WEBVTT

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This episode is sponsored by Cards Against
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us not to read an ad?
So enjoy the show, Sucker, schools

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out and summertimes here and that can
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up in America's Top College Comedians,
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different of the men. So many
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Heads Scripted Kingdom where the whole family
gets its taste. Everybody having fun in

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the sun nowhere, not because it's
the sun. The sun really sucks the

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son. It steals my powers.
I'm reverse Superman. I was Mortal Man.

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Now I can't dejection. I am
still on a singing tear reverse Superman.

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Oh I hate the Sun. Yeah, Hi, everybody, I'm David

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Flora. I am David Steka Son
hate and David Flora. Yeah I am.

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I want to be a cave dweller. And you know what, but

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I spend more time in the sun
that I want to. I ride my

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bike, I played. I played
volleyball yesterday. Idiot. Yeah it was

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an idiot move. Do I shave
my beard off because there's too much sand

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in it and I got so tired
of like trying to get it all out,

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as like, get the beard's coming
off. Yeah, I actually like

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volleyball. Hashtag summer problem, hashtaghtag
trailer. Welcome to you, blurry photos

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everybody. We man, we're gonna
have fun with this one. Don't come

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here looking for a bunch of a
learning and a but we we kind of

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put that in the description of the
podcast. We're like, you're gonna learn

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something with We're gonna learn something weird. Remember that this time. I remember

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when that was our Hey learn something
weird. We used to do that,

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yeah, real creepily. Yeah,
we used to get arrested a lot that.

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I used to smell their hair.
Hey, learn something weird. What

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are you pushing me for? What
you who whoa whoa whoa whoa. I

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was just sniffing your hair, apricots. No, okay, uh, We're

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just gonna have fun in this episode. We're just having fun. It's just

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having fun. We're having fun.
We're talking about camp fire ghosts, can

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fire ghost stories called the baitch our
Gigger. Yeah, just uh you know,

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once a year we get Gigger,
let loose and go frog Giger and

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get gigger with it. Tell some
tell some silly stories. A lot of

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these are they're terrifying. Are just
don't row this episode. If it if

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it's dark out, you need like
high noon, middle of a baseball field

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friends. Yeah, God's sake,
you need all the support you can get

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because of the emotional haft of these
stories. Just halft. Yeah, you

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you prepare yourself mentally. If you
haven't yet paused the episode, yep,

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i'll And we're back. But but
we've we've got some picked out, you

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know, like like we do.
I feel like we're gonna get back to

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our roots a little on this one. The roots are our ruts. Yeah,

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like so yeah, we're just we're
just gonna have fun, tell some

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story. And is that If that's
too intense for you, then go well

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if you if you're if you've got
to stick up your butt, then yeah,

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we're just having fun. I want
to do is keeping a real because

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we're keeping a real because we're keeping
a real So I guess since since we've

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paused and I'm thinking about it,
everybody, take a minute to go over

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to our blurry photos fan page on
Facebook. Oh God, that thing's awesome.

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Clairvoyant Katie set that up and it
is populated by some of the nicest

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people on earth. That's right.
Join the blurry ever ranks on there.

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I think they post stories and stuff
to each other. You can also talk

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about it. Yeah, yeah,
just it only hurts my feelings stuff.

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So yeah, go over and hit
them up. Join that group. And

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it's kind of like, you know, a lot of people have said,

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hey, set up a forum on
your side or something. This is a

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good in between for that that.
Yeah, i'd a good way to interact

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with other readers. We as we
We just had our our live chat last

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night, yes this reporting. Um. We were talking about like how we

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there's a lot of things that we
still want to add and do, but

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we we have not bitten off more
than we can chew. But we've bitten

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off as much as we can chew. We are chewing as hard as we

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can. We're we're swallowing and subsequently
pooping out product. Yeah, yeah,

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I'm feeling good. I feel like
I'm getting caught up. Yeah, at

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least May was a tough month.
Was a very tough month. We had

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we had all the Patreon stuff,
plus we had the Miss Cryptic contest.

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Plus Flora was in rehab for a
few days, and then and then when

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he got out of that, right
back into dhab, which you know you

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should have noted. We we had
talked about not discussing on the bad my

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bad, but okay, Yeah,
but June, June's been nice. June's

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been a nice catch up. Bonus
track is on its way out for for

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May. Yeah, they're Oh.
One thing I want to throw out there

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the podcast Awards. Oh yeah,
we didn't win, no way. We

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are quickly becoming the Leonardo DiCaprio of
podcasts. Yeah that's okay, we get

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more attention for that. There was
another podcast that deals in paranormal stuff and

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also fancies themselves jokesters who won.
Oh no way, so they're better than

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us, I guess so yeah,
so be it. I guess it used

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to be that NASA just kicked our
ass. Now anybody can line up and

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do it. Yeah, yeah,
so be it. We're the darlings of

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the indie circuit. But hitk you
off for voting. To take you guys

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so much to go into that and
cast your your votes collectively and individually.

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But let's let's get to the front. Yeah, I just figured i'd ask

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and there. No, it's good, all right. This one's called raw

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head and bloody balls. I can
read it like that. It's just,

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oh, come on, that's a
lawn. Why did you do your New

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Orleans accent? Everybody loves it?
Oh god, yeah, people get so

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mad at us, like for weird, Like yeah, we just we're just

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being silly. This story I'll be
read in a New Orleans accent. Make

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sure to get you'all snuckleballs back and
a deep bay, a scrawn a old

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woman who had a reputational hall being
the best can woman in the Ozarks.

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There's there's regionality in here. Oh
can't be. It's got a baby in

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the arts. Yeah, it's so
lucky. You better put that snuckaball on

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vana sausage away. See. The
thing is, we've been doing that forever

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because way back in what what was
it that we wanted or swamp, Yeah

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it was or Honey Island swamp Monsters. Is little video of somebody in New

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Orleans that was or just outside that
was like, uh yeah, giving tours

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on Honey Island, and he's like, yeah, sometimes we go on down

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here and get the We just get
a seal, a snuckaball and Vienna sausage.

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We just go on here on the
swamp and yeah, we honey on

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a small monster like like those are
the like, oh, I'm going for

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a hike, Honey, do we
have any snicker bars in Vienna Sausages?

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And from then on, Dave and
I have been like, yeah, Hey,

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that's that's it. That's our cajn
accent right there, snuck a ball

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in Vana. All right, let's
let's just do some stories. Here's man

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New Orleans has like sixteen accents.
Yeah, and they all are beyond my

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capability. Half of you sound like
you're from Jars eight. Yeah, Ryan,

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down here, where's your accent?
Tough guy, Josh, didn't hear

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much accent out of you, sir, Huh. Anyway, you guys are

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awesome. Um, we don't give
us. We love it when you get

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mad at us. Yep, who
cares. Way back in the deep woods,

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they're lived a scrawny old woman.
I'm gonna need some kind of accent.

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Well, I'm gonna need some kind
of accent. Way back in the

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date woods, they're lamped a scrawny
old woman. He at her reputation for

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being the beth Condurin woman in the
old arc. She had her bedraggled black

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and gray hair, funny ass one
with yellow on the other with green,

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and her crooked nose. All Betty
with not a pre a picture. But

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she was the best. There was
that fixing what ailed a man. Oh,

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00:10:05.639 --> 00:10:11.200
and that was all that counted.
Old Betty Bamboolam's house was full of

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herbs and roots and bottled filled with
conjuring medicine. The walls were lined with

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strange books brimming with magical spells.
Old Betty was the only one living in

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the hollow who knew how to read, on account of her granny, who

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was also a conjurer, had taught
her the skill as a part of her

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magical training. Rich just about the
only friend Old Betty had, with a

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tough, mean old razor back hog
that ran wild round her place. It

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rooted so much in her kitchen garbage
that all the left over fells started affecting

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it. Some folks swore up and
down with the old razorback hog sometimes walked

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upright like a man. One fellow
claimed he thinged the pigs sitting in the

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rocker and Old Betty's porch, chattering
away to her while she stowed up some

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potions in the kitchen. What everyone
diathcount of that story? On account I

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have a fellow told it with a
little too fall in the moonshine and even

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00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:09.919
drunk. Am I getting a little
Betty ever saw here? It's a it's

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00:11:09.960 --> 00:11:16.000
a mixture of that in Boone County. Yeah, bludlyther f blacked raw Head

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with the name Old Betty gave the
razor back, referring maybe to the way

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the ugly creature looked a bit like
some dead pigs come butchering time down and

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the hogs scaled hollow. That's where
you go to scald a hog. The

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razorback didn't mind the funny name.
Raw Head kept following Old Betty around her

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a little cabin and rooting up the
kitchen leftovers. He'd even walked to town

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00:11:39.519 --> 00:11:43.000
with her when she came to the
local mercantile to fell her home. Remedies

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well folks in town. Guy so
used to seeing Raw heading Old Betty around

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00:11:48.759 --> 00:11:52.639
town that it looked might a strange
One day, around hog driving time,

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00:11:52.639 --> 00:11:56.320
when Old Betty came to the mercantile
without him. Oh where's Raw? Had

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00:11:56.360 --> 00:12:01.919
the owner aft as she accepted her
basket full of home remedy potions. The

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00:12:01.039 --> 00:12:05.279
liquid in the bottle twished in an
agitated manner at Old Betty said, I

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00:12:05.360 --> 00:12:11.360
ain't seen him around today, and
I'm might away you seen him here in

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00:12:11.519 --> 00:12:16.039
town? Nobody seen him around today. They would have told me if they

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did. The mercantile owner said,
we'll keep a lookout for you. That's

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00:12:20.720 --> 00:12:26.519
mighty kind of you. If you
see him, tell it to come home

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00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:31.600
straight away, Old Betty said.
The mercantile owner nodded in agreement. If

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he handed over her weekly pay,
Old Betty fuss to herself all the way

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00:12:35.200 --> 00:12:39.639
home. It wasn't like Raw had
to disappear, especially not on the day

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00:12:39.639 --> 00:12:45.039
they went to town. The man
at the mercantile always saved the best scraps

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00:12:45.080 --> 00:12:48.559
for the mean old razor back,
and Raw had never missed a visit.

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00:12:48.120 --> 00:12:52.960
When the old conjuring woman got home, she mixed up a potion and poured

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it onto a flat plate. Where's
that old Hall got to she asked theod.

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00:13:00.639 --> 00:13:03.960
It clouded over, and then a
series of pictures formed. First Old

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00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:09.320
Betty saw that good for nothing hunter
that lived on the next ridge sneaking around

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00:13:09.320 --> 00:13:13.679
the forest a bit, rounding up
razor back hogs. What didn't belong to

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00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:18.080
him? They don't belong to you. One of the hogs was the raw

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00:13:18.200 --> 00:13:22.639
Head. Then she saw him taking
the hogs where well hogs called hollow,

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00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:30.120
where folks from the next town were
slaughtering their razorbacks. Then she saw her

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hog, raw Head Casey forgot his
name. Raw had slaughtered with the rest

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00:13:35.799 --> 00:13:39.840
of the pigs and hung up for
gutting. The final picture in the liquid

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00:13:39.919 --> 00:13:43.120
was the pile of bloody bones that
had once been her hog and his straight

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00:13:43.279 --> 00:13:48.720
clean headline with the other hogs heads
in a pile. Old Betty was infuriated

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00:13:48.720 --> 00:13:52.279
by the death of her only friend. There was a murder to her playing

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00:13:52.320 --> 00:13:56.279
and simple. Everyone in three counties
knew that raw had was her friend,

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00:13:56.519 --> 00:14:03.919
and that lazy hogs ste good for
nothing hunter on the ridge with gonna pay

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00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:07.720
for slaughtering him. Thought about putting
another name in there. Changed my mind

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too filthy. It implied what he
did with the hogs with his pain.

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00:14:13.879 --> 00:14:18.360
We all know, okay, we
know now. Old Betty tried to practice

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00:14:18.440 --> 00:14:22.720
white conjuring most of the time on
account of her Nathan racism, but she

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00:14:22.840 --> 00:14:28.279
knew the dark secrets too. She
pulled out an old secret buck her granny

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00:14:28.279 --> 00:14:31.960
had given her and turned to the
very last page, where it said guten

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00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:41.039
nobbing thanken zie a hitler. I
assume that it was mine camp That's not

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00:14:41.200 --> 00:14:48.919
what it did. She lit several
candles and put them around the plate containing

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00:14:48.039 --> 00:14:52.519
the liquid picture of raw head and
at the bloody bones. Then she began

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00:14:52.639 --> 00:14:58.399
to chant, heading, bloody bone, raw head, and bloody bone.

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The lat from the window disappeared as
if the sun had been snuffed out like

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00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:07.960
a candle. Dark clouds billet into
the clearing where Old Betty's cabin stood,

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00:15:09.120 --> 00:15:11.799
and the howl of dark spirits could
be heard in the wind. What pummeled

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00:15:11.799 --> 00:15:22.320
the tree tops, raw Head and
bloody bodes Rawhead blady that it continued to

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00:15:22.399 --> 00:15:30.519
chant in shortle and shake her giant
g owls until a bolt of silver lightning

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00:15:30.600 --> 00:15:33.840
left the plate and streaked out through
the window, heading in the direction of

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the hog scaled hollow. When the
silver light struck raw Head severed head,

201
00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:43.120
which was piled on the hunter's wagon
with the other hogheads. It tumbled to

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00:15:43.159 --> 00:15:48.039
the ground and rolled it to was
touching the bloody bones that had once inhabited

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its body. As the hunter's wagon
rumbled away towards the ridge where he lived,

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the enchanted raw Head called out.
Immediately, the bloody bones reassembled themselves

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into the skeleton of a razor back
hall, walking upright, as raw Head

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had often done when he was alone
with Old Betty. The head hopped on

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00:16:15.240 --> 00:16:18.480
top of the skeleton, and raw
Head went searching through the woods for weapons

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00:16:18.559 --> 00:16:23.200
to use against the hunter. He
borrowed the sharp teeth of a dying panther,

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which was convenient, the claws of
a long dead bear, which he'd

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been saving for a special occasion,
and the tail from a rotted raccoon that

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00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:36.960
you know ronestly who didn't have one
of those at that time, and put

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00:16:37.000 --> 00:16:41.519
them on his skinned head and bloody
bones. Then raw Head headed up the

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00:16:41.559 --> 00:16:45.200
track towards the ridge, looking for
the hunter what had flattered him. Raw

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had slipped past the thief on the
road and slid into the barn where the

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hunter kept his horse and wagon.
Well, old raw Head climbed up into

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the loft and waited for the hunter
to come home. It was dust when

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00:16:57.879 --> 00:17:03.000
the hunter drove into the barn and
unhitched his horse. The horse snorted in

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00:17:03.080 --> 00:17:07.759
fear, setting the presence of raw
Head in the loft probably also, wait

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00:17:07.799 --> 00:17:15.319
a minute, it's razorback that walks
on two legs with bare claws. It's

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00:17:15.400 --> 00:17:22.519
a man bear pig with panther pieces, with a sprinkle of panther pieces,

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and raccoon and giblet. Wondering what
was disturbing his usually calm horse, the

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00:17:29.240 --> 00:17:33.119
hunter looked around and saw a pair
of large eyes staring down at him from

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the darkness of the loft. The
hunter frowned, thinking it was one of

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00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:42.519
the local kids fooling around in his
barn. Wonder what have you got those

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00:17:42.640 --> 00:17:48.319
big us for, he snapped,
thinking the kids were trying to scare him

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00:17:48.319 --> 00:17:59.960
with some crazy mast. Raw Head
creaked weirdly. The hunter snorted, irritable

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00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:04.880
and put his horse into the stall. Very funny, oh, the hunter

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00:18:06.039 --> 00:18:10.039
said. Then he came out of
the stall, he saw raw Head had

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00:18:10.079 --> 00:18:15.440
crept forward a bit further now with
luminous yellow eye than its bare claws could

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00:18:15.480 --> 00:18:19.839
clearly be seen when degot, shit, what have you got those big claws

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00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:32.440
for? He snapped, you look
ridiculous? Raw Head in toned softly,

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00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:36.799
his voice said, squeaky nightmare.
That raised the hairs on the back of

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00:18:36.839 --> 00:18:41.359
the hunter's neck. He stirred uneasily, not sure how the crazy kid in

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00:18:41.400 --> 00:18:47.079
the loft could have made such a
scary found if it really was the crazy

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00:18:47.160 --> 00:18:51.839
kid, because child, the crazies
were a problem. Then, always feeling

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00:18:51.920 --> 00:18:53.960
a little folked, he hurried to
the door and let himself out of the

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00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:57.880
barn. Raw Head flipped out of
the loft and climbed down the side of

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the barn behind him a raw Heads
like a ninja with narya rustle to reveal

239
00:19:03.440 --> 00:19:07.200
to reveal its presence, raw Head
raced through the trees and up the path

240
00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:11.119
to a large moonlit rock. He
hid in the shadow of the huge stones

241
00:19:11.319 --> 00:19:15.799
that only things showing where the gleaming
yellow eyes, his bare claws, and

242
00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:21.240
his the raccoon tail. What did
he get from the panther again? Teeth?

