WEBVTT

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Bootie you. Oh my goodness,
scammer too much. Hello, here comes

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a scary ghost and he's got claws
for fingers and his mouth is full of

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sores. Oh, ghastly, Betty, ghastly. Scary, right, ghastly

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I've always found. But I think
that it's a mundane detail that holds the

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true horror. A hang nail or
an over drawn checking account. Boo fightening,

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that's frightening. What did I mention? The checking account belongs to a

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mummy? Stop? But I'm want
to be my pants Stop. I know

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that that's not just a turn.
You know. What's scary is the thought

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because it's all on computers. Now, what if they what if that system

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goes down and you lose all your
own block points? Well, there are

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witches that know how to use computers. Of that, I am sure certain

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of it. You go to school
to be a computer witch. You know.

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I read? I read a Bible
to my computer once a month.

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Does it help? I don't know. Hi, y'all, Hello, y'all,

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this is candy Chat, the candy
Chat. I'm Betty ever saw,

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I'm tab the hutcheson. Oh and
we are just so delighted to have you

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with us, and bless you,
bless you for tuning in. If there

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is a king and Queen of the
candy calendar, Halloween's the king, and

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her is elegant, bride is East
and what do we want? A strange

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payer. Indeed, and they're offspring
must be Christmas. I mean, that's

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all that's left. Oh my goodness, here we go. Halloween is all

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upon us. As you all know, Halloween most popular candy holiday of the

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year. It rules the roost,
and so therefore I e aveak ma.

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This is oh la la, this
is our most fun episode. Fuck out.

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We're here to have fun and to
spook you in your mouth. We're

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just gonna spook all in your mouth. Well, we have so many get

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ready spooky, haunted, tasty treats
to try to night. It seems like

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every year something new comes out and
we have to try it. You'd think

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that they be all done with candy
ideas, you'd be wrong. They've got

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a lunatic trapped in a basement chain
to a bench, and he's all he

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does. He just spouts gibberish and
it all turns into candies. Right.

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He is in the basement and he
doesn't have anything to do. He can't

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live by himself, he can't be
trusted around. Now, off dry skin

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and think a new candies. Oh
exactly, and it's perfect genius. It's

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genius. Anyone can hold a job
if you know what they're good at.

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And this homicide a lunatic knows how
to think of candies. So bless him

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and bless the candy companies that keep
him employed. Well, let's just go

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through the list town. Oh my
goodness, we got a big list this

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year. Now. One interesting thing
that we've never had on an episode before

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is we all be we will be
tasting a candy that is outside of actual

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submission for our candy ranking. Oh
my goodness, because I don't like to

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double up, but we have something
that was just too interesting to pass up.

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So is it? Which aren't with
this? Which one? Is it?

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What is it? Tell them?
Tell everybody, tell me, go

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for it, hop to it,
Jump on the ball, Johnny, charge,

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Tabitha. Have you been drinking mochas
again? There's chocolate in him that

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doesn't make it candy. Yes,
I've been drinking mochas again. Listen,

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and I thank you very much not
to judge me for it. But I'm

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not your mother, and I'm not
responsible for you, but you do need

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to pump the brakes. Well,
I'll just I'll be the bear of my

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own judgment then, and Jesus will
be too. So if Jesus tells me

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to stop, I'll stop. But
for now, I appreciate. I just

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appreciate your input, Betty. But
that's the same thing that lunatic chain to

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a bench. That that is stanton
thing, small world. Maybe I could

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get a job thinking a new candy
brilliant. There's always a silver lining,

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silver line, praise Jesus. M
So first we have branches some more's candy

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corn. I think it's pronounced bracks, isn't it. Oh really, really,

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I was looking on the walls and
I don't see a college diploma on

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your wall or mine will. So
well, my goodness, Betty, I'm

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just saying snippety snap goes to crocodile. I don't know if we need to

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keep on down that path or not, but oh my goodness, I'm just

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telling you what I think. I'm
not going to lie to you, Betty.

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I also have bring drinking mochas.
We all didn't have one this morning,

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and now I'm just a crickle crack, Hey that I thought you needed

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amocha. I thought you needed amocha, and it turns out you do.

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It's so true. But instead of
amocha, what a perfect bridge from summertime

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camp fire fall? Wasn't that fun? Fall festivities as branches, smores,

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candy corn, probably steal brocks,
but uh, I think I'm interested to

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try these. That's just a fun
treat that doesn't necessarily enter competition. Wow,

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yeah, I thought it would bridge
the gap. We also have Eminem's

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white chocolate candy corn. H Yeah, I've never heard of such a thing.

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It was probably made by a wizard, probably sitting in somebody's chain screamed

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out. Should be candy corn,
I think in their mouth. At the

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same snicker bars should be made out
of nerds and starmers stars that he said,

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he said no, and then they
said some more candy because we're too

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busy making money from crazy man the
old man. We also today we got

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we have pumpkin spice Hershey kisses.
All the deliciousness of a pumpkin spice latte

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put into a room temperature chocolate.
I've never had one of them. Pumpkin

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spice Lottees. But I see so
many young women getting them. I think

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that it's part of a fitness craze, because they all thing to be on

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their way too or coming from yoga. That's true, and that's probably why

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I don't get them, as you
can probably tell, I don't. I'm

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a Christian, I don't. I
don't go in for that yoga. I

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don't go in. I don't know
rate vitals. No, we don't go

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in for that. Bring the blood
of the innocent. I don't have any

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neither. What hell, let's say. Oh and my goodness, we got

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jelly bellies villain villain flavors. That's
right now. These my cousin Danny went

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down to Florida and found a canny
outlet. Who these are? These are

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exotic, it's what these are,
that's right. These are imported from Florida,

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the jelly belly vile Villain's mix.
It's got a picture Captain huck on

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Aftain Hook. You're no good.
He looks like he's up to no good.

