WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:05.080 Welcome back to the Black Girl Experience. I'm your host, Jasmine Dang. 2 00:00:05.240 --> 00:00:21.199 Yeah. What's up, y'all? What's up? I miss y'all so much. 3 00:00:22.399 --> 00:00:26.359 Ear hooks to all of my listeners, to all my followers, to 4 00:00:26.480 --> 00:00:32.880 all my supporters. I miss y'allum, and I'm happy to be here. 5 00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:35.280 Like, I didn't even think that I was gonna come on here and here 6 00:00:35.320 --> 00:00:39.600 record today at all. I had no idea that I was gonna come on 7 00:00:39.640 --> 00:00:45.159 here and record an episode. It's the middle of the evening or it's damn 8 00:00:45.200 --> 00:00:53.280 near nighttime, miss eight o'clock, but something in me just made me want 9 00:00:53.280 --> 00:00:58.600 to hop on here. So I was actually on my phone and I was 10 00:00:58.679 --> 00:01:03.719 looking at the Anchor app, which is not even Anchor anymore. They updated 11 00:01:03.759 --> 00:01:07.680 the Anchor app and you know that like partner with Spotify, so not an 12 00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:11.120 app just say podcasters. But I don't use Anchor anymore because I record on 13 00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:17.560 a different platform. Um but anyway, I was on an Anchor app and 14 00:01:18.040 --> 00:01:23.640 I was just scrolling through just looking at like, um my my numbers, 15 00:01:23.879 --> 00:01:29.280 you know, my overall plays and just the episodes on there. Just just 16 00:01:29.400 --> 00:01:36.319 a little moment of nostalgia and um, I came across when I posted the 17 00:01:36.439 --> 00:01:40.760 video, like the YouTube video that I recorded when I was in California, 18 00:01:40.799 --> 00:01:44.280 and I clicked on it and I ain't watched the whole video. First of 19 00:01:44.280 --> 00:01:47.200 all, it was just kind of like uh, because I was looking at 20 00:01:47.239 --> 00:01:51.680 myself and and this, this is this is the the harsh critic in me. 21 00:01:51.799 --> 00:01:55.159 I looked at the video. I was like I was, I was, 22 00:01:57.359 --> 00:01:59.799 I'm smaller now, But to me on the video, I was like 23 00:01:59.840 --> 00:02:05.000 I was big as fuck, Like bitch was looking a little blue up face 24 00:02:05.159 --> 00:02:10.319 was looking swallow, titties was popping off THEMN shirt. Um, it's all 25 00:02:10.400 --> 00:02:14.280 funny how you can see the difference, like when you see like old pictures 26 00:02:14.360 --> 00:02:16.439 or videos of yourself, Like yeah, I mean, I'm still not where 27 00:02:16.439 --> 00:02:19.560 I want to be now, but I wasn't at that, Like damn, 28 00:02:19.680 --> 00:02:25.840 baby girl was a little swallowed. It was giving unbigio back now. But 29 00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:35.400 yeah, but I liked I loved that video though, Like first of all, 30 00:02:35.439 --> 00:02:38.159 I loved where I shot it at, where I recorded it at, 31 00:02:38.240 --> 00:02:44.439 like, um, it was just very high quality. Um, they were 32 00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:49.479 super professional, Like I like that, and that that's what That's what made 33 00:02:49.479 --> 00:02:52.520 me hop on here. That's what gave me the inspiration to even come on 34 00:02:52.599 --> 00:02:55.240 here because I really want to get back in my content bag. I want 35 00:02:55.240 --> 00:03:00.759 to get back in my content creation bag. I really need to. I've 36 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:05.479 never really been super consistent on YouTube. Like I've had my moments where I've 37 00:03:05.479 --> 00:03:09.080 recorded my little videos and I post them and then I delete them either like 38 00:03:09.159 --> 00:03:12.560 the videos when I used to be at the crept. And that's the thing. 39 00:03:13.120 --> 00:03:16.000 I'm an old Chris Brown asking, you know Chris Brown been deleting his 40 00:03:16.039 --> 00:03:19.800 Twitter and all that. That's me. I always be deleting the shit. 41 00:03:20.039 --> 00:03:23.039 And I just think about, imagine if I would have kept all the videos 42 00:03:23.039 --> 00:03:27.080 that I ever recorded on YouTube. But I'm talking about the home videos, 43 00:03:27.639 --> 00:03:32.560 the videos when I used to be in the studio recording them, the video 44 00:03:32.800 --> 00:03:36.240 from then, Like you know what I'm saying, just to look at the 45 00:03:36.319 --> 00:03:42.759 progress and just to also take me back to that mindspace and be able to 46 00:03:42.800 --> 00:03:46.199 fuel that creativity in me. But you know, I always be deleting shit. 47 00:03:46.280 --> 00:03:49.879 But it's cool whatever. Like I have I still have ideas in a 48 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:52.680 vision for where I want to go with the ship, but just kind of 49 00:03:52.680 --> 00:03:55.719 clicking on that and watching it for that high second kind of just like fuel 50 00:03:55.800 --> 00:04:00.719 to fire in me. It kind of inspired me, and it just made 51 00:04:00.759 --> 00:04:02.199 me think, like one thing that I do want to do. First of 52 00:04:02.199 --> 00:04:10.360 all, I do want to go back to Cali fucking asap. And I 53 00:04:10.400 --> 00:04:14.919 do want to link up with my fave y'all already know, And we had 54 00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:17.480 planned to do this even when I was living there. Me and Panda wanted 55 00:04:17.560 --> 00:04:23.120 to record a podcast episode, and we just need to record an episode, 56 00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:29.079 period, because like me and her would be a dope collaboration together, just 57 00:04:29.120 --> 00:04:33.560 like on a friendship podcast or whatever. But like me and her really be 58 00:04:33.639 --> 00:04:39.639 having some really great conversations, Like I damn near talk to her every fucking 59 00:04:39.720 --> 00:04:44.920 day and I'm not gonna lie. She really pulled me up out of a 60 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:53.720 funk maybe like two days ago for real, like and I even said this 61 00:04:53.800 --> 00:04:56.279 to somebody. I think it was yesterday, and I was like, I 62 00:04:56.319 --> 00:05:01.920 ain't gonna lie. I feel like I'm depressed, like not like a I 63 00:05:01.959 --> 00:05:05.480 don't know, And I hate saying that. I don't know why. I 64 00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:10.600 don't know. I don't know why I have the shame around saying that, 65 00:05:10.639 --> 00:05:14.160 but because I don't be wanting people to think that I'm not okay. But 66 00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:19.199 again that's that strong black woman always got to keep it together, you know 67 00:05:19.360 --> 00:05:21.959 up front that we put up for the world. But I just I just 68 00:05:21.959 --> 00:05:27.240 don't be wanting people to think like I'm, you know, at my wits 69 00:05:27.319 --> 00:05:30.000 end and I'm gonna off myself or some shit like that, Like I don't 70 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:33.639 want to like because I'm gonna be okay, Like you know, I'm gonna 71 00:05:33.680 --> 00:05:36.759 be okay. But I was telling somebody, I was like, yeah, 72 00:05:36.920 --> 00:05:42.959 like I feel like I'm a high functioning depressed person, you know what I'm 73 00:05:42.959 --> 00:05:45.759 saying, Like I've really been in a funk. I've really been in this 74 00:05:46.560 --> 00:05:50.639 like just low vibration, this low space and you know. And I had 75 00:05:50.639 --> 00:05:55.040 another conversation with somebody else and it was like, yo, chakras are blocked. 76 00:05:55.759 --> 00:06:00.360 And they told me, like, your root chakra is blocked, heart 77 00:06:00.439 --> 00:06:02.879 chakra is overactive. And I had an attitude when they was telling me this, 78 00:06:03.079 --> 00:06:10.439 but only because I knew that it was true. They was like, 79 00:06:10.560 --> 00:06:14.720 baby girl, you don't even you ain't even pass the throat, like you 80 00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:17.160 you're not even really passed the heart real talk, don't even act like you 81 00:06:17.279 --> 00:06:21.000 at the crown. And I was like, Wow, this person is really 82 00:06:21.240 --> 00:06:26.600 reading me for fiilth right now, and um, I did. I had 83 00:06:26.600 --> 00:06:31.800 an attitude about it and it was it also, Um it just really made 84 00:06:31.839 --> 00:06:39.079 me realize that the truth does hurt. The truth does hurt, you know 85 00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:41.560 what I'm saying. I did have an attitude, but I wasn't telling that 86 00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:44.040 person like no, it ain't. You know what I'm saying, Like I 87 00:06:44.079 --> 00:06:46.279 agree, And I told him, I'm like, you're right, you know 88 00:06:46.319 --> 00:06:50.279 what I'm saying. And it just it don't It don't feel good. The 89 00:06:50.319 --> 00:06:54.759 truth don't feel good. I ain't gonna lie to truth hurt, you know 90 00:06:54.759 --> 00:07:00.680 what I'm saying. And it's it makes you self reflected, makes you take 91 00:07:00.720 --> 00:07:03.879 accountability, It makes you want to sit down and be like, hey, 92 00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:06.279 I really got to pull it together. And I've been having a lot of 93 00:07:06.319 --> 00:07:12.519 conversations these past couple of days where where I was just self reflecting, like 94 00:07:12.600 --> 00:07:15.000 damn, I really gotta get my shit together. I really gotta get a 95 00:07:15.040 --> 00:07:20.040 plan. I know why I feel stagnant. I know why the energy in 96 00:07:20.120 --> 00:07:24.560 my life feels stagnant. I know why I feel stagnant. I know why 97 00:07:24.600 --> 00:07:27.399 I feel stuck. I know why I feel like I'm in a rut. 98 00:07:27.839 --> 00:07:30.399 I know