it sounds really really rape. But
did he just taking it? Bro? Just taking it? Bro? Like
just seeing a video when they just standing there and he just got his head.
I'm like, bro, come on, what did y'all do even find
these pictures there? Bro? Like should be crazy. I don't know,
Like but td I never really he do. Like I said, don't be
the people to be having the messages straight bullshit. My thing is my thing
is why at this point why do we give for flying? Yeah, like
if Bishop Tdjke's wife's cool with him doing whatever he's doing, it shouldn't be
a problem. Then why And I feel like because people feel like they got
some say so, Like that's what I've never understood if if whatever, who's
ever doing well, like even with the j don't wheel shit, like if
they already know what's going on, Like who gives a fuck, But why
why y'all gotta call her stupid? Or why y'all gotta call him stupid?
Like you know what I'm saying, Like just even like with polygamy, like
people look at people that's like that and they judge them and they oh,
if two women or whoever two men or whoever whoever the two people are,
they're stupid their low life because they do this and that, and then whoever
the other person is. If it's a man that got two women, he's
child and he's not a man because he got he gotta have more than one,
Like that's damn if they happy with that ship, you give a fuck.
You might not have your own idea of how your life is supposed No,
you can't, because it has to be how it's supposed to be,
how we grew up, how they told us it's supposed to be. That's
how people we got to live. If you're not living like that, then
you're wrong and you're foul and you're you're not like, shut up like you.
It's a lot of people out here that don't have their own opinion about
how they want to live their life or sexuality, like not a lot of
people are brave enough to have their own identity. And I feel like I
feel like I feel like with celebrities, if we grew up thinking that I
me personally, I didn't. I've never had an opinion about Diddy's sexual life.
Never once in my mind did it ever cross nothing. It never crossed
my mind or even maybe even his music never made me be like, well,
I wonder what he's doing in the bedroom. It never dawned on me
to ever even think about Diddy like that. So now that all of this
shit is coming out, it's weird because yeah, if what he did,
if what he did was egregious, then he should go to jail. But
us sitting here talking about what this nigga do with is dick? Yeah,
see like that ain't even a ship. I don't really care all the ship.
I used to hear about what the Biggie Tupaca ship like that, all
of all the businesses with you know how he people, all that shit that
it has gone. Now you fuck about the record, fuck about none of
that. You're a fuck about that dick deal. They like, nigga,
what is you doing? We heard all the stories though, but motherfuckers always
talked about the ship. Though. People just look over like that's what I'm
saying. Like even with R Kelly, y'all seeing a tape, Nigga,
I seen the tape in ninety nine, nigga, that's the most that's I
was listening to my Uh. I was listening to some radio on Spotify.
I forget who, and uh, some song with R Kelly came on.
I was like, man, this shiit slap and I was thinking, like,
y'all, niggas was out here making songs with buddy songs. Buddy,
That's what I'm saying. Jay Z like bro going on tour all that ship.
Bro, Bro, I'm still man at Jay's ze. Not that it
matters, not that none of this ship matters. But this nigga jay Z
thought that it would be a great idea to make Fiesta, and I love
Fiesta, love it. I love that era of R Kelly in general.
That motherfucker. I wish the mom step in the name of love all of
this. That's that's the that's that's that's the that's that's that's the good era
of R. Kelly. Despite the rape ship. But this nigga, jay
Z made two albums with this nigga, and then when Aliyah died, this
nigga made a song tribute to Aliyah. Nigga, you did a tour with
her Predator, my nigga, you did a whole fucking two album tour with
the nigga who was raping her. I do not understand. He was trying
to get her to though, And I feel like he did that ship to
get back at Dame because she chose and he was mad. She chose Dame
and he was mad, and he was mad because why in the fuck,
as no one ever questioned this nigga, if you love the lead as much,
why the fuck was you making this music with this nigga? And Dame
said, I was never in any of the fucking shots with R Kelly.
I don't want I didn't want to fuck with this nigga. I was kind
of unsure on why this nigga was doing it. In my mind, I'm
thinking you're a sicko. Yeah, And and the video you mentioned it for
that video to be that clear, that clear back then, I saw it
and it wasn't It wasn't child poorn to me, because I was a child.
I was a child. Y'all was grown ass adults going to barbershops and
beauty shops and popping them in and watching this shit and then went to go
buy twelve play Swear to god, y'all went and bought like y'all, y'all
like That's why I'm saying, like nobody cared. Nobody brother surviving R Kelly
wasn't even done that well for y'all to be canceling R Kelly the way that
y'all the ship wasn't done that well, which is mind boggling to me that
now y'all care about didy No. No, y'all did albums with R Kelly
nigga. Y'all did Jiggloh. Y'all did motherfucking fiesta. Y'all, motherfucking did
get it. Y'all, motherfucking did up. Y'all did a bunch of shit
with llyf ninety nine after that ship, y'all did ninety nine. Bro,
I don't want to hear about all this shit. I don't hear about none
of that ship. Bro, niggas was stepping in, stepping in the name
of lovefucker was watching Trap in the closet one through goddamn one hundred and seventy
five, word for word, watching that ship every day. Bro, I
want to hear it, bro, and for me, And when you were
sending me the songs, the R Kelly songs that dawned on me like I
never bought and listened to a whole album of R Kelly. I never listened
or liked an entire album of R Kelly. I just liked the singles.