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You're a bad egg. He's a
bad egg. We also have knock

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knock well. Oh well, that
sounds like the dock knock knock knock out

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shower. Stop. It just made
of mocha. I just want to do

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right now? Who is it?
Who is it? Wife's Russell Stover jack

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booted flavor thugs. They're here to
serve a warrant on your taste buds.

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Oh my goodness, my tastebut's better
get in line or they'll they'll be coerced.

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Get your tongue up against the wall, tab or Russell, Come on

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end. I don't want no trouble
because they're pumpkin pie and milk chocolate.

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Has a few questions for you.
Goodness, Well, let's see if I

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can answer them. Oh, another
pumpkin flavored item for the thought, and

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I'll tell you what if uh if
that's not enough to get you to start

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talking to Russell Stover's home invasion patrol. What what do you what do you

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mean they're not afraid to bring out
the big guns and buy big guns?

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I mean the Russell Stover big Bite
petcown pie square. Oh my goodness,

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it's pecom piss center with milk chocolate
and the Graham Cracker on it. It's

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it's I gotta be honest, this
is just the s'more. But they replaced

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the marshmallow was something that I can't
even begin to imagine. I don't know

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what it is. It's it's masquerading
as peekan pie, though, I mean

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it's gonna I'm we'll see. Usually
I have some sort of expectation, but

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this excitement, Yeah, this defies
both of those things. Goodness, Well,

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we certainly have a full platter of
delicious treats to try to gnash.

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Yeah, thanks Russell Stover for breaching
the constitution and coming in without a warrant.

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Oh but don't worry, tab if
they lock us in a flavor cell.

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I was able to secret these upon
my person. What twicks ghost cookie

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candy bar. It's a Halloween theme
twigs And I'll tell you what. Twigs

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are delicious And I'm glad to see
them finally throw their hat in the alternat

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native holiday treat ring. Mm,
although I wish they'd go on just one

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step further, maybe made a little
pumpkin flavor in there. Oh interesting,

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welcome if you're hearing us, Phineas, Jay Twicks the Third, Maybe you

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could do that for next year or
even Thanksgiving. It's not too late,

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Phineas, do you have a date
to the Thanksgiving ball. Oh dab,

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you are terrible. I am not. Well, let's just did ride in

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then? Okay, what are we
gonna start with? First? Our non

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submission entry, Oh, our sort
of segue from one season to another.

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The s'mores candy corn by Brack's Bratchets. All right, that's good. That's

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good. That's good goodness. Not
a big fan of canny coing in general,

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but that's okay. M hmm,
all right here we got smores.

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Can you call m m m Well, I'll tell you what I feel like.

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Ever canned corn that comes out tries
to have a different flavor. They

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try to have a flavor of the
season. They try to swing for the

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fences. Yeah, and I swear
they come up with no balls and two

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strikes at least. Yeah. This
is a symphony of a regret that ends

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on a thickly sweet note. I'd
like to punch conductor in the face.

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Patty, calm yourself. We'll get
your mocha. Ask patient, all right,

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listen these things, I swear I
don't know if I don't know if

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the flavors should be called s'more or
some less. It makes the that was

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brilliant. Well, please take these
back should be some less. Oh my

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goodness, it makes the bones that
make up my mouth hurt. There's not

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too many, but boy, they
can cause trouble. I'll tell you what.

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The aftertaste has some of the s'more
in it. Yeah. Boy,

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that was an aftertaste that lingered for
no less than four weeks after I lasted

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them. The remnants of saliva in
my mouth is the only thing keeping the

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flavor alive in there. Oh well, guess what, branches? You caught

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a lucky break because you're not in
contention, you're an unofficial entry and um

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you've been shown the door. Oh
sorry, brocks, you don't rocks Mmm

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taste like socks. It's easier to
rhyme brocks than branches, So let's go

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with your way. Okay, moving
on. You have branches. You need

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to pick out some swatches of paint
to color your room that you eat candy

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in. Let's move on. Okay, how about Hershey kisses, pumpkins.

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I'm excited to try these. I
just love that pumpkin spice flavor added to

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everything. Boy. When when fall
rolls around, you know, August ends,

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or maybe towards the end of August, and everything starts to get and

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pumpkin spice in it. It's such
a sweet time of year. Nothing makes

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a fat white girl move faster than
a pumpkin spice anything. Mmmmmmmm Oh my

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goodness. If they made pumpkin spice
boots, those little, those little ugly

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boots that they wear, Uh,
you know, that would be a home

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run. They would buy a pumpkin
spice uggler boots and then they would every

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time they'd put them on, what
would happen to have and they would take

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them off every time. Every time
they'd take them off, it would smell

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like pumpkin spice instead of sweaty old
girl feet. Mmmmmmmmm. Don't you think

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so? I mean, we're coming
up with such good ideas. It's like

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we're chained in a basement. Well, I can tell you right off the

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bat the coloration was unexpected. Agreed, These look like little butterscotch morsels.

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But boy, I gotta tell my
brain, this ain't butter scotch. This

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Saint Barter scotch. This ain't butterscotch. My I just stuck up my mouth.