243
00:19:21.759 --> 00:19:26.160
Sure, I think boars have pretty
sharp teeth too, got tusk.

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00:19:26.440 --> 00:19:29.839
Yeah, it's not bad. When
the hunter came level with the rock on

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00:19:29.880 --> 00:19:33.799
the side of the path. He
gave a startled yelp. Staring at raw

246
00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:37.799
Head, he gasped, you nearly
knocked the heart right onto me, you

247
00:19:37.960 --> 00:19:42.599
crazy kid, lund of Gooshen.
What have you got that crazy tail for?

248
00:19:45.079 --> 00:19:52.319
To sweet yall gray, raw Head
boomed his enchanted, squeaky, clinky,

249
00:19:52.519 --> 00:19:56.319
creaky voice, echoing through the woods, getting louder and louder with each

250
00:19:56.359 --> 00:20:00.400
echo. The hunter took to his
heels and and for this cabin. He

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00:20:00.599 --> 00:20:06.400
raced past the old well house,
past the woodpile, over the rotten fence

252
00:20:06.720 --> 00:20:10.960
next to the piggy dog, around
back of the seven to eleven, well

253
00:20:11.079 --> 00:20:15.039
clear of all about foods, and
into his yard. But raw Head was

254
00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:19.839
faster. When the hunter reached his
porch, raw Head leaped from the shadows

255
00:20:19.880 --> 00:20:23.960
and loomed above him. The hunter
stared in terror up at raw Head's gleaming

256
00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:30.160
yellow eyes and the ugly razor back
hog's head, his bloody bones skeleton with

257
00:20:30.240 --> 00:20:34.440
its long bare claws, sweeping raccoon's
tail, and his gleaming sharp pant their

258
00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:38.640
teeth it with teeth. You were
right warn to Goshen, what have you

259
00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:45.119
got those big teeth, for he
gasped desperately and ignorantly, stumbling backwards from

260
00:20:45.119 --> 00:20:53.519
the terrible figure before him. You
are like you wanted to, raw Head

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00:20:53.960 --> 00:20:59.559
understatedly roared, descending upon the good
for nothing hunter. Well he's good for

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00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:04.079
hunter. The murdering thief gave one
long scream in the moonlight. Then there,

263
00:21:04.079 --> 00:21:11.599
with violence and the sound of crunching. Nothing more with ever heard of

264
00:21:11.640 --> 00:21:15.960
the lady hunter who lived on the
ridge. His horse also disappeared that night.

265
00:21:15.240 --> 00:21:19.440
But sometimes folks with the raw Head
roaming through the forest in the company

266
00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:23.440
of his friend Old Betty, And
once a month, on the night of

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00:21:23.480 --> 00:21:27.960
the full moon, raw Head would
ride the hunter's horse through town, where

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00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:33.119
in the old man's blew overalls,
over his bloody bones, with a hole

269
00:21:33.200 --> 00:21:37.400
cut out for his raccoon tail.
In his bloody bear clawed hands, he

270
00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:41.839
carried his raw raised their back,
hoghead, lifting it high against the full

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00:21:41.839 --> 00:21:49.720
moon. Forever very one to thieve. Yeah, so there you go.

272
00:21:51.039 --> 00:21:55.599
That's old bloody bone. That's old
raw head and bloody bones. It's kind

273
00:21:55.640 --> 00:22:00.000
of like a headless horseman. But
man bear pig version, how terrible.

274
00:22:02.759 --> 00:22:04.440
That's a rough one. You know, something we've never done. Is Some

275
00:22:04.519 --> 00:22:11.000
of these stories have comments oh yeah, and it was it was okay,

276
00:22:11.079 --> 00:22:15.039
but no great, yeah, watch
out. Oh that's like a war stage

277
00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:18.160
advice. Yeah, so there you
go. There's there's a ghost story.

278
00:22:18.279 --> 00:22:23.079
Wow, I think you can sleep
to my I've already pissed my pants already.

279
00:22:23.119 --> 00:22:26.400
Wisdom of doctors. All right,
David, I'm gonna give you a

280
00:22:26.519 --> 00:22:30.480
choice. You can pick the next
one, but it's like like picking the

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00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:34.839
switch that I'll be. Here are
your choices. Number one, hungry Hut,

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00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:41.319
you have a hard time beating that. Number two, running for your

283
00:22:41.359 --> 00:22:45.839
life. Number three, the backpacking
journey, you're not even coming close.

284
00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:52.200
Number four the witch cat. You're
getting closer. But hungry Hut, Hungry

285
00:22:52.279 --> 00:23:03.000
Hut, all right, Hungry Hut, as picked by mister d Stecco.

286
00:23:04.720 --> 00:23:18.240
Hungry Hut. One day, I
took my fishing rod went out into the

287
00:23:18.279 --> 00:23:22.440
woods. Must have walked for miles
until I came to a part of the

288
00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:26.079
river that looked like a good spot
for fishing. However, the fish just

289
00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:30.319
weren't biting, and try as I
might, I couldn't catch a thing.

290
00:23:32.519 --> 00:23:34.480
It was evening and the light was
fading, so I decided to go home.

291
00:23:36.039 --> 00:23:41.359
However, in the twilight, I
got disoriented and became lost in the

292
00:23:41.400 --> 00:23:47.359
woods. I wandered around in circles
for almost a damn hour. Jesus,

293
00:23:47.839 --> 00:23:51.079
the light was fading and night was
falling fast. Just as I was about

294
00:23:51.079 --> 00:23:53.640
to give up hope, I came
across a small cabin half hidden in the

295
00:23:53.680 --> 00:23:59.279
bushes. Was old and dilapidated,
but I could see a light in the

296
00:23:59.319 --> 00:24:03.119
window. When I got closer,
I saw that there was a man and

297
00:24:03.160 --> 00:24:07.599
a woman outside. The woman was
dressed in a shawl and the man was

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00:24:07.640 --> 00:24:12.759
wearing pants but no shirt. As
I approached, they both froze and stared

299
00:24:12.799 --> 00:24:18.880
at me suspiciously. Who are you
What do you want? The man asked

300
00:24:18.960 --> 00:24:22.680
gruffly. I'm lost, I said. I came out here to do some

301
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:27.640
fishing, but somehow I got disoriented
and now I can't find my way home.

302
00:24:29.240 --> 00:24:34.960
Do you have a phone? A
phone? The man chuckled. We

303
00:24:36.039 --> 00:24:40.359
ain't got no phone out here,
but you're welcome to stay the night with

304
00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:44.680
us, and in the morning i'll
draw you a map so you can get

305
00:24:44.799 --> 00:24:51.240
home. I thanked him, and
he brought me into the house. We

306
00:24:51.319 --> 00:24:53.960
sat down at a table and his
wife filled a bowl of soup and handed

307
00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:56.799
it to me. It was a
little more than boiled water with a few

308
00:24:56.960 --> 00:25:03.759
vegetables thrown in, but I ate
it grateful hadn't caught any damn bish unlucky.

309
00:25:03.519 --> 00:25:07.799
After dinner, they told me I
looked tired and said it was time

310
00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:10.759
to go to bed. They brought
me to a room, and since there

311
00:25:10.839 --> 00:25:14.559
was no bed, I had to
lay on the floor. I felt drowsy

312
00:25:14.599 --> 00:25:18.279
and could barely keep my eyes open. Just as I was about to drift

313
00:25:18.319 --> 00:25:22.839
off to sleep, I heard hushed
voices outside my door. The man and

314
00:25:22.839 --> 00:25:26.200
the woman were whispering to each other. Quiet, you'll scare him away.

315
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:33.000
The woman whispered, we haven't had
any meat for a month. Woofies tonight.

316
00:25:33.519 --> 00:25:37.279
The man whispered, back, hand
me the damn act. You don't

317
00:25:37.319 --> 00:25:40.559
have to swear, you know.
As soon as I heard those words,

318
00:25:41.000 --> 00:25:45.279
my heart sank into my stomach,
and my hair stood on end. My

319
00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:49.160
meat started to tremble. I quietly
got up and opened the window. I

320
00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:53.960
climbed out quick as a flash and
ran like mad and other similes. I

321
00:25:55.079 --> 00:26:00.400
ran faster than I had ever run
before, like a gazelle, ran like

322
00:26:00.440 --> 00:26:04.680
a gazelle, shot out of a
gun right into another simile. I ran

323
00:26:04.759 --> 00:26:08.559
through the darkness, not knowing which
direction I was going. It was pitch

324
00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:12.599
black and the branches of the tree
whipped against my face. I ran and

325
00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:17.640
ran until it started to get light, and eventually it came to a road.

326
00:26:18.880 --> 00:26:22.839
I waited there for almost two damn
hours until a car came along,

327
00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:26.960
and then I stuck out my thumb. I stuck it out so hard and

328
00:26:27.119 --> 00:26:33.759
luckily the car stopped for me,
and the driver gave me a ride back

329
00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:38.079
to my village. My village,
that's right, I live in a village.

330
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:42.880
Yeah. I bet you were thinking
that the shirtless man was going to

331
00:26:42.920 --> 00:26:47.240
be driving the car. Well he
wasn't, wasn't. It's okay. As

332
00:26:47.240 --> 00:26:49.599
soon as I got home, I
told my story to everyone who would listen.

333
00:26:51.119 --> 00:26:52.440
Some of the people in the village
wanted to go to the police,

334
00:26:52.920 --> 00:26:57.640
probably a constable if we're in a
village, right right, But the older

335
00:26:57.640 --> 00:27:04.799
people just ma and said do no
good. M actually says wood. It

336
00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:11.000
would Wood. Well, it's a
regional dialect like steam dams. An old

337
00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:15.039
man who'd lived in the village all
his life told me something that shocked me

338
00:27:15.079 --> 00:27:19.400
to the very core. He said, that many years ago, when he

339
00:27:19.480 --> 00:27:23.319
was just a child, a lot
of people disappeared what They went into the

340
00:27:23.359 --> 00:27:27.680
forest and never came back. Many
of them were children, and nobody knew

341
00:27:27.720 --> 00:27:32.960
what happened to them. Nobody seemed
to give us. One day, men

342
00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:36.160
in the village organized a search party, and they went into the woods to

343
00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:38.720
see if they could find any trace
of the missing people. They searched for

344
00:27:40.039 --> 00:27:44.519
days, but they found nothing but
kiss This is a goose, saying,

345
00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:49.240
village full of inept atolls, right. They can't catch fish, can't find

346
00:27:49.440 --> 00:27:53.400
kids kids in the woods. Just
as it seemed all their efforts would be

347
00:27:53.400 --> 00:27:59.200
in vain, they came across a
small hut hidden in the bushes. There

348
00:27:59.279 --> 00:28:03.400
was a man and a woman living
inside, and they were acting suspiciously.

349
00:28:03.119 --> 00:28:08.599
There was also a terrible overpowering stinch
coming from the hut. The villagers found

350
00:28:08.640 --> 00:28:12.559
a trap door in the floor of
the hut that sounds familiar. There was

351
00:28:12.559 --> 00:28:17.079
a padlock on it. The man
and woman said it would led down into

352
00:28:17.079 --> 00:28:21.480
a cellar, but they refused to
open it. Eventually, the villagers broke

353
00:28:21.519 --> 00:28:23.759
off the lock and opened the trap
door. When they peered down into the

354
00:28:23.839 --> 00:28:30.200
darkness, their eyes were greeted by
a terrible sight. Hello, Richard Simmons

355
00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:34.440
was down there sweating to the old, to the grandam. Old was just

356
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:41.640
greeting your eyes. There were piles
of human bodies stacked up like butchered meat,

357
00:28:41.680 --> 00:28:45.960
and among them lay a little boy. His hands were bound and his

358
00:28:47.079 --> 00:28:51.960
mouth was gagged, and he was
crying. The disgusted villagers rescued the young

359
00:28:52.039 --> 00:28:55.519
boy. Then they took the man
and woman over to a tall tree and

360
00:28:55.720 --> 00:29:02.119
hanged them on the spot. What
that's the the story, bros? Whoa

361
00:29:02.920 --> 00:29:07.200
there ends? Or does it?
It does? Does? Okay? That

362
00:29:07.319 --> 00:29:15.559
happened? Is it? Yeah?
Hungry hud, Yeah, hungry Huad.

363
00:29:15.559 --> 00:29:22.759
That's like the two benders re re
reaps. So the guy found ghosts,

364
00:29:22.359 --> 00:29:25.839
that's what the deal was. That
we're going to kill him. Right.

365
00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:29.160
There's there's a little little crossing the
streams in that way, a little a

366
00:29:29.160 --> 00:29:32.680
little hole in that one that maybe
you could ride a horse cart through and

367
00:29:32.799 --> 00:29:36.599
your way to the village. Hungry
Head. That's the name of the restaurant

368
00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:38.839
I was gonna open. Yeah,
why don't you best meat pies in London?

369
00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:44.039
It's priest. Listen, try a
little priest, listen, man I

370
00:29:44.160 --> 00:29:45.839
get it. Is it any good? I get it. It's too good.

371
00:29:47.160 --> 00:29:49.039
At least there's a lot of meat. I'm a person, I get

372
00:29:49.079 --> 00:29:52.799
it. I get it. You
see that guy you haven't eaten, just

373
00:29:52.880 --> 00:29:57.960
saying I get it. Dave Steccho, sociopath, Comma Cannibal, Comma podcaster,

374
00:29:59.240 --> 00:30:00.720
Yeah, Comma podcast. All right, okay, I got one here

375
00:30:00.759 --> 00:30:06.519
for you, all right. This
one's about gentlemanly agreements, and it's called

376
00:30:07.119 --> 00:30:21.519
the hen She Polly was the sweetest, prettiest girl in Goldsborough, Yes sir,

377
00:30:22.079 --> 00:30:25.440
was it even? Says he?
Yes, sir, yes sir.

378
00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:30.039
All the local boys were chasing her, and quite a number of the fellows

379
00:30:30.039 --> 00:30:33.640
from the surrounding countryside were two.
All the girls were jealous of Polly because

380
00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:37.680
they didn't have no sweethearts to take
them to the local dancers poor teach them

381
00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:45.279
grabb They all wanted Polly to choose
her man so things could go back to

382
00:30:45.440 --> 00:30:49.400
normal, cried out loud, But
Polly was picky. None of the local

383
00:30:49.480 --> 00:30:53.519
boys suited her, and neither did
the fellows from the back country. Then

384
00:30:53.599 --> 00:30:59.839
one day, good old George Dean
came home from university and Polly was smitt

385
00:31:00.279 --> 00:31:04.680
What an egghead it Polly was hot. Polly completely dropped all her other bows

386
00:31:04.759 --> 00:31:10.359
when George came courting, and her
pants NOI. And it wasn't long before

387
00:31:10.440 --> 00:31:15.680
George proposed and Polly accepted why.
Polly started making preparations for the wedding and

388
00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:18.799
shopping for items to fill in her
new home. George wasn't too interested in

389
00:31:18.839 --> 00:31:25.160
all the fripperies and wedding details.
He left the women folk to get on

390
00:31:25.240 --> 00:31:29.200
with it and started spending time down
at the pool hall talking about his niece

391
00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:33.000
and sexes. Oh, with some
of his buddies. Oooh, well that

392
00:31:33.119 --> 00:31:37.400
starts with pee, which rimps with
tea that stands for trouble. Oh,

393
00:31:37.559 --> 00:31:41.880
right here in ghost Story Town,
right here in Shiver City. Nice nailed

394
00:31:41.880 --> 00:31:47.440
it. That's where he met Helen, the owner's saucy daughter. Oh did.

395
00:31:47.480 --> 00:31:51.559
She had bold black eyes and ruby
red lips and a bad girl air

396
00:31:51.599 --> 00:31:55.839
that fascinated George. He spend more
and more time at the pool hall and

397
00:31:56.039 --> 00:31:59.640
less and less time with old Polly, who finally noticed, in spite of

398
00:31:59.680 --> 00:32:05.720
all the hustle and bustle and spending
of his money, sexism. Polly,

399
00:32:05.759 --> 00:32:08.880
of course, was furies. She
immediately confronted George with the story, and

400
00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:14.079
he couldn't deny it. Suddenly George
had to tow the mark. See that

401
00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:17.079
mark there, George, So it
don't want you again, right, snuggle

402
00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:22.079
right up against it there. His
pool hall visits were over and he spent

403
00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:25.400
every free hour he wasn't at work
by her side. La didn't sit well

404
00:32:25.400 --> 00:32:30.480
with George and his family backed Polly
up, so he went along with it.

405
00:32:30.759 --> 00:32:35.000
Oh, not even married yet,
but the resentment is strong. Let's

406
00:32:35.039 --> 00:32:37.079
see how it plays out. Yeah, it's a bold move. Cud.

