WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:11.439 This is pod Populi Podcast for the People, the Great Love Debate. It's 2 00:00:11.439 --> 00:00:17.879 the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate. It's a Great Love Debate. 3 00:00:18.359 --> 00:00:22.719 Hi again everyone, It's Brian Howie. Welcome to the Great Love Debate, 4 00:00:22.760 --> 00:00:26.719 the world's number one dating and relationship podcasts since two thousand and fifteen. 5 00:00:26.760 --> 00:00:31.519 I am here in the very fine studios of pod Populi Podcast for the People. 6 00:00:31.640 --> 00:00:35.240 I am at the one in Boca Raton, Florida. Uh. The 7 00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:44.679 weather is deep, jungle, humid, Jurassic Park disgusting, but you know, 8 00:00:45.000 --> 00:00:47.759 brighter, brighter days ahead, I suppose. Thank you for all the 9 00:00:47.759 --> 00:00:50.600 feedback, the people who gave me the show, the feedback on the show 10 00:00:50.600 --> 00:00:54.640 we did in London, which I really enjoyed doing. I know, I'm 11 00:00:54.679 --> 00:00:56.640 gonna talk about that for a long time, how much I like London. 12 00:00:56.679 --> 00:00:59.600 But I'm back in Boca, which most of the year is very very nice. 13 00:00:59.640 --> 00:01:03.079 Now is I always say two things on this show. One is we 14 00:01:03.079 --> 00:01:06.120 are always trying to sell hope, and we've done a lot of podcasts in 15 00:01:06.159 --> 00:01:08.680 the last year that we're a little less than hopeful. We did some divorce 16 00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:14.560 stuff, we did some breakup staff, we did some the world is hard 17 00:01:14.599 --> 00:01:19.000 staff or whatever. So I wanted to do something that I think is a 18 00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:26.400 little more hopeful. Today. I'm bringing my guest in a second. My 19 00:01:26.480 --> 00:01:30.040 longtime producer of this show, the two time Emery Award winning Kiko, used 20 00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:34.079 to always say to me, everybody thinks they can do my job, and 21 00:01:34.120 --> 00:01:37.920 I was always like, yeah, people say that to me too. You 22 00:01:37.959 --> 00:01:40.719 know. There was a point where when we were on the Great Love Debate 23 00:01:40.719 --> 00:01:46.640 tour about the second year in we were trying to find different people to host 24 00:01:46.719 --> 00:01:49.680 the show and have this going on all over the place in the country at 25 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:52.760 the same time, because it was really hard on me to get to every 26 00:01:52.799 --> 00:01:56.599 city and host it. And so we actually spent a summer sort of in 27 00:01:56.719 --> 00:02:01.040 Chicago auditioning people to do what I do, and we couldn't find them, 28 00:02:01.040 --> 00:02:04.640 and I wanted to find them. And my manager at the time said, 29 00:02:04.680 --> 00:02:07.079 Okay, it's no longer the Great Love Debate, It's now the Great Love 30 00:02:07.120 --> 00:02:08.840 Debate with Brian Howie. And I was like, good, fuck, Now 31 00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:10.800 I have to do it the whole time. You know, you kind of 32 00:02:10.840 --> 00:02:14.319 have to really be curious about this stuff, and you really kind of have 33 00:02:14.360 --> 00:02:19.319 to want to have these conversations. So why I bring that up? Everybody 34 00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:21.960 can do my job, which she said, and she's a big time reality 35 00:02:21.960 --> 00:02:27.280 television producer, is that my guest here is currently has a job that I 36 00:02:27.280 --> 00:02:36.800 think is one of the most challenging jobs that you could possibly have because the 37 00:02:36.919 --> 00:02:40.080 risk reward on it so much can go wrong, and if it goes right, 38 00:02:40.199 --> 00:02:44.719 it's almost like there's disaster or relief. There's a very few and I 39 00:02:44.879 --> 00:02:46.960 say that a lot. When I used to do live theater, people used 40 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:49.120 to be like, oh my god, are you so excited it's opening night. 41 00:02:49.159 --> 00:02:51.879 I'm like, no, it's disaster or relief. You sort of get 42 00:02:51.879 --> 00:02:55.400 through it anyway. She is the host of the Wedding Buzz podcast, which 43 00:02:55.400 --> 00:02:59.319 you should check out. She has a lot the thing of things to say 44 00:02:59.319 --> 00:03:02.159 about sort of the philosophy about what we're trying to do on our wedding day 45 00:03:02.199 --> 00:03:07.000 and beyond, especially from the bride's point of view. She's a fairly recent 46 00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:09.599 bride herself. I believe Sidney Wyden, how are you hi, I'm good. 47 00:03:09.719 --> 00:03:13.520 Thank you for having me on. Everybody always thinks that, oh my 48 00:03:13.560 --> 00:03:20.080 god, I could plan weddings. No you couldn't. It's the most important 49 00:03:20.159 --> 00:03:23.759 day of or at least in the conversation for the most important day of at 50 00:03:23.800 --> 00:03:29.479 least one, maybe both of their lives. It's such a high wire act, 51 00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:34.879 filled with stress, filled with visions that are hard to pull off, 52 00:03:35.039 --> 00:03:38.280 filled with You're trying to capture a feeling that is tough for her to even 53 00:03:39.039 --> 00:03:43.520 eloquently enunciated, to plan it out. What made you even want to get 54 00:03:43.560 --> 00:03:46.039 into a racket like this? You know? I kind of fell into it. 55 00:03:46.120 --> 00:03:52.719 I was at Einstein Bagel's freshman year of college, sitting with my friend 56 00:03:52.759 --> 00:03:55.280 who was engaged, and we were talking about her wedding and she was in 57 00:03:55.280 --> 00:03:58.759 that like, oh, we could do this, and I could do that 58 00:03:58.879 --> 00:04:01.439 and like this stuff. And I was asking questions, well, how is 59 00:04:01.479 --> 00:04:03.280 this going to happen? And how is this going to happen? And she 60 00:04:03.400 --> 00:04:06.719 looked at me and was like, you should be a wedding planner. And 61 00:04:06.879 --> 00:04:11.960 at eighteen, I didn't even know that that was a career people had, 62 00:04:12.280 --> 00:04:16.439 right, And so I looked into it and realized that at my college the 63 00:04:16.480 --> 00:04:21.879 hospitality program had an event management concentration. And I got a job with a 64 00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:26.959 wedding planner and switched my nature and just kind of dove into it. So 65 00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:29.439 I kind of she was like, you should do this, and then I 66 00:04:29.480 --> 00:04:33.480 realized maybe I really should do And so your impression of what that was versus 67 00:04:33.519 --> 00:04:36.560 the reality of what it is? What is the what is the difference? 68 00:04:36.600 --> 00:04:39.519 If there's anything A lot of people think it's like, oh, I could 69 00:04:39.519 --> 00:04:43.199 pick flowers and colors and patterns, and it's you know what's funny is that? 70 00:04:43.279 --> 00:04:46.079 Like I remember, like the first wedding, I was like, oh, 71 00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:50.639 like this is a production. Like yeah, you're a producer. Yeah, 72 00:04:50.680 --> 00:04:55.879 that's exactly yeah. And like now I'm a bit older, I have 73 00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:58.639 been married a lot of my friends, I've been married, I've been abroad, 74 00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:01.279 I've been on every goal of weddings. So I understand it. But 75 00:05:01.319 --> 00:05:04.800 back then I it was I remember the first wedding, I was just like 76 00:05:04.839 --> 00:05:10.120 whoa, Like it's a production, but I also loved it. I didn't 77 00:05:10.360 --> 00:05:14.120 have a concrete thing of what I wanted to do when I grow up. 78 00:05:14.360 --> 00:05:18.199 I am a girly girl. I love glitz, glamor whatever. I also 79 00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:20.720 at the time, like I played guitar and I saying and so I was 80 00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:23.800 like, I want to be Taylor Swift. But that was not going to 81 00:05:23.879 --> 00:05:27.839 happen. So I saw these weddings as like, but I also love business, 82 00:05:28.079 --> 00:05:30.600 and so you're like, well, I could be the music at your 83 00:05:30.600 --> 00:05:35.199 wedding. Maybe not the music, but you know, it's a whole production. 