WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.360 --> 00:00:05.160 The crazy things you do when you' re in love. Reproduction, distribution, 2 00:00:05.839 --> 00:00:10.800 public display and any other unauthorized use of this work, in whole or 3 00:00:10.800 --> 00:00:14.759 in part without the express written permission of the copyright holder, shall be prohibited. 4 00:00:17.559 --> 00:00:25.000 This work is protected by U S copyright laws and international treaties. All 5 00:00:25.039 --> 00:00:29.879 trademarks and trade names mentioned in this work are the property of their respective owners 6 00:00:29.960 --> 00:00:36.200 and are used here only for descriptive purposes. Any unauthorized use of this audio 7 00:00:36.240 --> 00:00:43.039 book will violate copyright and may be subject to legal sanctions. Copy riy two 8 00:00:43.039 --> 00:00:47.560 thousand twenty- four stripe Lilí' s secret law. All rights reserved. 9 00:00:49.799 --> 00:00:56.679 Two years later and dozens of flirts. In the meantime, I experienced my 10 00:00:56.679 --> 00:01:00.960 first platonic love. As much as platoon referred to something else. It is 11 00:01:00.039 --> 00:01:07.640 commonly considered platonic. That unrequited, unattainable and seemingly impossible love. Well, 12 00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:12.359 it happened to me with a high school girl. Betsy. Although we were 13 00:01:12.439 --> 00:01:18.760 going to different classes, we were part of the same group of friends, 14 00:01:19.079 --> 00:01:22.760 she was as beautiful as she was introverted. I rarely spoke to her and 15 00:01:22.799 --> 00:01:26.599 when she did, she didn' t tell me about her and she didn 16 00:01:26.599 --> 00:01:30.480 ' t care about me. Betsy took such a little notice of me that 17 00:01:30.560 --> 00:01:34.599 I had to imagine our relationship as a couple. At the time I was 18 00:01:34.680 --> 00:01:41.640 an insecure and tormented boy and I was well disguised as romantic. I don 19 00:01:41.719 --> 00:01:46.879 ' t know what appeared before if the crush, the obsession or the madness, 20 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:49.879 maybe the three of them at the same time. The truth is, 21 00:01:49.040 --> 00:01:53.640 I couldn' t stop thinking about her. Every night I dreamed that I 22 00:01:55.599 --> 00:01:59.319 conquered her and every morning I realized that, in fact, I had my 23 00:01:59.400 --> 00:02:04.799 own dream again. I don' t know how, but I convinced myself 24 00:02:04.840 --> 00:02:08.360 I couldn' t live without her. The void was so unbearable that I 25 00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:13.599 began to become sick of loneliness. I felt like a boat that had been 26 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:17.639 drifting for years and had finally found its port. Suddenly I thought I knew 27 00:02:17.680 --> 00:02:22.639 where I' d been hiding all that time. My happiness. However, 28 00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:25.599 the closer I got to her, the further Betsy got away from me. 29 00:02:27.560 --> 00:02:32.080 I ended up drowning in an ocean of emotions and feelings. After several visits 30 00:02:32.120 --> 00:02:37.719 to a psychiatrist' s office. I began to medicate myself to fight depression. 31 00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:43.080 The good thing about obsession is that it allows you to engage in the 32 00:02:43.080 --> 00:02:46.240 long term. Only four years later, after biting a lot of stone, 33 00:02:46.599 --> 00:02:53.479 I managed to get that girl to be mine happened like not in a discotheque. 34 00:02:53.479 --> 00:02:57.879 Like the rest of the young people around us, we made it look 35 00:02:57.960 --> 00:03:00.240 like we were dancing. It' s o o o o or the amount 36 00:03:00.240 --> 00:03:06.520 of noise, darkness and alcohol that some of us need to be able to 37 00:03:06.520 --> 00:03:08.280 pick up that night. Without going any further, Betsy and I took six 38 00:03:08.319 --> 00:03:14.960 shots of tequila and so many other cubatas before giving us a chance. Despite 39 00:03:15.000 --> 00:03:19.639 the lagoons, I remember fuzzily that we kissed so hard that we ended up 40 00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:23.159 falling to the ground. Later we went to my house and to express it 41 00:03:23.159 --> 00:03:30.400 elegantly. We made love for almost three glorious minutes. That day we both 42 00:03:30.400 --> 00:03:35.680 lost our virginity. That' s how we started dating, but nothing changed. 43 00:03:36.039 --> 00:03:39.400 I was still ten suffering from that. From then on, out of 44 00:03:39.479 --> 00:03:45.919 fear of losing her, Betsy used to meet me some afternoon during the week 45 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:49.560 and book Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays at night to party with her friends. 46 00:03:51.319 --> 00:03:54.599 His absence was the excuse for my inner demons to pop up, which made 47 00:03:54.639 --> 00:04:01.000 me a possessive, controlling and jealous boy. Two months after our engagement started, 48 00:04:01.400 --> 00:04:06.439 she told me she was pregnant. I had just turned 20 and had 49 00:04:06.479 --> 00:04:12.479 no fucking idea what to do with my life. I had left my studies 50 00:04:12.560 --> 00:04:17.439 and worked part- time as a warehouse boy We had no future at all. 51 00:04:18.839 --> 00:04:24.759 However, under pressure from our social environment, the following year we decided 52 00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:30.240 to marry for the church and start living together and soon our daughter was born. 53 00:04:30.519 --> 00:04:34.800 Now I see it in perspective and I wonder how the hell we' 54 00:04:34.800 --> 00:04:40.639 d be able to take care of our little girl if we weren' t 55 00:04:40.639 --> 00:04:43.560 able to take care of ourselves. It was four years of conflict, struggle 56 00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:47.720 and suffering, my mother, how much two people who say they love each 57 00:04:47.720 --> 00:04:51.920 other can get destroyed in the name of love. After the divorce, Betsy 58 00:04:51.959 --> 00:04:57.480 moved to San Francisco with her parents and our three- year- old daughter 59 00:04:57.600 --> 00:05:00.480 and soon later met the man with whom she laughed her life. Today we 60 00:05:00.480 --> 00:05:06.399 have a very respectful and cordial relationship. We have a daughter in common whom 61 00:05:06.439 --> 00:05:11.000 I see whenever I can and who has given me two grandchildren. Oh, 62 00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:14.480 you' re so lame. It took him many years, but he has 63 00:05:14.560 --> 00:05:18.160 such a big heart that in the end he forgave my many sins. The 64 00:05:18.240 --> 00:05:26.279 monotony and weariness of conventional marriage. The breakup with Betsy plunged me even more 65 00:05:26.519 --> 00:05:30.199 into the deep depression that had accompanied me for years. The truth is, 66 00:05:30.399 --> 00:05:34.439 I almost didn' t get out alive. I was about to kill myself. 67 00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:40.839 It can be said that philosophy saved my life, inspired by the teachings 68 00:05:40.879 --> 00:05:44.879 of the great sages of human history, such as Seneca Buddha, Socrates or 69 00:05:44.879 --> 00:05:50.399 Jesus of Nazareth. To quote some of them, I decided to leave the 70 00:05:50.519 --> 00:05:54.120 pills and commit myself to getting out of the well that I had gotten myself 71 00:05:54.120 --> 00:05:58.720 into. As one of my favorite proverbs says, who falls to the ground 72 00:05:58.800 --> 00:06:02.639 rises with the help of the ground. I recognize him. Throughout my recovery 73 00:06:02.680 --> 00:06:09.480 process, I gave evidence to women. I didn' t want to know 74 00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:14.279 anything about them, well, at least from a sentimental plane. At twenty 75 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:19.759 - five I became a lone wolf. Which hunter was always stalking for easy 76 00:06:19.839 --> 00:06:26.839 prey. For the next three years, I learned everything I could from women. 77 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:31.879 I was no longer interested in love, just sex. In fact, 78 00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:36.639 I became addicted to pleasure to escape the pain and once the wolf was satisfied, 79 00:06:36.839 --> 00:06:44.560 it began to bore me The process of seduction conquest and consummation at that 80 00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:47.319 time also did not want me to attract to my life a girl who still 81 00:06:47.399 --> 00:06:53.120 wanted less than me. It was called a bell. I met her at 82 00:06:53.240 --> 00:07:00.279 a bar We fell in love like crazy literally. Today I still find it 83 00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:05.360 hard to understand that we saw each other. The crush blinded us. We 84 00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:10.839 got married for the civil and we were together for six years. While on 85 00:07:10.920 --> 00:07:15.279 the surface everything seemed to go great. In the depth another drama of the 86 00:07:15.399 --> 00:07:19.120 good ones was sewn on a simmer. In fact, I didn' t 87 00:07:19.240 --> 00:07:26.240 have big fights or arguments. We easily agreed on almost everything. The problem 88 00:07:26.279 --> 00:07:29.800 was that neither of us knew himself enough to know where we were going. 89 00:07:31.480 --> 00:07:38.279 We strive to lead a normal life. The shit was we made it. 90 00:07:38.319 --> 00:07:42.680 The excess of cohabitation has taken our toll. The truth is that routine brought 91 00:07:42.800 --> 00:07:48.720 a monotony and a very heavy teddy. We took the relationship for granted and 92 00:07:48.759 --> 00:07:53.720 little by little the flame turned off wrapping us in a halo of shadow and 93 00:07:53.720 --> 00:07:58.519 shadow. That' s when again the garbage started blundering from under the carpet. 94 00:08:00.639 --> 00:08:05.160 The trigger. That was our inability to have children. We tried it 95 00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:11.120 every way, but there was no way. According to the evidence, we 96 00:08:11.199 --> 00:08:16.680 were both fertile, but no doctor could say with certainty the real cause of 97 00:08:16.720 --> 00:08:22.399 our infertility. As a couple, finally accepting that we could not form a 98 00:08:22.439 --> 00:08:26.480 normal and ordinary family suddenly we were left without reason to stay together. The 99 00:08:26.519 --> 00:08:31.559 supposed love we were professing proved not to be enough. The stark truth is 100 00:08:31.639 --> 00:08:37.759 that, beyond sharing day to day, we had nothing in common. Years 101 00:08:37.799 --> 00:08:41.720 after we got divorced, I found out that I had changed sidewalks. It 102 00:08:41.759 --> 00:08:46.600 took him over thirty- five years to get out of the closet. Today 103 00:08:46.639 --> 00:08:54.240 we are still friends. Attracting a fellow traveler. The good thing about tripping 104 00:08:54.279 --> 00:08:56.840 twice with the same stone is that you start to think that the stone is 105 00:08:56.879 --> 00:09:01.720 no more to blame than a victim. So you' re starting to take 106 00:09:01.720 --> 00:09:05.799 responsibility that you' re the one who bumped into her. You begin to 107 00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:11.000 look closely at the stone and discover that it is right there on your way 108 00:09:11.039 --> 00:09:15.600 so that you learn something valuable about yourself. That' s how I realized 109 00:09:15.679 --> 00:09:20.000 that that rock my relationships with women was actually my teacher. Since then I 110 00:09:20.039 --> 00:09:26.480 consider myself his humble apprentice I was thirty- five years old, two marriages 111 00:09:26.519 --> 00:09:31.000 behind my back and a fourteen- year- old daughter, whom I hardly 112 00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:35.200 saw to explain how I felt let me use Dante Alighieri' s words. 113 00:09:35.480 --> 00:09:39.039 In the middle of my life. I was in a dark jungle and had 114 00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:43.080 lost the path that followed. At least I knew how to turn my existential 115 00:09:43.120 --> 00:09:48.679 conflict into a professional collaboration. Back then, I worked as a freelance journalist 116 00:09:48.759 --> 00:09:54.320 in a New York magazine. He wrote articles on human relations from a psychological 117 00:09:54.399 --> 00:10:00.320 and philosophical perspective. My job was to learn about what the fuck we do 118 00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:05.559 in this world. I spent the day interviewing renowned experts in the field, 119 00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:11.639 as well as extraordinary anonymous people whose stories of improvement reached the hearts of hundreds 120 00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:18.159 of thousands of readers every week. How to forget that date. On September 121 00:10:18.200 --> 00:10:20.759 8th, nine hundred and ninety- one, I looked into heaven and swore 122 00:10:20.840 --> 00:10:26.639 not to stumble again, I would not be with any woman again, sentimental 123 00:10:26.679 --> 00:10:30.679 or sexually, until I knew how to be happy for myself. I know 124 00:10:30.759 --> 00:10:33.879 you' re not gonna believe me, but the next day I met Kake. 125 00:10:33.879 --> 00:10:39.279 It was in the editorial of that magazine. My boss introduced her to 126 00:10:39.320 --> 00:10:45.120 me with a new collaborator. As soon as I saw her, my heart 127 00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:48.480 stopped. That brunette with an intellectual look and four years younger than I was 128 00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:54.639 without a doubt, the most beautiful woman I' d ever seen. The 129 00:10:54.679 --> 00:10:58.879 worst of all was that in our first conversation we started talking without coming to 130 00:10:58.919 --> 00:11:03.080 the point of the meaning of life right away. We found out we had 131 00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:07.360 two things in common. On the one hand, a past of stormy couple 132 00:11:07.480 --> 00:11:11.919 relationships and, on the other, a deep love for literature and philosophy. 133 00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:16.120 That same night, nothing more, I went out into the street, looked 134 00:11:16.159 --> 00:11:20.399 back into the sky and exclaimed fuck. Now I know that the woman of 135 00:11:20.519 --> 00:11:26.159 my life exists beyond my oath. There was another small obstacle that had been 136 00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:28.759 going on for several years. Going out with someone else. For the first 137 00:11:28.840 --> 00:11:33.679 time in my life, I decided to act like a gentleman. I was 138 00:11:33.799 --> 00:11:37.519 content to be your friend or at least disguise my feelings to try to be. 139 00:11:39.279 --> 00:11:43.080 It wasn' t easy. What and I saw each other every day 140 00:11:43.320 --> 00:11:50.519 and looked for any excuse to pause and talk. During our working day we 141 00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:56.159 spent hours sharing books and discussing authors. From the very beginning, our relationship 142 00:11:56.200 --> 00:12:01.600 was founded on an almost brutal honesty. She told me everything about her and 143 00:12:03.919 --> 00:12:09.320 I told her everything about me. Well, most of it. Or I 144 00:12:09.399 --> 00:12:11.919 saw a little detail that I was so crazy about her that I had to 145 00:12:11.960 --> 00:12:18.159 make a superhuman effort to carry my crush with sanity. It helped me a 146 00:12:18.200 --> 00:12:20.200 lot to attend a weekend course from n to Grama, a tool of self 147 00:12:20.639 --> 00:12:26.720 - knowledge that marked a new turning point in my spiritual quest. Which was 148 00:12:26.759 --> 00:12:33.320 the first person I called anything else. Finishing it completely excited a new way 149 00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:39.679 to relate as a couple. Just four months after meeting her, she came 150 00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:43.559 to my desk one day and said goodbye to me. The competition magazine had 151 00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:48.639 offered her a very good job as a reporter. I was very happy for 152 00:12:50.600 --> 00:12:54.720 her and felt sorry for me We would no longer have the excuse of work 153 00:12:54.720 --> 00:12:58.679 to see each other every day. The truth is, it was two months 154 00:12:58.759 --> 00:13:03.200 before I heard from him again. She called me one day to inform me 155 00:13:03.240 --> 00:13:07.559 that a dinner had been arranged for journalists from our union. I accepted the 156 00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:13.759 enchanted invitation. We casually sit side by side and during that night we barely 157 00:13:13.799 --> 00:13:20.480 interact with anyone else directly. Like she always told me she left it with 158 00:13:20.519 --> 00:13:26.960 her boyfriend. I had to use my cocker face to disguise again. This 159 00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:33.120 time I felt sorry for her and happy for me. I started flirting with 160 00:13:33.159 --> 00:13:37.720 the idea that maybe I had a chance to date Keth. We met again 161 00:13:37.840 --> 00:13:43.639 several times this time hand in hand, without audience, without decoration, and 162 00:13:43.759 --> 00:13:48.639 one night as I left it on the doorway of her house, I felt 163 00:13:48.679 --> 00:13:52.720 it was time to kiss her. I was brave enough, but I wasn 164 00:13:52.799 --> 00:13:58.080 ' t brave enough to take action this time either. At least physically I 165 00:13:58.120 --> 00:14:03.919 looked her in the eye. Yes, I let my heart speak that I 166 00:14:03.039 --> 00:14:09.679 like you very much and when I saw it blush, I added I can 167 00:14:09.679 --> 00:14:11.480 give you a kiss. I may not have any ring in my hand, 168 00:14:11.799 --> 00:14:18.039 but we have been together for twenty- four years I still wear a leather 169 00:14:18.120 --> 00:14:24.279 pendant with an alliance that hangs on my chest inside with tiny letters, the 170 00:14:24.279 --> 00:14:28.720 following inscription appears. I won' t lie to you. During all these 171 00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:35.480 years we have gone through different stages and have faced countless couple crises together. 172 00:14:37.039 --> 00:14:41.120 We know very well what heaven tastes like and also what hell smells like. 173 00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:46.600 What has kept us together has been our firm conviction that together we can grow 174 00:14:46.679 --> 00:14:50.240 and enjoy more than separately. Throughout our journey as a couple, we have 175 00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:56.759 tried to learn from what we have lived to evolve as human beings by hand, 176 00:14:56.120 --> 00:15:03.039 but not tied, trying not to lock up love in the prison of 177 00:15:03.080 --> 00:15:07.440 attachment and dependence and in turn trying not to fall into an excess of selfishness, 178 00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:15.559 individualism and debauchery. We are parents of two wonderful children, a girl 179 00:15:15.639 --> 00:15:20.559 and a boy, and together we have built our own way of understanding the 180 00:15:20.600 --> 00:15:24.120 relationship of couple and family. So much so that it is read and corrected 181 00:15:24.159 --> 00:15:28.679 all the chapters of this book, helping me integrate the female vision and perspective. 182 00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:35.159 In this way, the writing of this book has meant a true catharsis. 183 00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:39.240 As a couple. I' m also grateful to my two ex- 184 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:43.080 wives, Betsy and Becho. Both have helped me and much to give a 185 00:15:43.080 --> 00:15:48.039 broader perspective to my own experience in the field of love. In turn, 186 00:15:48.279 --> 00:15:52.039 I take this opportunity to thank the hundreds of men and women who have come 187 00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:56.080 over the past few years to my courses on spiritual development in search of a 188 00:15:56.200 --> 00:16:02.519 new conception of couple relationships, of my three marriages and my two divorces, 189 00:16:02.799 --> 00:16:07.919 I have learned that where there is great conflict there is great potential. Women 190 00:16:07.960 --> 00:16:11.720 and men are already forming heterosexual or homosexual couples, we are doomed to understand 191 00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:18.200 each other. Understanding the harmonious principles that enable you to enjoy love as a 192 00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:22.960 couple is the first step in building a truly happy family. As long as 193 00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:27.320 most families continue to perpetuate conflict, struggle and suffering in our own homes, 194 00:16:27.759 --> 00:16:33.039 we will continue to make it impossible to bring about a truly peaceful and loving 195 00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:37.519 society. Today, at the age of fifty- nine, I realized that 196 00:16:37.559 --> 00:16:41.399 living what I have lived was just what I needed to learn what I have 197 00:16:41.399 --> 00:16:47.360 learned. Of course, I don' t wish it on anyone. That 198 00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:52.080 ' s why I dared write this book. Ironies of fate. Those of 199 00:16:52.120 --> 00:16:56.279 us who devote ourselves to teaching tend to share what has cost us the most 200 00:16:56.679 --> 00:17:00.679 to learn and believe or not in destiny. If you' ve read this 201 00:17:00.039 --> 00:17:03.440 far, I want you to know that this book is written for you. 202 00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:10.640 Clay Newman. No one can teach you to love. Learn to be the 203 00:17:10.680 --> 00:17:15.839 love you want to see in your partner relationship. I hope I didn' 204 00:17:15.839 --> 00:17:18.640 t confuse you. I' m not a love guru God forbid. I 205 00:17:18.759 --> 00:17:25.519 don' t have an infallible method to offer you, nor do I have 206 00:17:25.599 --> 00:17:27.720 a magic formula that solves your problems. It tastes bad, but I' 207 00:17:27.720 --> 00:17:32.519 m not an expert in loving relationships. I don' t have the truth. 208 00:17:33.559 --> 00:17:37.440 In fact, I' m not an example. As a husband, 209 00:17:37.559 --> 00:17:41.400 ask my wife I' ll tell you, I don' t have anything 210 00:17:41.400 --> 00:17:45.599 to teach you. Learning to love with capital letters is an untransferable learning. 211 00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:52.839 Only you can do it depends exclusively on you. The goal of this book 212 00:17:52.920 --> 00:17:56.160 is to make you more aware of the mistakes you' ve made and maybe 213 00:17:56.240 --> 00:18:02.480 you' re still making and why not share ramns while you know how to 214 00:18:02.599 --> 00:18:04.559 evolve and transform yourself as a human being. May it serve you to become 215 00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:11.839 a mature, responsible, free, conscious, and wise person. Only then 216 00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:15.640 can it be the love you want to experience in your current relationship as a 217 00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:19.640 couple or in those that are to come. Therefore, before reading the following 218 00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:26.839 pages, it is important that you take into account the following principles. There 219 00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:32.039 ' s no one like you. You' re unique and unrepeatable. Everything 220 00:18:32.160 --> 00:18:36.559 in IT, everything that is part of IT, everything that arises from IT, 221 00:18:36.799 --> 00:18:41.799 everything to the least insignificant detail is 100% genuine, from your brain, 222 00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:47.960 to your body, from your fingerprint, to the color of your eyes, 223 00:18:48.359 --> 00:18:52.319 from the expression of your face, to your intelligence, from your tone 224 00:18:52.440 --> 00:18:56.640 of voice, to your way of driving, from your outward appearance to your 225 00:18:56.680 --> 00:19:03.519 inner world. There is no one in the universe who is identical to YOU. 226 00:19:04.599 --> 00:19:08.359 The truth is that only you can know who you really are and, 227 00:19:08.400 --> 00:19:12.799 therefore, only you can verify that you need to build a loving bond that 228 00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:21.279 suits your unique way of being. There is no universal relationship mold. Just 229 00:19:21.359 --> 00:19:26.119 as you are special, so are others. Your partner has his own way 230 00:19:26.160 --> 00:19:30.599 of understanding and enjoying love. The challenge is that you know yourself and that 231 00:19:30.720 --> 00:19:36.640 your partner knows himself and that you both accompany each other in this process of 232 00:19:36.680 --> 00:19:42.160 self- knowledge. The moment you understand and honor your respective singularities, you 233 00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:47.359 will be able to determine if you are compatible as a couple. In the 234 00:19:47.400 --> 00:19:51.480 event that you decide that it is worth being together rather than separated, you 235 00:19:51.480 --> 00:19:56.720 can begin to define your own original way of linking. Don' t listen 236 00:19:56.759 --> 00:20:02.119 to society' s propaganda. There is no single way to relate valid for 237 00:20:02.200 --> 00:20:08.039 everyone. Don' t compare yourself to other couples, since there isn' 238 00:20:08.039 --> 00:20:12.920 t, and can' t be, a standard way to love and be 239 00:20:12.920 --> 00:20:15.759 loved for what the advice is. What others tell you about love has to 240 00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:22.599 do with them. Not with your experience. It can never be yours to 241 00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:29.119 stop comparing yourself with a bloody one You see, focus on yourself, and 242 00:20:29.160 --> 00:20:33.480 then the person you' ve chosen as your travel companion may feel a little 243 00:20:33.519 --> 00:20:37.400 lost right now in the art of loving. Don' t get frustrated. 244 00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:41.920 No one is born knowing. Moreover, we have all been filled with absurd 245 00:20:41.960 --> 00:20:48.880 beliefs about what love is. That' s why you have to empty first. 246 00:20:49.359 --> 00:20:53.839 Leave room for the new and the changes will start to happen naturally. 247 00:20:56.720 --> 00:21:00.960 Don' t get involved in other people' s affairs, no matter how 248 00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:04.880 good intentions move you, never fall into the mistake of telling others how to 249 00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:10.640 be happy being a couple now, just as no one can teach you to 250 00:21:10.640 --> 00:21:14.160 love you, neither can you pass on what you have learned to others. 251 00:21:14.519 --> 00:21:18.519 Even if you see them suffering don' t interfere in their relationship, don 252 00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:21.920 ' t get involved or let them get in your way. Every human being 253 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:27.599 is capable of resolving his own existential conflicts. The best thing you can do 254 00:21:27.720 --> 00:21:33.640 for a person you' re suffering is listen to her empathically accept her as 255 00:21:33.720 --> 00:21:37.039 she is, so she can vent herself. If you want a real change, 256 00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:41.039 you' ll find a means, but an excuse. Don' t 257 00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:47.440 believe anything you read in this book. Faced with the generalizations you will find 258 00:21:47.480 --> 00:21:52.920 in this book, it adopts a skeptical attitude. I hope you know how 259 00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:56.319 to move and apply the reflections that follow your situation. Particularly, checking to 260 00:21:56.400 --> 00:22:00.039 what extent they can be useful to you. The first part aims to provoke 261 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:06.440 you questioning the obsolete model of couple that has instilled you in society. The 262 00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:11.000 second is intended to remove you, influencing the differences that exist between men and 263 00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:15.559 women, as well as in their opposite and complementary way of love. And 264 00:22:15.599 --> 00:22:19.200 the third is meant to inspire you, showing you how to conceive and enjoy 265 00:22:19.240 --> 00:22:23.799 your relationship from a new perspective according to the 21st century, in which you 266 00:22:23.920 --> 00:22:33.759 live first part the unconscious couple and in bed we are not two, but 267 00:22:33.799 --> 00:22:40.519 four. Why do you suffer for love you are a dependent and limited version 268 00:22:40.599 --> 00:22:45.039 of yourself take a look at your belly button. That' s where the 269 00:22:45.079 --> 00:22:48.880 key to understanding it lies. Because of all your suffering, you' ve 270 00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:55.039 realized it' s actually a scar. At birth, the doctors rushed to 271 00:22:55.079 --> 00:22:59.640 cut the umbilical cord that held you together with your mother in that prio. 272 00:23:00.119 --> 00:23:04.000 If his instant you' ve apparently become a separate being, a trauma you 273 00:23:04.119 --> 00:23:08.880 haven' t recovered from yet. As a newborn baby, you couldn' 274 00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:15.920 t stand for yourself. You were completely helpless to survive depended on others taking 275 00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:22.000 care of your needs. That' s when you started hitting mom and dad, 276 00:23:22.279 --> 00:23:26.720 as well as the rest of the caregivers. They were responsible for feeding 277 00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:32.279 you, cleaning you, warming you up and making you feel safe and protected. 