WEBVTT 1 00:00:12.039 --> 00:00:16.160 Hello, kleeps, it's me John Coulsier, the voice of the Crypt Keeper, 2 00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:32.359 and you're listening to Chronicle from the Crypt. Oh there, I'm Chris 3 00:00:32.439 --> 00:00:36.600 Stashu and I'm Father Malone, and we are the hosts of Chronicles from the 4 00:00:36.679 --> 00:00:40.799 Crypt twice a month. Look at the horror anthology series Tales from the Crypt 5 00:00:41.079 --> 00:00:46.159 that aired on HBO from nineteen eighty nine to nineteen ninety six. Oh yeah, 6 00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:49.719 that's my line. Um, there are bonus episodes after every season, 7 00:00:49.759 --> 00:00:53.799 which I encourage you to go back and watch because because there will not be 8 00:00:53.880 --> 00:00:57.759 another one. This is the final, the final hurrah here. Well, 9 00:00:57.799 --> 00:01:02.159 to be fair, we don't know if we're doing it anything. We'll probably 10 00:01:02.159 --> 00:01:03.719 do a wrap up for this season. Yes, absolutely, I think we 11 00:01:03.760 --> 00:01:07.120 should do an overall wrap up. Yeah, I mean, if you want 12 00:01:07.120 --> 00:01:11.439 to count that as a bonus episode. Yeah, yeah, Well it's more 13 00:01:11.480 --> 00:01:15.439 of a bonus in the sense that likes we're not talking about the show specifically, 14 00:01:15.519 --> 00:01:17.680 right, episode by episode? Ye yeah, I get it. But 15 00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:21.599 yeah so, but this is the penultimate episode of our show. At least, 16 00:01:21.599 --> 00:01:26.079 I'm talking about the show proper, yes, which is a shame because 17 00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:29.959 the episodes we're talking about eleven and twelve of season seven. Confession and Ear 18 00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:34.000 Today, Gone Tomorrow are two episodes in season seven, so let's talk about 19 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:40.200 them. Read the next line, phony, please, Okay, I see 20 00:01:40.879 --> 00:01:47.799 m D see. Okay, that's enough. I think I see what the 21 00:01:47.840 --> 00:01:53.120 problem is. Your eyes are in terrible shape, probably from watching too much 22 00:01:53.200 --> 00:02:00.719 Tales from the Crypt. To fix it will require coactive lenses, maybe even 23 00:02:00.920 --> 00:02:07.400 radial skeratotomy, although there is another test I could perform. We'll start by 24 00:02:07.439 --> 00:02:13.639 turning out the lights and making you look at this. It's a nasty nugget 25 00:02:13.840 --> 00:02:21.000 about a writer who's pretty fierce cited himself. I call this one confession. 26 00:02:22.039 --> 00:02:28.840 So Confession aired July fifth, nineteen ninety six. It is directed by Peter 27 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:35.240 Hewitt and written once again by Scott Nimmerfro, and it stars Eddie Izzard and 28 00:02:35.479 --> 00:02:43.599 Saren Hines as a screenwriter and detective, respectively. And Sieren Hines is the 29 00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:49.039 best detective in this precinct, sure is a quirky one. At that Eddie 30 00:02:49.039 --> 00:02:59.080 Izzard is being accused of murdering people because she's a screenwriter who's masquerading as Scott 31 00:02:59.159 --> 00:03:05.280 Nimmerfro. Yeah, basically this is a Scott casting himself saying where fuck you 32 00:03:05.400 --> 00:03:07.879 to the industry, which you know, look, I actually like that sort 33 00:03:07.879 --> 00:03:12.879 of central conceit. It's something I think about from time to time as a 34 00:03:12.960 --> 00:03:16.599 writer, and I often think, like, you know, sometimes you're looking 35 00:03:16.719 --> 00:03:23.960 up odd topics in order to put them into a fictional context, but anyone 36 00:03:23.960 --> 00:03:28.599 who would look at your Google history would think what is wrong with this fucking 37 00:03:28.680 --> 00:03:31.520 person? So on that level life, and you hear that all the time, 38 00:03:31.560 --> 00:03:35.080 by the way, Yeah, so you hear like, oh, we 39 00:03:35.120 --> 00:03:38.360 went and looked at their Google search and it said that you were searching how 40 00:03:38.400 --> 00:03:39.400 to get rid of a dead body. It's like, well, I write 41 00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:46.560 about it for a living, Yeah exactly, So that's I think that is 42 00:03:46.759 --> 00:03:52.199 just a good sort of modern fear, or at least you know from an 43 00:03:52.280 --> 00:03:55.719 artistic point of view that you're trying to do something artistic, but any research 44 00:03:55.840 --> 00:04:00.080 or side work to get to that point can be viewed as DVD and worthy 45 00:04:00.199 --> 00:04:05.400 of prosecution, which clearly happens in this episode where you know it's a screenwriter 46 00:04:05.400 --> 00:04:08.680 who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and he's 47 00:04:08.680 --> 00:04:14.319 now an easy mark to blame these murders on. Well, you know what 48 00:04:14.360 --> 00:04:16.399 they say, you can go You can go to jail for being weird. 49 00:04:16.759 --> 00:04:23.160 You certainly can. Those Paradise Lost Kids are a perfect example, and that 50 00:04:23.279 --> 00:04:26.319 is you're not supposed to go to jail for being weird, but it happens 51 00:04:26.360 --> 00:04:30.360 all the time. Yeah, it's it's easy to convince people of something you're 52 00:04:30.480 --> 00:04:33.639 not, I think, particularly if they've never met you before. But anyway, 53 00:04:33.800 --> 00:04:39.800 that like so the fact that it gets turned into that kind of plot 54 00:04:39.839 --> 00:04:43.519 line, I appreciate it about the episode because as it was in the comic 55 00:04:43.560 --> 00:04:46.800 book, not Tales from the Crypt, this was Shock Suspense Story Shock Suspense 56 00:04:46.800 --> 00:04:51.759 Stories number four, written by Bill Gaines and Al Feldstein and drawn by Wallywood. 57 00:04:53.240 --> 00:04:58.360 Very beautifully drawn by Wallywood in the comic. But the story in the 58 00:04:58.360 --> 00:05:06.759 comic is guy is driving home and witnesses an accident or finds a body basically 59 00:05:08.160 --> 00:05:11.279 like by the side of the road, has no recourse. He's in the 60 00:05:11.319 --> 00:05:14.879 middle of nowhere, so he drives to the next town to call the police, 61 00:05:14.879 --> 00:05:17.680 but gets pulled over on the way. His car has a broken headlight 62 00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:21.480 and they found glass at the scene, so they, you know, they 63 00:05:21.480 --> 00:05:26.959 shake this guy down to get him to confess and then like the lead investigator 64 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:31.199 shows up and really starts hammering that this guy did it, even after the 65 00:05:31.240 --> 00:05:33.639 rest of the people are like, yeah, I don't think he actually did 66 00:05:33.680 --> 00:05:38.680 do it. Like, you know, we've beaten confessions out of tougher guys, 67 00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:43.920 and the central inspector just keeps on going and going and going, and 68 00:05:43.959 --> 00:05:46.319 as it turns out, just like in this episode, it's because the guy 69 00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:51.920 had run his own wife over and needed a scapegoat, and so this became 70 00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:56.560 the guy. So thematically it's the same story. I think the twist with 71 00:05:56.600 --> 00:06:00.240 the screenwriter, while you know, is very meta and we're you know, 72 00:06:00.360 --> 00:06:03.160 kind of tired of all of that now. I thought was a good thing 73 00:06:03.279 --> 00:06:08.319 for that time and place. Like, I didn't hate the episode, and 74 00:06:08.360 --> 00:06:11.839 I particularly it was easy to watch because of the two actors on screen, 75 00:06:12.480 --> 00:06:16.160 but all of the machinations around it just felt a little trope and a little 76 00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:20.240 you know, we've seen this all before. And Peter Hewitt as a director, 77 00:06:20.399 --> 00:06:25.319 like, am I wrong? Did Peter Hewitt direct Bill and Ted's excellent 78 00:06:25.360 --> 00:06:28.879 Adventure? Could I be wrong about that? Was it? The sequel? 79 00:06:29.160 --> 00:06:33.639 He directed Bogus Journey, which is directorially speaking, a better film than that, 80 00:06:33.759 --> 00:06:38.759 so it's not even like the I would also say it's just a better 81 00:06:38.839 --> 00:06:42.480 movie in general, but I know, roast me. But also if you'd 82 00:06:42.480 --> 00:06:45.560 like to hear my opinion, go check out the Projection Booth X culture Cast 83 00:06:45.560 --> 00:06:48.360 episode where we talked about all three movies. And I justify my feelings because 84 00:06:48.399 --> 00:06:50.920 you know what, I'll go to the graves saying Bogus Journey is a better 85 00:06:50.959 --> 00:06:54.319 movie. Oh, it is a better movie, there's no question about it. 86 00:06:54.319 --> 00:06:58.079 Oh it's more it's I know, I know, but you know what 87 00:06:58.199 --> 00:07:00.000 that you know what the problem with it is just like I do. It's 88 00:07:00.040 --> 00:07:04.959 the whole this is a weird movie. They're doing weird things. It's not 89 00:07:05.120 --> 00:07:11.480 time travel, it's you know, Hell and Heaven and everywhere in between. 90 00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:15.000 It's Aliens to Alien though it's like I love both. I love both of 91 00:07:15.040 --> 00:07:19.040 those movies, but I will more often than not put on Bogus Journey just 92 00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:29.439 because it is crazier and ultimately funnier. So and also later evil uses not 93 00:07:29.560 --> 00:07:32.040 bad. Yeah, let's make things bad. Favorite line of the movie. 