WEBVTT

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Hi everyone, Michael Deangel is here
on behalf of the porch Room. Pete,

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John Paige and I are hard at
work planning out season five. But

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while you wait for further adventures of
Skipping Company, we thought you might enjoy

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something new. Oops All Bards is
an actual play tabletop comedy adventure created by

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Mission Rejected's July Ivy and featuring some
very familiar voices in the cast. Join

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this unlikely team of heroes, each
with a unique twist on the Bardic arts

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as they embark on it epiquest That's
anything but Ordinary. With songs, spells

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and a dash of slapstick, our
Bards prove that sometimes the best way to

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save the day is with a well
timed ballot and a little bit of luck.

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So grab your lute, settle in, and prepare for a symphony of

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laughter, drama, and unforgettable tales
as the porch Room presents Oops, All

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Bards. You wanted monsters, all
slain by their ain't seen nothing like arts

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and letters. Look who has answered
the cry of distress? Oops, it's

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all Bards. Oh what a mess. You think we're a joke, But

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in truth we're all in. We
fight like we learned it in books,

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because we did. We all survived
college with charisma. Impressive. Oops,

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it's all Bards, and yes it's
excessive. If you're still confused, we'll

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explain to you. Thus, there's
nobody left, so that's why they call

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us. We'll fight or we'll otherwise
roll for successes. Oops, it's all

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birds. We hope that addresses all
that you have to know to enjoy listening

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to our all Bard party sent off
on a mission. How'll it goes?

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Well, We're sure you can guess. Oops, it's all bards. Oh

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Andrew Carrol, Hold, you're a
Halt Bello Sonamio, Flatwie Hall Colonian Stumps,

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Salu Bear College Clarie sour Claud's Palmadge
Hall Ruckus doc go Bananas. Hello

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everyone, and welcome to the first
episode of Oops All Bards, the actual

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play D and D podcast that does
what it says on the box, which

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is to say, yes, you
are about to hear a campaign with an

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all Bard party. If you're already
a D and D player, it's either

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your wildest dream or your worst nightmare. I apologize either way. If you're

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not already a D and D player, I can only tell you don't try

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this at home. I am your
host and game master, Jillian Ashley Blair

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IVY, but you're going to hear
all of the fine folks around the table

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refer to me as Jill and I've
been playing D and D for I think

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about six years now, largely with
the folks who are in this party.

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I got really into it though during
the pandemic. I've run several one shots,

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but because I am nothing if not
ambitious, this is actually my first

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time being a GM for a full
campaign. And with that said, I'd

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like to introduce you to the cast
who decided to join me for this wild

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ride. So let's start with Chris
Hi. I'm Chris Kleinecki, I use

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him his pronouns, and I'm playing
Pouchtin Ruckus. That's last name, first

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name, so he goes by Rucus, a dog folk graduating from the College

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of Stixon Stones, which is a
repaint of the Bardick College of Swords.

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I've been playing D and D for
six years, not including a first foray

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back in high school, and have
been dming a continuous homebrew campaign since early

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twenty nineteen. But this is my
first time playing a bard as a player.

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Hi I'm Anne Coleman. I use
sheaher pronouns. I'll be playing Clarice

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Souer Cloud, who is a halfling
Bard graduating from Talmich Hall, which is

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based loosely on the College of Whispers. I've been playing D and D since

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January of twenty nineteen. Hi,
everyone, name Miss Ashley Banks pronounced she

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heard hers. I am playing bell
Sernamio, who is an Asimar Bard graduating

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from Flatley Hall, which is a
recoloring of the College of Dance. I've

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been playing D and D for over
a decade and very excited to expose the

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larger world to all of my antics. I am Russ Curry he Him.

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I'm playing Andrew harrol Hold also he
Him Andreck is a Hobgoblin graduating from Jurad

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Hall. The build is based on
the College of Tragedy Bard from the Taldore

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Reborn campaign setting, and I've been
playing D and D since the Halcyon Days

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of second Edition for about twenty five
years. I'm Bob Killian. I am

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playing Keilonian Stumps, a total Bard
from the College of Slouvere Slouver focuses on

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medicine, and I've been playing D
and d since college sort of off and

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on. I've run a few games, I've played a few games Ames and

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Ross. You mentioned version two.
I don't go quite that far back,

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but I go back to version three
point five and we all skipped fourth edition.

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Yes, that's correct. And then
also joining us at our table is

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our producer, Nate Runkle. You're
not going to hear from Nate a lot,

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except that you are actually going to
hear from Nate a whole lot,

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because everything that you listen to will
be touched by Nate's work. And now

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that we have all that squared away, I invite you to sit back,

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relax, and let this absolutely ridiculous
adventure begin. It's a beautiful morning in

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Shallow Mirror. The lakeside capital city
of Uva is bustling. Today is a

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big day. It's graduation day at
the shallowmir University of the Magical and Martial

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Arts aka Mage and Marshall, the
country's national university. This is where some

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of the most notable figures of Uvada's
long history spent four or more formative years

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attending lectures by some of the country's
pre eminent scholars. Wandering the long hallway

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spending sunny Saturdays and the botanical gardens
and rainy Tuesdays and the beautiful wood paneled

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libraries where fairies flit about, capturing
and sometimes consuming the insects that threatened the

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ancient homes. But today it's not
just Maje and Marshal's commencements that's being celebrated.

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Thirty years ago to this day,
the university was the location of the

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official end of the cruel regime of
Phineas Malvaux, the autocrat who held Uvra

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in his grip for half a century. The people's victory was made official here

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on the steps of the Monument to
Knowledge, this grand roofless colonnade, overlooking

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Lake Tannin on the edge of the
Maje and Marshall campus. Because of its

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location in the capital, Maje and
Marshall's graduation is always attended by some of

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the country's most powerful figures, but
with the anniversary of the revolution that ended

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in this place happening concurrently, the
campus is especially full of notable and influential

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uvenants. Among these is Edia Tsunamil, the mayor of the fortified town of

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Jubilantia in the western part of uva
Edia is not just here to celebrate Uveda's

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independence or to perform in an official
capacity at graduation. However, she is

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here celebrating her great granddaughter's eminent graduation
with brunch in the grand dining room at

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Flatley Hall. The lush, red
and gold draperies that cover every wall of

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the Flatley Hall Dining Room help to
dampen the sound of the hundreds of people

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dining here. The high ceilings are
also draped in rich textiles, not only

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muffling the celebrations happening below, but
giving the entire room the feeling of a

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decadent tent soon to be grad sit
surrounded by their proud families at round and

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rectangular tables and excitedly discuss their post
graduation plans. Eddie's Tterrenomia is seated at

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the very center table, beaming at
her granddaughter Ashley. Please introduce your character.

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Bell is an assam art, but
you wouldn't know that she's not human

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at first glance. Like maybe her
ears are slightly more pointed than you'd expect.

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That could be just like regular genetic
variation in anyway, Most of the

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time her hair is covering it but
you know, it's not like she has

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big wings sprouting from her back or
a halo perpetually floating overhead. Her angelic

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nature doesn't show in such obvious ways, but instead it's found in the sweetness

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of her smile, the grace with
which she moves her body, the thick

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luster of her hair, and the
fact that she like never gets a blemish

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on her skin. She is of
average height. She carries herself with a

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poise that implies that she is both
a a dancer and b has never ever

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ever been told to know by anybody
who matters. In her entire life.

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Everything about her is soft, so
she has soft curves all over her body,

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soft curves in her hair, soft
dusting of metallic colored freckles across her

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face. Her hair is like I
said, thick waves. It tumbles around

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her head, coming to a swishy
stop just above her shoulders. Her skin

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is a light brown and her hair
is like a dark brown, but there

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are chunky blonde highlights just sort of
mixed throughout. There is a pink streak

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in the back of her hair,
and it's clear that she did try to

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sort of cover it up for the
sake of the special occasion and it wasn't

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going well, so she just fully
gave up. So she's owning it.

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She's owning it. She's like yes
and a pink streak. So we know

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that Belle is here with Eddie,
with her great grandmother. Who else is

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she with? Who else isn't she
with? So her entire family has come.

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She's the first child to have been
born since the fall of the autocracy,

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so this is a big deal.
So her parents are here, her

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great grandmother is here, uncle's cousins, you know, anybody who is related

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to her in some capacity has definitely
shown up in style. They're ready,

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they're ready to celebrate. But most
importantly is of course great Grandma, who

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she just calls grandma, because who
has time for greats? Grandma? You

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know, you're great. And then
of course her mom Rita and her dad

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Mint and so yeah, they just
like fully took over a massive table in

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the dining hall. There's a lot
of talking over each other. There's big

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hand gestures. There is glitter everywhere. It's where is the glitter coming from?

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Maybe? You know, some people
they breathe and outcomes carbon dioxide,

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and some people they breathe and outcomes
sparkles. It's normal, don't question it.

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So I assume you're you're sitting closer
to great Grandma and your mom and

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your dad. Yes, So generally
the family has like everybody's important kind of

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vibe. So it's not like,
oh, great Grandma's always at the head

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of the table, right, But
in this instance, like it's Bells special

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day and great Grandma is great Grandma, so she gets to pick where she's

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sitting. And she's sitting next to
Belle. Okay, so great Grandma is

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going to look over you and just
like stroke your hand. My darling,

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girl, you are so beautiful.
Oh thanks, Grandma. I just I'm

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I am just so proud of you. Tell me, darling, what did

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you get up to last night?
Oh my god, Grandma? Okay,

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so you know how we have the
sponsor from fairy Powder. Plus well the

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new shipman just came in last night, so me and the girls we went

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out. We had an amazing time. We danced all night long. I

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don't actually remember any of it,
but I know that we had a great

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time. My girl. If if
you don't remember what happened last night,

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how are your friends doing today?
Oh? Well, okay, so like

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I'm fine because you know angelic,
but I used mom's hangover cure and like

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made it in a big batch,
passed it out first thing this morning.

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Everybody, totally fine. Your Your
mom on hearing this, beams at you

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because she's she's very proud of that
hangover cure that she taught you when you

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were very young, probably alarmingly probably
alarmingly on and she she just that's that's

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my girl. I'm I'm so partying
like your mother. I just couldn't be

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happier. Tell me, did you
did you remember to make sure to include

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the the cayenne pepper and that hangover
cure? Reroll a history check to see

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if you remember your mother's recipe.
Sure, let's check it out. That

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is a sixteen. Yeah, okay, you remember your mom's recipe. Chok

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you It may have chicken you a
couple of minutes, but but you remembered

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it. Yeah. I'm just I'm
so And the cayenne is just it's it's

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just such an important part of the
recipe. Oh no, I I mom,

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I totally remember the cayenne pepper.
I remembered all the steps. I

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remember to like spin it three times
in one direction. And the fourth time

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in the other direction, and just
to make sure everybody's breath was extra fresh,

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I added a little bit of parsley. Parsley. Yeah, you know

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that parsley causes bloating in this recipe? I yeah, of course I knew

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that it brought me a deception check
sure, okay, yeah at seventeen plus

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four twenty one twenty one will definitely
get it. Your mom, your mom

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believes that you know the Parsley causes
bloating. Yeah, a mom, of

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course I know that. But just
in case I didn't know that, what

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remind what was the you know,
not that I would ever make the mistake,

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but what was the the solution for
that for bloating? Yeah, with

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the with parsley specifically, it's water. It's just water, you know this,

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Yeah, you know, just all
the pixie powder. Yeah, definitely

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knew that. Yes, great,
Yeah, So, like I gave it

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to them and then I was like, drink lots of water, and Belle

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is going to take out like a
piece like a napkin, and she's just

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going to write. I don't know
where she pulled it from, but she

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has like one of these pink glitter
gel pens. With like the big feather

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on it, and she's gonna write
in super bubbly handwriting like water now,

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and it's gonna be like the cutest, sparkliest handwriting. And it's just the

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now is underline, underline, underline, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation

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mark. And I assume that like
there's there's servers, but also just wherever

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Grandma is, there's unseen servants just
like around. So Belle's just gonna be

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like, give this to Brittany right
now, please, thank you. So

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the slip of paper is going to
leave your hand and justkind of like float

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across the room. Yeah, and
do you do you also need to be

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drinking water for this? I think
I think no, because I have like

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the angelic. I probably didn't need
the hangover cure. That's my but you

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know what, yeah, I think
no, now that you say it,

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Belle definitely took the cure just to
be extra safe because like the big performance

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was today, and then she's like, and now to be extra extra extra

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safe, I'm going to be so
hydrated. So you're you're you're drinking some

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water and your little note is floated
away. Meanwhile, your your father mint,

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your dad Mint. Yes, Mint, Mint is sitting at the table

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on the other side of you,
and you've all ordered, but because you

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have such a large party and because
the dining room is so very busy,

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your food hasn't arrived yet, and
your dad is looking around the room and

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he's just like checking out what everybody
else in the room is eating and doing

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that thing. We're like, oh, I could have ordered that. Plate

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envy, clearly, yeah, big
plate envy. But also just like hungry

200
00:16:08.360 --> 00:16:12.559
your dad is. He's not a
big guy. He just has a really

201
00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:17.559
fast metabolism. He is you.
You don't remember very many times in your

202
00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:21.279
life where he didn't have like a
snack in his pocket. He's got like

203
00:16:21.320 --> 00:16:23.799
a little ice box under his desk
where he can keep his snacks and stuff.

204
00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:27.120
So like when she was growing up, like Mint always had treats for

205
00:16:27.159 --> 00:16:30.320
her, and she was like,
oh my god, this is the best.

206
00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:33.320
And then she got older and realized
that the treats were not they were

207
00:16:33.480 --> 00:16:38.399
just always around exactly. So he's
looking around and his eyes land on a

208
00:16:38.440 --> 00:16:42.080
plate of grapes, which are one
of his favorite foods, and he's going

209
00:16:42.120 --> 00:16:47.120
to point at the dish across the
room and wait until the people at that

210
00:16:47.159 --> 00:16:51.200
table seem distracted, and then he's
just going to have a cluster of grapes

211
00:16:51.279 --> 00:16:56.240
kind of levitate across the room and
land on his plate. Have you seen

212
00:16:56.279 --> 00:17:00.120
your dad do things like this before? Oh? Yeah, this is very

213
00:17:00.159 --> 00:17:06.319
normal. And she's probably gonna be
like dad and he's gonna shove a handful

214
00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:10.960
of grapes in his mouth, like
is it okay? Nobody saw me?

215
00:17:11.440 --> 00:17:17.440
Right? Nobody nobody saw me?
Yeah, I guess, And she's gonna

216
00:17:17.480 --> 00:17:19.960
reach over and like take a grape
because like he already stole them, right,

217
00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:22.680
So, and he's gonna like wink
at you while you do that.

218
00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:29.359
So tell me about all are the
plans for the festival going. Oh,

219
00:17:30.119 --> 00:17:33.519
they're going super good. So I
don't know if you got the confirmation last

220
00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:37.680
week, but Third Mice Blind is
confirmed they're going to be performing. I

221
00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:41.599
do remember seeing something about that he's
like just shoving grapes in his mouth,

222
00:17:41.079 --> 00:17:45.039
But I don't I'm not really familiar
with that band. Could you could you

223
00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:45.960
tell me a little bit what they're
like so we can figure out where to

224
00:17:45.960 --> 00:17:48.440
put them on the lineup. Oh
my god, they're so good. They're

225
00:17:48.480 --> 00:17:53.200
like three Mousefolk right, and they
come out and they like come on stage

226
00:17:53.240 --> 00:17:56.920
and they're like, oh, we
can't see anything. Where are our instruments?