278 00:23:33.319 --> 00:23:37.039 The years went by and caused that sense of extreme dependence to become the 279 00:23:37.079 --> 00:23:42.359 basis upon which you built your personality. The only form of love you knew 280 00:23:42.440 --> 00:23:48.480 during your childhood was that others loved you, that is, you, acted 281 00:23:48.519 --> 00:23:55.319 like you needed them to act at all times. Otherwise, you protested in 282 00:23:55.359 --> 00:24:00.880 the form of tears and kicks, moved by their ignorance. Your parents gave 283 00:24:00.920 --> 00:24:04.880 you everything they thought you needed to grow up healthy and happy. They made 284 00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:08.440 you believe that you were the center of the universe and that all people had 285 00:24:08.559 --> 00:24:12.920 to turn around you. You got used to making others' priorities, satisfying 286 00:24:14.319 --> 00:24:19.839 your desires and meeting your expectations. In fact, you still claim the same 287 00:24:19.960 --> 00:24:25.519 deal in all your relationships. Your emotional dependence is the reason that you have 288 00:24:25.599 --> 00:24:30.079 boycotted your partner ties over and over again and that your ability to love yourself 289 00:24:30.119 --> 00:24:37.160 has been diminished and limited to this day. You ignore deeply how the ego 290 00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:41.799 manipulates you, you may consider yourself an adult, but from an emotional perspective, 291 00:24:42.200 --> 00:24:47.440 you continue to behave like a child. Your birth wound is still open 292 00:24:47.839 --> 00:24:53.000 as much as you physically healed on a very deep and unconscious level. You 293 00:24:53.039 --> 00:25:00.359 still feel helpless you still need other people to feel safe, dear and ugly 294 00:25:00.359 --> 00:25:04.720 gray. This part of you so dependent is called ego, which means I 295 00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:11.279 ' m the defense mechanism that you developed to make up for your unbearable sense 296 00:25:11.359 --> 00:25:15.240 of vulnerability. Thus, the ego would become a breastplate. The shield you 297 00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:19.319 ' ve been protecting yourself with to survive, while you couldn' t stand 298 00:25:19.400 --> 00:25:25.599 for yourself ego, the synonym of personality that in turn comes from a person 299 00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:30.079 who means mask not in hand. It is a false self built with second 300 00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:37.720 - hand beliefs, many of them based on ignorance. Your big shit as 301 00:25:37.759 --> 00:25:45.440 a human being has been to identify with your ego, that is, to 302 00:25:45.599 --> 00:25:49.720 believe that you are the breastplate, shield, and mask that you have been 303 00:25:49.799 --> 00:25:53.880 wearing and moved by this survival instinct. Your egoistic attitude has been manifesting through 304 00:25:53.960 --> 00:25:59.960 four main features: unconsciousness, self- centeredness, realness, and victimism note 305 00:26:00.519 --> 00:26:04.039 that when your partner behaves in a way that doesn' t benefit you without 306 00:26:04.160 --> 00:26:11.599 realizing it, you react mechanically by attacking or opposing the defensive. You don 307 00:26:11.720 --> 00:26:17.039 ' t choose to act. That' s the ego that breaks in impulsively 308 00:26:17.119 --> 00:26:22.000 when you feel hurt again, your little voice poisons you with words and teeth. 309 00:26:22.119 --> 00:26:26.119 This is how you hurt yourself by experiencing emotions like fear, anger, 310 00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:33.200 or sadness. That' s when you start feeling victimized and blame your sentimental 311 00:26:33.240 --> 00:26:38.960 partner for making you suffer, you' re completely alienated from your true essence. 312 00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:44.160 The day your mother gave birth to you, you had a seed form. 313 00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:48.559 While words don' t matter, this fruit is often called zero essence 314 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:53.920 I true by birthright, everything you needed to be happy came serial with you. 315 00:26:56.559 --> 00:27:00.319 I' ve always been inside you contained in him that seed that you 316 00:27:00.359 --> 00:27:03.640 were and that' s still being. Inside you is the joy you' 317 00:27:03.680 --> 00:27:08.559 ve spent your life searching outside, obviously, as a baby. They never 318 00:27:08.599 --> 00:27:14.920 told you this fundamental truth about yourself. You wouldn' t have understood her 319 00:27:14.920 --> 00:27:18.559 either. Imagine, being a two- year- old little boy, whining 320 00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:22.079 for wanting Mommy to stay by your side. While you sleep your mother goes 321 00:27:22.160 --> 00:27:25.799 and tells you my son, I can' t give you. What you 322 00:27:25.880 --> 00:27:33.920 need is within you good night as a human being, you were still born 323 00:27:34.200 --> 00:27:45.160 for making yourself vulnerable, helpless, unprotected, incapable, dependent. Being a 324 00:27:45.240 --> 00:27:48.440 baby is a pot way out. They' re on LSD drugs all day. 325 00:27:49.880 --> 00:27:56.079 You need to stick to the outside to survive internally. At that time, 326 00:27:56.480 --> 00:28:00.240 your brain still had much to develop, to acquire language and much more 327 00:28:00.200 --> 00:28:06.880 so that you could communicate with others and with yourself. You have spent so 328 00:28:06.920 --> 00:28:11.039 many years living unconsciously identified with the ego that you are totally disconnected from your 329 00:28:11.039 --> 00:28:17.240 being. Your seed hasn' t bloomed yet. It' s a potentiality. 330 00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:21.319 That' s why you don' t know who you are if you 331 00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:23.039 ' re so wrong in what you think you need to be happy. In 332 00:28:23.119 --> 00:28:29.799 fact, you may feel empty and incomplete at this very moment. It' 333 00:28:29.920 --> 00:28:33.519 s okay. It' s natural, they' re symptoms of disconnection. 334 00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:41.160 Just look inside. Travel the journey back to your true essence. There' 335 00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:45.279 s no loss. You will know that you have arrived, because you will 336 00:28:45.319 --> 00:28:51.640 no longer seek for someone else to complete you do not see your partner as 337 00:28:51.720 --> 00:28:53.640 he is, but as you want him to be. The greater the disconnection 338 00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:59.759 with your greater thirst is also the identification with the ego. It is then, 339 00:29:00.279 --> 00:29:04.759 when, blinded by your needs, desires, priorities, dreams, illusions 340 00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:11.319 and expectations, you begin to distort reality, you see the world through glasses 341 00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:15.759 totally tarnished by an egoic fog. In this way, you become a professional 342 00:29:15.799 --> 00:29:22.519 distorter of reality. However, by ignoring your own ignorance, you are convinced 343 00:29:22.599 --> 00:29:27.119 that the self- centered and subjective interpretations you make of reality are objective reality 344 00:29:27.200 --> 00:29:33.000 in itself. For this very reason, you don' t see your partner 345 00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:36.279 as he is, but as you are. You. The labels that define 346 00:29:36.279 --> 00:29:41.519 that person say a lot more about you than about her. Your partner makes 347 00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:45.680 you clear when you look at her, you project yourself seeing your own reflection. 348 00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:51.599 If you don' t love yourself, you' ll tend to feel 349 00:29:51.640 --> 00:29:52.519 sad, because you perceive that you don' t love you. If you 350 00:29:52.599 --> 00:30:00.920 feel insecure, you will often look at her with distrust, turning it into 351 00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:07.559 possessive without realizing it. The ego will recreate in your mind uncertain scenarios with 352 00:30:07.599 --> 00:30:11.599 which to justify all your fear. If you are emotionally at war with yourself, 353 00:30:11.960 --> 00:30:15.920 you will spend your life finding some excuse to conflict with your sentimental partner, 354 00:30:17.519 --> 00:30:22.960 which will only perpetuate your own discomfort and not deceive yourself. All that 355 00:30:22.039 --> 00:30:26.000 pain and all that suffering has absolutely nothing to do with love, but with 356 00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:32.960 the ego. By living tyrannized by this defense mechanism, it is impossible for 357 00:30:33.039 --> 00:30:37.720 you to see your partner only see the reflection of your unsatisfied needs and desires. 358 00:30:38.599 --> 00:30:41.680 So remember in bed you' re not two, you' re four. 359 00:30:42.680 --> 00:30:47.519 The inevitable clash of egos is preventing you from living and enjoying a much 360 00:30:47.640 --> 00:30:55.559 healthier, nutritious and sustainable love. Two an obsolete relationship mold, absurd beliefs 361 00:30:55.599 --> 00:31:00.480 that have conditioned you. You probably got married, but that' s what 362 00:31:00.519 --> 00:31:04.079 I played. They are part of a society sick of unhappiness that promotes a 363 00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:10.440 standardized education and lifestyle in the image and likeness of the ego, that is, 364 00:31:10.839 --> 00:31:14.799 of the most primary, instinctive and animal part of our human condition. 365 00:31:15.839 --> 00:31:18.839 Hence, wherever you look, conflict, struggle, unrest and dissatisfaction abound. 366 00:31:21.880 --> 00:31:26.319 Don' t be fooled by what you see on the surface, society also 367 00:31:26.400 --> 00:31:32.119 has its own mask. Look deeper take people away from football, religion, 368 00:31:32.359 --> 00:31:37.279 television and antidepressants And you' ll see the neurotic state in which many people 369 00:31:37.319 --> 00:31:41.640 live badly and not only that is the fear of change, the rejection of 370 00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:45.319 the new, the opposition to the different and the aversion to the unknown that 371 00:31:45.400 --> 00:31:49.880 the new generations tend to perpetuate the ignorance of their predecessors, so as not 372 00:31:49.920 --> 00:31:56.599 to reveal themselves against the poor established social order of you how it occurs to 373 00:31:56.680 --> 00:32:00.319 you, break with what touches and dare to follow your own path. They 374 00:32:00.400 --> 00:32:05.079 don' t forgive you so you can' t think of such madness. 375 00:32:05.440 --> 00:32:09.039 The education system has taken care of mutilating your self- esteem, neutering your 376 00:32:09.079 --> 00:32:13.680 trust and destroying your creativity. Proof of that is that, like you, 377 00:32:13.839 --> 00:32:17.400 the vast majority of people feel lost without knowing exactly what to do with their 378 00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:23.680 lives. Be honest with yourself, why the fuck did you get married and, 379 00:32:23.920 --> 00:32:27.400 if you haven' t already, why do you want to get married. 380 00:32:28.279 --> 00:32:30.960 What would you do with your sentimental life? If suddenly all the people 381 00:32:30.039 --> 00:32:37.319 you know and know died overnight. Your way of conceiving marriage is not yours, 382 00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:40.640 it is of free society, of all the ponzoña that you have been 383 00:32:40.720 --> 00:32:45.279 told about love as a couple and dare to listen to your heart. Don 384 00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:49.799 ' t do things because it' s your turn to do them, but 385 00:32:49.799 --> 00:32:54.039 because they' re yours. Your mother and father live inside you. The 386 00:32:54.119 --> 00:32:59.200 pressure, conditioning and influence that society exerts on you is as overwhelming as the 387 00:32:59.240 --> 00:33:05.000 imperceptible is carried out through your parents in the same way that you have not 388 00:33:05.079 --> 00:33:09.200 chosen your name, your language or your football team. You haven' t 389 00:33:09.319 --> 00:33:14.920 chosen your way of conceiving partner relationships either. Almost everything you know about love 390 00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:20.039 you' ve sucked at home. Your main reference model has been the example 391 00:33:20.039 --> 00:33:24.960 your parents have given you How they treated each other and how they treated you. 392 00:33:27.799 --> 00:33:31.359 They really loved each other, they loved you. What your parents gave 393 00:33:31.400 --> 00:33:36.079 themselves is largely what they gave you, at least the most significant thing you 394 00:33:36.079 --> 00:33:40.920 received from them and unless they were truly happy, they could hardly be complicit 395 00:33:42.000 --> 00:33:47.279 in your happiness. In fact, it is possible to differentiate between those children 396 00:33:47.319 --> 00:33:52.519 and adults who only received milk and those who received milk and love is not 397 00:33:52.599 --> 00:33:55.920 the same as Hayas was the son of a balanced person and a bitter one. 398 00:33:57.920 --> 00:34:00.160 The loving presence of your parents or their fans lack of it has left 399 00:34:00.319 --> 00:34:06.960 a very deep imprint on your consciousness and their respective personalities have influenced the development 400 00:34:07.000 --> 00:34:10.960 of yours. Your mother may have been very fearful and overprotected from you, 401 00:34:12.960 --> 00:34:20.480 or your father was addicted to work and was practically absent from the kind of 402 00:34:20.519 --> 00:34:25.480 relationship your parents had, a condition you maintain with yours. That' s 403 00:34:25.480 --> 00:34:31.400 your real genetic and genealogical heritage. Also, because of your emotional dependence, 404 00:34:31.599 --> 00:34:35.719 many of the decisions you' ve made in the name of love have been 405 00:34:35.800 --> 00:34:40.440 to please dad and mom or maybe to disgust them with an even more childish 406 00:34:40.480 --> 00:34:46.400 behavior and the same happens to your partner. The uncomfortable truth is that you 407 00:34:46.519 --> 00:34:53.159 do not sleep alone in bed, there are also your parents you are a 408 00:34:53.239 --> 00:34:58.280 victim of howe Wed and desnias born in a tremendously hypocritical and naive generation. 409 00:34:59.199 --> 00:35:05.320 Proof of them are Howdewed movies over ninety minutes. Fashion actors and actresses embody 410 00:35:05.400 --> 00:35:08.639 the ideal of man and woman that promotes the entertainment society in which you live. 411 00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:19.679 They are handsome, intelligent, generous, finally magnificent, people of those 412 00:35:19.719 --> 00:35:23.360 who abound by do want any bar of the corner as they are not known 413 00:35:23.440 --> 00:35:29.599 by chance, they fall in love in a great way, they have loving 414 00:35:29.639 --> 00:35:31.760 encounters of the most glamorous with moments of sex. Impeccably executed and begin an 415 00:35:31.800 --> 00:35:37.039 almost perfect couple relationship. Let me remind you that these movies that you like 416 00:35:37.159 --> 00:35:43.920 so much, are pure fiction often framed in the romantic genre. Today, 417 00:35:44.039 --> 00:35:50.480 the firm realists on couple relationships are all featured in the drama section. No 418 00:35:50.559 --> 00:35:59.000 one wants to see you either have enough with yours and what to say about 419 00:35:59.079 --> 00:36:04.639 the incredible endings of Walt Disney' s drawings, in which the princess always 420 00:36:04.679 --> 00:36:10.320 finds her prince blue and live happily ever after. It' s a coincidence 421 00:36:10.400 --> 00:36:15.000 that just when cohabitation starts, this kind of film is over. This is 422 00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:20.199 how you miss the most interesting part, the conflict, the suffering and its 423 00:36:20.280 --> 00:36:27.639 authentic and irremediable final, the mutual indifference or the violent separation. Whatever is 424 00:36:27.719 --> 00:36:32.239 moved by these subliminal messages. The story of your love life is titled in 425 00:36:32.320 --> 00:36:39.119 search of my split orange half you dream of your other half appearing exclusively made 426 00:36:39.159 --> 00:36:45.039 for you you tell yourself that only then will you overcome the feeling of emptiness 427 00:36:45.079 --> 00:36:51.000 and separativity, being able to feel at last a complete orange. Ha ha 428 00:36:51.000 --> 00:36:55.639 ha, small, stupid. This is comedy and good, the happiest day 429 00:36:55.719 --> 00:37:05.519 of your life. There is a very established social convention to consider that the 430 00:37:05.599 --> 00:37:10.079 happiest day of your life was your wedding Come on now what you' re 431 00:37:10.079 --> 00:37:15.519 telling me. Through this event the economic power of the parents of the grooms 432 00:37:15.639 --> 00:37:20.440 is manifested, who by financing this costly event also decide directly and indirectly how 433 00:37:20.480 --> 00:37:25.280 it should be carried out and what we can say about the bride. From 434 00:37:25.320 --> 00:37:30.920 organization to celebration. She shows herself serene and watered at all times, not 435 00:37:30.960 --> 00:37:37.000 obsessing about achieving the perfect wedding. Ironies aside, most were completely deranged during 436 00:37:37.079 --> 00:37:43.480 the process. Also, the instant you share with your family and friends that 437 00:37:43.519 --> 00:37:46.320 you get married, it seems as if the people who supposedly love you the 438 00:37:46.320 --> 00:37:51.280 most, have carte blanche to tell you what you think without having to reflect 439 00:37:51.320 --> 00:37:54.400 on what they say. Suddenly it turns out that everyone is expert in the 440 00:37:54.639 --> 00:38:00.079 matter and they try to impose their opinion on how you should be your wedding 441 00:38:00.239 --> 00:38:05.960 and how they don' t usually start with their favorite theme that is also 442 00:38:06.039 --> 00:38:08.400 the most morbid who you should or shouldn' t invite here the ego wears 443 00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:13.320 boots. That' s when you realize that marriage is, in fact, 444 00:38:13.760 --> 00:38:20.199 a purely social event. It has more to do with your environment than with 445 00:38:20.199 --> 00:38:22.639 you what changes and much is the perception that people around you have about your 446 00:38:22.719 --> 00:38:28.760 sentimental relationship. Your partner' s father becomes your father- in- law 447 00:38:28.840 --> 00:38:31.960 and gives you his first real hug. At the same time, your husband 448 00:38:32.039 --> 00:38:37.119 ' s brothers confirm to you that you are finally brothers- in- law 449 00:38:37.239 --> 00:38:43.079 declaring your love before a priest or judge does not result in a marriage only 450 00:38:43.159 --> 00:38:46.679 a contract, that is, a role that establishes rights and obligations between the 451 00:38:46.679 --> 00:38:52.519 two spouses, which they sign by mutual agreement. True marriage is another thing 452 00:38:52.599 --> 00:38:59.960 three X- rays of the current couple. The dark reality that no one 453 00:39:00.079 --> 00:39:06.760 tells you about your relationship doesn' t work. There is no other activity 454 00:39:06.800 --> 00:39:10.239 that starts with as many expectations and hopes and fails as often as the couple 455 00:39:10.280 --> 00:39:19.159 relationship. Love has become one of the rarest and most exceptional experiences. Finding 456 00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:22.760 two people who, after many years together and radiate happiness and relate to each 457 00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:28.920 other with admiration, respect and passion is an almost unprecedented phenomenon. The truth 458 00:39:29.039 --> 00:39:34.440 is that your ego and that of your companion boycott any real possibility that you 459 00:39:34.599 --> 00:39:38.159 can love each other. On the contrary, it constantly disagrees and conflicts you, 460 00:39:39.079 --> 00:39:44.000 instituting the arguments, the fights and the broncs within the couple, tired 461 00:39:44.039 --> 00:39:49.320 and powerless for not knowing how to relate peacefully, you start to separate yourself 462 00:39:49.599 --> 00:39:53.960 from your sentimental companion, even if you still sleep next to him. And 463 00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:58.239 that' s how love, if there was, dies little by little of 464 00:39:58.239 --> 00:40:02.039 starvation. The anti- temporal society remains so unconscious that in some settings it 465 00:40:02.119 --> 00:40:08.360 encourages people to start living together after marriage. I hope you weren' t 466 00:40:08.440 --> 00:40:14.320 one of them. That' s crazy, although the honeymoon helps you recover 467 00:40:14.400 --> 00:40:17.199 from the stress of the wedding when you get home, you get back to 468 00:40:17.239 --> 00:40:21.519 the point where you left off. One of the great challenges of your life 469 00:40:21.840 --> 00:40:27.000 is living with your partner, that is, the long and thorny path of 470 00:40:27.000 --> 00:40:30.159 discovering the truth about the person with whom you have chosen to share your existence, 471 00:40:31.320 --> 00:40:36.400 that someone explain to me how you will emotionally survive the numerous challenges, 472 00:40:37.519 --> 00:40:40.320 difficulties and adversities inherent in a relationship of couples. If you don' t 473 00:40:40.440 --> 00:40:46.960 have the knowledge and tools to manage them with emotional intelligence, recognize your relationship 474 00:40:47.079 --> 00:40:50.920 as a couple that hasn' t worked for a long time. Open your 475 00:40:50.960 --> 00:40:55.360 mind to try to understand why your partner can' t make you suffer. 476 00:40:57.079 --> 00:41:00.320 Sometimes you say things that fill your partner, who usually reacts by hurting you. 477 00:41:01.599 --> 00:41:07.920 It is a very common dynamic to offend and feel offended. You' 478 00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:12.159 re convinced your partner makes you suffer. That' s why you blame your 479 00:41:12.239 --> 00:41:15.559 discomfort and dissatisfaction. In turn, she considers that you make her suffer. 480 00:41:17.039 --> 00:41:21.519 That' s why I blame you for the same thing. And there are 481 00:41:21.519 --> 00:41:24.880 some couples who spend their lives on this endless wheel. The struggle and conflict 482 00:41:24.880 --> 00:41:30.719 are perpetuated by a completely false infantile belief. The cause of my suffering is 483 00:41:30.719 --> 00:41:36.639 beyond me. It' s a lie, it' s inside. Being 484 00:41:36.760 --> 00:41:39.719 so afraid that others will hurt you, you live parapeted behind the armor of 485 00:41:39.719 --> 00:41:45.400 the ego and while protecting you, it also leads you to always live on 486 00:41:45.440 --> 00:41:50.360 the defensive. That' s why you' re so sensitive and react to 487 00:41:50.400 --> 00:41:52.920 your partner' s attitude like that. In this way, when you say 488 00:41:52.960 --> 00:42:00.360 or act in a way that does not benefit you or directly harms you react 489 00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:07.960 impulsively and with each reaction you literally hurt yourself. That' s when moved 490 00:42:08.039 --> 00:42:13.079 by your ignorance, you adopt a victim attitude and blame the other one for 491 00:42:13.119 --> 00:42:19.559 what you just did to yourself remember. Reality is neutral. What is not 492 00:42:19.599 --> 00:42:22.840 neutral is the subjective and distorted interpretation that makes the ego of the facts itself, 493 00:42:23.000 --> 00:42:28.920 creating your own experience of what happened. That which you are not able 494 00:42:28.960 --> 00:42:32.599 to accept from your partner is the only cause of your suffering. No one 495 00:42:32.719 --> 00:42:37.599 ' s ever made you suffer It' s impossible. In fact, no 496 00:42:37.639 --> 00:42:43.760 one can hurt you emotionally without your consent. Hell is alone in your mind. 497 00:42:45.119 --> 00:42:50.079 Drop the victimism and stop blaming your partner. Once you take your share 498 00:42:50.159 --> 00:42:53.840 of responsibility and look at yourself in the mirror, start by changing what depends 499 00:42:53.880 --> 00:43:00.760 on you. There is no other mature formula. Once your partner can' 500 00:43:00.760 --> 00:43:04.599 t make you happy. The great contemporary lie is that well- being, 501 00:43:05.039 --> 00:43:08.679 fullness and abundance are outside of you and the more you get entangled in the 502 00:43:08.719 --> 00:43:15.400 farce that promotes this system the more you leave, disconnecting from your being the 503 00:43:15.519 --> 00:43:20.360 only place where true happiness resides. The fact that you consume much more than 504 00:43:20.440 --> 00:43:27.360 you need reveals your existential void. Having lost yourself in the labyrinth of materialism, 505 00:43:27.599 --> 00:43:31.199 you have spent part of your alienated and anesthetized life alienated from your inner 506 00:43:31.280 --> 00:43:37.880 well- being. Ironically, the opulence to have in excess and to want 507 00:43:37.920 --> 00:43:44.480 more has become a contemporary disease. And it is that the greater the disconnection 508 00:43:44.519 --> 00:43:47.960 of your essence, the greater the feeling of lack, scarcity, poverty and 509 00:43:49.119 --> 00:43:52.880 even misery. This is the reason why it is not important with abundance to 510 00:43:52.920 --> 00:43:58.239 have good that you possess unless you live in contact with your inner wealth. 511 00:43:59.079 --> 00:44:05.159 You' ll keep missing something to feel complete and right now you project that 512 00:44:05.199 --> 00:44:07.559 something into love. Without a doubt, religion with more faithful and followers. 513 00:44:10.039 --> 00:44:14.400 You have a blind faith that your partner will provide you with the happiness, 514 00:44:14.840 --> 00:44:19.440 security and value you do not find within you, you seek in your partner. 515 00:44:19.559 --> 00:44:22.480 The only thing I can' t give you is bad for me to 516 00:44:22.519 --> 00:44:28.239 tell you No one can make you happy. Likewise, you can' t 517 00:44:28.320 --> 00:44:32.679 make anyone happy either. You never have. You don' t have that 518 00:44:32.679 --> 00:44:37.519 power. Your mentality is tyrannized by another belief as irrational as it is false. 519 00:44:37.880 --> 00:44:42.840 The cause of my happiness is beyond me. That' s why you 520 00:44:42.880 --> 00:44:46.800 expect your partner to meet your needs, satisfy your desires and meet your expectations. 521 00:44:47.800 --> 00:44:52.519 That' s what you call your love It' s like you give 522 00:44:52.519 --> 00:44:55.440 up feeling bliss for yourself. Instead, putting your hopes of well- being 523 00:44:55.519 --> 00:45:04.239 in the hands of others you are a prisoner of a relationship that prevents you 524 00:45:04.320 --> 00:45:07.760 from relating to society not only pressure you to live as a couple, but 525 00:45:07.800 --> 00:45:12.000 also force you to live with it in a Conyugal home, as established in 526 00:45:12.039 --> 00:45:15.800 article sixty- eight of the Spanish Constitution. But that' s not the 527 00:45:15.800 --> 00:45:20.000 end of it. According to the Penal Code of this country, failure to 528 00:45:20.079 --> 00:45:24.119 comply with this obligation can lead to a crime of family abandonment, that is, 529 00:45:24.400 --> 00:45:28.760 you have to fucking spend time with your sentimental partner, even if, 530 00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:32.679 for whatever reasons, you don' t want to be with him ironically if 531 00:45:32.760 --> 00:45:37.639 you escape the prison that you' ve turned your marriage into, you can 532 00:45:37.760 --> 00:45:40.519 end up in a real jail. The tightness and shortening that you are subjected 533 00:45:40.559 --> 00:45:45.559 to your relationship prevents you from interacting with your partner. The relationship is something 534 00:45:45.639 --> 00:45:50.960 fixed, static, based on a routine that promotes a series of customs and 535 00:45:51.039 --> 00:45:54.800 habits, promoting it every day. The same thing with time, causes you 536 00:45:54.880 --> 00:46:00.239 to art of monotony and give your partner for sitting in Instead, relating is 537 00:46:00.239 --> 00:46:05.239 a natural, organic and uncertain process, like life itself, consists of letting 538 00:46:05.239 --> 00:46:10.239 yourself be surprised, creating the necessary conditions so that something new can happen every 539 00:46:10.360 --> 00:46:15.440 day without being aware of it. In the name of relationship, you are 540 00:46:15.440 --> 00:46:23.880 destroying each other' s freedom, denying and repressing their own individuality leaves space. 541 00:46:24.480 --> 00:46:30.199 If your partner is late one day home, there is no need to 542 00:46:30.239 --> 00:46:34.599 ask him where he has been or why he returns at that time. Your 543 00:46:34.639 --> 00:46:37.800 partner is a free individual. He doesn' t have to explain himself to 544 00:46:37.800 --> 00:46:45.199 you. Many of your fights begin with small things like this and reveal the 545 00:46:45.280 --> 00:46:49.559 dark root of the problem. You' re not willing to let the other 546 00:46:49.599 --> 00:46:52.039 one enjoy his freedom. That' s why you' re trying to make 547 00:46:52.039 --> 00:46:55.760 him feel guilty. That' s your self- imposed, most denigrating slavery. 