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Haven't even taken a bite. The
aroma, ohoh is powerful. Yeah,

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it's very pumpkin Wow. Nothing says
enjoyment like mouth sounds. This chocolate

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is supported by two columns. One
of the columns of pumpkin, the other

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columns spice. Sometimes the spice seems
taller and sometimes the pumpkin seems taller,

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but I think they're both the same
height. Yeah, this is something that

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achieves its goals, but I can't
applaud it for doing so. What a

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strange feeling. I am perplexed by
what I've eaten. I don't think I've

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ever had this particular feeling after trying
to treat me either. It says what

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it is, and it is what
it says. Yeah, but you'll still

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leave feeling empty. It's because,
no matter what you say, when you

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call it a hersy kiss, I
expect chocolate. And this had the consistency

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of chocolate, but the taste of
pumpkin and spice mostly most of the pumpkin

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was like an alternating pen gillum flavors. Wow. And we were just tied

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to a table in the middle of
waiting our dude. Oh my goodness.

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And if we didn't get that pumpkin
or spice flavor, we were not falling

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a pit of indecisive news. That's
and I feel like I'm just gripping the

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edge of that cold run right now. What an interesting flavor I would I

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would encourage other people to try this. However, don't buy a full bag

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if you can avoid it. I
mean, this is a this is an

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interesting epicurean test of your flavor palette. But I wouldn't go making a meal

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out of it. Don't make a
meal. Unlike the other candies we recommend,

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you certainly could maybe like the next
one we like, remember from four

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years ago, licorice salad, a
delightful treat. I had a particular hard

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time warming up that jet puff marshmallow
to pour in as dressing, but we

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did it. It tasted like Little
House on the Prairie. To keep with

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our theme of masquerading candy, what's
up, we have M and m's that

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are supposed to taste like candy corn. It's like, here's candy A and

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here's flavor B. And watch your
brain just get pickled and puzzled as it

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figures out which is which. I
tell you what, I don't I get

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kind of tired of candy corn.
Yeah it is, it's a standard.

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It's all right for what it is
never in the mood for it though.

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Yeah, I agree, all right, here we go. H white chocolate

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succeeded gout candy corn Neil. Yeah, I do not care for this one.

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00:16:41.240 --> 00:16:47.799
Tablet. Wow, this one's pretty
powerful. If this one we're wearing

201
00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:51.759
a mask, it'd be see through. Oh, oh my goodness. It's

202
00:16:51.759 --> 00:16:56.279
as though somewhat at M and M
said, hey, remember all that fake

203
00:16:56.360 --> 00:17:00.279
white chocolate we got from that from
whose beckastan M? Well, just pour

204
00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:03.640
a whole bunch of extra sugar in
it and we'll give it to him for

205
00:17:03.640 --> 00:17:10.359
for for Halloween or something. I
I can't even I'm even string this together.

206
00:17:10.480 --> 00:17:15.799
I'm disgusted. Literally. Wow,
Oh what a response. There was

207
00:17:15.880 --> 00:17:21.839
no candy corn flavor there, but
what there was was was like a horrible

208
00:17:22.039 --> 00:17:26.519
specter of chocolate risen from a dusty
graveful of worms. Wow, Betty,

209
00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:32.319
that's that's moving. Oh my goodness, I'm moving assessment because I'm I'm just

210
00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:37.119
speaking my pain aloud. Oh that's
good. That's good. You shouldn't keep

211
00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:40.400
it bottled up because then the moko
get you. You're so right. Oh

212
00:17:40.480 --> 00:17:44.799
that was horrible. Wow, But
you know what, Nope, we save

213
00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:48.799
it till the end, we're gonna
taste everything. But I think that I

214
00:17:48.920 --> 00:17:53.519
lost a significant portion of my will
to live. If you can muster up

215
00:17:53.519 --> 00:18:00.839
what's left, Betty, I will
soldier on. Let's face these ugs that

216
00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:06.319
are Rustle Stover and his crew,
I think it's time for a little palate

217
00:18:06.400 --> 00:18:11.480
clanser. What's that Jelly Bellies file
Villain mix? Well, sorry, Rustle

218
00:18:11.519 --> 00:18:15.240
Stover, you're gonna You're gonna be
pushed to the back of the bus because

219
00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:22.279
Jelly Bellies is getting on two two
beep beep. All right. I'm looking

220
00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:25.519
at the back of the packaging,
which is really interesting. It even has

221
00:18:25.559 --> 00:18:29.160
a little two and from box all
so they want to give it away.

222
00:18:29.200 --> 00:18:33.720
The blue ones are blueberry, the
green ones are sour apple, The oranges

223
00:18:33.799 --> 00:18:37.400
ones are orange, the red ones
are cherry, and the purple ones are

224
00:18:37.400 --> 00:18:41.279
great straightforward. Having reached the end
of that list, I feel like an

225
00:18:41.319 --> 00:18:45.880
idiot for having begun it. But
with Jellybellies you never can tell what's the

226
00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:52.039
yellow ones that might be orange?
Okay, I need to replace a bulb

227
00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:55.440
in that lamp, so that might
be why I'm doing You know what,

228
00:18:55.920 --> 00:18:59.759
These are very very shiny. They
look like a little gemstones. I'm just

229
00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:02.880
want to say it. Looking at
these, I feel like they're gonna give