227
00:17:57.000 --> 00:18:00.839
But then they're like, whaw,
we know exactly where instruments are.

228
00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:04.160
And then they start playing like the
keyboards with their tails and they have like

229
00:18:04.200 --> 00:18:08.680
this whole bit. It's amazing.
My friends love them. Everybody's gonna love

230
00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:15.720
them. They're great. Certainly sounds
interesting. Hold on one second, and

231
00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:19.200
he's just going to like pull his
napkin up over his plate and kind of

232
00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:26.759
wave his hand and then what had
been an almost entirely bare stem of grapes

233
00:18:26.960 --> 00:18:30.000
now is full of grapes. Again, he shoves another hand full of grapes

234
00:18:30.039 --> 00:18:37.079
in his mouth. His grapes have
multiplied. And after that, So I

235
00:18:37.559 --> 00:18:40.519
know that booking the whole festival is
not on you, But you did say

236
00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:42.519
that you wanted to like have a
big part in this this year. So

237
00:18:42.839 --> 00:18:48.039
who else have you lined up?
Okay? So I don't know yet if

238
00:18:48.039 --> 00:18:49.880
she's gonna be able to come for
the first week or the second week,

239
00:18:51.160 --> 00:18:59.920
but we're gonna have Lizard Lizard,
who, oh my god, Lizard.

240
00:19:00.039 --> 00:19:06.319
You have to know Lizard. Okay, she's the one who just came out

241
00:19:06.319 --> 00:19:08.960
with the clothing line. That's like
for all body types, right, Mom,

242
00:19:10.039 --> 00:19:15.440
come on mom, Yeah, of
course, Darling. You know she's

243
00:19:15.480 --> 00:19:18.599
the one who toorks and plays tambourine. Yes, yes, she does all

244
00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:25.759
of it, wall singing. It's
super intense. It sounds fascinating. Anybody

245
00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:29.240
else what I should know about.
I mean like a whole bunch. I

246
00:19:29.240 --> 00:19:32.920
mean, hold on, we have
fun, and then we have like the

247
00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:37.480
third stage, and then there's the
I keep trying to get one of my

248
00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:41.359
classmates to perform, but he's like, oh, I don't know if it's

249
00:19:41.039 --> 00:19:45.400
time for me to take the platform
when the platform should be peace or whatever.

250
00:19:47.039 --> 00:19:49.799
But all together, and she starts
like adding up on her fingers,

251
00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:53.799
but then she runs out of fingers, and she like has this moment where

252
00:19:53.839 --> 00:20:00.640
she doesn't know what to do,
and then she just reaches to were left

253
00:20:00.680 --> 00:20:04.039
where like some random aunt her uncle
is and just like picks up their hand

254
00:20:04.119 --> 00:20:08.839
and starts counting on their fingers.
They don't seem to mind, and then

255
00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:14.519
she's like, yeah, I think
we have like twenty five so far.

256
00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:19.079
That's that's really impressive. That's like
just shoving grapes in his mouth. That's

257
00:20:19.119 --> 00:20:25.160
not almost half of what you need
for the first weekend. Yeah. Thanks,

258
00:20:25.480 --> 00:20:26.440
So, I mean, and tell
me if you want me to take

259
00:20:26.440 --> 00:20:29.599
this one over, because I'm more
than happy too. But I know you

260
00:20:29.640 --> 00:20:33.880
said you were gonna you're gonna try
to reach out to fall mccartfrey his people.

261
00:20:33.079 --> 00:20:38.480
How's that going? Oh my god, Dad, we met like over

262
00:20:38.519 --> 00:20:47.720
spring break and he is so cute, like really sweet. So retro retro,

263
00:20:48.440 --> 00:20:53.759
yeah, like like good retro,
you know, like like when you

264
00:20:55.200 --> 00:21:03.400
have a thing that's not new anymore, but like good red, like you

265
00:21:03.480 --> 00:21:08.720
know that, like like your old
gramophone, like it's not new, but

266
00:21:08.839 --> 00:21:15.039
everyone loves it. I mean,
I still struggle to think that the youth

267
00:21:15.039 --> 00:21:18.160
of my the music of my youth
is is that retro? But I mean

268
00:21:18.279 --> 00:21:22.200
I guess I am. And he
starts to do the same thing you were

269
00:21:22.200 --> 00:21:23.640
doing, where he's like counting on
his fingers and runs out of fingers.

270
00:21:23.640 --> 00:21:29.759
It's like, you know what,
never mind, I have another grape,

271
00:21:29.799 --> 00:21:33.200
Dad, great idea, And he's
just not a grape, but like another

272
00:21:33.240 --> 00:21:37.920
handful of grapes that just keep replenishing
themselves on his plate, shoves another handful

273
00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:42.559
of grapes in his mouth. Is
I'm very proud of your bell or you

274
00:21:42.640 --> 00:21:48.640
are a very impression of young woman. Thank you, oh dad. So

275
00:21:49.480 --> 00:21:52.920
you're gonna kind of like do the
little side hug lean over to him,

276
00:21:53.440 --> 00:22:00.599
and as you're doing that, your
food is arriving. What did order?

277
00:22:00.599 --> 00:22:06.160
Okay, so after everybody knows,
after a long night of partying, you

278
00:22:06.359 --> 00:22:10.960
need carbs. So she has a
whole stack of waffles. There is more

279
00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:14.279
syrup on it than waffles, and
she's like adding more syrup as she goes.

280
00:22:14.759 --> 00:22:18.599
She also has ordered a lot of
leafy greens with like an absurd amount

281
00:22:18.599 --> 00:22:25.599
of nuts and berries and like every
trendy superfood that you can imagine all combined

282
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:33.079
into just like this nightmare salad on
top of the waffles. And then just

283
00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:37.599
to make sure it goes down easy, there's definitely powdered sugar on top of

284
00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:41.240
all of it. So, stack
of waffles, yeah, stack of leafy

285
00:22:41.240 --> 00:22:45.640
greens, yeap, nuts, berries, seeds, et cetera, all the

286
00:22:45.680 --> 00:22:51.880
superfoods, powdered sugar. Yeah.
So that sounds horrific. Mm hm.

287
00:22:52.200 --> 00:22:56.079
And at the same time, your
grandmother looks at your plate, picks up

288
00:22:56.079 --> 00:22:59.960
a fork and just like puts a
fork right in the middle of your plate.

289
00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:03.839
Yes, yes, Grandma, Yes, your mother and father are aghast

290
00:23:03.920 --> 00:23:07.440
at this. As much as your
father loves food, this, this is

291
00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:12.519
taking all the things he loves and
making it in an abomination. So Grandma

292
00:23:12.720 --> 00:23:17.680
takes it. She's like, Grandma
probably introduced you to this style of eating,

293
00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:23.400
but mom and dad are just aghast
actually in a real me a perception

294
00:23:23.519 --> 00:23:32.880
check, that is that one?
Oh God, getting getting the bad roles

295
00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:37.480
out early? Okay, so that
one in the game, right, first

296
00:23:37.640 --> 00:23:41.440
first, not one of the campaign. Yeah yeah, nobody else has had

297
00:23:41.480 --> 00:23:47.400
a chance to roll one yet you're
you were first. So so what you

298
00:23:47.480 --> 00:23:51.519
don't notice is that the room is
starting to empty and it's getting quieter.

299
00:23:52.119 --> 00:23:57.400
Instead, you just keep like digging
in to your your plate of food.

300
00:23:57.440 --> 00:24:02.960
Oh yeah, Dad, you really
need to try those. It's so wrong.

301
00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:08.279
Dad looks at you like, you
know what, I don't know?

302
00:24:08.559 --> 00:24:12.559
Good. It's like the first time
you've ever heard your father turn down food.

303
00:24:14.599 --> 00:24:18.119
Belle takes up personally, She's like, she stops, she's wrong,

304
00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:22.880
No, Dad, she SIPs some
water. I mean it, like,

305
00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:30.960
have I ever steered you wrong?
No, I've not try some I think

306
00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:41.039
that's gonna require a persuasion check.
All right, that is seventeen plus five,

307
00:24:41.319 --> 00:24:45.160
so twenty two. Yeah, that's
definitely gonna be enough. Yeah,

308
00:24:45.319 --> 00:24:49.160
eat it, eat it. So
Dad is going to tentatively kind of reach

309
00:24:49.240 --> 00:24:55.200
his fork out onto your plate,
and he's gonna like stare at it as

310
00:24:55.240 --> 00:24:56.839
it's coming toward his mouth, like
you can't believe that he's going to do

311
00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:00.759
this, Like this is a man
who loves food, and this seems to

312
00:25:00.839 --> 00:25:03.519
be stick himself up. This is
this is anathem out of everything he believes

313
00:25:03.559 --> 00:25:07.559
in, Like he loves food so
much, and this is this is a

314
00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:14.440
travesty, but still, like he
said he would try it, and he's

315
00:25:14.440 --> 00:25:18.440
gonna pitch his nose shut and put
the fork in his mouth and like give

316
00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:23.799
it a couple of chews and like
unpinch his nose, because when you have

317
00:25:23.839 --> 00:25:26.240
your nose pinched shut, it affect
like how things taste. So he's gonna

318
00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:30.599
unpinch it to be like, is
that actually as good as what I think

319
00:25:30.599 --> 00:25:38.640
I'm tasting? He's gonna unpitch his
nose, haw, what what's actually delicious?

320
00:25:38.799 --> 00:25:44.519
I have to imagine that both Bell
and her grandmother are like leaning forward

321
00:25:44.519 --> 00:25:48.400
in there. So he's like,
ah ah, you're right, Bell,

322
00:25:49.000 --> 00:25:53.839
Yes, and instead of reaching on
it, likes to take another fork fall

323
00:25:53.880 --> 00:25:56.519
off of your plate again, He's
just going to like magic some of the

324
00:25:56.519 --> 00:26:00.920
food off of your plate and onto
his. Yeah, so the room has

325
00:26:02.200 --> 00:26:06.759
completely emptied out. The servers aren't
even like coming around to check on you

326
00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:11.519
to bring more food. Not that
we even notice, because my dad just

327
00:26:11.640 --> 00:26:17.160
keeps refilling. He just keeps refilling
the food. At some point, a

328
00:26:17.319 --> 00:26:21.279
check floats onto the table with that
nat one. You don't notice the check

329
00:26:21.960 --> 00:26:25.119
the table. We're all just we're
eating, we're talking, we're gesticulating,

330
00:26:25.240 --> 00:26:30.720
we're glittering. So so after check
has been on the table for several minutes

331
00:26:30.759 --> 00:26:34.160
now, and the doors fly open, and Brittany is going to come just

332
00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:41.440
racing and we're running very very late. What are you? What are you

333
00:26:41.599 --> 00:26:44.720
doing? We're supposed to be dancing
on the stage and graduation in four and

334
00:26:44.759 --> 00:26:55.519
a half minutes. Ah what dancing
graduation four and a half minutes? Okay,

335
00:26:55.720 --> 00:27:00.039
Okay, sure, And she's just
gonna like finish the like mouth like

336
00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:04.039
the forkfold that she hasn't think.
I'm gonna mom, dad, Grandma,

337
00:27:04.599 --> 00:27:08.079
everybody else. I love you.
I gotta go bye, And as you

338
00:27:08.119 --> 00:27:11.960
start to stand up, your grandmother
is going to reach up for your arms.

339
00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:18.079
Wait, but bell, where where
are we supposed to sit today?

340
00:27:18.799 --> 00:27:22.799
She just like swallows and she's like, I don't know. I like,

341
00:27:23.720 --> 00:27:26.599
you're fancy person, so probably near
the front, Like I don't know,

342
00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:30.240
they're gonna put your names on the
chairs or something. What happens if there

343
00:27:30.279 --> 00:27:33.799
aren't enough seats for all of us, then you go to the other seats

344
00:27:33.839 --> 00:27:38.000
for all the regular people. Or
I guess you're you're fine, You're fine,

345
00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:40.519
You're fine. I gotta go.
I love you, I love you,

346
00:27:40.599 --> 00:27:42.559
I love you. Bye An.
Then your father is going to reach

347
00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:47.640
up and hold you by there's like
wait, when you talk to val mcartfridge

348
00:27:47.720 --> 00:27:55.160
people, did they tell you about
I have to go? Yeah, I

349
00:27:55.200 --> 00:27:57.920
love you, I'm very proud of
you. We'll show you back here for

350
00:27:57.960 --> 00:28:02.640
dinner after graduat cause he chats by
eye, She's like, like, do

351
00:28:02.640 --> 00:28:06.759
you mean air kisses? She does, like turns around and as she's like

352
00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:10.160
air kissing, she's backing away so
that people can stop grabbing her arm.

353
00:28:10.200 --> 00:28:18.759
And then she turns around and sprints
out of the room across the cobblestone square

354
00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:22.880
from Flatley Hall. Things are unusually
quiet and Enchanted Grounds the normally bustling coffee

355
00:28:22.880 --> 00:28:27.200
shop known for its strong, bruised
and weekly open mic nights. Enchanted Grounds

356
00:28:27.200 --> 00:28:33.119
occupies an Oligarchy era building, impressively
square, clad in slabs of gray stone

357
00:28:33.160 --> 00:28:36.960
on the outside and white brick on
the inside. To soften the severity of

358
00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:40.880
the space, the owners of Enchanted
Grounds have filled it with color and texture

359
00:28:41.400 --> 00:28:45.039
over stuff. Velvet sofas in bright
jewel tones and nest like chairs are clustered

360
00:28:45.079 --> 00:28:48.319
around tables built to be the perfect
height for the seats surrounding them. The

361
00:28:48.400 --> 00:28:52.359
walls are hung with both vintage chapestries
and new art by Major and Marshall students,

362
00:28:52.599 --> 00:28:56.559
and a wood burning stove in the
corner has been enchanted to keep the

363
00:28:56.640 --> 00:29:00.759
room at the perfect temperature, no
matter this season. Behind an ornately carved

364
00:29:00.799 --> 00:29:06.039
wooden counter standing on several overturned milk
rates, a young woman is scribbling in

365
00:29:06.079 --> 00:29:12.640
a journal. Anne, can you
please introduce your character? So Clarice is

366
00:29:14.480 --> 00:29:21.559
quite small, under three feet tall, petite in a sort of other species.

