WEBVTT

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Hello everyone, it's Robbie. A
fine solstice to you all. God it's

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so dark. I wanted to take
a moment during this time of giving for

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a shameless plug. We have made
it to the finals and the audio Verse

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Awards, and it would be really
wonderful if you would take just a few

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minutes to head over and give us
your vote for a little indie like us.

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Any kind of a win would be
really huge, especially as we are

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moving into a push to fund season
two. To that end, we will

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be airing a ten episode arc exclusive
to our Patreon set in nineteen ten America

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and London, starting in January.
One of the absolute joys of creating these

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stories for you all the way we
do week by week has been our ability

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to interact with take inspiration from so
many incredible, kind, creative patrons and

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friends on our discord. This episode, in fact, is brought to you

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by our patrons at our Dreamlanders,
mysterious benefactors and twisters of Fate Tears,

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Aaron k Lukzak, Jeff Wood,
Jenna Bradley, Jennifer Emery, Kelly Corey,

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Lee Kanaan, Noah Carter, deb
Knutson, Thanks Mom, Kate of

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the wonderful Just School with It Podcast, Katie Banfield, Noel, Abbi Klein,

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Abby Langdon Braxton, Powers, Katfrey
Dahmer, c J. Parker,

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Daniel Wood, Grace Daniels, Jasmine
Wood, Keighley, and Sarah Maria Murdoch.

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Your support means a lot to us. Some of these wonderful patrons even

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worked with us to fill some black
paper packages for Von Sid Pip Luca,

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Jinx the Cat and Olivia Beer's Weather
on a Snowy holiday Evening. Welcome to

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Ghost Wax, a foreign Tall Tales
production. The following story may contain graphic

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content. Listener discretion is advised.
A special gift, Good night for you?

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A gift? Wow, you really
went all out for decorations. Yeah,

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I don't want to think about my
electric bill next month. Oh is

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that my present? Yeah? You
want it now? No, it has

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to go under the tree first.
Don't be crass. I'll take it while

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you drop the rest of that off
in the kitchen. Okay, No,

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don't shake it too hard. Ooh
yeah, oh, I grab some more

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of those Italian sparkling water thingies that
you like. They're in the veggie drawer

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of the fridge. Effort vests.
Oh, you're the best. You're gonna

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damage it. Okay, there,
these are now officially Christmas presents. Is

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that something your family does put presents
under the tree before opening them? Only

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when I was really young, we
didn't do much for Christmas after Grammar Rose

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died. But I'm bringing it back. It is now a tradition that must

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be obeyed by all who enter this
apartment. Presence must be christened under greenery.

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Do you have any you want to
add. We didn't celebrate Christmas in

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my house, or any holiday for
that matter, or anything at all,

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so I don't have any traditions to
contribute. Oh well, then you can

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start a new one. A new
one. Yeah, you pick something for

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us to do, and we make
it a Christmas tradition. What do you

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say? Okay? Okay, I
say that the oldest person in the room

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opens their present first. Okay.
I want to be mad at you for

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the way you said that, but
I'm gonna let it slide because I'm excited

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for presents. Oh, I guess
the oldest would actually be I mean,

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hell, he's the oldest living entity
on the planet. Should we wait for

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him? Oh? Right? Do
you think he's really going to come.

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I don't know his exact words were
he might drop by, but I couldn't

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tell if he was just being nice
or if he was actually interested. I

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was surprised you invited him at all. I know how you feel about keeping

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work in life separate. I felt
so bad, like I've never seen him

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at any of the Ardens parties during
the other holidays. I guess I don't

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know what he celebrates, if he
celebrates anything at all. But hated the

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idea of him sitting alone tonight.
I hope it's okay it is, and

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I agree he isn't the most social
person, but I do think he gets

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lonely sometimes. He hadn't been alone
in such a long time, and then

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suddenly he was kinda Still, if
he decides to come, he won't be

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upset. If we opened our presence
to each other already, I'd say go

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for it. Ee, it's a
rumba. Wait, this is my rooma?

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Why are you giving me my own
rumba? And when did you take

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my roomba? Like two weeks ago
you didn't notice. I did not well.

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I modified it. Now every time
it bumps into something, it will

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mutter curse words are you fucking kidding
me? Nope, Oh, this is

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the greatest thing ever angry cursing rumba. Thank you so much. Well,

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uh, hopefully it will make you
want to use it more. This is

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so cool. Oh shit, now
I feel bad. Yours isn't nearly this

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good. Are these Pokemon cards?
Yeah? You mentioned once how you used

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to watch the neighborhood kids play with
them, but your parents wouldn't get you

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any and I thought it's stupid.
No, thank you. They're perfect,

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but it's look old. We had
a ten dollars limit garage sales. Baby,

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is it messed up to use your
supernatural foresight to know where they're really

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sick? Garage? And the state
skills are gonna be? Yes? I

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love them? Yay, Okay,
I'm gonna do you think that? Santaugh?

