WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:02.919 Hi, everyone, Welcome back to the podcast episode. My name is Alicia 2 00:00:02.960 --> 00:00:06.280 Gogin, the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, where I help you expand 3 00:00:06.280 --> 00:00:09.119 your mind and become more self aware so that you can glow up into the 4 00:00:09.119 --> 00:00:15.199 best version of yourself. Guys, I am back in my office. How 5 00:00:15.240 --> 00:00:18.760 are we doing. I'm so glad to be back. And I know if 6 00:00:18.760 --> 00:00:22.600 you're listening on Spotify or Apple then you won't know. But I am inside 7 00:00:22.679 --> 00:00:26.519 my office and listen. I told you guys when I left, we're gonna 8 00:00:26.519 --> 00:00:29.079 be working on this corner here. We're going to be doing that. We're 9 00:00:29.120 --> 00:00:33.640 gonna be putting that on the list to work towards something, to get something. 10 00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:37.520 I don't know during August, okay, but I am super happy to 11 00:00:37.520 --> 00:00:41.039 be back. If you guys did not know, I was in Calgary, 12 00:00:41.079 --> 00:00:45.719 I went to the Calgary Stampede. Had an amazing time. I stayed probably 13 00:00:45.719 --> 00:00:50.280 like technically almost two weeks after the Stampede, or like a week and a 14 00:00:50.359 --> 00:00:56.320 half. It was great. I did get sick though, basically in the 15 00:00:56.320 --> 00:01:00.719 middle of the Stampede week me and all my friends did so unfortunately, and 16 00:01:00.759 --> 00:01:04.719 then it just I literally am only now just getting better I haven't been sick 17 00:01:04.760 --> 00:01:07.799 for that long. But I understand why I was sick because honestly, like 18 00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:14.000 I was out of my routine. I wasn't sleeping the best I had party, 19 00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:18.200 Like, I can't even be mad at my body for not being well. 20 00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:22.400 But with that, I wasn't able to do as much as I kind 21 00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:26.680 of wanted to. I was there with somebody who's very special in my life, 22 00:01:26.840 --> 00:01:30.879 but we didn't even get to do as much as I wanted to because 23 00:01:30.920 --> 00:01:34.079 I wasn't feeling good. And you know, he had his own things that 24 00:01:34.120 --> 00:01:38.439 he was doing because he actually lives in Calgary. So yeah, I just 25 00:01:38.719 --> 00:01:40.799 I still had a great time though, Like I did try to go to 26 00:01:40.799 --> 00:01:44.959 coffee shops. I did try and walk around a lot. I wanted to 27 00:01:45.040 --> 00:01:47.239 go see the mountains. I wanted to do a lot more things. But 28 00:01:47.359 --> 00:01:49.480 you know what, we can go back. Okay, we can totally go 29 00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:53.359 back. I went to a football game, which was really fun. I 30 00:01:53.439 --> 00:01:56.760 haven't actually been I don't think I've ever been to a football game. We'll 31 00:01:56.760 --> 00:01:59.480 actually know that to lie. My dad used to play football a long time 32 00:01:59.519 --> 00:02:02.840 ago viously when he was alive, when I was like really really young, 33 00:02:04.280 --> 00:02:07.560 and I would go and watch. But I've never really been to football game 34 00:02:07.560 --> 00:02:08.719 like this, so it was really fun. I'm super happy that I had 35 00:02:08.759 --> 00:02:13.800 my Coastal calgro summer. And now, guys, I have a new listen. 36 00:02:14.400 --> 00:02:16.080 I have a new phase right now that I'm going through, and it 37 00:02:16.159 --> 00:02:20.719 is the Summer I Turn Pretty Summer. Okay, I have been watching, 38 00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:23.319 well, I watched all of season one of The Summer I Turn Pretty, 39 00:02:23.680 --> 00:02:27.719 and I'm a season two. A lot of you guys have asked me to 40 00:02:27.759 --> 00:02:30.599 talk about it and maybe like do a review. It's not going to be 41 00:02:30.599 --> 00:02:35.960 in this episode because I want to finish season two, but I have lots 42 00:02:35.960 --> 00:02:39.439 of thoughts and one thing I will say about the Summer I Turn Pretty is 43 00:02:40.039 --> 00:02:46.360 I didn't realize how much I resonated with the actual title of the Summer I 44 00:02:46.479 --> 00:02:50.840 Turned Pretty. There was a moment in time in my life where I basically 45 00:02:50.840 --> 00:02:53.719 turned a pretty. I basically became the girl that I was trying to work 46 00:02:53.719 --> 00:03:00.360 towards for so long. And some of the first episodes of this season, 47 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:04.680 when people start recognizing her beauty and being like, Wow, she's so beautiful, 48 00:03:04.759 --> 00:03:07.680 or her parents are realizing how the girl she's growing up and just like 49 00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:09.560 all of these things and all the attentions that you start to get when you 50 00:03:09.639 --> 00:03:15.560 kind of grow into your own I really experienced that, and it was interesting 51 00:03:15.599 --> 00:03:16.599 to kind of like see that and be like, WHOA, that was a 52 00:03:16.639 --> 00:03:21.680 phase in my life that happened to me. And I think that I've talked 53 00:03:21.719 --> 00:03:24.039 about this before. Actually I made a YouTube video a long time ago, 54 00:03:24.520 --> 00:03:29.280 and I was talking about how to stop seeking external validation. And I remember 55 00:03:29.400 --> 00:03:31.520 the time when I used to be on Instagram and I would post photos and 56 00:03:31.560 --> 00:03:35.400 I just wanted guys to like my photos and I just wanted attention. And 57 00:03:35.800 --> 00:03:38.599 you know, like I started really becoming a very pretty girl, and I 58 00:03:38.639 --> 00:03:43.919 started getting a lot of attention from guys who never really gave me attention when 59 00:03:43.960 --> 00:03:46.280 I wasn't let's say, super pretty. I think I actually was always pretty, 60 00:03:46.400 --> 00:03:49.240 but I just didn't believe it. And then I just, you know, 61 00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:52.199 you have that weird phase that you go through. And it's interesting because 62 00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:57.199 I think when you're younger, all you want is to be pretty and hot 63 00:03:57.199 --> 00:04:00.280 and everyone like you. And then when I got that, I really lies 64 00:04:00.439 --> 00:04:03.280 that the attention that I was getting from the people who were giving me that 65 00:04:03.759 --> 00:04:06.280 praise half the time, or majority of the time, it wasn't even the 66 00:04:06.360 --> 00:04:10.120 right attention. Of course, I get people who say that I'm pretty now, 67 00:04:10.199 --> 00:04:12.840 but even they used to say that I was pretty when I was younger, 68 00:04:13.560 --> 00:04:15.360 and there was no ill intention, but I just realized that I was 69 00:04:15.439 --> 00:04:20.160 chasing the want and need to be pretty and perfect and hot and all these 70 00:04:20.199 --> 00:04:25.959 things from people who just like weren't even healthy for me anyways, And so 71 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:30.000 it just brought me back into a time of graduating high school, like into 72 00:04:30.040 --> 00:04:32.040 college. College. I would say the college is when the Summer I turned 73 00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:35.920 pretty type of vibe I went through. But anyways, that is as total 74 00:04:35.920 --> 00:04:40.720 side note, but I just love the aesthetic. This is another thing I 75 00:04:40.759 --> 00:04:42.879 guess I want to go on a rant. Guys. Sorry by the way, 76 00:04:42.920 --> 00:04:46.839 if you guys don't like rants, but you know it's the podcast. 