1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:08,080 Let's get the obvious out of the way. Being a PI sucks. It's 2 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:13,720 not what you think. It's pretty much harassing women. Men hire pis to 3 00:00:13,759 --> 00:00:17,960 go harass their wives and girlfriends. Once in a blue moon you get asked 4 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:22,760 to find a missing dog or to harass a man instead. But that's it, 5 00:00:22,839 --> 00:00:28,399 really. Sometimes I'm looking for hard evidence of infidelity, but a lot 6 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:32,880 of the time my clients just want to rattle the soon to be x to 7 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:38,000 make them paranoid and jittery and less reliable in a courtroom, or less likely 8 00:00:38,119 --> 00:00:42,000 to pay attention to the small print agreements. That's stiff them out of the 9 00:00:42,079 --> 00:00:48,280 holiday home. So that's my job. I'm a pawn, and it is 10 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:52,479 almost always on behalf of the kind of men who think women reading a book 11 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:59,159 in public are secretly looking for male attention. I don't have an office. 12 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:03,960 I did for a while, but things are tough, as I'm sure many 13 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:10,319 of you know, and PI work isn't exactly lucrative. I don't know why 14 00:01:10,359 --> 00:01:15,760 I'm still doing this job except to say I'm my own boss and it's not 15 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:22,519 easy out there. I went into this with vastly different expectations. If anyone 16 00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:26,719 wants to hire someone who's convicted of insurance fraud or training to be a police 17 00:01:26,719 --> 00:01:32,680 officer. Let me know. Otherwise, I'm on my own, following people 18 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:40,319 in cars and sleeping in dingy motels. So when someone reached out looking for 19 00:01:40,359 --> 00:01:44,519 a guide to stalk them, I just figured it was a fetish thing. 20 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:49,120 I got a nephew who went to art school and makes big bugs, painting 21 00:01:49,159 --> 00:01:53,760 cartoon characters doing messed up stuff. He ain't painting the Sistine Chapel, but 22 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:59,799 he pays the bills and looks after his family. I figured if that work 23 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:05,680 is good enough for him, it's good enough for me. So I met 24 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:10,319 the woman and was surprised at how normal she looked. It was in a 25 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:15,759 public place, a park, with a nice bench, and even though it 26 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,639 was starting to rain a little, we didn't let it bother us either. 27 00:02:21,199 --> 00:02:25,479 We sat there, two tape recorders running, and hashed it out. She 28 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:30,199 said she liked me. If she hadn't, she would have gotten out of 29 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:37,919 a car. That was flattering coming from her. Good looking woman professional. 30 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:42,879 I didn't know at the time, but I quickly figured out she was a 31 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:50,800 forensic accountant. Anyway, we got talking. She never gave me her motivation, 32 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:57,280 but I would later come to understand her as an amateur narcissist. She 33 00:02:57,439 --> 00:03:01,800 was new at loving herself. She was smart, accomplished, and she was 34 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:07,000 actually rather beautiful, provided he didn't spend a great deal of time agonizing over 35 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:13,639 things like symmetry or eyebrows, and instead paid attention to how a smile reaches 36 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:19,520 the eyes or how laughter sounds when it catches some one by surprise. But 37 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:23,400 she grew up dirt poor and spent a teen years unable to visit the dentist 38 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:29,560 or access to jim, or even eat home cooked food that wasn't microwaved. 39 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:35,639 Plump frame, lotchy skin, hair kept short with a pair of scissors because 40 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,639 her and her mother relied on the shampoo and soap they stole from the motel 41 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:45,639 where they shared cleaning shifts. When she fumbled all good questions at some of 42 00:03:45,639 --> 00:03:51,319 the better looking boys in her class, she rarely met with success. That's 43 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:54,759 not to say she was an outcast either. She had a social life. 44 00:03:55,639 --> 00:04:00,919 It's just or kids have to grow up early. Prom is a luxury. 45 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:10,719 Eating isn't if you know you know, Otherwise you might be surprised by how 46 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:15,560 tough it can be for some kids in this country. Anyway, she got 47 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:19,839 out of that hole, fought tooth and nail, got an education, a 48 00:04:19,879 --> 00:04:25,079 good job, and by the time she finished the victory lap and took stock 49 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:29,360 of her life, she was thirty five years old, in a thousand miles 50 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:34,920 from the trailer she was raised in, and she looked good. The woman 51 00:04:35,079 --> 00:04:41,240 in the mirror was a stranger that she wanted to get to know. I 52 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:45,800 think hiring me was an act of self love. I think if she could 53 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,360 have, she would have sat in a car and watched herself get a cup 54 00:04:48,399 --> 00:04:54,920 of coffee, spying closely at the professional looking woman doing a little half run, 55 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,639 half skiff to get out of the rain. The way she stood in 56 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,279 line, rocking back and forth on her heels to the music in her AirPods, 57 00:05:01,639 --> 00:05:08,839 thinking no one would notice. She wanted to admire herself, but unable 58 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:14,600 to time travel or clone herself, she instead resorted to hiring me as a 59 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:20,040 kind of proxy. I had my own boundaries, of course, they covered 60 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:25,680 anything that was going to get me in trouble. The gist of the contract, 61 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,519 after a nice week spent meeting after work and talking was that I was 62 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:39,480 the follower as often as I could and just observer photos, videos, secret 63 00:05:39,519 --> 00:05:46,399 recordings, occasionally a little bit more nothing physical. For example, one time 64 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:51,519 I inventored a handbag after she left it in a taxi by accident. I'm 65 00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:56,480 not a photographer, but something about all those knick knacks laid out on a 66 00:05:56,519 --> 00:06:01,600 motel bed, snapped with black and white polaroid. It looked good, like 67 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:06,319 something you'd see in a fancy gallery, avant gard as my nephew would say. 68 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:15,399 She loved it, paid me a bonus for it and everything. Anyway. 