Bottle Up Bitches is hosted by a horny mary couple. Content may include adult
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Its season four. Welcome to Bottle Deup Bitches, your favorite sex podcast,
hosted by a horny married couple with me Rihanna Campbell and me producer Man
Adam Sex shouldn't be taboo or embarrassing, so let's talk about it. This
feels scandalous. I think this is our first step into making it only fans.
This is gonna be a wild one. It would be interesting. How
are you doing? Pretty good? I feel like this is something like fun
experimental style podcasting we're doing. Yeah, do you want to do? You
want me to explain? Yeah? Okay, Hi everyone, Oh, welcome
to your favorite podcast, favorite sex podcast with me Rihanna Campbell and me producer
Man Adam work. So what we're doing today is a deep dive literally into
my genitals. Yeah. So, um, Adam is, let's say it's
been about eight years. I feel like you've seen my vulva quite a bit.
Sure, um, but usually I'm not one to let you look at
it in the brightness. Yeah, you're pretty shy about it. I'm pretty
shy with my flaps and such. Um so in spirit of relearning our bodies
and just doing a full you know, discovery of our bodies as too.
I don't know how sexual journey, sexual journey. Thank you. I'm struggling.
I took an edible a little while ago, so my my, my
stringing my words is a little tough right now. But yeah, so we're
going to I'm we have our setup on our futon and you are going to
give a live reaction and document seeing my bolva and exploring it. Yeah.
How do you feel about that? Adam Lewis? How do you feel?
Um? I'm not sure excited. I guess I don't know what I'm going
to be looking for. It's more of just like appreciating it. Maybe try
touching it in new ways. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. All
right, this might go bad, this might never see the light of day.
We'll see and then if this goes well, we'll do yours. Okay,
okay, um, all right, so what do you need from me?
I guess are we going to get started it in position? I suppose?
Okay, here, here I come, And what you'll need to do
for our listeners is you're gonna have to take it over. Yeah, You're
gonna have to yeah, yeah, okay, all right, So Rihanna is
laying down, she is spreading goal in front of me. It's like butterfly,
like butterfly bikini wax. She's spread butterfly. Yeah. So I'm gonna
have to set the mic a little bit away from me, and it's obviously
a little bit away from you. I'm gonna kind of put it in the
middle, so our voices may sound a little um distant, distant, but
that's just how it's gonna work. All right, here comes the big reveal.
I feel like I'm getting an ob gyn exam, like in front of
people. What if I just pulled out one of the pap schmir devices.
Ste baby, I was gonna say, I thought that's when they puts out
like cream cheese on you. All right, I'm taking the underwear is coming
off. H She's beautiful, absolutely gorgeous. I just love like an atche.
This is wild. Well, just to be like, when's the last
time you've ever had a vocalize, Yeah, vocalize and then know that like
it's gonna be out there for the world. How do you feel about that.
I don't know, I feel sure sure, sure, this is hey,
this is how we get it. This is gonna be the episode that
breaks through. Okay, this is our breakthrough episode Breakthrough, Found Our Voice
An episode forty eight. Yeah. Well okay, so we're looking at it.
She's beautiful watching you move the mic arm towards you. It's like you're
a doctor, like moving like the like a dentist moves the lights the light.
Yeah. Yeah, it's very soft on the sides. I shaved them
a couple days ago and swimming. Yeah yeah, I put oil on them
every morning. Got it. It's very soft, like I don't know what
you call this area like the groin, like that tendon. Yeah, it's
very soft. Is it true that if that gets slice I could bleed out?
No, that's just attended. That's not an artery. Oh. I
just think one of your major arteries is it's in your thigh. Oh but
this this right here is just that's just attended. It would be very painful
and you would not be able to really walk right if that did. But
let's not talk about that. Yeah, okay, so I'm looking at you.
So I've got you got your outer flaps. Which these are your labia
majora? Okay? Correct, I know they're my labias. But there's a
Labia MAJORA and Labia manora and I don't know which ones which I am assuming
majoras on the outside, I would assume yeah, major major major major Labia
major major Labia reporting for Judy please major labia was my father. Okay.