367
00:29:21.599 --> 00:29:25.680
She would be seen as a child
by her size, maybe sixty pounds,

368
00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:34.119
wet She has very dark features,
eyes that are technically brown but look

369
00:29:34.799 --> 00:29:41.759
shiny black. Her hair is just
as dark, pined, straight, aggressively

370
00:29:41.799 --> 00:29:47.319
straight. She couldn't get it to
curl if she tried. It's at a

371
00:29:47.480 --> 00:29:55.880
sharp angle to cut bob, and
each of her features seems to be fighting

372
00:29:56.000 --> 00:30:04.799
to look sharper, competing to have
a more sharpened edge than the next pointed

373
00:30:04.920 --> 00:30:11.400
chin. Anything that's soft, she
seems to add a bright color to or

374
00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:18.480
a dark color, so her lips
are often covered in dark lipliner and things

375
00:30:18.519 --> 00:30:22.680
to sort of harshen her features.
She wants to look fierce even with all

376
00:30:22.720 --> 00:30:27.799
this effort. She's somebody who can
easily blend into a crowd. She's a

377
00:30:27.799 --> 00:30:33.480
bit of a social chameleon. She
likes reading the room and watching from afar.

378
00:30:34.200 --> 00:30:38.039
But she also could have easily been
a child pickpocket had she been born

379
00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:48.880
into a different life. She is
very sarcastic. Her voice is clearly an

380
00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:52.920
intentional affect, not how she was
raised to speak, nor is it how

381
00:30:52.920 --> 00:31:02.480
she would talk in her sleep.
She is feminine in her body, but

382
00:31:03.039 --> 00:31:10.799
enjoys contrasts, just as the colors
and angles of her intentional appearance show off

383
00:31:11.200 --> 00:31:15.640
and so She likes to be a
little tougher than is necessary, a little

384
00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:23.319
bit harsher with her jokes than the
situation calls for. She doesn't say much

385
00:31:25.480 --> 00:31:29.359
when she first encounters people, but
she does like to play a little game

386
00:31:29.400 --> 00:31:33.920
with herself when folks enter the coffee
shop of trying to guess their order before

387
00:31:33.960 --> 00:31:37.759
they make it. So because the
coffee shop is so empty, there's nobody

388
00:31:37.759 --> 00:31:42.960
in there right now, and Clarice
is writing in her journal is what is

389
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:48.559
she writing? Clarice is in the
middle of a pro and con list about

390
00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:53.720
whether or not she should continue with
her plans to join the party that she's

391
00:31:53.759 --> 00:32:01.839
been planning to join. Crise has
a lot of thoughts and very little feeling

392
00:32:01.960 --> 00:32:05.839
when it comes to what her next
steps are. She's sort of lost track

393
00:32:05.880 --> 00:32:10.160
of her gut because she's had so
many conversations and so many people trying to

394
00:32:10.200 --> 00:32:15.920
influence and change her thinking. Right
now, her plan is to go adventuring

395
00:32:16.079 --> 00:32:22.880
for a couple of years, to
get to Noah Orvara, and to live

396
00:32:22.640 --> 00:32:29.640
as her own person, not under
the shadow of her parents. But as

397
00:32:29.680 --> 00:32:32.680
she writes these pro and con lists, you can see she's organized it into

398
00:32:32.880 --> 00:32:39.160
four columns. One for each of
the political parties of the nation, and

399
00:32:39.240 --> 00:32:47.440
one for a completely different path forging
a new future. The enchanted grounds owner,

400
00:32:47.839 --> 00:32:53.319
who is a Cobald named Strung brew
Chaser, comes out from the back

401
00:32:53.480 --> 00:32:59.839
of the coffee shop. She is
tall only by the standards of Clarice.

402
00:33:00.599 --> 00:33:06.400
She is loud and boisterous and has
been a very kind boss to Clarice and

403
00:33:06.440 --> 00:33:09.359
often tries to get Clarice to open
up to her, but Clarice has not

404
00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:15.680
yet really revealed much of who she
is too strong. Strung stops as she

405
00:33:15.720 --> 00:33:22.400
walks into the front part of the
coffee shop and almost seems startled to see

406
00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:28.319
Clarice there. Oh, Clarie,
I forgot that you were here today.

407
00:33:29.759 --> 00:33:37.200
Yeah, I mean I really appreciate
your offering double overtime, so I'm in

408
00:33:37.359 --> 00:33:38.799
well, yes, I mean,
nobody ever wants to work on graduation.

409
00:33:39.079 --> 00:33:43.960
I was very surprised to learn that
you wanted to work on graduation, seeing

410
00:33:44.039 --> 00:33:49.359
it is it's your graduation here.
Yeah, I mean, it's no big

411
00:33:49.400 --> 00:33:52.799
deal. I'm happy to be here
and like it's so nice when it's quiet

412
00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:59.039
in here and you can just think, you know, I mean, I

413
00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:01.000
don't really like what it's quiet in
here because it's my business and I need

414
00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:04.319
the business to be doing well.
But if you like the quiet, that's

415
00:34:04.359 --> 00:34:09.079
fine. Are you quite sure that
you're okay with missing out on your graduation?

416
00:34:09.960 --> 00:34:14.840
Oh yeah, I mean my parents
aren't even there, like I told

417
00:34:14.880 --> 00:34:19.679
them not to come. It's fine, And obviously, like I want to

418
00:34:19.719 --> 00:34:24.199
make that money, yeah, because
I do. I do pay you quite

419
00:34:24.280 --> 00:34:29.480
generously here. You're the best,
aren't you. Aren't you concerned about missing

420
00:34:29.519 --> 00:34:34.679
out on this memory? I mean, what are they going to have like

421
00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:38.719
five politicians giving pompous speeches up there? We've heard it all. It's not

422
00:34:38.760 --> 00:34:43.639
like they're going to say something new. What about your friends? What about

423
00:34:43.719 --> 00:34:47.000
just celebrating your last four years?
This is quite an accomplishment. Oh oh,

424
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:53.199
you're so sweet. No it's not. It's not an accomplishment, but

425
00:34:53.280 --> 00:35:02.719
it really is. I thanks.
I think yes, that is the appropriate

426
00:35:02.760 --> 00:35:07.000
response. Here. You're welcome.
If you don't need me for anything,

427
00:35:07.119 --> 00:35:12.519
I'm going to head a graduation myself. My niece is graduating today. I'm

428
00:35:12.519 --> 00:35:15.599
just gonna grab my purse in the
back and I'll look out the back door.

429
00:35:15.719 --> 00:35:21.679
So enjoy the quiet. I guess, thank you. It's the best.

430
00:35:21.920 --> 00:35:24.760
But like if anybody comes in,
I promise I'll like upsells the pastry.

431
00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:30.880
Okay, thank you, Clarice.
You have a nice day. Into

432
00:35:31.679 --> 00:35:38.079
so strung turns and walks out.
You hear her footsteps, receding, pausing

433
00:35:38.119 --> 00:35:42.679
while she grabs her things from the
back, and then continuing out the back

434
00:35:42.719 --> 00:35:46.079
door. Once you're sure she's gone, you notice that there was a letter

435
00:35:46.280 --> 00:35:51.440
that she put on the counter,
addressed to you, delivered to the coffee

436
00:35:51.440 --> 00:35:57.000
shop, not delivered to your dormitory. Do you open the letter? Yes,

437
00:35:57.320 --> 00:36:02.440
but I first get a little bit
of water bubbly heat up just in

438
00:36:02.519 --> 00:36:07.880
the tea kettle, and I'm gonna
steam it open, just in case I

439
00:36:07.880 --> 00:36:14.400
need to reseal it. Okay,
why don't you roll a let's call that

440
00:36:14.440 --> 00:36:23.960
a performance check. That is fourteen. You get it about three quarters of

441
00:36:24.039 --> 00:36:30.199
the way steamed open, and then
just as you're getting to that last couple

442
00:36:30.239 --> 00:36:36.639
of inches, your finger slips and
you damn it the corner. Whatever.

443
00:36:36.880 --> 00:36:39.920
It's funny, all right. So
you have this letter, You open it

444
00:36:40.440 --> 00:36:51.000
and you recognize your mother's handwriting.
I begin to read, sighing deeply.

445
00:36:51.760 --> 00:36:54.679
That's I go, dear Clarice,
We're sorry. We couldn't be there for

446
00:36:54.760 --> 00:36:58.320
you today, but not really because
you told us not to come and to

447
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:01.239
take a vacation instead. We were
unsure about whether to surprise you at your

448
00:37:01.239 --> 00:37:06.079
commencement anyway, but things have been
so stressful in Platysma and our preparations for

449
00:37:06.119 --> 00:37:08.079
the upcoming election, so we decided
to take you at your word that you

450
00:37:08.079 --> 00:37:12.559
wouldn't be upset with us for not
being in shallowmere seabright, really is so

451
00:37:12.719 --> 00:37:15.440
lovely this time of year, And
besides, you know how your father and

452
00:37:15.480 --> 00:37:21.400
I generally shook formal ceremonies. I
understand that gideonstorm Collar is the commencement speaker

453
00:37:21.440 --> 00:37:23.480
this year. He called on your
father last time he was in Platycima,

454
00:37:23.519 --> 00:37:27.360
and he really is a lovely man, even if I don't see eye to

455
00:37:27.400 --> 00:37:30.920
eye with him on well most things. Really. Your father says to tell

456
00:37:30.960 --> 00:37:34.559
him hello if you have the opportunity, but I don't suppose you will,

457
00:37:34.559 --> 00:37:37.920
seeing as you're probably shirking the graduation
for seedings yourself, like parents, like

458
00:37:38.000 --> 00:37:42.800
daughter, I suppose. And on
that note, Darling, your father and

459
00:37:42.800 --> 00:37:45.280
I were wondering whether you had yet
decided whether you were clerking with me for

460
00:37:45.320 --> 00:37:49.360
the greens or with your father for
the violets. When you return to Platycima

461
00:37:49.440 --> 00:37:52.559
and start clerking at the bus Ro
group. We don't want to put any

462
00:37:52.559 --> 00:37:54.239
pressure on you at all, and
as you know, we're quite open to

463
00:37:54.239 --> 00:37:58.239
you starting a third branch if you're
more interested in working with the corals.

464
00:37:58.280 --> 00:38:00.440
But of course we would need to
bring someone in as your supervisor, because

465
00:38:00.599 --> 00:38:04.039
as much as we love and trust
you, we don't think you're ready to

466
00:38:04.039 --> 00:38:07.039
assume operations for an entire new division. In any case, we want to

467
00:38:07.079 --> 00:38:09.679
know where to set up your desk
and which clients to assign to you,

468
00:38:10.239 --> 00:38:15.119
or whether we need to start looking
for a supervisor for you. After all,

469
00:38:15.320 --> 00:38:19.320
you do start next week. I
hear your father calling me from the

470
00:38:19.320 --> 00:38:22.800
other room. I think it's time
for our spa appointment. So that's all

471
00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:24.800
for now. Do right back and
let me know your thoughts when you have

472
00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:30.440
a moment. Ah, my love, MJ. Bussborough esquire And then that

473
00:38:30.519 --> 00:38:34.719
bottom part the signature is scratched out
and the words your mother are written over

474
00:38:34.760 --> 00:38:37.199
the scribble, followed by a PostScript, sorry darling, have it see you

475
00:38:37.239 --> 00:38:46.639
next week. Classic clarice. Upon
reading this takes a deep breath, rips

476
00:38:46.920 --> 00:38:58.400
a piece of paper out of her
journal, and begins drafting a reply.

477
00:38:58.920 --> 00:39:08.639
She gets to you mom in Dear
Mom and scribbles it out MJ No.

478
00:39:09.320 --> 00:39:15.880
She scribbles it out again. As
she's staring at this piece of paper before

479
00:39:15.920 --> 00:39:25.800
her, she hears the bells of
the front door open, and a tall,

480
00:39:25.960 --> 00:39:31.519
elderly half well wearing academic robes walks
toward the counter. Do you recognize

481
00:39:31.559 --> 00:39:40.480
this person? Roll an intelligence check
fourteen, so you know that this is

482
00:39:42.239 --> 00:39:51.800
doctor Sink. Doctor Sink is the
dean at Broxton College. You don't really

483
00:39:51.840 --> 00:39:55.519
know much about Broxton College. You've
really kept to yourself for the last few

484
00:39:55.599 --> 00:40:01.199
years. But although doctor Sink is
a frequent visitor of enchanted Grounds, you

485
00:40:01.239 --> 00:40:12.960
find yourself unable to remember his order. Hi us it is it? Remind

486
00:40:13.039 --> 00:40:16.079
me what can I get for you, darling girl. That is so kind

487
00:40:16.079 --> 00:40:20.039
of you to ask. I'm running
quite late, but I was hoping.

488
00:40:20.199 --> 00:40:22.360
I know, I know, I
know that it's springtime and this is this

489
00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:25.199
is perhaps a tollloader. And again
I am running quite late. So tell

490
00:40:25.199 --> 00:40:28.880
me if this is not possible,
and we'll figure something else out. But

491
00:40:28.920 --> 00:40:32.239
I would like to have a Mage's
Wintry Mix. Are you are you familiar?

492
00:40:32.280 --> 00:40:37.280
Do you do? You know that
one? It's an eighteen eighteen,

493
00:40:38.159 --> 00:40:45.039
So you remember that this is a
cocktail, a coffee cocktail, because that's

494
00:40:45.079 --> 00:40:50.920
that's how it's positioned at the at
the what of the morning? It's five

495
00:40:50.920 --> 00:40:54.000
o'clock somewhere, right it is.
It's a little bit before ten in the

496
00:40:54.000 --> 00:41:02.960
morning, doctor, you know parents, So it comes kind of flooding back

497
00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:07.159
to you, like, oh right, that's that's why I see this man

498
00:41:07.239 --> 00:41:10.800
frequently because he always has a little
something extra that he puts into his coffee

499
00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:14.800
in the mornings on his way to
class. But it's actually something different every

500
00:41:14.800 --> 00:41:20.360
time because he's worried that like he's
going to perhaps be called out on it.

501
00:41:20.480 --> 00:41:27.039
So the Major's Wintry Mix is a
quadruple espresso with a shot of caramel

502
00:41:27.719 --> 00:41:32.800
and a raspberry essenced liqueur. This
is not something that you ever have available

503
00:41:32.800 --> 00:41:39.840
in the spring, because who wants
a caramel cocktail coffee cocktail at ten o'clock

504
00:41:39.840 --> 00:41:45.480
in the morning when it's a beautiful, sunny, warm day outside. So

505
00:41:45.519 --> 00:41:47.679
you know that you're going to have
to go out to the back to get

506
00:41:47.719 --> 00:41:58.639
these ingredients. Clarice is going to
start brewing some espresso loose pack. She

507
00:41:58.800 --> 00:42:04.119
knows that the best espresso isn't incorrectly
tightly packed, and she's quite proud of

508
00:42:04.119 --> 00:42:10.599
this. So loosely packs the espresso, loads the machine, and then turns

509
00:42:10.599 --> 00:42:20.599
to him again and says, now, traditionally I would put some raspberry liqueur

510
00:42:20.800 --> 00:42:25.960
in there, but I'm wondering how
you would feel if I just got a

511
00:42:25.960 --> 00:42:34.079
little bit of my boss's cordial from
her office instead real persuasion. That was

512
00:42:34.119 --> 00:42:38.760
a natural twenty with my modifier of
six first of the campaign. So we've

513
00:42:39.039 --> 00:42:45.599
failed and hidden NAT twenty. All
right, nothing else to do. Bye,

514
00:42:45.599 --> 00:42:55.320
everyone. Doctor Sank leans over the
counter very conspiratorially to you and says,

515
00:42:57.639 --> 00:43:05.119
what kind of cordial? Give me
just a second. Clarice is gonna

516
00:43:05.559 --> 00:43:09.440
put one eye on the cash register
and make sure it's firmly closed, and

517
00:43:09.480 --> 00:43:15.440
then duck behind what I imagine is
like a bead curtain something like that,

518
00:43:19.400 --> 00:43:24.920
just around the corner. Okay,
roll an investigation check for me. That's

519
00:43:24.920 --> 00:43:32.800
a thirteen. So for with a
thirteen, you head back. Strung's office

520
00:43:32.960 --> 00:43:38.039
is just kind of off to the
side. It's not straight back. There's

521
00:43:38.119 --> 00:43:45.039
like the storage area and the little
kitchen, and then you've You've got Strung's

522
00:43:45.079 --> 00:43:51.199
office behind another door, so this
involves you having to move a little bit

523
00:43:51.199 --> 00:43:55.119
more off to the side. When
you get in there, you start to

524
00:43:55.159 --> 00:44:00.639
fish around looking for that hidden bottle
of cordial that you know Strung normally keeps

525
00:44:00.679 --> 00:44:08.440
in a drawer in her desk.
You don't see it there. You walk

526
00:44:08.480 --> 00:44:13.320
out of the office thinking maybe you
will just have to find that raspberry cordial.