why I feel like I'm in this low energy, this low vibration, 99 00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:32.800 and like you know what I'm saying, I do. I have a 100 00:07:32.800 --> 00:07:38.680 lot going on. And another thing is I really really have a bad problem 101 00:07:38.720 --> 00:07:44.319 of internalizing my problems and my emotions and my thoughts. Last night, I 102 00:07:44.360 --> 00:07:48.759 was having a panic attack. I felt like I was gonna die. And 103 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:54.639 that's something that I was experiencing back when when I had my when I fainted 104 00:07:54.680 --> 00:07:58.279 and shit like that, and I was just not feeling very well. I 105 00:07:58.399 --> 00:08:03.079 was, I was going through the motions and that ship that I was experiencing 106 00:08:03.399 --> 00:08:07.920 was panic attacks, and I was feeling like that last night. And it's 107 00:08:07.959 --> 00:08:16.680 because that's how and that's how you know how powerful the fucking mind is, 108 00:08:16.920 --> 00:08:24.519 because whatever you think about you are going to expound on. You know what 109 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:28.439 I'm saying. Whatever you focus on, you put all of your energy into 110 00:08:28.480 --> 00:08:33.320 that and you create more of that and manifesting your life. So with me 111 00:08:33.480 --> 00:08:35.600 thinking all of this negative shit and all this what if and what if, 112 00:08:35.639 --> 00:08:39.399 and like you know, I have a lot going on, and I'm trying 113 00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:43.639 to figure a lot of shit out and I'm more one thing that I've always 114 00:08:43.639 --> 00:08:46.600 known about myself, and I think this is something that was subconsciously programmed in 115 00:08:46.679 --> 00:08:50.080 my mind. I will never forget this. When I was in middle school, 116 00:08:52.919 --> 00:08:56.399 my dad, I don't even know who bought it for us. At 117 00:08:56.399 --> 00:08:58.840 the time, my dad was married and I had a step sister who was 118 00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:01.879 two years older than me. Somebody bought us like these gifts, maybe for 119 00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:07.960 Christmas. And it was like our name and it was it was this ship 120 00:09:09.080 --> 00:09:13.120 that got framed. It was our name, our zodiac sign and like the 121 00:09:13.200 --> 00:09:16.879 characteristics of our zodiac sign and all of that. And I remember it said 122 00:09:16.919 --> 00:09:20.480 all this shit about pisces, and pisces are pessimists. They are we can 123 00:09:20.600 --> 00:09:24.919 be, we are, we are pessimists, we are the victim, we 124 00:09:24.960 --> 00:09:26.840 are all of that. You know what I'm saying, You know, the 125 00:09:26.919 --> 00:09:31.200 unhealthy trace of the Pisces. And I remember that back in the day, 126 00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:37.279 back then, it said that that I was very pessimistic. And I remember 127 00:09:37.360 --> 00:09:39.200 back then, I didn't know what pessimistic meant. I didn't know what it 128 00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:43.000 meant. And I don't know if that was something that was subconsciously programmed in 129 00:09:43.080 --> 00:09:48.879 me because I read it. And then you know, as time goes on, 130 00:09:48.039 --> 00:09:50.799 you grew up and you learn what the fucking mean. But I am 131 00:09:50.840 --> 00:09:54.279 a pessimist. I am a person that sees the glasses half empty and not 132 00:09:54.399 --> 00:09:58.240 half full. I've always been that way. I've always been that way, 133 00:10:00.279 --> 00:10:01.399 you know what I'm saying. And I'm not gonna lie. I tend to 134 00:10:01.399 --> 00:10:05.519 focus more on the negative than the positive. And that's something that I'm actively 135 00:10:05.559 --> 00:10:11.120 trying to change and that I recognize in myself. And so last night, 136 00:10:11.159 --> 00:10:13.919 again, like I said, I've just been I've been going through a lot. 137 00:10:13.960 --> 00:10:18.679 I've been thinking about a lot, and you know, I'm just gathering 138 00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:24.799 my my thoughts and my ideas and my plans for myself, and I'm trying 139 00:10:24.840 --> 00:10:28.240 to figure out what where am I putting my eggs? Am I putting these 140 00:10:28.279 --> 00:10:31.840 bitches in one basket? Am I getting a bunch of baskets and putting my 141 00:10:31.919 --> 00:10:35.519 eggs in there? Am I just going fucking take a run for it? 142 00:10:35.600 --> 00:10:39.960 Like, I have a lot going on, and it's it's a lot weighing 143 00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:43.720 on me. It's a lot to consider, it's a lot to think about. 144 00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:48.120 You know, I got real big life shit going on, and I'm 145 00:10:48.159 --> 00:10:52.360 just trying to figure out how I want to go about it. Another thing 146 00:10:52.519 --> 00:10:56.879 is I'm thinking about what the world is gonna say, what the world is 147 00:10:56.879 --> 00:11:01.799 gonna think, which when in actuality of that shit fucking matters. It doesn't 148 00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:05.159 matter, but it does matter to me. You know what I'm saying, 149 00:11:05.200 --> 00:11:09.480 and I feel like, honestly, I feel like it matters to everybody. 150 00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:13.840 You are lying, ass motherfucker if you think or if you say that you 151 00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:18.039 don't care about what people say or what people think, because niggas do people? 152 00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:22.200 Do you care? You know what I'm saying, You fucking care, 153 00:11:22.440 --> 00:11:26.600 don't lie? And me, I'm a career period, I'm a carreer. 154 00:11:26.679 --> 00:11:30.840 I'm a care bearer. Nigga, I care period. I'm emotional as fuck. 155 00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:33.559 I'm a pisces. Like I care, I feel you know what I'm 156 00:11:33.559 --> 00:11:37.600 saying, So I do care. I mean, I don't care, but 157 00:11:37.639 --> 00:11:39.919 I do care in the same breath. So and I'm just trying to get 158 00:11:39.960 --> 00:11:43.120 over there, like niggas is gonna talk regardless, people are gonna judge you 159 00:11:43.159 --> 00:11:48.159 people. You know what I'm saying, Who gives a fuck? And my 160 00:11:48.279 --> 00:11:50.759 thing is, niggas shouldn't even care about what the fuck I'm doing or what 161 00:11:50.799 --> 00:11:54.480 I got going on. You should be focused on your own fucking life. 162 00:11:54.519 --> 00:11:56.039 You know what I'm saying. And as much as people claim that they don't 163 00:11:56.080 --> 00:12:00.320 care about me and what I got going on, why the fuck, Why 164 00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:03.039 the fuck would you even comment or care to comment or you know what I'm 165 00:12:03.080 --> 00:12:05.519 saying. And you know, but that comes with life, It comes with 166 00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:09.919 the territory. It's gonna come with the path that I'm on. That niggas 167 00:12:09.039 --> 00:12:15.039 is gonna have shit to say. And that's why you gotta be secure within 168 00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:18.679 yourself. You have to be rooted, you have to be grounded, you 169 00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:22.519 have to know who you are. You can't give a fuck what nigga's got 170 00:12:22.519 --> 00:12:24.879 to say about you, because they're gonna talk regardless. Nigga's gonna talk if 171 00:12:24.919 --> 00:12:28.919 you're doing good, they're gonna talk if you're doing bad. So just do 172 00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:35.919 you period. So Yeah, I've been having a lot of conversations this week, 173 00:12:37.039 --> 00:12:41.000 and I've been noticing, like I really just don't want no bullshit in 174 00:12:41.039 --> 00:12:43.279 my fucking life. I don't want to bullshit in my life. I don't 175 00:12:43.279 --> 00:12:46.120 want to bullshit ass people in my life. I don't want to know fake 176 00:12:46.159 --> 00:12:48.519 people in my life. I don't want know phony people in my life. 177 00:12:48.639 --> 00:12:50.759 I just I don't I damn near don't even really want to share what the 178 00:12:50.759 --> 00:12:54.759 fuck I got going on in my personal life with people, you know what 179 00:12:54.799 --> 00:12:56.399 I'm saying, because number one, I don't want to be judged and I 180 00:12:56.480 --> 00:13:00.799 just don't want to hear. I just don't give a fuck about Nigga's opinions 181 00:13:01.240 --> 00:13:03.799 because I'm moving how I want to move, and I'm doing what I want 182 00:13:03.799 --> 00:13:07.360 to do and however I feel, it's what the fuck I'm going with. 183 00:13:07.759 --> 00:13:11.120 And one thing that I will say is that you gotta have people around you 184 00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:16.159 that support you and are going to be there for you, to have your 185 00:13:16.200 --> 00:13:20.840 back and be honest with you, but not enable you. You know what 186 00:13:20.879 --> 00:13:24.159 I'm saying. I don't want nobody that's gonna be with the fuck shit like, 187 00:13:24.200 --> 00:13:26.879 oh, you know, just letting me do whatever. But one thing 188 00:13:26.919 --> 00:13:30.600 that I do respect about my homegirl Panda, is that she'd like, girl, 189 00:13:30.679 --> 00:13:31.840 I'm with you regardless, you know what I'm saying, and I'm not 190 00:13:31.879 --> 00:13:35.879 gonna judge you on whatever you want to do. And one thing that I've 191 00:13:35.879 --> 00:13:41.360 been doing myself is like really trying not to judge other people, especially in 192 00:13:41.399 --> 00:13:48.799 their