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Welcome back to the Black Girl Experience. I'm your host Jazz and Dan Yale.

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Thank you, thank you, thank
you. Oh my god, this

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is so fucking crazy. This is
so fucking crazy. This is so fucking

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crazy. This is so fucking This
is so fucking crazy. Bro, this

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is so fucking crazy. That's wild
as fuck. Let me put my phone

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on, do not fucking discern,
bitch, and a motherfucker better not call

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and get through to the line.
This is so fucking crazy. This is

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so fucking crazy. This is Oh
my fucking bro, bro, oh my

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oh, y'all don't understand, y'all, don't understand what has happened. Baby,

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full circle I'm talking about in a
matter of five minutes, Nigga,

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in the matter of five minutes,
some shit just came full circle for me.

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Intuition is a motherfucker into This shit
is so crazy. This shit is

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so crazy. First of all,
one thing that I say when I'm teaching

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yoga is that the body holds so
much wisdom. Communicate with you. To

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communicate with your body when when we're
starting to practice, when we're igniting the

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spirit, warming up the body,
I'm telling people, just get your body

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moving. You know what I'm saying. Get your body moving whatever you need

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for your body. So you're moving
your body in circles, moving the hips,

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rolling your neck, taking some cat
calls. When you're doing that,

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I'm telling you communicate with your body. What does your body need? You

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know what I'm saying, What do
you need? The body holds so much

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wisdom. You've got to listen to
your intuition, bro, you have to

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listen to your intuition. And that's
been one of my struggles for a very

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long time. It's so fucking wild
because I'm a Pisces. I'm the most

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intuitive nigga in the zodiac. I'm
the most intuitive nigga in the zodiac.

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Pisces is the last sign that means
we got something from everybody. That means

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we got something from everybody. But
my intuition is out of this fucking world,

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bro. So it's crazy that I've
had to go through all of the

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things that I go through in life
when I have impeccable intuition. It's crazy

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that I have to go through all
of the shit that I go through in

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life when I have impeccable intuition.
But that's how you know, Nigga,

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you're a student of life. You
gotta fucking learn from experience. What are

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we on the Black girl fucking experienced? Nigga, You're not gonna learn until

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you go through some shit. And
sometimes they'd be like, damn, why

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do I gotta go through this?
Though? But you gotta go through some

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shit, especially when you're a good
person. I'm on this bitch preaching.

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I ain't gonna lie. You gotta
go through some shit, especially when you're

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a good person. That's it's fucked
up, bro, because I'm a good

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ass person and it'd be some demonic
ass people trying to fuck with me.

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Bro. It'd be some nasty as
spirits dealing with me. Bro. And

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I'm not just talking about on a
romantic level. I'm just talking about in

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life, Nigga, I got some
nasty spirits around me, some nasty spirits.

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When I tell you, motherfucker's be
so mean spirited to me, and

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I don't wanna do shit to niggas. I'd be like, Bro, why

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are you so mad at me?
I didn't even do anything to you.

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Niggas be mad at me? Do
y'all hear how crazy that sounds? Niggas

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be mad at me, and I
haven't done shit to them. I'm just

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existing, and niggas be mad at
me. People will be mad at me.

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Bro, I understand being mad when
somebody do something to you, when

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somebody ain't being shit to you.
When you mad and you nasty, Oh,

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that says a lot about your care
arter, That says a lot about

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the demons that you're dealing with.
I haven't done shit to you, and

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you're mad. You're a big mad, You're big mad. And I'll just

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be looking at niggas like, Bro, what are you mad at? What

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are you mad at? I bet
you, I bet you ask a motherfucker

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that I got a problem with you. What are you mad at? Because

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a lot of times niggas be mad
over nothing. Please pull out a reason

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to be mad, Show me a
reason to be mad. I give niggas

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not a I give niggas zilch.
I give niggas zero to be mad at.

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And you're mad and your mad at
fuck what they say, though,

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misery loves company. Misery loves company. You want to bring everybody down,

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which you are crab in the bucket, ass nigga. You want to bring

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everybody down, So trying to get
back to full circle. I was just

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having a conversation with somebody about my
about my temperament lately, and when it

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when it all came together from me, I'm like, you know what,

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my temperament is a little bit differ, Frank, And I'm looking at why

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Why has my temperament different? Why
am I acting the way that I'm acting?

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What's affecting me? What's causing me
to feel this way? And that's

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how you have to pinpoint the problem
within yourself. First of all, I

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just was talking about I have impeccable
intuition. I know why my temperament is

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the way it is. I already
know why. But I gotta be real

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with myself. I gotta be real
with myself. I gotta take accountability.

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I just had a conversation with somebody
and I was asking me questions, and

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every time I asked them a question
about theirselfs, they made it about everybody

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else. I'm like, I don't
give a fuck about everybody else. I'm

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talking about you. Every no accountability, could not accept nothing, any anything.

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Every time you try to throw something
and pushing it off, pushing it

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up, bro bro Bro. I
rarely talk about other niggas like, if

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something, especially if you're addressing something
about me, why am I bringing up

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anybody else? If you got a
problem with me? Why the fuck am

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I talking about Tim, Sue and
James, Keisha, Derek and Brian.

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Why am I talking? You know
what I'm saying like accountability as a motherfucker,

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and niggas don't want to take that. I need a motherfucker to be

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accountable because I am. I'm very
very self aware. I'm very self aware.

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I'm very self aware. I can't
fuck with people that always point the

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blame, point the blame, especially
I think it ain't even got shit to

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do with me. What are you
talking about? What are you talking?