84 00:05:35.240 --> 00:05:36.759 But I also fell in love with it. At the same time, 85 00:05:36.800 --> 00:05:42.439 I was like, whoa, I can you know, bring my business skills 86 00:05:43.000 --> 00:05:47.920 and like my organization and logistics into something that is girly and fun and pretty. 87 00:05:48.199 --> 00:05:53.959 You are every wedding I think you. From a wedding planner's perspective is 88 00:05:54.000 --> 00:06:00.199 you have to solve a puzzle, and this puzzle involves their personality. It 89 00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:03.199 involves a lot of moving parts in terms of friends and family and what you're 90 00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:08.560 doing. It has a lot of to do with venue and certainly cost making 91 00:06:08.639 --> 00:06:13.879 people's dreams happen when no matter how wealthy are, there's budget limitations and you 92 00:06:13.920 --> 00:06:16.079 have to break the news to them like, you know, we probably can't 93 00:06:16.399 --> 00:06:20.360 this is what that will cost. And then there's you don't want to disappoint 94 00:06:20.439 --> 00:06:24.639 them because you're trying to give them the feeling of the dream. That has 95 00:06:24.639 --> 00:06:27.319 to be something that's challenging to learn, no matter how long you've been doing 96 00:06:27.319 --> 00:06:30.240 it. Yeah, it is, it is, and you know, the 97 00:06:30.279 --> 00:06:34.160 budget is never a fun conversation, especially these days. We live in such 98 00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:38.680 a at what's the word comparative, that's not a word, but anyway, 99 00:06:38.720 --> 00:06:43.519 like everyone compares, is it a word? A comparative culture where you're seeing 100 00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:46.160 these weddings on social media and everyone thinks, like I can have that, 101 00:06:46.240 --> 00:06:53.199 And it's a harsh reality of what you think online looks like a forty thousand 102 00:06:53.279 --> 00:06:58.439 dollars wedding is truly over one hundred thousand dollars and beyond like, yeah, 103 00:06:59.040 --> 00:07:02.680 people, what people might think is like an average wedding is so much more 104 00:07:02.680 --> 00:07:08.600 expensive than people think, and it's it is. It is tough because you 105 00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:11.519 don't want to break the bank on a wedding. It's just one day. 106 00:07:11.680 --> 00:07:14.480 It's one big party. You don't want to go into debt and stuff over 107 00:07:14.519 --> 00:07:16.519 it. But on the flip side, it's your one wedding day. So 108 00:07:16.680 --> 00:07:20.040 finding that balance is a little tricky and a lot of times not stereotype, 109 00:07:20.040 --> 00:07:25.519 but that's what we do here at the Great Love Debate. This is the 110 00:07:25.560 --> 00:07:28.439 most important day for the bride A lot of time, this is the destination. 111 00:07:28.639 --> 00:07:30.959 The men are kind of like Okay, I want to start the marriage, 112 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:33.519 but a lot of times she has dreamt of this day. Yes, 113 00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:38.040 since she was a young girl. Her wedding day is her day, and 114 00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:42.399 I respect that totally. And to not have that day and the way you 115 00:07:42.399 --> 00:07:44.839 wanted, that's what it was. One of the challenges with COVID for a 116 00:07:44.879 --> 00:07:47.480 couple of years, Like people are like, we're engaged, our weddings canceled, 117 00:07:47.519 --> 00:07:50.439 do we half ascet? Do we put people in masks? Do we 118 00:07:50.480 --> 00:07:54.399 not do it? Do we wait two years? Like that had to be 119 00:07:54.519 --> 00:07:59.480 really challenging and blow up a lot of dreams I think for people, right, 120 00:07:59.600 --> 00:08:03.839 Yeah, I mean it is challenging and there's not a perfect like kind 121 00:08:03.879 --> 00:08:05.720 of like what you were saying with theater. I mean I, like I 122 00:08:05.720 --> 00:08:09.920 said, I played guitar, so I've done like shows and it's it's kind 123 00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:13.800 of a make or break. It's either gonna happen great or not. And 124 00:08:13.839 --> 00:08:18.160 if it doesn't go well, it just didn't. That performance didn't go well. 125 00:08:18.680 --> 00:08:22.360 And your job is to try and think of a hundred possible things that 126 00:08:22.480 --> 00:08:26.639 could go wrong, yes, and if you're lucky, you get ninety percent 127 00:08:26.639 --> 00:08:28.519 of them right, and you get just get some luck it's it's preparation and 128 00:08:28.600 --> 00:08:33.039 luck hope it makes it up and a lot of things can happen. I 129 00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:39.039 said on this podcast a few months ago about how my cousin was just hung 130 00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:41.480 over from the rehearsal dinner the night before and he just fainted on the altar 131 00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:45.120 like that, but just put a damper on things. And I remember the 132 00:08:45.200 --> 00:08:48.559 wedding planners there had to leap into action with some quick music and some entertainment, 133 00:08:48.679 --> 00:08:52.840 like you have to be prepared for this happened. You have to be 134 00:08:52.879 --> 00:08:56.360 prepared for the flowers weren't exactly what you wanted. You have to be prepared 135 00:08:56.399 --> 00:09:00.000 for too many people, too few people cancel. All these kind of things 136 00:09:00.240 --> 00:09:05.080 can go wrong, and you're in the eye of the blame. They are 137 00:09:05.240 --> 00:09:07.639 entrusting you with their dream and their money, and you gotta hit that bulls 138 00:09:07.639 --> 00:09:13.480 eye. Yeah, I feel like I'm stressing you out talking about You're like 139 00:09:13.519 --> 00:09:16.679 I'm going to go back into some other job. I quit. No, 140 00:09:16.960 --> 00:09:20.960 you're right, You're right, And I think that it is just our job 141 00:09:20.039 --> 00:09:24.039 to think of all these things. And you know there is no perfect but 142 00:09:24.080 --> 00:09:30.120 there are things that you can do to prepare yourself well. For example, 143 00:09:30.159 --> 00:09:33.679 like the timeline I overestimate everything. I like an hour and a half, 144 00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:37.679 cocktail hour. You know, give people food, They're okay for an hour 145 00:09:37.720 --> 00:09:41.639 and a half. They don't realize as long as they have food and drinks, 146 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:43.240 they won't realize that it's an hour and a half instead of an hour. 147 00:09:43.559 --> 00:09:48.080 But that gives you some wiggle room. It gives you some time, 148 00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:50.159 you know, like overestimate how long things are going to take. Of course 149 00:09:50.200 --> 00:09:54.879 not too long because you don't want the day to drag, but by giving 150 00:09:54.879 --> 00:10:00.399 yourself that little wiggle room, when something pops up, oh it's you know 151 00:10:00.440 --> 00:10:03.759 what, we have ten minutes in the schedule, so we're okay, We're 152 00:10:03.799 --> 00:10:07.559 okay, let's figure it out because we have this time. I always like 153 00:10:07.840 --> 00:10:15.360 packing, like the way that I suggest people pack pack things for every event 154 00:10:15.480 --> 00:10:18.879 kind of separately, so that you have your little like emergency kits right ready 155 00:10:18.919 --> 00:10:22.600 to go. So it's of course there's always gonna there might be an uh 156 00:10:22.639 --> 00:10:26.440 oh or something, but at least it's not like, oh, and we 157 00:10:26.519 --> 00:10:31.960 have no no supplies, no backup plan. It's hey, we have this 158 00:10:31.039 --> 00:10:35.000 kit, let me go grab it. We're gonna be okay. What is 159 00:10:35.039 --> 00:10:39.000 the proper amount of time you bring up timelines from the time somebody meets with 160 00:10:39.080 --> 00:10:43.960 you. Are most of them like we're getting married in nine months? Or 161 00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:46.519 is it two months? Or is it all over the boys that two years? 