romantic relationships, because that's your fucking relationship that's your situation. You're gonna 193 00:13:48.799 --> 00:13:50.679 do what you want to do, nigga, because I'm gonna do what I 194 00:13:50.759 --> 00:13:52.519 want to do in mind, you know what I'm saying. And I don't 195 00:13:52.559 --> 00:13:58.440 have the cookie cutter, picture perfect relationship, you know what I'm saying, 196 00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:03.559 So nigga, don't judge me. And that's another another reason why I'm just 197 00:14:03.639 --> 00:14:07.240 not oversharing with people because my shit is not regular at all. You know 198 00:14:07.240 --> 00:14:13.080 what I'm saying. The way that me and my man is game together, 199 00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:16.159 it is not regular. Our situation not regular. The shit that we want 200 00:14:16.159 --> 00:14:20.679 to do in life is not regular. So it's it's gonna be judged, 201 00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:22.960 it's gonna be talked about, and at the end of the day, I 202 00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:26.639 can't care about that. But I just know how I want to move in 203 00:14:26.679 --> 00:14:33.000 my situation. What else, what else? What else? But what I 204 00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:37.080 was saying, what I was saying was that, yeah, I do want 205 00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:41.679 to go back to Cali because me and Panda do need to collab and do 206 00:14:41.039 --> 00:14:43.519 an episode, like I really want to do an episode with her, but 207 00:14:43.600 --> 00:14:48.279 just period, I want to get back into my content creation. Shout out 208 00:14:48.320 --> 00:14:56.360 to Organically Authentic um. His juices are bombs. Fuck he make like I 209 00:14:56.440 --> 00:15:00.440 don't don't let me get to line, but I think I right. One 210 00:15:00.440 --> 00:15:05.399 of his juices that he made it was like a strawberry hibiscus lemonade some like 211 00:15:05.480 --> 00:15:09.799 all natural type shit. It was very very good. I need to get 212 00:15:09.799 --> 00:15:13.159 some more from him. But um, he also is into podcasting. It 213 00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:16.559 has his own podcasts and he like filmed his ship. He's been going crazy 214 00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:20.679 with the editing on his own ship. And that's really what I need because 215 00:15:20.679 --> 00:15:24.440 I don't got time, Like I'm really a record and drop ask nigga. 216 00:15:24.480 --> 00:15:28.200 You know what I'm saying. If I record something, especially video, like, 217 00:15:28.240 --> 00:15:30.759 I don't know how to do video editing or nothing like that, and 218 00:15:30.879 --> 00:15:33.759 that might be something that I really need to learn how to do, especially 219 00:15:33.759 --> 00:15:37.720 with the lane that or you know where I'm going with my show. I 220 00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:39.559 don't know if my nigga know how to do like I don't know if he 221 00:15:39.840 --> 00:15:43.080 for real know how to edit videos. But that's that's gonna be a thing. 222 00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:48.720 But I need to link with organically authentic self a show and start getting 223 00:15:48.720 --> 00:15:52.279 some YouTube videos off of the podcast in the end. That's another thing. 224 00:15:52.320 --> 00:15:54.440 The other day I was thinking about, I'm like, you know, I'll 225 00:15:54.480 --> 00:15:58.440 be making, um, I'll be making little yoga reels or whatever on Instagram. 226 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:03.480 But I need to do like a full flow and start making YouTube yoga 227 00:16:03.559 --> 00:16:06.600 videos and posting a bitches. So I just really got to get in my 228 00:16:06.639 --> 00:16:08.759 bag. But again, I just I think one thing that holds me back 229 00:16:08.840 --> 00:16:11.200 is that I'm not in the space that I want to be in right now. 230 00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:15.639 I'm not in the space where I, you know, where I really 231 00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:18.919 want to record a video. Like, I got a vision that I see 232 00:16:18.960 --> 00:16:22.360 for myself, and I got a certain way that I want shit to be 233 00:16:22.399 --> 00:16:25.919 done. But Nikki, you gotta do what you can with where you are. 234 00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:30.360 So that's the thing. What else was I about to say? I 235 00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:37.120 had actually came on here and recorded an episode. It was a few days 236 00:16:37.159 --> 00:16:44.399 ago, and I had recorded maybe about thirty forty minutes of an episode, 237 00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:48.639 and I stopped it because I just I wasn't really feeling it. Like everything 238 00:16:48.679 --> 00:16:55.759 that I was saying was some real as shit, but I just I didn't 239 00:16:55.799 --> 00:16:57.080 want to post it. And when I was talking about it, I was 240 00:16:57.159 --> 00:17:02.440 kind of talking in circles and kind of going around, you know, just 241 00:17:02.519 --> 00:17:04.319 kind of beating around a bush about a certain thing. Because I didn't really 242 00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:07.799 want to share everything that I was talking about, and I hadn't talked to 243 00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:15.160 the person that I had the issue with about it, and I'm like, 244 00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:18.160 I just I don't know, I just didn't want to upload it. And 245 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:22.000 then I end up having a conversation with the person and you know, it 246 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:23.279 blew up for a second, but then it blew over, you know, 247 00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:30.240 as always, but it was just whatever. But whatever. Here I am 248 00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:33.759 today recording, so you know, yeah, I just have a lot that 249 00:17:33.880 --> 00:17:41.079 I I need to do and I want to do. But yeah, oh 250 00:17:41.160 --> 00:17:44.359 that was what I was saying. I don't know if I finished talking about 251 00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:47.920 that when I talked to Panda the other day, Like she just put me 252 00:17:47.960 --> 00:17:51.359 in a really good space, in a good headspace, Like we just had 253 00:17:51.400 --> 00:17:56.160 a really good conversation. And oh, that's one thing I was thinking before 254 00:17:56.160 --> 00:17:59.720 I came on here, like I ain't gonna lie. I'll be having to 255 00:17:59.720 --> 00:18:03.079 give my people they flowers for real, like for real, And you need 256 00:18:03.119 --> 00:18:06.720 to do that in your life, whoever you need to get your flowers to 257 00:18:07.720 --> 00:18:11.400 give them to them, to do today. Call your friends, call your 258 00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:15.119 homies, whoever, tell them you love them, you appreciate them. I'm 259 00:18:15.160 --> 00:18:18.880 talking about your real ass friends, not them fake. I don't know. 260 00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:21.440 I hope y'all niggas don't got fake friends. But a lot of people got 261 00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:23.279 fake ass friends out here that you know, Oh, we just go party, 262 00:18:23.440 --> 00:18:26.640 or we go on trips, or we just do this, or we 263 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:32.279 just take pictures for the GRAM or niggas that's not really their friends. You 264 00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:34.519 got to really have people that are there for you, that support you, 265 00:18:34.640 --> 00:18:44.039 that uplift you, that pour into you, that you know that can be 266 00:18:44.240 --> 00:18:49.440 there for you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, financially, whatever. You know 267 00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:55.559 what I'm saying, Like, people that's really there for you, people that 268 00:18:55.720 --> 00:19:00.440 really see you for who you truly are and are supportive of that. You 269 00:19:00.440 --> 00:19:04.240 know what I'm saying, because I feel like, um, you know, 270 00:19:04.559 --> 00:19:07.359 i'd be feeling like a lot of people. You might you might have people 271 00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:11.079 in your life or feel like you got friends, and them niggas don't even 272 00:19:11.160 --> 00:19:12.759 really see you or know you for who you truly are. You know what 273 00:19:12.839 --> 00:19:18.319 I'm saying, And it's how I know. Um example, So with Panda 274 00:19:18.559 --> 00:19:22.480 like she brought this up recently. I don't know why we brought this up. 275 00:19:22.920 --> 00:19:26.720 Oh, I think maybe we were talking about how like I haven't really 276 00:19:26.720 --> 00:19:32.960 been recording and stuff like that, and we had a conversation about like the 277 00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:36.400 whole job thing with me. She was like, anytime that you like, 278 00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:41.400 you know, like I'm not like I'm not feeling like myself, or I 279 00:19:41.400 --> 00:19:45.680 get in those weird places I don't be recording or you know what I'm saying, 280 00:19:45.720 --> 00:19:48.559 or if I'm working a job that I hate or whatever I get in, 281 00:19:48.759 --> 00:19:52.200 I get in those spaces and I'm just not me. I'm not creative, 282 00:19:52.319 --> 00:19:56.720 I'm not creating. I'm not you know what I'm saying. But you 283 00:19:56.759 --> 00:19:59.559 could