WEBVTT

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Super you are watching or listening to
Laura Kane after Dark the podcast, Thank

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you so much. We're going on
our fifth year doing this thing, and

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uh, we're not going to even
mention my co hosts attire just yet.

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Okay. If I didn't know better, i'd say you're gay or something.

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I feel like Liberaci. Okay,
Oh my god, Now I just gotta

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look at myself in the Okay,
let's do this first. Let's do Let's

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talk about Jay Wertzler for because he's
one of our fine sponsors. Then we'll

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talk about Lajoia Cosmetic. Okay.
Then I'll tell you why this is exists.

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Okay, I am. I know
you want to know, definitely want

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to And we're also going to get
a little update on this gentleman right here.

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I know you don't like me touching
the box. I won't touch the

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box. Stop touching you. I
know when I touch the box, Oh

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god forbid, I take it out
of a box. The box I didn't

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take I haven't done anything nothing.
If you take out the box death.

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No. But I could play with
it, No, you can't. That's

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what it's four. It's a toy. What's the point collecting it? So

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you have these big boxes everywhere in
your house that's like a collectible thing.

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Well, why didn't you just take
it out of the box and collect a

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little little guys? No, oh, okay, I'll yeahs off, lady.

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Okay, all right. So we
know a guy named j Wortz.

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He is awesome. He works for
Capital Growth, Inc. He's been doing

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this for thirty six years. Same
company, same building, same everything.

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But he is constantly learning his trade. Meaning there's a lot of times where

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when I'm when I'm contacting him for
something and he'll be like, oh,

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I'm at this conference or I'm at
that conference. So he's totally constantly upgrading

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his skills, and his skills are
managing your money. Absolutely. So he

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has a certain he's a certified financial
planner. He's a certified divorce financial analyst.

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He is a licensed life health,
long term care, and disability insurance

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agent. Did you know that he
is? Yes? I know. And

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here are his securities license licenses,
which I don't know what these mean,

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but I think they're super important.
Six seven, twenty four, sixty three

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and sixty five. I think that's
really important. It is, and that

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means that he knows everything about money
and how to manage it and how for

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you to be comfortable in your retire
And you want to retire someday, don't

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you. Yeah, well then they
get make your money work for you and

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call j Wurtzler at eight five eight
five five two six nine six zero and

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he will email you back if you
email him. He's a fast emailer and

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he's a really nice guy. He
is it's j A y at Capital Grow

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Oh no, j A y w
at Capital Growthinc. Dot com. If

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you would rather reach in through his
website, it's w w W dot Capital

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Growthink. Do we not have?
And you make email conversation about this the

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whole ww I know the HTTPS or
whatever We've got rid of that wwt W.

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I need to speak on to baby
steps. Came baby steps anyway?

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I have a little bit, just
give me come on. Is a website

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anyway? That is Jay Worstler's website, capitrow Thing. Oh okay, thank

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you so much. And now La
joya cosmetic surgery center in Medspa. I

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loved my experience when I went there
to get my breast augmentation. It was

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like two years ago now, best
thing I ever did for myself. Wish

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I would have done it sooner.
Nowhere better than the cosmetic the other night.

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They look so good. I know
I did, didn't I. You've

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seen them before. I showed you
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pretty darn good. They are.
They did a really good job. Here's

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and their special treatment planner. That's
glamfam dot com. Okay, as you

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can see, Eric has something sparkly
and weird on. This is a one

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piece outfit. I don't know.
Can you like? There? You go?

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Oh my god? Can you see
your Wait? Wait? Wait,

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let me see fight. You can
see your you know what kind of Okay,

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you better not like no, it's
not see outline a VP. You're

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not wearing under that right? Oh
my god, he doesn't wear Oh no

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no, I'll never well, I
would never wear that anyway. Where I

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want to? Where would you ever? Where? Now? Good question?

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Let me I have to start you
guys explaining to do I do? This

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is my host chap, So go
through that closet. Now, this is

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gonna this. I'm gonna start somewhere
and they're gonna be like, what this?

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What does this have to do with
this? But it's all comes back

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to this. So my when I
went to see my mom and my sister

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in Temecula when Charlie was here in
Evan. They have to see their grandmother.

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We meet in Temecula because that's halfway
between Rancho Cucamonga and San Diego.

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So my mom and sister were telling
me. My mom casually mentioned to my

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sister, I've always wanted to see
New Orleans. My mom's eighty two.

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She has her faculties. She's like
smart as a whip. She looks great.

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She's a little wobbly, she can't
walk too far, but my sister

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thought, you know what I'm gonna
I'm just gonna see how much this would

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be to take her on her last
trip really ever to New Orleans. So

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long story short, dude, dude, she got the tickets. They're going.

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Yes, there, she's my sister
is taking my mom to New I

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have goosebumps right now on the twenty
second of September. Oh my school,

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I've always wanted to go to New
Orleans. Oh see, I've been there

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many times because we used to have
our radio morning show boot Camp. It

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was a morning show throughout the country
would meet every year and have a big

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conference and would meet in New Orleans, and oh my god, would we

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get drunk. We would get wasted
because they have these things called hurricanes in

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a big glass. You can just
drink it on the street, Bourbon Street.

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You walk up and down and you
just get loaded, loaded, and

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it smells like piss and vomit.
But it's also very cool at the same

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time, delightful. Doesn't matter.
Do you just have a bad burp?