162 00:10:46.559 --> 00:10:50.080 What is that venue? Specific? Sometimes it like we want to get 163 00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:54.039 married here, and it's like, good luck. I think it's it's something 164 00:10:54.080 --> 00:10:58.039 that I I think it's funny that I can't put a number on it because 165 00:10:58.039 --> 00:11:03.440 it's so different. I think it depends on kind of the budget of the 166 00:11:03.480 --> 00:11:07.679 wedding. Smaller budgets a lot of the time are more quick, casual, 167 00:11:07.759 --> 00:11:11.000 Let's just get it done and okay, we can whip this together in three 168 00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:16.759 four months. Bigger budgets often are aligned with brides who want things to be 169 00:11:16.840 --> 00:11:22.159 a certain way, and that takes time, so it really vary. It's 170 00:11:22.159 --> 00:11:24.480 funny. I did a wedding XBO a couple of weeks ago, and I 171 00:11:24.519 --> 00:11:28.320 ask every bride that comes, when is your wedding and when did you get 172 00:11:28.360 --> 00:11:31.360 engaged? What's your timeline here? And it just I get everything from like, 173 00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:35.639 my wedding is in October, can you help us out to my wedding 174 00:11:35.720 --> 00:11:41.399 is October twenty twenty five? Yeah, well, a lot of people are 175 00:11:41.440 --> 00:11:43.960 waiting on the perfect venue. There's a lot of really fantastic venues in this 176 00:11:45.039 --> 00:11:48.039 part of the world. But then you're dealing with weather at certain times of 177 00:11:48.039 --> 00:11:50.639 the year. You know, you can go get you know, try and 178 00:11:50.679 --> 00:11:54.120 book the breakers up in Palm Beach or Addison here in book Raton or the 179 00:11:54.200 --> 00:11:56.919 Book or Raton Resort or something like that. You got to hit the right 180 00:11:56.080 --> 00:12:03.080 day and the right time and all that. The biggest I don't think negotiation 181 00:12:03.159 --> 00:12:09.480 is the word, but maybe is food? Is the DJ versus band? 182 00:12:09.759 --> 00:12:13.159 Is it? What is the thing that that is the biggest part of negotiation? 183 00:12:13.279 --> 00:12:16.559 Is it? What are we serving cocktail? Our location? What is 184 00:12:16.600 --> 00:12:18.720 it? It's funny because it depends on are you talking to the bride? 185 00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:22.879 Are you talking to the groom? I think I'm talking to the bride. 186 00:12:22.200 --> 00:12:26.360 Maybe I'm talking to the father of the bride. I don't know. I 187 00:12:26.399 --> 00:12:31.240 can tell you father of the bride and groom usually care about food and bar, 188 00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:37.600 and the bride often cares about the pretty of what are the flowers? 189 00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:41.679 What's this going to look like? The aesthetic father is usually budget. I 190 00:12:41.679 --> 00:12:45.639 mean, we're being super stereotypical that's what we do here. Well, I'm 191 00:12:45.639 --> 00:12:48.799 going to be even more stereotypical. I can't tell you how many guys are 192 00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:54.399 upset about fall weddings because it falls on college football Saturdays, which is a 193 00:12:54.440 --> 00:12:56.120 really big deal to a lot of people, especially in this part of the 194 00:12:56.159 --> 00:13:01.120 world. Yeah, for sure. I mean that my husband is one of 195 00:13:01.159 --> 00:13:03.200 those guys that would be devastated if we had to go to a wedding and 196 00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:05.720 then they're watching on their phone or they're in the bar on the TV. 197 00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:09.279 It's like go Buckeyes or whatever their team is, and the bride is like, 198 00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:16.080 this is my day. Yeah. The one thing that like I kind 199 00:13:16.080 --> 00:13:18.799 of suggest to people is like, if your spouse isn't super into the planning, 200 00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:24.799 don't make them be you know, include them in some things and like 201 00:13:24.879 --> 00:13:28.200 ask them like, hey, this means a lot to me, right, 202 00:13:28.279 --> 00:13:31.320 please participate. But like if they're just if it's just not their thing and 203 00:13:31.360 --> 00:13:35.159 they're saying, you're like you know what, honey, Like you pick the 204 00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:41.000 right and and there's a fine line between showing support and showing indifference. Yes, 205 00:13:41.080 --> 00:13:43.279 and you have to be like, what, I support everything you want, 206 00:13:43.480 --> 00:13:46.360 run anything by me. I'll give you my ideas if you want them, 207 00:13:46.360 --> 00:13:48.399 but I want you to have the freedom to create the day that you 208 00:13:48.399 --> 00:13:52.120 want to day. And that's it. I think that's reasonable. A lot 209 00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:54.559 of guys aren't very good at having that conversation, no, and I agree. 210 00:13:54.600 --> 00:13:58.200 There are some guys that are probably not very nice about it. And 211 00:13:58.240 --> 00:14:03.440 then there are some brides that are probably like way overboard of wanting him to 212 00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:05.559 be as excited. And I think just because he's not as excited about the 213 00:14:05.559 --> 00:14:09.320 flowers doesn't mean that he's not excited to marry you, right, because like 214 00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:13.320 I said earlier, he's like, let's get to the honeymoon. My husband 215 00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:20.639 wanted to get married at bass Pro shops and so it's like and he was 216 00:14:22.120 --> 00:14:26.360 serious. I mean, it's a great place. So the one Inn Island 217 00:14:26.399 --> 00:14:30.559 Marada and the Keys actually has like a little beach front and they do weddings 218 00:14:30.559 --> 00:14:33.080 and it is pretty. It is pretty. No hate on bass Pro, 219 00:14:33.399 --> 00:14:35.279 but that was not my vision for the day. And the thing is, 220 00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:37.519 it's like I could have kept asking him like, what do you think? 221 00:14:37.519 --> 00:14:41.600 What do you think? He honestly that's what he wanted and he wanted to 222 00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:46.279 walk down the aisle to the James Bond theme song, and so like, 223 00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:50.600 I couldn't keep asking him what he wanted because that's what he wanted and it 224 00:14:50.639 --> 00:14:54.039 was not going to happen. So but he also at the same time was 225 00:14:54.080 --> 00:14:58.200 like, it's okay, babe, just you you pick what you want, 226 00:14:58.840 --> 00:15:05.200 right how Again another stereotype generally speaking, does the father of the bride write 227 00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:11.360 the check? Often? Yes? Often? Yeah, often yes. Of 228 00:15:11.399 --> 00:15:16.440 course, there's so many other situations. Yeah, it's tough when two young 229 00:15:16.440 --> 00:15:18.120 people are trying to pay for their own wedding. That that is a hard 230 00:15:18.159 --> 00:15:20.960 thing too, because they want to give it and you don't want to just 231 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:26.080 have a bullet chips like you kind of want to. There's always people who 232 00:15:26.200 --> 00:15:31.840 unfortunately don't have a good relationship with their father or Yeah, they're some people 233 00:15:31.879 --> 00:15:35.159 if they're later in life, they might be more successful than their parents are, 234 00:15:35.320 --> 00:15:39.960 and so they end up paying for their own wedding, like asking their 235 00:15:39.000 --> 00:15:43.840 parents. My dad, who had a fair amount of money, my sister 236 00:15:43.919 --> 00:15:48.679 who had a giant, ridiculous wedding. My dad drew the line at the 237 00:15:48.799 --> 00:15:52.679 champagne toast. He's like, I'm not paying for people to take one sip 238 00:15:52.720 --> 00:15:54.559 and put it down, and that is like fifteen grand worth of champagne or 239 00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:58.440 whatever. He is no, and she freaked out. They had a huge 240 00:15:58.440 --> 00:16:00.399 fight about it. He's like, they can have their they could take a 241 00:16:00.440 --> 00:16:03.519 sip of whatever their beverage is not paying for it. And I thought, 242 00:16:03.559 --> 00:16:06.879 like drawn a line there. Yeah, it's fourigner people at his wedding. 