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listening. Hi, I'm Bob from Bob's Trap House. My name used to
be robbed, but that gave people the wrong impression. I sell the best
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thirty eight. How's it going, my paid and paid interns. I'm your
dungeon Master or District Manager, Alex Capps And this is Overworked and Underplayed A
D and D podcast, Buy Young Professionals for young professionals. In today's ice
Breaker, what is your character's dirty little secret that only they know about themselves.
And we're doing men first. This is like literally every other time I
know, I expected to have a little bit more time to think about it.
Okay, I know a slacker when I see. I'm Tyler. I
play the I Paladin known as Bentley, and Bentley's dirty little secret is that
he watched My Little Pony with his eight year old cousin and actually enjoyed it.
Yes, it wasn't the worst TV show he's ever watched. Okay,
so confirmed that. That confirmed that Bentley the BRONI. Hey, I'm Marjorie.
I play Amy and Amanda at Basic b Rofintel we Human Fighter. So
I don't know if you guys have heard of this card game. It's called
Egyptian Ratscrew. And she's like really really good at this game, right,
But whenever it's called Egyptian Ratscrew, she always lets people who she's teaching the
game to win. She holds back that power. Yeah, and she just
lets them win. Hi everyone, I'm Katie and I played Crystal, the
MLM boss Babe with her very own MLM Crystal Clarity, and her secret that
she has never told anyone is her last names so good. She purposefully didn't
say what her last name was. This is what my secret is. Oh
wait, you're not going to say what your last name is. Guys the
best Wait, it's not Clarity. It isn't this world apparently, but legally
no. Hi, I'm Anelyn Hardy, and I've played Taylor Jacobs, a
centaur barbarian with a heart of goals. And I almost said I played Taylor
Swift. So that's fine. So Taylor's apartment in the city is like super
small. It's one of the ones that you see that's like five hundred feet
like large, and it's twelve hundred a month, like ridiculous. So she
keeps her most prized possession in the closet. It's a really beautiful photo of
one of her favorite celebrities. And underneath the picture of this female celebrity are
tiny shelves of crystal Clarity essential oils, creating a pyramid all the way to
the floor. What happ it's your boy, Marcel Hardy playing Richard Cox,
the Human Consultants turned Haffling Bard, who Holly believes it's better to be lucky
than good, but it's best to be both and Richard's dirty little secret is
that he doesn't actually know what a pivot table is. So that is fantastic.
I love how you've just been taking it this entire time. Hi,
I'm Kyle. I play Jimmothy Sticks, a gnome artificer in this universe.
His dirty little secret is that, you know, even though he comes off
as a hardcore gamer bro, you know, dropping in with the boys,
his real favorite game is to go home and play Neopets because it's relaxing.
Yes, yeah, no, it does not. It does not. You
have to go back, and he has a server that he maintains at his
house. The official Neopets is not does not exist anymore, but they have
been fan made like archives that they've been booted up on their own. So
the DM's dirty little secret is a lot of times I don't track hit points.
There you go there, I just kind of I just kind of say,
oh, yeah, they've done enough that that guy's did your experienced,
Yeah, you've had enough, you know. Hey, listeners, this show
is made possible by the support of our awesome patrons. In addition to a
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moments. For more details about what you can get by supporting us on Patreon,
check us out at patreon dot com slash own up Pod. All right,
so when we last left off, you guys had managed to make your
way to the Great Orey. You'd made it through all of the traps and
tribulations, picked up a few things along the way, and made it to
the main ore chamber. When you got there, you guys found a massive
chamber with a pedestal with the single item at kind of the center of the
room. And as you were all walking in, amy Ann, straggling behind
a little bit, noticed something at her feet just inside the door. She
noticed a simple friendship bracelet that oddly matched the one that she was wearing on
her own wrist. Now, the rest of you, what you would find
when you get in there is you find several concentric rings starting at that center
pedestal and going outward, and you find all kinds of runic inscriptions along the
walls of this circular chamber. It's probably about ninety feet across, like in
diameter. And you see that several of these other pedestals are empty. How
many pedestals that we see? You see the one at the center, and
then you are going to see four more. Think of like a model of
the solar system. So they're not all necessarily in the same circle. Yeah,
they're in different orbits. I guess you could. Does that make sense.
That's a good analogy. And they're empty or yes, the rest of
them just appears to be stone pillars. Fizzle Bang walks in. He goes,
my god, I've worked for years to find this place. It is
real. I told them it was real. They didn't believe me. Oh
they're going to they're going to eat their words now, professor. Yes,
yes, for those of who who went to public school, can you tell
us where we are? Yes, my friend. And he comes up alongside
you and puts his hand around your back, and he holds his hands up
to the roof, and you notice as you look up that the room is
hemispherical. And he says, you find yourself in a place of amazement and
wonder. This is the main chamber of the Great Ore. This is the
place where I believe the ancients used to be able to cross the plains and
travel to and fro. What goes on these pedestals. And he looks and
you see like the look drained from his face and he goes, they're missing.