407
00:32:37.240 --> 00:32:42.200
Yeah. The day of the wedding
dawned clear and bright. The guests filled

408
00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:45.720
the sanctuary, and the pastor and
the best man waited patiently in the ante

409
00:32:45.799 --> 00:32:51.079
chamber for the arrival of the groom, but George didn't come. Eventually,

410
00:32:51.079 --> 00:32:54.319
they went searching for the missing bridegroom
and found out he'd left town with Helen

411
00:32:54.359 --> 00:33:00.880
an hour before the wedding. With
dread, Polly's mother went to tell her

412
00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:04.680
daughter what had happened. Polly,
all bright and shining and lovely in her

413
00:33:04.720 --> 00:33:07.640
long white dress, soft wedding veil, turned pale when her mother broke the

414
00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:13.200
news. Then she stiffened, grabbing
her left arm as a sudden pain rip

415
00:33:13.279 --> 00:33:16.319
through it. She was dead from
a massive heart attack long before she hit

416
00:33:16.400 --> 00:33:22.319
the floor. Golly see, Polly
was fat. She had been eating a

417
00:33:22.440 --> 00:33:27.440
whole cake at the time. A
few days later, Polly was buried in

418
00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:30.640
the churchyard, still wearing her white
wedding dress and veil because the store wouldn't

419
00:33:30.680 --> 00:33:36.359
take it back. You know what
was the battle evacuation? And all the

420
00:33:36.440 --> 00:33:38.680
whole town came to the funeral and
wept at the passing of such a beautiful

421
00:33:38.720 --> 00:33:45.599
young girl. All the guys had
the saddest boners in town. George and

422
00:33:45.680 --> 00:33:49.960
Helen had had spent the week happily
honeymooning in the Outer Banks, arrived home

423
00:33:49.960 --> 00:33:54.119
at the very moment that the Outer
Banks. That's right, America's destination spot

424
00:33:54.640 --> 00:33:59.880
arrived home at the very moment the
black clad crowd exited the churchyard. Wait,

425
00:34:00.079 --> 00:34:05.279
wait what the black glad crowd clad
crowd all wearing black clothes because it

426
00:34:05.319 --> 00:34:07.719
was a funeral, But it was
a black grad cloud. Nice, it

427
00:34:07.760 --> 00:34:13.119
has just gotten out of school.
Could have been okay, black grad cloud,

428
00:34:13.119 --> 00:34:15.800
get it all out. That's right. Could have been a black lad

429
00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:22.360
crowd. Could could have been a
black hawk down. No, that's just

430
00:34:22.480 --> 00:34:28.440
silly running. The minister had to
pull Polly's father off George before he killed

431
00:34:28.519 --> 00:34:30.840
him, and both George and Helen's
family disowned the couple right there in the

432
00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:35.960
streets, in front of everyone,
which was legally binding at that time.

433
00:34:36.679 --> 00:34:40.920
It was in front of everyone.
The couple fled down in disgrace. Well,

434
00:34:40.960 --> 00:34:45.480
as it does, time passed,
and eventually the scandal was forgotten.

435
00:34:45.480 --> 00:34:51.079
What past time totally said? Time? I did not say pime? I

436
00:34:51.119 --> 00:34:54.840
heard pime passed? Well, you'd
rucked home, you're right. Not a

437
00:34:54.880 --> 00:35:00.840
word of it a line. Until
the day George's father passed away, it

438
00:35:00.880 --> 00:35:02.639
was rumored that he was to be
buried in the local churchyard, just a

439
00:35:02.639 --> 00:35:07.639
few plots away from the girl who
had almost become his daughter. Suddenly,

440
00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:10.719
the story of Polly's jolting was revived, and the folks wondered aloud if George

441
00:35:10.719 --> 00:35:15.880
would dare attend his own father's funeral
spoilers. Of course he would, it's

442
00:35:15.880 --> 00:35:19.119
his father. You're an idiots,
what's wrong with you? But George was

443
00:35:19.159 --> 00:35:23.320
too clever for them. He tunneled
under the funeral and what greeted the casket

444
00:35:23.320 --> 00:35:29.760
as it was lowered into the ground
and made them put okay. At this

445
00:35:29.840 --> 00:35:34.000
point, I don't know why to
believe, but George was too clever for

446
00:35:34.039 --> 00:35:37.400
them. He waited at an inn
outside of town until it was dark,

447
00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:39.719
and then he went to the churchyard
to pay his last respects to his father.

448
00:35:40.199 --> 00:35:45.880
As he unburdened himself at his father's
grave side, that doesn't sound right,

449
00:35:45.960 --> 00:35:50.760
George took a sweet George heard a
sweet female voice calling his name.

450
00:35:53.719 --> 00:35:58.360
George looked up in sudden hope.
Was that his mother come to forgive him?

451
00:36:00.119 --> 00:36:05.760
See? Then he saw, rising
from the grassy mound under a spreading

452
00:36:05.800 --> 00:36:07.840
oak tree, a figure and a
long white gown and a soft veil.

453
00:36:09.800 --> 00:36:14.599
Her rise and lips were yellow flames
beneath the veil, and the rotted wedding

454
00:36:14.639 --> 00:36:17.920
dress glowed with the white up with
a white yellow light. It was roly

455
00:36:19.119 --> 00:36:24.239
poly poly. George's body stiffened because
he remembered old Polly, Oh yeah,

456
00:36:24.239 --> 00:36:29.719
gross. George's body stiffened, shudders, a fear coursing up and down his

457
00:36:29.800 --> 00:36:32.400
arms and legs. He put a
shaking hand to his mouth and staggered backward,

458
00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:37.039
the other hand outstretched toward off the
specter floating towards him. The Spectral

459
00:36:37.119 --> 00:36:43.599
Bride cackled with angry laughter and swooped
forward until his hand closed over George's outstretched

460
00:36:43.639 --> 00:36:57.800
one, in a terrible parody of
a hadn't shape please me? The grip

461
00:36:57.840 --> 00:37:00.480
of the Spectral Bride was so cold
at birth the skin, and so hard

462
00:37:00.519 --> 00:37:08.400
that the bones crunched as it squeezed
George. The glowing Bride whispered through the

463
00:37:08.480 --> 00:37:14.119
veil. George could see maggots crawling
in and out of Polly's flaming eye sockets.

464
00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:17.480
No George gave a final cry of
despair and wrenched at his hand again,

465
00:37:17.719 --> 00:37:22.800
and suddenly he was free. The
Spectral Bride gave a roar of rage

466
00:37:22.840 --> 00:37:25.639
as George ran pale bell down the
church lane and out into the street.

467
00:37:27.239 --> 00:37:30.000
Hellmell is a serpentine. It's the
kind of thing Ricken should have pulled,

468
00:37:30.039 --> 00:37:36.239
The stupid, stupid Ricken the start, No one ever cared about Ricking.

469
00:37:36.360 --> 00:37:43.159
In the old language, it means
target breakfast. You're my George, dean

470
00:37:43.360 --> 00:37:49.559
this world. The Spectral Bride howled
after him. By the time George reached

471
00:37:49.599 --> 00:37:52.639
his room, the fiery pain in
his hand and arm was seeping through his

472
00:37:52.880 --> 00:37:57.159
entire body. He rang desperately for
the housemaid and begged her to send for

473
00:37:57.199 --> 00:38:00.800
a doctor. Then he fell into
bed and stared his hand, which was

474
00:38:00.960 --> 00:38:04.760
black and withered, as if it
had been scorched long ago by a fire.

475
00:38:05.360 --> 00:38:07.480
Black and red streaks were climbing up
his arm so fast he could almost

476
00:38:07.480 --> 00:38:12.599
see them move. George was unconscious
when the doctor arrived, and the swelling

477
00:38:12.679 --> 00:38:15.679
was already extending into his chest and
neck. There was nothing the physician could

478
00:38:15.719 --> 00:38:20.119
do. The injury was too severe, it had spread too far. Within

479
00:38:20.159 --> 00:38:24.079
two days, George was dead.
Polly had gotten her man at last.

480
00:38:29.079 --> 00:38:37.679
The Handshake probably not the best title. Maybe maybe the Pretty Polly's pen mell

481
00:38:38.039 --> 00:38:47.840
futuralistic pocketing of power, move power, hands broken hot and bedding dress shot

482
00:38:47.920 --> 00:38:53.159
it. There you go, there's
a scary tale. Well it's a tail

483
00:38:53.719 --> 00:38:59.119
two floor we got, all right, I've got some folklore from Virginia.

484
00:38:59.519 --> 00:39:02.920
Oh well, then I look forward
to your Virginia slam accent. This is

485
00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:07.440
called it's the accent of a person
who smoked Virginia slims their whole life.

486
00:39:07.920 --> 00:39:14.480
Honey, Hobby fifty reads the witch
Cat. Oh it's the witch cat?

487
00:39:21.599 --> 00:39:25.880
What windey day? Back in eighteen
fifty, a handsome young man whose wife

488
00:39:25.880 --> 00:39:31.639
had died the year before, arrived
in a small Virginia town called poon Holler,

489
00:39:32.119 --> 00:39:39.199
No it wasn't. It was called
Coots Crossed. He brought with him

490
00:39:39.199 --> 00:39:45.679
his young daughter a wagon full of
household goods and tools and enough money to

491
00:39:45.719 --> 00:39:50.440
buy a small plot of land.
And Bonarette Mule, the town's focal kind,

492
00:39:50.480 --> 00:39:52.880
and showed him several apostles of land
that would for sale. I love

493
00:39:52.920 --> 00:39:58.920
this voice. It's like white billy
d Yeah, I've got like planets and

494
00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:01.360
moons. I love no, no, no, no, I liked this

495
00:40:01.519 --> 00:40:06.679
voice. I couldn't. This is
a nuance I couldn't hit. Before he

496
00:40:06.800 --> 00:40:09.719
decided, he went walking through the
back country and found a nice piece of

497
00:40:09.840 --> 00:40:14.920
land beside a wide steel pond.
When he asked about it, people said

498
00:40:14.920 --> 00:40:17.719
it wasn't own by anybody. I
had once belonged to a family that had

499
00:40:17.760 --> 00:40:22.719
left those parts after a string of
misfortunes. Nobody said much, though they

500
00:40:22.760 --> 00:40:27.119
tried their best to get him to
change his mind. Red Flag, but

501
00:40:27.239 --> 00:40:30.039
nothing would do except for that land
for his farm. People in the neighborhood

502
00:40:30.039 --> 00:40:34.599
helped him get started. They had
a house raising to build him a cabin

503
00:40:34.679 --> 00:40:37.880
and a barn raising to following read
what was the barn raising? To help

504
00:40:37.920 --> 00:40:43.679
him build self esteem before team build
a character. At that point, with

505
00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:46.000
the last of his money, he
bought a horse, a cow, several

506
00:40:46.079 --> 00:40:50.800
chickens. He worked hard clearing the
land, getting the field dready for planting.

507
00:40:51.360 --> 00:40:53.599
His daughter milked a cow, fed
the chickens, and they seemed happy

508
00:40:53.679 --> 00:40:58.159
enough. Though the towns folk told
one another that such a fine man should

509
00:40:58.159 --> 00:41:01.920
get married pretty quick of himself a
sort of companionship a man needs, if

510
00:41:01.960 --> 00:41:06.440
you know what I'm saying, and
give his little girl a mother, if

511
00:41:06.480 --> 00:41:09.320
you know what I'm saying, I
was hoping for it. Sometimes, when

512
00:41:09.360 --> 00:41:13.519
his day's work was done, Armor
would fish for a while, and the

513
00:41:13.559 --> 00:41:16.639
banks of that pond, staring dreamily
out across the waters that turned gold and

514
00:41:16.840 --> 00:41:22.280
red and purple as the sun said, dream of the time he could have

515
00:41:22.039 --> 00:41:25.840
with a nice young woman for companionship, if you know what I mean.

516
00:41:27.840 --> 00:41:30.639
One evening, at twilight, he
saw a small skiff coming across the water

517
00:41:31.199 --> 00:41:36.760
hold by a tall, slender figure. The glare of the fading sun made

518
00:41:36.760 --> 00:41:39.039
it impossible for him to see whether
it was a man or a woman once

519
00:41:39.519 --> 00:41:45.360
on the railwa who knows what that
day, somebody's on that skiff. But

520
00:41:45.480 --> 00:41:49.599
when the boat was near shore,
he saw the stranger wearing a bonnet.

521
00:41:49.840 --> 00:41:52.599
He was sniffing, which she was
skiffing. A moment later, as the

522
00:41:52.719 --> 00:42:00.239
skiff landed smoothly, a young woman's
voice called out, oh hello, helped

523
00:42:00.239 --> 00:42:05.360
me up, will you. She
extended a delicate hand, pale and fine

524
00:42:05.400 --> 00:42:09.480
as bone china to it like a
man in a dream. A farmer reached

525
00:42:09.519 --> 00:42:13.440
out and took it, helping her
out of that boat and under the shore.

526
00:42:14.159 --> 00:42:16.920
A woman pulled off her bonnet,
shook her curly black hair free.

527
00:42:19.360 --> 00:42:27.760
That feels multi lacking, she said, All that rowing can really wear body

528
00:42:27.960 --> 00:42:32.679
out. For a moment, he
didn't answer her. She hadn't asked a

529
00:42:32.760 --> 00:42:37.559
question, so he didn't have to, so he took advantage, you see,

530
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:42.719
but he was fascinated by her wide
green eyes, pale skin. Once

531
00:42:42.760 --> 00:42:45.079
again, bringing that pale skin up, ladies, you don't have to be

532
00:42:45.159 --> 00:42:49.400
worried about having ten skin. Pale
skins just fine, just fine, and

533
00:42:49.559 --> 00:42:52.679
lips as dainty and red as a
rosebud. Why she kind of looked like

534
00:42:52.840 --> 00:42:57.960
delta Berg. But y'all wouldn't know
about that, seeing as how this is

535
00:42:58.000 --> 00:43:02.480
eighteen fifty. Unless she's a vampire, the legends are true. At last,

536
00:43:02.559 --> 00:43:06.960
he remembered his manners, removed his
hat, and said, Tom Morgan,

537
00:43:07.119 --> 00:43:14.440
at your service, ma'am. Are
you lost not a bit? She

538
00:43:14.559 --> 00:43:19.719
said, with a laugh that he
wished she hadn't. My name is Eleanor

539
00:43:19.960 --> 00:43:28.639
Faye. I live over across the
pond. She gestured toward that far side

540
00:43:28.679 --> 00:43:34.039
where the willows and cypresses were tangled
together. I think it was time I

541
00:43:34.239 --> 00:43:39.679
called on my new neighbor. Still
in a daze, Tom invited her up

542
00:43:39.719 --> 00:43:45.639
to see his cabin and barn and
meet his daughter. Effi. Eleanor ood

543
00:43:45.840 --> 00:43:53.599
and odd as he pointed out the
new house and barn and the chicken coop

544
00:43:53.679 --> 00:43:59.960
with its coat of fresh paint.
Oh. When she reached out a hand

545
00:44:00.039 --> 00:44:05.840
to stroke off his hair, a
child clinging to her father's trouser leg began

546
00:44:05.880 --> 00:44:09.719
to cry and wouldn't let the woman
touch her. Let me touch your child.

547
00:44:10.480 --> 00:44:17.440
Who the shy little thing isn't ship, said Eleanor with a polite laugh

548
00:44:17.559 --> 00:44:25.360
that showed her white teeth. Tom
horrified at that laugh once again, but

549
00:44:25.480 --> 00:44:30.400
feeling badly, tried to get his
daughter to apologize, but she ran away

550
00:44:30.519 --> 00:44:36.880
suddenly. Well I'm sorry about that, said Tom. She's not usually shy

551
00:44:37.000 --> 00:44:42.960
with strangers. Oh no, mallow, Eleanor. Easily, we'll become good

552
00:44:43.119 --> 00:44:49.280
friends. Before long, it was
now nearly dark. I have to be

553
00:44:49.559 --> 00:44:54.400
gone, the woman said. Next
time, I won't come by so late.