548 00:46:58.280 --> 00:47:02.440 Four, fear of loneliness, stupid reasons to want to be a couple. 549 00:47:05.119 --> 00:47:09.280 You' d rather be accompanied badly than alone. He' s very 550 00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:13.360 badly seen in our society. He' s got a really bad press. 551 00:47:14.760 --> 00:47:19.440 What happens to people over thirty who are still single and what to say about 552 00:47:19.480 --> 00:47:23.320 those in forty how they usually feel inside when they see the rest of their 553 00:47:23.320 --> 00:47:29.480 married friends and how they are talked about behind their backs because they are not 554 00:47:29.519 --> 00:47:34.840 engaged to someone in some way according to the conventional way of thinking, something 555 00:47:34.840 --> 00:47:37.559 wrong must be in people who have not yet established themselves as a formal couple 556 00:47:37.639 --> 00:47:45.079 because it will be something dark there must be no. The truth is, 557 00:47:45.199 --> 00:47:51.880 we have a social problem here. You, like the rest, are deeply 558 00:47:52.000 --> 00:47:55.880 terrified of loneliness, that is, the space and time you spend intimately relating 559 00:47:57.000 --> 00:48:01.320 to yourself, in plot, in contact with your inner world. How much 560 00:48:01.360 --> 00:48:07.320 time you spend each day really being with yourself, without evading what you feel 561 00:48:07.320 --> 00:48:12.320 when you are alone in silence and without external stimuli with which to distract yourself. 562 00:48:13.320 --> 00:48:15.760 And ultimately, you' re aware that running away from yourself is not 563 00:48:15.840 --> 00:48:21.119 the solution, but the problem. As much as you look the other way. 564 00:48:21.559 --> 00:48:24.719 It' s impossible for you to escape from you forever sooner or later. 565 00:48:24.760 --> 00:48:28.679 You' ll have no choice but to stand up and see what happens 566 00:48:28.760 --> 00:48:32.400 inside you. However, until the feeling of emptiness becomes unstoppable, you will 567 00:48:32.400 --> 00:48:37.760 desperately try to relieve the symptoms of the numerous patches you have at your disposal. 568 00:48:39.360 --> 00:48:45.599 One of your favorites is holding on to a sentimental bond. Thus, 569 00:48:45.920 --> 00:48:47.519 your desire to be a couple is not based on love for the other, 570 00:48:47.880 --> 00:48:52.320 but on the fear of being alone with yourself. Many times you seek in 571 00:48:52.360 --> 00:48:58.599 a sentimental companion, the antidote to your loneliness However, too often the remedy 572 00:48:58.639 --> 00:49:02.960 turns out much worse, worse than the disease. Because you don' t 573 00:49:02.960 --> 00:49:07.920 love yourself, you want to be loved by the mother of all your neuroses 574 00:49:07.920 --> 00:49:15.719 and pathologies It' s that you' ve spent too much time denying your 575 00:49:15.760 --> 00:49:21.960 being from there that you feel an immense void. And there is not enough 576 00:49:22.039 --> 00:49:24.760 love in this world to heal the pain you feel of not loving yourself. 577 00:49:27.800 --> 00:49:30.280 Think about it, how you' ll be able to give love to your 578 00:49:30.400 --> 00:49:36.159 partner if you have nothing to offer. You can only give what you have 579 00:49:36.239 --> 00:49:39.320 and you only have what you give yourself first to love another human being. 580 00:49:39.920 --> 00:49:45.119 You have to start by loving yourself. Your frustration is that you don' 581 00:49:45.159 --> 00:49:49.679 t know how to do it at school They told you about loving your neighbor 582 00:49:49.679 --> 00:49:53.800 as yourself. The problem is you exchanged order. The truth is that no 583 00:49:53.880 --> 00:49:58.559 one has ever taught you how to love you with what you have no idea 584 00:49:58.559 --> 00:50:02.800 what true love is. Emotional education remains one of the major gaps in the 585 00:50:02.840 --> 00:50:10.400 traditional education system. Schools are factories of illiterates and emotional begging. It is 586 00:50:10.440 --> 00:50:15.559 no coincidence that moved by your internal disconnection, as well as by your fear 587 00:50:15.679 --> 00:50:19.199 of loneliness, you enter the market of love from lack and scarcity, and 588 00:50:20.239 --> 00:50:23.679 with the aim of compensating for this birth wound, you have developed an ego, 589 00:50:23.880 --> 00:50:30.360 a personality, a character with which to get others to love you the 590 00:50:30.480 --> 00:50:34.639 things you have done so that others think well of you or worse the things 591 00:50:35.679 --> 00:50:42.199 you have stopped doing for the same dirty reason. Your poverty is to need 592 00:50:42.239 --> 00:50:45.360 and depend on another human being to be able to feel good. The kind 593 00:50:45.400 --> 00:50:49.800 of couple relationships you attract to your life are a reflection of how you relate 594 00:50:49.840 --> 00:50:53.639 to yourself. Love yourself with all your heart and you will never feel alone 595 00:50:53.679 --> 00:51:01.039 again. Start today you' re addicted to the madness that gives rise to 596 00:51:01.039 --> 00:51:07.159 falling in love. How nice it is to be in love, what a 597 00:51:07.239 --> 00:51:13.079 subpoena every time your phone rings, your guts are removed, small, euphoria, 598 00:51:13.320 --> 00:51:17.519 you experience when it' s him or her and what to say about 599 00:51:17.599 --> 00:51:21.719 the morreos that you hit Bocato di Cardinale. Suddenly you are full of vitality 600 00:51:21.800 --> 00:51:25.119 and energy and a smile is drawn on your face from ear to ear. 601 00:51:27.559 --> 00:51:31.159 That' s when you sit in heaven. Instead, when he doesn' 602 00:51:31.280 --> 00:51:36.000 t answer your calls, his ears get angry right away, you start eating 603 00:51:36.000 --> 00:51:39.400 the pot. All your inner demons agree to fill you with fear and anxiety. 604 00:51:42.119 --> 00:51:45.039 What a torment. That' s when everything melts to black, opening 605 00:51:45.440 --> 00:51:52.639 the door that can lead you to hell. The deeper your sense of emptiness 606 00:51:52.679 --> 00:51:58.000 and loneliness is, the more likely you are to fall in love with becoming 607 00:51:58.000 --> 00:52:01.119 a Yonky of the first encounters, clinging to or the illusion that brings you 608 00:52:01.199 --> 00:52:06.559 to know a new person. This constant search for subpoenas leads you to fantasize 609 00:52:06.599 --> 00:52:09.840 about that prince or, that princess capable of making you feel butterflies in your 610 00:52:09.840 --> 00:52:15.239 stomach. Deep down, it' s a flight from your own dissatisfaction and 611 00:52:15.320 --> 00:52:20.400 then what falling in love is. It' s a biochemical brain reaction, 612 00:52:21.000 --> 00:52:24.760 aimed at obsessing about a single person, so you can have enough sex with 613 00:52:24.800 --> 00:52:31.239 her to procreate, thus ensuring the survival of your species. Being in love, 614 00:52:31.280 --> 00:52:37.159 the same neural circuits are activated as when it is cocaine nymphs, you 615 00:52:37.239 --> 00:52:40.119 are blocked by reason and intellect and immersed in a state of madness and intense 616 00:52:40.159 --> 00:52:47.519 temporal euphoria. Completely drugged by your biology, you begin to idealize the other, 617 00:52:49.559 --> 00:52:52.599 projecting on him your romantic ideal as a couple. You fall in love 618 00:52:52.639 --> 00:52:59.599 with a fantasy and expectations are such that the host is as inevitable as it 619 00:52:59.599 --> 00:53:02.199 is painful. You think your life will only make sense as a couple. 620 00:53:02.320 --> 00:53:07.320 Looking for company to calm your fear of loneliness you also expect them to love 621 00:53:07.360 --> 00:53:13.719 you to fill your lack of love and while you fantasize about getting high again 622 00:53:13.760 --> 00:53:17.199 from falling in love. However, the most powerful reason that moves you to 623 00:53:17.280 --> 00:53:22.320 be a couple is another. You are totally convinced that your life will only 624 00:53:22.360 --> 00:53:27.519 be meaningful if you share it as a couple. It is a convention so 625 00:53:27.639 --> 00:53:31.039 accepted and integrated into the collective unconscious that you give it for absolute truth. 626 00:53:32.039 --> 00:53:36.679 However, whenever you find yourself thinking in the same way as most people do, 627 00:53:36.960 --> 00:53:39.480 it is essential that you pause and take some time to reflect on where 628 00:53:39.559 --> 00:53:45.960 it is written. That you have to share your existence with someone else. 629 00:53:45.960 --> 00:53:51.159 It' s better than living without a partner. It all depends on who 630 00:53:51.239 --> 00:53:57.800 you are and what your real needs and motivations are. Remember, you' 631 00:53:57.800 --> 00:54:00.559 re unique. You are not here to lead the same lifestyle as the rest, 632 00:54:00.880 --> 00:54:07.800 nor to live the same experiences. There are those who are destined to 633 00:54:07.880 --> 00:54:13.800 marry and have children, others just to be a couple and who knows. 634 00:54:14.079 --> 00:54:17.239 There may even be some who have come to this world to relate to many 635 00:54:17.280 --> 00:54:23.360 different people by maintaining different levels of commitment and intimacy. Don' t be 636 00:54:23.400 --> 00:54:29.000 fooled by the standardized society you live in. Only you can know what kind 637 00:54:29.079 --> 00:54:31.760 of relationship you' re made for. It doesn' t matter what they 638 00:54:31.840 --> 00:54:37.079 tell you or what they tell you. Just look around, learn to read 639 00:54:37.159 --> 00:54:44.440 between lines very few couples are happy sharing their lives is a collective neurosis. 640 00:54:45.679 --> 00:54:50.199 You won' t find a place with more conflict and suffering than in a 641 00:54:50.239 --> 00:54:53.239 conventional marriage of two people who don' t really want to be together. 642 00:54:54.360 --> 00:55:02.079 I' ve suffered it twice. Uve ls vicious circle of toxic couples, 643 00:55:02.719 --> 00:55:09.679 attitudes that make love and freedom as a couple impossible. Your relationship is a 644 00:55:09.800 --> 00:55:15.800 maximum security prison. You have ever listened carefully to the lyrics of the POP 645 00:55:15.920 --> 00:55:21.400 songs you love so much. You have realized the pearls of wisdom that include 646 00:55:21.480 --> 00:55:25.760 their refrains. I mean claims like without you I' m nothing. You 647 00:55:25.840 --> 00:55:30.800 are everything to me or my favorite. I can' t live with you 648 00:55:30.800 --> 00:55:37.039 or without you, and then, like the fuck, we get somebody to 649 00:55:37.119 --> 00:55:40.280 explain it to me just as romantic as you might think they all hide a 650 00:55:40.280 --> 00:55:44.480 common denominator. They' re written by the ego. Hence, they remind 651 00:55:44.519 --> 00:55:50.039 you of those moments of melancholy, sadness, and depression that you have experienced 652 00:55:50.079 --> 00:55:52.960 during your sentimental relationships. As long as the years have made you an adult. 653 00:55:53.679 --> 00:55:59.280 You may continue to live love in a childish way without being very aware 654 00:55:59.360 --> 00:56:01.760 of it. You' ve settled for your sedatives like attachment or dependence, 655 00:56:02.360 --> 00:56:07.960 since you still don' t know how to give yourself what you need to 656 00:56:07.960 --> 00:56:15.199 feel good. For yourself you depend emotionally on your partner. You need it 657 00:56:15.280 --> 00:56:19.360 and you blindly believe it' s your happiness. That' s why you 658 00:56:20.960 --> 00:56:25.000 hang on to it, using all kinds of bars and invisible chains to keep 659 00:56:25.079 --> 00:56:30.320 it tied at all costs does whatever happens. That' s when you make 660 00:56:30.360 --> 00:56:34.400 the other one the center of your existence. Suddenly your well- being is 661 00:56:34.440 --> 00:56:38.599 subject to how your partner relates to you as much as it hurts to recognize 662 00:56:38.679 --> 00:56:44.400 what you call congratulations. Actually, your prison is no coincidence that in a 663 00:56:44.440 --> 00:56:49.800 conventional marriage a man becomes a husband and a woman becomes a wife. More 664 00:56:49.920 --> 00:56:54.320 clearly impossible, attachment and emotional dependence make you a slave to your partner, 665 00:56:54.519 --> 00:57:00.159 so much so that you do not dare to separate and in extreme cases, 666 00:57:00.199 --> 00:57:04.480 you do not come to justify and perpetuate a relationship marked by conflict, struggle 667 00:57:04.519 --> 00:57:08.519 and suffering. You think of your partner as a private property. By believing 668 00:57:08.519 --> 00:57:15.719 that your happiness depends on the person you want, you destroy any possibility of 669 00:57:15.840 --> 00:57:20.880 loving her small irony under the spell of this false belief, you are so 670 00:57:20.960 --> 00:57:24.800 afraid to lose your partner that you start adopting defensive and offensive behaviors. It 671 00:57:24.880 --> 00:57:31.199 is then that possessivity, control and jealousy appear. This word comes from the 672 00:57:31.320 --> 00:57:36.239 Greek jealousy, which means suspicion, that it feels like something is taken from 673 00:57:36.239 --> 00:57:40.480 you. All these toxic attitudes reveal that you see your sentimental partner as something 674 00:57:40.559 --> 00:57:45.800 that belongs to you. When you see him talking and laughing in the company 675 00:57:45.840 --> 00:57:49.679 of someone attractive of the opposite sex, your most animal and primitive part is 676 00:57:49.679 --> 00:57:53.400 activated. On those occasions you' d like to pee around her. Like 677 00:57:53.440 --> 00:57:59.920 saying it' s mine, and not only that in your most animated dreams. 678 00:58:00.159 --> 00:58:02.679 You wish your name were tattooed on his body next to the heading, 679 00:58:02.960 --> 00:58:08.719 mature private property. Once upon a time, the person you share your life 680 00:58:08.840 --> 00:58:15.360 with is not yours, does not belong to you, is with you because 681 00:58:15.440 --> 00:58:21.440 he wants it decided freely and voluntarily, and there is no one in this 682 00:58:21.440 --> 00:58:24.519 universe made for you, just as you are not made for anyone. Love 683 00:58:24.559 --> 00:58:30.519 is not jealous. You' re the jealous one, and you' re 684 00:58:30.599 --> 00:58:32.840 the jealous one because you' re still tyrannized by the ego. You' 685 00:58:32.840 --> 00:58:36.519 re thinking about yourself, about your needs, not about each other' s 686 00:58:36.519 --> 00:58:40.840 needs. Is this love? The truth is, all your jealous attacks are 687 00:58:40.920 --> 00:58:50.159 unfounded. They reveal the size of your shortcomings and insecurities. The funny paradox 688 00:58:50.280 --> 00:58:54.519 is that they are an invitation to infidelity. They act as a self- 689 00:58:54.519 --> 00:58:59.599 fulfilling prophecy. They take you to get the opposite of what you intend to 690 00:58:59.679 --> 00:59:04.239 lose your partner, instead of keeping it from now on. When you say 691 00:59:04.280 --> 00:59:08.639 my husband or my wife, please put mine in italics. You want your 692 00:59:08.679 --> 00:59:13.079 partner to fulfill your ideal of perfection. Now that he' s not in 693 00:59:13.360 --> 00:59:15.639 front of you, recognize him. There are certain attitudes and behaviors of your 694 00:59:15.679 --> 00:59:20.280 partner that drive you out of your mind. If you had a magic wand, 695 00:59:20.639 --> 00:59:24.440 you wouldn' t hesitate to use it to change those traits of his 696 00:59:24.440 --> 00:59:30.199 personality that bother you so much. Don' t worry, don' t 697 00:59:30.239 --> 00:59:34.679 feel bad Your sentimental partner has the exact same thing going on. There are 698 00:59:34.719 --> 00:59:37.679 aspects of IT that can' t stand as much as you tell her how 699 00:59:37.679 --> 00:59:40.440 much you love her. The sad reality is that you don' t accept 700 00:59:40.599 --> 00:59:46.159 your partner as he is, you don' t respect his little idiosyncrasies, 701 00:59:46.519 --> 00:59:50.559 nor do you honor his uniqueness as a human being. You want to change 702 00:59:50.599 --> 00:59:54.320 it to accommodate the idea that your ego has about how it should be unconsciously. 703 00:59:54.840 --> 01:00:00.000 You expect your expectations to be met if not. Today one day. 704 01:00:00.159 --> 01:00:06.199 In this way you cause three completely self- destructive results. First of all, 705 01:00:06.519 --> 01:00:12.519 you get frustrated by never ever getting it to change. Secondly, your 706 01:00:12.519 --> 01:00:19.480 partner feels less and less valued and loved. And finally, you both start 707 01:00:19.559 --> 01:00:24.679 constantly judging and criticizing each other. That' s when it seems like you 708 01:00:24.760 --> 01:00:29.880 ' ve come together to ruin your life. One to another breaks this vicious 709 01:00:30.000 --> 01:00:36.239 circle. Understand that your partner is the way he is and it is quite 710 01:00:36.320 --> 01:00:39.639 possible that he will never change. If you don' t like it, 711 01:00:40.159 --> 01:00:45.000 don' t fall into the mistake of idealizing it and stop trying to change 712 01:00:45.000 --> 01:00:50.199 it. That' s violence, not love. Besides, it' s 713 01:00:50.320 --> 01:00:54.119 a lost battle in advance. Don' t look for the perfect man or 714 01:00:54.480 --> 01:00:58.960 woman if you find them, he or she may also be looking for the 715 01:00:59.039 --> 01:01:02.920 perfect couple and don' t be offended. But the sure thing is it 716 01:01:02.960 --> 01:01:07.679 ' s not you, the perfect woman and the perfect man. There is 717 01:01:07.679 --> 01:01:12.760 no God free us. Those who are about to get them become neurotic, 718 01:01:13.239 --> 01:01:19.400 sick, and unloving people, you think you can do whatever you want, 719 01:01:19.599 --> 01:01:22.800 attachment, dependence, possessiveness, expectations and demands are usually at the core of 720 01:01:22.840 --> 01:01:30.440 your relationship. That' s why it' s inevitable that sooner or later 721 01:01:30.480 --> 01:01:34.239 you' ll finish up your partner' s tomatoes. Only then do you 722 01:01:34.239 --> 01:01:37.039 get rid of the guilt that prevented you from doing whatever you wanted to by 723 01:01:37.079 --> 01:01:42.559 allowing yourself to be selfish, maybe you weren' t all the time. 724 01:01:42.679 --> 01:01:46.039 Even though society has made you associate this word with being mean, I ruin 725 01:01:46.039 --> 01:01:51.320 even bad person. It' s hard to find someone who isn' t, 726 01:01:51.760 --> 01:01:54.119 in fact, selfish, who think more about their needs than yours. 727 01:01:55.920 --> 01:02:00.000 The truth is that being selfish is neither good nor bad. He' s 728 01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:04.880 a fool. You need to think of yourself to survive physically and emotionally. 729 01:02:05.960 --> 01:02:09.679 Deep down, everything you do is for you. For starters, why you 730 01:02:09.760 --> 01:02:15.519 paired up when analyzing the motivations behind your decisions and behaviors, you' ll 731 01:02:15.880 --> 01:02:21.000 always find a profit per small, which justifies that you' ve carried them 732 01:02:21.079 --> 01:02:24.559 out. Now, depending on your level of consciousness and your degree of understanding. 733 01:02:27.039 --> 01:02:30.719 This selfishness can be lived in very different ways. The most common one 734 01:02:30.760 --> 01:02:37.519 is called egocentric selfishness, bewitched by your desires and expectations. You don' 735 01:02:37.559 --> 01:02:42.280 t take into account your partner' s needs. Your priorities always go first 736 01:02:43.280 --> 01:02:47.239 and you get so mixed up with you that you stop seeing it ironically. 737 01:02:47.639 --> 01:02:52.719 The more self- centered your view of the world, the more selfish you 738 01:02:52.800 --> 01:02:57.559 are to those around you, the more you find excuses to justify your own 739 01:02:57.559 --> 01:03:01.480 selfishness. No sounding at someone doesn' t mean, depending, but neither 740 01:03:01.599 --> 01:03:06.440 does going to your ball. Balance is achieved by using the communication tool to 741 01:03:06.440 --> 01:03:12.679 reach agreements and covenants that promote love and freedom as a couple. I saw 742 01:03:12.760 --> 01:03:17.360 the time to say. Goodbye infallible indicators to know if your relationship is over. 743 01:03:19.840 --> 01:03:22.760 You don' t value or care for your partner, you take it 744 01:03:22.760 --> 01:03:25.960 for granted. In many couples who still live together, though completely separated. 745 01:03:28.159 --> 01:03:31.079 The truth is that most of the people we' ve divorced often confess once 746 01:03:31.159 --> 01:03:36.320 the time has passed that we could have broken that relationship many years earlier. 747 01:03:37.800 --> 01:03:40.079 That' s why right now you might be with someone you don' t 748 01:03:40.079 --> 01:03:45.079 want to go on with anymore. There are several infallible indicators to know if 749 01:03:45.119 --> 01:03:49.280 your relationship is over. One of them is that you take your partner for 750 01:03:49.320 --> 01:03:52.000 granted, you think he' ll always be by your side. Whatever you 751 01:03:52.000 --> 01:03:57.880 do doesn' t have much value for you anymore. That' s why 752 01:03:57.960 --> 01:04:02.719 you don' t take care of her or even think about her like you 753 01:04:02.719 --> 01:04:05.840 did at first. In her day, you tied her up, you had 754 01:04:05.960 --> 01:04:11.519 to conquer her, but the moment you got her, little by little, 755 01:04:11.639 --> 01:04:15.800 she was dying. The romance that no one confuses. The flame of passion 756 01:04:15.840 --> 01:04:18.800 does not decay when you get married, but when the courtship is left behind, 757 01:04:20.039 --> 01:04:28.039 that is, when slowly and imperceptibly disappears in the flirtation the gallanteo the 758 01:04:28.039 --> 01:04:33.119 seduction, the outbursts, the kisses, the affection, the caresses and the 759 01:04:34.039 --> 01:04:40.840 tenderness and when it is put out you definitely end up conforming to the law 760 01:04:40.840 --> 01:04:44.400 of the least effort. Your relationship works just like a flower If you don 761 01:04:44.519 --> 01:04:48.599 ' t water it, it ends up withering and in this case you can 762 01:04:48.639 --> 01:04:53.719 ' t delegate it to any automatic irrigation. It can' t be outsourced 763 01:04:53.719 --> 01:04:57.800 either. Keeping love alive requires your will and commitment, an attitude that cannot 764 01:04:57.840 --> 01:05:03.719 be forced or imposed. It is a personal decision of each one and has 765 01:05:03.840 --> 01:05:09.119 nothing to do with going through a courthouse or a church. It' s 766 01:05:09.159 --> 01:05:14.239 not a legal or religious matter. It' s something much deeper. Unless 767 01:05:14.280 --> 01:05:17.199 you feel grateful for sharing your life with your partner, it will be impossible 768 01:05:17.320 --> 01:05:23.199 for you to value it as it deserves and, as a result, you 769 01:05:23.280 --> 01:05:27.199 will inevitably lose it. You' re so bored next to him, you 770 01:05:27.199 --> 01:05:29.159 ' d rather argue. You have spent so much time with your partner, 771 01:05:29.440 --> 01:05:32.480 as required by law, that the excess of cohabitation has ended up taking your 772 01:05:32.480 --> 01:05:39.519 toll. It is at this point that another irrefutable indicator appears that the thing 773 01:05:39.639 --> 01:05:44.239 is over. You don' t know what to talk to him about You 774 01:05:44.320 --> 01:05:46.840 spend time watching TV next to him, as well as hanging out with other 775 01:05:47.840 --> 01:05:51.519 couples with whom to kill time forcibly, almost to disguise the distance between you. 776 01:05:51.880 --> 01:05:57.320 You tell yourself that you have to organize some romantic plan and you' 777 01:05:57.320 --> 01:06:00.760 re going to have dinner at a candlelit restaurant. However, there are such 778 01:06:00.800 --> 01:06:04.320 expectations that that night has to be special that you will suddenly remain blank. 779 01:06:06.199 --> 01:06:11.119 You can' t think of anything interesting to say but to tell him about 780 01:06:11.159 --> 01:06:15.079 what you' ve done during the day, that is, the same scratched 781 01:06:15.159 --> 01:06:18.360 record as always that doesn' t even give for half a conversation. Soon. 782 01:06:19.079 --> 01:06:21.559 You just eat, drink and, from time to time, watch the 783 01:06:21.599 --> 01:06:27.400 rest of the couples that have dinner at your side. You may even try 784 01:06:27.400 --> 01:06:30.320 to listen to what they say, if only to be able to comment on 785 01:06:30.360 --> 01:06:34.000 what you have heard among yourselves. Yeah. There is no communication or intellectual 786 01:06:34.039 --> 01:06:40.039 stimulation, if ever there was, you have lost interest and curiosity in continuing 787 01:06:40.039 --> 01:06:45.880 to inquire about the human being before you. That is when silence begins to 788 01:06:45.960 --> 01:06:54.360 be heard and is most eloquent. That' s why you feel so uncomfortable 789 01:06:54.440 --> 01:06:57.519 even when your partner yells at you. You think it' s a nicer 790 01:06:57.519 --> 01:07:00.800 feeling. In fact, there comes a time when you' re so tired 791 01:07:00.880 --> 01:07:05.159 and bored of your partner that you' d rather argue and fight over any 792 01:07:05.199 --> 01:07:10.039 minute than feel the unbearable void between you. From there, the relationship becomes 793 01:07:10.079 --> 01:07:15.440 more oquistic. As the worst comes out of you, you begin to mistreat 794 01:07:15.480 --> 01:07:19.800 each other. You don' t even remember the last time you met sexually. 795 01:07:21.239 --> 01:07:26.880 Let' s go to the mother of all the undisputed indicators to scientifically 796 01:07:26.920 --> 01:07:30.440 verify that your relationship has come to an end to see, as it were 797 01:07:30.480 --> 01:07:33.039 in a subtle and elegant way, so that you don' t be offended 798 01:07:33.039 --> 01:07:38.000 or shocked. Your relationship is dead, yes, you haven' t fucked 799 01:07:38.000 --> 01:07:41.440 in a long time. Call it making love. If so, you feel 800 01:07:41.480 --> 01:07:45.800 better and intuit that still has to happen a little more so that you get 801 01:07:45.840 --> 01:07:49.320 back into bed and really enjoy if that' s possible to happen again in 802 01:07:49.400 --> 01:07:54.400 case you don' t even remember the last time your partner made you horny, 803 01:07:54.679 --> 01:07:57.880 know that your partner has become something else, roommate, maybe father of 804 01:07:57.920 --> 01:08:09.159 your children, maybe partner of your family business. Perhaps it is true that 805 01:08:09.239 --> 01:08:14.519 you continue to maintain certain roles that make you stay in permanent contact. However, 806 01:08:14.880 --> 01:08:16.600 they had nothing to do with the man and woman who fell in love 807 01:08:16.680 --> 01:08:26.279 and decided to share their lives together. There' s no trace of you 808 01:08:26.279 --> 01:08:31.079 anymore. Attraction and desire have vanished and it is no less. From time 809 01:08:31.199 --> 01:08:36.399 to time, practice sex with the same person and from time to time, 810 01:08:36.960 --> 01:08:41.720 practice it mechanically and repetitively. The grace of the matter is lost. Suddenly 811 01:08:41.800 --> 01:08:45.000 you become two individuals who rub and stimulate their genitals, one against the other, 812 01:08:45.319 --> 01:08:51.159 seeking each one their own pleasure. It is a behavior as primary as 813 01:08:51.199 --> 01:08:57.079 it is unconscious. It' s one more form of evasion. It' 814 01:08:57.199 --> 01:09:01.560 s nothing bad, but it has consequences. In time you become desexualized, 815 01:09:01.920 --> 01:09:06.920 losing your motivation to sleep together. It' s like you know the body 816 01:09:08.000 --> 01:09:12.800 of your memory partner. That' s why you fantasize about having sex with 817 01:09:12.840 --> 01:09:18.439 other people. If you haven' t already, don' t postpone the 818 01:09:18.439 --> 01:09:25.279 inevitable. Dare to end your relationship. It' s not worth sticking to. 819 01:09:25.399 --> 01:09:29.560 The idea that love is for life is simply an idea and quite absurd. 820 01:09:31.319 --> 01:09:35.920 By the way, the worst part is that you thought you could do 821 01:09:36.000 --> 01:09:41.399 it. It doesn' t mean it has to be, take a little 822 01:09:41.399 --> 01:09:43.600 bit and do what you know you' ve been putting off for a while 823 01:09:43.600 --> 01:09:47.760 now. Don' t justify your unhappiness another day. If there is no 824 01:09:47.760 --> 01:09:51.880 bliss, there is no point in being a couple, It does not have 825 01:09:51.920 --> 01:09:58.039 to be until death do you part However, the truth is that, as 826 01:09:58.039 --> 01:10:01.640 you do not part, you will end up killing yourself truly eternal love does 827 01:10:01.640 --> 01:10:05.479 not exist. That doesn' t mean you don' t have the ability 828 01:10:05.520 --> 01:10:10.239 to love someone else again. Don' t doubt it. Be faithful to 829 01:10:10.279 --> 01:10:14.079 love and not so much to the couple. Living with a person who doesn 830 01:10:14.119 --> 01:10:16.760 ' t love that yes, that' s a sin. Never keep a 831 01:10:16.840 --> 01:10:23.039 marriage dead for the children alive. Without a doubt, it' s the 832 01:10:23.079 --> 01:10:28.199 worst thing you can do. Everything that starts ends sooner or later. It 833 01:10:28.319 --> 01:10:34.439 is an eternal and immutable law. Nothing is forever. This phenomenon is known 834 01:10:34.520 --> 01:10:42.399 as impermanence, that is, the inability of reality to remain still and stable 835 01:10:42.479 --> 01:10:47.560 in the same place or state. Everything is constantly changing, mutating and evolving. 836 01:10:49.520 --> 01:10:55.600 You too, as your partner Your relationship has transformed us, although perhaps 837 01:10:55.680 --> 01:11:00.520 not in the same direction. Don' t make yourself love someone. It 838 01:11:00.560 --> 01:11:05.119 doesn' t work that way. It deals with the situation with maturity and 839 01:11:05.239 --> 01:11:12.479 acts generously. Put aside the grudges and reproaches of the ego. End with 840 01:11:12.600 --> 01:11:16.720 the same love you started the relationship with. Take your share of responsibility, 841 01:11:17.680 --> 01:11:24.439 apologize for the mistakes made, thank you for all the shared moments, release 842 01:11:24.479 --> 01:11:30.119 the other and feel at peace with what has happened, do not feel failed. 