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Not quite? Oh, I brought
Jinks. Say hello Jinks, Hi

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buddy, Come in and make yourselves
at home. There's food and drink to

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share in the kitchen, and pizza
will be here in a little bit.

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I can take your coat. We
were just about to start some movies.

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Thank you. What are you both
wearing sweaters? They are quite festive?

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They're hideous. We know then Why
are you wearing them? Because it's fun.

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It's festive here there voila. You
put a bow on my shirt.

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Now you have one too. How
about it, Jenks, you want in

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on this ugly action? Here you
go there, Now we're all official.

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I see well, thank you for
having us. It is nice to get

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out of the ardent after a day
like today. I have to exercise a

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cleaved, fine soul that had been
no. Sorry, it's just the house

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rule. House rule. When we're
up here in the apartment, there's no

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work talk allowed. It helps to
have a space for your demons and monsters

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where we can just relax tonight.
The only ghosts I want to hear about

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are the brothers Marley from the Christmas
Carol. That is an excellent idea.

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I will be happy to respect your
rule. However, wasn't there only one

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Marley in Charles Dickens classic tale,
not in the Muppet version? What is

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a Muppet best day ever? But
we're getting ahead of ourselves. The first

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movie on the Christmas binge docket is
everyone's favorite, die Hard. Keep telling

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you. Die Hard is not a
Christmas movie. It's a movie that takes

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place at Christmas, and there is
a difference. It is the moving story

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of a man overcoming all obstacles to
be with his family at Christmas. I

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mean no, well yes, but
there are no themes that are uniquely Christmas.

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It could be any holiday and the
movie would be the same. Wanting

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to avoid an awkward yet required holiday
party is as uniquely Christmas as it gets.

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Besides, by that standard, Home
Alone doesn't count as a Christmas movie

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either. Now wait, is this
the one about the boy vanquishing the adult

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burglars? I'd like to see it. I like that mcculkin boy. Okay,

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well, now we have to watch
it. Gotta love the mcculcy.

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Oh before we get started, though, we have something for you. What

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is this? You're present? It's
from both of us. Why, I

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don't know what to say? Open
it? Open it. It is a

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mug World's Best Boss. You can
use it for coffee or just put pens

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in it. But this can't possibly
be true. There are many bosses who

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don't put their employees in mortal danger
nearly this often. Well it's true for

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us. I mean, you're the
only boss I've ever had, and Hit

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is their own boss at the shop. That woman is crazy for us.

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You're the world's best boss. I
don't know what to say. No one

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has ever given me anything like this
before. It's well, thank you,

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children. This means a great deal
to me and I will treasure it always.

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Don't worry, JINX, we didn't
forget about you. A pocket sized

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collection of the works of William Shakespeare
and a toy fish. We know you

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love to read. And the fish. Oh well, the fish is pretty

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self explanatory. This is all incredibly
thoughtful. I'm sorry I have not brought

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anything for you. That's fine.
We're just happy you came. Watching you

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watch our movies is all the gift
we need. Wait, I do have

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something I can give you. It's
not a tangible thing, I'm afraid,

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but I have a story, no, a secret. Perhaps I love secrets.

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I thought it might be something you'd
enjoy. Oh, you have to

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be under the tree, so it's
officially a present. Oh very well.

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Is this enough? Yes? Very
good? Well secret secret? Ah,

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oh very well, here is one. It's something on my mind anyways.

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I only allow myself to think about
it this time of year, as this

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is the time of year he left
us. During the snowstorm, we had

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a sun once a zem and I
his name was Adam. We loved him

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very much. When he left us, something of myself slipped into that snowstorm,

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and it opened up and spread across
the world. One night on Earth,

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it snowed everywhere. I was response
for a global snowfall, quite at

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an embarrassing blunder, but it was
beautiful at least, and everyone slept peacefully.

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Now, perhaps this was selfish,
very ghosh, to give a gift

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more for oneself than others. No, not at all, Yeah, thank

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you. It was a long while
ago. Now I do miss him.

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It's a good time of year for
missing people, that is true. But

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well, I thought you should know
since the two of you, well,

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this is all quite presumptuous of me, I am. That's probably well enough

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of that. Oh, Jink's got
you a present too. Since when does

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Jink's text its pictures? What is
this? Oh? Wait, wow?

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This this is one of the prettiest
art deco theaters I've ever seen. What

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is this, jinx, he got
it for you the pictures? No,

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No, the theater like a trip. No, it's the thirteenth floor of

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the Ardent. Now, honestly,
he really shouldn't have we didn't have a

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thirteenth floor for a reason. It
will be haunted in no time. You

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got us a haunted mystery theater and
installed it in our workplace. That's amazing.