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Yeah? Oh no, Spicy one. Oh no, it's all right.

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It's still hitting yet they're still hit
Spicy one. Okay. So anyway,

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I'm thinking to myself, I asked
my sister. I said, is this

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just a you and mom thing?
Or if I managed to wing it or

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make it work, can I meet
you guys? Ericause, what am I

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ever going to be able to go
to another state with my mom again?

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Right? So? I thought,
Okay, think think think Laura, think

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think think. So I said,
I have a garage full of my old

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clothes. I have done nothing.
There's I sell some of them on posh

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Mark, But like you know,
like T shirts and sweatshirts, that's there's

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such little things. It's kind of
a pain in the ass to sell the

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small stuff. I have tons of
stuff. Plus I have other stuff that

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people have given me to give away. Long story short, My kitchen right

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now is full of all the clothes
that I'm going to sell at the Spring

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Valley Swap Meet on Saturday. Like
hotcakes. Now this particular item, So

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mebe there Spring Valley Swat Meat.
I'm selling a whole bunch of stuff.

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Yeah. Antonio, who lives here, he's one of my roommates. Had

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a girlfriend who had a bag of
clothes that she wanted to donate to the

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cause, and this piece was in
one of the bags. This was actually

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worn out by someone. This is
kind of like her style. So I

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when I saw this, I also
put it on because you can't help but

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want to put it on. I
see what it looks like. It's weird,

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right, I mean it's it's where
would you wear it to a club

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or to dinner? You wouldn't wear
this to dinner span showily. Oh,

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I don't even know. But the
funny thing is the fact that the knockers

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are covered right here with this big
gaping Yeah, so you can see see

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it's not real. It's just skin
colored. You can't really see, so

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you can't even see your wiener or
anything. I'm you're good, So we're

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good. Yeah. But anyway,
so this is one of the pieces I'm

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selling. Come on out Spring Valley
Swamp. You know what time I have

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to get there with the truck loaded
with all my crabs, set it all

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up, put it. I've I've
put everything in fifty cents, one dollar,

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three dollars, five dollars, and
then I'm hanging some things that still

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have tags on them. What is
this going for fifty cents? No,

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I think that I think that's five
dollars. Oh, I think this could

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go for five dollars. I might
even say ten. You might pay someone

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five dollars to take it. I
know, right, So I mean to

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get there's a great it's such a
great color on me. It is unique.

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I mean, it really washes me
out in the best way. I

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feel like you should post a picture, like you should print out a picture

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of like set like someone wearing it. Oh, do you want to take

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a picture of meat in it?
And then this is what you could look

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like in it? Absolutely and print
it out women, yeah, oh,

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and put it up on my okay, because you have to you rent.

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This is what I've I've never done
this before, a swap meat. But

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apparently you have to get there at
like four o'clock in the morning, and

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you wait in a line, and
then there's like a long line of people

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waiting to get in to sell their
crap, right, and you buy a

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space for I think it's like twenty
five bucks or something. So I might

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need two spaces or one space.
I don't know if there's like some furniture

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I have to sell too. Oh
is that horrible leopard chair going? No?

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But but oh is that going?
Oh? I don't know. I

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have kind of grown fond of it. My god, the egg chair that

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I recovered, Oh my god,
get that. It's kind of become a

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piece in my in my house that
I that I look out every day.

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So I might sell the egg chair
too. I don't know, it just

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depends. But anyway, that's why
all that stuff in my kitchen because I've

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been sorting and I hope to make
enough money to get to New Orleans.

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That's my goal so I can be
with my mom and my sister on the

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twenty second of September. Do you
think I can do it? Anybody?

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Do you believe in me? Yeah? I do? Thank you. Okay,

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that's my host chat and that's why
Eric is wearing that, because of

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course, of course he put that
on. Who are you texting my maintenance

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supervisor? Can you tell it?
Well, there's an emergency here? You're

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wearing that? Will you fill us
in on what's going on? Or is

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it? Probably? I guess there's
like a really big party that but you're

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not at work right now, I
know, so you are you like a

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twenty four seven type of worker where
they contact you? But I guess it's

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really out of so do we need
to call the police? Are you telling

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him to call the police. I
love this. Yeah, sorry, diving

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into Eric's professional affairs. Well,
no, he's doing this on the another

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job. Hello, this job that
pays the bills. Look at looking Look

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at how talented I am. You
are so multa crazy. All right,

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Wow, you're gonna well that thing? You know what? No, I

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can't sell that. Imagine if he
needs to take a ship from that pep

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that chip and he has to find
a way to either get out of that

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or just rip a hole. Why
can't you sell door? Why couldn't you

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sell the bull sweats all over it? There? You can't throw that in

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the washing machine. It has like
little sparkles all over it. Then I

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guess I just need to your your
What would you do? What would you

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do if I wore this home?
I would If you send us a video

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if you're shutting down that party wearing
that, I would, oh, one

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thousand percent. Let you What are
the chances of you wearing that home and

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walking through your Oh, where are
you going to walk through your apartment complex

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wearing that? Just dick bulging at
the semi transparent. Probably not no,

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because if you try to break up
the party wearing that They're gonna be like,

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hey, boys, you need to
shut that down now, and they'll

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be like, come on in,
look at you. You're ready at a

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party. I'm like, yeah,
all right, oh my god, now,

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yes, I'm gonna be bossy right
now. Huh. I like you

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haven't been before? And I know
I'm very I've been very bossy today.