Oh no, they're missing. And he takes off running and he's like
looking at the pedestals, dusting them off and everything. The items. The
ancient texts tell us that long ago the ancients who used this place, they
had these objects of great power that they would center on these pedestals, and
they would arrange them in certain orders and certain orientations to contact and travel to
different places. And he looks and he goes, oh, thank goodness,
the astral projector is still here. And he takes off running to the center
pedestal and you see what looks to be like a small rectangular box just sitting
on it. So an actual projector. Do you want to go look at
it? Yeah, you would see it and you're like, yeah, oh
god, and it is it is like it is. It looks like a
projector like you would see like a modern projector. Now we're talking the ones
that it's like they're rolling on the cart and you gotta put the transparencies sstitute
teacher. We're watching the Magic School Buys. Yeah, not not quite the
one where you got all the slides in it, but this is definitely like
an old school projector writing with an expo on a y the transparencies. Yes,
And he said, oh, the sola is missing. But he picks
it up and turns it around. He says, well, there's this other
object called de Luxe Mela sola. It goes here and he points and you
would see what looks to be a bulb socket. So the light bulb is
missing. Okay, it's not some simple light bulb whatever that is. This
is the Luxe Mela sola. It is the light of a thousand suns.
It's going to look back over at gym. It's a lightbulb. It's an
a nineteen light bulb. Yeah, is anybody else looking around the room?
So as Ammy ann As, I'm looking at this racelet, and I'm looking
at it trying to determine if it is mine or if I can tell who
it might belong to. So you would recognize that the colors are not the
same as the colors on yours. It. Uh, you remember you made
these several years ago. You had your family union, and everyone made their
friendship bracelet and you you, but you remember it being this like multi colored
thread, and as you look at yours, it's not quite the same pattern
as yours, so you don't think it is like yours from the future of
the past. Okay, Okay to cousin, can I tell whose it might
belong to? You know it wouldn't be because you and your sisters all did
yours about the same time, so you know it's not any of theirs.
Oh, Okay. The one thing I will say is that like your family
reunion was your dad's side of the family and your uncle's side of the family,
and after the family re union there was some bad blood and so you
haven't really seen that other side of the family in probably about eight or nine
years. Okay, Yeah, these bracelets have been in a lot of mouths.
Okay, So who's nearest me? Where is everybody in the room?
So she's right at the entrance to the room. Bentley you went over to
look at the projector Jimothy you went with Bentley, where's everybody else? And
Taylor's inspecting the outside wrong of pedestals? Okay, what is Richard doing?
Yeah, Richard heard him say something about moving them an orientation, so he's
like looking to see if like the pedestals move or like what that like what
he meant by that? Okay? What was Crystal doing? Crystal stayed at
the very entrance. Okay, So Crystal, So two things are going to
happen right now. One, that's where you see everybody. Okay, Crystal,
your detect magic is still active. Okay. You would see that the
astral projector at the center of the room is lit up. You would also
notice there's something glowing by the pedestal that Richard is at, and that something
in Taylor Jacob's bag is glowing. Okay, Oh my god, Taylor,
what the heck is in your bag? I don't understand why it's glowing?
Like why what is wrong? Oh my god? Thank you for telling me.
And She's gonna open her bag and be like, I don't see anything
glowing. Do you want to take a look? Yeah? I guess,
um, Like, and so what do I walk over to Taylor and I
like peek? So you peek in? Yeah, and you would see that
her tiny little shovel is glowing. Oh but that's boring. It's your shovel,
he calls my Kate Spade and like it's a word play Asia. Yeah,
Crystal gets it. So Taylor's gonna like take the Kate Spade out and
hand it to Crystal, Like is this what's glowing? Yeah, I don't
know why. It's just like the emojis in the other room, Like I
don't understand why things are glowing all of a sudden, But your shovel,
your Kate Spade, and she holds up her fingers and quotation your Kate Spade.
Taylor's never felt more seen. That's some psychic damage there. I don't
know why. And then that the thing by Richard's also glowing, and I
don't understand what's going on. And this has just been a wild ride for
me. And I'm gonna need to take some time for meditation after this because
this is a lot. But um yeah, your your shovel thingy is glowing,
and hey, Richard, you're whatever that thing by you is glowing too,
And I'm just getting really tired of not knowing what's going on. I
don't see anything down here. Um oh, come on, you have to
see something, like and she just marches over there like if she has to
do it. She's gonna put herself and she goes to pick up whatever's going
So you pick up what looks to be a dust covered book. I guess
I will Can I read? Yes? So you wipe the dust off the
cover and the book says Universal Standard Operating Procedure. Oh that's boring, and
she just hands it back to her. Richard's like, I don't know why
it's blowing but here, and she just hands it to him and she just
walks back to Amy and like, this is just really frustrating, and no
one's seeing what she's seeing and she can't stand it. She's she thinks everyone's
gaslighting her. She's like, no, I'm slider. He doesn't like when
the turntables have turned okapiate the turnstable? Are we about to have to read
some use ups fables? That's really good? Oh that's fantastic. Hey,
Professor Fizzlebang, he said things are missing. I think there's an instruction manual
or something over here. So Fizzle Fizzlebang looks and he goes, oh,
they found some things. He looks at Bentley and Jimothy goes, one of
you are are either of you wizards? I believe I'm a paladin. I
don't think that counts as a wizard though I'm in druid. Well, he
says, maybe I can go identify this, and he walks over there.