Plus I was a kid. I was a fucking kid. But it's crazy
now how them songs still be like God damn when you hear them like this
is good as fuck, like and this nigga just yeah. But back to
T D Jake's he lost me, him and him and Tyler Perry lost me
with the little fake holy ghost ship, the nigga t D. Jake's doing
all this and Tyler Perry doing the ship today that pastors do in the boom
now fainted and why y'all playing with God bro? Like stop playing man?
And then and then while he doing all that holy ghost a woman come out
and talking about push that baby out? Like what are y'all talking about up
here? Like what's going on right now? We need to have a for
real, for serious conversation about how the church manipulates me. But that's not
for today today. I just feel like churches be on bullshit. Not all
I mean, but so some got good pastors. I ain't gonna lie something
might got good, but a lot of them are in it for the moment.
What happened to the other bishop or the other guy that was in Atlanta
who was sleeping with those boys? Run two and nine ten? You have
the weird ass beer. It's not Bishop td Jake's. What's Eddie? Bishop
Eddy Loan? Is that his name? Yeah? I don't know what.
I ain't seen that nigga name in a minute. I ain't seen that one
one that they just was wearing all the designer ship they got robbed, the
little fake robbery and ship. Yeah, it's too easy to people like that.
It's too easy to take advantage of poor people. And I just it's
too easy. I hate it. Bro. I saw a video the other
day that was like, because everybody gonna believe, like every most people believe
in God. So once you throw anything with like God or like that or
anything, it's gonna get the people running. Like even when you strolling on
social media, you see apposed to be like if you scroll past this God
some some something or you know what I'm saying, motherfucker, be like,
damn, I seen this, motherfucker. Let me go ahead the right guy
in the comments right quick. If around you might strike me or bad luck.
You know. I remember the chaining letter back in Nigga ninety eight or
ninety nine. It had to be wearing that time. I saw something that
was like if you do not, if you don't, I don't forget.
What they was asking for you to do is something like similar to like a
repost. If you don't repost it that you like, I love her.
I got to make sure. Yeah, I need everything. I mean,
I used to little bitch so much. Man. I remember they used to
say something like, if you look at a red a red bird and make
make good wishing and fly away. I used to make wishes like the motherfucker
I was shooting ship after we got damn state birds. Bitch y'all alled to
me so many god damn times. All these red birds I don't seen in
them, made wishes and ain't nothing. The bit just came true, man
I was I always wish for a chick, always man, a chick,
money, a car. I never wish for money or a car. I
always wish for a damn girl. Oh no, I done it for money,
cars or just somebody else like Nah, that ship was crazy and all
that. Man. I just I saw a post. Uh it said that,
uh, poor people make up eighty percent of the people who buy a
lottery tickets. And I know it ain't nothing, but they cheap to buy
well here and spend all your money. It was not winning what they were
saying. They were saying that if you hated your job and there was no
room for growth, and you hated your life and you couldn't afford than a
lottery ticket does seem like a for sure shot way to get out of the
hell hole now. And I used to be like, there's a lot of
people struggling, like struggling, struggling, bro like and y'all like like people
saying that ship long time ago. People are fucking struggling, bro And and
I might think that I'm without money, but this motherfucker it's worse than me,
bro, way worse worse than us. Bro. I'm like, so
that's why I just never got that ship neither, Like why y'all hear God,
motherfucker's playing for all this money because they need that money. My mama
said this ship all the time. If I wouldn't a lot of eybody this,
I'm like you, I'm not even making it on that, bro.
And and they really think they got a shot. That's the thing. I
saw another video. It was like it's just like why not just this should
there shouldn't be no homeless people, like some people want to be homeless.
I'll just be I don't know, I just be thinking about like period,
like really money, like none of that ship really should have ever even been
a problem, Like all of this ship that we do, motherfuckers could have
just all this ship would have been free, like every life could have been
free as fuck. You know that you ain't with it. With that,
I'm just saying, if we never really needed it, why do we need
it? Because I need it for If you give people, let's say you
just give people like I just think it to be a Let's let's say let's
say you take money out of it. Let's say you take money out of
it. Money isn't money. I don't feel like money is the issue most
of the time. I feel like majority of the time is a motherfucker's mind
that is preventing them from getting ahead, the inability to think clear. And
when I start when I was in pain, like and I couldn't walk for
far far or sit too long or stand up too long, it dawned on
me how much pain over overly consumed my life. I didn't I nigga.
If I had to park too far at the grocery store to go in,
I wouldn't. I wouldn't go. I'd be like, no, I'm not
about to park way back here because I gotta walk, and then I gotta
walk in there. I wasn't so much pain. I was in so much
pain that I started thinking about what if that pain wasn't physical pain but mental
pain. You got people who've been right lested, they got their parents is
killed, they got some babies are born up to the drugs, motherfucker's DNA
chromosomes. All this shit is fucked up. If you have all of this
shit, Bro, money ain't the issue. My issue is I can't silence
my fucking thoughts long enough to do homework or to love this person, or
to go to work, or to sit in the car, or to pay
my I can't silence these fucking thoughts. The mental I think, the overall
mental health of what has happened, like motherfucker's fucked up. So imagine if
you didn't have your mama, or you didn't have Rodney, or if I
didn't have my mama, or to my mama. I'm from I'm we was
in Gary, So what if my family never left Gary. I'll be going
to Gary, like, Bro, we made it out this motherfucker nigga,
And I'll be talking to niggas from where I'm from. And I'm like,
bro, I see why you still here because if you left this place with
that mentality, you're fucked. When you talk to certain when you talk to
a certain motherfuckers bro, and you be like, bro, talk the mother
fuckers from the hood. Bro. I' was like, like, bro,
why you still like you ain't changed? You still listen to chopping screw music.