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I'm sorry, But can we please, as your host chat I don't know

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what you were going to talk about, but can we get an update on

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this fella? Yes? Right here? I would be happy too. Okay,

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So how long ago? Was this? A month? Month, six

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weeks ago? I don't even know? Now? Is something is something still

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coming in the mail for me?
Is something happening with Keanu Reeves? Yes?

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Is it losing steam? Is it
gaining steam? Steam? Woo?

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00:14:56.440 --> 00:15:05.559
Gaining steam? As in that third
mic might be occupied gaining steam, possibly

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with this gentleman, possibly a larger
version of him, perhaps one next foot

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four version. Oh my god,
I want to date him. He's taken,

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00:15:20.879 --> 00:15:24.519
though I know he is. He
looks really happy if when he comes

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on the show. He seems like
the coolest, most chill guy ever.

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00:15:30.919 --> 00:15:35.600
But anyway, six one, wow, perfect, perfect, I can wear

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heels and stuff when we go out. Now I'm into It's like, you

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are this photograph. You received a
photograph from him, his camp, his

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people, or the person that you
know who knows him his camp Okay is

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agent? Oh okay, that's so
generic. Okay, it's a you can't

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00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:04.679
really let me see it up close, right, I'm coming over there.

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00:16:04.759 --> 00:16:11.519
It's a photo of him playing the
guitar with his band Dog Star last night.

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00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:15.639
Well, why isn't he in here
this today if he was here last

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night? Oh oh oh oh?
You know how long his band has been

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00:16:21.559 --> 00:16:29.960
around a long time since Okay,
when the Republican National Convention was down town.

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00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:33.679
This was nineteen ninety six. I
think his band was playing at Planet

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Hollywood, which used to be downtown. That's how that's how long he has

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00:16:37.679 --> 00:16:42.000
been in that band. I just
want to say, that picture is not

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00:16:42.120 --> 00:16:47.919
convincing at all, Crisis averted,
it's not I that's not impressive. He's

211
00:16:47.919 --> 00:16:51.559
not impressed. So what that picture
could have come from? Anything? It

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00:16:51.559 --> 00:16:53.919
could have come from anywhere about like, why are you showing us that picture?

213
00:16:55.799 --> 00:16:59.919
Because I got it last night from
his camp. I mean, look,

214
00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:03.119
okay, look at the picture.
So is this. Wait, which

215
00:17:03.160 --> 00:17:07.880
camp is this? Is this the
actor camp or is this his music camp?

216
00:17:08.920 --> 00:17:15.759
I would say, let's see somebody
involved in his public relations? So

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00:17:15.799 --> 00:17:21.160
it is pr person. Okay,
this is good. We're getting more nuggets

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00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:29.279
of information. Does Keano Reeves know
the name Laura Kane after Dark? Yes?

219
00:17:29.799 --> 00:17:36.279
Wow, that's a's cool. That's
okay, that's that's really great because

220
00:17:36.359 --> 00:17:41.799
you when you saw him and you
spoke directly to his face, you mentioned

221
00:17:41.799 --> 00:17:44.880
it. Yeah, well, of
course I'm so glad you did that.

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00:17:45.240 --> 00:17:55.359
And what on the twentieth of September. Yes, what Oh, this isn't

223
00:17:55.359 --> 00:17:57.440
about Keanu Reeves. But yes,
I'm saying, all right, we're going

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00:17:57.480 --> 00:18:03.920
to be hanging with our Jason Stewart. He's trying to uh veer away from

225
00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:07.240
I'm trying to I'm trying to whale
tale. He's not. He's trying to

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00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:10.960
veer away because obviously there's something that's
secretive that he can't say. Right,

227
00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:14.119
So, I don't think there is
anything secret. I think he just doesn't

228
00:18:14.119 --> 00:18:19.720
have anything else to say. I
he's looking pretty smug, Brian. He

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00:18:19.799 --> 00:18:26.240
always looks smug. Sometimes he looks
fake smug. This is real smug,

230
00:18:26.359 --> 00:18:30.319
all right, This is real smug. Well I'm waiting. So. Jason

231
00:18:30.359 --> 00:18:33.720
Stewart and Mitch Harra we've had on
the podcast several times throughout the years.

232
00:18:33.720 --> 00:18:38.319
They're hysterical, hysterical. Jason Stewart
is a comedian who also has a show

233
00:18:38.359 --> 00:18:45.240
on Amazon called Smothered with Mitch Harra. He's going to be performing at the

234
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La Joya comedy club on the twentieth
and we're going do you want to go

235
00:18:51.359 --> 00:18:57.200
on Tuesday? Yeah, it's like
a it's a school night, family outing,

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00:18:57.519 --> 00:19:03.319
Oh my god, this is eight, and then we can like it's

237
00:19:03.400 --> 00:19:06.799
September. That's a Wednesday, Oh
Wednesday? Okay, well anyway, still

238
00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:10.519
still night. I'll see what time
is. It's at eight? Yeah,

239
00:19:10.519 --> 00:19:11.920
I can make them come on.
Yeah, I can do. You're twenty

240
00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:15.319
three, you can do anything,
ready to you can you can stay up

