And and they wake up once you please open your eyes. Oh me,
what's going on here? It's the Amos and Andy Shaw. Tonight. Our
story opens in the auditorium of the Lodge hall, where a celebration is in
progress in honor of Andy for his long service to the lodge. He's one
of the few early members still active. Right now, the Kingfish is on
the platform before the members, completing a speech of tribute. Andy is sitting
on the stage right in back of him, and so fellow members are as
proud to pay tribute to our brother hire on the platform, Mist Andre H.
Brown, who has done been in our lodge for twenty years. Before
mister Brown applied for membership with our law, the census of opinion was that
and there was a bum. He didn't have no money, he didn't have
no business. He never knowed where he was going to sleep from one week
to the next. Now let's look at him now and the progress that he
has done made in the last twenty years. The day he is I would
say, well he is ah, that is well, he's a fine,
healthy looking man. So, brother and on behalf of the membership, we
present you as a token of our steam there's brand new januine electric clock,
which set us back eight dollars and fifty cents. Thank you, brothers for
this beautiful electric clock. It has done touch me. I don't know what
to say, but I feel sure that you brothers would like to know my
life's history, taking it right from where I was born up to the day,
year by year. I was born in a little town in Georgia.
We lived in the sort of a barn. That was some speech to and
that made last night. I bet he must have talked for two hours.
Yes, Amos, I tell you I stayed till he was eighteen years old,
then I left. How long did you stay at Fluca? Well,
I stayed till he was twenty four, and that's about all I could take.
I wonder how long and had spoke there? Well, I tell you
that boy really did it tear it away with herself, don't it. Yeah,
you're right Fluca. When I hear Andy get wound up and go into
a thing like it done last night, sometimes I wonder if this country ain't
making a mistake by having freedom of speech. Well, the trouble with Andy.
Good morning, gentlemen, Good morning, Hello there, brother, and
hi you son, h fluky. Get out the way there second, will
you. I want to plug this clock in there and set up on my
desk. Oh ye, this show is a nice clock. You boys give
me last night for my twenty years anna reversary. Oh yeah, now,
Andrew, you gotta spin that little wheel in the back of it to get
us started. Yeah, well, don't seem to go. Let's see if
you got it plugged in tight? He Yeah, the plug is in.
Good. Yeah, that's funny. A clock that won't run. I wonder
what she gets if it was only in the lodge ten years. But I
can't understand it. That's eight dollar and fifty cent clock. It aught to
work. Well, I got it plugged in and I done turned the starter.
What else can you do? Say? I follows, you know eyes
a scientists. I could take it over to my laboratory and smack it a
couple of times with a hammer. Hey, wait a minute, I just
found this paper in the box that the clock come in. It's a lifetime
guaranteed look aheah, listen to this and say here this clock guaranteed for life
against all defects due to faulty material or workmanship, and as signed by the
Wilton Clock Company. Come on and take you over to the store where we
bought it, and we'll show him this guarantee he got to give us satisfactory
Kingfish, I know you bought the clock here, but it was the last
one I had in the store. Yeah, but don't you see the clock
don't work. Yeah, and there's a lifetime guarantee that come with the clock.
Listen, boys, that's the manufacturer's guarantee. And it so happened that
the Wilton Clock Company is right here in New York. Why don't you take
it down after them? You can get some quick action, And that looked
like the best thing to do. Maybe we can get lightning to drive us
to the Wilton Clock Company and name us a static head. Right, let's
go. This must be the players that say that Wilton Clock Company up there.
Yeah, this is it? All right? All right? You wait
here, they didn't. This thing's gonna take long, all right, as
I wait here for uh say, this show is a big plan that got
you. Yeah, it must take a lot of equipment to turn out clocks
that don't run well in there. I think that that soldier can't be talking
to us. Oh that's us that's us. What do you want? This
is a war plant? Oh oh well, uh ain't this the Wilton clock
Company? Yes, but it's been converted into a war production of precision instruments.