I'm just saying, like, like, what are you doing. You're
still coming out, just sitting on the porch every day. So it's not
for me. I don't think it's because you can get these people money.
You can give them a million dollars. I remember one time we was talking.
I was ever a curb and uh. We were talking about the lottery
ship and Shawayne was like, I was like, Yo, you know what
niggas do if you got a million. Minch just said, I'm not I'm
not leaving. Listen what he said. I'm not leaving. I'm staying here.
And Wayne was so Wayne said, she was like why you don't want
to? He said, because this is all I know. If I get
money, I'm just gonna do what I've been doing every single day. And
and the look on her face was like you raggedy pitched the look on her
fact, but you some people don't want there's situation to change. They just
want money to buy more bullshit, like and then I feel like I saw
mother fucking video motherfucker about a jet ski broo yah, dumb ass ship.
That's why I just said. I just feel like it would be a better
place because like if it never was a thing, people wouldn't do dumb ship
that they do for you know what I'm saying, Like people get money and
just because they got money, they want to splurs and show out and just
buy dumb ass ship and now and now and now they got people like us
that don't got money, that that spend a little money that they got just
to try to be like these motherfuckers. But I see what you're saying,
and I agree, But I think it's a double as toward because I feel
like people believe that money is going to solve their issues and it's not.
Yeah they do, That's what I'm saying, Like people rob kill for money
and it's still bro you still you still like two and rent for not fifteen?
You know what I'm saying, Like it's just stupid ship. So I
don't know. I was just saying, like I think the illusion of money
because like I know, when I don't know, everything just seems like it's
about money though, when it comes to the world, all the dead and
all the bullshit, ship that money that that needs to be that we need
to remake ship or just whatever. But I just feel like we got people.
It's the people that does that do the ship, you know what I'm
saying, that make the ship. Yeah. People probably if before people started
getting paid, I feel like motherfuckers would have just done the ship. No,
No, absolutely not. They wouldn't know no better. If you like
how back in the day, motherfuckers was just builling shit. Bro, they
probably won't get paid shit for it. They just bill shit at the bill
shit there was. There has always been an instance of I do this for
something, work exchange, work in exchange for something, or you wore a
slave pretty much, so I'm going for food or for anything, I'm gonna
we're gonna exchange services, or I'm gonna give you this cow and you're gonna
give me this or it was always a barter system, and then the motherfuckers
like, oh well, we'll just have taxes and we'll make motherfuckers. Yeah
I know. So what I'm saying is I'll give what you're saying. There's
always that, but you but you got but but then you have those people
who know how to do things and they just do it like and they don't
need money. If I if I can do certain ship, I don't need
the money. I'm just saying like people are just doing ship that they love
to do. Yeah, so I feel like if it started like that,
then you but then now then everybody would mindset would be different. But keep
that. Keep that's keep what you're saying. If people could think that's that's
what that's to go back to what I'm saying, some people can't even make
that decision about what they love and what they would You ask the motherfucker right
now, Hey, what would you do everything all day? What would you
want to do everythingle if? And I asked my wife this, I asked
Mama this, I asked everybody this. If you didn't have to worry about
money, what would you do every day? Sit down and map it out
from Sunday to Saturday? What would you do every day if you didn't have
to worry about money? And motherfuckers will say watch TV, bro, I
swear to god, bro. Motherfuckers will say that, And I'd be like,
all right, I'm gonna wake up at this time I'm gonna go to
the gym. I'm gonna come home. I'm gonna eat this, I'm gonna
do this. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna
do it. I have a whole I think I will be able to program
my life a lot, a lot better if I did not have money.
All right, cool, great, I'm so happy we having this conversation.
All right, all right, shut it up, meute it up now that
now that, now that I've asked you that question, tell me, honestly,
have you ever sat and thought about what you wanted your life to be
from Sunday to Saturday, taking into account every hour of the day. Have
you ever sat and thought? Honestly, have you ever saw Sat to Saturday,
Sunday to Saturday. Have you ever sat probably not set in thought yesterday
Monday? No? No, all right, cool. Let's say that life
is like a restaurant and you go to and you're in this restaurant of life
right now, and God is the and God is the server what he gonna
give you? If you never sat down and said what you want it,
if you never actually sat down and told yourself what you want it, then
how is God who's here to ship? Like, take three steps, you
take this step. If he's if he's all of this, if you never
actually sat down and said I want this, this, this, this,
this, this and this, then how he gonna bless you? I mean
I've sat and sat in thought. Probably not like I said Monday through Sunday,
but I've deaf sat like and I feel like if I if I had,
if I if my finances was right, and don't take finances out.
I think that's the issue. Ain't no finances, ain't no finances because what
you want in life? I know you. You're a simple nigga, bro,
you are not. You are not a finance nigga. You want bills
paid. I want my bill, I want I want my kids. I
want to be able to do things for my family and people that I love.
Right so now, so now now this is what this is like.
This is the assignment. This is the assignment. You need to sit down
and be It's detailed as like a like a fucking playbook when it comes to
sports, as detailed as fucking possible when it comes to this ship. Because
my nigga d j A I he was like he said, hey, bro,
because last year we had this conversation and he was like, hey,
man, I want to say that I'm proud of you. And I was
like why. He said, because you're living life the exact same way you
said you wanted to live. And I was like, what do you mean?