843 01:11:32.119 --> 01:11:38.319 It happens to almost every couple your decision to put up with resignation. 844 01:11:38.399 --> 01:11:42.640 Your marriage is moved by your fear of failure. It is what has to 845 01:11:42.640 --> 01:11:46.560 be married conventionally that, while it prevents you from leaving it to the first 846 01:11:47.000 --> 01:11:53.199 disagreement, it also exposes you more to the criticism of others to begin with 847 01:11:53.279 --> 01:11:58.199 your wedding guests. Anyway, that' s silly. The only real failure 848 01:11:58.199 --> 01:12:02.720 would be if you didn' t learn from the safe experience that serves to 849 01:12:02.760 --> 01:12:08.000 get to know you better and build a new way to relate. Besides, 850 01:12:08.319 --> 01:12:14.000 what do you really know about the marriages you know, how much time you 851 01:12:14.000 --> 01:12:16.119 spend with them. Dirty rags wash at home before they go out on the 852 01:12:16.159 --> 01:12:21.520 street. You don' t know what guest syndrome is. The couple may 853 01:12:21.520 --> 01:12:27.119 be distanced and even angry, but it' s enough for a guest to 854 01:12:27.199 --> 01:12:30.039 show up at home so that they can show their best face right away. 855 01:12:30.199 --> 01:12:33.920 Another mechanism of the ego, in this case, that of the couple as 856 01:12:34.039 --> 01:12:40.880 a social unit. In fact, when someone in your environment separates, it 857 01:12:41.279 --> 01:12:45.720 immediately leads you to think about your sentimental situation and more than one becomes embalmed 858 01:12:47.119 --> 01:12:51.960 by stopping postponing the inevitable. Today there is such a contagion that an epidemic 859 01:12:51.960 --> 01:12:58.199 of separations, ruptures and divorces begins to appear and, since it is a 860 01:12:58.199 --> 01:13:02.399 socially accepted phenomenon, there is no longer so much fear that they will tell 861 01:13:02.479 --> 01:13:05.880 you what the hell they will tell you if they too have separated. This 862 01:13:05.960 --> 01:13:10.039 is one of the reasons why people used to endure so much and now, 863 01:13:10.399 --> 01:13:15.840 instead, endure so little. It puts an end to a relationship at the 864 01:13:15.840 --> 01:13:18.399 very least. It is just as wrong as perpetuating it when there is absolutely 865 01:13:18.479 --> 01:13:23.439 nothing left to hold it together. It' s not about endurance, it 866 01:13:23.520 --> 01:13:28.279 ' s about enjoying, and for that, there' s no choice but 867 01:13:28.359 --> 01:13:31.399 to conceive your relationship as a couple as a learning process. Part two, 868 01:13:31.479 --> 01:13:41.159 seventy- seven. Couple learning seven. Opposite poles are attracted to why you 869 01:13:41.199 --> 01:13:46.079 look at a certain profile of people, do not confuse culture with nature. 870 01:13:47.680 --> 01:13:51.359 One thing is who you are as a human being and another, who you 871 01:13:51.399 --> 01:13:56.399 must be according to the parameters of your family environment, and it is not 872 01:13:56.439 --> 01:13:59.960 the same. The kind of personal relationship that suits you that the standardized mold 873 01:14:00.359 --> 01:14:04.159 that society proposes you does not form part of the contemporary farce according to which 874 01:14:04.239 --> 01:14:09.319 you are a man or a woman, you have to adopt according to what 875 01:14:09.399 --> 01:14:13.600 established roles, the conception that, as a husband, you must be the 876 01:14:13.600 --> 01:14:15.079 provider, that you must bring bread home or that, as a wife, 877 01:14:15.159 --> 01:14:19.359 you must take care of the labors of homes of another age. We already 878 01:14:19.399 --> 01:14:25.399 know that this sexist patriarchy is out of date. That does not mean that 879 01:14:25.439 --> 01:14:28.279 the woman, in her desire to conquer and maintain equality with the man, 880 01:14:28.520 --> 01:14:31.239 now has to dress in suit and tie while her partner takes care of household 881 01:14:31.239 --> 01:14:36.239 chores. Women must not try to play the role that men are now to 882 01:14:36.319 --> 01:14:43.439 play, and a man must not strive to act as women have been expected 883 01:14:43.560 --> 01:14:51.800 to do. Everyone has to be himself. Each one has to know what 884 01:14:51.840 --> 01:14:56.880 motivates him to contribute to the service of the relationship. Regardless of the social 885 01:14:56.960 --> 01:15:00.239 conventions of the time, stop once and for all seeking equality between the sexes. 886 01:15:01.800 --> 01:15:05.560 It' s absurd. Women and men aren' t the same, 887 01:15:06.680 --> 01:15:13.520 they' re completely different bugs. Emancipate yourself from culture, that is, 888 01:15:13.880 --> 01:15:17.720 from the set of beliefs, assumptions, prejudices and stereotypes with which you have 889 01:15:17.760 --> 01:15:25.720 been conditioned to live according to your own nature. This is your uniqueness as 890 01:15:25.800 --> 01:15:29.119 a human being, which comes as a serial, for it is something innate. 891 01:15:30.079 --> 01:15:33.680 Your challenge is to choose freely and voluntarily how you want to live your 892 01:15:33.720 --> 01:15:38.279 relationship according to your true needs and motivations. Like a man or a woman. 893 01:15:39.600 --> 01:15:44.880 Your biology determines your psychology. If you' re a man, you 894 01:15:44.920 --> 01:15:48.039 ' re expected to succeed, money and power, not in hand. Women 895 01:15:48.079 --> 01:15:54.159 want men with resources. On the other hand, if you are a woman, 896 01:15:54.479 --> 01:16:00.119 you better be attractive, complacent and helpful, mainly because men seek beautiful 897 01:16:00.199 --> 01:16:04.760 females to provide services to them, but that part of these generalizations come from 898 01:16:04.760 --> 01:16:10.399 society and which have their origin in biology when it comes to establishing roles within 899 01:16:10.479 --> 01:16:15.239 your relationship, what your beliefs or instincts prevail more about what your lifestyle would 900 01:16:15.359 --> 01:16:20.720 be like in pairs if you dared to follow your true nature. The answer 901 01:16:20.760 --> 01:16:26.119 to these questions can free you from what prevents you from being yourself. While 902 01:16:26.199 --> 01:16:30.279 stereotypes often carry some reason, they are not the truth in themselves. It 903 01:16:30.359 --> 01:16:33.960 is obvious that women and men are very different human beings in physical, emotional 904 01:16:33.960 --> 01:16:40.199 and sexual terms. Without going any further, the woman pretends that one man 905 01:16:40.279 --> 01:16:45.760 meets all her needs, while the man dreams that all women will satisfy their 906 01:16:45.800 --> 01:16:56.279 only need. In short, each has its own concerns and aspirations. You 907 01:16:56.319 --> 01:17:00.880 can' t expect the opposite sex to be the way you are, but 908 01:17:00.880 --> 01:17:03.239 to want your partner to want what you want and feel what you feel. 909 01:17:03.640 --> 01:17:08.760 It' s not like that. The first step in building a more satisfying 910 01:17:08.800 --> 01:17:14.079 couple relationship is to understand a universal principle. Men and women share the same 911 01:17:14.159 --> 01:17:18.399 origin. They come from the same source from which all things have arisen. 912 01:17:19.840 --> 01:17:26.159 However, women and men are moved by different forces. As much as culture 913 01:17:26.199 --> 01:17:30.399 pretends that you and your partner are the same. You have nothing to do 914 01:17:30.399 --> 01:17:34.880 with it. It is time to honor that difference and this is very easy 915 01:17:34.920 --> 01:17:42.039 to say, gives for a few years of exploration and learning you prefer to 916 01:17:42.039 --> 01:17:45.800 conquer or be conquered as a human being. You' ve come to this 917 01:17:45.880 --> 01:17:51.800 world endowed with a particular biological motor, better known as sexual essence and what 918 01:17:51.800 --> 01:17:57.119 the fuck is this you' ll be wondering. This is an animal instinct, 919 01:17:57.479 --> 01:18:00.840 a drive that moves you to do as you are in the face of 920 01:18:00.920 --> 01:18:04.960 very primary questions. The universal symbol that best tangibilizes this subtle aspect of your 921 01:18:05.000 --> 01:18:11.079 human condition is that of the jin and the yan of Taoist philosophy you know 922 01:18:11.479 --> 01:18:15.039 a circumference divided by a half shaped like sperm, white with a black dot, 923 01:18:15.399 --> 01:18:19.960 and another exactly the same, but black with a white dot. These 924 01:18:20.039 --> 01:18:26.039 two halves represent the two energies contained in that sexual essence, the female jin 925 01:18:26.199 --> 01:18:31.239 and the male yang. These two principles are opposite, complementary and interdependent. 926 01:18:32.359 --> 01:18:35.720 While you have a little bit of both. One of these two poles enjoys 927 01:18:35.800 --> 01:18:41.600 more weight within you In general, the vast majority of women are born with 928 01:18:41.720 --> 01:18:45.800 a female sexual essence. Her priority is the search for love, affection and 929 01:18:45.840 --> 01:18:53.439 complicity in her world of affective relationships led by her partner. On the other 930 01:18:53.880 --> 01:18:59.720 hand, almost all men have a male sexual essence in s s s s 931 01:18:59.920 --> 01:19:04.720 s n n s case, their priority is to seek freedom at all costs, 932 01:19:05.159 --> 01:19:11.079 investing a lot of time and energy in achieving their goals and objectives, 933 01:19:12.079 --> 01:19:14.760 both from a biological, psychological and spiritual perspective. It' s not the 934 01:19:14.760 --> 01:19:17.680 same to be female sexual essence as male. That' s why men are 935 01:19:17.760 --> 01:19:23.159 said to be from Mars and women are from Venus. It can be said 936 01:19:23.199 --> 01:19:28.760 higher, but no clearer by putting a completely valid example nonsense. On the 937 01:19:28.840 --> 01:19:32.159 other hand, the masculine likes to conquer, while the feminine prefers to be 938 01:19:32.239 --> 01:19:41.720 conquered. And you' re what a sexual essence you' re because you 939 01:19:41.800 --> 01:19:45.000 ' re attracted to opposite people. I' m gonna cut to the chase. 940 01:19:45.319 --> 01:19:49.279 The male sexual essence is attracted by the female sexual essence or, in 941 01:19:49.319 --> 01:19:54.600 other words, the male men put their energy pole opposite the female women and 942 01:19:54.960 --> 01:20:01.199 vice versa. Obviously, the same thing happens in homosexual couples, in which 943 01:20:01.600 --> 01:20:04.720 one of the two embodies the jin energy and the other calls it As you 944 01:20:05.039 --> 01:20:10.840 well know, one of the keys for partner relationships to endure is to keep 945 01:20:10.880 --> 01:20:15.920 the sexual passion on. So it doesn' t fade away. It is 946 01:20:15.960 --> 01:20:19.159 necessary that one of the two lovers in flesh and power, the male role, 947 01:20:19.680 --> 01:20:24.279 security, strength and initiative, and the other, the female, whose 948 01:20:24.359 --> 01:20:29.920 most outstanding features are affectivity, sensitivity and receptivity. To the extent that lovers 949 01:20:29.960 --> 01:20:33.800 polarize by knowing and respecting their differences, sexual desire remains in better shape for 950 01:20:33.840 --> 01:20:41.640 many more years. It' s a simple matter of energy polarity. Hence 951 01:20:41.640 --> 01:20:46.720 the importance of accentuating the differences between the masculine and the feminine. The more 952 01:20:46.760 --> 01:20:51.840 distance and opposition greater and more intense the attraction to the other. If you 953 01:20:51.880 --> 01:20:56.880 look at those couples in which the woman embodies the male sexual essence, her 954 01:20:57.119 --> 01:21:01.960 partner usually represents the female sexual essence. There are more neutral ones in which 955 01:21:02.000 --> 01:21:08.079 there is not so much polarity than by opposition. In this case they are 956 01:21:08.119 --> 01:21:12.600 relationships by affinity. While there is not so much tension and conflict, there 957 01:21:12.680 --> 01:21:17.399 is also not so much learning and growth. Discuss less, but also enjoy 958 01:21:17.439 --> 01:21:25.640 less sexual libido They are neither easier nor more difficult. They' re neither 959 01:21:25.720 --> 01:21:30.399 worse nor better. They' re different. Ironically, the masculine and the 960 01:21:30.439 --> 01:21:33.840 feminine have a lot to learn from each other. Hence, the couple is 961 01:21:33.880 --> 01:21:40.000 the perfect place to learn it. Your partner does not complete you, but 962 01:21:40.079 --> 01:21:44.439 complements you, since you are irretrievably attracted to opposite people, do not get 963 01:21:44.479 --> 01:21:48.039 involved in a relationship unless you know how to welcome someone different from you if 964 01:21:48.079 --> 01:21:50.960 you are not able, become a priest or nun, but don' t 965 01:21:50.960 --> 01:21:57.640 lííes. Don' t complicate your existence. Men and women feel and yearn 966 01:21:57.680 --> 01:22:02.039 for different things. Over time, these differences give rise to disappointments, reproaches, 967 01:22:02.920 --> 01:22:09.039 arguments and fights. For there to be peace and harmony, you must 968 01:22:09.079 --> 01:22:13.920 first dissolve the emotional disarray that separates you from each other. And this involves 969 01:22:14.000 --> 01:22:16.760 understanding, accepting and loving your partner as it is integrating into you a love 970 01:22:17.079 --> 01:22:23.199 that will not only transform you, but also renew your life. It sounds 971 01:22:23.279 --> 01:22:27.640 very nice, but it involves a learning of the host. Since your partner 972 01:22:27.680 --> 01:22:31.560 and you come from different planets, you have no idea how to support or 973 01:22:31.640 --> 01:22:36.159 nourish yourself. Each gives in the relationship what he wants to receive, for 974 01:22:36.199 --> 01:22:44.720 you both mistakenly assume that the other has the same needs and desires. The 975 01:22:44.760 --> 01:22:51.039 result is that you end up dissatisfied and resentful both. You think you' 976 01:22:51.079 --> 01:22:57.039 re giving without receiving compensation. You also consider that your way of loving is 977 01:22:57.079 --> 01:23:00.680 neither recognized nor valued. The truth is that you both give love, but 978 01:23:00.760 --> 01:23:05.000 not in the way expected. Hence, no one gets what he needs. 979 01:23:06.000 --> 01:23:11.119 At this point, the most common thing is that you begin to criticize and 980 01:23:11.159 --> 01:23:15.359 judge yourselves by the mere fact that you are as distinct from the other. 981 01:23:15.359 --> 01:23:20.960 It is not a question of eliminating the difference, but of taking advantage of 982 01:23:20.960 --> 01:23:23.880 it to complement you as a couple, rather than trying to change the other. 983 01:23:24.279 --> 01:23:27.720 The challenge is to learn what your partner has come to teach you. 984 01:23:28.760 --> 01:23:32.439 Only if you can integrate the male and female poles inside you becoming a more 985 01:23:32.520 --> 01:23:39.359 conscious and complete human being. Eight Women have vaginas. What moves women to 986 01:23:39.399 --> 01:23:44.840 be the way they are. As a woman, your greatest desire is to 987 01:23:44.840 --> 01:23:49.039 feel loved. Let' s start with the woman always in the first place, 988 01:23:50.119 --> 01:23:54.279 not or more specifically with the female sexual essence. The biological brain with 989 01:23:54.359 --> 01:23:59.720 which you come as a serial if this energetic polarity prevails in you your most 990 01:23:59.720 --> 01:24:05.640 birgra value is love, especially that which flows in your personal relationships. You 991 01:24:05.680 --> 01:24:09.840 won' t find two women the same, though. As a member of 992 01:24:09.880 --> 01:24:14.239 the female sex, you have a fundamental motivation, that of sharing your life 993 01:24:15.319 --> 01:24:18.359 with others and, since you are very intuitive and empathetic, contrary to the 994 01:24:18.439 --> 01:24:23.960 needs of the people around you, you do not need to be asked for 995 01:24:24.960 --> 01:24:27.560 help to offer it, for you to give support and offer suggestions. It 996 01:24:27.680 --> 01:24:31.960 ' s a sign of interest and complicity. That does never invalidate the emotions 997 01:24:32.039 --> 01:24:40.520 of the opposite and you never offer solutions. When you speak, you define 998 01:24:40.600 --> 01:24:45.640 yourself through your feelings and the quality of your relationships. When you' re 999 01:24:45.640 --> 01:24:51.720 upset, you talk openly about your problems to listen to and feel listened to, 1000 01:24:53.479 --> 01:24:56.520 you seek support, relief, and understanding. This is how you build 1001 01:24:56.600 --> 01:25:00.359 your bonds of intimacy and trust. You realize you' re sharing your inner 1002 01:25:00.359 --> 01:25:05.239 world. You give it more importance than achieving goals or goals within your relationship. 1003 01:25:06.680 --> 01:25:13.600 You bring affection, tenderness, delicacy, beauty and sensitivity and your energy, 1004 01:25:14.039 --> 01:25:17.279 Jean leads you to be more passive and receptive. You want your partner 1005 01:25:17.399 --> 01:25:23.000 to give you affection without having to ask you as a female sexual essence. 1006 01:25:23.399 --> 01:25:29.000 Your primary need is to feel loved and to be able to satisfy it, 1007 01:25:29.159 --> 01:25:32.920 your partner must pamper you to think about yourself, to worry about your well 1008 01:25:33.119 --> 01:25:35.720 - being, to put you in the first place, in short, to 1009 01:25:35.720 --> 01:25:39.720 give you what you need. This is a lot of love. You may 1010 01:25:39.760 --> 01:25:43.760 not consider yourself a princess, but the truth is, you secretly love being 1011 01:25:43.840 --> 01:25:50.039 treated like one. You live in a constant emotional swing due to your feminine 1012 01:25:50.079 --> 01:25:55.560 sexual essence. As a woman, you behave like a roller coaster. Your 1013 01:25:55.600 --> 01:25:59.960 mood fluctuates from top to bottom and from bottom to top, going through an 1014 01:26:00.119 --> 01:26:04.760 undulating movement. When you' re up on the mountain, you enjoy a 1015 01:26:04.760 --> 01:26:09.640 healthy self- esteem. When you feel loved, you feel that you have 1016 01:26:09.760 --> 01:26:12.840 a lot of love to give you. It is easy to appreciate and enjoy 1017 01:26:12.880 --> 01:26:18.680 what you have irradiated positivity and optimism and you tend to see the glass half 1018 01:26:18.680 --> 01:26:23.800 full. Instead, when you' re down something that happens sooner or later, 1019 01:26:24.199 --> 01:26:29.319 you feel as if you' re going down to a dark well suddenly 1020 01:26:29.720 --> 01:26:32.800 you stop feeling loved what diminishes your ability to love others and when you float 1021 01:26:32.920 --> 01:26:36.760 deep, repressed and unconscious, you tend to complain about what you lack about 1022 01:26:36.840 --> 01:26:42.359 what isn' t giving you your perception of yourself and life changes, you 1023 01:26:42.399 --> 01:26:46.119 become more negative and pessimistic and you tend to see the glass half empty. 1024 01:26:48.479 --> 01:26:55.640 That' s when you feel the urge to talk about your problems, to 1025 01:26:55.720 --> 01:26:59.560 express how you feel, to feel listened to and as n n o s 1026 01:26:59.560 --> 01:27:02.239 r. S S so and supported. When you' re in the well, 1027 01:27:02.640 --> 01:27:06.760 the least you expect from your partner is to listen to you and the 1028 01:27:06.800 --> 01:27:09.960 least you need is to tell you how you have to feel or not. 1029 01:27:11.359 --> 01:27:17.600 You just want me to come with you as you descend by accepting your outbursts 1030 01:27:17.640 --> 01:27:20.920 of sadness, insecurity and bad mood. Only in this way can you get 1031 01:27:20.960 --> 01:27:26.600 to the bottom of the matter. Going back up to the surface. In 1032 01:27:26.640 --> 01:27:30.479 the case of not feeling safe or accompanied, you can fall into addictions that 1033 01:27:30.600 --> 01:27:33.359 provide the relief that your partner does not know how to give you. It 1034 01:27:33.399 --> 01:27:39.319 is not a question of judging this emotional swing, let alone of suffering it 1035 01:27:39.399 --> 01:27:43.960 or of seeking guilty ones. More than anything, because it is a natural, 1036 01:27:44.399 --> 01:27:47.640 cyclical and, above all, necessary process. It' s the way 1037 01:27:47.640 --> 01:27:53.560 that, as a woman you function and renew you complain that your partner doesn 1038 01:27:53.600 --> 01:27:57.720 ' t listen to you doesn' t fail as a sexual, feminine essence. 1039 01:27:57.960 --> 01:28:00.840 You consider that one of the worst flaws of putting your partner male sexual 1040 01:28:01.000 --> 01:28:03.800 essence is that he doesn' t listen to you. Let' s put, 1041 01:28:03.840 --> 01:28:08.960 for example, when you get home after a shitty day just see it. 1042 01:28:09.000 --> 01:28:15.079 Your partner feels the need to share your feelings. Among other things, 1043 01:28:15.439 --> 01:28:19.119 you tell him that lately you are not comfortable with your work, especially because 1044 01:28:19.159 --> 01:28:24.760 of the complicated relationship you have with your boss. Sometimes he behaves like a 1045 01:28:24.880 --> 01:28:29.720 top- notch prick. No further. You' ve had a good fight 1046 01:28:29.760 --> 01:28:33.720 today right away. Your partner insists that you have to quit your current job 1047 01:28:33.800 --> 01:28:39.159 and take it on your own. You tell him it' s not the 1048 01:28:39.279 --> 01:28:43.520 best time you know he' s a good guy. Even though I' 1049 01:28:43.600 --> 01:28:46.800 m not an easy person. Looks like he' s having a bad time. 1050 01:28:47.800 --> 01:28:50.960 Then your partner tells you not to listen to him and try not to 1051 01:28:51.000 --> 01:28:58.520 take it personally. It bothers with the comment you claim you try it every 1052 01:28:58.520 --> 01:29:01.479 day, but sometimes you can' t stop these things from affecting you. 1053 01:29:01.520 --> 01:29:05.520 Seeing that the conversation isn' t going anywhere, you start explaining that your 1054 01:29:05.600 --> 01:29:12.279 mother is in bed recovering from an intestinal flu. The poor woman still has 1055 01:29:12.359 --> 01:29:16.800 a fever and medium diarrhea. Second after, your partner tells you it' 1056 01:29:16.880 --> 01:29:20.920 ll be fine for sure. However, you raise your voice. Yeah, 1057 01:29:23.319 --> 01:29:28.800 you claim your mother needs you. Your partner abruptly interrupts you and concludes that 1058 01:29:28.840 --> 01:29:31.560 the problem is that you worry too much. That' s why you' 1059 01:29:31.600 --> 01:29:38.479 re so tense and tired. Finally, you explode and stare into his eyes. 1060 01:29:38.600 --> 01:29:41.359 You tell him that what really causes you tension is that he won' 1061 01:29:41.399 --> 01:29:46.119 t listen to you and to top it off your partner has the arrests of 1062 01:29:46.159 --> 01:29:49.960 shrugging and answering that he' s listening to you. You have a lot 1063 01:29:50.039 --> 01:29:56.600 to learn about freedom. The feminine has a dark side. If this is 1064 01:29:56.680 --> 01:30:00.319 your sexual essence. It' s probably hard for you to respect your partner 1065 01:30:00.319 --> 01:30:03.159 ' s release. You don' t know very well why, but you 1066 01:30:03.199 --> 01:30:08.359 feel bad when you decide to retire away from yourself. You don' t 1067 01:30:08.399 --> 01:30:12.119 understand why he' s walking away. Suddenly if it was for you you 1068 01:30:12.199 --> 01:30:16.119 would spend more time together, you only distance yourself from him when he disappoints 1069 01:30:16.159 --> 01:30:20.239 you or fears he will hurt you again. However, the male sexual essence 1070 01:30:20.279 --> 01:30:28.319 works differently. She loves to be with you, but occasionally not every day 1071 01:30:28.359 --> 01:30:35.760 most men alternate between moments of intimacy and spaces of autonomy. It' s 1072 01:30:35.840 --> 01:30:40.520 a biological necessity, just as they don' t choose to have a penis. 1073 01:30:40.840 --> 01:30:45.279 Nor do they choose to feel the longing for freedom. They need to 1074 01:30:45.399 --> 01:30:49.760 spend time alone and be calm without being responsible for anyone else. That' 1075 01:30:49.800 --> 01:30:55.439 s when they try to solve their problems. They don' t need your 1076 01:30:55.439 --> 01:31:00.239 advice. They also take advantage of sports, seeing friends, or simply avoiding 1077 01:31:01.199 --> 01:31:03.960 your partner' s distance. It' s no sign that I don' 1078 01:31:05.039 --> 01:31:08.880 t love you, don' t be so self- centered. It has 1079 01:31:08.960 --> 01:31:13.039 nothing to do with you. It has to do with his male nature. 1080 01:31:14.039 --> 01:31:16.239 If any of you complain about the creator, but do not judge what is 1081 01:31:16.239 --> 01:31:21.279 created. If you spend too much time together, you are likely to be 1082 01:31:21.319 --> 01:31:26.760 irritated and grumpy and lose the desire to be with you. Sometimes it can 1083 01:31:26.840 --> 01:31:31.079 provoke a discussion only to justify their removal. Don' t become one of 1084 01:31:31.159 --> 01:31:35.880 those people who chases his partner when he walks away, or worse than punishing 1085 01:31:36.000 --> 01:31:43.600 him for walking away. That' s called manipulation. Assume your partner has 1086 01:31:43.720 --> 01:31:47.520 another shelter that' s not you. Don' t try to make him 1087 01:31:47.600 --> 01:31:56.520 feel guilty about not covering your emotional needs and make sure he can miss you 1088 01:31:56.600 --> 01:32:00.520 if he doesn' t end up loving yourself more to free your partner. 1089 01:32:00.880 --> 01:32:04.039 As much as you deny it. Your partner is the center of your life 1090 01:32:05.000 --> 01:32:09.560 and this is not a good thing or a bad thing. It' s 1091 01:32:09.640 --> 01:32:14.880 simply a fruit of your feminine nature. However, turning your partner into your 1092 01:32:14.880 --> 01:32:20.439 main source of love, support and complicity is bullshit. No one should carry 1093 01:32:20.520 --> 01:32:26.960 that burden. The main source must be you. Think about how you' 1094 01:32:27.000 --> 01:32:30.880 re going to respect your partner' s freedom if you think you depend on 1095 01:32:30.880 --> 01:32:33.399 her to be happy. It' s time for you to commit to solving 1096 01:32:33.439 --> 01:32:38.800 your own emotional conflicts for yourself, instead of looking for them to love you. 1097 01:32:39.159 --> 01:32:45.439 Love to free yourself from the need to feel dearly healed at once your 1098 01:32:45.520 --> 01:32:49.319 birth wound, that is your journey learn to love you like no one else. 1099 01:32:49.439 --> 01:32:53.880 He' s never loved you or ever will love you. Only then 1100 01:32:53.960 --> 01:32:58.479 can he get out of that invisible prison called emotional dependence. Every day with 1101 01:32:58.560 --> 01:33:03.399 more prisoners you need to feel loved because you don' t love yourself. 1102 01:33:03.680 --> 01:33:08.039 If you love yourself, love will flow from you to your partner in the 1103 01:33:08.079 --> 01:33:12.439 form of trust and freedom. By understanding and respecting the cycle of intimacy and 1104 01:33:12.479 --> 01:33:16.520 autonomy, your partner will stop escaping from you. Most men are much more 1105 01:33:16.560 --> 01:33:24.960 willing to say yes when they are free to say no. The paradox is 1106 01:33:25.000 --> 01:33:28.800 that the further you get away from your partner, the closer he gets to 1107 01:33:28.800 --> 01:33:34.920 you. Your relationship will reach higher levels of satisfaction. If you respect and 1108 01:33:34.960 --> 01:33:42.840 promote your independence, let your partner be with you when he truly desires my 1109 01:33:42.840 --> 01:33:47.439 mother. When that happens, then he will come back voluntarily more often and 1110 01:33:47.520 --> 01:33:53.359 more eagerly to love you. His desire for close intimacy with you is proportional 1111 01:33:53.439 --> 01:34:00.439 to respect for his freedom. The paradox is that by becoming emotionally detached from 1112 01:34:00.479 --> 01:34:05.159 your partner, you begin to feel much more united and connected to him nine. 1113 01:34:05.399 --> 01:34:12.520 Men have penises. What moves men to be as they are. As 1114 01:34:12.600 --> 01:34:15.800 a man. Your greatest desire is to feel free. Let us continue for 1115 01:34:16.159 --> 01:34:20.159 the man or, rather, for the male sexual essence, the biological brain, 1116 01:34:20.399 --> 01:34:26.439 which governs his most primary impulses. If this energy polarity predominates. In 1117 01:34:26.520 --> 01:34:30.840 You, your most sacred value is freedom. Although every man is unique as 1118 01:34:30.880 --> 01:34:34.720 a male member, your main motivation is to discover your mission in life. 1119 01:34:36.039 --> 01:34:42.039 This is how you can realize your purpose and feel useful. Efficiency, power 1120 01:34:42.119 --> 01:34:46.520 and ogre are very important to IT. It' s no coincidence that you 1121 01:34:46.520 --> 01:34:53.199 ' re focused on fixing problems and finding solutions. To feel good about yourself, 1122 01:34:53.399 --> 01:34:58.439 you have to achieve goals and goals. For you you only need to 1123 01:34:58.439 --> 01:35:02.479 face challenges and challenges to prove your efficiency, show your competence and manifest your 1124 01:35:02.479 --> 01:35:06.439 worth. That' s right, as you say loud and clear you can 1125 01:35:06.479 --> 01:35:10.600 be trusted. This is why you don' t like being corrected or being 1126 01:35:10.600 --> 01:35:18.079 told how to do things. In fact, you tend to keep your problems 1127 01:35:18.159 --> 01:35:25.000 to yourself asking for help is a sign of weakness and disability. You only 1128 01:35:25.079 --> 01:35:29.880 share them when you need another point of view. That' s when you 1129 01:35:29.920 --> 01:35:33.560 ' re looking for someone of confidence who deserves consideration for another man. This 1130 01:35:33.640 --> 01:35:39.479 imitation of the Council is an honor in the zeal of your relationship. You 1131 01:35:39.600 --> 01:35:45.560 provide vigor, security, strength, initiative and leadership and your yan energy leads 1132 01:35:45.600 --> 01:35:48.520 you to be more active and therefore exercise a leadership role as a male sexual 1133 01:35:49.520 --> 01:35:58.000 essence. Your primary need is to feel free and to be able to satisfy 1134 01:35:58.039 --> 01:36:00.840 it your partner has to respect your independence and to trust you to value and 1135 01:36:00.920 --> 01:36:05.000 accept yourself just as you are to leave spaces to be alone and, ultimately, 1136 01:36:05.159 --> 01:36:12.039 to give you what you need a lot of freedom. You need to 1137 01:36:12.119 --> 01:36:15.079 go to your cave so you can stay calm. Because of your male sexual 1138 01:36:15.119 --> 01:36:19.159 essence. As a man, you act like a slingshot. You have the 1139 01:36:19.239 --> 01:36:24.479 imperative need to stretch to the fullest to one side to go to the other 1140 01:36:24.600 --> 01:36:28.840 with more strength and momentum. You can' t stand still or stand in 1141 01:36:28.880 --> 01:36:33.359 the same place for too long. You need to look for and find something 1142 01:36:33.439 --> 01:36:38.199 to launch in order to achieve a result that gives meaning to your life and 1143 01:36:38.359 --> 01:36:43.000 strengthen your sense of worth. And after the effort, you also need a 1144 01:36:43.079 --> 01:36:47.319 quiet place where you can be at peace, without demands or responsibilities of any 1145 01:36:47.319 --> 01:36:51.960 kind. That' s why you tend to stay away from your partner, 1146 01:36:53.319 --> 01:36:57.800 stretching to a certain extent, especially in times of stress and stress. Even 1147 01:36:57.840 --> 01:37:01.199 when you love your wife, you need ale jar on a regular basis to 1148 01:37:01.239 --> 01:37:04.600 be able to connect with you and her. Really, that' s when 1149 01:37:04.720 --> 01:37:09.600 you retire to your cave, that is, an outer place, the one 1150 01:37:09.680 --> 01:37:15.199 where you can be alone with your inside. Being there, you are dedicated 1151 01:37:15.239 --> 01:37:21.359 to relaxing and resting and reflecting on your problems calmly. This is how you 1152 01:37:21.399 --> 01:37:27.119 load the batteries to come back with much more desire to see your partner and 1153 01:37:27.239 --> 01:37:33.800 with much more love than to give him share your worries you see it as 1154 01:37:33.920 --> 01:37:38.199 a burden as well as a useless action. It' s a vent that 1155 01:37:38.279 --> 01:37:42.000 doesn' t work to fix them. In fact, in many cases it 1156 01:37:42.119 --> 01:37:47.359 makes them bigger by allowing others to think about it. Ironically when you need 1157 01:37:47.359 --> 01:37:50.439 to be in your cave, you can' t give your wife the attention 1158 01:37:50.520 --> 01:37:55.760 she needs when you share her problems. You' re too immersed in yourself. 