77 00:04:46.079 --> 00:04:50.920 But the Summer I Turned Pretty esthetic really just vibes with me because I remember 78 00:04:50.959 --> 00:04:56.560 when I used to be super obsessed with Tumbler. I was a tumbler girly, 79 00:04:56.600 --> 00:05:00.399 okay, And the type of blog I had when I was younger and 80 00:05:00.480 --> 00:05:04.439 on Tumbler was all about the beach, like the beach life, like living 81 00:05:04.439 --> 00:05:08.800 in a bikini, like going to the water, like long hair, tan 82 00:05:08.839 --> 00:05:11.519 skin, all that kind of stuff. And although the Summer I turned Pretty 83 00:05:11.519 --> 00:05:14.920 Aesthetic is not necessarily just about the beach, but it's like a beach house, 84 00:05:15.040 --> 00:05:17.720 like everything happens in summer, like summer vibes. I was always so 85 00:05:17.759 --> 00:05:21.439 obsessed with summer when I was younger in high school, I always worked towards 86 00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:24.639 having like a bikini body, which is also not a good thing, by 87 00:05:24.680 --> 00:05:27.279 the way, but I'm just saying like I was super obsessed with wanting to 88 00:05:27.319 --> 00:05:30.160 just be like super pretty and hot and fun and summer and just in general, 89 00:05:30.199 --> 00:05:34.000 summer is always so like super fun. So I just remember having a 90 00:05:34.040 --> 00:05:39.279 Tumbler page and I was just so obsessed with summer, and so the summer 91 00:05:39.279 --> 00:05:42.680 I turned Pretty Aesthetic just reminds me again of like how I used to be 92 00:05:42.759 --> 00:05:46.040 super obsessed with summer back in the day, and I'm loving it, and 93 00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:47.360 I'll go on Pinterest and I'll just scroll and just like look at all those 94 00:05:47.360 --> 00:05:51.279 photos and it just just like, partly it's nostalgic, but partly like it 95 00:05:51.360 --> 00:05:55.000 wasn't healthy the way that I was super obsessed with summer, because it was 96 00:05:55.079 --> 00:05:59.199 a lot of I had a lot of like low self worth and confident issues 97 00:05:59.439 --> 00:06:03.720 around that. I didn't really actually experience having a good summer back then, 98 00:06:03.879 --> 00:06:08.839 because I only felt like I was ready for summer if I had a summer 99 00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:11.000 body, or if I was confident, or if I was pretty, and 100 00:06:11.079 --> 00:06:14.199 I never felt like I did. And honestly, guys, my book that 101 00:06:14.759 --> 00:06:17.639 will probably be coming out in January twenty twenty four, I start my book 102 00:06:17.680 --> 00:06:24.439 talking about my tumbler, my low self worth, trying to constantly change myself 103 00:06:24.480 --> 00:06:26.680 for summer, Like this is going to be heavily in my book, by 104 00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:30.959 the way. But I really love the esthetic and because it's always just been 105 00:06:30.079 --> 00:06:32.680 a part of me, Like I've always really love summer. So I feel 106 00:06:32.680 --> 00:06:38.120 like now that we've graduated from the coastal Calgo summer, we are done with 107 00:06:38.199 --> 00:06:40.720 that for now. We might go back to it, because you guys know, 108 00:06:40.759 --> 00:06:43.120 I really like I like low key want to be like a Texan, 109 00:06:43.240 --> 00:06:46.639 like I want to be like this western like housewife. I don't know it's 110 00:06:46.680 --> 00:06:49.240 an issue, but it's not really. I feel like now I'm just gonna 111 00:06:49.240 --> 00:06:53.519 have a summer I turn pretty summer, meaning I want to be reading more, 112 00:06:53.639 --> 00:06:56.040 I want to go to the beach more. I want to really just 113 00:06:56.639 --> 00:07:02.040 enjoy summer more. I think one thing that I kind of am realizing was 114 00:07:02.439 --> 00:07:04.959 it's not that I haven't been grateful for the things that I have in my 115 00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:11.079 life, but I think when I was working towards booking my trip to Calgary 116 00:07:11.240 --> 00:07:15.959 and like focusing on the Stampede and coastal Calgary on this that I kind of 117 00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:20.040 fell back on my love for my place that I have here now and living 118 00:07:20.040 --> 00:07:24.399 in Toronto and just all of the great things that I have in my life. 119 00:07:24.680 --> 00:07:27.480 And I feel like now that I'm back, I just really want to 120 00:07:27.519 --> 00:07:30.199 soak up summer and just like what I have right now, and like, 121 00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:34.920 I am super grateful and blessed. I've worked hard for what I have right 122 00:07:34.959 --> 00:07:40.000 now. I live very close to the water, and I have so much 123 00:07:40.279 --> 00:07:43.839 freedom to be able to go and like read and by the water in journal 124 00:07:43.879 --> 00:07:46.759 and do all of these fun summer return pretty things, So like why am 125 00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:50.000 I not doing that? And so That's where I'm at right now. So 126 00:07:50.040 --> 00:07:54.000 I'm going to have a summer return pretty summer, which I think I've said 127 00:07:54.000 --> 00:07:58.519 that probably eight thousand million times. I do recommend the show. They also 128 00:07:58.560 --> 00:08:01.680 obviously have a book. I have not read the book, but I don't 129 00:08:01.720 --> 00:08:07.079 know. I got a kindle, guys, I have been obsessed with book 130 00:08:07.120 --> 00:08:13.879 tube, Okay, recently I have been watching her name is Sarah Corrielle or 131 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:16.439 Cornell. I actually don't know, and I don't really want to pull up 132 00:08:16.439 --> 00:08:20.920 my phone right now, but I've been really liking her book tube videos and 133 00:08:20.040 --> 00:08:24.600 all the other girlies in that category. I had asked you guys on Instagram 134 00:08:24.680 --> 00:08:28.720 who your favorite book tube or like book TikTokers are, and you guys give 135 00:08:28.759 --> 00:08:31.120 me loads of people, so I still need to go. Look. That 136 00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:35.519 is something I fell into a deep dark hole while I was in Calgary and 137 00:08:35.559 --> 00:08:41.440 I was in bed basically very sick. So now I've been influenced to get 138 00:08:41.440 --> 00:08:45.200 a kindle. Actually I really did think about getting a kindle before I even 139 00:08:45.279 --> 00:08:48.759 left, but I did get one. I got the Kindle paper white Kindle. 140 00:08:48.799 --> 00:08:52.120 I don't know. I will have it linked in my Amazon And I've 141 00:08:52.159 --> 00:08:56.360 already been starting to read a book. It's about anxious attachment styles. But 142 00:08:56.440 --> 00:09:01.639 I do want to get like other books outside, just like self development. 143 00:09:01.679 --> 00:09:03.159 But I just started reading that today because I just wanted to read something and 144 00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:07.480 it was on my Kindle Limited and it's amazing. I'm already obsessed with it. 145 00:09:07.559 --> 00:09:09.879 I already love the fact that it's just like a small little thing and 146 00:09:09.879 --> 00:09:15.000 it's like one little screen and the lighting and you just don't have to hold 147 00:09:15.000 --> 00:09:16.120 a physical book and you have to flit the pages and if you want to 148 00:09:16.120 --> 00:09:20.320 move, I don't know. It's great, So I would recommend and I 149 00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:24.759 feel like that is going to help the plot of my summer. I turn 150 00:09:24.799 --> 00:09:28.120 pretty summer because like having a kindle, like why not? So yeah, 151 00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:31.279 we love that. Also, if you're watching on YouTube, this shirt is 152 00:09:31.360 --> 00:09:35.639 definitely my favorite shirt from the summer. It is. It's from Urban Outfitters. 153 00:09:35.679 --> 00:09:39.559 It is the most comfortable shirt I've ever had, like I've ever had, 154 00:09:39.639 --> 00:09:41.279 I swear. I will have that on my light to know it as 155 00:09:41.279 --> 00:09:46.039 well. If you guys are ever interested in anything that I wear, any 156 00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:48.639 makeup products like my favorite makeup products, any like book recommendations and stuff, 157 00:09:48.879 --> 00:09:52.759 I will have everything on my Life to know at page which is always linked 158 00:09:52.759 --> 00:09:56.720 in my descriptions and everywhere you can find anything. And my book recommendations are 159 00:09:56.759 --> 00:10:01.000 on Amazon, which I'll also have as well. So anyways, that was 160 00:10:01.120 --> 00:10:05.679 some updates. I have probably a million more. But while I was in 161 00:10:05.679 --> 00:10:09.759 Calgary, I was thinking, what should I have next week's podcast episode be 162 00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:11.320 about. We finished the summer glow Up series if You're New Year. We 163 00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:15.720 did a seven part series. You can go back and watch and listen and 164 00:10:15.799 --> 00:10:18.799 do all the things. It was great and inspired me to do a lot 165 00:10:18.840 --> 00:10:22.600 more series coming in the future. But I was scrolling on Pinterest, and 166 00:10:22.840 --> 00:10:26.879 I love Pinterest because it just really sparks simple ideas for me. I see 167 00:10:26.919 --> 00:10:30.320 like one quote and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is connected to 168 00:10:30.320 --> 00:10:31.399 this and this and this is what I'm going through, and oh my gosh, 169 00:10:31.440 --> 00:10:33.960 let me make a script and this is a podcast episode. By the 170 00:10:33.960 --> 00:10:37.519 way, if you guys ever asked, or if you ever wonder how I 171 