230
00:19:02.920 --> 00:19:10.640
me cancer. Well, what isn't
these days? True? Bottoms up all

231
00:19:10.759 --> 00:19:17.960
orange first, Sequestering by flavor is
a good strategy. The Prince of jelly

232
00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:23.200
Beans cherry Next. Oh, I'm
taking a trip to Appletown and it's tart

233
00:19:23.240 --> 00:19:30.480
and tanging. Next stop for me, The Prince of jelly Beans M does

234
00:19:30.519 --> 00:19:33.440
a little number. I'm a denter's. Yeah, these are delicious as advertised,

235
00:19:34.160 --> 00:19:40.839
jelly Belly, thank you for coming
to our rescue, Grapesburg. These

236
00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:44.759
colors are not natural. They don't
occur in real life. I think they

237
00:19:44.839 --> 00:19:48.960
use mercury to get them shining like
metal. They're they're metallic. M.

238
00:19:49.559 --> 00:19:53.160
But you know what what you see
is what you get. And when I

239
00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:56.640
see anything that says jelly Belly,
I know I'm want to get delicious flavors

240
00:19:56.720 --> 00:20:00.160
and I have received it in spades. And it is finally, wash,

241
00:20:00.319 --> 00:20:04.480
wash, wash that terrible candy out
of my hair. Boy, I forgot

242
00:20:04.480 --> 00:20:08.440
all about that Eminem's for a minute. Mmmm. It's nice to know that

243
00:20:08.480 --> 00:20:15.680
there's candy that you enjoy eating.
Mm. And we're right back at Cherry

244
00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:21.039
to me, m all right,
well done, villain villain villain bats.

245
00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:26.599
What a buck? What a fun
way to package completely original candy with an

246
00:20:26.599 --> 00:20:32.720
interesting color scheme but flavors you can
accomprehend and trust. Put the trust back

247
00:20:32.759 --> 00:20:36.000
in candy. Thank you, Jelly
Belly, Thank you, Jelly Belly.

248
00:20:36.559 --> 00:20:40.599
Now I think it's time to say
no, thank you or a reluctant okay

249
00:20:41.000 --> 00:20:45.000
to Russell Stover. That's right.
You're handcuffed to a table in a room

250
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:48.720
with a one way mirror and in
walks, Officer Stover, you know it's

251
00:20:48.759 --> 00:20:53.720
over all right, Russell Stover.
Pumpkin pie in milk chocolate. I think

252
00:20:53.759 --> 00:20:57.119
it's you know, it says it's
shaped like a pumpkin. But what do

253
00:20:57.160 --> 00:21:00.799
you want to bet when we open
this it looks like greeve. I'm gonna

254
00:21:00.799 --> 00:21:07.319
bet it looks like a lukewarm turd
that fell off the manure truck once again.

255
00:21:07.759 --> 00:21:14.799
Oh and you're right. Here's here's
my assessment. Right off, the

256
00:21:14.839 --> 00:21:21.240
bat looks like a mutant York patty
or something that's grown a little peepee.

257
00:21:21.440 --> 00:21:25.519
Yep, it's like a York It's
like a York peppermint patty that has some

258
00:21:25.720 --> 00:21:32.559
sort of illegal inclusion in it.
Mm hmmmmmm. Anatomy and anatomic anatomically correct

259
00:21:32.839 --> 00:21:37.200
York patty. Oh, this one's
a boy. Mind's a boy too.

260
00:21:37.599 --> 00:21:41.880
And it's not a pumpkin. Here
we go. That's what it is.

261
00:21:41.680 --> 00:21:48.200
It's a pumpkin York patty. Yeah, right, be strong, tap well

262
00:21:49.720 --> 00:21:56.759
rich huh creamy Yeah. And I'm
not fulfilling. It's coating my vote,

263
00:21:56.839 --> 00:22:02.559
my voice box. I think it
is. I will not take another bite

264
00:22:02.559 --> 00:22:06.880
of this unless forced to at gunpoint. You maybe I know, and even

265
00:22:06.920 --> 00:22:10.039
then I will resist. I want
to know where that gun's pointed first.

266
00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:14.519
If it's a clean through the shoulder, you fire away. I am doing

267
00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:18.480
it well. I mean I have
to be honest as though I do not

268
00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:22.119
enjoy it. I cannot be upset
at Russell Stover for this because you tell

269
00:22:22.160 --> 00:22:29.319
me tab when there's a package that
says milk chocolate with pumpkin pie, and

270
00:22:29.359 --> 00:22:33.319
then you give me something that is
those things like, for example, a

271
00:22:33.440 --> 00:22:37.119
s'more made out of toothpaste and oyster
crackers? Can I get mad if I

272
00:22:37.160 --> 00:22:41.440
don't enjoy that? I don't think
I can. No, No, that's

273
00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:48.279
a good point, and Russell Stover
delivered as promised on this candy. While

274
00:22:48.359 --> 00:22:53.400
I personally didn't enjoy it, those
of you who have head injuries or perhaps

275
00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:59.880
some sort of horrible brain issue might
enjoy that flavoring and might want to go

276
00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:03.079
back for more. And I guarantee
these things will be sold for five cents

277
00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:07.039
apiece for the next six to eight
weeks following the holiday. You're gonna see

278
00:23:07.079 --> 00:23:11.000
them in spades at the local Pigla
Dog. That's right, these things are

279
00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:17.079
actually gonna be packaged up with Broncos
Super Bowl champion gear to be shipped off