527
00:44:13.360 --> 00:44:20.119
But you can still get away with
telling doctor Sink that it's the special

528
00:44:20.159 --> 00:44:23.679
cordial. It's just not that just
raspberry liqueur that's so generic. And as

529
00:44:23.719 --> 00:44:30.400
you start to walk back, rub
me another investigation check. That's of nine.

530
00:44:31.440 --> 00:44:38.000
Okay, with a nine. You
grab that bottle of raspberry liqueur,

531
00:44:39.320 --> 00:44:45.000
you put a hand over the label. You begin to walk back into the

532
00:44:45.039 --> 00:44:52.559
coffee shop, and we're going to
stop there. Across the alleyway from the

533
00:44:52.599 --> 00:44:57.639
back door of Enchanted Grounds is a
steep set of stone stairs. This is

534
00:44:57.679 --> 00:45:00.679
the entrance to your rode Hall,
one of the oldest and the most storied

535
00:45:00.679 --> 00:45:04.519
colleges at Maje and Marshall. Up
the stairs, across a portico and up

536
00:45:04.559 --> 00:45:07.559
another flight of stairs is the Eurote
Hall Reading room. The room is large

537
00:45:07.639 --> 00:45:10.480
and the wood paneling makes it feel
dark, but it is still filled with

538
00:45:10.519 --> 00:45:15.239
a filtered light. A southern facing
stained glass window casts violet and silver shapes

539
00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:19.480
across the room's flat surfaces, and
at the far end of the room,

540
00:45:19.679 --> 00:45:22.880
colorless flames rage in the enormous fireplace
known as the ever Hearth, but they

541
00:45:22.880 --> 00:45:27.440
give off no heat. A soul
figure sits at a table at the far

542
00:45:27.599 --> 00:45:31.599
end of the room. Ross who
are we meeting? Sitting over the desk

543
00:45:31.840 --> 00:45:42.960
is a red skinned young man with
pointed ears, reddish brown hair. His

544
00:45:43.079 --> 00:45:51.559
most noticeable feature is his yellow eyes. Andrew Carrol Hold is a Hobgoblin.

545
00:45:52.320 --> 00:45:57.639
He's the youngest of his siblings,
but he's and he's the most like his

546
00:45:57.800 --> 00:46:02.920
father in appearance, but the least
like him in temperament. On the desk

547
00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:09.039
you see three coffee cups. Two
of them are completely consumed, one of

548
00:46:09.039 --> 00:46:16.559
them is a work in progress and
a completely uneaten croissant. He looks over

549
00:46:16.719 --> 00:46:24.280
at the gramophone and the harps chord. Music that's coming from there stops for

550
00:46:24.320 --> 00:46:31.840
a moment, and then you see
the record levitate, flip over and presume

551
00:46:31.960 --> 00:46:38.360
on the other side. The room
smells of a little bit of nightshade.

552
00:46:39.039 --> 00:46:45.440
And Andrew pours over a stack of
parchment and on the top he is writing

553
00:46:45.519 --> 00:46:52.239
over and over again, Honus rest
and he's he just keeps looking at this

554
00:46:52.360 --> 00:46:59.199
tone, trying to make sense of
it all. What is the tone?

555
00:46:59.719 --> 00:47:07.960
It is is part of the archive
from the entire university library about the alumnus,

556
00:47:08.199 --> 00:47:12.920
the alumni. Because he has a
duty to do, and he wants

557
00:47:12.960 --> 00:47:16.039
to make sure he does it right. But something is frustrating him about it.

558
00:47:17.159 --> 00:47:23.639
What is frustrating? We came to
this place, if not remarkable on

559
00:47:23.679 --> 00:47:29.800
our own, then to do remarkable
things when we leave. And what he's

560
00:47:29.880 --> 00:47:35.840
reading, he's seeing a lot of
stuff that is not remarkable about the alumni.

561
00:47:36.960 --> 00:47:42.920
You'll never meet a greater adversary than
your own potential. It's your graduation

562
00:47:43.039 --> 00:47:46.320
day. Why are you sitting in
the reading room going over this? He

563
00:47:46.519 --> 00:47:52.800
constantly looked over the everhearth. He
looks to the long sword that hangs there,

564
00:47:52.639 --> 00:48:01.079
and you know, it's an honor
and a privilege to do what to

565
00:48:01.280 --> 00:48:07.440
read the role of remembrance, and
he wants to do right by these names,

566
00:48:07.760 --> 00:48:19.360
but is frustrated or disappointed that this
is a storied university and yet there

567
00:48:19.400 --> 00:48:24.159
are He's looking for the heroes and
there aren't any in this list. You

568
00:48:24.159 --> 00:48:29.400
hear a knock on the door.
Without waiting for a response, it opens.

569
00:48:30.360 --> 00:48:38.519
There is a tall Tobaxi catlike person
humanoid standing there. If we lived

570
00:48:38.880 --> 00:48:45.159
in this world that we the players
are in, she would look like a

571
00:48:45.199 --> 00:48:52.559
black panther, tall and sleek and
so black that when she stands in the

572
00:48:52.559 --> 00:48:55.719
shadows, you don't see that she's
there except for her glowing green eyes.

573
00:48:58.840 --> 00:49:06.840
She's wearing academic robes with a sash
the color of the Eurote Hall. This

574
00:49:07.000 --> 00:49:12.639
ashly the colors of Eurrote Hall,
violet and silver, violet and silver.

575
00:49:12.760 --> 00:49:16.239
She's got a sash that is violet
and silver. This is Doctor Burning Fire,

576
00:49:16.360 --> 00:49:20.000
which you've always thought was an interesting
name, given that one of her

577
00:49:20.119 --> 00:49:25.119
duties is to be the keeper of
the ever heearth. May I come in

578
00:49:27.320 --> 00:49:31.119
always? You need not ask,
professor always, I do, hope,

579
00:49:31.119 --> 00:49:40.639
I'm not interrupting, not at all. Will me a deception check deception?

580
00:49:40.760 --> 00:49:46.239
You said, yep, fifteen.
She accepts what you said, that nothing

581
00:49:46.280 --> 00:49:52.000
is really bothering you, and she
crosses the room toward you to where the

582
00:49:52.000 --> 00:50:04.079
fireplace is and kind of pushes an
armchair over toward the fireplace. Could you

583
00:50:04.079 --> 00:50:08.079
give me a hand with this,
of course, professor. So she holds

584
00:50:08.119 --> 00:50:12.960
out her hand for you to support
her, and she steps up on the

585
00:50:13.079 --> 00:50:15.000
armchair and you kind of feel the
weight of hers. She sinks the armchair

586
00:50:15.039 --> 00:50:21.599
is softer than she realized, but
she's pretty tall and she doesn't need too

587
00:50:21.679 --> 00:50:28.079
much support to reach up over the
fireplace and take down the sword that hangs

588
00:50:28.079 --> 00:50:32.079
there. Have you seen the sword
before? I've seen it every day for

589
00:50:32.119 --> 00:50:36.679
the last four years. Have you
seen it up close before? Once?

590
00:50:37.360 --> 00:50:44.719
When was that? When I was
initiated? What was the initiation process?

591
00:50:45.639 --> 00:50:54.400
We came into this very room and
Professor Shuldrake held the sword and each of

592
00:50:54.480 --> 00:51:00.360
us ran our finger across it and
gave a drop of blood. Looking at

593
00:51:00.360 --> 00:51:07.920
it up close again, how do
you feel nervous? It's a weird mix

594
00:51:07.039 --> 00:51:15.960
of pride and anxiety for what my
role is about to be. As doctor

595
00:51:15.960 --> 00:51:23.000
burning Fire steps down from the armrest, using your hand for support. She's

596
00:51:23.320 --> 00:51:27.639
quite close to your face and she
just kind of tilts a head to one

597
00:51:27.719 --> 00:51:35.039
side, and you see those intense
glowing eyes. You seem apprehensive. I

598
00:51:35.119 --> 00:51:40.599
thought we were here to do or
become remarkable. My boy, I would

599
00:51:40.679 --> 00:51:50.039
argue, you are remarkable, professor, I believe that, But no,

600
00:51:50.159 --> 00:51:55.079
I don't. I've been reviewing the
biographies from the archives for the role of

601
00:51:55.119 --> 00:52:06.119
remembrance, and there's a tailor and
under Minister of finance from the autocracy.

602
00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:15.840
There's several who have passed completely after
they left for lack of a better word,

603
00:52:16.079 --> 00:52:27.599
anonymously. What are we supposed to
become remarkable? I don't see it

604
00:52:28.079 --> 00:52:37.840
in the archive that these people are
not remarkable andrek. The thing that you

605
00:52:37.920 --> 00:52:39.599
must learn, the thing that you
should have learned over these four years,

606
00:52:39.679 --> 00:52:47.559
is there are many ways to be
remarkable. Perhaps the page is the problem.

607
00:52:47.679 --> 00:52:52.599
How do you mean these people had
lives? Right? Of course,

608
00:52:53.239 --> 00:52:59.840
the words on the page don't convey
that there are those whose stories are to

609
00:52:59.880 --> 00:53:05.320
be told and there are those who
are to be anonymous. That does not

610
00:53:05.480 --> 00:53:12.880
mean that all were not remarkable.
Peels off, just like a little piece

611
00:53:12.920 --> 00:53:19.679
of the end of the croissant from
the desk and pops the moon's mouth,

612
00:53:20.159 --> 00:53:24.440
chows and looks at the from where
she removed the sword, looks at the

613
00:53:24.440 --> 00:53:31.880
coat of arms, that's there.
Describe it. It is a shield gray

614
00:53:31.920 --> 00:53:39.679
field with a tone. There's a
skull on it with vines and flowers growing

615
00:53:39.840 --> 00:53:46.159
out of the eye socket, and
the crest is a blazing sun with a

616
00:53:46.199 --> 00:53:54.320
crescent moon eclipsing it. Doctor Burning
Fire gives you a moment, and then

617
00:53:54.360 --> 00:54:00.880
she says, are you ready for
today? As ready as I'm going to

618
00:54:00.920 --> 00:54:07.280
be, and he will take the
sword from her. She lets him have

619
00:54:07.440 --> 00:54:10.960
the sword and also reaches into the
pocket of her gown and hands you the

620
00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:15.800
official role of remembrance. What you've
been preparing with is a copy. This

621
00:54:15.880 --> 00:54:21.280
one has been written by scribes.
It's prepared especially for the graduation ceremony every

622
00:54:21.320 --> 00:54:25.360
year. It you notice that she
looks up to the coat of arms also

623
00:54:27.360 --> 00:54:35.079
Andrek, I do believe you will
be remarkable. But first I need to

624
00:54:35.079 --> 00:54:39.239
know that you're going to take extremely
good care of this sword. It'll be

625
00:54:39.280 --> 00:54:45.840
an hour and then it will be
back above the hearth. The sword has

626
00:54:45.840 --> 00:54:51.679
been carried by the marshals of Urade
Hall for centuries. I expect you to

627
00:54:51.719 --> 00:54:58.239
bring it back to me straight away. Of course, take very very good

628
00:54:58.320 --> 00:55:01.440
care of it. I will thank
you you, professor. She reaches out

629
00:55:01.480 --> 00:55:07.320
and gives you a little pat on
the shoulder and walks out of the room.

630
00:55:07.760 --> 00:55:13.280
Ceremonies are beginning soon, and then
she leaves. What do you do?

631
00:55:13.360 --> 00:55:21.360
You have the sword and the scroll. Now I pick up the long

632
00:55:21.639 --> 00:55:29.159
duster jacket that is draped over the
chair at that reading desk and throw the

633
00:55:29.239 --> 00:55:36.559
duster jacket on, tuck the scroll
into the inside pocket of it. And

634
00:55:36.599 --> 00:55:44.079
then the sheath has a leather strap
on it, and I throw it over

635
00:55:44.559 --> 00:55:51.840
one shoulder, tighten it and just
take a deep breath, look again at

636
00:55:51.840 --> 00:55:55.400
the coat of arms, and leave
the room. Roll me in perception,

637
00:55:55.480 --> 00:56:04.880
check on your way on the door. Garbage, not even specified, just

638
00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:07.039
garbage. Uh, that's that's a
total of a seven. Yeah, no,

639
00:56:07.119 --> 00:56:10.000
that's that's not gonna be enough,
all right. So you start to

640
00:56:10.519 --> 00:56:17.760
walk out of the room. On
your way out, the graduation robes of

641
00:56:17.800 --> 00:56:24.360
all of the Eurody Hall students are
are hanging from their doors. And you

642
00:56:24.400 --> 00:56:27.400
get to the end of the hall
where your room is. What do you

643
00:56:27.440 --> 00:56:34.360
do? Give a quick knock at
my own room, Nothing happens. I

644
00:56:34.400 --> 00:56:37.000
grab my robe and I throw it
over my should over my shoulder, because

645
00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:40.159
I'm like trying to figure out how
with now, with the jacket and the

646
00:56:40.239 --> 00:56:45.960
sword, I'm supposed to do this. We're gonna pause there and you can

647
00:56:45.000 --> 00:56:52.199
figure that out on your way to
graduation. Got it, Andrek exits quickly

648
00:56:52.199 --> 00:56:57.199
down the stairs and across the portico. Below the portico is a courtyard built

649
00:56:57.199 --> 00:57:00.239
around a large round lawn, in
the center of which it's an enchanted apple

650
00:57:00.239 --> 00:57:05.679
tree that bears fruit all year long. If you keep looking across the courtyard

651
00:57:05.679 --> 00:57:07.880
past the tree, you'll see a
short, squat building that seems on first

652
00:57:07.920 --> 00:57:12.639
appearance as if it might collapse at
any moment. But in truth, this

653
00:57:12.719 --> 00:57:15.519
building has stood longer than many of
the others around it, and it was

654
00:57:15.519 --> 00:57:19.039
designed to outlast them all. This
is Youngham College, but most of the

655
00:57:19.039 --> 00:57:22.679
students at Mage and Marshall College,
the College of Sticks and Stones just inside

656
00:57:22.719 --> 00:57:27.480
the front door alone soon to be
graduate sits in the Youngham College foyer.

