1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:34,560 Welcome to softcore History. What is up? Welcome back to softcore History. 2 00:00:34,679 --> 00:00:39,840 I am your host, Rob Fox. It is our last edition of Halloween 3 00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:46,520 Horror Month. I'm joined as always by Dan Ridges and Jake Goldman. I'm 4 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:50,119 a little witch the witchy. I'm a little witchy, feeling a little witchy 5 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:54,679 today. I am dressed as Winnie the Pooh's second best friend, Tigger. 6 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:59,880 Yeah, him and pigletter boys. Yeah, piglets. It's Piglet, just 7 00:01:00,079 --> 00:01:03,399 his friend. Yes. I think they're all deeply a sex. Have I 8 00:01:03,479 --> 00:01:06,159 mentioned on the show before they're all deeply a sexual? Yeah? But no. 9 00:01:06,239 --> 00:01:07,719 But after I had a kid, we started watching Winny of the Pool 10 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,840 Lot and I noticed for the first time as an adult, because I'd never 11 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:15,319 watched Winnie the Poop as an adult really before that Like, clearly, this 12 00:01:15,359 --> 00:01:19,120 is these kids imaginary friends. And for whatever reason, all his imaginary friends 13 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:23,640 are like eighty years old. That's true, troubling. Yeah, they all 14 00:01:23,719 --> 00:01:26,799 are very old. They're all old people. They're all old. They all 15 00:01:26,799 --> 00:01:30,359 sound like old people, like, oh, oh, I don't know, 16 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:34,799 being like it's just it's it's literally, if you go to a fucking nursing 17 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:38,359 home, the conversations that they have on Winnie the Pooh or what's being had 18 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,200 there. I'm also wearing a onesie. You are as well. You are 19 00:01:41,239 --> 00:01:42,599 a lama from also here. Thanks for having me on your show, guys, 20 00:01:42,719 --> 00:01:46,640 Yeah, you're welcome. You best guest, Dan re Jester. You're 21 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,480 the lama from Fortnite? Is that what I am? I think you were 22 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:53,480 a Fortnite long I found this? Yeah, er, i'd wear this in 23 00:01:53,519 --> 00:01:57,200 solidarity. Yeah, well, since you texted us at like fucking eleven o'clock 24 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,599 last night, I mean, like, don't forget to bring Halloween costumes. 25 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,319 Yeah, I'm the only one that shows up with a Halloween He found that 26 00:02:01,359 --> 00:02:05,719 hat here. Jake found that hat here. Technically I still have blood on 27 00:02:05,719 --> 00:02:08,199 my fish from last night and my neck, but that wasn't part of your 28 00:02:08,199 --> 00:02:10,479 costume, right, did you not? I just kind of fight. What 29 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:14,400 did you do last night? Well, you know, I was tired of 30 00:02:14,439 --> 00:02:17,280 all these uh you know, alpha males bullying me on the internet, so 31 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,439 I went out and just got a fist fight. Fuck. Yeah, just 32 00:02:20,479 --> 00:02:23,199 approve a point for those who don't know or didn't see. Uh, some 33 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:28,319 like not really popular only had like twenty thousand followers, but like right wing 34 00:02:28,879 --> 00:02:30,719 ultra ultra right wings were giving them the time of day. Okay, sure, 35 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:36,039 I tried to like volley back and forth with him. He was just 36 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,840 he was, I'm not having it. He's not very good. He posted 37 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,280 a clip of our podcast being like this is the State of History podcast now, 38 00:02:42,319 --> 00:02:46,159 and everyone was like, look at these these cook boys. Fucking well 39 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:50,319 yeah, no, my favorite these soy boys. Yeah. My favorite comment 40 00:02:50,479 --> 00:02:53,199 was like, first off, bitch, I would never sweat my body, 41 00:02:53,479 --> 00:02:57,919 damn wouldn't. My favorite comment though, was these guys are clearly like in 42 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,879 open relationships, getting pegged by their girl friends and eating weed gummies. I 43 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:04,599 was like, dude, I haven't eaten a weed gummy in a while, 44 00:03:06,159 --> 00:03:10,159 choking. I probably fucked your wife at some point. Yeah, and you 45 00:03:10,199 --> 00:03:15,479 know what, it's fine what I do with my open relationship wife. Just 46 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,199 kidding. We are in a very close to one. It's very close. 47 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:22,360 Yeah, Jake doesn't allow her to leave the house that his permission. I'm 48 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,039 actually I'm actually an avatar. I'm not even you only have one car like 49 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:30,639 a crowder as well? Yeah, what is that? There's some fuckus? 50 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,120 Is that Steve like a louder? With crowded. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, 51 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,759 that guy's he's rich as fuck with their family only has one car for 52 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,639 reasons. Yeah, because he probably goes out and focks no because she can't 53 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:45,199 leave. Yeah, oh that's right, he's his he's a psychopath basically. 54 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,759 Yeah. No, I remember, there's a lot of ship like he is. 55 00:03:47,039 --> 00:03:50,520 I'm not being serious. We didn't have to go this deep into it. 56 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,039 I was just making a funny funny. Just make it a funny Oh 57 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,159 again, Yeah, it doesn't matter. I'll stand by Roberty Lee being more 58 00:03:55,159 --> 00:03:59,280 on though. That's fine. It was just a dumb quote. I stand 59 00:03:59,319 --> 00:04:00,759 by him just being an nerd. It was yeah, no, no to 60 00:04:00,759 --> 00:04:04,400 Americans, loser, just straight up losing. Though we lost the war, 61 00:04:05,039 --> 00:04:10,080 yes, but yeah zero demerit said west Point was what are you trying to 62 00:04:10,319 --> 00:04:12,560 prove? It was our clip making fun of his quote. It was like, 63 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,800 it's a good thing. War is so terrible unless we grow too fond 64 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,680 of it, which doesn't mean anything. Doesn't make any sense. But well, 65 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,480 first off, that's just how they talked, all right, that's let 66 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:27,199 me push back, let me play Devil's avocado here. It's a it's a 67 00:04:27,199 --> 00:04:30,279 fine quote, right, fine, because there's also people that we know that 68 00:04:30,319 --> 00:04:32,879 have gone the war that I've talked about how it's addicted in. Yeah, 69 00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:39,480 sure whatever, but they say they don't. The more the less terrible it 70 00:04:39,519 --> 00:04:43,600 is. I don't care. I got swept under the same rug as a 71 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,680 cuckboy like you. I know. But it's the same as like that Michael 72 00:04:46,759 --> 00:04:48,480 Jordan quote that's like I never lost, I just ran out of time. 73 00:04:48,519 --> 00:04:54,079 That means you lost. No, I agree with Jordan. The timed game. 74 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:57,279 It's a timed game, just like any Nate Diaz fight. He just 75 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,319 ran out of rounds. Oh my god, I fucking if it was a 76 00:05:00,319 --> 00:05:01,439 real fun I would have got you. Yeah, there's no round you just 77 00:05:01,439 --> 00:05:04,000 go to someone. Well, if it was a real fight, you would 78 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,800 have not been stopped the previous four rounds, right, and they would have 79 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:11,399 just choked you out. Nate. Yeah, if you really wanted to, 80 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:19,040 Leon Edwards would have beat your ass. My god. Anyway, welcome back 81 00:05:19,079 --> 00:05:21,560 to the show. If you haven't already, please leave a review on our 82 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:26,639 on Apple, like, write a review and leave five stars on Spotify. 83 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,040 You just leave five stars helps us jump up the ratings so we can get 84 00:05:30,879 --> 00:05:34,000 nitpicked by more weirdos on Twitter. Also, we have a Patreon Patreon dot 85 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:40,079 com slash softcore history. Five dollars a month gets you what extra eight episodes 86 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,759 a month. I don't do the math man and next sometimes this morn I 87 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:46,319 think it's this month. It's probably closer to ten. It's more like ten. 88 00:05:46,399 --> 00:05:49,160 Yeah octobers like that, five week, eight eight to nine episodes a 89 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:53,879 month. We'll call it plush every week. Yeah, an entire evergreen back 90 00:05:53,959 --> 00:05:57,680 catalog of stuff of history stuff. There's so much at this point you will 91 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,519 never run out. It's the Patreons'm going for a while, so check it 92 00:06:00,519 --> 00:06:03,560 out. Check all that out. It's awesome. But yeah, it's Spooky 93 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:09,000 month. It's Halloween horror month. Well it's the day before a Halloween right 94 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,120 now when this comes out. Yeah, yeah, we're recording on the twenty 95 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:15,639 ninth, comes out the thirtieth. So we're going to talk about my favorite 96 00:06:15,639 --> 00:06:19,439 Spooky Month topic today, witches, witch trials and the again might be my 97 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:25,199 favorite one yet because I don't think they even cared about witchcraft. I really 98 00:06:25,199 --> 00:06:28,639 think they just wanted to use their torture tools. It's like, yeah, 99 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,160 it's like, why else are you going to develop them. Yeah right, 100 00:06:30,399 --> 00:06:33,079 I mean I don't think anyone cared about terrorism. We just wanted to use 101 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,879 the new stuff we made in the desert, same kind of concept. I 102 00:06:35,879 --> 00:06:40,879 don't care what Oppenheimer said. He designed that bomb because he wanted to use 103 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,360 it. Yeah, he wanted to see. It's like, well, theory 104 00:06:43,399 --> 00:06:46,879 alone only gets you so far. Yeah, can't just have a war in 105 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,519 your brain? No, I mean I can, but every day it's just 106 00:06:49,519 --> 00:06:54,800 with myself. Every day I'm at war. So today we're going to talk 107 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,480 about a witch trial. And like I said, special for two reasons. 