So we got your labia majora's, which are gorgeous. It so funny because
I feel like you always talk about how now that like volvos are like You're
always like, do guys like looking at them? Yeah? And I like
looking at them. I personally love looking at volvas. Okay, just saying,
and you have a gorgeous one. So we got your labia majora.
And then these guys right here, I'm just spreading them out a little bit.
I guess I could get in there. These guys right here are your
labia manorris right? Not? Is that right? We need a pull of
a diagram? I really don't know. Pause. If you attempt to do
this on your own and explore your body parts with your partner, please make
sure you wash your hands really thoroughly beforehand. Um, just because our bits
deserve clean, sanitized hand. So make sure y'all are beings the editari when
exploring each other's giblets. All right, let's see, I'm gonna be so
flexible after this by just like sitting here being butterflied this song. Okay,
So oh yeah, that says like it's if I'm if I'm reading this correctly,
this right here is your labia majora is like the general outside okay of
the vulva. Okay, okay. And then if I'm reading this correctly,
if I spread those flaps like open your vulva, spread those flaps the same
like the same section, but on the inside, so like the wall,
like the lining of the wall. That's that's the lady of manora. Okay.
And then these guys, these are these little ladies, the like flaps
on the inside, that's the volva vestibule, like bebe yeah, yeah,
your vulva vestibule. And then you know, be gentle, I am trying.
And then within those that's the vaginal opening. You don't have to look
so deep down there. Your vaginal opening is closed up shy, And then
your rrefo openings in here somewhere, and then we've got so your clitterests should
be op, let's see if you can find it, ladies and gentlemen.
He's I mean the hardest time finding the clitterest should be right here. Yeah,
good job, that's yes, that's what that is. It is.
But but why are you confused? Because like your clitter is like it doesn't
it's it's like there's not like a don't boy, I'm not. I'm not,
I'm not, but I like, according to the diagram, I'm looking
for like almost a little like ball on top of your vulva vestibule, and
there's not so like your clitters is a little hidden there. Sure hit it.
And then here at the very top I'm sorry, I have to adjust
my legs, legs, you're flaying asleep. And then here at the very
top, like this area almost like at the point of the vulva according to
this diagram, is your clitoral hood. Yes, yes, and then this
is your agnus um. Okay, so this is this is fun. Yeah,
I've never really gotten to like experiment. Not sorry i am I'm being
just like launched the nukes with my jam the button down. Sorry. Yeah,
I've never like really looked into it. Mm hmm, it's I guess
a whole new world in there now. I'm just cupping it. Yeah,
like a little ye. Well, now do you see how gentle you have
to be with my clip? Yeah? Yeah, because this is you can't
be out here like djaying turntables to you, really gentle. The best thing
I've ever read is that it's like an egg yolk. Like, treat it
like an egg yolk. Yeah, like I'm not trying to break you're trying
not to break the egg yolk. Yeah, yeah, gentle, that's nice.
This is good. But you're doing this is good. Yeah. Yeah,
that was working for me. Ch use them more often. Yeah,
I think I've used my thumb before and you didn't like it. No,
that's not true. I think so. I don't think so. I think
that's true. I like this a lot. This is good for me.
Yeah. Yeah. It's really not all about like intense like vibration or it's
like it's just like the right massa. It's like massaging just the right way.
Sure, yeah, all right, anything else you'd like to describe?
Um, do you have pubes? Guys? I am that woman, but
you do, but they're not they're pretty like maintained and short. Yeah,
you just have little little fuzzies on the top here, but that's it.