554
00:44:57.760 --> 00:45:00.320
Tom walked her down to the shore, offer to row her back across

555
00:45:00.360 --> 00:45:05.719
the pond, but she said no, thank you. I've been a whittle

556
00:45:05.840 --> 00:45:10.840
for five years and I'm doing fine
for myself. Oh man, it's just

557
00:45:12.280 --> 00:45:16.360
fine. It seemed that a pole
barely touched the water before the skiffs slid

558
00:45:16.519 --> 00:45:22.199
quickly and silently towards the shadowed far
shore. Tom stood staring for a long

559
00:45:22.239 --> 00:45:25.519
time. Still it could no longer
see Eleanor or her boat, and the

560
00:45:25.599 --> 00:45:32.559
gathering dark. After that, Eleanor
came almost every day to visit. If

561
00:45:32.199 --> 00:45:37.199
you know what I'm saying, yeah, Once she brought a jar of homemade

562
00:45:37.239 --> 00:45:40.599
preserves. Another time it was a
lace table claw. Why. She was

563
00:45:40.679 --> 00:45:45.679
just full of gifts for him,
mainly just those two things. Tom was

564
00:45:45.800 --> 00:45:50.199
enchanted. But if a hid,
if she could get away, if her

565
00:45:50.199 --> 00:45:53.920
father forced us stay inside. When
Eleanor visited, she sulked in a corner,

566
00:45:54.000 --> 00:45:59.400
staying as far away from the smiling
woman as possible. Eleanor would blink,

567
00:45:59.400 --> 00:46:02.960
her green eyes would seemed flecked with
gold, as if she were holding

568
00:46:04.079 --> 00:46:09.360
back tears, a gold golden tears. But she always made a show of

569
00:46:09.400 --> 00:46:15.280
excusing the child's actions. When if
his father asked her why she acted the

570
00:46:15.320 --> 00:46:19.360
way she did, I it said, I don't know. I just don't

571
00:46:19.440 --> 00:46:23.280
like a papa. This bothered Tom
a good deal because he had fallen under

572
00:46:23.320 --> 00:46:28.079
the spell of the young woman and
was trying to work up nerve enough to

573
00:46:28.119 --> 00:46:32.159
ask her to marry him after a
few days. Once you exchanged preserves and

574
00:46:32.280 --> 00:46:37.960
a tablecloth, Now you're just being
an idiot. He never went across the

575
00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:42.159
pond to her farm. She said
she preferred to visit him and get away

576
00:46:42.159 --> 00:46:46.679
from her choice, and anything she
said made sense to him, if you

577
00:46:46.760 --> 00:46:51.480
know what I mean. In addition
to f it being difficult, Tom was

578
00:46:51.519 --> 00:46:54.519
troubled by something getting at his chickens. Night after night, he would be

579
00:46:54.599 --> 00:47:00.400
aroused by a blood curdling cat screen
you know what I mean, followed by

580
00:47:00.400 --> 00:47:05.360
a fluttering and squawking from the chicken
coope. Each time he ran out to

581
00:47:05.360 --> 00:47:07.760
see what the matter was, he'd
found one or two of his chickens missing

582
00:47:07.920 --> 00:47:14.599
and the feathers scattered all around.
He probably had a thousand chickens to go

583
00:47:14.760 --> 00:47:19.519
through because it just kept happening night
after night. If it had bad dreams

584
00:47:19.519 --> 00:47:22.199
of a huge cat with blazing yellow
green eyes that climbed through the window of

585
00:47:22.239 --> 00:47:27.119
her room and curled up at the
foot of her bed waiting for her to

586
00:47:27.159 --> 00:47:30.800
go to sleep so that it could
suck the breath of life from her when

587
00:47:30.880 --> 00:47:36.320
she did, it's a weird assumption. One morning, Tom found a barely

588
00:47:36.360 --> 00:47:39.239
breathing and there was a round spot
in the bedclothes at the foot of a

589
00:47:39.320 --> 00:47:45.039
bed, as if something a cat
baby had curled up to sleep there.

590
00:47:45.599 --> 00:47:49.519
When Tom went into town to pick
up supplies, the townsfolk took him aside

591
00:47:49.559 --> 00:47:53.280
and whispered to him that Eleanoris was
a witch had lived beside the pond because

592
00:47:53.320 --> 00:47:59.239
it was enchanted, having been sacred
to the Indians who had lived there long

593
00:47:59.280 --> 00:48:02.519
before the white men had a rise. Thank you so much for this timely

594
00:48:02.599 --> 00:48:07.440
information. What after you helped me
move in and did not tell me when

595
00:48:07.480 --> 00:48:13.320
I could have simply purchased a plot
of land elsewhere. They also said she'd

596
00:48:13.360 --> 00:48:16.920
done away with her husband by black
magic, though no one was clear how

597
00:48:16.960 --> 00:48:22.039
this had been accomplished. The young
farmer refused to believe them. You're just

598
00:48:22.159 --> 00:48:28.679
jealous of my good fortune, he
said, Oh, that was the end

599
00:48:28.679 --> 00:48:31.880
of that thought. Folks in town
shrugged and went their own way. They

600
00:48:32.000 --> 00:48:36.679
knew what the new. His daughter
got more sickly, and Tom began to

601
00:48:36.719 --> 00:48:42.599
fear for her life. Desperate,
he went to the neighborhood conjo man named

602
00:48:42.719 --> 00:48:45.920
Zeke Franklin. The old man was
a white witch who helped people, especially

603
00:48:46.039 --> 00:48:52.920
those troubled by black magic. What
can't say for sure witching? You,

604
00:48:52.440 --> 00:49:00.679
said Zeke, Did I give you
something to help? Something to help?

605
00:49:01.280 --> 00:49:06.639
He got a little bottle and into
it he put a dried snail, mummified

606
00:49:06.800 --> 00:49:09.880
spider, and the toes from the
left foot of a tree toad. Hard

607
00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:16.719
thing's getting tight bandages to wrap them
spider mummy in. He added a bit

608
00:49:16.760 --> 00:49:21.280
of batswing, then corked it,
tied a string around the neck of the

609
00:49:21.280 --> 00:49:25.719
bottle. Thell do reckon, said
Zeke. Next, to take your hunting

610
00:49:25.840 --> 00:49:31.599
knife, sharpening up sharp as a
briar, and then keep it under your

611
00:49:31.639 --> 00:49:36.400
pillar at night. Tom hung the
bottle over Iffie's bed that night, and

612
00:49:36.480 --> 00:49:39.639
from that moment on she had no
more knight pass but he kept his hunting

613
00:49:39.719 --> 00:49:44.960
knife home to a razor edge under
his pillar. In the morning, Eleanor

614
00:49:45.079 --> 00:49:49.920
came to visit him an expressed disgust
at the jars Zeke Franklin had given Tom.

615
00:49:50.400 --> 00:49:57.039
That's foolishness, she said, sounding
downright angry. I don't have any

616
00:49:57.199 --> 00:50:02.599
patience and nonsense like out, not
allowing. While Tom tried to explain that

617
00:50:02.679 --> 00:50:08.400
the conjo man's jar had kept Effie
from nightmares, Eleanor ran back to her

618
00:50:08.440 --> 00:50:14.360
skiff and pulled across the pond without
ever once looking back at him. Frantic

619
00:50:14.599 --> 00:50:19.079
Tom shouted after her, but she
ignored him. In misery, he returned

620
00:50:19.079 --> 00:50:22.960
to his cabin while Effie hugged him. That night, something got into the

621
00:50:23.039 --> 00:50:29.800
chickens again and tore him apart out
of sheer meanness. I may have lost

622
00:50:29.800 --> 00:50:34.079
a lot, Tom said angrily the
next morning, but I'm not gonna lose

623
00:50:34.119 --> 00:50:37.079
any more, that's for damn sure. No hum. So he sent Effie

624
00:50:37.079 --> 00:50:42.000
into town to stay with neighbors.
That night, he moved a few remaining

625
00:50:42.079 --> 00:50:46.400
chickens into the barn and hid behind
some green bags near the windows. He

626
00:50:46.519 --> 00:50:51.360
had been in hiding long and he
heard the wind rise, followed by a

627
00:50:51.480 --> 00:50:55.800
rumble of thunder. A minute later, rain began pounding on the roof shingles

628
00:50:57.199 --> 00:51:00.400
by the wind howled through the cracks
in the walls. Tom was not a

629
00:51:00.480 --> 00:51:06.440
man easily frightened, but the power
of the storm began to make him uneasy,

630
00:51:06.679 --> 00:51:09.280
and the power of Christ compelled him. Then he heard a yowl that

631
00:51:09.440 --> 00:51:15.800
sent a thrill of terror up his
back. A moment later he heard a

632
00:51:15.880 --> 00:51:21.960
pounding on the doors, as if
huge fists were beaten upon it. Tom

633
00:51:22.039 --> 00:51:25.519
raised himself into a crouch. At
the same moment, a monstrous cat with

634
00:51:25.679 --> 00:51:30.119
flashing yellow eyes leaped at him through
the window of the barn. The man

635
00:51:30.239 --> 00:51:35.880
sliced the air with his knife to
defend himself. The braar sharp blade caught

636
00:51:35.920 --> 00:51:39.239
the cat's right paw, severing it
completely. The cat gave a shriek of

637
00:51:39.320 --> 00:51:45.440
pain, yellow eyes blazing, it
fled out through the back window. Tom

638
00:51:45.519 --> 00:51:49.280
stumbled out of the barn like a
man in a nightmare. A line of

639
00:51:49.360 --> 00:51:53.039
red drops led towards the shore though
the rain was washing the trail away,

640
00:51:53.280 --> 00:51:58.079
he was able to follow it easy
enough. At the water's edge, he

641
00:51:58.119 --> 00:52:00.559
saw the mark of a boat's prow, and the mud far out. With

642
00:52:00.639 --> 00:52:06.199
the rain pocked lake was lit by
flashes of lightning. Tom saw a skiff

643
00:52:06.320 --> 00:52:10.159
skimming the black water towards the opposite
shore. He shouted after, but the

644
00:52:10.159 --> 00:52:15.519
wind and thunder drowned out his cries. In a moment, he had launched

645
00:52:15.559 --> 00:52:20.280
his own boat and was rolling across
the storm lashed pawn. The storm ended

646
00:52:20.320 --> 00:52:23.480
shortly before dawn. The neighbors who
had care of effort came to the farm

647
00:52:23.599 --> 00:52:28.440
later when they had begun to wonder
why Tom hadn't come to claim his daughter.

648
00:52:29.559 --> 00:52:34.079
Silence lay over the farm. The
tracks of a man's boots led downder.

649
00:52:34.119 --> 00:52:37.840
The shore of the pond now silver
in the late morning sunlight. Some

650
00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:43.199
brave villagers rolled across the lake at
noon. On the far side, they

651
00:52:43.239 --> 00:52:49.840
found Tom sprawled lifelessly on the mudah
shore. Clenched in his fist was a

652
00:52:49.920 --> 00:52:53.480
severed paw of a cat. In
the rude cabin father up the shore,

653
00:52:53.519 --> 00:52:59.480
they found eleanor Faye collapsed face down
on the floor. When they turned a

654
00:52:59.599 --> 00:53:08.440
rover. They found she was dead
and a right hand was gone. A

655
00:53:08.599 --> 00:53:16.599
witch cat. I like that story. Man died, Yeah, died for

656
00:53:16.760 --> 00:53:21.800
love. Well, nobody was straight
with him. That's the village's fault.

657
00:53:22.039 --> 00:53:25.880
That's true. All they had to
say. Yeah, that's a witch pond.

658
00:53:27.039 --> 00:53:30.239
Yeah, look out for the witch
curs pond. She looks super super

659
00:53:30.239 --> 00:53:31.760
smoking hot. But dude, that's
witch poon. You don't want it?

660
00:53:31.920 --> 00:53:35.519
Why do I keep saying poon?
All right? I got one last story

661
00:53:35.519 --> 00:53:37.880
here for you. Okay, this
one is it Sit in the South as

662
00:53:37.880 --> 00:53:44.519
well as our others been, so
this one's called Run, Run for your

663
00:53:44.719 --> 00:53:57.320
Life from the Dingle Dinge. Sarah
hated her job at the mall. That

664
00:53:57.519 --> 00:54:00.039
was one reason she liked the tracks
so much. By the time she finished

665
00:54:00.079 --> 00:54:04.920
a run, Sarah had usually forgotten
about her idiot boss and all those annoying

666
00:54:04.960 --> 00:54:09.079
customers. The customers all ways,
right, her boss would repeat like a

667
00:54:09.239 --> 00:54:15.599
dick. Sarah knew, Sarah South's
pretty cool, Sarah's a badass. All

668
00:54:15.639 --> 00:54:17.719
Sarah knew is that sometimes they gave
her a real pain in the neck,

669
00:54:17.920 --> 00:54:22.360
and that was actually about two feet
below in her neck, right in the

670
00:54:22.480 --> 00:54:25.159
lumbar. No wait, she had
that weird torso problem. That's her ass.

671
00:54:28.159 --> 00:54:31.119
I barely followed that right. So
every day after work, Sarah changed

672
00:54:31.119 --> 00:54:35.679
into her her running clothes and shoes
and drove over to the high school track

673
00:54:35.760 --> 00:54:38.840
to bully some kids near her home. Another thing that was cool about the

674
00:54:38.880 --> 00:54:43.480
track was that few people used it. It was great to be outside and

675
00:54:43.519 --> 00:54:46.840
away from the crowds of them mall. So she lit a dooby, She

676
00:54:47.000 --> 00:54:52.639
spoke a dooby, she blazed a
jay, and after a couple of hot

677
00:54:52.679 --> 00:54:58.000
bong rips from the ja, from
the ja, it was a bong ja,

678
00:54:59.400 --> 00:55:02.159
she knew that she was gonna get
higher than she'd ever been before.

679
00:55:04.119 --> 00:55:07.679
Today was different. Sarah was surprised
to see more than thirty people going around

680
00:55:07.719 --> 00:55:12.320
in circles in the growing twilight.
She'd been there a little later than usual

681
00:55:12.320 --> 00:55:15.079
because she had worked some extra hours
because her dick bag boss asked her too.

682
00:55:15.320 --> 00:55:19.360
I guess it's more popular at this
time, thought Sarah, as she

683
00:55:19.400 --> 00:55:22.320
began warming up. After a few
laps, Sarah felt a sharp pain in

684
00:55:22.320 --> 00:55:28.840
her stomach. Oh, I shouldn't
have had those pretzel nachos. It was

685
00:55:28.920 --> 00:55:30.480
normal to have a few aches and
pains at the beginning of a run.

686
00:55:30.880 --> 00:55:35.800
They usually just went away after a
while. It's normal. Yeah, what

687
00:55:36.039 --> 00:55:38.639
you're the runner, you tell me
supposed to hurt the whole time. I'd

688
00:55:38.679 --> 00:55:43.800
die afterwards. Okay, they usually
just went away after a while. But

689
00:55:43.880 --> 00:55:49.039
this pain was getting worse than.
A terrible burning burp came up Sarah's throat.

690
00:55:49.679 --> 00:55:54.840
Oh God, no, that spaghetti
thought that trying to kill make She's

691
00:55:54.880 --> 00:55:59.719
so cool, she said out loud, remembering what she had for lunch and

692
00:56:00.039 --> 00:56:02.800
hasting it again. Sarah slowed down
and began walking, but the first time

693
00:56:02.840 --> 00:56:07.280
since she arrived, she began looking
closely at the people going around the track.

694
00:56:07.760 --> 00:56:10.239
They were all walking slowly, and
they were all dressed in church clothes.

695
00:56:10.639 --> 00:56:15.199
What a bunch of frakes, Sarah
thought, Oh man, they are

696
00:56:15.440 --> 00:56:19.679
I agree with her. She began
to run again, but it was no

697
00:56:19.840 --> 00:56:22.280
use. The pain wouldn't let her. Sarah was now moving as slowly as

698
00:56:22.320 --> 00:56:25.840
the others. Soon, an old
man in a brown suit started walking next

699
00:56:25.840 --> 00:56:30.760
to her. Sarah noticed that his
face was very pale, and there was

700
00:56:30.800 --> 00:56:43.039
something strangely familiar about it. Shita. He said something to you, Oh

701
00:56:43.159 --> 00:56:49.559
yeah, our tall like growth falled
Mankah Martaladay stopped creeping on me. I

702
00:56:49.599 --> 00:56:52.199
have a boyfriend. Sarah stopped and
began to ask him how we knew her

703
00:56:52.280 --> 00:56:55.119
name, But then as the old
man turned to face her, she saw

704
00:56:55.159 --> 00:57:00.880
that the other half of his face
was completely eaten away. My god,

705
00:57:00.039 --> 00:57:07.199
two Faith from the fan series Screaming. Sarah started running forgetting about the pain,

706
00:57:07.320 --> 00:57:10.679
she ran as fast as she could, around and around the track mindlessly.

707
00:57:12.320 --> 00:57:14.880
Oh. She ran to the parking
lot, but her car wasn't there,

708
00:57:15.239 --> 00:57:17.719
so she kept running. And she
ran and ran and ran, and

709
00:57:17.760 --> 00:57:22.960
then she ran. She finally looked
over her shoulder, hoping that the old

710
00:57:22.960 --> 00:57:27.480
man wasn't somehow chasing her, and
there was no one. Yeah. Sarah

711
00:57:27.559 --> 00:57:30.320
began to slow down, and then
she saw her car up ahead in the

712
00:57:30.320 --> 00:57:34.360
middle of the street, surrounded by
a group of people. Suddenly she remembered

713
00:57:34.360 --> 00:57:40.440
who the old man. Grandpa,
She gasped, but hands been Dad for

714
00:57:40.599 --> 00:57:45.719
like ten yards farrest Like, Grandpa, don't come to scol with me.