108 00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:00,959 First off, because like I said, I think they were just like, 109 00:07:01,319 --> 00:07:06,040 let's just torture some bitches. Sometimes you got tortures some bitches. Yeah, 110 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:09,600 hey they meant too, they did. There were plenty of men that were 111 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,800 tortured. But you know, if your witch, you a bitch and then 112 00:07:12,879 --> 00:07:15,800 could be bitches too. Yeah, these guys were bitches and brush your shoulders 113 00:07:15,839 --> 00:07:19,920 off. Uh. And the second reason is because these witch trials were actually 114 00:07:19,959 --> 00:07:26,560 what inspired Shakespeare to write Macbeth. Oh really, these were the witch trials 115 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:30,199 that inspired Macbeth, and specifically the Weird Sisters or whatever at the start, 116 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:33,879 the one that Macbeth sells is whatever soul to or you know whatever. So 117 00:07:33,959 --> 00:07:39,920 it inspired evil art, Yeah, the devil's art. Yeah, double bubble 118 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,759 toil, trouble. I don't care for Shakespeare, you know, I think, 119 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,519 I think, I mean either are a lot of people at the time 120 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:46,839 that were like they were like, he's not even that gregeous, right, 121 00:07:46,839 --> 00:07:53,920 it's about like topical ship and these idiots eat it up. He makes content. 122 00:07:54,439 --> 00:08:00,680 Yeah, cont Shakespeare is actually really good, Yes, like one of 123 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,000 the best, some would say one of the best. Yeah, possibly crazy. 124 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:07,720 I mean if you like I am Bic Pentameter, you'll love this guy, 125 00:08:07,519 --> 00:08:11,040 absolute dead. I do remember in high school being like nobody talks like 126 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:15,120 this. It's like, yeah, that's the point. Have you guys ever? 127 00:08:15,439 --> 00:08:18,519 I know you haven't actually acted in a Shakespeare play. You don't know 128 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:22,879 shit about my life? Yeah, dude, I was Macbeth. Was that 129 00:08:22,879 --> 00:08:24,680 the name of the rapist in the school meet school tree? In Macbeth? 130 00:08:26,279 --> 00:08:28,680 You're what a tree? Oh? I was the tempest? Were you? 131 00:08:28,839 --> 00:08:31,759 I was the storm? I am the storm. You just dressed as a 132 00:08:31,759 --> 00:08:37,960 cloud. No, I've never been in that. I was the kid. 133 00:08:39,039 --> 00:08:43,519 I was that soft small part in a Midsummer Night's Dream. What were you 134 00:08:43,639 --> 00:08:48,759 pan? The pan? The goat boy? Uh? You know, I 135 00:08:48,799 --> 00:08:52,000 did wear that costume that was like a face I had in high school for 136 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:56,320 a while, goat legs and no shirt. Carried a pan everywhere, but 137 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,840 a pan flute everywhere. But I didn't do it in the show. I 138 00:08:58,879 --> 00:09:01,519 kind of stole it from the guy. Although, like big theater kid in 139 00:09:01,519 --> 00:09:07,480 my grade ended up being one of the bigger male porn stars. Yeah, 140 00:09:07,799 --> 00:09:11,360 yeah, oh yeah were here's shout out what a good porn name. We've 141 00:09:11,399 --> 00:09:15,000 all seen his penis. Yeah, he wrote for TFM for like two columns. 142 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:18,320 Wait, really about being a point porn star being a porn sorry let 143 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,240 me I mean I actually haven't seen his peanuts, so googlely. Yeah it's 144 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:24,639 a good hog. He's about one hundred and forty pounds. Forty pounds a 145 00:09:24,639 --> 00:09:28,919 hog. Uh yeah, yep, looks the build of a theater kid, 146 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:33,240 certainly. But anyway, memorizing those lines is a fucking nightmare in porn. 147 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,480 No, those lines are easy. No, sometimes you just got honey, 148 00:09:37,519 --> 00:09:41,360 you take after take out of take my My lines in porno are always great. 149 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,600 I always get type casts. I always say, honey, your pizzas 150 00:09:43,639 --> 00:09:48,799 here, I'm going out, uh to Whole Foods. You're you're I'm going 151 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:52,639 to hli Fit's. I'm gonna leave you all alone with the hot pool boy. 152 00:09:52,879 --> 00:09:56,399 Yeah. Oh, I hope nothing goes wrong pool cleaners here. I'm 153 00:09:56,399 --> 00:10:03,320 going to yoga. That's exactly what those I said. We were like funny 154 00:10:03,879 --> 00:10:09,240 um anyway, where the funck was le makefath blah blah. Memory of this 155 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,399 line it sucks because it's literally like it barely makes sense. So you're just 156 00:10:11,399 --> 00:10:15,720 like memorizing random words in a row. Yeah, you know what I mean. 157 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:20,919 Like it's fucking hard. So yeah, Spier Macbeth. Not only that, 158 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:28,200 this is what inspired the witch trials that got King James all convinced that 159 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:31,919 they were witches everywhere. We are talking today about the North Berwick witch trials 160 00:10:31,919 --> 00:10:37,000 of fifteen ninety in Scotland. Hell yeah, Scottish witches. Yes, it's 161 00:10:37,039 --> 00:10:41,279 got Yeah, that's Macbeth. The whole thing, So Shakespeare was because it's 162 00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:43,200 all happened in Scotland. This is before, I think, maybe before James 163 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,519 became King of the whole kingdom. He was just James, King of Scotland 164 00:10:46,519 --> 00:10:52,000 at that point. He was just Jimmy Jimmy to the fellas, Jimmy the 165 00:10:52,039 --> 00:10:58,480 Scott, Jim Scott, Yes, Jim Scott. But yeah, anyway, 166 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,600 he was up. Yeah. So but the setting inspired Shakespeare a lot too. 167 00:11:01,639 --> 00:11:07,919 He loved the Scottish setting. So you may be wondering what started what 168 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:16,519 event kicked off the North Berwick witch Trials and that answer, I guess women 169 00:11:16,639 --> 00:11:22,200 be learning. No, no, no, it wasn't even that, honestly, 170 00:11:22,879 --> 00:11:30,080 like I said, women be laughing, women be being fellas, women 171 00:11:30,159 --> 00:11:35,360 being hot but not touchable. Yeah. It was actually the Trier witch Trials 172 00:11:35,639 --> 00:11:39,440 kind of in Germany. So they took place in Trier, Germany after a 173 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:43,720 new Catholic archbishop took over and he wanted to make a mark, you know. 174 00:11:43,919 --> 00:11:48,519 He he was like, I really want to just like prove on the 175 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:52,600 shit and just prove how like righteous I am and how good of an archbishop 176 00:11:52,639 --> 00:11:58,240 I am. So it's sound to just kill a bunch of Protestants, Jews 177 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:03,080 and witches as tales oldest time. Yeah, you gotta rack up those numbers. 178 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,120 Yeah yeah, how else are you going to prove it? If you're 179 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:09,399 I mean, it's the holy Trinity of things to stack for a Catholic. 180 00:12:09,519 --> 00:12:13,960 Yeah, absolutely, baby, Yeah, for sure. I'm surprised though he's 181 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,120 stacking Protestants in Germany. Now obviously he was in a Catholic part of Germany. 182 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,200 Yeah, but you have a couple of choices, right, You can 183 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,759 do a crusade, or you can burn a witch. Yeah. And if 184 00:12:22,799 --> 00:12:26,159 you don't want to travel all that way exactly, you can find a witch 185 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,960 anywhere you find a witch. Witches are everywhere, morsades. If you're like 186 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:33,320 a home body bishop, you get a witch. Witch, did you bunch 187 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:37,720 of witches? So? Between fifteen eighty seven and fifteen ninety three, three 188 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:43,639 hundred and sixty eight people were burned alive for sorcery uh in twenty two villages 189 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:50,120 around treer Uh and in fifteen eighty eight, two of those villages were left 190 00:12:50,159 --> 00:12:52,679 with only one female inhabitant in each. Oh, what a nightmare for her? 191 00:12:54,879 --> 00:12:56,840 No oh, sorry, we made you the most popular person in town. 192 00:12:58,039 --> 00:13:03,080 Not all popularity. Yeah. I don't like the amount of like kids 193 00:13:03,159 --> 00:13:11,480 that were just left orphaned by this bishop. I guess this very upstanding righteous 194 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:16,440 man fucking crazy. There was also including those three out of those three sixty 195 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:20,360 eight, one hundred and eight were from the nobility. Whoa they were getting 196 00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:28,679 everybody one of the victims. Dietrich Flade Flawed who knows, was the chief 197 00:13:28,799 --> 00:13:33,679 judge of the court, and he was like, guys, this is fucking 198 00:13:33,799 --> 00:13:37,039 dumb. This is we like, these all these people aren't We are like, 199 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:41,360 yeah, witches exist, but I'm sure all these people aren't witches. 200 00:13:41,519 --> 00:13:46,600 And you're only getting them to confess with torture. And I don't really buy 201 00:13:46,399 --> 00:13:50,320 that they are like telling the truth. I think they just want you to 202 00:13:50,399 --> 00:13:52,000 stop cutting their fingers, right, No, if you have two witches, 203 00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:56,159 to even have one, that's the it's the age old adage, right, 204 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,600 if you have two witches, you have no witches. Well, to these 205 00:13:58,639 --> 00:14:01,559 people, you have two witches. There's five hundred war somewhere. Yeah, 206 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:05,039 there has to be, and they're everywhere. No, how unpopular do you 207 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,240 think the guys that's like, hey, have we ever considered that? They're 208 00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:11,960 just saying stuff? So the torture stops and it's not real. That guy 209 00:14:11,039 --> 00:14:16,240 had to be the least fun guy in the witch brigade. Uh yeah, 210 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:20,799 well they didn't think he was very fun. So he was accused and then 211 00:14:20,879 --> 00:14:26,240 consequently arrested, tortured, strangled and burned himself. Dude. Yeah, okay, 212 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,480 so they were like, you know what, maybe you're a witch. 