94 00:07:34.959 --> 00:07:41.319 But anyway, as good at director as Peter Hewett was there, I don't 95 00:07:41.319 --> 00:07:44.160 think he can sort of pull this out, and you know, the look 96 00:07:44.199 --> 00:07:48.959 of the thing is very nineties. It's a lot of sort of overly saturated 97 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:54.199 colors, and you know, we're not sure what world this takes place in. 98 00:07:54.360 --> 00:07:59.399 Everyone is kind of dressed like it takes place in a comic book, 99 00:07:59.480 --> 00:08:01.879 right basically, I mean, you know, if you had said this is 100 00:08:03.079 --> 00:08:07.279 that's what that's that is what I convinced myself of, because otherwise it could 101 00:08:07.319 --> 00:08:09.879 not have been set in reality. Yeah. No, there was a lot 102 00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:13.319 of that in the nineties as well, and I think that sort of got 103 00:08:13.879 --> 00:08:16.800 set off when Tim Burton did Batman and he said it in a kind of 104 00:08:16.839 --> 00:08:22.560 alternate earth where nineteen fifties cars are still around, but it's clearly like late 105 00:08:22.600 --> 00:08:24.759 eighties. Do you know what this reminded me of? Like so much? 106 00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:28.120 And it's an episode from this show, And when I say it, you'll 107 00:08:28.120 --> 00:08:31.879 probably be like, oh, yeah, this reminded me of two for the 108 00:08:31.919 --> 00:08:37.960 show, the David Paymer Tracy Lord's episode two for the show. Oh no, 109 00:08:37.080 --> 00:08:39.600 I don't remember it. I've put it from my mind. Where the 110 00:08:39.679 --> 00:08:43.799 guy where where David Paymer? And that I forget what the actor's name is. 111 00:08:45.159 --> 00:08:48.960 M Vincent Spano were on the train together and it turns out that, 112 00:08:48.320 --> 00:08:52.200 oh, he's the one who's in on it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, 113 00:08:52.360 --> 00:08:54.440 it's the same conceit of this episode. It's like, oh, you're 114 00:08:54.480 --> 00:09:00.639 trying to catch the killer. Wink wink, I am the killer, wink 115 00:09:00.759 --> 00:09:03.360 wink, Like fuck off. Yeah, you know it's funny. I had 116 00:09:03.440 --> 00:09:05.039 never seen this episode before, and I had read the comics, so I 117 00:09:05.120 --> 00:09:11.519 kind of knew that the cop was going to be the killer. But they 118 00:09:11.559 --> 00:09:15.240 make a point of him being a bowler and that's how he's transporting these heads 119 00:09:15.240 --> 00:09:20.360 around. So they take pains to have another cop like unzipper the bag and 120 00:09:20.399 --> 00:09:22.799 look inside and what we see is a bowling ball, but it's just the 121 00:09:22.840 --> 00:09:28.039 top of the bowling ball. Even that felt like like, had I had 122 00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:30.240 no prior knowledge, would be like, yeah, that's a false thing. 123 00:09:30.279 --> 00:09:33.240 Obviously the head is in there. Because it's so obvious that this guy is 124 00:09:33.279 --> 00:09:37.879 the killer. There's there's never any doubt that Eddie Izzard's character is not the 125 00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:43.840 villain. So I don't know. It's really lazy, Yeah, and right, 126 00:09:43.879 --> 00:09:48.679 I mean it's it's the laziest. This is the laziest outcome what ends 127 00:09:48.720 --> 00:09:54.000 up happening. I noticed when somebody goes for a field from the original comic. 128 00:09:54.440 --> 00:09:58.879 They tend to come up with some other new modern concept and in their 129 00:09:58.919 --> 00:10:03.639 mind they've revitalized a stale story. But then they really don't do anything to 130 00:10:03.080 --> 00:10:09.399 get into the story itself. It's more about the setup and the twist and 131 00:10:09.480 --> 00:10:11.879 if we can make the twist different than the comic, but you know, 132 00:10:11.000 --> 00:10:15.159 more shocking, which it never is because we're always expecting it. Because it's 133 00:10:15.159 --> 00:10:20.720 Tales from the crypt You know, that is rife this season. And Scott 134 00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:26.720 was as guilty as anybody there. Oh, Scott Nimmerfro, you had to 135 00:10:26.759 --> 00:10:33.240 go meta, you had to complain about everybody. Hey, whatever, right 136 00:10:35.320 --> 00:10:37.679 you used to write for something called Tales from the crypt Ooh, I'm watching 137 00:10:37.720 --> 00:10:43.000 Tales from the Crypt when you got canceled, Like yeah, we get it. 138 00:10:45.679 --> 00:10:48.600 Like look again, we don't want to throw dirt on the dude's grave 139 00:10:48.600 --> 00:10:52.320 because Scott Nimerfro is no longer with us. But oh, it's a little 140 00:10:52.360 --> 00:10:56.279 on the head, bro. Yeah, oh it's which. Most of his 141 00:10:56.399 --> 00:11:01.240 work on the series was like you got an occasional passable episode and the rest 142 00:11:01.279 --> 00:11:07.279 were kind of just, you know, kind of clever revamps of the stories 143 00:11:07.279 --> 00:11:09.639 that it was based on, but as lazy as anything else. It's you 144 00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:15.480 know, can I recommend this episode? Absolutely not. I mean in comparison 145 00:11:15.519 --> 00:11:18.159 to this season, maybe it was better, maybe it was watchable because of 146 00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:22.279 the performances on screen, but other than that, in my own personal sort 147 00:11:22.279 --> 00:11:28.919 of you know, fear of being wrongly accused, but I brought more to 148 00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:31.559 the story than the story brought to me. Well, and again, I 149 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:35.519 think my biggest takeaway is you have Eddie Izzard and Searan Hines and neither one 150 00:11:35.559 --> 00:11:39.480 of them get any time to do anything. You could have let them sit 151 00:11:39.519 --> 00:11:41.080 in a room for an hour together and just go back and forth, and 152 00:11:41.159 --> 00:11:45.600 it would have been entertaining. Why did you only give us like eleven minutes 153 00:11:45.639 --> 00:11:48.759 of us? That was what Jeane Siskel's old thing after a movie, like 154 00:11:48.799 --> 00:11:52.480 if you liked the performances but didn't like the movie itself and was sort of 155 00:11:52.480 --> 00:11:56.080 wrestling with whether or not he would recommend the movie based on the performances, 156 00:11:56.559 --> 00:12:01.759 he would ask, when I have enjoyed a movie more or of those actors 157 00:12:01.759 --> 00:12:05.200 eating breakfast and talking, And that's the case here, Like, yeah, 158 00:12:05.200 --> 00:12:07.200 of course that would have been great, Like I'm sure you know, those 159 00:12:07.200 --> 00:12:11.639 two guys are interesting enough just to watch, never mind, the stories that 160 00:12:11.639 --> 00:12:15.399 they would have told would have been far more interesting than the sort of wrote 161 00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:20.360 revenge kind of tale. I don't know, it's is this ain't good? 162 00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:22.039 I'm gonna say skip this one. Yeah, I'm with you, I mean, 163 00:12:22.559 --> 00:12:28.200 and it's you know, it's kind of coincidental that Sieren Hines, Steppenwolf 164 00:12:28.320 --> 00:12:33.279 of Justice League fame, is being criminally wasted here too, so he goes 165 00:12:33.320 --> 00:12:39.879 from Game of Thrones to this to Harry Potter. He did play Julius Caesar 166 00:12:41.000 --> 00:12:45.279 on one season of Rome, the HBO television series, and he's very good 167 00:12:45.279 --> 00:12:48.440 in that. I would recommend if you want to see Karen Hines doing his 168 00:12:48.559 --> 00:12:52.039 thing, watch that show. And actually that was a really good He's also 169 00:12:52.120 --> 00:12:54.799 great. He's also great in The Terror. Don't know it. It's a 170 00:12:54.840 --> 00:13:00.679 TV show about Franklin Expedition to the Northwest Passage. Yeah, I know of 171 00:13:00.720 --> 00:13:03.120 it. I have not yet partaken of it. I will check it out. 172 00:13:03.159 --> 00:13:07.799 The first season is about the Franklin Passes. The second season is about 173 00:13:07.399 --> 00:13:11.799 Japanese internment. You know, that thing that totally didn't happen because nobody talks 174 00:13:11.799 --> 00:13:15.039 about it anymore, except for George Decay. He's on the front lines with 175 00:13:15.159 --> 00:13:18.679 that. Good for him. Well yeah, George Decay is actually in the 176 00:13:18.679 --> 00:13:24.159 show about it so spectacular. Yeah, so check that out. Don't watch 177 00:13:24.159 --> 00:13:28.320 this episode. Father Malone said it best. Skip it. And now, 178 00:13:28.919 --> 00:13:33.159 ladies and gentlemen, we transition to the second to last episode of Tales from 179 00:13:33.159 --> 00:13:39.879 the Crypt. Here Today, Gone Tomorrow. Look, lady, I'm sorry 180 00:13:39.919 --> 00:13:45.200 if the product made your skin fall off, but we never do exchanges on 181 00:13:45.399 --> 00:13:54.440 sale merchandise. Next some people maybe at dooming Dale's. The Ghostomo is always 182 00:13:54.480 --> 00:14:05.519 fright, but not here. I interruested into my Blood Special. It concerns 183 00:14:05.559 --> 00:14:11.600 a couple of crooks who are about to learn the benefits of dying wholesale. 