657
00:57:28.199 --> 00:57:31.880
Chris, who are we meeting?
I'm playing pooched in Ruckus. That's last

658
00:57:31.920 --> 00:57:36.280
name, first name, so he
goes by Rucus. Rucas is a dogfolk,

659
00:57:36.320 --> 00:57:39.519
which is a homebrew race just part
beast and part humanoid. If you've

660
00:57:39.559 --> 00:57:43.360
ever seen a Tibetan mastiff. You'll
have a good idea of what he looks

661
00:57:43.400 --> 00:57:45.760
like, only bigger. He's about
five feet tall when on all fours,

662
00:57:46.119 --> 00:57:50.239
and about eight feet tall if he
gets up on his hind legs. There's

663
00:57:50.360 --> 00:57:52.920
very large dog folk who plays on
Mage and Marshall's bug ball team. He's

664
00:57:52.920 --> 00:57:57.480
got darker brown fur on the flank, with a beige bordering on off white

665
00:57:57.480 --> 00:58:00.840
tummy and a respectably medium length poof
brown tail that usually curls back up his

666
00:58:00.880 --> 00:58:07.000
spine. Ruckus's fur is extra long
and shaggy around his shoulders, neck,

667
00:58:07.039 --> 00:58:09.960
and his head. It's almost like
a mane. It covers his floppy ears,

668
00:58:10.000 --> 00:58:14.000
and sometimes it gets in his eyes, or at least it gets in

669
00:58:14.039 --> 00:58:15.880
the one eye that isn't covered with
an eye patch that he wears all the

670
00:58:15.960 --> 00:58:21.119
times since he was a kid.
He's very jowy, with snow white fangs

671
00:58:21.119 --> 00:58:24.920
and a large pink tongue that's frequently
blepping out of his mouth, especially when

672
00:58:24.920 --> 00:58:30.519
he's sleeping. Dogfolk don't usually wear
clothes, but in addition to the eye

673
00:58:30.519 --> 00:58:34.159
patch that Ruckus wears, he's also
taken to wearing bugball pants, which are

674
00:58:34.199 --> 00:58:37.000
this eye catching forest green sheen,
and they have a brilliant orange stripe down

675
00:58:37.000 --> 00:58:42.360
one leg, and there's also a
dark olive green bycocket hat that he wears

676
00:58:42.400 --> 00:58:45.679
the large oriel feather tucked gently to
one side. And he's also rarely seen

677
00:58:45.719 --> 00:58:50.480
without trusty sky blue stinky old gem
sneakers that he's been wearing for years,

678
00:58:51.039 --> 00:58:52.400
but not since he got to Major
Marshall. He started wearing those when he

679
00:58:52.440 --> 00:58:55.360
got there. One more important thing
I should mention about Ruckus is that while

680
00:58:55.360 --> 00:58:59.960
he understands the common tongue, dogfolk, mouths are not built for common speed.

681
00:59:00.360 --> 00:59:02.679
So instead, while he's been a
Major Marshall, Ruckus has begun learning

682
00:59:02.840 --> 00:59:07.320
how to use bark buttons, which
he wears on a sash across his one

683
00:59:07.320 --> 00:59:13.559
shoulder to help communicate with non dog
folk. For example, Hello Ruckus,

684
00:59:13.960 --> 00:59:21.519
you question Mark, and how is
Rucus's day going? I'd say it's been

685
00:59:21.559 --> 00:59:24.880
good. Rock. He's been hanging
out alone on the sitting room's long wooden

686
00:59:24.880 --> 00:59:29.159
bench for the last few minutes,
even though he knows it will be covered

687
00:59:29.199 --> 00:59:31.719
by his graduation attire. He's currently
decked right now in his bug ball uniform

688
00:59:32.079 --> 00:59:36.719
and he's bent over carefully leasing up
his trusty, very smelly old sneakers.

689
00:59:37.519 --> 00:59:39.440
He's a bit anxious, but not
just because he's about to graduate, also

690
00:59:39.480 --> 00:59:44.559
because he'll be the first dog folk
in generations to graduate from Major Marshall.

691
00:59:44.639 --> 00:59:46.320
So he's feeling a lot of pressure
to be the best boy he can be.

692
00:59:47.679 --> 00:59:51.639
But it's been a pretty good morning. He's been up since before dawn,

693
00:59:51.920 --> 00:59:53.639
starting the day with his usual morning
calisthenics. Okay, I have to

694
00:59:53.639 --> 00:59:57.920
ask, what do his calisthenics look
like? Oh, it's mostly running around

695
00:59:57.960 --> 01:00:00.400
his dorm room in tight circles chasing
his tail. And after that he went

696
01:00:00.440 --> 01:00:05.400
outside to enjoy the morning missed and
have a pre breakfast butterfly chase in the

697
01:00:05.440 --> 01:00:08.159
nearby field. And what does Recus
like to have for breakfast? His favorite

698
01:00:08.159 --> 01:00:13.440
thing to have is a whole bunch
of bananas. And now that he's eaten

699
01:00:13.679 --> 01:00:16.079
his bananas, now that he's gotten
dressed, and now that he's gingerly nodded

700
01:00:16.119 --> 01:00:20.320
the tip of his wooden spear to
ensure that it is as sharp as can

701
01:00:20.360 --> 01:00:23.960
be, He's going to open Youngham's
wrought iron doors and step outside. Wow,

702
01:00:24.280 --> 01:00:29.000
Hi everyone, Michael again, I
hope you're enjoying Oops. All Bards.

703
01:00:29.639 --> 01:00:34.400
If comedic spins on actual play podcasts
are in your wheelhouse, that I

704
01:00:34.440 --> 01:00:39.400
think you'll also like Quest Friends.
Quest Friends is an improvised supernatural comedy podcast

705
01:00:39.719 --> 01:00:46.719
where five best friends explore everyday life
in the afterlife, from trash possum Pokemon

706
01:00:47.039 --> 01:00:52.440
to over dramatic more mysteries to the
honestly pitiful skeleton of Grigory Resputant. Listen

707
01:00:52.519 --> 01:00:59.480
as these friends play through absurd adventures
inspired by cartoons like The Owlhouse and Gravity

708
01:00:59.519 --> 01:01:02.880
Falls, a personal favorite of mine. The characters are over top, the

709
01:01:02.920 --> 01:01:08.039
comedy is good spirited, and the
puns never never end, which is exactly

710
01:01:08.119 --> 01:01:13.360
what it's like spending an afternoon with
Chris and Paige Klineki. Anyway. You

711
01:01:13.400 --> 01:01:17.519
can find more information about Quest Friends
at questfriendspodcast dot com, or you can

712
01:01:17.559 --> 01:01:22.800
start listening right away by searching for
Quest Friends with an exclamation point on your

713
01:01:22.840 --> 01:01:29.000
favorite podcasting app. And now back
to Oops All Bards. Wow Real a

714
01:01:29.079 --> 01:01:37.440
perception check. Fourteen. You hear
a clock chime in the distance. You

715
01:01:37.559 --> 01:01:40.639
know that there was a certain there
had been a certain number of chimes you

716
01:01:40.639 --> 01:01:44.760
were supposed to listen for to tell
you that it was time to go to

717
01:01:44.800 --> 01:01:50.000
graduation, But you're not entirely sure
if this is the right number of chimes?

718
01:01:51.480 --> 01:02:00.639
Roll me another perception check ten.
Normally, you're very attuned to all

719
01:02:00.719 --> 01:02:05.719
of the small critters that can be
found on the Major and Marshall campus.

720
01:02:06.679 --> 01:02:09.800
The squirrels, the birds, the
butterflies, butterflies, the clugs. Yes,

721
01:02:12.320 --> 01:02:16.199
so you're very surprised when a squirrel
starts to dart across your path,

722
01:02:16.239 --> 01:02:20.639
but you didn't smell it coming.
How's surprising, Chris? What do you

723
01:02:20.719 --> 01:02:22.920
do once the squirrel runs across your
path? Are school super is going on?

724
01:02:22.960 --> 01:02:28.400
New perception? Jack? Oh?
Nineteen? Where's it going? It's

725
01:02:28.440 --> 01:02:31.199
it's heading in the direction away from
the stadium where the graduation ceremony. Which

726
01:02:31.239 --> 01:02:35.239
way should I go? It's graduation? But squirrel? Right? Yes,

727
01:02:35.280 --> 01:02:38.920
so which way do you go?
What's intelligence? Not? So? Two?

728
01:02:39.519 --> 01:02:45.199
Yeah? You start running after the
square. The squirrel has quite a

729
01:02:45.199 --> 01:02:46.880
head start on you. I'm gonna
get down on all fours and start.

730
01:02:47.440 --> 01:02:50.639
When I go down on all fours, I can run a little bit faster

731
01:02:50.639 --> 01:02:53.639
than I'm not. Just my two
legs right, Okay, so the squirrel

732
01:02:54.519 --> 01:03:00.239
is already about fifty feet past you. It's rule lost. Yeah, maybe

733
01:03:00.239 --> 01:03:05.599
about six turns to catch up to. Well, since we're not an initiative,

734
01:03:06.480 --> 01:03:07.440
we don't need to worry so much
about that. But would you roll

735
01:03:07.519 --> 01:03:13.320
me an athletics check please? Oh? Happily ten. The squirrel is still

736
01:03:13.360 --> 01:03:21.840
pretty far ahead of you. The
squirrel starts to double back, and it

737
01:03:22.000 --> 01:03:28.559
runs towards that enchanted apple tree in
the center of which my favorite apple tree.

738
01:03:29.239 --> 01:03:34.360
All right, rolled me another athletics
check. Oh, that's twenty five.

739
01:03:36.960 --> 01:03:38.679
Just as the squirrel is getting to
the first branch of the apple tree,

740
01:03:39.320 --> 01:03:52.760
Ruckus leaps up off that bruanh Ruckus. We're gonna get canceled so fast.

741
01:03:54.239 --> 01:04:00.360
He's just gonna skin its tail.
He's gonna, okay, catch it

742
01:04:00.400 --> 01:04:01.679
and not know what to do with
it. No, yeah, so,

743
01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:04.599
recke's what happens when you when you
wind up on the branch next to the

744
01:04:04.639 --> 01:04:06.599
squirrel. Well, I want to
I want to do speak to animals,

745
01:04:06.599 --> 01:04:10.719
maybe maybe burns first level spots before
this thing gets gone. You see what

746
01:04:10.719 --> 01:04:14.119
he's thinking? Sure? Great,
okay, so I'll do an intelligent saving

747
01:04:14.159 --> 01:04:16.639
throw to see if I remember to
save my spell slots earlier. Okay,

748
01:04:16.960 --> 01:04:20.639
that sounds smart. Great. Oh, fifteen saving throw. Okay, so

749
01:04:20.719 --> 01:04:25.360
with the fifteen savings throw, you
you second guess yourself. Maybe you shouldn't

750
01:04:25.360 --> 01:04:29.039
speak with a squirrel, but you
you, you do notice that the squirrel

751
01:04:29.159 --> 01:04:31.559
is kind of like gotten up on
its hind legs with its back against the

752
01:04:31.599 --> 01:04:39.639
tree trunk and is looking very fearfully
at you. Maybe maybe it's just surprised,

753
01:04:39.639 --> 01:04:42.880
as eye was to see the squirrel
starts to do that thing where they

754
01:04:42.920 --> 01:04:48.639
like they chatter, And I'm gonna
push my little button and say how well.

755
01:04:49.679 --> 01:04:54.679
The squirrel like leaves because he's not
used to hearing that noise coming from

756
01:04:54.880 --> 01:04:57.760
Like. The squirrel has seen you
around campus before. It knows who you

757
01:04:57.760 --> 01:05:00.800
are. You are the only dog
folk around campus, Chase. It has

758
01:05:00.840 --> 01:05:04.440
been chased by you in the past. This is the first time it has

759
01:05:04.440 --> 01:05:09.599
heard you speak. I'm gonna push
the button again. Hello, I'm gonna

760
01:05:09.599 --> 01:05:17.119
push the button, Rocke, I
gestured to myself. The squirrel very tentatively

761
01:05:17.320 --> 01:05:24.000
starts to walk toward you and sniffs
your hand an animal handling check. You

762
01:05:24.039 --> 01:05:31.000
may all right, let's eat.
No sorry. It sniffs your hand and

763
01:05:31.039 --> 01:05:35.880
then jumps back toward the tree trunk. And I'm going to say goodbye,

764
01:05:35.920 --> 01:05:41.320
but I can't say that, so
I'm going to say no hello a little

765
01:05:41.320 --> 01:05:50.639
way far than rolly. An acrobatics
check. Okay, seven, you are

766
01:05:50.760 --> 01:05:58.280
going to not stick to landing the
brush. Well, the branch is not

767
01:05:58.480 --> 01:06:01.719
very strong, so as you start
to jump down, you like hear the

768
01:06:01.800 --> 01:06:06.960
branch beginning to crack, and instead
of jumping down and landing on all fours,

769
01:06:08.000 --> 01:06:10.679
which is what you were expecting to
do, you do that thing where

770
01:06:10.760 --> 01:06:13.000
like when a dog is playing and
it jumps up in the air and it

771
01:06:13.079 --> 01:06:17.159
lands on its back instead with the
legs up in the air, and you're

772
01:06:17.199 --> 01:06:23.800
going to take I wind it on
my wooden shield. Eight points of falling

773
01:06:23.880 --> 01:06:31.679
damage. You need to go to
the infirmary frask first damage drill of the

774
01:06:31.760 --> 01:06:36.519
campaign, and it's from falling out
of a tree. Roll me another perception

775
01:06:36.719 --> 01:06:46.199
check. As he's fallen, he's
fallen. Perspective laying on, Yeah,

776
01:06:46.360 --> 01:06:50.079
so because you're playing your back,
Yeah, you're lying on. You're you're

777
01:06:50.119 --> 01:06:54.000
lower than you're used to being,
which means the sense that you're catching are

778
01:06:54.119 --> 01:06:59.639
lower to the ground than what you're
used to And you smell a fresh waffle

779
01:06:59.719 --> 01:07:05.800
cone and ice cream being consumed somewhere
near you. What what do you do?

780
01:07:06.920 --> 01:07:10.679
I'm gonna see you get up and
then go see what that is?