tell when I'm in my bag and when I'm on my ship and when 284 00:19:59.559 --> 00:20:03.640 I'm doing something that I love because I flourish and I thrive. And so 285 00:20:03.279 --> 00:20:07.119 that's what I mean, Like she knows that about me. You know what 286 00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:12.000 I'm saying. She sees me for who I am. It's people in my 287 00:20:12.119 --> 00:20:15.839 life that don't see me for who I am. Don't support this, and 288 00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:19.400 not that you have to support the podcast or anything like that, but just 289 00:20:19.559 --> 00:20:22.839 don't know me as a person. You know what I'm saying. My own 290 00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:26.960 family members that want me to live a certain type of lifestyle or just work 291 00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:33.400 a regular job and just don't even understand the unhappiness or the depression or you 292 00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:37.599 know, the ship that comes behind that, because that's not who I am, 293 00:20:37.920 --> 00:20:41.160 you know what I'm saying again, just not seeing me for who I 294 00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:44.880 am. So it's very important to have people that see you for who you 295 00:20:44.920 --> 00:20:47.920 are. And another thing that I was thinking about before I came on here 296 00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:53.440 was between her and my man. It's like, you know, they say 297 00:20:53.480 --> 00:20:56.599 that you shouldn't be the smartest person in the room, or you shouldn't be 298 00:20:57.640 --> 00:21:03.880 whatever. You shouldn't be the you know, the best person out of all 299 00:21:03.920 --> 00:21:06.960 your friends, the smartest, the most paid, whatever. It is like 300 00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:10.160 you you need to be in a different room, or you need to you 301 00:21:10.160 --> 00:21:11.400 know what I'm saying, or you need to find you a new group of 302 00:21:11.440 --> 00:21:18.519 friends. Between her and my man, that's how I feel like. I 303 00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:22.880 feel like I'll be feeling like they both are light years ahead of me, 304 00:21:22.359 --> 00:21:29.039 like just with the wisdom and spiritually and that Like I love that because they'd 305 00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:32.039 be putting me onto some shit and they really be talking that ship to me, 306 00:21:32.079 --> 00:21:34.000 and I'd be like, I'm so grateful to have people like that around 307 00:21:34.039 --> 00:21:38.759 me because a lot of times I feel like, you know, when I 308 00:21:38.759 --> 00:21:41.119 have people around me, I'll be feeling like I gotta bring them up to 309 00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:45.559 my level or you know what I'm saying. I don't want to necessarily say 310 00:21:45.559 --> 00:21:48.799 with friends, but definitely with niggas. I've always felt like I got to 311 00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:52.160 bring niggas up to my level. But with those two, I just really 312 00:21:52.160 --> 00:21:56.960 feel like they really teach me a lot and really, you know, and 313 00:21:56.039 --> 00:21:59.519 like I said, i'd just be feeling like they light years ahead of me. 314 00:21:59.559 --> 00:22:03.680 So I really to appreciate that about them and a presence in my life. 315 00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:07.680 M You know another thing that I was told other day, like I 316 00:22:07.720 --> 00:22:10.680 need to be reading more. And somebody was telling me like, you got 317 00:22:10.759 --> 00:22:12.680 all these books and you don't even be a you don't even be applying and 318 00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:17.839 stuff to your life. I just I gave somebody. I bought somebody a 319 00:22:17.880 --> 00:22:21.480 book and they like, man, you don't when the last time you read 320 00:22:21.519 --> 00:22:23.559 this book, because you're you don't you don't apply this to your life, 321 00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:26.519 you do? You know what I'm saying. They'd be telling me shit about 322 00:22:26.519 --> 00:22:29.000 the book every day and I'm like, I do need to read it. 323 00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:33.039 But that's something that I said on here before I got a fucking I got 324 00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:38.000 tubs of fucking books untouched, unread, you know what I'm saying, just 325 00:22:38.680 --> 00:22:44.400 skimmed through. Like, but then I'll be sitting around all day and be 326 00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:45.480 like, oh, well, I was just chilling today. It was a 327 00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:48.599 chill day. Like, nigga, you ain't even pick up a fucking book. 328 00:22:48.640 --> 00:22:52.119 You ain't read a fucking page, you know what I'm saying. So 329 00:22:53.400 --> 00:22:57.960 it just be shit like that. But again, um, it's also okay 330 00:22:59.039 --> 00:23:03.599 to just be. It's okay to just sit in solitude. It's okay to 331 00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:07.599 not do nothing. It's okay to you know, sit in silence and maybe 332 00:23:07.640 --> 00:23:11.759 your answers are gonna come to you like that. It's okay to just rest. 333 00:23:11.799 --> 00:23:14.400 It's okay to just take a moment, you know what I'm saying. 334 00:23:14.480 --> 00:23:17.559 Like, and that's another issue that I have. I always feel like I 335 00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:22.319 have to be doing something. You know, It's always something, you know 336 00:23:22.319 --> 00:23:23.960 how as we feel like I gotta do something, and it's like, no, 337 00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:26.799 nigga, you could. You probably just need to be you know what 338 00:23:26.839 --> 00:23:30.839 I'm saying, And you probably need to relax because again, I have a 339 00:23:30.839 --> 00:23:33.920 lot of thoughts, I have a lot of emotions that I don't really be 340 00:23:34.039 --> 00:23:37.640 processing. I just internalize that shit and let that shit just bottle the fuck 341 00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:42.039 up, because I'll be out in this bitch being a therapist to every fucking 342 00:23:42.240 --> 00:23:45.880 body else but myself. And that's why i really want to go to therapy, 343 00:23:45.880 --> 00:23:51.519 because I'm like, nigga, this is years and years of trauma, 344 00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:56.759 years and years of emotional distress, years and years of fucking you know what 345 00:23:56.759 --> 00:24:00.200 I'm saying, just stress and just life, Nigga, that I'm never ever 346 00:24:00.400 --> 00:24:03.599 really processed for real, you know what I'm saying. The most of I've 347 00:24:03.599 --> 00:24:07.759 processed is on the motherfucking podcast, talking amongst myself, talking to my friends 348 00:24:07.960 --> 00:24:12.079 or and that, and even that is very minimal because I've always been a 349 00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:15.960 person like I don't want to be a burden to nobody else. I don't 350 00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:18.160 want to be laying my problems out on the table for number one, for 351 00:24:18.240 --> 00:24:21.759 niggas to judge me, or number two, just you know what I'm saying, 352 00:24:21.880 --> 00:24:26.720 And again, everybody always fucking comes to me. And again, taking 353 00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:29.319 it back to last night, that's probably why I was having a fucking panic 354 00:24:29.319 --> 00:24:36.720 attack because all of that shit inside when you think about that ship, all 355 00:24:36.720 --> 00:24:40.039 of the shit that you got going on in your fucking mind, all of 356 00:24:40.039 --> 00:24:44.279 the emotions you got trapped in your body. That's why yoga is also very 357 00:24:44.319 --> 00:24:48.960 important. It's a great way to release emotional trauma. It's a great way 358 00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:53.039 to you know, move your body and get get all that shit moving, 359 00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:59.440 you know what I'm saying, to release things, because emotions be trapped in 360 00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:03.200 our body. You know what I'm saying, All those feelings, all those 361 00:25:03.599 --> 00:25:07.640 all those feelings, all of that Say you got a blockthroat chocker, Say 362 00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:10.359 you don't speak up for yourself, say you don't speak your mind. All 363 00:25:10.359 --> 00:25:14.920 of that shit just holding it in with nowhere to go, nowhere to be 364 00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.920 released, you know what I'm saying, Just building up over time. So 365 00:25:22.519 --> 00:25:26.079 last night I was having a fucking panic attack, and it was like I 366 00:25:26.200 --> 00:25:30.359 got up and I start trying to stretch and breathe, and I was like, 367 00:25:32.039 --> 00:25:34.799 if you've never had a panic attack, it literally feels like you're about 368 00:25:34.839 --> 00:25:41.559 to fucking die. That shit as scary as hell. And it's like imagine 369 00:25:41.960 --> 00:25:47.759 trying to stretch and breathe and calm down and tell yourself like that it's okay. 370 00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:52.960 You like, and I'm still just anxiety just through the fucking roof. 371 00:25:53.960 --> 00:25:59.839 I had on meditation music and that shit was nothing was helping. I was 372 00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.599 feeling like I was about to