Callaroga Shark Media, have me a clips day. I'm Chuckie Mack with your
daily comedy news. I just recorded an episode of five Good News Stories,
Number five Good News Stories, and the first story there is all about the
eclipse. If you'd like some eclipse fun facts. Did you see the moon
is getting its own time zone? Stephen Colbert joked it'll be great for anyone
who needs an excuse to day drink. Hey, it's moon o'clock somewhere.
Jimmy Kimmel said, this sounds like a fake project Trump would have given Mike
Pence to keep him busy. Seth Myers said, in honor of the solar
eclipse, Krispy Kreme is offering a glazed donut that's dipped in black chocolate icing
and top lit sprinkles, buttercream frosting, and an oriole that is true the
joke. After a dozen of those, you will also block out the sun.
I have no voice today. I don't know why. I don't think
the Mirror newspaper understands Tim Dillon's comedy. The headline Tim Dillon has slammed baby
boomers as a selfish generation who refused to retire. He was on the Diary
of a CEO podcast, Dylan called boomers very sick people and called millennials a
crap generation and want would be patted on the back for everything. He then
targeted Gen z as he claimed they should be drafted into wars so they can
go die in Ukraine. Send you letters to Tim Dilon, not me.
Tim said, I love the Boomers. They're a selfish generation. The state
of the Boomers is they are these very powerful people who refuse to leave their
mansions. They won't retire. They diminish their children by saying, I can't
believe you canto in something like this. They like holding these houses over the
kid's head. They're very sick people. They're refuse to give up their jobs.
They're emotional terrorists. And I grew up with them, and they're very
interesting people. They've proven the lie of the sixties. People thought they were
progressive hippies. They were not. They were actually just selfish drug addicts.
They just wanted to get high and roll around in the mud. He then
called them the funniest generation that ever lived. Nobody is funnier because to be
funny you kind of have to not care. No one has cared less about
the future of this planet or the future of their children, about anything but
the boomers. Then he called them millennials a crap generation where they're like pinametal
on me, put a ribbon on me. I'm right. I went to
the college, I got the right internship, I believe the right things.
I tweeted the right thing, I have the right politics. Millennials are these
kind of ambitious people that want to constantly be patted on the back told how
great they are. He switched to gen Z, and while he did have
some kind of things to say about them, he's still went after them.
He said, gen Z, your self starter is very skeptical of institutions and
cynical. That's some of their positive qualities. They're more negative qualities are the
murder, filming murders and fentonyl vapes and we need a draft. To be
honest, young people should just go into the military. No, that's going
to be a controversial thing to say. But if they're just going to do
fentanyl and attack each other in malls and put it on TikTok, they can
go diye in Ukraine. Send your letters to Tim Dillon Again, I haven't
heard this yet, but I'm guessing Tim was joking and doing the type of
material he does on his podcast. But as I've been saying all along,
at some point, I'm going to distance myself from Tim Dillon be Like I
never said Tim was funny. He's horrible, but he hasn't been canceled yet,
so for now, he's funny. Someone on Twitter said hating everyone because
hate. Another said boomers are far from selfish. They're go up to be
hard workers with morals and ethics passed down by their parents. Joe Rogan on
his podcast said, I can't remember time in my life where things seemed so
unhinged. He feels like things could go sideways. What's terrifying is if you're
willing to let's just say, what Israel's doing to Gaza, If you're willing
to almost eliminate a city, just bomb the f out of a city and
kill who knows how many innocents? What is it? What are the numbers?
Is thirty thousand? I don't know what the numbers are. What's the
line that keeps you from dropping a nuke that kills three hundred thousand? What's
the line? Why do we have this idea won't accelerate to that when it
has in the past. Is it because we only did it once in Japan
in nineteen forty five? Is that what it is? Mark Marin has Carol
Burnett on his podcast today, I'm looking forward to that. Kristin Wigg hosted
SNL and joined the Five Timers Club and joked, it's not even that special.
E w wrote, you know what. She's right. There was a
time when the show's rituals like joining the Five Timers Club carried a degree of
fun, if not exactly wait, but today's rudderless, leaderless era, these
elements of the show have become just so perfunctory. I know it, you
know what. The show clearly knows it, the comedy equivalent of decades of
scar tissue in cartilage. The show's habits and superficial fan service increasingly challenged the
entire purpose of being a live comedy show. As it approach is fifty,
it's never been clear that SNL may need some profound rejiggering or revamping to capture
that danger that made it a cultural institution in the first place. Bill Mohre
had met friend on the show. A lot of people like met friends.
Trump impression. It's okay, but I think there's better ones. Let's listen.