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What are you talking about? Don't
let them ufuck a spatulate. You don't

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let them flip shit on you,
don't let them do it. Don't let

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them do it. So anyway,
Yeah, this still supposed to be the

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beginning. This, this still supposed
to be the intro. What I really

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wanted to come on here and say
before I had caught that full circle moment,

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was that I've been m mya like
a Florida girl. Okay, I'm

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in my I ain't recorded an episode
in a fucking month. I'm ashamed of

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myself. I'm ashamed of myself and
I shouldn't be. I don't have to

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be. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. It

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was something else that I wanted to
say. But yeah, I've been gone.

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But again, I just told you
my temperament been different. My temperament

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is different. But that's okay.
So the first full circle thing though,

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as soon as I hopped on this
bitch and here record, I felt amazing.

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I was smiling, I was feeling
good, I was feeling bright,

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I was feeling like I was feeling
like me, nigga, my temperament changed.

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It was it was it was me. It was me, you know

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what I'm saying. So obviously it's
something going on in my life. My

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temperament is different, nigga, I
ain't recorded in a month. What the

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fuck is going on? You know
what I'm saying? What's what's really going

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on? What's really good? What's
good? Miley? What's good? What's

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going on? You're good? And
that's the thing, you know what I'm

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saying. God forbid, something happened
to a nigga. Niggas be like,

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oh day she didn't record an episode
for a month. Niggas ain't checked on

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me at all. Niggas ain't checked
on me at all. And that's what

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I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Is it still we still in May?

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It's still Mental Health Awareness month?
Nigga, That's what I'm saying.

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Niggas do not check on a strong
friend. A bitch been gone for a

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month. Niggas ain't niggas. Niggas
ain't made a peep. That's a little

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sick. That's a little sick.
That's a little sick. My god,

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that's a little sick. But I
don't want y'all to think like it's something

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seriously wrong with me. I'm good, but I definitely have been neglecting myself.

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I've definitely been neglecting myself. I
feel like I'm not myself. Don't

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let nobody pull you back in life. Don't let nobody pull you back.

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That's crazy. Don't let nobody pull
you back. Nigga running in my own

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race. I'm in my own motherfucking
lane, and they getting grab my arms

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and tried to pull me back.
Fuck own to pass the tide. No,

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no, you know what I'm saying, don't let nobody pull you back

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for real. Um, what else
was I about to say? So,

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yeah, I've definitely been neglecting myself. The best part of me is also

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the worst part of me, and
that's that Yina yang shit. The best

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part of me is the worst part
of me. I'm so loving, I'm

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so giving, I'm so nurturing.
I'm always pouring into others, rarely pouring

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into myself. The best part of
me is the worst part of me.

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Like I said, I haven't made
an episode in the month, I'm neglecting

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myself. But like I said,
as soon as I hopped on this bitch,

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I was smiling. I was happy. I'm like, damn, this

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is this is what I'm this is
this is where I needed to be,

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This is where I needed to be. I think that I do need to

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find balance in my life. The
funny party is now that I do yoga

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damn near every day, I feel
like I have physical balance in my life

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and that's needed as well. Nigga, You ain't trying to top nigga,

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We ain't trying to what was her
name, whoever takes a tumble? I

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forgot her name? But you know
what I'm saying, I feel like I

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have physical balance in my life.
I feel like I'm grounded, you know,

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in the physical aspect. But I
do need balance. I definitely.

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I'm a person that has an addictive
personality. So if I do something,

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or if I try something or whatever, I'm gonna be on that for a

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little minute. You know what I'm
saying. I go I go crazy on

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shit when I first do it.
That's why I would never do no serious

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drugs because I go crazy on shit. You know what I'm saying. Whether

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it be a motherfucking restaurant, what, it don't matter. You know what

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I'm saying. If I do something
new and I like it, baby,

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I'm gonna do it for a minute, and then you know, get burnt

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out. But I do need to
find balance because when I when I find

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something new, I for sure burnout
on that ship. And speaking of burnout,

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I do yoga every day. It's
kind of hard to say, but

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you absolutely need a break from everything
in life, nigga, Like you need

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a break from everything. I don't
think that you could do something every fucking

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day. You know what I'm saying. Again, that's that shit about that,

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like that addictive personality type shit.
You know what I'm saying, Like

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it is cool to do yoga every
day. You can't do it every day,

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but um, just for me personally, nigga, I think that you

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could take a break for a day, you know what I'm saying. Even

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though I'd be hashtag yoga every damn
day, I ain't gonna lie. It'd

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be times when I'm black. Dang, I'm I feel like I'm experiencing burnout.

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I feel like I'm doing too much, you know what I'm saying.

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And that's the thing. Going back
to the body has so much wisdom.

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Listener to your intuition. Your body
tells you everything that you need to know,

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nigga. Your body tell you when
you sleep, you when you're ready

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to go to bed at night.
Your body is gonna wake you up in

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the morning. Your stomach is gonna
tell you when you're hungry. Your body

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tells you when you hide. Your
body tell you when you cold. You

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know what I'm saying. Your body
tells you. Your body tells you when

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you sick. So if you sleepy, nigga, go to sleep. If

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you need rest, take a break. Like and I say that too.

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I say that too. I talk
about how you know, in life,

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we be feeling guilty for one to
take rest, like, bro, fucking

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relax, go take a nap,
don't do shit today, laying the fucking

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bed, Nigga, you rest,
But we be so caught up in the

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matrix. Nigga, I gotta go
to work every day. I gotta do

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that first of all. Nigga's don't
nothing come before work, Nigga, your

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own health can't come before work because
you like nigga, I gotta work.

