WEBVTT

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This is the downbeat on ninety seven
to one, the freak. When the

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sun goes down on my side of
town, that loadsome feeling comes to my

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door, and the whole world turns
blur. There's a rundown bar across the

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railroad tracks. I got a table
for two way in the vand where I

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see loon and I think I'm losing
you. I'm getting kind of hard spend

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almost every night beneath the light of
a kneeon moon. Now, if you

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lose your wonde and only, there's
always room here for the lonely, watch

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your broken dreams dancing and out of
the beames of an neon moon. I

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was looking at the screen. Was
that Kevin or Danny Singer? Which is

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just bricks and done? I'm over
turn cut? Right? We didn't carry

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out that one? No, No, that's right, Ronnie done. I

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was fair at the monitor. Player. Can this be our midpoint? Show?

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Turn cut? Forever? Getting your
money? Hour? Right now?

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Elvis is backstage getting holders there stretch
here. WHOA four minutes, I'm sorry,

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four hours, Jesus thirty eight minutes
and thirteen seconds away front totality,

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totality. That song needs the drums
of the Great Ronnie Tutt going into c

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C Rider and the man in the
white suit coming out doing a tobit.

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Oh see see Roda. It doesn't
just mean Roddy kick at the end of

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that whatever. Man have a couple
of things. My pictures Rick Flair strutting

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out to their that's how different we
are. Limousine riding, jet flying.

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He was the first. He's having
a hard time holding those gators down.

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So this is a segment that's entitled
Eclipse, a Celestial Phenomenon. I'm Kevin

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Turner. Hello Kevin. It's Dandy
Bayless. He's Mike Siroy. I'm Mike

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Siroy. She's JJ Jackson. Hi, JJ can tell you Shody full confidence

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that Danny's got Breaking country music news
at eight thirty. The details are funny.

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Someone was arrested, a huge name
arrested behind bars. Maybe the biggest

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name in country music spent the night
in the clink. Who was it?

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And why stick around for those beats? There's nowhere else to find these details

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other than waiting for another thirty minutes
yep for me to tell you, because

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if you're like me, your internet's
probably out. You got no way to

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no way to look up these things. So rely on the downbeat Page Ellenburger.

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Fox four is out in Ellis County
covering the eclipse. The eclipse.

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Yeah, of course Page got screwed. They sent her all the way out

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of town again. We have Hannah
bat of Fox four is at Clyde Warren

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Park where the Benskin show on the
speakeas you will be from ten to six

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today. Uh yeah, go out
there party with them. We have freak

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Jesus as are volunteer field reporter today
whom we might try to get him on

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TV. Behind one of the reporters
here, there's Hannah bought up in Clyde

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Warren right now. Where is he? He should be there, He should

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be naked under a robe. The
robe flies off just he should be helicoptering

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meat, Yes, three feet behind
us, meat, Carrie, are you

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where are you? He sent in
a chair. I thought you'll told me

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to go to the promism to see
I roker both Where are you sading me?

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Ma'am? So like everyone's out there, this is this is the story.

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Whether you're tired of it or not. There's a reason it's been hyped

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for three months. It's happening here
it ain't happening again in our lifetime like

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this. There will be more solar
eclipses. They will pass, but not

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with a totality like this. Even
if you don't care at all, the

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minute that starts, I don't care. Who will start to tear up?

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Like will anyone be completely aware that
it's happening outside and not walk out their

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door or not lower a blind and
walk outside. I'm going to get emotional.

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Maybe if you're an immobile person,
then we will paint a beautiful picture

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for you and you can listen to
us at ninety Someone in the freak if

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you can't get outside, yeah,
or if you're if you're blind, if

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you're blind, clouds, d stop
doing cringe, point in wow, and

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I'm seeing cloud. If it's that
amount of clouds, we're fine. That's

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thin clouds. You're still going to
be able to see the sun and you'll

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get a great eclipse shot. If
that it's as bad as it gets,

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we're good. But there's a storm
moving our way. Eight o'clock. It's

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just gonne. Okay, Wow,
the storm's not hitting until post eclipse.

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I understand that, but there needs
to be storm prep. This is the

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beginning of storm prep prep all day. Yesterday, I looked at the map

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on my phone and it was big
clouds only clouds, only clouds only already

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now, all the way through two
pm, it's cloud and son, half

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cloud, half son. It's already
better. Every minute that we get closer

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to this eclipse, you gets better. But you're looking at a stupid icon

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on your connected to something that knows
yes, does it? You need to

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look at the actual doppler. The
doppler tells the truth. Your Doppler's not

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right. This is connected to the
best oppler. Your doppler gives negative.