184 00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:20.279 I call this bit of Gash and Carrie Ere Today Gone Tomorrow. So Here 185 00:14:20.320 --> 00:14:22.480 Today, Gone Tomorrow. Is directed by Christopher Hart. It's written by Stephen 186 00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:28.519 Dodd and Ed Tapia. It is based off of Haunt of Fear eleven and 187 00:14:28.600 --> 00:14:33.919 it stars Robert Lindsay as a as a safe cracker who gets in with some 188 00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:41.600 bad folks. And this is, without a doubt, one of the dumbest 189 00:14:41.639 --> 00:14:45.799 things I've ever seen. It's real bad um. Yeah, So he's a 190 00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:48.679 safe cracker, shocking in its lack of logic, safe cracker who's losing his 191 00:14:48.799 --> 00:14:56.200 hearing. It gets um taken in by a millionaire's wife who wants this guy 192 00:14:56.200 --> 00:14:58.480 to cracker safe but of course he has this embeddiment and that he's losing his 193 00:14:58.559 --> 00:15:03.480 hearing. But she knows a guy. She also wants him to crack her 194 00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:05.960 safe. Yeah, but she's only using sex to sort of sway him, 195 00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:09.799 which which I actually appreciated that the characters. I thought that was the euphemism 196 00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:11.919 we were going. Yeah, of course I was. No, no, 197 00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:16.480 no, I'm continuing it. Uh, that's one aspect I like that. 198 00:15:16.519 --> 00:15:20.879 The guy wasn't really falling for that, like that I like. But anyway, 199 00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:26.759 so he undergoes a medical experimentation where they replace his ear drums, her 200 00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:28.759 ears in general, with that of an owl. So now he can hear 201 00:15:28.799 --> 00:15:31.960 it well, but he doesn't know He doesn't know that it's an owl yet, 202 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:37.039 right Yeah. Yeah, that's that's that's the big conceit, right Yeah, 203 00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:39.720 So so you know, I don't know, it's just stupid. It's 204 00:15:39.720 --> 00:15:43.159 all double crosses. It's the same thing we've seen a million times on tails 205 00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:48.519 from the Crypt. But yes, it was an owl that they used for 206 00:15:48.720 --> 00:15:52.519 to replace his ears, and now he turns into one for some reason. 207 00:15:52.759 --> 00:15:56.320 Well, no, no, he doesn't turn into one. He turns halfway 208 00:15:56.360 --> 00:16:02.120 into one, because if he turned into one, then I would have less 209 00:16:02.200 --> 00:16:07.000 questions than I have now, which is what where was her tail and her 210 00:16:07.039 --> 00:16:11.559 fur? Yeah? Yeah, exactly. The girl had undergone experimentation as well, 211 00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:15.320 like have replaced her eyes, I guess, And so now she has 212 00:16:15.360 --> 00:16:17.639 some of the attributes. But oh god, you're you're missing, You're missing 213 00:16:17.639 --> 00:16:21.480 the important part. They don't replace them in the people who are getting them. 214 00:16:21.759 --> 00:16:25.799 They give them to someone else so that they're like a Petri dish for 215 00:16:25.879 --> 00:16:29.600 it, and then they kill that person and take the organ from them to 216 00:16:29.679 --> 00:16:36.320 put into the person. Because science is slow, says the other actor in 217 00:16:36.360 --> 00:16:41.320 this, David Gant. It's very overly complicated for what is a nothing of 218 00:16:41.320 --> 00:16:45.279 a payoff where we get some poor prosthetic work from the team over there in 219 00:16:45.320 --> 00:16:49.639 England. I got to say across the board this season, whoever's doing the 220 00:16:49.799 --> 00:16:55.360 physical effects the special effects makeup for this season of Tels of the Crypt like 221 00:16:55.600 --> 00:17:00.679 did not do a good job. And anyway that continues understatement of the year. 222 00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:04.839 Yeah, I mean you would if you went to a home haunt around 223 00:17:04.920 --> 00:17:07.680 Halloween time, You're going to see better makeup than we got out of this 224 00:17:07.720 --> 00:17:15.640 season of Tales from the Crypt, including this transformation at the end which guy 225 00:17:15.640 --> 00:17:19.279 gets a beak. I guess can't talk anymore. No, no, he 226 00:17:19.400 --> 00:17:22.799 gets a beak. There's no guessing here. It just looks like shit. 227 00:17:23.039 --> 00:17:26.720 It's it's really bad. Now. Now you mentioned that this is based on 228 00:17:26.799 --> 00:17:30.039 Haunt of Fear number eleven. I had not seen this episode, and I 229 00:17:30.160 --> 00:17:34.119 had I was not familiar with the comic book derivation of it, so I 230 00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:37.480 went and got Haunt of Fear number eleven. That story was written by Al 231 00:17:37.559 --> 00:17:44.119 Feldstein alone and drawn by Jack Davis. Here's the thing that story Here Today, 232 00:17:44.119 --> 00:17:51.799 Gone Tomorrow is about two guys running a fertilize fertilizer factory or production plant 233 00:17:52.240 --> 00:17:56.720 that is next door to a cemetery. They receive an order that they cannot 234 00:17:56.799 --> 00:18:02.200 possibly fill, but it will make them rich beyond their wildest dreams, so 235 00:18:02.519 --> 00:18:06.799 they tunnel through the basement of their factory into the graveyard, taking all of 236 00:18:06.839 --> 00:18:12.599 the corpses in order to turn them into fertilizer. Later in the story, 237 00:18:14.039 --> 00:18:17.160 these guys are on a trip, some business trip, and they're in the 238 00:18:17.160 --> 00:18:21.720 middle of corn fields when their car breaks down. They see a farmer's house, 239 00:18:22.559 --> 00:18:25.599 get out of the car to go call someone, and as they're walking 240 00:18:25.640 --> 00:18:30.200 through the field, the ears of corn come to life and pummel them to 241 00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:34.079 death because that field was fertilized with the corpses that they had delivered to the 242 00:18:34.119 --> 00:18:38.960 fertilizer company. Now, I thought that is the most freely adapted episode of 243 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:42.759 Dales from Crypt of all time. But I mean the fact that they went 244 00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:47.720 from killer corn to a guy with a beak that is a jump right now, 245 00:18:47.880 --> 00:18:51.400 One would think so, except when I dug a little deeper, I 246 00:18:51.480 --> 00:18:55.680 discovered that this is not based on Ear Today, Gone Tomorrow, even though 247 00:18:55.680 --> 00:19:00.200 they use the title, it's actually from a genuine Tales from the Crypt much 248 00:19:00.200 --> 00:19:03.319 book number twenty four. The original story is Wow. The original story is 249 00:19:03.359 --> 00:19:10.240 called bats in my Belfry where There's no safe cracking, which, by the 250 00:19:10.240 --> 00:19:15.079 way, sounds like the most hilarious like student like a euphemism. I got 251 00:19:15.079 --> 00:19:18.920 some bats in my belfor if you want to come get up That concerned a 252 00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:23.359 guy who was losing his sight. Was it his sight? No, it 253 00:19:23.400 --> 00:19:27.039 was it was his hearing. Okay, sorry, yeah, because they replace 254 00:19:27.079 --> 00:19:30.440 it with a bat in that room, Yeah yeah. In that version, 255 00:19:30.519 --> 00:19:34.519 he's an actor, is a stage actor, and he's about to sort of 256 00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:37.599 get a big role which will catapult him to fame. And he's had this 257 00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:41.279 wife who's lived with him the entire time he was struggling as an actor, 258 00:19:41.880 --> 00:19:45.839 and now here it comes and he knows, like, I could probably fake 259 00:19:45.880 --> 00:19:48.839 it, but I'm going to miss my cues. I have to do something. 260 00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:53.039 Talks to a guy he knew who was you know. Basically the story 261 00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:56.880 plays out as it is a friend of his who sympathetic says, listen, 262 00:19:56.920 --> 00:20:00.079 I do know this guy. He's doing this experiment where he's replacing organs with 263 00:20:00.119 --> 00:20:03.880 working organs. It might work for you. It's not an owl. They've 264 00:20:03.920 --> 00:20:08.160 replaced his things with a bat, which he knows full well from from jump 265 00:20:08.279 --> 00:20:11.920 like, he knows he's getting a bat's hearing. As it turns out, 266 00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:15.799 see, it's if the story is so tales from the CRYPTI, it's out 267 00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:18.720 of hand. The wife has a lover and they're going to bump this guy 268 00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:22.559 off. Wouldn't be Tales of the crypt without that. Yeah, right, 269 00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:27.119 So he can hear them having a conversation because he has vampire or bat hearing 270 00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:32.160 now, And when the guy comes after him, they they're in an alleyway 271 00:20:32.160 --> 00:20:33.759 and the guy's going to kill him, but it turns out that it was 272 00:20:33.799 --> 00:20:41.359 a vampire bat that they used to replace the thing, so he has become 