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I need a job. That's crazy
as fuck. I'm not living like that.

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I'm not living like that. I'm
not living like that. Bro.

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I come first, My body comes
first, my mental health comes first.

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I don't give a fuck about this
job, Nigga, I don't give a

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you need me the fuck? No. No, I don't want yoga to

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become jobby for me. But that's
also why I feel like it's important to

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take a break sometimes. Again.
I don't want it to start to feel

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jobby for me, you know,
because it's something that I do absolutely have

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a passion for, and there are
a lot more things that I need to

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incorporate into my yoga to really make
it me, to really make it me.

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But that also takes time. Like
I'll be looking at the calendar,

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I'll be looking at the day.
It's like, Bro, I've been doing

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this like six months. Relax.
You got your whole fucking life to do

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yoga. Bro, you have so
much. You know what I'm saying.

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You don't have to learn everything in
a day, baby girl, Relax,

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take a chill pill. But I
definitely do have a passion for it,

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but I don't want it to become
jobby. You know. One of my

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main things right now is just working
on creating events for myself with yoga and

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just figuring out where I want to
go with it and what the yoga branch

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of Black Girl experience is going to
be. So that's a lot to figure

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out. But again, if if
my focus is in other places, I'm

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not giving it the proper attention.
I'm not watering it. I'm not you

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know what I'm saying. I'm planting
seeds elsewhere. When I need to be

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00:19:18.720 --> 00:19:29.240
worrying about myself, I need to
be worrying about myself, babying. If

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00:19:29.240 --> 00:19:32.440
you're gonna stress about anything in life, let it be about your own fucking

205
00:19:32.440 --> 00:19:34.880
self. Don't let it be about
nobody else and what the fuck they got

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00:19:34.920 --> 00:19:42.519
going on. And that's baby,
when whenever you off kill her, nigga,

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00:19:42.640 --> 00:19:45.640
bring it back to self, Bring
it back to self. That's what

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00:19:45.720 --> 00:19:51.200
this ship is all fucking about.
The focus needs to be on yourself,

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00:19:52.599 --> 00:19:56.079
you know. Trying to maximize my
income with yoga that as well, because

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00:19:56.440 --> 00:20:00.279
again, a nigga is not going
back to one nine of five, not

211
00:20:00.440 --> 00:20:08.000
me, no sir. So that's
out m my romantic life and nigga that

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00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:17.519
shit. I have come to the
conclusion because y'all know I'm a lover girl,

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00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:21.200
and I've talked about this so many
times on here. I do want

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00:20:21.240 --> 00:20:23.960
companionship. I do want to be
in a relationship if I do. You

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00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:26.400
know what I'm saying. I do
want to have them in you feel me.

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00:20:27.640 --> 00:20:33.160
But it takes away. It takes
away from me, bro. It

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00:20:33.240 --> 00:20:36.920
takes away from me every time,
every time, every time I try it,

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00:20:36.799 --> 00:20:41.480
it takes away from me. And
it's like, a I could really

219
00:20:41.480 --> 00:20:44.279
be one hundred percent by myself,
you know what I'm saying. And I

220
00:20:44.319 --> 00:20:47.359
haven't even reached one hundred percent by
myself, and that's the thing. Maybe

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00:20:47.400 --> 00:20:49.759
I should just focus on reaching one
hundred percent by myself because anytime I try

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00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:53.079
to add something else in the picture, it'd be like sixty seven thirty two,

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Like hold on't wait, nigga,
I was I was at eighty five.

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Like so for real, focus on
yourself, nigga, focus on your

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00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:06.400
fuckings. That's all that you could
really focus on. And that's when I'm

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00:21:06.440 --> 00:21:08.440
the happiest. That's when i'm the
best. That's when i'm the brightest.

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00:21:08.480 --> 00:21:11.440
That's when i'm elevating, that's when
i'm fly, that's when you know what

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00:21:11.480 --> 00:21:19.119
I'm saying like anything else, I'm
not myself. Um, but it's so

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00:21:19.279 --> 00:21:22.960
crazy because I'm a lover girl.
But it's just like I don't know.

230
00:21:23.400 --> 00:21:32.079
And then it's like, oh my
god, do niggas wanna be me?

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00:21:33.960 --> 00:21:41.640
For real? Do the niggas that
I fuck we wanna be me? Because

232
00:21:41.640 --> 00:21:48.079
what what's teasus? Like? What
what's up? Why are we acting like

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00:21:48.160 --> 00:21:56.880
this? Why are we acting like
this? But that could be with anybody

234
00:21:56.880 --> 00:22:00.039
in your life, anybody that's giving
competition, right, So I don't know,

235
00:22:00.440 --> 00:22:03.319
fam, what's up? What are
we doing? You know what I'm

236
00:22:03.319 --> 00:22:14.519
saying, like what you want?
But also trying to remember that no relationship

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00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:18.680
is perfect, that as well.
That is fucking will. But you have

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00:22:18.799 --> 00:22:26.799
to be able to differentiate between healthy
conflict and some bullshit, you know what

239
00:22:26.839 --> 00:22:37.119
I'm saying. Um, but sometimes
it's hard, and that's the thing it'd

240
00:22:37.119 --> 00:22:41.960
be, Oh my god, have
people always been this fake? Have people

241
00:22:41.079 --> 00:22:48.880
always been this? Uh? What
do I want to say? Have people

242
00:22:49.000 --> 00:23:00.119
always been like I don't even know
what I want to say, but just

243
00:23:00.279 --> 00:23:04.599
fake and calculated and like you know
what I'm saying, like, ah,

244
00:23:07.880 --> 00:23:11.839
I don't know, it's it's it's
a crazy world out here though, Like,

245
00:23:12.119 --> 00:23:17.839
um, it's a crazy world out
here. But again, that's why

246
00:23:17.839 --> 00:23:19.720
it's just best to stick to yourself
and stick to what the fuck you know.