241
00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:18.720
all night? No, I have
worked the next day. Some of us

242
00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:23.960
have a consistent job for us.
Hey, no, I meant that you're

243
00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:27.640
young enough where you can stay up
late and go to work. Ear okay,

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00:19:27.640 --> 00:19:30.359
all right? Fun fun, fun, fun, all right, I

245
00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:33.599
like it. I like it.
What's so, what's going on with the

246
00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:37.200
party? What happened? What you're
on the phone. Yes, it's been

247
00:19:37.319 --> 00:19:41.759
crisis has been reverted. How so
h it has been broken up? Oh

248
00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:47.359
bomber for somebody. Yea, they
wanted to have a pre Labor Day party

249
00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:49.240
and now it's gone. Yeah,
note to yourself, you can't have fun

250
00:19:49.279 --> 00:19:56.319
at Eric's apartment. Coma so only
let's not even eight o'clock. Ye broke

251
00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:00.480
up a part seven. Yeah,
he's like they were getting real control.

252
00:20:00.519 --> 00:20:06.039
We heard talking, I know right, we had we heard footsteps above Hawaiian

253
00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:11.359
anyway, all right, before we
get to we're playing the game. Would

254
00:20:11.400 --> 00:20:15.680
you rather the filthy version? Oh? Great? Okay, and I'm going

255
00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:19.240
to give you guys the rules to
the game. But we need to talk

256
00:20:19.279 --> 00:20:25.720
about first our sweet and wonderful Megan
Route from Milestone Properties, who I have

257
00:20:25.759 --> 00:20:30.200
a lunch date with this week because
we're going to talk about putting together some

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00:20:30.319 --> 00:20:36.920
kind of community event. We don't
know what it is yet, but this

259
00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:40.920
is how cool she is. This
is her idea. She wants the podcast

260
00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:44.319
and her to come together to get
like, you know, vendors out there,

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00:20:44.319 --> 00:20:47.119
like something really cool like that.
So we're going to talk about that.

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00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:51.640
But Megan Route from Milestone Properties is
a real estate agent she's a broker

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00:20:51.720 --> 00:20:55.839
two. She got her start in
nineteen ninety six, but she has had

264
00:20:56.079 --> 00:21:00.480
Milestone Properties her own company since two
thousand and four. It's not impossible to

265
00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:03.240
own a home in San Diego right
now. For sure. She's been through

266
00:21:03.559 --> 00:21:08.400
markets. She's been doing this long
enough where she's seen she's seen the down.

267
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She knows what's kind of gonna happen, and she knows how to fund

268
00:21:14.400 --> 00:21:18.319
you. If that's something that you're
having difficulty with. There are different ways

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00:21:18.359 --> 00:21:21.400
to do it, and she knows
how to do that. And she is

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the nicest person and she will.
She gives like a concierge type service.

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She does it all basically, and
she's so easy to talk to you,

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00:21:30.279 --> 00:21:33.079
super down to earth. I love
her. What is her phone number?

273
00:21:33.160 --> 00:21:37.079
Her phone number is six one nine
six five four six nine eight zero.

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00:21:38.240 --> 00:21:41.759
And if you'd like to email Megan, it's M. E. G.

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00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:48.039
A. N at Milestone PROPERTIESCA dot
com. All of that on Laura Kane

276
00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:52.039
after Dark dot com if you missed
it, and Milestone Properties helping California plant

277
00:21:52.119 --> 00:21:56.039
roots for almost thirty years. I
love it. He too. Now on

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00:21:56.079 --> 00:22:03.519
Saturday, I'm going to be doing
a walk. Oh no, wait,

279
00:22:03.559 --> 00:22:12.119
I can't do the swap meets.
Wait wait oh man, well m I

280
00:22:12.200 --> 00:22:15.599
know, I know. No.
I am seeing a walk on the ninth

281
00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:19.440
This walk and it's going to be
really fun. It's at Crown Point and

282
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it's for women's heart health. And
here's more about it. I want you

283
00:22:22.359 --> 00:22:26.039
to register and walk with me.
We want you to mark September ninth,

284
00:22:26.279 --> 00:22:32.279
Saturday on your calendar because we are
going to be walking for a great cause.

285
00:22:32.680 --> 00:22:37.519
The seventh Annual Scheddaddle for Research happens
at Crown Point at nine pm.

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00:22:37.839 --> 00:22:41.240
I will be the MC. Opening
ceremonies are at eight thirty eight m.

287
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:47.319
Register by August eighteenth to guarantee that
you get this year's T shirt. SCAD,

288
00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:52.279
or spontaneous coronary artery dissection, is
a little known cause of a heart

289
00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:56.000
attack. Most patients are young,
healthy and active women who do not have

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00:22:56.039 --> 00:23:00.759
a typical risk factor of heart disease. SCAD is the number one cause of

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00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:03.319
heart attacks and women under the age
of fifty. This is very important,

292
00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:10.279
so go to our website Loricane after
dark dot com to register. Everybody gets

293
00:23:10.279 --> 00:23:12.839
a metal. It's gonna be so
much fun. Lurcane after dark dot com

294
00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:18.519
look for the link. Stop it
so if you want to register seriously,

295
00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:21.799
it'd be really it's gonna be really
fun. You get a T shirt A

296
00:23:21.839 --> 00:23:26.119
metal It's awesome. Laurcane after dark
dot com. There's the link and put

297
00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:30.160
Laura five to get five dollars off
real quick, Eric, because your stomach

298
00:23:30.200 --> 00:23:32.960
starting to bother you at all a
little bit. I'm starting to get wet.