He said, Bro, you waking up, going to the gym,
You're dropping your kids off, you're eating, you edit in podcasts, and
you with your kids. You with this, He said, if you was
a little bit more detailed about how much money you want it, you probably
would have it the way. And I was like, damn it. Really
I really had to stop and think like, yeah, I'm struggling financially,
but everything else is exactly the way I want it. And I was like,
fuck, I need to become more grateful and start acknowledging how grateful that
I am, because I don't want my server to think that I don't like
the food that they gave me, because this is the food that I asked
for, you know what I'm saying. And I feel like, as black
boys and as black people, I feel like a lot of the times I
used to go to the store of my mom and she'd be like, don't
ask for nothing, don't touch nothing. Da da da da da da da
dah. Or well, we mighta grew up broke to where we didn't ask
for nothing because we didn't want to put the burden on our parents to get
us to sh shit. So I was like I when I got the morning,
when I bought the Mortar Combat, I was like, that was the
first game I ever bought with my money. Like that was like, I
mean, I about Mario and shit like that, but it was like on
sale, this motherfucker was one old something. I bought the Premium Joint and
I was like, I was like, damn, Like this is what I
didn't ask myhama to do for me because we nigga, we had crazy taxi
cruise in USA, motherfucking crash, Tony howg double seven, motherfucker all of
that shit. So I didn't ask none of that stuff. And I think
I grew up reluctant to ask God, like God was my mom, Like
I didn't want to Like who am I to ask for this stuff? Nigga,
I can ask for whatever the fuck I want. So I think that
until we grow the balls or grow the I don't gonna say grow the balls
because niggas is ballsy. Pause. I think it's more so like I deserve
this and I need to ask. I need to find a way to act
ask. And then and I feel like like like I was thinking, like,
damn, what if Jeff had a vision board party instead of a fight
party? Jeff had a vision board party. The reason why I use Jeff
is because over there, I feel like his environment that he creates for his
friends makes it. Makes it like when me and Jamar sit on the couch
I forgure, I don't know where you was at. I was looking at
it and I was like, man, this motherfucker is nice. Man.
He was like, bro, imagine if we grew up and some ship like
that. He was like, imagine if we grew up thinking that this was
possible, that this that the ceiling like this. What if we thought that
this was the normal and not TIBs or not growth if we And I was
like, fuck, Broma supposed to be watching a fight. You got member
her fucking thinking. But it always ended up being like that though. But
I'm saying like if if I knew, if I knew what I know now,
no no, no, yeah. With that, I'm talking about like
back to the vision board ship. If I I feel like family members and
not friends, well, whoever you talk to the most, I feel like
they opposed to being an accountability partner for the gym. What if you knew
everything that I was trying to accomplish and I knew everything that you was trying
to accomplish and opposed to being an accountability partner. Whenever I see something on
my timeline that aligns with what you're trying to do, or somebody presents an
opportunity to me with something that you're trying to do, I send it to
you, opposed to just only sending you funny stuff. You know what I'm
saying. And I feel like I feel like more people need to figure out
what it is they want from this life because we only get one. And
I think that's the thing is figuring out figuring out what we want. Yeah,
because I feel like for me, like when I'm I'm trying to write
this Black Widow shit and I feel like I haven't written in a long time,
and I feel like now I want to learn the proper way to write.
I want I'm watching the The Tyler Period shit, I'm like, bro,
this this ship ain't that far off from what you're doing. Yeah,
like his start, I'm where he at now, completely way off. But
I'm saying how he started is not too far off from me. Invited all
you fucking Reef and Brooklyn and all these motherfuckers to my crib to record some
ship that I wrote, or that Liz rote, or that Brittany wrote.
And now, if we did this consecutively and then found somebody who was good
at marketing who wanted to do this, bro, we could have did whatever.
We could have did whatever. But so many people, everybody that I
just named, all have mental hurdles that stopped them from doing exactly what they
want to do. And God can't bless those blessings come from the sky.
And if we blocking them with uncertainty or running away from it, yeah yeah,
death run away from me too. I'd be like, Nah, I
ain't ready for that, nigga, you are. I'm sending it for a
reason. God keeps saying I'm sending this ship. I'm gonna stop one day,
but right now I'm gonna keep sending it. I had that thought too,
like man show, I'll be like, man, I just please don't
stop. I knew I wasn't open and ready to receive pause what you are
trying to give me? But I just hope that you what you ain't done
yet, I swear, I just I just need to learn, Like I
think my problem is organized. Once once you, once you sit down and
say what you want, bro, everything is gonna be. Everythings gonna be
cacking. Promise you. I swear to God because now it's gonna be like,
now you know what help to ask for? I think that's what it
is too. I don't really know what what I need help with. You
know what I'm saying. Like, so I don't even want to ask nobody
because I'm not sure. I asked my mentor. I asked this Nigga Random
Questions movie producer. He owns Q Coke podcast company. I was like,
what is a successful podcast? I've never asked that question. How do I
know that what I'm doing is successful? So I asked him, I was
like, what my fucking phone is recorded? How he told me? He
told me he was like your audience selling ass to the like who your audience
is, how big the audience is? As you can sell the audience and
whatever content that you create, can you sell it to become a TV show
and or a TV series, And he said, those are the main three.
If you don't have if you're creating, if you're creating ship back to
the original conversation we start the pod. If you're creating ship without the and
without the audience in mind, you don't have an audience because you don't know
how to communicate to this audience. Which if you knew how to communicate to
this audience, somebody can give you something to tell. You know, you
can tell your audience to buy it. And because we know that your audience
bought it from that, then we put it on Amazon. We could sell
you know what I'm saying Like that, that's that's define how they look at
it. They're looking to see that. You see, he got a following.