781
01:07:11.119 --> 01:07:14.000
Perception check to follow this follow my
nose, I think with with the with

782
01:07:14.199 --> 01:07:20.840
the perception check that you rolled across
the courtyard. You know the courtyard is

783
01:07:21.320 --> 01:07:27.079
round, so this would be like
the western end of the courtyard. You

784
01:07:27.239 --> 01:07:32.199
see a small goblin child who is
eating this enormous ice cream cone. It

785
01:07:32.280 --> 01:07:38.840
looks so tasty. I hope.
What what do you do as you approach

786
01:07:38.880 --> 01:07:41.719
the goblin child? I'm gonna go
in and say hello. So I'm gonna

787
01:07:41.719 --> 01:07:45.440
walk up to it. Uh gonna
ye, walk up the and I will

788
01:07:46.480 --> 01:07:59.400
say hello. The goblin child starts
to giggle at a point of myself,

789
01:07:59.440 --> 01:08:04.679
and I'm gonna push the button on
the sad rucous rack ive rucous. Yes,

790
01:08:05.760 --> 01:08:16.319
whoa hi? Rack? If hello
you christ mark me? Yes,

791
01:08:18.239 --> 01:08:27.600
I'm not I don't know if I'm
supposed to talk the strangers. Understand You

792
01:08:27.720 --> 01:08:31.720
see that that she She looks really
disappointed because she wants to pet the big

793
01:08:31.800 --> 01:08:38.159
fluffy dog, but her mom told
her not to talk to strangers. Dogs.

794
01:08:38.239 --> 01:08:42.439
Stranger get down on like a dog
that talks is a stranger. Yes,

795
01:08:42.479 --> 01:08:44.840
you can roll a bear. Yes, okay, let's do a persua.

796
01:08:45.039 --> 01:08:47.159
Let's make sure I don't what a
lot of ers before. If you're

797
01:08:47.199 --> 01:08:51.880
particularly persuasive, can you do that
little like chirpy wine noise that dogs make

798
01:08:51.960 --> 01:08:56.479
when they really want I think I
get to go on my four paws with

799
01:08:56.600 --> 01:09:03.439
like my my and the little girl
giggles again. I'm dazy, Hello,

800
01:09:05.000 --> 01:09:23.520
hi you dog? The question mark
what no understand? Question mark? Can

801
01:09:23.600 --> 01:09:30.439
I pet you? Yes? Yes? All right. So she's she's going

802
01:09:30.479 --> 01:09:33.319
to kind of like toddle over to
you. She's holding the ice cream red

803
01:09:34.600 --> 01:09:44.039
deck check, just straight up dexterity. So some some ice cream starts to

804
01:09:44.159 --> 01:09:48.319
drip out of her ice cream cone, but it lands just far enough away

805
01:09:48.439 --> 01:09:53.560
that you can't lick it up while
she's petting you. Watch pretty good,

806
01:09:53.560 --> 01:09:58.640
but does it all pretty good?
And so she like starts to pet you,

807
01:09:58.720 --> 01:10:00.600
and she's like one hand here,
one hand holding the ice cream,

808
01:10:00.680 --> 01:10:05.520
and a trickle of ice cream actually
drips into your eye, the one that

809
01:10:05.560 --> 01:10:08.640
doesn't have the ie patch on,
the one that doesn't have the eye patch

810
01:10:08.720 --> 01:10:13.159
on. Okay, I'm gonna try
to I guess blink it out would be

811
01:10:13.279 --> 01:10:19.600
like a sleight of eye check.
Yeah, I think I think you're gonna

812
01:10:19.640 --> 01:10:26.600
try to off. Yeah, let's
make that tongue. I think, yeah,

813
01:10:26.600 --> 01:10:30.239
I think sleight of hand for this. Yeahright, cool seventeen you get

814
01:10:30.279 --> 01:10:39.199
it. I'll taste it's delicious.
I'm gonna roll for her. As you

815
01:10:39.479 --> 01:10:45.039
do that, she throws a leg
over you. It starts to like she

816
01:10:45.159 --> 01:10:49.399
wants to ride, like like you're
a little pony pony. She's gonna do

817
01:10:49.560 --> 01:10:54.479
persuasion or an animal handling. I
am part piecet parking. I'll let you

818
01:10:54.560 --> 01:10:59.920
choose. We're gonna do persuasion.
Check. Let me pull up the child's

819
01:11:00.079 --> 01:11:03.239
that block because I had it,
and would you have me roll against this

820
01:11:03.359 --> 01:11:08.760
to see who's like, what's up? Yeah, yeah, yours. It's

821
01:11:08.800 --> 01:11:14.520
going to be an intelligence check.
Great, she's probably gonna win intelligent saving

822
01:11:14.600 --> 01:11:20.920
throw against her. Great, she's
probably gonna win negative water. She only

823
01:11:21.000 --> 01:11:27.079
rolled up five. Where are we
going? We're off to the races.

824
01:11:28.119 --> 01:11:32.000
She she swings a leg over you
and like forgets the ice cream cone just

825
01:11:32.079 --> 01:11:36.479
like throws the ice cream cone on
the ground, buries her hands and your

826
01:11:36.800 --> 01:11:45.000
your fluff and and I say,
go qustume Mark Well there to forget there.

827
01:11:45.119 --> 01:11:46.880
She just just dropped the ice cream
cone in front of you, so

828
01:11:46.920 --> 01:11:50.039
know you have a decision to make. Can I actually yes, can I

829
01:11:50.159 --> 01:12:00.920
point at it and say give rocus
qustume Mark? And it's like on the

830
01:12:00.079 --> 01:12:03.319
ground, like it's just like melting
in the sun. Right, so like

831
01:12:03.640 --> 01:12:13.079
grand is fair game? She she
giggles, but doesn't actually respond. I'm

832
01:12:13.079 --> 01:12:20.479
gonna totively go over to it and
then oh, okay, great, I'm

833
01:12:20.479 --> 01:12:28.399
gonna yeah, I devour it and
like two bites and I'm gonna say many

834
01:12:28.920 --> 01:12:41.119
good. Okay, this whole thing
has been asture. Mark. Okay,

835
01:12:41.199 --> 01:12:47.800
so I'm gonna run straight. Where
are we going? You're gonna start running

836
01:12:47.800 --> 01:12:58.960
in circles around and let's do boy
a lot of strict to see she gets

837
01:12:59.000 --> 01:13:08.479
tired. She is not dizzy.
She is having fun. This is not

838
01:13:08.640 --> 01:13:13.479
how I played on. This guy
was reminding me of those rodeo events at

839
01:13:13.560 --> 01:13:16.760
the Texas Rodeo where the little kids
ride the sheep as long as they can.

840
01:13:18.000 --> 01:13:20.640
That's what a lot of the side, That's what I was thinking,

841
01:13:20.680 --> 01:13:28.239
except that she just rolled at seventeen
to stay on for her, we have

842
01:13:28.399 --> 01:13:32.760
already broken the area, like welcome
to actual play in D and D.

843
01:13:33.439 --> 01:13:40.680
We're actually playing D and D.
We sure are Rock is really a perception

844
01:13:40.840 --> 01:13:48.840
check? Please? Twenty two.
You hear the sound of horses clothes coming

845
01:13:48.920 --> 01:13:55.399
across the courtyard. What do you
do. I'm gonna have to make an

846
01:13:55.439 --> 01:14:00.840
intelligence check. Yes, I think
you are. Let's say, actually would

847
01:14:00.960 --> 01:14:05.960
be intelligence. I think that's more
wisdom wisdom? Yeah, yeah, alright,

848
01:14:06.119 --> 01:14:14.279
five. So it doesn't matter if
it's intelligence, Sure doesn't. I'm

849
01:14:14.359 --> 01:14:15.760
willing. I'm willing to see if
she stays on your back for this.

850
01:14:17.840 --> 01:14:23.039
Yeah. No, you take off
running in the direction of the hooves and

851
01:14:23.199 --> 01:14:27.399
she is still holding on. Oh, I'm gonna make so many friends today.

852
01:14:28.199 --> 01:14:30.960
Did the ice cream kill me for
any points? No? No,

853
01:14:30.119 --> 01:14:35.880
it's just ice cream? Well pretty
good, just like a video game,

854
01:14:36.399 --> 01:14:44.039
literally anything. It's eight fifty potatoes
for five points, right, like tag

855
01:14:44.159 --> 01:14:49.399
Man, it's just ice cream.
So you have Daisy riding on your back

856
01:14:50.279 --> 01:14:55.760
and she she's a little scared at
this point because you are running it a

857
01:14:55.800 --> 01:15:00.239
full gallop towards these very large cart
horses. Great, I'm gonna as I'm

858
01:15:00.279 --> 01:15:02.119
running, I'm gonna reach up to
my one pod and go on. Three

859
01:15:02.199 --> 01:15:04.800
legs and golfing a little bit slower, and I'm gonna look up at her.

860
01:15:04.800 --> 01:15:13.319
I'm gonna say you help, question
Mark, help help. I'm gonna

861
01:15:13.319 --> 01:15:20.760
say no, go, and I'm
going to stop slowly. Okay. She

862
01:15:21.000 --> 01:15:28.079
is going to very cautiously climb off
of your back and give you like a

863
01:15:28.199 --> 01:15:33.840
little pet on your head, and
then stumble back toward where she was standing,

864
01:15:35.359 --> 01:15:46.000
very shaky on her feet. You
good, question Mark by no Hello,

865
01:15:46.399 --> 01:15:51.359
I wave goodbye. Across the courtyard. You see her. You see

866
01:15:51.399 --> 01:15:58.119
her toddling across the courtyard to her
mother, or presumably blame her mother an

867
01:15:58.319 --> 01:16:11.319
older goblin roll me o wisdom check
here twelve. The goblin to whom she

868
01:16:11.520 --> 01:16:16.239
is running her presumed mother you recognized
as a professor from the university. Meanwhile,

869
01:16:16.279 --> 01:16:20.600
the horses are getting closer. Well, I could get in trouble or

870
01:16:20.600 --> 01:16:24.279
I go hang out with some horses. I wonder what we're doing. Everything

871
01:16:24.439 --> 01:16:31.319
is your favorite, I know,
Robby Wisdom check seventeen. You notice the

872
01:16:31.439 --> 01:16:38.560
horses starting to come up toward you, two large card horses pulling a cart

873
01:16:38.760 --> 01:16:45.479
of fireworks. Oh maybe we can
race, maybe you but you realize that

874
01:16:45.560 --> 01:16:48.479
if you keep going toward or following
the horses. You are probably going to

875
01:16:48.520 --> 01:16:51.840
be late for your graduation ceremony,
which, oh, I have to be

876
01:16:51.880 --> 01:16:57.239
a very good boy. And so
you start to go in the direction from

877
01:16:57.279 --> 01:17:00.880
once the horses came. Oh well, well, we'll lurish next time.

878
01:17:00.319 --> 01:17:05.680
So exiting the courtyard, you wind
up near the athletic fields. Okay,

879
01:17:05.760 --> 01:17:09.199
cool, I'll go back on my
hind legs for now. Okay, So

880
01:17:09.319 --> 01:17:15.960
you're you're strolling through the along the
athletic fields, will me a perception check

881
01:17:16.119 --> 01:17:24.159
twenty one? You see a group
of students playing football. Oh, bug

882
01:17:24.239 --> 01:17:28.359
ball, which my favorite. Chris, what are the rules of bug ball?

883
01:17:28.960 --> 01:17:31.359
Have you ever played Calvin ball?
Nobody has ever played Calvin ball.

884
01:17:31.720 --> 01:17:38.680
Oh, well, you're really missing
out. So it is essentially a retooled

885
01:17:38.760 --> 01:17:42.800
version of Calvin ball, which is
of course credits do great Bill Waters and

886
01:17:42.840 --> 01:17:46.039
Calvin and Hobbs admitted this sport.
There are a couple of base rules.

887
01:17:46.479 --> 01:17:51.680
Typically it's teams of four on four. There are two sort of large holes

888
01:17:51.720 --> 01:17:55.680
on either side of a large pitch. That pitch is about one hundred and

889
01:17:55.720 --> 01:17:59.079
twenty feet long or so, usually
playing grass, but you can play anywhere.

890
01:17:59.239 --> 01:18:00.800
It's just like this has become a
professional sport. They've regulated in the

891
01:18:00.880 --> 01:18:05.239
field. But the rules are the
first team to get the ball in their

892
01:18:06.159 --> 01:18:11.319
team's respective hole to score four times
wins the game. But on your turn,

893
01:18:12.039 --> 01:18:14.560
instead of doing you know, an
action trying to like throw the ball

894
01:18:14.640 --> 01:18:15.880
or run it down the field,
you can also choose to make a new

895
01:18:15.960 --> 01:18:20.960
rule with your with your turn.
The rule that you make it can be

896
01:18:21.039 --> 01:18:24.399
any rule that you want that changes
how the game is played, with a

897
01:18:24.439 --> 01:18:27.920
couple of exceptions. You can't say
the rule is that we win. You

898
01:18:27.960 --> 01:18:30.000
can't say the rule is anything other
than the first person first team to four

899
01:18:30.039 --> 01:18:33.640
points wins. But everything else is
fair game. Am I remembering correctly that

900
01:18:33.680 --> 01:18:38.840
you can't repeat rules in calvinball?
Yeah? Why would you? Yeah?

901
01:18:39.199 --> 01:18:45.600
Okay, r bugball use that same
conceit also, sure, great? Okay.

902
01:18:45.920 --> 01:18:51.960
So you see on the field eight
people playing. That's a full game

903
01:18:53.000 --> 01:18:57.119
of bug ball, and another five
or six people kind of standing along the

904
01:18:57.359 --> 01:19:03.479
side. Roll me a wisdom check. Seven. You don't recognize any of

905
01:19:03.640 --> 01:19:10.479
them, but they wearing the green
and orange ripe pants. They're not They're

906
01:19:10.479 --> 01:19:15.439
just dressed in like street street clothes. It's a pick up game to pick

907
01:19:15.600 --> 01:19:21.039
up. It picks you up when
you play it. So so in this

908
01:19:21.520 --> 01:19:27.720
pick me up game, you notice
that one of the players on the field

909
01:19:28.439 --> 01:19:32.720
is just like everybody is just running
around this player. They're just like being

910
01:19:32.960 --> 01:19:40.640
so outclassed by everybody else. Perhaps
they're just new. Perhaps depending on how

911
01:19:40.720 --> 01:19:45.319
you roll, you want to go
help them. Let's say, what's it

912
01:19:45.319 --> 01:19:54.479
going to be? That is going
to be a wisdom nine. Oh yeah,

913
01:19:54.479 --> 01:19:58.479
you want to go help them.
Let's go help the I'm very curious

914
01:19:58.600 --> 01:20:03.800
to see how rackus make rules with
the twenty word limit. Well, we're

915
01:20:03.840 --> 01:20:08.720
not we're not really going to find
out because Rucus has gone off to the

916
01:20:08.760 --> 01:20:12.199
bug ball field. Rucus, it's
very late for graduation. Actually a D

917
01:20:12.359 --> 01:20:17.000
ten Yeah, okay, ten D
ten, a D Twenty's this one?

918
01:20:17.359 --> 01:20:24.239
How many hours later? Time?
Ten hours late, minutes minutes you're going

919
01:20:24.279 --> 01:20:26.720
to be playing bug ball for ten
minutes. You are going to be well,

920
01:20:26.800 --> 01:20:28.960
that's a big game of bug ball. Usually they're over in like,

921
01:20:29.279 --> 01:20:31.600
you know, fifty seconds or so. It might be it might be more

922
01:20:31.640 --> 01:20:34.359
than one game. Maybe one of
the rules that they invented. Yeah,

923
01:20:34.439 --> 01:20:39.359
yeah, so you're you're going to
spend your next ten minutes playing bug ball

924
01:20:40.199 --> 01:20:43.920
instead of going to do I'm so
happy, all right, so we're going

925
01:20:44.000 --> 01:20:55.600
to leave you there. The green
of Major and Marshall's Athletic fields eventually give

926
01:20:55.640 --> 01:20:59.760
way to the green of the university's
botanical gardens, and in a far corner

927
01:20:59.840 --> 01:21:03.680
of the botanical gardens is where you'll
find mage in Marshall's Medicinal Garden. This

928
01:21:03.840 --> 01:21:09.319
belongs to Slouvere College, a low
slung stone structure tucked behind the gardens,

929
01:21:09.760 --> 01:21:13.720
designed to blend in with its surroundings, although a glamour helps with the camouflage.

