WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.200 --> 00:00:11.759 Callaroga Shark Media, have me a clips day. I'm Chuckie Mack with your 2 00:00:11.839 --> 00:00:15.439 daily comedy news. I just recorded an episode of five Good News Stories, 3 00:00:15.480 --> 00:00:18.320 Number five Good News Stories, and the first story there is all about the 4 00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:22.239 eclipse. If you'd like some eclipse fun facts. Did you see the moon 5 00:00:22.440 --> 00:00:26.719 is getting its own time zone? Stephen Colbert joked it'll be great for anyone 6 00:00:26.719 --> 00:00:30.039 who needs an excuse to day drink. Hey, it's moon o'clock somewhere. 7 00:00:30.280 --> 00:00:33.320 Jimmy Kimmel said, this sounds like a fake project Trump would have given Mike 8 00:00:33.359 --> 00:00:37.000 Pence to keep him busy. Seth Myers said, in honor of the solar 9 00:00:37.039 --> 00:00:41.280 eclipse, Krispy Kreme is offering a glazed donut that's dipped in black chocolate icing 10 00:00:41.320 --> 00:00:44.920 and top lit sprinkles, buttercream frosting, and an oriole that is true the 11 00:00:45.079 --> 00:00:48.200 joke. After a dozen of those, you will also block out the sun. 12 00:00:48.600 --> 00:00:51.119 I have no voice today. I don't know why. I don't think 13 00:00:51.200 --> 00:00:56.039 the Mirror newspaper understands Tim Dillon's comedy. The headline Tim Dillon has slammed baby 14 00:00:56.079 --> 00:01:00.280 boomers as a selfish generation who refused to retire. He was on the Diary 15 00:01:00.359 --> 00:01:06.400 of a CEO podcast, Dylan called boomers very sick people and called millennials a 16 00:01:06.480 --> 00:01:08.719 crap generation and want would be patted on the back for everything. He then 17 00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:12.680 targeted Gen z as he claimed they should be drafted into wars so they can 18 00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:15.879 go die in Ukraine. Send you letters to Tim Dilon, not me. 19 00:01:17.400 --> 00:01:19.640 Tim said, I love the Boomers. They're a selfish generation. The state 20 00:01:19.680 --> 00:01:23.760 of the Boomers is they are these very powerful people who refuse to leave their 21 00:01:23.760 --> 00:01:26.519 mansions. They won't retire. They diminish their children by saying, I can't 22 00:01:26.519 --> 00:01:29.599 believe you canto in something like this. They like holding these houses over the 23 00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:32.760 kid's head. They're very sick people. They're refuse to give up their jobs. 24 00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:34.560 They're emotional terrorists. And I grew up with them, and they're very 25 00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:38.599 interesting people. They've proven the lie of the sixties. People thought they were 26 00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:41.719 progressive hippies. They were not. They were actually just selfish drug addicts. 27 00:01:41.760 --> 00:01:44.280 They just wanted to get high and roll around in the mud. He then 28 00:01:44.319 --> 00:01:47.920 called them the funniest generation that ever lived. Nobody is funnier because to be 29 00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:51.079 funny you kind of have to not care. No one has cared less about 30 00:01:51.079 --> 00:01:53.120 the future of this planet or the future of their children, about anything but 31 00:01:53.159 --> 00:01:57.040 the boomers. Then he called them millennials a crap generation where they're like pinametal 32 00:01:57.079 --> 00:01:59.879 on me, put a ribbon on me. I'm right. I went to 33 00:01:59.879 --> 00:02:01.280 the college, I got the right internship, I believe the right things. 