715
00:57:46.239 --> 00:57:51.639
Uh, it's so embarrassing. I'm
gonna put this on s notchat. My

716
00:57:51.760 --> 00:57:54.079
god, my friends are gonna think
I'm the lame because my grandpa's half dead

717
00:57:54.119 --> 00:57:59.039
and he's like trying to run track
and you know what, you look terrible.

718
00:57:59.199 --> 00:58:02.280
You can't run in it, they
Grandpa, I can't apply enough filters

719
00:58:02.320 --> 00:58:09.679
on Instagram. It's designed for athletic
wicking, Grandpa to sweat, and I

720
00:58:09.719 --> 00:58:15.599
can't use the wicking feature, glythening
the pain in her stomach, Grandpa.

721
00:58:15.840 --> 00:58:19.199
The pain in her stomach came back
stronger than ever as Sarah wobbled down the

722
00:58:19.239 --> 00:58:25.199
street. If I I'm pregnant,
I am going to live my gang mind.

723
00:58:25.519 --> 00:58:30.880
I can't even It's gonna be Thumbercamp
all over again. I know it.

724
00:58:30.719 --> 00:58:35.320
I won't go back there. She
seemed to float past a crowd surrounding

725
00:58:35.320 --> 00:58:38.000
her car. As she looked in
through the crack glass, Sarah saw herself.

726
00:58:38.239 --> 00:58:42.840
Her lifeless body was crushed under the
steering wheel. Her eyes were open

727
00:58:42.920 --> 00:58:45.920
but saw nothing, and there was
a dark growing stain over her stomach.

728
00:58:46.199 --> 00:58:52.199
That wasn't just spaghetti sauce. What
was it? Oh my god? If

729
00:58:52.400 --> 00:58:58.599
I stained that sweater, it was
like super expensive. I had to put

730
00:58:58.679 --> 00:59:01.840
on layaway for like rams because my
dad wouldn't give me the money they end

731
00:59:02.360 --> 00:59:07.679
guess what. Sarah was already dead, but since her stomach didn't start to

732
00:59:07.719 --> 00:59:12.280
hurt until she was running she's technically
in a position of superposition. She was

733
00:59:12.320 --> 00:59:16.800
occupying two spaces simultaneously in a quantum
state. Yeah. So then someone looked

734
00:59:16.800 --> 00:59:22.239
in the car and the entire superposition
collapsed in on itself. But guess what.

735
00:59:22.639 --> 00:59:29.760
She was still interacting with other particles, Graham particles as they raced around

736
00:59:29.800 --> 00:59:35.519
the track, which is probably just
the metaphor for electron electrons orbiting nucleus.

737
00:59:35.559 --> 00:59:39.960
That you're right, this is like
some pretty deep science. Yeah, if

738
00:59:40.000 --> 00:59:45.239
you start reminding people what they're listening
to. All right, Flora, Sarah

739
00:59:46.119 --> 00:59:52.119
doesn't know. That was not dick
attack. It was a laptoss of a

740
00:59:52.159 --> 00:59:59.639
book and a gentle laptoss. Gentle
laptoss is my stage name, Tulsa.

741
01:00:00.199 --> 01:00:04.320
All right, well, uh so
what would you do? What would you

742
01:00:04.360 --> 01:00:09.719
do if you suddenly saw yourself?
Oh that is actually easy, ghost slaps.

743
01:00:09.760 --> 01:00:15.320
I would start ghost slapping people.
Oh other people, Yeah, yourself,

744
01:00:15.360 --> 01:00:16.800
all the all the lucky those that
came around. I'd want them all

745
01:00:16.840 --> 01:00:21.440
to be like and then something slap
me? Is that what you would do

746
01:00:21.519 --> 01:00:24.400
to me? Would you would you
ever try and come back and and like

747
01:00:24.719 --> 01:00:29.159
make contact after you die, or
would you just not give a fuck?

748
01:00:29.320 --> 01:00:31.960
I would not give a fuck.
See you're an atole. Yeah, after

749
01:00:32.039 --> 01:00:36.559
doing this for four years, you
wouldn't. You wouldn't do me the the

750
01:00:36.679 --> 01:00:39.280
nicety of being like, here's here's
what you got. Yeah, you know

751
01:00:39.320 --> 01:00:43.440
why I wouldn't. I'd be doing
you a giant favor because you'd sound like

752
01:00:43.480 --> 01:00:45.639
a nutter. You'd sound like you'd
gone around the bend. And I'm going

753
01:00:45.719 --> 01:00:49.559
to do you the favor withholding that. That would be the ultimate prank.

754
01:00:49.880 --> 01:00:53.400
You would just that's that's like trolling
me from the afterlife. Yeah, except

755
01:00:53.440 --> 01:00:55.960
you know what you know what I
do is I just punch you square in

756
01:00:57.000 --> 01:01:00.079
the balls, like every fortnight.
You want the current, You want an

757
01:01:00.079 --> 01:01:04.880
eternity of cockslaps because you get them, keep going. You just keep it

758
01:01:04.960 --> 01:01:09.360
up, mister cock slaps, two
eternities. I can. I can do

759
01:01:09.400 --> 01:01:12.960
this all day. Here's what you
gotta understand. The cock slap is very

760
01:01:12.960 --> 01:01:15.519
different from the nut punch. Okay, yeah, they eat each of them

761
01:01:15.559 --> 01:01:20.360
in their own way. Is I
think that a cock slap is is more

762
01:01:21.079 --> 01:01:25.239
emotionally insulting? Yeah, well,
don't slap slaps in general. Okay,

763
01:01:25.519 --> 01:01:30.320
enough of this, I've got to
end us on a poem perm and don't

764
01:01:30.360 --> 01:01:35.880
forget when you're all sitting around your
camp fires this summer sabass and hot as

765
01:01:35.960 --> 01:01:38.840
hill and trying to keep the mosquitoes
off of you, and all the West

766
01:01:38.920 --> 01:01:43.159
Nile and Zeke and whatever else they
want to scare you with. Getting all

767
01:01:43.159 --> 01:01:45.280
of it. It's part of camp, and get that out of there.

768
01:01:45.639 --> 01:01:51.199
You're regaling each other with the storied
terror and screw in us. I want

769
01:01:51.199 --> 01:01:53.760
you to remember a little fourth stands
a poem. It's real short, but

770
01:01:53.880 --> 01:01:58.599
it's a love story. It's very
nice, and it's a good palate cleanser

771
01:01:58.639 --> 01:02:06.000
for everybody called Grandpa. It's called
Grandpa Grandpa. My ending poem for us

772
01:02:06.000 --> 01:02:15.000
for camp fire ghost stories this year
is called your hand in mine. I

773
01:02:15.119 --> 01:02:19.360
hold your hand in mind, dear. I press it to my lips.

774
01:02:19.960 --> 01:02:23.960
I take a healthy bite from your
dainty fingertips. My joy would be complete,

775
01:02:24.000 --> 01:02:28.679
dear, if only you were here. But I shall keep your hand

776
01:02:28.719 --> 01:02:31.559
as a precious souvenir. Well.
The night you died, I cut it

777
01:02:31.599 --> 01:02:36.519
off. I really don't know why. For now, each time I kiss

778
01:02:36.559 --> 01:02:40.079
it, I kick bloodstains on my
tie. I'm sorry now I killed you

779
01:02:40.679 --> 01:02:45.559
or our love was something fine,
and until they come and get me,

780
01:02:45.360 --> 01:02:53.800
I shall hold your hand in mine. All there's a lot of unwanted eye

781
01:02:53.840 --> 01:03:00.920
contact happening right now. That's messed
up. Its creepy, spooky duke.

782
01:03:00.239 --> 01:03:06.320
That's what love is. Love is
murder and disembodiment. Lies was cutting your

783
01:03:06.320 --> 01:03:10.760
hand off and holding it forever.
Show me your hand after it's cut off.

784
01:03:12.280 --> 01:03:14.719
Oh my god, you know what? Do you like that? Yeah?

785
01:03:14.760 --> 01:03:15.840
You know what else? I want
to know? No, I want

786
01:03:15.840 --> 01:03:22.920
to know what Panza jump the nut? Gun nutshell it yeah, nut show

787
01:03:23.000 --> 01:03:28.119
him. Well, that'll do us
for some camp fire ghost stories. You

788
01:03:28.159 --> 01:03:34.360
know we uh it was it in
that those stories are in a mostly Southern

789
01:03:34.519 --> 01:03:39.840
bloody Oh my god, nut shall
nut shall, I am a large nut,

790
01:03:39.840 --> 01:03:45.079
shouts that. Grandpa, Bray,
I'm allergic. Grandpa. I thought

791
01:03:45.079 --> 01:03:47.599
it was. I thought it'd be
fun to do a ghost stories were a

792
01:03:47.599 --> 01:03:51.559
little early. Maybe I don't give
a man, Okay, I know you

793
01:03:51.559 --> 01:03:53.320
don't. I know you don't,
But I'm just saying. We we've got

794
01:03:53.360 --> 01:03:58.400
October coming up, which is ghost
story central. It actually is coming up

795
01:03:58.440 --> 01:04:01.440
now. Like that scares the Jesus
out of me. That Jesus wasn't in

796
01:04:01.559 --> 01:04:06.079
me. But boy, whatever was
left its God, it packed up its

797
01:04:06.119 --> 01:04:12.119
briefcase. It's pamphlets and it's new
contestament, and it got this shit out

798
01:04:12.119 --> 01:04:18.159
of me. It I coming back, doesn't even care about the security deposit,

799
01:04:18.199 --> 01:04:21.679
which it wasn't getting. Oh that's
uh, it's been a while since

800
01:04:21.679 --> 01:04:26.280
we've had a ghost story episode,
so I thought it might be fun to

801
01:04:26.320 --> 01:04:28.599
throw one in right now. I
like that. You know what else I

802
01:04:28.639 --> 01:04:35.440
want? No? I want to
know what puns is? Oh THEO are

803
01:04:35.519 --> 01:04:40.000
you go? H? If I
could? I got one, I'm gonna

804
01:04:40.000 --> 01:04:42.880
start off puns here. Oh you're
gonna you're gonna take it from me?

805
01:04:42.960 --> 01:04:45.440
Okay, I am. You don't
know? Uh, you know. There's

806
01:04:45.559 --> 01:04:51.559
a product that's available. It's a
it's a small discrete adhesive uh plastic thing,

807
01:04:51.840 --> 01:04:58.639
uh tag with some electronics in it
that if you download the accompanying app

808
01:04:58.840 --> 01:05:01.039
from the app store and you're small
phone, you can track it and you'll

809
01:05:01.039 --> 01:05:08.079
actually get alerts if if it gets
too close. And it's called Grandpa Tracker,

810
01:05:08.480 --> 01:05:11.519
so he can't sneak up on me. It's like if he starts shuffling

811
01:05:11.559 --> 01:05:14.880
too clothes, my fune will tell
me. Even if I'm texting the like

812
01:05:14.960 --> 01:05:21.280
alert Grandpa's coming. Grandpa tapes may
thou growth hey, kay, hey,

813
01:05:23.000 --> 01:05:26.079
keep thinying that he loves me,
and then I have to tell stories about

814
01:05:26.159 --> 01:05:29.559
things that don't matter anymore. All
right, all right, Grandpa Tracker.

815
01:05:29.639 --> 01:05:33.679
It's a pun sponsor for the podcast. I have a certain annoyance. I

816
01:05:34.199 --> 01:05:38.400
think it is, you know,
when you're on the farm and you wake

817
01:05:38.519 --> 01:05:42.039
up in the middle of the night
because all your chickens are just going nuts

818
01:05:42.039 --> 01:05:45.480
and you run down there and they've
all got red bottoms. They're like welted,

819
01:05:45.760 --> 01:05:49.000
yeah, red and stingy. Yeah, they're they're puffy butts. Yeah,

820
01:05:49.039 --> 01:05:53.880
puffy, puffy butt chickens. Yeah. Well you've been you've been visited

821
01:05:53.880 --> 01:06:00.400
by the switch cat. Oh you
know there's a bakery shop mostly did uh

822
01:06:00.440 --> 01:06:03.480
breakfast foods things like that, you
know, muffins and the like. But

823
01:06:04.159 --> 01:06:10.400
they hired a new baker so inepped
that they I strongly suspect that this baker

824
01:06:10.480 --> 01:06:14.760
never even worked in the industry before
people came in. Somehow, just in

825
01:06:15.119 --> 01:06:18.960
just in cutting up the dough,
managed to cut his hand but not put

826
01:06:18.960 --> 01:06:24.599
a band aid on. Oh and
didn't even like actually have the oven heat

827
01:06:24.639 --> 01:06:28.880
set right so when people came in, um, you know, they would

828
01:06:28.880 --> 01:06:31.840
buy a loaf of bread and they
cut it and it was just dough and

829
01:06:31.960 --> 01:06:35.199
I mean it was an awful thing. And it got into the local newspaper

830
01:06:35.280 --> 01:06:45.599
and the headline was raw bread and
bloody scones. Yeah. Oh, and

831
01:06:45.639 --> 01:06:49.480
did I mentioned that the baker was
a giant ambulatory pig skeleton? Yeah?

832
01:06:49.480 --> 01:06:54.360
Oh good? Oh no you didn't. Sorry no. Um, Well,

833
01:06:54.400 --> 01:06:57.440
I've got a I've got a place
that's a little off the beaten path.

834
01:06:57.800 --> 01:07:00.239
Good. It's out in the woods, kind of hidden away. You really

835
01:07:00.280 --> 01:07:04.519
have to just get lost before you
find the want it. But it's a

836
01:07:04.639 --> 01:07:12.679
it's a restaurant, and it's it's
very chic. It's it's very high class.

837
01:07:12.760 --> 01:07:15.079
It's an elegant place. It's some
you know, like only the the

838
01:07:15.679 --> 01:07:19.119
I love elegance. I celebrate it. Only the high rollers go there.

839
01:07:19.199 --> 01:07:25.519
And it's it's written about wins a
lot of rewards of awards and rewards and

840
01:07:25.639 --> 01:07:30.880
uh and has written about in all
the big food sines and stuff, you

841
01:07:30.920 --> 01:07:33.000
know, like cooking mags and stuff. Well, um, it's funny because

842
01:07:33.039 --> 01:07:36.119
you go there, you get a
lot of raw meat. Oh yeah,

843
01:07:35.920 --> 01:07:41.920
you know, things are served rare, like very rare. But it's it's

844
01:07:41.960 --> 01:07:46.679
in fashion, it's it's total mode. Yeah, it's the hungry hot Oh

845
01:07:46.800 --> 01:07:51.320
nice, forgot the hungry hut.
I would have made a punt about a

846
01:07:51.360 --> 01:07:55.840
hungry butt. But that's because I
am. I'm the lowest brow there is.

847
01:07:56.519 --> 01:08:00.159
But you know the the thong store. Yeah, I see did it.

848
01:08:00.719 --> 01:08:05.320
That's fun fun, And now it's
time for you to horrify us with

849
01:08:05.400 --> 01:08:12.760
the stories that are not necessarily fictionalized
but nonetheless terrifying. It's a listener.

850
01:08:26.359 --> 01:08:36.159
Listener mails from mal free mail Stai
mail, I never arrived. You can't

851
01:08:36.159 --> 01:08:41.119
do it? Start the beat?
Does it hurt you? I can't.

852
01:08:41.319 --> 01:08:45.319
You can't slice up the beat?
And then make fun of each each hot

853
01:08:45.359 --> 01:08:47.600
track I did. I did slice
up the beat. God, it was

854
01:08:47.680 --> 01:08:50.920
tasty for a while. Yeah.
Well then I sliced it up and served

855
01:08:50.960 --> 01:08:56.399
it. I got some shout outs
for us, ohs. These are These

856
01:08:56.479 --> 01:09:00.079
are given shout outs to people who
have sent in suggestions or just like a

857
01:09:00.600 --> 01:09:04.079
love the show, thank you guys
for fun. Let's shout outs, rops,

858
01:09:04.560 --> 01:09:11.720
high fives, and verbal hand jobs. Shout outs and props, high

859
01:09:11.840 --> 01:09:17.000
fives and verbal jobs it's weird when
there's no beat. Huh, it's weird.

860
01:09:17.039 --> 01:09:24.159
It's weird when there's no beat backing
track. Just anyways, we want

861
01:09:24.199 --> 01:09:30.000
to give a shout out to Jenitor, Yes, Tyler to not helping Matters,

862
01:09:30.479 --> 01:09:35.039
Mike C from Portland, Hello,
Mike C. Littlemith Bones Portland from

863
01:09:35.039 --> 01:09:41.199
down Under love Bones, General Ironicus, Oh, General Ironicus, your real

864
01:09:41.279 --> 01:09:46.279
name is Grant Now everyone knows.
Oh. Shout out Taco Moose, who

865
01:09:46.359 --> 01:09:49.119
actually has a quick joke. What
do you call a flying creature that is

866
01:09:49.159 --> 01:09:55.720
extremely fat in the face but the
jowlman? Nice? Shout out to craft

867
01:09:55.720 --> 01:10:01.159
Apocalypse, Yes to Rob, to
Matt Squatch Matt's thank you guys for writing

868
01:10:01.199 --> 01:10:05.680
in, thanks for suggestions and Levins
and all that good stuff. Yeah,

869
01:10:05.680 --> 01:10:12.479
thank you. I got some listener
now here from the amused muse. Here's

870
01:10:12.560 --> 01:10:16.840
mus I just want to say that
your Brolander intro sketch in the Saint Germain

871
01:10:16.920 --> 01:10:23.600
episode Crog Crog had me laughing so
much. I was walking into work.