You remember that time I met you in the in the club Mombaugh in
New York. Do you remember that president? Okay, Well, Moomba is
a great place. It sounds like the name of an African American in the
NBA. This is Mumbai, number seventeen on the Lakers. Mumba. Remember
it was on Seventh Avenue Downtown. It was the spot. I mean,
I wasn't surprised that you were there. Well, actually I actually created Mumba.
It was a great place. I invented Mumba. Well, Moomba is
a great friend of mine. I know the guy Mumba very well. Mumba.
He was in that great movie Coming to America, which was great with
Eddie Murphy Moomba Surphy. But mount Boomba is a smart and tough guy,
right, He's a tough guy. Okay. Magazine got my attention with the
headline drunk, washed up. Comedian Roseanne Barr mocked for unhinged rent during Carrie
Lake's fundraiser at Mara a Lago. Barr released a statement ahead of the event,
who wrote, on my way to Mara Lago to help support the great
Cararie Lake. We must try to vote our way out of this for at
least one year, and if that doesn't work hashtag seventeen seventy six. I
assume that is enthusiasm for the wonderful restaurant, Morristown, New Jersey. A
video of Bar showed up on Twitter, where Barr says, so, I'm
just going to say to you, please drop out of college because it's going
to ruin your lives. Do me a favorite dropout. They don't teach you
nothing good. Email me or Twitter me or whatever you call me, and
I'll help you with your life. But you got to get out of college
because it is nothing but a bunch of devil worshiping, baby blood drinking Democrat
donors. Several social media users shared the clip and compared her to the drunk
anted family that makes everyone uncomfortable. All right, my voice is going to
give out, and I have to record Tuesday as well because I'm goofing off
today with the eclipse. Let me tell you real quick. Lonely Island they're
coming out with a podcast. I was excited about it, but maybe maybe
it'll just be okay. The podcast is out today. Seth Myers is involved
with this. It is a podcast geared toward breaking down each of the Lonely
Island digital shorts in chronological order, along with the backstory about what else was
going on behind the scenes of SNL that week. It's called The Lonely Island
and Seth Meyers podcast out today and let me save my voice. I'll play
a bunch of clips from the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Harry Jin's show is called
Watermelon Licking. Let's listen. I'm Harry John and I'm Harry John and we're
touring our new stand up comedy slash cartoon show, Watermelon Licking, all over
Australia. The name watermelon linking is based on a Korean proverb licking the outside
of a watermelon. And it'll be about karreane culture as well some other silly
stuff, ah, Korean stuff. Did you know that Korea has the lowest
birthright in the world. Well, you can either cry or you can laugh.
True, we don't know why we say ittle little all right, that's
okay. He's charismatic. Maybe not the best clip, but he's charismatic.
Simon Teelor's show was called Big Time The Adelaide, Advertiser, Glamor, Adelaide,
and the Age all gave it five stars. And here's a clip of
him on the Tonight Show, so it must be pretty good. Let's see,
Hello, this is fun. The last fun thing I did before I
came to America was I played monopoly with my parents. But they play monopoly
by the modern rules. Do you know the modern rules of monopoly? That's
where my parents start with all the property and I just wait for them to
die because they're boomers. They're so condescending me, Like, well, if
you want to get into the housing market, millennials, maybe you should stop
eating all that avocado on toast. How dare Let's do the math for the
boomers. Okay, twenty five bucks a pop for smashed avocado eggs coffee.
You do that four times a month, that's one hundred bucks a month.
That's twelve hundred bucks a year. So if I want to put a deposit
on a house in an inner city suburb, I have to stop eating avocado
toast for twenty to thirty thousand years. There's no way into the marga for
my generation. They don't cater auctions to millennials. There's no auction here going.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the auction just for the
under thirty fives here today, just for the millennials here in the beautiful suburb
of Outer Outer Manhattan, Kansas. We're in Kansas. Should have just said
that fantastic. I like him a lot. All right, Let's see one
more Dean Simpson and his dad. This show is called The King, and
I so maad, thank you so much. I love it. I get
this question a lot. Okay. So both my parents are Aboriginal. Yeah,
that's and I know I don't look you know. That's why what happened
is that my granddad on my mom's side was a white fellow. Yep.
So I don't know how that makes me Indian, but you lot adamant that
I am. The thing is is that I'm the lightest in my family right
the I'm the youngest in my generation, and I'm the dad Reckons. The
Texter just ran out of color, you know what I mean. Like it's
crazy. My eldest brother black, like he's dark. He's rule back.
They call him Midnight, that's how black he is. He calls me seven
thirty. He's Dean Simpson. I like him a alright, let me save
my voice and wrap it up here today. That's your comedy news. If
you enjoy the show, tell a friend about it. See you tomorrow,
Happy eclipse.