273 00:20:41.400 --> 00:20:48.039 a vampire and he kills the guy, goes back, kills the wife, 274 00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:52.519 takes their bodies, feeds them to his friend who had an eye transplant with 275 00:20:52.519 --> 00:20:57.200 the cat and is now ferrell and needs to eat flesh. So there you 276 00:20:57.279 --> 00:21:03.160 go. It ends up being kind of freely adapted either way. But Jesus 277 00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:07.160 christ Man, I wanted them to have made that Haunt of Fear story with 278 00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:11.319 the ears of corn smacking these guys to death. That could that could have 279 00:21:11.319 --> 00:21:15.440 been at least hilarious. That sounded like the episode I wish we had got. 280 00:21:15.480 --> 00:21:18.079 That's what I mean, because that sounds it sounds just stupid enough to 281 00:21:18.119 --> 00:21:21.920 work. I read I read that comic and I was like, are you 282 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:23.759 kidding? Why didn't we have this? And then I saw what they had 283 00:21:23.799 --> 00:21:26.000 actually drawn from the I'm like, oh, okay, they just pulled the 284 00:21:26.000 --> 00:21:32.880 title. That's that's a drag. So well, yeah, because you couldn't 285 00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:37.279 call it bats in the Belfry without it having bats in it. Yeah, 286 00:21:37.319 --> 00:21:41.799 because making the character a bat would have made no sense. Oh wait, 287 00:21:41.839 --> 00:21:45.920 it wouldn't have mattered. So why did you change it? In? Like 288 00:21:45.079 --> 00:21:48.880 that's what I've never understood, Like, I don't understand the logic here, 289 00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:53.920 like why did you change the Why did you steal a name and then rip 290 00:21:53.920 --> 00:21:59.599 off an episode or adapt an episode? But in adapting the episode, whose 291 00:21:59.640 --> 00:22:03.759 title would have made sense? Should you or would you or could you have 292 00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:07.880 kept the animal that they used to turn him into as a bat? You 293 00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:11.960 wouldn't have had to change it at all, and turning him into a bat 294 00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:15.640 wouldn't have mattered. Yeah, well, I think that the thinking must have 295 00:22:15.680 --> 00:22:18.799 been, Wait, he turns into a vampire because he has a vampire bat. 296 00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:26.799 Think that's just silly, let's have him. That's what it so unbelievable. 297 00:22:27.240 --> 00:22:30.839 Who the most unbelievable of things is this guy turning into a vampire? 298 00:22:30.920 --> 00:22:34.200 Who not him turning into a goddamn owl? That's you know, that just 299 00:22:34.279 --> 00:22:41.759 happens, you know. So they made the right call here in avoiding the 300 00:22:41.319 --> 00:22:45.319 utter ridiculousness of a man turning into a bat or a vampire by the end 301 00:22:45.359 --> 00:22:49.440 of the episode, and god forbid we ever get a decent vampire story here 302 00:22:49.519 --> 00:22:53.559 on Tales from the Crypt, Donald Longtooth has entered the chat. Yeah, 303 00:22:53.720 --> 00:22:57.400 sure, has put him in the waiting room. We don't want him part 304 00:22:57.400 --> 00:23:00.960 of the call yet, Donald long to They also wrote a couple episodes of 305 00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:04.240 the show. I don't know if you know that I'm aware of his his 306 00:23:04.720 --> 00:23:08.960 prolific work in the early seasons of this show. It's a you know, 307 00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:14.440 season season seven has been bad. Yeah, that's I mean, speaking of 308 00:23:14.480 --> 00:23:18.000 euphemisms, Yeah, it's a it's it's a it's a pit, it's it's 309 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:22.960 it's never and it's a train wreck. Yeah, like quicksand you just can't 310 00:23:23.039 --> 00:23:27.440 get leverage to get up on top if if. What it feels like is 311 00:23:27.519 --> 00:23:33.880 all of the the positive movement and positive progression that we've made with this show, 312 00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:37.880 and all of the good that the show has done, because a lot 313 00:23:37.960 --> 00:23:41.759 of this show is really good, has been completely wasted in this seventh season. 314 00:23:41.799 --> 00:23:45.559 The seventh season feels like it is doing its damnedest to try to ruin 315 00:23:45.640 --> 00:23:48.599 the entire show. For us, it does seem that way. I mean, 316 00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:52.000 and I know we've said this before, like if it was their intention 317 00:23:52.359 --> 00:23:56.519 to do a Viking funeral, then they they did it in the laziest way 318 00:23:56.559 --> 00:24:00.680 possible. If they if the idea it was you got one more season, 319 00:24:00.799 --> 00:24:03.400 and this is definitely it, even though you thought, you know, and 320 00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:07.799 you had thought you had already been sandbagged. And then they're like no, 321 00:24:07.720 --> 00:24:11.279 no, no, one more like why wouldn't you turn it up all the 322 00:24:11.319 --> 00:24:17.599 way, make the Gorrioust episodes, the craziest episodes, the sexiest episodes. 323 00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:22.359 It's like it was like a missed opportunity on every level, like like putting 324 00:24:22.359 --> 00:24:26.240 aside, just make competent tailors from the crypt episodes. No, like you 325 00:24:26.279 --> 00:24:32.319 could have gone whole hog, and instead what we've gotten is just like it's 326 00:24:32.359 --> 00:24:37.720 not vegan sausage. Yeah, it's it's so it's such a shadow of its 327 00:24:37.720 --> 00:24:44.880 former self, and that anyone who was in charge was fine with that is 328 00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:48.839 really dismaying. And he and here is the thing. We went into this 329 00:24:48.880 --> 00:24:52.079 season knowing that the season was going to be bad, because I we've heard 330 00:24:52.160 --> 00:24:59.119 nothing but that from folks who love the show, and look We've gotten reviews 331 00:24:59.119 --> 00:25:03.400 on iTunes about people who think that we don't like the show, And why 332 00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:07.880 would you talk about this show if you don't like it. If you can't 333 00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:11.960 be like, you know, objective about the ship that you watch, that's 334 00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:15.519 not our fault. Yeah, and I that's your fault. I would I 335 00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:19.599 would suggest you can just because you like something doesn't mean you can follow it 336 00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:25.119 blindly off of the cliff. Yeah. And I would suggest that these people 337 00:25:25.160 --> 00:25:29.079 go back and actually watch the show as we did. It was eye opening. 338 00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:33.319 I'm yeah, no, no, we're we're wrong because we don't like 339 00:25:33.480 --> 00:25:38.240 the show, even though we've spent the last four fucking years watching the show. 340 00:25:38.880 --> 00:25:42.000 Yeah, these people who are just sort of you know all they do 341 00:25:42.160 --> 00:25:45.359 what it seems to me, most of these people, just as we did, 342 00:25:45.480 --> 00:25:51.119 remember the best episodes and remember how much the crypt Keeper made them laugh 343 00:25:51.359 --> 00:25:53.880 or interested them in horror, or you know that it was a gateway for 344 00:25:53.920 --> 00:25:59.799 them for horror, and like that's all valid and honestly and frankly, we 345 00:26:00.119 --> 00:26:03.960 are in the same boat in many respects and we were four years ago, 346 00:26:04.839 --> 00:26:10.440 right, And but at the same time, I don't think critically thinking like 347 00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:12.960 I never said to anyone it was a perfect series. Like I couldn't. 348 00:26:14.039 --> 00:26:17.640 I couldn't rail at somebody for telling me that they didn't like the show. 349 00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:21.400 I would say, well, you should watch these episodes because those are great. 