299
00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:37.079
It's rumbling a little bit. Yeah, it's getting a little like rumbling

300
00:23:37.160 --> 00:23:41.279
like you're hungry, or rumbling like
just like stuff's going on. Yeah,

301
00:23:42.759 --> 00:23:45.480
yeah, a little churning. I
don't feel bad, but I can tell

302
00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:49.640
that my stomach is dealing with something. It's a little sour. Either one

303
00:23:49.680 --> 00:23:55.200
of us rushed to the restroom.
You know why? Yeah, which end?

304
00:23:56.200 --> 00:24:00.240
Well, probably not both the front
Yeah, we're oh no, the

305
00:24:00.279 --> 00:24:03.359
bathrooms right there, and you need
to use that one. I'm using yours.

306
00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:07.599
My roommate's not the hair right now, I'm gonna use you don't know.

307
00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:14.160
You're not going upstairs. You are
not going upstairs. Absolutely, I'm

308
00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:19.279
good. It could it could hit
anytime you have. You've never done this

309
00:24:19.359 --> 00:24:23.599
before, so you have no idea. And you guys did pound some food

310
00:24:25.160 --> 00:24:30.359
we did. There's stuff in there
to be released. It's good. I

311
00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:33.319
know you didn't you had almond milk, which you liked, and it's gonna

312
00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:37.799
be good. It's gonna be released
in your upstairs bathroom. That's Trader Joe's

313
00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:38.839
Almond milk by the way. So
just so you know, I'm just so

314
00:24:38.880 --> 00:24:42.559
you know. Okay, we're gonna
play a quick game would you rather?

315
00:24:42.720 --> 00:24:47.640
I know I'm feeling like, oh
no, oh no, we need someone

316
00:24:47.680 --> 00:24:51.319
to run the show. Okay,
I'm gonna give you you know what,

317
00:24:51.359 --> 00:24:52.680
there's like this whole game, but
what I'm gonna do is I'm just gonna

318
00:24:52.720 --> 00:24:59.759
give you would you rather? Or
There's also another section where I ask you

319
00:24:59.759 --> 00:25:03.119
guys for something like a Walking Dead
character or a strange animal, and you

320
00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:07.319
have to give it to me.
I put it in and I'll explain.

321
00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:11.240
Okay, okay, so here we
go. I'm gonna shuffle these and you

322
00:25:11.279 --> 00:25:15.720
guys have to answer, and you
have to you have to answer also what

323
00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:21.240
you think we would answer. Do
you understand We're gonna go around the room.

324
00:25:21.400 --> 00:25:25.319
We're gonna say I think Brian is
gonna say he would rather do this,

325
00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:29.319
And then I'm gonna say I think
Eric would say he'd rather do that.

326
00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:33.240
Okay, and then we'll guess and
see how this goes. I don't

327
00:25:33.279 --> 00:25:36.720
know. This is like a game
I got, but it's like you have

328
00:25:36.720 --> 00:25:41.039
to play with four people. We
only have three, all right? Would

329
00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:48.559
you rather have sex with a homeless
person or be homeless for a year.

330
00:25:51.119 --> 00:25:53.279
Let's sit with that. Hold on, is suicide an option? No,

331
00:25:56.160 --> 00:26:00.519
A have sex with a homeless person
or be homeless for a year? I

332
00:26:00.519 --> 00:26:04.039
guess the first one. I'm supposed
to guess which one. Oh, you're

333
00:26:04.039 --> 00:26:07.759
gonna say. I don't understand this
game. I don't either, but we're

334
00:26:07.799 --> 00:26:11.240
gonna trick. So you're supposed to
guess which everyone what everyone else would answer?

335
00:26:11.319 --> 00:26:15.200
Yeah, I think you will pick
the first one. I would I

336
00:26:15.240 --> 00:26:18.319
would have sex with a homeless person. Being homeless for a year that's a

337
00:26:18.359 --> 00:26:22.400
long time. That's a long,
long long time. So you would rather

338
00:26:22.440 --> 00:26:26.039
have sex with a homeless person?
If I and by sex would a handy

339
00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:34.720
j count? No, I don't
know. Okay, mmmmm, he'll pick

340
00:26:34.759 --> 00:26:37.799
the first one. Now I'm gonna
do this other there's like a different way

341
00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:44.319
you can do it. Give me
a bodily feature. Oh uh, pooping,

342
00:26:44.599 --> 00:26:48.359
all right, that's good. That's
not a bodily feature. Would be

343
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:52.319
like your eyes or yours or something, I mean a body part. It

344
00:26:52.359 --> 00:26:56.319
says features. It says feature.
Pooping is a feature of the human body.

345
00:26:56.480 --> 00:27:00.160
It doesn't make sense with the sense. Okay, ner weener okay,

346
00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:08.400
and then any bodily sense. Would
you rather be born with an extra wiener

347
00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:14.319
or be born without any weener?
Smell? Oh? The second one?