1159 01:37:56.680 --> 01:37:59.960 When you' re not well, it helps you get your balance back, 1160 01:38:00.319 --> 01:38:02.279 you' re just yours until you fix the problem. Quite the opposite 1161 01:38:02.319 --> 01:38:08.199 of your wife, who seeks closeness and communication. That' s why the 1162 01:38:08.319 --> 01:38:12.960 io is guaranteed You complain that your wife won' t leave you alone. 1163 01:38:13.079 --> 01:38:16.920 It' s scientifically proven to be male sexual essence, what you like least 1164 01:38:16.960 --> 01:38:21.079 about being a couple is the loss of independence. Sometimes, not to say 1165 01:38:21.159 --> 01:38:26.000 in many you feel that your partner is a bit heavy, not to say 1166 01:38:26.079 --> 01:38:30.520 a pussy. As a man, I' m sure you' ve ended 1167 01:38:30.560 --> 01:38:33.920 up your wife' s eggs sometimes. I mean, when you feel stuck, 1168 01:38:34.399 --> 01:38:40.600 controlled and drowned by their demands, commitments and demands. In addition, 1169 01:38:41.159 --> 01:38:45.880 it bothers you to have to fight for your legitimate spaces of solitude and freedom 1170 01:38:46.000 --> 01:38:49.840 and you are tired of receiving advice that you have not asked for. Let 1171 01:38:49.840 --> 01:38:53.560 us say, for example, that you are driving together. You drive to 1172 01:38:53.600 --> 01:38:58.279 the hotel where you' ll spend a romantic weekend. After several laps and 1173 01:38:58.359 --> 01:39:01.039 not finding the right way out, your wife assumes you' re lost. 1174 01:39:02.439 --> 01:39:06.960 That' s when he suggests you ask one of the walkers for help. 1175 01:39:08.079 --> 01:39:13.000 By remaining silent, within a few seconds, he proposes it again. You 1176 01:39:13.079 --> 01:39:16.960 tell her that she doesn' t need to, but she insists that it 1177 01:39:16.960 --> 01:39:23.479 doesn' t cost anything, that surely someone can tell you how to get 1178 01:39:23.479 --> 01:39:26.359 her attitude starts to irritate you. However, you don' t tell him 1179 01:39:26.439 --> 01:39:30.119 anything and you keep driving until after a while you finally get to the hotel. 1180 01:39:30.479 --> 01:39:34.159 Already in the room, your partner scolds you that you' re a 1181 01:39:35.159 --> 01:39:38.079 little bit on edge at the time. You tell her that she' s 1182 01:39:38.119 --> 01:39:42.840 upset you, that she insisted on asking for guidance when it wasn' t 1183 01:39:42.920 --> 01:39:45.279 necessary, and she' s responding offended that she' s done it to 1184 01:39:45.279 --> 01:39:51.119 help. However, you' ve heard something else. What doesn' t 1185 01:39:51.199 --> 01:39:57.760 trust your ability to solve problems on your own by giving you some advice or 1186 01:39:59.159 --> 01:40:02.399 suggesting to yourself what to ask someone else how to fix a situation is as 1187 01:40:02.439 --> 01:40:06.000 if you' ll call yourself useless and think you' re incompetent. You 1188 01:40:06.039 --> 01:40:11.920 have a lot to learn about love. The masculine has a dark side. 1189 01:40:12.960 --> 01:40:15.560 If this is your fucking sexual essence of denying that you' re going to 1190 01:40:15.640 --> 01:40:20.199 have too little time with your wife when it was the last time you dedicated 1191 01:40:20.279 --> 01:40:23.680 her a real romantic detail that you didn' t do out of obligation. 1192 01:40:24.720 --> 01:40:28.760 You don' t know exactly why, but for this kind of thing you 1193 01:40:28.800 --> 01:40:31.319 don' t have so much initiative, passion or creativity. You get other 1194 01:40:31.439 --> 01:40:36.359 challenges. Your nature leads you to think first of what you need, what 1195 01:40:36.439 --> 01:40:42.319 you are interested in blinded by your own motivation, you don' t see 1196 01:40:42.720 --> 01:40:46.800 the needs of your partner that if they have to do with you do not 1197 01:40:46.800 --> 01:40:53.199 emano. The female sexual essence works differently. It is true that you share 1198 01:40:53.279 --> 01:40:57.479 your life with your parents, brothers and friends while playing a professional role. 1199 01:40:58.119 --> 01:41:01.880 However, or most women want to have their partner close so they can count 1200 01:41:02.119 --> 01:41:09.000 on her when they are worried or have a problem. Just like they don 1201 01:41:09.039 --> 01:41:14.600 ' t choose. Having a vagina doesn' t choose to feel the yearning 1202 01:41:14.600 --> 01:41:19.800 for love either. They need to love and be loved. It' s 1203 01:41:19.920 --> 01:41:25.079 a biological necessity. They are like a flower that requires that they water it 1204 01:41:26.039 --> 01:41:29.800 often to bloom. They also need a lot of light and pampering. Your 1205 01:41:29.880 --> 01:41:34.039 loving presence is your food that your partner wants to spend more time with you 1206 01:41:34.079 --> 01:41:39.279 or make a suggestion about how to do certain things doesn' t mean it 1207 01:41:39.279 --> 01:41:43.600 ' s a heavy one. Don' t be angry. Its feminine nature 1208 01:41:43.760 --> 01:41:47.800 is so if you don' t give it quality time leaving aside the achievement 1209 01:41:47.880 --> 01:41:53.359 of your goals. In time, your wife will wither the lack of love, 1210 01:41:53.640 --> 01:42:00.840 make her miserable. Says the saying happy woman happy life. Your wife 1211 01:42:00.960 --> 01:42:05.760 is not complicated. It' s actually tremendously easy. All their emotional problems 1212 01:42:05.800 --> 01:42:13.439 and conflicts have the same root. Not feeling loved by you loves your partner 1213 01:42:13.479 --> 01:42:17.840 to free you from yourself. If you could ask the wise men something, 1214 01:42:17.880 --> 01:42:24.000 it would be the absolute freedom of movement, that is, the possibility to 1215 01:42:24.079 --> 01:42:28.800 enter and leave the house whenever you wanted, without having to explain to your 1216 01:42:28.800 --> 01:42:32.399 partner. It is an impulse of your masculine nature, however, that your 1217 01:42:32.800 --> 01:42:38.920 unviduality be respected. It doesn' t exempt you from taking care of your 1218 01:42:39.000 --> 01:42:43.800 wife from surprising her in some detail every week. How hard it is for 1219 01:42:43.880 --> 01:42:47.800 you to think more about her Tell her nice things and do actions that tear 1220 01:42:47.800 --> 01:42:51.439 a smile out of her. Be complicit in your well- being. It 1221 01:42:51.479 --> 01:42:56.840 ' s the best way to invest in your own happiness. It doesn' 1222 01:42:56.920 --> 01:43:00.680 t have to be a material gift. Sometimes it can be done with a 1223 01:43:00.760 --> 01:43:04.359 simple gesture that makes her, namely that you love her. Put a damn 1224 01:43:04.439 --> 01:43:11.439 pink spot in the bathroom mirror that says good morning, Princess. I hope 1225 01:43:11.560 --> 01:43:15.720 you have a wonderful day. I want you to have this detail with her. 1226 01:43:15.840 --> 01:43:20.600 You' ll take five minutes. However, you' ll make her 1227 01:43:20.760 --> 01:43:25.640 happy for a whole week. Please don' t be one of those who 1228 01:43:25.760 --> 01:43:30.359 takes his partner for granted. Don' t be such a pain in the 1229 01:43:30.479 --> 01:43:32.600 ass the moment you hit me. As much as you do, you' 1230 01:43:32.640 --> 01:43:38.439 re starting to lose her. Really start honoring your only marital responsibility to love 1231 01:43:38.720 --> 01:43:44.000 your wife with all your heart. Instead of seeking freedom free yourself from your 1232 01:43:44.079 --> 01:43:49.279 selfish desires and aspirations, focus more on the needs of your partner, prioritizing 1233 01:43:49.319 --> 01:43:57.079 them above your own to see if you are able, you need to feel 1234 01:43:57.079 --> 01:44:00.119 free, because you are a slave to the ego. Look more at your 1235 01:44:00.159 --> 01:44:05.119 wife, devote yourself to encouraging her to favor, make herself happy, and 1236 01:44:05.159 --> 01:44:10.960 the freedom you long for will come in addition. It is not a question 1237 01:44:11.000 --> 01:44:15.159 of how much time you spend together, but of the quality of your bond. 1238 01:44:15.119 --> 01:44:20.960 The more loved your partner feels, the more will respect your independence x 1239 01:44:21.039 --> 01:44:27.720 unconscious sex, the uncomfortable truth about what really happens in bed dare to speak 1240 01:44:29.039 --> 01:44:33.239 bluntly about your sex life. Women have vagina and men have penis, even 1241 01:44:34.159 --> 01:44:38.279 if it gives you a certain modesty to talk about them. It is undeniable 1242 01:44:38.319 --> 01:44:42.800 that human beings have been born with genitals and, moreover, that sex has 1243 01:44:42.840 --> 01:44:47.359 been condemned throughout history. You are here because of your need and ability to 1244 01:44:47.359 --> 01:44:51.439 practice it. There' s nothing wrong with it. It is as pure 1245 01:44:51.520 --> 01:44:57.399 and natural as eating, sleeping, or breathing. While your body has never 1246 01:44:57.439 --> 01:45:01.039 made any moral judgment about sex, your mind is still contaminated by false beliefs 1247 01:45:01.119 --> 01:45:08.640 that limit your way of fully enjoying sexuality. Many feelings of shame and guilt 1248 01:45:08.720 --> 01:45:15.319 remain latent in society' s collective unconsciousness. Paradoxically, everything that is repressed 1249 01:45:15.359 --> 01:45:20.279 ends up coming out with more strength and intensity. Hence you are continually bombarded 1250 01:45:20.279 --> 01:45:28.520 with sexual, explicit or underlying messages. It' s no wonder the thoughts 1251 01:45:28.560 --> 01:45:32.800 related to the pull- out have settled as you occupy your head. Proof 1252 01:45:32.840 --> 01:45:36.760 of this is that the word sex is by far the most written in the 1253 01:45:36.840 --> 01:45:42.159 Google search engine. However, in this case, the amount of stimuli you 1254 01:45:42.199 --> 01:45:46.399 receive is inversely proportional to the quality with which you practice it. While the 1255 01:45:46.439 --> 01:45:51.479 biological purpose of sex is reproduction, it also has another much more psychological and 1256 01:45:51.560 --> 01:45:58.439 spiritual function. So it is known that you practice good sex with your partner 1257 01:45:58.439 --> 01:46:00.319 when you verify that it helps you to intimate and with ne go with her, 1258 01:46:00.840 --> 01:46:04.880 as well as to replenish your vital energy. You also notice that it 1259 01:46:04.880 --> 01:46:10.720 helps to cultivate and preserve your physical and mental health, in turn regulating your 1260 01:46:10.800 --> 01:46:15.640 emotional mood. Don' t wait one more day hold your partner by the 1261 01:46:15.640 --> 01:46:18.680 hand, open your heart and express yourself with certainty. As you feel about 1262 01:46:18.760 --> 01:46:27.960 your sex life, you practice mechanically monotonous and unconscious sex by engaging with a 1263 01:46:28.000 --> 01:46:31.720 single sexual partner and having sex with him for some time. I' m 1264 01:46:31.760 --> 01:46:38.760 sure more than once you' ve wondered that' s all the sex ends 1265 01:46:38.800 --> 01:46:42.039 here because of your lack of sex education. As an adult, you continue 1266 01:46:42.079 --> 01:46:46.279 to be guided by the mechanical habits learned during your puberty. So you usually 1267 01:46:46.359 --> 01:46:53.319 get into bed following a series of monotonous routines lacking imagination and creativity. In 1268 01:46:53.399 --> 01:46:57.199 time, therefore, the attraction and desire towards your companion often disappears, even 1269 01:46:57.199 --> 01:47:02.439 falling into disinterest, that of the rda, in monotony and boredom. Hence, 1270 01:47:02.720 --> 01:47:06.960 many stop practicing it, demonize monogamy as a couple' s philosophy, 1271 01:47:08.199 --> 01:47:12.880 and choose to change lovership even if this behavior is the usual one. It 1272 01:47:12.960 --> 01:47:17.359 only seems when you practice sex mechanically and unconsciously and are trapped by your biology, 1273 01:47:17.960 --> 01:47:25.640 whose only purpose is to guarantee the reproduction of the species. Right now, 1274 01:47:25.680 --> 01:47:31.439 sex is conditioned, especially by male limitations. Most men act moved by 1275 01:47:31.439 --> 01:47:35.840 the same pattern of sexual behavior, marked by the accumulation of citation and the 1276 01:47:35.960 --> 01:47:43.199 release of this tension through orgasm. However, their obsession with climaxing is precisely 1277 01:47:43.279 --> 01:47:48.319 what prevents them from enjoying their full sexual potential. The animal in them becomes 1278 01:47:48.319 --> 01:47:53.159 an obstacle to love being also present in bed, thwarting any female attempt to 1279 01:47:53.159 --> 01:48:00.920 lengthen such sexual encounters. To achieve or greater depth and satisfaction, they have 1280 01:48:01.159 --> 01:48:06.840 no choice but to transcend their most primary impulses. And to achieve this, 1281 01:48:08.039 --> 01:48:13.520 there are no better teachers than women, without a doubt, are the real 1282 01:48:13.600 --> 01:48:20.000 experts in sexuality. Conscious your sex is tyrannized by cohitocracy. Ninety- nine 1283 01:48:20.039 --> 01:48:26.399 comma nine percent of your sexual activity doesn' t end reproduction. However, 1284 01:48:26.760 --> 01:48:31.119 your encounters are governed by cohitocracy. That is, for the urge that the 1285 01:48:31.159 --> 01:48:35.640 penis get erect right away so that it can penetrate the vagina. So much 1286 01:48:35.680 --> 01:48:40.239 so that in general, you consider that making love is synonymous with performing intercourse. 1287 01:48:41.640 --> 01:48:45.600 Since male sexual essence exercises greater leadership in the dormitory, women are left 1288 01:48:45.800 --> 01:48:50.760 at the mercy of this masculinization of sexuality. Remember that the average man masturbates 1289 01:48:50.800 --> 01:48:55.439 since he begins to have use of reason between the nine and twelve years, 1290 01:48:56.000 --> 01:49:00.159 and there are so many straws that have been made during adolescence, that this 1291 01:49:00.239 --> 01:49:05.039 mechanical practice ends conditioning his body and nervous system to the same sequence genital stimulation, 1292 01:49:05.880 --> 01:49:13.199 mental fantasy, accumulation of tension and ejaculation and when starting his sexual walk 1293 01:49:13.239 --> 01:49:16.760 with women, he keeps repeating that pattern for that reason, the goal of 1294 01:49:16.840 --> 01:49:21.640 sex is to achieve orgasm, in this case, the desire to reach the 1295 01:49:21.720 --> 01:49:27.880 goal diminishes more than ever the ability to enjoy the road. Also, by 1296 01:49:27.960 --> 01:49:30.960 putting on the penis almost all the protagonism, many men are afraid not to 1297 01:49:31.079 --> 01:49:36.000 give the size. This autoboicote is the main cause of them suffering from impotence 1298 01:49:36.159 --> 01:49:42.039 or premature ejaculation two dysfunctions originating in the mind not in the body and limiting 1299 01:49:42.159 --> 01:49:46.960 the sexual life of millions of couples around the world. Any result of dissatisfaction 1300 01:49:47.000 --> 01:49:55.840 in bed shows that you' re misbehaving. To start reversing the situation, 1301 01:49:56.319 --> 01:50:02.560 start by asking yourself how you feel after concluding the act are sexual more full 1302 01:50:01.119 --> 01:50:10.279 or empty, happier or sadder, more vital or more tired. Don' 1303 01:50:10.359 --> 01:50:16.359 t settle. Sex can be something much more pleasurable than pleasure. As a 1304 01:50:16.720 --> 01:50:21.600 man you have come into this world to lay seeds. Nature is very wise. 1305 01:50:24.000 --> 01:50:29.319 Each sexual essence has its own biological function. The male one, for 1306 01:50:29.319 --> 01:50:33.960 example, is responsible for putting seeds in the form of spermatozoa. The men 1307 01:50:34.039 --> 01:50:40.720 are here to sow that' s why they have testicles. They only participate 1308 01:50:40.720 --> 01:50:45.760 in the process of fertilization. If this is your energy polarity, surely at 1309 01:50:45.800 --> 01:50:47.720 some point in your life, or perhaps throughout it, you have felt the 1310 01:50:47.800 --> 01:50:54.720 imperative need to sleep with many different women. In fact, when a man 1311 01:50:54.800 --> 01:50:58.319 looks at a woman, the first thought that comes to mind is I' 1312 01:50:58.359 --> 01:51:04.720 d sleep with her. It is an automatic and unconscious reflex, totally primary. 1313 01:51:04.880 --> 01:51:09.800 Sexual tension is always there. That' s right, hidden and repressed. 1314 01:51:10.800 --> 01:51:15.640 Guided by testosterone to male sex hormone, man inevitably adopts the role of 1315 01:51:15.840 --> 01:51:20.000 hunter. It is no accident that it is assumed that it is precisely the 1316 01:51:20.119 --> 01:51:25.840 person who has the initiative to approach a woman. This hormone is responsible for 1317 01:51:25.880 --> 01:51:30.199 men being hairier, bigger, more aggressive and stronger than women and always willing 1318 01:51:30.239 --> 01:51:39.479 to have sex at any time, anywhere, at any time for any reason. 1319 01:51:45.560 --> 01:51:49.560 Any man with a male sexual essence will want sexual variety. Even if 1320 01:51:49.600 --> 01:51:55.159 you love your partner and are fully committed to her, you will naturally want 1321 01:51:55.239 --> 01:51:59.199 to have sexual encounters with other women, in addition to your intimate partner. 1322 01:52:00.199 --> 01:52:04.279 Wishing another woman does not reflect a lack in her relationship. It reflects their 1323 01:52:04.359 --> 01:52:09.920 male nature. While your penis is on all day, your heart is off 1324 01:52:10.000 --> 01:52:15.279 asleep. That' s why you can have sex without love. In that 1325 01:52:15.319 --> 01:52:20.479 sense he still has a lot to learn. As a woman, your heart 1326 01:52:20.560 --> 01:52:27.760 and vagina are connected. The female is a very different bug from the male. 1327 01:52:27.920 --> 01:52:31.239 The female sexual essence has the biological function of receiving, caring for and 1328 01:52:31.239 --> 01:52:34.800 nourishing the seed that man has put in it. This is why she has 1329 01:52:34.880 --> 01:52:40.760 uterus and breast eggs and why her attitude to sex is usually more passive. 1330 01:52:43.560 --> 01:52:46.439 The leading role of women is in the process of reproduction, which is seasonal 1331 01:52:46.520 --> 01:52:53.279 and lactating, which occupies them for several years, even though the vibron has 1332 01:52:53.279 --> 01:52:55.960 been invented. It is preferable for the mother to breastfeed her baby, as 1333 01:52:56.119 --> 01:53:00.319 it brings to the natural nutrients and emotional affection it needs for its optimal development. 1334 01:53:01.760 --> 01:53:06.199 That is why they are biologically more resistant to disease and have a longer 1335 01:53:06.319 --> 01:53:12.159 life expectancy. In addition, by devoting more effort and time to this process, 1336 01:53:12.880 --> 01:53:15.359 they also take more care in selecting their child' s father, as 1337 01:53:15.439 --> 01:53:20.600 well as less sexual appetite and promiscuity than men. Your goal is to match 1338 01:53:20.720 --> 01:53:25.840 up with the best available male you can find. If this is your energy 1339 01:53:25.920 --> 01:53:29.720 polarity, you' ll agree that opening your vagina first has to open your 1340 01:53:29.720 --> 01:53:33.960 heart. In fact, this one is always active. Your genitals are the 1341 01:53:34.000 --> 01:53:40.560 ones that are off You' re like an oven to make the most of 1342 01:53:40.560 --> 01:53:42.960 it. First it' s got to go on and warm up for a 1343 01:53:42.960 --> 01:53:47.600 while. Hence the sacred and supreme importance of the preliminaries. Since man goes 1344 01:53:47.640 --> 01:53:51.800 with the penis on and sexuality is masculinized by cohitocracy, when he is finished, 1345 01:53:53.439 --> 01:53:58.199 it turns out that she has not yet begun. The truth is that 1346 01:53:58.239 --> 01:54:03.640 the women with the most livid and wanting to fuck are the ones who are 1347 01:54:03.640 --> 01:54:11.439 in love. In that state, testosterone levels increase in your body. Thus, 1348 01:54:11.800 --> 01:54:15.119 any woman who has been in heat can know how the man feels every 1349 01:54:15.239 --> 01:54:21.359 day of his life. Eleven the transcendent purpose of the couple. Reasons for 1350 01:54:21.399 --> 01:54:28.680 sharing your life with someone else. If you don' t want to learn 1351 01:54:28.680 --> 01:54:31.960 or evolve better. Stay alone for as long as everyone else does. You 1352 01:54:32.079 --> 01:54:38.239 ' re not ready to be a couple, at least you don' t 1353 01:54:38.319 --> 01:54:42.840 deform satisfactorily and permanently. You have no idea. If you are a man, 1354 01:54:43.520 --> 01:54:46.439 during the state of falling in love, your testosterone levels go down and 1355 01:54:46.520 --> 01:54:50.720 increase your oxytocin levels, the so- called love hormone, and so you 1356 01:54:50.800 --> 01:54:55.920 can be more empathetic with the woman' s affective needs. The opposite happens 1357 01:54:56.039 --> 01:55:00.039 in the female brain. If you are a woman, s your testosterone levels 1358 01:55:00.279 --> 01:55:04.039 rise and for a while it seems that you both function similar to the same 1359 01:55:04.079 --> 01:55:10.520 sexual impulses and the same emotional needs. But once the crush fades, the 1360 01:55:10.560 --> 01:55:17.800 biology of one another returns to its natural state. That' s when he 1361 01:55:17.840 --> 01:55:21.600 starts reproaching her because she' s not so interested in sex anymore and she 1362 01:55:21.640 --> 01:55:26.760 ' s not paying so much attention to him anymore and she doesn' t 1363 01:55:26.800 --> 01:55:30.520 have romantic details about her. As the latent conflict emerges, it is when 1364 01:55:30.640 --> 01:55:35.039 the real couple relationship begins. Only at that very moment can true love arise. 1365 01:55:36.399 --> 01:55:41.079 Thus, the main reason for pairing is to feel the desire to learn, 1366 01:55:41.760 --> 01:55:45.279 grow, mature and evolve as a human being. If you' re 1367 01:55:45.399 --> 01:55:49.800 not committed to it, don' t mess with it, don' t 1368 01:55:50.880 --> 01:55:53.359 play with each other' s feelings, or at least make it clear. 1369 01:55:53.399 --> 01:55:57.680 From the beginning, the couple can be one of your great teachers on the 1370 01:55:57.720 --> 01:56:01.239 learning path, which is life paired, because you know that in this way 1371 01:56:01.359 --> 01:56:08.000 you will grow spiritually much more than being alone not in vain, your companion 1372 01:56:08.039 --> 01:56:12.000 makes you clear and you see clearly what you lack or. You' re 1373 01:56:12.000 --> 01:56:16.119 scared. The truth is that, if you have the right tools, being 1374 01:56:16.159 --> 01:56:21.199 a couple can be one of the greatest blessings of your existence if you don 1375 01:56:21.279 --> 01:56:25.199 ' t like the challenges or even think about pairing up. The learning process 1376 01:56:25.199 --> 01:56:30.520 of male sexual essence consists of integrating the complementary opposite of female sexual essence and 1377 01:56:30.600 --> 01:56:36.880 vice versa. This involves deeply understanding oneself and the other in order to be 1378 01:56:38.000 --> 01:56:43.199 able to empathize with their different needs and respect their different operating and renewal cycles. 1379 01:56:44.880 --> 01:56:47.520 Let us not forget that in the Taoist symbol of Gin and Yang within 1380 01:56:47.560 --> 01:56:51.840 the part of the circumference shaped like white sperm, there is a little black 1381 01:56:51.840 --> 01:56:57.800 dot, while in the opposite part, the black sperm contains a little white 1382 01:56:57.800 --> 01:57:04.079 dot. These colors represent male and female polarity respectively. All white men have 1383 01:57:04.199 --> 01:57:10.359 a black female part to develop, and all black women have themselves a white 1384 01:57:10.399 --> 01:57:15.840 male part to cultivate. Hence, the relationship of couples is the place where 1385 01:57:15.920 --> 01:57:24.199 both energies learn to complement each other, conjugating their different shades. I do 1386 01:57:24.520 --> 01:57:27.760 not embarrass the journey of the masculine and the feminine towards this unity of love 1387 01:57:27.880 --> 01:57:31.319 and freedom is antagonistic. The truth is that it takes a lot of humility, 1388 01:57:32.399 --> 01:57:38.239 flexibility, generosity and maturity to integrate this opposition and achieve a much more 1389 01:57:38.319 --> 01:57:43.640 satisfying and beneficial synthesis as a result if your partner is accelerated and you are 1390 01:57:43.640 --> 01:57:47.680 slow. There is a conflict there, but also great potential. If you 1391 01:57:47.720 --> 01:57:51.960 take advantage of the difference to grow and transform, the accelerated one can help 1392 01:57:53.000 --> 01:57:57.560 slow and reverse with which you will find greater balance and harmony. That' 1393 01:57:57.640 --> 01:58:00.680 s what a couple trip is about, selling to give what the other needs 1394 01:58:00.720 --> 01:58:05.880 and learning to receive what the other gives you. Only in this way can 1395 01:58:05.920 --> 01:58:11.880 the relationship evolve into two more conscious, complete, and wise human beings. 1396 01:58:13.319 --> 01:58:16.520 If you form a family, do it with love. I don' t 1397 01:58:16.640 --> 01:58:20.439 know if you knew, but couple and even mean getting on the same level. 1398 01:58:21.399 --> 01:58:27.720 It is a matter of achieving balance harmony and complementing a true pair works 1399 01:58:27.760 --> 01:58:30.960 in such a way that both members feel happier and more fulfilled than each one 1400 01:58:31.000 --> 01:58:36.479 going on his or her side. That is why they choose each day to 1401 01:58:36.479 --> 01:58:43.000 remain together, sharing their lives with love, yes, respecting each other' 1402 01:58:43.119 --> 01:58:46.920 s individuality. However, in most cases the result is another well known to 1403 01:58:47.039 --> 01:58:57.159 all, fighting conflict and suffering, much suffering, sometimes too much. Even 1404 01:58:58.119 --> 01:59:02.239 cohabitation generates many frictions sns clashes between egos and, by not knowing how to 1405 01:59:02.279 --> 01:59:08.319 deal emotionally. With this situation, it is impossible for there to be learning 1406 01:59:08.960 --> 01:59:13.159 or change, much less evolution. Hence, little by little the relationship ends 1407 01:59:13.159 --> 01:59:18.960 up cracking, eventually leading to rupture and separation. It is true that women 1408 01:59:19.000 --> 01:59:24.279 and men are complex and complicated beings to no longer be able to, but 1409 01:59:24.359 --> 01:59:28.239 the fact that they have problems with each other also has to do with the 1410 01:59:28.319 --> 01:59:31.640 conventional mold from which they relate and more when they decide to form a family. 1411 01:59:31.760 --> 01:59:35.920 Without a doubt, another of the great functions of being a couple. 