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Don't question my models. I won't. Mine's broken. It got too hot

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last summer point is a lot going
on. US intelligence officials are worried about

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this security warning right here in the
US from the FBI and Homeland Security warning

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of potential threats to public gatherings,
The timing of this, and why they're

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concerned. Tonight, here's our Chief
Justice Course BoNT of Pre Thomas, with

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late reporting tonight, FBI and Homeland
Security officials are warning miss law enforcement about

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the potential for terror inspired by that
deadly ices attack in Moscow targeting a concert

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hall. The concern According to the
bulletin violence targeting mass gatherings such as sports

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stadiums, concert venues, or houses
of worship. In the United States,

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the bulletin come just days before millions
will gather to watch the eclipse on Monday,

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authorities say. Following the Moscow attack, Ices and his supporters celebrated the

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assault and shared graphic and violent attack
footage. The terror group calling for similar

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attacks in the United States. I'm
told us law enforcement is being urged to

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take this bulletin seriously. Jesus Kevin. Oh, I thought I was ruining

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the eclipse clouds. Yeah, I
thought Tim had ruined the eclipse for all

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of us. Well, I'm just
saying this bulletin. They kind of like

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when this attack happened in Moscow the
day, They're like, well, if

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we did kind of warn them that
this could happen, what does that mean

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any group? Yeah, we try
to tell them. Well, no,

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like I'm talking about like intelligence officials
were like, yeah, not surprised here,

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Well are they telling us anything what
you just heard? Look out,

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Well it's just a general warning for
any large gatherings. I hope you're right.

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Well, yeah, but it felt
like that one had a little more

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specific specificity, do it. Yeah. Also, there's a little comment that's

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going to be in the sky today. See a comet, a rare comment.

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This is the devil comet all right
now, it's horn shaped, but

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it could make an appearance during the
eclipse. Shut up, this comment is

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No, it's way past Earth just
as the moon crosses the Sun. This

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part up. If you can time
it out now, yeah, seriously,

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have to turn it out within Yes, at the second that you and the

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comet passes in front of the eclipse, you will achieve true divinity and everlasting

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life. I believe this planet.
And then there and look there's Jesus disguised

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as the Statue of Liberty. Uh
huh, you're like Jesus, you get

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me. We need to get a
nude carry roped up on Memorial Tower down

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there and Clyde Warren all right,
and we just slowly dangle him off the

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tower and lower him down into the
park right when the eclipse happened. Nude,

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a nude freak Jesus. Ah,
he's back. How many people would

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really think that you have to returned? Yes, they would, as long

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as we use a very thin cable. Yeah, which I'm recommending very very

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monofilament cable. Well, I think
the world is prepared to have the fact

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that our Lord and Savior is a
ginger. They don't want that revealed quite

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yet. It's not a ginger.
He's a brownie. He's pretty gingery brown

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brunette. Four hours, twenty four
minutes to get that, then cable,

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and we just a monofilament cable and
we lower him into Clyde Warn Park.

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Everyone, so get this at and
he's like Bubbas Bubba's The devil Comet has

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a seventy one year orbit. It
was last seen in nineteen fifty four,

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will not be seen again until twenty
ninety five. Today is the day of

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the Devil Comet. Normally we would
be talking about this, but we haven't

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been because we're too caught up in
the eclipse. Where did you read this?

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Everywhere? No, no one has
heard this worldwide web the devil comment.

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Also, we're just gonna throw that
in two three hours before showtime.

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Well, I've been sitting on this. I could have done the story last

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week, but I wanted to do
it at eight o'clock on the big day

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that we have to be wary of
the devil comment. Four planets might be

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able to be seen. Now you
will need limited cloud cover here, but

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you could get Jupiter on the left
of the Sun. You could get Venus

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on the right of the Sun.
You could get a hint of Saturn and

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Mars to the right of Venus,
but harder to see. But you could

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see four planets and the devil comet, which is shaped like a horn.

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In't that amazing today? Now?
Yeah? Hard to see to the naked

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eye. Yeah, it gonna be
tough. I'm not telling you. I

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don't expect everyone to have a telescope, but it's possible that we could see

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these things. Because we have not. Even if you've thought about it,

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you've thought about it for five seconds
and you've moved on. We have not

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gone to the point it shuts down
and gets dark for four minutes this afternoon.

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That's insanity, that's crazy. If
it happened I don't nowhere, we'd

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be like freaking out and panicking.
I don't yeah, okay, fine,

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thousand years ago, yes, we'd
have been freaking out and pancking and grunting

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at the skies. What did they
say on they had the earthquake? You

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know, over the weekend and on
SNL that you didn't have to happen to

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see it. Well, they had. They interviewed the earthquake and the eclipse

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at the same time, and they
decided they were going to team up so

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that if an earthquake happened during the
eclipse. Can you imagine like if that

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had happened three thousand years ago.
They said that that would be something that

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would cause them to throw virgins into
a volcano. Yeah, exactly, that's

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pretty funny. Came out started shaken
out there in Irving. They're working on

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serving up the world's largest moon pie. It weighs one hundred and eighty pounds,

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it measures five feet in diameter,
sixty four pounds of marshmallows. Now,

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Mike, do not worry about this. But there's one hundred and twenty

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eight eggs needed to make it.
But you won't know taste them, you

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won't know. And they're serving this
at the Levey e vent Plaza off of

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Los Colinas Boulevard, to which I
say, moonpie heist. You're gonna steal

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their moon pie? You want to
no moonpie delicious street and never gets enough

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credit. I haven't had one since
I was a little granted, I'm a

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marshmallow guy. I mean they're always
pretty good. My favorite sandwich is the

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fluffer, notre but like, well
with that vanilla moonpie is spare give me

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it's got to be the choco.
They got the choco? Yeah, I

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need choco. The yellow one's more
of a banana though than vanilla. Right.