213 00:14:28,639 --> 00:14:33,639 I mean this is literally just pedophile. Just replace it with groomer or pedophile 214 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:37,759 or anything or anything. Yeah, or terrorists fucking yeah, or colonizer or 215 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:46,279 insurrectionist clan member, fascist, fascist is a great one. Calm me said, 216 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:50,039 whatever, yeah, just it's just because if it's really just if someone's 217 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:54,000 like, I don't know about that, this seems a little crazy. Yeah, 218 00:14:54,279 --> 00:14:56,480 it's like, oh, you know, who would say that a fill 219 00:14:56,559 --> 00:15:01,879 in the blank? Yeah, yeah, bad whatever the bad word is, 220 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:07,039 whatever that thing is. Needless to say, these trials were huge news in 221 00:15:07,159 --> 00:15:13,080 the region, and they were a topic of common discussion, including in Copenhagen, 222 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,440 Denmark. Oh yes, yes, Copenhagen, the happiest polace on earth. 223 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:20,200 Now what does Copenhagen have to do with all of this, Well, 224 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:24,799 you see, Princess Anne of Denmark was engaged to be married to King James. 225 00:15:26,519 --> 00:15:31,360 MM. So she's engaged to be married. You know, by engaged, 226 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:35,639 I mean they were like, hey, you you're going there. Yeah, 227 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:43,320 so she's gonna gonna marry King James gets on a ship bound for Scotland 228 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:50,600 to go be Wed. But the journey is absolutely slammed by storms so badly 229 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:56,720 that they have to veer off and uh just go to the port and uh 230 00:15:56,799 --> 00:15:58,919 Oslo, Norway, and they got to just chill there for a while. 231 00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:04,200 It seems like a time where you don't want to make pit stops, depends 232 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,480 on where you're going. The Norwegians were chill. They let them hang out 233 00:16:07,519 --> 00:16:12,320 in their court. They were good. Yeah, I feel like royalty and 234 00:16:12,399 --> 00:16:17,759 nobility and stuff was really just like it was so who house. It was 235 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:21,840 like you can come it not the literal enemy or it looks bad, like 236 00:16:21,919 --> 00:16:27,480 how King George when the last czar was like please, cousin, how do 237 00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:30,720 you get the fuck out of It was more like an airline lounge, like 238 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,399 a Delta lounge, like a sky Milese but like I got the silver card, 239 00:16:36,159 --> 00:16:41,320 old card here recently downgraded. Yeah, sorry, we dropped you to 240 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:47,679 a standard account. I'm so sorry. You let what you let peasants get. 241 00:16:47,759 --> 00:16:51,840 You gotta get that under They just let anybody in here. Huh Yeah, 242 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:59,799 it's gross. So they set up shopping Oslo and King James and they're 243 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:03,600 like the storm fucked up their ships and they needed to repair them and and 244 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,920 you know, resupply and all this stuff. So King James is like, 245 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,680 all right, I don't want to put this wedding off. I'll go to 246 00:17:08,759 --> 00:17:11,240 Oslo and we'll Mary get married there. So they get married there and there's 247 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:18,759 spend a few more weeks living with the Royal Norwegian Court, and then they 248 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:22,200 head to Scotland to live out the rest of their happy lives, but again 249 00:17:23,319 --> 00:17:30,799 slammed by brutal storms like the one hitting this studio right now. We really 250 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:37,039 needed it though, we needed we've needed this last I think it's gonna ran 251 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:38,960 for like a month straight. I'll tell you what, let's fucking go weed. 252 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:45,519 The gray weather makes my pasty skins sing like my It's like rob actually 253 00:17:45,519 --> 00:17:47,960 starts glowing when it gets over here, you know, like when when they 254 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:52,039 put the metal in that security guard's blood and Magneto just was like, oh, 255 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:56,680 we like gets a little horny. Basically, it would be good content 256 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:00,000 if we built an arc an arc. I don't want to do that. 257 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,319 It's such a long process. You don't want you don't want to build with 258 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,440 your hands. Not an arc, No, not much of anything, to 259 00:18:07,559 --> 00:18:10,559 be honest, Actually, you know what, Dan, I'll build an ARC 260 00:18:10,599 --> 00:18:15,079 with you. We have to launch it in Lake Travis. Why Travis, 261 00:18:15,519 --> 00:18:18,359 Because it's the closest lake I could think of. I'm excited to Lady Bird 262 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:22,160 like Ladybirdake, We'll have an ARK in downtown Austin. Do Lake Travis because 263 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:26,279 you'll both drown? What do you mean that lake will take you? You 264 00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:30,519 don't think we can build an narcod enough. I just think you'll drown. 265 00:18:30,839 --> 00:18:33,640 Okay, Now we have to build the arc, especially you. I don't 266 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:37,440 think you're much of a swimmer. I'm a fantastic swimmer. Actually, I'm 267 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:41,000 actually of the two of us, I'm definitely the weaker one. Yeah. 268 00:18:41,039 --> 00:18:44,519 No, I would go to the pocon As every summer and I uh, 269 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:49,079 I just swim the entire lake like wan paw pack. What cool? Yeah, 270 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:55,519 I don't almost get smoked by boats like a manatee kind of danity, 271 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:59,559 Like, oh shit, we had a kid, Dan Scott, just insane 272 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,119 scar on his back propellers. I learned how to swim at the y MCA. 273 00:19:03,319 --> 00:19:07,680 Motherfucker dude. A friend of mine actually saw Dan when he was out 274 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,759 on a boat. He saw Dan in the lake and he went to jump 275 00:19:10,799 --> 00:19:14,640 on him and he went through it went through heah, I went through dance 276 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,279 riding corpse. It was crazy. Now I'm a fantastic swimmer, though, 277 00:19:17,319 --> 00:19:21,440 Okay, I could probably be both of you with like a twenty five meter 278 00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:23,799 head start. I wouldn't be surprised by that. A twenty no way, 279 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:27,519 yeah, no way, twenty five meters I'm not. I'm never ast swimmer. 280 00:19:27,559 --> 00:19:30,839 You're not going to get me into. So what's what is the distance 281 00:19:30,839 --> 00:19:33,480 we're talking about? I'm twenty five meters. Yeah, it's a fifty meter 282 00:19:33,599 --> 00:19:40,640 race'll beat you. That's hilarious. Uh, I'm down for that. Okay, 283 00:19:40,839 --> 00:19:44,359 I'll film it. I guess I don't really care about competition. It's 284 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,480 weird that Rob thinks I have like no athletic bones in my body, because 285 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,440 I didn't say that. I know you have athletic bones in your body. 286 00:19:49,599 --> 00:19:52,720 You just didn't strike me as a swimmer. It's a very specific skill. 287 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:56,880 It's a survival skill. It's not even it's not even a sports skill. 288 00:19:56,519 --> 00:19:59,759 It's like, hey, I'm not dying. You just strike me. I 289 00:19:59,839 --> 00:20:03,039 know you could. I assumed you can swim. I just didn't think swimming 290 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:08,039 was something you did a lot as a kid Jersey Shore brother. Yeah, 291 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,920 do you swim in the Yeah. I used to get hammered drunk doing in 292 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:15,799 college. Uh uc have a good cocoa beach, me and my buddies get 293 00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:18,400 fucked up, and then we'd swim out as far out past the pier, 294 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,640 like a mile out. This is literally like I should be dead at something. 295 00:20:21,759 --> 00:20:25,640 It's just like the thing that like moms are scared of when their kids. 296 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:26,799 Good, I should have been swept away by a current, eaten by 297 00:20:26,839 --> 00:20:33,480 a shark. Anything, But no, I don't swim too far Dan blackout, 298 00:20:33,559 --> 00:20:36,759 drunk and a mile out on the coast. It's crazy how when you 299 00:20:36,839 --> 00:20:38,359 drink too much, all the things you shouldn't do seem like good ideas. 300 00:20:38,559 --> 00:20:42,279 It's possible. Yeah, yeah, you just yeah. The only limitation is 301 00:20:42,319 --> 00:20:48,359 your mind, that's right. And when you don't have a mind, you 302 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:52,200 just shut that guy right the fuck up. Quiet. So they lived in 303 00:20:53,279 --> 00:20:56,480 Oh yeah, they got slam by storm. Sorry so the anyway. The 304 00:20:56,559 --> 00:21:02,480 Danish Minister of Finance, Christopher Valkendorf, was accused by the guy in charge 305 00:21:02,519 --> 00:21:07,960 of the fucking boats, Admiral Peter Monk, of doing a really shitty job 306 00:21:08,079 --> 00:21:12,240 equipping the boats to handle storms, and also like putting the right amount of 307 00:21:12,279 --> 00:21:18,960 supplies and stuff being cheap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and uh so 308 00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:22,880 the admirals like, I've been on a million boats. I have a fucking 309 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,599 admiral. You did an awful job, like paying for these getting these boats 310 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,880 prep. We were not ready to get hit by a storm. We were 311 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:36,000 barely ready to get to Scotland. This is your fault. And Christopher Walkendorf 312 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:41,160 was like, no, I didn't do a bad job. It was witches. 313 00:21:45,079 --> 00:21:47,160 Don't you wish you could play that card now, I dude, I 314 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,880 was just about to say, it's like, oh, it was the witches 315 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:49,839 in my blood that made me say that. When I was yeah, he 316 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,640 was like, no, dude, he wasn't. It wasn't what I did. 317 00:21:52,839 --> 00:22:00,680 It was it was this chick, Karen Waivers. He had he had 318 00:22:00,799 --> 00:22:03,160 caused he had been the storming caused by witches in the house of Karen Faivers. 