243 00:16:06.879 --> 00:16:08.879 That's where he's like, I'm not paying for that. Maybe the champagne. 244 00:16:10.559 --> 00:16:12.759 No that I mean honestly, when we're talking budget, that is a common 245 00:16:12.799 --> 00:16:17.159 thing of like if you can go, if you're okay with not having the 246 00:16:17.240 --> 00:16:19.399 champagne toast, like just do a toast with whatever drink they had right, 247 00:16:19.600 --> 00:16:23.080 so much champagne gets dumped at the end of it. Does I agree, 248 00:16:23.639 --> 00:16:26.360 all right, Well we have to pay for things like champagne toasts around here. 249 00:16:26.360 --> 00:16:30.200 So I'm he was He wouldn't. She's the host of the wedding buzz. 250 00:16:30.240 --> 00:16:36.559 We're talking about happily ever after, I think, but I gotta take 251 00:16:36.559 --> 00:16:42.720 a quick break and we will be back right after this. And we are 252 00:16:42.759 --> 00:16:47.759 back now. I'm not gonna you know, you have been doing this that 253 00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:49.639 long, you have been doing this for thirty five years, But have you 254 00:16:49.720 --> 00:16:55.840 run into a situation where you're like these people probably shouldn't even be getting married, 255 00:16:56.600 --> 00:17:00.960 or they're just everything is a fight and you're like this doesn't bode well. 256 00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:06.359 Or now of course you have those few they're just like like how is 257 00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:08.119 this gonna go? The one thing that I don't know if they were weren't 258 00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:15.000 meant to be, but it kind of made me sad is we did this. 259 00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:18.079 This moment actually made me decide not to do a first look at my 260 00:17:18.119 --> 00:17:21.119 wedding. I like, in that moment, was like I'm not I'm not 261 00:17:21.160 --> 00:17:25.079 doing a first look. We did the first look and he was, you 262 00:17:25.160 --> 00:17:30.240 know, happy to see her, and then as we're like walking back inside, 263 00:17:30.279 --> 00:17:33.039 he was like, all right, so we did this, like what 264 00:17:33.079 --> 00:17:36.519 do I do at the ceremony? And I was like, what do you 265 00:17:36.519 --> 00:17:37.680 mean? He's like, I don't know, Like I was supposed to look 266 00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:41.079 excited when I saw her. Now I did, and then at the ceremony 267 00:17:41.119 --> 00:17:45.200 like what am I supposed to do? Then I'm like fake it, yeah, 268 00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:51.480 cry again, like be happy like I don't know, and so I 269 00:17:51.519 --> 00:17:56.759 don't. Hopefully they're still together and everything's great, but I just was like, 270 00:17:56.599 --> 00:18:03.920 where do you what's the first thing you you figure out venue, amount 271 00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:08.599 of guests, budget of obviously both. Yeah, so I suggest kind of 272 00:18:08.599 --> 00:18:12.200 two rounds of this of like estimated guest count. It's hard to off the 273 00:18:12.839 --> 00:18:15.480 you get engaged the next week to be like, Okay, this is our 274 00:18:15.480 --> 00:18:19.880 finalized list. But seriously sit down and like, count how many people? 275 00:18:21.240 --> 00:18:23.880 And all those people that you're like, maybe not include them, because it's 276 00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:29.039 easier to go down than up. Like if the venue. If you find 277 00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:30.640 a venue that fits one hundred people and you're like, yeah, we have 278 00:18:30.920 --> 00:18:34.240 eighty people, perfect, well then you keep adding and adding adding. Now 279 00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:37.400 you run into trouble. So figure out your guest list, figure out your 280 00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:45.559 budget a ballpark, realistic ballpark budget. Have the tough conversations with family members 281 00:18:45.599 --> 00:18:48.200 who have said like, oh, we're gonna give to you, like okay, 282 00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:53.279 how how much? Uncomfortable conversations, but like you have to have it. 283 00:18:53.319 --> 00:18:59.599 And then I suggest venue because venue links like the capacity at the venue 284 00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:03.119 is to your guest count, day, time of year, Yeah, is 285 00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:07.119 it available? Is it available the budget. You have to know a budget 286 00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:10.880 to know if the venue is good or bad. And then the venue is 287 00:19:10.920 --> 00:19:14.680 linked to the date. So that's definitely where the building blocks where you got 288 00:19:14.680 --> 00:19:18.720 to start. Food comes where in the in the chain pretty early, pretty 289 00:19:18.759 --> 00:19:29.039 early. Ever, I like finding all your vendors pretty early. A lot 290 00:19:29.079 --> 00:19:33.200 of the food. A lot of venues include food. So if that's the 291 00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:37.240 case, then like it's kind of checked off. If they don't include the 292 00:19:37.240 --> 00:19:41.920 food, then I would pretty quickly find a caterer to at least lock in 293 00:19:41.960 --> 00:19:45.160 your date and you can always pick the menu later. That's a lot of 294 00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:48.799 these A lot of things with vendors is like you need a photographer, you 295 00:19:48.839 --> 00:19:52.880 need to get that date locked in. So people have food truck weddings now, 296 00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:56.559 they do, they do, and people think it's fun, it's creative 297 00:19:56.640 --> 00:20:00.279 and whatever. I mean, you can be I know some super well healthy 298 00:20:00.319 --> 00:20:06.079 people who have weddings like park on the Beach and just the coolest just a 299 00:20:06.119 --> 00:20:07.839 fun band and it was just awesome. And I've had some people who was 300 00:20:07.920 --> 00:20:11.920 like, oh my god, how many mortgages on how many family members houses 301 00:20:11.960 --> 00:20:14.920 did they take out to put this together? And it didn't necessarily make it 302 00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:18.640 more fun. More money doesn't necessarily make it more fun. I mean what 303 00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:22.480 the guests, like you kind of ask what what the bride and the groom 304 00:20:22.519 --> 00:20:26.039 kind of debate over and the father of the bride. What the guests remember 305 00:20:26.400 --> 00:20:33.599 is food and entertainment. Like some of the women might care what it looked 306 00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:37.920 like and whatnot, but what are they truly going to remember is the food? 307 00:20:38.079 --> 00:20:45.279 And are you? Are you on the side of band or DJ depends? 308 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:48.240 That's a wishy washy answer. I know, I guess I like, 309 00:20:48.440 --> 00:20:53.880 I don't have a I'm a fan of karaoke weddings. Oh yeah, I 310 00:20:53.920 --> 00:21:00.839 want drunk Uncle Joe to be singing Thriller if I if I had to pick, 311 00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:04.519 probably DJ. I think a killer live band can be really cool and 312 00:21:04.599 --> 00:21:08.480 really fun, right, but if the if the band's not good, you 313 00:21:08.519 --> 00:21:12.039 can't be like, hey, can you change the song? So I agree 314 00:21:12.039 --> 00:21:17.440 with that. Somebody told me once that the difference is why the DJ's better. 