350 00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:29.680 Speaking to your comment about people following it blindly, why not go back 351 00:26:29.680 --> 00:26:32.279 and watch it? Like, Ultimately, what I'm trying to say is, 352 00:26:33.680 --> 00:26:37.039 even as bad as the past two seasons that I've been, and they've been 353 00:26:37.079 --> 00:26:41.519 really, really bad, it has not lessened my love for the show one 354 00:26:41.559 --> 00:26:45.480 iota. The things that I remember, not initially from watching it, I'm 355 00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:48.480 still gonna remember, and there are a few gems there that I was not 356 00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:53.119 even privy too before rewatching it. So I'd say, definitely, everyone go 357 00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:59.160 back and watch as many episodes as you want, because it will startle you 358 00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:04.680 the ratio of good to bad. But I will say I'm not in too 359 00:27:04.759 --> 00:27:10.759 much surprise at how many bad ones there are. Well, given what kind 360 00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:15.960 of show this is, Uh well, I mean you're speaking about anthology, 361 00:27:15.079 --> 00:27:18.519 right, I mean even even the best anthology shows are going to have some 362 00:27:18.559 --> 00:27:22.240 clunkers, no question about it. But yeah, Twilight Zone, the original 363 00:27:22.279 --> 00:27:26.279 run of the Twilight Zone. Absolutely not every not every episode of that is 364 00:27:26.319 --> 00:27:30.240 good. Yeah, people remember you know Nightmare and twenty thousand Feet certainly great 365 00:27:30.279 --> 00:27:34.279 episode or you know, any episode that touched you or scared you. Those 366 00:27:34.440 --> 00:27:40.680 are still touching and scary. But there was a lot that never sort of 367 00:27:40.759 --> 00:27:42.599 saw the light of day after a while, certainly not when they start putting 368 00:27:42.599 --> 00:27:48.119 like best of you know, playlists of shows and movies and whatever. You 369 00:27:48.160 --> 00:27:51.839 know, you you you're only going to give the best, and so your 370 00:27:51.960 --> 00:27:56.000 opinion is going to stay that that was the best or anthology series of all 371 00:27:56.000 --> 00:27:57.480 the time. I will say this about too and their crypton. I know 372 00:27:57.519 --> 00:28:02.599 I've said this before, but as far as you know, the track record 373 00:28:02.759 --> 00:28:06.319 of anthology shows has always hit or miss because it's always based on the writing 374 00:28:06.799 --> 00:28:10.839 and who knows what's being brought to the table while you're in the gears of 375 00:28:10.880 --> 00:28:15.160 making a television show happen. But in this case, you know how many 376 00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:18.759 years they have to have been on year six making the show by now? 377 00:28:18.839 --> 00:28:22.359 Right? This is I came out in ninety seven, and they had to 378 00:28:22.359 --> 00:28:25.880 have filmed it in ninety six. They've been doing it since eighty nine, 379 00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:30.400 I would assume, I would assume. Yeah, So there's the wealth of 380 00:28:30.519 --> 00:28:37.160 material in all of the ec comics. It's inexcusable. Like I know, 381 00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:38.319 they tried, you know, we've talked about it before. They tried to 382 00:28:38.359 --> 00:28:44.079 make a spinoff show, the Two Fisted Tails, and that didn't pan out. 383 00:28:44.440 --> 00:28:47.960 Nevertheless, I guarantee you if you're read through all of Two Fisted Tails, 384 00:28:47.960 --> 00:28:52.240 you're going to get a few supernatural and or sort of bitterly ironic stories 385 00:28:52.240 --> 00:28:56.480 that could have been transposed here, which they did a couple of times, 386 00:28:56.519 --> 00:29:00.599 but not really. And you know, the majority of the s is based 387 00:29:00.599 --> 00:29:03.480 on Haunt of Fear and Vault of Horror. Anyway, Like you can't tell 388 00:29:03.519 --> 00:29:07.920 me every issue of Tales from the Crypt or Haunt of Fear. You've got 389 00:29:07.920 --> 00:29:12.759 five stories in it, multiplied by how many issues, multiplied by how many 390 00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:18.680 titles. The fact that they're only doing twelve thirteen episodes a season and they 391 00:29:18.720 --> 00:29:23.440 didn't find a gem or something that could be polished into one is part and 392 00:29:23.480 --> 00:29:26.279 parcel. With the last two seasons of the show, people just didn't care 393 00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:33.559 anymore and weren't giving their best effort. So anyway, long long way to 394 00:29:33.599 --> 00:29:37.559 say that I still love the show, but if you're defending this season, 395 00:29:37.720 --> 00:29:40.599 I don't know that I can continue to talk to you as a rational human 396 00:29:40.599 --> 00:29:45.920 being. It's really bad. Well, and let's not kid ourselves. And 397 00:29:45.960 --> 00:29:48.599 this is something that we haven't really brought up, and I know we had 398 00:29:48.599 --> 00:29:52.240 talked about maybe we would talk about it. I still think maybe we do 399 00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:56.319 have one bonus one or two bonus episodes in us. And I think I 400 00:29:56.559 --> 00:30:00.599 think you know and I know the things we could cover. But you brought 401 00:30:00.640 --> 00:30:03.759 this up because you brought up two fisted tails. So I want to bring 402 00:30:03.799 --> 00:30:07.119 this up for the audience in case the audience doesn't know. There wasn't just 403 00:30:07.559 --> 00:30:12.359 one other show that they were trying to launch from Tales from ther There were 404 00:30:12.359 --> 00:30:18.519 two. There were two. There was another show that was running a year 405 00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:22.680 later and they ran in for one season. It ran it into the ground, 406 00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:29.160 and it was on HBO and it was produced by the same group five 407 00:30:29.319 --> 00:30:33.839 people. And that show was Perversions of Science. We watched one episode of 408 00:30:33.880 --> 00:30:37.200 it together when I went when my wife and I came to visit you what 409 00:30:37.400 --> 00:30:41.799 two years ago now, we watched an episode together, the four of us, 410 00:30:42.359 --> 00:30:52.400 and it was offensive and shocking and really dumb. But again it goes 411 00:30:52.480 --> 00:30:55.519 to this idea that like they had Tales from the Crypt, and they didn't 412 00:30:55.559 --> 00:30:59.720 use any Tales from the Crypt stuff. Yeah, and then they just go 413 00:30:59.759 --> 00:31:03.039 in there like, oh now we have access to easy comics, is weird 414 00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:08.079 science, weird fantasy, an incredible sci fi? Like okay? And you 415 00:31:08.119 --> 00:31:11.359 know what, that only reinforces what I said, because they had those books, 416 00:31:11.640 --> 00:31:15.440 which they didn't adapt any of those for Tales from the Crypt. There 417 00:31:15.440 --> 00:31:22.920 are plenty of horrifying stories in those three titles. And just I don't think 418 00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:26.240 that they were like holding off and waiting to do this separate series. I 419 00:31:26.279 --> 00:31:27.519 think that it was just an afterthought, like, well, let's keep the 420 00:31:27.559 --> 00:31:34.799 money train going. And I did watch the entirety of Perversions of Science after 421 00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:38.359 we watched the one episode, and there are some good ones, but then 422 00:31:38.400 --> 00:31:41.400 there's a lot oh good, yeah, but there's a lot of you know, 423 00:31:42.759 --> 00:31:48.160 good enough episodes, which well there's only ten episodes, right, I 424 00:31:48.200 --> 00:31:55.279 mean, yeah, It's it's sad to me because we I hope we talk 425 00:31:55.279 --> 00:31:56.880 about it. I think we should talk about one or two Perversions of Science 426 00:31:56.920 --> 00:32:00.519 episodes, the good ones, yeah, the good ones, not the ones 427 00:32:00.559 --> 00:32:08.440 with sex change. Paul Williams, Yancy Butler's something about a fuck I don't 428 00:32:08.440 --> 00:32:12.039 know. I think we're not. The way you just described it is going 429 00:32:12.119 --> 00:32:15.079 to make people think it's good, it's not. It's not. It's not. 430 00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:20.240 It sounds good, but it's not. It's It's sad to me because, 431 00:32:20.240 --> 00:32:22.519 like you said, you look at the sources for those episodes, and 432 00:32:22.039 --> 00:32:27.759 those kinds of stories felt like they should have been adapted before you adapted Two 433 00:32:27.759 --> 00:32:32.160 Fisted Tales. Totally, there's enough horror in weird science and weird fantasy or 434 00:32:32.240 --> 00:32:38.519 horror like Two Fisted Tails. Stuff is not horror adjacent. It's like horror 435 00:32:39.039 --> 00:32:45.359 double adjacent, like Two Fisted Tales is not adjacent. Sci fi is closer 436 00:32:45.400 --> 00:32:51.759 to horror than action is absolutely or Cowboys story. Yeah. The funny thing 437 00:32:51.799 --> 00:32:54.160 about that is they, you know, they made Two Fisted Tales like like 438 00:32:54.200 --> 00:32:59.000 they had made the pilot for Tales from the Crypt with three separate tales by 439 00:32:59.039 --> 00:33:01.920 sort of bigger named directors, and in that case, one of the stories 440 00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:07.680 is adapted from nothing, like they didn't even trust their source material in their 441 00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:15.400 pilot. It's really sad that Tales from the Crypt ends up looking like the 442 00:33:15.440 --> 00:33:22.359 poster child for what's wrong with the industry now, truly, right, Like 443 00:33:22.440 --> 00:33:28.359 Oh, we have this cool source material that actually is really good. Let's 444 00:33:28.359 --> 00:33:31.839 just ignore it completely and just use the title that's yeah, that's that that's 445 00:33:31.880 --> 00:33:37.200 going on, thanks twice and Benny Off Yeah, or you know, um 446 00:33:37.400 --> 00:33:44.680 like our recent DC fair Like or dexter a fundamental misunderstanding of the of the 447 00:33:44.720 --> 00:33:47.799 property to begin with, but knowing that people love it, so let's go 448 00:33:47.839 --> 00:33:52.519 ahead and adapt it. But you know, you know what, and I 449 00:33:52.559 --> 00:33:54.920 don't think you got to give the fans what they want. I'm not I'm 450 00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:59.960 not that guy. Like you