930
01:21:14.399 --> 01:21:16.720
The Medicinal Garden is not the draw
for visitors that some of the botanical

931
01:21:16.800 --> 01:21:21.159
gardens or nate topiaries and blooming flower
fields are, but it is the source

932
01:21:21.239 --> 01:21:26.880
of all the herbs and roots and
berries used by the aspiring healer mages at

933
01:21:27.000 --> 01:21:31.359
Mage and Marshall. Despite its cross
university utilization, the Medicinal Garden is specifically

934
01:21:31.439 --> 01:21:38.399
maintained by the Sloverdians, as it
has been for centuries past. The kamameal

935
01:21:38.479 --> 01:21:42.520
and lavender flowers and the shoots breaking
ground above the ginger and garlic and turmeric.

936
01:21:42.920 --> 01:21:46.560
There's a small cluster of ginkgo trees
behind them. The strumming of a

937
01:21:46.680 --> 01:21:56.680
guitar is just audible, Bob who's
playing that guitar. To describe Klan Stumps,

938
01:21:56.920 --> 01:22:00.079
you can you can start describing,
or you can start with the song

939
01:22:00.159 --> 01:22:06.560
and then do your description. Well, Kilonian is a Kilonian. Stumps is

940
01:22:06.640 --> 01:22:12.920
a turtle, and a turtle is
a large turtle. Person would be the

941
01:22:12.960 --> 01:22:19.720
best way to by turtle, Yes, exactly. Kilonian himself is uh not

942
01:22:19.920 --> 01:22:25.760
too tall average height. Uh,
he is five' six. He has

943
01:22:25.880 --> 01:22:31.279
muddy brownish green skin, and he's
he's a bit scrawny for a turtle,

944
01:22:32.000 --> 01:22:35.439
not very for a turtle. For
a turtle, thank you, thank you.

945
01:22:36.079 --> 01:22:39.880
Quite large for a turtle. I'll
do that. Yeah, I'll do

946
01:22:40.039 --> 01:22:47.279
that a lot probably. And so
he he's strumming his guitar in the courtyard,

947
01:22:47.319 --> 01:22:54.840
he's sitting down. He You notice
his claws. He has uh what

948
01:22:55.199 --> 01:22:58.199
would normally be like sort of long
claws on his fingers, but these have

949
01:22:58.359 --> 01:23:01.079
looked like we have have been filed
down a little bit and they're a little

950
01:23:01.520 --> 01:23:10.279
dull being used to strum his guitar. And on his back is his shell

951
01:23:10.680 --> 01:23:15.680
which is rather large and has a
few leather sort of backpacks almost like saddle

952
01:23:15.800 --> 01:23:21.680
packs put on his shell, and
sitting next to him is a little chicken

953
01:23:21.800 --> 01:23:27.720
coop that also has some straps on
it that looks like it would go on

954
01:23:27.880 --> 01:23:33.039
his shell. And wondering around him
is a little chicken that is pucking pecking

955
01:23:33.119 --> 01:23:36.680
at the bugs in the garden.
Is it like a white chicken with a

956
01:23:36.720 --> 01:23:42.399
little red yep? Wonderful? Ya
straight at elegentive Zelda, Yeah, perfect,

957
01:23:44.800 --> 01:23:47.800
And so he's just strumming away,
looks looking like he's having a great

958
01:23:47.880 --> 01:23:54.560
time. He's got a straw hat
that's a wide brimmed that's keeping the sun

959
01:23:54.760 --> 01:23:59.039
out of his eyes as he's strumming, and he looks like he's just trying

960
01:23:59.079 --> 01:24:01.760
to like sort of fire you're out
a song or like put a song together?

961
01:24:03.439 --> 01:24:08.239
What is what is he trying to
figure out about the song? Oh?

962
01:24:08.399 --> 01:24:12.720
Well, he's always writing a song. And at this particular time,

963
01:24:14.000 --> 01:24:17.279
you notice by the way that his
guitar on the body of the guitar is

964
01:24:17.760 --> 01:24:25.840
painted in a sort of scribbly script
peacemaker on his guitar, And right now

965
01:24:26.039 --> 01:24:34.039
he's trying to figure out a way
to sing about the peacefulness of nature because

966
01:24:34.079 --> 01:24:38.439
he's sitting in this garden and it's
very peaceful, and he's trying to figure

967
01:24:38.439 --> 01:24:46.119
out the best way to describe the
peacefulness of this garden. Strength will hear?

968
01:24:47.720 --> 01:24:58.159
Real nice green, there's no ice, and I want to sit here

969
01:24:58.359 --> 01:25:09.319
all day, but it's graduation days. I gotta go soon. What do

970
01:25:09.399 --> 01:25:13.079
you think about that? Angel?
Because that sounds good. Angel is the

971
01:25:13.159 --> 01:25:17.720
chick, Angel is the chicken.
Why don't you roll an animal handling check

972
01:25:17.800 --> 01:25:26.800
to see how Angel feels about that'll
be twenty one. Angel kind of sidles

973
01:25:26.880 --> 01:25:30.239
up to you and like rubs her
head on your elbow while you're playing.

974
01:25:30.720 --> 01:25:34.479
Oh you like it, Angel?
Great? Your approval metas not too?

975
01:25:39.600 --> 01:25:45.079
I asked the songs liver or Died
by the chickens. She's a headmaker.

976
01:25:46.560 --> 01:25:57.039
The producer roll me a perception check. I taken a deep breath and it's

977
01:25:57.039 --> 01:26:01.880
at fifteen in the distance. You
hear the chime of the bell tower at

978
01:26:01.920 --> 01:26:08.560
the school that tells you that it
is about graduation time, and so if

979
01:26:08.600 --> 01:26:13.279
you're going to graduation, then it
should be time to start packing up your

980
01:26:13.319 --> 01:26:17.039
things. What do you do?
See? All right? Angel, I

981
01:26:17.119 --> 01:26:20.920
think it's a bad time when we
get over to graduation. Now, stands

982
01:26:21.039 --> 01:26:27.359
up in a very totally fashioned,
very slow, a little creaky in a

983
01:26:27.479 --> 01:26:35.359
shell. How old is he?
Because that's old for turtles. I checked

984
01:26:35.399 --> 01:26:41.039
on this the other day. Turtles
reach maturity at like fourteen, So I

985
01:26:41.119 --> 01:26:45.560
think unless unless he is like a
non traditional student, he went back to

986
01:26:45.600 --> 01:26:48.720
school, he would be a little
non traditional Keilonian has spent a lot of

987
01:26:48.800 --> 01:26:54.119
time wandering. Okay, because because
they reached adulthood at fifteen, So you

988
01:26:54.239 --> 01:26:58.680
are you are a middle aged tortal. Okay, right, I forget the

989
01:26:58.720 --> 01:27:02.079
gap year. That's a twenty four
years young. They lived about sixty okay,

990
01:27:02.319 --> 01:27:05.520
yeah, yeah, so okay,
so you are you are a middle

991
01:27:05.600 --> 01:27:13.319
aged turtle superseding. So yeah,
we all knew that guy, all right,

992
01:27:13.359 --> 01:27:17.159
So anyway, your your joints.
Nobody can see this, but producer

993
01:27:17.199 --> 01:27:23.239
Nate just pointed to himself. So
yeah, so you you stand up kind

994
01:27:23.239 --> 01:27:27.640
of creaky, pat the top of
the chicken coop. Angel there, did

995
01:27:27.680 --> 01:27:33.319
you go handling? Chick handling check
twenty three. She hops right into the

996
01:27:33.560 --> 01:27:39.800
chicken coop and then looks up at
you like okay, I'm ready, picks

997
01:27:39.880 --> 01:27:45.399
up the chicken coop, straps it
onto his shell, picks up his guitar

998
01:27:46.119 --> 01:27:49.880
still holds it out in front of
him, plays a little bit as he's

999
01:27:50.039 --> 01:27:54.159
walking out of the garden. I
love this. So you're you're a strolling

1000
01:27:54.199 --> 01:27:58.920
a troubadour. Pretty empty campus at
this point, because everybody is heading to

1001
01:27:59.079 --> 01:28:06.079
graduation. If they're not, they're
already. You are walking across this campus

1002
01:28:06.079 --> 01:28:10.720
where you spent the last four years, first through the botanical gardens and then

1003
01:28:11.039 --> 01:28:16.239
back across the fields. I'm going
to roll this one for you so you

1004
01:28:16.279 --> 01:28:23.159
don't have to stop playing. What
is your modifier for perception? It's five.

1005
01:28:24.239 --> 01:28:27.920
So you notice as you're walking across
the field, this this large dog

1006
01:28:28.760 --> 01:28:31.960
like being who you you recognize,
You're friendly with him. This is Ruckus.

1007
01:28:34.119 --> 01:28:40.239
Yes, So so do you do
you do anything when you see Ruckus

1008
01:28:40.279 --> 01:28:47.399
as you're walking across? I play
a nice it's g cord for Rucas non

1009
01:28:47.479 --> 01:28:54.600
natural twenty perception, and so Rucus
Rucas drops the ball for a moment and

1010
01:28:54.760 --> 01:29:01.479
notices you Hello, Hello, and
the ball just goes flying past Ruggus.

1011
01:29:03.119 --> 01:29:11.159
You continue walking, Ruggis, so
do you interrupt a game? I'm gonna

1012
01:29:11.159 --> 01:29:20.359
say hello and wave goodbye. So
Ruggus, you've been again graduation Ruggus doesn't

1013
01:29:20.439 --> 01:29:25.520
hear that last bit because he's back
to playing. So you're you're continuing.

1014
01:29:25.520 --> 01:29:28.640
You spell past the athletic fields,
you go across the courtyard around which most

1015
01:29:28.680 --> 01:29:34.880
of the college, the colleges,
the dorms are are built, and you

1016
01:29:34.960 --> 01:29:43.199
walk past enchanted grounds. What was
your plus five on perception? That's right.

1017
01:29:45.760 --> 01:29:47.800
You look in the glass and you
see that the coffee shop is pretty

1018
01:29:47.800 --> 01:29:55.359
empty except for a small woman standing
behind the counter furiously scribbling in her journal.

1019
01:29:57.439 --> 01:30:01.199
Do you stop in say hello or
do you keep going? Of course

1020
01:30:01.279 --> 01:30:05.000
I step in and say hello.
That's my that's my pal, Clarice.

1021
01:30:06.119 --> 01:30:13.119
Okay, counter interaction. Let's go
black coffee on mug. Oh you know

1022
01:30:13.279 --> 01:30:15.600
me so well, Chlorise. But
I'm on my way to graduation. Well,

1023
01:30:16.279 --> 01:30:20.119
before you go, I've got a
few crumbs for Angel. Just get

1024
01:30:20.239 --> 01:30:25.239
turned around and all submit there.
He like sort of lifts the lid of

1025
01:30:25.399 --> 01:30:30.159
the coop on his back and leans
like her back, and Clarice climbs onto

1026
01:30:30.319 --> 01:30:35.840
the actual bar the coffee counter in
order to reach the height that is needed

1027
01:30:35.960 --> 01:30:41.119
to drop some bread crumbs in for
Angel the chicken. Okay, Angel loves

1028
01:30:41.159 --> 01:30:50.600
it. I assume check twelve.
She gladly accepts the crumbs, but doesn't

1029
01:30:50.600 --> 01:30:56.960
really interact with you there. Okay, she had a lot of bugs this

1030
01:30:57.039 --> 01:31:00.800
morning in the garden, but I'm
sure she appreciates them. It comes as

1031
01:31:00.840 --> 01:31:05.560
she always does. How are you
doing to day, cluise? Everything is

1032
01:31:05.680 --> 01:31:14.439
awful? Thank you? Oh that's
my cluise. You go rock that graduation

1033
01:31:14.760 --> 01:31:19.239
man? Oh you bet? You
do? You leave? I leave?

1034
01:31:19.439 --> 01:31:25.960
Okay, so long, Luise.
You see there by black coffee on mug?

1035
01:31:27.880 --> 01:31:31.960
Do you keep? You keep walking
toward Memorial Stadium. When you get

1036
01:31:32.039 --> 01:31:41.039
to the door through which the graduates
are being are being funneled, you see

1037
01:31:41.279 --> 01:31:46.840
somebody who knows you from from the
college, from uh some classes that you've

1038
01:31:46.880 --> 01:31:55.000
taken. It's another fellow Slavertian,
small little gnome. It has always been

1039
01:31:55.159 --> 01:32:00.319
just kind of present, not really
super interactive with anybody, but looks really

1040
01:32:00.359 --> 01:32:06.159
pumped to be there today. What
I'm like, Hey, yeah, hey,

1041
01:32:06.199 --> 01:32:14.760
you stomps, it's a graduation day. Hey there, roll an intelligence

1042
01:32:14.840 --> 01:32:23.960
chick to remember your name? Ooh
hey there nine intelligence chick. Hey there

1043
01:32:24.760 --> 01:32:32.479
friend, Yeah hey there roller persuasion
check to think that I remember your name?

1044
01:32:33.159 --> 01:32:36.880
Twenty not a natural, not a
natural one. Oh hey, there,

1045
01:32:38.159 --> 01:32:43.199
you will tell me to see you
stumps graduation such a big you know

1046
01:32:43.279 --> 01:32:46.119
where your ropes. Oh well,
I'm glad to be here as well,

1047
01:32:46.319 --> 01:32:50.399
but I'm gonna be staying right here. And he takes his takes the chicken

1048
01:32:50.439 --> 01:32:55.680
coop off of his back and sets
it down right at a spot that is

1049
01:32:56.239 --> 01:33:00.039
visible to everyone going inside, but
not in the way. Okay, uh

1050
01:33:01.680 --> 01:33:12.680
unknown gnome that that would be a
good band name for It's like, okay,

1051
01:33:12.800 --> 01:33:19.159
well bye. He just starts to
go still lone and Julie the ceremony.

1052
01:33:19.880 --> 01:33:27.159
All right, so you are now
setting up our first misconnection. What

1053
01:33:27.359 --> 01:33:31.560
are you setting up for? Well, I've sit I set myself down,

1054
01:33:31.760 --> 01:33:39.920
and I pull out a little sign
that says make love not War and puts

1055
01:33:40.000 --> 01:33:45.199
it in front, puts it in
front of his His guitar case is leather,

1056
01:33:45.439 --> 01:33:48.560
leather, sort of more of a
leather guitar satchel that a guitar fits

1057
01:33:48.600 --> 01:33:56.600
into. He puts it inside and
he just sits on down by the sidewalk

1058
01:33:57.199 --> 01:34:06.800
and starts playing a little song.
Bring a speaker who speaks peace, ten

1059
01:34:06.880 --> 01:34:14.039
your ear tenure, ear tenure here, Bring a speaker who speaks peace?