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00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:22.720
And that's all I know is self, Nigga, That's all I know.

248
00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:26.799
And I'm not gonna lie. That's
that's when i'm the happiest. That's

249
00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:30.759
when i'm the best. That's when
I'm mean, um, you know,

250
00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:37.359
and motherucker's always want to come in
and try to fuck up the path always,

251
00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:41.440
you know what I'm saying, Like, get these Mario banana peals out

252
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:45.519
of my way, Like what are
you doing? What are you? What

253
00:23:45.599 --> 00:23:56.920
are you doing? We have a
hard time of letting things go in life,

254
00:23:56.359 --> 00:24:07.200
which is baby. The concept it's
very straightforward. It's very simple when

255
00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:12.519
you think about it. You know
what I'm saying. When you release your

256
00:24:12.519 --> 00:24:18.400
attachment to whatever, you allow stuff
to come in. We don't be willing

257
00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:21.799
to let shit go though. It's
like, bro, we trying to put

258
00:24:21.839 --> 00:24:25.279
the new shit in your life,
but you still holding on. Like the

259
00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:29.079
longer you hold on, the longer
the delay, the longer you wait,

260
00:24:29.319 --> 00:24:33.720
the longer you know, you make
this hard, Like it'd be you making

261
00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:38.319
it hard, bitch. We got
your blessings waiting to drop these they're waiting

262
00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:41.759
to drop your blessings. I'm talking
heads to the sky. They like dog

263
00:24:41.799 --> 00:24:45.839
as soon as we drop our arms, this ship coming down. But you're

264
00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:52.440
holding onto old shit. Let that
shit go. I was just talking about

265
00:24:52.759 --> 00:24:57.400
Nigga's better not call and get through
to my line. Somebody was trying to

266
00:24:57.440 --> 00:25:00.279
call me and it was like,
damn, I thought you black to me

267
00:25:00.440 --> 00:25:03.440
yo. I'm like no, it
was like, man, I called you

268
00:25:03.519 --> 00:25:07.240
like thirty times. I'm like,
damn, you called me like thirty times

269
00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:11.319
and you couldn't get through. Baby, that's a sign. I didn't say

270
00:25:11.359 --> 00:25:15.839
that, but in my mind,
I'm like, that's a sign, and

271
00:25:15.960 --> 00:25:18.039
I just said, as soon as
I hit record on this bitch, I

272
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:21.279
felt like myself. I was like
this, let me put my phone on,

273
00:25:21.359 --> 00:25:27.480
do not disturb because I don't want
no clause coming through. Okay,

274
00:25:27.519 --> 00:25:33.160
this is full circle in five minutes, baby, um. And then when

275
00:25:33.160 --> 00:25:36.720
you releash your attack the attachment to
shit, you just be free to be.

276
00:25:37.079 --> 00:25:38.240
You know what I'm saying. You
don't feel that bird no more.

277
00:25:38.359 --> 00:25:42.279
You feel light. You feel na
I could boo boop boop on my tiptoes

278
00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:45.359
through life. Nigga. You know
what I'm saying, You're just free to

279
00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:55.279
be. Motherfucker's be trying to lock
me down, baby, when I tell

280
00:25:55.319 --> 00:25:59.759
you, niggas be trying to lock
me down. Nick I didn't got trapped

281
00:25:59.799 --> 00:26:06.720
before. Oh I didn't got trapped
before? Oh my god? And where

282
00:26:06.759 --> 00:26:08.960
do I work at the trap studio? I didn't. I hadn't been trapped

283
00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:17.119
before. I wouldn't been trapped before. I'm a baby mama, nigga.

284
00:26:17.599 --> 00:26:27.519
I'm a baby mama. That's a
form of control to a nigga. A

285
00:26:27.640 --> 00:26:41.839
nigga feel like you his territory when
you his baby mama. Niggas want to

286
00:26:41.839 --> 00:26:48.640
treat women like dogs piss on you. This is mine, this is this

287
00:26:48.680 --> 00:26:52.240
is where ippen. You know what
I'm saying. Niggas dogs be going outside

288
00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:56.920
sniffing where I want to piss at, where I want where I want to

289
00:26:56.960 --> 00:27:03.920
piss at. I'm a piss on
this bitch, Okay r Kelly Like whoa,

290
00:27:04.319 --> 00:27:12.400
But for real, niggas be trapping
bitches and that shit be a form

291
00:27:12.440 --> 00:27:23.960
of control. Now another point that
I want to make Nobody can control you.

292
00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:27.519
I mean, you know what I'm
saying. You get what I'm saying

293
00:27:27.519 --> 00:27:30.720
to a certain extent, But at
the end of the day, nobody can

294
00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:34.599
control you. My life is my
life, you know what I'm saying.