315 00:21:17.880 --> 00:21:21.160 Not only is the DJ then they're usually probably a good MC and all 316 00:21:21.160 --> 00:21:25.400 that kind of stuff that people know if they're going to dance, and a 317 00:21:25.400 --> 00:21:29.640 lot of people dance twice a year that they need to dance to the song 318 00:21:29.680 --> 00:21:32.599 and the way they know the beat is coming, and sometimes the band is 319 00:21:32.599 --> 00:21:34.200 a hair off and it screws up the dance. Like I've heard that. 320 00:21:34.920 --> 00:21:40.319 Yeah, I'm mixed because, like, I have been to weddings with an 321 00:21:40.319 --> 00:21:44.240 amazing band and it was like killer, you know, But I've been to 322 00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:48.839 weddings where the band just sucked and the bride was in tears the entire night, 323 00:21:48.960 --> 00:21:52.920 and it was like there was not much you could Like I didn't know 324 00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:57.000 how to tell the band to not be bad, and like I did try 325 00:21:57.039 --> 00:22:00.440 to, Like I was like, I need your attention, and they kind 326 00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:03.599 of like put on filler music while I talked, and I was like, 327 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:06.440 the bride gave you a list of songs, like she says, you're not 328 00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:07.599 playing the right songs, and they're like, oh yeah, yeah, we'll 329 00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:10.640 play it, and I'm like, okay, she mentioned this. She mentioned 330 00:22:10.680 --> 00:22:14.480 this, and then they started playing again and they started playing like other stuff, 331 00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:18.519 and it's I was like, I don't I can't be like, yeah, 332 00:22:18.559 --> 00:22:22.119 they're in the middle of the performance, right, is the song their 333 00:22:22.200 --> 00:22:26.039 song first dance the father Daughter? Is that a big part of it or 334 00:22:26.119 --> 00:22:32.759 is that like the last thing that goes in the equation generally for what for 335 00:22:32.880 --> 00:22:36.160 the for the when you're choosing the music, or like the because I'm there's 336 00:22:36.200 --> 00:22:38.440 like this is our song, honey and the grooms like, I don't even 337 00:22:38.440 --> 00:22:42.559 know this song, and then when she dances with her dad, that's usually 338 00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:45.680 a song too. But then you get some of these people really choreographed their 339 00:22:45.720 --> 00:22:48.680 first dances and then they blow it. I mean, there's a lot of 340 00:22:48.680 --> 00:22:52.400 crazy shit that's people remember things that are different, but a lot of people 341 00:22:52.440 --> 00:22:55.880 are stuck with tradition and they grew up thinking about a wedding a certain way 342 00:22:55.920 --> 00:22:57.680 based on what they might have gone to when they were fourteen years old, 343 00:22:59.000 --> 00:23:02.359 and they want to have that old school you know. It depends on the 344 00:23:02.440 --> 00:23:07.119 crowd. Like the younger crowd is definitely more open to like, oh this 345 00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:10.920 is new, this is trendy, she didn't do this traditional thing, And 346 00:23:10.920 --> 00:23:14.519 then you get an older crowd who goes and it's like, how come she's 347 00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:17.400 not doing this and how comes? And it also depends on the part of 348 00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:18.799 the country. If you are in the northeast. I have been to a 349 00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:23.039 lot of Italian weddings where they're passing around the bag of cash and there's like 350 00:23:23.039 --> 00:23:26.160 a one hundred and fifty grand in there at the end of the night, 351 00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:30.559 and they're like, nobody's going to touch that bag with this crowd here nobody, 352 00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:33.079 but they do that and everything is old school, the tossing of the 353 00:23:33.079 --> 00:23:37.759 bouquet, the dance to sit down, all of it. And then sometimes 354 00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:41.720 different parts of the world do different things. Sometimes people want to have weddings 355 00:23:41.759 --> 00:23:45.440 of bass pro shops like the same thing, or they dressed differently, or 356 00:23:45.559 --> 00:23:49.279 the you know, a lot of people want the dark talks and six guys 357 00:23:49.319 --> 00:23:52.519 in a line all like that. And some people are like, where whatever 358 00:23:52.559 --> 00:23:55.839 you want, there should be some imagination in all of this, and your 359 00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:57.759 job is to pull that out of them. Yeah, but people want to 360 00:23:57.799 --> 00:24:00.759 respect tradition of what they leave a wedding looks like in their head. So 361 00:24:02.119 --> 00:24:06.680 I was literally emailing a bride this morning and because she was asking, she 362 00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:08.079 wants to do evites, and I was like, okay, and she's like, 363 00:24:08.119 --> 00:24:11.960 how does this typically work? I was like, okay, well typically 364 00:24:11.519 --> 00:24:15.000 they're not evites and you send to save the date and then this. But 365 00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:18.240 at the end of it, I'm like, but it's your wedding to do 366 00:24:18.279 --> 00:24:21.680 anything you want. That's I mean, the title of my book is Your 367 00:24:21.759 --> 00:24:25.000 Day, Your Way had a plan of perfect wedding without losing sight of what 368 00:24:25.079 --> 00:24:29.759 matters. So let's look at tradition, and then let's look at what you 369 00:24:29.799 --> 00:24:32.240 want to do and how can we kind of meet in the middle here. 370 00:24:32.279 --> 00:24:37.640 How can we find something that fits what you want without pissing off your family 371 00:24:37.720 --> 00:24:41.480 and your guests. The one job that I believe has gotten easier when it 372 00:24:41.480 --> 00:24:47.759 comes to the wedding thing is the photographer because you're too young to remember this. 373 00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:52.240 You know, fifteen years ago he's dropping off a roll of film where 374 00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:55.359 he's developing that he doesn't know if I'm not too young for this. Because 375 00:24:55.359 --> 00:25:00.759 it's become this new trendy thing to do film photography at we and I don't 376 00:25:00.799 --> 00:25:04.200 get it. Why what's the upside of that? I think people just you 377 00:25:04.240 --> 00:25:07.440 know how like it's it was a trendy, it's now trendy for like record 378 00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:11.880 players again, same thing, it's the same thing. They want developed films. 379 00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:15.359 They want developed film. That's stressful because you want to know you got 380 00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:18.720 the shot and it Oh my gosh. It drives me insane because it's like 381 00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:22.599 the some of these photographers, I'm going to piss off all these people, 382 00:25:22.599 --> 00:25:26.559 but that's okay. Some of these photographers that only do film photography, they 383 00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:30.559 literally have to bring an assistant which the bride is paying for that assistant to 384 00:25:30.599 --> 00:25:34.640 be there and hold film ready to swap in the camera. And then I've 385 00:25:34.680 --> 00:25:40.759 been at weddings where the photographers like, hold this genuine moment. Hold wait, 386 00:25:41.079 --> 00:25:44.680 let me swap my film, and I'm like, yeah, we we 387 00:25:45.160 --> 00:25:48.839 progressed in the world. We have a camera. Everybody's got phones, and 388 00:25:48.920 --> 00:25:53.519 like, you can take a digital photo and add a filter to make it 389 00:25:53.559 --> 00:25:59.319 look that grainy filmy look. If that's what you want. Yeah, I 390 00:25:59.319 --> 00:26:02.519 think yeah you can. You can filter and get It's not my style, 391 00:26:02.680 --> 00:26:03.680 but if that's what you want, you can do it. Where do you 392 00:26:03.720 --> 00:26:08.720 stand on kids at the wedding and the wedding, because that's controversial too. 393 00:26:10.079 --> 00:26:14.000 My wedding was a no kid wedding, yeah, which is fair if you 394 00:26:14.079 --> 00:26:19.880 are super casual. It's like a backyard barbecue. Family feel like, okay, 395 00:26:19.880 --> 00:26:23.920 fine. My wedding was a formal wedding, and I was like, 396 00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:30.720 no, no, way, no, because it was all it like a 397 00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:34.880 like a theater, like a performance. It happens once and I don't can't 398 00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:38.960 risk something. Sorry parents and kids. But yeah, the amount of money 399 00:26:40.039 --> 00:26:45.079 that we paid for the video and everything, now, is there one thing 400 00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:48.680 looking back on your own wedding that you're like, now that I know things, 401 00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:52.880 I wish I did this, or I would have done this differently. 