69 00:06:15,759 --> 00:06:23,240 This carried on like this for about six months. There were interesting times, 70 00:06:24,399 --> 00:06:29,560 tailing across train stations, racing across open parking lots to install a tracker 71 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,160 and a car, standing on a bridge and dropping an air tag in a 72 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:36,360 bag as she walked past. It was a little bit like being a spy. 73 00:06:38,319 --> 00:06:43,639 She even paid me to buy high end equipment, crazy stuff. One 74 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,120 camera. I could sit to my balcony and read the texts on a phone 75 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:51,240 from a block away. Occasionally there were days where I couldn't or wouldn't keep 76 00:06:51,319 --> 00:06:58,879 up the required intensity. Stalking requires a lot of cardio. When that happened 77 00:06:59,199 --> 00:07:02,560 and I didn't feel like following her into a crowded place or sprinting half way 78 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:10,399 around town following her car. I do research. I'd investigate who this woman 79 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:15,240 had once been. I created fake Facebook profiles and tracked down old school friends, 80 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:20,639 spoke to former teachers, lovers, all of that. The whole job 81 00:07:20,759 --> 00:07:24,959 was a matter of mapping her out. That she was a country, you 82 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:30,120 know, and a country isn't just hills and rivers and borders. Countries have 83 00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:38,360 history. She was happy with my initiative. The text she sent me when 84 00:07:38,399 --> 00:07:43,560 I showed her the research folder was a glowing commendation, first one I'd had 85 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:49,160 in a long time. It was nice someone telling me good job. She 86 00:07:49,199 --> 00:07:53,600 had a real way of making me feel like a kid getting a gold star. 87 00:07:55,279 --> 00:07:59,360 I didn't realize at the time, but I was putty in her hands, 88 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:05,279 head over heels. Bless my stupid heart. Of course, I didn't 89 00:08:05,279 --> 00:08:09,920 know what I was getting into, but I'd had just enough time to grow 90 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:16,439 over confident. I made the mistake of thinking that I wasn't going to find 91 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:22,720 anything in the past that it give me trouble. Sleeping boy, did I 92 00:08:22,839 --> 00:08:30,480 get that one damn wrong. Her mother. That's where things took an odd 93 00:08:30,519 --> 00:08:35,840 turn. Now I knew from news reports the mother died in their trailer while 94 00:08:35,879 --> 00:08:39,440 her daughter was off staying at some boyfriend's place for a few days. Natural 95 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:45,279 causes, it read. I wanted to know a little more about what natural 96 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:50,639 causes there were. Figured if there was some congenital thing, it seemed like 97 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:54,320 maybe I ought to know. You'd think the way the trailer park owner reacted 98 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:58,080 to me asking about it, I tried asking the Russian government for proof of 99 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:03,919 a democratic elect thin, reedy little woman who gave me hell the moment I 100 00:09:05,039 --> 00:09:09,240 mentioned a name. What do you want to know that for? Who's asking? 101 00:09:09,519 --> 00:09:13,360 Who's paying you? Why do you want to dig this up? Now? 102 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:18,639 She ripped me to pieces. I put it down to the natural sprinkling 103 00:09:18,639 --> 00:09:22,720 of crazies in the standard population, and took a different act. Started calling 104 00:09:22,799 --> 00:09:28,480 up the older folks in the park residents. Every single one of them put 105 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:35,679 the phone down on me the second I mentioned the name, well, all 106 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:41,960 of them except one. Some people want to talk, and this ord bugger 107 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:46,240 was one of them. He had a lot to say about everything from the 108 00:09:46,279 --> 00:09:52,000 president to social media, and I let him ramble on before starting to press 109 00:09:52,039 --> 00:09:56,919 my point. Told him at the start I was a historian looking into the 110 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:01,960 local area. That made it so wasn't too suspicious when I began asking about 111 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:07,000 this and that, slowly making my way to the death of a fifty three 112 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:13,480 year old woman a couple of trailers down from him some years ago. Again, 113 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:18,000 soon as I mentioned a name, there was a change in the air, 114 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:22,360 even over the phone. For a second I thought this old guy was 115 00:10:22,399 --> 00:10:26,240 going to hang up, just like the others. Could hear him smacking his 116 00:10:26,399 --> 00:10:33,960 dry lips as he molded over forran scene. Didn't deserve what happened to her, 117 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:39,159 he said after a while. She was a good woman. Didn't treat 118 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:43,960 the daughter too good neither, but didn't deserve what happened. Maybe if they'd 119 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,320 found her earlier, some of those fellows in white coats could have got more 120 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:52,639 evidence. But that little wretch of hers away, But from what I understand, 121 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:58,200 weren't much left of her at all. Then he hung up, leaving 122 00:10:58,279 --> 00:11:07,159 me with a whole lot of questions. This frustrated me. I had until 123 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:13,240 now had a fair bit of luck at this new profession of mine. They 124 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,759 say, be careful what you get good at. Sad truth was, I 125 00:11:16,799 --> 00:11:22,159 was getting good at stalking, and this was my first real roadblock. I 126 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:26,039 remembered the way I felt when she told me good job, and it bothered 127 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:31,600 me. I couldn't really say much about this critical part of her life. 128 00:11:31,919 --> 00:11:37,240 That, and well, maybe I still got a chip on my shoulder about 129 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:41,840 being a failed policeman. If you give me a problem, I can sometimes 130 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:46,960 drive myself crazy looking for a fix. So I hopped in my car and 131 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:52,159 drove to the trailer park down near on the other side of the country. 