319 00:22:03,799 --> 00:22:06,799 I think they had gotten in an argument or something. And he was 320 00:22:06,839 --> 00:22:08,759 like, and she curt She fucking cursed me, man, And that's what 321 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:15,640 happened. And I was I did a good job. And no one bought 322 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,319 that. Yeah, no one bought that's it's amazing. That's actually well then 323 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:22,119 how did they how did they continue? Yeah, because Valkendorf doubled down. 324 00:22:22,839 --> 00:22:26,640 I was like, I'm telling you, bro, it was witches. Why 325 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:30,160 why would he lie? Yeah, it wasn't me doing a bad job. 326 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,799 It was fucking witches. That would be such a good excuse to like, 327 00:22:34,079 --> 00:22:37,079 I know, you play this card all the time with your kids, like, 328 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:38,880 oh, you know, I can't really go out tonight, got the 329 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,880 kid's wife got put on. That's the only time I wouldn't play that card. 330 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:47,759 It's for doing stuff that has responsibility. But back then, if you 331 00:22:47,839 --> 00:22:51,839 know, you didn't want to go out with this specific grip that you know, 332 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:56,440 witches got me, Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I got some as 333 00:22:56,599 --> 00:23:00,000 witch fucking spit on me, and I'm like my hand out of a tone 334 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,839 hand, I kind of can't today. It's gonna turn real wardy if I 335 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:07,119 come out. Yeah, you don't want you don't want that? Yeah, 336 00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:11,279 no, which is like the devil made me do it, essentially right. 337 00:23:11,519 --> 00:23:15,799 They've used people have tried to use that defense up in like as late as 338 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:19,799 nineteen eighty. That's a present day somebody is noon was just people don't even 339 00:23:19,839 --> 00:23:22,279 pay any mind to it. I just watched a documentary on a guy that 340 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:30,559 went his initial defense was I'm going to plead not guilty on grounds of demonic 341 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,880 possession, and lawyer is like, yeah, we're gonna run with this. 342 00:23:33,279 --> 00:23:34,799 Yeah, And the court was immediately like, no, you're not. We're 343 00:23:34,799 --> 00:23:38,119 not even gonna listen to that. It's fucking stupicking crazy. Yeah, and 344 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:42,640 he's like, okay, self defense, Like no, you can't say that 345 00:23:42,759 --> 00:23:48,440 now because you originally said demonic possession, so we know we know it wasn't 346 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:52,960 self defense, right. Yeah. Fuck. So there was a famous witch 347 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:59,200 at the time. Her name was Anne Coldings. She was so infamous that 348 00:23:59,319 --> 00:24:02,160 she was called the mother of the Devil, and they just let her run 349 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,720 around like that. No, she was in jail at this point, and 350 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:10,000 they were basically like human zooinger like people come toee like this crazy witch and 351 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,960 she was like super She was like a celebrity basically, but she was in 352 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:18,720 jail for a different witchcraft charge, well known in the country. So Valcandorf 353 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,720 is like, dude, it was witches. Why don't we ask that which 354 00:24:22,759 --> 00:24:25,759 we have in jail right now? I should tell you. She'll know, 355 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:32,799 she'll know she's a witch. So the Dutch authorities were like, okay, 356 00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:37,799 you say a witch did it and she knows, well, I guess you 357 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:41,359 know, even though it really seems like you're incompetent, I guess it wouldn't 358 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:45,240 hurt anyone to torture and coldings to find out. That's good. So they 359 00:24:45,279 --> 00:24:51,240 were like this Valcandorf guys really insistent they were witches. I guess let's torture 360 00:24:51,319 --> 00:24:53,599 Anne and just see if she says anything. It's like a shitty magic eight 361 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:59,359 ball. It's just a witch. You stab in a room, it spits 362 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:02,880 out answers. You just like keep a guy locked in your attic. You 363 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,359 go out there, put a gun in his mouth, and you're like, 364 00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:10,599 am I gonna be a millionaire today? The guy with the gun in the 365 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,680 mouth, guy never lies that. I'll keep it the attic. So I'm 366 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,519 not a millionaire. It's somebody else's fault. Yeah, that's originally that was 367 00:25:15,599 --> 00:25:21,519 originally the plot for a minority report. Pree Cocks were just dudes with guns 368 00:25:21,559 --> 00:25:22,799 in their mouths, just walking. You're like, hey, is this the 369 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:37,920 killernority report? So the Dutch authorities torture and and and is like, you 370 00:25:38,039 --> 00:25:41,200 know, what Yeah, this sucks. I'll just submit to something. So 371 00:25:41,319 --> 00:25:45,559 she says a group of women had gathered in the House of Karen, where 372 00:25:45,559 --> 00:25:49,400 they had caused the storm of the on the princess's ship by sending small devils 373 00:25:49,799 --> 00:25:53,839 up the keels of the ship. And also I think they put should They 374 00:25:53,839 --> 00:26:00,240 said they like ding like it was undersupplied because devils got into the bare rolls 375 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,000 and made them leak and stuff like that. Of course that's what devils do. 376 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:07,119 Yeah, right, yeah, or maybe Valcandorf claimed that and then she 377 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:11,119 was like, yeah, there were devils everywhere. Anyway, Valcandorf is cleared 378 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:15,240 of being incompetent because the witch that they tortured for eight hours was like they 379 00:26:15,279 --> 00:26:18,920 did it eight hours, however, I mean it wasn't quick, Like I 380 00:26:18,079 --> 00:26:23,319 just don't understand. You think they just ask her first? Right, yeah, 381 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,720 like, hey were there? But which is lie? Oh right, 382 00:26:26,759 --> 00:26:29,079 I gotta get the truth out of them. Just do lie? After eight 383 00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:32,000 hours? Though? Do you think like a whistle blows and like ah shifts 384 00:26:32,039 --> 00:26:34,440 over. Well, we did talk about that in the exorcism I did for 385 00:26:34,559 --> 00:26:37,920 Patreon last week. I think, right, a boy, how they were 386 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:41,759 taking lunch breaks during the three day excises the girl that slithered like a snake. 387 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,920 Yeah, you have to. You can't do three straight of that. 388 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,960 I still can't get over that that. They let that go on for a 389 00:26:48,039 --> 00:26:51,920 few weeks, decompressed, before they were finally like, enough is it? 390 00:26:52,079 --> 00:26:56,440 No? Can you remember how has been walking around with a fucking six ft 391 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,599 elongated spine coming out of the top of her tour So like, I don't 392 00:26:59,599 --> 00:27:02,559 know what else do you want me to say? She shouldn't be here anymore. 393 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:10,000 They're like all right. So Coldings was then burned alive in July fifteen 394 00:27:10,079 --> 00:27:12,000 ninety. Oh an, why would you kill your magic a ball? I 395 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:17,160 right, she could give you all of the stuff. Coldings had named five 396 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:21,880 other The mother of the Devil had named five other women as accomplices. Among 397 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:30,319 them was Malon, who was wife of the mayor of Hell's Nigoor hellsingor healsingor 398 00:27:30,559 --> 00:27:38,720 helsingor Hellsinger Hellsinger may who knows Margaret Si Scrivers was another one. All the 399 00:27:38,759 --> 00:27:47,640 women were arrested in charge this spouse. Scrivers husband unsuccessfully tried to defend her, 400 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,400 I guess in court or just to the people arresting her, and he 401 00:27:49,519 --> 00:27:55,279 was arrested in charge for witchcraft himself. You gotta run, You just gotta 402 00:27:55,319 --> 00:27:56,519 run, like sorry, babe, no, no, no, I just 403 00:27:56,559 --> 00:28:00,519 be like if if you got a witch accusation outbreak going on in your town, 404 00:28:00,559 --> 00:28:03,400 you get the fuck out of there. Yeah, take your chances, 405 00:28:03,839 --> 00:28:07,799 Like, what are the odds going to be? Me too? Right? 406 00:28:07,039 --> 00:28:11,440 The original me too? I'm pretty cool. People love, but I'm not 407 00:28:11,519 --> 00:28:15,880 a witch. That's what they all say. That's exactly what. Surely they 408 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:19,000 won't bring the hammer down on me. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm at 409 00:28:19,079 --> 00:28:22,799 church all the time, in a mis church two weekends ago. But they'll 410 00:28:22,799 --> 00:28:26,759 probably remember that. Oh, they very much remember. Uh. They take 411 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,240 role. It's like a fucking college. It's like a college class, an 412 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:34,599 auditorium class that takes attendance. It's fucking pastards. It's anqum. You know 413 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:38,480 you had to the laser clicker to prove you were in class. Do you 414 00:28:38,519 --> 00:28:41,920 remember that shit? Fuck that the clicker? Yeah? I hated those things. 415 00:28:42,079 --> 00:28:45,720 Click. Well, they just want to get your answers. No, 416 00:28:45,359 --> 00:28:49,119 it's not for attendance. It's so you can participate. Yeah, no, 417 00:28:52,559 --> 00:28:55,200 God, just give it to somebody else. Yeah, and then you have 418 00:28:55,279 --> 00:29:00,680 my clutches with like thirteen of those things. Yeah. Still annoying though. 