00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:41.759 come up with podcast episodes from so many things, like things that are going 172 00:10:41.759 --> 00:10:45.840 on in my life, something that somebody said and it just clicked in my 173 00:10:45.879 --> 00:10:48.399 head and it just made my brain go like haywire and I'm like, oh 174 00:10:48.440 --> 00:10:52.639 my gosh, I canna make a whole episode about this. I get so 175 00:10:52.679 --> 00:10:56.120 many ideas from you guys when you guys ask questions. But like I said, 176 00:10:56.120 --> 00:11:00.200 while I was in Calgary, there was definitely things that I was experiencing 177 00:11:00.320 --> 00:11:03.840 like it wasn't. This is what happens to me a little bit of a 178 00:11:03.879 --> 00:11:07.639 tangent, but not really because it connects to this. I don't just experience 179 00:11:07.759 --> 00:11:11.679 life in the moment and in the present, which is an amazing thing to 180 00:11:11.720 --> 00:11:13.559 do, and I need to actually learn how to do more of it. 181 00:11:13.639 --> 00:11:16.879 I've always been the person that's always been in my head. I don't just 182 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:22.440 experience life, though, I learn from life. So I'm experiencing life and 183 00:11:22.519 --> 00:11:26.360 I'm in the moment, but I'm always learning a lesson. I'm always observing 184 00:11:26.440 --> 00:11:31.279 things. I'm always finding wisdom out of things, whether it's in the moment 185 00:11:31.399 --> 00:11:35.399 or not. There's always lessons that I'm learning. Sometimes I literally hate it, 186 00:11:35.759 --> 00:11:37.120 like sometimes, like I even told my friend this while I was in 187 00:11:37.120 --> 00:11:41.200 Calgary. I was like, I just want to be done learning lessons sometimes 188 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:43.080 and I just want to have what I want to have. But that's a 189 00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:46.840 whole tangent, and it's a victim mentality and like a lemiting belief, da 190 00:11:46.039 --> 00:11:50.879 da da, But whatever, I learned a lot of things, and I 191 00:11:50.960 --> 00:11:54.720 compiled a little bit of a list. I think there's like four or five 192 00:11:54.840 --> 00:11:58.440 things which I'll probably have in the title, but there are things that I've 193 00:11:58.480 --> 00:12:03.639 realized that I needed to let go. And I just think like some of 194 00:12:03.679 --> 00:12:05.639 the questions that you guys have been asking me and just things that I've been 195 00:12:05.639 --> 00:12:09.320 seeing online and just like in my reality, I think that this would be 196 00:12:09.360 --> 00:12:13.559 really good advice for you guys and even for me to hear always, and 197 00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:16.440 I think that we need to talk about it. So I came up with 198 00:12:16.440 --> 00:12:18.440 a list of things that you need to let go of today, and I 199 00:12:18.480 --> 00:12:22.320 think that you can come back to this list whenever you are feeling down, 200 00:12:22.440 --> 00:12:26.440 or whenever you feel like you're spiraling, or whenever you feel like life is 201 00:12:26.440 --> 00:12:28.279 not going your way. So the first thing that I think that you need 202 00:12:28.360 --> 00:12:35.559 to let go of today is the rejection state. So when you perceive something 203 00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:39.919 to not work out in your favor and highlighting the word perceive because it's really 204 00:12:39.919 --> 00:12:43.320 your perception. But when things don't work out in your life, you tend 205 00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:48.480 to move into a lower state of being, of being in an energy state, 206 00:12:48.600 --> 00:12:52.720 a feeling state, whatever, and that is usually a state of unworthiness, 207 00:12:52.759 --> 00:12:56.240 of self doubt, of fear. And the more that you feel like 208 00:12:56.279 --> 00:13:01.039 this, of course you're going to continue to manifest more things from this state 209 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:03.639 of being. And it's so understandable that when something doesn't work out in your 210 00:13:03.679 --> 00:13:07.759 life or you know something that you really want, you just see it's like 211 00:13:07.799 --> 00:13:13.440 slipping away or just whatever that you go into this state of feeling like crap 212 00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:16.799 about yourself or you're you know, you're in the fear of like am I 213 00:13:16.879 --> 00:13:20.440 ever going to get what I want? But honestly, being in this lowest 214 00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:24.919 state, being in this rejection state is a choice. And it's really hard 215 00:13:24.960 --> 00:13:28.879 for us to not feel like we are unworthy, or to doubt yourself, 216 00:13:30.039 --> 00:13:35.440 or to be afraid when you perceive something to not be going in your way. 217 00:13:35.559 --> 00:13:39.159 But I want you to start reframing the way that you look at rejection. 218 00:13:39.200 --> 00:13:41.240 And I know it can be really hard, but this is something that 219 00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:45.200 really really helps me. And I've gotten so much better at this. Like 220 00:13:45.240 --> 00:13:48.120 I remember the times when people would be like, rejection is redirection, this 221 00:13:48.200 --> 00:13:50.679 down the third and then you're like, no, no, it's not like 222 00:13:50.720 --> 00:13:52.840 I want this thing so badly. I want this thing so badly. But 223 00:13:54.440 --> 00:13:58.600 honestly, the more you hold on to things that aren't going well in your 224 00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:01.440 life, the more going to stay in that energy state. And the only 225 00:14:01.440 --> 00:14:03.960 way you really are going to get what you want in your life is to 226 00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:09.480 stop focusing on the thing that you don't have right now. And so when 227 00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:13.360 you feel like you are dropping low into that rejection state, you have to 228 00:14:13.399 --> 00:14:20.159 look at rejection as this is getting me closer to what I want in my 229 00:14:20.200 --> 00:14:24.559 life. This is the only thing that is happening right now. Rejection doesn't 230 00:14:24.600 --> 00:14:31.480 mean anything, an emphasis on the anything. It doesn't mean anything other than 231 00:14:31.559 --> 00:14:35.279 I am going to get closer to what I want in my life. And 232 00:14:35.480 --> 00:14:39.720 honestly, think about it. Think about this in relationships. Right when a 233 00:14:39.799 --> 00:14:43.120 relationship seems like it's not working out and it's like slipping out of your hands 234 00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:46.360 and like you know, somebody's walking away from you, or things are not 235 00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:50.919 working out the way that you want, this state of your relationship right now, 236 00:14:50.559 --> 00:14:56.159 guarantee you is not how it first started, right because if it was, 237 00:14:56.200 --> 00:14:58.960 then this wouldn't even be an issue. So there's probably like maybe there's 238 00:14:58.039 --> 00:15:01.919 arguments, or somebody's not showing up the way that you want, or you 239 00:15:01.960 --> 00:15:05.320 know, you're feeling like crap about yourself, or you know this person's mistreating 240 00:15:05.320 --> 00:15:09.679 you or whatever the situation is. So for you to look at let's say 241 00:15:09.720 --> 00:15:13.200 somebody walking away or a breakup or something that's happening that's undesirable as a bad 242 00:15:13.240 --> 00:15:18.759 thing is really the wrong way to look at it, because really you should 243 00:15:18.799 --> 00:15:22.519 be having the opposite of what's happening right now. You should be having a 244 00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:26.600 positive experience with this person. You should be having love and happiness and whatever, 245 00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:31.159 and you're not. So if that means that this needs to be a 246 00:15:31.200 --> 00:15:33.879 breakup, or this needs to be a walking away thing, or like whatever 247 00:15:33.919 --> 00:15:37.759 it is, that is only going to get you what you actually want in 248 00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:41.960 your life, because you staying in this crappy situation right now isn't going to 249 00:15:43.080 --> 00:15:46.639 get you there. If you stay in a relationship with somebody who's not treating 250 00:15:46.639 --> 00:15:50.879 you right, you are never going to actually have the relationship that you really 251 00:15:50.919 --> 00:15:54.399 want. So sometimes it takes the rejection, Sometimes it takes the breakup. 