It was good, boy d what what's good? Everybody? This is what's
good? This glove? Really? And you're checking out the Cruise Show podcast.
Make sure to subscribe rate. Sure, let's go go, let's go,
let's go real ninety two three? Law, what's up? What's up?
Everybody? What's what's up over there? What's dog? What up?
Man? What's up for? What's going down? Man? How are you?
Man? I'm good, man, I'm good, good good. It's
Summer's a hundred degrees. You wear in a jacket, right? Yeah?
Man, it is a little chilly in here, so that's I or the
jacket. You know. When you have the extra hips, you gotta wear
them, bro, you gotta hide them. You gotta hid them. Show.
Yeah. Man's the saddle bags my love do not for everybody? Bro,
That's right, that's right. You gotta be private about that also.
Man, Like when there's a hundred degrees in Los Angeles and if you live
like in the good neighborhoods, you go to a supermarket, it's like one
degree, you know, so you get different, you get sick in there.
Bro, how do you feel naked? I feel good, bro.
Very slippery, that's right, slippery when I used to be bumping. But
I got rid of about my skin tags. You know, no more I
need some of that. Yeah, yeah, Bro, I have skin tags
everywhere, brom what you use you know? Bro? The doctor burned them
off? Burn them off? Yeah? What's that like? Procedure? Like,
what's that process? I don't even know how much your costs? Man?
Insurance? You got insurance? Bro. I had a big one,
Bro, and look like one of the ones, like the ones that the
black people have in their ear. It was big. You're talking about a
kiloid. That's a keyloid. Well, I half a keloidmember. I had
a little bump. I lott grabbing cruise brought keyloids up for the first time
last time. I don't know what they were. I was just thinking,
God, I didn't have one. That's funny. Man knew the homies that
they used to color his kiloids to make it look a necklace. No,
you know what, you know what they're calling in Spanish? I'm not taking
rugas man skin tag? Is that right? Yeah? I actually, but
this is the mole right Yeah? Yeah, okay, I hope people still
call it ruga even though it's not. Man. I see the dog you
can't Merchea. I went to a concert and I saw her in Amsterdam.
Wow, you're a fan. Yeah, Man, that's right at the place
at the Ziggle Dome. Bro. When you tell your man, I've never
been to a concert out of America and it's different. Bro, is it
really totally different? Bro? I guess when you've been bombed by Germany,
you know you behave afterwards. He because I go to places where where Germany
bombed him during World War Two. The nicest people in the world. Bro,
Like an Amsterdam, bro pace bro An Amsterdam. Like you know when
you go to a concert, even like you go to down your stadium,
there's a there's like so many security guards parking, lot of people tell you
where to go, Hey, don't go there. There were none of that
over there, Bro. Everybody just walked into the concert like everyone knew what
to do. Everybody knew what to do. Bro. There was a line
for V I P. Everybody went over there. Nobody tripping, nobody,
but it was stripping. Nobody was tripping, Brokay. Bro. I ordered
Uber Eats and they showed up at three thirty in the morning and they were
knocking. They were knocking at the airbab guy had an nbarb and they were
knocking at the guy next door, and they woke that fool up. And
I went over there, all the West coast out and I just grabbed a
bag and they didn't say nothing. Bro, And I went back to my
room and in the morning I asked that guy. I am very sorry,
man, they woke up at thirty morning. It's all right. It happens,
mate. It's a part of life that happens over here. It's a
problem, Bro. He would have got robbed shot, he would have got
robbed by the people he woke up. He would have got beat up by
me for being so late. Eat. Hey, you work at Dodger Stadium,
right, Yeah, what did you do there? I saw hot dogs?
No, I cooked hot dogs, and I cooked when I was working
there. Then at one time I just saw souvenirs. I my Virginia at
Dodger Stadium. Yeah, whereabout Jackie works there? So I work at the
Dodger Stadium. I'm in the stadium host. So I'm the one on the
screens doing like all the cap shuffles. Oh no, I wasn't. I
was like signing souvenirs, Bro, with losers. Don't say that, Bro,
if you knew what these kids do on the side, Bro, They're
like they're just there enough because they don't want a gang bang. Bro.
