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Parker dot edu, Parker dot edu. You're listening to the Downbeat on ninety
seven to one, the freak apologies that we don't have the downbeat singing calculators
ready to go for tax day today? Did you guys do your taxes?
I don't know. Oh no, that is a tough one. That's kind
of not a great answer. Did you file for the extension? At least
everyone needs a good extension. What do we have until sundown? You do
your taxes yet I don't know. Well, I'm actually doing with the guy
you emailed me. Yeah, the great Rob Baines. He's the best.
So I send him all my stuff and then that, yeah, that's it,
he's got you. He will Okay, good because I know like today
do don't you have some friends that are tax people. Yeah, what's the
word accountants? Tax accountants, certified public accountants. This is their super Bowl
swamped last month. If he doesn't have time to like send you a text
to go, hey, got everything looks good? Exactly. You just get
your return back and the direct deposit shows up in your account and you're I
didn't give him my bank account info. It's what a bad sign he would
get with you on that? What if my kind of typo in the email
too? So it really Mike thinks he sent it over, but it didn't.
Don't worry, And I sent it to Rob baronas insteads Yeah, I
said to Rob Ross and he's just f with me like, yeah, I
got him, looks good, thanks Rod. So I'm assuming he yeah,
he's he's still take it from me. I didn't want to whip him with
an email like, hey, sorry, I know I'm new with you and
I wasn't easy. I wasn't you weren't easy to deal with. Well,
but I just took a while to get I need all your tax statements from
the last year. I need your watch, your home like, all this
stuff I can't find. I'm disorganized. Yeah, I'm not dealing with mine
until what is it October? Your taxes till you're on the six month extension
plan. Yes, it's incredible, given them my damn money until I absolutely
have to, really, yeah, in case something happens to you, because
you do a lot of self employment. Does music vounder self employment? It's
the amount of documentation that I have to submit. Yeah, Like I've got
a folder just for twenty twenty three of just random things, random stuff too
or no, yeah, all of that and music stuff, music stuff,
bar stuff, publishing stuff, just so much nonsense. And it's not even
enough to even it's not enough to make it even matter, but enough,
like fiscally financially for me, but it's enough that I have to account for.
And then you know there's whatever your mortgage stuff that you get all those
I mean just so many little things that I'm just like, I don't want
to say every year because of all the self employment stuff. Yeah, you
pay money, you don't get a return. I've hardly ever in the last
ten years gotten gotten money on my return. I'm always paying a good self
apployment tax sucks. They come and get you. If you don't work for
a corporation, they come and get you. But you do work for a
corporate, absolutely. But if any other money that I make, yeap,
because he's probably just taken straight cash from that, then yeah, you forget
to set aside whatever the twenty five to forty that should be taken out and
then they K nine you at the end of the year for that stuff and
you got to pay on it. Just a dog your house to bite you.
Kevin is a K nine I guess, or whatever it's called. That
K two German shepherd's here. Just hello, sir, I'm sorry. Eat
the foot, don't let him in. Don't tell them out here. My
feet are out. Nothing's gonna happen to you before October. Dude, you're
not flying over the Atlantic. I fine, You're gonna be fine. But
for those of us that are flying over the Atlantic. Probably a good year
to not file your taxes. Yeah, man, I did it. It's
good not to worry about I like not having to think about it, get
ahead of it. I know you think no one care. In February I
might have an argument, but tomorrow. Most important thing you have to tell
us about your adventure? Really? Yeah, I don't care. Those are
my least one of my least favorite segments. Vacation talk. Yeah, well,
I guess pre vacation talk. Yeah. I don't need pre vacation when
I get back. Yeah, cool stuff happened. Absolutely, I won't.
I want to know where you're going. Your plan is your adventure. I
know nothing I go and I'm I've made no plans. Do you believe him?
I kind of do. Well, Who's he's terrible? That means roxy
has to do everything and he's just like, I'm so busy. Oh just
where are we going? Now? That must be nice? Just take the
up, beare feet up? This sounds like weaponized incompetence. Okay, there's
a show nicknames very good. Keep that in mind, right, How do
they learn about duvets? How are we supposed to know what a duvet is?
Yeah? Live my entire life. What was this debate? Duve?
What do I put in it? Why is this my responsibility? Hot women?