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You'll spoil them. That would be
the food delivery. Please let me

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go down and pay for it at
least. Oh we paid online. Well,

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then let me give the doorman a
ludicrous tip. I feel very outgifted.

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Oh my god, did you know
he had a son? No,

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he's never said anything. I guess
kind of floored. That was really personal.

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Wow, this time of year,
man, I have returned with the

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pizza and several other things. Hello
all happy Solstice? Oh, oh my

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god, Hello Olivia. I mean
MS Beer's weather. Uh, Master Beer's

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Weather. What is everything? Okay? I do love that when people see

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me they assume the worst. How
do you think I feel when I arrive

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everyone assumes they've died. Nothing is
wrong necessarily. Well, I don't love

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the sound of that. We have
been selected for gifts from the Benefactor.

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What these black paper packages arrived for
us this evening. It's best not to

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keep the benefactor waiting? What is
this? What's happening? Ones were before

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you started with us? It was
bad. I don't suppose there's anything for

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it? What is the benefactor?
They won't tell me. They don't like

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to be discussed. Do you have
a rule on gift recipients? The uh,

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the oldest, of course? Well, nothing for it? Then it's

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it's a small portrait. I oh
my, yes, there are those eyes.

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I had forgotten. What a warm
smile he had? I oh,

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adam, he he was so beautiful. This this is how he was.

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I wish I had gone to see
him grow old. There you see,

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the gifts are not necessarily full of
doom, though I do feel quite a

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keen pain. It's of the pleasant
kind that would make me next. Oh,

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I suppose you're right. Jinx got
one. Of course it's fish.

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Well that's nice, not not evilfish. The fish isn't like his brother,

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right, just some nice boneless fish
meat. Huh? Now me, how

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are you just barreling ahead like this? I want to go hide. But

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we've grown used to it. The
benefactor has always been with us. Ah.

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Well, I appears to be a
Blu Ray Digital versatile disc of the

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film Home Alone. Oh wonderful?
What is happening? Oh? Fuck?

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That's eerie? Okay and less horrified
than when this started. I oh,

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no way, they're perfect, a
perfect match tarot cards, the exact tarot

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cards that got wrecked by well by
my blood all over them. This makes

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my antique family set complete again.
Look look at the coloring and the wear

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matches perfectly. Why were you all
freaked out? Are these like cursed monkeys

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paw gifts? Are these cards like
covered in diarrhea, poison or something?

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No, no, let's not talk
of that now. Suffice to say they

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are as they appear to be,
but they are not always this kind.

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So mine's a bomb? Right?
That has happened? Olivia, No,

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no doubt. Just go ahead and
open it. We are here with you.

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We won't let you come to harm. I really don't want to.

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Oh fuck, I just pete a
little go ahead, Luca, Hello,

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Alden where Yeah, yeah, I'm
glad. I yeah, I know it.

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It was a friend. I haven't
haven't been able to talk to you

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in a long time. What what
did he say? He just said he

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was Okay, four non horrific gifts
in a row. That might be your

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record. Well, we certainly dodged
the proverbial bullet there. Very good.

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I'll let you continue your evening before
your pizza congeals any further. Happy Solstice.

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Wait, you should stay, but
I wouldn't want to intrude. I'm

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00:20:19.759 --> 00:20:26.839
not sure it's up to you,
respectfully. This benefactor, monster guy gave

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00:20:26.880 --> 00:20:30.480
you a movie. It probably wants
you to watch it. What if the

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00:20:30.519 --> 00:20:36.480
tape is evil? You shouldn't watch
it alone? Right, She's right,

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00:20:36.519 --> 00:20:40.039
you should stay and watch it with
us. It's literally the movie we talked

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00:20:40.039 --> 00:20:44.960
about watching before you got here.
That can't be a coincidence. It's true

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we discussed mcculkin just before you arrived. Very well, do we have popped

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corn? We do. God's bless
us everyone. Why did you say that

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seemed appropriate? You bi kaye,
motherfucker. Thank you for listening to Ghostwax,

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a production of Foreign Tall Tales.
Find us at Farigntalltales dot squarespace dot

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00:21:19.599 --> 00:21:25.359
com. Ghostwax is an independent podcast, so if you'd liked the show,

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00:21:25.680 --> 00:21:30.799
please rate and review and consider joining
us on Patreon at Patreon dot com.

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00:21:30.839 --> 00:21:34.519
Slash Far and Tall Tales. Also
give a listen to our fantasy roleplay show

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could Have been Heroes for something completely
different. Ghostwax is written and directed by

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Robert Kannutsen, Production and editing by
Aaron Schrock. Our theme song is by

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Bo Hoover. This episode features Robert
Kannutsen as von Sid, Aaron Schenck as

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Luca, Stephanie Olsen as pip HJ. Raider as Olivia, and portion the

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cat as cheeks