It's like victory outreachion though. Nah, man, they don fast we get
to eat. My brother. I kicked out a victory our region. Nothing
against victory, but my brother was not the kind of gather you could control.
Yeah, bro, because that fool was sneak out of whenever, because
there's time when people fast, they don't need the whole day. Maybe it
was Wednesday and my brother when when everybody's like praying or sleeping, my brother
will sneak out and go to Jack in the Box and then come back.
And when they were selling the charity chocolates, he was so he would have
for donations and then he'll go by Hamburgers and come back, and you know
he was still being scanless in there. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
My brothers a criminal. Bro. How's he doing? He's in Mexico,
Bro, trying to get back in. Bro. Oh, how do we
how do we help? What do we do? Well? I have to
come back, bro. Everybody else do a different names, different identity,
different blood. He's one he's the burn identity. You know. People always
say that, like, you want these commercials for identity theft? Have you
ever had your identity theft? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
that they never and that commercial should be should be the commercial that comes here
you see here in the morning on radio bro, right after Rams, you
know, because that happens to us, you know. And then the commercials
would be like this, did your mom use your identity when you were little?
We're creditors at your high school graduation? Did someone buying rims in your
name when you were two? Maybe you should call us identity death, you
know, that's the way what happens. Nobody goes bro. Hey man,
it's to my identity and they fixed my life right right right right, No,
But it's funny when they when the when the when the bank realizes they
didn't you by that time, he bade so many purchases like it wasn't you
from the beginning. First of all, you don't buy nothing right right exactly,
Bro, I had a two bedroom apartment under my name when I was
ten. Damn, we're gonna have good credit now. That's funny because rich
people do the opposite of what we do. Rich people, well, when
their kids are born, they open up a bank a credit card in their
name with a thousand dollars and it builds interest. Poor people, nah man,
another another kid is born, that's a new social Security card. We
could say, we're going You know what's funny you say that, Bro,
you're talking about the supermarket or the country ship an Amsterdam. Hudasau in one
of the countries that the Dutch colonize. So I realized that when I'm over
there in Europe, I realized that whatever country you colonize or took all their
stuff, that's the people that are going to be living in your country later
on. Because in in Netherlands where was that, a lot of people from
Kudasau lived there, Bro, A lot of people from Guyana in the United
States, a lot of people from Mexico. We're here, Hey, we're
here, Bro, Venezuela over Yeah, that's right, that's right. They
occupy the land. Yeah, in London, all in Indians, Bro from
Bangladash. Yeah. The British Empire. Yeah, the British Empire was founded
in India there, Bro, we did I did a cruise ship. Bro,
over there on a cruise ship, but one of one of the little
boats. And then one of the guys, one of the tour guy,
goes exactly like that. Bro. The tour guy goes, nybody know how
the Dutch made their money and nobody will saying nothing. All right, eh,
so nobody want to say it slaves? Whoa? And then everybody said,
yes, that was one of them. And then then he went to
a horse. Yeah. The the Dutch Indian Tea company did a lot of
exchanges during the Ivory Coast. Yeah, yeah, they were trying to ignore
the slaves Situa. Yeah, but a lot of the houses and in Amsterdam
they're together, and that was most of the houses were that the where they
did all the TX change. So all the houses have a big hook where
they will put all the cargo. Okay, hang it up. But yeah,
man got real quiet when I said that on the boat. But what
it wants to last? Bro, But nobody if you would have said that
in America, Hey, don't say that, right, don't say that true.
Stick to comedy still the politics? Was history your favorite subject growing up
in schools? A history? Yeah? Man, I think I did.
Matt because I remember I had a teacher. His name was mister Shaughnessy.
He got kicked out of the He got kicked out of the school for being
a communist. Probably that full he was. He was the guy that started.