1412 01:59:36.239 --> 01:59:41.520 If this nucleus is not harmonious, it will neither favor nor support harmony among 1413 01:59:41.600 --> 01:59:45.239 its children. Moreover, if this learning of integration and complementation does not occur, 1414 01:59:46.039 --> 01:59:49.399 the family ceases to be a source of bliss to become a blindfold of 1415 01:59:49.439 --> 01:59:56.680 unhappiness. If you choose to form a family that you know that all your 1416 01:59:56.720 --> 02:00:01.039 mental schemes are going to be confronted, you will surely see yourself disturbed for 1417 02:00:01.079 --> 02:00:06.199 a long time until you know how to adapt to your new spouse and parent 1418 02:00:06.560 --> 02:00:10.560 status and, as you know, it is a journey of milk. If 1419 02:00:10.680 --> 02:00:15.840 you have children, you will have them consciously. Forming a family and involves 1420 02:00:15.960 --> 02:00:20.479 having children. The biological reason par excellence for being a couple is to perpetuate 1421 02:00:20.520 --> 02:00:25.319 the species. However, one thing is what you think motherhood and parenthood is 1422 02:00:25.359 --> 02:00:32.359 and another infinitely different, which really involves being parents. It' s impossible 1423 02:00:32.399 --> 02:00:36.039 to know in advance how much the arrival of your first child will change your 1424 02:00:38.079 --> 02:00:42.039 life once the woman recovers from childbirth. The great challenge is to devote time 1425 02:00:42.119 --> 02:00:45.520 and energy to keeping the flame of passion on fire. The truth is that 1426 02:00:45.560 --> 02:00:49.399 the baby' s arrival brings you into a routine and inertia that often alienates 1427 02:00:49.520 --> 02:00:55.319 you from each other, creating an emotional distance as imperceptible as it is difficult 1428 02:00:55.319 --> 02:00:58.920 to stop. Hence, as much as it costs you to get rid of 1429 02:00:59.000 --> 02:01:03.359 your baby it is a foundation that grows spaces of intimacy to be alone at 1430 02:01:03.399 --> 02:01:06.840 least once a week. You can organize a romantic dinner in which, as 1431 02:01:06.920 --> 02:01:14.760 a man and a woman, you cultivate your relationship as friends, lovers and 1432 02:01:14.760 --> 02:01:17.600 traveling companions. And if the love between the parents ceases, the children end 1433 02:01:17.680 --> 02:01:24.920 up paying for it. It is no coincidence that during the first three years, 1434 02:01:25.199 --> 02:01:28.640 since the birth of the first child, more and more separations occur. 1435 02:01:29.760 --> 02:01:32.319 Children do not unite you with your partner or make you happier Rather they uncover 1436 02:01:32.359 --> 02:01:39.720 the truths hidden under the carpet of your home. Who' d say it 1437 02:01:39.800 --> 02:01:43.720 with how cute they are. In fact, there is a very cynical saying 1438 02:01:43.800 --> 02:01:46.399 that indicates the following. The first child changes your life, the second takes 1439 02:01:46.520 --> 02:01:50.359 it away from you and the third one destroys it. So be very careful. 1440 02:01:51.119 --> 02:01:56.720 Don' t go into parenting without being very well informed. A poorly 1441 02:01:56.920 --> 02:02:00.479 - run marriage to children can turn your life into hell. Then don' 1442 02:02:00.560 --> 02:02:05.960 t complain that nobody warned you. Twelve levels of consciousness in couples, evolutionary 1443 02:02:08.600 --> 02:02:14.640 stages that determine the quality of your relationship. From zero to ten. What 1444 02:02:14.680 --> 02:02:19.399 note would you put as a couple, As a human being, you live 1445 02:02:19.439 --> 02:02:26.279 on a certain level of consciousness and it measures the spiritual development that you have 1446 02:02:26.359 --> 02:02:29.279 acquired according to the learnings realized or not through the slaps that has been giving 1447 02:02:29.279 --> 02:02:32.720 you life. The more evolved you are, the greater your ability to be 1448 02:02:32.840 --> 02:02:38.560 happy For yourself and, therefore, to love your partner. On the other 1449 02:02:38.680 --> 02:02:43.119 hand, if you have little understanding and wisdom, it is normal for you 1450 02:02:43.199 --> 02:02:45.399 to attract ignorant people like you. The function of these stormy relationships is that 1451 02:02:45.479 --> 02:02:50.720 you live precisely the conflict situations you need to be able to learn and evolve. 1452 02:02:51.840 --> 02:02:57.319 Only in this way do you create the possibility of attracting and maintaining much 1453 02:02:57.439 --> 02:02:59.920 more harmonious and satisfying relationships in the future. Al al al al al n 1454 02:03:00.039 --> 02:03:02.520 final of what it is about is that you live your bonds from the essence 1455 02:03:02.680 --> 02:03:06.800 and not from the ego, to know in what evolutionary stage you find yourself. 1456 02:03:08.119 --> 02:03:12.279 Just take a look at the emotional results you' ve been reaping with 1457 02:03:12.319 --> 02:03:17.079 your partner. What has more abounded conflict or harmony, discussions or caresses, 1458 02:03:17.760 --> 02:03:25.000 missing out on suffering or happiness for more justifications than giving me The results are 1459 02:03:25.039 --> 02:03:33.319 always much more eloquent than excuses. The fact that you are wrong with your 1460 02:03:33.359 --> 02:03:38.359 partner shows that you or both are ignorant in the art of being well in 1461 02:03:38.439 --> 02:03:44.840 an intimate relationship and do not feel offended ignorance. It is not a lack 1462 02:03:44.840 --> 02:03:49.800 of intelligence, but of knowledge in this case that would allow you to know 1463 02:03:49.840 --> 02:03:55.319 how to relate peacefully and lovingly. Take a second to evaluate to what extent 1464 02:03:55.479 --> 02:04:00.960 you are a happy, focused, balanced, empathetic, ge neral and assertive 1465 02:04:00.960 --> 02:04:05.159 person, totally complicit in the happiness and well- being of your partner from 1466 02:04:05.239 --> 02:04:11.720 zero to ten who notes you become a couple. Your greatest desire is to 1467 02:04:11.840 --> 02:04:16.439 satisfy your own interest. Each couple is in a certain evolutionary stage that measures 1468 02:04:16.520 --> 02:04:20.560 how much or how little the two members of a relationship have grown and matured 1469 02:04:20.600 --> 02:04:25.960 together. The first level of consciousness is that in which the two lovers, 1470 02:04:26.359 --> 02:04:30.199 moved by their egocentric selfishness, direct their existence to satisfy only their own interest. 1471 02:04:31.640 --> 02:04:36.520 Each looks only for himself, trying to satisfy his own biological needs and 1472 02:04:36.600 --> 02:04:43.119 while each, in turn, expects the other to behave in a certain way 1473 02:04:43.199 --> 02:04:49.439 in accordance with his desires and expectations. In this type of relationships, the 1474 02:04:49.439 --> 02:04:54.960 female sexual essence often feels dissatisfied because it does not feel loved by its partner, 1475 02:04:55.560 --> 02:05:00.159 complains of the lack of love and, in parallel, the male sexual 1476 02:05:00.199 --> 02:05:04.239 essence feels suffocated by its partner, does not feel at ease because it sees 1477 02:05:04.319 --> 02:05:11.920 its independence alibi, complains of the lack of freedom and the closer it comes 1478 02:05:12.000 --> 02:05:15.479 to the feminine in search of affection, support and understanding, the more it 1479 02:05:15.840 --> 02:05:19.199 distances the masculine, devoting all its time and energy to achieving new goals and 1480 02:05:19.239 --> 02:05:26.680 objectives. It is then that the ego puts on the boots, The relationship 1481 02:05:26.720 --> 02:05:30.479 becomes a battlefield, whose weapons of mass destruction are egocentrism, reactivity, dicymism, 1482 02:05:30.800 --> 02:05:39.840 guilt, reproach hatred, rancor, and distancing. Over time, dialogue 1483 02:05:39.920 --> 02:05:45.600 becomes a cry- and- fight discussion, and when we see that these 1484 02:05:45.600 --> 02:05:49.399 emotional disagreements serve nothing but to intensify suffering, it finally leads to a lack 1485 02:05:49.439 --> 02:05:54.680 of communication, as well as the slow but progressive disappearance of his affection, 1486 02:05:56.319 --> 02:06:02.199 complicity, trust, honesty and respect. These kinds of couples are already broken. 1487 02:06:03.159 --> 02:06:06.119 Now we just need to know when and how they' re going to 1488 02:06:06.119 --> 02:06:11.359 split up. Your biggest motivation is to meet you and transform you. Every 1489 02:06:11.479 --> 02:06:16.159 couple relationship goes through periods of crisis. Despite having such a negative connotation, 1490 02:06:16.439 --> 02:06:21.520 this word shares the same etymological root as chrysalis, which alludes to metamorphosis and 1491 02:06:21.600 --> 02:06:32.960 transformation. In Chinese it means both danger and opportunity and in Greek it comes 1492 02:06:33.039 --> 02:06:38.439 from the verb crime that means to judge and decide. It has also given 1493 02:06:38.479 --> 02:06:43.279 rise to substantives such as criticism and judgement. Thus, the crisis is a 1494 02:06:43.359 --> 02:06:47.039 decisive moment within any couple relationship, an imitation to pause, reflect and wisely 1495 02:06:47.039 --> 02:06:51.399 decide on the next step that the two lovers must take in order to continue 1496 02:06:51.439 --> 02:06:57.720 evolving in love and freedom. In the event that they decide to stay together 1497 02:06:57.800 --> 02:07:00.640 and take advantage of one of these crises, the couple goes into the second 1498 02:07:00.720 --> 02:07:05.119 level of consciousness. It is then that they direct their relationship to transformation, 1499 02:07:08.039 --> 02:07:12.000 tired of so much conflict and suffering, that they decide to give themselves a 1500 02:07:12.000 --> 02:07:14.960 new opportunity. However, based on the premise that, in order to obtain 1501 02:07:14.960 --> 02:07:17.960 different results, they have no choice but to question the beliefs with which they 1502 02:07:18.000 --> 02:07:23.560 have been co- creating their current relationship through an individual process of self- 1503 02:07:24.439 --> 02:07:27.880 knowledge. Both understand at the end that the other neither makes them suffer nor 1504 02:07:28.000 --> 02:07:31.920 can make them happy and it is precisely this understanding that moves them to learn 1505 02:07:31.920 --> 02:07:38.720 to be happy for themselves, moving from self- centered selfishness to conscious selfishness, 1506 02:07:39.079 --> 02:07:43.520 that is, that allows you to resolve your internal conflicts through self- 1507 02:07:43.520 --> 02:07:47.359 knowledge. In order to feel good internally, it is important to spend some 1508 02:07:47.479 --> 02:07:51.960 time every day to give you what you need and thus preserve your emotional balance. 1509 02:07:53.880 --> 02:07:57.039 And it' s just how you can be okay with your partner if 1510 02:07:57.079 --> 02:08:00.840 you don' t know how to be comfortable with yourself. Your greatest desire 1511 02:08:00.920 --> 02:08:03.520 is to promote good to your partner to enjoy true love as a couple in 1512 02:08:03.560 --> 02:08:09.159 a satisfactory and sustainable way. You have no choice but to be tremendously honest, 1513 02:08:09.479 --> 02:08:13.760 humble, and courageous to bow down to your partner and let yourself be 1514 02:08:13.840 --> 02:08:16.840 transformed by him. I insist it is essential that we have been transformed. 1515 02:08:18.880 --> 02:08:24.199 You need to have experienced a profound paradigm shift that allows you to conceive of 1516 02:08:24.279 --> 02:08:28.159 this intimate bond from a much wiser and more mature perspective. It usually appears 1517 02:08:28.199 --> 02:08:33.359 in click form suddenly you perceive that you have everything you need to feel complete, 1518 02:08:33.840 --> 02:08:39.720 full and full for yourself. This is how you ascend to the third 1519 02:08:39.800 --> 02:08:45.319 level of consciousness, which directs your relationship to the common good, by removing 1520 02:08:45.359 --> 02:08:48.239 the veil from your eyes, you see for the first time your partner, 1521 02:08:48.439 --> 02:08:52.960 whatever your sexual essence, you learn from your complementary opposite. This is how 1522 02:08:54.000 --> 02:08:56.439 love and freedom begin to dialogue in search of a balance that benefits both. 1523 02:08:58.520 --> 02:09:03.199 In this or evolutionary stage. You know how to live with your two energy 1524 02:09:03.199 --> 02:09:09.279 polarities, which renew and feedback each other. Moved by unselfish selfishness, you 1525 02:09:09.600 --> 02:09:13.439 put your well- being, your happiness and your happiness at the service of 1526 02:09:13.479 --> 02:09:16.319 the couple' s relationship, creating a bond as invisible as it is robust. 1527 02:09:16.239 --> 02:09:20.960 Paradoxically, in seeking the good of the other, preserve if you expand 1528 02:09:20.960 --> 02:09:26.039 yours. In parallel, by questioning the mold of socially accepted relationship your partner 1529 02:09:26.079 --> 02:09:33.000 and you begin to design your own way of being in pairs, according to 1530 02:09:33.119 --> 02:09:39.880 your true needs and motivations. Finally, this journey of learning and transformation results 1531 02:09:39.960 --> 02:09:46.159 in greater enjoyment thanks to complementation. If you' ve kept reading up here, 1532 02:09:46.039 --> 02:09:50.199 be honest from what level of consciousness you' re living your relationship as 1533 02:09:50.199 --> 02:09:58.199 a couple. Part three, the conscious couple thirteen cards to be a couple, 1534 02:09:58.239 --> 02:10:05.359 essential skills for relans you have killed mom and dad. If you want 1535 02:10:05.439 --> 02:10:11.119 to be a fit person, you need to meet four fundamental requirements. You 1536 02:10:11.239 --> 02:10:16.720 don' t need to get outstanding on each of them from the pass onwards. 1537 02:10:16.840 --> 02:10:20.960 That' s enough The better your competition, the better your relationships will 1538 02:10:20.960 --> 02:10:28.399 go. The first requirement is to emancipate yourself emotionally from your parents. It 1539 02:10:28.479 --> 02:10:33.039 is time for you to cut the umbilical cord and matures at once and this 1540 02:10:33.119 --> 02:10:37.880 goes by freeing you from your psychological influence, catching an axe and metaphorically cutting 1541 02:10:37.920 --> 02:10:43.720 their heads to stop listening to their voices inside you removes the program and erases 1542 02:10:43.800 --> 02:10:48.760 the recording they inserted into you. A complete person no longer depends on the 1543 02:10:48.800 --> 02:10:52.159 approval of his parents suddenly. You don' t need to be loved anymore. 1544 02:10:54.119 --> 02:10:56.560 You don' t expect them to understand you or support you either. 1545 02:10:58.520 --> 02:11:03.159 Surely, your parents cosme tens eron millions of mistakes. Maybe they were too 1546 02:11:03.159 --> 02:11:09.600 protective, maybe they were absent to move on to what happened when they matured. 1547 02:11:09.640 --> 02:11:13.359 You understand they didn' t do it on purpose. You understand they 1548 02:11:13.439 --> 02:11:16.399 didn' t know how to do their best. It was not evil, 1549 02:11:16.039 --> 02:11:24.039 but ignorance. Besides, your parents never hurt you emotionally. The resentment you 1550 02:11:24.079 --> 02:11:26.800 feel has not so much to do with what has happened to you in life, 1551 02:11:26.039 --> 02:11:31.720 but with your subjective and distorted way of interpreting it. Behind the labels 1552 02:11:31.720 --> 02:11:35.399 Dad and Mom hide two human beings who in their day were also children and 1553 02:11:35.439 --> 02:11:41.159 as such drag their own wounds you complain about the backpack that you carry behind 1554 02:11:41.199 --> 02:11:46.800 your back, but you can' t imagine the maleton that they carry. 1555 02:11:46.479 --> 02:11:52.000 Research your genealogical tree to find out what kind of childhood yours had, the 1556 02:11:52.000 --> 02:11:56.399 most reliable indicator to know if you have emancipated yourself from truths, that you 1557 02:11:56.479 --> 02:12:01.119 feel at peace with what happened and appreciate everything you have learned. You' 1558 02:12:01.239 --> 02:12:07.720 ve solved your emotional conflicts. The second requirement to be fit in a couple 1559 02:12:07.760 --> 02:12:13.359 relationship is to resolve your emotional conflicts, and this involves maintaining an excellent relationship 1560 02:12:13.439 --> 02:12:18.319 with yourself, leading a healthy inner life, and being a conscious person in 1561 02:12:18.359 --> 02:12:22.560 this evolutionary stage. You don' t have any unfinished business or demons under 1562 02:12:22.560 --> 02:12:26.680 the carpet anymore. Your loneliness is your refuge and your temple, and in 1563 02:12:26.680 --> 02:12:31.319 the same way that medicine and good food cure the body. Now you also 1564 02:12:31.359 --> 02:12:39.159 know that silence and meditation heal the soul. A symptom of maturity is allowing 1565 02:12:39.239 --> 02:12:43.760 yourself to feel bored is nothing more than repressed pain generated by the emotional damage 1566 02:12:43.760 --> 02:12:48.199 you have done to yourself throughout your life. By embracing and accepting it, 1567 02:12:48.640 --> 02:12:54.640 you begin to transform it into serenity, joy and trust. Then you discover 1568 02:12:54.680 --> 02:12:58.159 how wonderful it is to be alone with yourself, listening and feeling what is 1569 02:12:58.239 --> 02:13:05.199 happening inside you. When you' re okay, you really don' t 1570 02:13:05.279 --> 02:13:07.359 expect anything, you' re just present. That' s how you know 1571 02:13:07.479 --> 02:13:11.399 every moment how you find yourself and what you need to preserve your well- 1572 02:13:11.399 --> 02:13:16.760 being. If you meditate, the love for You and your partner will flourish 1573 02:13:16.880 --> 02:13:22.119 naturally. Without meditation, love is unlikely to triumph. Part of the failure 1574 02:13:22.159 --> 02:13:26.479 of most marriages is that neither one of them is able to sit still, 1575 02:13:26.960 --> 02:13:33.159 sitting with himself doing anything. Hence they need to fight with the outside to 1576 02:13:33.199 --> 02:13:37.000 relieve the discomfort they feel inside. When you are alone without distractions to entertain, 1577 02:13:37.640 --> 02:13:43.119 you feel afraid and empty because it begins to disappear. The fake, 1578 02:13:43.239 --> 02:13:46.920 but don' t worry. That which may disappear is worth it that it 1579 02:13:48.000 --> 02:13:54.079 disappears is not yours, it is not you that is genuine and authentic in 1580 02:13:54.119 --> 02:14:01.079 You that remains once you break the casing and free yourself from conditioning you are 1581 02:14:01.159 --> 02:14:05.680 responsible for your own happiness. A person who does not know how to be 1582 02:14:05.720 --> 02:14:09.119 happy for himself is a social danger. He becomes someone who expects others to 1583 02:14:09.239 --> 02:14:13.279 make him happy and, since it is an impossible claim to be made, 1584 02:14:13.600 --> 02:14:20.039 he ends up paying for his unhappiness with others, starting with his own sentimental 1585 02:14:20.079 --> 02:14:24.800 companion. Hence, the third fundamental requirement when it comes to being fit to 1586 02:14:24.840 --> 02:14:28.840 be a couple is to be responsible for your own happiness. There comes a 1587 02:14:28.960 --> 02:14:31.760 day when you look into your eyes in the mirror and declare with an open 1588 02:14:31.760 --> 02:14:37.520 heart not to delegate your emotional well- being to another person again. You 1589 02:14:37.600 --> 02:14:41.159 realize that no one deserves to carry that slab, let alone someone you supposedly 1590 02:14:41.239 --> 02:14:48.479 love You' re the only one who can make you happy. This certainty 1591 02:14:48.600 --> 02:14:52.680 leads you to take care of yourself and since no one has taught you. 1592 02:14:52.319 --> 02:14:56.640 You have no choice but to learn in a self- taught way to harmonize 1593 02:14:56.640 --> 02:15:03.680 body, mind and spirit. To the extent that you feel better, with 1594 02:15:03.720 --> 02:15:07.159 yourself, you start to value, take advantage and enjoy much more than you 1595 02:15:07.279 --> 02:15:15.760 have. That is what spiritual development is all about. Also, knowing yourself 1596 02:15:15.800 --> 02:15:20.520 can live without hurting you, without disturbing you, without hurting you emotionally, 1597 02:15:20.399 --> 02:15:26.000 there is no longer the word guilt in your vocabulary. You have replaced it 1598 02:15:26.079 --> 02:15:33.079 with responsibility You have finally internalized that the only cause of your suffering is your 1599 02:15:33.079 --> 02:15:39.479 inability to accept reality and to do so you need to grow in understanding, 1600 02:15:39.479 --> 02:15:43.199 consciousness and wisdom. Only in this way can you relate without suffering or being 1601 02:15:43.279 --> 02:15:48.000 complicit in the suffering of others, and it is that you can only love 1602 02:15:48.960 --> 02:15:52.720 someone if you feel good about yourself and can only be happy if you love 1603 02:15:52.720 --> 02:15:54.960 and give yourself to others. Truly, the greater your inner well- being, 1604 02:15:56.279 --> 02:16:01.000 the greater the well- being that you will bring to your relationship, 1605 02:16:01.199 --> 02:16:05.199 you know what you want and what you can offer. The fourth requirement to 1606 02:16:05.279 --> 02:16:07.960 be fit in a couple relationship is to be very clear about what you want 1607 02:16:09.000 --> 02:16:13.279 and what you can offer. Every couple you' ve had has been an 1608 02:16:13.399 --> 02:16:18.159 unbeatable opportunity to learn about yourself and it is precisely these intimate links that awaken 1609 02:16:18.199 --> 02:16:26.159 the best and the worst in you. If you take advantage of them, 1610 02:16:26.439 --> 02:16:31.040 you can light up your darker areas, growing and maturing as a human being 1611 02:16:31.040 --> 02:16:37.360 with each relationship, you will discover yourself knowing what kind of partner can best 1612 02:16:37.440 --> 02:16:41.799 complement you in case you want to be a couple, and you may conclude 1613 02:16:41.799 --> 02:16:45.799 that you prefer to be alone or that you don' t want to commit 1614 02:16:45.799 --> 02:16:46.719 to anyone for a long time. You don' t care anymore. What 1615 02:16:46.719 --> 02:16:52.680 people around you might think now you know they' re all the same or 1616 02:16:52.760 --> 02:16:58.399 worse than you. The conventional pair mold has long been obsolete. Hence it 1617 02:16:58.440 --> 02:17:03.760 generates so much conflict and suffering and as a result in the vast majority of 1618 02:17:03.799 --> 02:17:07.680 cases, breakups, separations and divorces. The truth is that love is so 1619 02:17:07.719 --> 02:17:13.239 creative and abundant that it has infinite ways of manifesting itself. Find yours. 1620 02:17:15.639 --> 02:17:18.680 Also, being a conscious person you no longer dream of the ideal couple, 1621 02:17:20.719 --> 02:17:26.719 you simply commit to becoming the kind of person you seek your transformation scares away 1622 02:17:26.760 --> 02:17:30.840 the ghosts of the past and the fear of reviving the pain you felt with 1623 02:17:30.920 --> 02:17:35.159 your ex- partners disappears. That' s the only way you' re 1624 02:17:35.280 --> 02:17:37.000 in a position to love as if you' ve never been hurt before. 1625 02:17:37.959 --> 02:17:41.719 Whatever happens, don' t overturn the pain of previous relationships in the new 1626 02:17:41.760 --> 02:17:46.520 couple. Paradoxically, having no need to be a couple, you become a 1627 02:17:46.559 --> 02:17:54.920 golden bachelor emanates, an irresistible appeal. Fourteen in search of a travel companion, 1628 02:17:56.360 --> 02:18:03.600 you have compatibility to choose your partner. You know, you' ve 1629 02:18:03.719 --> 02:18:05.920 got chemistry and it drives you crazy in bed. Choosing your partner is certainly 1630 02:18:05.959 --> 02:18:13.000 one of the most important, yes extraordinary decisions of your life. Be careful 1631 02:18:13.079 --> 02:18:18.600 to end up marrying someone for the wrong reasons. I tell you from experience 1632 02:18:20.639 --> 02:18:26.280 to wisely choose to use the theory of the four Cs verify that the chosen 1633 02:18:26.280 --> 02:18:33.120 one passes this compatibility test with note before seriously compromising it proves that there is 1634 02:18:33.239 --> 02:18:37.520 a true affinity between you. The first concerns compatibility in the area of bed. 1635 02:18:39.760 --> 02:18:45.840 It is the most primary animal and instinctive of all, although it is 1636 02:18:45.879 --> 02:18:50.159 purely physical. It has everything to do with chemistry. For starters, the 1637 02:18:50.200 --> 02:18:54.280 one that happens in the brain when you fall in love. In fact, 1638 02:18:54.399 --> 02:18:58.760 having fallen madly in love with someone means that there is a lot of chance 1639 02:18:58.760 --> 02:19:03.440 that desire, ixcitation, sexual passion will be more abundant and sustainable over the 1640 02:19:03.479 --> 02:19:09.440 passage of time that goes well with you is already something else will depend on 1641 02:19:09.440 --> 02:19:13.239 more variables. But look if there is no such magic or chemistry among you 1642 02:19:13.280 --> 02:19:18.239 at the outset, it is much more difficult and unlikely for you to enjoy 1643 02:19:18.239 --> 02:19:22.200 in bed. Let me tell you with no hairs on your tongue a couple 1644 02:19:22.239 --> 02:19:26.799 who don' t fuck this dead woman is that you' re either a 1645 02:19:26.799 --> 02:19:28.280 woman or a man, you need good sex to feel good about yourself. 1646 02:19:31.000 --> 02:19:33.959 The quality and quantity of your sexual encounters reveals the degree of well- being 1647 02:19:35.040 --> 02:19:39.600 in your partner relationship. Making love with love is an indicator of deep connection. 1648 02:19:41.079 --> 02:19:45.639 Strengthen your bond. If you' re with someone you don' t 1649 02:19:45.680 --> 02:19:50.280 have chemistry with and doesn' t drive you crazy in bed, your relationship 1650 02:19:50.360 --> 02:19:52.760 has an expiration date no matter how hard you go sooner or later. You 1651 02:19:52.879 --> 02:19:54.719 ' re going to distance yourself even if you don' t believe it. 1652 02:19:56.120 --> 02:20:01.559 Sex is the glue that holds a couple together. You love hugging him, 1653 02:20:01.319 --> 02:20:05.799 kissing him, and feeling his foot. The latter are related to compatibility within 1654 02:20:05.879 --> 02:20:09.760 the heart. It has to do with the affection, affection and sweetness that 1655 02:20:09.840 --> 02:20:15.200 you profess to each other. In case there is this kind of affinity, 1656 02:20:15.319 --> 02:20:20.440 you love to feel the touch of your sentimental partner' s skin. It 1657 02:20:20.520 --> 02:20:24.399 is a very pleasant and pleasant feeling. That' s why you like hugging 1658 02:20:24.440 --> 02:20:28.479 him so much that he hugs you every night. You spend a little while 1659 02:20:28.479 --> 02:20:33.000 snuggle and snuggle in the form of a spoon. And while the male sexual 1660 02:20:33.079 --> 02:20:37.360 essence tends to embrace the female sexual essence, you will certainly ever exchange such 1661 02:20:37.440 --> 02:20:43.479 roles. Whatever it takes to melt you in his arms, you sit at 1662 02:20:43.479 --> 02:20:50.120 home, connect you to the present moment. You can even stay hugged in 1663 02:20:50.239 --> 02:20:54.040 silence for a long time to get lost in his neck and hair. It 1664 02:20:54.159 --> 02:20:58.399 takes you to a wonderful place where you would live forever. Besides, you 1665 02:20:58.440 --> 02:21:05.600 love how it smells, wears, perfume or not, and what to say 1666 02:21:05.719 --> 02:21:11.280 about those kisses and their tongue being able to kiss your partner is a gift 1667 02:21:11.399 --> 02:21:16.799 that life gives you daily. Another indicator to know if there is affective compatibility 1668 02:21:16.840 --> 02:21:20.040 with the person you have chosen is the space occupied by caresses in your intimate 1669 02:21:20.159 --> 02:21:26.239 bond. To caress each other with gentleness and delicacy causes to loosen tenderness and 1670 02:21:26.280 --> 02:21:31.600 increase sensitivity by reinforcing the bond of love that unites you. It' s 1671 02:21:31.639 --> 02:21:35.319 no coincidence that when you' re in one of those sometimes fleeting and passenger 1672 02:21:35.399 --> 02:21:39.000 moments when you feel like everything' s okay. Remember your partner and smile. 1673 02:21:39.760 --> 02:21:45.280 Then an immense gratitude arises from your heart for being able to share your 1674 02:21:45.399 --> 02:21:50.079 life with that person. You feel very lucky that I chose you. That 1675 02:21:50.159 --> 02:21:54.040 ' s why you come up with it so I can keep choosing to hook 1676 02:21:54.040 --> 02:21:58.360 you up every day. He' s your best friend and you' re 1677 02:21:58.399 --> 02:22:01.639 not running out of conversation. The third has to do with compatibility in the 1678 02:22:01.719 --> 02:22:05.639 realm of the head, that is, that which has to do with intellect, 1679 02:22:05.840 --> 02:22:13.239 complicity and friendship. Your partner is your best friend, he' s 1680 02:22:13.319 --> 02:22:16.440 your trusted person in the world. He' s the first one you want 1681 02:22:16.479 --> 02:22:20.559 to share your joys with and you need to express your sorrows. In parallel, 1682 02:22:20.959 --> 02:22:26.319 you also have common concerns and hobbies, so you can make plans that 1683 02:22:26.399 --> 02:22:31.520 really suit both of you. You spend it together too, you don' 1684 02:22:31.600 --> 02:22:35.600 t need other people to have fun. When you start to chat quietly, 1685 02:22:37.239 --> 02:22:41.120 you feel that the conversation is never over, that you can discuss different topics 1686 02:22:41.159 --> 02:22:46.799 whether or not you agree with it. There is complicity among you, that 1687 02:22:46.840 --> 02:22:52.000 there is no room for boredom nor for uncomfortable silences in the event of having 1688 02:22:52.040 --> 02:22:56.760 to attend some social commitment that gives you laziness or becomes a roleon. You 1689 02:22:56.840 --> 02:23:01.239 give thanks for being able to go by his hand. Let' s say, 1690 02:23:01.280 --> 02:23:03.040 for example, that you attend that cousin' s wedding that you haven 1691 02:23:03.159 --> 02:23:07.440 ' t seen in your life, you' re often a pussy, right? 