419 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:07,279 So Karen was arrested in July. She confessed to having been one of them 420 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:12,200 after torture. Uh. And then she said her and Coldings and others gathered 421 00:29:12,279 --> 00:29:17,440 the witches and that caused the storms. They told the storms to hunt the 422 00:29:17,559 --> 00:29:22,920 royal ship with their witchcraft, and they named a couple other more women as 423 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,400 accomplices, because when you're torturing one of the things they want names. Oh 424 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:30,119 yeah, then you get to do more torture. And by the way, 425 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:33,599 this is not even the witch trials we're here to talk about. This is 426 00:29:33,599 --> 00:29:36,519 the Copenhagen witch trials. This is one that inspired the Scottish ones, right, 427 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:42,880 yes, yeah, So James gets back to Scotland incredibly impressed by how 428 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:51,200 the Dane, the Danisher Danish Dutch which whatever they're Danish in Denmark. What 429 00:29:51,359 --> 00:29:57,440 if it was witch trials at the Copenhagen tobacco plant. Oh, I mean, 430 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:03,079 it wouldn't surprise me. It's just a radically different experience. Yeah, 431 00:30:03,359 --> 00:30:10,119 just love spitting, witch spitting men spitting. It's a spitfest. Like she 432 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:14,519 swallowed it and didn't get sick, which I would accuse that she swallowed it, 433 00:30:14,519 --> 00:30:15,799 but her face turned green like a witch. Yeah, like a wit. 434 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,599 Yeah. So he's like many, I am just so impressed with the 435 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,599 Danish. They just they did such a good job rooting out all those definitely 436 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:27,119 real witches. I bet we have witches here, I guarantee you. He 437 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,680 was like, oh, man, that's a great way to blame people, 438 00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:34,559 like this is sick. Yeah. No, he was an idiot obviously about 439 00:30:34,559 --> 00:30:37,839 the wishes, but he was kind of a Christian boy scout like he was 440 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:41,799 like, just just bought it, you know what I mean. So you 441 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,680 told me he had a hunt of witches. He basically got back and he 442 00:30:45,799 --> 00:30:48,079 was like, yeah, there's definitely witches here. I bet they're trying to 443 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:52,559 kill me too. He's got real main character syndrome, which is pretty excusable 444 00:30:52,559 --> 00:30:56,960 for a king to be honest though, the one who damed by God right 445 00:30:56,079 --> 00:30:59,599 right? Yeah, yeah, okay, your main character center makes sense. 446 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,759 Uh So, more than one hundred suspected witches in North bear Work were arrested 447 00:31:03,759 --> 00:31:10,319 when James got back. Several confessed under torture. They confessed that they had 448 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,440 met with the devil in the church at night and they devoted themselves to doing 449 00:31:12,519 --> 00:31:19,319 evil, including poisoning the king and other members of his household and attempting to 450 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:26,519 sink the King's ship. So basically Storm one that tried to that that knocked 451 00:31:26,519 --> 00:31:30,240 Anne over to Oslo, that was the Copenhagen witches. But the Storm two 452 00:31:30,359 --> 00:31:34,079 on the way to Scotland. James was like, I bet those were our 453 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:41,079 witches. Witches can't get that far, which just can move they are they 454 00:31:41,119 --> 00:31:47,039 can use transportation, i'd imagine, yeah, but normal and supernatural. There's 455 00:31:47,279 --> 00:31:52,519 uh, you know, lines of jurisdiction for witches. I imagine too though, 456 00:31:52,799 --> 00:31:56,839 like they can't cross certain water barriers. Then you're getting into the Scottish 457 00:31:56,839 --> 00:32:00,480 witches lane. You can't get on their turf. Yeah, it can. 458 00:32:00,599 --> 00:32:02,640 It will become the turf wars between witches. Yeah, a turf war. 459 00:32:02,799 --> 00:32:06,960 So that's what Harry Potter was. You think that's heat lightning off the distance 460 00:32:07,279 --> 00:32:10,359 exactly know the witch jewel. Don't let that go unnoticed. Yeah, turf 461 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:17,680 war with JK Rowlin. That's actually did it. Wow, I thought that's 462 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:23,160 what you were alluding to. H No, I was not you. Oh 463 00:32:23,319 --> 00:32:25,920 yeah, joke, I say that I did it. Well, yeah, 464 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,680 I didn't even realize my own jokes. Thank you amazing. Yeah I didn't, 465 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:36,319 but yes, rim shot me, bitch. Sorry, I didn't realize 466 00:32:36,319 --> 00:32:39,440 what's going on. It's it's morning, but yeah, that's the new hair. 467 00:32:39,519 --> 00:32:42,759 That's really the next set of Harry Potter books. That's the kids. 468 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:47,240 Uh So several confessed under torture to having met the devil in church at night. 469 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:52,599 Uh. Scottish witches were linked to the storms by the testimony of Gillis 470 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:59,200 Duncan. Apparently, Duncan began to uh exhibit a miraculous healing ability and she 471 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,200 would sneak out of the house at night. She she was a servant to 472 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:07,680 David Seaton, and he was like, I thought she was sus because she 473 00:33:07,799 --> 00:33:09,759 kept healing. I don't know how he noticed this, but he made her 474 00:33:09,839 --> 00:33:15,039 confess. Seaton confronted her. She was she couldn't explain her new ability and 475 00:33:15,039 --> 00:33:17,359 strange. So even she was like, I know, I am healing super 476 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:21,880 fast. Wait, so she would like be sick, heal, come back, 477 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,200 be sick. I guess man, it sounds like she just didn't want 478 00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:29,200 to do the ship. She might have like an immune disorder. Well, 479 00:33:29,319 --> 00:33:35,039 like it was too good. She just like her coffin her. I think 480 00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:38,200 her cough's just like going away quicker, like she gets cold while everyone else 481 00:33:38,319 --> 00:33:43,480 is like basically dead for two weeks. Three days later, she's like, 482 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:45,960 I feel wrong, it's right, I can't do Scottish. She's like, 483 00:33:45,079 --> 00:33:47,519 I feel right, it's right, I'm good. Nobody should do Scottish. 484 00:33:47,559 --> 00:33:52,680 No one should do Scottish mouth and try to do an English accent. There's 485 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:59,359 only one. It's the groundskeeper Willie. That's the best Scottish accents, the 486 00:33:59,359 --> 00:34:02,400 best character the Simpsons. In my humble opinion, I love groundskeeper Willy, 487 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:07,240 especially when he rips his shirt off. He's so jacked. The groundskeeper Willy 488 00:34:07,279 --> 00:34:10,920 being jacked is that? And and any meme I see of Trump being jacked 489 00:34:12,119 --> 00:34:15,000 will never not make me laugh. Those two, those two things I giggle. 490 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:20,320 The man who notably doesn't work out because it expires your battery, which 491 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,159 you only have a certain limit as a human. Trump's ass is so big, 492 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:29,119 bro, you got a fucking donk on. It's can't it's huge. 493 00:34:29,679 --> 00:34:35,199 But it is just I just, I just it just tickles me every fucking 494 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,760 time. So can we be honest though with the witches. Yeah, I 495 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:45,360 guarantee they weren't attractive. They're not going to execute a pretty woman, you 496 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:49,199 know. I kind of think they do. I think there's a really hot 497 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,880 chance for girls that don't put out but are hot to be witches. Yeah, 498 00:34:53,159 --> 00:34:57,119 that could be the case. Yeah, but I imagine a lot of 499 00:34:57,159 --> 00:35:02,880 these witches that they they burnt the steak or or just execute. Probably not 500 00:35:04,039 --> 00:35:07,239 your breast and brightest. Well certainly so for one thing to slip there, 501 00:35:08,039 --> 00:35:13,800 for one thing though there even though that one the trier which trials nabbed a 502 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:19,320 hundred noble people, children among them. Yeah, typically it's poor people. 503 00:35:20,079 --> 00:35:23,159 So they're looking a little rougher, I would imagine than your typical noble person. 504 00:35:23,199 --> 00:35:25,760 I mean, they're living a much rougher life. Right. We talked 505 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:30,559 about what peasantry was like, right, so yeah, I would imagine that 506 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:35,719 the prettiest ones are animals. Were just trying to constantly knock their houses down 507 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,599 there. It's so fucking funny. It's like, yeah, just like every 508 00:35:38,679 --> 00:35:42,519 time a cow is in a rut or I don't even know, a deer 509 00:35:42,639 --> 00:35:45,760 is just running in the like the the animals apparently just saw their houses and 510 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:52,000 were like, no, no, stop doing that do you do this to 511 00:35:52,119 --> 00:35:54,840 Hill's cow? No, those are supposed to be there like that. This 512 00:35:55,000 --> 00:36:02,840 is a square. So Seaton uh was like explaining yourself and she was like 513 00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:10,039 a coot and he was like torture. So she was tortured with the pilliwinks. 514 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,800 Mmm, yes, yes, yes, yes, what is that? 515 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:16,960 It's not as fun as it sounds. Pilly winks, pilliwinks pilli wings the 516 00:36:17,039 --> 00:36:22,239 thumb screw a Yeah, her thumbs screwed into Uh. Eventually she confessed to 517 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:28,679 witchcraft. Uh when but the thumb screw she was stoot with stood actually, 518 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:32,360 but eventually they were like, we're gonna search your body, uh for marks, 519 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:36,119 because if you have a mole or a birthmark, that's the witches mark, 520 00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,400 just any sort of mark in general. Spot. Yeah, so they're 521 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:43,639 gonna strip her down to that and then so I imagine she had some sort 522 00:36:43,679 --> 00:36:47,239 of mole because she is just confessed at that point. Yeah. She then 523 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:51,320 started rolling over on a bunch of other chicks who she said were witches. 524 00:36:51,559 --> 00:36:54,840 Oh so she was a mole. She was a mole with a mole with 525 00:36:54,920 --> 00:37:00,280 a mole, damn it. Yeah. One thing that sucks. I assume 526 00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:01,280 a lot of this is torture, and they're just trying to get the torture 527 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:06,000 to stop. But the one very common thing in witch trials that I've read 528 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:14,599 about is just like they they name so many names as soon like they will 529 00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:17,440 just start listing them off. It's whatever names are in your head at that 530 00:37:17,599 --> 00:37:21,679 time. Yeah, I imagine. And you can't just say fake names because 531 00:37:21,679 --> 00:37:23,039 everybody knows everybody. Yeah, there's not a lot of people, right, 532 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:27,519 How does that save them? Though? It never does? It never does. 533 00:37:27,639 --> 00:37:30,360 It's well, then they just get killed for being a witch. Yeah, 534 00:37:30,679 --> 00:37:32,440 it's the gift. It's what's the point of rolling over on people that 535 00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:36,000 clearly learn? All right, I'll say this, it saves them from further 536 00:37:36,079 --> 00:37:38,159 torture. Yeah, so it doesn't save them. Yeah, they're gonna die, 537 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:45,199 but it sucks soft. I guess it's kinda They don't make witches like 538 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:47,880 they used to. Witch hunting is a disease of the mind. Before we 539 00:37:49,039 --> 00:37:52,119 keep going, we do have some ads, and the first one is policy 540 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:57,039 Genius. Head to policygenius dot com or click the link in the description to 541 00:37:57,119 --> 00:37:59,920 get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save that. 542 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,280 That's policygenius dot com. If you got family, like I do, you 543 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:06,800 need life insurance? Okay? If you die, you can't leave your family 544 00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:08,960 destitute. 