Oh yeah, that's it. Huh, well, you see, missus
soldier. The reason we don't come down here is that I got a Wilton
clock that don't work, and it's got a lifetime guarantee on it. Uh,
come on, and let's get out of here. The lifetime guaranteed don't
mean much if they're gonna shoot you on the way in. Now, let's
see mine. Wait a minute, king Fish. Wait. Uh the company
must stand back of their clock share. They'll do that. Uh mister,
that's nobody in there that I could get satisfaction from. Well, mister Wilton
is still running the plant, and I guess you could see him. Yeah,
well, thank you, mister. We'll be right with your key fish.
We better tell Lightning we'll be a little longer. Look, and uh
uh, why don't we take the clock back to the Harlem store there and
exchange it for something else. I don't like the idea of going into a
place where everybody read to shoot at you. Don't let us do that.
Oh, don't be silly, hey, Lightning. We just want to tell
you that we're gonna be in this place a little longer than where you think
we was. Uh, well, what did you come back, miss Andy?
Well, uh to tell you what I just told you. Well,
that'll seem like a washes the time. Wouldn't it have been quicker if you
would win it and then the first place instead of coming back here to tell
me that you're gonna be longer than you think you were in the first place,
Lightning, this place here is a war plant. Now, well,
if you gotta get a clock fixed, then why does he want to go
to a war plan? We is gonna rob the war plant, Lightning,
But don't tell nobody. Wouldn't that be designor all Lightning? Come on,
Kingfish, come on, you know ten years ago I would award that Lightning
couldn't get no dumber. But he doesn't fool me. All right, fellows,
we go right down this walk here, it's not far follow me.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you sir, Thank you, Ralph.
I think you've done a wonderful job on this altitude device, Thank you,
mister Wilson. And I think if it's successful it will be the most
important development of the year in combat aviation. The beauty of it is that
it can be used in those big B seventeen flying fortresses or on the P
thirty eight Lightning. I think they're going to try it out on the P
thirty eight Lightnings first. The principle's very revolutionary too. The secret of the
whole instrument, the actual heart of it is these two little screws right here.
They're made out of that new highly sensitive metal that we developed right here
in the lab. Well. I don't have to caution you about guarding all
this very carefully, Ralph Uh huh, I should say not, mister Wilton.
Now, these are the only two metal screws of this type in existence,
and this is the only set of plans, So believe me, I'm
taking no chances. Oh uh, did you say that altimeter clock is on
the way. Yes, it should be here in a minute. Oh good,
then I can finish this thing up. I better check with Benson out
front of it. Benson speaking Benson this and mister Wilton. I'm expecting a
couple of men with a new type altimeter clock for those new pursuit planes.
Now you send them back to my office. Who's era, Yes, sir.
Oh. By the way, these men are supposed to put some finishing
touches on this altimeter clock when they get here. Oh, then I suppose
you want them to put on coverall as usual. Certainly you know our rules.
Yes, mister Wilton, goodbye, we'll see well, come down to
my office for a minute. I'll show you are new assignment. Right over
to this window, fellas, mister Benson. Yes, these two men want
to see somebody. Will you take care of them? Okay, Sandra,
what was it you men wanted? Uh, we want to see mister Wilton.
We got a clock here. Oh, yes, yes, I know
all about it. You do you sure do? Get around? I'm in
through this gate here, please, Yeah, I guess demand of the store.
I must have phone down and told him about it. All right,
You can take off your clothes right here. Yeah. Well, excuse me
for protruding, but uh, did you say something bout taking off your clothes.
That's right, I've go on the plant with those clothes on. Well.
Uh, you're liable to be a little drafty in there, mo.