132 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:56,000 Don't know what I was hoping to find. No way, the trailer was 133 00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:01,200 still there, and it wasn't. But what I found odd was the lot 134 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:07,759 hadn't been replaced. There was a hole in the ground about the right size, 135 00:12:07,879 --> 00:12:11,480 and nothing else, just an empty spot where the trailer had once stood. 136 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:18,320 And the trailers on either side weren't occupied either. I could tell by 137 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:22,519 politely and legally looking through the windows. Most of them were cleared out, 138 00:12:24,399 --> 00:12:28,279 but a few weren't. They still had plates and other knick knacks left hanging 139 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:35,080 around, like the owners had left without bothering to pack. You shouldn't hang 140 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:39,279 around here, mister. The girl who appeared stood a good twenty feet away, 141 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:45,039 shouting over the wind so as to be heard. Smell can make you 142 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:50,039 awful sick. I wrangled my nose, aware of the odor she was talking 143 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:56,360 about, had been since I approached the empty lot, A faint, musty 144 00:12:56,399 --> 00:13:01,360 smell that made me think of an exotic pet shop. What do you mean 145 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:07,120 the smell makes you sick? She said it like it was self explanatory. 146 00:13:07,039 --> 00:13:11,159 Woman who died there left behind an awful stench, made the neighbors sick, 147 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:15,559 and the neighbors neighbors, and so on. For a couple of trailers in 148 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:20,360 a row, no one likes to live there now, still can't. Had 149 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:22,919 a couple move in a year or two back, and they got sick too. 150 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,320 Daddy says, it's a bad one. Not even the rats go near 151 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:33,679 that hole. The smell wasn't pretty, But this trailer park will go to 152 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:39,399 the kind of place where hubcaps went missing regularly. Figured they would have been 153 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:45,759 used to bad smells. What made this one so special? I looked over 154 00:13:45,919 --> 00:13:52,360 at the girl, Where is your dad? A few minutes later I stood 155 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:58,720 outside a trailer, waiting pensively. The little girl had disappeared inside to fetch 156 00:13:58,759 --> 00:14:03,120 her father. And since then I've been sat listening to the quietest trailer park 157 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:11,240 in the whole world crickets and silence, traffic and a distant highway place was 158 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:16,360 dying. That much was clear. When the father finally made an appearance, 159 00:14:16,879 --> 00:14:22,600 he said nothing for the first few minutes. Lit a cigarette offered me one. 160 00:14:22,639 --> 00:14:28,919 I refused, an account of having quit some time back. After a 161 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:33,039 while, he spoke up, I'd invite you in, bun. You've been 162 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:37,639 hanging around that old lot. Not sure, I won't you inside my home. 163 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:43,399 No offense, none taken, I replied. Sally says you're a historian. 164 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:50,519 The man wasn't terribly old, mid thirties at a guess, but he 165 00:14:50,559 --> 00:14:54,919 looked me up and down like I was a teenager caught thrown eggs at his 166 00:14:54,000 --> 00:15:01,919 house. What are you really p a? I replied, Ah, now 167 00:15:01,919 --> 00:15:05,399 that makes sense. Some relative looking for answers her. The Henderson's had a 168 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:11,440 sister with money. That's exactly it, I lied. She didn't buy the 169 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:18,080 official story, nor should she, he replied. Henderson was fitness a fiddle 170 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,799 day he moved in. Were no justice in what happened to those who got 171 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:26,440 sick? And poor friend scene. They say she died of natural causes. 172 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:31,279 Man, Even back then, I knew it was nonsense. And I was 173 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:35,840 just a little kid. The smell alone. I think it's bad now, 174 00:15:35,919 --> 00:15:39,000 but at the time before they came in with a crane to lift the trailer 175 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:45,080 up hole and move it to the dump, it was something awful. There 176 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,960 was talk of moving the whole park. Of course, no one gave enough 177 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,279 of a damn to give us the go ahead and actually do it. What 178 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:58,799 did she die of? Don't know. Only thing I'm sure of is that 179 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,759 Earl of Francine's lide said her mother was live and well when she left before 180 00:16:03,759 --> 00:16:08,639 the weekend, and there was always on good terms. But that was nonsense. 181 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:14,519 We heard him fighting four weeks before, for one, and of course 182 00:16:14,559 --> 00:16:18,879 the body stated was in ain't no way he'd been rotten for just a few 183 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:26,360 days. He offered me another cigarette. I refused. He lit it up 184 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:32,320 instead, second one, and what felt like just a few minutes made me 185 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:37,120 itchy, just to see. I wanted to say something, anything, to 186 00:16:37,159 --> 00:16:41,279 get a little bit more, but I told a big lie, pretending to 187 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:45,279 be there on someone else's behalf, and didn't want to catch myself out, 188 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:49,799 so I just sat and listened to the quiet buzz of his little patio light. 