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This is a you know, 630 00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:23,079 family owned real companies and some corporation or some dinky strip mall mattress store. 631 00:43:23,519 --> 00:43:29,280 They're supercomfort matches and uh, you know, highly recommend, highly recommend ghost 632 00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:30,840 But I have a bunch of their stuff, all right, let's copeck to 633 00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:38,920 it. So two significant people were accused Agnes Samson it respected an elderly woman, 634 00:43:39,079 --> 00:43:44,920 so not hot. I guess probably not, probably not. And doctor 635 00:43:45,039 --> 00:43:51,519 John probably an old bag. Literally yeah, doctor John fihan uh a schoolmaster 636 00:43:52,679 --> 00:43:59,360 witch up there. Both initially refused to confess. So coward. Torture. 637 00:44:00,039 --> 00:44:05,079 Sure, nothing torture can't fix. I get this, man, It's cool. 638 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,320 We actually prefer if you don't want to tell us I get it. 639 00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:12,119 We would much prefer if you just didn't admit to that. I mean necessarily 640 00:44:12,199 --> 00:44:15,760 that scene in Inglorious Bastards, right, he's like, we're all real tickled 641 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:19,039 to hear that. When he tells me to go fuck them selves, He's 642 00:44:19,079 --> 00:44:22,599 like, yeah, we want, we want to lotch your fucking brains get 643 00:44:22,639 --> 00:44:24,679 bashed. It. It's like the Mongol. It's like, here, hear 644 00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:29,559 me out. We'll give you the chance to give up the city, and 645 00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:32,519 we really wish you don't. We hope you don't want to get one chance. 646 00:44:32,679 --> 00:44:35,800 You get one shot, you don't get the negotiation. Yeah, you 647 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:39,400 got one day to answer, and boy, you're not gonna hurt our feelings 648 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:44,719 if you say no. You're gonna make our days. Actually. So, 649 00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:50,639 Samson was brought before King James himself and a council of nobles. She denied 650 00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:53,079 all the charges, but after a little torture right in front of the king, 651 00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:57,159 probably the king helping who knows, she was like, oh yeah, 652 00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:02,400 no, okay, I'm a witch and you gotta like, honestly, you 653 00:45:02,559 --> 00:45:08,000 have to think King James the idiot that he is. It's just kind of 654 00:45:08,039 --> 00:45:13,719 sitting there like, these are the things. This is why they say heavy 655 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:15,760 is the head that wears the crown. These are the tough things you gotta 656 00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:21,119 do as a king who says that kings kings only kings. Say that. 657 00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,400 You don't get it, man, I even want a torture. I just 658 00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:28,320 sit there, watch a good torch here for hours. Bro. I was 659 00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,679 inconvenienced by a storm one time and I realized I had to do this throughout 660 00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:35,960 my country because a guy did a bad job. Like that is the type 661 00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,519 of thing where it's like you get like a tech billionaire level of just like 662 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:44,960 they don't understand what it's like at the top. They don't understand. They 663 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:51,679 can't see the bigger picture. Yeah they're not thirty. That's just the imagine 664 00:45:51,679 --> 00:45:54,760 that is this. You boot looking for Bill Gates. I don't boot look 665 00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:58,199 for Bill Gates. He's not. He's not even boot looking. He is 666 00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:00,760 making fun of the cross or not the crassness, but the pompousness of that 667 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:02,840 thought. No, but I think he agrees with that logic. I do 668 00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:05,960 agree with that lot. You agree with the logic. Stand I just don't 669 00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,440 think. I'm not Bill Gates guy. Oh, but not really an elon. 670 00:46:08,559 --> 00:46:14,079 I'm a Zuckerberg guy. Yeah. I root for Zack the way he 671 00:46:14,159 --> 00:46:16,280 trains you know. Yeah, he's not bad. I don't really root for 672 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:19,400 any billionaires. I guess, No, he is bad. He I find 673 00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:23,000 some new ones could still probably beat his ass. You could not take zucker 674 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:27,639 work. I could be. Yeah, he's still old. He's got cyborg 675 00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:30,599 bones. Dude, he's gonna fuck you up. No he's not. Yes 676 00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:32,840 he is. I have weight on him too. He's a robot. Fuck, 677 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:36,760 he's like one hundred and forty pounds. He's gonna pull out a cyborg 678 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:42,039 strap on him. Yeah, he's only one fifty five. That's his fighting 679 00:46:42,119 --> 00:46:45,159 way. And also I believe in the Derek Lewis logic with jiu jitsu. 680 00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:47,679 I just don't believe. And I stand up. You just stay on your 681 00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:51,400 feet. It's like, if you don't address it as jiu jitsu, it 682 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:53,679 can't happen that way. Anytime somebody tries to take down Derek Lewis in a 683 00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:58,639 fight, he stands up. That's funny, it's awesome. So I would 684 00:46:58,679 --> 00:47:01,079 simply just not touch the ground. If you don't believe in it, it 685 00:47:01,119 --> 00:47:06,039 doesn't exist. Yeah. I kind of love the magical thinking around not being 686 00:47:06,079 --> 00:47:07,400 beat with jiu jitsu in that mine. It's like, no, why would 687 00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,960 I Why would I go down there? It's dumb down there? Yeah, 688 00:47:10,079 --> 00:47:15,960 no, get up, sin, I've never I want to see this now. 689 00:47:16,199 --> 00:47:19,679 I'm gonna watch a video in between our episodes of him doing this. 690 00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:22,440 Yes, he does it all the time. It's fantasticating. So by special 691 00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:25,360 commandment, Agnes's head and body were shaved. Oh, head and body hair 692 00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:30,400 were all shaved. She was fastened to a wall in her cell with a 693 00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,880 scolds bridle, which is like a thing. It's like a cage or in 694 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:36,920 your face, and they put pokeshit into your tongue and your cheeks and stuff 695 00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:39,360 like that. Oh my god, yeah, four sharp prongs. She was 696 00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:45,320 kept without sleep and they threw a rope around her head for days. These 697 00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:50,679 ordeals. After all this stuff, she confessed to fifty to fifty three indictments 698 00:47:50,679 --> 00:47:53,400 against her. She was finally strangled and burned as a witch. Why do 699 00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:59,360 you need fifty three indictment I fucking it seems like overkill, right, So 700 00:47:59,679 --> 00:48:06,440 Samson Uh confessed to attending a sabbat with two hundred witches, including Gillis Duncan. 701 00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,760 Uh. That's a sabbath. What a sabbath? I don't know. 702 00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:14,119 Let me check s A B A T S A bbat. It's gotta be 703 00:48:14,199 --> 00:48:16,440 like a witch's sabbath. It probably Yeah. Oh, by the way, 704 00:48:17,599 --> 00:48:22,159 this is I just googled what a scolds bridle looks like. This is a 705 00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:27,320 nightmare. Yeah, yes, it's the horrifying punishment for difficult women. Scholds 706 00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:31,480 Bridle, prazy by Johnson is shots, so it is said today to this 707 00:48:31,679 --> 00:48:37,719 day, the naked and bald ghost of Agnes Sampson stripped and tortured after being 708 00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:42,280 accused of witchcraft. So this is post or maybe with the scolds Bridle. 709 00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:47,920 Awn Uh haunts the palace of Holyrood House. So if you guys want to 710 00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:52,400 do an EP go to Scotland. Mmmm, let's go there. Meet an 711 00:48:52,519 --> 00:48:57,119 I would love to go to Scotland. I imagine trying to travel and girl 712 00:48:57,199 --> 00:49:00,599 the show, why not the Nurse Total Friends? Yeah, no, I 713 00:49:00,679 --> 00:49:06,199 mean straight up like we could go during Glasgow during the uh what is it 714 00:49:06,639 --> 00:49:09,079 Edinburgh? That comedy festival whatever it is? Oh, so sure, I 715 00:49:09,199 --> 00:49:14,119 want to go to that thing that you chase the the wheel of cheese down 716 00:49:14,159 --> 00:49:16,719 the hill. Oh, we can do it in Scotland. Probably sounds Scottish. 