know, you can adapt something in the spirit 451 00:34:00.279 --> 00:34:06.319 of the material and do a creditable job of emulating what people loved about it 452 00:34:06.359 --> 00:34:09.159 in the first place, but you have to have had that love of the 453 00:34:09.199 --> 00:34:15.960 show or whatever property we're talking about to begin with. Just sort of you 454 00:34:15.039 --> 00:34:23.119 know, merchandizing it effectively is never going to result in something good. And 455 00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:28.480 it does feel that way with the ec comics, maybe more with the other 456 00:34:28.519 --> 00:34:32.760 titles. I'm sure those five guys the executive producers had read Tales from the 457 00:34:32.760 --> 00:34:37.639 Crypt Revolt of Horror and remember like loving it and the feeling it made in 458 00:34:37.679 --> 00:34:45.239 them when they were kids. Without sort of going full bore into all of 459 00:34:45.280 --> 00:34:51.000 the issues. So like Tales from the Crypt, at least early on felt 460 00:34:51.039 --> 00:34:55.159 like the love of the material was there, whereas both two fisted tails and 461 00:34:55.719 --> 00:34:59.159 perversions of science, it was just like, well, what can we do 462 00:34:59.199 --> 00:35:02.599 with this, which is never a reason to do anything. And look, 463 00:35:02.639 --> 00:35:07.119 I will I don't think I will ever say or I don't think I will 464 00:35:07.119 --> 00:35:09.800 ever have a nice word to say about David Geiler. So you could take 465 00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:15.119 four of those people out, yea, I'm sorry, Yeah, I mean, 466 00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:17.719 you know, look, I think Walter Hill is one of the best 467 00:35:17.719 --> 00:35:22.360 action filmmakers of all time, but like as a producer, but you will 468 00:35:22.400 --> 00:35:25.639 remind me saying anything positive about Guyler. Well you know, look, Hill's 469 00:35:25.679 --> 00:35:29.760 right there with him. I mean, look, they the pair of them, 470 00:35:29.800 --> 00:35:34.800 attempted to remove Dan O'Bannon's name from the Alien script, replacing it with 471 00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:37.840 their own. That is literally the reason why I don't like either of them. 472 00:35:37.960 --> 00:35:40.800 Yeah, and it is the same reason that I know you have an 473 00:35:40.840 --> 00:35:45.920 issue with that totally. That's and like, and he's a writer. That 474 00:35:45.800 --> 00:35:51.400 cuts to the core of our friendship here, I'm not kidding, Like you're 475 00:35:51.440 --> 00:35:54.000 the only person. Well yeah, but like we're both very much in the 476 00:35:54.079 --> 00:35:59.920 same vein of Obannon in a lot of ways, like abrasive, don't shut 477 00:35:59.920 --> 00:36:02.079 the fuck up, don't know when to shut the fuck up in some respect. 478 00:36:02.199 --> 00:36:05.960 Yeah, and look at what happened to Dan O'Bannon. I mean, 479 00:36:06.239 --> 00:36:09.360 you know, I mean it's not like Guyler was like your shit's shit, 480 00:36:09.599 --> 00:36:13.239 it's shit, We're going to rewrite it, fuck you. It's not like 481 00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:17.880 he was destitute or anything. But there was the potential there for like actual 482 00:36:17.880 --> 00:36:22.880 cinematic greatness, which I think he delivered on a number of occasions from without 483 00:36:22.920 --> 00:36:28.599 the director's share and one time in it because Return of the Living Dead is 484 00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:32.440 probably the best zombie movie ever made. But oh it is, yeah, 485 00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:36.760 and it is so and that's and that's coming from you, the person who 486 00:36:36.800 --> 00:36:38.519 likes Day of the deads or Dawn of the Dead someone yahdahna dead is like 487 00:36:38.559 --> 00:36:40.840 my favorite movie of all time. But I can recognize that Return of the 488 00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:45.719 Living Dead it's a whole other animal. It's it's scary in ways that Romero 489 00:36:45.840 --> 00:36:51.159 hadn't not considered but chose not to portray. He was more interested in a 490 00:36:51.280 --> 00:36:55.880 particular viewpoint, and um, you know, O'Bannon was working actively in the 491 00:36:55.960 --> 00:37:00.239 opposite direction of everything Romero had done. And why was he doing that because 492 00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:04.840 he was a writer and respected what Romero had done, and was, if 493 00:37:04.880 --> 00:37:08.800 anything, paying tribute to the man, which any writer ought to do, 494 00:37:10.400 --> 00:37:15.199 including Walter Hill and David Geyler, and taking someone's name change it. And 495 00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:19.840 they did it in the sloppiest way possible, where they just changed the character's 496 00:37:19.960 --> 00:37:22.719 names and maybe wrote one more scene and then you know, submitted it for 497 00:37:22.840 --> 00:37:28.199 arbitration, like get the fuck out of here. Well, and here's the 498 00:37:28.239 --> 00:37:31.440 funny thing, right, this happens all the time in Hollywood, dear listener. 499 00:37:31.840 --> 00:37:35.760 You might not know it, but Father Malone can attest to it, 500 00:37:36.079 --> 00:37:38.519 and I can attest to it having spoken to people and or no people and 501 00:37:38.760 --> 00:37:43.079 or have been friends with people that have heard about these kinds of things happening. 502 00:37:43.880 --> 00:37:46.039 And nine times out of ten nothing comes of it. Right, Like 503 00:37:46.159 --> 00:37:52.239 the movie doesn't go on to be one of the most influential horror sci fi 504 00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:53.639 films of all time. Right, But in this case, it did, 505 00:37:53.880 --> 00:38:00.480 sure did. Yeah, And that's the problem, one hundred percent is in 506 00:38:00.599 --> 00:38:05.199 this scenario that is the problem. In this scenario, you have cameras in 507 00:38:05.320 --> 00:38:08.239 front of people twenty thirty years later, and these people are going, yeah, 508 00:38:08.320 --> 00:38:12.880 well we rewrote the script, and me and Walter Hill we rewrote it. 509 00:38:12.920 --> 00:38:15.159 It's like, fuck you, fuck both of you. Fuck the hills 510 00:38:15.199 --> 00:38:17.719 you both fucking are standing on right now because you're both full of shit. 511 00:38:19.840 --> 00:38:22.360 Yeah. Look, I mean they brought an element of the Hill doesn't even 512 00:38:22.440 --> 00:38:27.239 show up. Guyler's the one making all those claims in the Alien documentary. 513 00:38:27.480 --> 00:38:32.440 Maybe because Walter Hill knows how wrong he wasn't doing it and Guy, well 514 00:38:32.480 --> 00:38:36.599 that's my assumption. Yeah, which is why I like, which is why 515 00:38:36.639 --> 00:38:39.199 I give Walter Hill a little bit more of a pass of Geyler. But 516 00:38:39.679 --> 00:38:43.440 the I forget what it's called, like the making like, oh, what's 517 00:38:43.440 --> 00:38:47.239 it called the Beast or something. It's on YouTube, you can watch it. 518 00:38:47.320 --> 00:38:52.199 It was from the Alien quadrilogy. It's the making of ALIENA and David 519 00:38:52.280 --> 00:38:57.360 Guyler. It just seems like such a fucking prick. Yeah, just unrepentant 520 00:38:57.519 --> 00:39:00.199 asshole of the highest order. And look, most people, well in the 521 00:39:00.280 --> 00:39:05.000 industry aren't like this. But the people that are are like him. They 522 00:39:05.119 --> 00:39:07.239 want they just want whatever they want. They don't give a shit what it 523 00:39:07.320 --> 00:39:09.840 takes to get it. Yeah, it's funny. I just read an interview 524 00:39:09.960 --> 00:39:13.519 yesterday with Dana Vann and it was sort of late in life, and they 525 00:39:13.519 --> 00:39:15.719 were talking to him about Alien and he was like, you know, I'm 526 00:39:15.840 --> 00:39:21.039 on record as to what happened, and they were asking him about the sequels 527 00:39:21.079 --> 00:39:24.239 and stuff, and he's like, those guys detest me because I showed them 528 00:39:24.280 --> 00:39:29.559 for the liars that they were, So I have zero involvement other than getting 529 00:39:29.599 --> 00:39:34.039 a paycheck from here on out. And it's clear that we can talk about 530 00:39:34.119 --> 00:39:36.960 that many movies because those guys didn't give a shit about the property to begin 531 00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:39.880 with, and they'll just let anyone make anything now as long as they're you 532 00:39:39.920 --> 00:39:44.239 know, as long as the money train keeps on Roland, they don't care 533 00:39:44.280 --> 00:39:46.679 how if the quality dips and gets worse and worse, which it clearly has 534 00:39:46.760 --> 00:39:52.920 with that franchise. Oh and there's part of me that would love to know 535 00:39:53.159 --> 00:39:59.239 what those movies would have looked like had Guyler and Hill not stuck their stupid 536 00:39:59.280 --> 00:40:04.440 little noses and everything true, there were some interesting, interesting concepts out there 537 00:40:04.480 --> 00:40:08.599 that they put they they put the knicks on. Yeah, because look as 538 00:40:08.679 --> 00:40:13.480 much as I like aliens, which I know you like aliens, too. 539 00:40:14.920 --> 00:40:16.679 I mean, I would like to see a universe where we got to see 540 00:40:16.719 --> 00:40:20.760 what Dan O'Bannon got to do with it. Dan O'Bannon and Ron choose it 541 00:40:22.840 --> 00:40:24.840 truly, But you know, at the same time, like O'Bannon seemed pretty 542 00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:30.079 set