Hello everyone, it's Robbie. A fine solstice to you all. God it's
so dark. I wanted to take a moment during this time of giving for
a shameless plug. We have made it to the finals and the audio Verse
Awards, and it would be really wonderful if you would take just a few
minutes to head over and give us your vote for a little indie like us.
Any kind of a win would be really huge, especially as we are
moving into a push to fund season two. To that end, we will
be airing a ten episode arc exclusive to our Patreon set in nineteen ten America
and London, starting in January. One of the absolute joys of creating these
stories for you all the way we do week by week has been our ability
to interact with take inspiration from so many incredible, kind, creative patrons and
friends on our discord. This episode, in fact, is brought to you
by our patrons at our Dreamlanders, mysterious benefactors and twisters of Fate Tears,
Aaron k Lukzak, Jeff Wood, Jenna Bradley, Jennifer Emery, Kelly Corey,
Lee Kanaan, Noah Carter, deb Knutson, Thanks Mom, Kate of
the wonderful Just School with It Podcast, Katie Banfield, Noel, Abbi Klein,
Abby Langdon Braxton, Powers, Katfrey Dahmer, c J. Parker,
Daniel Wood, Grace Daniels, Jasmine Wood, Keighley, and Sarah Maria Murdoch.
Your support means a lot to us. Some of these wonderful patrons even
worked with us to fill some black paper packages for Von Sid Pip Luca,
Jinx the Cat and Olivia Beer's Weather on a Snowy holiday Evening. Welcome to
Ghost Wax, a foreign Tall Tales production. The following story may contain graphic
content. Listener discretion is advised. A special gift, Good night for you?
A gift? Wow, you really went all out for decorations. Yeah,
I don't want to think about my electric bill next month. Oh is
that my present? Yeah? You want it now? No, it has
to go under the tree first. Don't be crass. I'll take it while
you drop the rest of that off in the kitchen. Okay, No,
don't shake it too hard. Ooh yeah, oh, I grab some more
of those Italian sparkling water thingies that you like. They're in the veggie drawer
of the fridge. Effort vests. Oh, you're the best. You're gonna
damage it. Okay, there, these are now officially Christmas presents. Is
that something your family does put presents under the tree before opening them? Only
when I was really young, we didn't do much for Christmas after Grammar Rose
died. But I'm bringing it back. It is now a tradition that must
be obeyed by all who enter this apartment. Presence must be christened under greenery.
Do you have any you want to add. We didn't celebrate Christmas in
my house, or any holiday for that matter, or anything at all,
so I don't have any traditions to contribute. Oh well, then you can
start a new one. A new one. Yeah, you pick something for
us to do, and we make it a Christmas tradition. What do you
say? Okay? Okay, I say that the oldest person in the room
opens their present first. Okay. I want to be mad at you for
the way you said that, but I'm gonna let it slide because I'm excited
for presents. Oh, I guess the oldest would actually be I mean,
hell, he's the oldest living entity on the planet. Should we wait for
him? Oh? Right? Do you think he's really going to come.
I don't know his exact words were he might drop by, but I couldn't
tell if he was just being nice or if he was actually interested. I
was surprised you invited him at all. I know how you feel about keeping
work in life separate. I felt so bad, like I've never seen him
at any of the Ardens parties during the other holidays. I guess I don't
know what he celebrates, if he celebrates anything at all. But hated the
idea of him sitting alone tonight. I hope it's okay it is, and
I agree he isn't the most social person, but I do think he gets
lonely sometimes. He hadn't been alone in such a long time, and then
suddenly he was kinda Still, if he decides to come, he won't be
upset. If we opened our presence to each other already, I'd say go
for it. Ee, it's a rumba. Wait, this is my rooma?
Why are you giving me my own rumba? And when did you take
my roomba? Like two weeks ago you didn't notice. I did not well.
I modified it. Now every time it bumps into something, it will
mutter curse words are you fucking kidding me? Nope, Oh, this is
the greatest thing ever angry cursing rumba. Thank you so much. Well,
uh, hopefully it will make you want to use it more. This is
so cool. Oh shit, now I feel bad. Yours isn't nearly this
good. Are these Pokemon cards? Yeah? You mentioned once how you used
to watch the neighborhood kids play with them, but your parents wouldn't get you
any and I thought it's stupid. No, thank you. They're perfect,
but it's look old. We had a ten dollars limit garage sales. Baby,
is it messed up to use your supernatural foresight to know where they're really
sick? Garage? And the state skills are gonna be? Yes? I
love them? Yay, Okay, I'm gonna do you think that? Santaugh?