As you're standing there, Jimothy, you hear someone go, hey, hey,
what's up? Hey? Hey, I'm down here. I look down
like you don't see anything. He's not on your belt, Pull me from
your sheath. We need, we need to talk. Kyle's gravit don't this
dagger? He says, Hey, hey, thanks for getting me out of
that box. Man. That was a solid Yeah, man, I got
more jokes, but I'm gonna he said, been stuck in that thing for
a while, you know, yet he said, he said, hey,
so what's your deal you with these people? What are y'all doing? We're
trying to figure out why we're here, what we're doing? So are you
talking quietly? Yeah? All right? Real stealth? And Bentley, I
want you to roll perception. Oh, Levin tent so screaming. So Bentley
like you're you're trying to be quiet, and everybody else is kind of like
got stuff that they're focused on. But Bentley's just kind of standing there,
you see, Jimothy, holding a dagger and you see him like whispering to
it. Do I hear the dagger whispering back? No? Okay, I
hey, Jimmothy, Yeah, Bentley, why are you talking to Why are
you talking to the dagger? Why? Nothing? I said? Why?
God? I bad at this. It's more like I'm just talking to myself,
like I'm trying to figure out does this dagger Can this dagger be stabbed
into any of these pedestals like reverse excalibur stuff. That's a good idea.
It's way better. Good job, good job to hear. So I guess
it could have something to do with the rest of this, right, Like
why is it so fancy? Can I perceive if the dagger is actually fancy
or is it just basically it says jeweled dagger? Invest I mean you see
like it's got like a big ruby in the hilt. Yeah it's yeah,
that's a pretty fancy dagger. Yeah, I'm fancy as fuck. Yeah,
dagger becomes the main character. Yeah. So I'm just kind of looking at
it, kind of talking to myself, like, I wonder if I could
put this in something. You're doing a great champ carry on, Bentley is
gonna try and listen though, So you're trying to listen without being obvious.
Okay, so you're gonna need to make a stealth check. That's a twelve.
So the dagger. So you're with these guys, you're all trying to
figure all this stuff out. He goes, what kind of stuff you like
to do? You know, we're like hanging out now, right, Oh
my god, work friends. You know, I've been I've been stuck in
that box for a while. So like you're the first person I've gotten to
talk to, and like, I don't know, two hundred years, three
hundred years. Fuck, I don't know. I'm a I'm a dagger.
Like, what do you like to do for fun? It's weird. Um,
we like to do the same things, you know, sliding slots,
Oh my god, slide into boxes. It's okay. I've been stuck in
one before. He's hurt that before. Oh, he says. He says,
that's cool, that's cool. Hey, what's your moral compass? Like,
do you like to you like to do crime? I love crime?
Okay, you definitely hear him say I love crime looking at this dagger.
But he's just gonna like shake his head and chalk it up to uh talking
about to Jim the b being weird and just gonna be like going, I
think, okay cool. I'm also still at three hit points, so you
know, maybe I'm just delirious. Yeah, so the Dagger, the Dagger
whispers, She goes, all right, well, look, look, we
don't want to draw too much suspicion, like we should just keep this between
us. But I think we're gonna go far. Kid. You can call
me Gary. All right, Gary, he says, sheath me going about
your business. But I think we're gonna go far. Kid. He's like,
hey, but you see that projector over there, Yeah, that would
look really cool on your shelf, wouldn't it. Fuck Yeah? Would you
should totally do that. I'm gonna okay cool, I'm here for you,
kid, all right, So back to the rest of you. So Fizzle
Bang makes it over there to you guys, and he like first thing he
does, he looks at the universal soop and he like flips through it and
it's all blank pages. This is truly peculiar. And you see him like
wave his hand over it in a little bit of like a blue or illuminates
around it and his hand and he says interesting. This is very interesting,
he says, this book has the ability for you to learn how to operate
any apparatus. Hey, professor, it's glowing like she like raises her hand
like so she wants brownie points, you know, and she's just like I
saw a glowing earlier. He says, Oh, yes, yes, you
know you have a little bit of magic. You you detected the magic inherent
in these objects. I have a little bit of magic. Excuse me.