in them. You know, I think he admired what Cameron did with 543 00:40:30.159 --> 00:40:36.119 Aliens because it took it to a different genre, because O'Bannon recognized that the 544 00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:39.599 story was done as far as you can't go back to another horror movie with 545 00:40:39.719 --> 00:40:45.599 these guys, with this particular alien, because that it's all based on the 546 00:40:45.679 --> 00:40:50.840 sort of surprise and anticipation and any of the scares from the first film can't 547 00:40:50.880 --> 00:40:55.119 really be replicated without you know, the law of diminishing returns. So I 548 00:40:55.199 --> 00:40:59.840 think it was content in cashing his checks there for Alien and that that was 549 00:41:00.159 --> 00:41:04.639 only involved and he wanted with it. But you're right, and ultimately, 550 00:41:05.079 --> 00:41:07.719 you know, push comes to shove. If somebody was going to write an 551 00:41:07.760 --> 00:41:12.000 Alien sequel, I'm curious to know what his ideas were because they probably would 552 00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:16.599 have been pretty wild. And if people don't believe that, don they're done. 553 00:41:16.920 --> 00:41:21.440 Dan O'Bannon and Ron Shoe Set made Magic together after the fact. Just 554 00:41:21.559 --> 00:41:25.880 go watch total recall they wrote the script for that movie. Yeah, O'Bannon 555 00:41:25.960 --> 00:41:30.559 really, but yea yeah, and that movie. Look, I don't know 556 00:41:30.719 --> 00:41:32.679 who. I don't know a person who doesn't like that movie, but I'm 557 00:41:32.719 --> 00:41:37.960 not sure that that person exists because that movie is just so good in every 558 00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:39.719 way? Or should they? Yeah? And that you know what, I'm 559 00:41:39.760 --> 00:41:45.039 just gonna keep singing Obandon's praises because when he adapted that script. You know, 560 00:41:45.079 --> 00:41:47.000 if you read the original story that it's based on, it's the first 561 00:41:47.079 --> 00:41:52.679 act of Oh yeah, that's all there is to it. And so like 562 00:41:52.079 --> 00:41:55.519 Shoots, it came to Abandon and said, can you what can you do 563 00:41:55.599 --> 00:41:58.239 with this? And he's like, well, this is just the first act, 564 00:41:58.280 --> 00:42:00.559 So I'll write I'll write the first act for you and you can take 565 00:42:00.559 --> 00:42:02.119 it to somebody else. But here's what you ought to do. And she 566 00:42:02.519 --> 00:42:06.119 was like, no, that's terrible. Brought it to another writer who wrote 567 00:42:06.119 --> 00:42:08.280 a second act, which was terrible, as O'Bannon predicted. He came back 568 00:42:08.320 --> 00:42:12.079 to Oban and said, okay, do your second act, and then you 569 00:42:12.159 --> 00:42:14.119 know, at the end he was like, you guys are expecting like a 570 00:42:14.239 --> 00:42:15.079 James Bond thing. Here at the end, it needs to be a James 571 00:42:15.159 --> 00:42:16.320 Bond and he was like, no, no, no, no, no, 572 00:42:16.440 --> 00:42:21.079 no, nobody wants him to go to Mars actually, and brought it 573 00:42:21.159 --> 00:42:23.360 to another writer same thing, brought it back to Obannon, who sort of 574 00:42:23.360 --> 00:42:29.000 finished the script, and then they collectively got rewritten a number of times. 575 00:42:29.239 --> 00:42:31.320 If there are dumb things in that movie, it wasn't from O'Bannon. If 576 00:42:31.360 --> 00:42:37.039 you'read his original script, it's it's really tight and not as fantastical as what 577 00:42:37.159 --> 00:42:42.519 we got. And Shoe said O'Bannon wrote Dead and Buried, which is also 578 00:42:42.880 --> 00:42:47.519 another amazing film that doesn't get enough talk. Totally it's you know, look, 579 00:42:47.840 --> 00:42:51.559 it's this whole thing with tales from the Crypt. Like the more I 580 00:42:51.679 --> 00:42:54.440 look at the people involved in the making of the show, the more I 581 00:42:54.599 --> 00:43:00.480 realize who the problem was. Well, yeah, I mean, look, 582 00:43:00.840 --> 00:43:05.599 it's very like, it's very apparent. Let's just put it that way. 583 00:43:05.679 --> 00:43:07.239 Well, the you know they say the fish rots from the head down, 584 00:43:07.440 --> 00:43:13.079 right, Once those guys like, look, I think a couple of them 585 00:43:13.199 --> 00:43:16.400 were like devotees of the show, and I recognized it for what it was. 586 00:43:16.599 --> 00:43:22.280 But I think once those guys checked out, the other co executive producers 587 00:43:22.320 --> 00:43:27.199 who had already checked out, like there was no redeeming it. I mean, 588 00:43:27.679 --> 00:43:31.159 you still had interesting and creative people behind the scenes. I'm not going 589 00:43:31.239 --> 00:43:35.000 to say that, you know, anything after the first or second season wasn't 590 00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:37.559 good, because there's plenty to mine out of seasons three, four, and 591 00:43:37.760 --> 00:43:42.440 five, But once we get to six and seven, it's really patchy and 592 00:43:42.559 --> 00:43:45.760 bad. So anyway, so do you were so before we talk, before 593 00:43:46.039 --> 00:43:50.840 we get to our final episode, which is the next thing you'll hear is 594 00:43:50.880 --> 00:43:54.119 our final episode on talking about the show proper, I want to ask you, 595 00:43:54.280 --> 00:44:00.519 father Malone, where did the show Let's use this colloquialism because nobody uses 596 00:44:00.559 --> 00:44:05.000 it anymore. Where did the show jump the shark? Uh? It can't 597 00:44:05.079 --> 00:44:07.639 jump the shark anymore, it's already jumped in. The question is where was 598 00:44:07.760 --> 00:44:12.760 that moment? Where was the momentum? It's not the it's not the three 599 00:44:12.840 --> 00:44:16.320 Little Pigs episode coming up. I can gartt know you know it, FONSI 600 00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:22.840 was back home by the time we got to the Pigs m jump in the 601 00:44:22.960 --> 00:44:24.559 shark. You know, I don't know that. I can sort of point 602 00:44:24.639 --> 00:44:29.960 to a definitive episode and go it never recovered from this because, as we've 603 00:44:29.960 --> 00:44:32.400 said, it's it is an anthology show, so you're even in the worst 604 00:44:32.440 --> 00:44:38.400 season, you're gonna get maybe something good. But I think once once we 605 00:44:38.480 --> 00:44:45.360 got the season four maybe or maybe once they started making movies, what was 606 00:44:45.400 --> 00:44:51.639 the what was the when did Demon Knight come out? In the chronology of 607 00:44:51.760 --> 00:44:58.960 our tails from the Crypt, So Demon Knight came out in nineteen ninety five. 608 00:44:59.400 --> 00:45:01.599 Ninety five. Wow, that's pretty late. M Yeah. So, 609 00:45:02.320 --> 00:45:07.159 so that was the thing I was under the impression before we started this podcast 610 00:45:07.480 --> 00:45:10.159 that Demon Knight was like while the show was still on. No, Demon 611 00:45:10.239 --> 00:45:16.159 Knight was in between season six and seven. Okay, well, clearly they 612 00:45:16.239 --> 00:45:22.519 knew that was on the horizon. And I'm gonna say anything past season four, 613 00:45:22.400 --> 00:45:27.559 I'll say the start of season five, I'll mark that as the end 614 00:45:27.679 --> 00:45:31.800 is nigh for the show. Do you know what's insane? Though? Demon 615 00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:38.840 Night and Bordello of Blood. So Demon Night comes out the thirteenth of January 616 00:45:38.920 --> 00:45:46.639 in nineteen ninety five, so season five of the show had already aired. 617 00:45:46.639 --> 00:45:52.239 Okay, Season six of the show is about to finish, So not between 618 00:45:52.320 --> 00:45:55.920 six and seven as much as is just right at the end of season six, 619 00:45:58.119 --> 00:46:02.159 so maybe, and then Blood comes out after well, Bordello of Blood 620 00:46:02.760 --> 00:46:09.280 comes out in ninety six, in August of ninety six. Okay, so 621 00:46:10.760 --> 00:46:15.039 the show is over when Bordello of Blood comes out. It's weird thinking about 622 00:46:15.079 --> 00:46:21.039 it now. Demon Knight and Bordello of Blood feel like they belong around the 623 00:46:21.280 --> 00:46:24.760 third season of this shoe. They do, because as much as I can't 624 00:46:24.880 --> 00:46:29.960 really recommend I can't really recommend Bordello of Blood at all, but there's a 625 00:46:30.079 --> 00:46:32.480 lot in Demon Knight, though you could recommend it over shit that we've seen 626 00:46:32.519 --> 00:46:36.039 in season seven. Oh yeah, so certainly. Yeah. No, That's 627 00:46:36.079 --> 00:46:39.079 the thing. That's the lesson we've learned doing this podcast is like, once, 628 00:46:39.280 --> 00:46:44.039 if you're doing two episodes together and one of them is good, it 629 00:46:44.239 --> 00:46:49.000 becomes magnified how good it is based on the dreariness of the other one. 630 00:46:49.360 --> 00:46:52.880 And if you put those two movies against anything season six and season seven, 631 00:46:52.920 --> 00:46:55.519 I'm going to watch the movie again, like, you know, rather than 632 00:46:55.880 --> 00:47:00.679 waste time watching what are effectively mediocre episodes that seemed better because of what's around 633 00:47:00.760 --> 00:47:06.360 them, Like I'd rather watch a ninety minute movie where you know it may 634 00:47:06.440 --> 00:47:08.599 not be the best movie out there, but they seem to be trying, 635 00:47:10.639 --> 00:47:15.920 and it felt more tonally consistent with the show as I knew it in seasons 636 00:47:15.960 --> 00:47:21.480 one through four. Absolutely, yeah, it's it's very weird. The movies 