Not quite? Oh, I brought Jinks. Say hello Jinks, Hi
buddy, Come in and make yourselves at home. There's food and drink to
share in the kitchen, and pizza will be here in a little bit.
I can take your coat. We were just about to start some movies.
Thank you. What are you both wearing sweaters? They are quite festive?
They're hideous. We know then Why are you wearing them? Because it's fun.
It's festive here there voila. You put a bow on my shirt.
Now you have one too. How about it, Jenks, you want in
on this ugly action? Here you go there, Now we're all official.
I see well, thank you for having us. It is nice to get
out of the ardent after a day like today. I have to exercise a
cleaved, fine soul that had been no. Sorry, it's just the house
rule. House rule. When we're up here in the apartment, there's no
work talk allowed. It helps to have a space for your demons and monsters
where we can just relax tonight. The only ghosts I want to hear about
are the brothers Marley from the Christmas Carol. That is an excellent idea.
I will be happy to respect your rule. However, wasn't there only one
Marley in Charles Dickens classic tale, not in the Muppet version? What is
a Muppet best day ever? But we're getting ahead of ourselves. The first
movie on the Christmas binge docket is everyone's favorite, die Hard. Keep telling
you. Die Hard is not a Christmas movie. It's a movie that takes
place at Christmas, and there is a difference. It is the moving story
of a man overcoming all obstacles to be with his family at Christmas. I
mean no, well yes, but there are no themes that are uniquely Christmas.
It could be any holiday and the movie would be the same. Wanting
to avoid an awkward yet required holiday party is as uniquely Christmas as it gets.
Besides, by that standard, Home Alone doesn't count as a Christmas movie
either. Now wait, is this the one about the boy vanquishing the adult
burglars? I'd like to see it. I like that mcculkin boy. Okay,
well, now we have to watch it. Gotta love the mcculcy.
Oh before we get started, though, we have something for you. What
is this? You're present? It's from both of us. Why, I
don't know what to say? Open it? Open it. It is a
mug World's Best Boss. You can use it for coffee or just put pens
in it. But this can't possibly be true. There are many bosses who
don't put their employees in mortal danger nearly this often. Well it's true for
us. I mean, you're the only boss I've ever had, and Hit
is their own boss at the shop. That woman is crazy for us.
You're the world's best boss. I don't know what to say. No one
has ever given me anything like this before. It's well, thank you,
children. This means a great deal to me and I will treasure it always.
Don't worry, JINX, we didn't forget about you. A pocket sized
collection of the works of William Shakespeare and a toy fish. We know you
love to read. And the fish. Oh well, the fish is pretty
self explanatory. This is all incredibly thoughtful. I'm sorry I have not brought
anything for you. That's fine. We're just happy you came. Watching you
watch our movies is all the gift we need. Wait, I do have
something I can give you. It's not a tangible thing, I'm afraid,
but I have a story, no, a secret. Perhaps I love secrets.
I thought it might be something you'd enjoy. Oh, you have to
be under the tree, so it's officially a present. Oh very well.
Is this enough? Yes? Very good? Well secret secret? Ah,
oh very well, here is one. It's something on my mind anyways.
I only allow myself to think about it this time of year, as this
is the time of year he left us. During the snowstorm, we had
a sun once a zem and I his name was Adam. We loved him
very much. When he left us, something of myself slipped into that snowstorm,
and it opened up and spread across the world. One night on Earth,
it snowed everywhere. I was response for a global snowfall, quite at
an embarrassing blunder, but it was beautiful at least, and everyone slept peacefully.
Now, perhaps this was selfish, very ghosh, to give a gift
more for oneself than others. No, not at all, Yeah, thank
you. It was a long while ago. Now I do miss him.
It's a good time of year for missing people, that is true. But
well, I thought you should know since the two of you, well,
this is all quite presumptuous of me, I am. That's probably well enough
of that. Oh, Jink's got you a present too. Since when does
Jink's text its pictures? What is this? Oh? Wait, wow?