And as you turn you definitely see something glowing on Jimothy's waist. Oh shit,
is it in his pants? Because that determines whether or not. No,
it's just it's like on belt. Well, since I pointed out all
the other magical items, I'm gonna be like also, like I saw Taylor's
tailor holds it up like lets me see that, and you see he takes
it and he looks at it and he's he's like he like licks it and
he's like point interesting. Interesting, this is this is very Have you have
you used this much? No? I don't think very and he starts waving
it around like through the area. Goes well, right now, it just
functions as a magical dagger, but with proper application, and you see as
he like grips the handle slight like just right, all of a sudden,
the Kate spade turns into an axe, and it's this like it's like the
same pattern of like your purse was. Like the blade is nice and of
all of all the metalwork is gold and has like says Kate's spade, and
the axe has kind of a shovel head look to it, but it's sharp
on all a. He goes, it becomes a big battle axe. I
can't believe you haven't been using this thing. And then he goes, he
goes, oh well, and it snaps back to the dagger and he hands
it back to you. Taylor looks at it with new eyes. It's like,
oh my god, this is even better than the great Sword. So
I just like hers. I also see, you know, I saw the
book, much to Richard not giving me credit for that, but whatever.
And I also saw Jimithy has a thing on his belt that's glowing too,
like I don't understand why things are glowing for me, but clearly I'm special.
So it's about this time all the glowing stops. She's not gonna tell
anybody that, yeah, and she's like, but also, Jimothy's belt thing
is his pants are glowing, and I'm not I'm not stupid enough to ask
him outright what's going on there, but I'm sure you would be very interested
to know, he says. He says, yes, you can see these
things because you are I always assumed you were a druid? Are you not
of the Druidic faith? I'm more of belief and self. I'm not really
religious, mostly just self manifesting and sound. I mean, like I don't
know what that means, so faith, yes, in myself mostly, He
says. Have you never turned into a creature? Is that not the second
time that someone's asked Chrystall if she could change into the second? Why?
No? What normal people can't do that? Like, I don't understand why
you're asking me this question. So the first time Fizzle Bang was just like
offhanded, but he's like, you're serious. You don't know what you are.
I'm a Crystal. I know exactly what I am. Okay, I'm
a boss baby, owner of my very own CEO company. I cannot I
do not understand why people keep questioning my validity in this world, But I
swear to God once I find this other bitch, I am going to murder
her. I am crystal of crystal clarity. As you do this, he
notices something with your glasses and he's like, sunglasses. You talk about your
sunglasses up on your head? Yes, they are up on my head obviously.
You know. Normally the druids they have something they use to like focus
their primal energies into. He says, I believe it's your glasses. I
mean it's not very bright in here, but I guess I'll test it out.
And he says. He sits there and thinks for a minute, and
he goes, well, this is one that's fairly common for druids to have.
He says, uh, here, take this stick, and he finds
he hands you like a quarter staff, and he says, I want you
to put your glasses on and then focus on the stick and focus on on
like if you had to really hit someone hard with this thing, and you
would want it to like really hurt them. I want you to see see
what you can do. Okay. So she takes her glasses off of her
forehead, swishes her hair, and puts them on her on her eyes,
and then she takes the thing and she just imagines, like the other crystals,
can Taylor assist? Sure, Taylor's gonna look at crystal and be like,
let's get jazzed with my idea. She was gonna go for the crystal
other crystal space, but now she sees Taylor space and she's mad. And
so the stick lights up green and he said, you did it. Congratulations
you cast She Lailey, what your magic stick turned? When you domed that
bear? The light immediately goes out. She's like, I try really hard
to remember that. She dis't herself, he says. He says, you
need to. You could talk to a druid. Maybe they could help you
with the rest of your magic, but you you can cast speedles. Um,
that's cool. Um, thanks for the help. Fizzle Bang, are
you welcome? Like, She's like, but you said I could turn into
animals, and I'm very curious, Like, how would one go about doing
that? Well? He said, I have never personally polymorphed or transmuted any
of these other such things, but I've read about it. Definitely means I
should trust you, he says, I want you to think. He goes,
did you have a pet ever growing up? Um? I had a
caterpillar. You had a caterpillar gonna turn into a butterfly. Cute, okay,
really quickly. So so he said, uh, he said, that's
sad. Uh. He says, I want you to close your eyes and
I want you to think about the caterpillar. Visualize the caterpillar. Okay,
And she does exactly that. Okay, she closed her eyes, visualizes the
caterpillar. And then a flash and you guys, see Crystal is missing.
Everybody, stop what you're doing. Crystal is gone, not gone. And
he like he takes his torch and like holds it down, and there's just
a little caterpillar crawling across the floors, wiggling. Yeah, it's got it's
got tiny little little barbary. This is panic. This is like, oh
my god, what have I died? He yells. He starts yelling to
you. He says, he says, all right, now think about being
a human again. And oh, well human ish and she's just like you
can see the caterpillar just stop moving and dance as straight as a board concentration
and then puff Crystal's back. But she's laying on the ground like planking.