They got a following that they following their followers or the listeners, gauge,
engage and then do whatever they tell them to do. Another person told
me they said, stop doing business, stop doing business with people, start
doing business with business with businesses. So now Rare needs to do business with
another business and not people. So now you go to a company and say,
yo, I want to do and will handle this and it'll be this
much, and I think too. The problem is that we don't even know
how to price our ship because now price comes from a self worth thing self
worth. Like then I don't want to say too much. I'm scaring motherfucker.
And then and then it comes like area as well. So like here,
I'm in Indianapolis, I couldn't. I can, but I probably wouldn't
sell ship for what I could selling for because I know the marketing here.
I know people here might not. You know what I'm saying. Surprised,
bro, now you would, you would be surprised at how many motherfuckers I've
been surprised since what I what I do, I've done, you know what
I'm saying. But I also some stuff I had to, like, I'm
gonna just keep it here, you know what I'm saying. I don't have
stuff where people like, bro, you can sell it for more than this.
I'm like, Nah, I'm gonna just keep it here because I just
know that might be too much. You know what I'm saying, But it
is my price. My price is my price. Like one of my niggas
told me when I asked when I first started doing this, he said,
I'd rather get my ship, away for free than the lower my price.
And I said, oh my mama, okay, because it is what it
is like if I if I'm a lower my price, somebody will just give
it to you for I'm already I'm already losing. At this point, motherfucker
hit me up and asked me how much would it cost to mix a song?
And I said, give me five. I do it for five if
I do it in two days, give me five. It was like,
oh that's how much. That's how much so and so charged? And Bro,
I got so upset? What that? What does that mean? The
fuck that got it? Do it? Big worms said at the motherfucking best
the niggas Craig got fired, got do with me? Bro? What the
do that even mean? Because I feel like you're trying to tell me that
I should lower my price because it's not It might be where another engineer is
who you might deem is more credible than me, And this is the problem.
I don't give a fuck, Bro, I don't give a fuck who
they are. I don't, bro, because my level of my standard.
You are paying for a standard level, and you're paying for my time.
I got three kids and a wife and my own projects. So you're paying
me to take me away from them and away from my ship and away from
the gym. You're you're not. I don't give a fuck about the Yes,
I'm gonna make it sh it sound cool. But even in that,
you ain't about to do nothing with this motherfucking song. Bro. You ain't
about to do ship, but put it on fucking Instagram and put it on
iTunes and do a video and then that be that. It's not about to
You're not about to do nothing behind It doesn't matter. Your audience doesn't know
you for fucking quality, bro, So you're you coming to me like bro?
You making me mad, bro, And I don't want to be mad.
Make me mad because all of you niggas fucking are ramon noodle eating niggas
when it comes to quality, and I am a motherfucking surfing turf nigga.
My quality is surfing turf, motherfucking and they don't understanding that. Bro.
It's not bro, we are not no you when you come over here.
It ain't no great value over here, man, but you are creating great
value content. And until you get to a level like, stay where you
at. Just stay where you at and I feel like a lot of motherfuckers.
I got to a point now, bro to where I would much rather
do nothing like you said. I would much rather give it away for free.
It's lower my price because I feel like you asking me to low on
my price. It's telling me that it's given broke. Yeah, like it's
given broke, and it's giving what you gonna think my ship good enough?
And it's given that, what do you think? Why so why are you
even fucking asking me what the fuck? You ain't going in mother fucking Gucci
and telling them, motherfuckers, there's too much y'all going to that motherfucker spend
two hundred three hundreds some fucking flip flops or some feel so bro don't want
to hear that, And I feel like and I feel like too when I
try to give motherfuckers like maybe people don't understand ship y'all be spending all his
money on on this chest. I was not talking about rear goddamnout. I'm
more so speaking about where I started, and you know, and maybe maybe
like fifty other people know, maybe people I went to high school with.
But brob been making ship on their computer since I was fourteen years old.
I am thirty seven. I didn't have all of this. I got a
lot of shit over here. My shit sound different, my shit sound better.
But it took a while to get to this point, bro, And
I used to feel like I used to feel like I couldn't be as braggadocious
as I am currently. I used to feel like I had to shrink myself.
And the only reason why I felt like I needed to shrink myself is
because me not shrinking myself made you, trash motherfuckers very uncomfortable. Them days
are fucking over, Bro, though, these days are over. When I
talk to people about they content, I'm now like, Yo, we've talked
for ten minutes. If you want to talk more, it's three hundred dollars
an hour. I'm sorry, it's three hundred dollars a conversation, because now
what niggas is doing? Like, if now what niggas is doing, they'll
come to you and say, Ken and I got an idea for a clothing
line, and then they'll talk yo, motherfucking ear off, ear off,
And I'm like, bro, why the fuck do you think this information that
I had to pay for on my I had to pay for this, whether
I pay somebody else for the consultation, or I had to pay you had
to go and order some shit from China and the motherfuckers some shit. You
gotta go. You went through all the No, what I'm giving you now
needs to be paid for. If you a motherfucking chef out there and you
answering motherfucker's questions in your inbox, stop it, stop it. You gotta
pay for this. If you a motherfucking you gotta pay for it. That's
why I just don't get it. Like Cauz, Like, hain't he hit
me up, little meat, Like a couple of motherfuckers that hit me up
about my clothes. You know they do the little shit and like tag such
and such such motherfuckers tag me in the inbox. You all your people with
tagging boom boom. So I'm like, shit, what's up, whe's your
po boxer? What's the name? I seen you some shit out for free.