280
00:23:17.079 --> 00:23:21.200
to other parts of the world that
need candy and T shirts. I don't

281
00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:23.319
understand that reference, but I think
you're right. Well, you know they

282
00:23:23.319 --> 00:23:26.559
always print all the shirts to see
who's gonna win a Super Bowl. They

283
00:23:26.599 --> 00:23:30.559
print both sides, and then the
side that loses they ship them tow for

284
00:23:30.599 --> 00:23:33.960
a couple of kids. My husband
watches a Super Bowl and I just don't

285
00:23:33.960 --> 00:23:38.319
pay attention. I stay in the
kitchen and cook. Well sometimes I just

286
00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:41.720
read the cookbook. I don't even
cook. I have a little TV in

287
00:23:41.720 --> 00:23:47.000
my kitchen. I do both.
That's why I'm a bad cook and you're

288
00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:52.160
a good multitasker. Yeah, I
guess though. Moving on, what else

289
00:23:52.279 --> 00:23:56.319
we got? Well, I think
it's time for a little visit from a

290
00:23:56.359 --> 00:24:04.240
friendly ghost named twit. Yay,
what a nice change of pace. Although

291
00:24:04.640 --> 00:24:07.720
I tell you what, Betty,
if this TwixT didn't look like a ghost

292
00:24:07.720 --> 00:24:11.319
when we get it out of the
package, you're gonna have to calm down.

293
00:24:11.400 --> 00:24:17.839
Somebody. Booguinty, booguinty. Oh, mister Phineas Jay Twicks the third

294
00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:22.519
you know me? Look at him? Oh, he looks so sinister and

295
00:24:22.599 --> 00:24:26.319
malicious. I'm gonna bite right into
this. This is how I fight ghosts.

296
00:24:27.799 --> 00:24:37.359
M you can't go wrong m with
cookie covered in chocolate and caramel.

297
00:24:38.119 --> 00:24:41.279
This is I mean, it's a
format change that has been too long in

298
00:24:41.319 --> 00:24:45.799
the making. Where you, being
Phineas Twigs, you are late to throwing

299
00:24:45.880 --> 00:24:49.640
your hat into the ring of Halloween. I mean, Rhesus has been making

300
00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:53.599
pumpkins for who knows how many years. Well, it's about time he got

301
00:24:53.599 --> 00:25:00.039
that machine to make anything other than
a stick shape cookie. He must it

302
00:25:00.119 --> 00:25:03.480
cost him a pretty penny to have
the machinery to do this, plus the

303
00:25:03.519 --> 00:25:07.000
sculptor to make that terrifying ghost.
Now. One interesting thing, though,

304
00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:12.880
I file that I'm overwhelmed by the
density of this treat for a thin stick

305
00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:17.279
really is the way to go.
I mean, I'm not mad, and

306
00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:22.160
I'm certainly not kicking it out of
bed freaking crackers, but I think maybe

307
00:25:22.319 --> 00:25:26.880
the two stick cylinders might be the
best presentation. You're fine, it's Jay.

308
00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:32.960
You just never cease to amaze.
You are appeasing everybody. You appease

309
00:25:33.079 --> 00:25:37.440
the classic crowd with your classic design
that works on all levels, and you

310
00:25:37.480 --> 00:25:44.720
appease the crowd that wants something new, something halloweeny, Tabitha, do you

311
00:25:44.759 --> 00:25:48.799
smell burning toast right now? I
sure don't. Just check in half your

312
00:25:48.799 --> 00:25:53.400
face. Stop moving. Oh well, it does this sometimes, all right,

313
00:25:53.559 --> 00:25:57.640
And it's time to move into the
final act of this symphony of sweet

314
00:25:57.680 --> 00:26:06.079
delicious. Russell Stover has not done
with us yet, and it's time for

315
00:26:06.119 --> 00:26:11.279
me to tempt you. Tabbot.
You always save it to the end,

316
00:26:11.319 --> 00:26:12.759
and I think, well, this
time she's gonna forget it, And then

317
00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:17.000
she doesn't forget it, and I'm
like, oh, I gotta do something

318
00:26:17.079 --> 00:26:18.480
crazy, and I don't end up
doing it, and then I go home

319
00:26:18.519 --> 00:26:22.839
because I'm all sad I didn't complete
the challenge, and then I eat a

320
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:27.200
bunch, and I drink so many
mochas that it makes my husband say what

321
00:26:27.279 --> 00:26:30.119
are you doing drinking mochas again?
And I say, yes, I'm drinking

322
00:26:30.160 --> 00:26:33.440
mochas again and he says, well, why don't you do something constructive?

323
00:26:33.480 --> 00:26:36.920
And I said, well, I
already changed the drapes out. Why are

324
00:26:36.920 --> 00:26:38.519
you yelling at me? And he
said, I'm not yelling at you,

325
00:26:38.640 --> 00:26:41.359
I'm just hungry. And I said, well, maybe there's some ham in

326
00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:45.839
the frigerator and he said no,
I don't think there's ham in there,

327
00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:52.039
because nobody's going to Pigla Dog Lately. A classic Thursday Shane Spiral. Well,

328
00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:57.200
a tail as old as time is
there ham is their Pigla dog.