And I like you have a little bald spat in your pubs. I okay,
yes, because I was trimming with Okay, I was dreaming with my
razor, and yes, there's a ball spot. Got it went too hard
on? Sure? Sure because I trimmed my went swimming the other day with
some friends. Sure. Yeah, she's real pretty, she's a she's got
like a she's a little she's darker than like the rest of your skin,
which is fine. What color? It's like a dark brown? Okay,
Like it's like tan. You know you're tanned. Do you need do we
need to pull that mirror up? Will get my Alice mirror. It's in
the closet. Get my Alice mirror, because this is also going to be
a live reaction. I've never I have never looked at my bits. I
know I should And Alice B. Wilder is so cute and so sweet,
and I still haven't taken my pictures for her for artwork. And then I
paid her and she gave us a mirror in Tucson to look at my bits.
And I have the mirror but I haven't done it yet. I haven't
looked at my bits. And so we're gonna do a live a full live
reaction, and then next the following week we'll do Adam will have to look
at his balls in the mirror too. All right, I've got the mirror.
He has the mirror doesn't Doesn't it have a cute name. This is
called Genital examination mirror. Yeah, presented. It looks like it's made by
the company Nikki. M hm. It looks like a pizza. It looks
like a like yeah, one of the like a cake cakeserver, cakeserver.
Okay, wow, that is it? There is she is? This is
interesting. Okay, so tell me tell me your thoughts. This is overwhelming.
I'm really hot right now, are you. Yeah, I'm not a
fan of this. No, no, why no? It looks like one
I don't know you struggling. Yeah, this is hard, all right,
bun Okay, cute after after having a full meltdown high, yeah, we're
we're gonna We're had to pivot a little bit. We had to cut some
stuff out and you you you got a little emotional there. Yeah, And
so I didn't know if you wanted to talk about that and then we'll talk
about this episode's gonna pivot a little bit. Yeah. Um, yeah,
I don't think as much as I thought I was ready to look at all
my bits. I don't think I am like I looked at it. I
just wasn't impressed. Yeah, I get that. I mean I find them
very impressive. Um, but I can but I understand that that that that
can be tough for you know, I don't have a vagina and I volva
and I am attracted to Volva's. Yeah, so I can understand, you
know, I can understand where maybe if I did have one, and it
could be a lot. It's there's a lot going on. I have a
tube. Yeah, but tube. But the thing is you see years every
day. That's true, and that's true. Mine's out there. I've never
seen mine before. Yeah. Um, so I've just been living living with
sis, you know, for twenty seven years and just kind of like not
looking at her and being like you good, it's this cut. But yeah,
I don't know, it's just not I described it to you earlier as
looking at seventh grade middle school pictures that you took with your flip phone and
you're like, we don't look at those. Yeah, it's uncomfortable and it's
cringey. And that's how looking at my volva makes me feel. Um,
I do feel like I'm over a little bit of the initial shock. I
don't know, I just don't find find it attractive. Sure, so it
just makes me feel embarrassed. I'm like, for all the people that have
seen it, I'm like, uh, well, not a fan, you
shouldn't feel embarrassed. I've seen it. It's shamed. I feel shameful.
Maybe a little bit. There may be some shame in there. Um.
You know, I would like to think I've probably seen it more than anyone.
Yeah, um, and I it's I love it and seeing it every
time. So so don't feel embarrassed for that. But I could. But
I but you know, your feelings are valid and I think that's a fair
thing to feel. Um, do you think kind of two part question?
Do you think that there is a point where you could work yourself up to
looking at it? And do you think it's something that you would be interested
in working up thinking think that it's important for you to get to that point?
Hmmm? I do. I think it's important for us for everyone to
feel comfortable looking at any of their body parts yea, and all that good
stuff, like especially humans that have other humans. Yeah, No, I
do think it's important and it's something that I'll work on. I don't know,
I'll say this and a bit of a selfish, business sided and even
self masturbatory thing. I think that I'm I'm very happy for you and proud
of you to like talk that you're having such a hard time because I think
a lot of shows similar to ours and kind of like a lot of women
empowerment, they're always like, yeah, I pop out a merry check out
my vagina and my volva all the time, and every woman should. But
I don't think a lot of people talk about how that can be difficult.