What a duvet is? How do we miss that? Are you talking
about bidets? No, douve? Do you know what a douve? What
a is? But that's not all that confusing? Did you know compared to
a bidday? What did you learn at fifteen? I don't know when I
learned what a duvet was? Not before you you ever involved with the woman,
That's when he learned. Right? There might be an argument that I
still don't know exactly what to dovey cover right? Yeah? Is it the
thing that covers over your blanket, like you cover your blanket in that?
Yeah, you slide your comfort inside the duvet? Who knew what that was?
We did without being involved with a woman. Okay, don't lie,
Danny. You knew what a duvet was no before a woman told me what
it was? Yes? How did they learn? What school did they go
to to learn that? Their moms? The moms, the moms, the
moms told them doing it tomorrow? Yeah, don't want to. I have
a lot of questions, and so does Mikey. I mean, this is
your first trip to Europe. This is a significant thing. Okay, we'll
do when I get back. And there are people listening who either aspire to
go to Europe or want to go to Italy, and I think it's I
think it'll be fantastic content when we get back. Okay, I don't care
that much, So fine, it's just a coincidence. We'll talk about it
when I get back, and maybe tomorrow, but probably when I get back.
God, I swear it's like talking to Trump. We'll talk about it
when I get back. Maybe tomorrow, nobody knows. Now, let's do
it. Now, Just do Gettysburg. Danny really wants us to play Gettysburg.
I just think this is a really funny lesson in history. All right,
here's the Trump campaign. We're in Schnecksville, Pennsylvania. You guys have
been to nap Schnecksville Ville. We go, Maddie, can you crick up
my audio? Please? Sorry? Yeah? Where our union with say fy
the immortal Heroes at Gettysburg. Gettysburg. What an unbelievable battle that was the
Battle of Gettysburg. What an unbelievable I mean, it was so much and
so interesting and so vicious and horrible and so beautiful in so many different ways.
It represented such a big portion of the success of this country. Gettysburg.
Wow, I go to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to look and to watch and
the statement of Roberty Lee, who's no longer in favor? Did you ever
notice that no longer in favor? Never fight uphill me boys, Never fight
uphill. They were fighting uphill. He said, Wow, that was a
big mistake. He lost his great general and they were fighting. Never fight
uphill me boys. But it was too late. That's the new four score
and seven years ago. Hadn't never fight uphill me boys. He often goes
just to watch, oh, and look to watch and look. Wow,
so vicious, so horrific and beautiful. It would be hard to get caught
on a live bike and just have a history lesson sprung on you. He
was going to Was he in Gettysburg or just near it? Near it?
One of these weird Nexville, Pennsylvania. Well that's always good to hear from
the great orator. Yeah, just a few months for the election. That's
why it's important audio. And if I could understand anything of what Biden said
in the last seven days, I would have pulled that and played that too,
equal shots. Boom boom. All right, we'll move on. Why
am I get tweets about the Reality Steve podcast? Okay? Uh? Ryan
Gosling was your host of SNL this week How was this weekend? This weekend?
How was Ryan Gosling? Yeah? I don't know. He laughed the
entire time. It's like Ryan Gosling a very underestimated the potency of his edible.
Right before Downbeat on SNL on Saturday, he was laughing at during every
skit, everyone, every single It was funny, though it was so much
breaking. I mean he was breaking. He was making everybody else break.
It was good, and they don't break too often. Yeah, they keep
it together pretty well. Man. Then there's one where the whole thing fell
apart and there's no audio to play from it because it's a visual. Is
a visual. Let's do weekend update though? Well set it up? Yeah,
I mean you got to tell the story. I mean the thing that
just completely knocked the entire show off course. Okay, yeah, yeah,
the Beavis and butt Heead bit. Basically, it's a news Nation Talented's like
when you were a little kid, It's the crap your parents would watch that
you would just God like Meet the Press one of those shows. So it's
a town hall and Keenan Thompson is talking about AI and he's being interviewed and
the camera goes back and forth to them, and sitting behind the interviewer is
Ryan Gosling. But he looks exactly like Beavis. He's wearing the little shorts,
he's got a T shirt that says Death Rock, and his hair is
that weird blonde pompadour that's going straight up in the air and he's but he's
just a dude. I Death Rock, but he's just a dude. Like
he doesn't sound like Beavis at all. And Keenan cannot focus and he's like
kind of she generally look turn and look at him, but she moves him.