872
01:10:23.600 --> 01:10:26.640
I'm pretty sure people's dogs were looking
at me. Funny. That's awesome.

873
01:10:27.880 --> 01:10:31.640
Oh accomplished. I don't think this
raises the level of a penalty box.

874
01:10:33.279 --> 01:10:38.199
This is gonna be on me.
I just know it, which reminds me

875
01:10:38.239 --> 01:10:40.680
we're not going to do it because
it's too late now. But we I

876
01:10:40.760 --> 01:10:43.640
do owe the people a penalty box. Oh I think I might owe one

877
01:10:43.720 --> 01:10:45.760
too. I don't know if we've
gotten to it. Okay, um,

878
01:10:46.239 --> 01:10:53.159
but referring to Bonnie Prince Charlie aka
the Young Pretender as Englishman, my get

879
01:10:53.159 --> 01:10:59.000
you listed in the column in next
month's Scott's magazine. This is how much

880
01:10:59.039 --> 01:11:01.960
we listen to our own damned episodes. I don't even know what you're referring

881
01:11:02.000 --> 01:11:05.399
to. We yeah, we're not
even sure. I mean, you're absolutely

882
01:11:05.479 --> 01:11:11.000
right. I'm sure, don't worry. But there's a permanent page in Scott's

883
01:11:11.079 --> 01:11:15.039
magazine just has our name on it. It's the thing man with English history

884
01:11:15.399 --> 01:11:19.079
that is convoluted. That's true.
It is tough, really matters when I

885
01:11:19.159 --> 01:11:23.199
guess. But you're right, I
can't remember. Whenever it comes to the

886
01:11:23.239 --> 01:11:26.319
Scots, You're gonna get your ass
kicked if you say Englishman every time.

887
01:11:26.359 --> 01:11:29.239
That is true. It's just a
universal fact. The first episode of this

888
01:11:29.279 --> 01:11:31.760
year's Miss Cryptic Contest has reminded me
of something. I dearly hope that your

889
01:11:31.760 --> 01:11:35.520
store will someday offer items featuring the
Boone County Wood Snoot. Oh. Yes,

890
01:11:35.560 --> 01:11:40.359
we do talk about that a lot. I can't I don't care if

891
01:11:40.359 --> 01:11:43.239
it's a t shirt, a truck
or hat, or a coouzie for one's

892
01:11:43.279 --> 01:11:47.119
bud was or select. I would
buy such things immediately. I we We've

893
01:11:47.119 --> 01:11:55.039
actually discussed a few different ideas for
Boone County Wood Snoot merchandise. Unfortunately,

894
01:11:55.079 --> 01:11:59.640
the thing that's tough is that we
have so many ideas and and truth be

895
01:11:59.720 --> 01:12:02.359
told, we love you guys.
You guys, you know you support the

896
01:12:02.399 --> 01:12:08.640
podcast, but there's like a minimum
order on everything train it and it really

897
01:12:08.680 --> 01:12:12.159
bones us. So so if we
hear so, if you want Boone County

898
01:12:12.199 --> 01:12:15.359
stuff like, please write in,
let us know, tweeted at us or

899
01:12:15.399 --> 01:12:18.079
whatever, and then we'll know that
that's the thing we should do. Keep

900
01:12:18.159 --> 01:12:20.279
up with the good work. I've
been listening to your show for more than

901
01:12:20.319 --> 01:12:23.960
a year now. Thank you,
thank you. Still look forward to it

902
01:12:24.000 --> 01:12:29.159
every week. Cheers, amused music, thank you, Mused news to hear

903
01:12:29.199 --> 01:12:32.319
from you again, Dave, we've
heard from Alex the hoopie well not a

904
01:12:32.359 --> 01:12:38.319
harpie hoopy down. Does Alex Alex
mean that alex is a hula hoopist.

905
01:12:38.640 --> 01:12:41.800
Yeah, I can only assume yes. They call each other themselves hoopies.

906
01:12:42.000 --> 01:12:44.800
What did your mother call you?
Started listening a couple of weeks ago,

907
01:12:44.880 --> 01:12:46.720
Loving It. Wanted to give props
to Dave for the singing of the Rain

908
01:12:46.800 --> 01:12:50.199
reference during an episode. One episode's
listener mail, I think maybe that was

909
01:12:50.279 --> 01:12:55.319
Moses supposes, Oh, maybe,
I love Singing in the Rains, one

910
01:12:55.359 --> 01:12:57.680
of my favorite movies of all time. Also a heads up for some of

911
01:12:57.720 --> 01:13:00.479
your listeners during a couple of episodes. Acially, once I mentioned ancient Aliens,

912
01:13:00.479 --> 01:13:02.560
I started feeling a bit off.
It took me some time, but

913
01:13:02.600 --> 01:13:05.439
I finally figured out it was the
same feeling I got when watching the History

914
01:13:05.520 --> 01:13:09.199
Channel. Went to see the doctor, and after some test I found out

915
01:13:09.199 --> 01:13:14.079
that I was sucalose intolerant. Nice, I got gut pains and gas problems.

916
01:13:14.079 --> 01:13:16.880
Every time that fucker shows up on
TV sends a request for more dry

917
01:13:16.920 --> 01:13:20.199
fuss and more angry badger noises.
We do will people more dry fuss.

918
01:13:20.199 --> 01:13:24.039
People love that we don't do it
enough. When I think about the lack

919
01:13:24.079 --> 01:13:27.159
of dry fuss in an episode and
how that has to make all our listeners

920
01:13:27.199 --> 01:13:30.640
feel I feel like all of them
are making a dry fuss. Come on,

921
01:13:32.039 --> 01:13:36.079
there's one right in the scales.
Yep. Another question for us,

922
01:13:36.079 --> 01:13:41.239
if Jeff the talking mongoose is actually
holding down a job as a cobra exterminator,

923
01:13:41.319 --> 01:13:44.560
is he actually acrypted? He's been
through a couple of office jobs.

924
01:13:44.560 --> 01:13:47.439
At one point he was able to
get dental insurance and Dennis, who apparently

925
01:13:47.520 --> 01:13:50.239
was like, yep, I cleaned
the teeth of a talking mongoose. Whatever.

926
01:13:50.319 --> 01:13:55.079
Is insurance as good until it wasn't? At what point does Jeff stop

927
01:13:55.079 --> 01:13:58.680
being encrypted? It had become just
some weird, hairy, creepy exterminator.

928
01:13:59.119 --> 01:14:02.239
If sasquatched are working as a lumberjack, would he or she still be considered

929
01:14:02.279 --> 01:14:06.840
encrypted or just as slightly less hairy
than usual lumberjack. I think that Jeff

930
01:14:06.880 --> 01:14:12.880
will always be encrypted because he's enigmatic. He doesn't like talking much about himself.

931
01:14:12.960 --> 01:14:17.640
Yeah, he doesn't fit into your
civilization stereotypes, right, Yeah,

932
01:14:17.680 --> 01:14:23.600
he loves birds, not other mongooses. Oh get this. Alex's usual go

933
01:14:23.720 --> 01:14:28.439
to are buffalo trace and larceny.
Hey. Oh, but if you want

934
01:14:28.479 --> 01:14:32.199
something price and fancier, chestnut Farms
is excellent oh, I haven't tried chestnut

935
01:14:32.239 --> 01:14:36.840
farms and I haven't tried I mean
I was drinking Buffalo trace tonight. Yeah.

936
01:14:38.079 --> 01:14:43.119
Was originally introduced to Ken Hit through
the HP Lovecraft Literary podcast, which

937
01:14:43.199 --> 01:14:46.039
is a good podcast, and thrilled
to hear him on Blurry Photos. We

938
01:14:46.039 --> 01:14:48.960
should definitely have him back. I'm
sure we will. Oh god, yes,

939
01:14:49.000 --> 01:14:51.840
well more pun. There was a
guy who took a plane across Washington

940
01:14:51.920 --> 01:14:55.760
State. On the plane, he
has nearly every single passenger for a couple

941
01:14:55.760 --> 01:14:58.880
of dollars. He also asked the
flight crew and the pilots to see if

942
01:14:58.880 --> 01:15:01.439
they had any extra cat, going
so far as to have them radio every

943
01:15:01.439 --> 01:15:03.840
tower along the way to see if
they could spare a few bucks or maybe

944
01:15:03.880 --> 01:15:08.600
parachute or four, promising that he
would pay them back after his nick paycheck.

945
01:15:08.880 --> 01:15:13.960
You know. His name was what
dB moocher Nice, Thank you,

946
01:15:14.000 --> 01:15:17.640
Alex Lahoopie, thank you. Next
one is up from the bread Master,

947
01:15:18.079 --> 01:15:24.640
Breadmaster, Breadmaster rights. Hi David, David, Hi, oh Hi.

948
01:15:24.720 --> 01:15:29.399
I've been listening since Ironiciss recommended your
podcast on his podcast. Thanks Grant,

949
01:15:29.720 --> 01:15:32.560
and I've thoroughly enjoyed everything you guys
put out. However, binging the entire

950
01:15:32.680 --> 01:15:35.680
archives over a period of a couple
of months was not my best choice.

951
01:15:35.920 --> 01:15:42.880
Agreed. I don't recommend it.
Check up anybody digestive send your crawl like

952
01:15:42.920 --> 01:15:45.399
a stuck in your craws, especially
during the time I should be finishing my

953
01:15:45.479 --> 01:15:48.560
master's degree. Yeah, that's not
going to help you, which I did

954
01:15:48.560 --> 01:15:53.479
a week before writing this. Congratulation's
Breadmaster, so it's not just I mean

955
01:15:53.520 --> 01:15:57.760
he was just bread but now he's
bread Master's a master of bread. Yeah,

956
01:15:57.800 --> 01:16:01.560
he's got an MB Yeah. I
cannot seem to remember which episode it

957
01:16:01.600 --> 01:16:03.800
was in, but there was one
where you guys took on the topic of

958
01:16:03.840 --> 01:16:08.800
Pokemon and this is what a stroke
must feel like. Do you remember which

959
01:16:08.800 --> 01:16:12.119
one that is? Yeah? Where
does where did that start? This is

960
01:16:12.159 --> 01:16:15.880
what a stroke feels like. I
really don't remember. I feel like you

961
01:16:15.000 --> 01:16:17.399
told me one day, like recently
you were like, oh, yeah,

962
01:16:17.399 --> 01:16:21.359
you know that episode. We might
have looked it up, but I cannot

963
01:16:21.399 --> 01:16:26.840
recall which one, which single episode
that was in. But I'll tell you

964
01:16:26.840 --> 01:16:30.840
what. We do have that sound
effect in the old sound effect files for

965
01:16:31.079 --> 01:16:33.920
Patreon. I know if it's a
month one or month two, we split

966
01:16:33.960 --> 01:16:39.640
them into month the installments of sound
effects. But I wonder, you know,

967
01:16:39.960 --> 01:16:44.119
um, someday, hopefully we'll get
popular enough. Someday someone is going

968
01:16:44.199 --> 01:16:46.359
to go through and do like an
episode guide. It's not gonna be like

969
01:16:46.399 --> 01:16:50.079
a wiki. Yeah, it's not
gonna be us. Yeah, but man,

970
01:16:50.119 --> 01:16:55.199
it's maybe it's maybe someday some great
human being who wants like free T

971
01:16:55.319 --> 01:17:01.039
shirt would do that and all the
inside jokes. Here's the thing. Here's

972
01:17:01.039 --> 01:17:04.159
the thing though. Now that means
that if I say that like five people

973
01:17:04.159 --> 01:17:09.199
are, this is gonna be the
hollower certificates all over again. I rescind

974
01:17:09.319 --> 01:17:12.560
the offer, not because I don't
want it, because it's gonna be like,

975
01:17:12.880 --> 01:17:15.359
oh I did it, I described
an episode. Where's my shirt?

976
01:17:15.279 --> 01:17:18.600
No, I can't. That's not
how the internet works. I've learned my

977
01:17:18.680 --> 01:17:23.520
lesson, which, by the way, I'm gonna send you the file for

978
01:17:23.560 --> 01:17:26.560
that, and we're just gonna put
a link on the website so people can

979
01:17:26.640 --> 01:17:30.960
download their own Hollow Earth because people
still send me, oh, I think

980
01:17:30.000 --> 01:17:33.960
we've got one printed password? Is
McClintock. Give me the damn thing.

981
01:17:34.520 --> 01:17:39.359
I think there was. I put
a limit on it, and everyone ignores

982
01:17:39.439 --> 01:17:44.319
that part. I think there was
one certificate that you never sent to anybody.

983
01:17:44.560 --> 01:17:47.399
Yeah, it's like the Lisa frank
that literally no one ever got.

984
01:17:48.439 --> 01:17:50.720
Put a limit on that one too, and no one got it. Actually

985
01:17:50.760 --> 01:17:54.439
no, I take it back,
and he got a certificate that no one

986
01:17:54.479 --> 01:17:57.760
else got. Really, Yeah,
was it the Lisa Franklin Now? Because

987
01:17:57.760 --> 01:18:00.399
I never finished it, I still
have it in my computer, like so

988
01:18:00.479 --> 01:18:04.560
many things never finished. Unlucky anyway, moving on, So the answer the

989
01:18:04.640 --> 01:18:10.800
question Breadmasters, we don't know,
but you know honestly the Blurry Photos fan

990
01:18:10.840 --> 01:18:14.479
page. Yeah, I'll bet you
maybe somebody there knows because we know because

991
01:18:14.479 --> 01:18:17.079
I'll tell you what when, And
I don't know. Maybe it isn't my

992
01:18:17.119 --> 01:18:20.479
whole life, like as an improviser
when I do, like when I was

993
01:18:20.520 --> 01:18:25.479
on stage or even doing the episode, I don't remember it when it's done,

994
01:18:25.720 --> 01:18:28.760
that's true. I and so like
I actually listened to it like two

995
01:18:28.840 --> 01:18:31.319
or three times and I yeah,
yeah, when he's editing it, he

996
01:18:31.319 --> 01:18:34.279
hasn't listened to it for like eight
damn hours, you know. Yeah,

997
01:18:34.279 --> 01:18:38.479
come on, eight, I'm not
a superman. It used to be twelve.

998
01:18:38.520 --> 01:18:40.960
We cut it down to eight with
the new technology. What is this?

999
01:18:41.159 --> 01:18:45.960
We know it's twelve. It takes
a long fun time him. I've

1000
01:18:45.000 --> 01:18:47.279
got to I've got to cut it
down and then I've got to listen to

1001
01:18:47.319 --> 01:18:54.439
it and make sure i never get
all the bleeps out. Furious, furious,

1002
01:18:54.520 --> 01:19:00.199
furious, Yeah, jim Jimmy's have
been rustled. So is we never

1003
01:19:00.239 --> 01:19:02.920
remember what we do when it's done. True. When I listened to the

1004
01:19:02.920 --> 01:19:06.560
episode, I am constantly surprised by
what both of us say because I don't

1005
01:19:06.560 --> 01:19:10.560
remember it. So sorry, I
don't have a better answer for you,

1006
01:19:10.560 --> 01:19:14.239
their breadmaster, But congratulations on your
breadmastery. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

1007
01:19:14.279 --> 01:19:16.000
I mean, you know what,
have fun going through the archives and trying

1008
01:19:16.039 --> 01:19:20.319
to find it. That's that's my
advice. That sounds like a sounds like

1009
01:19:20.600 --> 01:19:27.359
fun listening to more of our miserable
bullshit, Dave. We've heard from Bryce.

1010
01:19:27.800 --> 01:19:30.680
Hello, Bryce, cool boy.
Nice to hear from your Bryce.

1011
01:19:31.720 --> 01:19:35.640
Oh thank twice before. Okay,
Hey guys, I've got a bone to

1012
01:19:35.680 --> 01:19:39.000
pick with you. In the Cikada
thirty three or one y episode, you

1013
01:19:39.039 --> 01:19:42.359
talked about the possibilities of a live
show on tour, and then you were

1014
01:19:42.399 --> 01:19:45.960
like, we're not going to Boise, Idaho. That's disappointing because I live

1015
01:19:45.000 --> 01:19:49.000
in boys. That was Flora who
said that? That was David Flora.