I've seen you some shit. They're like, no, they're trying to
promote they on videos or what boom Boom paid it? Like what, No,
I'm not paying twelve hundred for you to put my shit in your fucking
story for twenty four hours bro, like, get the fuck out of my
face, out of these niggas's broken there. You're not strumming me by trying
to scam people with dreams. Bro, if I had it and that shiit
wasn't nothing, then all right. But I don't got it. If I
wouldn't need to be paying and I wouldn't need to be like or maybe I
do, but it wouldn't be you. It wouldn't be you. I saw
you a little me and you took a picture with dirty nails looking back at
your ass. Oh my god, you need to be fired for that.
I don't even know how you keep getting away. Hold on, I don't
know how you keep getting away with this bullshit. Your daddy sold drugs to
the community. Your daddy did. Your daddy has locked the fuck up and
all of his friends are locked the fuck up. And he looks crazy as
hell because he sold so much drugs to the community, and he put a
fucking billboard in Atlanta to showcase that he was buying drugs for the community.
He went to jail because he was stupid, and you stupid as a motherfucker
too. You're too flashy, bro, You you ain't nobody meach you're not
nobody. Your dad is and barely he's so drugs to the community. That's
it. Bro. You're you acting on the show about your daddy. Of
course you can act like your daddy. So yeah, that's great, kudos
to you, But my nigga, I don't like how you ain't dead enough.
I'm sorry you ain't did enough out here. You're just out here,
just doing the most. I wish you would have told me what you told
him, Bro. I would have blasted you, bro, because no,
you ain't dead enough. Bro. I've produced more shit than you. So
my thing is my thing is if this is my bragg of shit, and
I'm going into twenty twenty four like this, my nigga, if I produced
more than you, you can't. You can't talk to me, and you
can't talk to me. You can talk to me, but you can't talk
to me any fucking kind of way. Shut your mouth when you're talking to
me. He's so fluck my soul. FU anybody, but that's anybody.
If you a fucking my sister, she's a baker. She's baked hundreds and
hundreds of fucking cakes. I can't tell her you can't cake. You can't
tell her Ship if you if you can't do something consistently for years, you
can't tell me ship. If you can't do nothing consistently for years without getting
paid for it. You can't tell me Ship if the quality keep going up
and I'm still not getting paid because it's a fucking journey, you can't tell
me Ship and everybody. You gotta put that work in. You gotta put
that work in. And I feel like what you're doing right now, you're
putting that work in. Me. We putting that work in. But us
deflating ourselves because we ain't got money or because we y'all feel we don't got
a name, or we ain't celebrities. I feel like crying. Yeah,
I said, are you regularly? Like regular than the bitch? And it's
fucked up because Moniga is saying the shit forever and motherfuckers thinks she's motherfuckers thought
that she was going crazy. And that's the fun thing about the world.
Like that's why I say, like with the industry and shit is just fucked
up because I'll just be feeling like like they be saying the little rituals and
Ship the humiliation rituals. They got to go through that and ship like that
or just people be thinking that ship is sweet and it's not. It's not
sweet, like it's not. They're struggling. They're struggling, bro, They're
struggling. And then and then when they get the exposed and they want to
talk about the ship, the media flip it to make you think that these
motherfuckers are nuts and they're not. They just tell the truth because the motherfucker's
definitely flipped on Monique bro flip it was crazy and Monique was talking about the
same person that's Eraji was talking about, yes, which is Oprah Oprah Oprah,
but they said Tyler Perry looked out, but it's Lee Daniels and Oprah
and Oprah. Yeah. I feel like I saw a video Oprah said people
should be happy about the role that they got. I told people that they
should be joyful that I asked them to play in this movie. And I'm
like, Nigga, I can't pay motherfucking bills with joy. Bitch, give
me my money, Bitch, I don't. I'm not about to bust my
ass for for this all this hard work. But I feel when I already
got a name, I got, you gotta name. I just feel like
I feel like we are a lot of people are fighting to get into an
industry that is not that it is not like y'all think it is. And
that's why I say, you gotta find joy in creating this ship for free,
because right now, if I can create my ship with my friends and
I canna pay my bills and I can and I can eat the way I
want to eat, and I would be all right, good, I will
worry about it. I would be childcare and eating. How I gotta pay
childcare rent and I gotta eat. That's it, you know what I mean.
I gotta pay these bills, man. And I feel like people wanting
more, you can want more. I'm not saying, don't ask for more.
And I might be selling myself short by not asking for more. I
just said, ask for more. But my thing is that the actors and
the writers and the producers and the directors and the musicians and this and this
and that we keep hearing stories about how they do not have any money,
and then we keep hearing J Cole say, well I got money. That
wasn't happy. I keep telling like this whole podcast like it's crazy, because
even with sports players, like we looking at them with all this money that
they getting. Stephannim get forty years like this and that. But depending on
what state they in, shit is different taxes all that. So I was
watching some of TikTok word dude was breaking down everybody like people that got the
big contracts where they're from, and then like a motherfucker's death was like got
like a four year or two hundred something like that. Boom. By the
time all this shit was out, he was looking at bro. It was
it was crazy. It was like eighty billion or so or some shit like
that, which is still cool, but it's like, so think about the
people with lower than that. By the time they get like like the motherfuckers
they got the Lakers they won, they get five hundred k. Once they
take all that, they only getting two hundred and some thousands, Like Bro,
it's something, and the way that they live their life, the two
hundred thousand is not long, it's not nothing. So it's like the more
it's just fucked up. How the more you make, the more taxes they
gonna take. So it's basically you back to square, back to where I
was when I was making fucking fifteen dollars an hour. No, I mean
shit, like, all all that overtime ship, all that shit is a
fucking scam. You got me working all these overtime hours and then when taxes
come you know, and took all this bread. Now I'm looking like,
bitch, you raggety I could have got damn. This is what I was
basically my check when I worked, not over time before y'all took You know
what I'm saying, like, just be crazy, man, because I thought
when I got this one job, I'm like, shit, that's all right,
I'm getting paid twenty three. No bet, I'm looking at them checks.