die. And then I don't know, somehow 373 00:26:04.599 --> 00:26:07.680 I isn't fall in the fuck asleep. But it's just like, bro, 374 00:26:08.039 --> 00:26:15.319 like you know what I'm saying, The helper needs help, the healer needs 375 00:26:15.319 --> 00:26:21.440 to be healed, the therapist needs therapy, the you know what I'm saying, 376 00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:26.720 like for real, for real, it's just it's so much. It's 377 00:26:26.759 --> 00:26:27.920 so much. And then and then I sit up here and I put on 378 00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:33.160 that strong black woman motherfucking mask and shield, like but I don't want your 379 00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:34.839 niggas to think that I'm not okay, you know what I'm saying, But 380 00:26:36.759 --> 00:26:38.319 it is half a half. It's like I don't want to try to think 381 00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:41.200 that I'm not okay. But also it's like, yeah, I ain't gonna 382 00:26:41.240 --> 00:26:47.240 lie. I'd be going through shit, um and I ain't gonna lie. 383 00:26:47.359 --> 00:26:52.160 A bitch make it look fucking easy. And I understand that's why a lot 384 00:26:52.160 --> 00:26:55.079 of people hate me. I understand that's why a lot of people be jealous 385 00:26:55.079 --> 00:26:59.279 in me. I understand why niggas be like, fuck this bitch thing sheet, 386 00:26:59.319 --> 00:27:02.400 you know, what I'm saying, because I make the shit look fucking 387 00:27:02.440 --> 00:27:06.200 easy. You know what I'm saying. I'm still walking around want a smile 388 00:27:06.279 --> 00:27:11.400 on. I'm still walking around with my with my mental sanity because I make 389 00:27:11.480 --> 00:27:18.880 this shit look fucking easy, and it's not imagine really being in misery or 390 00:27:18.920 --> 00:27:21.680 being unhappy. And it's like, god, damn, this's been still cool 391 00:27:21.720 --> 00:27:27.799 though. She's still she's still cool. She's still cool. Like yeah, 392 00:27:29.000 --> 00:27:33.720 So it's just a lot going on, and like I said, major moves 393 00:27:33.799 --> 00:27:38.759 and plays being put on the flow, and I ain't gonna lie. I'm 394 00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:45.000 scared to death, but I gotta do it. You know what I'm saying. 395 00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:52.079 I gotta do it. I gotta do it. Everything is just a 396 00:27:52.160 --> 00:27:57.119 fucking learning experience. Like this yoga journey been so crazy, this whole like 397 00:28:02.279 --> 00:28:07.480 becoming a yoga teacher, looking back at yoga teacher training and how far I've 398 00:28:07.519 --> 00:28:11.519 come so far, and again like what month is this? This is this 399 00:28:11.599 --> 00:28:18.000 is now June, So in four more months, it'd be a year that 400 00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:29.000 I've been doing fucking yoga. And even with that, like a lot of 401 00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:32.640 times I'll be feeling like I overworked myself with that, I'll be yoga every 402 00:28:32.720 --> 00:28:34.480 damn day, yoga every damn day, Yoga every damn day, Yoga every 403 00:28:34.559 --> 00:28:38.839 damn day, Yoga every damn day, Yoga every damn day. And now, 404 00:28:41.119 --> 00:28:45.200 um, you know I'm teaching it, but I feel like I ain't 405 00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:51.079 really Um, I feel like I ain't really done, like a class one 406 00:28:51.119 --> 00:28:56.640 the last time I did a class, M what was the last class on 407 00:28:56.759 --> 00:29:02.839 too? I mean I have been doing classes, but not how I was 408 00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:06.759 before, you know what I'm saying. And for me personally, I like 409 00:29:06.920 --> 00:29:10.359 to when I'm teaching my classes, I do like to teach and all that, 410 00:29:10.400 --> 00:29:15.160 but I kind of like to participate as well. I don't know if 411 00:29:15.160 --> 00:29:19.839 I said this on here before, but I think just for my style of 412 00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:23.880 yoga and what I do in my personal class, like I don't have to 413 00:29:23.920 --> 00:29:27.440 do the whole class fool out with niggas, but there are certain things that 414 00:29:27.480 --> 00:29:33.759 I do with people, and I think by people watching me do certain parts, 415 00:29:33.759 --> 00:29:37.039 like when I get to the balance opposes, I do that with niggas 416 00:29:37.079 --> 00:29:41.319 because it's gonna challenge them and it's gonna motivate them to do it, to 417 00:29:41.400 --> 00:29:42.400 stick it out, you know what I'm saying. Because if not niggas that 418 00:29:42.519 --> 00:29:45.759 just fall out. I'm like, Okay, you know what I'm saying. 419 00:29:45.960 --> 00:29:48.799 But if you got the teacher in front of you holding that bitch and it's 420 00:29:48.839 --> 00:29:51.039 like, damn, hold on, let me, let me try to hold 421 00:29:51.039 --> 00:29:55.400 this too, let me. You know what I'm saying, It like it 422 00:29:55.440 --> 00:29:59.039 puts that competitive spirit in there, but I feel like in a in a 423 00:29:59.119 --> 00:30:06.200 more motivation no way. And also I'm never I don't think that I make 424 00:30:06.240 --> 00:30:08.880 people make it feel like it's a competition because I'm encouraging you, like, 425 00:30:08.960 --> 00:30:11.480 hey, if you if you fall out, hot back in, you got 426 00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:14.680 it type. You know what I'm saying. I'm talking to Nigga's walk, 427 00:30:14.799 --> 00:30:17.119 So I don't know, it's just a different vibe with me. If you 428 00:30:17.119 --> 00:30:22.480 don't know, you have to come take a class with me and just the 429 00:30:22.519 --> 00:30:26.480 whole process with that, Like becoming a yoga teacher, Nigga, I knew 430 00:30:26.519 --> 00:30:29.920 that I wasn't gonna be a millionaire the day that I graduated a yoga teacher 431 00:30:29.960 --> 00:30:33.720 training. I knew that it was gonna be a struggle. I knew. 432 00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:34.720 You know what I'm saying, These are things that I knew. These are 433 00:30:34.759 --> 00:30:38.680 literally things that I told myself like Jasmine, you ain't gonna be making x 434 00:30:38.720 --> 00:30:41.119 amountama, you know what I'm saying, Like I already know that it's a 435 00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:47.400 process and all of that, and you know, I think about the goals 436 00:30:47.440 --> 00:30:52.160 and the the plans that I have for myself and yoga and creating my own 437 00:30:52.279 --> 00:30:55.319 yoga brand. It's so much like you know what I'm saying, A nigga 438 00:30:55.359 --> 00:31:02.880 ain't even just doing. I haven't even fulfilled just my everyday shit that I'm 439 00:31:02.880 --> 00:31:04.920 trying to do for myself, just basic shit, you know what I'm saying. 440 00:31:06.200 --> 00:31:11.680 In my own home life as a mother and like having a stable foundation 441 00:31:11.440 --> 00:31:15.880 myself, I haven't even got that together. So imagine thinking about like, 442 00:31:15.880 --> 00:31:17.920 oh, I want to open a yoga studio one day, I want to 443 00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:18.839 do this. I want to create a brand. You know what I'm saying. 444 00:31:18.920 --> 00:31:22.839 I still ain't even really got podcast it off the ground. I don't 445 00:31:22.839 --> 00:31:26.920 have a fucking merch line yet. It's it's so many things that I haven't 446 00:31:26.039 --> 00:31:29.839 you know what I'm saying, It's so fucking much. It's so fucking much. 447 00:31:30.039 --> 00:31:33.599 If somebody threw me a million dollars, I can start getting this shit 448 00:31:33.640 --> 00:31:36.519 on the fucking you know what, I'm saying, I had I would be 449 00:31:36.599 --> 00:31:40.799 dropping shit like crazy. But it's it's a lot. It's an motherfucking process, 450 00:31:40.920 --> 00:31:48.039 you know what I'm saying. The other day, I follow Laundrille on 451 00:31:48.160 --> 00:31:52.960 Instagram. I love Laundrille. I love his fucking music, I love his 452 00:31:52.200 --> 00:31:56.359 vibe everything. I love everything about him. So he was on Live. 453 00:31:56.400 --> 00:32:00.880 He gets on Live on Tuesday mornings at ten o'clock and he does like a 454 00:32:00.640 --> 00:32:06.680 meditation and then he does a question and answers, and so he was doing 455 00:32:06.680 --> 00:32:09.319 the meditation. I ain't gonna lie. I fell asleep during the meditation and 456 00:32:09.400 --> 00:32:13.880 I woke back up, and as soon as I woke up, baby, 457 00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:22.279 he was speaking to me. He was talking about like understanding that abundance is 458 00:32:22.279 --> 00:32:25.519 our birthright. Basically, he was talking about the lack of mindseting. He 459 00:32:25.559 --> 00:32:30.279 was talking about trying to escape yourself or escape where you are. Somebody had 460 00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:34.200 asked a question about like, you know, I really want to start my 461 00:32:34.240 --> 00:32:37.880 business or I'm feeling caught to start my business and go somewhere else, but 462 00:32:38.480 --> 00:32:45.039 I don't know whatever, and he was basically just saying, like, don't 463 00:32:45.079 --> 00:32:46.720 try to escape yourself. You know what I'm saying, you got, and 464 00:32:46.759 --> 00:32:51.160 you got to understand that. It's a fucking mindset. He like, at 465 00:32:51.160 --> 00:32:55.559 the end of the day, your business is where you are, you know 466 00:32:55.559 --> 00:32:59.960 what I'm saying. Of course, it's great to go somewhere else and whatever 467 00:33:00.240 --> 00:33:05.000 or relocate or whatever, but you have to be okay with what you have 468 00:33:05.359 --> 00:33:07.000 and you have to work