Okay, So then Beavis moves to the center and now there's an empty
seat, and then keep going and answering the questions and then sitting down in
that empty chair, here comes butt Head and it's Micky Day and he's got
something in his mouth that's made his lip go up. He did some prosthetic,
so it's like he's got the hair lift up top and his gums are
showing and it is so funny, and Kevin is I think this is a
very astute observation is they probably did this in rehearsal and they're not wearing the
outfits. So when Heidi turns around to look at Beavis and then butt Head,
it's her first time seeing them and she cannot keep it together. Amazing.
I'm looking at a picture of that forty seconds of just because T shirt
that says skull skull. They're like, I'm sorry, I don't know what
the deal is. I'm just here to learn about AI. Yeah, they
talk like normal men. No, no, all, although they did make
them laugh and then they kind of both went he laughed. They laughed like
him too. Keithan goes, they're sitting like they do on the cartoon and
they've got their hands on their knees. That's so funny. And they're like,
we don't even I've never seen this show. I've never even heard of
it. It was tremendous, pretty good. So you go to the weekend
update. Michael ja is doing a joke here about women's sports, which he
often does. Here we go Thursday of Iowa announced that basketball star Caitlyn Clark
will have her jersey retire and replaced with an apron. Well the w NBA
Draft. The w NBA Draft is this Monday, and Iowa star Caitlin Clark
is expected to be the number one pick. Here the comic is Caitlyn Clark,
and it's her. Okay, but nothing for my joke. Whatever.
I am a fan Caitlin by the way, really, Michael, because I
heard that little apron joke you did. Oh yeah, it was a joke.
We just having fun. You know, you make a lot of jokes
about women's sports, don't you, Michael. I wouldn't say a lot,
but you know it's not on the regular. Yeah, I know, it's
definitely a lot. I actually sort of made a super cut. Take a
look. Well, no, we don't have to do that. Sports bars
around the country are promising to only show women's basketball games during March Madness.
The bars are known collectively as the Empty Ones. Iowa's Final four game against
Yukon was the most watched women's college basketball game ever, with fourteen point two
million viewers, beating the previous record by fourteen point two million viewers. Why
calm with the receipts? Thanks man, No problem. You know, I'm
like chay, I support women whoa okay, so it's kind of fun.
He definitely knew she was gonna be there. I sprung on him, but
I do think he was He was cold reading her jokes. I think so.
And this is where she wrote jokes for me. He's just reading the
cards. So hold on. I think you're a great basketball player. I
mean I can't play like you do. Yeah, we know, and obviously
I can't tell jokes like you do. But I did write some jokes and
it would mean a lot to me if you read some of them just right
over there on the cards. Well, well, have the first pick in
this Monday's draft. A reminder that Indiana Fever is a w NBA team and
not what Michael Jake gave to dozens of women at for Junior University. Yeah
Netflix, his top new show was Ripley, featuring an eerie, unsettling performance
by actor Andrew Scott. Critics say it's the hardest thing to watch on Netflix
since Michael Ja's special Shame is Up. It's pretty good. Yeah bad,
And then she gave him a souvenir apron I can like them. Since you're
such a big fan, I brought you a souvenir. It's an apron signed
by me. Thank you. I can't wait to give this to my girlfriend.
You don't have a girlfriend. And she was clearly out of her element,
but she as far as when they bring in people that aren't used to
being on camera like that, she didn't really want there. Oh my god.
Yeah, but she was kind of like reading the you know, did
we have uniform on or regularly leather jacket on? Jay? Did have do
you have this one? Oh? Yeah? Jay had a news story that
and he issued a joke that was so dumb. But I laughed out loud,
and even Colin had a hard time recovering from it. It's it's not
even that funny. But I don't know what it was about this joke that
it hit me. President Biden met with Japan's Prime Minister where they discussed building
a new bullet train system in America using advanced Japanese technology and return Japan requested
the advanced American technology of forks. I knew her. It's just he's got
like Biden and a bullet train graphic in the background, and when he says
of forts and it's just a fork. It was so the timing of it
just kicked me. Man, the advanced technology knowledg of the fork like that's
yeah, it's like, that's the best thing that we have to offer Japan.
You guys are good at technology. How about getting rid of those two
sticks? You don't need the two sticks anymore. That's a Seinfeld bit,
right, He's like, n what's with the chopsticks? I mean, you've
seen the four. That's pretty good. Okay, right now you've seen the
four. It's the deal with the two sticks. Wait, now, Adroy's
care. We don't add the growing fake Jerry Senfield that goes up there with
fake John Hamm and fake Bobby McFerrin. He had a couple of last week.