Good. That's she's completely friend and like she's like with her fore arms out
planking, and she's like she like looks and like to the left and the
right, and then she just like stands up and like shakes her hair,
takes her sunglasses off and puts them on her forehead again, and she's like,
I'm not doing that again. I'm not doing it again. You cannot
make me do that again. That was horrible. Never again, never again,
never again. This is you. You're very impressive. Was your magic
you just told me I had little Well, no, this is this is
I wasn't expecting that to actually work. Shit. I just want to call
her. Well, that's dramatic. Alia really puts a new spin on chrysalis.
Oh good, that's the science joke. Cikey collective groan. That's okay.
Yeah, she's like she's just gonna stop doing basically is she's gonna try
her best never to do that ever again. Okay. So so fizzle Bang
goes back over goes, can I see that soop again? Yes? Absolutely,
So he takes it and he say he goes, I'm going to go
focus on this for a second. Feel free to look around or anything.
So then we cut back to Amien. Yeah, so I think when they
were yelling about Crystal, she kind of broke out of looking at her bracelet.
Who's nearest to her, She's gonna walk over to Bentley Bentley Bentley,
I need I need an adult h So I just found this. I just
found this on the ground. This is uh do you see this? And
she hands the bracelet that she found to him. See this is this real?
Uh? Real? In regards to it looks like something a second grader
would be. Well, yeah, and she shows from the one that she
has. Okay, did you make that in second grade? No? No,
just so that was good practice for this one though. So Okay,
I'm a little worried. I don't really know where we are. I'm not
this is not my you know, uh speciality. I guess if you want
to say that, I really feel like this might mean something. Um.
I also kind of remembered I had a dream when I saw that whirlpool in
the wall. Okay, so pause it. There no need to take this
off line. Overworked and underplayed will circle back after these messages Bentley when she
says that a bit of a chill runs down your spine, Bentley, because
because because you also you also remember what you thought was a dream where you
saw whirlpool in a mirror. I think I saw that something like that in
anime ones. Oh wow, okay, well I don't know. It seems
like it might be related or deja vu. I know that's a that's a
thing too. So hey, yeah, no, that that's definitely a real
bracelet. Okay, no illusions going on here. Yeah, so Bentley,
you had noticed the bracelet reads Amanda dds. Amanda DDS. Yeah, what
what is that? Oh? So that's dds is a doctor of dental surgery.
So it's from one of my relatives. Um min Mine says the same
thing, because you're all dentists, saying, oh yeah, okay, well
most of us so uh mouth huh what what? Two molars in a mouth?
Okay, Bentley, what do you what should I do? Should?
This seems like a fizzle bang thing? I mean maybe this is related to
us going home? Sure? Why don't you ask Fizzlebank? Might no have
an idea? Or can hear me out here? You could never He's buried
deep down like oh my childhood drama. Bottle it up and forget it.
Ever, Yeah we should ask. I didn't actually say that, ask Fizzlebank
he might know something that's kind of weird. Maybe I don't know. Has
anyone of your family got missing, not that I know of. When you
do you see amout the kind of family that would notice something, Yeah,
I pretty much would. So okay, okay, so she's gonna go be
line to Fizzlebank. Okay, So this is about the time Crystal came back
and you see her jump up and her scream about never doing that again.
You're not really sure what but oh, thank god, Kristal, don't do
that anymore. Trust me, I won't. I kind of wanted to strain
into a horse. So that Taylor does. Friend, he turns and he
says, oh, is Amanda? How can I be of suck? Hey,
professor? So I just found this bracelet at the entrance of the room
here, and I think it's from one of my family. I'm a little
confused. Um are you? He like leans in whispers and like to you
and you alone, he goes, So she leans down really far. Yeah,
okay, are you actually from here? And no, no, we're
from Atlanta. We told you that. Okay. I was just making sure.
So this isn't something, This isn't like a this isn't like a you
need to make this go away kind of thing, like what no, nothing?
Uh, he says uh. He says, let me examine this,
and he he looks at it and he's like interesting. You see him wave
his hand over it as well. He goes very interesting. And he puts
it on and you don't see his mouth move, but you hear him say
testing. Can you hear me? Why? I can hear you say something?
But your mouth isn't moving. No, no, he sees his mouth
isn't moving. He's holding his hands up like he goes, don't speak,
just think okay um, And she's trying really hard. It's like hello,
he says, it works. It's dark driman one of those people that doesn't
have an inner monologue. I can't imagine an apple. Yes, trying really
hard. I'm like have a thought like he's very dumb. It is intelligence
my teeth and and he says, he's interesting. He takes it off and
he says, he says, yes, this this, uh, this,
I believe this allows you to communicate telepathically with the where of the other bracelet?