717 00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:21,360 It sounds very sounds dumb enough to be Scottish. Definitely. Is it 718 00:49:21,519 --> 00:49:23,119 used to be heads but we had to change it to cheese. Oh it's 719 00:49:23,159 --> 00:49:25,920 in Gloucester, England. But whatever, I mean, not a big we 720 00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:30,239 could do. We could do the land mass of Britain. Yeah, it's 721 00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:36,199 fine. So Doctor Fian was also tortured to shit. His fingernails were ripped 722 00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:39,119 out and iron pins were inserted. Uh. He also got the pilliwinks and 723 00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:42,639 the boot, which is where they just put it on your leg and rush. 724 00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,800 Did they just find new ways to crush appendages basically all the time? 725 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:49,079 Pretty much? Yeah? Uh. He was finally taken to Castle Hill in 726 00:49:49,159 --> 00:49:53,559 Edinburgh and burned at the steak. Fian's testimony implicated Francis Stewart, the fifth 727 00:49:53,599 --> 00:49:58,920 Earl of Bothwell, as part of the supernatural conspiracy. So there's now a 728 00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:05,320 political element of the trial. Gillis Duncan also got Barbara Naper arrested for bewitching 729 00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:09,000 to death Archibald Douglas, who was an earl as well. Archibald's disease was 730 00:50:09,119 --> 00:50:13,679 reportedly so strange that there was no cure. Not there was a cure for 731 00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:17,800 anything back then. It was also alleged that you fame mcclasin. Barbara Naper, 732 00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:22,920 Agnes Sampson and others had attended an assembly of witches where an image of 733 00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,880 King James was given to the devil so that they could be like, hey, 734 00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:29,719 devil, this guy, get them get Yeah, hey man, get 735 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,800 this ask you see this one gilt like he doesn't know who the King of 736 00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:37,360 Scotland is, Go get him Lucy. So Naper had also been caught buying 737 00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:40,679 charms to help with her own health. That might explain, Oh no, 738 00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:45,400 she wasn't the healing one. Yeah, and she also improved her a relationship 739 00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:49,079 with the woman she worked for, the Countess. They didn't work because she 740 00:50:49,159 --> 00:50:52,519 got fired. When this all came up in trial, Naper was accused of 741 00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:57,079 practicing witchcraft to kill the king, and she was found guilty but only of 742 00:50:57,159 --> 00:51:01,920 the lesser crime of conspiring with witches, not the plotting to kill the king 743 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,920 or whatever. So what's the what's the punishment for the lesser it's still death? 744 00:51:06,199 --> 00:51:08,320 Well, yeah, King James ordered her to be burnt and publicly disemboweled. 745 00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:15,119 But if the if, like if they found out, But he was 746 00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,719 like, you know what, there's some political stuff here. I didn't quite 747 00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:22,760 get figured out. I would have preferred she got the treason charge trying to 748 00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:29,760 kill me. So he wanted to overturn the first verdict verdict in order to 749 00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:34,599 better prosecute the Earl of Bothwell. So King James went to the jurors and 750 00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:40,360 said, change your decision or I'm gonna punish you. Man. Then why 751 00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:45,079 even have them, right, what's the point even then? Yeah, Like 752 00:51:45,079 --> 00:51:50,440 it really is just make him up throughout time like a lot of like king 753 00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:54,079 like decisions by monarchs like this just remind me of children when it's like, 754 00:51:55,039 --> 00:51:59,199 uh you know what, I win? Yeah, I win, I won 755 00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:01,360 the game. I made a I went like, uh no, actually, 756 00:52:02,159 --> 00:52:06,679 you can't take me in the front yard. Like this part of the front 757 00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:09,800 yard because you get it. Yep, yep, it's that. That's most 758 00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:13,920 people these days, to be honest, No, actually, it's different when 759 00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:20,239 this person does this because of the way that like it's different. I think 760 00:52:21,079 --> 00:52:24,320 one of the things such the most frustrating along with that is just like everything 761 00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:30,320 is no one the level of personal accountability just goes out the window sometimes too. 762 00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,400 No one ever is like blaming Hey, that guy's just an asshole. 763 00:52:32,679 --> 00:52:37,119 That person made a bad decisions. Yeah, it's like, oh, well, 764 00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:39,039 like if you look at his upbringing or you look grew up, or 765 00:52:39,119 --> 00:52:42,920 like you look at like how he was treated at work, you look at 766 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,960 like an asshole. It's like, man, you know other people go through 767 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:49,119 that though, and don't do what the up ship. Yeah, like, 768 00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:53,519 and you know maybe if you do something bad you apologize or whatever. That's 769 00:52:53,559 --> 00:52:57,320 it. I don't know or like get punished for it. I really don't 770 00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:00,880 even get mad at anybody's views anymore. I only get mad at logical or 771 00:53:00,039 --> 00:53:02,920 inconsistencies, you know what I mean. Yeah, Like, it's like you 772 00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:06,760 can believe it, you what, but I just like you would have said 773 00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:08,559 something different it was someone different. Yeah, No, I mean I guess 774 00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:12,719 for me, it's like, honestly, I just like it more fear like 775 00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,039 I believe this because that's how it feels to me. I'm like, of 776 00:53:15,159 --> 00:53:19,199 respect bro vibes, vibes, just tell me it's vi vibes. And I 777 00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:23,440 love when people just yell out random fallacies that they don't know anything about. 778 00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:30,440 Oh that's straw straw man at home at harminem. Sure, dude, you 779 00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:32,199 want to elaborate taking the question, It's like, all right, but what 780 00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:38,440 are you contributing to the conversation? Now? Okay? Cool? Thanks pretty 781 00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:43,559 much. So yeah, the jurors were like, okay, you got it. 782 00:53:45,199 --> 00:53:49,559 But however, there was no there ended up being no record of Barber 783 00:53:49,639 --> 00:53:53,840 Napors execution, and historians believe she got it. Very existed. They thinks 784 00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:58,400 she existed, They're pretty sure, but they think she got away with it 785 00:53:58,679 --> 00:54:00,880 that they send it in the head evans like Mary just well into hell. 786 00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:06,840 But yes, like just dragged down. Yeah you're saying Mary's in hell. 787 00:54:07,159 --> 00:54:09,599 No, Mary's in heaven, granted no, And I mean she did show 788 00:54:09,639 --> 00:54:14,000 the kids at Fatima, Hell she did. Why would she have access to 789 00:54:14,039 --> 00:54:16,760 that if she wasn't in hell herself. I think she just has she's the 790 00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:21,320 gate cord. Her key card can swipe anything open. She just down on 791 00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:22,360 the ground and is like check it out, he can go. Yeah. 792 00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:27,280 She's got security clearance for everything, top notch. Yeah, yeah, I 793 00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:30,039 got it access. It's the real commodity. Do you think she could like 794 00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:37,239 just vanquish demons with her hands? I think she throws fireballs. Would the 795 00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:42,079 fireball put extinguish a demon? Or maybe ball's a light balls light? Maybe 796 00:54:42,159 --> 00:54:46,719 water? It's not Pokemon. She's a grass type, so she's getting burned. 797 00:54:47,039 --> 00:54:50,719 She wears blue. She's a water type. Water type. Yeah. 798 00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:55,719 She's a squirtle Mary. Yeah, Mary squirtled all the time. Sheees. 799 00:54:58,159 --> 00:55:02,920 Mary used hydra pump. Oh, I need to say a rosary for that 800 00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:08,440 one. Silly you. Fame mcleanson, however, was burned at the stake 801 00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:15,360 for many accusations of witchcraft, including that she had used her witchy skills to 802 00:55:15,159 --> 00:55:21,400 relieve the god ordained pain of women giving birth. Oh she's taken away that 803 00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:24,800 original sin punishment. Yeah's They were like, hey, they need to feel 804 00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:30,159 that, you witch. Imagine I can. I know I've been there, 805 00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:34,960 No, but I mean, like what I'm saying is like it's such an 806 00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:38,679 insane way to think of the world. They need to hurt. I think 807 00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:44,599 original. Oh, there's almost like an original sin idea in everybody, you 808 00:55:44,679 --> 00:55:47,480 know what I mean? Everyone everyone has an idea original Without the bit or 809 00:55:47,519 --> 00:55:52,000 the sweet wouldn't taste so sweet. That's dumb. So I need pain, 810 00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:58,039 Yeah, okay, most life is pain. That's why it's it's self imposed 811 00:55:58,079 --> 00:56:00,159 pain as well. It's like, oh what is Oh, you can't have 812 00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:06,320 you can't understand the light without the dark ship it's dumb. Yes, you 813 00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:09,159 can, yeah, from other people if anything. Well, the night is 814 00:56:09,159 --> 00:56:14,480 always darkest before the low's the day after doing cocaine. Make the highs lower 815 00:56:14,639 --> 00:56:16,360 the day before, because that next time I do cocaine, I'm like, 816 00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:24,000 it's gonna be bad. Well, yeah, it's getting that way. With 817 00:56:24,119 --> 00:56:30,119 drinking, I'm good, No, you're fine. But I'm a very strategic 818 00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:32,480 drinker. Now you plan it out. No, I just all my drinks 819 00:56:32,519 --> 00:56:36,760 have like they're mostly water. Oh yeah, like I drink ranch waters. 820 00:56:37,159 --> 00:56:39,360 That's true, like crazy, that's weird. I only drink like whatever the 821 00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:43,159 bartender has under the I don't drink much, so when I do, I 822 00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:45,239 try to make the most out of it. Yeah, usually just I rim 823 00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:51,559 it with PCP a little, just a little. Uh, red Bull vodka 824 00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:54,559 rim it with adderall and PCP. That is the perfect rim for a Red 825 00:56:54,599 --> 00:57:00,360 Bull vodka to get wet. Yeah, adderall the margarita. That's really funny. 