That what an arsenal. We got to remember. Yeah, what an
arsenal I'm putting together. It is really weird that, Yeah, they stick
with the chops. Is it just tradition or culture? Culture? Tradition?
You know what it with football and beer? I think it's also about uh,
like you eat slower, which is good for you, which we don't
do. Yeah, we don't. Yeah, I eat slower. I got
food last night, never even made it to the couch, much less of
the table. I mean, I'm standing over a sint. I want the
Palmer's Hot Chicken. Not bad, yeah, yeah, not bad at all.
I'm not on board with this hot chicken revolution. I don't want any
spies. I don't like my chicken mean too thick? Thin. You don't
like mashed chicken? Yeah, you know, chicken smashed. Yeah, but
I don't know. It was about the sides. They have good sides.
Yeah, you know your chicken smashed like, you know, just beating down
a little bit thick. I don't like like a large chicken bread. It
flattened a chicken sandwich, you know, or something like that. Yeah,
you don't like a chicken sandwich, not if it's too thick, but it
smashed chicken sandwiches. Yeah, it's thin. Someone did ask is Kevin gonna
eat European foods on his vacation? Obviously you are many. Yeah, absolutely,
I will say this. I was. We did a long one in
Italy, and about ten days in I said that I've had enough Italian.
Yeah, I know Italian. You might have come back about ten to twelve
pounds larger. Yeah, no, you are, because I didn't even know
that I was doing that, and I did gain about a dozen pounds for
real, I'm ready for it, and it was worth it, delicious,
But I was just like, all right, let's mix it up. Yeah,
I have a ton of other options. I told I told Roxy this.
The gas station food in Italy is amazing. They have petrol stations and
you stop in there and there's like beautiful like sandwiches like buffo letta muzzarella sandwich.
Oh delicious and cheaper than you're gonna you know, you're gonna peel off
one hundred every step you take. But yeah, eat at gas stations.
Have they gone full euro in Italy? Or are they still working the lira?
No? It was euro? Should I do that? Change? Now?
Should I find a doe at the airport when you get there? Yeah?
Here, you can do it here at the airport because you're gonna get
their way early because you're already panicking for an international flight and you'll have time.
There'll be money exchange, a couple hundred bucks and if I recall,
yeah, you didn't get that much back and euros less than the or more
than the dollar. So I think I turned four hundred bucks and I don't
even know what it is. Is that the most is that the most affordable
place to get it done in the airport though, or the most expensive?
Okay, I want to shop around a little bit before you. Okay,
but you're already going to Europe. You're gonna get torched. I just wanted
to have it when I got there, and I didn't want to deal with
it when I got You can use your credit card over there, right,
yeah, okay, not a big deal. You got you got ax?
Uh no, Yeah, but you'll end up doing cash, like I said,
Like, well, I me guess you could maybe go all card.
I really don't know about. I called my bank and told them I'll be
out of town. There is some serious coinage over there too, Like you'll
buy something, you'll get a handful of coins and you're just trusting that they
gave you the right amount and you won't know what you're holding. So these
coins are worth like ten bucks. Yep, that's weird. I don't like
that. I'm trying to stay all digital, okay, Okay, Oh,
I'll get a SNL update because the SNL bet from our draft back in September.
Yeah, what's the status on all of them? Well, we're tied
at too, and they're gonna be off for two weeks, but then they
will have episodes on May fourth, May eleventh, and May eighteenth. That
will be the end of the season. And do we have announcements? We
tied it too. We each drafted a musical guest and a host, and
the announcement was made for the May fourth host and musical guests and the same
person were. I think Mikey got this right. Come on. In round
two of the draft, I went with Ryan Reynolds. Mikey chose Katy Perry,
and Danny chose Dua Lipa. Oh, she's hosting and musical guest him.
Two points for Danny clear. He is in the clear, probably because
du A Lipa is your next musical guest and host on May fourth. Two
points for Danny. That puts him at four. Me and Mike at two
with two episodes to play. I'm looking at my phone and it will not
look like a foot. Oh that's this one finally, Yeah, this is
this is the phone case. Get the foot phone case out of here.
A lot of feat pranks here. Well, we'll have Rex Ryan on tomorrow
for a whole hour. That's actually an NFL Draft preview. No, we
won't be doing that coming up next. Yesterday they played the Masters. They
finished it in AUGUSTA. I can't wait. And your winner was a fellow
that we all know too well. What happened next to ninety seven won the Freak