Yeah, And then I'm sure there are people out there like you that have
a hard time doing that, and so I am very you know, proud
of you for willing to say, hey, at this point in my life,
it's tough to look at it because I'm sure there are other people who
feel very similar, but maybe don't. You know. What I don't want
is for other people who do feel embarrassed or whatever that feeling is of looking
and looking at their vagina their volva. Sorry, and having someone else look
at it and then be like, well, why is every other woman out
there that talk about sex so comfortable with it and I'm not. Yeah,
And I think that is a that is a journey, a self journey to
get to that point. Yeah. I think it's just like a I'm a
very anatomical person. So it's really confusing that I struggle with it so hard
because I have no problem when people seeing my boobs. Yeah, I'm like,
and like we all have booze. Your point like, why is why
are we uncomfortable with women breastfeeding in public? Like I get very protective over
boobs. Yeah, and I do know that I'm that way with my entire
body, but yeah, just something about my volva, I'm like, I
don't want to talk about it. I don't want people looking at it,
and I don't want to look at it either intimate part of the body.
I mean even like think of like dogs, like like our beautiful puppy,
Like when she's scared or nervous, she covers her her volva up with her
tail. Yeah, like she's protecting that. I think just naturally, that
is that's the most intimate thing you have. Yeah, that's not only like
where the sex happens or where penetrative sex happens, where volva penetrative sex happens,
but also like you know when you give birth, it comes from there.
Yeah, it's a very sacred I think. Yeah. Animalistically it's a
very sacred area. Yeah, I think your lizard brain is my lizard brain.
Your lizard brains have an issue there. It sounds mean you never heard
that term. No, there's your brain. It's like your your your your
instincts, like your animalistic instincts, your fucking bird brain. Yeah, your
goldfish brain, your bitch. Yeah, I don't know. I'm yeah,
there's just a lot. Yeah, I don't know. I don't like that,
Like it's a different color and the rest of me. That makes me
feel insecure. I think that's very common, it is, but it still
bothers me. Yeah, I mean because you don't see that, like when
all the vulvas I've seen is going to be like in an anatomy book and
those are usually like a picture. I think it is. I think from
my expertise, Like I didn't go to medical school, so I didn't see
you a bunch. Yeah, from from my expertise, coming from years of
watching corn. I think specifically more brown skinned people like Hispanics. Um,
you know, the various Middle Eastern cultures. Um, they're typically going to
have like a vagina that's darker. Yeah. Maybe even you know, even
lighter skinned black women will typically, like white women, aren't going to really
have that issue. Um. I think very dark skinned women don't have that
issue just because you know it blends in so I yeah, yeah, no,
I know that it's a common thing. It's just something that bugs me.
Sure it doesn't bother me. Well, that's good. I think she's
the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Thanks, I think you've got you
might as well just strap a Georgia O'Keefe painting between your legs because she art,
because she art. Well, thank you, Yeah, I appreciate it.
And I'm here for you on this journey. We'll get you there.
We'll get you there. There's too many journeys right now, I'm in my
journey era, and I will stop believing. Okay, so it's time to
look at that was a double journey joke. Oh that was good, No,
thank you. Yeah, So we decided to pivot because you know,
that only took about half the episode. So we're gonna pivot and instead of
splitting mine into a different episode, we're gonna do it now. We're gonna
do it now. So you're now going to take a explore what I got
going on, which you know isn't a whole lot. I'm excited. Hey,
beautiful bitches, have you heard of our Patreon yet? This is a
really great exclusive place where you can get two bonus odes a month, monthly
live streams, a private discord to chat with us, and all kinds of
bonuses and extras. You don't want to miss it, so head over to
Patreon, or you can click the link in a description. You can even
head to our website at www dot Crooked bunny me via dot com and click
the Bottled Up Bitch's icon. Join our Patreon, join the fun and enjoy
all the exclusive benefits to become a very important bitch. Would mind be easier
if I'm like more up? I thought you were going to be standing.
