Cornish Christmas play by William Sandy's Enter the Turkish Knight. Open your doors and
let me in. I hope your favors. I shall win, whether I
rise or whether I fall. I'll do my best to please you all.
Saint George is here and swears he will come in. And if he does,
I know he'll pierce my skin. If you will not believe what I
do say, Let Father Christmas come in. Clear the way retires, Enter
Father Christmas. Here come I Old Father Christmas. Welcome or welcome not?
I hope Old Father Christmas will never be forgot. I am not come here
to laugh or to jeer, but for a pocketful of money and a skinful
of beer. If you will not believe what I do say, come in,
King of Egypt, clear the way, Enter the King of Egypt.
Here I the King of Egypt. Boldly do appear, Saint George. Saint
George, walk in my only son and heir. Walk in my son,
Saint George, and boldly act thy part that all the people here may see
thy wondrous art. Enter Saint George. All right, here come I Saint
George from Britain. Did I spring? I'll fight the dragon bold my wonders
to begin. I'll clip his wings. He shall not fly. I'll cut
him down, or else I die. Enter the dragon. Whoo's he that
seeks the dragon's blood and calls so angry and so loud, that English dog?
Will he before me stand? I'll cut him down with my courageous hand,
with my long tea than scurvy jaw of such I'd break up half a
score and stay my stomach till i'd more. Come on, then, you
big beast, Saint George and the dragon fight. Ah, good lord,
your breath stinks. Ah hot, hot hot, my mustache, my eyebrows.
Actually that looks rather fetching. Right the latter is killed? Ahem?
Is there a doctor to be found already near at hand to cure a deep
and deadly wound? To make the champion stand? Enter? Doctor? Oh,
yes, there's a doctor to be found already near at hand, to
cure a deep and deadly wound and make the champion stand? What can you
cure? All sorts of diseases? Whatever you please? Is the physic,
the palsy and the gout. If the devil's in, I'll blow him out.
What is your fee? Fifteen pounds it is my fee, the money
to lay down. But as to such a rogue as they are, cure
for ten pound. I carry a little bottle of ali. Campaign here jack,
take a little of my flip flop, pour it down thy tip top,
Rise up and fight again. The doctor performs his cure. The fight
is renewed, and the dragon again is killed. Here am i Saint George,
that worthy champion, bold, and with my sword and spear I won
three crowns of gold. I fought the fiery dragon and brought him to the
slaughter. By that I won fair Sabra, the King of Egypt's daughter.
Where is the man that now will me defy? I'll cut his gibblets full
of holes and make his buttons fly. The Turkish Knight advances. Here,
come I the Turkish Knight, come from the Turkish land to fight. I'll
fight Saint George, who is my foe. I'll make him yield before I
go. He brags to such a high degree he think there's none can do
the like of he. Where is the Turk that will before me stand?
I'll cut him down with my courageous hand. The fight. The knight is
overcome and falls on one knee. Oh, pardon me, Saint George,
pardon of the I crave, Oh, pardon me this knight, and I
will be thy slave. No pardon shalt thou have while I have foot to
stand. So rise THEE up again and fight out. Sword in hand.
They fight again, and the Knight is killed. Father Christmas calls for the
doctor, with whom the same dialog occurs as before, and the cure is
performed. Enter the Giant Turpin. Here come I, the giant bold Turpin
is my name, And all the nations round do tremble at my fame.
Where'er I go, they tremble at my sight. No lord or champion along
with me would fight. Here's one that dares to look THEE in the face,
and soon will send THEE to another place. Take that that at you,
sir, Take that you will have to be quicker than that, sir.
Haha. Not the face, not the face. Oh no out oh
yeah, a palpable hit. Oh gotcha, oh wow, oh oh oh
oh oh, And the giant is killed. Medical aid is called in as
before, and the cure performed by the doctor, who, then, according
to the stage direction, is given a basin of girdy grout and a kick
and driven out. Now, ladies and gentlemen, your sport is most ended,
So prepare for the hat, which is highly commended. The hat it
would speak if it had but a tongue. Come throw in your money and
think it no wrong