329
00:26:57.759 --> 00:27:06.279
Find out next day I got saved
by bones lave on that one. Well,

330
00:27:06.440 --> 00:27:11.519
my temp Tabitha is very simple.
That got my fruit, and perhaps

331
00:27:12.359 --> 00:27:18.440
in its simplicity lies it's complexity.
I simply want you to eat the entire

332
00:27:18.519 --> 00:27:26.720
thing. Oh why yea, I
have tag bite. Yeah, it clearly

333
00:27:26.880 --> 00:27:33.440
is labeled as such. It's called
a big bite. Oh no. Oh,

334
00:27:33.559 --> 00:27:37.359
So once again, this is the
Russell Stover pecalm pie on a Graham

335
00:27:37.359 --> 00:27:42.039
cracker. But you could build this
building in San Francisco and live all your

336
00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:47.079
days in there without fear of earthquakes
with these things. That's how that's how

337
00:27:47.160 --> 00:27:49.519
much like a birthday? Are Well, it's not earthquakes in San Francisco,

338
00:27:49.559 --> 00:27:56.039
I'm afraid of all right, Well
you're gonna try it too, right,

339
00:27:56.240 --> 00:28:00.400
Oh yeah, I've got mine right
here. I'm just not morally of neligated

340
00:28:00.440 --> 00:28:03.759
to finish it. Oh look at
you tearing into it. Oh. I

341
00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:08.400
smell it, and it's just it's
redolent. It's just rich flavored. I'm

342
00:28:08.440 --> 00:28:14.799
not a big fan of pecans.
Were than this is a living nightmare for

343
00:28:14.920 --> 00:28:21.680
you. Got a toasted taste,
real soft in the middle, Gert.

344
00:28:22.200 --> 00:28:26.480
It's just like juxtaposed with that crunchy
exterior the Graham Cracker. It's like that

345
00:28:27.720 --> 00:28:33.720
they made a paste out of brown
sugar. Yes they did. Go on,

346
00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:40.960
I don't need to eat anymore of
that. The pecans get swallowed in

347
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:44.480
the crunchiness of the Graham cracker.
You can't even tell you crunching a nut.

348
00:28:45.279 --> 00:28:48.640
No, but you're I'm crunching a
neut. It's falling apart. You're

349
00:28:48.680 --> 00:28:55.640
almost halfway through. Oh tab.
To those of you listening, i'd like

350
00:28:55.720 --> 00:29:00.240
you to imagine taking an inch thick. I mean, just fill the bottom

351
00:29:00.279 --> 00:29:07.640
of a of a big milk glass
with water and then a cup of brown

352
00:29:07.720 --> 00:29:11.680
sugar a cup and then eat the
kitchen cup because that is you can mix

353
00:29:11.720 --> 00:29:17.119
it if you want, but then
you gotta drink it. I'm enjoying the

354
00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:21.680
look of angry determination in your face, Tab, exactly what I got.

355
00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:25.559
Get mad, Tab, This is
like that movie where j Loo had to

356
00:29:25.640 --> 00:29:30.319
kill the guy what kept trying to
kill him? Who I'm determined to finish

357
00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:33.039
this tallenge. All this tallenge might
finish you. You know, we have

358
00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:38.279
a rule before each episode, we
take both of our blood test machines and

359
00:29:38.359 --> 00:29:44.599
we lock him in the car.
Those aren't allowed near this. Here we

360
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:49.960
go. You're the bath around.
Your blood sugar's never coming down. You're

361
00:29:51.039 --> 00:29:56.680
the beast around you. Tell you, I fall asleep and then you're gonna

362
00:29:56.720 --> 00:30:00.279
die and you're sleep because you got
too much blood sugar and your footle turned

363
00:30:00.319 --> 00:30:07.160
black. Is that's what happens?
Well, it's not gonna diea beat us.

364
00:30:07.880 --> 00:30:12.759
Betty got a sneaky way you're sneaking
up on you. Well, it's

365
00:30:12.759 --> 00:30:18.319
easy for it to sneak up on
you because you're missing a foot? What

366
00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:23.440
does that have to do with my
hearing? There? Betty? What how

367
00:30:23.440 --> 00:30:29.039
about we rank them? Oh,
challenge complete? You did it, Tabitha.

368
00:30:29.200 --> 00:30:33.200
You just I the tigerd right through
that. Well, let's start at

369
00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:40.799
the bottom, okay, Aminms you
owe me. You have transgrasped against me

370
00:30:41.440 --> 00:30:45.960
and my house and my friends.
And I think, on Jesus wow,

371
00:30:45.559 --> 00:30:49.200
and I will not soon forget what
has happened this day. And don't forget.

372
00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:55.200
We're coming into mint delicious Christmas times
for em and M's that I used

373
00:30:55.200 --> 00:30:59.440
to trust. I used to trust
them, But now now when I know

374
00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:02.519
that there's someone there that doesn't care
about me, we don't know what to

375
00:31:02.640 --> 00:31:06.400
think. The bottom of the list, I'll tell you what the bottom of

376
00:31:06.440 --> 00:31:10.079
my list was, candy corn Smaller's. Well, they weren't, they weren't

377
00:31:10.079 --> 00:31:15.200
in submission. Then it's Eminem small
Y yep, yeah, candy corn corn,

378
00:31:15.480 --> 00:31:18.759
candy arm and arms, Oh my
goodness. After that, moving up,

379
00:31:19.160 --> 00:31:26.440
Russell Stover Peak and pie Russell Stover's
the pecan pie. I I can't

380
00:31:26.519 --> 00:31:30.799
picture in my mind a human being
that would enjoy this, Like, what

381
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:33.359
would that person look like? What
are their interests? What is their home

382
00:31:33.400 --> 00:31:38.440
smell like what happened to them as
a child. I have two money questions

383
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:44.880
and not enough answers. Not an
American Russell Stover pecom pie in a square

384
00:31:44.880 --> 00:31:52.200
package big bite format is an abomination
anyway. But again, um, I

385
00:31:52.279 --> 00:31:55.559
put it above the M and ms
because the M and m's are deceitful.