189 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:56,080 After the second cigarette, was done. He reached into his back pocket 190 00:16:56,360 --> 00:17:02,840 and took out an old photo. I hope you find justice for Henderson and 191 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:07,319 the rest of them, he said, only real bit of proof I ever 192 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:14,000 had of something fishy going on. He handed me the picture. Was it 193 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:18,119 easy to see what I was looking at? Pile of old leaves, maybe 194 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:23,079 mulch. I squinted at it for a good few seconds, but couldn't make 195 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:30,400 heads or tails out of it. What took that? The day they arrived 196 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,039 to get rid of the trailer, had to stand on my friend's shoulders just 197 00:17:33,039 --> 00:17:40,359 to reach What is it? I asked, my skin starting to crawl as 198 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:45,039 I picked out details whatever I was looking at. He was slumped on the 199 00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:51,119 sofa with floral wallpaper in the background. It was about the size of a 200 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:56,079 man, but riddled with holes and cavities the size of golf balls. In 201 00:17:56,160 --> 00:18:02,839 my whole life, I'd never seen something that like that. Why that's friend 202 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:07,640 sine, he said, or at least what was left of her. He 203 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:12,640 let me keep the photo, and I guess that was the only interesting thing 204 00:18:12,799 --> 00:18:17,440 that had ever happened to that man, and he'd been waiting to share it 205 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:22,000 with someone. All I had to do was give him an excuse. He 206 00:18:22,039 --> 00:18:26,359 seemed to take some pleasure in passing it on. Suddenly found my reaction to 207 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:32,440 be amusing. I must have gone pale as I grappled with thoughts of what 208 00:18:32,519 --> 00:18:37,519 had happened to make a body go bad like that? Back in the hotel 209 00:18:37,799 --> 00:18:42,880 under a good light, I checked that picture again and again. Something about 210 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:49,279 it made me deeply uncomfortable, knowing a woman was under all that. All 211 00:18:49,319 --> 00:18:53,880 those holes and crevices must have been made in a flesh, And what had 212 00:18:53,920 --> 00:19:00,880 happened to a skin that had turned in such a funny texture looked for like 213 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,759 the kind of thing that grows on top I've a long forgotten cup of coffee. 214 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:11,319 A part of me considered asking my client about this, but I knew 215 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:15,799 that wasn't the way to go. First, she probably wouldn't tell me good 216 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:19,960 job if I had to ask. She hired me to do a certain thing, 217 00:19:21,759 --> 00:19:26,960 and that didn't involve politely requesting information right from the sauce. Second, 218 00:19:27,759 --> 00:19:34,000 well, i'd read the police reports or was publicly available anyway, and she'd 219 00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:38,200 made it clear she'd left on the Friday and came home on the Monday, 220 00:19:40,519 --> 00:19:47,319 And well, what if that guy was right? Did she really leave a 221 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:52,119 mother alive? And well, I mean people kill, not just psychos, 222 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:59,039 people like you and me. We'd do it every day, and sometimes we 223 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:03,240 even pull it off. Only half of us murders get solved. That's a 224 00:20:03,319 --> 00:20:08,000 fact. If anyone could be the right half of that equation, it'd be 225 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:14,359 her. She was smart as hell, my client, Even at seventeen, 226 00:20:14,519 --> 00:20:18,799 she would have been a clever one, clever enough that she might easily have 227 00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:22,079 been able to cover her tracks, gone over to some boyfriend, twisted his 228 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:29,720 arm into giving her an alibi. Sure, I could see that. I 229 00:20:29,839 --> 00:20:33,519 just needed to figure out what the hell was going on with that crime scene 230 00:20:33,519 --> 00:20:37,920 in the trailer. Thankfully, I got some friends still on the force, 231 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:42,400 one of which I even have a bit of leverage on. At first, 232 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:47,839 he couldn't find much on the actual mother, but then I asked him to 233 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:52,160 see if he could take the photo. I had show it around and see 234 00:20:52,279 --> 00:20:56,319 if anyone had seen something like it before. That proved a lot more fruitful. 235 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:02,839 A few days later he came back with a strange one, but straight 236 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:11,559 away I saw the connection. I'll spare the details. Old man was found 237 00:21:11,599 --> 00:21:15,680 in a tub, all sorts of messed up in some old apartment building. 238 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:21,000 It had since been condemned on account of the body, which is fairly weird 239 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:26,319 since bodies don't usually cause that much fuss, but less weird when you realize 240 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:30,920 that said body was in such a bad state it made three people sick and 241 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:36,920 caused long lasting structural damage. Whatever happened to this guy. It ate through 242 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,839 the tub he'd been lying in and seeped into the floors and walls below, 243 00:21:41,599 --> 00:21:45,160 turned plaster boor to mulch, and apparently even caused some trouble for the sturdier 244 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:52,160 elements like steel and concrete. I don't know how that works exactly, but 245 00:21:52,279 --> 00:21:56,960 that's what the file said, and going by the photos, I didn't feel 246 00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:02,880 like anyone was lying. As for the photos, why can I say, 247 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:10,319 may my skin crawl? No blurry little polaroid snapped by a kid. These 248 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:15,559 were professional crime scene pictures that showed something in a tub that didn't register as 249 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:19,839 human until my eyes went looking for details. He looked like a hairy paper 250 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:26,240 wasp's nest, only there were fingers and nipples and other little things that made 251 00:22:26,279 --> 00:22:32,160 it clear it had been built using a person as the framework. No face, 252 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:37,799 though, just a head like a pile of used paper plates. Looking 253 00:22:37,839 --> 00:22:41,400 at those photos made me learn a new word just to describe how I felt. 254 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:49,200 Trip of phobia wasn't just one guy. Either building was linked to the 255 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:56,200 disappearance of the groundful tenant, some computer geek. I didn't worry about him 256 00:22:56,240 --> 00:23:00,960 too much, for what did catch my eye was there was only one woman 257 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:07,480 living in the whole place, second floor apartment. The registered name was somewhat 258 00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:12,079 familiar, close enough to a certain someone's that it raised the hairs of my 259 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:18,480 neck. Please said the scene managed to get a photo of her, and 260 00:23:18,559 --> 00:23:23,559 sure enough, there she was, my client, going by a different name. 261 00:23:25,519 --> 00:23:30,920 Clearly something fishy was going on or else? Why the pseudonym? I 262 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,880 figured it possible she'd maybe after her own mother. Parents and spouses make the 263 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:41,640 