348
00:27:14.359 --> 00:27:18.359
That's amazing, This makes no sad, this is stupid. I'm not playing

349
00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:23.279
the second kind. Would you rather
tell a bad joke in a room full

350
00:27:23.319 --> 00:27:29.599
of strangers or tell the dentist?
Oh, tell the dirtiest joke you know

351
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:33.799
to your grandmother? First one,
I'm supposed to guess, and you know

352
00:27:33.839 --> 00:27:37.079
what, Sorry, you'd pick the
first one. I would think that you

353
00:27:37.319 --> 00:27:42.759
would never do that to your grandmother
correct or your mother? Correct meeting from

354
00:27:42.759 --> 00:27:47.440
my mom, but you would prefer
not to. It makes your uncomfortable,

355
00:27:47.440 --> 00:27:51.240
And I like that. That's funny
to me. I think that you would

356
00:27:51.279 --> 00:27:56.319
pick a because you like you like
telling jokes, and and I wouldn't care.

357
00:27:56.440 --> 00:28:02.039
Somebody you would not care, would
you? They're a go down on

358
00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:10.559
Queen Elizabeth The second, or go
down on the Titanic. Well, I'm

359
00:28:11.359 --> 00:28:17.960
is that like a subliminal for like
a male stripper or something. You're dying?

360
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:21.680
I think we're not necessarily there were
survivors. If you go down on

361
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:23.279
the Titanic. I don't think that
means you survive, means you go down,

362
00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:29.200
You went down and then you floated
on a Not necessarily, but I

363
00:28:29.240 --> 00:28:32.720
think I'm pick the first. Yes, and she's alive at this point,

364
00:28:32.720 --> 00:28:37.559
she's alive. Okay, I'll pick
the second. You'll go down Titanic you

365
00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:45.599
would rather suffer tremendously in freezing cold
water, possibly die, possibly die,

366
00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:48.759
probably die hanging on for your deer
life, and eat a ninety year old

367
00:28:48.839 --> 00:28:53.680
vagina. Yes, done, going
down on the Titanic. Wow. I

368
00:28:53.759 --> 00:29:00.759
respect the dedication to his hatred of
that, not just I don't hatreds distaste.

369
00:29:00.480 --> 00:29:04.640
There you go. I have to
move all the cobwebs and the tumble.

370
00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:10.240
I mean you are a gold star
a, aren't you, which means

371
00:29:10.279 --> 00:29:14.920
never with a woman? Okay A
or b A. Would you rather have

372
00:29:15.079 --> 00:29:19.559
one dollar more than you'll ever need
or every dollar in the world, every

373
00:29:19.559 --> 00:29:22.640
dollar in the world? Is that
the same thing? Wait? What's the

374
00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:29.240
first one? Would you rather have
one dollar more than you'll ever need or

375
00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:34.160
have every dollar in the world that
depends I know that I need is interesting,

376
00:29:34.319 --> 00:29:37.960
but like want like with like want
to buy a Lamborghini? Im I

377
00:29:37.960 --> 00:29:41.559
canna get everything plus one dollar?
Or is it just you know what I

378
00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:45.799
need plus a dollar for a basic
food? In other words, I think

379
00:29:45.799 --> 00:29:49.519
we'd all choose B. Yeah,
I think so, Yeah, Okay.

380
00:29:49.640 --> 00:29:56.400
Would you rather only be allowed to
dine at a restaurant by yourself or only

381
00:29:56.440 --> 00:30:02.160
be allowed to eat without the use
of your hands at a restaurant? I'm

382
00:30:02.200 --> 00:30:06.319
guessing you guys would say A yeah, yeah, I can eat. You

383
00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:07.880
know what I can do. I
can go to dinner by myself. I

384
00:30:07.880 --> 00:30:12.400
don't have a problem with going to
the movies by myself. Gets me depressed.

385
00:30:12.440 --> 00:30:15.720
Well, here's the thing I can't
if you if the alternative is you

386
00:30:15.720 --> 00:30:18.680
have to eat at a restaurant without
your hands, you're gonna be eating by

387
00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:21.799
yourself anyway, because no one's gonna
eat with you. Yeah, that's a

388
00:30:21.799 --> 00:30:26.279
good point. That's a good point. Would you rather a always say the

389
00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:33.039
word asshole as you are sneezing or
always say the word mommy as you're passing

390
00:30:33.160 --> 00:30:37.359
gass. Oh, well god,
I say both. Yeah, not mommy,

391
00:30:37.400 --> 00:30:41.319
that's for sure. You guys pick
a n V. No, I'm

392
00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:45.000
not picking am or No, I'm
picking a asshole. Asshole. Nice sneeze.

393
00:30:45.039 --> 00:30:48.119
Yeah, I can hide that.
You can hide, Yes, you

394
00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:53.680
can can't hide mommy when mommy,
oh mommy. I know he calls me

395
00:30:53.759 --> 00:30:57.640
mommy anyway. He calls me mama. The other night he called me and

396
00:30:57.799 --> 00:31:02.880
only repeated the word mama, mama. I hung up on him three times.

397
00:31:03.839 --> 00:31:08.799
You are so annoying sometimes would you
rather a toggle on and off all

398
00:31:08.839 --> 00:31:14.759
the lights in your house when you
sneeze or cause a citywide electrical blackout when

399
00:31:14.799 --> 00:31:18.599
you orgasm? Oh? The second
one? I know what was the first

400
00:31:18.599 --> 00:31:22.599
one? Toggle on and off the
lights in your house when you sneeze,

401
00:31:22.599 --> 00:31:26.839
So they just they automatically shut off
first one second one's way more destructive.