I'm like, bro, why do this don't look like what is supposed
to be though I feel like it's supposed to be more money than this.
I had an interview there and they was like, it was like how much
money? I said, yo, so what's the what's the starting salary for
this? She said something. I was like, she said that enough.
I was like, no, that's definitely not enough. She was like,
well, how much do you? I said, what a going rate for
this position is eighty, so it's close to that as possible. And then
the way bro niggas I have I keep having to tell people I have to
pay for childcare. Bro, that shit is not cheap, So I'm not
about to Yes, this job is the job that I want. Yes,
this job awesome, But if you're not gonna pay me, and I got
to come to this motherfucker and listen to y'all, and y'all not like everything
you my tolerance for my tolerance, My attitude is way better when I have
money in my pocket and I know that you're gonna piss me off in some
capacity. I know that, and I'm willing to let that ship go if
you pay me, right, But if I got to walk into this motherfucker
knowing that y'all not paying me, and then I start to feel like y'all
playing me, and then I still got to pay child care and and then
bills and all other stressed if you just if you just pay and I feel
like that Now now I'm waking up yourself. Know your worth, nigga,
My action has been louder than my words, nigga. Yeah, Drake,
Drake was right. Craig was right about that because because asking asking your asking
for your worth can be very scary, because now you gotta wait on the
response you gotta read on response and it might not be like, well,
you know what I mean, your time's ran up here. I feel like
you did enough here, So you fire me now because I just asked you
a question. Yeah, some questions you can't even ask some questions. Why
why are you stepping to me like this? Why are you putting this pressure
on me while you overstepping them bound, That's what it is. Why you
putting this pressure on me? Now? I feel like twenty twenty four.
I feel like twenty twenty four. I think I have a better understanding of
I think I have a better perspective of my ability. And I was thinking
about I was thinking about when we first started potting and when Black Widow first
came out. When we first started potting, people wasn't potting. When Black
Widow came out, there wasn't There wasn't no script of shit like that.
No. And I was like, man, niggas, I really had a
wave. We really had a wave, my Mama, We did. And
I was like going lived shows and all kinds of I was thinking in my
head, like I think the problem was I didn't know what success was supposed
to look like. We were successful and I feel like not identifying what success
is properly will fuck up everything. So I feel like going into the next
year, identify what success is for you, for your brand, for your
health, for everything. It's just And then the reason why I think that
working out helps me is because I go to that motherfucker every day and then
I look in the mirror and sometimes I don't see nothing change. I don't
see anything. But then I'll see somebody and they like, bro, yeah,
my mama, because that's how when I was born. I'm like,
yeah, but it's that every day. It's it's chiseling away. It's just
every day you just don't see it. Because when I had dreads like my
ship, they looked the same to me, but like your shit longer,
Tim, I'm like, damn, is it look I see these mouers every
day. Yeah. I definitely got to get back in the gym, though,
because at that time when I did finally like really went for them to
like a year, that shit felt great. I think that I think for
you just being transparent because you're my dog, I think you just got to
become very very comfortable with being uncomfortable because and I know that is that's it
on my life because I do not like being uncomfortable. Once I'm uncomfortable,
I'll shut up. I shut down, and I just you gotta be very,
gotta be very, You gotta become that gotta be the new normal for
you. I feel like the more comfortable you feel, the more you should
be trying to get out of that, because it's like, Okay, I've
learned what I needed to learn here. I mean, go let me do
something else. And I feel like the circle. I feel like your circle
can serve you way better. But until you figure out exactly how your circle
can serve you, your circle can't serve you. You know, you know
a lot of motherfuckers, bro, you know a lot of motherfuckers that can
You know what I'm saying, and I do too. So that's why I
was like, you know what, I need to really write, write a
story that is that's gonna get an audience, and I need to bring the
show back. I need to do it consistently because I don't feel like recording
every fucking day. I don't feel like editing every day, but I like
recording. I just don't. I gotta do the video, I gotta do
the audio. You know what I'm saying. I set the lights up,
but I want to do that ship. But that's just ship that I want
to learn though to. But you just gotta do it. Got everybody,
hey, listeners. I know y'all ill be like, man, this nigga
is well, I don't give a fuck. You know why because I got
two daughters and a son, right And I told my wife last night,
I was like, well, we gotta do you know before Christmas? I
said, well, can I go to the gym? And she said why?
And I said, well, because I want my daughters and my son
to look at me like I'm a superhero and I want to. I want
them to think that I'm cool, and I want them to understand that when
Daddy say he wants to do something, Daddy's going to do it. Because
when I grew up, I didn't really see I didn't see nobody in my
family to go to the gym, and nor did I see any nigga getting
up every day doing some shit that they did not want to do. Like
I don't want to go to the gym every day, but I don't go
to that motherfucker. I don't want to clean up my house. I got
to clean up my house every day, like I didn't just clean it yesterday.