most common victims. But what connection was there to that second corpse, and 264 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:47,200 what about the missing guy. It was like a horror movie was following her 265 00:23:47,279 --> 00:23:53,200 around and she was just blissfully unaware. Condemned buildings investering trailers made for a 266 00:23:53,240 --> 00:24:00,319 far cry from the professional accountant who enjoyed oat milk lattes the new sweetener instead 267 00:24:00,319 --> 00:24:06,640 of sugar to spare her teeth. But there was no denying that she was 268 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:11,599 connected. There was photographic proof she lived in that building, and if I 269 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:15,680 wanted to get ahead of this, to really understand what was going on, 270 00:24:17,559 --> 00:24:22,559 I had to figure out what had happened to those bodies. I had pretty 271 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:26,799 much exhausted my favors with the police, and truth was, they didn't know 272 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:33,160 any more than I did. But it turned out the building was still standing 273 00:24:33,079 --> 00:24:38,039 condemned, but they hadn't demolished it, partly because no one wanted to take 274 00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:44,359 responsibility. But I reckon it might have had something to do with the bio 275 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:49,759 hazard warnings slapped on every single window and door. Good thing I brought a 276 00:24:49,839 --> 00:24:56,279 cast mask. I waited for sunset, geared up, and entered through the 277 00:24:56,359 --> 00:25:03,000 unlocked door. First thing that hit me the door sung open was the smell 278 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:08,880 similar to the trailer park, but full pelt and hot as well. Made 279 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:14,720 me think of lizards and poorly kept terrariums, strong enough to make my eyes 280 00:25:14,799 --> 00:25:19,799 water even through the mask. One thing was clear as they took a look 281 00:25:19,839 --> 00:25:27,079 around the hallway. The building was diseased, not just run down or decrepit 282 00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:34,079 like the usual urban decay. This was something else, look like the inside 283 00:25:34,079 --> 00:25:40,759 of a clogged pipe. You know how lime scale fills it up. It 284 00:25:40,799 --> 00:25:45,960 was a bit like that. This oily, rusty colored fluid had seeped down 285 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:52,000 the walls and left them glistening and soft. Roby stalactites of the stuff hung 286 00:25:52,079 --> 00:25:56,599 down from the ceiling like old party banners, and I edged around them, 287 00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:03,160 afraid of what might happen if one touched. The best guess was that stuff 288 00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:10,680 was digesting the place. Anything soft or organic was going or gone. Old 289 00:26:10,759 --> 00:26:15,559 umbrella frames were left standing in one corner, the fabric burnt or dissolved away. 290 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:19,519 The carpet was reduced to just a few patches no bigger than my hand, 291 00:26:21,279 --> 00:26:25,880 and a bunch of old cardboard boxes piled up under the stairs had turned 292 00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:40,160 squat and half liquid, almost flowing down and around each other. The worst 293 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:44,559 came when I took a look around the back room, more of a broom 294 00:26:44,599 --> 00:26:48,559 closet. I guess wouldn't have gone in, but something caught my eye, 295 00:26:49,039 --> 00:26:56,359 a well worn shoe that wasn't covered in oily stuff, sign of recent activity. 296 00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:00,640 That and the way the door was a jar, just raised my suspicions, 297 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:10,200 so I took a lock. Even now, the timeline eludes me, 298 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:15,559 but someone, a vagrant, most likely, given the way they were dressed, 299 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:22,640 died a nasty death in their chemical burns come to mind. They were 300 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:26,480 bailed up in one corner, eyeless, looking up at me as I pushed 301 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:32,759 the door open to take a close look. Pink flesh threaded with red blood, 302 00:27:32,839 --> 00:27:37,000 vessels, yellow bones poking through here and there. From the looks of 303 00:27:37,039 --> 00:27:41,920 things they've been trying to work the door open, you could see a history 304 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:48,759 of their escape attempts, left by bleeding hands. Rust colored fingerstreaks ran all 305 00:27:48,759 --> 00:27:53,880 along the door's edges. Special attention paid to the hinges, and he'd broken 306 00:27:55,039 --> 00:27:59,680 the only window and tried hauling himself up there, only to realize it was 307 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:03,279 bar from the other side. The jagged glass that still clung to the frame 308 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:08,279 was covered in old blood. His palms must have looked like grated cheese. 309 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:17,519 Eventually he'd given up and laid down in that mess, and the thoughts of 310 00:28:17,559 --> 00:28:22,720 it made my chest feel heavy and tight. I'd only been in the building 311 00:28:22,759 --> 00:28:27,519 a few minutes and that stuff was already eating through my shoes. I could 312 00:28:27,559 --> 00:28:33,000 hear the thick rubber soul sizzle and pop with each step. But that guy, 313 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:37,039 I'd been forced to sit down in an inch deep bottle of the stuff, 314 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:42,519 likely because exhaustion had left him no choice but to tough it out. 315 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:52,720 So how long had he tried to stay upright? Hours, days, weeks? 316 00:28:53,119 --> 00:28:56,920 Him getting stuck in there had to be deliberate. I was sure of 317 00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:03,680 it, a feeling in my Someone had locked the door behind him and left 318 00:29:03,759 --> 00:29:11,200 him to die slowly. God only knows why. But did that mean there 319 00:29:11,279 --> 00:29:17,519 was still hanging around and waiting for a chance to get to me? Looking 320 00:29:17,559 --> 00:29:22,599 around, I sure didn't feel safe for a loan. The shadows seemed too 321 00:29:22,599 --> 00:29:29,440 deep, and the steady drip, drip drip of that rancid oil oozing out 322 00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:34,640 of every surface was too monotonous. Someone or something lived in that filth, 323 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:44,720 and chances were they'd been responsible for that poor vagrance agonizing death. That meant 324 00:29:45,079 --> 00:29:49,400 getting out of that hell hole was a priority. So I made for the 325 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:53,880 stairs and started to climb. If there were any answers in that place. 