252 00:15:54.440 --> 00:15:58.919 Sometimes it takes something not working out for you in order for you to get 253 00:16:00.039 --> 00:16:03.279 what you actually want. And what I usually find is if it was actually 254 00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:07.440 meant for you right now, meaning you were in your self worth enough that 255 00:16:07.519 --> 00:16:12.200 you were getting exactly what you deserve in your life, there wouldn't be any 256 00:16:12.320 --> 00:16:15.759 rejection, there wouldn't be any loss. So it's in my belief that if 257 00:16:15.759 --> 00:16:21.360 there is loss, if there is rejection, it only just means somewhere, 258 00:16:21.519 --> 00:16:25.799 some way you were keeping small, Somewhere, some way you aren't getting your 259 00:16:25.840 --> 00:16:29.080 needs met. But this is the key when it comes to thinking this way 260 00:16:29.440 --> 00:16:33.600 of thinking, rejection is basically redirection, and rejection really just means that you're 261 00:16:33.639 --> 00:16:36.320 going to get what you want in your life. You're really only going to 262 00:16:36.360 --> 00:16:40.080 get what you want in your life, so like a better relationship or somebody 263 00:16:40.080 --> 00:16:42.000 to show up better in your life, or for you to get that opportunity 264 00:16:42.080 --> 00:16:45.399 or whatever it is that you're really wanting. If you think like this, 265 00:16:45.799 --> 00:16:51.279 if you don't think like this, if you don't look at something not working 266 00:16:51.320 --> 00:16:56.480 out as redirection as a positive outcome, you're not going to get a positive 267 00:16:56.480 --> 00:16:59.200 outcome because you're just going to think, oh no, see I don't get 268 00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:00.320 what I want, and you're going to stay in that low self worth. 269 00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:03.480 You're going to stay in the self doubt. You're going to be sad, 270 00:17:03.480 --> 00:17:07.200 you're gonna be depressed, you're gonna be whatever, and then you're not going 271 00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:10.680 to manifest things from that state, You're not going to be moving from that 272 00:17:11.000 --> 00:17:14.119 energy state of being like things are going to be working out for me, 273 00:17:14.359 --> 00:17:17.279 things are going to change. This that in the third So again to sum 274 00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:21.960 this up, you have the choice to not be in this rejection state. 275 00:17:22.400 --> 00:17:26.039 Being in the rejection state is a choice. At first, Yes, does 276 00:17:26.079 --> 00:17:27.599 it hurt, Yeah, for sure, you can be sad for a bit, 277 00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:32.079 But at the end of the day, you need to do your absolute 278 00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:36.319 best to mentally shift yourself out of this rejection state so that you can get 279 00:17:36.359 --> 00:17:40.119 what you want. And what helps me is when things don't go out in 280 00:17:40.160 --> 00:17:45.559 my life, I simply only literally only tell myself one thing, and that 281 00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:48.839 one thing is I'm going to get what I want. I am only this 282 00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:52.720 much closer to getting what I want. This does not mean I'm not getting 283 00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:56.039 to get what I want, and in fact, I'm actually going to get 284 00:17:56.079 --> 00:18:00.240 what I want out of even higher, better scale because obvious what I was 285 00:18:00.279 --> 00:18:04.200 accepting or what was going on right now wasn't even exactly what I wanted, 286 00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:07.039 because if it was, I wouldn't have lost it. Now. This leads 287 00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:11.400 into the next thing that you need to let go of, which is fixed 288 00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:17.599 thinking. You have to understand that everything is subject to change. And this 289 00:18:17.720 --> 00:18:21.480 is so hard for us to even think about because when we see something happening 290 00:18:21.480 --> 00:18:23.680 in our reality, let's say somebody is saying no to us, somebody is 291 00:18:23.720 --> 00:18:27.119 breaking up with us, somebody's saying they don't want us, somebody is saying 292 00:18:27.160 --> 00:18:32.119 like, you can't have that. Whatever it is. Whatever we see in 293 00:18:32.160 --> 00:18:36.519 our immediate three D reality, we take on as truth, which is understandable, 294 00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:41.400 but there are so many freaking things that play a role into why things 295 00:18:41.480 --> 00:18:45.880 happen or why people do certain things that you can't possibly look at everything and 296 00:18:45.920 --> 00:18:49.160 say it is fixed and nothing's ever going to change. You have to have 297 00:18:49.400 --> 00:18:53.519 a more optimistic mindset when it comes to people, places, and things in 298 00:18:53.559 --> 00:18:56.839 your life, honestly, because if not, then you're going to be back 299 00:18:56.839 --> 00:18:59.279 in that rejection state and you're going to feel like you could never get anything 300 00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:02.680 in your life and you're just gonna limit yourself. This is something I really 301 00:19:02.680 --> 00:19:04.559 really had to change about the way that I looked at the world as well, 302 00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:08.599 because when you look at something and it's a forever no, okay, 303 00:19:08.599 --> 00:19:11.319 well guess what, then you're never going to have what you want in your 304 00:19:11.319 --> 00:19:14.000 life. And we don't want to look at life like that. Understand that 305 00:19:14.079 --> 00:19:18.319 people change, Understand that opportunities change. Understand that literally, there are so 306 00:19:18.359 --> 00:19:23.319 many things happening in the background that you cannot even imagine that are going on 307 00:19:23.440 --> 00:19:27.839 right now that would make it so the universe could bring you what you want. 308 00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:33.160 And I think what can help you with moving from a fixed mindset to 309 00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:40.079 a more optimistic mindset is trying to show yourself ways that you have seen in 310 00:19:40.079 --> 00:19:41.960 your life that things have changed, even when you thought that they weren't going 311 00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:45.000 to change, when somebody said no to you but then they decided to say 312 00:19:45.079 --> 00:19:48.519 yes. When you thought something that wasn't going to work out but then ended 313 00:19:48.599 --> 00:19:52.319 up working out, when you thought that you wanted something and then you realize, 314 00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:56.000 no, actually I want this thing. I think a lot of us 315 00:19:56.079 --> 00:20:03.720 have a very unhealthy relationship with change because we've experienced it so poorly in childhood, 316 00:20:03.839 --> 00:20:08.519 especially if you have anxious attachment styles. And the best thing that I 317 00:20:08.599 --> 00:20:15.519 have done for myself is constantly trying to soothe myself in times of change and 318 00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:21.279 trying to remind myself that, let's say something did change and it wasn't necessarily 319 00:20:21.319 --> 00:20:23.680 in my favor, telling myself in that moment that things are going to be 320 00:20:23.720 --> 00:20:27.720 okay and something is going to change and bringing it back to the rejection state. 