But how did it get here? I thought you brought it here?
No, it was in the floor it was in the floor. Yes,
when we entered this room in the sea chamber. Yes, this chamber has
not as far as I know, has not been visited in three hundred years.
It maybe longer. I mean, this is just made out of cotton,
so I imagine it isn't that old. Perhaps that is why the looks
me le sola is missing. What is that the thingy that goes into the
astral projector? Oh, okay, it's not a bulb whatever that is.
It's not a tulip um okay, because she had missed that entire conversation that
she has no idea what you're talking about. That's great. Um, so
what should I? I mean, this seems like related to why we're here.
I mean, I don't know why my relative bracelet would be here.
I mean, well, obviously they must have been here at some point,
but I can't imagine what they could do here. It's not like you could
travel between the planes without all of the items here, and they're all missing
except for the projector. He says, this will require much more research when
we return back to Lavron. But I will look into this matter for you,
because this is not without saying, this would be very important for my
research, he says, But in the meantime, you should hold on to
this. I believe it will be of great value to you and your friends.
Okay, So she takes in, puts it on her other wrists,
and she just think I was going to say, is that the implication of
all of a sudden now you can't have an internal model? You're like,
oh god, no off, Okay, Well, I think so this seems
strange though, I can't shake this weird feeling, he says. This whole
day has been weird for you, really, I think so, it's just
weird for all of us. It almost feels like this was too easy,
doesn't it. I mean we almost died if I hadn't figured out the sushi
problems. Yeah, I don't don't say that. Do you think that I
should have been more difficult? Well, this is a place of great importance
and great power. Of course, that would also explain how the other items
were missing, unless they were hidden. I don't know this will acquire much
research, but like the dagger bracelet, soop situation would be what we need
to put on the pedestal, Like, is it that easy? No,
I've been studying the soop, and I believe I have a good grasp on
how this contraption works, he says, Studying a blank book, he opens
it up now and all the pages are full of illustrations and information, and
he says, this book is very intriguing. You can find any kind of
contraption or artifact or item, and if you focus on it long enough,
it fills in the blanks on how to make the item work or what's missing
from it. And he says, so far we knew about the Luxemilee sole.
He says, of course, the astral projector, the Fae mirror,
the plan a focus in the planar lens, and he says, in the
crystal of ur j like, what does that do? Well, I don't
know what it does. This only tells me what's missing. It doesn't tell
me what those things do. But from the illustration, you put these things
on the pedestal and the light of a thousand suns shoots out from the astral
projector and it depending on how you have these arranged, it interacts with different
planes of reality, he says. But I think all of these items have
a very heavy signature of old magic. If you give me some time,
I might be able to fabricate some way of locating them. How much time
exactly? Yeah, that's it depends. Okay, So do we need to
get you back to the lab? Yes, we need to make it okay,
Yes, that's that's without saying we need to make it back to Lavron
most haste. Do we need to take the projector? He's already putting it
in his bag. Yeah, I was gonna. I was gonna suggest we
take that so we know which light bulb goes in the hole. Are there
any other items in this room that would be helpful for research? He looks
around. He says, well, there's some inscriptions, but I think I
have everything I need. Okay. Richard is going to take his phone out
and just take pictures of said descriptions. Just kay, are there any other
doors? Are as? Immediately roll me a percentile die that's eighty four.
Okay, so your phone is down to seventy five percent battery. It's not
that bad considering we've been here three days. Yeah, no, my phone's
battery's never lasted this long. This is great. Physics works different. Here
is like an old note, a bunch of constantly charging it a little bit.
So are you making our way out of this room town. Oh all
right, and there's the DCMA strike. So you guys, are are you
doing anything else in the orey or are you proceeding back out there? Anything
else to do? I don't think there was anything we have it. Yeah,
I feel like we've looked around. Yes, okay, is there anything
else of note in there? DMS like you missed a very important chest?
No, I think y'all. I think y'all pretty much cleared it out.
Okay, So as you're leaving, Jimothy, here's a hey doing a great
kid? Where are we going? I look down to my road we're leaving?
Yeah, obviously, where are you taking this? Like? Where are
we going? We're going back to the town we came from. Oh.
I like towns, lots of suckers. I got some ideas when we get
to town, and good news. We're bringing the projector with us. Perfect
Jimmy, who are you talking to my dick? I'm still stealthy at this
point. It's been like twelve hours since I've had caffeine. I'm on three
hit points. Yeah, I'm just talking to my Yeah, so I will
definitely help jim Yeah. So my thought was that, you know. So
I'll leave with the rest of you guys, and I'll walk up behind Jimmy
and see how how much you look like shit. So I'm just gonna try
and help you, all right, help you out there. But yeah,
I'm gonna write that down. What I'm gonna say is like, basically,
when you guys get to the cart, you use one of the uses of
your medical kit. All right, But did I hear him say that to
his crotch? I would say, yes, Jimmy, Yeah, who are
you talking to you there? I mean, I know you're you know,
it's different now, but it seems kind of weird, right, Do you
need Do you need some help? Medical assistance? I do need medical assistance.
