Molly, will you come out and play you Smile Day? And this is
Molly may boas pod another nice stuff with me, Molly take me Yeah,
I hate it, chibb, it's me. I'm I'm Molly may I physically
do this thing when we start the pod when Twilight counts me in, and
I didn't think that it would transfer to when we started recording in our own
homes, but I do. Um, It's like I can't help it.
My arms come up and it's like this stigma to fucking crucifixion pose and I
can't it literally can't start the pose without like my wings completely outstretched. I
don't. I think it's a nervous thing. I don't know, but that's
I want you to know. That's how every episode starts. You can't like
a they like slowly rise up as well as like okay ready it's yeah anyway.
Uh, today's episode is um. It's come to my attention that people
don't know that I know that I'm fat, or that I have a problem
or don't have a problem with the word fat. Um I did. I
used to. So that's that's today's episode. But starting today's A Bit of
Joy is from Instagram handle is joy by Joe. UM. I know it's
too perfect. Uh, my joy is joy by Joe UM. Joe sent
me a message today and said, Hi, I'm wearing a real outfit and
some makeup today and my bell is showing and I love you for liberating me.
And I screamed, I did. I positively screamed, Joe. I'm
proud of you. This is fucking joy. Our bodies are joyful, our
bells are joyful. Thank you for this moment, on this fucking moment,
especially because, like God, guy's getting dressed in this time is tricky.
I used to say that I I used to have the opinion of no one
can have a good day wearing sweatpants. But we're deep into stay at Homeland
now and I want you to know that that opinion has changed. It has
been absolutely changed. So to get that message today that she got dressed to
feel good and is honoring her body in that way, it is fucking awesome.
Today's song of the week is Adore You by the fucking sweetest face in
the whole world of Harry Styles. This sweet angel baby is having all the
moments, and we owe the younger generation. Thank you of being the first
obsessors of this perfect specimen as he was in one Direction. I remember my
cousin had a Barbie doll of Nile and that's how that's how I know one
direction existed. And because of her Anna, thank you, we get to
enjoy Harry Styles now because of their fandom as girls. Thank you. So
let's talk about what I can't take off this week. Is my fat Bitch
T shirt. UM. It's made by Carissa and a King at the handle
Fat Girl Flow and the shirt is the perfect fat Pride celebration T shirt.
UM. I got it a cake plus size resale in Minneapolis, and it
feels so good to wear the shirt and own my body in this way and
to celebrate it. I'll post it on my instat But it's just like I
am a fat bitch. That's fucking awesome, and it's just like it's a
white T shirt with red heart just says a big, bold, fucking fat
bitch in the middle. It's very good, and it's especially good paired with
a high waisted mustard pant to fear into that color story. But anyway,
I'm diving in UM has that I half I have something to declare and like
when Michael Scott is like, I declare bankruptcy, but I'm not. I'm
not declaring bankruptcy. I am declaring that I'm fat. I'm Molly May and
I'm fat, simply put. And I've never felt the need to come out
as fat before. I've called myself plus size or that I'm a big girl,
but I've never blankly said I'm Molly May and I'm fat. And there's
a lot to this. In this journey of self love and body positivity and
body confidence, I've been learning a lot about loving myself and falling in love
with the feeling of falling in love with myself, if that makes sense.
But I've never used the word fat, and I've never used the word fat
because I'm so absolutely wholly ingrained with straight size mentality, and that's that's the
societal norm that fin is in and that finn is healthy, and that fat
is bad and fat is deadly. All of this entire body positivity, fat
liberation movement that everyone is listening too right now is on. If you're listening
to this, you are a part of this. I'm gonna charge you with
the with the ask to help, because I've learned a lot, and I've
rewired a lot of thinking about my body, being fat and what it means
to be fat in a skinny world to speak up for myself. And I'm
still learning and I'm still rewiring. But what I am here to do today,
right here, right now, is to tell you that I'm fat and
I'm happy and I'm not actively trying to change my fatness. That's going to
be fucking shocking to people. I am not existing to change my body.
I am fat and I am not changing. What sparked all of us to
me in the need to say this, in declaring my fatness and my acceptance
of my fatness, is a comment that I received on Instagram, just like
one little quip the really fucking spoke volumes and open my eye, uh to
some bullshit because I you know, I've talked about it before, how I've
created this sweet little bubble on Instagram that's so so focused around celebrating fat fashion,
and this little comment slid in there and just like shook me a little
bit and kind of reminded me of the real world U saw on this post.
It's a photo of me in a swimsuit after being a fucking swimsuit model.
Like what, Okay, that's the story for another day. But I
was fucking psyched, and as I do often is is share the moment of
joy, the moment that I'm that I'm feeling it um and I love sharing
moments of joy. That's what this fucking podcast is, and I think I
think it's my sole reason for existing. Quite honestly, pretty good at clowning
around. And in this post, it was the it was the first time
on my Instagram page that I had called myself fat and I when I posted
it, I right, I mean, it's still there, but the caption
is last night me a fat girl was a swimsuit model. I was just
like, never in a million years would I ever think that I could ever
string those words together in a cohesive sentence. But it happened, and it
was fucking incredible. And then I went on about it and what it felt
like and how cool that was and for a myriad of reasons, and you
know, fat girls are never fucking celebrated as swimsuit models. So I was
going to give this moment to myself and to every other body that wears a
swimsuit because we all remember how how brave, that is, to wear a
swimsuit. Go back and listen to that episode. There's a moment in season
one where I talk about a woman calls one of my friends brave for wearing
a swimsuit. Anyway, Anyway, the comments were lovely, and as they
often do, there was one that cut me to the core, and a
comment from a woman that simply read you a pretty girl dot dot dot.