295
00:27:34.599 --> 00:27:41.160
My shit gonna be what it's supposed
to be. But it's some banana peals

296
00:27:41.160 --> 00:27:49.279
from the path for sure. Like
yeah, but um where did this all

297
00:27:49.359 --> 00:27:52.240
start from? Where did where did
all that branch from? I just forgot

298
00:27:52.279 --> 00:27:57.400
but um yeah, man, Like, oh, niggas be trying to lock

299
00:27:57.440 --> 00:28:03.279
me down. Niggas be trying to
and I'll and I'll be on this bitch

300
00:28:03.279 --> 00:28:06.240
always something about I've been single for
solo. Niggas be trying to lock me

301
00:28:06.279 --> 00:28:10.359
down where I go Like, but
in a different type of way, like

302
00:28:11.880 --> 00:28:15.720
niggas be like this bitch light too
bright, put a box on top of

303
00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:22.400
it. You're running too freely through
life. Let me give me your arms,

304
00:28:22.440 --> 00:28:26.599
let me pull your arms, but
be trying to make that shit seem

305
00:28:26.640 --> 00:28:29.920
fun. Hey, I'll let you, Yeah, but handcuffs on me,

306
00:28:30.200 --> 00:28:33.839
Like yeah, niggas be trying to
lock me down for real. No,

307
00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:41.680
I'm not doing it. Full circle
in five minutes, damn is not the

308
00:28:41.720 --> 00:28:45.839
name of the episode. Full circle
in five minutes. That's crazy. Um.

309
00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:49.240
And you gotta be open to whatever's
coming next. Like I said,

310
00:28:49.240 --> 00:28:52.160
they're ready to drop the blessings down. You gotta be open to whatever it's

311
00:28:52.200 --> 00:28:57.000
coming next. That's another thing that
I say. Being open to receive,

312
00:28:57.200 --> 00:29:02.359
while your blessings, your prosperity,
to your abundance, being open to new

313
00:29:02.359 --> 00:29:06.759
opportunities, being opened a new energy, being open minded, being open to

314
00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:11.920
receive, open your heart, open
your throat, be open to receive,

315
00:29:11.720 --> 00:29:18.000
like you can't do that when you
hold on and breathing. It's so good

316
00:29:18.039 --> 00:29:26.839
too. Like did I tell you
all about that day I had a breakdown?

317
00:29:29.640 --> 00:29:32.039
I don't really something like i'd be
going through it? Did I tell

318
00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:33.799
you all about the day I had
a breakdown. I don't know. I

319
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:37.480
ain't been on this bitch in a
month. I don't know if I told

320
00:29:37.519 --> 00:29:41.160
y'all, but one day I did
have a breakdown. Like I was on

321
00:29:41.200 --> 00:29:48.240
my knees crying, but it felt
so good to cry, and I was

322
00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:51.480
breathing through it all, and it
felt so good to release that. It

323
00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:53.720
felt so fucking good to release all
that shit that was on my heart.

324
00:29:55.319 --> 00:30:00.359
And like, you know, it's
it's not really crazy, but it's also

325
00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:03.440
crazy to me because nigga, I'm
the strong friend. Like damn, this

326
00:30:03.519 --> 00:30:06.880
bitch finally broke the fuck down.
But I just said that today. I

327
00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:10.440
just said that to somebody. I
was like, uh, I was talking

328
00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:11.839
about going to a rage room.
I've never been to a rage room.

329
00:30:11.839 --> 00:30:15.119
I'm like, that's something that I
want to do one day, and it's

330
00:30:15.160 --> 00:30:19.319
probably something that I really need to
do, because I, um, I

331
00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:23.200
bottle everything up. You know what
I'm saying. Shit, I feel like

332
00:30:23.200 --> 00:30:26.400
the only time I really really shit
is on here. But you know,

333
00:30:26.519 --> 00:30:30.279
I bottle a lot of shit up. But I know that's not healthy,

334
00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:34.880
But I manage my emotions and my
anger whale, you know what I'm saying,

335
00:30:34.920 --> 00:30:40.119
I'm a very calm person. I'm
a very level headed person, and

336
00:30:40.279 --> 00:30:41.920
you need that, you need to
have a sound mind in this life,

337
00:30:41.960 --> 00:30:48.759
because baby, you can't. You
can't. You can't be a boiling pot.

338
00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:53.640
You cannot, you cannot, you
will not. You will not make

339
00:30:53.640 --> 00:31:00.720
it in life being a boiling pot. So yeah, but that's not good.

340
00:31:00.759 --> 00:31:03.759
I need to release shit. So
yeah, I had a breakdown,

341
00:31:03.799 --> 00:31:07.480
But like I said, it felt
so good to breathe like I was.

342
00:31:07.240 --> 00:31:11.319
I wasn't like boohoo crying, but
it was just like it was like some

343
00:31:11.440 --> 00:31:12.759
real it was, nigga, if
I was down on my knees, I

344
00:31:12.839 --> 00:31:15.799
damn near, I was at church, you know what I'm saying, Like,

345
00:31:17.960 --> 00:31:22.079
but I was breathing through that shit
and it just felt so fucking good

346
00:31:22.119 --> 00:31:26.920
to release it, you know what, Like damn, nigga, a breakdown

347
00:31:26.119 --> 00:31:32.000
means that a breakthrough is coming,
and my breakthrough is for show coming,

348
00:31:32.119 --> 00:31:37.480
like it just be like when though, you know what I'm saying, it

349
00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:41.559
was eleven eleven, Oh my,
I cannot make this shit up. Bro.

350
00:31:42.200 --> 00:31:48.519
It's gonna happen in divine timing four
circle in five minutes. What the

351
00:31:48.640 --> 00:31:52.480
fuck? I cannot make this shit
up. I cannot make this shit up.

352
00:31:52.519 --> 00:31:57.039
Bro, It's gonna happen in divine
time. To stop sucking asking what

353
00:31:57.119 --> 00:32:00.920
time, Jason, stop sucking asking
and just wake up and live your day

354
00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:04.079
to day. It's gonna it's gonna
be the day. It's gonna be the

355
00:32:04.160 --> 00:32:07.519
day. It's so crazy, and
that's why you really can't worry about shit

356
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:14.039
the day that I actually so this
is what's gonna happen. I'm gonna be

357
00:32:14.079 --> 00:32:17.839
more mindful. I'm gonna be more
conscious every day like it's gonna happen when

358
00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:22.599
it's gonna happen. Stop fucking worrying, dadda, dadda die every day.