This this is one of the prettiest art deco theaters I've ever seen. What
is this, jinx, he got it for you the pictures? No,
No, the theater like a trip. No, it's the thirteenth floor of
the Ardent. Now, honestly, he really shouldn't have we didn't have a
thirteenth floor for a reason. It will be haunted in no time. You
got us a haunted mystery theater and installed it in our workplace. That's amazing.
You'll spoil them. That would be the food delivery. Please let me
go down and pay for it at least. Oh we paid online. Well,
then let me give the doorman a ludicrous tip. I feel very outgifted.
Oh my god, did you know he had a son? No,
he's never said anything. I guess kind of floored. That was really personal.
Wow, this time of year, man, I have returned with the
pizza and several other things. Hello all happy Solstice? Oh, oh my
god, Hello Olivia. I mean MS Beer's weather. Uh, Master Beer's
Weather. What is everything? Okay? I do love that when people see
me they assume the worst. How do you think I feel when I arrive
everyone assumes they've died. Nothing is wrong necessarily. Well, I don't love
the sound of that. We have been selected for gifts from the Benefactor.
What these black paper packages arrived for us this evening. It's best not to
keep the benefactor waiting? What is this? What's happening? Ones were before
you started with us? It was bad. I don't suppose there's anything for
it? What is the benefactor? They won't tell me. They don't like
to be discussed. Do you have a rule on gift recipients? The uh,
the oldest, of course? Well, nothing for it? Then it's
it's a small portrait. I oh my, yes, there are those eyes.
I had forgotten. What a warm smile he had? I oh,
adam, he he was so beautiful. This this is how he was.
I wish I had gone to see him grow old. There you see,
the gifts are not necessarily full of doom, though I do feel quite a
keen pain. It's of the pleasant kind that would make me next. Oh,
I suppose you're right. Jinx got one. Of course it's fish.
Well that's nice, not not evilfish. The fish isn't like his brother,
right, just some nice boneless fish meat. Huh? Now me, how
are you just barreling ahead like this? I want to go hide. But
we've grown used to it. The benefactor has always been with us. Ah.
Well, I appears to be a Blu Ray Digital versatile disc of the
film Home Alone. Oh wonderful? What is happening? Oh? Fuck?
That's eerie? Okay and less horrified than when this started. I oh,
no way, they're perfect, a perfect match tarot cards, the exact tarot
cards that got wrecked by well by my blood all over them. This makes
my antique family set complete again. Look look at the coloring and the wear
matches perfectly. Why were you all freaked out? Are these like cursed monkeys
paw gifts? Are these cards like covered in diarrhea, poison or something?
No, no, let's not talk of that now. Suffice to say they
are as they appear to be, but they are not always this kind.
So mine's a bomb? Right? That has happened? Olivia, No,
no doubt. Just go ahead and open it. We are here with you.
We won't let you come to harm. I really don't want to.
Oh fuck, I just pete a little go ahead, Luca, Hello,
Alden where Yeah, yeah, I'm glad. I yeah, I know it.
It was a friend. I haven't haven't been able to talk to you
in a long time. What what did he say? He just said he
was Okay, four non horrific gifts in a row. That might be your
record. Well, we certainly dodged the proverbial bullet there. Very good.
I'll let you continue your evening before your pizza congeals any further. Happy Solstice.
Wait, you should stay, but I wouldn't want to intrude. I'm
not sure it's up to you, respectfully. This benefactor, monster guy gave
you a movie. It probably wants you to watch it. What if the
tape is evil? You shouldn't watch it alone? Right, She's right,
you should stay and watch it with us. It's literally the movie we talked
about watching before you got here. That can't be a coincidence. It's true
we discussed mcculkin just before you arrived. Very well, do we have popped
corn? We do. God's bless us everyone. Why did you say that
seemed appropriate? You bi kaye, motherfucker. Thank you for listening to Ghostwax,
a production of Foreign Tall Tales. Find us at Farigntalltales dot squarespace dot
com. Ghostwax is an independent podcast, so if you'd liked the show,
please rate and review and consider joining us on Patreon at Patreon dot com.
Slash Far and Tall Tales. Also give a listen to our fantasy roleplay show
could Have been Heroes for something completely different. Ghostwax is written and directed by
Robert Kannutsen, Production and editing by Aaron Schrock. Our theme song is by
Bo Hoover. This episode features Robert Kannutsen as von Sid, Aaron Schenck as
Luca, Stephanie Olsen as pip HJ. Raider as Olivia, and portion the
cat as cheeks