Yeah, this is just a clock factory in it. You ain't running,
No Turkish bath or nothing on the side of you. Now, look,
I haven't got time to argue with you. Before you can go back in
that plant, you've got to put on coveralls, cover all. Look,
Messa, we don't want to seem pig headed about this thing. But the
one of the reason me is here. I know why you're here, and
you've got to put on those coveralls just to see mister Wilton. Huh,
that's right, you know, Kingfish, the Mowai hears about this, fellow
Wilton, the Moai s's why the clock won't run, Uh say, muscle
h When we get all fixed up here, what does we do and where
does we go to find? Mister Wilton? You go straight down to the
end of the passageway, turn left and it's the first star. Thank you.
Yeah, well we might as well get started. Yeah, get off
my coat. Uh. You know something, Kingfish, taking advantage of a
lifetime guarantee ain't as easy as a lot of people think it is. Well,
this is the end of the passage. Waited he said, turn the
right or left? And h seemed to me he say left, no,
no, right? Yeah, that said right? Yeah, we turned down
here. Then he said the first door. Well, this is it right
here? Hm, ain't nobody here? Well, we just better wait around.
Uh miss Wilton most likely to be back in a second. And yeah,
just don't look like much of office. Look more like a work room.
Hey say, I could use them things right there? Oh what's that
in those two little screws there? Yeah, the looking glass in my bathroom
was coming loose. Oh, go ahead and take them if you can use
them. They don't want'em. Yeah, yeah, they ain't got no
use for him. I think this size. Here's ten for nickel in the
dime store. Yeh, slipping in the pocket there. They must have millions
of them. See. I was just thinking, Uh, we liable to
be in here a little while yet before uh we change our clothes and gets
out of here, Maybe we better send Lightning a note and tell them what
we're doing so we won't get jumping out there. Yeah, that's right.
Let's write him a note and we can get somebody to take it out to
him. Yeah, here's a pencil here, there's I use this piece of
paper here. Wait a minute, Wait a minute, there's something on that
paper, King fee Or does a bunch of lines look like some guy been
doodling with the pencils that are doing his work. One side is blue,
and oh it's right on the back, all right, on the back of
it. There. I'll stay here, Lightning. What are you men doing
here? You know these men around, no, but I know they have
no business in this laboratory. Well you see, mister, you're doing with
those plans. God, God, screws are missing too. Well. Well,
listen, mister. The only reason we come down here's this you.
Yes, I think we have a couple of dangerous men here. Watch them.
I want to go through their pockets. Oh look, mother, we
ain't doing nothing. Now did the reason we come down here? Here are
the screws? They were in his pocket. It's lucky we got back in
time. We'd been a minute later, both the plans and the screws would
have been gone. And look what they've got written on the back of these
plans, Lightning. Yeah, they even knew these plans were for that plane.
Oh, mother, that ain't a plane. As a man, yeah,
listen, we will. I don't know what you tore up to,
but this is certainly a matter for the FBI. God, yes, take
these two men to FBI headquarters, and I hope they get what they deserve.
Well, they've got Andy and the Kingfish down at FBI headquarters. The
FBI agents are giving them a complete examination and taking them through a routine checkup
before bringing them in for questioning. I think that's everything on that. Harris
Brown's weight two hundred and five height, five feet eleven and a half.
Right, Stevens one ninety one six foot All right, boys, you can
put your shirts on, you know, and getting ready sick of putting my
clothes on and off here. Yeah, we should have come out in our
bathrobes today, all right, Harris, take them over the finger printing,
all right, give me a hand, just relax, I'll do it.
Oh look, mister, you don't have to take no fingerprints. We as
innocent. We was just trying to check on a lifetime guarantee, honest we
was. We wouldn't do nothing to hurt the United States government. Oh so
that's right, mother, Look I got American flag. Well here I'm a
buttonhole yeah minus in mother suit. All right, Harris, hut them around
now, I want to get a profile. Messr You ain't got to take
our pictures. Nobody believes us, but we ain't done nothing wrong, sir.
I plead with you, mister, won't you please believe that? I?