359
00:32:22.799 --> 00:32:24.880
I'm gonna keep being mindful, Like, just focus on the day, focus

360
00:32:24.960 --> 00:32:28.759
on the present moment, focus on
what you got going on, breathe.

361
00:32:30.559 --> 00:32:34.440
The day that I finally just fucking
forget about it, and it's gonna be.

362
00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:37.160
You're gonna be so caught up in
being present in the moment you're not

363
00:32:37.240 --> 00:32:40.480
even gonna realize that you're not thinking
about it no more. And that's when

364
00:32:40.480 --> 00:32:50.160
the fuck is gonna happen. Eleven
eleven Divine timing, And that's the point

365
00:32:50.200 --> 00:32:54.920
of mindfulness that you have to be
at. That's the point of mindfulness that

366
00:32:54.960 --> 00:32:59.519
you have to be at. That
you you know what I'm saying, we

367
00:32:59.680 --> 00:33:02.039
be so caught up on the past
and on the future, we'll be bringing

368
00:33:02.119 --> 00:33:06.640
so much anxiety to ourselves not understanding
that. Nick, if you were just

369
00:33:06.680 --> 00:33:09.519
focused on the present fucking moment you
were, your mind is full with that.

370
00:33:12.839 --> 00:33:15.160
Whatever is on your plate in the
present, your mind is cool with

371
00:33:15.279 --> 00:33:19.799
that. As soon as you said
it, there boom, they're damn okay,

372
00:33:19.839 --> 00:33:22.599
I'm in the next I'm into my
next step. I'm here, Like

373
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:24.400
when the fuck did I even get
here? Just paying attention to what you

374
00:33:24.440 --> 00:33:31.880
needed to be paying attention to.
You gotta have a mental strength and the

375
00:33:31.920 --> 00:33:39.960
discipline to not let people get you
off your square. Also, that's the

376
00:33:39.960 --> 00:33:44.039
same approach that you have to take
when you on the show The Circle on

377
00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:46.599
Netflix and I'm about to apply for
the third fucking time. They say third

378
00:33:46.599 --> 00:33:50.079
times as the charm, they need
to let that like, first of all,

379
00:33:50.119 --> 00:33:53.839
I fucking love the Circle. I
love the Circle, bro, that

380
00:33:53.960 --> 00:33:58.279
is my shit. I'm applying to
be on that bitch because I would win.

381
00:33:58.640 --> 00:34:01.880
I would fucking win. I would
win on the Circle. But that's

382
00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:06.160
what I'm saying. So even like
on there, you gotta have a mental

383
00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:08.800
strength and a discipline to not let
people get you. I feel square people

384
00:34:08.840 --> 00:34:15.159
be on that bitch tripping. They
always ask you know what approach you're gonna

385
00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:16.239
take in the game. Are you
gonna come in at ya so far?

386
00:34:16.280 --> 00:34:19.280
Are you're gonna be a catfish?
If I want on the circle, I

387
00:34:19.280 --> 00:34:22.599
would be myself. I feel like, oh no, it do be catfish

388
00:34:22.679 --> 00:34:31.360
is winning. But I feel like
I feel like the niggas that are themselves

389
00:34:31.559 --> 00:34:37.920
get very far. I'm trying to
remember who won that was their self.

390
00:34:40.920 --> 00:34:44.360
Look, don't get me the line
right now. I can't think right now.

391
00:34:44.639 --> 00:34:50.559
But and this is the thing,
and this is the thing in life

392
00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:54.440
too. I would go on as
myself because why would I go in as

393
00:34:54.480 --> 00:34:58.280
somebody else? It would just be
easiest to be me. I know,

394
00:34:58.360 --> 00:35:00.280
my you know what I'm saying.
But that's the same thing in real life,

395
00:35:00.320 --> 00:35:04.719
Like why do why do people want
to be other people or pretend to

396
00:35:04.760 --> 00:35:07.880
be something that they not when you
could just be your fucking self. It's

397
00:35:07.960 --> 00:35:10.920
so hard to keep up a facide, It's so hard to keep on a

398
00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:15.239
mask. It's so hard. It's
so hard to be something that you're not.

399
00:35:16.320 --> 00:35:19.880
What do niggas do on the circle
when they be playing somebody else?

400
00:35:19.960 --> 00:35:22.480
Oh? Man, they're on to
me. I'm not talking like a thirty

401
00:35:23.239 --> 00:35:27.559
a twenty two year old girl when
I'm really a fifty two year old man.