with what you have and where you are in this 469 00:33:07.119 --> 00:33:13.400 moment. You know what I'm saying. Abundance is not something that you can 470 00:33:13.519 --> 00:33:17.359 chase or go get. It's always within you, you know what I'm saying, 471 00:33:17.359 --> 00:33:21.720 So you have to seek it within yourself. And like it was just 472 00:33:21.759 --> 00:33:27.160 a message for me because y'all know, like I don't want to be in 473 00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:30.400 Detroit. I've said there's a million times on here. Y'all know how to 474 00:33:30.519 --> 00:33:32.799 made moves before to get the fuck up out of here and had to come 475 00:33:32.839 --> 00:33:37.640 back. And it's like, I just don't see my life being here, 476 00:33:37.960 --> 00:33:42.319 you know what I'm saying. I don't feel like the calling over my life 477 00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:45.000 and the things that I want to do and the things that I see myself 478 00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:51.680 doing, like I don't see it being here. And and although I don't 479 00:33:51.680 --> 00:33:55.880 see it being here, I'm still not again, but again, being in 480 00:33:55.920 --> 00:34:01.160 this like funk or being in this in this space mentally, I haven't been 481 00:34:01.200 --> 00:34:04.920 created. So it's like, yeah, you don't even want to be here, 482 00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:07.720 but you're not even you know what I'm saying, You're not even creating. 483 00:34:07.759 --> 00:34:09.119 You're not even doing what you're supposed to be doing while you're here. 484 00:34:09.239 --> 00:34:13.760 So it's just a lot. But that message was like really for me for 485 00:34:13.880 --> 00:34:17.400 sure. And you know, like I said, I've just been kind of 486 00:34:17.400 --> 00:34:22.880 looking at the relationships and the people around me and just being very selective about 487 00:34:22.960 --> 00:34:28.440 the energy that I want around me and the conversations that I want to have 488 00:34:28.719 --> 00:34:31.880 and all of that, and you know, it's just I just this is 489 00:34:31.960 --> 00:34:37.760 it's a lot of observation going on within myself and with my life, and 490 00:34:38.280 --> 00:34:45.400 you know, just self reflecting and understanding that there's a lot more that I 491 00:34:45.400 --> 00:34:49.559 can do, saying prove, but it also having that grace with myself and 492 00:34:49.679 --> 00:34:54.280 being gentle with myself because I feel like I am very hardsh I feel like 493 00:34:54.360 --> 00:34:58.559 I am all a critical of myself. I think I do go super hard 494 00:34:58.599 --> 00:35:05.679 on myself, and you know, and also just trying to really nourish and 495 00:35:05.800 --> 00:35:14.199 pour into myself because you know, I do overgive. I do like to 496 00:35:14.280 --> 00:35:19.639 be everything to everybody else and not be that for myself. Another thing was 497 00:35:19.760 --> 00:35:25.920 when Motherfucker's cut into me and said, my harsh chakra is overactive again overgiving, 498 00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:30.440 being a people pleaser. But you know what I'm saying, going over 499 00:35:30.519 --> 00:35:34.119 and beyond for people, and like, you know what I'm saying, And 500 00:35:34.599 --> 00:35:37.000 that says a lot about the childhood trauma and me. It says a lot 501 00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:40.320 about the little girl in me, and like I guess, like wanting to 502 00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:45.280 be validated or wanting to feel needed, or you know what I'm saying. 503 00:35:45.320 --> 00:35:49.320 I think what it is with me is just that it's certain things that I 504 00:35:49.360 --> 00:35:52.480 didn't get and it's like I want to be that to other people. You 505 00:35:52.480 --> 00:35:55.599 know what I'm saying, Like, Okay, well little little Jasmine didn't get 506 00:35:55.639 --> 00:35:59.760 that treatment, so let me give that to you, because I know that's 507 00:35:59.800 --> 00:36:02.199 what she would want. But when But in reality, what it is is 508 00:36:02.239 --> 00:36:06.639 that I'm supposed to be giving that to myself. If you know that little 509 00:36:06.760 --> 00:36:10.320 if you know that little Jasmine didn't get a certain type of love or attention 510 00:36:10.440 --> 00:36:17.920 or affection or emotional support or whatever, or just support period. It's so 511 00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:22.719 many things that I feel like I didn't get. So that's why I'm such 512 00:36:22.760 --> 00:36:27.920 an overgiver to other people, especially in romantic relationships. It's like, you 513 00:36:28.039 --> 00:36:30.239 do all of this for other people, why don't you just give it back 514 00:36:30.280 --> 00:36:36.840 to yourself and make yourself feel fool and make yourself feel whole because you overgive, 515 00:36:37.000 --> 00:36:38.119 you know what I'm saying. First of all, you already have a 516 00:36:38.159 --> 00:36:40.679 little bit together. I mean, I have a lot to give, but 517 00:36:42.440 --> 00:36:45.800 it's really what I need. It's what I need. So the little that 518 00:36:45.880 --> 00:36:50.119 I do have, which is actually a lot, I'm giving it out to 519 00:36:50.280 --> 00:36:54.599 everybody else, and of course motherfucker's gonna soak that shit up. Motherfucker's take 520 00:36:54.679 --> 00:36:57.760 it, and then they'd be like, Okay, on to the next or 521 00:36:57.800 --> 00:37:00.400 whatever. But it's like, dang, I gave all of that away when 522 00:37:00.440 --> 00:37:04.719 really the little bit that I had, which was really a lot, I 523 00:37:04.719 --> 00:37:07.159 could have gave it to myself and made myself feel whole, made myself feel 524 00:37:07.199 --> 00:37:12.559 full, made myself shine, made you know what I'm saying, And then 525 00:37:12.599 --> 00:37:15.159 I wouldn't be having to go around and searching for it in other people or 526 00:37:15.320 --> 00:37:17.440 wanting to get it back, you know what I'm saying. And That's another 527 00:37:17.480 --> 00:37:23.599 thing that I that I'm Another lesson that I'm kind of like really focusing on 528 00:37:23.679 --> 00:37:28.559 in life is like the things that you do give to people, like and 529 00:37:28.599 --> 00:37:34.360 I don't feel like I ever was not on this, but just being very 530 00:37:34.360 --> 00:37:37.360 clear on myself about it, Like whatever you give to somebody, whatever you 531 00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:43.000 do to somebody or do for somebody, it got to be out of the 532 00:37:43.079 --> 00:37:45.039 gine genuineness side of your heart, you know what I'm saying. They got 533 00:37:45.119 --> 00:37:49.000 to be out of the kindness of your heart. You can't be doing shit 534 00:37:49.079 --> 00:37:52.360 for people expecting shit back. You cannot throw that in their face when you 535 00:37:52.400 --> 00:37:55.320 catch your attitude or get mad or you know what I'm saying, Like, 536 00:37:55.360 --> 00:37:59.559 well, I did X y Z for you. You should have been doing 537 00:37:59.559 --> 00:38:02.719 that because that's what you truly wanted to do. If you don't, and 538 00:38:02.800 --> 00:38:08.400 that's the thing, if you do something for somebody or whatever, it shouldn't 539 00:38:08.440 --> 00:38:12.760 even have to come back up. If that's something that you truly wanted to 540 00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:15.760 do, do it and be done with it. Don't ever bring it back 541 00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:20.199 up. Don't ever bring it back up. It better be because that's what 542 00:38:20.239 --> 00:38:24.000 you wanted to do, you know what I'm saying. And if you are 543 00:38:24.039 --> 00:38:29.320 going to do something for somebody, you can't be feeling bad about it, 544 00:38:29.599 --> 00:38:31.280 you know what I'm saying, because that's what you chose to do. And 545 00:38:31.360 --> 00:38:37.400 that's another thing, another thing that I'm just like really being clear with myself 546 00:38:37.400 --> 00:38:42.360 about it is like choosing to be somewhere, choosing to do something, choosing 547 00:38:42.360 --> 00:38:45.119 to be a part of something, choosing to put yourself into something. You 548 00:38:45.119 --> 00:38:52.320 know what I'm saying, Like, take accountability, because yeah, there are 549 00:38:52.840 --> 00:39:00.400 just the thing, there are certain aspects of situations like Okay, say that 550 00:39:00.440 --> 00:39:05.719 you put yourself in a situation. Right, if you're in a relationship with 551 00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:10.159 somebody, Say you're in a relationship with somebody number one, you're choosing to 552 00:39:10.199 --> 00:39:14.800 be there. You have to take accountability for that. You're choosing to be 553 00:39:14.880 --> 00:39:19.599 there. Now, whatever this person does and whatever happens in this relationship, 554 00:39:19.880 --> 00:39:22.480 it's going to have an effect on you. Whatever they do, it's going 555 00:39:22.519 --> 00:39:27.920 to have an effect on you. Okay, And of course that's that has 556 00:39:27.960 --> 00:39:31.159 to be considered that whatever you do to me, whatever energy you bring, 557 00:39:31.199 --> 00:39:36.119 whatever problems you bring, it's going to have an effect on me, you 558 00:39:36.119 --> 00:39:38.440 know what I'm saying, And you have to take accountability and responsibility for the 559 00:39:38.519 --> 00:39:43.079 role that you play and what you bring into my life. Right cool. 560 00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:45.400 We know that that affects me, We know that you play a part, 561 00:39:45.480 --> 00:39:49.719 We know that you know what I'm saying. Of course, we factor in 562 00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:54.519 the fact that whatever you do, whatever, that plays a part. But 563 00:39:54.639 --> 00:40:02.599 at the end of the day, you chose to be there. You chose 564 00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:07.000 to be there. You chose to place yourself in that situation. So no 565 00:40:07.039 --> 00:40:09.039 matter what that person does, no matter what they do that affects you, 566 00:40:09.119 --> 00:40:14.679 no matter what energy problems they bring whatever. Oh this is affecting me. 567 00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:16.480 You know what you did affecting me? No, no, not like that 568 00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:20.440 place. But it does play a part. But at the end of the 569 00:40:20.559 --> 00:40:23.440 day, you chose to be there. You chose to be in the situation. 