34 00:02:01.319 --> 00:02:06.239 I tweeted the right thing, I have the right politics. Millennials are these 35 00:02:06.319 --> 00:02:09.039 kind of ambitious people that want to constantly be patted on the back told how 36 00:02:09.080 --> 00:02:12.400 great they are. He switched to gen Z, and while he did have 37 00:02:12.439 --> 00:02:15.120 some kind of things to say about them, he's still went after them. 38 00:02:15.479 --> 00:02:19.680 He said, gen Z, your self starter is very skeptical of institutions and 39 00:02:19.719 --> 00:02:23.719 cynical. That's some of their positive qualities. They're more negative qualities are the 40 00:02:23.840 --> 00:02:27.120 murder, filming murders and fentonyl vapes and we need a draft. To be 41 00:02:27.159 --> 00:02:29.840 honest, young people should just go into the military. No, that's going 42 00:02:29.879 --> 00:02:31.280 to be a controversial thing to say. But if they're just going to do 43 00:02:31.319 --> 00:02:35.240 fentanyl and attack each other in malls and put it on TikTok, they can 44 00:02:35.280 --> 00:02:38.159 go diye in Ukraine. Send your letters to Tim Dillon Again, I haven't 45 00:02:38.199 --> 00:02:42.919 heard this yet, but I'm guessing Tim was joking and doing the type of 46 00:02:42.960 --> 00:02:45.759 material he does on his podcast. But as I've been saying all along, 47 00:02:45.800 --> 00:02:47.439 at some point, I'm going to distance myself from Tim Dillon be Like I 48 00:02:47.520 --> 00:02:51.439 never said Tim was funny. He's horrible, but he hasn't been canceled yet, 49 00:02:51.479 --> 00:02:54.560 so for now, he's funny. Someone on Twitter said hating everyone because 50 00:02:54.639 --> 00:02:58.439 hate. Another said boomers are far from selfish. They're go up to be 51 00:02:58.479 --> 00:03:01.319 hard workers with morals and ethics passed down by their parents. Joe Rogan on 52 00:03:01.360 --> 00:03:05.879 his podcast said, I can't remember time in my life where things seemed so 53 00:03:06.120 --> 00:03:09.479 unhinged. He feels like things could go sideways. What's terrifying is if you're 54 00:03:09.479 --> 00:03:13.280 willing to let's just say, what Israel's doing to Gaza, If you're willing 55 00:03:13.280 --> 00:03:15.360 to almost eliminate a city, just bomb the f out of a city and 56 00:03:15.439 --> 00:03:19.080 kill who knows how many innocents? What is it? What are the numbers? 57 00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:21.439 Is thirty thousand? I don't know what the numbers are. What's the 58 00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:23.199 line that keeps you from dropping a nuke that kills three hundred thousand? What's 59 00:03:23.240 --> 00:03:27.199 the line? Why do we have this idea won't accelerate to that when it 60 00:03:27.240 --> 00:03:30.879 has in the past. Is it because we only did it once in Japan 61 00:03:30.919 --> 00:03:34.479 in nineteen forty five? Is that what it is? Mark Marin has Carol 62 00:03:34.479 --> 00:03:38.560 Burnett on his podcast today, I'm looking forward to that. Kristin Wigg hosted 63 00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:43.719 SNL and joined the Five Timers Club and joked, it's not even that special. 64 00:03:44.039 --> 00:03:46.240 E w wrote, you know what. She's right. There was a 65 00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:49.759 time when the show's rituals like joining the Five Timers Club carried a degree of 66 00:03:49.800 --> 00:03:53.680 fun, if not exactly wait, but today's rudderless, leaderless era, these 67 00:03:53.719 --> 00:03:55.800 elements of the show have become just so perfunctory. I know it, you 68 00:03:55.879 --> 00:03:59.719 know what. The show clearly knows it, the comedy equivalent of decades of 69 00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:03.280 scar tissue in cartilage. The show's habits and superficial fan service increasingly challenged the 70 00:04:03.439 --> 00:04:08.159 entire purpose of being a live comedy show. As it approach is fifty, 71 00:04:08.520 --> 00:04:12.960 it's never been clear that SNL may need some profound rejiggering or revamping to capture 72 00:04:13.280 --> 00:04:16.120 that danger that made it a cultural institution in the first place. Bill Mohre 73 00:04:16.360 --> 00:04:20.199 had met friend on the show. A lot of people like met friends. 74 00:04:20.319 --> 00:04:24.879 Trump impression. It's okay, but I think there's better ones. Let's listen. 