He was starting. He took it to a pro He took it to
like two protests, one for teachers, one for something else. And he
took us to a school meeting in his little bug, you know. And
I don't think there was no trips lips for that. He just asked,
who wants to go? Who wants to go for extra credit? You know
me, man, anything to get away from the projects, I'll go,
yeah, man. But but I was like, I always like history,
man, And which is why I'm doing a new podcast in Spanish. Yeah.
Lellendas is produced by Sono. It'll be on iHeartMedia. It's called Lellenda's
Nasa Leena Chespirito and eleven episodes of the life and times of Roberto Gomez Bolanos.
And I did the whole from the beginning man of his life, which
I didn't even know. He was in TV for fifty years and before he
did Chesspirito, he had been in TV twenty years because he had he was
the writer and producer of Happolina and the other his partners to the show.
There, that's beyond legendary. Way on bro, he wrote all the movies.
Wow, that's crazy, man, That's gotta be a great experience for
you, right, Yeah. But I learn a lot of stuff, man,
Like I know that that little that little Butterfly from the Simpsons it was
inspired by Chapoline. Wow, that's insane. Yeah, there's still there's there's
there's still so much story there and so much inspiration from that. Yeah.
Man, we go in debt Man, there's interviews with a Chiliandrina on it,
interviews with yeah, legend I drew, I grew. I dressed up
as chillingna on for Wow. No, he didn't cut on my astudness something
like this. I mean it has to mean a lot just culturally speaking.
I think, Hell yeah, man, I feel amazing because I learned a
lot of by just because it was not it was it's a it's a scripted
podcast, so it's already written. I'm just given. I'm nail rating man.
Man. Learn a lot of Spanish and I forgot a lot of Spanish.
Well, no, only Tijuana Bro. After Hong Kong. You know
you got to recoup. Oh yeah, Bro had to bring back by fifty
euros. We gotta make our money back. But yeah, there's a lot
like I would I would read first, I would I read. They give
me the pages like ah, man, so many pages, and then I
read them over and over, and a lot of the words that I'm saying,
I didn't even know what I'm saying. But then I ask and one
there, man, what am I saying right here? And sometimes you know,
you grew up speaking Spanish here in California, which is fake Spanish,
you know, different and that real Spanish that you're so used to saying it
this way that when somebody tells you that's not the way you say it,
you think they're wrong. Let me tell you, man, I agree,
but they don't want to tell you mea mina. I graduated from a high
school here, I went to university. I wrote this podcast. You know,
yeah, I target is no way you say it. So I just
you know, I'm just I'm a student. Brod. You listened to what
they told me to do, and I did it. During the process of
Uh, what was that word that you learned that stood out to you in
Spanish like, oh shit, this is a new word. And there's some
words that I messed up. And then they have to rewrite them in a
way that a man can say them. You know, they have to chop
it for real, Bro, because see I grew up. I realized that
your Spanish is only as good as your parents high school education. Right,
you know what? So my dad graduated, he passed out. He he
left school in fifth grade. So I'm learning Spanish from a fifth grader here,
Bro, that's a great observation. It's true. My mom didn't go
she didn't go to college. So I'm learning learning Spanish from a high school
student. You know, we never went to college. Yea, your Spanish,
so you're if your dad and now they said, somebody to tell you,
hey, Bro, my dad left me. He started working. It
was five. Oh that's what you got all idiots. Hu It was rough
hair. You're onto something, you're onto something, So Bro, I would
have a list. One of them is I didn't I didn't know how to
say executive and Spanish over and over that. I just said executive, yeah,
can it come out? And wouldn't come out? And when it when
it come out, no matter how many trying to try, wouldn't come out.
I didn't know how to say. I didn't know how to say.
Hey, I don't know how to say I don't know how to say the
show or the set list or whatever. It sounds like something that sounds like
a scenario scenario? What does that mean? Stage? The stage that I
couldn't say it, Bro, And I'm about to read the last episode like
a white person. Bro. Just don't just want to come out, Bro,
because the brow because I have a studying problem growing up. Bro.