321 00:20:27.880 --> 00:20:32.640 This just means that I am going to get something better in my life, 322 00:20:32.680 --> 00:20:34.160 even if it does not feel like that right now, which it won't 323 00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:38.359 right It won't when you naturally when something changes that you thought that you wanted, 324 00:20:38.519 --> 00:20:41.279 or you think that you really want, or you still want right maybe 325 00:20:41.279 --> 00:20:45.440 you still really want that thing and it doesn't seem like it's working out right 326 00:20:45.480 --> 00:20:49.000 there. It feels like the world is falling apart. But it's going to 327 00:20:49.039 --> 00:20:52.839 be up to you to be your own best friend in that moment and remind 328 00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:56.839 yourself like you are still safe even when things seem like it's very chaotic or 329 00:20:56.240 --> 00:21:02.200 you can't understand why something is happening. Being emotionally regulated and you having an 330 00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:06.400 optimistic mindset about something that might not be working out for you right now is 331 00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:10.720 going to help you not only through this time. Because you become your own 332 00:21:10.720 --> 00:21:14.440 best friend and you emotionally regulate yourself and you're there for yourself, you will 333 00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:18.400 start to take action from a very healthy place even when things aren't working out 334 00:21:18.480 --> 00:21:21.599 the best in your life. And what you're really doing in this moment is 335 00:21:21.640 --> 00:21:25.319 you are becoming the change. And when you become the change, the outside 336 00:21:25.319 --> 00:21:29.160 world has nothing else that they can do other than conform to what you are. 337 00:21:29.440 --> 00:21:33.039 But what we usually do is something crappy happens, and we're so sad, 338 00:21:33.079 --> 00:21:34.839 and we wait for the things outside of us to make us feel good 339 00:21:34.920 --> 00:21:38.720 or outside of us to change before we can feel good. But what really 340 00:21:38.720 --> 00:21:42.200 need to do is focus on feeling good first, even when things are tough, 341 00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:45.640 which I know can be hard, but you have to reframe your mind 342 00:21:45.680 --> 00:21:48.079 about what is even happening in the first place. And when you take action 343 00:21:48.160 --> 00:21:52.200 from that place, that is when you become a match to the things that 344 00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:55.640 you really want. And usually when you take action, you take action from 345 00:21:55.680 --> 00:21:59.440 a very high standpoint, and then your standards are raised. You get better 346 00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:02.839 things in your life. You get better relationships, more money, more opportunities, 347 00:22:02.920 --> 00:22:04.559 more clarity of where you're even going in your life. But when you 348 00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:07.960 stay in this rejection state, when you stay in this fixed mindset, you're 349 00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:11.799 really just creating more suffering for yourself. And this leads into the third thing, 350 00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:17.920 which is letting your inner child run the show. So obviously, this 351 00:22:18.039 --> 00:22:22.160 just means we need to let go of letting our inner child run the show. 352 00:22:22.400 --> 00:22:27.839 So when something undesirable happens in your life, what really happens is you 353 00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:32.880 have a part of you that feels abandoned, that feels alone, that feels 354 00:22:32.880 --> 00:22:37.799 sad. You have a part of you that is experienced this feeling in childhood. 355 00:22:37.880 --> 00:22:38.920 And that is why I call it your inner child. It could be 356 00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:41.759 a million different parts whatever, you can call it whatever you want, but 357 00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:45.200 I call it the inner child. And so let's say, let's bring you 358 00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:48.559 back to a breakup because it's kind of really easy because I feel like everyone's 359 00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:52.079 gone through it and they can kind of like resonate with this. You tend 360 00:22:52.079 --> 00:22:55.119 to go an emotional roller coaster when things don't work out in your life or 361 00:22:55.160 --> 00:22:56.440 like something is happening, or let's say you're going through a breakup, like 362 00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:00.240 maybe you're stable for a bit and then all of a sudden, you have 363 00:23:00.440 --> 00:23:07.039 these thoughts and feelings come up of just sadness and abandonment or heartbroken, you 364 00:23:07.079 --> 00:23:10.920 know, all of those crappy feelings that you feel when you're going through something 365 00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:14.640 that is undesirable, And there's usually a big story around it, and you 366 00:23:14.680 --> 00:23:18.599 feel like your life is never going to get better, and you know again 367 00:23:18.680 --> 00:23:22.359 everything that you've had is lost and it's never going to come back again. 368 00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:26.119 That is really your what I like to call your inner child running the show. 369 00:23:26.480 --> 00:23:30.119 It wants to take control and it wants to bring some of the feelings 370 00:23:30.119 --> 00:23:34.319 that it might have felt sometime in childhood or even in your adulthood life. 371 00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:37.119 Like your inner child is always with you, right but your inner child is 372 00:23:37.160 --> 00:23:41.880 the one that's really feeling like she's not good enough, or she's left, 373 00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:45.160 or she's wrong, or she's bad, or she did something. Whatever, 374 00:23:45.400 --> 00:23:48.720 she's looking at, whatever is happening right now in her life, the rejected 375 00:23:48.799 --> 00:23:53.720 thing that's happened, or the negative outcome, she is taking it personally, 376 00:23:53.920 --> 00:24:00.240 and then she again is making you feel abandoned, low self worth, not 377 00:24:00.279 --> 00:24:03.559 worthy enough, whatever it is. And it can be hard, but this 378 00:24:03.640 --> 00:24:07.039 is really about emotionally regulating. And so what I like to do sometimes, 379 00:24:07.079 --> 00:24:11.880 and I've talked about this before, is like you want to kind of take 380 00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:15.279 your inner child's hand and take it off of the roller coaster. When you 381 00:24:15.319 --> 00:24:18.359 go through something that is undesirable, your inner child just wants to go on 382 00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:22.880 this emotional roller coaster wants to go all the way up into all the crazy 383 00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:25.640 emotions, and I wanted to drop back down and up and down again. 384 00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:29.599 Well, you, when you recognize that your inner child is constantly just coming 385 00:24:29.680 --> 00:24:32.799 in your mind and like infiltrating your mind, you want to be like, 386 00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:37.200 listen, little whatever, a little Alicia. I know you feel like this. 387 00:24:37.400 --> 00:24:40.400 I know you feel abandoned right now, but you're not actually abandoned right 388 00:24:40.440 --> 00:24:42.880 now. And quite frankly, what's happening right now just me as you're going 389 00:24:42.920 --> 00:24:45.599 to get what you really want in your life, which is more than what 390 00:24:45.640 --> 00:24:51.000 you got right now from this relationship or this circumstance or whatever it is. 391 00:24:51.119 --> 00:24:53.440 But you need to be the one, the adult self to take your inner 392 00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:57.640 child off that emotional roller coaster. It's not to say that your inner child 393 00:24:59.039 --> 00:25:03.240 can't express how she's feeling like you expressing how you're feeling and feeling sad, 394 00:25:03.319 --> 00:25:06.440 whatever. But at the end of the day, again coming back to what 395 00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:08.519 we really want in our life is to feel happy and whole and fulfilled. 396 00:25:08.759 --> 00:25:12.279 We want to have all of these great outcomes in our lives. We're not 397 00:25:12.319 --> 00:25:18.519 going to get that from being in this emotional state, taking everything so personally, 398 00:25:18.880 --> 00:25:22.079 truly telling ourselves that this is what we are going to get and we're 399 00:25:22.079 --> 00:25:25.000 not going to get anything else. It's not good. We don't need to 400 00:25:25.039 --> 00:25:27.440 be there. And so what I like to really tell myself is when my 401 00:25:27.440 --> 00:25:30.640 inner child is, you know, coming online, wanting to go on that 402 00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:36.160 emotional roller coaster, I just really recognize that this is a very young part 403 00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:38.160 of me that honestly just wants to keep me safe, right, just wants 404 00:25:38.200 --> 00:25:41.519 to remind me, like, hey, let's stay in this low self worth 405 00:25:41.559 --> 00:25:45.359 because this is where we were taught to be and we want to always be 406 00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:49.559 right about what we believe about ourselves. So let's just reinforce this feeling. 