75 00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:30.879 You remember that time I met you in the in the club Mombaugh in 76 00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:35.000 New York. Do you remember that president? Okay, Well, Moomba is 77 00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:39.639 a great place. It sounds like the name of an African American in the 78 00:04:39.720 --> 00:04:44.360 NBA. This is Mumbai, number seventeen on the Lakers. Mumba. Remember 79 00:04:44.360 --> 00:04:48.199 it was on Seventh Avenue Downtown. It was the spot. I mean, 80 00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:51.360 I wasn't surprised that you were there. Well, actually I actually created Mumba. 81 00:04:51.399 --> 00:04:55.199 It was a great place. I invented Mumba. Well, Moomba is 82 00:04:55.240 --> 00:04:58.240 a great friend of mine. I know the guy Mumba very well. Mumba. 83 00:04:58.639 --> 00:05:00.399 He was in that great movie Coming to America, which was great with 84 00:05:00.519 --> 00:05:05.480 Eddie Murphy Moomba Surphy. But mount Boomba is a smart and tough guy, 85 00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:10.600 right, He's a tough guy. Okay. Magazine got my attention with the 86 00:05:10.639 --> 00:05:15.959 headline drunk, washed up. Comedian Roseanne Barr mocked for unhinged rent during Carrie 87 00:05:15.040 --> 00:05:19.560 Lake's fundraiser at Mara a Lago. Barr released a statement ahead of the event, 88 00:05:19.639 --> 00:05:23.319 who wrote, on my way to Mara Lago to help support the great 89 00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:26.199 Cararie Lake. We must try to vote our way out of this for at 90 00:05:26.240 --> 00:05:30.680 least one year, and if that doesn't work hashtag seventeen seventy six. I 91 00:05:30.720 --> 00:05:33.800 assume that is enthusiasm for the wonderful restaurant, Morristown, New Jersey. A 92 00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:38.279 video of Bar showed up on Twitter, where Barr says, so, I'm 93 00:05:38.279 --> 00:05:40.439 just going to say to you, please drop out of college because it's going 94 00:05:40.480 --> 00:05:43.480 to ruin your lives. Do me a favorite dropout. They don't teach you 95 00:05:43.519 --> 00:05:46.759 nothing good. Email me or Twitter me or whatever you call me, and 96 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:49.199 I'll help you with your life. But you got to get out of college 97 00:05:49.199 --> 00:05:54.160 because it is nothing but a bunch of devil worshiping, baby blood drinking Democrat 98 00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:59.120 donors. Several social media users shared the clip and compared her to the drunk 99 00:05:59.120 --> 00:06:05.279 anted family that makes everyone uncomfortable. All right, my voice is going to 100 00:06:05.319 --> 00:06:09.839 give out, and I have to record Tuesday as well because I'm goofing off 101 00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:13.879 today with the eclipse. Let me tell you real quick. Lonely Island they're 102 00:06:13.879 --> 00:06:16.279 coming out with a podcast. I was excited about it, but maybe maybe 103 00:06:16.279 --> 00:06:20.079 it'll just be okay. The podcast is out today. Seth Myers is involved 104 00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:24.600 with this. It is a podcast geared toward breaking down each of the Lonely 105 00:06:24.639 --> 00:06:28.519 Island digital shorts in chronological order, along with the backstory about what else was 106 00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:30.680 going on behind the scenes of SNL that week. It's called The Lonely Island 107 00:06:30.720 --> 00:06:35.199 and Seth Meyers podcast out today and let me save my voice. I'll play 108 00:06:35.199 --> 00:06:40.759 a bunch of clips from the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Harry Jin's show is called 109 00:06:40.800 --> 00:06:44.800 Watermelon Licking. Let's listen. I'm Harry John and I'm Harry John and we're 110 00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:47.839 touring our new stand up comedy slash cartoon show, Watermelon Licking, all over 111 00:06:47.879 --> 00:06:53.160 Australia. The name watermelon linking is based on a Korean proverb licking the outside 112 00:06:53.199 --> 00:06:56.680 of a watermelon. And it'll be about karreane culture as well some other silly 113 00:06:56.720 --> 00:06:59.959 stuff, ah, Korean stuff. Did you know that Korea has the lowest 114 00:07:00.079 --> 00:07:04.680 birthright in the world. Well, you can either cry or you can laugh. 