326 00:29:55,400 --> 00:30:00,319 It had been the apartment where the old man died. The crime scene tape 327 00:30:00,519 --> 00:30:03,039 was still hanging off the door frame when I found it, and the TV 328 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:08,079 and sofa or what remained of them stood in the same place as in the 329 00:30:08,119 --> 00:30:14,119 photos. Back in the day, the old man had been a order, 330 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:18,680 and it was surprised crime scene hadn't cleared all that stuff out. It was 331 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:23,720 all still there. Only what had once been a chest tim maze of papers 332 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:30,640 and magazines was now just kind of hardened pulp, almost like magma dried mid 333 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:34,480 flow. A whole damn place was covered in the stuff, like coral reef 334 00:30:36,039 --> 00:30:40,640 growing up the walls and even patches of the ceiling. Looked a hell of 335 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:45,240 a lot like a wasp's nest, and it looked to be the source of 336 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:49,720 that oily looking fluid. You could see it sweating out of every crease and 337 00:30:49,759 --> 00:30:56,319 fold in that strange hive. It was almost hypnotic to look at glistening amber 338 00:30:56,359 --> 00:31:03,279 beads oozing out of papery sheets that flowed like rock strata. There was a 339 00:31:03,359 --> 00:31:12,440 gentle, barely perceptible rhythm, hypnotic. I don't know why, but I 340 00:31:12,559 --> 00:31:17,880 reached out and ran the tip of my finger as gently as I could along 341 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:22,880 the surface. It felt like the underside of a mushroom, all those papery 342 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:30,039 gills, gossamer, thin, soft and inviting. I wore no gloves, 343 00:31:30,359 --> 00:31:34,359 and the brief moments of contact had deposited a single bead of that strange syrup 344 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:41,400 on my fingertip. It caused the tingling sensation that was not entirely unpleasant. 345 00:31:41,559 --> 00:31:47,039 Even the blood had trickled down My knuckle felt warm and wet, like testing 346 00:31:47,079 --> 00:31:52,480 a hot bath with your hand. I liked it, and I wanted more. 347 00:31:53,279 --> 00:31:56,559 I went to reach out and push my arm into the nest when a 348 00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:01,240 hand burst out of the nest and gripped my wrist. I was so surprised 349 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:06,799 I didn't even make a noise, but instead wordlessly fell back as the hand 350 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:12,480 pushed me away from the nest. A nearly skinless forearm followed, and soon 351 00:32:12,559 --> 00:32:19,039 after her face emerged from the papery nest like a grime covered nightmare, black 352 00:32:19,039 --> 00:32:22,400 eyes and her lipless mouth. It was a man that could have passed for 353 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:29,720 a corpse, like a half digested piece of meat. Terrified and struggled to 354 00:32:29,759 --> 00:32:36,000 my feet and realized that this person had broken down near every bone in my 355 00:32:36,079 --> 00:32:43,359 wrist with that single grip. Your meat smells raw, he growled, before 356 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:49,519 heaving himself out of the nest in a disgusting parody of childbirth. My sanity 357 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,160 flickered, and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground floor, 358 00:32:52,279 --> 00:32:58,720 with bleeding eyes and both hands frantically pulling at the door handle. My 359 00:32:58,839 --> 00:33:04,039 mind returned and peace. I blinked red tears away, but didn't stop trying 360 00:33:04,079 --> 00:33:09,839 to open the door. I felt it that urgent need to leave, like 361 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:15,880 a suffocating man feels the need to breathe. But I'd missed up bad. 362 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:20,839 I'd sniffed out of the closet and saw the trap laid there, but hadn't 363 00:33:20,839 --> 00:33:24,559 seen the larger one set for me. There was only one way in and 364 00:33:24,599 --> 00:33:30,920 out of that building, and I hadn't jammed the door open. Now it 365 00:33:30,039 --> 00:33:36,559 was shut, and nothing I did could get it open. With more time, 366 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,480 maybe I could have pried the jamb or even kicked it down. But 367 00:33:39,519 --> 00:33:45,119 my heart was raising and my vision was blurring. I wanted out of that 368 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:50,359 place, a hot, primal need to get the hell out. The air 369 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:54,400 was too hot, my mask too stifling. Sweat condensed on the inner plastic 370 00:33:54,720 --> 00:34:00,599 and made it damn near. I possible to see, and the pain in 371 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:07,960 my wrist was a throbbing explosion that made sensible thought impossible. I'd realized early 372 00:34:07,039 --> 00:34:13,320 on into my little fray that I was underprepared for the scale of what that 373 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:17,800 meant. Eluded me until I was there, wrestling with thoughts of exposure and 374 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:23,679 contagion and disease, fumbling at a greasy doorknob with a broken hand while suppressing 375 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:30,440 thoughts of what might be crawling up my leg or back or neck. Panic 376 00:34:30,559 --> 00:34:35,800 threatened to consume me. The world and all the normality it represented, was 377 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:39,800 right down there. I could hear it, the distant hum of traffic, 378 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:45,920 the amberglow of street light that lit up the biohazard posters. Not thirty minutes 379 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:51,320 ago, i'd been there, safe and far away from this waking nightmare. 380 00:34:52,079 --> 00:34:57,280 I was being reduced to a prey animal. Even in the moment, I 381 00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:01,400 could scent it happening to me, being made into something lesser. But it 382 00:35:01,519 --> 00:35:07,159 was like my actions were no longer my own. When I finally gave up 383 00:35:07,159 --> 00:35:10,440 on that front door, I turned around and saw the shadows way back at 384 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:17,239 the hallway begin to shift as something descended the stairwell. There was no other 385 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:23,400 way out, no door, no window, just me, a long corridor 386 00:35:24,519 --> 00:35:36,280 and a nightmare coming right at me. Something inside me gave up. I 387 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:39,440 don't know how to describe it. I'm still not sure if it was that 388 00:35:39,559 --> 00:35:44,880 building and that strange fluid that seemed to walk my own thoughts, or maybe 389 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:49,239 there's just too much one person can go through. But I could practically hear 390 00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:53,559 the thin membrane of my sanity tear as I fell backwards into the door and 391 00:35:53,679 --> 00:36:00,880 slid down breathlessly, awaiting my terrible fate. I almost contump, turning off 392 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:06,440 my light, but by then he was too late. I could see him 393 00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:12,960 coming towards me. He was legless, nothing from the waist down except black 394 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:17,480 and viscera trailing up the stairs behind him. He pulled himself towards hand over 395 00:36:17,559 --> 00:36:22,880 hand with hungry eyes. Before I knew it, he was on top of 396 00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:29,079 me, one hand gripping my mouth with a salty palm, the other stroking 397 00:36:29,119 --> 00:36:37,079 my hair, And then, in an instant, his demeanor changed. He 398 00:36:37,159 --> 00:36:40,440 bawled back with a terrified cry and scrambled away like had just struck him with 399 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:45,280 a blade. No no, no, no, no, no, he 400 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:49,960 muttered, No no, you should have said, you should have said. 401 00:36:50,159 --> 00:36:52,440 I didn't know. I thought you were another one. I didn't know. 402 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,400 I thought you were here for me. I didn't know you are hearse. 