My kids would take everything out of the toy box and sprinkle it like
salt bag all over the fucking floor. They take bananas and squash it on
place in May and they leave it there and I don't know that they left
it there, and I step in and I squished it. Now I have
to do this every single day. But when you start looking at responsibility,
I look at responsibility like I'm blessed to have this responsibility. I'm blessed to
be a father, I'm blessed to be a husband. I'm blessed to be
able to take care of these little motherfuckers. So I want to look the
best and I want to have a clear head. And I used to look
at it like a burden. I used to look at this ship like a
burden, like fuck, I gotta get up and go. I gotta get
up and take it. I gotta get up. And I was like,
bro, if these motherfuckers was taken from me, be sick? What now
for real life? Like what? I used to be like that sometimes,
But now I'd be like, it's my daughter. I want to be right,
and I get excited when I see y'all stuff like that. So it's
like where to God is? That's why that's how I feel with job.
Like if I feel like it's a burden, it's it's pretty much over.
It's pretty much right. When I try, I try, I'm trying to
save. I'm trying to prevent that from happening with a lot of ship,
you know what I'm saying. Trying to prevent that from happening. So I
gotta go and I gotta walk into this anything like that. With this brand,
I'd be like, bro, I just be like fuck it sometimes because
they gotta serve you. It has to serve I just like I'm putting so
much money in it, and it's just like, don't give up on I
ain't seeing it. Don't give up on that ship because you just gotta figure
out what's gonna work for you and identify that success because like I said,
the server ain't gonna give it to you until you identify until you fully Like
just think about that, Like, just think about going into a restaurant and
a server keep coming up, and what do you want people come back?
You keep saying that ship and the motherfucker gonna stop coming, Mama, You're
gonna look up with my serviuckers service somebody else. You know what I'm saying,
because Nigga, I look at some people and I'm like, man,
God ain't even talking to you right now, talking to you on your side
of the town over there, he gone, he'd be back over there later,
a couple of years later or something. Some people ain't even being blessed
like that. Bro. I just feel like I'm being blessed. So I
can't sit here and not now that I have your attention, I want this,
this, this, this, this, this, and this. I'm
gonna do this. Would this, would this? With this? Would have
this? Would it? I just and especially with Black Widow Man, I
was like, man, if I stop, a lot of people wouldn't.
I mean, I want to make it to where it's like a platform to
wear. Actors from here and from local plays around here come to me and
be like, y'all, I want to act in this ship because I want
to you. I want to. I want I want to be heard.
I want to be heard. I want to and I'm thinking in my head,
I wish that people look like if people if Tyler Perry could start over.
Yeah, I wonder if people would be willing to do the ship,
to put it in the work that it took to get to where he is
now. Like and I'd be feeling like if only people can see me like
that? But do I even see myself like that? So I gotta change
my mentality? You know what I mean? Because I come here? Cuse
say, right, what's your name? Why are you so shy? What's
up talking talking to Mike? You to hell me? Bro? They really
get shy though, like quick, what type of like in case we be
in the car, she'd be singing her telle I Nigga's singing. Soon as
I look though, I'm like, why why you stop? Keep going?
But I'll be the same way my tea daughter, her oldest daughter. She
come around me and she be she'd be shrinking herself. Yeah, I definitely
used to be on there, like, bro, stop doing that. I'm
like, what's up? Hey, why are you talking to that? For?
What are you talking about? Like? You know me? Like girl,
your daddy. Girls, I have seen you ship on yourself and all
kinds of shit. Girls. You know, I have seen way more embarrassing
stuff than you singing. And she be singing though, So I mean,
man, my oldest Kennedy, she being singing. She takes like singing classes
and stuff, so she do that cheer dance. I'm just trying to see
what Case's gonna do because she keeps backing like she want to play sports.
One man is basketball, and then it's soccer. Then now he's watching volleyball,
and she wanted So we're gonna we're gonna see tell the baby playing get
a little height on you. We're gonna have to put you in the back.
You ain't tall enough to be they need they need them tall ones up
front. Yeah, I really wanted to hoop. Of course you do.
I'm about to go get something to eat. Man, there was a pleasure
sitting here with you today because I love you. Man, what are you
about to eat? I don't know what I'm about to eat Sunday. So
I need some soap. I need. I need some baked beans and macarney.
I got some mother fucking protein waffles and chicken sausage about the bag.
I need some protein. Ship then I've been I ain't breakfast. Yeah,
I hat shit either today. Well, listeners, Merry Christmas to y'all.
Thank y'all so much for Cross Black and the philosophy. I really do appreciate
y'all. We appreciate child Christmas is cool and not for those who have lost
family members and this is a rough time for y'all. We pray for you.
Rush, Bro, Christmas is your head up. Christmas is fucking overbearing.
Bro to the grocery store and they fucking blasting the motherfucking Christma music out
of six twelves at the I love Christmas music though, but imagine if you
Christmas but but but working as somewhere like that. I remember I worked at
Walmart on Amazon and they was playing the Christmas same Christmas songs every day,
every fucking day. I mind you, I was in Amazon for twelve hours
every day, the same ship. I'm like, Bro, I don't want
to hear this ship man working at Walmart Walmart to you. I don't want
to at least play play a different After a while, you just stopped hearing
that ship crazy, Like how the fuck did I just zone that out?
I just went death for this whole fucking work ship. I hear everything else
besides the music music crazy. I hear my complaining about the music, like
I don't even you hear that ship. I don't hear that. Kind of
kind of be what people must be like when they hear my kids, because
I don't hear that ship no more. Yeah, motherucking kids, And that's
how I be with the daddy. The dads can after a while, that
ship, that ship, you know, just I don't hear that ship.
Let them play, let them do the kids, let them, let them
do what they do. We handled that later. Let them play. I
don't hear. Well, listeners, We do appreciate you allways, See y'all next week