402 00:26:55.759 --> 00:27:03.039 I wish my wedding was perfect. No, definitely not the favors I did, 403 00:27:03.119 --> 00:27:06.680 which I had this debate with my parents just the other day. I 404 00:27:06.720 --> 00:27:10.880 did these favors that were like little seedling trees, and I was so focused 405 00:27:10.880 --> 00:27:15.960 on trying to do something different that I did these seedling trees. And then 406 00:27:15.480 --> 00:27:18.519 at the end it was like, this is stupid. Nobody wants a tree 407 00:27:18.920 --> 00:27:22.400 like some which my mom is like, yes they did, like her friend 408 00:27:22.680 --> 00:27:27.279 ed uh Sandy and ed shout out to the cheehis but he has the tree 409 00:27:27.359 --> 00:27:32.720 and he like sends pictures and it's growing and he potted it and all this, 410 00:27:33.119 --> 00:27:34.960 so some people like still have it. But I was like, this 411 00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:40.119 is a lot of trees went to the garbage. Here's my I know that 412 00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:41.720 it was a good idea though, that's that's the kind of thing. On 413 00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:45.759 paper. They looked cute. It was like package cute and had her names 414 00:27:45.799 --> 00:27:49.240 on it. But at the end, watching my I had a planner and 415 00:27:49.279 --> 00:27:52.640 watching her like try to hand out these trees and people who had been drinking 416 00:27:52.640 --> 00:27:56.079 all night, were like, I don't want to tree like one thing that 417 00:27:56.119 --> 00:27:57.240 bothers me about. I love to go to weddings. First of all, 418 00:27:57.240 --> 00:28:00.720 if somebody invites me to a wedding, I'm going. If somebody wants me 419 00:28:00.759 --> 00:28:04.319 there on like the most important day of their life, of course I'm going. 420 00:28:04.359 --> 00:28:07.599 I've been to weddings on the other side of the world because it's people 421 00:28:07.640 --> 00:28:10.000 like I can't believe you're going to that. I'm like, they wanted me 422 00:28:10.079 --> 00:28:11.519 there, so yeah, that's my own need to be wanted. What I 423 00:28:11.559 --> 00:28:15.720 do not want is to be at a singles table. I don't like the 424 00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:19.319 concept of it. I don't like it feels like the loser table. It 425 00:28:19.359 --> 00:28:22.400 feels like, oh, because we put these people next to each other, 426 00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:26.279 they're randomly gonna they're fine, I'm gonna end up to Yeah, I don't 427 00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:30.240 like it. I think it's it's like, oh, hopefully you guys can 428 00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:33.559 be us some days like yeah, so a lot of people do, like 429 00:28:33.599 --> 00:28:38.440 a head table of all the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Yeah. I don't think 430 00:28:38.480 --> 00:28:42.559 it's a bad thing. It's if you want to definitely do it. Something 431 00:28:42.599 --> 00:28:48.119 that I prefer is just like group your people together. Like, for example, 432 00:28:48.160 --> 00:28:52.160 at my wedding, my sister was my maid of honor. Instead of 433 00:28:52.160 --> 00:28:55.720 making her sit like right next to me or at this head table with my 434 00:28:55.799 --> 00:29:00.400 bridesmaids that she wasn't really friends with, I had invited some of her friends 435 00:29:00.119 --> 00:29:04.519 from grad school that she doesn't get to see that often, because I became 436 00:29:04.519 --> 00:29:07.000 friendly with them too, And so I put her at a table with them, 437 00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:11.200 and they were like ecstatic. They haven't seen each other in months, 438 00:29:11.240 --> 00:29:14.039 but they were so so close all grad school. You know, so right, 439 00:29:14.839 --> 00:29:17.880 I put, I put. That's always a weird dynamic at weddings. 440 00:29:17.920 --> 00:29:19.119 You have the college friends, you have, the family, you have the 441 00:29:19.200 --> 00:29:23.119 work friends. You have this weird sort of I like doing. I like 442 00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:26.319 doing tables to a work table. Do you a college table? People are 443 00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:29.720 going to enjoy it the most. They don't want to sit with strangers or 444 00:29:29.799 --> 00:29:32.279 singles table. They want to sit with they now. And if you're giving 445 00:29:32.319 --> 00:29:34.680 a toast out there, it's not for amateurs. Get some help, Like, 446 00:29:34.759 --> 00:29:37.799 get some help. You want to call me. I can write a 447 00:29:37.799 --> 00:29:40.839 really good eulogy, and I can write a really good toast, but you 448 00:29:40.920 --> 00:29:42.599 know, I don't want to hear like the first time I saw those two, 449 00:29:42.640 --> 00:29:48.240 I knew they're I'm not only I'm getting I'm You're not just getting a 450 00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:49.279 husband, I'm getting a brother. Like I don't want to hear that, 451 00:29:49.400 --> 00:29:52.880 Like, think outside of the box yet get a professional to help you. 452 00:29:53.160 --> 00:29:57.000 Here's my most controversial wedding taket. And the women get so mad when I 453 00:29:57.000 --> 00:30:00.960 say this. I will take it to the grave. The way that most 454 00:30:02.119 --> 00:30:08.119 women wear their hair on their wedding day, like tight, lacquered, pulled 455 00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:11.519 up or whatever. You would never wear it that way to a club. 456 00:30:12.160 --> 00:30:15.640 And when you're going to a club, you are trying to look as hot 457 00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:18.200 as you have ever looked. So why on your wedding day are you wearing 458 00:30:18.240 --> 00:30:22.119 your hair in a fashion that you will never wear again in your life and 459 00:30:22.119 --> 00:30:23.680 you have never worn to that point in your life. Seems like the wrong 460 00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:26.799 time to take a risk. Do you know that all the women might hate 461 00:30:26.799 --> 00:30:32.519 me? But I agree with you. This has been my Like you just 462 00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:37.119 like outed me. I've had this like like internally every time I see brides 463 00:30:37.160 --> 00:30:41.680 with these like little buns and yeah, real tight and fear and I'm like, 464 00:30:42.720 --> 00:30:45.960 you kind of look bald from the front, and I don't. I 465 00:30:47.000 --> 00:30:48.119 don't get it, Like, well, I want it out of my face. 466 00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:49.759 Well there's a lot of ways to keep it out of your face, 467 00:30:49.799 --> 00:30:52.519 but who cares If your hair is in your face? You look hot? 468 00:30:53.039 --> 00:30:56.839 Get adamn not that what I did for my wedding was like now I'm like, 469 00:30:56.839 --> 00:31:00.519 oh what I did? But like I put the front back so it 470 00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:03.680 wasn't in my face, but the rest was down so I didn't look