386
00:31:55.759 --> 00:31:59.640
Oh that's true, trusting eminem.
You think it's gonna be a tasty true

387
00:31:59.720 --> 00:32:01.960
with the peeking big bite. Yeah, you get what your pa. You

388
00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:05.960
know. They put the picture on
there, which is very brave of them.

389
00:32:06.079 --> 00:32:08.279
Big letters. Yeah, they're very
clear. I imagine that there was

390
00:32:08.319 --> 00:32:12.599
a lawsuit that required them to put
the big lettering on. I bet you're

391
00:32:12.680 --> 00:32:16.079
right, and I bet you're right, so so, I mean, at

392
00:32:16.160 --> 00:32:21.680
least it's on. It's like just
yeah, just like the pumpkin Yeah,

393
00:32:21.839 --> 00:32:24.279
the pumpkin pie from Russell Stove,
which I'll put next up on the list,

394
00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:31.039
the pumpkin pie chocolate Russell Stover thing
thing. It's once again, it's

395
00:32:31.079 --> 00:32:36.319
a it's a horse's hockey pucks with
a little thing sticking out the side and

396
00:32:36.440 --> 00:32:40.440
they call it a pumpkin. It's
right, and the flavoring is yes,

397
00:32:40.799 --> 00:32:47.599
if they just had, if they
if they just had a bullhockey that that

398
00:32:47.720 --> 00:32:52.480
was shaped like a triangle. Is
that what they're gonna service for Christmas?

399
00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:58.680
You know what? I know,
because they've already got their coconut wreath sides

400
00:32:58.799 --> 00:33:05.519
downpath. No, but there's somebody
there going, uh, Russell, I

401
00:33:05.640 --> 00:33:10.519
have an ideal. Uh it's called
poopy triangle. And you know what,

402
00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:14.480
I wouldn't put it past him.
And you know, you know what Russell's

403
00:33:14.480 --> 00:33:16.160
gonna say. You know what he's
gonna say, Okay, could you put

404
00:33:16.160 --> 00:33:21.359
some coconut in it? That's what
he's gonna say, because that's his favorite.

405
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:25.759
That's what he's into watching other people
eat his his his dirty old coconuts.

406
00:33:27.400 --> 00:33:29.960
Put my coconuts in your mouth,
it's right, and he eat him

407
00:33:30.039 --> 00:33:35.480
up, says Russell's stover. No, thank you. Moving on, We're

408
00:33:35.480 --> 00:33:37.440
gonna put my coconuts in your mouth
and spook all in your mouth. It's

409
00:33:37.480 --> 00:33:43.279
Halloween. You need to leave a
small amount of room for in your windo.

410
00:33:44.279 --> 00:33:46.519
And then and then you know what, and then what then, just

411
00:33:46.559 --> 00:33:50.279
for just for ad an effect,
I'm gonna throw some pekins in there.

412
00:33:50.920 --> 00:33:54.359
Pekins. M mmmmm. What's next
on the list. We only got two

413
00:33:54.400 --> 00:33:59.400
more? Don't wait, right,
I would say Hersh's pumpkins, passing kisses,

414
00:34:00.400 --> 00:34:05.119
kisses, the enigma of the ages. I don't feel like it was

415
00:34:05.160 --> 00:34:07.840
a kiss so much as it was
like a hug from a friend that lasted

416
00:34:07.880 --> 00:34:13.440
too long and had some wandering hand
awkward like where are we? What?

417
00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:17.760
What just transpired between you and I? Did things just accelerate or decelerate?

418
00:34:19.559 --> 00:34:22.119
Or are you leaving on a long
vacation or are you trying to stay for

419
00:34:22.199 --> 00:34:27.360
the weekend? Yeah, it's my
question of a Hershey's group. This yeah,

420
00:34:27.400 --> 00:34:31.119
this, this hug made no sense, pump pumpkin spice Hershey's group.

421
00:34:31.280 --> 00:34:35.519
It was like a French It was
like a French kiss on the cheek.

422
00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:39.119
What are you trying to get done
with that? Hersh's Group. So I

423
00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:43.519
have to put it there because I
just but I'm not gonna say it didn't

424
00:34:43.559 --> 00:34:45.679
like it. I have to encourage
everyone to try it because it is,

425
00:34:46.119 --> 00:34:51.920
truly, it is one of the
greatest mysteries of this holiday season. It

426
00:34:51.960 --> 00:34:54.800
truly is. Just try one.
I don't know. He didn't want more,

427
00:34:54.920 --> 00:34:59.159
but if you do, there's bags
of them. But I wouldn't buy

428
00:34:59.159 --> 00:35:02.159
a whole bag, like you said, next up, I would put number

429
00:35:02.159 --> 00:35:07.159
one. This is nope, second
to the two, number two, and

430
00:35:07.239 --> 00:35:10.039
I want to know how you feel
about this. I'm putting the Twigs ghost.

431
00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:15.719
Oh yeah, well I forgot.
It was a dance rich treat.