402
00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:30.759
It is destructive. You're right.
It would be kind of cool in a

403
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:37.359
way. I don't know, it's
just that, but we need a report

404
00:31:37.400 --> 00:31:40.519
about how it feels. Well.
Yeah, if it'll probably come out like

405
00:31:40.680 --> 00:31:44.119
red, I think that'll be a
different issue than the pepper. Let's see

406
00:31:44.119 --> 00:31:47.559
what happens. Okay, all right, this is our first bathroom trip since

407
00:31:47.599 --> 00:31:49.799
the chip. I know, but
we don't know. We don't know if

408
00:31:49.799 --> 00:31:52.599
it hurts the pea hole too.
It might hurt the p hole. It

409
00:31:52.640 --> 00:31:56.960
might hurt the hole. Have you
even gone yet? I'm afraid. Okay,

410
00:31:57.000 --> 00:32:00.880
I'll ask you this while he peas. Would you rather have your friends

411
00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:08.960
hate your soulmate or have your soulmate
hate your parents? Just pretend your parents

412
00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:16.839
were alive. Oh, I'd rather
have my significant other not like my parents

413
00:32:17.960 --> 00:32:22.839
than your friends. Yes, yes, because that's your chosen family. Yes,

414
00:32:22.960 --> 00:32:27.759
that's how you work, and that's
who you would probably spend more time

415
00:32:27.799 --> 00:32:30.920
doing things with your friends are,
rather than your parents if your parents live

416
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:36.960
in another state or something. Okay, would you rather have your Would you

417
00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:42.400
rather have sexual skill be part of
your essats or have your sexual history affect

418
00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:47.359
your credit score? Geez? Wow
my okay, my credit score is already

419
00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:52.160
low, like, and my track
record right now is dry. So I'm

420
00:32:52.200 --> 00:32:59.839
telling you I think that I would
rather have a me too. Okay.

421
00:33:00.039 --> 00:33:02.839
Would you rather only eat gruel?
Whatever that is? It sounds horrible,

422
00:33:02.880 --> 00:33:06.960
and I think it probably is.
Do you know what's in gruel. Spell

423
00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:13.440
it g r u e l g
r r. It's probably like porridge.

424
00:33:13.680 --> 00:33:16.079
You know what porridges. It's got
to be something gross if it's a cream

425
00:33:16.119 --> 00:33:23.359
of wheat kind of thing, or
have some have the same horrifying nightmare every

426
00:33:23.400 --> 00:33:30.400
time you sleep, eat gruel for
the rest of your life, or have

427
00:33:30.599 --> 00:33:35.599
the same horrifying nightmare every time you
sleep. Oh, gruel, it's just

428
00:33:35.759 --> 00:33:40.599
it's literally porridge, and porridge is
just like it's just like oats, and

429
00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:45.720
well then gruel. Yeah, it's
probably what I eat anyway, it's beige,

430
00:33:45.759 --> 00:33:50.559
Okay, choosing that one for sure? For sure. Okay, let's

431
00:33:50.559 --> 00:33:54.960
just make note that Brian has not
come out of back now. Peeing doesn't

432
00:33:55.000 --> 00:34:00.160
take that long. No, would
you rather wear Lady Gaga's meat dress?

433
00:34:00.240 --> 00:34:07.000
Remember that? Or where Katy Perry's
whipped cream shooting bravery shooting? Yeah?

434
00:34:07.039 --> 00:34:13.960
For sure that that meat dress was
and I don't like meat, so that

435
00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:15.960
probably offended a lot of people,
but it was also artistic, it was

436
00:34:16.280 --> 00:34:22.599
and very Lady Gaga. Would you
rather? I think I think you're going

437
00:34:22.639 --> 00:34:28.719
to choose a on this one,
give a Ted talk naked? Oh done?

438
00:34:30.039 --> 00:34:32.719
Do I even need to read the
other one? No, or have

439
00:34:32.840 --> 00:34:37.119
all your clothes ripped off? During
an interview on The Tonight Show. Oh

440
00:34:37.239 --> 00:34:42.639
gosh, you like you like both
of these? Yeah, I did ted

441
00:34:42.679 --> 00:34:47.480
talk. You would do an entire
ted talk that would be on YouTube and

442
00:34:47.599 --> 00:34:54.719
live forever. Completely nude, sure, almost nude. Now, this man

443
00:34:55.119 --> 00:35:02.079
has no problem down in the South
area. He's got something he wants to

444
00:35:02.119 --> 00:35:07.000
show. He got something he wants
to show everything. I'm not gonna be

445
00:35:07.079 --> 00:35:09.840
holding it in my hands, I
know. But if you had a little

446
00:35:09.840 --> 00:35:14.119
weener, you wouldn't want to do
that. You know what. I'm probably

447
00:35:14.159 --> 00:35:19.800
not exactly. Hey, would you
rather go to heaven but the food sucks?

448
00:35:20.599 --> 00:35:25.239
Or would you rather go to Hell
but the food is amazing? Uh?

449
00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:28.639
Well, I think I'd rather go
to heaven. Yeah, I know,

450
00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:30.079
I don't really want to eat it
that much anyway. No, I

451
00:35:30.119 --> 00:35:34.800
wouldn't want to. I want to
look super good. Brian, you took

452
00:35:34.840 --> 00:35:37.960
a little bit more time than the
normal person takes to take a whiz.