402
00:35:27.639 --> 00:35:30.760
Because you're not being yourself, you
don't know what to do. Nigga's

403
00:35:30.800 --> 00:35:34.280
be like, Oh, that's a
catfish this person. You know what I'm

404
00:35:34.280 --> 00:35:36.320
saying. Oh, I'm a makeup
artist. Okay, we do on the

405
00:35:36.400 --> 00:35:39.880
challenge, do makeup on a motherfucking
pumpkin and that shit come out looking like

406
00:35:39.920 --> 00:35:43.599
this bitch ain't no makeup artist?
Is this bitch a cat? Who are

407
00:35:43.639 --> 00:35:46.679
you? You know what I'm saying? Like, niggas know when you ain't

408
00:35:46.719 --> 00:35:52.199
you? So just be you.
And that's the thing if you if you

409
00:35:52.239 --> 00:35:54.400
can't accept yourself for who you are, then the world is definitely not going

410
00:35:54.440 --> 00:35:59.840
to accept you. The world is
definitely not going to accept you because you

411
00:35:59.840 --> 00:36:08.159
can't even accept you. Why the
fuck would somebody else accept you when you

412
00:36:08.199 --> 00:36:13.920
don't even accept you. You're not
even cool with the person that you are,

413
00:36:15.320 --> 00:36:22.119
truly, truly, I don't want
to walk through life not being able

414
00:36:22.159 --> 00:36:25.000
to be myself. That's a lot
of fucking work. That's a full time

415
00:36:25.079 --> 00:36:30.960
fucking job to walk through life having
to be somebody that you're not. That's

416
00:36:31.039 --> 00:36:35.960
the baby. I don't even want
to know what that day entails. I

417
00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:38.559
don't want to. Nigga. Your
son up to sun down is hell.

418
00:36:39.880 --> 00:36:43.199
On top of the fact that you've
got to live his fake life. You

419
00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:46.400
gotta pretend to be something that you're
not. You don't know what you're doing

420
00:36:46.440 --> 00:36:51.119
for real. You're faking it till
you make it, and you gotta live

421
00:36:51.199 --> 00:36:55.280
that life though. So I'm faking
it in this life, but I gotta

422
00:36:55.320 --> 00:36:58.679
live it for real. And I
don't even know. You could just be

423
00:36:58.800 --> 00:37:02.480
yourself, my guy, You could
just be yourself and your days would be

424
00:37:02.599 --> 00:37:07.079
very, very free, very free
flowing, very just chipper as fuck walking

425
00:37:07.119 --> 00:37:12.400
through smiling. You know what I'm
saying. Because you being you, you

426
00:37:12.519 --> 00:37:15.800
love yourself. Other niggas is loving
you. It's it's a fucking blast over

427
00:37:15.880 --> 00:37:22.480
here. But I do understand people's
approach on the circle and the purpose of

428
00:37:22.519 --> 00:37:24.559
going in as a catfish, um, you know, because a lot of

429
00:37:24.599 --> 00:37:30.440
people would be a lot of a
lot of deeply rooted stories behind that shit

430
00:37:30.679 --> 00:37:32.519
like, oh, I'm I'm a
model, but I don't. I just

431
00:37:32.599 --> 00:37:36.039
don't want people to just think I'm
just a blind like I don't know anything.

432
00:37:36.079 --> 00:37:37.880
You know what I'm saying, because
you niggas be putting stigmas on you,

433
00:37:37.719 --> 00:37:39.760
you know what I'm saying, Like, Damn, I can't be a

434
00:37:39.800 --> 00:37:45.679
smartass bitch because I'm a model.
I can't beat this because I'm you know

435
00:37:45.719 --> 00:37:49.800
what I'm saying. Like, So
that's the thing too, But I would

436
00:37:49.800 --> 00:37:52.360
just much rather going to circle as
myself. I love myself and that's the

437
00:37:52.360 --> 00:37:57.440
only person that I know how to
be, So you know, that's what

438
00:37:57.480 --> 00:38:04.360
the fuck I'm rolling with. But
m full circle in five minutes. Ain't

439
00:38:04.360 --> 00:38:07.280
playing those games? Um So,
yeah, a lot just came full circle

440
00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:09.960
when I hear record on this bitch, And that's what's up. Like,

441
00:38:10.639 --> 00:38:14.880
I feel good, I feel good. I feel me. I feel that

442
00:38:15.039 --> 00:38:20.239
I feel it. Nigga it tag
your it, period, pool tag me

443
00:38:21.119 --> 00:38:27.480
tag me in. This might turn
you feel me? Um man, Oh

444
00:38:27.559 --> 00:38:30.119
my god, and just yes,
listen to your intuition for real, like,

445
00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:37.320
because if you don't listen, it's
gonna be hell to pay. It's

446
00:38:37.320 --> 00:38:39.760
gonna be hell to pay. Oh, if you don't listen to your intuition,

447
00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:45.719
it's gonna be hell to pay.
So save yourself now, nigga,

448
00:38:45.119 --> 00:38:50.920
save yourself. You are trying to
figure out, like, mmmm, should

449
00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:55.320
I do it? Should I?
Nigga's playing double dutch with that motherfucking future.

450
00:38:55.480 --> 00:39:00.079
You playing double dutch with your future
when your intuition already told you like

451
00:39:00.920 --> 00:39:07.880
this is what it is. How
what's up you playing double dutch with your

452
00:39:07.960 --> 00:39:12.719
future and you got impeccable intuition.
Baby girl, have a seat in the

453
00:39:12.760 --> 00:39:15.320
back. Give it to us,
thing, Give it to a nigga that's

454
00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:23.840
gonna use it. Okay, man, stop playing with yourself. Stop playing

455
00:39:23.920 --> 00:39:31.880
with yourself. Ah, I'm just
but it's cool. It's cool growth,

456
00:39:32.039 --> 00:39:35.239
you know what I'm saying. Okay, girl, if I see you,

457
00:39:35.320 --> 00:39:37.519
I see me becoming a better person. But damn, maybe, like girl,

458
00:39:38.679 --> 00:39:40.960
you don't even gotta do all of
this, baby girl, we could

459
00:39:40.960 --> 00:39:45.480
really be doing other things but you, but this school. You don't.