432
00:35:15.760 --> 00:35:17.559
But we all know what to expect
from Twigs. And I have to say,

433
00:35:17.719 --> 00:35:23.199
unlike a certain r s when they
say Russell Stover, that's it,

434
00:35:23.679 --> 00:35:28.960
that's it. When they say when. When When Phineas Jay Twicks the third

435
00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:31.039
says I want it to look like
a ghost. He says, his team

436
00:35:31.480 --> 00:35:36.519
a ghost sculptor, and I want
to be terrified and then delighted. Name

437
00:35:36.719 --> 00:35:39.679
your price, He said he did
the job right. He probably went to

438
00:35:39.679 --> 00:35:44.079
the US Mint. Yeah, he
went to those people that engraved things and

439
00:35:44.159 --> 00:35:47.920
said, stop making dollar bills,
make me a ghost. And the first

440
00:35:47.920 --> 00:35:51.760
ghost, I'll bet you dollars to
donuts, look like Andrew Jackson. It

441
00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:54.559
looked like Andrew Jackson. And he
said, no, two ghoulish. Back

442
00:35:54.639 --> 00:36:00.519
to the workshop, go back to
sculp, make it something and the kids

443
00:36:00.519 --> 00:36:04.360
will lack and see. And that's
the difference, Russell. When you have

444
00:36:04.480 --> 00:36:08.079
standards, when you think about what
you do before it's done. Rather than

445
00:36:08.119 --> 00:36:13.599
you just well, you don't call
crap pumpkins. Yeah, I don't feed

446
00:36:13.639 --> 00:36:15.599
a baby a whole bunch of yogurt, squeeze it and put it into a

447
00:36:15.639 --> 00:36:21.159
package and ship it out the door
the baby. No, what comes out

448
00:36:21.159 --> 00:36:23.079
of the baby when you squeeze it? Oh, I was trying to be

449
00:36:23.199 --> 00:36:28.679
delicate. Well I didn't follow it
at all. Poop, I see there,

450
00:36:28.719 --> 00:36:32.679
it is well well done. TWI
thank you twigs, you have you.

451
00:36:32.880 --> 00:36:38.280
I just love how you always exceed
expectations. And then finally our Bible.

452
00:36:39.320 --> 00:36:47.800
How about the amazing and tasty jellybellies
jelly be villain And here's what I

453
00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:52.480
love about it, villain bean even
they even they try to get inside your

454
00:36:52.480 --> 00:36:58.079
head. They call it the vile
Villain's mix, as though they don't taste

455
00:36:58.159 --> 00:37:05.000
good, These are anything vile.
Classic flavors, interesting packaging, and somehow

456
00:37:05.039 --> 00:37:09.800
incorporating bits of actual steel. They
were metallic. I thought that's for your

457
00:37:10.519 --> 00:37:15.639
esthetic pleasure. They even refer to
them as jewels. What house all the

458
00:37:15.719 --> 00:37:21.519
flavoring? Says? Jewel, blueberry, jewel, sour apple. Oh yeah,

459
00:37:21.599 --> 00:37:24.239
it's an interesting thing. And I
just learn all the jewel their gifts.

460
00:37:24.239 --> 00:37:30.320
They're called jewel. Why can't you
do like sapphire blueberry, an emerald

461
00:37:30.599 --> 00:37:37.519
sour apple, ruby ruby cherts Call
mister belly, Amethyst grape Call, mister

462
00:37:37.679 --> 00:37:44.960
belly. Tiger's Eye's orange? What's
it? Amber? Orange? Road?

463
00:37:45.039 --> 00:37:50.320
Across at ruby red grapefruit? Chall? Sedini cherry? Did you just bark?

464
00:37:50.360 --> 00:37:57.840
Apple? Who were anyway? Jella
bellies are tasty? They were lacious,

465
00:37:58.360 --> 00:38:02.079
A change from all the chocolate,
the rich sugary and how much fun

466
00:38:02.199 --> 00:38:07.159
is it? Da have a Disney
villain on the front. Oh, Captain

467
00:38:07.280 --> 00:38:10.320
hook he's gonna he's gonna hook you
on these delicious treats. He hooked me

468
00:38:10.440 --> 00:38:15.320
on his flavor. M I'll tell
you well done, Jelly Belly. Oh

469
00:38:15.400 --> 00:38:20.800
you've saved us again. That's all
we got. I'm afraid that was everything

470
00:38:20.840 --> 00:38:23.800
we have for this amazing holiday season. I am so glad that it's not

471
00:38:23.880 --> 00:38:27.960
anywhere near like it was last year. I know. And if you see

472
00:38:28.360 --> 00:38:31.840
a crazy candy, you see Russell
Stover up to no good, you let

473
00:38:31.960 --> 00:38:37.039
us know. Sure, I don't
know how you do it, but I

474
00:38:37.079 --> 00:38:40.400
trust your engine figure it out.
You're very smart people, and you love

475
00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:45.039
candy like we do. And if
you don't you do by now, that's

476
00:38:45.119 --> 00:38:51.239
right. So for this amazing and
wondrous and it's sometimes perplexing and maddening and

477
00:38:51.400 --> 00:38:57.960
disgusting episode of Candy Chat, I
have been Betty Eberthought, and I have

478
00:38:58.039 --> 00:39:15.079
been Tabitha Hutchinson. Goodbye, y'all. God blast aye that emine that made

479
00:39:15.119 --> 00:39:20.960
me want to shave my tongue.
Mike's still on, Oh,