Wait a minute, what's the matter? My left profile on the side
there is much better? Well, Harris, what did you find? Nothing?
Chief? Their records are as clean as a whistle. Well, you
know there's all as the first time. This is the complete file, fingerprints,
pictures and everything. Eh, that's right, all right, bring them
in, yes, sir? How many of you men? Yeah, we
coming, We're coming in. Sit down, Missa. We've been trying to
tell all your assistants here that there is making a mistake. Yeah. Does
like I say, Mussell, I wouldn't do nothing to hurt the government.
I as a pertriotic man, I was one of the earliest American settlers in
our apartment houses. I wouldn't love all life and look, try to remain
remember the joy. Hello, hello, Chief, we picked up those three
fellows from Harlem. You know, friends of the men you've got inside there.
Oh, yes, I want to question them. I'll be right out,
mister. You don't really think that we meant to steal that stuff in
the workroom there, do you. Well? Frankly, boys, I don't,
but we've got to make these routine investigations to make sure pardon me moment.
Yeah, well that's a relief. We'll wait right here. How do
you do? Man? My name is Hood, I'm in charge here,
Hennessy. You got their names? Yes, that's NamUs Jones, that's Henry
Van Porter. This fellow they call lightning man we thought was a plane.
And you're friends of Brown and Stevens. Is that right? Yes? They
tell you the truth. They is our best friends, mister. Yes,
we've known them for many years and if there's any information you want, we
would be only too happy to bulge it. I see, well, what
about you. You're the fellow that drove them down to the plant, don't
you. I yes, I'd a fellow that drove them down to the plane
in the taxicab. While I was waiting for him. They never did come
out, and I waited for two hours from and then I whizzed on home.
I see, Well, tell me what do you know about these men
as far as their reputations go, Well, Muster, I tell you the
truth. I know they're liable to get into a little scrape now and then,
like anybody liable to do. But I can tell you this that they
would never do anything against the federal government. I know is that? Why?
Certainly not? From my own personal contact with him, I know that
they has always felt that crime was in bad taste. Yeah. I don't
know what they accused him, mister, but I assure it must be some
mistake around here. In other words, you men all feel positive that Stevens
and Brown would do nothing against the law. Yes, sir, I would
swear to that, Yes, except for one thing. But well, I
guess I've been not saying though. But what is it? Remember, you've
got to tell the truth here. Well, I wouldn't want I wouldn't like
for you to repeat this because mister Brown told me not to say nothing about
it. But when he left the cave, he said he was going in
to robin war plans. Now we've got something to go on. But mister
you said a while ago you figured we was innocent. Yea, mossell believe
us, Please believe us. We wasn't gonna steal nothing. Have you got
that lie detector all attached? Tennessee? Yes, sir, take this thing
off me, will you please, mister taket Oh, I'll tell you the
truth. I'll tell you the truth. Brown I'm gonna ask you some questions.
If you don't tell the truth, this lie detector will show just when
you're lying. Mister Dad, ain't fair. This lie detect don't know nothing
about the keys. This machine records your emotional reactions, and no matter how
hard you try to conceal your feelings, you can't fool it. This machine
transposes your emotional vibrations into sound. I'll turn it on now. In other
words, when you lie, you'll hear the hum rise. All right,
here's the first question. Your true name is Andrew H. Brown? Is
that right? Yes, sir? Have you ever used any other name?
No, sir, Why did you try to steal those plans? Oh blah
bob. I didn't try to steal them, mistern as, I did not
well, I didn't hear no rise in hume, mister pose not. I
never told a lie in my life. Oh you you haven't. Uh uh,
mister you must have a short circuit in death someplace. Mister Brown,
I'm interested in your source of income. Just what is it that you do
turn a living well? Uh? Uh i uh? I as in partners
with the King Fishier And what does he do for a living well? He
he he I would say, he uh, just about the same as me.