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Yeah? Do you feel like only
five feet diameter for the world's largest

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moon pie? I saw this news
story over the weekend. I was like,

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that's the world record. We could
beat that next week total, Let's

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make a six foot moon pile.
The size of this table wins it.

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Yeah, seriously, let's do it
right here on the table. A look

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at that. That's a eight foot
table, bro. I bet that's at

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least eight feet. And then even
then, it doesn't seem like that right

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there, Like I've seen pizzas that
are a mile long. Yeah, that

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aren't good enough to get it.
But they're gonna make a moon pie the

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size of your your dynet set and
it's ginnis get the nerd with a suit

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on and a clipboard and a freaking
measuring tape. Yeah said as dynet set.

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The only time you hear Dynete sets
on the prices right in casual conversations.

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I don't want to steal the moonpie, but I am keep I'm staying

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vigilant on eclipse heists. Okay,
you know that's the time. It's a

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time. If you know that,
I can tell you everyone is going to

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be looking with glasses on that prevent
you from seeing anything else. They're all

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going to be looking up. You
know what you can do down watch out

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for pockets. Clyde Warren Park and
I am an accomplished pickpocket. I don't

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use my powers for evil anymore,
but I could go down there and be

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standing in the parking lot with fifty
wallets, watches, belts. You would

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be none those phones in Wade's wallet. Is it were saggy pants easy,

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like you could pluck, pluck pluck. I've seen these skills and action back

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when you used to apply them for
evil. Yea, But I mean you

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could probably have twenty phones unlocked because
people are too busy staring at the sun,

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and when you put you wave wand
wave wand the phone in front of

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their faces, they're not gonna be
able to see it because they're wearing those

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stupid glasses show them, Yeah,
this is your phone unlocked, venmo emptied

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empty, and then put it back. D Bayless at gmail dot com zell

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everything to their like you know,
put the phone empty, your accounts,

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phone back in your pocket. That
was great. Let's all applaud the eclipse.

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Guess who's rich? Yeh, guess
who doesn't band? Right? Our

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band is going to be rich.
Meanwhile, you're stopping to get gas at

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Valero to get back home, and
guess what, you don't have any money

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in your account? Declined, decline? What's that? Yeah? And him

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and I laughing, drinking umbrella drinks
and old fashions and our band Preemium gin

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writing new songs together, new song. I already got a new van.

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Yeah, I've been waiting for you
guys to release some new stuff. Oh

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just wait, Yeah, we're releasing
an Eclipse concept double LP. Oh that'll

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be good in twenty thirty three when
Alaska gets one, because that's the next

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one. Also, guess who will
be headlining the Anchorage Civic Center in nineteen

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years for nine years? I don't
know that bit ran out? What else

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do you have? Kevin Well?
The other one's twenty forty four, but

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that's gonna be Montana, North Dakota. There's no there's not another one hitting

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us in our life. We got
it today, not here. I just

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think, what's the next devil commet? The devil comet is twenty seventy one

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years from now, twenty ninety five. No chance you, no chance you

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live that long. No, no, like there's like the next one that

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happens here in dfwth three hundred years. Yeah, that's crazy and we won't

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be. I mean started into the
sun, so I mean, if there

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are people who are made who can
withstand big time heat, if they're heat

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people, I don't know. The
other thing is if you were going to

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listen to Dark Side of the Moon, you could time it up. Oh

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oh my god. People love timing
up. It's forty the moon. It's

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forty minutes and fifty three seconds now, they suggest on this article I was

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reading, they suggest seventy seconds before
the local total eclipse sign just fire up

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eclipse. But what time do we
have to start in the air tonight to

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hit the part. Now that's getting
tough. Now, yeah it goes dark

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a reverse. What time do you
have to fire up in your eyes?

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By Peter Gabriel to where it hits
the first chorus when the sun it's a

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weird one to. Okay, So
if you were going here, we know

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it's gonna be one forty. That
means we would start up the album at

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twelve forty twelve thirty twelve twenty nine, six minutes after the it partially starts.

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It starts cutting in anyways, because
at twelve twenty three is when we

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start grooving. Now on when we
but twelve twenty three, well, there

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will be a palpable buzz throughout the
Metroplex and Hillsboro I'll imagine, is Dave,

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there's somehow the city of note for
this. Yeah, as one scientist

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said, this is the best place
to see the eclipse. That scientist who

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said that he's on the city council
for Hillsboro in cider trading or incisor trading

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because he's also a dentist. Coming
up next, Danny has Dinga's Morning News.

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We'll try to recover from that punchline
with the news where we will tell

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you a tale about one of the
biggest stars in the world of country music

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spent the night in jail. You
won't believe why. Next