407 00:25:49.599 --> 00:25:52.319 Because see, like, of course we don't want to let ourselves down again 408 00:25:52.319 --> 00:25:55.759 by saying that we're actually great, We're really going to get told that we're 409 00:25:55.799 --> 00:25:56.640 not. We're really going to get hurt again, so we might as well 410 00:25:56.640 --> 00:26:00.480 just stay in this low state. I really just try to remind myself that, 411 00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:03.400 listen, this is my young self coming up right now. It is 412 00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:06.920 an old belief, it's a limiting belief. It is not the full picture. 413 00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:10.839 I did not come here on earth to feel this sad and to feel 414 00:26:10.839 --> 00:26:14.119 like I'm not pigged, and to feel like I'm not gonna win and love 415 00:26:14.559 --> 00:26:18.720 or have money or have these opportunities. It just doesn't make sense. And 416 00:26:18.759 --> 00:26:22.039 really, again, this is all coming from a place of you once in 417 00:26:22.039 --> 00:26:26.440 your life not getting what you had deserved, most likely in childhood. But 418 00:26:26.480 --> 00:26:29.559 you didn't deserve it then and you don't deserve it now. But it's going 419 00:26:29.640 --> 00:26:32.000 to be up to you to be able to be like, no, we 420 00:26:32.039 --> 00:26:36.400 are not going there. And when we're talking about inner child work, you 421 00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:40.559 have to understand that it's literally like an inn, like a little child within 422 00:26:40.680 --> 00:26:44.000 you. Okay, So if you've ever been around a child, you understand 423 00:26:44.319 --> 00:26:47.160 that you don't just tell the child once that things are going to be okay 424 00:26:47.160 --> 00:26:51.440 and they stop crying, okay, Especially when they're little babies. They cry 425 00:26:51.680 --> 00:26:53.359 and they cry again, and they cry again, and they cry again. 426 00:26:53.599 --> 00:26:57.480 And when you tell them something, they don't even understand what you're saying because 427 00:26:57.480 --> 00:27:02.680 they don't have that logical part of their So you have to really put in 428 00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:06.799 that effort to make that baby feel comfortable and loved. So you need to 429 00:27:06.839 --> 00:27:10.480 constantly be doing that with yourself, and it's weird, right because we look 430 00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:12.440 at ourselves like we're this adult self, or even if you're a teenager watching 431 00:27:12.440 --> 00:27:15.759 this, whatever it is, you still have that part within you. So 432 00:27:15.799 --> 00:27:19.559 you need to address yourself from a very loving and compassionate way. Be there 433 00:27:19.559 --> 00:27:23.400 with yourself, let yourself cry if you need to, but again really being 434 00:27:23.440 --> 00:27:27.400 that adult figure and being that person that you probably once needed when you were 435 00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:32.440 younger, and to be like, listen, this rejection right now is actually 436 00:27:32.519 --> 00:27:34.880 not a bad thing. It's an amazing thing right now. It just means 437 00:27:34.880 --> 00:27:37.319 we're going to get what we want. We need to focus on that. 438 00:27:37.599 --> 00:27:41.680 So again, this is going to be important for you to curate your environment, 439 00:27:41.839 --> 00:27:45.400 Curate the conversations that you're having with people, Curate the things that you're 440 00:27:45.440 --> 00:27:49.599 putting in your brain when you're going online. Like literally like do a whole 441 00:27:49.640 --> 00:27:53.000 intervention for yourself when you are going through something that is very tough right now, 442 00:27:53.039 --> 00:27:56.799 because you're gonna get triggered all the time. But it's going to be 443 00:27:56.920 --> 00:28:00.240 up to you to keep yourself sane. The next thing that you need to 444 00:28:00.279 --> 00:28:06.880 let go of today is prioritizing other people over yourself and furthermore, being upset 445 00:28:07.160 --> 00:28:14.240 when others start to slowly not prioritize you. Everyone is really a reflection of 446 00:28:14.279 --> 00:28:18.039 the way that you treat yourself and what you believe about yourself, and what 447 00:28:18.119 --> 00:28:21.640 you think you can and what you think you cannot have in life. Is 448 00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:23.160 it one hundred percent No, But a lot of the times, in my 449 00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:27.880 personal opinion, everyone's really just reflecting to you what you believe about yourself, 450 00:28:29.000 --> 00:28:32.519 and everyone is really conforming to you based off of how you show up in 451 00:28:32.599 --> 00:28:36.200 your life in relationships. And this has always been so true to me. 452 00:28:36.480 --> 00:28:40.319 When I start to realize that people are not prioritizing me, it's always because 453 00:28:40.359 --> 00:28:45.519 realistically, I've put that spotlight on them. I've actually deprioritized myself. I've 454 00:28:45.559 --> 00:28:48.279 put them all the way up here and I've put myself down here. And 455 00:28:48.319 --> 00:28:51.839 the only reason why I'm feeling like no one is prioritizing me, and I 456 00:28:51.839 --> 00:28:53.400 can feel it in front of my face and I can see it so much, 457 00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:59.160 is because I haven't been prioritizing myself. Because realistically, the only reason 458 00:28:59.240 --> 00:29:03.240 that you are witnessing somebody pulling away so heavily or treating you like crafts so 459 00:29:03.319 --> 00:29:07.920 much, it's because you are hyper focused on them. You do not have 460 00:29:07.960 --> 00:29:11.480 the focus on yourself anymore. You need to bring your tension and your time 461 00:29:11.519 --> 00:29:15.079 and your focus back onto yourself. I don't care if somebody is showing up 462 00:29:15.319 --> 00:29:18.240 or is not right now in your life. Usually it's always when somebody's not 463 00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:22.119 showing up, when somebody's not prioritizing you, or like something is just not 464 00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:23.759 happening in your life. That doesn't have to even be with like other people. 465 00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:26.799 But this can also be if you are in like let's say we're just 466 00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:32.519 gonna bring back relationships, somebody is prioritizing you right now, remind yourself and 467 00:29:32.599 --> 00:29:34.519 ground yourself and realize you don't need to lose yourself and listen. And we 468 00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:37.559 always kind of lose yourselves in relationships a little bit. We obsess about that 469 00:29:37.599 --> 00:29:40.799 personally, we like them a little bit too much, the spotlights on them. 470 00:29:40.960 --> 00:29:44.920 This that in the third, but always bringing that attention back to yourself 471 00:29:45.079 --> 00:29:49.200 and prioritize yourself for two reasons. Now, one of the reasons is not 472 00:29:49.240 --> 00:29:52.279 as important as the other one that we're going to talk about, and one 473 00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:56.160 of them is honestly, because it's my belief that like, the more you 474 00:29:56.160 --> 00:29:59.279 focus on yourself, the more you'll be magnetizing and you'll get what you want 475 00:29:59.319 --> 00:30:00.559 in your life. And you don't need to trace people, and you don't 476 00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:03.759 need to tell people how to show up for you or treat you or whatever. 