1016
01:19:49.119 --> 01:19:55.720
Direct your comments to d Flora at
I'm in trouble dot next. So I

1017
01:19:55.720 --> 01:19:58.239
hope you can find your way here
because I'd love to buy you guys a

1018
01:19:58.279 --> 01:20:01.359
beer for one of our numerous Luke
breweries. I get it if it's not

1019
01:20:01.479 --> 01:20:03.960
logistically possible to have a show here, but I'd love if you could make

1020
01:20:03.960 --> 01:20:09.239
a random detour and let me express
my appreciation the show. I would,

1021
01:20:09.399 --> 01:20:18.800
Unlike David Flora, I'd love to
Flora doesn't want yeah here. Here's the

1022
01:20:18.880 --> 01:20:24.960
deal bryceon and I'm sorry, uh
if if you are offended by it,

1023
01:20:25.039 --> 01:20:30.279
I wasn't trying to offend Boise or
any of its any residents. Shut up

1024
01:20:30.279 --> 01:20:35.720
for a second. He's wearing a
T shirt that says shut up my shot?

1025
01:20:35.880 --> 01:20:44.479
Does he shut up? So?
Oh? Checkmate. I have absolutely

1026
01:20:44.479 --> 01:20:48.119
nothing against Idaho. In fact,
that was a spot to shut up.

1027
01:20:50.119 --> 01:20:57.359
Shut up. I have thought about
going to Idahoe for vacation. He's gonna

1028
01:20:57.479 --> 01:21:03.079
die kiss my ass boy. It's
all on a little tiny bone in his

1029
01:21:03.359 --> 01:21:08.520
collar with his phone number in case
she gets lost. I don't even know

1030
01:21:08.560 --> 01:21:14.840
what you're you're saying anymore. You
hate so much. So there's nothing that

1031
01:21:15.159 --> 01:21:18.479
there's nothing against Idaho or Boise.
The reason I said we're not going to

1032
01:21:18.560 --> 01:21:25.720
Boise, Idaho is because that I
think. I don't think there's a huge

1033
01:21:25.760 --> 01:21:30.199
list of ship He thinks you don't
know how internet works. Bryce right ends.

1034
01:21:30.319 --> 01:21:34.199
Dave's having a ball right now.
He's having a ball, even though

1035
01:21:34.319 --> 01:21:43.119
like he was like, yeah,
Boise Idaho, Potato right recording, you're

1036
01:21:43.159 --> 01:21:48.920
the one he said it. Oh
you Boysey Bigott. I would love to

1037
01:21:48.960 --> 01:21:54.359
go to Boise, Idaho. We'll
hang out. Oh if I don't think

1038
01:21:54.359 --> 01:21:58.840
Flora Lever talked to me again afterwards. I think I'm a trader. That

1039
01:21:59.000 --> 01:22:02.720
was great. Dave would steal me
out for a Chaco taco if you have

1040
01:22:02.760 --> 01:22:10.359
a Choco taco talk see oh see. Oh, we would love to come

1041
01:22:10.359 --> 01:22:12.880
to Boise, Idaho. I'll tell
you what. If you can drum up

1042
01:22:12.880 --> 01:22:15.680
about fifty to seventy five people that
would fill a theater to see us,

1043
01:22:15.760 --> 01:22:18.479
I'd go just to see you because
that's how I am. You know,

1044
01:22:18.560 --> 01:22:23.159
Flora needs Dave is in a position
where he can't lose right now. That's

1045
01:22:23.239 --> 01:22:27.960
the deal. Anyway, Sorry,
if I offended you, Bryce, it

1046
01:22:28.119 --> 01:22:32.039
was nothing against Boise or Idaho.
I'm also sorry, Flora. Oh he's

1047
01:22:32.079 --> 01:22:35.079
not. I'm so sorry his shirt. I should have stopped him, but

1048
01:22:35.359 --> 01:22:43.199
I just couldn't. Thanks Bryce,
Thanks Rid. Your next damn email Okay,

1049
01:22:43.399 --> 01:22:46.880
all right? Uh? Last email
uh is from the You've got one

1050
01:22:46.920 --> 01:22:49.760
more? Oh? I thought I
didn't see anything in your hands. Oh.

1051
01:22:50.079 --> 01:22:56.760
Another email here from the Boise,
Idaho Chamber of Commerce. It is

1052
01:22:56.960 --> 01:23:02.239
as I just had to pull my
children out of private school because I can't

1053
01:23:02.239 --> 01:23:08.319
afford to send them to get a
good one. I don't know. I

1054
01:23:08.359 --> 01:23:11.600
don't know where I was going with
that. It was the fact that I

1055
01:23:11.760 --> 01:23:15.199
was I turn tourism. Yeah,
you ruined a lot of things, the

1056
01:23:15.279 --> 01:23:21.479
hard working people the boys Yard got
an email from Butternut Squash Squash Yeah,

1057
01:23:21.640 --> 01:23:27.600
no squatch, Butternut Squatch rights.
It's up yo. Thanks for the shout

1058
01:23:27.640 --> 01:23:30.840
out in the VP Supplement eight.
That's the OCHO. Glad it was worth

1059
01:23:30.840 --> 01:23:34.520
a giggle. Still loved the podcast
and thought the live episode was fantastic.

1060
01:23:36.039 --> 01:23:40.079
If you're able to continue them maybe
annually. I'm going to try to get

1061
01:23:40.079 --> 01:23:43.600
out to attend one um well,
depending on hopefully you can bring it to

1062
01:23:43.680 --> 01:23:47.199
boys, depending on where in the
country you are. I think we will

1063
01:23:47.239 --> 01:23:50.359
now have to do a shame episode
and boys, we have to walk through

1064
01:23:50.399 --> 01:24:00.640
the streets of Boise naked. But
you will be there's a there's gonna be

1065
01:24:00.720 --> 01:24:04.840
a very stern woman in a nuts
habit, going lame, ringing a bell

1066
01:24:05.520 --> 01:24:10.439
lame. I don't know why I
think that's so funny. I don't know

1067
01:24:10.439 --> 01:24:13.760
why I aren't taking so long to
write this poor person. Sorry, I'm

1068
01:24:13.760 --> 01:24:19.159
sorry, I'm I'm punchy and I'm
exhausted. I'm doing both squatching and nutting

1069
01:24:19.199 --> 01:24:25.239
in Denver, Oh mile high,
that's my town. I love Denver.

1070
01:24:25.319 --> 01:24:28.600
I missed Denver. Why don't you
married Denver? Well, you were the

1071
01:24:28.640 --> 01:24:30.760
home of an hour with your ex. Now I know, I know I

1072
01:24:31.079 --> 01:24:34.119
could go hang out with them.
I could go visit them and do a

1073
01:24:34.159 --> 01:24:38.720
live show, because I don't mind
going anywhere or visiting people. Because I'm

1074
01:24:38.720 --> 01:24:42.439
a man of the people other people. I don't have any prejudice. I

1075
01:24:43.279 --> 01:24:45.560
don't know why it's so funny to
me. I actually know, I do

1076
01:24:45.680 --> 01:24:49.399
know why it's so funny to me, because the idea that you would like,

1077
01:24:49.920 --> 01:24:55.000
because you genuinely were worried that you
would offend somebody by saying that,

1078
01:24:55.119 --> 01:24:58.720
because you just like rattled off,
like the name of any town, USA,

1079
01:24:58.880 --> 01:25:00.840
first thing that popped into your ahead. You know what pops into people's

1080
01:25:00.840 --> 01:25:04.439
heads a lot, Dubuque, Iowa, Dubuque. Isn't like when people have

1081
01:25:04.520 --> 01:25:09.279
to say I don't know, I
don't know from Chicago to Dubuque, people

1082
01:25:09.319 --> 01:25:12.760
say Dubuque a lot. You Just
the thing that I love about it is

1083
01:25:12.760 --> 01:25:15.199
that you just picked a random town
and then you were like, oh,

1084
01:25:15.239 --> 01:25:17.159
I don't want to Yeah, that's
why it's funny to drag you through this,

1085
01:25:17.399 --> 01:25:21.159
because you're so you don't want to
offend anybody, and that's what makes

1086
01:25:21.159 --> 01:25:27.239
it delicious delicious for you, just
for me. Thanks Butternut Squat. One

1087
01:25:27.279 --> 01:25:30.520
more here Dave from beauty kins Hi. Beauty kins Hi, just writing in

1088
01:25:30.520 --> 01:25:39.239
to request my beautiful MS paint certificate
finishing both Hollow Earth episodes. H Wow,

1089
01:25:39.279 --> 01:25:42.039
I'm really glad that I mentioned that
prior to you reading that. Then

1090
01:25:42.479 --> 01:25:45.159
I feel psychic a little bit,
she says, for real, though,

1091
01:25:45.159 --> 01:25:47.439
I just discovered your podcast through Reddit
a few days ago and I love it.

1092
01:25:47.640 --> 01:25:53.399
Hey, I got some Reddit credit
just invented that phrase. No one's

1093
01:25:53.399 --> 01:25:57.600
ever said that before. I plan
on downloading a ton taking guys along on

1094
01:25:57.640 --> 01:26:01.039
my drive from Minnesota to Vermont the
summer. Wow, that is a hall.

1095
01:26:01.239 --> 01:26:03.439
How do you go? Do you
go up or down? You know?

1096
01:26:03.600 --> 01:26:06.279
Do you go through Canada? Do
you go around the bottom of the

1097
01:26:06.359 --> 01:26:10.239
lakes? That's true? What do
you? What do you what is easier

1098
01:26:10.279 --> 01:26:14.199
that way you go across? Oh? Sweet hydroplane? Do you have a

1099
01:26:14.239 --> 01:26:17.560
skiff? Skiff it? Bring some
other podcast, you know, spread it

1100
01:26:17.560 --> 01:26:21.239
out. There's a real there's a
real saturation danger there. I worry about

1101
01:26:21.279 --> 01:26:26.159
it. I don't like hearing myself
that much, she says. My husband's

1102
01:26:26.159 --> 01:26:29.039
a big fan of puns and I
usually just roll my eyes, but you

1103
01:26:29.079 --> 01:26:34.279
guys actually make me laugh quite a
bit. I think I might have one

1104
01:26:34.319 --> 01:26:39.279
to submit. Have you guys heard
of the new actor? I think he's

1105
01:26:39.560 --> 01:26:43.439
He's British and he's doing a new
Journey to the Center of the Earth movie.

1106
01:26:43.640 --> 01:26:46.760
Sweet. Yeah, his name's Colin
Earth. Oh nice. No,

1107
01:26:47.279 --> 01:26:50.279
I have to wonder where he fits
on the Firth van Dyke scale. He's

1108
01:26:50.359 --> 01:26:55.520
right at the top or the bottom. I also love you guys are in

1109
01:26:55.600 --> 01:26:58.199
Chicago, went to college there and
miss it every day. Wonder where you

1110
01:26:58.239 --> 01:27:02.920
went to school, Columbia. Maybe
you I see us, Paul Loyola,

1111
01:27:03.199 --> 01:27:08.760
we could name all I know.
I'm also from Milwaukee, Heyo or in

1112
01:27:08.800 --> 01:27:13.279
the University of Chicago. Sometimes I
get into trouble about mentioning that I'm glad

1113
01:27:13.279 --> 01:27:16.239
I shot that in time loved love
to hearing about Jay Nathan Couch. I

1114
01:27:16.279 --> 01:27:19.079
felt like I was listening to something
Taylor just for me. Well that's fun.

1115
01:27:19.359 --> 01:27:23.119
Yes, that's what we want to
do, taking you with me to

1116
01:27:23.239 --> 01:27:28.000
Vermont. Expect my certificate in my
inbox shortly, well shortly was this date

1117
01:27:28.079 --> 01:27:31.560
on that email? Date on that
email? Well you know we're only only

1118
01:27:31.560 --> 01:27:35.720
about a month out on this.
Okay, all right, okay, good,

1119
01:27:35.800 --> 01:27:40.039
But it don't smell bad. Yeah, it's not like a hungry hut

1120
01:27:40.119 --> 01:27:45.159
yet. I wouldn't I wouldn't need
it, but I keep it around the

1121
01:27:45.239 --> 01:27:48.720
case and has it to scare a
child. Thank you, Beutin, Thank

1122
01:27:48.800 --> 01:27:55.039
all of you for writing your glorious
Thank you for your continued five star reviews.

1123
01:27:55.079 --> 01:27:57.640
I don't think there's someone that didn't
quite get the memo. It's five

1124
01:27:57.720 --> 01:28:00.000
stars that we like. That's the
number of stars. Yeah. Um,

1125
01:28:00.159 --> 01:28:04.840
and also five one star reviews not
the same. The one five star review

1126
01:28:05.000 --> 01:28:10.000
not the same, you hyperactive post, so just make sure that it's one

1127
01:28:10.319 --> 01:28:14.199
five star review, not five one
star reviews, because that's what we've got

1128
01:28:14.279 --> 01:28:16.079
right now. So thank you guys
so much for writing those. They are

1129
01:28:16.199 --> 01:28:19.960
really really good those they I mean
it. I like reading those, especially

1130
01:28:20.000 --> 01:28:24.319
when I'm in a piss mood.
That's true. Yeah, it happens a

1131
01:28:24.319 --> 01:28:28.439
lot. I'm a fussy little baby
man, cry baby. Thanks for all

1132
01:28:28.439 --> 01:28:31.920
your likes on Facebook. Um.
One thing that probably the best thing you

1133
01:28:31.920 --> 01:28:36.119
could do besides like just throwing money
at us or signing up to Patreon or

1134
01:28:36.199 --> 01:28:40.039
doing push ups because you'll build a
lot of good upper body strength that way

1135
01:28:40.279 --> 01:28:44.319
is to tell people about us,
yes, and spread the word and get

1136
01:28:44.359 --> 01:28:47.279
everybody involved and make them love us. Wouldn't you rather tell your friends about

1137
01:28:47.319 --> 01:28:50.520
us than when doing push ups?
I know I would. I would.

1138
01:28:50.720 --> 01:28:55.680
Yeah. Wouldn't you rather tell your
friends about us than just throwing your wallet

1139
01:28:55.880 --> 01:28:59.039
or purse at us? I'll take
both. I mean, we'll not take

1140
01:28:59.279 --> 01:29:01.439
either or pride, no pride.
But it's a great way if you can

1141
01:29:01.479 --> 01:29:08.600
spread spread the good word there,
go over like the fan page on Facebook,

1142
01:29:08.920 --> 01:29:13.600
go to Twitter, follow us at
Blurry Underscore Photos, check out our

1143
01:29:13.640 --> 01:29:15.399
Instagram account. I just lie.
That doesn't even anything. Yeah, we

1144
01:29:15.399 --> 01:29:18.159
don't. We don't know that far
made it, not that far. We're

1145
01:29:18.199 --> 01:29:21.960
on Stitcher if you if you need
that kind of stuff, Android play all

1146
01:29:21.960 --> 01:29:26.960
that, all that stuff, Audible
trial dot Com, Slash Blurry Photos will

1147
01:29:27.000 --> 01:29:30.640
get you a free audio book just
for trying it out. If you don't

1148
01:29:30.680 --> 01:29:32.359
like it, after thirty days you
can get rid of it. You don't

1149
01:29:32.359 --> 01:29:34.960
even have to keep it for the
thirty days. You get rid of it,

1150
01:29:35.000 --> 01:29:38.399
but you keep the free audio book, which is cool. Now I've

1151
01:29:38.399 --> 01:29:42.720
just finished The Sea Wolves, which
is a great book all about the history

1152
01:29:42.720 --> 01:29:45.840
of the Vikings. Oh I thought
it was about the wolves, but you

1153
01:29:45.039 --> 01:29:51.439
or didn't want to swear. No, No, I'd say it. I'd

1154
01:29:51.479 --> 01:29:55.840
say it. I'm not it's scared. I'm not scared. I'd just say

1155
01:29:55.880 --> 01:29:58.439
it. I'd just say it.
How was that? It was great?

1156
01:29:58.560 --> 01:30:02.319
There's a lot of cool history.
Did you know that they tried and depending

1157
01:30:02.319 --> 01:30:06.159
on how you looked at it,
once or twice a pretty much almost succeeded

1158
01:30:06.199 --> 01:30:11.439
in taking Constantinople No, I didn't. The Vikings. Well, I know

1159
01:30:11.479 --> 01:30:15.560
that their predecessors, the Vandals,
got pretty pretty far into the Roman Empire.