Yes, that's a good call. Just just get her focused on your
physical wounds. We've said it enough to therapy here mental wounds. He's been
reflected. Hey, professor fizzle Bang, Yes, you said that. We
had to do this in a hurry because there were other people coming by.
Like it seems like we were able to do this. I mean it's still
the same day. It was like a couple of hours maybe like no one's
here, like, yeah, but where should we be? Should we be
like on the lookout for anybody, or yes, yes, we're going to
take a different route on our return. How do we like lock up so
to speak? This is I think we just close the doors back. I
mean, it's not like they're going to find anything if they get here.
And Richard wants to like move the candle wax away from Wisconsins so that they
have a good idea. Yeah, screw those guys. So you guys make
it out, you make it back to the wagon. I need everyone to
make a perception check. Richard got an eighteen, okay, Bentley got a
twenty one seven. Taylor got a ten. Taylor got a ten. So
Bentley, you would hear what sounds like movement in the woods off a little
ways away from where the dungeon itself was. But you look over there and
you don't see anything. Bentlan's gonna like stare intently. Bitlan's gonna be like,
hey, hey, guys, I heard something over there. I'm gonna
do take a look if y'all want to, like, oh, be careful
watch my back. Um. Crystal got to twenty three. Okay, So
the twenty three you would see about four little creatures like Nimeo in the woodlock
like tree line, and you would see they're drawing their bows. What was
Nimeo again? It was a goblin's I thought, so, um, I'll
take this a little bit of alcohol it so nobody be alarmed. But I
think we may have company. Maybe I don't know. They don't look super
friendly to me, but I see four little bartenders, like, oh my
god, you're so good. Crystal By turns like he hears that, and
he says, you saw what they're like? Little bartenders. I just like
they look like the people that were serving as strings. Wait, hold on,
you said little botten little like green guys. Yeah, I'd say they're
probably green. Did they want to sign a color to them? Yes?
Everyone in the cart, now we need to leave. Why they probably just
want to brands trains. It's about that time. Uh, it's about that
time. No, Bentley, you would hear coming through the air. Bentley
is gonna like try and drop to the ground. Okay, do you tell
me they're shooting. There's something shooting, So you dropped to the ground and
fizzle Bank says everyone in the cart, now let's go, Well except for
miss Jacobs, but run how far away did I make it? You were
about twenty feet away from the cart. Okay, so I can get back,
can't. You did the arrows, I'm assuming they like went over me.
Yeah, they whistle past you, and they don't strike the cart,
but they definitely hit the ground. A couple of them bounce off of rocks,
and you, guys, hear what sounds like chanting coming from the forest.
Language. Sound like I'm not going to do that, Marjorie. Yeah,
and you see about ten more emerge from the tree line. So Fizzlebang
is already like whipped the reins and he has taken off everyone in the car.
Yeah, everybody but Bentley is in the car. Bentley and Taylor Jacobs
right, well, Tylor and so. So fizzle Bang is smacking the reins.
So he's about fifty feet away from you. Now Bentley's like running as
fast as he came. Is like, wait, wait, wait wait wait,
okay, make an acrobatics check. Thirteen plus said acrobatics. Yes,
oh it's eleven. Okay, So within eleven, you like slam your foot
right into a rock and you almost eat shit, but you managed to stumble
a little bit. But you're not gonna be able to sprint. Can I
reach out from the back of the cart and grab for Bentley's hand. Is
your is your arm thirty feet long? I was gonna say so, like,
Taylor's definitely definitely not gonna leave Bentley to deal with this by himself.
Okay, So what is Taylor doing? So you said Bentley like eight shit?
Yeah, well he almost did. He like stumbled a little bit and
he can you hear more coming through the air. So Taylor's gonna extend her
hand to Bentley and try and get him onto her back so they can take
off running. Wow. Cool, Bentley, what is your acc is sixteen?
Because that's why brother, get in the cart. We gotta do so
sixteen. What I was gonna say, is one of the arrows like strikes
the back of your armor, like you feel it, but it just kind
of glances off and you see as Taylor Jacobs comes galloping up and extends her
arm out to you so valiant, like so epic, get on my back,
Bentley, we gotta go. Bentley's gonna be late. Yeah, let's
go, let's go. Let's go. Okay, so you are okay,
So Tylor Jacobs, make me a strength check, so that'd be athletics that's
a nineteen plus number. Okay, and Bentley make an acrobatics check to to
like hoist yourself up. That's an athletics right, yeah, that's a twenty
four. Okay, twenty four for athletics. I got a four for acrobatics.
All right. Well, what I'm gonna say is because she rolled above
a twenty like you cross the Yeah, you're you're you're like you're not riding
as much as you're like your saddle and you're just holding on for dear life.