Yeah, that's kind of what I feel. I'm gonna do it on my
knees just so I'm a little closer to the mic. Okay, so we're
gonna we're gonna do this. You're ready h okay, like that have to
like look up at you and the mic. Sure, I thought you were
going to also kneel for some reason on the ground and not on the couch.
So it's it's a very intimidating stands. Okay, if I was on
the ground, I think i'd be a little too you beat. Your tentitles
would be too short. Yeah, okay, let me have it, Okay,
whip them out. Okay for all the ladies wanting to know, Adam
is not a He's not what you may call a grower, not a shower
like Adam's always showing out depends on the temperature. Yeah, but you and
even in your natural resting state, you're not itty biddy that about you.
He's always medium soft um uh, quite the opposite of me. You are
practically pink. You are a nice pinky tone about you. I very like
cute, little piggy. Sure pink. Yeah, you have a little bit
of a sway. Do do north? I do I lean to the left?
You do leave, um, but very lightly. It's just kind of
like it almost looks like a gust to wind, just like just lights just
being blown over it just this miidgi um Adam has really nice soft, muted
meted. You did medium brown pubies. Yeah. I don't shave down there
at all, and that is dude, that is your preference. Yeah,
but you it's not like you're insane. Yeah, you don't have like a
crazy bush like. Yeah, it's it's nice. I shaved once down there
and I think you cried. I wasn't a fan. So you've never shaved
in the last you know, eight years, really, yeah, but it's
nothing that's not even like longer than your chest hair something crazy. Yeah.
Um, so I love that about you. You're not like overly veny.
You have quite the pronounced captain's helmet. Sure, yeah, it kind of
looks like the back of Darth Vader. Do we need to pull up a
diagram of a of Darth Vader of a venis so yeah, full of a
diagram, but yeah, your your helmet is definitely the back of Vader,
like walking away. Sure. Um yeah, you're super cute, a good
girl. Yeah. I like, here's the shaft, and here's the base,
and here's your testicles. Yeah, pretty much everything's on the end.
Me to touch your colon, I get in there. Yeah, the diagram
of the this is your like I do the same thing you did, and
this is your ain. Um. Yeah, and you got these cute little
little testicles and they're also nice and pink, and they hold really nice in
my hand, in the palm of my hand. Yeah. Yeah, they're
real cute. And this is your taint. Yeah, hasn't make you feel
my teint's really raw right now? I'm sorry. Why what's been going on?
I don't know, it just happened. Sometimes I think I just sweat
real bad down there and then yeah it's been hot. Um. Yeah,
I I enjoy you. Do you want me to measure you? No?
Sure, Yeah, I don't know what this is. Well, isn't it
your rough finger? No? They always say that this part of your thumb
is an inch, Yeah, but that's not you have like put that part
of your thumb out to mine, you know what I mean? Like,
um, do you want me to find a ruler? You want me download
a ruler out? I don't want to do this. Let me hand me
your phone. I'm not No, we're not doing that. I don't want
to do that. Let you see the we're not doing I'm not going to
download a ruler up or anything. I just wanted something else? What else?
What are you looking at that? Why do you want something for scale?
We're not doing that. Why I'm not doing that on here, I'm
not doing that on recording? Be secure? Move on? Can I just
know for me? Well, you can get this out, like, let
me your phone. I really just want to know for scale, you're you're
a good size. We will keep it in barre you to a smartphone like,
you're pretty large. Yeah, because you're you're just about Yeah, you're
the entire length of your phone. Yeah, and I'm still a little sold.
You're so funny. No, I find you to be You're you're quite
large. This isn't the average The average penis is like three and a half
inches? Is that true? Yes, That's why I'm living. Nothing to
be ashamed about. Average penis size by country. Hey, should I have
out my pants on World Data dot Com? No? Okay, okay?
Is it sen off buckle? It's not enof buckle. Oh it's in centimeters.
Yeah, that makes sense, so people feel bigger about themselves. No,
no, because every other country in the world uses centimeters. Oh,
United States of America it's thirteen and a half centimeters. So what is that?