477 00:30:03.960 --> 00:30:07.559 And so this is more of an external thing. You don't want to 478 00:30:07.559 --> 00:30:11.200 prioritize yourself and love yourself and focus on yourself simply to get other people to 479 00:30:11.240 --> 00:30:15.319 do it for you, because then realistically you're not actually prioritizing yourself. But 480 00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:18.799 I will just say that that's how it works, at least that's my personal 481 00:30:18.799 --> 00:30:22.359 belief, and that's how I see it always work out for me and always 482 00:30:22.359 --> 00:30:26.079 work out for people. But on the flip side, in general, prioritize 483 00:30:26.119 --> 00:30:30.160 yourself for yourself because you're the most important person in your life. You're the 484 00:30:30.200 --> 00:30:33.799 one that you will always be living with, be going to sleep with, 485 00:30:33.920 --> 00:30:36.240 even if you lay with someone else, You're always going to be in your 486 00:30:36.240 --> 00:30:40.440 own head. And listen, do you not want to enjoy your time on 487 00:30:40.519 --> 00:30:44.839 earth? Do you not want to for the most part, be emotionally stable, 488 00:30:44.960 --> 00:30:48.319 insane and happy in your life? If you are not prioritizing yourself and 489 00:30:48.400 --> 00:30:52.960 taking care of yourself and understanding who you are and what you want to be 490 00:30:52.279 --> 00:30:56.240 and what you like to do in this life. You are going to be 491 00:30:56.400 --> 00:31:00.640 miserable and that is going to reflect in your relationships. Okay, and when 492 00:31:00.680 --> 00:31:03.839 that happens, you're gonna be even more miserable. And then you're gonna keep 493 00:31:03.960 --> 00:31:07.400 creating these cycles, and then you're gonna, unfortunately sometimes blame everything else, 494 00:31:07.559 --> 00:31:11.759 and then you're gonna lose your power. You're gonna literally feel disempowered because you 495 00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:17.079 are going to literally create a world where you literally feel like it's everyone else 496 00:31:17.119 --> 00:31:21.640 but yourself. But listen, girly, I love you, but it's you, 497 00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:23.960 it's not them, And I know that can be really hard. And 498 00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:27.440 I'm not saying it's always not somebody else. I'm not trying to deny that 499 00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:32.519 people do show up shitty. But why is somebody's showing up shitty in your 500 00:31:32.519 --> 00:31:37.640 life? Probably because you didn't have expectations or certain boundaries, or simply the 501 00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:41.200 focus was too much on them. And listen, maybe if you continue to 502 00:31:41.200 --> 00:31:45.440 prioritizitize yourself and you love yourself and you're grounded whatever, that person might still 503 00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:48.799 show up shitty. But guess what, because you prioritize yourself, that person 504 00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:51.240 is not going to rock you. That person is not going to shake you. 505 00:31:51.440 --> 00:31:53.839 That person is going to be quite irrelevant. Because if you were standing 506 00:31:53.880 --> 00:31:59.039 in your worth and you were prioritizing yourself so much, this it really like 507 00:31:59.119 --> 00:32:01.559 that person wouldn't even really be that much of an effect. Like, okay, 508 00:32:01.599 --> 00:32:06.559 maybe that would suck when you realize this person is not you know, 509 00:32:06.880 --> 00:32:08.359 on your level or whatever it is, But end of the day, it 510 00:32:08.359 --> 00:32:13.039 wouldn't really be a big deal. Or even when an opportunity like falls through, 511 00:32:13.119 --> 00:32:15.240 it wouldn't really be the end of the deal because you know your worth 512 00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:19.400 and your value and you know there's going to be another opportunity. And you 513 00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:22.799 know, when you have that mindset about rejection is redirection, and you don't 514 00:32:22.799 --> 00:32:25.319 have such a fixed mindset, you're going to be good as freaking gold. 515 00:32:25.480 --> 00:32:30.960 So prioritize yourself always in everything, especially when it comes to relationships, but 516 00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:37.480 honestly, like anything in general, become the main character. And you know, 517 00:32:37.759 --> 00:32:42.160 this is definitely super important for people who are anxiously attached, because when 518 00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:45.519 you're anxiously attached, you do prioritize everyone else and your focus is on everyone 519 00:32:45.559 --> 00:32:50.200 else and not yourself, And it's actually very hard for you to feel safe 520 00:32:50.200 --> 00:32:53.079 and focusing on yourself because you feel like if you do focus on yourself, 521 00:32:53.240 --> 00:32:58.920 then everyone will leave you, and or yeah, basically everyone will leave you, 522 00:32:59.079 --> 00:33:01.599 or like you know, you just don't trust that things are going to 523 00:33:01.680 --> 00:33:06.880 stay in place because you don't have a secure attachment. I would really suggest 524 00:33:06.920 --> 00:33:09.799 you understand deeper about attached with cells if you don't know a lot about them. 525 00:33:09.880 --> 00:33:14.160 I will have links to books down below if you need them. I've 526 00:33:14.240 --> 00:33:17.240 also I have a lot of episodes on just like how to have healthier relationships, 527 00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:22.960 and I think focusing on your nervous system in distressing as well is a 528 00:33:22.079 --> 00:33:25.480 very good start because when you're anxiously attached, your stress like that's just what 529 00:33:25.519 --> 00:33:30.119 it really is too, So I would I'll link an episode if you have 530 00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:32.640 not already listened about how to distress and heal your nervous system and all that 531 00:33:32.680 --> 00:33:37.039 good stuff. But it is going to be the most important work that you 532 00:33:37.119 --> 00:33:42.200 ever do for yourself, especially if you are somebody who is anxiously attached and 533 00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:45.680 you find that you usually are always the one that's putting the spotlight and everyone 534 00:33:45.720 --> 00:33:50.279 else and you're putting other people on a pedestal and you're always worrying and overthinking. 535 00:33:50.920 --> 00:33:53.119 That can't be your state of being. You're not going to get what 536 00:33:53.160 --> 00:33:57.039 you want in your life. And listen, when it comes to relationships, 537 00:33:58.519 --> 00:34:05.400 the worst part about this is, no matter what that person does, even 538 00:34:05.440 --> 00:34:10.199 if they are showing up consistently in your life, if you don't prioritize yourself, 539 00:34:12.119 --> 00:34:15.119 no matter what they do to make you feel safe, you won't actually 540 00:34:15.119 --> 00:34:22.400 feel safe because you aren't healthy in a way. You have this really unhealthy 541 00:34:22.480 --> 00:34:28.760 relationship towards others and yourself, and so the most important work that you can 542 00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:31.960 do in general life is to prioritize and work on yourself. So having your 543 00:34:32.039 --> 00:34:36.320 routines, finding out what works for you, finding out what you really love 544 00:34:36.360 --> 00:34:39.559 to do in this life, taking time for yourself, allowing people to go 545 00:34:39.760 --> 00:34:44.920 if they need to go, being okay with the unknown, being okay, 546 00:34:44.920 --> 00:34:49.719 and changing that relationship you have towards change by redirecting your mindset when it comes 547 00:34:49.719 --> 00:34:52.760 to change and realizing that it's okay that things change and it doesn't always mean 548 00:34:52.760 --> 00:34:55.880 that it's a bad thing, even if it looks like it's a bad thing 549 00:34:55.960 --> 00:35:00.320 right now. Understand there's so many things being in the background that you will 550 00:35:00.440 --> 00:35:05.880 never be able to see. But things will move the way you need them 551 00:35:05.880 --> 00:35:07.639 to move, but you have to have that mindset first. You have to 552 00:35:07.719 --> 00:35:12.960 be that change if you want to see it reflected in your world. The 553 00:35:13.039 --> 00:35:15.519 last thing that you need to let go of today is dwelling in the past 554 00:35:15.800 --> 00:35:20.360 and having regret for the things that you didn't know how to do, or 555 00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:23.679 maybe you did know but you made a mistake, or things that were done 556 00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:29.400 or said you didn't mess up anything. You did not mess up anything. 