1692 02:23:09.399 --> 02:23:13.319 Well, complicity with your partner allows you to team up. That' 1693 02:23:13.319 --> 02:23:16.399 s why, during the evening, occasionally, you look her in the eye 1694 02:23:16.399 --> 02:23:20.719 with discretion and she doesn' t need to tell you anything to know what 1695 02:23:20.760 --> 02:23:26.879 she' s thinking and once at home you love to comment on the play, 1696 02:23:26.000 --> 02:23:31.799 talking about what happened and how you felt. It' s a chance 1697 02:23:31.799 --> 02:23:35.479 to laugh, something you often do while you spend time together. Because of 1698 02:23:35.559 --> 02:23:41.479 this intellectual affinity, when you relate to other people, you transmit very good 1699 02:23:41.479 --> 02:23:45.440 vibes. As a couple, you are so comfortable with each other that it 1700 02:23:45.479 --> 02:23:50.479 is easy for others to feel the same way, being at your side, 1701 02:23:50.920 --> 02:23:52.399 you share values and look in the same direction. The fourth has to do 1702 02:23:52.440 --> 02:23:58.079 with compatibility in the realm of consciousness, that is, the one that has 1703 02:23:58.120 --> 02:24:01.159 to do with the spiritual dimension, with the transcendent purpose or not that you 1704 02:24:01.239 --> 02:24:05.879 give to your existence. Check that your partner believes in your dreams, supports 1705 02:24:05.879 --> 02:24:11.120 you in your aspirations and looks in the same direction as you, and that 1706 02:24:11.159 --> 02:24:16.040 life is a learning path. Hence, the right company is essential, and 1707 02:24:16.040 --> 02:24:20.120 not to reach a particular destination, but to learn and enjoy the way to 1708 02:24:20.159 --> 02:24:26.200 the fullest. In the event of affinity. You share a number of values 1709 02:24:26.319 --> 02:24:31.639 and more or less prioritize the same things as your partner. In this way 1710 02:24:31.719 --> 02:24:35.920 you build a lifestyle by consensus, respecting the needs and motivations of each one. 1711 02:24:37.239 --> 02:24:41.559 When appropriate, you have the facility to agree and establish pacts that favor 1712 02:24:41.639 --> 02:24:50.920 mutual coexistence. Also, by being committed to your own personal growth, you 1713 02:24:50.959 --> 02:24:56.760 learn a lot from your sentimental partner. In fact, when conflict emerges, 1714 02:24:56.200 --> 02:25:03.000 you face these situations directly, openly and honestly. You use communication to review 1715 02:25:03.000 --> 02:25:09.399 and update those conjugal agreements that prevent you from evolving as an individual. In 1716 02:25:09.479 --> 02:25:13.399 doing so, however, you no longer judge or disrespect. You have learned 1717 02:25:13.440 --> 02:25:18.639 to put the ego aside to yield and adapt flexibly to the needs of the 1718 02:25:18.719 --> 02:25:22.639 moment to know if the person you have chosen is a true travel companion with 1719 02:25:22.719 --> 02:25:26.479 proof who gets good note in the four c compatibility test in love as in 1720 02:25:28.559 --> 02:25:33.159 the other truly important matters of life. It is not a question of reason, 1721 02:25:33.799 --> 02:25:39.840 but of intuition. Choose with your heart. That' s right, 1722 02:25:39.040 --> 02:25:46.239 always consciously. Who knows love and freedom as a couple. Fundamental pillars on 1723 02:25:46.280 --> 02:25:52.879 which to build a relationship. True love is born of your happiness in the 1724 02:25:52.920 --> 02:25:58.360 vast majority of marriages. Telling you, I want sounds hollow. There are 1725 02:25:58.440 --> 02:26:03.680 no facts that support these words, hence they lack substance and are not nutritious 1726 02:26:03.799 --> 02:26:07.879 either. This is why the heart remains permanently empty always wanting something else. 1727 02:26:11.280 --> 02:26:16.040 That is your misfortune and that of all mankind. For your partner relationship to 1728 02:26:16.079 --> 02:26:22.319 be sustainable and satisfying, it has to be built on two fundamental pillars. 1729 02:26:22.360 --> 02:26:26.280 The first is true love. Nothing to do with the substitute you' re 1730 02:26:26.319 --> 02:26:30.920 so used to, although it' s latent inside all men and women. 1731 02:26:31.840 --> 02:26:37.159 This quality is the ultimate expression of female sexual essence. However, only through 1732 02:26:37.200 --> 02:26:41.159 a process of learning and evolution can it unfold its full potential at the service 1733 02:26:41.239 --> 02:26:46.360 of your relationship, completely transforming your way of relating yourself even though poets of 1734 02:26:46.399 --> 02:26:52.920 all time have tried. It is impossible to put into words what true love 1735 02:26:52.040 --> 02:26:56.639 is until you experience it. You will still have no idea what it is 1736 02:26:58.639 --> 02:27:03.040 and there is no more fertile land for it to bloom than your own happiness, 1737 02:27:03.559 --> 02:27:05.520 your ability to love is directly proportional to your level of well- being. 1738 02:27:07.559 --> 02:27:13.719 However, to feel good about yourself, it is essential that you love 1739 02:27:13.760 --> 02:27:18.520 to give yourself a lot of love at least three times a day, one 1740 02:27:18.840 --> 02:27:24.280 to get up another after eating and one last before sleeping. Love transforms you, 1741 02:27:24.959 --> 02:27:30.040 elevates you, makes you a loving person with much love to give. 1742 02:27:31.479 --> 02:27:37.239 While loving does not cost you anything, it is completely free It makes you 1743 02:27:37.280 --> 02:27:43.079 immensely rich and also generous. You make it possible to be 100% complicit 1744 02:27:43.120 --> 02:27:46.040 in the well- being of your partner, creating the most favorable conditions for 1745 02:27:46.079 --> 02:27:50.559 her to make herself happy. The more freedom you give, the more love 1746 02:27:50.559 --> 02:27:58.280 you receive. True love is always manifested through kind and constructive stimuli. You 1747 02:27:58.360 --> 02:28:03.280 only know how to be in black and assertive. He does and says the 1748 02:28:03.680 --> 02:28:07.799 right thing in the right way and at the right time, and is happy 1749 02:28:07.840 --> 02:28:11.479 to see his partner happy. Whatever reason it is, it never interferes or 1750 02:28:11.559 --> 02:28:18.479 interferes in the happiness of the other is neither jealous nor possessive. Give and 1751 02:28:18.559 --> 02:28:22.639 do not expect to receive. It' s because there' s nothing more 1752 02:28:22.639 --> 02:28:26.600 wonderful to give. Love benefits a lot more to the one who loves than 1753 02:28:26.639 --> 02:28:33.159 to love you full of love, gives you energy and renews you, heals 1754 02:28:33.239 --> 02:28:39.920 all your pain and heals all your wounds, nourishes your soul and stimulates your 1755 02:28:39.920 --> 02:28:46.760 consciousness. It helps you to be present, appreciating, enjoying and learning from 1756 02:28:46.840 --> 02:28:50.559 each situation. It' s the engine that leads you to give the best 1757 02:28:50.639 --> 02:28:54.079 of yourself. True love is like a seed that requires freedom to flourish and 1758 02:28:54.200 --> 02:29:00.000 exhale its aroma. It' s not something you can force, go, 1759 02:29:01.040 --> 02:29:05.120 or force or demand. You can' t ask, it can only happen. 1760 02:29:05.159 --> 02:29:11.799 It is a voluntary act, a personal decision, a commitment that is 1761 02:29:11.840 --> 02:29:16.959 acquired in a mature and conscious way. It arises from the freedom of each 1762 02:29:16.520 --> 02:29:22.559 individual when you truly love you respect the independence of the other without giving up 1763 02:29:22.680 --> 02:29:26.799 your own, neither possess nor be possessed. Just as you appreciate your individuality 1764 02:29:26.840 --> 02:29:31.920 being respected. You don' t even think about limiting, obstructing or curtailing 1765 02:29:31.000 --> 02:29:37.479 your partner' s autonomy. Love without freedom is slavery. True love is 1766 02:29:37.600 --> 02:29:43.639 born of freedom and also reinforces it. Paradoxically, the more freedom you give, 1767 02:29:43.200 --> 02:29:48.159 the more love you receive all the love you give life. It returns 1768 02:29:48.200 --> 02:29:54.680 it multiplied, returning to you from different places and in every possible way. 1769 02:29:56.280 --> 02:30:01.319 It opens the doors of the abundance of wall in pairs and you go from 1770 02:30:01.360 --> 02:30:07.360 being a beggar to becoming an emperor. True freedom arises from your trust in 1771 02:30:07.799 --> 02:30:13.440 the name of security. Many conventional marriages annihilate freedom and tie their relationship to 1772 02:30:13.479 --> 02:30:18.680 a ball and a chain. Doesn' t happen to you. Also be 1773 02:30:18.760 --> 02:30:22.520 honest in the depths of your heart you don' t trust your partner, 1774 02:30:24.719 --> 02:30:26.719 how you' re going to do it if you don' t trust yourself. 1775 02:30:26.760 --> 02:30:33.159 Hence Damocles' sword hangs permanently over your relationship because of your lack of 1776 02:30:33.239 --> 02:30:37.840 self- esteem. You think you' re not valuable enough, hence unconsciously 1777 02:30:37.879 --> 02:30:43.200 feeding irrational fears about what your partner could do if he had more space and 1778 02:30:43.239 --> 02:30:50.360 more independence. However, the second fundamental pillar so that you can enjoy a 1779 02:30:50.479 --> 02:30:54.520 couple for a long time is authentic freedom, the maximum expression of male sexual 1780 02:30:54.559 --> 02:30:58.559 essence and, please, do not fall into the mistake of confusing it with 1781 02:30:58.600 --> 02:31:03.040 librarianism that is, to always do what you want without taking into account the 1782 02:31:03.040 --> 02:31:09.959 needs of the other. Freedom without love is indifference. True freedom is a 1783 02:31:11.040 --> 02:31:16.360 seed that grows thanks to trust, commitment and loyalty. This is the sacred 1784 02:31:16.479 --> 02:31:22.959 covenant you make with your sentimental companion. Each couple is called to reach their 1785 02:31:22.040 --> 02:31:28.879 own agreements based on the uniqueness of each person. To achieve this, both 1786 02:31:30.760 --> 02:31:35.959 have to know themselves and each other. Inspired by freedom, you understand that 1787 02:31:35.040 --> 02:31:41.040 no one belongs to anyone, because love is not a private property and that 1788 02:31:41.440 --> 02:31:45.120 if you spend too much time with your partner, sooner or later, one 1789 02:31:45.239 --> 02:31:48.719 of you will start to run away, walk away and distance. The paradox 1790 02:31:48.799 --> 02:31:52.840 is that the more you get together, the more separate you are. You 1791 02:31:52.840 --> 02:31:56.559 ' ll feel it. The challenge is to learn to trust each other by 1792 02:31:56.680 --> 02:32:03.280 using freedom with maturity, with a hundred sor and responsibility. The more you 1793 02:32:03.399 --> 02:32:07.879 love, the more freedom you get. Genuine freedom stands on one deep detachment 1794 02:32:07.959 --> 02:32:13.760 to the other. If you hold on to your partner, you will destroy 1795 02:32:13.840 --> 02:32:18.920 the love you hold on to. Instead, when you transcend your state of 1796 02:32:18.920 --> 02:32:22.959 dependence, you begin to be able to give him what truly needs unconditional love. 1797 02:32:24.959 --> 02:32:30.600 Interestingly, from detachment you understand that you cannot give freedom more than anything, 1798 02:32:30.719 --> 02:32:33.959 because it is an inherent right to any human being. You can only 1799 02:32:33.959 --> 02:32:39.879 recognize, accept and respect the independence and autonomy of your sentimental companion. That 1800 02:32:39.959 --> 02:32:46.520 ' s when you stop enslaving him and enslaving yourself by wisely employing your own 1801 02:32:46.639 --> 02:32:50.719 freedom. You understand that his freedom can' t hurt you if you haven 1802 02:32:50.760 --> 02:32:56.559 ' t already dared to get love out of the cage, let him hear 1803 02:32:56.639 --> 02:33:03.840 if you come back, because he truly chooses to be with you and chooses 1804 02:33:03.840 --> 02:33:07.840 you precisely for being a loving person, for how much you love him, 1805 02:33:09.200 --> 02:33:11.799 don' t be afraid of mature freedom. Once and for all, you 1806 02:33:11.879 --> 02:33:16.719 are responsible for your thoughts, words, decisions and actions. Be the best 1807 02:33:16.799 --> 02:33:22.159 choice on the market for your partner. Get back the spirit and the way 1808 02:33:22.200 --> 02:33:26.440 you relate from when you were boyfriends. Remember when you didn' t see 1809 02:33:26.520 --> 02:33:31.799 each other every day before you stayed, you prepared to be ready to enjoy 1810 02:33:31.920 --> 02:33:37.879 as much as you were together. You didn' t take the other one 1811 02:33:37.879 --> 02:33:43.760 for granted. You had to work it out. You knew I didn' 1812 02:33:43.760 --> 02:33:46.680 t belong to you, that I was free and that I chose you. 1813 02:33:46.879 --> 02:33:54.639 Every day remembers how distance kept alive, attraction and desire. There were spaces 1814 02:33:54.680 --> 02:33:58.959 to miss you. The paradox is that the more freedom you give, the 1815 02:34:00.120 --> 02:34:03.680 more love you receive, moved by commitment and not by obligation. Your partner 1816 02:34:03.719 --> 02:34:09.040 feels much more energetic and enthusiastic to love you. Truly, love and freedom 1817 02:34:09.079 --> 02:34:15.280 drive away the fears of your ego. The worst thing that can happen to 1818 02:34:15.319 --> 02:34:18.840 you in a relationship that promotes true freedom is that, in the event of 1819 02:34:18.920 --> 02:34:24.799 a breakup, you end up learning a valuable lesson from life that you were 1820 02:34:24.840 --> 02:34:26.719 not compatible as a couple and that it was not worth giving up the ego 1821 02:34:26.719 --> 02:34:31.959 to live together. You' re so afraid of that all you need to 1822 02:34:33.040 --> 02:34:37.399 be happy is within you Your happiness has nothing to do with each other. 1823 02:34:37.879 --> 02:34:41.920 The instant you internalize it, you understand that attachment and dependence serve nothing but 1824 02:34:43.040 --> 02:34:46.479 to generate conflicts and suffering and, most seriously, that they have nothing to 1825 02:34:46.559 --> 02:34:54.000 do with true love. It' s not about the amount of time you 1826 02:34:54.079 --> 02:34:58.360 spend together, but about the quality of what you share when you relate from 1827 02:34:58.440 --> 02:35:03.799 true freedom, you no longer ask your partner to meet your expectations. You 1828 02:35:03.920 --> 02:35:09.719 just live and let her live. This is how your trust earns you parts 1829 02:35:09.760 --> 02:35:13.959 of the base that neither you nor she are bound to anything. This is 1830 02:35:15.000 --> 02:35:18.000 how they disappear suddenly and, by reason, tension, resignation, reproach or, 1831 02:35:18.639 --> 02:35:22.760 resentment The more space, you give each other, the more together, 1832 02:35:24.120 --> 02:35:28.520 I enter and greater is your intimacy. Love and freedom are the fruit of 1833 02:35:28.600 --> 02:35:31.319 a profound paradigm shift in your way of perceiving yourself and conceiving your relationships as 1834 02:35:31.319 --> 02:35:37.479 a couple. As you experience this revolution in your consciousness, little by little 1835 02:35:37.559 --> 02:35:43.120 your ego becomes diluted, all its complexes and fears fade away. If you 1836 02:35:43.239 --> 02:35:46.040 really want there to be a place for the couple in your life, you 1837 02:35:46.159 --> 02:35:50.200 have no choice but to stop taking up so much space. Decide what you 1838 02:35:50.280 --> 02:35:56.959 decide Never forget that love and freedom are the two wings of the same bird 1839 02:35:56.000 --> 02:36:01.920 you love are necessary for you and your partner to fly together. Each one 1840 02:36:01.959 --> 02:36:09.319 separately give partham Merige a chance. The moment your partner and your partner honor 1841 02:36:09.399 --> 02:36:16.440 and respect the love and freedom that constitute your true nature. You will be 1842 02:36:16.479 --> 02:36:20.200 willing to redefine your relationship. That' s when you can open up to 1843 02:36:20.200 --> 02:36:24.040 explore. Partham is a new social trend booming among the most progressive couples. 1844 02:36:26.159 --> 02:36:31.399 In essence, part- time marriage consists of building a bond that allows you 1845 02:36:31.440 --> 02:36:37.360 to be together, but not bound. This modality consists in promoting more spaces 1846 02:36:37.399 --> 02:36:41.799 of individuality, so that you can miss each other. The goal is to 1847 02:36:41.840 --> 02:36:48.360 recover the spirit from when you were engaged, that you had decided to join 1848 02:36:48.360 --> 02:36:50.840 together. Doesn' t mean you have to see each other every day or 1849 02:36:50.920 --> 02:36:56.639 sleep together every night. The important thing is that you enjoy quality time watching 1850 02:36:56.719 --> 02:37:00.959 when you really feel like it. This is how we try to sit down 1851 02:37:01.000 --> 02:37:05.959 and talk, establishing agreements that guarantee a solid logistical, economic and family organization, 1852 02:37:07.479 --> 02:37:11.600 without having to do everything together at every moment. In this sense, 1853 02:37:11.959 --> 02:37:15.200 there are couples where one of the two members sleeps outside the home for a 1854 02:37:15.200 --> 02:37:18.799 couple of days a week, others spend one weekend together and the next separately. 1855 02:37:22.639 --> 02:37:28.159 Paradoxically, enjoying more space for part- time marriage encourages the disappearance of 1856 02:37:28.239 --> 02:37:33.719 the feeling of being overly related, as well as the inevitable frictions caused by 1857 02:37:33.799 --> 02:37:39.159 hyper- living. In turn, it increases the emotional connection and rekindles the 1858 02:37:39.239 --> 02:37:45.200 sexual passion. The key to making this new pairing format work is to hold 1859 02:37:45.280 --> 02:37:52.399 on to maturity, respect, trust and responsibility. The only obstacle to starting 1860 02:37:52.440 --> 02:37:56.280 it is the fear of the unknown. However, looking at the landscape of 1861 02:37:56.319 --> 02:38:01.319 separations and divorces, what' s the worst thing that RS can happen by 1862 02:38:01.440 --> 02:38:07.959 giving it a chance among the separated succeeds the leven a partchi Geder may think 1863 02:38:09.040 --> 02:38:11.559 that you will never get the same thing that happens to most marriages that end 1864 02:38:11.680 --> 02:38:16.719 up dissolving. However, unless you take a new view of the relationship, 1865 02:38:16.879 --> 02:38:22.920 it' s almost certain that you' ll end up proving that you' 1866 02:38:22.959 --> 02:38:26.920 re wrong and if you don' t ask the separate group. Today, 1867 02:38:26.040 --> 02:38:30.879 very few remarry and repeat the same type of relationship based on daily coexistence. 1868 02:38:33.920 --> 02:38:37.239 The most open- minded confess that this was precisely the great mistake they made 1869 02:38:37.479 --> 02:38:43.680 spending too much time together with their sentimental companion. Moreover, many of those 1870 02:38:43.719 --> 02:38:48.639 who are back together opt for another booming stream called levino part higehr. In 1871 02:38:48.719 --> 02:38:54.360 essence, living apart, but together it consists of maintaining a serious and stable 1872 02:38:54.440 --> 02:39:01.360 relationship without ever sharing the same domicile. Each one lives in his own way 1873 02:39:01.719 --> 02:39:05.239 and in the same way as the grooms do, from time to time sleeping 1874 02:39:05.719 --> 02:39:09.760 together, thus reserving his legitimate individuality. In addition to succeeding among the most 1875 02:39:09.799 --> 02:39:15.639 liberal separated and divorced, this new modality also has more and more followers among 1876 02:39:15.719 --> 02:39:20.760 young people not in vain to go live together if they are either alone in 1877 02:39:20.840 --> 02:39:24.959 an apartment or sharing flat with some fellow. The truth is that the main 1878 02:39:26.079 --> 02:39:30.360 reason why a couple settles in a single house is usually economical and since the 1879 02:39:31.319 --> 02:39:35.319 architecture of the buildings has not yet adapted these new needs, living together but 1880 02:39:35.360 --> 02:39:41.840 apart is a luxury that many cannot afford. In the future there will be 1881 02:39:41.879 --> 02:39:46.200 houses of different sizes and tastes, so that each couple will be facilitated to 1882 02:39:46.280 --> 02:39:50.479 choose the model of coexistence that really suits them, instead of resorting to the 1883 02:39:50.600 --> 02:39:58.399 only option available today in the market sixteen, the harmonic and assertive communication co 1884 02:40:00.200 --> 02:40:07.920 deal with disagreements constructively talk to your partner from the heart. Society has imposed 1885 02:40:07.959 --> 02:40:11.840 on you a form of relationship that does not take into account your true nature. 1886 02:40:11.920 --> 02:40:16.000 The shit is that you take a lot of things for granted that you 1887 02:40:16.040 --> 02:40:18.639 ' ve never talked to your partner about. Neither of you know what your 1888 02:40:18.719 --> 02:40:24.639 real needs are. Hence, you have no choice but to misuse speculation and 1889 02:40:24.719 --> 02:40:31.680 supposition. The constant frustration you feel is nothing more than the result of all 1890 02:40:31.719 --> 02:40:37.520 those unexpressed and unfulfilled expectations. The big problem with almost all traditional marriages is 1891 02:40:37.639 --> 02:40:43.120 that they do not communicate. They may speak to each other, but they 1892 02:40:43.159 --> 02:40:48.360 do not establish a deep and real contact with each other, mainly because doing 1893 02:40:48.559 --> 02:40:52.200 so leads them in a frightening direction. Start listening and talking to themselves. 1894 02:40:54.719 --> 02:40:56.040 It' s very hard for you to be honest with your partner. If 1895 02:40:56.120 --> 02:41:03.040 you' re not honest with yourself, first, just like that, how 1896 02:41:03.040 --> 02:41:05.840 you' re going to respect your uniqueness If you don' t respect yours, 1897 02:41:05.840 --> 02:41:11.680 you can' t. In order for your relationship as a couple to 1898 02:41:11.760 --> 02:41:15.639 evolve satisfactorily over time, it is essential that you become two masters in the 1899 02:41:15.680 --> 02:41:20.600 art of conscious communication, that is, one that allows you to put delicate 1900 02:41:20.680 --> 02:41:24.959 and uncomfortable matters on the table, putting them in a harmonious way and discussing 1901 02:41:26.040 --> 02:41:30.600 them with certainty. Have a conflict of interest. It does not mean that 1902 02:41:30.719 --> 02:41:35.399 you must enter into conflict as a couple, much less attacked Verbally. It 1903 02:41:35.479 --> 02:41:41.000 is essential that you overcome the fears that prevent you from being authentic. You 1904 02:41:41.120 --> 02:41:45.959 have every right to be yourself. Whoever you are, take off your face 1905 02:41:46.000 --> 02:41:52.680 at once Dare to show yourself naked just as you are, look your partner 1906 02:41:52.760 --> 02:41:56.159 in the eye and talk to him from the heart about how you need him 1907 02:41:56.159 --> 02:42:01.719 to be your loving bond. You' re doomed yesterday to deal with your 1908 02:42:01.719 --> 02:42:03.079 partner for a lot of affinity and complicity that you have with your partner. 1909 02:42:03.319 --> 02:42:09.280 Disagreement is inevitable. You' re two different people. Hence, in order 1910 02:42:09.319 --> 02:42:15.719 to maintain a peaceful coexistence you need to know how to reconcile these differences. 1911 02:42:15.760 --> 02:42:20.000 Conscious communication is the tool that allows you to dialogue with your partner with the 1912 02:42:20.079 --> 02:42:24.639 aim of reaching agreements on the internal functioning of your relationship. It' s 1913 02:42:24.719 --> 02:42:31.479 essential that you dust two very untrained skills. The first is empathy to put 1914 02:42:31.600 --> 02:42:37.799 yourself in each other' s skin to understand their inner world. The truth 1915 02:42:37.879 --> 02:42:41.280 is, you have two ears and a mouth, but you talk twice as 1916 02:42:41.280 --> 02:42:46.040 much as you hear. It is one thing to hear what he says and 1917 02:42:46.079 --> 02:42:50.600 another to listen to him with empathy. To achieve this, you have to 1918 02:42:50.680 --> 02:42:54.799 empty yourself first, leaving the ego aside. This way, you don' 1919 02:42:54.920 --> 02:42:58.360 t take what the other says personally. That' s where the second rz 1920 02:42:58.440 --> 02:43:03.159 comes into play, assertiveness, that is, the ability to express your truth 1921 02:43:03.280 --> 02:43:07.520 in such a way that it doesn' t offend your partner. And this 1922 02:43:07.600 --> 02:43:13.520 involves using sensitivity, touch, softness and delicacy. This way you can talk 1923 02:43:13.559 --> 02:43:20.239 about anything, however uncomfortable this is. At the same time, you prevent 1924 02:43:20.280 --> 02:43:22.799 the lie, the concealment and the deception from being installed within your relationship. 1925 02:43:24.319 --> 02:43:28.879 If reconciliation is your priority, disagreement will allow you to grow as an individual 1926 02:43:28.920 --> 02:43:33.360 and evolve as a couple. But one thing is agreement and another is commitment. 1927 02:43:35.680 --> 02:43:41.040 You have the right to disagree, but not to force the other to 1928 02:43:41.079 --> 02:43:46.559 behave the way you want. If you force it, demand or manipulate it, 1929 02:43:46.000 --> 02:43:52.879 it will never work and, if telling it the truth is too unbearable. 1930 02:43:52.280 --> 02:43:58.600 You shouldn' t be with that couple either. Don' t be 1931 02:43:58.799 --> 02:44:05.079 stubborn move on to something else butterfly, clean. Dirty rags at least once 1932 02:44:05.239 --> 02:44:09.360 a week. The first big deal is to come to a pact with your 1933 02:44:09.399 --> 02:44:15.520 partner about when, where and how you are going to communicate consciously already, 1934 02:44:15.680 --> 02:44:18.639 just as you make a washing machine from time to time. To wash your 1935 02:44:18.760 --> 02:44:22.040 clothes, you need to mount an emotional laundromat. From time to time, 1936 02:44:22.120 --> 02:44:28.000 to keep your relationship clean the dirty rags, you have to wash them at 1937 02:44:28.040 --> 02:44:33.200 least once a week. Set a time and place where you can talk about 1938 02:44:33.280 --> 02:44:37.000 what really matters to stay on Sundays to eat alone in a restaurant that you 1939 02:44:37.200 --> 02:44:41.239 both like. It' s a great time to share, as you feel 1940 02:44:41.280 --> 02:44:48.200 about each other. Things never have to be talked about hot. Discussing is 1941 02:44:48.319 --> 02:44:52.760 a waste of time. It is essential to postpone these conversations until the moods 1942 02:44:52.760 --> 02:44:58.719 are calm to talk about certain issues. It is essential to be calm and 1943 02:44:58.719 --> 02:45:03.760 relaxed. By planning these types of meetings, you create a framework in which 1944 02:45:03.799 --> 02:45:07.959 you can talk about the relationship with more perspective. This allows you to adopt 1945 02:45:09.079 --> 02:45:13.719 a more flexible attitude to your partner' s comments and approaches. It is 1946 02:45:13.760 --> 02:45:18.920 very good to respect the word shift and not interrupt either fall into the error 1947 02:45:18.959 --> 02:45:22.399 of confronting their ignorance. If you still think you can change your partner, 1948 02:45:22.479 --> 02:45:26.639 you just don' t understand anything. When you talk maturely, you go 1949 02:45:26.719 --> 02:45:33.760 smoothing out roughnesses and establishing agreements on a voluntary basis and with them appear commitment, 1950 02:45:33.440 --> 02:45:39.760 stability and satisfaction. Interestingly, each negotiation contains a paradox. If you 1951 02:45:41.000 --> 02:45:48.280 give in you win, you gain in spiritual development, that is, in 1952 02:45:48.719 --> 02:45:52.120 humility, tolerance, detachment and other virtues. And if you put your partner 1953 02:45:52.159 --> 02:45:58.600 ' s needs before yours grow, you grow in love, well- being 1954 02:45:58.600 --> 02:46:03.200 and happiness, try ers and then tell me. If you' re a 1955 02:46:03.239 --> 02:46:07.760 man, learn to listen? If you' re a man, it' 1956 02:46:07.760 --> 02:46:13.000 s probably hard for you to listen. It' s no stereotype, it 1957 02:46:13.079 --> 02:46:16.079 ' s just the truth. Because of your male sexual essence, every time 1958 02:46:16.120 --> 02:46:20.959 your wife talks to you about her problems. At the moment you interrupt her 1959 02:46:20.959 --> 02:46:24.799 trying to fix her mood, her emotional openness. It makes you uncomfortable. 1960 02:46:26.799 --> 02:46:30.520 That' s why you' re immediately trying to give him solutions that put 1961 02:46:30.520 --> 02:46:33.280 an end to the matter. However, acting in this way only complicates things. 