And Taylor Jacobs, what is your acift? Okay? So you see
three arrows streak past you and then one gets you right in the ass and
you take two points of piercing damage. No cool there is like so they
can catch up, there's like an arrow sticking out her out of her hind
quarters and she is just hauling ass and fizzle bang. He's not playing around.
He's like full grand theft auto running like he's got that cart going like
y'all are bouncing up out of it and stuff, and he's like, oh,
we barely made it out of that, Well we didn't. We gotta
slow down just a little bit. No, they'll be fine, she'll catch
up. She's fast. My cheek, my cheek can Bentley like get up
right right? It up on her back. You can try to make another
let's see make me an animal handling check Bentley rules in nineteen. Okay,
that's good enough. Bentley like flips back around. Where are you putting your
hands? No? No, hold on, I want to know where are
you putting the hands? Well, I was gonna say, I guess around
the waist, but Bentley was gonna grab the arrow, pull it out.
Okay, so bad, I'm gonna site the worst bucking in our life.
I want to use. I want to warn him like this might hurt,
pull it out, and then lay on hands like heal you your that's that's
fair. So so you feel this about the hr complete so so so as
he flips back around, he sees the arrow, he grabs it and warns
you. He rips it out, and you feel the sharp pain like there's
a real pain in the ass. But then you feel this warm, comforting
feeling as you realize he's literally got his hand on technically your ass that is,
but your but it feels better. I don't hand I'm pretty sure it's
a touch. Yeah, you don't have to touch the wound. How else
would you do it? Did you just touch the person? Okay? And
since I'm sitting on already, well you feel a warm feeling on your butt
and suddenly I feel better? All right? So moving on, Yes,
moving on. So what I'm gonna say is is you guys take a different
route to get back to the city, but you are going to have to
spend one night out in the countryside. Okay, you know, after about
a half hour of galloping, he says, Okay, I think the coast
is clear from here on out. And he says, but we need to
take this route. He takes you at a fork in the road further south
from Lavron. He goes, We're going to circle around this patch of the
forest. He says, we should be safe here this this road is mostly
guarded and there's a lot of once we once we get past the forest,
we'll be on the main road. Have we passed any guards up? You've
passed various people riding horses and carts and stuff like that. Is there like
on the right end, did Bentley like pick up anythinking like you know how
when you're when you're driving, people flash their life. But there's cops that
way, we like notify them. Hey, there's gamblets that way. He
makes like a little hand gesture and the other people are like nodding their heads.
It's Bentley still on back and got the cart the first chance he got.
So anyways, Uh, do you have any more questions for Fizzlebang?
What do we need to do when we get back? We need to report
these findings to the to CEO. Okay. From there, I believe given
the completion of tasks on your contract, it'll probably be time for a performance
appraisal. Okay, who is CEO exactly? I feel like we've talked about
him very briefly, but i'd love to hear from you. Yes, he's
the head of Blue Girl. Haven't you met him? No, all a
part of our party. He turns, he goes, he goes, Richard,
you've met him, right? Yeah, Matt Damon not a not a
nice like the movie star, not like the movie star. Yeah, he
acts like Matt Demon. He's not your supervisor, but he's the one who
issued the contract and hands out the you know, rewards for certain aspects of
the contract. Oh cool, so now we get Yeah, possibly yes,
depending on how happy he is with deal performance. Well, I'm sure we're
doing an amazing job, so I'm sure we'll all receive amazing performance reviews,
so I'm not worried about that. So, because the roads are fairly well
patrolled, you guys spend one night out in the woods, have to rest,
and you wake up the next morning feeling pretty good, and you take
a pretty gentle ride along a very familiar road. You'd find where you came
out from the woods was very close to where you first came out of the
woods. And you ride back into Lavron. And so you guys make it
over to the corporate district and make it to the bluegal building. So as
you enter the lobby, you see that Matt Damon is actually in the lobby
and he says, excellent, I'm glad you're all here. I was expecting
you. Great work everyone, Now let's discuss those promotions. A gratitude today
keeps the haters away, and that's why we want to thank you for listening
to Overworked and Underplayed. You just heard Alex caps As our dm Anelyn Hardy's
Taylor Jacobs, Katie is Crystal two point zero, Marjorie's Amy Anne, Marcel
Hardy is Richard Cox, Tyler as Bentley, and Kyle as Jimmy Styx.
Episodes are edited by Marcel and circle Back episodes are edited by Katie. We
hope you enjoyed it and we'll circle back in two weeks on June first for
the next episode. You can help us to get the word out by rating,
reviewing, and subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also follow
us on social at Ona pod, that's owwn up, p o D,
Subreddit, r slash on up, is it gonna come? Goddamn, oh
my god, Adelaide, not you too, I missed that. I'm too
light. Russians, says you squeak and see what happens is and she said,
is it gonna come