I don't know five point three inches, so I mean this is a
foot. This is six feet touch generally just throwing things out the wall with
Yeah, that's about twelve inches, so half a twelve inches is six I
would say you're right, you're average. Sure, yeah, I would say
you're a little you're probably like a little larger than average. Yeah. No,
I enjoy you, and I enjoy a little frog legs frogs. No,
you're you're super cute. I enjoy you. You're you're like the perfect
girth for a handy, like this is nice. This isn't it's not a
two hander. He's not like a wine bottle. Guys like, calm down,
but he is like, you know, like a white claw, like
you know, like he's most skinny cans but not like a skinny day.
Um. Yeah, I think you're doing great, and you're just getting bigger
and bigger as I touch you a little, to touch you a little,
your little moment, he's happy to see me. What can I say?
I bring a smile to the penis's face. Um, how do you feel
about it? Why are you so shameful about knowing your size? Let's let's
unpack that. I think just every type of my pants on. Now,
no, my pants are still off? Oh are they? Yeah? That's
fair. Well, I mean I at least sit down. Um, why
do you have the shame about me? I think I think every every guy
has that. Um, I think you know, like I think, like
you know, women, the society wants women to have like big boobs.
But I think that I don't know, I think there's more shame when it
comes to penis size. Maybe yeah, because you you know a lot of
and that's fair, but you know a lot of you a lot of like
women in culture, they're always like I want to dick, like that always
comes up, and so I think there's just a lot of shame, like
I think guys, because it is like society kind of says that your ability
to pleasure a woman is based on yourself based on the size of your penis,
sure, And society says that women don't want a small penis size.
Sure. And then there's also like a makeup point because if what you don't
make up, well you don't have in boobs, you might make up for
him. But it's like women have two options for sexual desire, Like those
are the two things that men are typically attracted to sexually. And it's like
guys kind of have one thing, yeah yeah, and no women is like,
well he doesn't have in penis length, he has in balls. Yeah
he's got a small piece, but big balls. Yeah, and even like
you know, big boobs and a big butt is physical things, but they're
more of like a visual yeah oh sure, sexual thing, whereas like a
penis, say, it's like a physical like my penis size is determining how
physically sometimes you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah that's fair.
So I think there is a lot more like pressure or shame around the
size of a penis than there is anything. And yeah, who says and
that makes sense? Yeah that makes sense. Yeah. I never considered the
feel thing because I don't want to. I also don't want to be rude.
But it's like, how often are guys being that vain as well?
Or they're like I don't like the way that she feels like there have been
a guy that's like had sex woman, not that I know of, I
don't think. I don't think so. And I think like I think if
anyone ever said that it's stupid, I think they're foolish shit and they're just
lucky to have that a woman would want to touch them in the first place.
Yeah, that's it's not a thing. Yeah, I've never experience in
the locker room. No yeah yeah, yeah, we didn't talk about like
she had a real type. Yeah yeah. Locker room talking is usually about
like the boobs in the ass. Yeah okay. But but even with that,
as much as like guys can be like I want a girl with a
big tits and a bad ass, like most guys are still like even if
the scriniest woman comes up to them with tiny little boobs and no ass,
they're still going to be like excited to have sex, like I was going
to say, especially because penetration piece of sex doesn't get brought up. It
like, according to you, doesn't get seem to be brought at least around
you. Yeah. Um, in regards to locker room talk or just guy
talk, I think that just goes to show like how much men really are
like and I mean this in a sweet way, just like very pathetic creatures
where they're just like in that moment, they are like winning. Yes,
I got to I got to penetrate. I am winner, Like at that
point, like there's no opinion Yeah, there's no like, well, I
had sex with her, but I wish she had bigger cans. And they'll
probably say that to them. They'll probably say that, yeah to their guy
friends. But like, but they're well I mean even just even with like
the boobs, like at the end of the fucking day, like the guy
just wants to have sex. Yeah, Like, well, because they're they're
lucky to do so. Yeah, I agree. I don't think I I
I'm all about that's the tried about that. That's on having big clip energy.