403 00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:00,920 He cowered away, peddling on both hands, back or keeping his eyes fixed 404 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:06,400 on me. Tell her I did not know you were hers. I could 405 00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:09,159 not smell until I was close, very close. If I hurt you, 406 00:37:09,199 --> 00:37:12,800 I am sorry. Tell her, I am sorry. I did not mean 407 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:15,119 to hurt you. It is just I do not get to eat often, 408 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:21,719 and I'm always hungry. With a rabbit gesture, he threw the key for 409 00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:25,159 the door at me. It skittered across the floor and fell just short at 410 00:37:25,199 --> 00:37:31,000 my feet. Tell her I did not know. What are you, I 411 00:37:31,079 --> 00:37:40,079 stammered. He looked at me curiously, stopping his retreat only briefly to cage 412 00:37:40,079 --> 00:37:45,800 my expression. She likes to be seen what I looked without asking, and 413 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:51,960 I got what I deserve. Who are you talking about, I asked. 414 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:58,599 He very nearly laughed, but with such deformities, it was mostly a drooling 415 00:37:58,679 --> 00:38:05,079 goffer. You know, he gasped. Don't be stupid. You're in love 416 00:38:05,119 --> 00:38:09,760 with her, just like me, but different. You got permission. I 417 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:15,280 didn't, But she was good. She left me an old nest to live 418 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:22,119 in, and I've permission to eat anything I kill or trap myself hard now 419 00:38:22,119 --> 00:38:29,920 that people know to stay away, But sometimes I get lucky. His eyes 420 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:34,880 flicked at the closet with sickening hunger. What has this got to do with 421 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:40,679 her? I asked, what color are her eyes? He replied, almost 422 00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:45,679 manic with excitement, and sir, Hans, Sir, tell me, tell 423 00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:52,199 me what color her eyes? I stopped. The word felt wrong in my 424 00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:58,760 mouth. Blue rap, No, no, he chattered, none of those. 425 00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:06,280 Seemingly excited but afraid. He raced forward momentarily and gripped my lapels with 426 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:14,400 twisted glee. Compound, he hissed, with such forbidden pleasure. Her eyes 427 00:39:14,599 --> 00:39:20,360 are compound. She's jealous of us, you know, jealous. We get 428 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:29,320 to love her. And then he disappeared into the darkness, and something inside 429 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:38,159 me gave way entirely, and I passed out. I don't know much of 430 00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:43,760 what came after exactly. I was found a few hours later in my car, 431 00:39:44,199 --> 00:39:47,559 idling had a traffic light. I'd made some effort at getting away on 432 00:39:47,599 --> 00:39:52,639 my own, but didn't get very far. No surprise here, but I 433 00:39:52,679 --> 00:39:58,079 got sick as a dog going in that place, A deep chest infection, 434 00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,400 the kind that scares everyone at least once in their life. Only fair, 435 00:40:02,519 --> 00:40:08,599 given how stupid I was, Well, forgive me. I hadn't anticipated nightmares 436 00:40:08,639 --> 00:40:15,760 beyond human comprehension. I challenge anybody to think that far ahead. You think 437 00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:22,000 chunkies, you think flies, squatters. But that guy, that man slipping 438 00:40:22,039 --> 00:40:27,639 out of the nest and barreling towards me on two hands, My mind going 439 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:31,400 sizzle pop, along with the soles of my boots. In real life, 440 00:40:32,119 --> 00:40:37,239 things like that always sneak up on you. So I paid the price. 441 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:47,159 Six months, geez, six long months. I got every fever you can 442 00:40:47,199 --> 00:40:52,519 think of, sepsis, kidney failure, liver failure, month after month, 443 00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:58,159 drowning in my own fluids, coughing up stuff that made the nurses gag and 444 00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:01,679 leave. I asked the doctor what the long term effects will be, and 445 00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:06,719 he winced before reading a list of things that didn't leave much hope for a 446 00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:12,239 happy retirement. And if it was hard on my body, it was even 447 00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:17,679 worse on my mind. Those fevered dreams, Doctor, say what I remember 448 00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:22,760 in that building? That was all just part of the sickness. Say, 449 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:27,760 I spent a good three days in a coma and strange dreams of the norm, 450 00:41:28,519 --> 00:41:32,280 which I might accept if it weren't the damn skin craft still healing in 451 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:42,360 my right hand. No one can explain that my client visited just the once. 452 00:41:43,639 --> 00:41:47,119 There are universally sad moments in life, and one of them is realizing 453 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:52,480 someone you have a lot of affection for doesn't have it back. They have 454 00:41:52,639 --> 00:41:58,760 some, just not the same amount. It was always one way, though, 455 00:41:59,039 --> 00:42:02,320 wasn't it. I saw her every single day, but if I was 456 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:07,920 doing my job right, she only saw me once a month for our meetings. 457 00:42:07,639 --> 00:42:14,599 Our arrangement ended not long after, so I hope anyway. She left 458 00:42:14,639 --> 00:42:21,920 me like it was nothing but me. Ah geez. It felt like someone 459 00:42:22,119 --> 00:42:27,079 excavating my heart right out, even after what she told me why she was 460 00:42:27,119 --> 00:42:30,559 there, Even after what I did, I could barely stand up straight. 461 00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:36,760 I was so heart broken. There were times after that I wished the sickness 462 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:42,440 would just take me. Maybe that defeatism is why it got so bad. 463 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:47,400 Who knows. She came to me looking for a recommendation of all things. 