bald, 471 00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:07.680 and I looked like myself. Right. A lot of times it's like, 472 00:31:07.720 --> 00:31:11.319 oh, you don't look like that ever before and ever again? Why 473 00:31:11.319 --> 00:31:15.640 are you all the days to gamble or to take a chance on a look 474 00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:18.160 that you don't normally do. I just think it's not a good idea. 475 00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:21.279 So what I really suggest that brides do when they go to their trial for 476 00:31:21.319 --> 00:31:23.839 hair and makeup is don't don't go on Pinterest. I mean you can go 477 00:31:23.839 --> 00:31:27.160 on pictures, but like, don't bring a bunch of pictures of other people, 478 00:31:27.400 --> 00:31:32.799 right, find the picture, a few pictures of yourself where you feel 479 00:31:33.039 --> 00:31:36.920 like you look amazing, Right, I love myself in this picture. Bring 480 00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:38.920 that and then say, hey, do an elevated version of this, and 481 00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:42.400 we have so many pictures of ourselves these days, there's just another advantage, 482 00:31:42.480 --> 00:31:47.279 like oh my god, I look great that day where it like that. 483 00:31:47.440 --> 00:31:49.079 A lot of people are like, well, I'm taking advantage of the fact 484 00:31:49.079 --> 00:31:52.200 that I have a hair and makeup crew to give me a look that I've 485 00:31:52.240 --> 00:31:53.839 never always wanted to do. No, that's that's not what you do. 486 00:31:55.200 --> 00:31:59.240 So I feel like like this is not allowed for me to say, but 487 00:31:59.599 --> 00:32:05.880 say it when my hair is in a bun. It's like when I look 488 00:32:05.920 --> 00:32:08.079 like a homeless person around the house. Yeah, you, and you also 489 00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:13.160 look stressed or not happy. It's it's an unhappy it's not a fun look. 490 00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:16.119 If hair is in a bun, it's probably not like we need more 491 00:32:16.119 --> 00:32:21.839 ponytails at weddings. There's not ponytails going on. I agree, it's you're 492 00:32:21.839 --> 00:32:22.839 you should be fun, you should be flirty, you should be sexy, 493 00:32:22.839 --> 00:32:25.559 you should be beautiful. There's a lot of ways to accomplish that. And 494 00:32:25.680 --> 00:32:29.039 sorry, a lot of people are mad at me now for saying this, 495 00:32:29.279 --> 00:32:31.680 but I'm glad you agreed with this. This is what you know, and 496 00:32:31.839 --> 00:32:36.920 he loves you as you are, and this is the day like you are 497 00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:40.559 the one He chose you know, a lot of women get married for a 498 00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:44.720 lot of reasons. She wants the house, the dog, the white picket 499 00:32:44.720 --> 00:32:45.839 fence. He's not even on that list. Do you ever notice that that 500 00:32:46.039 --> 00:32:50.640 he's not even there? He I believe when he asked you to marry him, 501 00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:53.359 it's because he wanted to spend fifty years with you. Like, I 502 00:32:53.400 --> 00:32:59.240 think men are fundamentally more romantic about getting married and the women are more about 503 00:32:59.279 --> 00:33:04.960 the wedding. A lot of that stereotype away. Brian Holley. Stereotypes happen 504 00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:07.319 for one thing that you haven't Is there something that you're like, oh my 505 00:33:07.359 --> 00:33:10.960 god, I can't wait for the to suggest this to the right couple to 506 00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:15.400 have them try it in something that you have not encountered, either being out 507 00:33:15.440 --> 00:33:17.799 a wedding or doing what you do for a living, and are like, 508 00:33:17.839 --> 00:33:21.920 I wish a wedding just had a bunch of hula hoops. I don't know. 509 00:33:22.240 --> 00:33:24.119 Is there something that you're like, somebody needs to take a chance and 510 00:33:24.160 --> 00:33:27.599 do this at a wedding or is that putting you on the spot too much? 511 00:33:27.839 --> 00:33:31.160 No, I mean I don't mind being on the spot. I don't 512 00:33:31.160 --> 00:33:36.200 know if it's like it's definitely been done before, but not something that I've 513 00:33:36.200 --> 00:33:42.839 super experienced. I love like entertainment at weddings. I know that it's like 514 00:33:43.039 --> 00:33:47.680 not budget friendly, like a magician just maybe not. I think a magician 515 00:33:47.720 --> 00:33:51.519 work in the room and the reception is a good thing. I just I 516 00:33:51.599 --> 00:33:53.000 just think kind of going back to what I said, like the guests remember 517 00:33:53.039 --> 00:33:59.039 the food and the entertainment. I just think keeping the night fun. Yea 518 00:33:59.200 --> 00:34:04.200 every third minutes, do something different, add a confetti pop, add co 519 00:34:04.519 --> 00:34:07.519 two cannons, have the magician pop in the room. Yeah, have some 520 00:34:07.639 --> 00:34:13.800 dancers or something like. I just think I wish more people focused on fun. 521 00:34:14.039 --> 00:34:15.599 Fun. People are going to remember, how's that wedding? Oh my 522 00:34:15.599 --> 00:34:19.880 god, it was so much fun, And people don't focus on the fun. 523 00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:22.679 Focus on the fun. The other thing with like today, a lot 524 00:34:22.679 --> 00:34:24.599 of people not wanting to do the traditional like bookay toss, carter toss, 525 00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:29.880 Okay, what are you doing? People get tired of dance? Is that 526 00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:35.039 considered sexist? Snow like a bunch of women fighting over the bookay? Like? 527 00:34:35.199 --> 00:34:37.519 Is that is that the reason like a lot of people are steering away 528 00:34:37.559 --> 00:34:40.920 from it. I think a lot of people it's it's trendy, to not 529 00:34:42.400 --> 00:34:44.599 be traditional. So I think that that's part of it. And then I 530 00:34:44.639 --> 00:34:49.840 do think, especially as you're getting into later twenties, thirties or older, 531 00:34:50.519 --> 00:34:52.400 a lot of your friends are married. So then it's almost like, hey, 532 00:34:52.559 --> 00:34:57.519 let's single out the single people and put them on display. So it's 533 00:34:57.559 --> 00:35:01.000 not I guess that nice. Right, that's true too. So I'm not 534 00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:06.440 like saying you have to do the traditional things, but do something nobody your 535 00:35:06.639 --> 00:35:10.639 your guests cannot just dance from seven thirty to ten o'clock in like they're gonna 536 00:35:10.679 --> 00:35:15.559 get bored. They are. There has to be more than pictures, food, 537 00:35:15.760 --> 00:35:19.480 dance, right, you have to come up with something else. Yeah, 538 00:35:19.519 --> 00:35:22.440 and it's not a waste of money in my opinion, like it not 539 00:35:22.599 --> 00:35:25.199 do the confetti pop, do the ceo two cannons. It makes great pictures. 540 00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:30.519 People remember it. It's so fun. Yeah, be creative. What 541 00:35:30.639 --> 00:35:34.559 was the highlight of your own wedding? What's the thing you remember the most 542 00:35:35.239 --> 00:35:44.119 besides your fantastic hair. I just I was really happy during the ceremony. 543 00:35:45.800 --> 00:35:51.519 Yeah, I just remember the whole day. I was just happy and calm, 544 00:35:51.559 --> 00:35:55.159 and I just was nervous that I would be nervous and I really wasn't, 545 00:35:55.320 --> 00:35:59.079 and so I know that that's not one moment, but I was just 546 00:35:59.119 --> 00:36:02.800 really happy even this ceremony. I was just genuinely happy and like in the 547 00:36:02.840 --> 00:36:07.519 moment, and people can feed off that, like that is a good thing. 