And that comment said a lot. That comment undermined my authority over my body.
That comment undermined my my my beauty in my body, and it undermined
the beauty in any fat body. It wasn't just me, she was very
clearly saying fat is not beautiful. And it was the first time that I
called myself a fat girl on the internet. And I was shamed and I
wasn't ready for that feeling. So that's why I'm here right now telling this
story. Um, And the comment said a lot. It said that I
can either be pretty or I can be fat, that I that I can't
be both, and the comment says that I am pretty despite being fat,
or that this woman thinks I'm pretty despite being fat. I deleted the comment,
by the way, so I don't try to be all fucking sneaky and
go find that shit, because I don't care to live with that kind of
shit under my bed. Maybe when I'm rich and famous, I'll have someone
filter my shit to keep me happy and nice. But for today, for
my own personal owning my shit and celebrating oh cool ass accomplishment for fat girls
everywhere, I wasn't gonna let that exist, so I took it down.
I wasn't gonna let her tear me down, because there's a lot of fat
bitch right here to try to tear down. I've spent a long fucking time
building myself up for one out of touch comment to take effect on me,
and I did. I did let it take effect on me, and it
was a little bit of me taking that power back and deleting it. So
it's gone. But I'm not and I'm here and I'm fat. After this
happened, I was on the beach with two very dear friends who are also
plus sized, and I asked them if they if they've ever felt the need
to come out as fat, or if they've come out as fat, and
if that's a thing just fucking look doing. They're like, no, No,
It was a no from two of my greatest inspirations in my relationship with
my body and a beacon of celebration of love, and the conversation naturally changed
subjects quickly, because as as lovers and celebrants of our bodies, we don't
sit and talk about our bodies. We talk about how good American makes a
great boyfriend, Gane and denim that fits us. We talk about our favorite
meditation apps and which one makes our brain feel the best. We talk about
fucking anything other than feeling shitty inside of our bodies because we don't. We're
fat and we're happy. I'm fat and I don't feel shitty, and I
wanted to share that today because I am here right now in this microphone,
because I am fat, and I realize that that will make a lot of
people uncomfortable. That it does make a lot of people uncomfortable, But that's
not my fat's fault. My body has nothing to do with your comfort level.
Try squeezing into a booth at a restaurant that was basically made for a
fucking squirrel and there's no other seating option in a restaurant, and tell me
about what's comfortable your fat friend on Insta it's at why our fat friend isn't
as a brilliant anonymous sistum that duh talks about being fat, and she's shed
so much light of the politics around my body and the policing and the secret
shaming that I've done so much to try to get over. And they've given
me definitions of things that I didn't that I didn't have in my tool belt
before, and I've learned that I don't need to get over anything. I've
done a lot of the work for myself as a fat woman and continue to
do it. It's the woman who said that I was pretty as a correction
to my fatness that needs to get over it. And honestly, this happened
at a time where I didn't necessarily have the language or the confidence in my
voice to properly have this conversation with her. So I just I did.
I deleted it, and so I'm here now to tell you, like I
did when I started this season, that I'll use my voice. I'll use
my voice better than I have in the past because I didn't stick up for
myself in that moment. But I want to share an excerpt from one of
your fat friend's essays. Because she is, she'd more eloquent than I could
ever be, and is a perfect punctuation to my declaration of fat. The
essay goes. Your discomfort with the word fat doesn't entitle you to correct fat
people when we're describing our own bodies. Fat people, like anyone, need
to be able to name and claim our own bodies using the language that's clearest
and most affirming to us. You're not sparing my feelings when you correct me
and tell me I'm fluffy, curvy, or big. You're insisting your comfort
takes precedence. When you correct me for calling myself fat, it tells me
that you associate my body type with something to be ashamed of or to be
silenced. When you correct me for calling myself fat, it tells me that
you're more comfortable with my body than I am. Uncomfortable I can't read.
Sorry, I don't think fat is a bad thing to call myself because I
don't think fat is a bad thing to be. I know your intentions are
good, that you think you're sparing us, but you're projecting your assumptions onto
fat people in the process, So please, please please stop correcting how fat
people describe ourselves allow us that much. End quote, I'm Molly May and
I'm fat and if you got this far in the pod, I'm impressed this
book. I'm really grateful to have you listening. If you want to know
more information about me or the show, check out the show page on Matriarch
dm dot com, where we host all of the what I Can't Take off,
our progressive Spotify playlist from the songs of the week, and obviously the
reminder of who to follow for the week, all in a nice little fucking
Matriarch Digital Media Bow. Theme song is Molly May by Ben Karen. I'll
never get over saying that it's so good, right, thanks for listening.
You're so cute.