570 00:40:23.719 --> 00:40:28.079 You know what I'm saying. So I'm not I'm not taking away from 571 00:40:28.119 --> 00:40:30.199 the fact that that plays a part, that that person plays a part. 572 00:40:31.039 --> 00:40:36.880 I understand that. And to a certain extent, you can blame that person, 573 00:40:36.920 --> 00:40:38.199 you could blame whatever, you know what I'm saying, But at the 574 00:40:38.519 --> 00:40:45.280 end of the day, if you want to be there, then that's on 575 00:40:45.480 --> 00:40:50.119 you because if not, you could walk away, you could take yourself out 576 00:40:50.119 --> 00:40:54.360 of the situation and not be affected by anything. You know. So of 577 00:40:54.400 --> 00:41:00.400 course, everybody, everybody, everybody take their bit of the pie. Everybody 578 00:41:00.440 --> 00:41:02.840 take their bit of the blame, you know what I'm saying. But at 579 00:41:02.840 --> 00:41:12.000 the end of the day, at the end of the day, where's the 580 00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:21.599 self accountability period? So you know, another thing is like you just gotta 581 00:41:21.679 --> 00:41:28.559 live this life. You cannot be afraid to live your life. I think 582 00:41:28.599 --> 00:41:31.360 a lot of people are afraid to live their lives. I think a lot 583 00:41:31.400 --> 00:41:36.119 of people are afraid to live their lives. And that's the thing when you 584 00:41:36.239 --> 00:41:40.360 live your life, and that's why you gotta be able to just be in 585 00:41:40.440 --> 00:41:45.840 a judgment free zone and living a judgment free life. And again going back 586 00:41:45.840 --> 00:41:46.760 to how I say, you know, I'm gonna be worried about what people 587 00:41:46.800 --> 00:41:52.800 gotta say or whatever. Like when you live in your life, you can't 588 00:41:52.840 --> 00:41:54.559 even think about none of that ship for real good like I said, it's 589 00:41:54.559 --> 00:42:00.079 gonna come with the territory, you know, but that that can't mean and 590 00:42:00.119 --> 00:42:04.519 shit to you. You can't let that affect you. You got to live 591 00:42:04.559 --> 00:42:07.079 your life. And a part of living your life is making mistakes. It's 592 00:42:07.159 --> 00:42:14.719 falling down it's bumping your head, it's getting back up, it's learning lessons, 593 00:42:15.079 --> 00:42:19.800 it's experiencing shit, is feeling shit, is going through shit. That's 594 00:42:19.840 --> 00:42:22.960 what living your life is about. If niggas wanted to live a perfect life, 595 00:42:22.960 --> 00:42:25.480 that shit would be lame as fuck. It would be boring as hell. 596 00:42:29.039 --> 00:42:31.760 You know what I'm saying, the real talk. The excitement comes from 597 00:42:31.800 --> 00:42:39.679 living your life and going through shit. The excitement comes from the motherfucking struggle. 598 00:42:39.719 --> 00:42:43.480 It comes from the hard times. It comes from you know what I'm 599 00:42:43.480 --> 00:42:50.159 saying. Because everybody, everybody, everybody wants everybody wants the American dream, 600 00:42:50.320 --> 00:42:53.920 or so you think, until you get that shit, and it's like, 601 00:42:54.039 --> 00:43:04.159 all right, damn, damn, I need a little bit of a problem. 602 00:43:04.360 --> 00:43:06.800 Let me feel like I can't pay the way in one month. Let 603 00:43:06.800 --> 00:43:08.480 me let me burd excitement, let me feel, let me feel you know 604 00:43:08.559 --> 00:43:10.960 what I'm saying, Look, Dad, can you throw Can you throw a 605 00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:14.239 monkey? Rich in the plane? Can I slip on them but down the 606 00:43:14.280 --> 00:43:15.840 peel? Can it be a problem in my relationship? Can't it beat it? 607 00:43:15.960 --> 00:43:37.280 Like? You know what I'm saying. I like, man, sunshine 608 00:43:37.400 --> 00:43:45.679 wouldn't be what it is without the rain. Joy wouldn't feel good if it 609 00:43:45.840 --> 00:44:00.960 wasn't for pain, you know, so and that's nothing whether fuck the climate 610 00:44:01.039 --> 00:44:07.119 control all this shit going on, and I should have known it was something 611 00:44:07.119 --> 00:44:14.000 wrong because I'm a nigga that don't get sick for real. Obviously, I 612 00:44:14.079 --> 00:44:16.079 had the windows open, you know. First of all, I ain't gonna 613 00:44:16.079 --> 00:44:20.360 lie that ninety degrees last week had me in a choke hold. I'm like, 614 00:44:20.519 --> 00:44:23.800 bitch, put it back, take the put bring the tip back down. 615 00:44:23.920 --> 00:44:27.400 Like it was hot as hell. I ain't gonna lie I was dying. 616 00:44:29.360 --> 00:44:30.280 But the other day when I woke up, you know, I had 617 00:44:30.280 --> 00:44:35.519 the windows open. When I woke up, I was congested as fuck. 618 00:44:35.599 --> 00:44:37.000 I couldn't breathe. I'm like, what the fuck. I'm like, bro, 619 00:44:37.079 --> 00:44:40.000 I don't be getting sick. And then you it was it was like 620 00:44:40.559 --> 00:44:44.719 the weather ain't being crazy, so why am I? Like? Why I 621 00:44:44.719 --> 00:44:47.159 can't breathe? And then I ended up looking at the weather it was talking 622 00:44:47.159 --> 00:44:52.480 about Detroit had like very unhealthy air quality, one of like one of the 623 00:44:52.519 --> 00:44:55.360 top places in the world with the worst air quality. I'm like, what 624 00:44:55.480 --> 00:44:59.000 the fuck is going on? Like is that why I couldn't breathe? And 625 00:44:59.000 --> 00:45:01.880 shit when I woke up and now y'all got all this shit going on right 626 00:45:01.920 --> 00:45:06.920 now. I talk about the wildfires in Canada, they're talking about the sky 627 00:45:07.159 --> 00:45:12.519 is fucking orange, and New York and New Jersey, them niggas wearing masks 628 00:45:12.679 --> 00:45:15.840 is super smoky over there. I'm like, these niggas playing with the weather. 629 00:45:15.639 --> 00:45:21.519 They're about to drop Project blue Beam, Mini minuted um. That's all 630 00:45:21.639 --> 00:45:24.519 type. And that's the thing like when And I hate that because when you 631 00:45:24.599 --> 00:45:28.639 be thinking about y'all old, your little old life, you're a little old 632 00:45:28.679 --> 00:45:32.559 regular stressed out, depressed as dysfunctional ass life. You got all that shit 633 00:45:32.639 --> 00:45:37.400 going on on top of bills and having to survive in the world, and 634 00:45:37.440 --> 00:45:40.679 then you got ship like this's going on, like all right, government about 635 00:45:40.679 --> 00:45:45.039 to drop COVID ten point zero, y'all niggas fucking with the web, like 636 00:45:45.119 --> 00:45:47.440 if you're like, damn, nigga, do we ever get a right? 637 00:45:47.480 --> 00:45:52.679 But then again, American dream perfect life. You know what I'm saying, 638 00:45:52.719 --> 00:45:55.679 What you want, what you want, what you want. Life was not 639 00:45:55.920 --> 00:46:00.079 meant to be easy. This shit was not meant to be no smooth selling 640 00:46:00.239 --> 00:46:07.159 journey, like this ship was meant to be crazy. You know what I'm 641 00:46:07.199 --> 00:46:09.679 saying, We're going down to history for show. I can't even believe that. 642 00:46:09.760 --> 00:46:14.519 Like I mean, but every every era, every generation was a part 643 00:46:14.559 --> 00:46:16.280 of history. Everybody had their part, Nigga says, slavery. And Nigga 644 00:46:16.320 --> 00:46:20.280 said, you know what I'm saying, everybody has something. But that's crazy. 645 00:46:20.320 --> 00:46:25.360 It's for that We're gonna be history like. And that's why, you 646 00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:30.960 know, I'm glad this little platform is here because because this is my legacy, 647 00:46:31.079 --> 00:46:35.400 this is my experience. Nig y'all ain't erasing me from the history. 648 00:46:35.480 --> 00:46:40.559 Unless y'all just banished this whole ship from whatever, from the internet, from 649 00:46:40.599 --> 00:46:45.440 you know whatever. Nigga's gonna hear my story. And that's why I got 650 00:46:45.440 --> 00:46:49.960 to get back the posting my videos and my YouTube, like my legacy and 651 00:46:50.239 --> 00:46:52.840 all the shit I'm trying to leave behind. My man said he want to 652 00:46:52.880 --> 00:46:55.599 be immortal in the yoga world. He said he wants his face and the 653 00:46:55.719 --> 00:46:59.559 yoga books. He wants his name and the yoga books. And that's real. 654 00:46:59.599 --> 00:47:10.400 I feel that me too. Um so yeah, um, you know, 655 00:47:10.519 --> 00:47:21.519 and maybe one day soon we'll do an introduction to the number one Black 656 00:47:21.599 --> 00:47:27.559 yoga couple of the world and dropped the dropped the name on y'all and all 657 00:47:27.559 --> 00:47:31.280 of that. You know, one one day in due time soon to come. 658 00:47:32.719 --> 00:47:40.559 Um, and that's funny. His sister asked me today. She was 659 00:47:40.599 --> 00:47:44.960 like, have you recorded a podcast? And I'm wondering why. I wonder 660 00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:46.880 if she asked me that just because she wanted to know her if somebody said 661 00:47:46.920 --> 00:47:53.280 something to her. I don't know. I don't know why why she asked 662 00:47:53.280 --> 00:47:59.840 me that, but that was interesting. But UM, I'm not gonna lie 663 00:48:00.599 --> 00:48:05.920 I. And I know I'm you know, I'll be speaking in cold on 664 00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:09.440 these episodes sometimes, so you know, maybe the last couple of episodes of 665 00:48:09.639 --> 00:48:13.239 like, dang, did she fall out with somebody? Did something happened? 