548 00:36:07.559 --> 00:36:09.280 If you're happy and you can feel that, it doesn't feel like a 549 00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:15.519 stressful thing. And and did you know everybody at your wedding or are there 550 00:36:15.519 --> 00:36:19.360 people who you met for the first time? I knew there were people I 551 00:36:19.400 --> 00:36:22.199 met for the first time, but I knew about ninety nine percent. Like 552 00:36:22.199 --> 00:36:27.519 there was a couple people on his side that I who is this cousin of 553 00:36:27.559 --> 00:36:30.480 yours? Yeah, yeah, there was a couple of people. And we 554 00:36:30.519 --> 00:36:36.039 got married pretty fast. He'd proposed in seven months and then we got married 555 00:36:36.199 --> 00:36:39.480 a year after, so that's about right. Yeah, yeah, I think 556 00:36:39.480 --> 00:36:45.559 that's that's good. I was not down to be begging for like I don't 557 00:36:45.559 --> 00:36:50.400 know, I know some get this is maybe controversial, but it's called the 558 00:36:50.400 --> 00:36:53.440 great love debate. Yeah, some women just begged for that proposal for like 559 00:36:53.800 --> 00:36:59.280 years and years, and I was like, I don't think I want to 560 00:36:59.280 --> 00:37:04.079 do that, and then he just he proposed, probably earlier than I was 561 00:37:04.159 --> 00:37:08.039 expecting. Right. Was it a surprise? Yeah, good, definitely was. 562 00:37:08.159 --> 00:37:12.599 Yeah. He I was surprised. I had like took you down a 563 00:37:12.639 --> 00:37:16.599 bass pro shop and shot it out of a gun. Now he wishes, 564 00:37:17.559 --> 00:37:21.280 he wishes now he did it. He did it on Christmas in front of 565 00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:25.039 my family. And did they know? Yeah, they knew knew. So 566 00:37:25.440 --> 00:37:31.360 I had like weird feelings like I've decided I don't know why. I went 567 00:37:31.360 --> 00:37:37.599 through, like I'm gonna vlog and normally he's like put the camera away, 568 00:37:37.639 --> 00:37:42.559 like don't I don't want it, And that day he was like, here, 569 00:37:42.639 --> 00:37:45.760 babe, I'll help you set up your camera right before we were about 570 00:37:45.760 --> 00:37:49.639 to open presence, and I was like huh. But then I also was 571 00:37:49.719 --> 00:37:52.480 thinking like nope, there's no way he's going to propose, but he did. 572 00:37:53.079 --> 00:37:57.000 All right, all right, I'm gonna let you plug your book, 573 00:37:57.239 --> 00:38:00.800 your business, and your podcast, and then is your time on the podcast. 574 00:38:00.840 --> 00:38:02.559 We play something called worst date or first date. So you have to 575 00:38:02.599 --> 00:38:06.840 either think back to your swinging single days of when you had a really bad 576 00:38:06.920 --> 00:38:08.800 date, or give us the really best date you've ever had, could be 577 00:38:08.840 --> 00:38:10.880 with your husband, could be with somebody else, your choice. So, 578 00:38:10.920 --> 00:38:15.079 first of all, tell everybody about your book, tell everybody about your business, 579 00:38:15.079 --> 00:38:16.400 and tell everybody where they can find your podcast. Okay, Yes, 580 00:38:16.519 --> 00:38:20.199 I have a book. It's called Your Day, Your Way. It's on 581 00:38:20.280 --> 00:38:24.039 Amazon. It is an Amazon bestseller. It's a good title. Yeah, 582 00:38:24.159 --> 00:38:30.840 thank you. So yeah, Your Day Your Way on Amazon. My podcast 583 00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:35.079 is The Wedding Buzz, so that is on Spotify Apple. I do upload 584 00:38:35.079 --> 00:38:38.320 the videos on YouTube as well if you want to watch it. We go. 585 00:38:38.760 --> 00:38:43.039 We talk about all things wedding and all a lot of things of that 586 00:38:43.079 --> 00:38:45.239 new couples are going through. And then I am a wedding planner. I 587 00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:49.000 am in West Palm Beach, Florida. So if you need a wedding planner 588 00:38:49.079 --> 00:38:53.760 or if I offer content creation services, So if you need wedding planning or 589 00:38:53.800 --> 00:38:58.639 content creation in South Florida, I'm your girl. Good for you, all 590 00:38:58.719 --> 00:39:05.679 right, worst date or first date your choice? I don't know. Well, 591 00:39:05.719 --> 00:39:07.159 give me your first date with your husband. Then do you remember that? 592 00:39:08.360 --> 00:39:12.679 Yes? I do fly fishing. No, what was it? He 593 00:39:12.800 --> 00:39:15.840 wishes? He's wishes. You've taken a lot of his wishes away, I 594 00:39:15.880 --> 00:39:17.480 know. Give me that one. That's a good hopeful story to end on. 595 00:39:17.760 --> 00:39:21.519 Okay, uh, we met on Bumble. There you go, old 596 00:39:21.519 --> 00:39:25.840 fashioned met him bumble. Well, okay, so you had to go first. 597 00:39:25.880 --> 00:39:30.360 What was your opening line on I wish I remembered that I was not. 598 00:39:31.920 --> 00:39:37.599 I was not like interesting at all. I just was like, hey, 599 00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:42.880 how are you? Like? Yeah, I didn't. I was really 600 00:39:42.960 --> 00:39:46.079 over the dating and stuff. When I met him. I just was like 601 00:39:46.599 --> 00:39:51.760 kind of trying because I felt like I had to. But so I don't 602 00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:55.679 know, probably something boring, Hey how are you? But we did click 603 00:39:57.079 --> 00:40:02.280 like right away. We met three days later. We went to Elizabetta's in 604 00:40:02.599 --> 00:40:07.440 on Atlantic Avenue for Beach, Florida. Yeah, but we also we met 605 00:40:07.519 --> 00:40:10.760 May of twenty twenty. It was COVID. Everything was closed. Yeah, 606 00:40:10.760 --> 00:40:15.159 it was a little less closed here yeah, South Florida, but it was 607 00:40:15.199 --> 00:40:17.159 still most Yeah, that was a weird time to do it. It was 608 00:40:17.199 --> 00:40:22.440 super weird. So it wasn't like that extravagant or anything, but it was 609 00:40:22.480 --> 00:40:27.199 sweet. We literally sat in the in his truck and just talked for hours. 610 00:40:27.280 --> 00:40:30.880 That's got as good at hours that good anything else. A couple of 611 00:40:30.920 --> 00:40:32.760 hours. Yeah, we just sat and talk because there was nothing else and 612 00:40:32.800 --> 00:40:37.159 the movies were closed. Yeah, like two blocks from the beach. Yeah, 613 00:40:37.159 --> 00:40:40.199 I guess we could have gone there it was raining. Nope, we 614 00:40:40.280 --> 00:40:44.239 just sat in the parking lot in the truck. We did. And here 615 00:40:44.239 --> 00:40:46.400 you are and here we are. Good for you. Thank you. This 616 00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:51.239 was fun. This was a little splash of hope on sort of a negative 617 00:40:51.280 --> 00:40:52.840 series of podcast. I'm sorry about that. We cover all sides. We 618 00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:55.559 were four hundred and something episodes here. We gotta slice this apple a lot 619 00:40:55.599 --> 00:41:00.639 of different ways. Uh. As far as us and the Wedding buzz like 620 00:41:00.800 --> 00:41:05.599 share, follow, please review this podcast and Wedding Buzz. You reviews mean 621 00:41:05.599 --> 00:41:08.239 a lot in the podcasting ecosystem. Shoot us in email Great Love Debate at 622 00:41:08.239 --> 00:41:13.599 gmail dot com if you have some thoughts on wedding hairstyles or anything else that 623 00:41:13.679 --> 00:41:16.360 I said about this or anything else. We have a listener letter a mail 624 00:41:16.360 --> 00:41:20.360 bag episode coming up. I think either the next episode or the episode after 625 00:41:20.400 --> 00:41:22.079 that. I have a fairly big celebrity who I've been trying to get on 626 00:41:22.159 --> 00:41:25.880 for a long long time coming up the week after that. Go to Great 627 00:41:25.880 --> 00:41:30.280 Love Debate dot com. I think there's some live shows to finish out the 628 00:41:30.320 --> 00:41:32.440 year. I don't know. I'm losing my mojo on it only because I'm 629 00:41:32.440 --> 00:41:36.400 tired of traveling, but I do have some obligations to do some live shows. 630 00:41:37.960 --> 00:41:39.599 Like I said, we lost a bunch of our live tour shows to 631 00:41:39.639 --> 00:41:43.360 COVID and got to make them up. Gotta give the people what they want 632 00:41:43.679 --> 00:41:47.320 because, as always at the Great Love Debate, we never stop making love. 633 00:41:47.360 --> 00:41:58.480 See next time the Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate, 634 00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:02.480 the great love to face, It's a great love to fath