When you're a little kid, Bro, they don't take you to speech pair
man, Bro, valuable throat and tell you talk right exactly. They make
fun of you. I remember you told us about that. Yeah, Bro,
my hero with Porky Pig. Bro. But I saw ourselves on TV
for taking on this challenge man, and ultimately made you, you know,
veteran Spanish. I think you take the challenge all Bro. You know that's
great man. The thanks, but you talk to a person that actually had
a bigger studying problem than you do, and like they never had help.
And when they finished the word, they're like they're like they flex ha huh.
They feel accomplished. I used to know a crackhead, Bro, that
was they already had a speech impairment, and when that fool would be all
cracked out, that fool was speaking and morese code. Bro sounded like a
dolphin. I have a little bit of a stutter stopping, but I do
too. Bro was always know when I'm kidnapped. You know toilet paper?
Have you been kidnapped? If not, what's the scary situation that you have
to live you have to live through? Oh man, I've been kidnapp Where
I jump in the car and then we're going to TJ, and I didn't
know we're going to TJ. Bro, you want to go? I didn't
go, Bro, you want to go right? And I'm in no money,
Bro, so that I gotta do everything for everybody. I have no
money. Who gets some beers give me the money? Who get it?
I became their pedal, Bro, the real perito Nah philipp has this good
bit by the way, like he was sent to Mexico right because he's laying
bad and he was like ya Mexican, but not like this. My cousins
on the roof, Bro, Bro, they had dogs on the roof,
Bro with and then there was no barbars, just broken glass everywhere. Life
is tough, bro, man like yeah, man, I don't know,
man hard like, I don't know. Man like you stick about growing up
and you were all right, like some kids, you know you can call
them like listen you mental, this is how you do it. You know,
people get offended. Now you know you can't say listen, you eat
your your idiots. You want to learn or you want to be an idiot?
Yeah, but you can't even see the other word. Man, let's
get this star. You know, I didn't know that start was called Let's
get retarded, bro, right, that was the original. Yeah, and
they had to change it. Yeah, man, wow, I didn't know
that. Yeah, let's get retarded. Yeah bro, I can't say yeah,
and then retarded it's just obviously a very word and they were forced to
change it. Man, you were you were like go to a bathroom,
bro, like in the middle of nowhere doing a gas station and you forget
your phone and you gotta read racist graffit in the bathroom like a barstow or
or the Leno somewhere. You know, far bro far bro like far bro
like like places you never heard of, like those Banios and stuff. You
know, Portuville, you're a bathroom you know, by by a Barnay Rockies,
you know, and then you're in there eat reading and it's like,
wow, they even got racist stuff in Spanish for me so I could understand
it. One that I read was Lo Spica so on Changos, and I
was like, I was all mad broo, I was a mad dog.
You're joking, but it really said that. They really said that. Yeah,
really really really wrote that. But I don't think you get easily offriended,
you know, no, man, but something that offended you. You're
like, what the kind of that offends me? More like like stuff that
like like if they're having a big festal with a bunch of white comics and
I don't see my name in a balloon, you know. Yeah, You're
like, but I'm in a big show, you know, then I feel
offend. Okay, there's some racism here, or maybe the person they hired
is used to only seeing white people, you know, so you know she's
not used to putting a Latino name that he's opposed to, so you're gonna
put this other white name here that it's doing eighty person room instead they'mn offended.
They do that. I think to make people feel comfortable. I guess
I don't know. Maybe, well, I've mean if you're gonna love discomfort,
So what's up show I'm doing. As far as the July twenty seventh
Terra Stater and Long Beach sold out, Bro sold out in four days,
four days, Bro, because I've never been to Long Beach. Bro.
That's why I went to Long Beach. There used to be a ghetto roller
coaster over there, Bro. Right, yeah, Bro, Like it was
like a poor man's six Flags over there, a Long Beach right where the
laugh Factory is right during that area used to be like an amusement park,
Bro, where you'd be on a roller coaster, Bro, and then one
of those screws hits you in a forehead from a roller coaster. Now Queen
Mary, though, look, we're not gonna mention her again. That was
one night people get offended about that. I went to the Queen Mary.