Yeah, I'd have sex with someone with no ass with no tips as
a goal. You know what, as long as they're nice people. You're
so cute. Yeah, cool, I enjoy yours. Well, I enjoy
yours. That's good because we this is what we got. We stuck with
it. How do you feel knowing that your balls are gonna get longer?
It happens, it's part of the it's part of the deal. Oh yeah.
A friend of mine asked me if you A friend of mine asked if
you were sacks underwear, and I said yes, And she's like, I
don't have any anymore. I have like one and they're pretty like worn down.
You've had it for a long time. Yeah, but she's like,
oh, because those are really big on like cupping the balls usually met with
bigger balls, wear those And I was like, oh no, I disagree.
Well that's not what they're They don't they're they're don't necessarily cut the balls.
I mean they do, but not in that sense. Do they prevent
your balls from sticking to your inner die that's more of what they're for.
They're more of a ball separation, yeah, yeah, than they are Like,
I don't think the ball size. I don't think like the bigger balls
thing has anything to do with it. I will say this, this is
something that makes me feel confident. Is I do think whenever I'm in like
my boxer breefs or like, you know, just a normal pair of underwear,
I do think I have like a media little package going on. You
do You're you show? Yeah? Very well. Yeah. Yeah. I'll
sometimes catch myself in the mirror just walking around and be like okay, ah,
like especially because I can compare myself because we watched a lot of Drag
Race, so I compare myself a lot to the pit crew. Oh,
I was like, you mean the the tweaky drag cree. No, I'm
talking about the pit crew that comes out, and I'm like, that could
be one of them. Other than like my physical my whole the rest of
my body, like I could I could stand up with that very specific pit
crew just me. Yeah, just a bunch of Harry seventies men. Yeah,
um yeah, no, you are. You look great. I was
talking to you know, we're going to a wedding in Mexico soon, and
I was talking about how I asked you if you would wear a speedo yeah,
and you were like yes, and like the box or brief speedo would
do like the speed I want I want to do, like the banana hammock
style. Oh fuck since when when we've talked, we talked about this and
you also were like I don't want to and that I want you to like
an old European man. Yeah, it was like the shorts. No,
that's fine and all, but I wanted you to look like a weird We
looked at him, We looked at him, and you didn't like him.
Um, okay with broxy're briefing, but yeah, that's why I'm like,
you look so good, like you got a nice package. Yeah. Yeah,
and some of the girls that we were with were like my husband could
not because he's a he's a grower, like he looked like a kindle.
No, you've got great genitals. I'd love your legs. I'd like to
squeeze your little I love. I want you to suffocate me with these guys.
That's gonna we can make that work because I want to suffocate by your
thighs. Yeah, I just kinda I kind of want that next time.
Maybe next time I give you a blowy, you can just kind of okay
that you would like that? I think so would that not make it difficult?
I don't know, because you're gonna be able to move your head.
I think I want to not move ever. Okay, I'm ready for the
penis is just kind of sitting in your mouth. I'm ready for forever sleep,
you know, the long nap good bye. No, I do.
I would love to be suffocated by these here little they're not a little,
these nice beefy thighs, your little chicken thighs. And I'm ready for it.
I'm ready for it. And I just love your body. Well,
I love your body, even if it looks like one of the men in
black bugs. I'm working on it, Jay Jay, that's what Adam looks.
I don't think I look like that anymore. Okay, I'm working on.
You'll always look like that in my eyes. There's something I'm looking like
that. It's because you're tall and lengthy. Lemmy, you're a really crazy
slender man limbs, and then you have like this cute little pot belly.
I'm working on. I like your cute little pot belly. I'm not telling
you to change anything. Don't do that. He is dying, my baby.
Um. Yeah, I can't wait to take these these things for a
ride later. It's a little the genital the genital um journey. It still
counts, but it's a little easier for you because you look at Sure,
we look at your ship all the time. Yeah, it's always out.