460
00:39:45.559 --> 00:39:46.840
You want to go through the lessons. You want to do it. That's

461
00:39:46.880 --> 00:39:53.400
on you. But you need that. Fuck what I need? Give me

462
00:39:53.440 --> 00:39:57.800
what I want, you feel me, give me what I want. I'm

463
00:39:57.840 --> 00:40:01.440
at the wants baby give a funk
about what I need. It's like nah,

464
00:40:02.199 --> 00:40:07.960
but um yeah, man, But
life, life gonna teach you.

465
00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:14.400
Okay. One thing life gonna do
is teach you. Life is going to

466
00:40:14.400 --> 00:40:17.480
teach you. Are you here for
the test? Are you here for the

467
00:40:17.480 --> 00:40:22.440
test? Okay? Did you come
prepare? Did you bring a pencil?

468
00:40:22.360 --> 00:40:27.280
Do you have your scantrone with you? Did you bring a calculator? Do

469
00:40:27.320 --> 00:40:30.599
you have a highlighter? Okay?
All right, have a seat right there,

470
00:40:31.960 --> 00:40:42.559
third row, third desk. Do
you feel me? Are you ready

471
00:40:42.559 --> 00:40:46.719
for the test? Oh? The
test be so hard. To test be

472
00:40:46.840 --> 00:40:53.719
so fucking hard. The test be
so fucking hard. The test be so

473
00:40:53.800 --> 00:40:58.039
fucking hard, dude, they though, or do you just make it seem

474
00:40:58.119 --> 00:41:04.159
hard? I don't know. I'm
just but that's why you gotta be.

475
00:41:04.559 --> 00:41:07.679
That's why you gotta be working on
your physical every day, because nigga light,

476
00:41:08.480 --> 00:41:12.239
I tell niggas this too. I'd
be like, life is way harder

477
00:41:12.239 --> 00:41:15.159
than both posts niggas, So you
can, nigga, I'll be sitting in

478
00:41:15.199 --> 00:41:20.679
that ship like man, and I'm
about to start going harder on niggas.

479
00:41:20.719 --> 00:41:22.119
But I'm about to start going harder
on niggas. I'm about to start going

480
00:41:22.119 --> 00:41:29.199
harder on niggas. And that's another
thing that that pisses niggas off, but

481
00:41:29.280 --> 00:41:30.960
in a good way. It motivates
niggas. You know what I'm saying,

482
00:41:31.039 --> 00:41:35.119
Like, fuck, I don't want
you know what I'm saying. I don't

483
00:41:35.159 --> 00:41:37.119
want to fall out. I don't
want to get out when you you know,

484
00:41:37.239 --> 00:41:39.320
and it's it's different when you know
you can hold it. It's different

485
00:41:39.320 --> 00:41:42.599
when you know you can hold it. It's different when you know you could

486
00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:44.559
do it, but it's like,
oh, I'm just too lazy to do

487
00:41:44.599 --> 00:41:51.920
it, Like, no nigga do
it, No nigga hold it. So

488
00:41:51.960 --> 00:41:55.239
when you build that mental toughness in
yoga, you build that mental toughness in

489
00:41:55.320 --> 00:41:59.440
life. And that's what I'm saying, My life be beating my ass.

490
00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:01.280
So that's why I need to do
yoga every day, you know what I'm

491
00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:05.119
saying. That's why I'll be working
all by shit and I ain't gonna lie.

492
00:42:05.199 --> 00:42:09.079
I need to. I feel like
I haven't like taken no no classes

493
00:42:09.159 --> 00:42:12.159
for real, like I do be
doing yoga, but I don't, you

494
00:42:12.199 --> 00:42:15.800
know, I gotta get back to
my strength and in myself fury. I

495
00:42:15.840 --> 00:42:20.000
need to get back to really practicing
myself because look, damn slipping there and

496
00:42:20.079 --> 00:42:22.559
Nigga slipping there. I do it
every day. But you know, but

497
00:42:22.679 --> 00:42:25.920
also I'll be looking at that as
needing a break to or just to like

498
00:42:27.000 --> 00:42:29.639
kind of chill out, you know, for a while, nigga, because

499
00:42:29.719 --> 00:42:31.719
yo, body, you gotta get
your time, your body, yo body,

500
00:42:31.760 --> 00:42:45.119
time to rest. Don't be out
here breaking niggas down, build them

501
00:42:45.159 --> 00:42:51.639
up. Okay that too that part? Um. So yeah, man I

502
00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:57.800
this was good, this is this
was cool, This was needed. Um.

503
00:42:57.840 --> 00:43:07.920
I definitely released some things here and
yeah, so um I'll be back

504
00:43:07.920 --> 00:43:12.400
with some things. Y'all know where
y'all can find me if you ever,

505
00:43:12.719 --> 00:43:15.760
if you ever need to know or
or get an update on me and where

506
00:43:15.800 --> 00:43:19.360
I'm at, hit me at Hill
and my homies, and damn, it's

507
00:43:19.400 --> 00:43:22.039
like, damn maybe y'all niggas should
check in. And Nigga was gone for

508
00:43:22.079 --> 00:43:25.440
a month and just damn didn't even
hear from niggas. Didn't even hear from

509
00:43:25.519 --> 00:43:30.320
niggas. But yeah, y'all know
where to find me, hilling my homies

510
00:43:30.320 --> 00:43:43.000
and y'all know where to find me
in the streets. Yeah, So that's

511
00:43:43.079 --> 00:43:45.719
it. I hope that y'all enjoyed
this episode. Make sure that you subscribe

512
00:43:45.760 --> 00:43:49.840
to the podcast rated five stars.
They review on While You Live a Black

513
00:43:49.840 --> 00:43:52.199
Girl experienced. That's like got for
y'all. I'll