453
00:35:37.119 --> 00:35:43.239
So what happened? What happened?
So now? I but I wanted to

454
00:35:43.239 --> 00:35:45.039
make you guys think it was going
bad. Also, my stomach was a

455
00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:47.000
little rum but I was like,
I'm just gonna stick here for a second.

456
00:35:47.559 --> 00:35:52.880
You sat down on the Okay,
nothing came out and the pe hole

457
00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:54.920
didn't sting. No, Okay,
I don't know. I don't know what

458
00:35:54.960 --> 00:35:59.440
I don't think. I don't know
if it could be true. Okay,

459
00:35:59.639 --> 00:36:04.800
no good. How's your stomach feeling
and are are you feeling poopid? I

460
00:36:04.840 --> 00:36:07.159
fish? I feel like I do
have like a like not not my stomach.

461
00:36:07.400 --> 00:36:10.559
Yeah, and you guys ate you
ate a piece of more? Yeah,

462
00:36:10.760 --> 00:36:15.039
I'm feeling a little like I feel
like I have acid reflux like a

463
00:36:15.159 --> 00:36:19.400
keep. Oh do you want the
peptobismal? No? And why not like

464
00:36:19.559 --> 00:36:22.840
that? I think I brought tombs. Oh, I'll read a couple more

465
00:36:22.880 --> 00:36:27.400
of these and then we'll end.
Okay, so you guys can relax because

466
00:36:27.559 --> 00:36:32.719
dang, this is the filthy version. Yeah. Would you rather have a

467
00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:37.960
spetun in your kitchen or a diaper
pail full of diapers in your dining room?

468
00:36:38.039 --> 00:36:42.159
Oh? God, a spetun in
my kitchen? Yeah? I know

469
00:36:42.320 --> 00:36:47.760
both are super gross gross. Would
you rather die the coolest death possible without

470
00:36:47.760 --> 00:36:53.480
anybody seeing it, or die the
dumbest death possible with the world watching.

471
00:36:54.519 --> 00:36:59.880
I would rather die the coolest death
possible, because then everybody would talk about

472
00:37:00.039 --> 00:37:02.320
because they and it would be legendary. Well, even if nobody knows.

473
00:37:02.360 --> 00:37:07.800
I'd rather die in complete isolation than
with everyone watching me die stupid. I

474
00:37:07.840 --> 00:37:12.199
agree with you. Yeah, Okay, one more and then we'll end.

475
00:37:12.239 --> 00:37:16.079
Because I like these I'm burning these
cards. Would you rather be famous for

476
00:37:16.119 --> 00:37:22.920
nothing or infamous for the right reasons? Oh? Like? What? Like?

477
00:37:22.039 --> 00:37:27.480
Famous for nothing like Kim Kardashian like
infamous? This is the right reason

478
00:37:27.559 --> 00:37:32.320
because infamous is not a good thing. Exactly infamous is you? You are

479
00:37:32.599 --> 00:37:36.719
what's that guy's name who killed a
punch of people, had cult up?

480
00:37:36.880 --> 00:37:42.239
Okay manson, So either you are
Kim Kardashian or Hitler. Oh right,

481
00:37:42.639 --> 00:37:45.159
I'm gonna go with Kim Kari.
I'm going Kim Kardashian. I'm gonna go

482
00:37:45.239 --> 00:37:50.599
Kim Kardashi Okay, yeah, I'm
gonna I had another segment, but you

483
00:37:50.639 --> 00:37:52.920
know what, I'm gonna not do
this because I'm gonna give you guys a

484
00:37:52.960 --> 00:37:57.719
break this week just because of what
your bodies have been through. I want

485
00:37:57.760 --> 00:38:00.039
you to properly eliminate. I want
you guys to be able to do that

486
00:38:00.119 --> 00:38:07.519
in your own individual hall what's happening? Are you getting what's happening? I'm

487
00:38:07.559 --> 00:38:08.679
like, are you getting up to
do it right now? Don't do it

488
00:38:08.719 --> 00:38:12.440
in my house. I kind of
want you guys to go home to do

489
00:38:12.639 --> 00:38:16.400
your puffing. I will be shortly, Okay, I may have to just

490
00:38:16.440 --> 00:38:21.639
wear this out now. Oh my
god, Eric, can I please take

491
00:38:21.679 --> 00:38:23.400
a picture of you running up and
down the street in this out shirt?

492
00:38:23.480 --> 00:38:25.320
Oh? I love it. Okay, We're gonna do that next. I'll

493
00:38:25.320 --> 00:38:28.599
post that. I'll post up for
you guys. All right, thank you

494
00:38:28.639 --> 00:38:30.880
so much for watching, Thank you
so much for listening. Thank you to

495
00:38:30.920 --> 00:38:34.719
our sponsors. Please subscribe to our
channel. We sure would love it,

496
00:38:34.760 --> 00:38:39.079
and we really appreciate your support.
And with that, love your podcast,

497
00:38:40.360 --> 00:38:45.679
Love your podcast, I love you, My sweet babies. Back next week

498
00:38:45.719 --> 00:38:49.719
with Brian's wild Card. Oh yeah, baby, see love you