557 00:35:29.920 --> 00:35:34.840 You need to understand that if you continue to anchor yourself down and the things 558 00:35:34.840 --> 00:35:38.239 that you cannot change anymore, how is it that you are going to get 559 00:35:38.280 --> 00:35:43.039 what it is that you've always wanted? Anyways, I want you to think 560 00:35:43.079 --> 00:35:49.000 about that for a second. It's simple, it's logical, but for some 561 00:35:49.079 --> 00:35:53.920 reason we can't get on board. We're thinking about that. How is it 562 00:35:53.960 --> 00:35:58.679 that you're going to get love, happiness, money, abundance, whatever it 563 00:35:58.719 --> 00:36:05.559 is that you want when you are anchoring yourself down to the past, Understand 564 00:36:05.559 --> 00:36:07.920 the lessons that you need to learn from what it is that happen in the 565 00:36:07.920 --> 00:36:14.679 past and do better. And that is simply it. Forgive yourself for whatever 566 00:36:14.719 --> 00:36:17.800 you did in survival mode. Listen, you might there's going to be different 567 00:36:17.880 --> 00:36:21.639 tiers of you healing from certain things in the past. Of course, So 568 00:36:21.800 --> 00:36:25.480 like obviously you need to decide what work you need to do by going to 569 00:36:25.599 --> 00:36:30.840 therapy or like you know, journaling out things or forgiving or letting go or 570 00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:32.719 whatever it is that you need to do. But at the end of the 571 00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:37.239 day, you can't keep anchoring yourself and things that you cannot change. And 572 00:36:37.360 --> 00:36:38.960 at the end of the day, you are not a perfect human being, 573 00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:44.920 and neither are other people understand that, especially when it comes to relationships. 574 00:36:44.960 --> 00:36:46.880 We always put that person on a pedestal, and we just think that we 575 00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:50.559 made all the mistakes or if I just did this, or if I just 576 00:36:50.559 --> 00:36:52.960 said that, or oh my gosh, if I just was just said dada. 577 00:36:52.599 --> 00:36:57.119 This person is also imperfect as well. This person also has limiting beliefs 578 00:36:57.159 --> 00:37:01.199 as well. People in general are not perfect, okay, And you don't 579 00:37:01.199 --> 00:37:05.519 even know the full picture. And it's quite cute that you want to just 580 00:37:05.639 --> 00:37:07.199 be the one that takes the brunt of the work, and you know, 581 00:37:07.440 --> 00:37:12.000 you want to blame everything on yourself because you're just such a You're honestly a 582 00:37:12.039 --> 00:37:14.239 great person. I love you for that, but you can't do that to 583 00:37:14.280 --> 00:37:17.960 yourself. And in general, it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to 584 00:37:17.960 --> 00:37:22.360 make mistakes, just learn from them and move on. The more you dwell 585 00:37:22.639 --> 00:37:27.320 and the more you don't just learn the lesson that is when you create more 586 00:37:27.400 --> 00:37:31.280 suffering for yourself. And no one is doing that but yourself. And listen, 587 00:37:31.400 --> 00:37:35.599 for all the things that I've said today, there's a lot of I 588 00:37:35.639 --> 00:37:37.639 don't even want to say, blame on you, right, but I'm sure 589 00:37:37.719 --> 00:37:42.639 you can hear through my words that it's a lot of personal accountability. And 590 00:37:42.760 --> 00:37:45.480 you guys know them about that, and I'm about that because that is the 591 00:37:45.519 --> 00:37:50.400 thing that allows you to be able to change your circumstance in life, because 592 00:37:50.440 --> 00:37:52.440 if not, you will feel like everything is happening to you. And when 593 00:37:52.519 --> 00:37:59.320 you feel like life is happening to you and you have no control over any 594 00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:02.719 outcome in your life, you stay in a very low state. And I 595 00:38:02.760 --> 00:38:06.519 don't want that for you, guys. And I used to live my life 596 00:38:06.519 --> 00:38:08.800 like that and it wasn't a fun place to live, and I created so 597 00:38:08.840 --> 00:38:17.519 many unhealthy circumstances, mindsets, behaviors, relationships, everything out of that until 598 00:38:17.559 --> 00:38:21.920 I realize, no, you know what, I have one life, and 599 00:38:21.960 --> 00:38:24.519 I'm going to believe that I have a lot more control than I think. 600 00:38:24.559 --> 00:38:29.159 And this is how I live my life and I've completely transformed it. And 601 00:38:29.239 --> 00:38:32.880 you guys know, so I hope that some of these things to let go 602 00:38:32.920 --> 00:38:37.159 of today have helped you in some capacity. I know we're all going through 603 00:38:37.199 --> 00:38:43.119 certain things, whether that be relationship issues or you know, opportunities not working 604 00:38:43.119 --> 00:38:46.000 out, or just things in life just feeling like you're stuck alone, not 605 00:38:46.079 --> 00:38:50.639 happy, whatever it is. I hope, even if you are doing great 606 00:38:50.719 --> 00:38:52.679 right now, that this can just kind of reset your mind. I know, 607 00:38:53.159 --> 00:38:59.199 I have to really remind myself of these things and prioritizing myself and you 608 00:38:59.239 --> 00:39:01.559 know, not letting things bring me down even when things are great in my 609 00:39:01.599 --> 00:39:07.239 life, and that is something to be aware of when things are going good 610 00:39:07.239 --> 00:39:09.079 in your life as well. You really do want to maintain these things. 611 00:39:09.119 --> 00:39:15.559 So I'm really excited to continue to bring you guys lots more episodes. I 612 00:39:15.599 --> 00:39:19.119 did ask you guys on the podcast Instagram what you guys wanted to hear from 613 00:39:19.159 --> 00:39:22.559 me moving forward for the next like second half of the summer. I guess 614 00:39:22.679 --> 00:39:25.840 cannot believe it's already August. Okay, wait, by the way, guys, 615 00:39:27.239 --> 00:39:30.559 wait yeah, if you're still listening, I guess we'll quickly talk about 616 00:39:30.559 --> 00:39:32.840 a few other things that I did to Calgary. I saw kid Leroy, 617 00:39:32.960 --> 00:39:37.159 which I love, I love him, And I saw Jack Harlow. Why 618 00:39:37.159 --> 00:39:40.719 did I not open by saying that obviously my crush kind of fell down a 619 00:39:40.719 --> 00:39:45.679 little bit, probably because I have a crush on somebody else. But we 620 00:39:45.719 --> 00:39:50.280 still love Jack Harlow. But listen, do you guys remember you are an 621 00:39:50.280 --> 00:39:52.639 og if you remember, I used to be obsessed with Central C. I 622 00:39:52.639 --> 00:39:55.679 still am obsessed with Central C, I am, but I just, you 623 00:39:55.719 --> 00:39:58.800 know, I just realized that I don't need to be with a hoodman. 624 00:39:58.840 --> 00:40:02.400 Okay, but I still love him. Of course I listen to so much 625 00:40:02.440 --> 00:40:06.039 of his music. I work out to his music all the time. It 626 00:40:06.159 --> 00:40:08.239 is like the music that I listened to when I'm doing my leg days, 627 00:40:08.440 --> 00:40:14.360 which I cannot get cannot wait to go back into the gym. But he's 628 00:40:14.400 --> 00:40:17.360 going to Veld, So I'm going to be at Veld on August fourth. 629 00:40:17.639 --> 00:40:20.800 I don't fourth, sorry, I don't know if I'm gonna go on the 630 00:40:20.800 --> 00:40:22.440 fifth in the sixth I used to be a festival GIRLI where I do three 631 00:40:22.519 --> 00:40:25.280 days or the two days that they had it. I don't know if I 632 00:40:25.280 --> 00:40:29.760 can do all that anymore. But I'm also like downtown whatever We'll see. 633 00:40:29.800 --> 00:40:32.360 Either way, I'm going to He's gonna be performing. Obviously other people are 634 00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:36.440 gonna be performing too at Veld, but a lot of UK rappers are gonna 635 00:40:36.440 --> 00:40:38.000 be performing that day, so I am going to be there. I am 636 00:40:38.159 --> 00:40:43.519 gonna go in saying I literally can't wait. I'm gonna know probably every song. 637 00:40:44.519 --> 00:40:46.400 If you see me, say hi to me. Lots of content, 638 00:40:46.440 --> 00:40:50.199 so make sure to follow me on Instagram. But yeah, lots of content 639 00:40:50.280 --> 00:40:52.840 to come. Thank you so much for letting me know how you liked the 640 00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:57.920 podcast episodes on Spotify. Please let me know. You will see a question 641 00:40:57.960 --> 00:41:00.920 that I pose and you can answer on spot if I like I said. 642 00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:05.760 When it comes to the responses on Instagram, you guys told me will you 643 00:41:05.800 --> 00:41:07.599 guys gave me a lot of different ideas for the podcast episodes. All of 644 00:41:07.639 --> 00:41:13.280 you guys said you wanted more episodes as well. I was considering doing I 645 00:41:13.320 --> 00:41:16.440 don't know though this might be more of a fall to winter thing because the 646 00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:20.880 summer right now, I have so much going on, but doing like a 647 00:41:20.920 --> 00:41:24.119 short episode and then a longer one. A short episode maybe more of a 648 00:41:24.199 --> 00:41:31.039 chit chatty like updates, just chilling type of one, and then maybe one 649 00:41:31.039 --> 00:41:36.679 that's longer that is a more detailed topic. I don't know, we'll see 650 00:41:36.760 --> 00:41:39.639 let me know. I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode and I will see 651 00:41:39.639 --> 00:41:42.639 you guys in the next one. By