Bro. It's scary in there, Bro. I did a comedy showing that
I wish I knew what the name of the what the name of the us
be in part there used to be in Long Beach back in the day in
that area. But I was a little kid. Can look it up.
It was called a pike. It was called a pike, Bro, And
yeah, I was long. Beach is great though, Man, great fans
out there. Man, they love comedy. It's weird there. Weird laws
there, Bro, long Yeah, like like footloose laws. Bro. I
was at a club called the Liquid Lounge and there are no dancing policy in
there, and they have a DJ playing music. And I started saying that
everybody that was that was black and white and Latino. This work with a
right here, man. This is the bar that belongs in every America.
Bro. In this bar, you see meth heads from every nationality in there,
divers diversity, Bro. You see surf surfers there with a beach cruiser,
with a surfboard on a beach cruiser. You see uh, you see
that. You know that old dark solo with a backpack and a beast crewser
you see him to him. But the DJ just jamming, Bro. And
then and then me and my I start dancing, you know security, you
know, dancing here. Then look around and everybody dancing in their stool.
Yes, you need a license to provide dancing at a club in Long Beach,
or they shut you down. So it's the liquid lounge. Then alsome
man to do stand up at that. Any club you need a cabaret license.
They go old school, bro, old laws, Bro, cabaret cabaret
license. That's not Long Beach, that's Lot Beach. That's crazy. You
have to go to the I don't know where Snoop double to been performing in
backyards, Bro, I don't know what he was doing. Now he had
to come down here to perform. Man, who's the funniest person, you
know, Philipp as far as I need to promote him as much as I
can that it depends, man Like I laugh at everything, man Like,
like somebody might show me April. You gotta check this guy out and he
has like one joke I like, but then the rest is like horrible,
But I love him for that one joke, right right, There's a lot
of comedians out there, right and this is with all due respect. They
have a set, and that's that set for twenty years. Hey, don't
talk about the dove Master anyway. So I wish he could do that,
bro, But that's that's like, that's when you have a good set and
you write it down and I can't, man, because I go to a
place where people yell at you, you know, the young stuff out.
You know, you're okay with that. With hecklers, I get hecklers,
you know, but it's like the same type of heacklers that George Lopez gets
that are happy. I love you, man, yeah, exactly. And
then you're performing. You're trying to do a joke. The Camacho family loves
you, by the way, Philippe, thank you, bro, thank you.
Let me just think this joke about your loser family real quick and I
get a laugh. I do it with a laugh. Yeah, that's right.
So Danny trayholl and noybody talked about that. Yet you're scared Trade Hall
Man. No, Man, we love him, man, I mean he
he hold it down. Bro. You know when he was in that car,
Man, he's probably thinking about it going. You know what, Man,
I should have went right instead of left, because that's how it is,
man, Hey, but that hood, it just doesn't leave you.
Dog. He got out of that carro ty, Bro. People in San
Fernando Valley they gang bang to their ninety Bro, they'd be in they'd be
at the for real bro, They'll be at the dialysis, Bro, Matt
dogging each other? Were you were you from Arlita? E? You're lucky
they're taking my leg off today, Bro. That's why. Man, if
they ever ever to do that, that parade, I'm not sure what security
was those machine guns with water bro. Yo, you know Danny Trey Hill?
Right? Yeah? Have you talked to him since when? Since he
got into that city? No? Bro, I know a lot of people
don't have their phone numbers. I can tell you right now, Bro,
all the people that are famous, I don't have none of their phone numbers.
Right Why what would you want to call from me? A food?
What are you doing right now? What are you doing right now? And
Stee The only person I could just call right now and they'll pick up will
probably be Lewis E K wow, who's half Mexican? That baby bash?