It's always out and about saying hello, Yeah yeah. Are guys mean in
the locker room and y'all compare junks? Well? How was that like in
middle school when some people were hitting huberty and some were not? Um,
how was that? I don't think we took showers like as a group intil
high school. Okay, Um, I don't remember anyone necessarily being mean,
other than like extremes and I don't even think one of them in a stream.
I remember there was one we used to like joke about him having like
a giant penis all the time. Um, and I don't think he did.
I think he was larger than theirs. I don't. I don't really
remember, but he was also he was. It was one of those things
where he was like, you know, there was like the dumbest guys have
the biggest penises, where he was just like dumb as a fucking bag of
rocks. And then there was a kid that I don't know if he was
a late bloomer or if he did genuinely have a micro penis. Um,
I've once, I've once connoodled with a millimeter Peter. Yeah, well,
don't call him that why he was a dig If he's an asshole, Yeah,
you can be both, but you can be a nice guy with and
find other ways to please women if you have a micro penis. Yeah,
I'm not saying he's not a capable That's why I call him. Yeah.
Um, and I'm trying to Unless you want me to call him by his
first last name, I'll dock him right now. No. No, Um,
I'm trying to remember if there was, I think there might have been
a little ribbing of this kid, um, but I don't think it was
like a continual ribbing. What does that mean? Like they like making fun
of him a little bit. I'm trying to remember. Okay, Well,
it sounds like in the locker room, y'all were pretty forgiving. Yeah,
I don't think they're really there. Really wasn't a whole lot of that.
I think growing up it maybe I think everyone was so afraid of being considered
gay that we were that everyone was like, don't, don't tell about our
genitals, no one, look, don't. I'm not even gonna act like
I saw anything because I don't want people to think I'm a gay like small
country town you know thing. Oh boy, Okay, even though I really
want to know, like how many of those guys turned out to be gay,
and I really want to know how many of them are gay and still
pretending not to be. I'm sure a lot of them because it's a small
town USA, they're not They're not going to live that life. Yeah,
they don't want to. There's a couple out there's a couple of them that,
which is really sad. I do wish those people to live their truth
and to be happy. Yeah. Well, now that we're both sitting here,
donald ducking it, well, we need to pooing it for this episode.
Any last thoughts conclusion? I think this was fun. Yeah, and
I think you have a beautiful vagina, beautiful volva. I think you have
a beautiful body like that. I love your body, and I think you
are a gorgeous woman. Thank you my favorite, You're my favorite. I
feel good about it. Yeah, h okay, Well, thank you for
being real kind and thank you guys for listening. Take a mirror out,
look at your bits, process your bits with your partner. It's really nice.
I think looking at it by myself would have been weird, would have
been that weird. It would have been just tougher. You're gonna get You're
gonna get your own. Let me see, I didn't even get to look
at the mirror. It looks like it's cheese slice. Know thyself, it's
like a cheese it. Well, thank you so much, Alice for the
naked mirror, because we we put it. Put it to work today.
Yeah, looked at all of our bits and pieces, and it's a journey
genitals, The genital journey you know. Yeah, but we're all bill different
and it's all good. But thanks you, thank you for listening, thank
you for looking at him for all these years. I would love to do
it anytime, anytime you want to do some gazing. Yeah, yeah,
you let me know too. Has it changed at all in the last eight
years? Do you think it changes? I don't think so. Okay,
no, not yet. No, I don't think it will unless have kids.
Sure to get older? Do you like parts of the vagina but parts
of the volva get larger? Sag or get larger. I don't know.
I've never been an old lady before. It's not something I want to in
my Google history either. Sure sure, sure, sure we will find out
together. Tune in, Tune in in thirty four years, we'll be right
here making this exact episode. You can bet at your bottom dollar on it.
We will be posting photos of our genitals in the description in the show
notes. Enjoy No, that's for the Patreon Join our Join our Patreon for
ten dollars a month. You two can look at our genitals. That's not
true. You don't know until you're in there. Alrighty, stay horny bitches.
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