464 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,559 She wasn't cold, far from it, but there was a sense of disappointment 465 00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:59,440 as she sat beside me and eyed me up. I liked the initiative, 466 00:43:00,159 --> 00:43:07,000 she said after a while, but the results leave me unimpressed. What the 467 00:43:07,039 --> 00:43:12,119 hell happened in that place? I asked, and even though I could barely 468 00:43:12,159 --> 00:43:16,199 hear my own voice, she seemed like she heard every word. For a 469 00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:21,599 moment, the way she contemplated it, I thought I was going to get 470 00:43:21,639 --> 00:43:25,559 a straight answer. You know, my mother said, men don't see ugly 471 00:43:25,639 --> 00:43:30,119 women. They know they exist, but they just proved them right out of 472 00:43:30,159 --> 00:43:35,960 their mind, like a magic trick. She said, we worked better being 473 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:39,199 a little plain, good enough to take home for a night. Anymore, 474 00:43:39,519 --> 00:43:45,440 and we'd start to leave problems everywhere we go. That guy was a problem. 475 00:43:45,039 --> 00:43:49,400 Sue was trying to warm me about the dangers of attention, but silly 476 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:53,559 me, I went and got addicted. I hoped with you there might be 477 00:43:53,599 --> 00:44:01,480 a degree of separation infatuation on a contractual basis. Yes, she took a 478 00:44:01,519 --> 00:44:06,880 deep breath, like she'd had a long, hard day. I don't know. 479 00:44:07,559 --> 00:44:13,039 Maybe Mom was right. It's ridiculous. I suppose the fly shouldn't admire 480 00:44:13,079 --> 00:44:16,599 the spider. He either sees it and fears it, or doesn't know what's 481 00:44:16,639 --> 00:44:21,840 coming until it's too late. I think Mom was telling me to go for 482 00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:27,920 the latter. It's no fun being invisible, though you spent all that time 483 00:44:28,039 --> 00:44:35,000 looking at me, following me. What did you see. I looked at 484 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:40,360 her until my eyes watered and something throbbed in my skull. I don't know. 485 00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:46,800 I tried to lie, be honest. She looked right at me, 486 00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:54,199 and something in the air changed. I don't know what. Hot geese. 487 00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:59,679 It was hot, like looking at the sun. I remember the heart rate, 488 00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:06,320 MANU are going nuts. And then then I remember gossamer wings and serrated 489 00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,519 kiting, a tick on the side of your cheek, a leech on your 490 00:45:09,519 --> 00:45:15,280 tongue, a horse hair worm that won't leave the skin. And then an 491 00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:20,800 instant later, my eyes refocused and there was just a normal woman in front 492 00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:27,599 of me, someone I could have loved, I answered, unable to stop 493 00:45:27,639 --> 00:45:34,920 the words spilling like vomit. Someone who I thought deserved love. See, 494 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:40,440 she said, who wouldn't like your version better? I was crying again, 495 00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:47,159 heart racing, world like butter, going soft to the edges. Whatever she 496 00:45:47,199 --> 00:45:53,400 did, it was like undergoing brain surgery in real time. I'd like a 497 00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:59,760 recommendation, she said, after another minute or two of silence. I'd like 498 00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,519 to say, I see myself. I look in the mirror and I don't 499 00:46:02,559 --> 00:46:07,960 see what you do. I'd like an artist to paint me a version of 500 00:46:07,039 --> 00:46:12,320 me. At least it won't be easy on them. All this time. 501 00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:15,559 You've probably looked directly at me for no more than five ten minutes in total, 502 00:46:16,599 --> 00:46:21,719 just didn't realize it. Always the back of my head or my hair 503 00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:27,840 obscuring. Just so that won't do. I want to portrait. I want 504 00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:32,840 to know what you see. What will you do? Then? I won't 505 00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:38,119 do anything, not intentionally. But if you ask someone to paint the sun, 506 00:46:38,679 --> 00:46:44,440 expect them to go blind. Whoever paints me will be painting the sun 507 00:46:44,559 --> 00:46:47,920 in their living room, going blind. Here's the least of their problems. 508 00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:54,159 Now, firs up. You know someone? You mentioned them once in passing, 509 00:46:55,119 --> 00:46:59,719 a cousin, maybe an artist in need of cash. I'm sure of 510 00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:06,320 it. Why would I tell you anything? Because you loved me, she 511 00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:12,360 said, And because despite everything, you will get better and you will come 512 00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:16,440 back to me year or two. I think you are adamant I have no 513 00:47:16,519 --> 00:47:21,239 hold on you, and you will think that for a long time. In 514 00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:25,000 this period of freedom. You'll enjoy it only by my good grace and mercy. 515 00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:30,639 You did a good job, better than anyone before. I've read your 516 00:47:30,679 --> 00:47:36,360 notes and reports over and over, and seeing details of myself I didn't even 517 00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:40,079 know whether it's a thing of beauty what you did. And one day soon 518 00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:45,679 you'll come back to me with some excuse for why you want the contract to 519 00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:52,480 continue. I tried to spit the word never, but managed at best a 520 00:47:52,519 --> 00:47:57,119 weak shake of the head, something that put a most peculiar smile on her 521 00:47:57,119 --> 00:48:01,559 face. It doesn't work like that. It'd be like trying to brute force 522 00:48:01,599 --> 00:48:07,559 your way through Alzheimer's. He'll be back, even now. You're mine, 523 00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:13,480 all mine. I'm just being gentle, and you're going to give me the 524 00:48:13,599 --> 00:48:17,079 name and number of that artist, because even though you know I could no 525 00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:22,800 more love you than a spider loves the fly, you are desperate to please 526 00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:28,079 me. Because when I broke the man in that apartment building, when I 527 00:48:28,119 --> 00:48:30,519 tore him in two and told him that he would live there for as long 528 00:48:30,559 --> 00:48:36,920 as I desired, writhing without every years and years, drowning and sickly, 529 00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:43,679 fluid and trapped helplessly in a hive, he's determined to maintain. Even though 530 00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:49,840 I wouldn't be caught dead going back there. He was grateful, and with 531 00:48:50,079 --> 00:48:55,440 time, you'll be grateful too. She put a pen in my hand. 532 00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:06,199 She smiled, mouthed the word good boy and God help me. I gave 533 00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:08,239 her my nephew's number,