1160
01:30:16.680 --> 01:30:19.239
They never tried for Rome, although
that was like, you know,

1161
01:30:19.319 --> 01:30:26.319
the big prize, but they they
really rustled some jimmies in Constantinople. You

1162
01:30:26.439 --> 01:30:30.600
never think about, right, the
Vandals were not run either. They they're

1163
01:30:30.640 --> 01:30:33.399
they're pre Vikings. They're just badass
people from there. But they were on

1164
01:30:33.479 --> 01:30:36.479
the mainland. They're not They're not
playing games. These guys are coming from

1165
01:30:36.600 --> 01:30:41.760
scan to fucking Navia, dam right. That's anyways. Sea Wolves is a

1166
01:30:41.800 --> 01:30:45.039
great, great read for you.
I feel like Vikings. I'm onto Song

1167
01:30:45.079 --> 01:30:47.520
of Susannah in the Dark Tower series. Yeah, you've been really jamming that

1168
01:30:47.560 --> 01:30:50.880
out. And anyways, Audible child
dot Com, slash Glory Photos. There's

1169
01:30:50.880 --> 01:30:54.279
a couple of things you can listen
to if you want to hear some other

1170
01:30:54.319 --> 01:30:58.640
podcasts. They're one hundred percent free
and awesome. Check out the Chicago Podcast

1171
01:30:58.680 --> 01:31:04.039
Cooperative. They are a mercenary unit
of some of the world's most skilled killing

1172
01:31:04.079 --> 01:31:08.920
podcasts. If you can find them, and if you can afford them,

1173
01:31:08.960 --> 01:31:15.479
maybe you can find the Chicago Podcast
Cooperative Bampa Bampa and are with your eggs

1174
01:31:15.079 --> 01:31:25.920
tie pencils also improvide star Trek humanity. Yeah, but also if you want

1175
01:31:25.920 --> 01:31:30.359
to uh, if you want to
put Christ, if you want to put

1176
01:31:30.439 --> 01:31:32.239
Hello from the Magic Tavern on an
airplane, you're gonna have to sedate at

1177
01:31:32.239 --> 01:31:36.159
first because it's to fly, It's
true. But yeah, thank you to

1178
01:31:36.399 --> 01:31:41.239
the podcast co Op, and thanks
thanks to Cards Against Immunity as always and

1179
01:31:41.359 --> 01:31:45.319
the Dark Myths Dark Myths don't forget
to go to Darkmouths dot org collection of

1180
01:31:45.399 --> 01:31:53.600
great podcast of history, literature,
mystery, mystery and dysentery and Dysentery.

1181
01:31:53.640 --> 01:31:56.760
That's a real downer of a podcast, by the way, but you get

1182
01:31:56.800 --> 01:31:58.760
a lot, you get a lot
of great stuff on there. The Lesser

1183
01:31:58.800 --> 01:32:03.199
Botapartes rumor Fly History on Fire,
Twilight Histories is a really cool one.

1184
01:32:03.359 --> 01:32:06.800
And that's not about vampires with shiny
skin. No, no, it's not

1185
01:32:06.960 --> 01:32:11.159
to be clear, But yeah,
go over there, check those guys out.

1186
01:32:11.199 --> 01:32:15.960
There's there's tons of great podcasts that
you will enjoy, so so Dartmouths

1187
01:32:15.159 --> 01:32:18.439
dot org. Yeah, and I
don't know, I think that's that's probably

1188
01:32:18.439 --> 01:32:21.800
it. We got a store,
don't forget, please go buy shirts and

1189
01:32:21.960 --> 01:32:26.520
we still got those couzies. Man, they're they're sitting here and they're doing

1190
01:32:26.560 --> 01:32:30.000
nothing but keeping the box that they're
in cool. Yeah, keeping them real

1191
01:32:30.039 --> 01:32:33.119
cool and letting your beer in your
hand get warm, warm, and sweaty.

1192
01:32:33.920 --> 01:32:39.039
So have some respect for yourself.
Coozy. They're five bucks. It's

1193
01:32:39.039 --> 01:32:42.159
all included. Yeah, who cares? Yeah, go over to Patreon,

1194
01:32:42.920 --> 01:32:45.319
sign up, get get a bunch
of stuff. There's just so much stuff.

1195
01:32:45.319 --> 01:32:49.119
Literal wheelbarrel of digital ones and zeros
delivered. One thing that got brought

1196
01:32:49.199 --> 01:32:53.920
up on the live stream, which
you can get at the twenty dollars level,

1197
01:32:54.520 --> 01:32:58.159
um naked postcards of David and I
and one of them we're at a

1198
01:32:58.279 --> 01:33:01.840
rodeo. Another one we're doing,
uh, figure skating. One of them

1199
01:33:01.960 --> 01:33:08.399
we recreated figure skating. The other
one we recreated the dirty dancing lift.

1200
01:33:08.640 --> 01:33:12.920
You've you've thought too much about this, Hold up to you. One thing

1201
01:33:12.960 --> 01:33:18.079
that got suggested was a way to
access old content that that maybe the extrasodes

1202
01:33:18.560 --> 01:33:23.239
that come out, maybe if somebody
missed like the first Chrono nuts. That's

1203
01:33:23.279 --> 01:33:25.319
true. We did put a krona
knots out there, and it seems a

1204
01:33:25.319 --> 01:33:30.199
shame to limit the access. Yeah, we are hostage. We're thinking about

1205
01:33:30.199 --> 01:33:31.720
that, we're going to start thinking
about how to access that. We're thinking

1206
01:33:31.720 --> 01:33:35.319
about it, but drinking about it. Anyways, that'll do it for this

1207
01:33:35.399 --> 01:33:44.239
episode of Blurry Photos. I have
been David copa Flora. Oh, and

1208
01:33:44.399 --> 01:33:46.479
I have been Dave. You can
stick around for the secret track that you're

1209
01:33:46.479 --> 01:34:31.439
gonna regret it stecco. Ah god, yea grappa bye. I have to

1210
01:34:31.479 --> 01:34:39.159
read this because a grammatically doesn't make
a lot of sense, and b I

1211
01:34:39.279 --> 01:34:44.039
got a story written by George Suklos. Whoa what? Yeah? This is?

1212
01:34:44.079 --> 01:34:46.239
This is what you're you're leading off
with? Yeah, it isn't this.

1213
01:34:46.359 --> 01:34:49.680
And I'll say this. We don't
usually lead off with the site unseen,

1214
01:34:50.399 --> 01:34:54.199
but I found this. I downloaded
a couple of apps that are just

1215
01:34:54.439 --> 01:34:58.720
full of ghost stories to go through, and I just was while I was

1216
01:34:58.760 --> 01:35:01.079
finding the one that I'd already looked
at, I found this one and it's

1217
01:35:01.119 --> 01:35:13.119
called did Boy Kill? Yes he
did? Oh my god, Sukolo sound

1218
01:35:13.840 --> 01:35:17.960
he is such a thing even possible? Yes it is. Okay, here's

1219
01:35:17.960 --> 01:35:24.119
a story that's so god awful that
covers so many bases that we can't just

1220
01:35:24.199 --> 01:35:27.199
put it at the end, just
hide it. Okay, we read this

1221
01:35:28.560 --> 01:35:30.279
and then at the end we realized
it was so bad it couldn't even be

1222
01:35:30.279 --> 01:35:33.720
in the episode. That's right,
It doesn't go anywhere, so we but

1223
01:35:33.800 --> 01:35:38.359
we've already recorded it. So so
where's that going to go? Not the

1224
01:35:38.439 --> 01:35:43.159
ether, It's gonna go to your
ears? Yeah, ther earther your ear,

1225
01:35:44.119 --> 01:35:47.079
Arthur, there is there is another
story on here called the Cat and

1226
01:35:47.079 --> 01:35:56.159
the Hat strikes back. Did boy
kill? Yes? He did. Spoilers.

1227
01:35:56.880 --> 01:36:04.279
Oh, my husband and I are
alive. My son is not well,

1228
01:36:04.399 --> 01:36:08.520
not in any way that we know
him. I'm not quite sure if

1229
01:36:08.520 --> 01:36:12.199
he ever was alive, or if
he was ever really there. I'm not

1230
01:36:12.199 --> 01:36:16.479
sure what to believe anymore me neither. Melvin Junior did come to our house

1231
01:36:16.520 --> 01:36:21.159
the next evening, I swear that's
the next paragraph. I wanted to go

1232
01:36:21.239 --> 01:36:25.039
far away for that night, but
my husband was having none of it,

1233
01:36:25.520 --> 01:36:29.520
said I was being overly paranoid,
even accused me of being drunk. My

1234
01:36:29.600 --> 01:36:32.159
son, of course, denied having
the conversation. It was almost as if

1235
01:36:32.239 --> 01:36:35.920
he forgot he told me about his
past life or whatever it was. I

1236
01:36:36.079 --> 01:36:41.760
made sure timmy Junior slept with us
that night. How many juniors they can't

1237
01:36:41.760 --> 01:36:47.239
both be juniors because Melvin Junior and
Timmy Junior. Wait, they can't both

1238
01:36:47.239 --> 01:36:53.560
be juniors, so it's not it
works like a different marriage. Oh.

1239
01:36:53.600 --> 01:36:58.159
Anyway, made sure Timmy Junior slept
with us that night. I refused to

1240
01:36:58.199 --> 01:37:00.319
let him out of my sight all
day. The waiting and not knowing was

1241
01:37:00.399 --> 01:37:04.039
debilitating. I remember sitting with my
aunt at her house when I was fifteen

1242
01:37:04.520 --> 01:37:09.199
fifteen years old. She was waiting
to hear from the authorities after getting a

1243
01:37:09.239 --> 01:37:12.520
call that my cousin and uncle were
in a boning accident. It took a

1244
01:37:12.520 --> 01:37:15.399
week for them to call off the
search. It took two months to be

1245
01:37:15.479 --> 01:37:18.720
told the parts of them washed up
on the shore Wolf. I remember thinking

1246
01:37:18.760 --> 01:37:23.600
back then that the knowing, though
tragic, was better than the waiting.

1247
01:37:24.319 --> 01:37:29.000
That thought held true for me.
Exhausted by every panic laced minute that passed

1248
01:37:29.079 --> 01:37:31.600
during the day, I drifted asleep
with Timmy Junior in my arms. I

1249
01:37:31.720 --> 01:37:34.960
woke with a young boy, the
same eight year old boy in the photo

1250
01:37:34.960 --> 01:37:39.079
of the article, hovering over me, about six inches from my face.

1251
01:37:39.520 --> 01:37:42.399
He had what I assumed was a
knife to my cheek. It was too

1252
01:37:42.439 --> 01:37:45.840
close to my eye for me to
make it out for sure. Paralyzed by

1253
01:37:45.880 --> 01:37:48.479
fear, I lay frozen in a
blank stare at this ghost. He leaned

1254
01:37:48.479 --> 01:37:54.039
in a little closer to me and
whispered, Mummy, your skin I want

1255
01:37:54.159 --> 01:37:58.920
to peel it. I screamed in
a way that seemed to vibrate the bed.

1256
01:37:59.279 --> 01:38:01.199
As I did, my husband and
son woke, and the boy from

1257
01:38:01.239 --> 01:38:05.039
the photo lifted his knife and thrust
downward. I raised my arms to block

1258
01:38:05.119 --> 01:38:09.600
him, and my husband leapt over
to protect me and Timmy Junior. The

1259
01:38:09.680 --> 01:38:13.680
knife went through my arms and passed
my husband's torso like a specter until it

1260
01:38:13.760 --> 01:38:16.920
landed squarely in my son's neck.
Timmy Junior began to convulse, as though

1261
01:38:16.920 --> 01:38:24.800
the knife electrified every nerve in his
body. My husband started to throw throw

1262
01:38:24.880 --> 01:38:30.279
fists at Melvin Junior. Who is
that the ghost swinging through him and hitting

1263
01:38:30.319 --> 01:38:33.640
nothing? It is the ghost.
I tried to console my boy to shake

1264
01:38:33.720 --> 01:38:36.680
him out of it. As I
lay halfway through the ghost. I tried

1265
01:38:36.720 --> 01:38:41.560
grasping at the knife in his chest, and then it wasn't in his chest

1266
01:38:41.600 --> 01:38:45.960
before Timmy Juniors, Yeah, but
it was neck. Yeah, I tried

1267
01:38:45.000 --> 01:38:51.159
grasping. It's great. Shut up, shut up. I tried grasping at

1268
01:38:51.199 --> 01:38:55.520
the knife in his chest and then
tried covering the visible rip in his chest,

1269
01:38:55.560 --> 01:38:59.119
but the knife wasn't physical and the
wound had no blood. I still

1270
01:38:59.159 --> 01:39:04.479
cannot comprehend and what happened when Timmy
Junior's body stopped shaking, Melvin Junior disappeared,

1271
01:39:04.479 --> 01:39:09.399
and my son died. My husband
tried CPR on my son in an

1272
01:39:09.439 --> 01:39:12.800
attempt to try to resuscitate him.
I sat on the bed next to him,

1273
01:39:12.840 --> 01:39:15.640
sobbing uncontrollably. When I heard my
son cough, I called out his

1274
01:39:15.720 --> 01:39:20.840
name and prematurely hugged my husband in
a relieved embrace. You need to verify

1275
01:39:21.000 --> 01:39:26.560
first. Timmy Junior opened his eyes, shifted them to me, and started

1276
01:39:26.600 --> 01:39:30.079
to talk in a way I've never
heard him speak. He spoke to us

1277
01:39:30.119 --> 01:39:33.800
like a Southern bell, confused and
startled, as though she woke from a

1278
01:39:33.840 --> 01:39:39.800
coma. Oh please please. It's
been a few days since he died and

1279
01:39:39.840 --> 01:39:44.000
came back to life. My husband
and I have been having many interesting conversations

1280
01:39:44.039 --> 01:39:48.800
with our quote son. Apparently his
new name is bridget S. I cannot

1281
01:39:48.800 --> 01:39:53.920
make out the last name due to
the accent. Maybe songs or SuDS or

1282
01:39:53.960 --> 01:40:00.079
something. Like that, and she
apparently is from Louisiana from the conversations you

1283
01:40:00.119 --> 01:40:03.399
have had. She was also probably
around eighteen or nineteen years old and lived

1284
01:40:03.399 --> 01:40:08.640
in the late seventies. Timmy Junior
also has not been sleeping well. He

1285
01:40:08.680 --> 01:40:12.520
will wake up in a horrible pain, grabbing his private parts in agony,

1286
01:40:12.840 --> 01:40:16.319
or he will wake up and begin
to vomit because she can't stand the smell.

1287
01:40:16.840 --> 01:40:19.399
I don't know what any of it
means, but it may be a

1288
01:40:19.479 --> 01:40:24.800
clue. Can any of you help
me find out more details about this Bridget

1289
01:40:24.880 --> 01:40:28.760
woman. I need to know if
something else is coming after my son.

1290
01:40:30.359 --> 01:40:40.359
The end. I can't read another
one of those. We might even not

1291
01:40:40.479 --> 01:40:47.319
get to use that one. Oh
my gosh, Bridget schools out and summertimes

1292
01:40:47.399 --> 01:40:55.439
here at six flags. Your face. I already killed myself face everybody,

1293
01:40:56.000 --> 01:41:01.239
come on down your face before I
kill myself. So come on down the

1294
01:41:01.359 --> 01:41:08.800
six hands. Just stun it.
Just show up shut at the front door.

1295
01:41:09.000 --> 01:41:14.560
Then get back in your fucking car. The coat can just shtun it.

1296
01:41:14.680 --> 01:41:25.800
Get park. Oh yeah, do
one more. Oh yeah, I

1297
01:41:26.159 --> 01:41:31.600
guess. Please my name, he
said, char gig Or come down to

1298
01:41:32.239 --> 01:41:48.039
make her happiness. Where the gum
get set up. Don't continue the joke

1299
01:41:48.119 --> 01:42:02.680
thought macan ice cream sex has soft
on your mouth with semi soft her shut

1300
01:42:02.800 --> 01:42:10.560
up, Let the flag force itself
apart. Okay, okay, all right,

1301
01:42:11.039 --> 01:42:16.960
okay, all right, there's a
line. I believe your line was

1302
01:42:23.079 --> 01:42:30.840
about Sarah. I need I need
everything relaxed to do that. When I'm

1303
01:42:30.920 --> 01:42:49.800
laughing, everything's like clinch. Al
right, sure, oh god stop my

1304
01:42:49.880 --> 01:42:55.119
nose up from the from the back, and everything just sort of rebounded.

1305
01:42:55.119 --> 01:42:57.319
All right, I have a little
sip, have a little slip, take

1306
01:42:57.359 --> 01:43:06.680
the take. I'm good, good, okay, God, all right,

1307
01:43:08.680 --> 01:43:20.720
I'm believing you don't worry if you're
till midnight. I don't care. Gigs,

1308
01:43:30.319 --> 01:43:40.600
I've made them army of time amium
dogs to chase a child. Well,

1309
01:43:40.640 --> 01:43:46.840
because I said one more time.
I was trying. I was trying

1310
01:43:46.880 --> 01:43:55.039
to clear the deck a man a
sandwich shot of sadness and umbilical. You're

1311
01:43:55.119 --> 01:44:01.119
like the skin bread. Okay,
let's okay, I'm gonna make eye contact.

1312
01:44:02.000 --> 01:44:09.159
I'm making eye contact with your thord
Teddy Bear. Oh yeah, so

1313
01:44:09.399 --> 01:44:18.079
close. Oh yeah, that was
good. I was sexual. Oh yeah,

1314
01:44:18.119 --> 01:44:24.920
all right, that's it. We're
done. That was it.