115 00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:11.839 True, we don't know why we say ittle little all right, that's 116 00:07:11.879 --> 00:07:15.959 okay. He's charismatic. Maybe not the best clip, but he's charismatic. 117 00:07:15.319 --> 00:07:19.720 Simon Teelor's show was called Big Time The Adelaide, Advertiser, Glamor, Adelaide, 118 00:07:19.720 --> 00:07:23.639 and the Age all gave it five stars. And here's a clip of 119 00:07:23.720 --> 00:07:26.519 him on the Tonight Show, so it must be pretty good. Let's see, 120 00:07:26.839 --> 00:07:30.519 Hello, this is fun. The last fun thing I did before I 121 00:07:30.560 --> 00:07:35.879 came to America was I played monopoly with my parents. But they play monopoly 122 00:07:35.879 --> 00:07:39.759 by the modern rules. Do you know the modern rules of monopoly? That's 123 00:07:39.800 --> 00:07:44.600 where my parents start with all the property and I just wait for them to 124 00:07:44.759 --> 00:07:51.720 die because they're boomers. They're so condescending me, Like, well, if 125 00:07:51.759 --> 00:07:55.959 you want to get into the housing market, millennials, maybe you should stop 126 00:07:56.000 --> 00:08:01.480 eating all that avocado on toast. How dare Let's do the math for the 127 00:08:01.519 --> 00:08:07.720 boomers. Okay, twenty five bucks a pop for smashed avocado eggs coffee. 128 00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:09.319 You do that four times a month, that's one hundred bucks a month. 129 00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:13.279 That's twelve hundred bucks a year. So if I want to put a deposit 130 00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:16.839 on a house in an inner city suburb, I have to stop eating avocado 131 00:08:16.920 --> 00:08:26.279 toast for twenty to thirty thousand years. There's no way into the marga for 132 00:08:26.360 --> 00:08:31.600 my generation. They don't cater auctions to millennials. There's no auction here going. 133 00:08:31.759 --> 00:08:35.559 All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the auction just for the 134 00:08:35.639 --> 00:08:39.639 under thirty fives here today, just for the millennials here in the beautiful suburb 135 00:08:39.840 --> 00:08:45.960 of Outer Outer Manhattan, Kansas. We're in Kansas. Should have just said 136 00:08:45.960 --> 00:08:48.960 that fantastic. I like him a lot. All right, Let's see one 137 00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:52.399 more Dean Simpson and his dad. This show is called The King, and 138 00:08:52.440 --> 00:08:58.399 I so maad, thank you so much. I love it. I get 139 00:08:58.440 --> 00:09:03.200 this question a lot. Okay. So both my parents are Aboriginal. Yeah, 140 00:09:03.240 --> 00:09:13.159 that's and I know I don't look you know. That's why what happened 141 00:09:13.639 --> 00:09:16.000 is that my granddad on my mom's side was a white fellow. Yep. 142 00:09:16.120 --> 00:09:26.799 So I don't know how that makes me Indian, but you lot adamant that 143 00:09:26.840 --> 00:09:33.159 I am. The thing is is that I'm the lightest in my family right 144 00:09:33.320 --> 00:09:39.000 the I'm the youngest in my generation, and I'm the dad Reckons. The 145 00:09:39.080 --> 00:09:43.600 Texter just ran out of color, you know what I mean. Like it's 146 00:09:43.639 --> 00:09:48.480 crazy. My eldest brother black, like he's dark. He's rule back. 147 00:09:48.559 --> 00:09:52.799 They call him Midnight, that's how black he is. He calls me seven 148 00:09:52.879 --> 00:10:01.000 thirty. He's Dean Simpson. I like him a alright, let me save 149 00:10:01.080 --> 00:10:03.960 my voice and wrap it up here today. That's your comedy news. If 150 00:10:03.960 --> 00:10:05.080 you enjoy the show, tell a friend about it. See you tomorrow, 151 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:05.759 Happy eclipse.