826 00:57:02,159 --> 00:57:08,039 So thus ended the Barwick witch Trials. James had been roughly satisfied. 827 00:57:08,079 --> 00:57:10,000 Of course, there were more words witch trials on our King James. I 828 00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:15,280 actually did an episode on them a later one after he wrote his book Demonology 829 00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:21,320 about demons and finding witches and stuff demons. This kind of inspired him. 830 00:57:21,679 --> 00:57:23,400 He was like, man, we crushed at those witch trials. I need 831 00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:27,480 to write this down, and I like, I was so good at interrogating 832 00:57:27,519 --> 00:57:30,599 and stuff like, I probably need to tell other people how good I am 833 00:57:30,599 --> 00:57:31,599 going to write the book on this. Yeah, I'm gonna write the book 834 00:57:31,639 --> 00:57:36,320 on this. So Shakespeare was inspired by because this is huge news in Scotland 835 00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:39,960 and England as well. Shakespeare was inspired by this. Uh took several concepts 836 00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:46,519 from the trials and from the later work of King James Demonology. The witches 837 00:57:46,599 --> 00:57:52,079 are very closely inspired from the testimonies and stuff from these trials. UH. 838 00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:54,559 He also borrowed many quotes from the Treaties, the three witches in Macbeth who 839 00:57:54,599 --> 00:57:58,599 cast their spells to do it in the same manner they're said to do in 840 00:57:58,639 --> 00:58:05,039 the trials. But yeah, my favorite part about this whole thing was it 841 00:58:05,159 --> 00:58:08,239 was basically like a social contagion almost. It was like witch trials were in 842 00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:14,440 the news, and then witch trials pop up in a second place where this 843 00:58:14,599 --> 00:58:19,920 third guy sort of happened to be, and then he's like, that's we 844 00:58:20,239 --> 00:58:22,079 have to bring that back here because there's probably which is all over where I'm 845 00:58:22,119 --> 00:58:25,599 fucking from. Oh, I mean, like witch trials. It's interesting to 846 00:58:25,719 --> 00:58:30,400 hear that in a micro level, it's a social contagion, like within a 847 00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:34,239 community, but it's a global one too. The macros. It's it's because 848 00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:40,360 some this all happened basically because some archbishop in Germany wanted to make a name 849 00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:45,280 for himself and then some really shitty employee government worker. I mean he was 850 00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:51,400 a high ranking guy, but some really shitty bureaucrat didn't want to take the 851 00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:53,960 blame. Yeah, take the blame for being shitty. So people women in 852 00:58:54,039 --> 00:58:58,519 Sco, men in Scotland died. Dude, think about this. You ever 853 00:58:58,559 --> 00:59:02,519 built something you ever done such a bad job. People across the world think 854 00:59:02,519 --> 00:59:07,360 about that. That's crazy. That is that is heavy as the head. 855 00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:10,760 Yeah, like yeah, when you have that kind of like processor, like 856 00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:14,360 that kind of downstream effect. Yes, that is a heavy head to wear 857 00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:17,519 or heavy crown to wear. But it all just happened. These witch trials 858 00:59:17,639 --> 00:59:22,360 had really just happened because there were other witch trials in the news. That's 859 00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:28,159 crazy. So like one minute, you know, you're just trying to find 860 00:59:28,159 --> 00:59:30,639 a wife. The next minute you're like, I gotta put some I gotta 861 00:59:30,719 --> 00:59:36,440 fucking burn this guy alive and beat this woman until she tells me all her 862 00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:37,760 friends are witches. Woman, you're trying to find a wife. Next minute 863 00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:40,440 you're trying to convince people that the wife he just found isn't a fucking witch 864 00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:44,119 and shouldn't be burned alive. Yeah, that's a nightmare. Like can you 865 00:59:44,199 --> 00:59:45,519 imagine, dude, Oh my fucking god, if people just showed up at 866 00:59:45,559 --> 00:59:49,280 your door like, hey, your wife's witch. Yeah, someone told us, 867 00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:52,920 so, oh you don't want her to get ticken or are you a 868 00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:54,440 witch? I was like, you won't be a witch. That's why they're 869 00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:58,199 just like, oh no, it's probably her spell. Oh God, now 870 00:59:58,239 --> 01:00:00,599 that you're here, it's I'm getting faked the witch. Sorry, babe, 871 01:00:00,719 --> 01:00:04,599 the opposite. Now you tried to find a wife out there, they're all 872 01:00:04,639 --> 01:00:07,559 witches, and they're all witches. It's crazy, especially in Louston, what 873 01:00:08,079 --> 01:00:12,519 especially in Austin, especially here. Uh. That's all I got for today. 874 01:00:12,519 --> 01:00:16,360 What you guys learn. I mean that a guy what you just said 875 01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:20,000 that a guy was so bad at his job a bunch of people in Scotland 876 01:00:20,079 --> 01:00:24,079 died. Like that's crazy, poor people. Or he was that good at 877 01:00:24,119 --> 01:00:27,960 his job. I mean he was good at the bureaucracy part of it, 878 01:00:28,039 --> 01:00:31,239 that's for certain. If his if in his mind his job was to keep 879 01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:35,239 his job, he's great at his job. I think that is the sole 880 01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:37,719 job of bureaucrats. Yeah, jobs, to keep your job. Yeah, 881 01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:40,840 the job is to keep the job out jobs for your job. Yeah. 882 01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:45,519 So he was awesome at his job. Yeah. And that's why I think 883 01:00:45,559 --> 01:00:49,559 we need to eliminate ninety five percent of jobs out there. It's a good, 884 01:00:49,639 --> 01:00:54,280 good economic practice. Yeah, useless waste of money. I like that. 885 01:00:54,360 --> 01:01:00,199 People need to understand the grind, They need to understand the world of 886 01:01:00,239 --> 01:01:01,840 a dollar. Yeah. I love I love CEOs. I think they can 887 01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:06,519 do everything better than their employees. As a man speaking into a microphone, 888 01:01:06,599 --> 01:01:08,679 right now, right, you need to lose your job. There are a 889 01:01:08,719 --> 01:01:13,599 lot of CEOs who for some reason don't understand that they shouldn't have play calling 890 01:01:13,679 --> 01:01:16,000 duties. Yeah, dude, just go play, just go coach, right, 891 01:01:16,159 --> 01:01:21,360 like you don't that is to roll over the roster. Yeah, when 892 01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:23,800 a CEO, Yeah, it's like a general manager or something like. Yeah, 893 01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:27,920 it's just you gotta to stay in your lane. You handle your level, 894 01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:30,039 right, You make sure everything's good on your level, your tier of 895 01:01:30,599 --> 01:01:35,360 things. You have people under you that report the ground stuff up to you. 896 01:01:35,679 --> 01:01:38,360 Too many Chip Kelly's out there control. Yeah, it doesn't work. 897 01:01:39,840 --> 01:01:45,000 Uh. Who's today's hitler? I think there's a couple of good candidates. 898 01:01:45,039 --> 01:01:46,679 There's a ton of them in this one. The girl that just kept healing, 899 01:01:49,079 --> 01:01:54,679 Yeah her, I mean you gotta think it's anyone that was having fun 900 01:01:54,719 --> 01:02:00,480 torturing certainly, Yeah, not like you know, one of them had to 901 01:02:00,519 --> 01:02:01,960 be like there's no fucking such thing as which is. But I'm loving this 902 01:02:02,079 --> 01:02:07,039 part right Yeah, Like I'm not here to ask questions. I'm just here 903 01:02:07,119 --> 01:02:10,159 to screw the screws. Yeah, like, I don't nothing personal. Yeah, 904 01:02:10,239 --> 01:02:13,360 it's just my job. If I don't do this, they're gonna call 905 01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:16,519 me a witch. Yeah, it's so sorry. Scream real well, just 906 01:02:16,559 --> 01:02:22,199 scream. Hey you got friends, You got friends? Start shouting their names. 907 01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:24,440 Yeah, just in the sense. You know who's hitler today? Self 908 01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:32,039 preservation Actually kind of not wrong. That's the instinct to live is the hitler 909 01:02:32,119 --> 01:02:37,360 today. The instinct to not feel the worst pain you ever felt in your 910 01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:39,840 life. Yeah, giving up on your morals it makes you wonder, like 911 01:02:39,880 --> 01:02:44,760 and your principles. Yeah, that's pretty shitty. They believe in nothing, 912 01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:47,039 so they fall for. How much pain do you have to be in to 913 01:02:47,079 --> 01:02:51,679 pass out from pain? It depends on the person, I imagine, but 914 01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:52,960 they what they I guarantee what they do is they're like, all right, 915 01:02:53,039 --> 01:02:55,039 just passed out, Get a bucket of water, give it, give it, 916 01:02:55,159 --> 01:02:58,920 take five, everybody, take a breather. And you're getting tired from 917 01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:02,000 torture. Yeah, it's all take a break downs with water, turn it 918 01:03:02,079 --> 01:03:07,840 back on and we'll go again. Yeah, back to one fucking nightmare. 919 01:03:07,960 --> 01:03:10,840 Just wake up cold and like your your pass up from the worst pain you've 920 01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:15,519 ever experienced. You wake up. Now you're just wet and cold, still 921 01:03:15,559 --> 01:03:19,960 in pain, more pain, more pains coming. Honestly, that fucking I 922 01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:23,639 don't know if he's my hitler, but that beer crack whatever his name, 923 01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:30,880 Vikender Vallecander, he just cracked me up. He just with like a vulcandorf, 924 01:03:31,119 --> 01:03:35,599 just like no man. I swear to god it was witches. Stan 925 01:03:35,719 --> 01:03:42,800 Marsh, Randy Marsh move if I've ever heard. Yeah, and that'll wrap 926 01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:45,880 up Halloween whr nights. We had a good time. We did. Uh. 927 01:03:46,239 --> 01:03:51,280 I think the set's gonna remain though, it like this because it's just 928 01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:55,440 skeletons and cobwebs. Very historic. It is. History is a letter of 929 01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:59,960 bones dragons. Are we bringing it back? Dragons? Well, I am 930 01:04:00,039 --> 01:04:04,920 in the dragon. Oh that's right. I'm the French bulldog and the Boston 931 01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:08,719 Terrier who does some dogs different things for this set, but are weird to 932 01:04:08,800 --> 01:04:12,719 me. I'm okay with it. I like it as is. We can 933 01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:15,719 we can fudge around with it whatever. But yeah, for Damna Chester and 934 01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:17,679 Jake Goldman, I am Rob Fox. You just gotta saw served