666 00:48:13.320 --> 00:48:15.639 Whatever, the niggas be back on here and be good. And that's what 667 00:48:15.679 --> 00:48:19.599 I'm saying. You can't judge this relationships. You cannot judge niggas. But 668 00:48:21.119 --> 00:48:28.760 no, I'm not gonna lie I. I truly wholeheartedly believe that I met 669 00:48:28.800 --> 00:48:38.480 my person for real, Like I believe that I met my person. I 670 00:48:38.599 --> 00:48:54.480 believe that he challenges me in a very good way. Um, And I'm 671 00:48:54.559 --> 00:49:10.800 able to I'm able to be patient in the relationship and in our situation. 672 00:49:10.880 --> 00:49:15.119 I'm able to be patient, I'm able, but I'm already a very like 673 00:49:15.519 --> 00:49:20.559 uh, I feel like I'm a very calm person. I feel like I'm 674 00:49:20.599 --> 00:49:28.320 a very uh what do I want to say? A very um? Oh 675 00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:37.880 wow? Am I am? I still going? First of all, my 676 00:49:38.000 --> 00:49:45.320 recording stopped because a call came through and it was the person. It was 677 00:49:45.320 --> 00:49:47.679 the person that I was talking about, so and first of all, this 678 00:49:47.800 --> 00:49:51.800 is that that really just threw me for a loop because we were just having 679 00:49:51.960 --> 00:49:55.119 a real wild, nasty conversation. So to come back and this was just 680 00:49:55.239 --> 00:49:59.760 recording like this is very wild. But anyway, I was saying, now, 681 00:50:00.119 --> 00:50:05.920 um, I'm for the most part, I'm a very calm person. 682 00:50:06.760 --> 00:50:09.199 And what was I trying to say, like a very just like a very 683 00:50:09.239 --> 00:50:15.079 cool, calm, collective person, Like I feel like very level headed. 684 00:50:15.159 --> 00:50:20.400 I feel like I'm a very level headed person. And I feel like he 685 00:50:20.559 --> 00:50:28.000 is teaching me to be patient in a relationship and not to just dive off 686 00:50:28.039 --> 00:50:31.559 the deep end or throw the towel in, especially when you notice you want 687 00:50:31.599 --> 00:50:38.639 to be there. And I don't know, I just like it's it's a 688 00:50:38.719 --> 00:50:43.760 different it's a different feeling. It's a very different type of feeling. And 689 00:50:44.000 --> 00:50:46.719 just you know, I'm a very spiritual person. I feel like everything is 690 00:50:46.760 --> 00:50:52.360 a sign, and you know, it was just so many things and so 691 00:50:52.440 --> 00:50:58.920 many synchronicities like when we first connected that I will share with y'all at a 692 00:50:59.000 --> 00:51:01.320 later time, at a later day, like I can't wait for us to 693 00:51:01.320 --> 00:51:05.440 do an episode or really a video together. Well, we're gonna do a 694 00:51:05.480 --> 00:51:12.360 lot of videos together because we're gonna be doing younger videos together, but we 695 00:51:12.440 --> 00:51:16.199 don't have some real good content. But yeah, it's a lot to share 696 00:51:16.239 --> 00:51:21.960 about that. But honestly, I from the bottom of my heart, from 697 00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:25.000 the depths of my soul, like on some real shit, Like I've never 698 00:51:25.039 --> 00:51:35.159 felt like this about a person before, and I've never really felt a connection 699 00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:38.360 like this, And just the way that shit happened, the way that we 700 00:51:38.440 --> 00:51:44.800 came together, it really made me feel like it was fate, you know 701 00:51:44.800 --> 00:51:47.960 what I'm saying, because it was like I could be with anybody in the 702 00:51:49.000 --> 00:51:52.320 world. I could have found any nigga in Detroit, I could have found, 703 00:51:52.400 --> 00:51:55.159 you know what I'm saying. So and I found him, you know 704 00:51:55.199 --> 00:51:58.920 what I'm saying. I found him, So it wasn't even like a Nigga 705 00:51:59.000 --> 00:52:00.679 slid on me, was like, what up, my you know what I'm 706 00:52:00.719 --> 00:52:08.480 saying? So like that that really just like makes it even more real for 707 00:52:08.599 --> 00:52:13.880 me. And then you know the love that he has for my son and 708 00:52:13.960 --> 00:52:17.480 he hasn't even met him yet, and like the way that he speaks about 709 00:52:17.639 --> 00:52:25.239 him and about us as a unit, and like the plans that he has 710 00:52:25.400 --> 00:52:30.400 for us, and it like we are so many plans and ideas together for 711 00:52:30.599 --> 00:52:36.719 like our life, our family, a yoga business and all of that. 712 00:52:37.079 --> 00:52:38.840 Like y'all know, that's really what I want. I always be talking about. 713 00:52:38.840 --> 00:52:43.559 I want companionship, I want a partner, I want like I want, 714 00:52:43.840 --> 00:52:49.599 I want a family. I want to create a legacy, so you 715 00:52:49.639 --> 00:52:54.400 know, and then to have somebody that loves God and loves yoga and loves 716 00:52:54.480 --> 00:53:00.880 me like and understands me. But I ain't gonna lie. The nigga is 717 00:53:00.880 --> 00:53:06.760 a motherfucking headache. The nigga is a motherfucking headache. But and he was 718 00:53:06.800 --> 00:53:09.360 just telling me this too on the pall, like you are a headache. 719 00:53:09.639 --> 00:53:14.079 And you know, he laid out X Y and Z that he always talked 720 00:53:14.079 --> 00:53:15.559 about that he don't like about me or a shit that I do. But 721 00:53:15.639 --> 00:53:22.199 he like, I weighed the pros and cons and I'm gonna anybody that I'm 722 00:53:22.239 --> 00:53:25.239 gonna be with is gonna be a headache in some type of way. But 723 00:53:25.599 --> 00:53:28.880 he was like, I think about all the other things that I could be 724 00:53:28.880 --> 00:53:34.480 going through with another woman, and it's like that ain't worth It ain't worth 725 00:53:34.519 --> 00:53:37.760 it because you don't really come with too much. You you a headache in 726 00:53:37.800 --> 00:53:42.440 certain ways, but I much rather deal with you, didn't deal with these 727 00:53:42.519 --> 00:53:49.119 little whole ass city girl ass just want to fuck with a nigga for the 728 00:53:49.159 --> 00:53:52.400 bag, just you know, all of like, it really ain't shit out 729 00:53:52.400 --> 00:53:57.360 here. It's pissing the end the dating pool. So like, if you 730 00:53:57.440 --> 00:54:01.880 find somebody real and you find somebody that's on the same page with you mentally, 731 00:54:01.960 --> 00:54:07.000 spiritually, emotionally, whatever, like you got a round with that for 732 00:54:07.079 --> 00:54:14.760 real, because it ain't shit out here. And uh, I wrote this 733 00:54:14.920 --> 00:54:19.559 down to like the other day that, um, what did I say? 734 00:54:20.639 --> 00:54:30.639 I said? Uh? For all the funk I said. Damn, I 735 00:54:30.679 --> 00:54:37.519 don't know what the fuck did I say? I said something? Um, 736 00:54:37.559 --> 00:54:45.280 I don't know what the fuck I said, but um, let me see. 737 00:54:45.480 --> 00:54:57.760 Can I look and see what I said? Oh? I said that, 738 00:54:57.880 --> 00:55:02.519 Um, you know, I've been single for shit like ten years since 739 00:55:02.599 --> 00:55:07.760 like twenty thirteen or twenty fourteen. I think it was twenty thirteen, And 740 00:55:08.559 --> 00:55:14.760 it's just so clear to me why I refused to settle, because the love 741 00:55:14.920 --> 00:55:21.079 that I truly desired was always out there and with my name written all over 742 00:55:21.159 --> 00:55:23.679 it. And I feel like it was meant for me and him to align 743 00:55:24.559 --> 00:55:29.840 once we were an energetic match for each other. Like I really feel like 744 00:55:29.880 --> 00:55:32.239 this like my twin flame, my soul mate, my best friend. Like 745 00:55:32.800 --> 00:55:38.360 I've never experienced a love that I feel so connected mentally, spiritually, and 746 00:55:38.400 --> 00:55:45.519 emotionally. Our birthdays are seven days apart. We're both Pisces, Like I 747 00:55:45.599 --> 00:55:47.119 definitely made my match with this one, and I ain't never fused with a 748 00:55:47.199 --> 00:55:52.440 nigga that was a Pisces. But he's a motherfucking handful of I ain't gonna 749 00:55:52.480 --> 00:55:59.280 lot. But he's also a very intuitive person as well, Like I can't 750 00:55:59.280 --> 00:56:05.239 get ship at him. He's a good reader of energy. Well I actually 751 00:56:05.360 --> 00:56:08.679 I don't know. In some ways he's not, but for the most part, 752 00:56:09.440 --> 00:56:15.039 he's a very good reader of energy and just of bullshit and of people 753 00:56:15.199 --> 00:56:20.440 period. Like I said, It's funny that I say that because with certain 754 00:56:20.480 --> 00:56:22.960 people know he's not. But for the most part or I don't know, 755 00:56:23.079 --> 00:56:25.480 maybe I feel like, deep down side he is. But you know, 756 00:56:25.519 --> 00:56:30.320 sometimes you don't be wanting to see shit in people or whatever, so maybe 757 00:56:30.360 --> 00:56:36.159 that might be the case. But yes, and he was actually happy that 758 00:56:36.199 --> 00:56:40.280 I was recording episode today. So yeah, so that's I had to come 759 00:56:40.280 --> 00:56:44.679 on here and share that with y'all. I hope that y'all enjoyed this episode. 760 00:56:44.760 --> 00:56:46.719 Make sure that you follow me on all platforms that hell are my homies. 761 00:56:47.159 --> 00:56:51.400 Subscribe to the podcast right if I started to review on my little BlackGirl 762 00:56:51.440 --> 00:56:53.199 experience. That's all I have for y'all. I'm out.