1962 02:46:37.879 --> 02:46:43.479 Deep down, she' s just looking to vent. He manifests his 1963 02:46:43.559 --> 02:46:48.200 feelings to intimate with you ironically. The more you listen to him, the 1964 02:46:48.239 --> 02:46:52.479 more likely you are to be tense and when you are tense, it is 1965 02:46:52.840 --> 02:46:56.079 not you who speaks, but the ego. When speaking altered your tone of 1966 02:46:56.159 --> 02:47:01.520 voice is also altered by adopting an offensive attitude. This is why your partner 1967 02:47:01.559 --> 02:47:07.479 tends to get defensive. The big challenge for the masculine is to learn to 1968 02:47:07.520 --> 02:47:13.479 listen empathically the next time your wife starts, to share her insecurities and worries, 1969 02:47:15.239 --> 02:47:18.440 to limit yourself, to validate and respect her emotions, instead of looking 1970 02:47:18.479 --> 02:47:24.159 at her as a broken carburetor who needs to be fixed watch her, like 1971 02:47:24.200 --> 02:47:26.559 a flower that needs to be watered with love, that she tells you, 1972 02:47:26.920 --> 02:47:30.600 that she is not comfortable with her boss. It' s not a problem, 1973 02:47:30.799 --> 02:47:33.719 it' s a passing mood. It has a beginning and an end, 1974 02:47:35.920 --> 02:47:39.040 but it has no solution. The best thing you can do is to 1975 02:47:39.079 --> 02:47:43.680 accompany her in the process. First, listen to her with all your attention 1976 02:47:43.719 --> 02:47:50.000 and, when you feel that she has ventilated, hug her look her in 1977 02:47:50.079 --> 02:47:56.799 the eye, tell her that you want to kiss her tenderly make her laugh 1978 02:47:56.840 --> 02:48:01.239 as long as she feels supported and loved by you is that onoto will evaporate 1979 02:48:01.239 --> 02:48:07.399 naturally. Then she will thank you and you will feel that there is no 1980 02:48:07.479 --> 02:48:11.559 reason, for you have done nothing. If you' re a woman, 1981 02:48:13.000 --> 02:48:16.200 learn to trust. If you' re a woman, it' s probably 1982 02:48:16.200 --> 02:48:20.079 hard for you to trust. It' s not a prejudice, it' 1983 02:48:20.079 --> 02:48:24.559 s a reality. Because of your feminine sexual essence, when your partner is 1984 02:48:24.600 --> 02:48:28.440 faced with adversity, you take it for granted that he or she will appreciate 1985 02:48:28.520 --> 02:48:31.479 all the help you can give him or her. That' s why you 1986 02:48:31.559 --> 02:48:35.440 tend to give him advice that he doesn' t ask you at heart, 1987 02:48:37.040 --> 02:48:41.520 because you like to control things. Uncertainty makes you nervous. By doing so, 1988 02:48:41.879 --> 02:48:46.719 man feels that you do not trust his ability to overcome obstacles that may 1989 02:48:46.760 --> 02:48:50.200 arise along the way. Next time you see him worried about not achieving one 1990 02:48:50.280 --> 02:48:56.200 of his goals. Leave him alone, don' t tell him what to 1991 02:48:56.200 --> 02:49:03.559 do. Accept the situation by remaining silent and trusting that you will be able 1992 02:49:03.639 --> 02:49:07.040 to achieve it on your own. Getting lost behind the wheel of the car 1993 02:49:07.120 --> 02:49:11.879 is not a problem, it is a challenge, an opportunity to prove its 1994 02:49:11.879 --> 02:49:18.319 worth. He thinks men are very susceptible in this regard. That' s 1995 02:49:18.360 --> 02:49:22.360 why your well- intentioned comments are often taken as judgments and criticisms. Let 1996 02:49:24.799 --> 02:49:28.639 me explain it to you by a very nice analogy. There' s a 1997 02:49:28.719 --> 02:49:33.799 kind of dance called swim. In it, the masculine dances with the feminine, 1998 02:49:33.040 --> 02:49:37.600 establishing a connection so deep that there comes a time when neither of the 1999 02:49:37.719 --> 02:49:43.000 two dancers knows where one begins and where the other ends. They become the 2000 02:49:43.079 --> 02:49:46.000 dance. Well, the first day you go to a swin class you learn 2001 02:49:46.079 --> 02:49:50.440 a very valuable lesson to understand partner relationships, that the man is the leader 2002 02:49:50.520 --> 02:49:56.079 and the woman the follower, that is, that the masculine must safely lead 2003 02:49:56.120 --> 02:50:00.000 the steps and movements, while the woman let go of control, letting herself 2004 02:50:00.239 --> 02:50:05.959 be carried away by her dance partner. In this way, the two put 2005 02:50:05.079 --> 02:50:09.120 the best of themselves at the service of the other. This is how you 2006 02:50:09.239 --> 02:50:18.399 both enjoy the dance of life much more. Seventeen sexuality. Conscious reflections to 2007 02:50:18.440 --> 02:50:24.879 reinvent sex and sexuality. Become a tantric lover. It does not matter the 2008 02:50:24.920 --> 02:50:31.680 degree of commitment or intimacy, nor sexual orientation. More and more lovers and 2009 02:50:31.719 --> 02:50:39.239 couples both heterosexual and homosexual are transforming their way of living sexuality so that sexual 2010 02:50:39.319 --> 02:50:45.040 desire and passion are deeper and longer lasting. If that' s your case, 2011 02:50:45.360 --> 02:50:48.079 beyond getting pleasure in your heart, the need to regain the sacred value 2012 02:50:48.120 --> 02:50:54.959 of feeling united with your partner beats. Proof of this emerging need is the 2013 02:50:54.000 --> 02:51:00.520 rise of tantra in society. Beyond her sexual connotation. This word means expansion 2014 02:51:00.520 --> 02:51:05.000 and represents a whole philosophy of life. Its origin is found in a series 2015 02:51:05.040 --> 02:51:09.680 of Hindu books that describe certain rites and disciplines aimed at living sexuality consciously, 2016 02:51:09.920 --> 02:51:16.360 among other existential issues. These texts were written more than two thousand years ago 2017 02:51:16.440 --> 02:51:20.120 in the form of dialogue between the god chive and the goddess sacti, which 2018 02:51:20.200 --> 02:51:26.000 symbolize the masculine and the feminine respectively. From the tantric perspective, sex is 2019 02:51:26.079 --> 02:51:33.040 he who tells you that it allows you to merge with your partner, becoming 2020 02:51:33.040 --> 02:51:39.159 one with her, and it is precisely the experience of this unity that fills 2021 02:51:39.159 --> 02:51:43.959 you with bliss, renewing your vital energy and enhancing the affective bond with your 2022 02:51:43.959 --> 02:51:48.840 sentimental companion. The practice of tantra consists in abandoning any goal imposed by the 2023 02:51:48.840 --> 02:51:52.200 mind, learning to be more connected to your body during the sexual act. 2024 02:51:52.440 --> 02:51:56.719 In fact, it proposes to change language with the aim of sacralising the union 2025 02:51:56.760 --> 02:52:03.840 between male and female sexual energy, honoring and dignifying sexuality. For example, 2026 02:52:03.280 --> 02:52:07.840 the penis is called Lingham, which means light rod, and the vagina Johnny, 2027 02:52:09.639 --> 02:52:16.040 which means sacred space sound better than cock and pussy. No, what 2028 02:52:16.120 --> 02:52:20.920 ' s going on with your partner to make love? Unlike conventional sex, 2029 02:52:20.360 --> 02:52:24.360 in which impulse and spontaneity are overrated, the so intent to carefully prepare your 2030 02:52:24.399 --> 02:52:33.079 sexual encounters employs your imagination and creativity to turn your bedroom into an authentic temple 2031 02:52:33.200 --> 02:52:39.879 of love. You don' t have any trouble putting on soft music and 2032 02:52:39.879 --> 02:52:43.559 lighting some candles. Another aspect to be taken into account is the length of 2033 02:52:43.639 --> 02:52:48.079 the sexual act. It is not a question of demonizing the fleeting outbursts known 2034 02:52:50.479 --> 02:52:54.479 as kikis, in which the man ends when the woman has not yet begun. 2035 02:52:54.520 --> 02:52:58.680 However, conscious sex requires a space, rhythm and time of life finished 2036 02:52:58.680 --> 02:53:03.559 look at it as a gift that you and your partner make each other. 2037 02:53:05.239 --> 02:53:09.440 It' s a time to forget about the world by connecting and feeling each 2038 02:53:09.440 --> 02:53:15.280 other. Really, because of female sexuality, preliminary games are essential that you 2039 02:53:15.360 --> 02:53:22.600 have to remember. It shows how masculinized contemporary sex remains. Anyway, to 2040 02:53:24.600 --> 02:53:28.479 entertain your partner with a relaxing massage can be a good start to not be 2041 02:53:28.559 --> 02:53:33.639 again victims of coitocracy. You have to learn to put awareness in your breath, 2042 02:53:35.000 --> 02:53:39.520 especially if you are a man, the shorter and faster, the more 2043 02:53:39.680 --> 02:53:43.040 slave you are to the impulses that move you to culminate the sexual act through 2044 02:53:43.159 --> 02:53:48.440 orgasm. Instead, the deeper and more relaxed, the greater your control and 2045 02:53:48.479 --> 02:53:56.000 ability to enjoy the immense range of sensations offered by sex. It is not 2046 02:53:56.079 --> 02:54:01.200 a matter of going to beat any record, but of having enough time for 2047 02:54:01.239 --> 02:54:07.879 sex to renew you physically and spiritually. The purpose of conscious sex is not 2048 02:54:07.959 --> 02:54:15.120 to achieve orgasm, but to experience ecstasy. Prioritizes quality versus quantity. Don 2049 02:54:15.200 --> 02:54:20.520 ' t doubt it. Fucking conscientiously what it means to you to be romantic. 2050 02:54:20.959 --> 02:54:26.479 Romanticism has two very different meanings depending on whether you are a man or 2051 02:54:26.520 --> 02:54:31.120 a woman. For the female sexual essence consists of something similar to this dine 2052 02:54:31.159 --> 02:54:35.719 with the couple outdoors at night in the light of the stars, with slow 2053 02:54:35.120 --> 02:54:39.280 music background, drinking a good wine and having a pleasant conversation while enjoying a 2054 02:54:39.319 --> 02:54:46.520 tasty meal so that this event is perfect. If you' re a man, 2055 02:54:48.040 --> 02:54:50.319 you can' t expect her to organize it. Asking her where she 2056 02:54:50.319 --> 02:54:56.440 wants to go to dinner can be offensive to them. Indirectly you' re 2057 02:54:56.479 --> 02:54:58.959 telling her that you don' t take the trouble of turning it on so 2058 02:54:58.959 --> 02:55:05.520 that the woman, the women radiant you, has to be able to relax 2059 02:55:05.559 --> 02:55:09.799 in her liberal femininity, to be in charge. You set up the plan 2060 02:55:09.920 --> 02:55:13.680 to surprise her by reserving a table in a new place she likes. If 2061 02:55:13.760 --> 02:55:16.440 you want her to spread her legs for you, you have to open your 2062 02:55:16.440 --> 02:55:22.840 heart first. For her have at least one detail. Every week, any 2063 02:55:22.879 --> 02:55:30.399 nonsense that starts a smile on her, prepare her breakfast, steal a kiss, 2064 02:55:30.600 --> 02:55:33.639 go get her at work. The important thing is that these acts show 2065 02:55:33.680 --> 02:55:37.959 how much you care and think about it. Instead, for male sexual essence, 2066 02:55:39.399 --> 02:55:46.239 romanticism is something much simpler. Forget about a dinner under the stars. 2067 02:55:46.280 --> 02:55:52.239 For the man there is no greater romantic act than a good blowjob that you 2068 02:55:52.280 --> 02:55:54.639 dress in lingerie, sexy and expect him in bed, ready and eager to 2069 02:55:54.680 --> 02:55:58.799 make love with him, and also that you are flexible and respectful every time 2070 02:55:58.799 --> 02:56:03.360 you decide to go to his cave or stay with his friends. The more 2071 02:56:03.440 --> 02:56:07.959 romantic a man shows himself in the way of a woman, the more romantic 2072 02:56:07.040 --> 02:56:11.680 she becomes. According to man' s preferences, one becomes more detailed and 2073 02:56:11.719 --> 02:56:18.799 the other much more feline. If you impose monogamy, you will end up 2074 02:56:18.799 --> 02:56:22.799 being unfaithful, but not scandalized. Most couples are unfaithful and it is not 2075 02:56:22.879 --> 02:56:31.399 for the least monogamy is unnatural. The legal imperative of fidelity is doomed to 2076 02:56:31.479 --> 02:56:37.920 failure. The obligation has nothing to do with commitment. Imposing monogamy often results 2077 02:56:37.000 --> 02:56:45.360 in deception and betrayal. Imagine that your favorite dish is spaghetti bolognese. What 2078 02:56:45.399 --> 02:56:50.120 if you felt forced to eat them for breakfast at noon and also for dinner 2079 02:56:50.520 --> 02:56:58.959 every day for years over time you would end up fed up, losing the 2080 02:56:58.040 --> 02:57:03.360 taste and pleasure of eating. Imagine, moreover, that during that time you 2081 02:57:03.479 --> 02:57:09.799 can' t eat other foods either. The rest of the dishes are forbidden. 2082 02:57:09.159 --> 02:57:16.000 Such repression would generate a greater desire to eat anything. This is what 2083 02:57:16.000 --> 02:57:20.399 is happening today. I' m not saying that you have to give up 2084 02:57:20.399 --> 02:57:24.600 your favorite dish, but consider the possibility of varying from time to time. 2085 02:57:24.559 --> 02:57:28.440 Interestingly, some people prefer their partner to be unfaithful to pose sexual freedom within 2086 02:57:28.520 --> 02:57:35.799 their relationship even though it hurts the ego. Men and women are free to 2087 02:57:35.879 --> 02:57:41.760 taste the food they want free from morale and guilt. Dare to look your 2088 02:57:41.840 --> 02:57:46.879 partner in the eye and keep these kinds of awkward conversations. Dialogad reached agreements 2089 02:57:46.879 --> 02:57:54.200 and establish commitments based on your true nature. The paradox is that the day 2090 02:57:54.319 --> 02:57:58.639 you allow yourself to be free to be with other people, little by little, 2091 02:57:58.799 --> 02:58:03.639 the pressure rods will disappear. There with her also desire and promiscuity. 2092 02:58:05.600 --> 02:58:09.000 Suddenly you' ll see yourself making use of your sexual freedom. With maturity 2093 02:58:09.040 --> 02:58:15.399 and wisdom and who knows. You may even embrace monogamy voluntarily, enjoying sex 2094 02:58:15.399 --> 02:58:24.319 more than ever eighteen of the fine print of parenthood. Which nobody tells you 2095 02:58:24.360 --> 02:58:28.840 about having kids. Having a child is the most challenging experience in life. 2096 02:58:31.600 --> 02:58:35.399 The experience of motherhood and parenthood is undoubtedly the most beautiful of life, but 2097 02:58:35.440 --> 02:58:41.680 also the most exhausting and challenging, especially during the early years. Hence, 2098 02:58:41.959 --> 02:58:46.159 before you bring a baby into the world, you better be very well prepared 2099 02:58:46.239 --> 02:58:50.239 and well informed, if you are already a couple, it often gives rise 2100 02:58:50.319 --> 02:58:54.280 to many problems. By the time you go from two to three, conflicts 2101 02:58:54.280 --> 02:59:00.639 multiply. The children do not unite the couples or make them happier rather they 2102 02:59:00.719 --> 02:59:03.079 uncover the truths hidden under the carpet on which your partner and you have built 2103 02:59:03.120 --> 02:59:09.840 your home. To begin with, you' re going to witness the egos 2104 02:59:09.920 --> 02:59:16.000 of your social and family environment revolutionizing now that you' re going to be 2105 02:59:16.120 --> 02:59:18.799 a parent at the very moment you give them the news, you discover that 2106 02:59:18.840 --> 02:59:24.760 everyone else is experts in education and parenthood, and you don' t imagine 2107 02:59:24.799 --> 02:59:30.440 how many tips you' re going to receive on how to live this crucial 2108 02:59:30.440 --> 02:59:31.920 event, many of them totally contradictory. And it' s that, since 2109 02:59:33.000 --> 02:59:35.440 every baby is unique and every couple is different, you' ll have no 2110 02:59:35.479 --> 02:59:39.799 choice but to learn through your own experience, one thing is what you think 2111 02:59:39.879 --> 02:59:45.920 parenthood is and another infinitely different what it really means to be a parent. 2112 02:59:46.239 --> 02:59:50.079 It is impossible to know in advance how much the arrival of your first child 2113 02:59:50.159 --> 02:59:56.200 is going to change your life and what to say about childbirth seeing live and 2114 02:59:56.200 --> 03:00:01.000 live, as a tiny human being of red and purple color, full of 2115 03:00:01.079 --> 03:00:03.559 blood and mucosa protrudes from the inside of the woman. It is a magical 2116 03:00:03.639 --> 03:00:09.719 half experience, half gore and completely impossible to forget, my mother, the 2117 03:00:09.760 --> 03:00:16.680 amount of new smells, colors and sounds that you will begin to experience get 2118 03:00:16.760 --> 03:00:20.440 ready to flirt with your family budget. As soon as the baby is born, 2119 03:00:20.079 --> 03:00:24.239 you find yourself holding in your arms an innocent and fragile tender thing. 2120 03:00:24.239 --> 03:00:28.719 However, following protocol and tradition for three days you will have to deal with 2121 03:00:28.760 --> 03:00:33.680 hordes of family members filling the hospital room with noise and gifts, which is 2122 03:00:35.079 --> 03:00:41.440 sometimes more exhausting than childbirth itself. I recommend that you remember that all these 2123 03:00:41.479 --> 03:00:46.000 people have the best intentions. Very few realize that, in reality, what 2124 03:00:46.040 --> 03:00:48.639 you need most is to be alone with your partner and your child, who 2125 03:00:48.760 --> 03:00:54.399 truly loves you and respects you will have the decency to call you or describe 2126 03:00:54.479 --> 03:00:58.000 a whatsapp and will come to you when you are already installed at home for 2127 03:00:58.719 --> 03:01:01.479 or or or another side, it is worth having older brothers from whom to 2128 03:01:01.520 --> 03:01:05.120 inherit or have a well- muffed mattress, since the disbursement you must make 2129 03:01:05.159 --> 03:01:13.440 to face the first year is around five zero euros. This amount includes the 2130 03:01:13.479 --> 03:01:16.959 crib, the cart, the car seat, the ropit, the nursery, 2131 03:01:16.479 --> 03:01:22.799 the papillae, the diapers, the cleansing wipes, the pacifiers, the medicines, 2132 03:01:22.200 --> 03:01:28.760 the cremites, the premama clothes and the breast- feeding bras. I 2133 03:01:28.879 --> 03:01:35.239 hate to tell you that this budget does not contemplate luxuries such as the bath, 2134 03:01:35.559 --> 03:01:39.920 the changer, the furniture for the room, toys, books, the 2135 03:01:39.920 --> 03:01:46.360 babysitter, the nursery, or the vitamin supplements so as not to despair you. 2136 03:01:46.799 --> 03:01:50.200 Think of these expenses as a good investment and while you get to the 2137 03:01:50.280 --> 03:01:56.719 idea, assume that you won' t have sex for a season as a 2138 03:01:56.799 --> 03:02:00.959 couple, you have to spend forty days of sexual quarantine. If you' 2139 03:02:00.959 --> 03:02:05.879 re a man, you' ll have to settle for your right hand, 2140 03:02:05.040 --> 03:02:07.079 and if you' re lucky, you might even count on your wife' 2141 03:02:07.079 --> 03:02:11.840 s mouth. If that' s the case, you' ll have to 2142 03:02:11.840 --> 03:02:15.319 fight for their breasts. Children get the worst and the best out of you. 2143 03:02:16.719 --> 03:02:18.760 It' s impossible to remedy it. The baby makes you dad and 2144 03:02:18.799 --> 03:02:24.840 mom, burying the man and the woman underneath. This new role brings you 2145 03:02:24.879 --> 03:02:30.000 to know aspects of IT itself that you didn' t know about when touching 2146 03:02:30.000 --> 03:02:33.719 your lifestyle. In many cases, the accumulated tiredness causes your darker and darker 2147 03:02:33.840 --> 03:02:39.799 side to flourish, revealing the kind of person you are. It is no 2148 03:02:39.840 --> 03:02:43.159 coincidence that during the first three years, since the arrival of the first child, 2149 03:02:43.840 --> 03:02:46.319 there have been so many separations. Suddenly you realize who you' ve 2150 03:02:46.399 --> 03:02:52.079 married. It is impossible for a couple to survive unless they cultivate communication, 2151 03:02:52.440 --> 03:03:00.760 complicity, empathy, flexibility, patience, respect and generosity. If you have 2152 03:03:00.879 --> 03:03:05.559 a mother or mother- in- law, I hope you have a good 2153 03:03:05.559 --> 03:03:07.600 relationship to ask for help without paying any emotional tolls. In return, it 2154 03:03:07.639 --> 03:03:11.559 is essential that you devote time and space to your partner and also to yourself. 2155 03:03:11.600 --> 03:03:18.760 If you don' t, you' ll literally go crazy, you 2156 03:03:18.200 --> 03:03:22.879 ' ll end up exhausted and deranged going through life like a zombie or worse, 2157 03:03:24.079 --> 03:03:24.840 paying your bad milk to your son because he doesn' t behave like 2158 03:03:24.840 --> 03:03:28.760 you. You need him to behave so you can have an instant of peace 2159 03:03:28.760 --> 03:03:33.000 and tranquility. From here he sent a hug full of energy to those parents 2160 03:03:33.040 --> 03:03:37.799 who have and can not afford any outside help. The truth is that the 2161 03:03:37.799 --> 03:03:41.920 money invested in someone who lovingly can take care of your children for a few 2162 03:03:43.040 --> 03:03:46.680 hours a day. It' s the best money invested. It allows you 2163 03:03:46.680 --> 03:03:50.120 to devote quality time to your offspring to enjoy them. Really. It' 2164 03:03:50.200 --> 03:03:54.239 s not about outsourcing parenthood, leaving your child in the hands of a babysitter 2165 03:03:54.239 --> 03:04:00.200 24 hours a day, but about finding a way to find balance. Do 2166 03:04:00.239 --> 03:04:05.239 not make the mistake of feeling guilty if you temporarily separate from your children, 2167 03:04:05.719 --> 03:04:13.559 forget about sleeping for several years. Babies are adorable creatures, but since they 2168 03:04:13.639 --> 03:04:16.600 can' t fend for themselves right away, they stick to mom' s 2169 03:04:16.680 --> 03:04:22.879 affection and dad' s safety by living in survival mode. They are very 2170 03:04:22.920 --> 03:04:26.600 dependent and demanding and so self- centered that they see no one but themselves. 2171 03:04:28.120 --> 03:04:33.440 They need 100% of your attention. They don' t settle for 2172 03:04:33.440 --> 03:04:39.079 less. If the woman decides to breastfeed, the babies will get hooked to 2173 03:04:39.159 --> 03:04:43.079 her boob for an average of six hours a day. Not in vain. 2174 03:04:43.440 --> 03:04:48.440 We have to feed him every three hours. You also have to clean your 2175 03:04:48.479 --> 03:04:52.479 ass and change your diaper about seven times a day, as well as put 2176 03:04:52.520 --> 03:04:56.000 it on and take your clothes off and bathe you Mimos play with it and 2177 03:04:56.120 --> 03:04:58.920 be next to it at all times so that you don' t feel alone 2178 03:04:58.920 --> 03:05:01.399 and don' t get hurt. I' m telling you in a cute, 2179 03:05:01.680 --> 03:05:05.959 cute way so you don' t shit on yourself and hope that' 2180 03:05:05.959 --> 03:05:09.399 s not all. When they start crawling, they go through a stage where 2181 03:05:09.440 --> 03:05:15.319 they look for a way to kill themselves. Every five minutes I leave the 2182 03:05:15.319 --> 03:05:18.680 worst for the end. The vast majority of babies wake up a couple of 2183 03:05:18.719 --> 03:05:24.120 times every night to some many more using their loud cry as a means of 2184 03:05:24.120 --> 03:05:28.360 communication. There are nights that seem to be subjecting you to Chinese torture in 2185 03:05:28.440 --> 03:05:33.360 general. They cry because it hurts to get their teeth out, because they 2186 03:05:33.479 --> 03:05:35.479 have a fever, or because their diapers have been overflowed by the pee or 2187 03:05:35.479 --> 03:05:39.319 poop. Some people tell you that it is best to let them squeal for 2188 03:05:39.360 --> 03:05:45.120 a while so that they learn the habit of falling asleep for themselves and others, 2189 03:05:45.600 --> 03:05:48.799 instead, propose to put them in your bed so that they feel comforted 2190 03:05:48.840 --> 03:05:54.360 by the warmth it gives them. Feel close to deciding what you decide, 2191 03:05:54.920 --> 03:05:58.319 make you draw strength from wherever and not pay for your bad mood with your 2192 03:05:58.319 --> 03:06:03.440 partner, avoiding falling into the tyranny of reproaches and from it you stop being 2193 03:06:03.479 --> 03:06:09.440 the most important thing of your life. To be a father means to annihilate 2194 03:06:09.440 --> 03:06:11.239 your debauchery. You can' t do what you want to do anymore. 2195 03:06:13.159 --> 03:06:18.959 You can' t be your priority anymore You' re responsible for keeping another 2196 03:06:18.959 --> 03:06:20.760 human being alive. You have to adapt to your son' s schedule, 2197 03:06:22.040 --> 03:06:26.159 who becomes your boss the next of your life. And since someone has to 2198 03:06:26.200 --> 03:06:30.920 be around the creature 24 hours a day sooner or later, decisions have to 2199 03:06:30.959 --> 03:06:35.959 be made. As a couple. You can allow one of the two to 2200 03:06:35.000 --> 03:06:41.680 stop working, count on the daily help of the grandparents, hire a babysitter 2201 03:06:41.760 --> 03:06:46.440 on a fixed basis, take him to the nursery. If you choose this 2202 03:06:46.520 --> 03:06:50.719 last option, you' ll most likely be returned to your child within three 2203 03:06:50.799 --> 03:06:56.000 days of some partner' s virus infection and believe me. You don' 2204 03:06:56.040 --> 03:06:58.440 t want to be in that situation. To take care of your sick son, 2205 03:06:58.760 --> 03:07:01.840 to be the master of his pain and feeling powerless for not being able 2206 03:07:01.840 --> 03:07:05.000 to cure him. It' s a challenge to the ego. In addition, 2207 03:07:05.520 --> 03:07:11.239 you and your partner are likely to become ill, making it difficult for 2208 03:07:11.319 --> 03:07:16.399 you to take care of your child' s needs without disturbing yourself. It 2209 03:07:16.559 --> 03:07:24.639 ' s an energy odyssey you' ve just been wrecked and as for the 2210 03:07:24.680 --> 03:07:26.399 weekends, forget about going to the movies, doing sports or reading a book. 2211 03:07:28.360 --> 03:07:31.920 Your new hobby is called fathering. Unless you have friends with children, 2212 03:07:33.319 --> 03:07:37.920 you will feel the need to make new friends by getting out of your social 2213 03:07:37.959 --> 03:07:43.799 comfort zone. The couple needs air and movement. Sharing this experience with real 2214 03:07:43.840 --> 03:07:50.680 friends makes a difference in community. The energy consumed by children is distributed and 2215 03:07:50.760 --> 03:07:56.719 diluted. Everyone takes responsibility for everyone and, paradoxically, everyone feels a little 2216 03:07:56.799 --> 03:08:01.760 more free. For example, being in a garden chatting while children play in 2217 03:08:01.840 --> 03:08:07.280 a safe environment is simply a delight. Being a parent is crossing an unconditional 2218 03:08:07.319 --> 03:08:11.600 love master' s degree. Be very careful that you don' t get 2219 03:08:11.639 --> 03:08:16.479 the same thing. Fear and ignorance cause many people, by having children, 2220 03:08:16.680 --> 03:08:22.600 to become neurotic. In fact, there is a widespread tendency to become perfect 2221 03:08:22.639 --> 03:08:28.799 parents, falling into the grip of the very dangerous overprotection. However, it 2222 03:08:28.200 --> 03:08:33.399 is impossible to prevent your children from coming into contact with pain. Babies suffer 2223 03:08:33.399 --> 03:08:39.479 from all kinds of diseases. They experience different levels of fever, fall to 2224 03:08:39.559 --> 03:08:43.920 the ground, beat and paint the diaper with different colors and textures. They 2225 03:08:43.920 --> 03:08:48.040 often cry because they don' t understand why what happens to them. But 2226 03:08:48.319 --> 03:08:52.520 as much as you read books about parenthood, you will surely fall into the 2227 03:08:52.600 --> 03:08:56.760 hazing of going to the emergency room late in the morning for turning a granite 2228 03:08:56.840 --> 03:09:01.879 of sand into a huge castle like the mother or father. The best gift 2229 03:09:01.920 --> 03:09:05.440 you can offer your baby is to share with him your emotional well- being, 2230 03:09:05.879 --> 03:09:11.520 stop with so many organic products. Your happiness is the best food you 2231 03:09:11.600 --> 03:09:16.120 can give him. The truth is that your balance and serenity give you confidence 2232 03:09:16.159 --> 03:09:20.879 and security. He doesn' t want any more toys, but more attention 2233 03:09:20.879 --> 03:09:24.719 from there than before you started taking care of him, you should have taken 2234 03:09:24.719 --> 03:09:30.040 care of yourself. First, exercising the role of father or mother implies enrolling 2235 03:09:30.079 --> 03:09:35.520 in an unconditional love master' s degree. There may be no grades, 2236 03:09:35.959 --> 03:09:43.680 but there are daily exams to pass and overcome the challenges of having a child. 2237 03:09:43.000 --> 03:09:46.120 You have to understand that now the important thing is no longer you, 2238 03:09:46.239 --> 03:09:50.520 but what happens through you in the service of your child. Thus, loving 2239 03:09:50.559 --> 03:09:56.600 means turning their needs into your real priorities. And while this statement is easy 2240 03:09:56.639 --> 03:10:01.520 to say, it gives for a lifetime of learning, good journey nineteen, 2241 03:10:03.440 --> 03:10:11.440 almost always happy and perhaps forever decalogue of conscious couples. One. I' 2242 03:10:11.479 --> 03:10:18.200 m responsible for my happiness, not yours. You' re responsible for your 2243 03:10:18.200 --> 03:10:22.959 happiness, not mine. Two. I' m responsible for my suffering, 2244 03:10:22.520 --> 03:10:28.920 not yours. You are responsible for your suffering, not mine. Three. 2245 03:10:28.959 --> 03:10:35.280 I consciously choose You and you consciously choose Me. Nobody forces us to be 2246 03:10:35.360 --> 03:10:41.719 together. We do it because we want to. Four. I know myself 2247 03:10:41.760 --> 03:10:46.360 through YOU and you know You through me. Our relationship is a game of 2248 03:10:46.399 --> 03:10:52.040 mirrors and projections where we are reflected. Five, I learn from you and 2249 03:10:52.079 --> 03:10:58.399 you learn from me. We are opposed and complementary. Conflict is what makes 2250 03:10:58.440 --> 03:11:05.120 us grow, mature and evolve, developing our full potential. Six, you 2251 03:11:05.159 --> 03:11:09.799 don' t complete me, but you complement me. I don' t 2252 03:11:09.799 --> 03:11:13.799 complete you, I complement you. We' re not split orange stockings, 2253 03:11:15.440 --> 03:11:18.360 we' re whole oranges. Seven. I accept you as you are and 2254 03:11:18.440 --> 03:11:24.079 you accept me as I am. I don' t want to change you 2255 03:11:24.120 --> 03:11:28.760 and you don' t want to change me. We love each other just 2256 03:11:28.000 --> 03:11:33.520 as we are eight. I respect your freedom and you respect my freedom. 2257 03:11:33.639 --> 03:11:39.879 We live and let ourselves live honoring our individuality and uniqueness. Nine, I 2258 03:11:39.920 --> 03:11:45.799 communicate with you and you communicate with me. We speak with empathy and assertiveness, 2259 03:11:46.360 --> 03:11:52.200 reaching agreements and making commitments that benefit each other. Ten. I put 2260 03:11:52.239 --> 03:11:54.680 my well- being at the service of the relationship and you put yours. 2261 03:11:56.559 --> 03:12:00.639 We commit ourselves to watering the flower that is our couple relationship, creating the 2262 03:12:00.639 --> 03:12:05.920 conditions for it to grow healthy, strong and beautiful. This is the space 2263 03:12:05.000 --> 03:12:09.440 where women find a refuge to explore their personal growth, discover their inner beauty 2264 03:12:09.520 --> 03:12:16.639 and find the strength to overcome adversities. In each episode you will immerse yourself 2265 03:12:16.719 --> 03:12:20.799 in deep and inspired conversations that address issues such as personal development, motivation, 2266 03:12:22.399 --> 03:12:28.719 overcoming love breaks and education in adolescence. Join us as we explore the journey 2267 03:12:28.719 --> 03:12:35.440 of modern women, sharing valuable secrets, practical tips and enriching experiences that will 2268 03:12:35.520 --> 03:12:41.120 help you empower yourself, find your passion and discover your best version. Lily 2269 03:12:41.159 --> 03:12:46.040 ' s secrets are your constant companion on the road to a meaningful and fulfilling 2270 03:12:46.040 --> 03:13:15.239 life, tune in and discover the secrets to live the life you' ve 2271 03:13:15.239 --> 03:13:01.520 always dreamed of. S