637 00:47:21.519 --> 00:47:24.559 now looking back, feel like a holdover. I think I would say the 638 00:47:24.719 --> 00:47:29.159 movies were the time the show started going down the tubes, but they happened 639 00:47:29.199 --> 00:47:30.760 so late that it's it is. I would agree with you. I think 640 00:47:30.800 --> 00:47:39.360 it's around like halfway through season four. Yeah, probably probably for me. 641 00:47:39.599 --> 00:47:45.719 The show kind of starts trending downward after What's Cooking, you know what. 642 00:47:45.880 --> 00:47:50.960 That's that's a pretty good touchdowne for it. Like that What's Cooking is the 643 00:47:51.000 --> 00:47:55.639 Christopher Reeve episode, right that was like the last truly amazing episode of this 644 00:47:55.760 --> 00:48:00.760 show. I agree, like one where I was wrapped watching it. Yeah, 645 00:48:01.280 --> 00:48:05.760 and it's one that's like consistently looked at as one of the best episodes 646 00:48:05.800 --> 00:48:08.880 of this show, rightfully, So that, yeah, it's really good. 647 00:48:08.960 --> 00:48:13.079 That's it. That's the Tales from the Crypt episode. Everything else is feels 648 00:48:13.159 --> 00:48:15.480 like an imitation of Tales from the Crypt. You know, We've said this 649 00:48:15.519 --> 00:48:20.679 a bunch of times, but like you know, we also do a show 650 00:48:20.679 --> 00:48:23.199 about the Twilight Zone reboot from eighty five, and it counts there too. 651 00:48:23.559 --> 00:48:25.960 Sometimes you're watching it, you're like, what does this have to do with 652 00:48:27.039 --> 00:48:30.800 Tales from the Crypt like at all? Like this is why are we watching 653 00:48:30.880 --> 00:48:34.719 a crime thing? You know, like you're going to throw in a twist 654 00:48:34.760 --> 00:48:37.559 at the end, so then therefore it's worthy of this. No, weed 655 00:48:37.599 --> 00:48:42.519 those stories out, get back into the fucking shit man, Like there's plenty 656 00:48:42.559 --> 00:48:46.079 of good horror out there. Yeah, I've never understood the lack of horror 657 00:48:46.119 --> 00:48:50.239 in this show. I've never understood it. I have never understood it, 658 00:48:50.280 --> 00:48:54.320 and I will never understand it. Because I bet if you go back and 659 00:48:54.519 --> 00:48:58.559 maybe I will in between now and when we do our final kind of wrap 660 00:48:58.679 --> 00:49:01.639 up episodes, I would love to know how many of these episodes have verifiable 661 00:49:01.719 --> 00:49:07.280 supernatural elements in them? Very few, because I bet it's less than half. 662 00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:09.159 I bet it's less than a third probably. But you know what's funny, 663 00:49:09.280 --> 00:49:14.360 like even an episode that had no supernatural elements, And I'm going all 664 00:49:14.440 --> 00:49:19.079 the way back to the beginning here, like whether or not Zamachis pulled off 665 00:49:19.360 --> 00:49:22.920 and all through the house as he certainly didn't, as well as the original 666 00:49:22.679 --> 00:49:29.679 movie. Like, regardless of whether or not it's successful as an episode, 667 00:49:30.199 --> 00:49:35.400 you can tell it is designed to frighten you. Does that make sense? 668 00:49:35.519 --> 00:49:37.800 Like there's a there's an intent behind it. It's I'm going to figure out 669 00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:42.199 a way to scare you at some point in this episode, whereas later episodes 670 00:49:42.280 --> 00:49:46.159 it was like the trappings of horror were enough, and that's you know, 671 00:49:46.320 --> 00:49:49.559 I don't know that. It always bothers me. It's like, yes, 672 00:49:49.639 --> 00:49:52.920 the setup is a scary one, I get that, but you're not really 673 00:49:52.000 --> 00:49:58.639 doing anything in an attempt to freak me out so well, and also, 674 00:49:58.719 --> 00:50:00.639 what I always felt like the show wanted was the show wanted to be kind 675 00:50:00.679 --> 00:50:05.199 of not nasty about it, but it kind of reveled in scaring you. 676 00:50:05.679 --> 00:50:07.960 That was the point of the crypt Keeper, where he's like, isn't that 677 00:50:07.159 --> 00:50:10.239 scary? Like, yeah, he's supposed to be a rope boy, the 678 00:50:10.280 --> 00:50:14.679 crip. He's supposed to be a release sidelined on top of everything else. 679 00:50:14.880 --> 00:50:17.000 Yeah, I mean his jokiness is to like ease you in and out of 680 00:50:17.079 --> 00:50:25.199 what's supposed to be a harrowing experience. Not wasn't that dumb? Wasn't that 681 00:50:25.320 --> 00:50:30.199 guy dumb? Like that's been his episode like wrap ups for season seven, 682 00:50:30.320 --> 00:50:35.800 like this person was an asshole? Weren't they? They sure were? Now 683 00:50:35.960 --> 00:50:42.320 back to my bit, Oh yeah, but I mean I feel bad for 684 00:50:42.480 --> 00:50:45.679 John Cassiir and like Kevin Jaeger, like the puppet looks like shit. John 685 00:50:45.760 --> 00:50:50.360 Cassier is just being given these like really boring, out of place lines. 686 00:50:51.119 --> 00:50:53.079 Yeah, but you know what when they were given the where are the assholes 687 00:50:53.119 --> 00:50:57.719 here? Mind you? That's the Problemactly when when those guys were given stuff 688 00:50:57.760 --> 00:51:04.400 to do, they knock it out of the park. So again, this 689 00:51:04.519 --> 00:51:07.599 season is garbage. Don't watch this one? Could did I say skip it 690 00:51:07.679 --> 00:51:10.360 already? I think I've been talking for twenty extra minutes. Skip this episode, 691 00:51:10.559 --> 00:51:15.440 Skip this season in general. Skip skip skip skip skip skip it, 692 00:51:15.679 --> 00:51:20.119 skip it, don't look back. Don't look in this season for quality because 693 00:51:20.159 --> 00:51:25.159 it's not here now. And that's a shame because tailors from the Crypt did 694 00:51:25.280 --> 00:51:30.440 all of us dirty. Yeah. If you find enjoyment in this season, 695 00:51:31.559 --> 00:51:35.199 great, good for you. I'm not telling you you can't enjoy it. 696 00:51:35.599 --> 00:51:37.280 Frankly, I don't even care if you enjoy it, just like you shouldn't 697 00:51:37.320 --> 00:51:40.360 care if I enjoy it. But I think we can all agree as fans 698 00:51:40.440 --> 00:51:45.760 of the show, which we are, the effort that they put forward in 699 00:51:45.840 --> 00:51:49.639 this season, and especially this season, and somewhat the last one lacking, 700 00:51:50.280 --> 00:51:54.440 and that's not okay, not in any way, shape or form. No, 701 00:51:55.639 --> 00:52:00.599 So on that we will bring you our five episode talking about the show 702 00:52:00.719 --> 00:52:05.679 proper on the next episode, and we're gonna be talking about the only fully 703 00:52:05.760 --> 00:52:08.840 animated episode of the show. It took them ninety three episodes to get there, 704 00:52:08.920 --> 00:52:13.760 but they're here now, and we're gonna be talking about the Third Pig, 705 00:52:14.199 --> 00:52:16.239 which I kid you not, the final episode of Tales from the Crypt 706 00:52:16.360 --> 00:52:22.559 is based on the Three Little Pigs, because even the final episode of the 707 00:52:22.599 --> 00:52:27.000 show isn't based on Tales from the Crypt right to the end, right they 708 00:52:27.199 --> 00:52:32.079 they hung the lantern on it too. They're consistent. I mean, it 709 00:52:32.199 --> 00:52:36.159 does beggar the question, though, could they have done this show like that 710 00:52:36.639 --> 00:52:38.719 where they take stories and put them through the Tales from the Crypt lens. 711 00:52:38.840 --> 00:52:43.119 That's the question I want answered on the next episode because I've never seen it, 712 00:52:43.199 --> 00:52:47.559 but I'm I'm curious. We will discuss the answer is now. Until 713 00:52:47.559 --> 00:52:51.960 then, where can people find to your father Malone? Oh? Great God, 714 00:52:52.039 --> 00:52:57.199 damn you. No, you can hear me. If you want to 715 00:52:57.239 --> 00:53:01.000 check me out any of the crazy non sense I post, go to father 716 00:53:01.119 --> 00:53:06.119 Malone dot com. I got links there to everything, including the main thing 717 00:53:06.199 --> 00:53:08.920 that I do, which is I write and produce a half hour to forty 718 00:53:09.000 --> 00:53:13.960 five minute radio drama every month called Dark Destinations, where we bring you to 719 00:53:14.079 --> 00:53:17.280 towns that do not exist. You can also hear me with Chris and our 720 00:53:17.360 --> 00:53:22.320 goodman Mike White over at Dreams for Sale the twilight Zone eighty five podcast. 721 00:53:22.639 --> 00:53:28.519 As I've been quoted as saying the only decent reboot of the Twilight Zone that 722 00:53:28.599 --> 00:53:30.960 exists. Not only have you been quoted saying it, I say it at 723 00:53:30.960 --> 00:53:34.639 the beginning of every podcast. I know. That's what I'm referring to. 724 00:53:35.880 --> 00:53:40.480 Yeah, as for me, you can find me on Twitter at Christmas Clause 725 00:53:40.679 --> 00:53:45.840 and that's where I am culturecast other things I post it there. Yeah, 726 00:53:46.000 --> 00:53:49.719 that's where you can find me. You can find us on Twitter at Chronicles 727 00:53:49.800 --> 00:53:53.679 FTC and on Instagram and yeah, that's where you can find us Chronicles FTC 728 00:53:54.000 --> 00:53:58.840 dot com or excuse me, chronicles from the crypt dot com. Big thanks 729 00:53:58.880 --> 00:54:02.559 as always to John because here Um for for being the crypt Keeper that we 730 00:54:04.000 --> 00:54:07.519 uh we definitely deserved because man, that guy's still he's still putting in work 731 00:54:07.639 --> 00:54:13.039 right until the end, so you gotta give him credit for that, and 732 00:54:13.400 --> 00:54:15.440 uh yeah, we'll catch you on the next episode.