All Right, what do you both do? Then? Oh? Well,
well, uh we worked hard all the time. If that's what you
mean, well, well, I mean by that pretty hard? U mother?
Is that machine incinerating that my friend is lying? Doing more than insinuating?
Uh? And put yourself together their son? Brown? Brown, you
still maintain you just went inside that factory to get a clock fixed? Yes,
sir, And do you expect me to believe that, mister? I
just hope that someday your clock goes bad and you got a lifetime guarantee.
But you did go in to rob that war plant, didn't you? No,
sir, Hm doesn't seem to be any reaction. Brown. I wonder
if you could be an innocent accomplice in this thing. Yes, sir,
I'd be glad ya sa, And I'd be glad to be innocent accomplice to
remember as his partner. No, no, no, you don't quite understand
what I mean. Is is it possible at this so called friend of yours?
The Kingfish is the mastermind and it's just using you for a tool.
Now, weird a minute, Brown, have you ever known the Kingfish to
do anything dishonest? Hold it and hold it now. What's the matter?
And before you answer that question, I want you to calm yourself down there.
I want you to get your motions leveled off, smooth of the pool
tables. All right, answer the question, have you ever known the Kingfish
to do anything dishonest? Well? I didn't hear nothing. I did.
What I was gonna say, is I know the Kingfish is honest? All
right? Well, that is I think he is. Well, what I
mean is he's honest most of the time. That is to say he honest
at least half of the time. Look, look, mister, maybe weybody
get off this question before we blows a fuse here we also, mister,
I gonna tell you that machine and there is just naturally suspicious. Listen to
me. Listen to me, young man. Did the Kingfish take you into
that plant to steal Load's plans? No, sir, absolutely not. I
see hennessy. What is the chart? Show no guilty reaction on any of
the key questions, sir? Well, boys, I guess you've been telling
the truth about the clock. Looks like we're up the wrong street. You
mean that we can go, mister, Yes, I'm sorry about this,
but we have to check into these things. I guess you were pretty sore
at me there for a while. But well, I'm not such a bad
guy, am I. Oh no, sir, I think you as a
swell fella. I tell you, amos, I'm gonna split this whole thing
wide open and let people know what's going on here in this country. Now,
I take it easy, and it way take it easy. Nothing.
I gets electric clock with a lifetime guarantee. The clock don't work, I
try to get it fixed and nearly end up an electric chair, and then
will your flee has calmed down? Listen, I has done already rid a
letter to President Roosevelt telling him how his citizens is going to get getting pushed
around. Oh now, look, and the President Roosevelt don't handle things like
that. Well, somebody in the government ought to do something about it.
What is I paying all these taxes for that I would pay if I was
paying any And what did you write to President Roosevelt? Well, you see,
all this happen because the clock didn't work in the first place. So
I rid him to the order to see that the clock companies make good clocks
with good wire in them, and good cock wheels and good everything else.
Oh, I don't think you would have done that, And well why not?
Like I say, if that clock would have worked in the office this
morning, it would have saved everybody a lot of trouble. Oh, come
in lightning. What do they say lightning? Well, Ms Sandy. I
took the clock over to the electric company and they say it ain't nothing wrong
with the clock. As you me. Yeah, you ain't paid your bill
for two months and you'll lect trust if in turned off. Make sure that
you don't miss the amoson Andy show next Friday night at the same time when
the kingfish and and they get into a fancy mix up at a masquerade ball.
Our program is broadcast to our arms forces everywhere. This is Harlow Wilcox.
And before I say good night, here's one more thing. You know,
there's only one reason that we keep asking you to turn in your waist
fats. That reason is that the need is urgent, so urgent that it's
one of your most important jobs. It doesn't matter how many times they've been
used. Those fats will yield crystal clear essential material for ammunition and medicine.
Your meat dealer will pay you and give you two red points for every pound
of used fat you turn in. Not in a glass container, please,
any tin can will do, Thank you, and good night,