1060
01:34:15.079 --> 01:34:23.439
Ten your ear tenure ere tenure hear
old time your ear, turn your heart

1061
01:34:23.600 --> 01:34:30.279
with the words that you hear.
Bring a speaker who speaks peace. Ten

1062
01:34:30.359 --> 01:34:42.039
your ear tenure ear tenure ear Probably
a performance check. I worked on that

1063
01:34:42.119 --> 01:34:48.439
one. Under the Ginkgo Trees fourteen. A couple of students kind of pause

1064
01:34:48.800 --> 01:34:54.720
as they're coming into graduation and notice
you. One person tries to give you

1065
01:34:54.840 --> 01:34:58.119
money, but notices that you don't
have a hat or your guitar case or

1066
01:34:58.119 --> 01:35:01.000
anything set up, and just kind
of of like shrugs, Yes, can

1067
01:35:01.159 --> 01:35:12.560
they give it to the chicken.
Let's see if it's even then yes.

1068
01:35:12.680 --> 01:35:15.880
If it's odd, then it's odd. So no, they do not give

1069
01:35:15.920 --> 01:35:18.920
them money to the chicken. That's
fine. I'm out here. It's been

1070
01:35:19.039 --> 01:35:24.079
in love. So so nobody actually
like pauses to really engage with you.

1071
01:35:25.359 --> 01:35:32.840
And they're all, I feel like
I'm having a conversation with Bob Dylan right

1072
01:35:32.880 --> 01:35:39.840
now. So they're they all like, they look at you, they notice.

1073
01:35:39.880 --> 01:35:42.000
Some of them might give you a
nod or something on the way in,

1074
01:35:42.079 --> 01:35:46.680
but they're all going in, why
are you protesting? I'm protesting because

1075
01:35:46.800 --> 01:35:53.880
they've chosen at this wonderful occasion,
to bring in Gideon storm Caller Overa's acting

1076
01:35:54.000 --> 01:35:57.960
Secretary of War as the commencement speaker. Now, I know we're not at

1077
01:35:57.960 --> 01:36:01.840
war right now, but I think
it's really important on a momentous occasion such

1078
01:36:01.840 --> 01:36:08.359
as today to know that there's other
paths to take besides war. And you

1079
01:36:08.439 --> 01:36:12.039
know, people deserve right to speak, deserve to hear what you got to

1080
01:36:12.079 --> 01:36:15.279
say. But you know, sometimes
at an occasion like this, some voices

1081
01:36:15.319 --> 01:36:18.880
don't get to be heard. And
I want the voice of peace loud and

1082
01:36:19.000 --> 01:36:23.079
clear. Do you do you say
any of that out loud? I do?

1083
01:36:23.560 --> 01:36:32.279
In between verses perfect the songs breakdown. Yeah. So coming across the

1084
01:36:33.560 --> 01:36:40.000
yard that it poses as the entrance
to Memorial Stadium, you see a familiar

1085
01:36:40.039 --> 01:36:48.600
figure Andrik you are running late?
You have have you finally got your robes

1086
01:36:48.600 --> 01:36:55.479
on? At least? Yeah?
Andrick has he's he had to take off

1087
01:36:55.600 --> 01:37:00.279
the sword, take off his duster, put the robe on, strapped the

1088
01:37:00.359 --> 01:37:05.439
sword around and is carrying his duster
in his arms. Where's the scroll?

1089
01:37:08.000 --> 01:37:11.560
Uh? He tucked it actually,
like in his back pocket. Okay,

1090
01:37:14.279 --> 01:37:20.920
do you roll me a perception check? That's gonna be a twenty two.

1091
01:37:21.680 --> 01:37:27.760
So as soon as you enter the
vicinity, you you hear this guitar playing,

1092
01:37:29.239 --> 01:37:35.960
and you look across and you see
your old friend Kilonian Stumps. Do

1093
01:37:36.079 --> 01:37:43.039
you approach him? Yes, okay, who could resist? I've been all

1094
01:37:43.039 --> 01:37:47.119
those students. I don't know what
the neil is. So none of us

1095
01:37:47.520 --> 01:37:51.239
have any ability to stay on task, is what I'm getting, except for

1096
01:37:51.600 --> 01:37:57.920
except for Chris, who is not
trying to stay on task. Okay,

1097
01:38:00.439 --> 01:38:04.520
not today's Stumps. Why today?
Come on? You should celebrate with the

1098
01:38:04.560 --> 01:38:10.680
rest andreck. You of all people, a man of remembrance to know that

1099
01:38:10.800 --> 01:38:15.199
today is the best day. Why
are you doing this? Well, let

1100
01:38:15.279 --> 01:38:17.800
me tell you. I mentioned it
a moment ago, which you weren't here.

1101
01:38:20.399 --> 01:38:32.239
So do you just repeat the whole
storm collar storm collar piece and you

1102
01:38:32.439 --> 01:38:40.800
realize that secretary storm collar is one
of the reasons you're able to do what

1103
01:38:41.079 --> 01:38:45.439
you're doing right now. Of course
I know that, but you know other

1104
01:38:45.479 --> 01:38:55.520
people standing around might not. Why
don't you tell him? Yes, wisdom

1105
01:38:55.640 --> 01:39:01.720
chat for me. Actually, wisdom
savings throw wisdom saving, wisdom saving throw

1106
01:39:05.399 --> 01:39:15.800
garbage. You gotta get more of
this dice. Oh boy, you're killing

1107
01:39:15.880 --> 01:39:20.439
it. It's almost as if you've
been so distracted by preparing to be the

1108
01:39:20.520 --> 01:39:27.800
Marshal today, that you have forgotten
why you're actually here. By that,

1109
01:39:27.960 --> 01:39:33.039
I assume that you mean because the
because the end of the war thirty years

1110
01:39:33.079 --> 01:39:45.960
ago. Pacifism is a luxury.
He turns and continues into the ceremony grounds.

1111
01:39:48.279 --> 01:40:00.520
Passifism is a gift, a gift. Ten you, ten you.

1112
01:40:02.520 --> 01:40:15.159
We just broke our producer. When
you hear Stumps responding to you, what

1113
01:40:15.319 --> 01:40:20.800
do you do? I look back, I reach under the robe and like

1114
01:40:21.000 --> 01:40:26.800
just kind of like roll, like
run my fingers over the scroll that I'm

1115
01:40:26.920 --> 01:40:31.399
holding. Do you turn or go
back to Stumps or do you continue on?

1116
01:40:32.279 --> 01:40:36.880
No? I I I hear,
I hear Stumps, but I do

1117
01:40:38.039 --> 01:40:43.560
not turn an acknowledge. I'm I'm
going I have a job to do.

1118
01:40:44.760 --> 01:40:57.119
Stumps roll me a persuasion check eighteen
andreck rull me an insight check also eighteen

1119
01:40:57.720 --> 01:41:03.520
M. Even the match you are, you are very evenly matched, best

1120
01:41:03.560 --> 01:41:09.680
of three. So I'm gonna say
with that tie, it's gonna go to

1121
01:41:09.880 --> 01:41:17.800
two stumps here. So you pause
as Stumps is playing this, just long

1122
01:41:17.920 --> 01:41:27.880
enough to really think about what he's
saying, and then you hear from inside

1123
01:41:27.920 --> 01:41:32.720
the stadium with all speakers and presenters. Please report to the day as immediately

1124
01:41:33.680 --> 01:41:41.439
the commencement is about to begin.
Hendrick, here's that strides up his eyes

1125
01:41:41.560 --> 01:41:45.119
just kind of scanning, just seeing
who from his family is around, if

1126
01:41:45.199 --> 01:41:49.560
anyone. So, you have not
quite entered the stadium yet. You're at

1127
01:41:49.680 --> 01:41:53.840
you're near the door where all of
the graduates are meant to enter. But

1128
01:41:54.039 --> 01:41:59.159
because you're on you're going to be
presenting from the stage, you are actually

1129
01:41:59.199 --> 01:42:04.000
meant to go around to the other
to another door that's closer to the stage.

1130
01:42:04.439 --> 01:42:11.680
Run me a wisdom check. Nine. You don't remember that you're supposed

1131
01:42:11.680 --> 01:42:14.960
to go through a separate entrance.
You're going to have to go through the

1132
01:42:15.119 --> 01:42:17.880
entire graduated class to get up to
the dais where you're supposed to be.

1133
01:42:18.079 --> 01:42:24.319
I do think realizing that, I
think it would actually scoot around the side,

1134
01:42:25.079 --> 01:42:28.800
like is this where, like you
know, is there an island a

1135
01:42:28.840 --> 01:42:31.439
center island? Yeah, he would
do with the scoot around the side,

1136
01:42:31.640 --> 01:42:34.840
and then like, okay, so
you wanted to see if you if you

1137
01:42:34.880 --> 01:42:39.920
see anybody from your family there.
So families and friends are going to be

1138
01:42:39.960 --> 01:42:44.399
seated up in the stands. Roll
me a perception check with disadvantage. Because

1139
01:42:44.399 --> 01:42:51.199
there are a lot of people there, you do not find yourself really able

1140
01:42:51.239 --> 01:42:56.159
to make out any faces in the
crowd. You start to make your way

1141
01:42:56.239 --> 01:43:00.359
to the stage. As you begin
to ascend the stairs, you know that

1142
01:43:00.720 --> 01:43:04.520
Belle is standing just off the side
of the stage with some of the other

1143
01:43:05.840 --> 01:43:13.840
students from from her dance. True, do you acknowledge Belle or any of

1144
01:43:13.880 --> 01:43:16.960
the other dancers? Could I interrupt
and just say that Belle is and all

1145
01:43:17.079 --> 01:43:26.760
that the dancers are just passing around
water bottles between them, Okay, all

1146
01:43:26.840 --> 01:43:33.000
right? Are the are the water
bottles perhaps branded for either Flatley Hall or

1147
01:43:33.079 --> 01:43:38.760
for your your dance group, probably
a mix, and also for their Jubilation

1148
01:43:38.920 --> 01:43:43.279
festival. Like it's just they all
were like, we will get any container

1149
01:43:43.359 --> 01:43:45.760
of water and we can get our
hands on. So we're just we're just

1150
01:43:45.880 --> 01:43:50.680
trying to keep from bloating so we
don't fart during the dance. Performance is

1151
01:43:50.840 --> 01:44:01.800
a very athletic performance and the costumes
are not very forgiven. Andrew, when

1152
01:44:01.840 --> 01:44:08.000
you see just like how many people
are are you with, I'm going to

1153
01:44:08.039 --> 01:44:11.640
say like a total of twelve.
Okay, So when you when you see

1154
01:44:11.720 --> 01:44:16.520
the dozen dancers all like passing around
water like their lives depend on it.

1155
01:44:16.600 --> 01:44:20.000
How do you react? I don't
think I do it all. I think

1156
01:44:20.239 --> 01:44:28.119
head down, not your problem.
So you you begin to ascend the stage.

1157
01:44:28.399 --> 01:44:40.720
The stage there except for like a
quick glance when he sees that Monahan

1158
01:44:40.880 --> 01:44:49.079
is among them. Who's moving on
hand? Says the audience, and also

1159
01:44:49.920 --> 01:45:00.359
the just the other camera is also
here, is among the dancers? Yes,

1160
01:45:00.680 --> 01:45:05.880
okay, but you don't you don't
acknowledge that was rough? Okay?

1161
01:45:06.359 --> 01:45:17.560
All right? Just does Monahan see
you don't know? Does he? I

1162
01:45:17.600 --> 01:45:20.560
don't, I don't have I don't
know who Monihan is. You've just introduced

1163
01:45:20.560 --> 01:45:25.840
a new character to me. So
welcome to D and D. Monahand sees

1164
01:45:25.880 --> 01:45:30.039
you. Lots of eyes with you
as you're sending the stairs, like a

1165
01:45:30.039 --> 01:45:41.479
lot of eyes with you, walt
chugging water around the glass like there there's

1166
01:45:41.720 --> 01:45:47.439
just a look and a and okay, would Jane Austen call it a cut

1167
01:45:47.640 --> 01:45:55.640
direct? Yeah? All right,
there's some tension there of energy. I

1168
01:45:55.760 --> 01:45:59.279
love it. I love it.
As you send the stairs, you hear

1169
01:45:59.479 --> 01:46:04.439
the Mage and Marshall band begin to
play the College song. And that's where

1170
01:46:04.479 --> 01:46:16.720
we are going to finish. Episode
one, Oops All Bards is created,

1171
01:46:16.880 --> 01:46:23.279
GMed, and directed by Gillian Ashley
Blair Ivy. This episode was produced,

1172
01:46:23.520 --> 01:46:28.680
edited, and sound designed by Nate
Runkle. Oops All Bards stars Ashley Banks

1173
01:46:28.720 --> 01:46:33.720
as Bell Cernamo and Coleman as Clarice
Sauerkloud, Ross Curry as Andrek Harrowhold,

1174
01:46:34.159 --> 01:46:41.399
Chris Klinecki as Poochedin Ruckus, Bob
Killian as Kilonian Stumps, featuring Paige Klinecki

1175
01:46:41.479 --> 01:46:45.159
as the voice of the bark Buttons. The Oops all Bard's theme song is

1176
01:46:45.199 --> 01:46:49.720
by Bob Killian with additional lyrics by
Jillian Ashley Blair Ivy. Oops All Bards

1177
01:46:49.800 --> 01:46:54.800
is executive produced by the porch Room. We are part of the Portroom network

1178
01:46:54.840 --> 01:47:00.800
on spreaker Prime. For more information, visit oopsalbards dot com. Thanks and

1179
01:47:00.960 --> 01:47:04.720
be sure to subscribe to oops All
Bards on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

1180
01:47:04.840 --> 01:47:23.439
your podcatcher of choice. We'll see
you next time. Wow. Hi,

1181
01:47:23.560 --> 01:47:30.319
everyone, Michael won last Time Mission
Rejected has just been nominated for the Audio

1182
01:47:30.520 --> 01:47:34.199
Verse Awards. We're so excited.
We've been nominees in the past, and

1183
01:47:34.359 --> 01:47:39.960
now we need your help to get
us to the semifinals. Please go to

1184
01:47:40.199 --> 01:47:47.039
audio Verse Awards dot net slash vote
and please vote for Mission Rejected to pass

1185
01:47:47.119 --> 01:47:54.800
on to the semifinals. That's audio
Verse Awards dot net slash vote. The

1186
01:47:54.960 --> 01:47:58.800
more shows you vote for, the
higher your vote has waited. So please

1187
01:47:58.840 --> 01:48:04.399
consider our friends OZ nine and the
Amelia Project. We'll see again soon.

1188
01:48:04.800 --> 01:48:09.840
We hope you enjoyed oops all bards, and thank you for voting for us

1189
01:48:10.199 --> 01:48:14.039
in the audio Verse Awards. You
haven't till November eleventh to cast your vote,

1190
01:48:14.720 --> 01:48:15.640
so why not do it now.