The first ring, Emilio Rivera, Tom Green? Okay, Eric Andrey is
like my daughter, Andre, that's your guy. Yeah, man, did
some great work together, man. Hell yeah, I still do the show,
man. I love. I love being a part of the show because
I get to be a different person. Yeah, because they only they don't
a lot of his fans don't know me from stand up. They don't know
me from anything else but that show. So when I when I when I
they're doing like Eric Andre Live Now, and when I come out on stage,
they go crazy, bro, because they know me from the show,
but they don't know me from stand up. Like when I was in England,
this guy goes filiperspoise off of the Eric Andrey Show. What U bro?
And I showed him my belly? That's right, that's right anyways,
So mano on iHeartMedia starts in July twenty third boy with eleven. We can't
wait. Man. Also, I have a new special coming out, Bro.
I don't know when it comes out. They're doing it right now.
Raging fool, raging fool, oh like raging bull. Okay, yeah,
so you already filmed it. They're editing it now, they're in it.
Bro. Wow where'd you film it at the Sacramental Tower Theater? Bro?
Sorry? Christ Theater? Okay, we're gonna rewind that, right look,
no problem, no problem, I'll ask you again. Where'd you fielm it
at the Christ Theatre and Sacramento Sacktown? Bro? Yeah? Man, shout
out to all the people that showed up over there early. Thank you.
Yeah. Thank you. I had a heckler a special too, bro special.
Yeah. I kept telling she keept be eyeing bro and it was all
loves I love, you know, and I kept telling her like no,
like to shut up. I know that they started roasting her and everybody started
liking her. But then after a while, the crowd was starting to shut
up in a mean way. But then security came down and I totally listen
to you animal, you need to shut up, you know, I don't
know, you know, Security got told her like that, but Mira,
K, we want to dance, We want to yo, No, Philippe,
Man, I enjoy all your bits, man, we love you dog.
The bit about really quick about bringing your kids to your mom's house,
Oh yeah, man, She's like, have you guys eaten yet? This
is why we're here for real, man. I understand people like, are
you single moms out there? Man? Like I remember on a special,
I talk about how I was afraid to tell my mom that my lady was
pregnant because she was on like seventeen, and my mom was all mad.
She goes, you messed up your life, and that's her. No,
you messed up your life. You're gonna be your grandma thirty five. This
one's on you, mom. You're gonna babysit for free. And also mad
people make a lot of people make the mistake of going to your mom and
asking her with can you calling her on the phone? Can you watch my
kids? Big mistake. You show up with your kids and while they're eating,
you moon walk out of there and you leave your phone there. You
check a burn your phone, that's it, and your mom calling you while
your mom's calling you are here the diaper bag buzzy. But it's crazy,
man, Like I remember my sister. Man, she didn't care. Man,
she will leave the kids at home alone. She's a dancing man with
a baby monitor. You know that's funny and sad. Hey, but that
kid grew up to be a nice kid. That's right, That's what's important.
You feel me. He was raised by chess Benita every day every day
for real, Man, my mom will my mom will goes shopping forever.
Bro. I don't understand like people say, oh, they left the kids
alone, were left alone? Bro, there should be a movie about that,
man, because like they always have a movie about home alone. You
know, like the family go on vacation and either kid alone, But that
never happened when you're when you grew up in a Latino family, Asian family,
Black family, there's always somebody home, always, Bro. You think
everybody left and you gotta take care of grandma. You're now in charge of
Grandma the real home alone when your mom goes to like Walmart or go shopping
and leaves you with three kids to watch, that's that should be the movie,
right there, Bro. And you're twelve something, and you're twelve and
you gotta this a little baby. You gotta learn how to change diapers on
YouTube Take Talkers teaching you, Philip it Man, thank you very much for
stopping by. We appreciate it. What some food not so July twenty third,
that's right, All day, Cruise Show. Hey Jacking Rich for the
Cruise Show. Thanks for listening to the Cruise Show podcast. Make sure to
subscribe, and hey auto download so you don't miss an episode. Sots out